The Church of Eleven22 - Wk 4: Lust, Divorce and Oaths

Episode Date: May 10, 2020

Marriage is a supernatural covenant (not a contract) between one man and one woman ‘til death do you part, ordained by God Himself. For more information and resources on this series, visit coe22.com/bestsermonever. For Disciple Group Curriculum please visit coe22.com/disciplegroups

Amen and amen. If you've got your Bibles, we are going to be in Matthew chapter 5 as we continue in this series, best sermon ever as we walk verse by verse through Jesus' teaching on the sermon on the Mount. And nothing says happy Mother's Day like a teaching on lust, divorce, and oaths. And so I know this could be a tough one, but before we dive into this, we do want to say, happy Mother's Day. I know that Jesus is the head of the church, but from the empty tomb, until today the backbone of the church has been some praying mammas. And so to all you mamas, happy Mother's Day, and to all of you who have mamas, make sure that you honor them today, whether you're watching this on Thursday or Saturday or Sunday.

Make sure you call your mama, buy her some gifts. I know like spas and stuff are closed right now, so stock up, do whatever it takes to make a big deal out of mamas. And so one of the ways your church, our church, 1122, wanted to honor some moms is we know that there are a bunch of single moms that are a part of this church and are connected some way to this church. And so what we did this week just to honor some moms in honor of Mother's Day is this. There was a single mom. There's a single mom who has been a part of a ministry that we partner with called Hadassah's Hope.

And Hadassah's Hope goes into strip clubs to just try to love the people that are working there and offer them the hope of the gospel of Jesus Christ. And there's a single mom in one of the clubs. who has decided to walk away from that lifestyle. And so the Church of 1122 is partnering with Hadassal's hope to cover her bills for a season so that she is able to do that. Also, we partner with another ministry called the Carpenter's Shop, which works with some under-resourced children.

And through that ministry, we've met another single mom who needs a vehicle. And so we are partnering with Auto Line. the owners of Autoline are covenant members of the Church of 1122, and our church is paying for half the car, and Autoline is paying for half the car for this single mom to get a car. And if you need a car, you should go to Autoline. And that is a commercial, but I don't care. Those brothers are incredible what they are doing for the sake of the gospel there at Autoline. So we're honoring them there.

And then all of the women at Windsor-assisted Living Facility are receiving, corsages this Mother's Day just to say thank you and we love you and to honor those mamas. So mothers, we honor you on this Mother's Day. Now, page 18 in your discipleship journal, if you have downloaded that, I hope you have, maybe printed it out. That's where we're going to be Matthew chapter 5 picking up in verse 27. And we're going to talk about lust and divorce and oaths. And I'm just just going to tell you, it's going to be a tough one, man. I don't know that I have ever labored over a sermon like I have this one. And sometimes jokingly, I will say, hey, don't get mad at me. I'm just a

mailman. I don't write it. I just deliver it. But this week, it has been quite the weight to bear. And I just wanted to tell you what I've been praying for this week. I've been praying that marriages would be saved, that chains of addiction would be broken. that healing would happen, that divorce would be avoided, that sin would be forgiven, that repentance would happen, that the whispers of condemnation would be hushed, that the gospel would be work and be on display, and above all else, that love will reign. And just know this. I love you like crazy.

And I love you enough to tell you the truth of God's word, and that he is good and his word is good and his way is better. And before we dive into this, I need you to know, you might want to go ahead and memorize Romans 8-1 says, therefore now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. So if you hear these whispers of condemnation, then you've got to know that condemnation is not the language of the Father. Condemnation is the language, which is a lie of the enemy. And condemnation says that you are unfit for use.

However, in Romans chapter 1, we find out that conviction is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance. And so if you feel these nudgings of conviction of sin in our life, then understand that is God's goodness towards us. Condemnation, unfit for use, is a lie from the enemy. And conviction is a warm invitation from the Holy Spirit to turn back to God. So here we go. Chapter 5, verse 27, Jesus, again, he's talking to the Pharisees. He's talking to a crowd. He lays out the beatitudes, and then he says,

unless your righteousness exceeds that of the Pharisees, and you have no part of the kingdom of heaven, and everybody thought, well, there's no chance then that I'm getting in. And then he takes the law of God, and six times he references the Mosaic law. You have heard that it was said. But what the Pharisees would do is they would take the law, law of God and they would only speak of it physically and then what Jesus is going to do six times is

but I say to you it's not just an activity matter it's a heart matter the first one he does we talked about last week with anger he goes for the jugular and we're all unrighteous after the first one you've heard that it said don't murder well I say if you got anger in your heart you're a murderer and we're like well we're out the second one he wipes everybody out on it too you have heard that it was said that you shall not commit adultery. It's the Seventh Commandment, by the way. But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent

has already committed adultery with her in his heart. To which everybody says, uh-oh. Now the question is, what is lustful intent? Is it noticing somebody pretty? No, that's not what it is. If you have eyeballs in a brain, you can just notice these things. You can appreciate that somebody is handsome or pretty. That's not what lustful intent is.

