The Church of Eleven22 - Week 10: How to Win a Fight

Episode Date: August 13, 2023

The reason you fight is because you don’t get what you want. The real problem is what you really want can only be found in Christ.

Amen and amen. How are we, church, doing good? Ready to talk about fighting? Grab your Bibles are going to be in James chat before. A couple things before we get there. Would you at all of our locations, from Fleming Island to Jessup, Georgia, all in between,

would you please welcome our brand new North Jacksonville campus that is opening this weekend? Welcome. It has been long awaited, a little thing called COVID. Remember that? It kind of slows some things down,

but God is right on time, and so we're super excited about that. Also, just in case you hadn't opened your eyes yet, you can see the baptizable ones are up here, and so at the end of our service today, we're going to baptize some people. We've got over 100 people scheduled to be baptized this weekend, but I also want you to know this, if you put your faith in Jesus Christ and you've never been baptized as a believer and you want to get baptized today, you can do it today. And if you're like, well, I don't have to close. It don't matter. Get in, you can just get in. It'll be fine, all right? Go home,

soffing wet. And what's really good, many of you are here to celebrate. with your friends and family because they've been through the class and they're going to get baptized. And here's what you don't even know. You might get baptized tonight. And you'll be like, not me. Maybe. We'll see, okay? But that will be available.

That's how we're going to end our service today and it's going to be awesome. Trust me. And then one other thing, just because she's here, my mama is over here right here on the first row. So everybody's like, thank you to my mama. Maybe after the service you could find her and tell her what a wonderful job she did. I don't know why you left. Okay? For mostly me.

Not so much my brother. But one out of two ain't bad. You know what I mean? That's pretty good. All right. James Chapter 4 is where we are going to be. And he starts out with a question. And it's interesting the question that he starts with

because if you remember last week, and I know you did because you wrote it all down because you take good notes and stuff. The way he ended last week is he talking about peace. He kept saying peace, peace, peace over and over. Last week we ended with, and a harvest of righteousness is sown by peace by those who make peace.

And then he's just going to shift gears and go in another direction. And he asks this question, what causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Anybody ever have quarrels or fights? Anybody? Okay. Now, my wife loves me so much, and she is so dedicated to my preaching ministry

that she made sure, and I made sure, that we got to experience the verses that we are going to study. this very week, isn't she good? And it was mostly via text. So you know it was healthy. You understand what I'm saying? Here's the thing, as I'm walking right through this as we speak. If I were to ask you, if I were to give you my little weird mic,

and I were to say to you, hey, come up on stage, and I want you to describe, to all of us, just describe your last fight or describe your last quarrel. For some of you, it would take a little longer for you to come up with, and God bless your ministry, you're so sweet and kind, okay? For most of us, our mind would immediately go to that place, that space, that person, wouldn't me? And if I were to give you the microphone and say, just tell me about your last fight, I'm going to tell you,

every single one of us would start it out the same way. All right, well, here's what happened in my life's fact. So there I was. And my boss, and then you start sharing details. My children, a little ungrateful, right? My wife, my husband, isn't that how we'd start it? Every single time we think about the quarrels and the fights that we have, the things that we tend to do every single time is to say, you know what they did? I mean, I was there just being awesome, minding my own business, and they walked in the room and they did this or they said that, and it made me so mad.

And I can't believe. And every single one of us have a tendency to say, oh, James, what causes fight some quarrels among me? It's somebody out there. It's those people out there. And then James says this. Is it not this? And then James is going to do a radical thing that you rarely see in the Bible.

James is going to answer a question that he asked. You don't think it's strange? Think about Jesus. They would come up to Jesus. I think the reason that he just directly answers his questions is because he grew up with Jesus. He grew up sharing a real thing. room with Jesus. Can you imagine? You might think it would be awesome if your brother was the

savior of the world, but it's probably a little pressure, isn't it? I mean, every single time they're screaming coming from the back bedroom, Joseph just walks in and starts wearing out James because it can't be Jesus's fault. And I think he's sick and tired of the stories and the parables and the people ask him, Jesus. And they ask him a question, a very straight question. And he answers their questions with, is there not 12 hours in a day? And you're like, well, sometimes, But sometimes it's long, I don't know what that means. So what James does is James just takes it and puts it right here on the bottom shelf. And he says this, what causes fights and quarrels among you?

