The Church of Eleven22 - S02E28 - Forgive One Another

Episode Date: October 18, 2021

We made it to the final “one another” this season, and that’s to forgive one another. Unforgiveness will lead to bitterness, closing off relationships to one another and to God. Forgive one another as the Lord has forgiven you. ¹² Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, ¹³ bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. – Colossians 3:12-13 We hope this season has blessed you over the last 28 weeks. Stay tuned for season 3, coming in 2022! If you're looking for additional resources to help you deepen your relationship with Jesus Christ, visit coe22.com/resources.

Welcome to deepen with Pastor Joby Martin. The Church of 1122 is a movement for all people to discover and deepen a relationship with Jesus Christ. And we're praying this message helps you deepen your relationship with him. Now let's dive in. Hey church family, welcome to the Deep and Devo, the very last one of the one another series. And so I hope, I hope, I hope that you have deepened your walk with Jesus Christ.

And if you missed one, then the good news is these things will be available as long as there's an internet, which I think is going to catch on. So go back and listen to them all. Today, on our last one another, the Bible says in Colossians 313, forgive one another. And part of the reason I paired this with this week is because this past weekend, what we did in church is this is when Jesus reinstates Peter. And if you'll remember, several weeks ago, Jesus was denied by Peter three times by a charcoal fire before Jesus was crucified on the night that he was betrayed.

And then post-resurrection, Jesus shows up on the seashore of Galilee. He sees Peter fishing, who's been fishing all night, which was a big deal. He wasn't just fishing for fun. He was returning to his old lifestyle because he didn't know what to do. And if you remember this weekend, I said, you don't have to do the things you used to do because you're not the person that you used to be. And so fishes all night, catches nothing. Jesus calls out to Peter, did you catch anything, hadn't caught anything.

Try the other side. By faith, he tries the other side. which is a big deal, remember, do what he tells you to do. That's why how we started, the very first miracle, remember that? Mary says to the service, do whatever he tells you to do. The last miracle that we have in John, same thing. He says to Peter, do something kind of crazy, try the other side. And when he does what Jesus says, boom, there's a miracle hanging out on the other side.

Peter dives in, swims to Jesus. Jesus has breakfast there, and then Jesus asks him three times, do you love me, do you, love me, do you love me? Why? Because Peter denied Jesus three times. And then Peter's like, oh, I see what you're doing here. I see what you're doing. And so ultimately, what Jesus is offering to Peter is forgiveness.

That he's saying to Peter, no matter how much you sin, if you have surrendered your life to the Lordship of Jesus Christ, you cannot out sin the grace of God. Pour it out for you at the cross of Jesus Christ. Now, that is not a license to sin. That is freedom from it. And then Jesus says these very famous words to Peter, follow me, which is also the very first words that he said. and what he's signifying to Peter is this, that when I forgive you, then it is a clean slate. You don't owe me anything anymore.

So with that in mind, here's what Colossians 313 says. It says, forgive one another, that you and I are to forgive one another. And the reality is, is that if you spend any time with people for very long, then you are going to have to practice this. And very few people understand biblically what it means to forgive one another. In the context of Colossians chapter 3, by the way, if I do your wedding, this is one of the primary passages I read because husbands and wives are going to need to forgive one another probably more than anyone else. Can I get a witness?

And here's what it says. Here's what Colossians 3 says, beginning of verse 12. It says, put on then as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another. and if one has a complaint against another, forgive each other. As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. You hear that? Let me say it again.

As the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. So let me ask you this. If you were in Christ Jesus, how has the Lord forgiven you all the way? That's how we're supposed to forgive one another. And above all these, and the these there is above, above, passionate hearts above kindness, above humility, above meekness, above patience, above bearing with one another, above all these, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony, and let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts to which indeed you were called into one body

and be thankful. So I read that when I do weddings. So what does it look like to forgive? People have so many misunderstandings of what forgiveness is. And a part of the reason people don't actually forgive but they think they do is because they think that forgiveness is a feeling, but forgiveness is not a feeling. Forgiveness is a decision. I promise you're going to have all kind of feelings if somebody has done you wrong or sinned against you. And oftentimes at church, we spend a lot of time talking about what do you do if you've sinned, but we don't spend, nobody spends very much time talking about what do you do if someone has sinned against you. Now, I try to teach on this as much as I can, but if you go to Matthew chapter 18, what Jesus does

is he walks through step by step what the process of making the decision to forgive somebody is. So it's kind of a lot, so I'll try to go fast. Matthew 1815 says this, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault. Between you and him alone. Now let's just stop right there. First of all, you have to determine if the person that has sinned against you, is it your brother or not?