Lustful intent is when you commodify a person for your own pleasure. That instead of seeing someone as an image bearer of God, you look at someone as a commodity for your own pleasure to be used by you for you for you. you. And I think it even goes beyond that. I think that lustful intent is also when you choose sexual or relational fantasy over reality. And so we've got these dumb phrases in our society that I hear from men. Like you can look at the menu as long as you don't buy. Well, what a dumb thing to say. You see, the majority of pornography is, it's really violence against women. And, and using women as a commodity to be used up for your own pleasure.

Listen, daughters of the most high king are not a piece of meat on a menu for you to peruse. That is not what they are. But when we do that, it is lustful intent. And what Jesus is saying is you've got a deep problem down here in your heart. And women for you, although pornography, use in women is growing, maybe more than any other group of people. But often it's about choosing romantic fantasy. Like to look at the reality that you have in your marriage and choose a novel like 50 Shades

of Gray to try to escape and go in that direction. And Jesus is saying, listen, when you do that, when you do those things, when you go down those roads, you see, what begins to happen is you feel justified because you think, I haven't touched a person, it's just pictures. Or I haven't had an affair. I've just got, you know, I just read this book to escape from reality. And Jesus is saying, no, no, no, no, no. It's not just pictures and pages, but in your heart, you have been, you've begun to go down a road that already leads to destruction. So everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery in his heart. So if we'll agree that,

is some of us, probably all of us. And we'd say, all right, Jesus, well, what do we do? And then listen to what he says. You think I'm intense, preacher. Listen to this. Jesus says, if your right eye causes you to sin, because that's usually where it starts, starts with our eyes. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out, throw it away. Now imagine, if you're listening to this sermon, you're waiting for Jesus to explain why he doesn't mean what he's saying. The only problem is he never gets to that part where he tries to explain away. I was just kidding. He says, if your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out, throw it away, for it is better that you lose one of your members than that your

whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, then cut it off and throw it away, for it is better that you lose one of your members than your whole body go to hell. To which you say, Jesus, that's pretty extreme, to which I think Jesus is, will say this is extremely important. You think it's just a look. You think it's just a picture? You think it's just a fantasy. I'm saying it leads to hell.

It leads to shield. It leads to utter destruction. I know we got a lot of new people tuning in, but just a few weeks ago, I taught on the letter from Jesus to the church at Thyatira, and I dealt with this like crazy. I'd encourage you to go back and listen to it. That the temptation of lust, the temptation towards sexual immorality,

it is not just a snapshot, it's not just a moment in time, it is a pathway. And we studied Proverbs chapter 5, 6, and 7. And in that, there's an older guy teaching a younger guy, be careful, son, be careful son, be careful son. Because you walk down the road and you're going to get to a corner and you look down the street. You're at a corner and you look down the street and at the end of the street is a prostitute in the prostitute's house. And the son, the young man thinks, I'll just take a couple steps down this road

and it'll be fine. I can manage this. And the dad in Proverbs 6, 7, 5, 6, and 7 says, no, you can't manage this, bro. Who can hold fire close to his chest and not get burned? And everybody trying to justify their lust says, I can. and then he says,

nah, man, because when you begin to go down that road, you're like a stag who has been shot in the liver. And a liver shot stag is a dead stag walking. He just doesn't know it yet. Jesus said this is very, very, very important. That every path has a destination. Now, when it comes to lust, part of the reason

we're not going to spend the whole time on lust is because I just taught it a few weeks ago. But when I taught on path, pathways in regards to lust. I primarily taught about it. Again, it's very, very important, but I would just say this. Linear lust management and decision making, though very important, is not enough. It's not enough.

Yes, you should have covenant eyes on your laptop and all of your devices. And yes, you should have accountability partners. And yes, you should confess your sin. And yes, you should flee sexual immorality. Yes, you should do all those things. But if all you try to do when it comes to lust is sin management, you will lose the battle. I think a part of what he means when he says, gouge out your eye and cut off your hand, we have to go to extreme measures for those who struggle with lust.

Like, and this is true too, whether it's a full-on addiction, like you are consumed by lustful thoughts all the time, or just as dangerous is if you just occasionally dabble in pornography, I think you're actually in the clutches of the devil right there because you think you have it under control. And then the devil's like, man, I got him right where I want him. You see, I think if this is your struggle, then we have to go to extreme measures. And here's what I think.

I think we have to take the Shama approach. We've been studying the Shemah for two years. Here, O Israel, Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. And as a response to our one true God, we give him our one and only life. Therefore, we should love the Lord, our God with all of who we are, our heart, our soul, our mind, and our strength. And I think we have to declare war against lust with heart, soul, mind, and strength. And I mean this. You have to pay attention to your heart.

