The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - 01/09/2013 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #44

Episode Date: January 10, 2013

The first podcast after Joey's daughter was born. Dr. Frank Bredice called in to talk about Testosterone replacement. Clay Guida calls in ahead of his January 26th fight. This podcast is brought to you by Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount. Streamed live on 01/09/2013

Oh. We ready? Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Tuesday. No, Wednesday. January, what is it? The fucking ninth.

Yeah. Oh, shit. January 9th, 2013, the church of what's happening now. Coming at your cock suck. They do it, Lee. Are you wearing a Michael Jordan jersey? Just in Chicago. Don't worry about Michael Jordan.

All right. You want to give a fuck about Michael Jordan. Oh shit. Oh shit. It's that day, motherfuckers. The church of what's happening now. Joey Diaz, my brother Lee, Syatt, aka the flying Jew. What's up?

Nothing. What do you mean what's up with me? What's up? Coxuckers. That's right. It's over. The ordeal is over. She's been born three fucking days, 19 nights.

It would have been easier if I would have been that fucking Noah's art. You know what I'm saying? 40 fucking days than that. Let me tell you something. Tuesday, yesterday at 708 when my daughter was born, I could tell you a bunch of fucking lies. I was happy, but in the same way, I was fucking overjoyed because that's it.

I get back to fucking work. My wife has been home since December, like 10th, driving me fucking nuts. You understand me? It's tough to do anything when you got somebody behind. You go to a blackjack table, and you're winning, and you're rocking and all of a sudden something's going on, the metaphysics are off,

and you turn around, there's like a Chinese guy or something standing behind you, drives you fucking nut. Next thing you know, you lose everything, even your spare ribs, you lose everything. What I'm telling you, that I don't like people fucking sitting behind me. I never fucking do. I fucking hate it. Like if I'm in a restaurant, I'm when my wife sits behind me in that fucking bedroom, it drives me crazy.

I got to get the fuck out of it. So I couldn't write. I couldn't do much. We're back, bitches, you know what I'm saying? Like Gloria Gaynor's boyfriend from out of space ex-boyfriend. Lee Syattie. It's a beautiful fucking day to be alive. We've got some great goddamn guests.

As usual, this podcast is brought to you. you by Onit. Go to Anit.com and check out the makers of Fuck, Strongbung, which I took three of them today. That's what I drank this morning. A hemp fuel milkshake to get me over here. I've already lost five pounds since the other day. No way. Really?

Yeah, man, I stuck to my weight watcher points. I'm done. I got to go down. I don't like this. I don't like when you work out a bunch in you put on a bunch of weight unexpectedly. It was my wife's pregnancy because we're eating fucking young yums

at six in the fucking morning over there. But it's all over now. I'm happy and it's crazy. I'm really happy about life that I got a second chance of being a dad. Yeah. And, you know, I'm not one of these fucking guys. Oh, when she was born, oh, my God, it was the...

No, go fuck yourself. Stop being a fucking faggot all your life. Right? They're like fucking faggots. Oh, my God. When I held her, it's crazy. I got to go fuck yourself. What, uh...

I was by the door. Okay. When she was born, I wasn't in the mix. I was by the door. She dropped some blood out of her little monkey, and I saw it, and I was like, I got to go get some fucking air. I mean, it looked like somebody shot him in the fucking,

like Joe Lozahn's head. I mean, there was blood fucking everywhere. I mean, there was blood everywhere. And my wife was a fucking trooper. You know, we got there Sunday at one in the afternoon. She had that kid Tuesday, fucking morning. For a day, she was on her back. Just, you know, with the legs up with tubes on the fucking arms.

You know, I did like six-hour tours. And then I would leave for a little while. And I had some good friends that came. Duncan came back. yesterday with a fucking camera. It was hilarious. Duncan Trussell is, I don't get cancer. Listen, you got to put 19 bullets

in fucking Duncan to stop him and a shot to the head. This motherfucker, I'm in there my wife's got that big fat tit out. She's feeding the kid, and Duncan comes in with a fucking camera. And we were going to do the podcast, but they started moving her. So we didn't do the podcast in the hospital. The reason why I want to do a podcast in the hospital is because

a lot of people don't know, is Ricky Ricardo Jr. was born on TV, like in a way. A lot of people remember. The Lucille Ball. show, the real Lucio Ball Show got so big. If you've seen, I think it had a record that only, like, Seinfeld broke, like that most viewers, it was the night that Ricky Jr. was born.

