The Church of Eleven22 - Where Have All the Good Men Gone? - Stand Firm and Act Like Men: Wk 1

Episode Date: October 19, 2025

What happened to godly masculinity? In this powerful kickoff to the Stand Firm and Act Like Men series, Pastor Joby Martin challenges the cultural narrative and calls men back to their God-given purpose. From Genesis to 1 Corinthians 16:13–14, we see that manhood isn’t about muscles, money, or machismo — it’s about being a prophet, priest, king, provider, and protector. God designed men to work with purpose, obey with courage, and love with sacrifice. But sin has distorted that calling, leading to passivity, confusion, and brokenness. This message is a wake-up call to rise up, reject the lies, and return to the design of the Creator. If you’ve ever wondered what it really means to be a man of God, this sermon is for you. “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.” – 1 Corinthians 16:13–14 📣 Episode Mentions: Scripture Passage: 1 Corinthians 16:13-14, Genesis 3:1-24 Preacher: Pastor Joby Martin 📌 Supplemental Resources From This Week: The Call to Biblical Manhood Where Have All the Good Men Gone? - Stand Firm and Act Like Men: Wk 1 (Full Service)  Are You Living Safe Or Standing Firm? - Deepen with Pastor Joby Martin S24E1  Stand Firm and Act Like Men Sermon Series Deepen with Pastor Joby Martin About The Church of Eleven22 The Church of Eleven22® is a movement for all people to discover and deepen a relationship with Jesus Christ. Eleven22 is led by Pastor Joby Martin and based in Jacksonville, Florida, with multiple campuses throughout Jacksonville and the surrounding areas. To support this ministry and help us continue to reach people all around the world click here: http://coe22.com/donate

Like men. Oh, let's go. Let's go, let's go. Amen and amen and amen. Hey, if you got your Bibles, I hope you do, this ought to be easy for you, even if you're new to Bible study. We're going to go to Genesis. You can find it.

It's in the beginning. Got it? Go there. I hope you're ready to stand firm and act like men. We have been here all weekend. It is so good, ladies, to see you in this room. I'm telling you. I mean, it's great to have 3,000 men in this place,

but I ain't a lie. I started smelling like beef and cheese last night, all right? So it's really good to see you all here. And I know we got a bunch of folks that are visiting that came to the conference and you're still hanging out. I'm super glad that you were here. We got a brother from Dillon, South Carolina right back there. Can you believe that? Praise God.

Here's what's crazy. He's going back. That's what's crazy. Also, my guy Drew Parker sitting over here on the front row. You know Drew, hopefully. Big-time country music artists. I've been disciplining that cat for about, I don't know. a year or something like that.

And he felt called of God to walk away from his regular country music career, walk out of his contract and everything, and only write country music that just preaches the gospel and gives glory to Jesus. And that song, Blame Jesus that you heard is his. It just released this week. And so I want every one of you to get out your phone and download the song by Drew Parker called Blame Jesus. Do it right now.

Let's blow this thing up, all right? And let's get the whole world listening to some good grown men country. worship music, praise God, amen. All right, for the next seven weeks, we're going to talk about what it means to stand firm and act like men. And I know some of you may be asking, well, actually, I haven't had one woman at our church go,

well, what about us? You know why? Because godly women don't ask what about me. Godly women ask, how can we help? And you guys have been so incredibly helpful. But let me tell you what I do need from you and what I don't need from you over the next seven weeks.

All right, I'm here to help, I promise. Single ladies, I'm here to help, all right? I'm hoping and praying. Somebody's asked me what my goal is in this series. One of my goals is that one year from now, we've got a bunch of men that have gotten their knee dirty because they stood up, like men, they popped the question, and we're doing a bunch of ladies, praise God, there you go.

All right, I'm here. Married women, what I don't need from you over the next seven weeks is, preach it, brother, okay? Also, I'd highly encourage you, you don't need to bring up the sermon at home at all over the next seven weeks, okay? Because if your man has half a brain cell, which I know, it's a big if, but if the tomb is empty, anything is possible, he's going to begin to step into spaces and places that he hadn't been since the Reagan administration, all right? And what I don't need you to do in that point is to be like, well, I can't, well, if you finally trying to take me out to the dairy. Queen, where were you during the Elijah series?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you know, settle down, Mama. Your response over the next seven weeks, the most helpful thing you could do is this right here. Ready? Hercules, hercules. That's what we need, okay? Because we need help. We need encouragement. And one of the things that we have provided to help is this, is that my wife, Gretchen,

has written a series of devotionals for the next seven weeks aimed directly at the women of the Church of 1122. Now listen, boys, if you don't read these things, you're too dumb to talk to, okay? Because they're just Bible verses, and it's true for all of us, but the intended audience is for women. And if you will just text the word divo to 44, 1122, then you'll get these ladies, and they will correspond with the weeks that we're talking about as we talk about what it means to Sam Furnham and act like men. So that's where we're going to be for the next seven weeks. What does it look like to stand firm and act like men? Well, I stole that title from the Bible. First Corinthians, chapter 16, 13 and 14 says this.

Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love. And the way to best understand that verse, in my opinion, is that phrase, act like men is like the hub of the middle of the wheel and the imperatives around it or how we are to act like men. And here's what's crazy. I taught this series, a version of this series, nine years ago. and you think about how much has changed in the last nine years.

In fact, nine years ago, I didn't even have to answer the question, what is a man? These days, we have people in very high positions of power in our government and country that can't even answer the question about what's the difference between a male and a female. Do you realize there's not a three-year-old on the planet that unless you're trying to trick them, that they can't determine the difference between the mommies and the daddies, and we have Supreme Court justices that can't understand the difference?

We live in a lunatic society right now. So, biologically speaking, okay, bottom shelf, we're talking about adult human males. That's what a man is. But biblically, it takes a lot more to be a man than just having an X, Y, chromosome. So the question is, what is a man? Well, I'm a man.