Is it not this? And here's his answer. That your passions are at war within you. Uh-oh. By the way, that word passions in Greek is where we get the word hedonism. That word passions means like, because I want to do what I want to do with whoever I want to do it, and you're not the boss of me, and you don't get to tell me who I am. By the way, this word here, passions or hedonism, which culturally today would simply be defined

is this, you do, you boo, that's what that means, okay? That is the God of the universe right now, of this culture, that you just decide who, you put you in the center of the universe and you make everybody else play the game, that you are an idol that needs to be worshipped. And you do whatever you want with whoever you want, whenever you want, that's what this is. That your passions are at war within you. So guess what? I don't know if you've ever thought about this, but do you know what the common denominator is in every single fight or quarrel that you have ever been in? It's you. That's right. It is you. It is you. Every, Every single fight you've been in, you were in it.

Every single coral you've been in, you were in it. Every single time, because I know Christians don't get angry, you get frustrated. Every time you've gotten frustrated, it was you. And so he keeps going. He's like, look, see, you think it's a thing that's happening out there, and if these people would just straighten up, then you wouldn't have fights and corals, and then you could have peace. But the problem is there's a war, there's a passion, there's a hedonism, there's a,

Do you not know who you're talking to stirring around in here? Then he gets personal, man. Verse two, you desire and you do not have. In other words, do you know why you fight and quarrel? Because you want something and you don't get it. Like how childish does that sound? How simple does that sound? You see, we have this selfish pursuit of satisfaction.

That's what that word desire means. The reason that you fight, the reason that you quarrel, the reason that I fight, the reason that I quarrel, is simply this. I wanted something, and I didn't get it. Now, the moment I share this with somebody in a one-on-one kind of conversation, and even right now, you're being defensive,

I can tell by your face, okay? You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, pastor, okay, okay, okay, but it's just not that simple. It's just not that simple. No, no, no, no, no, no, this is my right. This is my right. Like, I have rights, and this person has tread upon my rights.

Or you'll say, no, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, but what happened against me, the reason I'm angry and the reason I fight in quarrel is because the thing was, it was unjust and I just want justice. Or, no, no, no, I don't think you understand. I deserve this. They made a promise, and they didn't keep their promise, and I deserved for people to keep their promises to me. They owe me this.

Okay, whatever, man. You realize that's all just semantics. So we can change the words. All right, you, you wanted something that you thought was rightfully yours, and you didn't get it. Or you wanted something you thought you deserved and you didn't get it. Or you wanted justice and you didn't get it. Okay, it's all the same thing. And listen, most of my examples are going to be in and around marriage,

but I believe that you're smart enough to make the applications in other sectors. But this is the way it goes, okay? Spouses get after each other a little bit, and one of them just says, listen, I just want to be respected. That's it. I mean, I feel like I deserve a little respect. I work and I'm a pretty good guy and faithful and, you know, you begin to give out your resume of why you should be worshipped and respected and values.

Don't you understand? Then you begin to list all your idiot friends that just have, their life is a dumpster fire. Then you'll say something like, all I want is just a little respect, right? But when you said this thing, it made me so mad. Did you ever say that? Have ever find yourself doing this? When she did this, when he did that, when they said that, when my boss would, it made me so mad. Nope.

Nobody can make you anything. We've talked about this during the Word sermon. Blame it on Jesus, man. I didn't make this up. Jesus says the only thing that can come out of you is what is in you. So if mad comes out, you got mad in there. That's what's going on. Now, people can ruffle you and people can bump up against you, no doubt, for sure.

But when you get shaken up and when you get frazzled and when it gets a little, the only thing that can come out of you is what is in here. And you are responsible for the way that you respond, regardless of the circumstances and regardless of the situation. And again, the thing that comes out of you should be like a, it's a warning like it. It's a check-engine light. When you go, ooh, it just slipped.

Or I didn't, if you find yourself going, well, I didn't mean to say that, it just slipped out. that's a big old like, uh-oh, uh-oh, the only thing that can slip out is what is in here. And what we learned last week is what is deep down in here is bitter jealousy and selfish ambition. Or sometimes it goes this way, allegedly, so I've been told. Remember we said the Bible says careless words stab like a sword, the wise words lead to healing? And you just feel like you're minding your own business and everything's going okay. and you say some words, and all of a sudden you can see offense.

You can see pain. You can see some, oh. And then they say, well, how dare you can't believe you would say that? And you go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no, no. Hold on, hold on, hold on. All I said was, and I think we are terrible interpreters of what we sound like to other people. You ever do it? You know what I'm saying?