You have to pay attention to how you were raised your most important relationships. The relationship you have with your mom and your dad, the relationship. that you had with sexual partners, with those kinds of things, because it's in the shaping of that heart that leads you to go down these places. And most of us want to avoid that and just put some software on our computer. And I think you have to come at it at the soul level. It is demonic. To have an addiction to pornography, there is a demonic element.

I mean, what else would you call it? How many times have you promised you never going to do it again? but in that moment you feel like there's a thing in you driving you to do a thing you don't want to do, what you want to call it? I think you've got to handle it at the soul level. I think you have to handle it at the mind level. You pay attention to your thought life. Like what are the thoughts and feelings that lead you to be most vulnerable to the sin of lust? Futility, disassociation, anger, disappointment.

And in addition to that, we have to hand you. to lead at the physical strength level. Environment does matter. If you don't want to gouge out your eye, throw your phone in the ocean. That should be part of it. If you don't want to cut off your hand, quit your job.

I mean, if she is that tempting, quit your job. You can get another job. That is your family. It is worth it. I read a book this week. One of the blessings of quarantine, man. I read like four books a week or something.

I read a book called Unwanted by a guy named Jay Stringer. I would highly recommend this book. Now, as I say this, I'm not necessarily saying everything this brother writes, I am affirming because I don't know. I hadn't had time to check them all out and all that. And there's a bunch of stuff in this book that makes me uncomfortable. The book is called Unwanted. Basically, the book is this.

Feeling Unwanted is often the source of unwanted sexual activity. But what this guy does is he goes at this heart, soul, mind, and strength, not just accountability partners and software for your computer. It's extremely important. In the book of 1 Corinthians chapter 6, Paul has some extreme language. He's going to say, when it comes to sexual sin, when it comes to lust, it's not just to be managed, it's to be killed. Here's what Paul says. First Corinthians chapter 6, verse 9, says, or do you not know?

that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God. Remember Jesus basically says the same thing in the sermon on the Mount? And then he says, do not be deceived. Neither the sexually immoral, that word is porneo, same words Jesus is going to use in the sermon on the Mount. Nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor violers, will inherit the kingdom of God.

This is important, verse 11. And such were some of you were past tense, but you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of God. In other words, your past sin, even sexual sin, and your current struggle, even sexual struggle, doesn't get to define you. As your pastor, I want you to be able to walk in the freedom that Christ purchased for you when it's. comes to lust and sexual sin. Because that's not who you are. It's who you were, but the old you is dead. So how about get up and walk in the freedom that Christ has purchased for you?

And then he goes on to say, all things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be dominated by anything. Food is meant for the stomach and stomach for the food, and God will destroy both one and the other. Notice how some of those things are in quotes. Essentially, what Paul is doing is Paul is disassembling some of the thought life in Corinth during this time. They believe in this false dichotomy between the body and the soul, that you could give your soul or your heart to Jesus, but you could do whatever you want to with your body.

You see, you don't just have a soul, you are a soul and a body. And then he goes on to say, the body is not meant for saying, immorality. But for the Lord and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? And they would say, now we didn't know that, Paul. So he goes on to say, shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never. See, what was happening in Corinth is that Christians, once they got saved, again, they believed in this false dichotomy, which Americans do too. I can give my heart to Jesus. I can do whatever I want to with my body.

So they'd be in church on Sunday, and they'd be slipping with temple prostitutes on Tuesday night. And they would say, no, no, no, that's fine. That's not, I just, I gave my eternity to Jesus, and I'm just giving my Tuesday to the prostitute. And Paul's like, no, bro, you don't get to do that. He's the Lord of all of your life. Would you take a member of Christ? and make them members of a prostitute? Never. Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her?

For as it is written, the two will become one flesh. He's quoting the book of Genesis. That sex is not just physical, that it's spiritual, it's emotional, it's really supernatural, that in God's economy, one plus one equals one. But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one in spirit with him. And then he says these words, flee from. sexual immorality. Don't flirt with it. Don't see how close you can get to it. Don't play around with it. Like the proverb says, do you think you can hold fire close to your chest and not get

burned? Well, if you don't want to get burned, run away from the fire. Flea sexual immorality. This means no matter how extreme it seems, run away from it. I don't care what kind of rules you got to make up. I don't care who you have to offend. And this is how big a deal this is. in the book of Ephesians chapter six Paul says when you see the enemy stand firm against the devil and his evil schemes that's it when you see the devil himself stand firm in faith

get all dressed up in your armor of God and go to war go to war but when you see sexual temptation run for us run get out of here No matter how extreme it seems, it is extremely important. Why, Paul? Here's why. Because every other sin a person commits outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against its own body.