I've been one for a long time. And there's a lot of things about me. I love to hunt. I love to fish. My favorite color is camo. I love the bulldogs. I love my wife. I love my kids.

I got a bunch of tattoos. I work out. I drive a Harley. I got guns. A lot of them. More than I have fingers. Could have one on me right now. That's just true.

I do the majority of my grocery shopping with a stick and a string. I love chicken wings. I love cold beer. That's right. Not too much. Just the right amount. And none of that makes me a man. It makes me awesome, but not a man.

That you could be a scoop neck, skinny jeans, scarf wearing, and vegan, sipping a latte at your hipster coffee shop. And theoretically, you too could be a man, all right? Because one of the things I really want to avoid in this is, you've heard me say this 10,000 times. For every mile of road, there's two miles of ditch. And over the last several years, what we've seen a lot of is a bunch of men abdicating responsibility for manhood and just laying on the couch and being,

and really doing nothing and anything manly being called toxic. And in the last two years, really, you've seen this kind of resurgence of the alpha male. No problem with that and praise God for that. But if all we do is come out of the ditch of abdication and just wreck our truck in the other ditch of aggression and abuse, that is not what it means to be a man. So this whole series is not about a bunch of chest beating. The whole series is not like man up and cowboy up and be the kind of man I am. No, no, no, no.

This is the series where we are calling people to be the kind of man. The Bible has called us to be. That a man is a prophet priest, servant king, provider, and protector. But men, we make no apologies for being a man. Because it was God's idea that he created you as a man. Genesis chapter 1, verse 26 and 27, says this. then God said let us make man in our image and after our likeness. By the way, image is masculine and likeness is feminine.

And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. Verse 27. So God created man in his own image. In the image of God, he created him. Now check this out. This is very binary. Male and female, he created them.

An attack on gender is an attack on the character and nature of God. And listen to me, and if you're confused about your gender, I am not here to beat you up. Not at all. I love you and we want to help. And God is not a God of confusion. And he loves you and he knows what he's doing when he created you. And what we need to do is not try to align our bodies with our own mind. What we need to do is align our body to mind with God.

God's created order, and that is the best thing for us. So if manhood is God's idea, then you've got to ask, well, what went wrong? I mean, what in the world happened? How in the world have we gone from the Apostle Paul and William Wallace and John Wayne to grown men with beards and dresses mocking the Lord's Supper at the Summer Olympics? What went wrong? Well, there's a lot. Quite honestly, the first time I ever heard some of this content was from a friend of mine now.

His name is John Bryson. I heard him at an Acts 29 conference probably like 15 years ago. And the ultimate answer of what went wrong is this, sin. Sin went wrong. And we could talk about how those things have been manifested in our society over the last couple hundred years. You could talk about the racialization of our society and how it ripped families apart. We could talk about the industrial revolution that separated families. This is where things like the lazy boy and the lunchbox were created and the best.

and the best hours of men's day, they were off working in some factory instead of raising kids. We could talk about the woke mind virus that has infected our world lately where our society has lost its ever-loving mind. Do you realize that we are one of the very few societies in all of history

that have no process by which we declare boys becoming men? A long time ago when I was in seminary, back in the 1900s, I spent an entire semester, a whole summer I spent in eastern Africa. And one of the things that we did is we spent time with the Messiah tribe, a bunch of warriors. And it was really great. There was about 12 or 14 of us from my seminary, and we were all there. And I was the only one that got invited to the inside of the village, because as they looked at the seminarians, I was the only one that they felt like looked anything like a warrior.

And if you had been to seminary, you'd know exactly what I'm talking about, okay? And so when I was meeting with the tribal chieftain, he asked me, in your culture, when does a boy become a man? And I thought, man, that's a really good question. I don't know. I mean, think about it. In America, when does a boy become a man? Depends on who you ask. I mean, Obamacare says 26.

25, you can live on your mom's insurance. 26, you've got to get you on. Budweiser says 21. The United States Army 18. Xbox said 17. By the way, there's no such thing as a mature video game. You should jot that down, all right? The DMV says 16.

Disney says 10. You've got to pay adult prices at 10. The only place I can find any agreement in our culture is both Disney and Delta Airlines agree two years old and you're an adult. Do you realize for the first time in all of human history that we don't know when a boy becomes a man? In fact, until about 75 years ago, there were only two classifications of male. You were either a boy or you were a man. And it takes men to bestow manhood upon a generation of boys. Right now, we've got a bunch of boys trying to bestow manhood on other boys.

And the way boys define it is by how much they can consume. What it means to be a man, it means to take responsibility. And this delayed manhood is what sociologists call it. adolescence. It's kind of this middle ground. It's like physically a man but takes the responsibility of a boy. Sort of a boy, sort of a man. I call it a dude. And a dude is a dangerous thing. A dude is like a boy that can shave. Listen, my daddy used to tell me men are like flatbed trucks. They drive straighter with a heavy load, amen. And the problem is, is when you got boys trying to bestow manhood upon other boys, then it's all about how much

can I consume. It makes me a man. If I can make more money or where I'm from, drive the biggest drug or have the biggest muscles or drink the most beer or sleep with the most girls. And it is a crisis that we have. So what's gone wrong? Well, there's been a couple of responses to this manhood crisis. One is we live in this kooky world that says, well, you know, there's really no difference between men or women. Everybody's just kind of the same. And there's a spectrum and you can switch teams that anytime you want. And that's crazy. I mean, absolutely crazy. I don't know if you realize this, but boys and girls are different. I've raised one of each.

