The Church of Eleven22 - Week 8: Tame the Tongue

Episode Date: July 30, 2023

Out of the overflow of the mouth, the heart speaks. Does your mouth reveal that you need heart surgery?

Amen, amen, amen. Church, if you got your Bible, it's going to be in James. Chapter 3 is where we're going to be most of the time. We're talking about words and the power of words. So this sermon only applies to you if you have a mouth, if you have a tongue. Even if you can't use that good and use sign language, whatever you do to communicate, this is who this sermon is for. And James is really continuing what he started in chapter 1 when he's saying that if you really have been impacted,

by the gospel, then there's parts of your lives that are going to change. That we should be doers of the Word and not hears only, and so deceive ourselves. And so one of the things he's going to get to are the things that come out of our mouth. And you may wonder, why does it matter so much, and why is it so difficult to control our tongue? Well, it matters so much because we are image bearers of our creator. And in the beginning, God, when he wanted to make everything that is, he didn't use his hands, He didn't just think it into existence. The Bible says that he spoke creation into existence.

That words matter. Words create worlds. That's what it does. And in essence, a part of your world has been created by the words that are spoken over you. And as an image bearer of God, now you don't want to take this too far. There are some heretics that go to this like name and inclaimment thing. That's not what we're talking about. But as image bears of God, as co-creators with God, God has given us power in our words.

there are things that do not exist and then you say them you speak truths you speak blessings over people's life and things come into existence that would not have been in existence if you didn't have the power of your words speaking into their lives that's how powerful this is not only in the beginning that god speak but the gospel of john starts out this way in the beginning was the word the logos and the word was god and the word was with god and the word became flesh and dwelt among us words matter i mean you You think about the power of words, the creative power of words in our world. With words, Hitler split this world.

And then with words, Churchill defeated him. If you've ever said the words, I do. Those words didn't just mean something. They did something. You entered into a covenant with another person in the presence of God, and something changed with the power of a word. Words matter like crazy. And here's something to pay attention to.

whatever God creates, Satan counterfeits. Whatever God creates, Satan counterfeits. And so Satan knows that our words have power because we're image-bearers of God. And one of the enemy's chief schemes is to poison our hearts so that that poison will come out of our mouth so that we will poison those that are closest to us. You see, the people that we should be blessing, we can poison with our very much. very words. And when we do that, the enemy wins. Now, James doesn't only talk about it in chapter three. That's where he spends the majority of the time. But in chapter one, he says this in 126. He says, if anyone thinks he is religious, and remember, he was talking about like the good kind of religious.

Like a walking with Jesus, having a relationship with Jesus. If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless, It's worthless. Later, he's going to use a similar illustration. This word bridal, what we think about is like, is controlling a horse. Now, this doesn't mean that you shut down your tongue, that you shut down your mouth. It's like handing over the reins to another master. The Greek word for this is meek.

It's power under perfect control. And the reason is because the unbridled tongue taints your entire life. I mean, what a phrase. A person's religion is worthless with the uncontrolled or unbridled tongue. Do you know what that means? You could be walking with Jesus and living from Jesus and praying like crazy and read your Bible. And you could do all of these things. And yet, you could ruin your entire testimony with a word, with what comes out of your mouth.

Some of you're thinking, I know a guy. Not only does it cover it in chapter one, he also covers it in chapter four. Verse 11, he says, do not speak evil against one another, brothers. Consider this. Have you ever considered that public criticism of other believers could go into the evil category? The Greek word here for evil is social media. I don't know if you've seen that. I still, I don't understand the category of believers that think criticism of everybody else's ministry publicly is somehow a ministry.

James would say, you better watch your mouth. He goes on to say, the one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you were not a doer of the law, but a judge. And here he goes, verse 12, there is only one lawgiver and judge. And might I add, it ain't you. That's what he's saying. He who is able to save and destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

The answer is nobody. You see, when you stand in judgment with your words against a brother or sister in Christ, essentially what you're saying is, I don't trust God to do his job, so let me help you out a little bit. Now, Matthew 18 gets very clear instructions on what to do. In Matthew chapter 18, Jesus is talking on forgiveness, and he says this. He says, if your brother sins against you, go talk to him. Now, there's a lot of conditions there. First and foremost, the question you have to ask is this person a brother or a sister?

In other words, is this person a believer in Jesus? If they're not a believer in Jesus, you don't have a reconciliation conversation, you have an evangelism conversation. Because they haven't sinned against you. Ultimately, they've sin against the Lord, and they need to be right with the Lord, first and foremost. So first is, are they a brother? The second question you have to ask is, is it sin? Or did it just get on your nerves? Those are not the same things.

Your preferences and the precepts of God are not the same thing. I know you want them to be, but they're not the same thing. Is this actually a sin? And then thirdly, is it against you? And then if it is, this single imperative from the scriptures would change everything about us as followers of Jesus. Jesus would say, if that's the case, talk to them and not about them. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine how every relationship we have will be changed if we talk to people and not about them?

