The Church of Eleven22 - Wk 2: Forgiveness

Episode Date: April 30, 2017

Forgiveness is the willful decision to cancel someone’s debt against you because at the cross Jesus canceled your debt.

Amen. How are doing, church? Doing all right? It looked good. If you got your Bibles, I hope you do, grab them. We're going to be in Matthew Chapter 18. Matthew Chapter 18. As we continue in this series that we're calling the storyteller,

we just started it last week, because Jesus was the storyteller. That's not the only thing he was, primarily. He's sovereign, savior, king of the cosmos. But in order for us to know what we were being saved from and saved two, he would teach and preach all over the place, and he would tell stories. He would tell these parables, and parable comes from two Greek words that means to cast alongside of.

And so he would take a complex concept like the kingdom of God and forgiveness that people don't know a whole lot about, and he would cast that alongside things that people could understand, just common everyday stories, like fishing or farming or college football. He didn't use that one, but he would if he lived today, okay? That kind of thing. And so last week we did a parable on parables in Matthew chapter 13, and if you did your homework. Now, I know you don't even remember what last week was about,

but I do because this is what I do for a living. If you did your homework for last week, and if you did your part to cultivate the soil of your soul this week, then this week will be one of the greatest sermons you've ever heard in your life. Not because I'm doing anything differently. I'm just going to sling the seed like I always do, but if it lands on good soil, it will do more in you than you could ever imagine.

And I did last week's sermon to set us up for this week's sermon because you kind of need to do some pre-work for this one. Because this week we're talking about forgiveness. Now, most of the time when you come to church, we talk about what you do when you sin. This week, we're going to talk about what do you do when somebody sins against you. So this sermon is only for those of us in the room who have ever been sinned against. Now, C.S. Lewis says this about forgiveness.

He says, everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive. that's the truth isn't it you see whenever i am the offending party which is most days of my life i always want to lean into the grace of god but whenever i am the offended party then i really want to stand on the justice of god and say get them god and if you will i'm just going to warn you okay the beginning of the sermon is going to be fun we'll kind of wade our way in but when we get into the deep waters the fun is going to be out of the room and because when you talk about real forgiveness very few people actually do this. And so if you will lean in over the next 45 or 50 minutes,

God may do some soul work in you that could change your life forever. And I'm not talking about the sweet by and by one day when you die. Okay, that's taken care of in Christ if you're in him. I'm talking about there's some stuff left undone in your soul because you have not done the gospel-driven work that God would have you to do. So I dare you to lean in. So with that in mind, go to Matthew chapter 18. Matthew chapter 18 is one of the greatest sermons on what it means to forgive to help us understand what forgiveness actually is.

You see, most of the time when people think about forgiveness, they think about feelings. And because your feelings haven't changed, you think that you haven't forgiven somebody. And so we'll see if that's true or not. And so if you pick it up in verse 15, Matthew 18, 15, Jesus says this. He says, if your brother sins against you. Now, that's not a very big if, is it? I mean, it should just be when your brother sins against you. Because let's just be honest.

If you are around people, they are going to sin against you. Do you know why? Because they're sinners. I mean, look at the person next to you. I mean, look at them. Look at them. Sinner. I know, it's your grandma.

Whatever. She's a wretched, blackhearted sinner. Just kind of feel good to say because you're a sinner too, all right? That's why. And so some of you have been looking for the perfect church, and we are the fourth church you've tried in the last four months. Guess what? The problem ain't church, sister, the common denominator is you. And I promise you, if you have not been let down yet, you will be because you're in a room full of sinners, in campuses full of sinners, being led by a great sinner that is me.

So when your brother sins against you. Now here's what's important, though. when somebody sins against you, one of the first questions to ask is, is this my brother or not? In other words, has this person surrendered their life to the Lordship of Jesus Christ? I don't know why, but in the South, the church expects a lost world to act like Jesus is their Lord when they never claimed that he was their Lord. So lost people, act lost. They just do. So the question is, if somebody who is not a follower of Jesus sins against you, the primary conversation that you need to be having with them is not about

their sin against you, but their sin against the Almighty God. And not just about your individual forgiveness of them, but God's ultimate forgiveness of them at the cross. In other words, it's not just a reconciliation conversation between the two of you. It's got to be rooted in their reconciliation with God, the Father, not by what they do, but what Christ has done for them. But if it is your brother, if it's another Christian, if your brother sins against you, The next question that you have to ask is, did they actually sin against you, or did they just get on your nerves?

Because them getting on your nerves is not a sin. As much as I want it to be. I look through the entire book of Proverbs, trying to find one proverb about getting on somebody's nerves, and it's just not there, which means it's very, very important to know the Word of God, that you've got to know the difference between your own personal preferences and the precepts of God.

but when your brother sins against you, here's what Jesus says to do. He says, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. All right. If you'll just do this, it'll change your life forever. Talk to people instead of about them. Talk two people instead of about them.