They're like, well, you said, I didn't go, I went, like, real calm. Well, didn't feel like that to me, right? And so then, you know what we begin to do? It's most oftentimes what we do then is we don't take responsibility for the words that came out of our mouth. What we then begin to do is try to justify ourselves based on our intentions, not the effect of our words. And let me just tell you, men, women, please don't listen to this part, okay? Especially wives, just don't even listen, okay? But men, listen, let me tell you what we do that is terrible, okay?

is we come in, we're careless with our words, we offend, we're careless with our words, they stab like a sword, there is an offense, there's a scarring, there's a wounding there, and then when your wife is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that hurt, and you go, well, time out, time out, time out. That shouldn't hurt. That shouldn't hurt at all, because I didn't mean to hurt you,

and because I didn't mean to hurt you, it shouldn't hurting at all. And I talked to my friends that way, and Ted's never hurt. Never one time. Have we been, you know, he teased off and chunks one into the woods and be like, you're terrible and he's like, you don't believe,

so Ted doesn't feel that way. So why do you feel that way? And I've taken all the information, I mean, I was here during the conversation, I've taken all the information, and I have run it through my man husband grid, and what I have figured out is that you should not be offended. So not only are you wrong for being offended

because I didn't intend for it for you to be offended, you're also not feeling the wrong way, I mean, you're not feeling the right way. Aren't you so thankful to God that you have me in your life? to tell you how to receive my words rightly and how to feel rightly. Sounds like crazy talk, doesn't it? Because it is. Because it is.

You see, ultimately what's going on there, man, is that the reason that we fight and we quarrel is because we want something and we don't get it. That's it, man. So just imagine. Okay, imagine this for a second. This is crazy too. imagine that the next time you're fighting with somebody your boss your kids whatever it is but especially maybe with your spouse and imagine if right in the middle of it and you get like and you

said and she said and you you know some people get mad to get hysterical some people get historical you know what I'm talking about well of course you do this because you the alcoholic mama did you know you do whatever right okay I mean it's good right it's really like gloves are off okay so and can you imagine if right in the middle of it you went hey hey Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you know what the problem here is. The problem is James. And the reason that I'm upset, and the reason that we're having this fight is because I want something and I'm not getting it. You would sound like a three-year-old.

I feel like it would just suck all the air out of the room and be like, well, of course that's the problem because you're being like a three-year-old. We're throwing a tantrum because we want something and we don't get it. It sounds childish. Now, a legitimate question to ask is, what is it that you do want? Because there are legitimate desires. Like, I desire that my little girl be treated with respect. And if you treat her, if you disrespect her,

there will be a fight, there will be a quarrel. If you take that to the extreme, so will I, and I'll run 1122 from Columbia, no problem, okay, boys, I'll be right there with you. All right, you understand. So you cannot take this to a like abuse or toxic kind of environment. That's not what we're talking about here. But there are some legitimate desires like I want to be loved.

I want to be respected. I want intimacy with my spouse. I want you to call me when you're going to be late for work. I would like for you to clean up after yourself a little. And you know, some men are like, but my mom folded my clothes and put them away. Okay. Well, you didn't marry your mom, right? Okay.

And this is just a marriage hack, okay? You see, all desires are not bad, man. They're not. They're not at all. The problem is, is when we began to move desire onto somebody else, and we are looking for them to meet all of our desires, what started out is maybe a legitimate desire, like to eat hot food and to live indoors

and for your place to not smell terrible, these are all legitimate desires. But when you begin to be able, to place them on somebody else, very, very quickly, it moves from desire to demand. And when you have demands on other people, now this is particular in marriage. In work, it's a different thing because it is a contractual relationship, and you do negotiate the desires and the demands, no problem. This is why this is different in your home.

This is also true with your children, right? You're not going to fire them if they don't do what you tell them to do. But there's a difference between desires and demands. And the moment, a legitimate desire, like eating dinner together or call if you're going to be late for work or late coming home from work, those are legitimate. But the moment it moves from desire to demand, you have created a debt-debt-debtor relationship. And there is no space for genuine acts of service and unconditional love. For example, if I have a desire to eat dinner that doesn't come out of a microwave, wave when I get home. Is it legitimate to want to eat? Sure, okay. But if I begin to make that a demand,

like Gretchen, I expect it when I get home. When I do walk into the door, in the door, and I smell some of that gospel meat, bacon rat filet, fix medium rare to the glory of God, sitting on the plate, right? If it's a demand for me, then how much appreciation do I even have for this. You see, because we've created a debt-deater relationship, and the best the spouse can do when demands are laid upon them is the best you can do is just get to par. But if you keep it in that desire box and you don't have these kind of expectations, then when you walk in and there's dinner, then it is an act of service and there is space for us to serve one another and love one another and to demonstrate our love for each other. I hope you see that. That's the difference between

a desire and a demand. And then here's what happens, okay? In a good, healthy relationship, people that love one another openly share their desires with one another. Or you at least share the ones that your spouse can do something about. It doesn't do any good to share a desire

with your spouse that they can't help you with. Like if I said, you know what, baby, I would, you know, I'd really desire that, whatever, we eat dinner together three nights a week. And she was like, that's cool. You know what I desire? I always wanted to marry a guy that was six four. I'm gonna have to kill all you six four guys.