They couldn't be more different. And generalities are generally true. When pine cones would fall off the tree in my backyard, JP would make them grenades. Reagan would make them friends. And boys and girls, males and females, we image God differently. And right now, we've got a bunch of parents that don't know what to do with these little boys. because they're rambunctious and they want to be outside

and they want to break stuff and they want adventure and they want risk and they want all these things and I've got some mamas especially single mamas God bless you and they say what's wrong with my boy and I tell them there's nothing wrong with your boy your boy is an image bearer of the most high God and the Bible says that the Lord is a warrior

and the Lord is his name. I had a mom out here I mean a sweet sweet sweet mom asking very good mom questions a single mom. And she says, my son wants to play with little guns, but it makes me so nervous. And I'm like, listen, Mama, if you don't give little Timmy guns, here's what he's going to do. Every stick that falls out of the tree is going to become a bazook.

He's going to chew his grilled cheese into a Glock 9 because the boy's a warrior. The boy is his name. And the reason that you let little Timmy play with the Nerf guns today is because there may be a day where he's going to lay down those toy guns and pick up real guns and sit on a wall to defend and protect our freedom so that we can gather here and worship Jesus freely. There's nothing wrong with the boy. God did that to you. Now listen, and quite honestly, this got me in a lot of trouble before,

so let me make sure I say it again for those of you in the back. And the church has not been a lot of help in the last hundred years. Because a lot of churches have asked men to come in and act like women. And listen, man, there's no doubt women are better than men. I mean, it's not even close. Look at you. Like literally, look at you. the dude your second next to look at you it's not even close but the church is called a lot of

men to come in and act like women they think the 11th commandment is be nice and so we tell men all right here's what it means to be a Christian okay we just want you come in be quiet be nice we're going to sing some prom songs to Jesus we're sitting circles talk about our feeling here's a robe I don't think I would do that either bro this is why at this church we call men to act like men this is what I've told you before. Listen, all of my shirts look basically the same. Just snap buttoned shirts. That's what I have. If I put on one of my shirts, I look fine. I don't look great. I can't do great. This is all I have. I look fine. When Gretchen puts on one of her shirts, she looks great. If I get home today and Gretchen's got one of my shirts on, guess what? She looks great. If she comes home and

I got on her blouse, not great. And for too long, the church has been a blouse. Listen, I'm here to tell you that we're saved, not soft. Let me put it on the bottom shelf, okay? Gentlemen, you do not have to check your testicles at the door in order to follow after Jesus. In fact, those were his idea, too. You've got to grow a pair, stand up and act like men, but the strength that God has given us is not for us. And when men lead in love well, everybody flourishes. Of course, everything God creates, the enemy corrupts, and we've seen all kinds of

of men misuse their masculinity, but that is not what we have been called to. So God formed you on purpose. And when something has gone this wrong, sometimes you've got to go all the way back to the beginning, to its origin to see what its purpose is. So in Genesis chapter 2, we've got to go really, really fast here. You've got to listen faster than you normally do. Genesis 2.5, the Bible says this, when no bush of the field was yet in the land, and no small plant of the field had yet sprung up for the

The Lord God had not caused it to rain on the land, and there was no man to work the ground, and a mist was going up from the land, and was watering the whole face of the ground. The Lord God formed the man. Everything else, he spoke into existence, but when he creates the very first man, he forms him together of the dust of the ground. The word dust in Hebrew is Adamah, this is wherever you get the name Adam. Of the dust of the ground, and he breathed into his nostrils, the breath of life. That word for breath, you know this, is ruah.

And the man became a living creature. That word ruah can be translated, breath or spirit. And so when God forms the very first man, he is a shell of a male, but it is not yet a man of God. I know in our campuses, everywhere from Orlando to Brunswick and everywhere in between, and those of you watching in prison and online and on Pando, there's a whole bunch of people that are showing up this weekend. and externally you are the shell of a male but you have yet to receive the spirit of God and you are not the man that God has called you to be yet.

You're like what C.S. Lewis would call men without chest. And then what God wants us to know is that he gets face to face with his very first creation. This is not a Steph Curry three-pointer from the third heaven. This is nostril to nostril. And he breathed the rule of God. and then Adam opens his eyes and he's face to face with his heavenly father. And that's what every single one of us were created for.

And without him, you can't be who God wants you to be. This is why the temporary things that this world will never satisfy. fellas, some of you are crushing it, man. I mean, you realize one of you in this room is the richest guy in this room. Do you realize this? Think about it. It ain't me. I promise you, I'm in ministry, all right?

One of you is the richest guy in this room. and I don't care how much money you make. You're going to lay your head on the pillow and think, is this it? That ain't it. You were created for more. One of you guys is the strongest guy in this room. Also not me.

I'm 52 years old, so it ain't going to be me ever again. And I don't care how much you can bench your squad or rock or whatever. Eventually, time and gravity ain't your friend. You're going to lose it. One of you fellows is the best-looking guy in the room. Obviously me and the most humble. And none of the temporary things in this world. will scratch that eternal itch that God put in you.

Verse 8 of the Lord God planted a garden in the Eden, in the east, and check this out. And there he put the man he had formed. Notice the man was not created in the garden. The woman was going to be created in the garden, and the man was created out in the wilderness. I hope that makes a bunch of sense to you. I didn't make that up. The first time I read that was John Eldridge and Wilde Hart, a great book. This is why I meant, honestly, this is why I go out into the woods to meet with the Lord.

Years ago, we were on a hunting encounter, and my man, Matt, cooking ham cookie sitting right here on the corner with a really good look bald and gray beard wise wise good looking fellow right over there and we'd been hunting i said did you see anything he said no i didn't see anything but the devil didn't see me because it's hard for the devil to find you in the woods amen you see we were created out in the wilderness and placed into the garden verse nine and out of the ground the Lord God made to spring up every tree that is pleasant to sight and good for food the tree of life was in the midst of the garden and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and then what God is going to do is God is going to give Adam three things under the banner

of worship and this is the responsibility that God is giving the very first man check this out and the Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and keep it the first thing that God gives Every man is this, work to enjoy. Work to enjoy. Work is not a result of the fall. Work is a gift of God. That work is given us by God that we have been called as co-creators with God to subdue and cultivate. That what we have been called to do is join God to rearrange the raw goods of this world through human flourishing.