And it doesn't say tweet him, it doesn't say text him, it doesn't say direct message him. It says, go to his face, not his Facebook, his face. And tell it. Now, honestly, almost nobody actually does this. And I know, because people come to me for counseling.

I would highly recommend you not come to me for counseling. Just listen to sermons. That's everything I know. I promise I'm not like holding the good stuff for a one-on-one meeting, all right? And the first thing I'm going to say to you, when you come with a problem about a person, I'm just going to say, have you talked to this person? And I'm astounded of the number of times people are like, no. I thought, I tell you, you tell God, God gets something.

them. That is not how it works. In fact, in fact, I mean this very reverently, sometimes you can stop praying about it because God's like, I know you've been telling me this for a week. Quit talking to me. Go talk to him. Now, let me tell you what happens to me most of the time when I actually do Matthew 18 and go talk face to face with somebody. You see, it never goes the way it goes in my imaginary conversations. By the way, if you're wondering who you should talk to, whoever you're having those imaginary conversations with. You ever do that? You're driving down the road and just in your mind, you say this thing and they bow down and they ask for forgiveness and then a crowd cheers. That's how my imaginary conversations go.

But when I go to that person and I confront them with whatever it is, I almost always get some information that I didn't have in my imaginary conversation and I almost always end up going, oh, well, I didn't know that. And it changes everything. And so Jesus is saying sometimes reconciliation can happen this quickly that if you just go and tell him his fault between you and his. him alone and if he listens to you you've gained your brother. Verse 16, but if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you that every charge

may be established by the evidence or two or three witnesses. Now, this is not like an intervention and this is not like y'all hold him, I'll get him, that is not what this is. This is because you have other mature, faithful Christians, objective third parties that are willing to come and step in and kind of hear the grievance and help point out the blind not only in your friend, but also in you. This is why you need a disciple group. This is why you need trusted Christians that you have deep, abiding relationships with

so that when there is something that you cannot handle on your own, you can go to those folks and they can help you with this reconciliation. And you need them before you need them. You don't need to wait. If you wait until you need Christian friends to begin to develop, Christian friends, that's like waiting to begin your retirement account when you retire. Guess what? You ain't got a retirement account. You got a problem. And if you find yourself in a situation that you need some help resolving and you don't have people to go to, it's because you

did not begin to build that bank before you actually needed that bank. And so what Jesus is saying here is you get some trusted, mature, objective third party folks to come and help you. Verse 17. and if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. Now, he does not say tell it to the church service, not the weekend thing that we're doing right now, okay? It's not like at the end of the service, I'm going to point out all the sins in the room, but like, all right, you stand up.

Have y'all seen her Facebook? She's a liar. That's not what it means. Although, quite honestly, many churches throughout church history have done that, have just brought people in front of the church service and called out their sins and kicked them out. this is not what it means. He's talking about bringing it to the leadership of the church.

He says, if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. This means like bring some pastors, bring some elders, bring some deacons, bring some folks of spiritual authority that can bring the Word of God into this situation to bring about reconciliation. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Now, throughout church history, a lot of people have been. thought that meant, if you sin and you don't repent, then we're kicking you out of our church. And they have done that. Now, here's the thing I would say.

Jesus is kind of Jesus juke in us. You win this. How did Jesus treat the Gentile and tax collector? He loves them. He rolled out the red carpet for him. He went to the cross and died for their sins. This is how you treat the unrepentant Christian. Now, do you put them in leadership?

No, are they elders? No. But do you roll out the red carpet and offer them the same gospel that Christ on the cross offers you? Yes. Yes. And so that's Jesus like 1, 2, 3, on forgiveness, what do you do? And then verse 18, he gives a little commentary to it. He says, truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven and whatever you loose on earth shall be loose in heaven. This is a really, really big deal. In other words, your earthly relationships have an eternal impact. that you remember the great commandment is to love God and to love one another or to love people. And then he goes on to say two of the most misquoted verses are really quoted out of context verses in the whole Bible. He says, again, I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my father in heaven. Now, a lot of prosperity guys like to quote that verse, this is not praying for a Cadillac. This is praying for a reconciled relationship. And then the next one, a bunch of worship leaders that need to read more than one verse at a time. Use this one, for where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.

This is not a worship verse. This is a verse about reconciliation. Here's what he is saying, that our horizontal relationships are so important to God that any time two people with Jesus in the middle get together to give and offer forgiveness in the name of God, no matter how broken, no matter how damage that relationship is, that God, that God can get involved in a supernatural way. That means there is not one relationship that could be so fractured by sin that the grace poured out of the cross could not put that thing back together.

In other words, if the tomb is empty, then anything is possible, even reconciliation. Amen? And you believe it about like you clap, which is great. Like, I don't know. Maybe, maybe. Okay. Well, that's why Jesus keeps going. Now, verse 2.