It's not unforgivable. It's just different. And he says, or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own. You were bought with a price. So glorify God in. your body. I mentioned that book Unwanted and again, a big part of the book is, based on your

past experience and current circumstances and the way you're wired, if you feel unwanted, you are more likely to act out in unwanted sexual activity. Paul says, but here's the deal. In the gospel, you are not your own. You were bought with a price. God wants you. God wants you so much that he was willing to send his son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross, even knowing all of your lust and all of your perversion and all of your sin and all of your wicked thoughts, he still wanted you and he sent Jesus to rescue you and to redeem you. You are not unwanted.

And so Jesus talks about lust. So he goes anger, lust, and then the next one he talks about is divorced. Now hold on tight. These are tough words, tough words. Verse 31, Jesus says, it was also said, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife except on the ground of sexual immorality makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Now, I know what some of you are saying right now.

Okay, pastor. Now tell me why that doesn't mean what it says. And here's what I have to tell you. I cannot do that and I will not do that. I love you too much. Here's the conversation I refuse to have. I refuse to stand before Jesus one day and say, hey Jesus, there are some people that I love very much and these words would hurt their feelings.

And so I skipped that part. I just refused to have that conversation. And it would not be love for me to not teach this. It would actually be, it would be cowardly, first of all, because I would care more about what you think would met me than how much I am called to love you. It would also be very selfish of me to skip over this part because the selfishness would be,

let me just save myself the emails this week. It would also be very, very short-sighted to just say what people, want to hear and ultimately it would undercut the truth that God is good and his word is good and it's all for our good. Now, the good news is, I've told you this 10,000 times, the best way to study the Bible is always use the Bible as commentary for itself. Before you want to know what I think, before you want to know what all the theologians think, first of all, see what the Bible has to say on the subject that you're studying.

And so I get it. I'm sure there's 10,000 questions, especially at our church. And so a couple of questions that you may have is this. When is divorce permitted? It's a legitimate question. Is it ever okay to get divorced and remarry? Legitimate question. Some of you are in this situation.

I am divorced and remarried. What do I do? Am I living in adultery? Some of you say, well, what about me? I'm single. I'm divorced and single. What do I do? Or I've never been married.

I'm single and I want to be. All right. Well, we're going to just walk through these with the scriptures. First of all, if you're single, I would say to you, first and foremost, in Matthew Chapter 19 and 1 Corinthians 7, I don't have time to go all the way into what they have to say about singleness. But in 1st Corinthians 7 and Matthew chapter 19, Jesus and Paul commend you to leverage your singleness. for the sake of the gospel. That he affirms it and says,

you trust in Jesus to be all sufficient and use this time in your life to advance the kingdom of God. Now before we dive into divorce and when is it okay to get divorced and all of this, I think you've got to start with the purpose of marriage. And what Jesus does in Matthew chapter 19, we'll get there in just a second,

is when the Pharisees try to ask him about when it is it okay to get divorced, before he talks about what divorce is, he starts with the purpose of marriage. Now, I'm going to tell you, in evangelical churches, most of the time we have taken marriage and put it up, we've idolized marriage, as is it is the ultimate goal. But according to the Bible, marriage is not the goal. Marriage is but a temporary means to an eternal end. and that the ultimate purpose of marriage has nothing to do with your personal satisfaction and fulfillment. At best, that is a byproduct.

But the purpose of marriage is to glorify God by putting on display a picture of God's covenant love for us. That is the purpose of marriage. Not so that you get what you want, not so that you're fulfilled. That is not what it is. Not to satisfy your loneliness because no human can do those. things. I mean, the greatest lie that we've ever been told in my generation is that you complete me, as if some other human could do for you what only a relationship with Jesus could do for you. And when you peep that kind of pressure on another human being, whatever you idolize, when they let you down, you will demonize them.

And so the ultimate purpose for marriage is to glorify God by putting on display a picture of God's covenant love for us. So husbands, Ephesians chapter 5 tells us that we should love our wives like Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Is the way that you were loving your wife showing the world how much Christ loves us? Or if you are harsh with your wife, if we are harsh with our wives, then the world thinks that Jesus is harsh with us. And if we are absent from our wives and family, then you are saying that Jesus doesn't really care about us that much. And if you cheat, then you are saying that Jesus is not. faithful. And wives, the way you are respecting and encouraging and cheering and celebrating your husband,

that would be my modern definition of the Greek word for submit to your own husband. The way that you're respecting, encouraging, cheering, and celebrating your husband shows the world how the church should honor Christ. So if you are critical, then you are putting on display that God is out of touch and he doesn't know what he's doing. And if you dishonor Jesus, we make Jesus. we make Jesus look unworthy of honor. And so before we get into divorce,

because here's a lot of married people like me, can look at the teaching on divorce and think, like the Pharisees, well, you ain't talking to me, because I ain't committed adultery. I don't look at porn. And yet the challenge is deeper and down at the heart level. So if your marriage needs help, I would implore you getting a group, join on Zoom,

You can just observe. You don't even really have to de-in at first. But please, please, please get help. So when is it okay? When does God say it is okay? There's a couple of clauses that we see here in Matthew chapter 5 and in Matthew 19 and in 1st Corinthians 7, which are exceptions clauses to divorce.

