The Church of Eleven22 - What Really Happened On The Cross: Tetelestai - Wk 5

Episode Date: March 18, 2024

We often fail to fully realize the full story of what happened on the cross the day Jesus died and why it is so significant. To fully understand, we need to back all the way up to the beginning of creation so we can get the full picture of Jesus' love and mercy for each one of us. - The Church of Eleven22® is a movement for all people to discover and deepen a relationship with Jesus Christ. Eleven22 is led by Pastor Joby Martin and based in Jacksonville, Florida, with multiple campuses throughout Jacksonville and the surrounding areas. To find out more about how God is moving at Eleven22, go to coe22.com

I want to tell you a story. It's April 3rd, AD 33. It's getting pretty close to 3 o'clock in the afternoon. The city is Jerusalem, the city of the great king. It's Passover. The town is packed and bustling with Sabbath preparations. Mothers are preparing the Passover Seder. Fathers are closing down shops.

Children are playing in the streets. The smell of baking bread hangs in the air. In the temple, the high priest. is sharpening the knife with which he will slit the throat of the Passover lamb. Hours ago at Pilots Praetorium, which is the soldiers garrison, the soldiers wedged a post in a hole in a Herodian stone, and they lashed a prisoner to it, and somebody got a hold of him him with the Roman scourge. The scourge is a whip of sorts with a piece of wood about that long, and then maybe some

metal or leather straps about that long, and in the ends of it will be a, you know, nails, glass, rock. This is not Indiana Jones, so when it is swung, the pieces on the end wrap around the body of the condemned and they embed in the flesh. So when the executioner pulls it back, he removes bits and pieces. The ground around the hole is scattered with those pieces

and it's painted red. There's a blood groove that drains off to a gutter and kind of over there on the side or about 10 horizontal and vertical lines. It looks like a tick-tac-toeboard of sorts. And we know from Roman record that Roman soldiers would use that as a dice game to gamble for the belongings of the dude strapped to this post. Christy tells me sometimes that when I talk about the cross, that it's hard for people to hear it because I have a tendency to paint it in graphic terms.

And it can be difficult, she says. My response is, honey, it was difficult for Jesus. And it was far more graphic than I am making it out to be. You and I have an enemy that wants us to whitewash this thing and not see it for what it is. Because if he can reduce what happened here and cause us to see it as somehow less utterly horrific than it was, then he can cause us to see our sin as somehow less than utterly grotesque in the eyes of God.

So I know it's early-ish on a Sunday morning. It makes you feel any better. This is about the time all this stuff happened to him. So just hang with me, okay? We follow this trail outside the city up through the Damascus Gate, out where they burn the trash, a crowd has gathered, spectators, the Sabbath is just maybe an hour away, and along the road, just above eye level, Roman soldiers have crucified three men who now hang suspended from heaven and the street. The afternoon sun has given way to an eerie and inexplicable darkness,

as if someone has blotted out the sun. There's not much conversation. This does not seem to be a normal execution. Of the three men, the man on the middle cross is not doing well. He's held up by spikes through his wrists and his feet. He's grotesque. The flesh on his back, neck and sides, most of it has been removed. His beard's been plucked out. His eyes are swollen nearly shut from haymakers. There's a crown of acacia thorns.

And the acacia thorns are about three inches long. in Africa, part of the Rift Valley, tribes will use these as blow darts. They've been known to pop tires. These thorns have been driven into his skull by rods. He's also totally naked, as if his executioners want to shame him, and they have. Above his head, a sign written in Greek, Hebrew, and Latin reads the king of the Jews. It's strange, since the Romans have their king, and they don't suffer the competition. And to this cross, the soldiers have added a sedil.

A sedil is also known in colloquial language as a mercy seat, though there's very little mercy in it. It's a spike that sticks out horizontally from the vertical tree, and it's sharpened, and it forces the condemned to arch his back out from the tree. And when he tires, his only option is to sit on it, and it pierces his backside, most loophers. lose bowel and bladder control. In the years after this event, archaeologists will sift through the dirt on this hill and they will find heel fragments of bone

with the nails through the side, and they'll date them back to Roman crucifixions. What that tells us is that the Romans perfected this. They didn't let the condemned be crucified with one foot over the other, like all these artistic paintings we've seen. What they did is they would spread their, the condemns legs around the tree, and they would drive the spikes in from the side, one for each heel. The heels have a lot of nerve endings, and there's not very much blood flow, so it hurts more and lasts longer.