Now, you can't cover it up in a prayer request either. that's okay. We just need to pray for Tammy. She is just ruining her life. You know, you can't do that, man. All right. Now, he's really going to unpack it in chapter three. The only reason I wanted to show you one and four is so that you can see from the beginning of the letter to almost the end, James apparently is saying this is a really, really, really, really big deal. Chapter three, verse one, he says this. Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers. For you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. Well, there's a warning.

I really wish this wasn't in the Bible. This is talking about if you teach like I teach. If you teach the Bible, there's going to be a greater strictness by which you will be judged. Anybody want to change jobs real quick? For we all stumble in many ways. There's an amen. That's what you should say, amen. For we all, every single one of us stumble in many ways.

he says this, it's hyperbole, really. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man able also to bridle his whole body. He's like, if you can control this little thing attached to the front of your face, then your whole life will go right. That's what he's saying. The person that every single time perfectly speaks

is the perfect person. Now here's why this is hyperbole. Because so far in human history, there's only one person that's been able to pull it off. He currently is sitting at the right hand of God, the Father, interceding for you and I. But he is the only one that's ever been able to nail this. Anybody else nailing this? Has anybody ever had to at least one time go, probably shouldn't have said that? Apologized for the things that you said.

And honestly, and we all try to justify him, like, oh, well, I was just tired. I didn't get enough sleep. It's actually your fault because you made me say it because I was mad. You know, whatever. So I'm going to admit, I've had many, many comments when I taught on anger and said that I am not qualified to teach on anger because it's a struggle in my life. The primary way the anger in my life comes out to everybody else in my world is through today's sermon.

So I'm not quite, I don't have a black belt on this one either. I've had to apologize to about 75 people today before I could even teach the sermon. So I am for sure a work in progress on this thing. Verse three, he's going to give three examples, back to back to back. He says, if we put bits into the mouths of horses so they may obey us, we got their whole bodies as well. It is pretty crazy, isn't it? Okay. If you ever, you ever ridden a well-trained horse?

Isn't it amazing? That's one thing you feel like a big old tough cowboy or whatever. But this last summer, yeah, last summer. me and a bunch of our friends from here. We went to Utah, we did this horseback riding thing. It was awesome, man, riding in the mountain saw a moose. It was cool. And at one point, I'm riding around, and I look over my shoulder,

and my little girl, Reagan Capri, at that point, she'd probably soaking wet with a brick in her pocket weighed 85 pounds. You know what I mean? Sitting on an 800-pound horse. And yet, because the bit was in that horse's mouth, and she had the reins, and it was a well-trained horse that had submitted its rulership to whoever the master was, then my little girl, my little 80-pound girl,

could just with the slightest little tug this way or that way, control this powerful horse that could stomp all of us to death if it wanted to. This is, here's what he's saying, man. That bit's little, that horse is huge, and that little tiny bit makes a huge difference in that big old horse. Example one. Example two, look at the ships also. though they are so large and are driven by strong winds,

they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. Your tongue is one of the smallest muscles in your whole body. It's actually made up with eight different muscles. And here's what's crazy. It never gets tired. Amen, husbands? It never gets tired.

See, stuff like that's going to get me killed. That's the careless word that we're going to talk about later that I've got to be accountable for. I mean, if I ran a mile, I'd die. By the way, I've told you before, if you ever seen me run and call the police, something's going horribly wrong. I don't run because I'm a grown man. But you can run, and everybody's got a limit on how far you could run before you would run out of energy, right? But you can run your mouth all day long, and it's never like, hey, I got to stop. No, you don't do that.

And even though it's one of the smallest muscles in the whole body, just eight different muscles that come. together to make your tongue, it can change your entire life for good or bad. Think about this. I've been in ministry for 30 years, 30 years. 30 years I've been doing this. And it's going real good, okay? As far as you can measure things, the ministry that I'm a part of is going really, really, really good. And do you realize I could ruin the entire thing? 30 years of credibility, 30 years of integrity, 30 years of serving the church faithfully, I could ruin it all right now with just a few words. I could just decide to unbridle my tongue and just say things. And then next week, I wouldn't be here. The elders would come up and be like,

y'all remember, Pastor Jobby. That's how it would go, okay? So what he's saying, man, tiny little tongue can just say a thing and ruin your life, especially these days, by the way, with the cancel culture where people are just walking around, just hoping you, will say something. Even you don't actually say it, but they think what you said and meant what they think would be bad in their mind, then they will cancel you. By the way, I do want you to know this whole cancel culture

has no place with the gospel. The gospel doesn't cancel, man. Here's what the gospel does. The gospel doesn't do cancel. The gospel does repentance, forgiveness, reconciliation. That's what the gospel does, right? Yeah, the gospel cancels. It just cancels sin when we trust Jesus.

and restores and redeems people. And I don't know if you realize this, but the cross has outed every single one of us. If the standard was perfection, all of us would get canceled. But instead, God did not send his son to cancel us. God sent his son to die on the cross that our sin would be canceled,

that we would be reconciled unto him. And then you and I are supposed to be ministers and ambassadors of reconciliation. But with that in mind, the illustrations he's giving here, here's the point of it, okay, that your life will go, in the direction of your words. That this little muscle in the front of your head,

wherever it steers, that is the direction of your life. You want a negative life? Just keep using negative talk all the time. You want to bless life, then begin to speak blessings. And it's not only, here's the crazy thing about the way God has wired our words, and it's not just for ourselves, but it's especially true for those around us. Then he gives the third illustration. So the first one was a horse, the second was a ship, the third one is the woods.