Matthew 19 says this. First one. Now, when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and he entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan and large crowds followed him and he healed him there. And the Pharisees came up and tested him by asking, is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause? Let me just say this. If you were looking to get divorced, you will find as many reasons as you want to find. Now, Jesus, the way he answers this is going to say you're asking the wrong question.

And he answered, have you not read, if you could only understand the first century insult that it. is going on here. They are professional Bible readers. This would be like saying to a pastor on staff if they ask a question and be like, do you not read your Bible? This is as insulting as it gets. Have you not read that he who created them

from the beginning made them male and female? So what Jesus does is saying your question is dumb, let's go back to God's original intent. And he said, therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife. The word hold fast here in Hebrew literally means covenant, covenants with his wife.

And the two shall become one flesh. That in God's economy, one plus one equals one. Now again, because of our crazy times we live in, the Supreme Court does not define marriage. The Supreme King of the universe defines marriage, and he defines marriage as one man and one woman for one lifetime. That's how he defines it. From the beginning. Then he says, so they are no longer two but one flesh.

What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. In other word, don't unwon what God made one. There is a supernatural covenant union here. And so then they said to him, the Pharisee said to Jesus, well, why did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away? They're talking about Deuteronomy chapter 24, verses 1 through 4. And Jesus says then, because of your hardness of heart,

Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. Here's what he said. Jesus is saying, Moses never commanded anybody to get divorced, but he made a concession because what was going on was there was a chaos of divorce in the old covenant, and men were just divorcing their wives for whatever reason they wanted to, and the rabbis came up with this system that you could divorce your wife if you just for whatever reason. And so Moses says you have to write her a certificate of divorce that says she has not been unfaithful so that people won't kill her so that she can do business, that this was to protect

women that were being abused. That's what Moses' intent was. And now what you were doing is trying to use the letter of the law to get what you want. That's what you're doing. So he says because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wife. but from the beginning it was not so and then Jesus gives what he thinks and I say to you whoever divorces his wife except for sexual

immorality and marries another commits adultery you see during this time there were two leading rabbinical thoughts on why you could get divorce one was from the school of Shima not like what we're memorizing

S-H-A-M-A-I and it allowed divorce only for reasons of unchastity, but it demanded and commanded divorce. That if your wife cheated on you, then you had a divorce. Then there was a more liberal school called Halel, and it stated that the mosaic stipulation of indecency allowed a man to divorce his wife for whatever he considered unpleasing to him. And so literally, burnt fish and burnt toasts were on the list.

A lot of you'd be in trouble. So, Jesus is like, you got this whole thing messed up. That God's original intent is that one man and one woman would be made one in a covenant that represented the covenant that God has for us. So after Jesus lays this out, again, except for sexual immorality, anybody that gets divorced and marries another commits adultery. So the disciples are listening to this. And they say to him, if such is the case of... of a man with his wife, it's better not to marry,

to which I think Jesus is like, right. You got it, right. Yeah, this is, you're not to walk into this lightly thinking, well, if this doesn't work out, then I'll just write a certificate of a divorce and try it again. Then he goes on, the next bunch of verses are about Unix, which is complicated right now. So I'll just say it's about whether you're single by choice,

single because of something that happened to you, or single because God gifted you with singleness, he encourages it. So, when is it okay to get divorced? According to Matthew chapter 19, according to Matthew chapter 5, number one is adultery. That when your spouse cheats on you, that breaks that covenant, it is so damaging that Jesus concedes, not commands. Please hear me. that Jesus concedes, not commands, that you may walk away from that covenant that you made because the damage is so deep, particularly if it is unrepentant, continued sexual immorality.

That's how damaging it is. However, however, first of all, if your spouse has committed adultery, Listen, I empathize. I have no idea the hurt and the pain that that would feel like. I just can't even get my mind around it. But divorce should not be your first response as a Christian. It should be your last resort. Divorce is like an amputation to try to unwon what God has made one.

Like even if you broke your ankle severely, your first option is a not take the leg off. It is the last resort to save your whole body. And here's why. Here's why. In Ephesians chapter 5, husbands love your wife like Christ love the church. How many times has the church been unfaithful to him? And has he ever broken his covenant with us? Never, ever, ever, ever. Okay? Secondly, there's an entire book of the Bible called Hosea where God to give an illustration for his covenant one way love towards us tells Hosea a prophet to go and marry a prostitute named Gomer. First of all, God tells you to marry a girl named Gomer. That's got, I mean, that's some serious red flags already.