It also reduces his ability to push up. Blood is pouring from this man's body, and evidently he's been at this a while. If you listen closely, you can hear the gurgle. I'm no medical expert, but he does not have long. Oddly, the man says several things, something about forgiveness, then a word to his mother, then something to the thief alongside him, then something to God about being forsaken. And finally he states the obvious, I thirst. And a jar of sour wine is somehow nearby his cross, so the soldiers, upon hearing the man,

put a sponge on a stick. It's called a terseorium, and they shove it in his face. This is John 19. After this, Jesus knowing that all was now finished, said to fulfill the scripture, I thirst. A jar full of sour wine stood there. So they put a sponge full of the sour wine on a hyssop branch and held it to his mouth. When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said some words you're going to hear next week,

so stay tuned. The Roman army was the biggest army in the world, and a big army has to be fed, and a fed army has to go to the bathroom, and that can cause some problems with sanitation if you're not careful. So Roman soldiers, when they were conscripted, were given a couple things, a spear, a shield,

sandals with really thick soles, a sword, and a sponge and a stick, and a jar of sour wine. In this day and age, vinegar, or sour wine, isn't a stringent, it's a cleaner. So these men were instructed as to how to clean their back sides. Some have suggested this sponge on a stick thing with Jesus is merciful. If you look at his body, I don't tend to find them showing much mercy. They are shoving feces-laced vinegar into the mouth of God.

This raises the question. Who is his man? Why is he here? What was his crime? what did he do to deserve this? Some standing in the shadows, milling about this cross, whisper how his death has something to do with all of mankind, with you and me. But what?

What could this possibly have to do with us 2,000 years later? To understand the reason for this cross and why his story matters at all, we got to back up all the way. In the beginning, God, who says, sits in unapproachable light for reasons that he never really explains creates the universe. I'm a writer. I write stories for a living. I've published 25 to 28 books. I've published over 3 million words and I make a living on verbs. They drive my stories. So it's like when I read scripture, they're all highlighted in yellow. I just notice them. If you read Genesis 1, the very first

verb in scripture is create. So if we know anything about this God, Before he is anything else, we know that he is creative. Everything we can see, stars, seas, mountain, plants, animals, including the hummingbird, the hippopotamus, the penguin, and the sloth. When finished, he says, it is good. Then for reasons he doesn't explain, he creates his most perfect creation, made in his very own image, man, an image bearer. You've heard Jobi do this with the dust,

and God bends down and makes shoulders and elbows and fingers and toes and knees. Then he gets some dust and puts it in his hand and spits and makes this little oblong-looking thing and then pops it into this socket on the head and covers it with a lid. God is making mud pies with delight. And then when perfect, the ancient of days fills up his lungs, presses his lips to your and my nostrils. and he exhales the ruach of God. And you and I became living, breathing souls.

Our first breath started in his lungs. That means what you see in the mirror started in the mind of God. God thought you up. I was putting this together. The thought kept coming back to me that we live in a culture in which there is a massive crisis of identity and the enemy is just whispering lies about us if that's you if you're wrestling with identity and whether or not you matter and why god would put you here you're perfect if amen frank were here

he would have just said amen if you're wrestling with with what you look at in the mirror, just know that the God of the universe thinks you're perfect. Then unlike any other God, he gives man dominion over his creation. We don't know why he just does. And because he doesn't want Adam to be alone,

he creates Eve, man and women, perfect union with God, perfect intimacy, perfect communication, perfect trust, perfect understanding, perfectly perfect. And for about five minutes, things are great. Then a serpent enters, the dragon of old, and he questions God's character. Did God really say? It's an old lie. It's the oldest lie. Eve succumbs first, then Adam. Sin enters. Both are snake bit. There's no antivenom. But here's the thing, contrary to popular narratives, when Adam and Eve

sinned, they didn't just choose a forbidden fruit. They rebelled. God did not stutter. He was very clear. don't eat. So make no mistake. In their sin, Adam and Eve chose a rival king and a rival kingdom. You've got to wrap your head around this. Adam and Eve chose a rival king and a rival kingdom. Don't think so? A man named Paul will later describe the result of that decision, and he will say,