You gotta watch out, you know what I mean? So it doesn't do any good to share some kind of desires that the people that you're in a relationship with can't meet whatsoever. Because here's what happened, man. People that love one another make it a priority in their life to meet one another's desires. This is what we studied last week,

that we do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but we consider others as more important than ourselves. And we know this is not an expectation that we have to, but because I love you, I get to, and it brings me great joy to bring you great joy by trying to do some of these things. What causes fights and quarrels among you? That's the question. So what causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and you do not have. That's where we are. Then he goes, so you murder. We're like, wait, what? That seems a little extreme. Now, for some of you, it's like, you dang right. That's what I've been thinking about. All right, we don't believe in divorce,

but murder, maybe, all right? So, no, no. James is talking about what his brother Jesus talked about in the sermon on the mouth. James is talking about how serious anger is, an unresolved anger, and what it does on the inside of you. You see, Jesus in the sermon on the mountain,

Matthew chapter 5, he says this, You have heard that it was said to those of old, you shall not murder. But whoever murders will be liable to judgment. But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment. Whoever insults his brother will be liable to the counsel. And whoever says, you fool, will be liable to the hell of fire. I don't even know what hell of fire means, but I like the way that sounds. Not the fire of hell, but the hell of fire.

That seems worse. If you fool comes out of your mouth, then that's like killing somebody and being sentenced to the hell of fire. Anybody ever said something worse than you fool to somebody that you're supposed to be in a right relationship with? Yeah, James says, yeah, that's murder.

That's murder. I've told you the many examples in my life where I have failed many, many, many times. We could review them. Punch the steering wheel one time in my truck, the horn got stuck. That was just God just murdered, just reminding me. At the flag football field one time,

and our quarterback got trucked, and I screamed at the poor little ref who was like 19, going on nine years old, pitiful little kid, and I just screaming him, you had one job! And then somebody from the other team was like, hey, Pastor Jobie, and I murdered her in my heart. Okay?

I pretty much murder. Everybody going slow in front of me in the LF lane, they're all dead. What he's saying, he's piling on what Jesus said here. He's like, the problem is, it's not people are going slow and that they miss the call.

The problem is not this confrontation that you're having, and if they would just treat you like you deserve to be treated, then you would be walking in a shalom. No, no, no, no, no. The problem is these passions and desires deep down in here. And it's not even that you just want something, is you just want the whole world to revolve around you and what you want.

That's why you're mad when you go to the grocery store and you go to the 10 items or less aisle. It looks like 11. Two, three, four, that's 11. That's 11. And you begin to think in your mind, can this person not read or count? Which one is it? Right? And all of a sudden, all of a sudden, right, you're the public's policeman.

You're like, I can help this place out. I'll patrol this. Except, except when you're in a hurry, and you're in a hurry, You're getting that little six-pack of Diet Coke, of course, and you're like, no, that's just one. That's one situation. Yeah. See, it's deep, deep in here. And the problem is that bitter jealousy and that selfish ambition.

And so you murder. You know what else we do? You covet. You see all of last week's sermon. You covet. This bitter jealousy and selfish ambition plays itself out because you're not getting what you want. and it leads to confusion and every evil work. Then he keeps going.

See how personal James is? I know sometimes we get here and some of you're like, can't we just do some Old Testament stories, you know? He says you cannot obtain so you fight and quarrel. You see, here's the problem. Is it not only does it start within you because you have declared that you are the center of the universe and your kids and your wife and your boss and your employees

and the stock market, everything should revolve around. you and then what makes it worse is not only do we murder and we covet and we can't get what we're trying to get our hands around the reason is because you will never be able to solve the problem because you are the problem I am the problem we need a solution that is outside of us we need what the old dead period is we call an alien righteousness we need someone to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves And then he says, well, you don't have because you don't ask. You don't have because you don't ask.

In other words, you know what the solution? It starts with prayer. Are you praying about this? Like, of course I'm praying. Are you really? Well, let me ask you this. Are you bringing the same intensity to God in prayer that you brought to the fight in the quarrel? Ever find yourself doing that?

I mean, again, you're in there. You're having a good way. I can't believe you. and you always and I never and you and then you huff off and slam my door and you're like oh pastor said pray dear god please be with my spouse amen what i think he's like are you being serious right now i heard the whole fight bring it on boy he can take it have you read the psalms i mean david just writes some stuff that you would think oh you can say that not only can you say it but the Holy Spirit inspired it and preserved it so me and you would pray the way he prayed.