And he goes and he marries Gomer, a prostitute to show the world how much God loves us. And then Gomer does what Gomer does. She abandons him. She goes around sleeping with some other people. then God goes back to Josea, says, take all of your money and go buy her off the auction block again. And it is a picture of what God has done to our adulterous hearts. Third, if you've been cheated on, the tomb is empty, anything is possible. If sinners can be reconciled to a holy God, then surely somebody that has sinned against you, you can be reconciled with.

I'm not saying you have to. I get it. I get it. Sometimes the damage is beyond repair. But that should be the last resort and not your first response. If the spirit of God can meet the son of God in his lifeless body in the tomb and breathe life into the lifeless son of God, then surely the spirit of God can breathe life into your marriage, though you think it's dead. And again, there are for sure reasons and adultery.

is one of them, and that may be the only option. Let it not be the first option. So that's one. Adultery is a reason, a biblical reason to get divorced. A second biblical reason to get divorce is abandonment. Abandonment. If you go to 1st Corinthians chapter 7, Paul gives all of this advice on marriage.

There's even some parts in here that are kind of crazy. You have to pay very close attention, because there are times in 1, Corinthians 7, where Paul is like, hey, this next part I'm saying, this is for me, this is not from the Lord. And then he'll say, now, I'm about to talk for the Lord again. So you've got to pay close attention to this. And Paul was not a big fan of marriage if you just want to know the truth.

Paul said, I wish you guys would not be married like me. Because an unmarried man, what's he got to worry about? But a married man, he's got a whole lot to worry about. Can I get an amen? You better not. So he says things like, Paul says things like, to the unmarried and the widows, I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. but if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry, for it is better to marry than burn with passion.

I have never heard these verses at a wedding. Here's Ted. He's going to marry Nancy, and Ted was going to be single, but he burned with passion, so he picked her. Y'all ready? I've never heard that before in my life, but this is what he's talking about. Now, in the church in Corinth, there's a bunch of everybody's pagans in Corinth, and then the gospel enters Corinth, and people are getting saved. And sometimes one of the spouses would become a Christian, but the other one wouldn't. And the unbeliever was like, this is crazy. I didn't marry Christian. I'm out.

And so to that, he says this, verse 15, but if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace for how do you know wife whether you will save your husband or how do you know husband whether you will save your wife? In other words, if the spouse wants to abandon you, then you cannot stop them. And God makes concession for that. But what he's saying is that if you're the believer, you cannot initiate it because you have no idea how God may use you for the salvation of your spouse. Though, if you are abandoned, then there is concession for you to get divorced. And then the third one would be abuse.

Adultery, abandonment, abuse. Let me just be very clear. If you are being abused, if your children are being abused, you need to get out. You need to call the authorities, and you need to call us at the church so that we can help you walk through this. And I don't have time to do all that I need to do here, but I would just simply say, if someone is abusing you, they are acting like an unbeliever, and they are abandoning you. So under 1st Corinthians chapter 7, then you should get out. Malachi chapter 2 verse 16 says this, kind of a paraphrase.

God hates divorces and he despises the one that would cover his garment with violence. In a Jewish wedding, they would wrap a prayer shawl over the husband and wife. And so it would be like a picture from God's viewpoint. I don't see two individuals. I see one unit under this prayer show. And it says God hates divorce and he despises someone that would cover. his garment with violence that would hit his wife. So,

divorce is for sure an option. In fact, separation is a must immediately. Now in Malachi, it says God hates divorce. It never says God hates divorced people. The primary purpose for marriage is to put on display the glory of God, to put on display the gospel

by showing evidence of God's covenant love towards his people. Then when that thing is fractured, God hates it, and he also hates all of the collateral damage to his children that come along with divorce. So when is it okay, biblically to get divorce? Adultery, abandonment, abuse. Now, please, please, please, please don't do it all. And if you're thinking, if you're in your marriage right now and you're thinking about divorce,

please please know that if the tomb is empty anything is possible and as much as it is up to you reconcile with one another and be reconciled unto God and if it is the last and only

option please please please allow loving brothers and sisters that love you more than they care what you think about them in that moment to walk with you through this now if you're divorced and single, you say, well, what about me? What do I do? I would say, trust Jesus.