It was like 1955 or something like that. Oh, I didn't even know that story. That's cool. That's why you'd come to the fucking church of what's happening now, because I drop it on you. My little brother, Lee Syatt, we got a fucking new name for this place. Little Jerusalem. This is what Jesus came to get

stabbed and shit. Don't go to fucking Jerusalem. They don't fuck around there. dumb motherfuckers. Everybody always well, come to you. Go to fucking Jerusalem. They'll stab you right in the fucking neck and put a Yamaka stick

on your fucking forehead. A yamacist. That's what we gotta get. Yamaka stick is just to put them on people's fucking forehead. Again, Lee, you got me drinking this Pepsi. I got you drinking this fucking Pepsi. I got you drinking a fucking bottle of water for you?

Coxic bottle water. What looks like Mike Belche? Fucking bottle water in the morning. I got cramps for two fucking hours. I love eating healthy, but water in the morning fucking kills me. I got to have, like, something first, then a little bit of water.

water. What's up, Lisa? Yeah, you're looking at me like you want to borrow 10 bucks. What's the problem? I always want to borrow 10 bucks. What's going on? No, I just, it was funny, because I mean, I've known you for like a year

and a half now, so I kind of... Two years. Two years. Fifteen years. Who gets a fuck? Whatever it is. So I can, I kind of can tell when you're in certain moods and that when I came over to help you fix your internet. Like, I could tell you, like, you were mad because the internet wasn't working, but it was just you, like, you really care about your wife

and when you're stressed, it comes out, like, not anger towards anyone, but it's just like you got stressed out. So, like, when I saw that it happened, like, half an hour after you call me, I'm like, oh, he must be thrilled. Guys, I, you know, I've been

unable to do much because my wife is around. You know, I can't believe she stays in the fucking room for the podcast sometimes. It doesn't come in, you know, must kill it. But, you know, she has to torture me at some point. They're like, what are you doing? What are we going to do? So it was very hard to settle into something

when you write comedy, when you, like I like to read, but I like to read to know that I'm not going to be interrupted for an hour, and I'm going to have total fucking peace. You know, like when I'm on a plane, that's perfect to read. That's why I always buy books before I fly, especially I love when I've got to fly long distances, like six or seven hours with a new book. Oh, Jesus fucking Christ, that is tremendous.

You get yourself like a biggest seat for 20 bucks, like business classes on, and it's worth it. If you have three fucking books, you've been dying to read, and you got two six hour flights. That's it. I'll put them down, and I'll put them down the hotel. You're probably the only one reading.

I can't even imagine. All I do on planes is listen to music or watch movies and stuff. Well, listen. You got five hours, okay? Nobody can read for five hours, not even Einstein. You have a headache,

your eyeballs fucking burn. So what you do is you bring an iPod, you listen to music for two fucking hours. You get up, you piss, you stretch. You come back, you read two or three chapters. You take a walk. You come back, you watch a fucking television show, some stupid show they got on there.

Then you go back to the book. I got movies on me. You know, we all got more. I thought I think I'm a big shot. I got movies on my iPod. I got Rocky and Man on Fire. Oh, shit. I will re-watch those motherfuckers to the screen blows up.

You know I got an old-school iPod. Yeah. Like, I refuse to get the new one because this one's, you know, I go to the gym with the fucking thing. It falls. It gets dirty. People touch. I'm not going to go buy a nice, but my wife has the new one. And she was always saying, take that one because,

You can't even put music on that old one. Oh, okay. I don't even think you put music on that. I've had the same 2,000 songs on there for fucking eight years. We don't listen to anything new anyways. Well, you do a little bit, but not really. No, I listen to it. Believe it or not, I listen to everything.