Those kind of prayer. Sometimes we don't ask God because we think we've got it under control and we don't have it under control. I mean, pray. And when you have these desires that are unmet, then the thing that we're supposed to do is take those desires and bring them to him and go, Lord, what do I do with these? I want to be loved. I want to be respected.

I want intimacy. I want these things. And he's like, right, you bring all of that to me. You cast all your cares upon me because I care for you. Do you know what the primary teaching on prayer is from Jesus in all four gospels? Pray and pray and keep on praying and knock and knock and keep on knocking and ask and ask and keep on asking. Seek and seek and keep on seeking. Just come on.

Keep asking, keep asking. Ask me again. Ask me again. Whenever there's a gap in your life, just bring it to you. to me. Ask me again. I've told you this before. But think about how different it is when the father says, ask me again. In my house, if the words ask me again, come out of my mouth, somebody's in trouble. It's not like, oh, would you ask that again? No, it's like, ask me again. That's how that goes, okay? And he's saying, the reason you don't have is because you don't

ask. And here's what this means. Instead of trying to manipulate people to get what you want, try asking God with that same kind of intensity. Because what we're doing is then we're surrendering. We're giving it up, and we're not placing all of that pressure to get what we want from these people that God has placed in our lives. And he goes on to say, you ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly to spend it on your passions. This is the difference between praying for someone and praying about someone. Many, many, many times we pray about people and not for them. You want to change your heart towards somebody. you actually begin to pray for somebody.

It is virtually impossible for your heart not to be changed towards someone else that you were going to the throne of the king on their behalf. And again, not about them. God, would you just change my lazy husband, get up off his butt and go make some money for me? I mean, that's one way to pray. It's called wrong.

Yeah, man. You see, when you pray this way, what you're trying to do is actually use God as a means to your own. in and he will never fuel and fund your idolatry with you in the middle of it. And so when you go to him in prayer, a legit question is say, is this verbalized, God, this is what I want. This is what I want.

I mean, I want something and I'm not getting it. And this is what I want. And sometimes you can realize the Spirit of God is going to go, yeah, that's dumb. Yeah, that's dumb. Listen to yourself. Say it out loud. That is dumb. And he's a good dad.

He gives good gifts to his kid. He's not going to give you dumb stuff. He's not going to give you a thing that would be a wedge between you and him. And sometimes it's not a dumb thing. It's a legitimate desire. And yet he's going to say no in this instance for your own good. And listen, and I know sometimes he's like, well, why would he do that? He's the author of the universe.

He's still got the whole world in his hands. He spoke into existence every star in galaxy that exists, even the ones we haven't found yet, and he knows them all by name. He can handle our little life. And he knows better than we do every single time. That doesn't mean don't ask. I can remember when I was a little kid, I was like first grade.

And for Christmas, all I asked for, all I asked for, all I asked for, I asked for a horse and a rifle. We lived in downtown Dillon, okay, near the light. And so all I want is a horse and a rifle, a horse and a rifle, a horse and a rifle. And my mom and daddy, essentially, through their action, said, we love you. And you know what I got?

A BB gun and a puppy. For my own good. So sometimes God says yes, and sometimes he says no, and sometimes he says not exactly, but we keep bringing it to him. Until we get to the place where, like Jesus, in the Garden of Gassimini, he comes before his father.

He's about to go to the cross. He's got a pretty legit desire. His desire is not to get crucified. To not have the sin of the world placed upon him. And he says, Father, if there be any other way, let this cup pass from me. And then you know what the Bible says? He goes back to his disciples who he asked to pray with him and they were asleep. He's like, come on boys, wake up.

Can you help me pray? He goes back again. And he goes back again three separate times. He goes back to his father with the same request. You know what? his resolve was eventually, not my will, but your will be done. Have you prayed it to that point? God, not my will, but your will be done.

And then ultimately, ultimately, the place that will resolve our conflicts and resolve our corals is this, is when we learn that he and he alone is the one that meets our deepest desires and needs. You see, that's the problem. When we begin to put our deepest desires and needs, on other people, then they become our functional savior, and they cannot bear the weight of that kind of cross, it will crush them. And trust me on this one, man.