Which, by the way, means there is no such thing as a sacred, secular divide. It's not like my job is holy because I teach the Bible on the weekends and your job is secular because you do whatever you do. Hey, listen, I mean, like you might build houses or have some part of this. You realize you're not just rearranging sticks and stones. You are participating with God to create the kind of environment whereby God can raise up families. Do you realize what a big deal that is? And so work has given to us by God as a gift. And listen, like my daddy said, again, men are like flatbed trucks.

They drive better with a heavy load. And boys, you don't just need a job. You need a career. But while you're looking for that career, you need a job. You got to get out and do something. You can't just sit on your couch and vote for people that'll pay you to sit on your couch. That's not your job. We have to participate with God in work.

Listen, I told you before, when I was in college, I was in the pre-med program, which is hilarious. I had just gotten accepted to med school. Can you imagine if I was your doctor? I don't know why you laugh. You hurt my feeling, but anyway, I'd be terrible, but I'd be efficient, okay? I'd be an orthopedic, that's what I would do, and you'd come in and be like, hey, my shoulder hurts when I'd do that. I'm like, all right, don't do that.

That'll be a half million dollars. All right, next, that's what we'd do. And then God called me out of that, called me to go to ministry, and I had to go tell my dad, I'm not going to med school, I'm going to seminary. So I took him to subway and we sat down. I said, Danny, I'm going to go to seminary. He said, boy, what's seminary? He said, it's a preacher school. He said, what?

Why you need a school for that? You only work half a day a week and study one book. I was like, I don't know, but I got to go. He said, well, what are you going to do? And I said, well, I'm going to be a youth pastor. And then he said this work, this should be a proverb, I'm telling you. He said, listen to me, boy, you don't get them and go to fun. You get them and go to work.

Now, your work can be fun. There are times when mine is. but God has called us to work. And this relentless pursuit of comfort is killing us as Americans. We have been called to grind. We have been called to go to work. I mean, think about this, boys.

Do you know what Paul tells Timothy? Paul tells Timothy, a man that does not provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever. What does that even mean? Where do unbelievers go? Hell, you can say, one guy said, hey.

You can say hell. I say it in here all the time. Hell! If you don't believe in Jesus, you're going to hell. You're like, that's mean. Where do you get to hell? It's real bad. Apparently, there's a basement in hell.

And when unbelievers get there, be like, oh, you didn't have a job. Come down here where it's even worse than the rest of the people dying of the lake of fire for all eternity. Yeah, you get up and go to work. A lazy man is a dangerous thing. It's what gangs are full of.

It's what prisons are full of. It's what casinos are full of. I'm telling you. Dangerous thing. Think about this. When did David's life go to hell? In the time of year when Kings went to war, David was sitting on the couch,

advocating his responsibility. And then he began to make decision after decision after decision that screwed up everything. The first thing that God has given to every man has worked to enjoy. Verse 16, and the Lord God commanded the man saying, You may surely eat of every tree of the garden.

The NIV says you are free to eat of every tree of the garden but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die. The second thing that God has given every man is a will to obey

is a will to obey that joy is found in the obedience that God is the author of life and when we do life God's way everything goes better I'm just telling you and in fact if you think God is a God of a bunch of rules you should read your Bible

before sin ended the world there was only one thou shalt not. He said, I love you enough. If you eat of that one tree, it'll kill you. So don't do that. But you can eat of all of these trees. There were some other very positive commandments,

like subdue and cultivate. My favorite commandment, I've told you before, man, was be fruitful and multiply. That was a commandment, glory to God. If you don't know Hebrew, that's Hebrew for bow, wow, chicawowow, praise Jesus. In the context of marriage. And listen, man, if that offends you, you're going to hate it here.

So you should just go ahead and pray about that, all right? That God gave us the gift of sex in the context of marriage for procreation and recreation. Can I get an amen? There's some dude here for the first. I'm like, Martha, this is my favorite church I've ever been to by God. It's God's God's idea, man. He gave us a will to obey. Verse 18.

And then the Lord God said, it is not. Not good. This is the first not good in all of creation. It's not good that man should be alone. I will make a helper fit for him. Boys, do we need help? Oh, Lord, yes. The third thing that he gives a man is a woman to love.

A woman to love. He gives every man work to enjoy, a will to obey, and woman to love. Now, listen, if you're a single guy and you're thinking, well, I don't have a woman to love, yes, you do. You got your mama. and you've got all of these sisters in Christ. And let me tell you, Coach Lee, my football coach used to tell me all the time, boy, you play like you practice. And if you think that you cannot love the women that God has in your life,

and then one day show up on a Saturday with the tucks and make some vow, and then all of a sudden you're going to know how to love, honor, and cherish this woman, then you're too dumb to talk to. And listen, men, we are called to be prophet, priests, servant king, provider, and protector. Prophets tell the truth. Priests connect people with God. Servant kings create the kind of environment

whereby the people under our authority can flourish. We are to provide and to protect. It goes on to say, now out of the ground, the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them and whatever the man called every living creature,

that was his name. And the man gave names to all the livestock to the birds of the heavens and every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a hilt-a-fit for him. So Adam's sitting there, and here comes the animals. And I think, this is just conjecture on my part, I think he was very creative at first. He was like duck-bill platypus, rhinoceros.