for he rescued us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved son. But because God is loving, he grants Adam and Eve their request. He is no tyrant God. So he lets them choose a different father, the father of lies. And then I think as his heart breaks, he walks Adam and Eve out of the garden. The gate locks and there stands an angel with a flaming sword. And I want you to notice something. Adam and Eve had no children inside the garden. That means all children born to Adam and Eve are born rebels, born in the kingdom of darkness. The venom is already in our veins. The starting place for us is darkness, separation, slavery, fear, just dead.

We're all born slaves to a master with no mercy. From this moment, man's starting point is not intimacy with God and cool walks in the morning, but subjects to a slave master. With their first step outside the gate, sin is crouching at their door and its desire is to have them, and that word desire means to dominate, to own, and it will.

This is why it's called the fall. Things are going to hell in a handbasket. Where they could once see perfectly, now they will see through a glass darkly. Cataracts, both physical and spiritual. Their teeth will rot and fall out of their mouths. Their ears will ring, and their hearing will fail. From this moment, they will want shiny things

that do not satisfy. Adam will lust after other women, and they will begin making idols. And where they had known peace, they will now know war. They will be tormented, attacked, enticed, and hounded by demons who have a measure of power and authority, given them by God. Inside the garden, Adam needed neither faith nor hope because both were realized. He walked with God. Why would he need either? But outside, he will need both if he's to make it.

As the gate closes and the lock slams shut, I imagine their deep. The deepest emotion is what have we done? And their deepest question is, how do we get back there? And so the longing begins, the longing for Eden. But they are powerless to open the gate and they are separated from God with no mediator. And though God drove Adam and Eve out of the garden, he never deleted the desire to be there. He left that in on purpose, which they also. passed to us. It's wrapped around our DNA. I can't prove it, but I tend to think they took about

three steps outside of the garden and then vomited from their toes until only the dry heaves remained. Not only did they lose their perfect relationship with the father. Think through what they lost with each other. The changes they will experience from this moment, argument, blame, hurt, doubt, mistrust, suspicion, sorrow, anger, frustration. They are walking into a world of condemnation, false accusation, addiction, sore muscles, broken bones, arthritis, bad vision, maggots, rotting food, rotting teeth, drought, cancer, hopelessness, jealousy, rage, curse words aimed at each other, dissatisfaction, depression, anxiety, loneliness, failure, Adam will come to know the sin of pride. He will stand outside the gate, pound his chest, and think, I got this. He might even say it,

but nothing could be further from the truth. They will carve a headstone and bury a son under a shoulders shaking sob, and before it's over, one of them will bury the other. But as bad as that is, that's not the worst of it. All of that is simply the result of living in a fallen world. There is a bit bigger problem, an insurmountable problem, a problem for which they have no solution, and it is, it must be dealt with if they are ever to see God face to face again. That problem is the wrath of God. And with every moment that passes, it is storing up more and more, 10 minutes outside the garden and its sum is more than they can pay in this lifetime. And it continues to be stored up for every sin, of every human for all time.

And God is not just mildly perturbed at the sight of their sin. He's furious. He hates it. His wrath is a tsunami, the likes of which the world has never seen. So what exactly was lost at the fall? You and I were intended for perfect relationship with the Father, perfect union. there's something in you that looks around this world, scratches your head and thinks, something isn't right. Something's broken. You're right. It is. We were not designed for this fallen world.

We were designed for that perfect Eden, and the residue of a desire for Eden still flows in our veins. It's just been twisted, leaving us with a longing and gut-level knowingness that something isn't what it's supposed to be, and we were meant for something in someplace else. Adam and Eve ate dinner with God at the table, they looked into his eyes, laughed. He tucked him in at night, told him stories, tickled him, scratched their backs as they faded off to sleep. Paul told the Colossians, for in him Jesus, the fullness of God was pleased to dwell. What's that mean for us? It means what we see in Jesus we can translate to God the Father.