21, Peter speaks up. Why? Because anytime there's dead air, Peter is going to open his mouth. And Peter comes up and says to Jesus, now look at his question. Lord, how often will my brother sin against me? Not me against my brother. Why? Because he is an idiot. That's why. This is why I resonate so much with him. Okay. Peter says, Lord, how often will my brother sin against me and I forgive him? As many as seven times. And what you've got to understand, here is Peter is trying to show off all right he's trying to be like I am the greatest disciple of all Lord people sin against me often as you probably know and how many times should I forgive them up to seven seven because he is trying to be like super christian big F on his chest

for faith and his cape just fluttering in the wind seven times and here's why I say this do you know what the standard in the Old Testament is for forgiveness do you know how many times you're supposed to according to the Old Testament, according to the law? Zero. Zero. Forgiveness is not an Old Testament value. Remember, it's eye for eye, tooth for tooth. And the reason it is is because when God calls Israel to be the people of God,

he caused him out of slavery. They don't even know how to be a people yet. And he says, I'm going to be your God, and you're going to be my people. And he gives them the law. And so he's starting with equal retribution, because before Moses comes along and gives the law, it's like, it's not eye for eye. it's eye for head. You put me in the eye, I kill you. You steal my goat, I kill you. You talk about my wife, I kill you. And then Moses comes along. He's like, man, there's a bunch of

headless, toothless eyes, you know, blind people running around. We've got to tone this down a minute, all right? You get poked in an eye, just poke back. Let's start there. And so there's no, it's eye for tooth for tooth, not forgiveness. And then Peter comes along and says, what about seven times? That seems like a lot. And so Jesus is going to reply to him in verse 22. I do not say to you seven times, but 77 times is how the ESV translates it. Literally in Greek, it's 70 and 7. 70 and 7. Now, you'd have to know Greek to know this, but what Jesus is doing here is it's really like hyperbole.

He's saying the language we would use would be like a bazillion. It's not even like a real number. It's the number of completion times the number of completion with a zero on the end of it. This would be like to infinity and beyond. That's what he's saying. Here's how we know it's not 77. Here's how we know it's not 490. Okay.

Husbands. If Jesus really meant it was actually 490 times is the limit on which we forgive one another. Then when you got married, about seven months into your marriage, your wife would come to you and say, baby. I know the Bible says love keeps no record of wrong, but you're all number 488. So you got two more and then it's over. Okay. So we know it's not that. He's say it's hyperbole.

It's like when you say, everybody was there. Well, everybody wasn't there, but we know what you mean. Or last week, I think, I said, between my house and here, there's like a million palm trees. I think there's like 42, okay? But you go with a million. Every time I think about this, it reminds me this time. I was in college, and I was training these two guys in the gym. They were dental students from Iraq.

They came over, and, you know, they were going to dental school, and they wanted to meet American girls. And they thought if they worked out and got muscles, they could meet American girls. And they had money, and I didn't have money, but I knew how to work out. And I thought this will be a great partnership, okay? And so, and then I gave them a Bible. They gave me a Quran. We tried to convert each other for the whole time. And so that's kind of how that would go.

And so one day I'm talking to them about their nutrition. I'm like, boys, y'all got to eat some protein, okay? And there's not enough protein. If you can just pick it up and it sticks to your finger, that's not going to work, all right? You've got to like use a knife to chop it up. We're talking chicken. We're talking steak. I mean, you know, you got to eat meat.

And we're like, what about breakfast? I was like, bro, you got to eat eggs. You need boiled eggs. You just need to eat as many as you can. And this is on a Friday, and they're like, how many eggs? I'm like, I don't, man, eat like 100 eggs. Okay, so I'm thinking like seven and, you see, this is what I'm thinking. They took it literally.

On Monday, they come to me in the gym. Just all bloated. They're like, for a second, Pete, how do you eat 100 egg? And I'm like, bro. I didn't mean actually, did you eat trying to eat 100 eggs? I said, how many did you eat? 22. I was like, oh, man.

Yeah. You're never going to meet an American girl. So, it's like that. In other words, Jesus, kind of what he's saying is this. Peter says, so how many times I have to forgive somebody? Basically, Jesus is going, well, how many times have I forgiven you? Oh, Peter's like, well, let me count them up. One, two, a lot.

And then Jesus tells a story. Now, what is brilliant about this story is, this story is going to be about finances, but he's not talking about finances. And part of the reason I think he talks about finances is to keep everybody's attention. But remember, the whole time in this story about finances, it is about forgiveness. And there are so many misperceptions about what forgiveness is.

Jesus helps us think about forgiveness in a way that can get our mind around it so that we can actually make the decision to forgive instead of being ruled by our feelings. Here you go. Verse 23. Sorry time. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts.

Underline that. Settle accounts. Apparently forgiveness is like settling accounts with his servants. Verse 24. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents. Underline the word owed him. And when he says 10,000 talents, everybody listening to the story immediately realizes this is just a story. This can't be an actual event.

because a talent is 20 years wages. So this brother owes him 10,000 20 year wages. This would be like a trisillion dollars, okay? I literally added it up. If you take the Duval County medium income, it's like it's a trillion dollars. In fact, when Jesus gives this in the first century, it's more than the GDP of Israel.