It's just, oh, like the idea that was listening to something that Ari listens to a lot. Ari had a problem for a while. I listened to social distortion. I've never heard of that. Oh, fucking horrid. Fucking horrid. It was fucking horrid. You know, and you listen to some of this music,

And you tell who they're trying to be. And I agree with that shit. I don't mind. You know, when you see me, the other than I, I watch Dice is special. How was it? It was good. I watched the first 20, 30 minutes of it. I wasn't busy.

I had some time. He had his kids on there. You know, I love Andrew. I love Andrew. You know, what really pushed me over the top when I came out of prison was my buddy, Mani Tamino had a tape. And he goes, you got to see this motherfucker. And he gave me this tape. And I was in an halfway house for New Year's.

Yeah. And at New Year's, they had a TV downstairs. And I had a TV in my room, but I had no VCR. I want everybody else to watch it. They're like, if you have movies come down and put them in. And I never forget putting Dice Clay in. And as he was saying, his material, I'm sitting there going. I think that.

Like when he says, you know, some guy comes up to me with a flower. Hi, would you like to buy a flower? Yeah, so I can plant it in your ass. That's how I walk around. When I'm walking around in the daytime, and I see these idiots. Like, I went, when we were in Hollywood, in Hollywood yesterday, you know, she had the baby, and then we went to this place for breakfast.

me and Duncan always go to Mimi's, but since I'm going to die, I was going to get the steak of eggs. Fuck you. Forget Mimi's. We went over to this new age place and had yogurt with steel oats and three Irish people in there, whatever fuck it is, because that's what they say to you, they're Irish, steel oats oatmeal.

And it's funny, we were by the Scientology Building. And he goes, you know, people play games. A lot of hipsters come to the Scientology building and they stand in front to see how long it takes them to come out and talk to them. But you can't even walk on that block. Did you know that? I've never even tried. No, I could care less about mingling with those fucking knuckle-knuckles

knuckleheads. But it's funny, they were telling me a story yesterday at the restaurant that they're the people who set up. Oh, really? Because I guess on that cruise ship, that's what happened. Remember, his son died because he got poor medical attention on a cruise ship from the Scientology people. Oh, shit.

That's why Tom Cruise's wife was trying to pull out. She didn't want Surrey on that fucking cruise. Yeah. So I heard that he was trying to get out of Scientology. Antology and that's all the blowjob and hand job allegations came up. Like, they got shit on Don Travolta. They got him getting cum on his fucking head. They got him fucking swallowing a dick before fucking, he sucked, what's his name's dick?

You know, DeJango, chained and chained. Yeah. He sucked his dick, unchained and chained. I haven't seen DeJango yet. Oh, it's really good. But I've been getting the SAG nominees. You know, they sang you all the movies. Oh, you got the screeners?

Fuck, yeah. Oh, shit. I got Argo, which I saw already in the movie, but I got it. got that fucking movie I watched last week, which is, it's killing. I'll talk about it with you guys. That's what a humble beginnings with De Niro and Bradley Cooper where the father plays an eagle fan. God damn, people. God damn.

If you haven't seen that fucking movie, go back. Fuck Abe Lincoln and his fucking hat and his English fucking accent. That guy could suck my dick. Go see fucking Silver Linings. Silver Linings Playbook, yeah. Go see Silver Linings. I haven't seen that yet. Let me tell you some.

De Niro acts again. And De Niro hasn't acted since like Goodfellas or something like that. He acted again. The guy's in it. I forget what his name is, his buddy that owns Ago, the restaurant in Santa Monica. The guy that in Goodfellas, when you walk into the hotel and get the blow, he goes, you want to see helicopters? That's like his childhood buddy.

That guy does a ton of movies. Good guy to the commercial with him. The chick from Hunger Games is in it, and she's fucking great. Bradley Cooper. I never like fucking Bradley Cooper until this movie. It looked depressing. No, it's a movie. It's a movie.

about what everybody's going through, right fucking now. We're all half retarded. Half of us got fucking problems. And Sally Struthers was in there. Okay. Sally Struthers fucking... You know, that's what... Everybody gave you that thing to give Tony Hincliffe?