Whoever you idolize, when they let you down, you will demonize them. And in parentheses, in your notes right there, put my name. Because some of you have me lifted up way too high in your own personal evaluation of me. and when I prove to you that I too am a sinner in need of a Savior and the cross outed me too then one day you'll throw darts at me too because I let you down do you realize man when you put the weight of the world on some other human being on your children on your spouse on your boss on your company on your friends to meet all of your deepest needs and desires they can't do it and the reason they can't do it is because the desires that

we have are infinite and insatiable have you ever walk you ever walk him up one day and be like, I have had enough love. I mean, I am all set. It's crazy, isn't it? Like, like that need to be loved. It's like Thanksgiving dinner, man. You sit at the Thanksgiving table. I mean, I'm at the point where I just wear like stretchy Lulu pants. Thank God Lulu started making boy pants because you can just show up that thing. And it's just going to go and grow with you. You know what I'm saying? You just eat and eat and eat and just, ah, and you're so full. you're like, I cannot. I'm just, whew, I'm going to die.

That trip to fans about to kick in. You about to have a Thanksgiving coma. And they're like, peanut butter pie, well, of course, because my children have taught me there's another level. It's different. There's like a, there's like a byway, and it goes to us. We have cow stomachs or something. I don't know.

That's what they told me. So you eat that and you're about to, you're just like, I mean, you're just sweating out your eyelids. You know what I'm talking about? Gosh. Just full of guilt and shame, and what have I done? I've done it again, but it's for the pilgrims. So praise God you gotta do it.

And you begin to think, I ain't eating until Christmas. I'm just, I'm done, honey, I'm done, I ain't eating until Christmas, right? And then what happens, man, you doze off with the best nap of all time, full of gratitude, wake up by halfway through their Detroit game, you're like, anybody want a turkey sandwich, you right back into it? Because the craziest thing is, is man, see, we're created as image bearers of God. He's infinite and he's infinite. and he's eternal.

And the gas tank that runs our soul is him and him alone. This is why, like, you can fill up your appetites. Fill them up and fill them up and fill them up until you're about to bust, and it actually does not, it doesn't fill your appetite. It actually grows your appetite. I mean, the more you eat, the more you've got to eat.

You've never woken up and be like, I'm all set on love. I mean, we did it. We did it. Right, you wake up that next day and you still have these deep desires, And if and when you begin to place them on the people around you, they are not infinite, they are not all powerful, and they cannot, they do not have the ability to give you what you think you won't deserve and need. Christ and Christ alone is the one that does that for us. So listen, man, you want some stuff?

So, 1 John says this, that we're not to love the world or the things of this world. but the only thing that this world has to offer us is the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life. That's it. The lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life. And if you begin to think about

with the things that you want, I have a hard time thinking of anything that does not fall into one of those categories. Listen, man, so you want a bigger house, you want some more stuff, you want to redo your kitchen? Okay, that's fine. but the moment that begins to be so important

and you begin to use the people around you to try to get those material things, you are going to be so disappointed. And the moment you begin to realize that when you put your hopes in Jesus, when you put your desires towards him, that not only one day when we go to heaven, man, you want some stuff, we're going to get some stuff.

Like mansions and how about this, man? How about you want to redo your driveway? in heaven, gold is so accessible, they pave roads with it. Ever think about that? Banqueting tables, that kind of thing. Co-air with everything exists if you're in Christ. And it's not just one day when you get there in the sweet by and by, you get to experience that, that in Christ Jesus,

that he promises us that if we'll lean into him, Paul says that he has learned the secret of being content in any and every situation. That's better in a kitchen. You know why? Because that means if you can't get your kitchen, you've learned to be content. And if you get your kitchen, you've learned to be content. Either way.

You see, because he and he alone is the one that meets that desire. Or the lust of the flesh, that means you want to feel a certain way, and it could be sex and intimacy, or it could be food or drugs, whatever it is. Like you have this desire to feel a certain way, to feel loved. Do you realize that when you put your faith in Jesus Christ, you've never been more loved? Because to be fully loved is to be fully known. Think about this. He knows every single detail about you now, you in the past, and even all the details about you that's going to let everybody else down.

He knows every single one of those, and yet he still is willing to go to the cross on your behalf for His glory and say, it is finished. There's not a pill that can do that. There's not a vacation that can do that. There's not a meal that can do that. It just can't. Or maybe the thing you want is status, like you want to be respected. You want people to know how valuable you are.

Do you realize that if you're in Christ, you're the son of the most high king? I mean, how silly is it? You see, as Lewis says, our problem is not that we want too much. Our problem is that we are satisfied with too little. And we were like a bunch of kids playing around in the mud puddle

while our dad wants to take us on a vacation to the ocean. I mean, we're over here fighting about who gets a blue check and who gets likes and who gets to be the assistant to the general manager. And meanwhile, the king of glory has invited us not just into his army, but into his family. And he calls us sons. He calls us daughters. What kind of status are we looking for? Now, Jesus is going to say back in Matthew chapter 5, I won't read it, I'll just reference it.