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire. Like one little spark can burn down all the woods. Just like one misplaced word can set the world on fire. And here's the thing about a fire. Here's the thing about a forest fire. The fire is indiscriminate. It just burns down whatever is in its path. And then he goes on to say this, and the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness.

The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. You realize one day we will stand before the Lord, and there will be some hell that other people walk through, and the reason that they were walking through that hell is because the enemy got a hold of our tongue, and we were an agent in his hands. Think about that. That's what he's saying. That with our words, we could burn down everything important in our life, man. You could burn down you, you could burn down your family, you could burn down your community, you could burn down your business.

That oftentimes the enemy will use your words to burn you down. That's how tricky he is. Listen, man, if you don't think he's tricky, think about this. He convinced a third of the angels to leave heaven and come with him. You got to pay attention to the way you talk to you. You ever talk to you? nobody talks to you more than you. You ever catch yourself talking to you?

What are you saying to you? You're the most influential person in your life. I need you to know that. And the words that you say about you have all kind of power over you. This matters a lot. And I'm not talking about some weird, you know, self-help look in the mirror and be like,

you're good enough, you're smart enough, doggone it, people like you. That's not what I'm talking about, man. But you need to pay attention. Here's why the words that you say to you matter a lot. Because if you're not careful, if you're speaking negatively over you, and what I mean by negative, I'm not just talking about you got this, I'm talking about if you were speaking words that are aligned with the ethos of this world instead of the truth of God's word,

you're going to be in trouble. You're going to be in trouble because this is the truth. Your feelings will betray you. Nothing wrong with feelings. Feelings are a tool to help us navigate life. They'll just lie to you all the time. But the truth of God's word, what we have to do is we've got to with our mouths out loud, say Bible verses, align our minds and our hearts with the truth of God's word, and then over time, not overnight, then maybe your feelings will get in line with what's true, with what God has said about you. Let me think about it. When the enemy shows up to tempt Jesus and lies to him three different times, what was Jesus' response?

He didn't say I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me. And he could say that rightly. No, no, no, no. Every single time he said, it is written. Even the Son of God is aligning his experience here on the planet with the truth of God's words. You've got to pay attention to what you say about yourself because here's the thing, man, you begin to say it. And if you're not careful, your own ears will hear it and your brain will believe it. Then your heart will feel it.

And you'll think it's true. And that's actually a lie. Gretchen and I have fought over this so many times. And here's why. She's not here to defend herself, so it makes it easier to talk about. So don't tell her. I'm telling you this. she's gotten a little better over the years but especially when we first got married man

I would catch her saying awful things about herself I mean listen man my wife is very pretty and I'm not just saying that because every pastor has to say it like she's really really pretty she's a very very pretty person and she works out and all the things she's in good shape and all of that and yet she would see a reflection back in the mirror of herself and not like the things that she saw and then she would begin to say things about it which is unbelievable because a dude doesn't really do that. You know that? A guy catches a glimpse of himself in a reflection on a hubcap,

and he's like, yep, still got it, all right? I mean, just looks horrible. I've never met the female that's like, yeah, I love the way I look. I'm fearfully wondering for the man, okay? But, and then I remember one time she was like, I'm just so this or my hair, my, you know what I mean? It's so it's like, well, if I do like this right here, there's a line. Like, what are you talking about?

And so I've heard a call her like talking junk, and I was like, hey, lady, in my house. Hey, lady. She's like, what? I go, nobody talks to my wife that way. She looks to me like I'm a crazy person. I'm like, I'm just telling you, in my house, nobody talks to my wife that way. She's like, it's me.

I don't care, including you. You don't even get to talk to my wife that way. Shut your mouth. Okay, now. What we're trying to do there is I want to allow, everything spoken over us in my house. I want it to align with the Word of God. And what she's saying was alive from the pit of hell. So pay attention to the way you talk to you, because you could burn you down with your own words.

Pay attention to the way you talk to your family, and especially you, Dad. Listen, man, this ain't fair, but I didn't make up the way the world works. Dad's words weigh a million pounds. They just do. And you could burn your whole family down. And you could raise them in church. You could do Bible studies and devotion. You could do family mission trips all the time.

And the words that come out of your mouth will either build up or break down. They will either bless or curse. They will either give life or they will suck all of the life out of your house. In your business, you could tear that thing down. You could have all the best practices and all the strategy and the five-year plan. And in five minutes, I could walk around your office and tell if it's going to be successful or not. Just by the words that are floating around in that place. Your community.