If it's not your brother, then you don't have a reconciliation conversation. first and foremost, you have an evangelistic conversation. Get it? Secondly, you need to determine if it was a sin. Because sometimes what happens is somebody hurts your feeling, but they didn't sin against you, or somebody has a different opinion than you do, but that's not a sin.

Or somebody has bumped up against your personal preferences, but that's not a sin. But if it is a sin, then you talk to that person, you don't talk about that person. That's right. If every single believer just did that, we would be the most radical human beings to ever live on the face of the planet.

And so what Jesus is saying is, if somebody sins against you, then you go tell them that person. Now, I will say there are some circumstances where this will not immediately apply. And let me just be frank, if you have been abused, you do not go one-on-one with your abuser. If it was a physical abuse or sexual abuse or whatever it is. The Bible nowhere says that you need to put yourself in a place to be abused again. That's not what he's talking about.

But if it's just regular old relational friction and fracture, if somebody has sinned against you, you go and you talk to them directly. And if he listens to you, you've gained your brother. So the whole goal of forgiveness is reconciliation. But if he doesn't listen, take one or two others along with you that every charge may be established by the evidence or two or three witnesses. Now, this does not mean that you gang up on somebody. This does not mean that you just surprise and bring your whole disciple group. What this means is that you bring, if you can't, reconcile the two of you, you bring an objective third party, wise counsel that can kind of help navigate and referee the situation. And when you do that, you need to be just as open to see where

you may have wronged this other person too. And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. That does not mean the church service. It means get help from one of the pastors. That's what that means. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Now, real quick, some churches kick people out of the church based on this verse. I think what this verse means is, look how Jesus treated the Gentile and the tax collector. He rolled out the red carpet for him. And he says, truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again, I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my father in heaven. Now, what those two

verses mean is what you are doing is of eternal significance and when two people get together to try to share and reconcile a relationship through forgiveness then God himself gets involved in that and he cannot wait to answer that prayer for where two or three are gathered in my name there I am among them now this is the teaching that Peter gives I mean that Peter receives from Jesus and so Peter has some questions and in verse 21 Peter the Bible says that Peter came up and said to him Lord, how often will my brother sin against me and I forgive him as many as seven times? And Peter thought he was a stud when he said this, because the Old Testament does not require forgiveness. It requires eye for eye and tooth for tooth. That's called retribution.

And Jesus said to him, I do not say to you seven times, but 77 times. Now, that doesn't mean a literal 77. In the Bible, literally in Greek it says 70 and seven. Seven is the number of completion. You put a zero on it. It means like a bazillion. It just means basically Peter's like, How many times are I have to forgive? And Jesus says, well, how many times have I forgiven you?

And Peter's like, well, that's a lot. He's like, well, that's how many times you should forgive. And then Jesus is going to give a parable that shows us how to forgive. Because what good does it do if I tell you one of the one another's is this, forgive one another, but you haven't actually done biblical forgiveness. You've just tried to let it go. These are very different things. And so here is the illustration, the parable that Jesus gives.

It says, therefore, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wishes to settle accounts with his servants. That's the most important word, settle accounts. So forgiveness is like a settling of an account. Like you have an account and this person owes you something. It says when he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents. So the way to think about forgiveness, first and foremost, is this. When somebody sins against you, it's like they have debited,

your account. It's like they owe you something. Like they lied about you and they stole from you your reputation or they divorced you and they stole from you that promise that was made or, you know, they stole money from you and they literally owe you money, that kind of thing. That's how you need to think about it. This is how Jesus sets it up. And so when they began to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents. A talent in the Bible is a sum of money. It's worth 20 years wages. So this guy owed him 10,000, 20-year wages. It's an impossible amount of money to pay back. It's like bigger than the GDP of the United States of America. It's great. So everybody hearing this understands that, wow, this king is going to settle accounts with a servant that owes him more than he

could ever pay. I hope this is sounding familiar. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold with his wife and children and all that he had and payment to be made. And so the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, have patience with me, and I will pay you everything, which is a lie. It might have been from a good place in his heart. It was just impossible. He says, I'll pay you everything. And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released them and forgave him his debt. Those words, that's what forgiveness is. Forgave him his debt. The master looked at him and said, you don't. don't owe me anymore. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants

who owed him a hundred denary, maybe a few thousand dollars, like a couple months wages. And seizing him, he began to choke him and say, pay what you owe. And so his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him and said, have patience with me and I will pay you. And he refused, and he went and he put him in prison until he should pay the debt. You don't make any money in prison. You can't pay the debt. And when his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed. Why were they distressed? They looked at this and they thought, well, this doesn't make any sense at all. You were just forgiven of so much. Why could you not forgive that guy of so little? You owed the king so much and he forgave you of so much. How could you then not forgive this person of so little?