After he says, hey, you've heard it said, don't murder. And I'm saying to you, when you got anger in here, it's like murder. He goes on to say, hey, If you're at church and you get to the end of the service where they respond and sing, bring and pray, and you've got that bring part all lined up because you're like, I'm going to bring an offering because I know you're gonna hook me up this week

if I bring that offering. But you've heard a whole sermon on quarrels and fights and you look around and you think, uh-oh, I got some work to do. Now, listen, this is not a word-for-word quotation, okay? This is like message the remix. Okay, so he says, why don't you lay that offering now? for a minute and go get right with that person.

Because here's the thing, man. If you're honest, I know this is church, there's no place for that. But if you're honest about this, there have been some fights and quarrels and the reason is not because my wife, it's not because of my boss, it's not because of my kid, it's because of me.

And Jesus commands us that we would be reconciled to one another. Now there's a difference between reconciliation and forgiveness, okay? forgiveness is unilateral and every single one of us are commanded to forgive no matter what. Reconciliation takes two and it requires forgiveness and repentance. And every relationship should not be reconciled. There are some unsafe places you should never go there again.

There are some people that you got to avoid from now and you pray they go to heaven and you'll be all reconciled in heaven. Okay? And so I wish I had time to unpack it, but I don't. but I preached a whole sermon about 100 times on what it means to forgive. And so I wanna encourage you, especially if you're like varsity, if you're hardcore, or if there's anybody you need to forgive,

I want you to go to COE22.com slash forgive. And we have created that, whatever address, because this is one of the most requested things I get all the time. This person has done something against me. How do I forgive him? I want you to watch that sermon. It's like 55 minutes long, like a normal sermon, okay?

And Jesus commands us to forgive, and the reason that he tells us to forgive is not because the person deserves to be forgiven. He sets the whole thing up and he says, listen, forgiveness is not a feeling. Forgiveness is a debt-deater relationship. Somebody owes you something. They have done you wrong.

And forgiveness is simply this, choosing to cancel the debt. So if you open up your app and you go to our action step for this week, what you were going to find there is a thing called the debt ledger. is what Jesus talks about in Matthew chapter 18. You should write out a debt ledger.

Who's done me wrong? What do they owe me? What kind of feelings are associated with what they've done? And then in that moment, you have this document. This is what you have done. Now, the question is, what are you going to do with that debt ledger? Most of the times, the reason that Christians aren't able to actually forgive people is because they skip over this park.

They try to go, well, you know, I know, I know they're, sinned against me, but it wasn't that big a deal. Hold on. It was such a big deal that Jesus Christ had to die on the cross and shed his blood for it to be forgiven. Don't minimize Christ on the cross on what people have done against you, okay? But then the question comes down simply to this, am I going to cancel the debt? And in Matthew 18, what you'll find is the only reason that compels you to do it is because Christ has canceled your debt. The story he tells as a servant gets canceled a bunch of debt, and then he goes out and finds somebody that owes him a wee little bit of debt. And even though he had been canceled this huge debt, he will not cancel the debt of somebody that owes him a little bit.

And it doesn't make sense to anybody. And the point there is, listen, man, when you have fights and quarrels and you were the problem, you got to go to people and say, will you forgive me? When you have fights and corals and somebody has sinned against you, according to Matthew Chapter 5, you need to forgive those people. Why? There's only one reason. It's not because it's going to make life smoother. It's not because you're the better person.

It's simply this. Because at the cross of Jesus Christ, he canceled your dead. In fact, if you go to the very end, the very end of the book of James, here's how James concludes it. He says, my brothers, if anyone among you wonders from the truth and someone brings him back.

In other words, if someone wonders, away and you help reconcile them back to God. Let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wondering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins. To which I say, when I see that word wonder, are we not all prone to wonder? Lord, I feel it prone to leave the God we love. And you know who these verses describe best? Jesus.

That's exactly what he did on our behalf. You know what causes fights and quarrels between you and Jesus? You want something and you don't get it. And you know what you want? You want to be Lord of your life. You want to be king of your universe. And if Jesus were to write a debt ledger thinking of you, about how many times you had broken a promise to him,

about how many times you knew better and did it anyway, about how many times you used his name in vain, about how many times you said one thing with your mouth, and acted a different way. Imagine the debt ledger that Jesus Christ would have on you. I can tell you, mine would be a scroll that would go from here to our Fleming campus and back. And he had a decision to make

on what he was going to do with the debt ledger on me, on what I owed him. Now, because he is just, all sin must be paid for. because of his mercy he did not exact that payment the very first time I sinned against him but because of his grace do you know what he did he dressed himself in humanity he lived a perfect life he went to the cross he pushed up on his nail pierced feet and he said it is finished what is finished he has cancelled the debt of my sin it was fully and finally paid at the cross that when I was one of my first that when I was wandering away and I was wondering toward a Christless eternity in hell.