And he was then and is now a hugger, a jungle gym for kids. He's touchy-feely, all up in their bitterness. As a result, they sat in his lap, bounced on his knee, danced, tickled him back. the smell of God. They knew the sound of his belly laugh and what it felt like when he put him in the tub, soaked up their hair, and washed their feet. We've trivialized the Garden of Eden with flannel graphs and nursery school as a bedtime story, but Adam and Eve were real people with real lives, real funny bones and real tears. I want you to think for a second about that long, silent walk out of the garden, heads hanging, eyes darting to the ground as the angel escorts them to the gate. They crossed the

threshold, turn, take one last look around. Emotions they've never known flood their hearts and minds. What did Adam and Eve lose in that moment? What did they know at one time that they will never know again this side of the grave? And what had they not known that they will now know for the rest of their lives? Tears, guilt, regret, shame, pride, arrogance, control, manipulation, confusion, fear, they are walking from perfect to not, from provision to uncertainly. Limitless wealth to abject poverty, mansion to homeless, acceptance to rejection, qualified to disqualified, blessing to curse, perfect health to disease, abundance to need, carefree to burdened, humble to prideful, weightless to heavy laden, effortless to impossible, gentleness to hatred, intimacy to alienation, certain to uncertain, joy to sorrow, tenderness to torment, praise to depression, presence to absence, perfection to imperfection, grace to legalism, Righteous to unrighteous, clean to unclean, freedom to slavery, air to vagabond, peace to a war they cannot win, limitless to limited, from the absence of pain and the memory

of pain to a lifetime of it, from power to utterly powerless, order to chaos, from truth to lies, accusation and falsehood, and not being able to tell the difference, from an errant word to blasphemy, creator to creature, dominion to dominated, light to dark, life to death, from the kingdom of heaven to the kingdom of darkness from immortal, holy, and blameless to dead slave. They cannot fix what they broke. What's worse? Adam and Eve died with no mediator,

no one to plead their case before the judge. And so life begins outside the garden, life in the fall. Sin has entered, the wrath of God is storing up, things are really bad, image barriers are killing one another, rebellion runs rampant, the debt ledger of every man woman and child grows by the second. Within minutes, the amount owed is greater than any of us could pay in several lifetimes. God's most perfect creation, mankind, is headed straight to hell for all eternity. Here's the inescapable truth of you and me. The descendants of Adam cannot reverse the

decision. We can't get back to good. We are powerless to do anything about anything. What can the dust do? but fear not because while his wrath is great there is one thing greater if you hear one thing i say today if you walk out of here and you only you only get one sentence get this one there is more grace and mercy in jesus than sin in us but god being rich in mercy because of the great love with which he loved us even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ, by grace you have been saved.

I just want you to see that when we were dead in our sin, we were slaves to a master with no mercy. And God, just because he loves us, offers a remedy, a rescue, a ransom. In truth, it's a prisoner exchange. one for all of us. So who does he send? He's described as the brightness of the Father's glory,

the exact representation of his nature, and he upholds all things by the word of his power. He spoke everything into existence. He fashioned you and me. He stretched out the seas, and he said, stop right there. He stretched up the mountains, and he said, nope, no higher.

He made 10 trillion fireballs and scattered them into the night sky, and he calls every single one of them by name and gathered around his throne. Hundreds upon hundreds of millions of angelic beings are singing at the top of their lungs. Hands raised, face pressed to the carpet. They are a picture of worship. All of heaven is focused on him.

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation, for by him all things were created in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities. All things were created through him, and for him and he is before all things and in him all things hold together and he is the head of the body of the church he is the beginning the first born from the dead that in everything he might be preeminent for in him all the fullness of god was pleased to dwell how should we respond to that paul says

in philippians too have this mind amongst yourselves which is yours in christ jesus who though he was in the form of god did not think equality with god a thing to be grasped but emptied him by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men, and being found in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. I just want to make sure you're tracking with you. The only begotten son, the heir of all things, stands up from his throne, takes off his crown, takes off his kingly and priestly garb, lays his diadem in the corner, gives his ring back to his father, strips down to a loincloth, and takes a swan dive out of heaven to end up here in a gooey mess.

And the word became flesh and dwelt among us. And from his fullness, we have all received grace upon grace. when the angels foretold his coming, they called him Emmanuel, God with us. Spends 30 years in private life. He's just one of us. And then he's walking by the Jordan River and his cousin is baptizing people.