I hope, I hope, I hope. Things are clicking for you there. and they were greatly distressed. And they went and they reported to their master all that had taken place. And then his master summoned him and said to him, you wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me and you should have mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you. And in his anger, his master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay all his debt, which is never.

So also my heavenly father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart. Short speak, what Matthew is saying here is if you don't forgive your brother, you're going to hell. That's what he said. Why? Because what he's saying is there's no possible way you could have received the forgiveness of Jesus completely and withhold forgiveness to somebody for somebody else.

That's what he said. What he's saying is you don't know Jesus. Now, how do you forgive? How do you settle accounts? it's very simple and it'll be the hardest thing you ever do in your life. Number one, you identify who is sin against you. For some of you, that's easy because you know who it is. It's your ex or it's your old boss or whoever it is.

And I would encourage you to get out a piece of paper and write their name down. You're settling accounts with that person. Secondly, what did they take from you? And this is not like a one-word answer. Okay, part of the reason that Christians don't, aren't very good at forgiving is because they misunderstand it, misunderstand what forgiveness is, and they say things like, well, we just need to forgive and forget. No, no, no, no, no, no. You need to forgive and remember that you forgave. And if you just say, you know what, that was a long time ago, I'm just going to get over it.

You get over the flu. You don't get over being sinned against. There's a wound there. There's a debt there. And if you just keep ignoring it, like I don't know if you've ever had like an unpaid credit card bill or an unpaid bill, ignore an unpaid bill long enough. And what happens? It just goes away, right? Eventually they just quit calling. Nope. It gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger to the point where it ruins and runs your whole life. That's what unforgiveness does. Identify the person, identify the debt that they owe you, what they took from you. I would be specific. I would write this down. write down the feelings associated with these things. And then what you have, when you do this,

is you will be holding in your hand a debt ledger. And you will say, this is what that person owes me. And in that moment, you have a choice. In that moment, you can either hold on to that. And there's a lot of reasons people hold on to that debt ledger. One, it's because it excuses their bad behavior. It excuses their crappy attitude. It excuses their anger issue.

another reason is because they think that person will get away as if you're the great judge. But it will kill you. It will. Unforgiveness will lead to bitterness. It will close off your heart to relationships and to God. So one, you can hold on to the debt ledger or you could do what Jesus says and cancel the debt. Cancel the debt. Again, you don't forgive and forget.

You forgive and remember that you have canceled that debt. You say out loud, canceled, paid in full. Because Jesus canceled all of my debt, I canceled this debt. Do they owe me this? They used to, but not anymore. You don't owe me anything anymore. And then I would encourage you to do something to remember that day that you canceled the dead. You could burn the debt ledger, you could bury it, you could, well, I don't do something, okay, but cancel the debt. And then, and then years later, if this person was convicted by the Holy Spirit of their sin against you, and years later, they came up to you and they fell on their face and they were like,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I am so sorry. I owe you an apology. Then you go, no, no, no, no, no. Get up, get up, get up, get up. You don't owe me anything because I have canceled the debt. Church of 1122, because the king has canceled all of our debt, may we cancel anyone's debt that they have, they owe us. because the king has forgiven us of all of our sin, may you and I forgive one another, just as Christ has forgiven us.

Just like Jesus sitting by that charcoal fire, eating fish with Peter says, for every time you denied me, Peter, do you love me, do you love me? And so for whoever has sinned against you, because of God's great love for you, may we forgive one another. Let's pray. Dear Father in heaven, Lord, we thank you for your forgiveness. And God, I pray that by the power of the Holy Spirit, that we as forgiven people would forgive one another.

God, we're not trying to make light of sin. Sin is such a big deal that you had to die on the cross for it in order for that debt to be paid. But Lord, so we're not trying to make light of sin. We're just trying to make much of you. So, Lord, I pray for every single person, every man, every woman, every student, to this. If there is someone that they've been holding a grudge against or had a misunderstanding about what forgiveness is, God, may we forgive one another. We pray it in Jesus' name. Amen.

Thank you for joining us for Deepen with Pastor Jobi Martin. If you're looking for additional resources to help you further deepen your relationship with Jesus Christ, visit co-e-22.com slash resources. We're praying this message you heard today. helps you experience God in a unique and fresh way. And as always, be free.