But eventually he's like, Lord, this ain't doing it to me. Rat, nat, cat, bat, let's go. What we got here, all right? And then the Bible says, so the Lord God calls the deep sleep to fall upon the man. And while he slept, he took one of his ribs, and he closed up his place with flesh. and the rib that the Lord God had taken for the man he had made into woman

and brought her to the man. Notice the order here. If you're a single guy, raise your hand as high as you can. I'm going to pick on you, but not too hard on. Higher, higher, boys, come on. That's why you're single, because you're like, stop. There, all right? Okay.

Notice the order. Adam gets his world in order, names all the animals, and wants his house is in order, then and only then, as he prepared, for God to bring in one of his daughters into that order that he has created. Get your life in order. Sometimes I'm disciplining these younger guys, and I'm like, I wish I had a girl.

I was like, dude, what would you do with a girl? You live at your mom's house, there, Scooter. And then they're like, you know, when that 22-year-old brother, oh, I know what I would do. All right, Romeo, when that 90 seconds a dynamite was up, what about the rest of your life? I mean, don't you want to live indoors and eat hot food to be able to raise people? You understand? You've got to get your life in order. Like if you were God, would you trust you with one of his daughters?

And then once he gets his world in order, then God gives him Eve. Look at verse 23. I hope you got your Bible's open. If you'll see this, the translators have indented this next part because they want you to know that these words are sung. that this is the first R&B song in the history of humanity that Adam sings, verse 23, when he sees his naked wife,

then the man said, this at last. That's what he sings, man. This is bone of my bones, the flesh of my flesh, and she shall be called woman. Man, if you knew Hebrew, you'd laugh out loud right here. Woman is so close to the word that means mine,

not in a possessive way, but like in a oneness way. Like he sees a dog, he's like Labrador, well, they didn't have golden doodles and all kind of like demonic mixed breeds. They just had like the one thing. And then he sees his naked wife and he's like, shotgun! Whoa, man! That's what he says, okay? Because she was taken out a man, therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh.

And the man and his wife were both naked and we're not ashamed. Anybody over 40? You don't see a miracle? naked, unashamed. Unbelievable. Notice the order here. First of all, they shall leave father and mother. Man, I should do a whole sermon series on that, Rebecca Maxwell.

When you get married, your mom and daddy had now become your extended family. They don't get to tell you what to do anymore. Your marriage is your family. And you don't start a family when you start adding kids. You add to the family that God created. Notice you leave and cleave. then you get naked and there is no shame. Our culture gets this things backwards

and people get naked before they leave and cleave and they bring shame into their marriage. And this is God's intended order. And everything goes awesome for less than a page in my Bible. And then what went wrong? Chapter 3. Now the serpent was more crafted than any other beasts of the field that the Lord God had made.

And he said to the woman, did God actually say You see, the devil is the father of lies, and he always wants you to question at least three things, the word of God, the work of God, and the worth of God. He wants to come to you when you want to do something different than God's instructions tell us to do, and he wants you to stand in authority over the Word of God and think you know better than God.

He wants you to question the work of God. That's you. He wants you to think when Jesus died on the cross, it didn't count for you. And he wants you to question the worth of God. He wants you to think, all right, if God really loved me, wouldn't he take better care of me? He's not worthy of my worship. He's a liar, and that's what he's saying to Eve.

And fundamentally, what he wants Eve to think, he wants me and you to think is God is not a good dad, and that we're not loved by him. And so he says to the woman, did God actually say, you shall not eat of any tree in the garden? And the woman said to the serpent, we may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, you shall not eat of the fruit of the tree in the garden. but God said, you shall not eat of the fruit of the trees in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it lest you die. This is classic legalism. He didn't say anything about the touching part. But the servant said to the woman, you will not surely die.

For God knows that when you eat of it, your eyes will be open and you will be like God, knowing good and evil. Listen, if you just know these two things, it will change everything about everything, about everything. That he's a good dad and you are loved by him. That's it. He can be trusted, especially when you don't understand. what he tells you to do. You see, God loves you, and Jesus is the proof. And everything that the enemy tells you, he wants to undermine those truths. Verse six. So, when the woman saw that the tree was good

for food, that's called lust of the flesh, and that it was a delight to the eyes, that's called Lest of the Eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, that's called the pride of life. She took of his fruit and ate it, and so also gave some to her husband, who was? What does it say, fellas? That's right. You're just as quiet as Adam. That's the problem. With her, the most damning prepositional phrase to masculinity in all the Bible. Literally in Hebrew, it means elbow to elbow. For the longest time, I thought Adam was out doing man stuff, you know, grilling and killing and waxing his bass boat or something, and then Eve just screwed it up. That is not the problem. The problem was Adam is standing right there elbow to elbow with his wife while a snake is talking to

her. And it's not that he didn't do something wrong. He didn't do anything at all. And he ate. Verse seven, and then the eyes of both were open and they knew that they were both naked and they sewed fig leaves together and they made themselves loincloths. And the very first religion is born. You see, what we see right here in Genesis chapter three is that every single one of us reject God. Some of us reject God through rebellion, like the forbidden fruit. I do what I want. sex drugs, rock and roll, rebellion. Some of us reject God through religion. God, I don't need you.

By the works of my own hands, I can manufacture something to cover my own sin and shame. And both of them will separate us from God. Check this out. And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden of the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God

among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called the man and said to him, where are you? such an important question. Men, where are you? I mean, where are you in relationship with God? I hope you realize this. Even until this day, the God, the creator of all of the universe, is walking through

the garden of your very life in this moment, calling out your name going, where are you? And your answer to that will determine whether you believe the gospel or not. Here's evidence that you don't believe the gospel. when you sin, when you struggle, when you stumble, when you fall, and you go, oh no, I've screwed up, don't tell dad, and you run and hide. That means you don't understand what Christ has done for us. The essence of the gospel is, oh no, I've sinned, I've screwed up. Somebody called dad, I need help. And Adam leads his family to run away from God.