Yeah. That's what I was thinking about, because I was trying to think about, when the last time Sally Struthers worked? That bitch hasn't worked since she did those commercials for those African kids that were laying there with flies on them. She can't work because there's no flies left in Africa. The kids ate them. Oh, gee.

The kids finally said, What the fuck, I'm laying here skinny and shit. I got all these animals. This is protein. They start eating those fucking wings laced with dog shit and got a... You ever see a piece of shit?

You see all these flies out of them. You've been in New York, they got green flies. Oh, shit, Lee. It's that time. Fat man alert. Fat man alert. I'm down a couple fucking pounds,

like five pounds. But I got this anti-dolorus. 100 milligram bite. I'm about to split with my man. Lee, Lee, Lealing because that's how we do it here in the church a motherfucking what's happened now what he got from me with any other music nothing no but I actually it's funny you brought up a movie that De Niro was in because I saw Django and I loved it

I like all the Quentin's movies but the one movie I haven't seen was um Jackie Brown and I was wondering if you thought it was good I like Jackie Brown Jackie Brown's one of those movies I never think about but when it's on I always watch it you know who's great and that Fonda is really good De Niro's good Chris He's a bunch of fucking Chris Tucker's in a playbook, that movie. Simple. He's great, man. He's fucking great.

Bill Todduck. It's great to see him in something other than a movie with some fucking Chinese guy playing comedian. He's greatness. Go see this movie just because it hits that home. You know, it's funny because I don't like talking about this shit, but I'll tell you, motherfuckers. I booked a movie called Grudge Match. And it's got De Niro, Stallone, Alan Arkin, Kim Bassenger, and Kevin Hartman.

That's not the most important. about it. I mean, I'm happy that's Stallone and De Niro and that's all fine and dandy. But Alan Arkansas He's huge. And listen, Freebie and the Bean in Little Miss Sunshine, when he gets thrown out from doing the heroin. You know, I love him. I love him. That's my comedy idol.

Freebie and the Bean, we're going to review with him and James Conn. Nobody remembers this fucking movie. Yeah, I've never even heard of it. Nobody remembers from the youth. It's a guy movie. It's the original like Midnight Run, you know. But, no, I like that simple play whatever the fuck in the simple linings playbook

Yeah, but um I know I already know what you're gonna say but as an actor because there's there's been a huge thing that some people at work were talking about how they didn't like Django because it was so

that he said nigger 8,000 times and it was they called it black splitation which is not I don't think but aside from you being a comic and a guy who doesn't really get offended that much if you like as an actor like how

when you hear people talk about that what do you think if you were going to go be in a movie and you had to say nigger 8,000 times does that offend you or? I say it for free all fucking day. Niggers, spakee, chink. Who gives a fuck? You know, people getting too fucking insensitive.

They're trying to make stuff up to fuck up their life. I don't even listen to those people no more. They just, you see it every day. You see it online. You see it on Facebook. You see it on. It's like they try to make, you know, they try to make a,

to try to be cool, to try to sound cool that, you know, nigger or whatever, it's 2013. If nigger offends you, it's time you fucking got a dick and just stuck one in your ass

and one in your eye and one in your mouth and took the plunge. Take the plunge. Just go over to the other fucking side and switch governments. Nothing should fucking offend you like that that you have to go to Twitter.

You know what offends me? You know what offends the fuck out of me? Let's get it out of the fucking way. By the way, when I see something nasty on television between 7 and 8, this is way before the kid was born,

before because I know that at 7.30 at night, kids are still watching television. Hey, I love sons of anarchy. But if I'm fucking 10, and I'm going through the fucking thing, and I hear dick and this and whatever, and kids are going to hear it on the street. That offended me. When I see a tampon commercial, and I got women sitting

in the fucking room, look at me next time. Next time there's women around, and a tampon. I'll go on stage and talk about stabbing a bitch and fucking her in the ass and eating her pussy and sticking my nose in her asshole. But when I see a tampon commercial, watch me next time. My heart stops. My fucking heart stops. I can't believe.