Learn to be content in any and every situation. Maybe God has remarriage in your life, or maybe not. Either way, no other person can do for you what only Jesus can do for you. Now I will say where God allows for divorce, then he also allows for remarriage. So you ask, should I get remarried? The reason I'm so cautious to just give a blanket answer in a sermon that literally about like half a million people listen to is because there's about half a million different situations. Some of you got divorce and you have biblical reasons and you should probably never get married again for a whole host of reasons. I mean, it's just, it's just not that simple. There's no one size fits all, whatever it is, whatever it is, if you've been through a divorce,

you should take time to heal. You should take a long time to heal. And you should do that in the context of the body of Christ, the family of Christ, to let us walk alongside of you. But please hear this. Trust that God is good. Whether you broke your vow or you're the victim of someone breaking, a covenant against you, you've got to know this, that God never, ever, ever breaks this covenant. And then whether you or the offended or the offender, please know this through the blood of

Jesus Christ, therefore now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. But God is not done with you. And if some other church told this to you that somehow you were damaged good, they lied to you and they were saying things that do not line up with the gospel of Jesus Christ. Now there's some of you that are saying, well, I'm divorced. remarried. What about us? I mean, he said, if we get divorced and remarried, then it's adultery. What about us? First and foremost, if you got divorced for biblical reasons that, again, where God allows divorce, he allows remarriage. But no matter what, if you're divorced and remarried, you should confess and repent

where you need to. You may need to, you may have biblical grounds, but you may need to call your and say, I am sorry for the things I said. So wherever there is divorce, somewhere there is sin. And even if you are sinned against, I mean, think about this, take divorce out of it. If you are sinned against with your neighbor, isn't it really hard to not retaliate in sin? And so wherever there is sin, then we need to confess and repent. And even if your second marriage wasn't sinless, know this, God restores and forgives. and nowhere in the scriptures can I find a place where God says somehow breaking a second covenant does anything to help the first one.

So if you're divorced and remarried, then you need to put on display the gospel of Jesus Christ in your current marriage. Your vows matter. And so I think this is why Jesus goes and he ends with this thing on oaths or vows. He says, again, you have heard that it was said of those of old, you shall not swear falsely, but shall perform. to the Lord what you have sworn. Remember, you stood in an altar. And you said, till death, do us part. You made a promise. Jesus says, but I say to you, don't take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God or by earth, for it is the footstool or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great king, and do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Ladies,

this means a lot more right now than it did a month ago, doesn't it? Let what you say be simply yes or no. Anything more than this comes from evil. In other words, marriage is a covenant. It's not a contract. It's rooted in God's covenant with us. A contract is, if you do your part, I'll do my part. I think divorce is so high in our country because we walk into it like a contract. And you look at the contract and you're like, you're not doing your part. I'm out. And if your marriage is defined as a contract, there will be no place. place for love. There will not be a place for love because the best that they can do is work their way up to meeting your expectations in the contract. Think about the people that you have

a relationship with via contract. Have you ever fallen in love with AT&T or Comcast? No. If they do everything they are supposed to do, you are at least like benignly okay with them. The only relationship you have with them is when they don't do their part. A marriage is that no matter what you do, here's what I promise. I love you. Better or worse, sickness and health, rich or poor, for the glory of God till death do us part. Now, again, I'm not the author. I'm just the mailman. I just deliver it. Here's what I know. I know that none of us are clean in this. None of us are. At the heart level, all of us have stumbled in sin and fallen short at the glory of God.

And in particular to lust and divorce and covenants. There is picture after picture after picture of redemption in sexual brokenness in the scriptures. In John chapter 4, Jesus goes to Samaria. There's this woman, she comes to the well. They have this conversation about where you find living water. her and Jesus says, go get your husband. And she's like, well, I don't have a husband. He's like, I know you had five.

And the guy that you are living with now, he ain't even your husband. Okay. So let's just say she's all messed up in this area, correct? And you know what Jesus does? Jesus does not avoid the tough situation in her life. He says, go and get the toughest situation that you're most embarrassed about and you need to most help in. and you bring that situation to me, and in that toughest situation that you're most ashamed of, and you're so ashamed of you don't even get water when everybody else gets water,

you're here at lunchtime so that you can avoid everybody else. That's the thing I want to talk about, and in that sexual brokenness, he meets her right where she is, and he forgives her and saves her and calls her his own. He keeps going. In John chapter 8, they find a woman caught in the act of adultery. She has no defense. And this woman who is clearly sinned and in the wrong, when the religious leaders bring her to him and they want to throw stones at her, he kneels down with her, eyeball to eyeball. I think to let her know, you were an image bearer of me, and he gets eyeball to eyeball with her.

Draw some stuff in the stand. I think you're confused everybody. He looks at the religious people that like to slap labels on everything. everybody like divorced and he's all right all the perfect people y'all start and they're like well if the judge of the universe is going to start judging now I don't want him judging me and they bolt and then he looks at her and he says woman who condemns you and she looks around think about it man she is naked she got caught in the act of adultery she's bracing herself to get hit by a stone and instead she gets run over by the grace of God no one condemns me and Jesus says then neither do I

condemn you, but he does not stop there. Then he says, now go and leave your life of sin. She is redeemed. Maybe my favorite one? You want to talk about a divorce and remarriage that was not biblical at all? How about David? King David. When it was time for the kings to go out to war, David's lazy. He's laying out on his couch. He goes walking out on his porch and he sees Bathsheba and he has lustful intent for her to the point where he sins one of his guys. He says, to go get her and bring her to his house. And he sleeps with her. She's pregnant.