And his cousin says, Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. And the clock starts ticking. The sun is hidden no more. all of hell now has one mission kill the sun and then just to make sure there's no doubt Jesus walks into a little town called cana and he turns this nasty hand-washing water into the best wine this world has ever known it's almost as if he's sending a signal spends three years in public ministry feeds the multitudes walks on water stills storm is with

the word heals the sick casts out demons restore sight to the blind delivers epileptic the lame walk, the dead are raised to life. There's nothing he can't do. People are giddy. Rome doesn't stand a chance. Then on a cold night just prior to Passover, in a garden on the outskirts of town, he's betrayed by a friend with a kiss.

He's falsely accused. He's arrested. He's beat. His beard is plucked out. He's spit on during a mock trial at night. the religious authorities are afraid they will lose power so they scourge him turning his back to burger and force marching him out of town where they nail him to a tree suspending him between heaven and the street passers by spit mock laugh and remind him of all the crazy things he said leading up to this moment why

they're killing the son of god elsewhere in heaven hundreds of millions of angels sit eyes singularly trained on the sun, ears poised for the Father's command. If he so much as blinks in their direction, the hound of heaven will unleash justice on mankind. And yet they don't. This is the part I pray that I never get over. This picture right here, Jesus is God. And yet for some reason, he does not summon the heavenly host. He does not throw lightning bolts from on high. He does not turn us into just black spots where our souls once stood.

Unlike me, he's not interested in fairness. Because fair puts me on that cross. Jesus is motivated by something else. So what does the shed blood of this man have to do with us? Because here's the thing. God hates sin. He detests it.

He can't stand it. because he is just sin, all sin for all people for all time must be paid for. And because he's merciful, he delays the payment. And then because he loves us with some crazy kind of love, he makes the payment on our behalf. Colossians 2 and you who were dead in your trespasses in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses by canceling the record of debt that stood against us

with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame by triumphing over them in him. So back to John 19. After this, Jesus knowing that all was now finished, said to fulfill the scripture, I thirst. Jesus is drowning in his own lung fluid. And due to the scourging and the loss of blood, and the loss of blood pressure. He's also dying of thirst. The writer of Hebrews will later try and come along and explain this, and as a writer,

what we have to deal, the tools of our trade are words. It's all we got. So he's trying his best to describe this. Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death,

that is the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham. Therefore, he had to be made like his brothers in every respect so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God to make propitiation for the sins of the people. Because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those. those who are being tempted. So what does this do? What does it change?

Same writer will say this, let us then, with confidence, draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. This and this alone grants us unfettered access to the throne room. of God. But don't miss this. Every path to the throne room passes beneath the shadow of this execution stake. Some of you have an idea that God is out there indifferent and that he doesn't

care. Your life is just a suck fest, hope you can hang on long enough to make it to the end zone. But this God, the son of God, the one hanging from these nails, he wants you to know that he thirsts. And if you unpack that word and dig into it, what it means a couple layers down, it means I thirst or I long to be restored into relationship. Let me ask you a question. Would you welcome someone into your confidence who can't empathize with your condition? When you're in pain, who do you call? Someone who's known that pain or someone who hasn't?

Anyone out there ever had back trouble? Unfortunately, I'm somewhat of an expert. I've had a fusion. I've had long needles stuck into really painful nerves. I've had a couple of ablations. It's tough to explain to people who, don't understand it. Any lady in here ever wanted a child, have been unable to have one so bad, it hurts, it aches, and then maybe gotten pregnant by the grace of God only to miscarry?

Who did you confide in? Who did you call? Anyone ever poured their life into a child only to watch him or her to take off, give you the finger and say you're dead to me? Anybody got a prodigal? How deep is that pain, that sorrow? Anyone ever lost a loved one tragically before? their time leaving a void and ache. But God, we had plans. We were going to spend the rest of our lives together. Got any artists in here? Ever works really hard for something?

Weeks, months. Pored your soul into a thing. Emptied yourself, and then one by one, the rejections come in. You quit going to the mailbox. Ever falling in love? Emptied yourself, serving your soulmate, following them around the world, laying down your life, your dreams, only to find out they'd given their soul and body to another.