God shows up and says, where are you? Verse 10. And Adam said, I heard. heard the sound of you in the garden, by the way, notice who God goes to talk to. Adam. Adam was not the first to eat, but Adam was the one that is responsible for everything that happens in his house. And Adam said, I heard the sound of you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself and God said, who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I have commanded you not to eat? Now listen, I think what God is doing

here is God is giving Adam the first opportunity to stand up and act like a man to take responsibility for his what he has created here. Dad, has ever coached T-ball? This is T-ball spirituality right here. He's like, all right, buddy, I'm going to put this thing right here on the T, okay? Who told you you were naked? Now all you got to do is go, my bad. That one's on me. That's my fault. But then he goes to this classic man move, right? Dodge, dip, duck, dodge. That's what he's going to do. He's going to blame three of the four beings that exist in all of creation at this point.

And the man says, the woman who you gave to be with me, she gave me the fruit and I ate it. I mean, one of my friends, mentors, Doug Field, said, this is the lamest thing, but you'll never forget it. He says, every time that we blame, we just be lame. That's what it is. How lame can you be? He's like, who told you? And then Adam's like, well, you know what, Lord? I'm not sure it's it's her fault or your fault, but the woman that you gave me, so tell you what, why don't you all go work this out? And when you're ready to apologize, I'll be over here by the figs, okay? He says, the woman who you gave to me with me, she gave me the fruit, and I ate. And then the Lord God said to the woman, what is this that you have done? And the woman said, the servant

deceived me, and I ate. She learned it from her husband. and then the Lord God says to the servant Now what's going to happen in the next rest of chapter 3 is everything that the man had been given as a gift in order to glorify God will be cursed because when sin entered the world it held the door open for all the pain, all the strife, all the guilt, all the shame, all the turmoil that you've ever been through.

And everything was cursed. At the macro level, that's why hurricanes come, down to the micro level. This is why cells don't obey. And everything is cursed. And the first thing that he's going to curse is the will to obey. If you go down to verse 15, God says, I will put enmity between you and the woman, between your offspring and her offspring, and he shall bruise your head and you shall bruise his heel. This is called a proto-evangalion.

That the will to obey is cursed. Listen, I've been a Christian for a long, long time. All right? 30 plus years. I have been a believer in Jesus Christ. And yet, and listen, I'm into the Jesus thing, man. I promise. I've told you before, I am a professional Christian.

You guys pay me to do this. You're good for nothing. Y'all pay me to do what Jesus says. And yet I would think I would be further along in the sanctification process than I am today. How in the world am I still struggling today as a 52-year-old with some of the things I struggled as a 16-year-old? Anybody prone to wonder, Lord, I feel it, prone to lead the God I love. I preached my face off about two weeks ago about it.

I hope you understand. Why? Because we're broken down here at the soul level, and we have an enemy that wants to steal, kill, and destroy. And I don't even realize this. You ever notice Christians don't sin anymore? They just struggle. Being grouped.

People are like, I'm just struggling with porn. No, you're not, dude. Looking at porn is called a sin. That's called sinning. If you actually struggled against it and fallen. against it and then maybe, maybe you would have some victory over it. Well, the problem is, like Paul says, what is wrong with me? Something is wrong on the inside. What's wrong in the inside is that we have been cursed, that our humanity, our flesh has been cursed. And even when

you ask Jesus to save you, he redeems your heart. And for the moment you get saved to the moment you get glorified and go to be with him, it is a constant battle and struggle between your flesh and the will of God. The will to obey it's. broken. The second thing that gets broken or cursed is that woman to love. This is crazy, man. I mean, the brilliance of the Word of God. The Bible's not an old book. The Bible's a timeless book. The Bible doesn't just tell you what happens. It tells you what always happens. Man, you ever notice the three big struggles in your life at home, at work, and in here? These are the three things that are going to get cursed. And this relationship with your wife is going to get cursed. Listen to what?

the Bible says. To the woman, he said, I will surely multiply pain and childbearing. Sorry, ladies. And check this out, your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you. Rebecca Maxwell sitting right here on the front row. She explained this to me for the first time. 20 years ago, we were in a small group Bible study together. Our families were. And she said, here's the twist. Everything God creates, the enemy corrupts. Wives, you were created as a helper, a helpmate. That is not a derogatory term. Everywhere else in the Old Testament, That word Azaire is used. It describes God's role with Israel.

This is a big deal. We need your help. And so because you were created as a helper, you want to help. But then what happens is what you feel like is helping feels like a hostile takeover to your husband. Because he, the fundamental question that every man has is this, do I have what it takes? And when you correct him all the time and tell him all the things he's doing wrong,

ultimately what it feels like is, no, honey, you don't have what it takes. let me explain because you're looking at me like a deer in the headlights. What must you mean, pastor? Here's what I mean, okay. Remember the last time your husband was telling a story? And every dude knows you never let the truth get in the way of a good story. Details are just kind of part of the window dressing. And so he's like, all right, so there I was.

It was six months ago, Labor Day weekend, we were at the beach. You're like, actually, honey, it was a year ago, and it was Memorial Day, and we were at the lake. And right now, you're thinking, what's wrong with that? He's lucky to have me. Oh, bless you. Because when you do that, here's what you're doing. You know what? You don't have what it takes to even tell a good story.

And you're not His Holy Spirit. And if all you ever do is correct and coerce, you sound more like a dog trainer than an encourager. An encouragement on the lips of a wife are like gold in the heart of a man. Listen, I am a, in my career, this thing that I do as a pastor, okay? I am a relatively successful pastor. I get flown all over the place. People show up.