So my question is, are you blessing or are you cursing? I mean, you can set it on fire like with the Spirit of God, or you could set it on the fire of hell, and these things will be torn down. And here's what it means to curse, man, things like gossip and slander and complaining and backbiting and negative talk and hopelessness and being ungrateful. These are the kinds of things that James is talking about. And he's saying, pay attention, take control. Even though you will never be able to be in control of these things, a fruit of the Spirit is self-examined. control. He goes on to say, he's going to give a circus example now, for every kind of beast and bird of reptile and sea creature can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no human being can tame the

tongue. In other words, we need help. It is a restless evil full of deadly poison. If you had a little jar of poison when no top on it in your house, you would be very careful with it. James is like, You do. It's just in your face. Be very careful with it. We've tamed all kind of animals that you never imagine that you could tame. I mean, I've seen lions bound down at the feet of a hundred pound woman. I've seen elephants get on their feet and beg like a little dog.

I've seen eagles lay down food in front of the master. I've seen a bear ride a bicycle. I've swam with dolphins, and they shoot you around the water. I've seen a bulldog whip a gator and a tiger and an elephant all in one year. And yet, I've never seen a human that could completely tame the tongue. So if anybody's ever told you, God will never give you more than you can handle, you should see James chapter three. Because he's like, Exhibit A.

Yeah, we need someone to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. The solution to this is not get out of here and just hunker down and try harder. verse 9 he says with it with our tongue we bless our Lord and Father and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God how do you think God feels about that that in the same day you go there's nothing there's nothing there's nothing better than you and then look at an image bearer of God and be like you idiot how would you feel if somebody blessed you oh you're the best and cursed your kids you'd say I don't think we're going to be friends, right? I mean, parents, don't you love and appreciate most like the teachers, the

coaches, the youth group leaders that are four to your kids, that speak life into your kids? I mean, that's who you love the most, right? Almost regardless of how they treat you. Well, God's like, hey, man, how do you think that lands on me when you come in and sing all the songs and wag your tongue about blessing me and then go out and curse the ones that I gave the blood of my son for. He says, from the same mouth comes blessing and cursing, my brothers, these things ought not to be so. But can we be honest for a second? I mean, I know this is church. This is no place to be honest, but it's just therapy for me, all right? But it's so, is it not? Isn't it so? How many times have you promised I'm never, I'm never going to talk like that again?

I'm not going to lose my temper. I'm not going to say these words. I'm not right. And then you do it again. Anybody ever been there with me? Confession time? Praise the Lord, okay? The rest of you are liars, so welcome. Can I tell you you're in really good company? You're in really, really good company. When the Apostle Paul is writing his letter to the church in Rome, for the first six chapters, all he does is lay out the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

And he says that the gospel is the power, the power. It's not just like a self-help. you've got to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. But it's the gospel that has the power to save and to change the life. For six chapters, he lays out the gospel. And then when he gets to the seventh chapter, he's like, but there's just one problem. And the problem is me.

And can we agree that the Apostle Paul, while carried along by the Holy Spirit, writing Romans chapter 7 is a Christian? Can we agree? He is. And he's like, there's just one problem. There's these things I don't want to do. I keep on doing them. There's these things I don't want to say.

They keep coming out of my mouth. There's these things I want to do, and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to pull them off. And the conclusion that he gets to at the end of Romans chapter 7 is this, what a wretched man am I? Who would save a wretch like me? And then thank God, he gives the answer to his own question. He says, praise our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

And then you get to Romans chapter 8, verse 1. Therefore now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. You see, our words, not only did they reveal what a wretch we are, they reveal what a savior we need, amen. Jesus talks about our words. Fundamentally, what Jesus says about our words are this, man. Words are just a light on the dashboard. Words aren't the problem. Words reveal that you've got a problem, and the problem is deep down here in the heart.

Jesus is going to say, out of an overflow of the heart, the mouth spree. speaks. That's what he says. Matthew chapter 12, here it comes in context. He says this. Matthew 1233, either make the tree good and its fruit good or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers. How can you speak good when you are evil? And he says, for out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. In other words, Jesus is saying the only thing that can come out of you is what's in you. I always use this illustration. This is a water bottle. There's water in here. If I take the top off and shake it, what comes out? Water. Somebody's always like, is it Jesus?

No, it's water. Because water's in here. So when you're around some people, and anger comes out, here's what we do. Here's what we love to do, man. Not only do we cut people with our words, not only do we sin against people with our words, not only do we burn down relationships with our words, then we try to use our words to defend the evil that we have just enacted upon other people. And we'll say things. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's not my fault, man. It's not my fault. You made me angry.

You did this to me. Well, Jesus would say, no, no, no, no. You don't have a potty mouth. You've got a potty heart. My grandma said that. But that's what he's saying. The only thing that can come out of you is what's in you. But how good is God that you don't have to guess what's in here?

if jealousy, of insecurity, if anger, if a lack of contentment constantly comes out of your mouth, it is because that is what is in your heart. And you might not, it's not, you don't have a mouth issue, man, you've got a heart issue. He said the good person out of his good treasure brings forth good and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you, on the day of judgment, you ready for this? people will give account for every careless word they speak. And I checked in the original Greek, this includes tweet, text, DM, Instagram pictures that have a thousand words.