You don't have to advertise for fucking tampon. Everybody bleeds. It's a no fucking whatever. Just have an average a picture in a fucking online with a chick with a stick with a string coming out of a pussy

bleeding to fucking debt. And they'll decide. A tampon commercial now? You know, it's like rubber commercials. Really? I got to sit there with my friend's kid one day and the chick comes into the screen with a head sticking up.

I just got blown the fuck away and I got to explain to this eight-year-old why these people buying condoms and what the fucking condom is. I don't know. mind you advertising for condoms, but go late fucking night. But you don't see me going online writing about condoms.

No, okay, whatever. It bothers you. You move the fucking on. You focus on what's what's fucking important. That bothers you that they said, nigger ain't time? And it's people that are white. That's what pisses me off the most. It's white people. They ain't a nigger in the world that raises his fucking hand and said, I'm offended. They don't give a fuck.

They don't give a fuck. It's over. It's white people. It's fake fucking white people who go to dances and take pictures all fucking day of their drinking coffee. Those fucking faggots. That's who it is. It's the other side of this country that's ruining this country.

You know, it's like going to a comedy club. You know how many times I've gone to a comedy club? The comedy store. And the manager's giving me a letter. Really? So you left this comedy club, drove all the way home, got on your computer and wrote a letter about how you were offended. No, you're just looking for something.

If you were to just go home and eat your wife's pussy or whoever the next door to you? Seriously. If you just go next door and say, I was offended, The fat Cuban said nigger, more than De Jango. I'm going to go home and stick my tongue up my wife's ass and pull a big piece of shit out of respect. That's when you fucking, you know what I'm saying?

But everybody worries about everything else. They worry about this. You know, Daniel Taj said rape on stage. Did he rape you? No. Then go on with your life. Did you see the chick that wrote the letter? Nobody would rape her.

Nobody would ever think of raping this fat fuck. You understand me? So what's with this shit? Nobody has a daughter sticking that dick in this fucking obese, whatever the fuck she is. It's people like that that get offended for no fucking reason. Yeah.

People get offended at this podcast. They can suck my dick. I'm the one that's getting up with you at 5 in the fucking morning. Yeah. You know? Doing this out of the kindness of my fucking heart

because I love you cock suckers. Lee, what music you got for me? I gotta let's up with you. No, anything in the middle? Nothing? You didn't give me a song in the middle the album is to show these motherfuckers. You gotta have preps on your own here, Lee.

What do you mean? I gotta wiggle something from it. How about back to the motel? Just so we get going here for a couple minutes here. Just, You're killing me, Lisa. In fact, get over here. You're eating this fucking fight right now.

I want to hit crying or tears. I was fucked up. I fell asleep on the couch. I don't give a fuck. It's great to have you guys. You're the church that was happening on my little brother, Lysayette. She's talking about different movies and the church of now. You know, they give you a cookie in Jew church?

No. In Jew church? I'm trying to save my money. Jesus Christ. The power of Christ compels you. I'm going to give a special chance to my God. girl, Auntie Dolores in the house I love with a debt from Stone's already. Yeah.

I'm excited about the baby and I'm excited for my wife, guys. I got some good... Get over here! I'm trying to get the song started. Give you two seconds. Like this, like a little lady on a porch. Tremendous. You're going to sleep like a baby, Lee.

Who the fuck loves you like me, cock sucker? No, don't be looking at it. There's nothing, because then you take it over that and you break it and a half. Let me see, eat it. The power of Christ compels you. Let's go. Chew it, that's a boy. Mmm.

Don't be putting your fingers in there like you, that's a boy. You're gonna sleep like a boy, you're drinking Pepsi for them. Chew it, so you break down the T.HC. That's a boy. Oh, yeah. Get it together, Lee. It's National Jews eating fucking Bronnies Day. What's the problem?

You're making faces? Oh, my God. That's it, I got a straight gas. I'm dropping you off on a black neighbor today with a wallet full of 20s and no way home. See if the Django Unchained Houches. Oh, yeah. Here we go now. I hate to taste the weed.