I say things and write them down and all of that. I'm telling you. That happens. And people say very, very nice things to me, and it means a lot to me. But nothing encourages me like when Gretchen tells me something nice. Do you know what I feel like a man? It's not after preaching all weekend to a men's conference to 3,000 men

and signing books and taking pictures. No, no, no. It's when she can't get the lid off the jelly jar. And she's like, here, honey. And I go, there you go, babe. He's so strong. Like, her going to leave. I'm telling you, man. That thing has been cursed.

And so later on, here's what he says. Later on, he says, in verse 17, to Adam, he says, because you have listened to the voice of your wife, fellas, did you know you're not supposed to listen to the voice of your wife? And you're like, you're down, I'm excellent at that. No, no, no, that's not what it means. You got to go deeper there. You're supposed to listen to her heart. Remember the last time you listened to her voice?

Remember you you were riding in the truck? She's looking out of the window. You know something's wrong. And you said, hey, baby, what's wrong? And what'd she say? Nothing. And you went, sweet, all right? You got to go deeper, man.

Got to listen to her heart. You got to pursue her heart. Let me tell you, one of the best ways to pursue her heart. Is that when she's talking about feelings, you answer with feelings. and when she's talking about facts, then you can answer with facts. If you mix these things, you're going to screw things up.

I've learned this a hard way. If she says something like, I feel fat, feeling. Don't answer with, well, don't eat so much. Fact. It's not what we're talking about. And men, one of our biggest problems of manhood is this, is oftentimes we can treat our wives like that big game animal that we used to pursue.

We got all dressed up, we learned about them, we pursued them, we did everything it took. Then we bagged them, mount them, put them on the wall, and then ignore them for the rest of their life. Song of Solomon says, husbands, remember the wife of your youth. That doesn't mean remember what she was like back then. Remember what was going on in you

when you got her to go out with you. Boys, I look around the room, you have outpunted your coverage, something serious, okay? You remember the things that you used to do to get her to fall for you? We are to continue to pursue her that way. Remember what you used to do?

You would ask her out. Remember? You would take her on dates. And listen, man, you 25 and under, you got it made with apps and social media. We used to have to physically stalk these women and be like private investigators to see if they were crazy or not. And take a risk and ask them out. And fellas, ask her out. Of course she's going to say, no.

Look at you. Just keep asking. Keep going. And what would you do, man? Remember this, boys, you take a shout. You'd put on a shirt with a button. You'd go to a restaurant where you had to sit down. You didn't get your food through a window from a clown.

You would pursue her. You'd go eat frozen yogurt. What grown man eats frozen yogurt? A dating one, that's what I'm telling you. You see, this relationship has been attacked by sin and the enemy. And listen, at home, the Bible calls us men to love. men to love our wives like Christ love the church. I know what some of you are saying.

Pastor, you don't know my wife. She's crazy. I mean, she walks in the room and laser beams come out of her eyes and puppies catch on fire and burn up and go to hell. Listen, I'm not saying you didn't choose poorly, but here's what I'm telling you. In the relationship between Christ and his bride, who's the crazy one? And all he does is pursue relentlessly. Yeah, we are to love our wives like. Christ loved the church.

And listen, man, when you get sideways at home with your wife, you've got two options. You can be right or you can be married. You know, where you get that? The cross. Jesus could have shown up on this planet. Says, I'm right. Y'all are wrong. That ain't my fault.

I didn't sin. I'm going to heaven. See you later. Actually, I never see you again. You're going to hell. You can deal with that on your own. It's not what he does. That he takes responsibility for things that are not his fault like our sin.

And he does whatever it takes to reconcile us to the Heavenly Father. and that's how we're supposed to love our eyes. You want to stand up and act like a man? You start right there. So our will to obey is broken. Our relationship with the woman to love is broken. And then thirdly, work to enjoy is damaged by sin. He says, curse it is the ground because of you.

Ever notice work is hard? It's a result of sin. So what do we do? What do we do? Let me tell you what the next seven weeks not. It's not a pep rally because it just won't work. The try harder method just won't work. You see the reality is, again, this is from John Eldridge Wild at Heart. He says that the fundamental question of every man is this, do I have what it takes? It drives most of what we do.

The reality of the gospel is you've got to get to that place where you look in the mirror and you go, oh, no, I don't have what it takes to be a man. There's no way I can pull this thing. thing off on my home. I don't think I can stand up and act like men and fight and be strong and let everything I do be done in love. Oh no, what am I going to do? And the moment you get to the place where you realize I need somebody to do for me what I can't do for myself, then congratulations, men. Then and only then will you be able to be who God has called you to be. You'll never be able to stand up and act like men until you first bend your knee to the God man, Jesus Christ, that the knight never gets to swing his sword until he first bends his knee to the

king and is anointed and appointed by him. This is what we have been called to. And you see it in the next verses. In verse 20, it says the man called his wife's name Eve because she was the mother of all living. And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skin and clothed them. This is a foreshadowing of the gospel. Because of God's love for them, he was going to take care of their sin. but because of God's justice that sin must be dealt with.

And so he's going to kick him out of the garden, and then he's going to do for them what they can't do for themselves. And for the very first time the blood of an animal is shed for the covering of sin. It is a foreshadowing of what Jesus Christ is going to do, that the blood of the Lamb of God was going to be shed, not to just cover our sin, but to take it away. Here's the point of this entire series, this entire book. It's to stand up and act like a man, you must first bow down,

and surrender to Jesus. That is the beginning of what it means to be a man. This was the beginning of the teaching ministry of Jesus. This is how he starts out the sermon on the Mount. His longest, greatest sermon ever recorded. He starts it out this way. It's called the Beatitudes. I've told all this a hundred times.