So no individual human can actually own that much money. And it would take this brother, 200,000 years to make this much money. So the moment everybody hears this, they're like, okay, this is just a story, because there's no way any one person could have this much debt. So he owes him 10,000 talents. Verse 25. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold with his wife and children

and all that he had and payment to be made. Okay, now, so remember, Jesus is talking about forgiveness. So what he is saying is when somebody sins against you, they have created a debt-deater relationship. And they owe you something. And in order for you guys to be square, they have to pay you back. That's what being sinned against is like. It's settling accounts. And so we even use it in our own language, in our English language, right?

If somebody does you wrong, you'll say, I think you owe me an apology. You see, this is what Jesus is saying. I want you to think about it like this. If somebody sins against you, they create a debt. debt-deater relationship. Verse 26. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, have patience with me, and I will pay you everything. And if you're listening in the crowd, you're like, no, you won't. You can't. You had to work 200,000 years in a row to pay this guy back. It's impossible for you to pay him back.

But the servant still says, have patience with me and I will pay you everything. Verse 27 and out of pity for him. The master of that servant, released him, and here it goes, underline this, forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denary. It's probably like 10 grand. It's about four months' wages. It's still a ton of money, but the brother has the ability to pay him back. And seizing him, he began to choke him saying, pay what you owe. Verse 29. And so his fellow servants, they fell down and they pleaded with him, or his fellow.

fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, have patience with me. Check this out. It uses the same words that the first guy used. Have patience with me and I will pay you. Verse 30. He refused and he went and put him in prison until he should pay his debt, which means he'd never be able to pay his debt because they don't pay you a lot when you're in prison. Verse 31, when his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed. You said they looked at this situation and they were like, how could this be? Bro, you just got forgiven like a trillion dollars and now this. guy owes you like $10,000.

The way we thought this thing was going to go down is when you saw that guy in the street that owed you money and he came up to you and he's that, man, I'm so sorry, I'm working on paying you back. We thought you would be like, you know what, don't worry about it. Because I have been forgiven this debt, I can never repay. You don't have to repay me the debt that you owe me. So I tell you what, we'll go to McDonald's. You can supersize it on me, bro.

We thought, because you had received so much grace, you would extend grace towards this other guy, but instead you started going all UFC on him and started choking him out. It doesn't make any sense. And so they went and they reported to their master all that had taken place. And then the master summoned him and said to him, You wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt. Now that is the definition of forgiveness. I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me

and should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you. And in anger, his master delivered him to the jailers. Greek, the word translated here jailer, is tormentor or torture until he should pay all his death. Now, story over, and here's Jesus, one-line commentary on forgiveness. Remember, he's answering the question that Peter asked, how many times am I supposed to forgive?

Verse 35, a very scary verse, and do not tame down Jesus' words. So also, my Heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart. Now, is what Jesus saying that if I forgive, then I open myself up to be forgiven by God? No, you cannot earn your salvation. He's saying it the other way around. He's not saying that forgiveness earns forgiveness from God.

He's saying that our forgiveness is evidence that we have been forgiven by God. But how could you actually have been forgiven of all of your debt and then somehow withhold forgiveness to the people that have sin against you? You see, here's the point. Forgiveness is not a feeling.

Forgiveness is the willful decision to cancel someone's debt against you because at the cross, Jesus canceled our debt. Or in another way to say it is this, forgiving people, forgive people. Or the redneck way I would say it from Dylan is, if you ain't given it, maybe you ain't got it. That's what Jesus is saying. Scary verses. How in the world could God look at you and cancel all of your. debt and yet and yet someone has a debt that they owe you they have sinned against you and yet somehow you are required them to pay you back now it's usually at this point where in your mind if you're

being honest with yourself and I know this is church no place for that but if you're taking this stuff for real you're thinking yeah but listen man that's easy to say that is easy to say but you don't know what happened to me you don't know what he did to me you don't know what she did to me you don't know how much money it was. You don't know the number of times seven. Man, I did forgive 77 and they abused me every single time and they took advantage of me and you over and over and over and I get it. I'm not saying the sin against you is not a big deal. It's a really big deal. The sin against you is such a big deal. Jesus had to die for it. That's a really, really big deal. But any Christ follower that does not offer forgiveness is because you have taken your eyes off of the cross. Anybody that withholds forgiveness

It's because somehow you've got some gospel amnesia about the forgiveness that we have received. And part of the reason that you should forgive is not just because Christ forgave you, but I'm telling you, that unforgiveness is keeping you from the abundant life that God has called you into. You see, because when we hold on to forgiveness and we don't release that forgiveness and we don't forgive those who have sinned against us, it always turns into bitterness, which goes into resentment, which begins to build walls against people, that want to love you, then you can't give and receive love like God intended you to. And before you know it, you live a life full of fear. And fear is the bully that keeps you in the corner that will not allow you to walk in faith

that God has called you to walk into. See, a few of us actually understand what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is not a feeling. Because what begins to happen is you think, okay, before you go through the hard work of the process of forgiveness, the willful decision to cancel someone's debt against you, then you just sort of haphazardly say, you know what, I forgive them.