It includes them all, man. Every word. You and I will be held accountable for every careless word they speak. Does that make you nervous? if it doesn't make you nervous you should wake up and then here's some like really scary and really great news back to back for by your words you will be justified and by your words you will be condemned

this is what Jesus says about our words he's saying pay attention to your words Jesus said pay attention to your words because I am I'm tracking down every single word that comes out of your mouth and I think the reason James is saying because if you can get your words right you'll get your whole body right what he's actually saying is because if you get your words right

That means you got your heart right, and that's what really matters. And the number one indicator of your heart is what comes out of your mouth. Back to James, James continues and says, does a spring pour forth from the same opening, both fresh and salt water? The answer is it doesn't work that way. Verse 12, can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives? The answer is, in case you're not good with horticulture is no. Or a grapevine produced figs. Once again, no.

Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water. water. Here's the point, man. Out of the overflow of the mouth, the heart speaks. The question is this, does your mouth reveal that you need heart surgery? God's not, it's not the words as much as what they do to other people's heart and what they reveal about your heart. And this is not just the James idea. This is from the beginning to the very end of scripture. Proverbs 1821 says this, death and life are in the power of the tongue. And those who love it will eat its fruits. Death and life are in the power of the tongue.

Let me ask you this. Are you speaking death or are you speaking life into your relationships? Are you speaking death? Are you speaking life over yourself? Are you speaking death? Are you speaking life over your family? I dare you to ask this question to somebody, especially people that you love the most.

I dare you to ask him this. What's it like to be on the other side of me? You say, because we love to judge our words by our intentions and hide behind the intention. Not what you heard, but what I meant when I said this. But the reality is, is how it lands on the person, is either going to kill them or it's going to bring life. And again, moms and dads, this is you in your family.

Proverbs 51. A soft answer turns away. wrath, but harsh words stir up anger. The Bible would say not only do we need to use the right words, but we also need to do it in the right tone. Do you realize this? Pay attention to the way you say your children's names. I mean, do you call it like the dog's name?

S'm doing it. Right? Oftentimes, man, it's not the things that you're saying, is how you're saying. The tone in which you say it. Proverbs 1218 Careless words stab like a sword And wise words lead to healing Here's what he's saying

You are responsible for the words that come out of your mouth I know we showed it in the video but not everybody sees the video So I brought a sword I have a sword because I'm a believer in Jesus Christ Okay When he comes back this thing's coming out of his mouth So you better like it, you better get into it all right It's actually it was a trophy

I won't tell you what for but I won this thing 20 something years ago all right And when he says careless words stabbed like a sword. What he's saying is you don't get an excuse because of your intent. Like if I was careless with this sword, I was showing you my brave heart tricks and I was throwing it all around. And I didn't mean to, but it slipped out of my hands and just shooke, shoot, shoot, shoot, to the third row and went right into you. Yeah, you, right there, yeah. I mean, you're going to heaven. You got saved last week. I was here. I remember you raised

your hand. Praise God for you. That's awesome. Straight up. She did. Literally, she did. She's getting baptized. Okay, so if that thing stuck all the way in you, here's the thing, man, careless word stab. And if I went and was like, I am so sorry, and took my sword back. Cleaned it up.

We'd be in the news this weekend. Former pastor at 1122 stabs a girl in the front row. They'd have a video team here. And here's the thing, if you survived the stabbing, you would remember this day forever and ever, and ever. Why? Because a stabbing is an event. A stabbing happens right when it happens. And here's the thing. Every single one of us can remember a moment where somebody's careless words stabbed us like a sword. And here's what's crazy. They may not even mean it. They may not even be trying to ruin your life

and ruin your relationships and give you commitment issues for the rest of your life. They didn't even mean. They were just saying stuff. This is why many, many times in my ministry, I have had to apologize for things that I've said. And here's what. Not because what I was saying was untrue. That wasn't the point. It's because I wasn't careful with my words.

And words have power. And especially if you have a sharp tongue and a sharp mind and everything is sharp. And you've got some insecurity. So you always go for the laugh, even at the expense of some people. and you're standing around in a group and you're just careless because you're just boys and you're just joking around and you're just being a little sarcastic and you're just being a little cutting or you've got this little kind of goofy name and you know your kid doesn't love it but it doesn't matter it's kind of funny and it might be even true it doesn't matter it's a stabbing it's an event

and wise words lead to healing I don't know if you've ever been stabbed before cut yourself with a knife just takes a second for the stabbing And it takes a long time for the healing, which is a little warning that you walk out of here today. And with great sincerity, you apologize to your wife because your words have been so cutting. And for the first time, the Spirit of God lays on you that you are responsible for the words that come out of your mouth. And she's been cut for 15 years. And you think one 15 second apology is going to make it all right. That's not how it works.

It's a process. Christians don't like process. We like events. We all show up here and get it all going. We like the event. The discipleship is a process. Healing is a process. Wise words.