And he came on a rescue mission for a sinner like me and he saved me and he forgave me. And because he did that for me, his forgiveness should flow through me to the people that are in my life. You see, the reason that you fight is because you don't get what you want. And the real problem is the things that you really want can only be found in Jesus Christ. So we've got a bunch of people signed up right now to declare that they have come to the place personally in their own life where they know that they know. They believe that somehow when Jesus Christ died on the cross

pushed up on his nail pierced feet and says it is finished that somehow it counted for them. Let me ask you, have you ever believed that it counted for you? Have you ever believed personally? Have you ever believed? Have you ever trusted that when Jesus Christ died on the cross, that somehow it counted for you. And that your sins are forgiven,

that you have been forgiven, and that you could be in a right relationship with the Almighty God, not based on anything that you have done, but based on his finished work on the cross. If so, I'm going to invite you to put your faith in Jesus right now. And then in just a second, to get up from where you are,

and come down forward and tell the world that Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior. What we are all going to witness as a church is a whole bunch of people at all of our locations, and they are going to be declaring that their sins have been forgiven, their debt has been paid, and now, and now, everything is going to be different in their life. Not perfect, not perfect, but they are going to be progressively sanctified by God.

They're going to walk in this water, and one of our folks here is going to ask them this question, who is Jesus Christ to you? And they are going to profess with their mouth, Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. And then whoever's doing the dunking is going to say, some version of upon your public profession of Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, I baptize you my Christian brother and sister in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,

because that's how he told us to do it. And the reason when we dunk them in this water, and we're not like shooting them with water guns, is because the word baptizo in Greek means to dip dunk or submerge. And there's going to be some dunking. And it represents that you are dying to yourself. Your sins are washed away by the blood of Jesus. And when they come up out of that water, it is symbolizing that just as Christ has been raised from the dead, these forms.

folks that are declaring Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior are being resurrected to a brand new life in him. The old is gone and a new creation comes up by the water. And your job, okay, your job, the church's job, is to join with the angels in heaven and lose your eternal mind over every single one that was lost and now is found, every single one who is dead and now is of life, every single one of your brothers and sisters who have been welcomed into the family of God. And if that's you, whether you're planned on or not, some of you didn't plan on it at all. Some of you're here because she said she won't go out with you unless you come to church

with her and here you are. That's fine. That's fine. And yet God has walked you down tonight and you know, you hear him. You hear him calling your name right now. And you say like, hear him? No, no, no, no, way louder than you can hear with the ear. You hear all kind of weird stuff for the ears.

I'm talking about deep down at that soul level. You hear the Spirit of God, the Father, beckoning you through the blood of His Son, Jesus Christ. And if the Spirit is talking to you, you know exactly who I'm talking about. So I'm going to give you a chance right now to surrender your life to Jesus. And then when I say, amen, we're going to respond. We're going to us all sing. A whole bunch of people will get it dumped, and we're going to have a party in this place.

Would you bow your heads? Would you close your eyes? And if you're ready, if you know that through the life, death, and resurrection and promised return of Christ, that somehow, somehow, when Jesus died on the cross, that canceled your debt. And today you are ready to call on his name as your Lord and Savior, then I want you to lift your hand right where you are and say, Jesus, you are my Lord. Amen and amen and amen and amen.

Our good and gracious Heavenly Father, God, we love you. We thank you for their salvation in your house. God, we thank you that you came on that rescue mission. God, would you fill us up with your spirit of joy that we could rightly celebrate these hundreds of people that are going to profess Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior? God, we be joined with the angels in a heavenly celebration. The people who were once blind and now see, they were lost, they're now found, they were dead, and now they are alive in Christ.

God, we love you. And, God, may we be able to love one another because of your love towards us. God, may we be able to offer forgiveness because of your forgiveness towards us. God, may we constantly be able to put you at the center of our life so we're not so let down when we don't get what we want because we know that everything we want to need is found in you and you alone. We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen. So, church, would you please stand?

If you're getting dunk, you come on. If you want to get dunk, come on. People will grab you in line and explain all that you need to know. if you don't have clothes, we got shirts for you and that kind of stuff. And then we're going to sing and we're going to celebrate. Let's go.