I mean, I forgive them. I forgive them. Now, don't ever mention their name around me again because that stirs something up in me. Or whenever I see them on Facebook and I don't know how because I defriended them, which is the ultimate sign of forgiveness, is it not? I defended them, but every time I see their picture

and I see them having fun, something just begins to happen in me. And then all of these feelings begin to rage up in me. And then I think, what is wrong with me? I thought I, I thought I forgave him. If I forgave them, then why do I have all these feelings? Let me tell you, let me tell you, if you have the guts to follow through and actually forgive somebody, I promise you, the enemy is going to stir up all kind of emotions in you. You know why? Because if the enemy can get you to disbelieve your forgiveness

on the horizontal level, it'll be the way that he tries to dismantle your understanding of the gospel on a vertical level. In other words, you'll be beginning. to doubt how in the world does this forgiveness thing work and forgiveness is at the heart of the gospel if you begin to say i can't even forgive this person of one sin how in the world can the almighty god forgive me of all of my sins and man thank god thank god jesus is our lord and our feelings are our lord you see forgiveness is a is a choice and people say this dumb stuff like well you just got to forgive and forget no that is so dumb. No, you need to forgive and remember that you forgave. Because how do you forget something like

that? I mean, especially if somebody who's really, really sinned against you, you don't just get over it. You get over the flu. You don't get over abuse. It just becomes a part of your story. But by the character and nature of God, he can redeem some of the worst things that ever happened to you and redeem them for his own glory and goodness. That's what Romans 828 tells us. And so you don't get over it. You forgive, and then you remember. You remember that you have forgiven.

And then a lot of times we don't forgive because we think, well, it's not fair. I mean, if I forgive, they're going to get away with it. And so when we think this, we really have a low view of God. God's not able to pull off his own vengeance, So I've got to help him out a little bit on this one. Okay, somehow, I mean, there's a lot going on in the Middle East right now.

So he's got his eye off of Jacksonville. So I've got to make sure that I keep my thumb on this person so that they pay for their sins. And the crazy thing is you think you're punishing them and you're only killing you. To withhold forgiveness to try to punish somebody else. Really, man, it only puts you in prison. It's like trying to kill the rats in the house by taking rat poison yourself. That's just not how it works. And to forgive is to set the prisoner free.

and then learn that the prisoner was you. Forgiveness is the decision. Forgiveness is a process. It's a process. And few people are willing to go through the gospel-driven work required to forgive. One of the reasons that people don't forgive is because they understand that if I forgive,

then I am letting go of the excuse that I give to explain my bad behavior. You see, you're killing yourself, but you're advocating all the responsibility. Because if you actually forgive them, then what are you going to say to why you drink so much? And what are you going to say, what excuse do you have to take the medication

that wasn't prescribed to you? And what are you going to say to explain your mouth? And what are you going to explain, what are you going to say to explain that low-grade frustration that you wake up with every single day? Because you know, as long as you hold on to that unforgiveness somehow you feel like that you can abdicate all restrictions, responsibility for your bad behavior.

And another thing is if forgiveness is not necessarily reconciliation. There are some relationships that you should never get back into, that you should never go back to. If you have been abused physically, sexually, God never calls you to go back into that moment and subject yourself to that again somehow in the name of grace. Absolutely not. But even those people who have done those horrible things against you, God calls us to forgive them just as he has forgiven us.

And I know you think, but they don't deserve it right, right? Because we didn't deserve forgiveness either, right? God didn't wait until we got our act together and then he forgave us, but he extended the forgiveness to us first. The extent that you have been forgiven should be the extent to which you forgive. And if you don't forgive, I'm telling you, your only option is bitterness. And so what Jesus does in this parable, which is brilliant. I mean, this is why he is the master teacher, the storyteller.

In this parable, in this story on finances, he actually gives us the process by which we are to forgive. As opposed to forgiveness being this kind of ethereal idea out there that everybody agrees with in general. But somehow we can't experience at the heart level. And so it starts this way. number one and in fact I put it in your notes I dare everybody get out your worship bullet

and me and you too I know you like to sit there all tough you're not that tough get it out and at the bottom over here listen this will require some serious work okay this is just like a reference it's not all going to fit on there

if you take this seriously but this is a reference to help you remember what Jesus said the kingdom of heaven is like a king that settles accounts So this is how you, this is the account that you settle. And so it starts with this, number one, is to identify who has hurt you. For some of you, the moment you heard forgiveness in the bumper video, you were like,

somebody's name or face came to your mind. And it's easy. It's easy because they abused you. They hurt you. They stole from you. They lied to you. They slandered your name. I mean, immediately they broke a promise to you.