There's not like a pill that just heals you, right? There's like a process that you go through over time. And even then, there can still be a scar. Now, I'll tell you, man, if you have been cut by words and it's still an open wound, you've got some serious work to do with the gospel and let the Spirit of God heal that thing up. And then don't you ever buy into the lie and let the enemy define you by your scars. That's what he wants to define you by. See that scar you got right there?

You remember that? Remember that bad relationship? Well, it was your fault because you decided to be with him and then he cut you with those words. No, no, no, no. The good news of the gospel is you're not defined by your scars. You're defined by the scars of Jesus Christ who died in your place. Careless words, stab like a sword. Paul talks about it in Ephesians chapter four, the power of words.

He answers the question, should I say it? Should I say this? And here's how he says it in Ephesians 429. He says, let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth, but only such as is good for building up as fits the occasion that it may give grace to those who hear. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth. He doesn't say, don't say corrupting thing. he says, don't let any of it come out of your mouth. It's almost like, you know, when that feeling, when that thought, or that idea,

it kind of starts down here in your gut or in your heart, right? And then your mouth is like the gatekeeper, and you can feel like the crazy's trying to rush the gate. You can feel the emotion. You can feel the anger. You can feel it rushing the gate. And he's saying, put a guard on your mouth and don't let it come out of your mouth. Let no corrupting talk.

That word corrupting in Greek means. rotting talk. In other words, there are words that grow things and there are words that rot things. Don't let rotting talk come out of your mouth. The way Paul's going to say it in 2. Timothy 2.14

is this. He says, avoid irreverent Babel. And again, the Greek for irreverent Babel is Twitter. We've talked about that before. But avoid irreverent babel, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness and their talk will spread like gang green.

Here's the problem with unrighteous talk. It won't stay in its place. It begins to get on people and infect people and corrupt and rot people. And so he uses his phrase gangrene. So I'm about to show you a picture of it. Show the picture of gangrene. Blah! Look at it.

That's gangrene of the foot for all you podcast listeners. You should have seen our team looking for all the pictures to choose from. There were many. It attacks the extremities. So thank God for safe search. There it is. Leave it up there. Keep looking at it.

A regular foot's not awesome. Gangering foot, worst thing I've ever seen in the whole life. Left untreated. Hey, look, put covering your face. Look at this. It's nasty, isn't it? It's nasty. May you want to throw up.

You ought to look at that and go, God, that's sick. You know what's sick? Corrupting talk. Backbiting. gossip, complaining, grumbling, talking about people instead of talking to people. As nasty as that is, you can go to their doctor and they can fix it, that you might lose a foot to save the body. All right, you can take it down.

And the Apostle Paul would have us know it's that serious. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth. Here's what a lot of Christians like to hide behind. Yeah, but it's true. Paul's like, I don't care. Now, let me be clear. If it's not true, you shouldn't say it. You don't tell lies.

But just because the thing is true does not give you the license to say it. He goes on to say, let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth only such as is good for building up. So the question I ask is, does it build up? If it tears down, you're not supposed to say it. Even if it's true.

Now, I'm not saying you're not supposed to say hard things. Oh, for sure. Paul says that we are to speak the truth in love. Proverbs say that the wounds of a friend are like healing bomb. So hopefully you've got people in your life that love you enough to say the hard thing for your good, not just say the thing that you want to hear. But just because the thing is true doesn't mean that you necessarily need to say it. In the great documentary on faith called Tommy Boy, there was this one part where Tommy says, does this suit make me look fat. The answer was, no, your face does. Now, is that true? It may be true, but it ain't building up Tommy Boy. You see, words can either be constructive building up, or they can be

destructive. They can tear people up. It's like a hammer. This is like prop night. I got so many props. I'm like carrot top. Okay, so look. There's a hammer. Is a hammer good or bad? That's what you use it for. In a regular claw hammer like this, there are two sides. to the hammer. There's a part that make things stick together. You put nails in two-by-fours, and they construct, they build. You flip that thing around and would take the claw, and it tears things down and tears them apart. These are like your words. And he's saying, the only thing you should do is, are the things that no corrupting talk coming out of your mouth, only that which is building up to the needs of the hear. Now listen, sometimes people that you love,

that you were in relationship with, that you have earned the right to be. heard with. Sometimes their life is going in the wrong direction, and if they continue to go in that direction, their life is going to go over the cliff and into the ditch and die forever, and you would love them enough to say the most constructive thing I could tell you right now is stop going this way, repent, change directions, and go in another way because this way leads to death and that way leads to life. And I love you more than I care about what you think about me. That's constructive. Most of the time, we use our words for destruction to tear people down, tear people up. Let no corrupting talk

come out of your mouth, but only such as good for building up. And then here, this is so important, as fits the occasion. Time and place matter. Like where you are and who you're with, it matters. The kind of conversations I have with some of you sitting around the campfire and the kind of conversations I have right here are different conversations. And one is appropriate, in one location that's not appropriate in another location. Recently, I went to the, the elders made me go get an executive physical every year, okay? So the kind of conversation I have in the doctor's office