He says, blessed are the poor in spirit. The poor and spirit mean, blessed are you when you realize you've done. don't bring any merit to the equation. Blessed are you? Blessed am I when I realize I need you because I can't do this on my own. The way my friend Jeff Copps said it is the three most dangerous words

a man can say is I got this. Because fellas as a man, as a husband, as a dad, we ain't got this. We need to come to Jesus and say, Jesus, I ain't got this. I mean, I can try. Oh my gosh, I can try. And actually, fellas, we terrorize our wives. When we go to some man conference and we've neglected them for eight months

and then we get all cowboyed up, you know, hadn't taken them on a date in four years. Now you go to Olive Garden the last four days. She's like, this ain't it, boys. Because your willpower will never be enough. It's not until we bend our need of Jesus and say, I'm broken and I need your help. And then what's crazy and like crazy and credible is Peter says this. When you do bend your need of Jesus, when you do surrender to Christ, when you do say, I'm broken in spirit, I got nothing.

And Jesus says, blessed are the meek, blessed are you fellas, not when you're weak, but when you're weak, but when you are strong, but you turn the reins of your life over to a different leader and you say here, use me, lead me, guide me. when you surrender your life to Jesus, he puts only inside of every one of us the very spirit of God, the same spirit that brought him up out of the grave. And if the tomb is empty, anything is possible, which means if you have the spirit of God in you, Peter says, his divine power has given us

everything we need for life and godliness. In other words, his divine power has given us everything we need to accomplish everything that he has called us to accomplish, and it was his idea to call you to be a man, not yours. But this will only happen when you bend your knee to Jesus. So on your way in, you've got this card right here. I want you to get it out.

I want you to look at it if you're a man. We need pictures sometimes. See these pictures? Bottom shelf, boys. Look at that picture. This is what it means to be a godly man. Right there in the middle. It says act like men.

Be a godly man. And around it, it tells us how this is what we're going to spend the next six weeks on. But what it looks like to be watchful, to stand firm, to be strong, and do everything in love. We're going to do a week on how to be a husband, what the Bible says about being a dad. Okay? If you flip it over on the other side,

there's a pledge right here. And I'm asking you, if you are ready to bend your need of Jesus and say, God, I need your help to do this thing. And listen, if you're not going to take this thing seriously, then give it back. I ain't got time to play church. You understand?

But if you say, I want what God has for me, but I need his help, then I want you to say, sign this thing. You're not going to turn it in. I know what it says. I wrote it. I want you to take your phone and snap that little QR code. If you don't know how to do it, ask your kids or ask your wife, and she'll show you how to do it. Don't take a picture of it. Little yellow thing is going to pop up, hit the yellow thing. It's going to take you to a website, give us some

information so that over the next seven weeks, we're going to send you encouragement and accountability to help you. Anybody need encouragement and accountability, fellas? Me too. I'm signing up for this too. And listen, our 20-year-olds put it together because, good Lord, I can't see this. God bless your eyes and your flexibility. So you have to take a picture of it, expand it, put it somewhere you can see it.

And you're saying, by the power of Christ, with my knee, bended to him, I want to be able to stand up and do what God has called me to be. Because here's the thing, man, when men lead in love well, everybody flourishes. And so if you're ready, not because of a pep talk, but because of God's calling in your life,

as a man, as a granddad, as a single man, as a married man, whatever it is. If you were ready to stand firm, to stand up and act like men, and you were going to be committed over these next weeks, pledging yourself that you're going to build new habits in your life that you hope change you, and check this out, and change generations of your family to come, then I want you to stand up right now and say, all right, I'm in. I'm in. Praise God, I want you to stand up.

Now, listen, if you're not, don't. Okay, there we go. You're watching in prison, I want you to stand up. You're watching online, I want you to stand up. And if you were here with your brother, your son, and especially your husband, ladies, I would love you to just reach out and put your hand on them. And I'm telling you that encouraging touch, I'm telling you, it's going to mean a hundred times more than any word that I have just spoken. And fellas, I'm going to pray for you. And when we get done here, I just, on your way out, if you've signed this card, you're going to keep this, you're going to put it somewhere as a constant reminder.

And we're going to give you one of these little bracelet rubber band things that just say, staying firm. A part of the reason we do this, man, is we have about 35,000 people that show up every weekend in the buildings all over Jacksonville from Orlando to Jessup and everywhere in between. And it is an encouraging thing when you see some other brothers in the gym and at the coffee shop and all over the place. We can hold each other account. Let me pray for us. Our good and gracious Heavenly Father, God, I thank you that you have not called us to cowboy up, to buck up, to man up. That's not what you've called us to.

You've called us to bend our knee to the God man, Jesus Christ. God, we acknowledge that we have an enemy who is a liar, he's a thief, and he's only come to steal, kill, and destroy. And if he can take out these men, then by definition it's going to leave the ones that we love the most defenseless for him to ravage. so God we say not on our watch and Lord oh would you do our work do your work first and foremost in us God may we be the husbands that you've called us to be God may we be the workers that you've called us to be God may we be the followers that you've called us to be but Lord that first starts by us bending our

need to you God we ask for the miraculous God we thank you for your justice we thank you more for your grace that you have done for us what we could not do for ourselves. And Lord, we just want to ask you to cash the checks that you have promised. That your divine power has given us everything that we need to be who you have called us to be. Lord, I pray that for generations this part of the world would be different because these men will stand firm and act like that. We pray this in Jesus' name.

Amen. Now, ladies, if you would please stand and join us. Praise God, we are going to respond to the gospel. We're going to sing, and men, godly men sing. Paul told Timothy, you tell the godly men to lift their hands high, holy hands in the sanctuary. We're going to bring our first and best because godly men are generous men who establish that God is first in their life. So we bring our first and miss, and we're going to pray. And I almost always ask the men to pray over their wives.

This time, wives, daughters, sisters, this would be an incredible opportunity for you and your husband or your dad or your brother to come down here and you pray a blessing over this man because he needs it. Let's sing, let's bring, let's pray. Let's respond.