And so step one is to identify who. hurt you. Honestly, a lot of Christians have a hard time doing this if somebody they love sins against them. But you have to settle accounts. Then there's a group of you. And if you're honest, you look in the mirror and you're like, I don't know, man, I don't know. But somehow, something's wrong with me. I mean, I wake up every day and the slightest little thing just sends me over the top. I mean, I have the shortest fuse. I've got this low-grade frustration everywhere I go. And as I look back on my life, I think the problem is me, then you should write down to you right there. Because some of it's right, you hurt you. You have been your own worst enemy. You broke promises, you lied, you stole,

you've burned every bridge of every relationship you've ever had, and now here you are. And the good news of the gospel is that Jesus forgives all sins, even the sins against you that you have not forgiven you of Jesus already has if you are in Christ. And so it starts there. Who has? Who has sinned against me. Secondly, as you're settling accounts, the second thing you do is you've got to identify what they owe you or what they've taken from you. Identify what they owe you or what they've taken from you. And then you take it to the next step and say, and what feelings are associated with their actions against me. You see, this is the part where most Christians in this kind of pseudomaturity don't get to the process of forgiveness because they skip over this.

Because I'm going to tell you this. If you have the guts to walk through this, it's going to ruin your week. And a lot of you're like, listen, man, I've repressed that stuff for so long. It's not that big a deal. To say that it is not that big a deal is to the defame the name of Jesus, who is perfectly just and perfectly holy. That when Jesus Christ went to the cross, our sin was heaped upon him even the sin that somebody else did against you he carried to the cross so to say that thing is just not a big deal

don't worry about it that's to look at the cross of Jesus Christ and say you're wasting your time you didn't need to do that and none of us would do that it is a really big deal even the sin against us is such a big deal that Jesus had it down on the cross And so who hurt you? What do they owe you?

What did they take from you? And what kind of feeling was associated with this? And here's what I mean. Some of you look at an adult in your life, and you have not talked about this in a long time. And if you're honest, and if you could talk to them right now, you would say, you know what? You owed me safety, and you owed me protection.

That God puts you as an authority in my life. It is a dad, it was a teacher, it was a coach, it was an aunt and uncle, something like that. And God put this person, and what you're supposed to do with little kids is take care of them and protect them and make sure they're safe and secure. And yet somehow you leveraged your authority to abuse me, to do things to me that have jacked up my entire life and you owe me my childhood back. You owe that to me.

That is not how I was supposed to be treated. You try to act like it's not a big deal, but why do you drink so much? Why do you try to get so busy to just push those thoughts out of your brain? Because you know it was a big deal. And you've just never actually dealt with it. And some of you, man, that's a business partner. Years ago, y'all started together and you had ideas writing on napkins. And if you're honest, you were the smart one.

He was just there. And then before you know it, it gets kind of shady. A couple deals go down now. Your ideas have turned into cash and somehow he's got the company and you're not even there anymore. And you're like, bro, you owe me my dream. You stole money. You stole my business. For some of you, it's your kid.

Maybe not your little kid, but maybe you're grown kid. And you're like, you owe me. I raised you right. I'm not perfect. Nobody's perfect, but we did the best that we could do. We gave you everything you needed and a whole bunch of what you wanted. We raised you in the church, and yet the moment you could. You've used us, you abused us, you've turned your back on us,

and you make me feel like somewhere between a neglecter and an enabler. You break your promises all the time, and you know that you can use us over and over and over, and your mama cries herself to sleep every single night over you. And sometimes when you call, I just want to hang it up. You say, you owe me. For some of you, it's your ex. It's your ex.

And because you've never forgiven your ex, you can't move on in your next relationship, and it's hosing up all of your relationships. Because you think, you know what, you owe me. You promised. You promised. You promised in front of God and an entire group of people. You promised that you would never leave me or forsake me in good times or bad,

whether rich or poor, in sickness and in help. And then in one moment you turned your back on me and us and him. And now you're somewhere else. And I feel like you threw my heart in the blender. Jacked up my whole world. And not only that, you stole the opportunity for me to tuck in my mind. own kids and the thought of somebody else doing my job has just ruined me. Some of you, it's still my innocence. That someone forced themselves on you. And you see why nobody does it? This is why

people that think I'll just skip. And then what begins to happen is the enemy will kill, steal, and destroy. And the good shepherd wants to give you an abundant life. And the problem is that withholding that forgiveness because you never, you never settled accounts. God will never look at sin and be like, don't worry about it. No, that God made him who was out sin to be sin, that Jesus paid the price. And when you do this, when you will do the hard work of what Jesus is talking about here in this parable, then you have what we would call a debt ledger. And again, this does not do it justice.

This will probably be pages of a notebook if you take this stuff seriously. And I want you to think about it like a legal document that you could go before the court of the almighty judge of the universe and say, see God, they owe me, they have done me wrong. And listen, you are right. You are right. You have proof. You have proof that you have been sinned against. And then, not until then, do you have the opportunity to make a decision?

and you got two choices. You got two choices. You can either cancel the debt or you can decide to not cancel the debt. Now, I'm going to highly encourage you to cancel the debt. But if you decide to hang on to it, can you just own it?