would be different than the kind of conversation I would have with you about my trip to the doctor's office. Is the conversation inappropriate? It depends on the time and place. So he says, pay attention to that, let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth, only such as good for building up as it fits, the end of the end of the end of the end of the end of the occasion that it may give grace. Should you say it? Well, one, is this just like an overrun of

emotion? Pay attention to that. Is this corrupting? Is it good for building up? Does it fit the occasion? And lastly, that it may give grace. Is it rooted in the gospel? These are the things that need to be coming out of our mouth. That it gives grace to those who hear. And I'm not just talking about saying bad words, though I'm not a fan of bad words, don't say bad words. But do you realize that there are people that can bless you with cuss words and curse you with bless words? Do you realize that? I know a bunch of you have moved here from like the Midwest and up north.

Welcome. So glad. In California. Well, so glad to hear. Welcome to America. I'm glad. Welcome back. So that's cool.

Now, here's the thing. Let me just tell you something. There have been many times. I mean, 1122 is a movement for all people to discover deep in a relationship with Jesus Christ. And like I said last week, that people don't always check the sanctification boxes in the same order. So some of you, like cuss like a sailor, because some of you are sailors, okay? And you actually are.

And then, and it's going to take a minute for God to clean that part of your life up. And I can't tell you the number of times that people have blessed me with cuss words. Like, what do you mean? I mean, people like, come to the lobby and be like, pastor, that was a effing great summer. And I'm like, oh, boy. God bless you. I mean, you know, we'll get there. I'm not a proponent of that.

Please don't say that to me. Okay. Now, you know. And yet, I need you to know this. This was years ago. It's not the current pastor of my grandma's church. She's in heaven now. But the current pastor there is a great preacher.

But there was a couple before that, they were looking for a new preacher. And he came and preached. And so I called her. I was like, how'd he do? And she said, well, bless his heart. That sounds like a compliment. Doesn't listen, Yankees, listen, if a Southern lady says, bless your heart, here's what she's saying.

You're too dumb to talk to. That's what she's saying. So it's cursing with blessed words, okay? Here's a part of what Proverbs is saying, is what James is saying, it's what Paul says in a bunch of different places. You want to change the world? Change your mouth.

I mean, in Philippians, too, he says, do everything without complaining or arguing that we would shine like stars in a crooked and depraved generation. You want to shine like a star in the crooked and depraved generation? It's not even stand up on the desk at work and start preaching to everybody.

Paul in Philippians chapter two says, all right, everybody else in this whole world is going to let corrupting talk proceed out of their mouth, and it's all going to tear down. It's called complaining and arguing. And you're going to be at work tomorrow, and people are going to be standing around like heating up their burritos in the break room. And somebody's going to be like, can you believe Tammy? Who's the boss? And everybody, I mean, like flies on trash. are going to go, and just be like, yep, yep, yep,

and just complain and argue and grumble and complain. And in that moment, if you just don't complain or argue, Paul says it would be like dropping a star, bright light in that dark place. And they'll be like, what's wrong with you? You want to change the world? First of all, change the way you talk. You want to change your family?

start with the way you talk. You want to change your marriage? Start with the way you talk. Here's just a few do's and don'ts. Okay? Don't ever tell your kids you're disappointed in them. Ever, ever, ever, ever. And you're like, but I am.

I know, that's not the point. It's just anti-gospel. Do you realize that? When you look at your kid and you're like, I'm so disappointed in you, I expected more. It's just the opposite of what the gospel is. The gospel is, I knew this is what I was going to get.

willing to give my life for you and adopt you as my very own. Now, you do say that was wrong and there are consequences. In our house, we don't do these things. For sure. I'm not just saying you pat them on the head, but like, good luck, sinner. No. No, no, no, no, no. But when you think that your relationship with your mom and dad is performance-based,

you'll never have a relationship. Don't ever say that. Don't ever tell your spouse you'll leave them. I know everybody's joking. You did that to me. I'd cut. I would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, I would only say what the Lord is joined together, let no man tear apart.

Nothing could tear us apart. Be careful. Words have power. Don't ever call names. Ever. Don't defend your careless words with more evil words. The only thing that can come out of us is what is in us. Do verbalize blessing and gratitude.

I mean, do. Unspoken gratitude is worthless. Next time you feel a thing or think of things, you should, and it's positive for building up, you should say those things. Do, be slow to speak, quick to listen. And that means listen to understand. Be slow to anger. Cut out all the sarcasm and verbal jabs.

And in place of that, add encouragement. Do pray out loud over the people that you love most. I mean, just pick Bible verses, man. Pray these things out loud. Husbands, you want to lead your family? How about be the lead repenter? How about if you're the lead confessor? I am so sorry, will y'all forgive me?

How about to be the lead prayer? You want to lead your wife? How about just pray out loud over her? And some people, again, man, I hear our guys, but I don't really know what to say. Man, you could explain how to change the carburetor on an outboard. I mean, you can learn stuff, okay? But a great way to start is you just say,

baby, can I pray for you? She's going to look shocked. What have you done? I'm just doing what he said. And listen, wives, don't you screw it up with your words either, okay? Don't get all drippy drip. Be like, well, the only reason you're doing that because he just said, come on, just relax. And you just ask her, how can I pray for you?