So what does he do? Her husband is in the army, calls him in, says, hey man, go ahead and hook up with your wife so that he can maybe get out of this. He's like, no way, not while my men are fighting. So he has his husband killed, puts him on the front line knowing that he'll die in the war. Now what is God going to do with that?

No matter how tough your sense. sexual past is or no matter how broken the conditions by which you got into your current marriage. I don't know that there is murder and divorce and adultery. Maybe. But if so, I got good news for you. David eventually confesses and repents. He writes Psalm 51. Against you and you alone, if I send, oh God. To what you read that and you're like, well, you kind of stand against your eye. you can't you kind of sin against a bunch of people didn't you david but all sin is the sin against god and then in repentance he cries created me a clean heart oh god restore unto me the joy of your salvation and god does and not only does he restore the joy in david's life somehow he redeems

this marriage that started out in a horrible way and not only does he redeeming you it, it is not condemned. It is not unfit for use because God uses that very marriage to produce a kid named Solomon who would build the temple and who would be in the lineage of Jesus himself. And so if God can fix this mess, then by the blood of Jesus Christ, he can fix whatever mess you find yourself in. You see, here's the point. That marriage is a supernatural covenant, not a contract, between one man and one woman till death do you part, and it is ordained by God himself. So if you're married, and it's going okay, does your marriage put on display for this world, the gospel? And if not, where do you need to repent? The way we're going to close is we're going to

sing a song. The first song that we're going to sing a song that we're going to sing is called Come to the Altar. And you may be thinking, well, how can I come to the altar? I'm in my living room, and I don't have an altar here. Look, an altar is not at a church, man. An altar is a place for you to meet God, and he is with you. So why don't you make an altar right there in your living room or right wherever you are watching it? And if you're single, why don't you come to the altar? And why don't you lay your desires and you lay your wants

and you lay your insecurities and you lay it on the altar and say, Jesus, I need you to be more than enough. I know that you are. Would you just invade me with a peace that transcends understanding? And if you're married, won't you pray for each other? And why don't you pray with a boldness maybe that you're not used to praying with?

Husbands, why don't you lead? And you know how you lead? Why don't you be the lead repenter and the lead confessor in your house? And look at your wife and say, I am so sorry that I have not loved you like Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Why don't you pray for the courage and the power to do that? And wives, why don't you pray for your husband? And if there's lust there, if there's pornography issue, hey look, why don't you pray to cast that demon out of there? Because he does not belong in your marriage. He has no rule or reign in your life. Get him out.

See, the disciples, they couldn't cast a demon out one time. And they was like, boss, how come we couldn't cast it out? He said, this kind can only be cast out by prayer. Why don't you pray those kind of prayers over one another? And if there's some sin in your life or some sin in your past, why don't you repent? Confess and repent. Maybe you have to call somebody.

Maybe you have to call your ex, and it won't make any sense to them. But it'll matter. You just say, I'm sorry. I own this part. That's on me. I am sorry. And if your marriage is on life support right now, why don't you pray?

Why don't you pray that the same power of God that breathed life into Jesus when he was dead and buried and brought him back to life, that maybe that same power could be breathed into your marriage. but I'm telling you healing comes first through revealing. Would you reveal to somebody that you need help? Maybe when the service is over, you would reach out to a friend or join a disciple group and let your church family get around you. We're going to start by singing, come to the altar.

Would you come to the altar? And then we're going to sing a second song. I want you to spend at least a whole first song pray. And then the second song we're going to sing is called Waymaker. Because that is who he is. in a place where we cannot see a way he can make. Let me pray for us. Our good and gracious Heavenly Father, God, we love you like crazy.

God, we thank you that we can love you because you first loved us. God, I pray for the marriages, the church of 1122. God, I pray for the husbands and the wives. God, I pray for those that have been divorced, are going through divorce. Lord, I pray that your words would convict where they need to convict, but they would comfort where we need to be comforted, and your word does not condemn.

So I pray against the lies of the enemy that would begin to whisper condemnation as if we are unwanted, because the reality is our bodies are not our own. We were bought at a price, that you sent your son, Jesus, to declare that we are wanted. God, I pray that we would walk in that freedom.

We prayed in Jesus' name. Amen. So would you please stand as we respond? We're going to sing two songs. You're going to pray right where you are. We're going to bring our ties and our offerings for the advancement of the kingdom. Let's respond.