Anyone ever known that depth of inexplicable betrayal? Anyone ever emptied the bottle of pills into your hand and then just sat on the edge of the bed staring at the phone? Anyone ever felt naked, ashamed, despised, rejected, filled with sorrow, overcome with grief, alone, stricken, curse, smitten by God, afflicted, pierced, crushed, wounded, oppressed, afflicted, unable to speak, cut off out of the land of the living, the weight of the world on your shoulders, in anguish of soul.

a long way from home and those you love as if God has turned his face away so tired you can't even lift your arms like you can't breathe like you're drowning we trust people who get us we confide in people who share our wounds who have been there we pour out the pain of our souls with those who are safe Jesus has known more pain than you can fathom and at a depth you cannot conceive trust me he gets you our enemy would have us believe that if god exists he is out there untouchable indifferent mildly amused he's just a clockmaker god who wound things up only to watch him burn he's up there you're down there he doesn't have time good luck crossing the street really we know the truth of this life but if it is to be it's up to me these are

all lies from the pit of hell the two strongest needs of the human body are air and water and in this moment jesus can't get either one six to eight years ago i was in jerusalem some Joby and some other folks. I found myself staring down at this hole in the Herodian stone. And I had all this explained to me, and I knew about the post, and there, when you're looking at it, this groove carved in the stone makes its way

about 12 feet over there. There's the game, and I had that explained to me. I found myself staring at this hole. I write stories for a living, but in that moment, God took what I knew in my head and migrated it down into my heart. And my response was, this is not a story, this is an event in the history of the world. This really happened.

I found myself seconds later kind of down on my knees with my hand flat on the smooth stone. I know it's been 2,000 years, but I just wanted to touch it. And through tears, I began asking the question, what kind of king is this? Like really? And I'm not telling you that I heard him like you're hearing my voice, but my heart had like an impression. And what I felt like he said was, walk with me back to my cross and I'll show you.

And he did. When I sat down to write that pilgrimage, I was afraid. I didn't think I could pull it off because how do I tell that? Really. And again, I felt like he said, Charles, just lock. arms bring them back up here to me trust me whatever they bring I can handle took about nine months and I'm not telling you this to make it about me or make more of the book I'm please don't hear that I'm I'm wanting you to know the

effect of it on me and what the Lord did in me because it's been my prayer for you and the Lord met me with two things we know from John that grace and truth are poured out on the lips of Jesus so if we're getting the truth which we are we know it's gonna be true and he did and he pulled back the veil and he showed Charles Charles and it hurt. I didn't like what I saw. If you knew my thoughts, you wouldn't like it either. And really, I saw, I learned for myself

that there is more grace in Jesus than sin in me. It was not pretty. But because we know we get grace and truth, the truth is packaged in grace, and it's not cheap grace, it's priceless. Christy would walk in sometimes when I was working on this, and I'd be just sitting there weeping, and I couldn't see the screen.

And she'd have a question or something that she wanted to know. And I can't even look up. And she said, I'll come back. It was the most beautiful and simultaneously painful thing he's ever done with me, and I'm so grateful he did it. Two years ago, Christy and I bought a farm, Christy and the boys and I bought a farm.

It's up in central Georgia, and it's been a lifelong thing and a huge answer to prayer. And it's one of the most exciting things to ever happen to me. I mean, aside from Christy the boys, Jesus, I mean, on earth, in terms of things I get excited about, this dirt is way up there. But from the moment that we closed,

and I drove through the gate, and I didn't pick up on it until it was way too late, but I began dealing with this simmering frustration and control in terms of how we experienced the farm. And that grew, this control grew and grew. And I began placing unmet and false expectations on my family. and one day standing around the fire pit we're all getting ready to go hunting

and boys are goofing off and cutting up as they should and I'm so glad that they do and I manifested anger and I blew up at them I totally lost my stuff and there's a phrase for what I lost and I'm not going to say it but you know what I lost and I just erupted and it's crickets around the

fire pit. John T. said to me, and I'm so grateful that he did, but it really cut me. He said, Dad, if you're going to be like this, we don't even want to be here. My son just said that to me, y'all, and he was right to say it. We get in our vehicles, whatever, and we go to the stand, and I'm sitting there in a tree with my bow, and at this point I can care less about flinging an arrow through a deer, and I'm just sitting there, and I felt like the Lord said, really? Is this where we are? And I realized, I was afraid. My fear, at root, my fear fed control.