Just go ahead and hang on to it. Somebody did you wrong, man. Go ahead and write it very clearly, write it really large, spell out in graphic, detail what they owe you and the feelings associated with it. And then you should like laminate that thing and hang it up in your house, like beside the television. So when people come over, what movie we're watching?

Well, we're watching this, but also look here. This is why I hate Jim. See right there? That's it. I hate it. I mean, if something's going to kill you, you might as well know what it is. Because it will. It will ruin you forever.

You'll never be able to walk in the freedom that Christ purchased for you because it's like a 10,000 pound anchor dragging you down. problem is it's like lodged deep down in your soul. So then the other option is to cancel the debt. It's to cancel the debt. It's to take that, because I just be honest with you, that person that owes you can't repay you anyway. You can't go back to your childhood and get those years back. You can't go back to your first marriage and get that back. Even though around here a bunch of people marrying their first one again, praise God, that is good news, but there's still, you can't go back to those days and get back what was taken.

And so because Jesus canceled all of our debt, then we have the ability through the blood of Jesus, through the power of the Holy Spirit, under the love of God, standing on the authority of the word, to say, you know what? You're forgiven. I cancel your debt. I cancel your debt. And so I would encourage you that after you spend the time creating this debt record, if you are going to decide because of the gospel power in your life to cancel you. the debt, then cancel it. Do something with it. Tear it up, throw it away, burn it.

We've had stories around here of people at one girl who had been abused. She wrote a debt ledger that would, I mean, to read it would just crush you, and she built a coffin, and she put it in it, she dug a hole in her yard, and she buried it up, and she put a tombstone on it. And the reason why is the moment you begin to do that, the enemy is going to bring up all of these feelings to try to convince you that it didn't actually work. And the reason she did that is so that any time the enemy reminded her of what happened in the past,

she could take the enemy to the graveyard in her backyard and be like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't forgive and forget. I forgive, and I remember, that debt has been canceled. Those people don't owe me anything anymore because Jesus paid it all. One guy around here a couple of years ago, he wrote this debt ledger that was extensive, extensive. and he carried it around with him for a while, a couple of weeks, and then finally he got to the point where he was ready to say, you don't owe me anymore, and he burned it and put the ashes in an urn like he would in Dana, okay?

And he's a surfer, and he paddled out at the pier, and he sprinkled the ashes of his debt ledger out there so that whenever the enemy tries to bring up all of these feelings, he just paddles out, and he reminds the enemy, and he reminds himself that the forgiveness of God is just, lavished upon him wave upon wave upon wave so I dare you I dare you I dare you I dare you to identify who hurt you to identify what they owe you what their sin against you was what what feelings are associated with that so that you realize you realize the debt

and then not because you're awesome but because he is not because they deserve it just like we did not deserve it. And then by the power of the cross of Jesus Christ, you can lay it down at the cross and say, I forgive you. I cancel the debt. Which means this. If God did a gospel work in that person years from now,

and that person that hurt you so deeply were to see you and to show up and they were to fall down on their knees and they were beg for your forgiveness that genuinely, from a pure heart, you could say, no, no, get up, get up, get up. You don't owe me an apology. You don't owe me anything anymore.

Because I have been forgiven, I forgive you. You see, because the reality is this, the truth is this, that, man, you're going to have all kind of emotion. And what you've got to do with that emotion is you just got to bring it to the Lord, and bring it to the Lord, and bring it to the Lord, and remind yourself that forgiveness is a willful decision to cancel the debt,

and hopefully over time, necessarily overnight, your feelings will begin to line up with the decision to forgive. You see, when you bring that thing to the Lord, you've got to drop these G-rated prayers and you need to bring it to the Lord with the same kind of intensity that it's being stirred up in you. Do you know why I know that? Because the Holy Spirit of God inspired people like David to write down in the Bible, ready, some crazy prayers. If this wasn't in the Bible and you prayed this,

in my prayer group, I would be like, I don't think you can come anymore. That's crazy. And they're Bible verses. Psalm 139 is a very popular chapter around here. I pray Psalm 139, 14, over my daughter every single night. Dear God, I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. I know that full well.

When you get down to verse 17 of this chapter, he says this, how precious to me are your thoughts, oh God. How vast is the sum of them. If I were to count them, they are more than the sand. I awake and still I am with you. Isn't that sweet? Next verse. Oh, that you would slay the wicked, O God.

O men of blood, depart for me. They speak against you with malicious intent. Your enemies take your name in vain. Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord? And do I not loathe those who rise up against you? I hate them with complete hatred. I count them as my enemies. Next verse.

Search me, O God, and know my heart. This brother has some issues. Me too. Me too. I think this is why the Lord gives us this parable on what it looks like to forgive. The forgive is not about the feelings associated with it. The forgive is to cancel the record of debt. Why?