Sure you do. You hate to taste the ass, too. It's an acquired taste, you know what I'm saying? Wait until you get that in your face. Oh shit, back to the hotel, wait. It's a beautiful Wednesday, motherfuckers. Get up there, sniff your balls

and see why the fuck God put you on this planet. They're waiting for you to go out there and take their fucking paper. They're waiting for you to go out there and tell them who the fuck is the Captain Kirk of the Enterprise. You know what I'm saying? That's what they wait, man, until they're cock suckers.

Don't be scared. It's a new year. You gotta get out there and do your thing. I wrote a bunch of fucking goals down, just like Jim Andy said. I got goals down for the week. That's why I started with this weight thing. It's a new year.

It's 2013. The Myers didn't show. I know half of years are disappointed. You wanted to shoot yourselves. You know, you doomsday preppers, but it's over. It's time to answer. It's time to fucking claim responsibility for what the fuck you do.

What's the matter with you? You're over there huffing and puffing and like this? I don't know how you eat that wheat. I don't like it. I don't like the taste. And I got to go to the doctor and get a shot today. Because that means I'm probably going to fade.

But you know why I ate the weed? I did it. I respect for you. Stop complaining. That's right. You're a good dude. You have about 45 minutes until I'm passed out. So.

What, 45? You're fine. We're going to do jumping jacks after this. We're going to get some oatmeal. It's over. We'll put you out the fucking program. Let me give some people some beautiful shots out. Like I said, on it.com.

I'm fucking on it. And I love it. That strong bone has definitely sunk into my legs. I have no pain. I haven't been jumping rope with the kickboxing place. But I've been getting on the top. I've been doing everything else. I just want to give some great fucking shoutouts

because I've been watching you motherfuckers lately. Joe Avalo, Sammy Wilson, Sebastian Sab Hempura. He's a bad motherfucker. My man, Izzy Rock, Frank Elfranco, Cliff Kenny, Ali Baas, as usual down there in motherfucking Australia, holding it down. Neil Samuels, the Jew of the Year. I love that, motherfucker.

As always, Leroyne, neckbone. It's the first week of January. He's already the Jew of the Year. Martin T. Yeah, he won it last year and this year. Ray Blackwood. And I want to tell your sister Renee, happy birthday, Mr. Blackwood. Tell her I love her. I don't know how old she's going to be, but tell her put those tities away. Aaron at the gym, I fucking love you. And that's it, guys. We got my man, who else is coming in today? You know what was crazy about yesterday? The best thing about it, I don't know a lot of people don't know this. I love fucking Elvis. Really? Oh, come on now. How the fucking... See, you guys in this youth didn't get Elvis be able to. into you like we got out what's been doing too we got a call coming in all right what's happening brother hey Joey how are you hey who am I speaking to Radici what's happened Dr. Bradici great for you to call

how are you today my friend actually just got back from the gym which is not that exciting getting there at a quarter to five but I did it for you that's why I love you how was the gym today another exciting day at the gym at a quarter to five how long is your workout go doctor I used to get about four 40 or 45 minutes, and that's pretty much the end. And how many days a week? I usually go like three days on, take a day off, three days on, take two days off, three days on, take another day,

and then like every third cycle I take three days off, because, you know, I'm 64 and you kind of need more times recuperate. And I don't do a long workout because, you know, it's too much on the old joints. Are you taking strong bone from on it? Pardon me? Are you taking strong bone from Honit? See, I've got to bring me some of that stuff.

That's what I've been taking, and I'm a fat fuck, and nothing really hurts after I take that. But anyway, the reason why I had John, doctor's my doctor. I love this guy that's that one of the coolest fucking doctors I've met since I had Orlando Devaya, and he stops telling me fucking blow in the 80s. Doc, I love you to death. You're a great doctor, but tell these guys what you do. Well, I'm a chiropractor physician. I used to be the head doctor for the U.S. Olympic Medical Team,

and right now I, besides doing my muscular skeletal practice, which I love, for the last 18 years I've taught and done hormone replacement. That is just good. Meaning replacing hormones to a normal level, not superphysiologic levels, which we know, I'm sure I listen to you all the time, so I know the guys that call in, they know about superphysiologic levels. We're talking about replacement levels just like it normalized. So that's kind of where I