Control not met, bled into a Vesuvius eruption of anger, which I'm not proud of. To the people I love most on this planet. It was horrible, y'all. I get down out of the stand. I'm like dragging my bow back to our home site. And we get around the fire pit and they're all quiet. And I just began confessing and repenting.

And my daughters-in-law were there. And I'm like, y'all, I am so sorry. I repent. This is me. Here's what's going on. Your dad is afraid. You need to know it. Your dad is afraid.

And you're going to hear the problem in my pronouns. I'm afraid that I won't do what I need to do. so that I can keep this farm in that so that we don't lose it. And I just, I mean, I prayed with them, and I'm like, I'm so sorry. And I kind of thought things were better for about six or eight weeks. And then we're back up there again. And y'all, I lost it again. Worse.

I don't even like saying it. And I repented again. I'm like, y'all, I told you I was afraid. Now do you believe me? And we prayed again, and I asked their forgiveness. And I'm like, y'all, I am sorry. But here's the thing. I've made this place an idol.

And I don't want to do that anymore. So I'm giving my beautiful idol back to the Lord. I would rather your mom and I make a mistake in what we think is faith with all the wisdom that we know, then sit here and cower in paralysis to the tyranny of fear. And I found myself praying when I'm praying, I'm praying with my family, and I'm asking the Lord's forgiveness, and I'm asking there. forgiveness and I also realized I am I'm dealing with a an emotion yes I know it is the fear is an emotion I'm also dealing with a spirit of fear so I got I got rather fired up and I said to

the spirit of fear in the name and by the blood of Jesus you may not have me in the name of Jesus get out leave you can't have me I am a blood bought blood washed blood redeemed child of king and I do not live in your kingdom. Go. So I took my fear and I laid it down at his cross and because he's faithful in exchange he gave me faith. And things at the farm have been a lot better. Not all of our circumstances have changed, but in a great blessing to my heart, my kids want to be there with me. 24 hours prior to this cross, Judas says to the religious, leaders of the day, what will you give me if I turn this man Jesus over to you? And they say 30 pieces of silver. Why? 30 pieces of silver? Because in Exodus, it says, if the ox gores a slave,

male or female, the owner shall give to their master 30 shekels of silver and the ox shall be stone. Why is that included in scripture? Because Jesus is wanting you to know that he is purchasing slaves. I want to end with this. I'm a little outside of scripture. Just bear with me. First Peter talks about when Jesus climbed down off this cross, he went and preached the souls who have been held since the days of Noah. So we know he went somewhere and preached and we were in the kingdom of darkness. And we know he transfers us out. So in my mind, Jesus walks down into the slave market in the kingdom of darkness, which is just a dungeon. And he eyes all of us, all of mankind. What does he see? He sees maggots and pus and untreated wounds

and death all around. There's wailing. There's most. There is condemned, condemned people crying out. We are enslaved to addictions, tormented by demons. We have no hope and no way out. To the slave master, he says, I'll buy them all, every last one. And when the slave master huffs and says with what? Jesus stretches out his arms and says, with every last drop of my blood, the mushroom cloud rising out of hell was ignited by the blood of Jesus. And in my mind, victorious King Jesus then walks out with the keys of death and Hades, hanging

from his belt. And he looks at all of us bound and says, chains be broken and locks be opened and doors be ripped off their hinges and iron bars be torn in too. But here's the thing. Broken chains and doors ripped off hinges don't make you free. You have to stand up and walk out. signifying that you've received the offer. Some of us walk with a limp.