Listen, husband, she's going to say words. You should pay attention to those words. And then you just say, dear God, and you just say exactly what she said. You just say her words, and you say amen. There will be so much power unleashed in your home when you begin to pray over. And then if you really want to step it up a notch, man, you look you up some Bible verses and you just pray these Bible verses over your children. You pray these Bible verses over your spouse.

And some of you're like, yeah, but my kids are old. I don't care. Be the man. Call your 30-year-old kid and be like, hey, I screwed it up until now, but I ain't screwing it up anymore. I want to pray Psalm 91 over you. There's a good one. Ephesians 5. There's a bunch of places, man.

Pray out loud for the people that you love. Do say, I'm sorry. for my words. Here's what's amazing about the way God designed, the power of the words, is the same thing that got you in all that trouble can be the same thing that justifies you. Verse 37, he says, by your words, you will be justified and by your words, you will be condemned. Think about this. The guy that got in the most trouble for his mouth in the New Testament was the Apostle Peter. I mean, pre-indwelling of the Holy Spirit, he couldn't hardly say anything right. He was the guy on the Mount of Transfiguration

where everything's going awesome and he's like, it is good that we are here. Makes it all about himself. He's the guy that rebukes Jesus for the gospel. Jesus says, get behind me Satan. He's the guy that promised I would never leave you, I would never forsake you, I would lay down my life for you. That night denies Jesus three times.

Over and over and over, the thing that gets him in so much trouble is his mouth. And yet, post-resurrection, when the spirit falls on him, of all the people to choose to preach the very first Christian sermon in the history of church is the loudmouth, the Apostle Peter. Here's why that matters. The same mechanism that the enemy has used to tear down your family,

the spirit of God can use to build your family up. The same mechanism that the enemy has gotten in there to create division, God can use that same mechanism to bring reconciliation. The same mouth that revealed the wretchedness of your heart can be the same mouth that declares Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. So James says, do not be merely hearers of the word and so deceive yourself, but do what it says. So here's how we're going to close. We're going to let no corrupting talk come out of our mouth, but only that which is building up for the needs of the hear. for some of you, you know there's some people in your life and they need to hear the words from you.

Will you forgive me? If they're not here, then I want to give you permission and even implore you right now. Get out your phone. Begin to send a text to somebody that you need to say, I'm sorry. Will you forgive me? If they're in this room or wherever you're worshiping, if they're here with you, then I would highly encourage you in just a few seconds. We are going to pray and we're going to sing and we're going to bring. And Jesus says, if you ever go to church and you've got an offering to bring, but you know there's somebody you're sideways with, then you go to that person.

And with your words, you be reconciled under your brother or sister in Christ. And then, and then you can bring your offering to me. And dads, I'm going to put a lot of this on you, husbands and dads. Why don't we be leaders in this? Maybe you need to bring your wife by the hand down here to the altar. And wives, as bad as it may be. I mean, maybe the only reason you're here is because you can put your kids in kids ministry for free for a minute, and it's just, you sit in the air condition, okay?

Would you just let him? Would you come with him and kneel down before our God and our maker in whose help we need? Because we cannot do this on our own. And dads, husbands, why don't you lead? And if things are going great, man, praise God for that. Then maybe you lead with a blessing. Maybe, maybe for the first time in a long time, you bring your family down. and you just pray, you just pray blessings over them.

If you're single, maybe you just grab a brother or sister and you come down and y'all just pray for one another out loud that maybe the way that we close in our time together is that we're not merely hears of the word. And we feel a thing and go out and don't do anything different and so deceive ourselves. But we do what the word says. So that's how we're going to close.

We're going to take the very thing that the enemy intended for evil, our mouths. And we're going to bridle our mouths, hand the reins over to the Father and say, will you use this thing for your good? We just stand. Let me pray for you. Our good and gracious Heavenly Father, God, we love you more than anything. God, we thank you for your word. God, I thank you that your word is not demeaning to us.

It's not cutting to us. It's not defeating to us. It's not performance-based to us. But your word brings life to us for anyone who would believe. And so, God, may we be conduits of your love and conduits of your grace and conduits of your gospel and conduits of your love. God, may we be surrendered to you. By the power of the Holy Spirit, would you give us the courage to go first, to apologize, to confess, to repent, to say I'm sorry? God, would you give us the courage to speak blessing?

And, Lord, when the emotions of complaining and arguing are, rushing towards our mouth and we feel like we have every right to gripe about this. May we remember your words on the cross. That though you were being reviled, you did not revile and return instead. You offered grace and said, Father, forgive them for they know not what they do. God, may we be more and more and more like you because of the spirit in us. We pray this in Jesus' name. So we're going to pray.

So what you come? Would you come and pray over one another? we're going to sing like save people and we're going to bring our tides and our offerings our first and our best. Bless your smile.