Because they deserve it? No. C.S. Lewis says, to be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. So how does that happen? First John, John tells us this, oh, what manner of love the Father has lavished upon us that we should be called children of God. Do you know what that word lavish means?

That word lavish means like way more than enough. Like God did not just put enough of his love on you to cover you. He lavished his love. Like there was love filled you all the way up. It's oozing out of your ears. And he puts them more in another bucket of love and another bucket of love and another like love is just going anywhere everywhere. You're like, Lord, that might be enough.

That word lavish is like what Reagan, my seven-year-old, does with the water in the bathtub in the bathroom. She's a tiny little, she's like 60 pounds maybe, and somehow, when I walk in there after she's taking a bath, she's lavished the water all over the bathroom. It's like a went St. Bernard came in there and just like shook off. I'm like, how did it get on the top of the mirror, okay? It's just everywhere, and God's love and forgiveness for us is heaped upon us and heaped upon us and heaped upon us so that, as we have been forgiven and loved by the Almighty God, it spills out over into the people that he places in our lives. How is that possible?

Because check this out. Here's how. Here's where it's rooted. It's rooted in this. If the Almighty Maker of Heaven and Earth decides to listen to the podcast this week and says, you know what, I'm going to do the debt ledger. Number one, identify who has hurt God. He could write my name.

name there. He could write my name. And identify what he owes him or what I've taken from God. The list is long. Pride and arrogance and trying to steal his glory at every turn because I'm a glory hog and lying and cheating and stealing and being dishonest. And that's not just stuff that I used to do. You understand? I mean, if he came up with a debt-laping, and stealing, and being dishonest, and that's not just stuff I used to do. you understand I mean if he came up with a debt ledger with my name on it I'm telling you he could roll that scroll out

and it touched the Atlantic Ocean and come back you understand it would be a a really big deal and what kind of feelings are associated with my debt towards God apart from Christ wrath and justice and anger

and then there is God with my volumes and volumes and volumes of the debt ledger that I owe him. And what does he do? Well, here's how Paul says it in Colossians 2. And you who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses,

by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. And he set it aside, nailing it to the cross. So why do we forgive? We forgive because Christ forgave us. Now, if you're not a Christian, you have people in your life that have sinned against you. And I'm just going to be honest. I don't mean this mean or demeaning towards you.

I really don't. If you have not experienced the forgiveness of God, I don't think that you're very well equipped to forgive other people. Because your forgiveness is really just kind of a pragmatic thing for you. And forgiveness is always better than unforgiveness. If you have not experienced the lavish love of the Father poured out at the cross by his son, Jesus Christ, if you have not experienced the words of Jesus when he pushed up on his nail-pierced feet and he says, it is finished.

In other words, the debt has been paid. Then I don't really know how you cancel the debt that people owe you. And if you have experienced the forgiveness of Christ, I don't know how you can withhold it from other people. And so I would like to invite you to bow your head and close your eyes and not be in a hurry right now and not be in a hurry. And if you are here today and you have never surrendered your life to the Lordship of Jesus Christ

even though in my opinion right now I don't think I've explained it fully but somehow by the power of the Holy Spirit in you it makes sense to you. And today for the very first time you know that you need the forgiveness purchased for you by what Jesus did on the cross. If you admit it, I'm a sinner, I need to be forgiven. And you believe somehow when Jesus died on the cross, that counted for you. And in this moment, you're ready to confess that he is your God and you're not the God of your life anymore.

Would you just surrender your life right now and experience the forgiveness of your own dead? And if that's you, if you would like to say, Father, please forgive me of my sins. Would you raise your hand right where you are and say, God, here I am. I surrender my life to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. Amen and amen. If you put those hands down, not to those of you that have been walking with Jesus. And you know that you need help over the next few days and weeks and months

to actually do the hard work of settling accounts with the people that have sinned against you. I would like to pray for you. and if you would say, Pastor, that's me. I need the Spirit to do something in me that I can't see me doing on my own. And if there's somebody in your life and you know that you need to cancel the debt

and you would like for me to pray for you, would you just raise your hand? And I'm going to tell you, mine's in the ear. Raise it and say, here I am. I need some help. Our good and gracious Heavenly Father, God, we thank you and we praise you that we don't forgive people

because they deserve it. Just like we didn't deserve it and yet you forgave us. Lord, I thank you. that forgiveness is not even wrapped up in what we feel about it. God, I pray that over time you would line up our feelings with our Lord and the decision to cancel that that Holy Spirit would you do a work in us that we could never, ever, ever, ever do on our own.

And God, I pray, I pray that you would use some of these most painful experiences ever to be a tangible expression of the gospel of Jesus Christ to men and women that, though they do not deserve to have their debts forgiven, they're going to experience that. And God, the reason we can do this is not because we heard a teaching, or not because we're going to fill out a graph, but the reason we can do this is because Jesus paid it all. That Jesus paid it all. So, God, may we, may we be the kind of church that extends forgiveness to the extent that we have been forgiven.

We pray this in the good, strong name of Jesus. Amen.