Some of us have a hard time standing up and getting out. And trust me, Jesus has got a beautiful shoulder. He's not going to leave you there. He loves setting captives free. It's for freedom that he came to set us free. And he's never left anyone behind. The offer from this cross is salvation, it's deliverance, it's transference.

where to well walk with me back to this cross and i'll show you only from the cross can you access the throne there's no other path last thing there's no such thing as there's no such thing as a salvation or a deliverance without repentance if anyone ever stands up in front of you and offers you transference out of the kingdom of darkness without repentant that's a lie from the pit of hell, and that's a gospel of cheap grace, and this grace is priceless. Repentance is not remorse. It's not, I'm sorry I got caught. Judas was remorseful, but he found no place for repentance. Repentance is a heart posture. It's a surrender, a submission, a humbling, a, I don't got this. It's the place where you say,

here's my sin and all my shame. Repentance is the place where I confess. I, the truth of me, and I acknowledge the truth of the one who paid my debt. I want to offer three invitations. I probably grew up a little more charismatic than some of you, so I'm probably a little more comfortable with this. Maybe you Presbyterians and Baptists might have to just give me a little grace, but we're going to go a little bit old school. If you've been reading my book, you know that every day I say walk with me back to the cross, so I'm going to invite all of you to do that one way or the other. The first one is this, if you've never yielded, surrendered, submitted to the Son of God, if you've never said, Lord, I believe that you are the Son of God,

the only way to God, and that you died on this cross for my sin, and that three days later, you rose again from the dead, and you are seated at the right hand of God most high, alive, ruling and reigning, and I would like to receive the offer of access to your kingdom. I would like to be transferred out of the kingdom of darkness and into the kingdom of the son of your love, then I just want you to stand up and walk right down here to these kneelers and kneel before the king of all kings. I know it's scary. If you're in prison, I know it's tough to get here.

No problem. The Lord sees your heart. How about just hit your knees? If you're somewhere after this date and you're listening to the sound of my voice, well, maybe you're on a plane. Just open your hands. The Lord sees your heart. I said this on Thursday night.

And as I'm saying that, I'm about stand up and walk down here. This guy stands up, like right there, walks over here. And in my mind, I'm like, wow. And then he walks over to the stairs, walks up the stairs, and comes right up here and stands right next to me. He just took me literally. I didn't know what to do. He's a big old boy, too.

I didn't know what to do. I just turned around and hugged him. His name is Owen. I said, Owen, welcome to the kingdom of God. Number two, some of you have surrendered. You've submitted your lives to Jesus. You're following him. You're also worn out.

Maybe you're wrestling with tormenting fear like I was. Maybe you have doubt. Maybe you've manifested anger, control, unbelief. Maybe you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Maybe you've committed some sin that you think disqualifies you from this Christ. cross, listen, there's no place on planet Earth that the blood of Jesus can't reach. There's no gone that is too far gone. So if you're like me, and fear is yanking your chain and whipping you about and you've been angry

and you sinned against those you love or send against somebody else, and you need to confess that to the Lord. And I know it's harder if you're dealing with fear, because fear's going to be the thing that wants to keep you in their seat the first place. So I want you to kick that fear in the teeth. I just want you to stand up and I just want you to come to these kneelers and don't let fear keep you in your seat. Really.

That writer of Hebrews will say, let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Last one. Some of you have been walking faithfully for a long time, what Peterson calls a long obedience in the same direction. Some of y'all have been doing that.

And the Lord, man, he is like button-busting proud of you. But maybe you're like me and you're a cracked cup and you have a tendency to like leak water. The good news is God still uses cracked cups to pour water. But we gotta get filled up. There's a scripture in Revelation that says, there is a river that flows from the throne of God. So if that is you, if you've leaked a little bit,

if you just need reminding, if you just want to come bow before the king because you love him, then stand up and come get filled up. Pray with me. Lord Jesus, I give you all of these magnificent people. I pray that you would pour out your spirit. You promised to do it,

so I pray that you would pour out your spirit on all flesh. Would you meet them where they need to be met? Would you be deeper than the wounds that they have brought to this altar? Would you exchange and take from them all of the evil that is due to them and give them all of the good due to you? Father, where there is fear that is tormenting these people in the name of Jesus, and by the blood of Jesus, I command the spirit of fear to leave these people right now and go. You may not have them. They are blood bought, blood washed, blood redeemed. Lastly, Lord, we as your children, we want to repent outright and completely for every sin we've committed against you, a righteous and holy God, individually and

corporately, Lord, we just repent. Please receive our repentance before this throne of grace. And Lord, from this place, we receive from you not because we deserve it, but because simply you offer it. And that is, we receive from you. grace upon grace. And we pray this in the matchless and undefeated name of Jesus.