The focus of my hormone practice is to get people to have normal balanced hormones And what's the age of the people that usually come in to see you doc? Like I'm going to be 50 and Doc before we get any farther my baby girl was born yesterday Oh congratulations that's great and you named her Mercy Sophia Well my daughter's name is Sophia

There you go see I kept the Italian in there too I have to get the Italian name For the people who took care of me, I had to give them something back. By the way, not to pitch a movie, which I wouldn't because I wasn't in there or anything, but did you see silver linings by any chance? We were just talking about it. Because I just came back from the gym. I have to tell you, I begrudgingly went to the movie.

I really enjoyed that movie because it kind of, you know, look, and I grew up on the East Coast Italian family, I have to say, there's a lot of parallels. Who overwrote that, definitely, you know, it was pretty right on with the family part. It was when they were yelling and scream and sit here, the Malook, touched the remote. When she made the brajole at the end?

Oh, my God. When they were making the brajole, I was fucking dying. I know. I showed, I got up in the movie today. I'm like, honey, look, that's fucking brazo because my wife is as white as can be. She's never seen a fucking brajo. She just heard us talking about it. No, it was amazing.

And how good was De Niro? I was surprised. How good was De Niro? How good was that young girl? Even Bradley Cooper was tremendous. Chris talked. Oh, yeah. You know, I guess I, because I don't know him that well, even though I go to, he was, he was great, she was great,

and the Niro's the Niro. I mean, when he gets, you know, he can, trust me, I know he can get into that part without much of a stretch. Yeah, he was, you know, it reminded me a little, that's the first time I've seen him funny since midnight run. Absolutely, you're right. I totally agree. I actually said that to my daughter. I said he hasn't been that funny and that, like, timing since midnight run. Look, you mean, you're the expert comedian, you know, but I mean, I think he kind of walks through.

rolls a lot, you know, just kind of, you know, takes them. But I think he enjoyed doing that movie. No, he did. You could tell he was happy and his buddy was in it. The guy that was in it with him is the guy who owns Ago. Right. Right. I know.

Yeah, I forget what his name is. I did a commercial. I can't remember either. And we kept in touch. The main owner of Ago. Ago, yes. So he's a great guy. So how old are usually the people that come to see you?

Well, you know, it's changing because when I first started doing a hormone replacement, my patients were middle 50s, and up, okay, in male, and, you know, 45 and up in female, because that's when women tend to start getting pre-menopausal, okay? But I have to say in the last, you know, decade, it's dropped down to I see men in their late 30s and early 40s all the time now, coming in with low testosterone. And it's a common thing, Doc? It's very, very common. You know, it's controversial as to the reasons. obviously there is no one reason.

I mean, my feelings, and I have access to about 145,000 blood tests from males through the International Hormones Society. And when you see it broken down, you can see that it's getting lower and lower in the age group, having low testosterone levels. So, you know, one, I think that we live in a, quote, you know, like an estrogen and dominant society, and I'm going to get in trouble for this, but I don't care. I mean, it's for a long time, you know, the men, you know, we went from macho guys to being, how would you put it?

Supposed to be more sensitive and get in touch with our female side. Now, I know that sounds ridiculous, but when I'm talking to guys, I see that in the younger generation guys, the guys in the 30s and early 40s, they've been so indoctrinated that they're supposed to be like super sensitive. That's one. Second thing is we have a lot of estrogen in the environment from the pesticides. They're estrogen-like compounds, and they bind up testosterone. But more than that, what they do is they kind of replace places where testosterone can go.

And the third reason is I think that, you know, just genetically, as time goes on, as the years go on, you know, hundreds of years in each generation, it's not as important for men to be, you know, physically super dominant macho. So I think there's a natural progression where we should have a slight drop in testosterone. But I see drastic drops. And I had a guy come in the other day. He's 29 years old. He swears he's never taken any performance enhancing anything.

And his testosterone level was, you know, like about 50% lower than it should be. And, you know, when you're looking at testosterone, Joey, what you're trying to look at is you're looking at the whole picture. You don't just run a testosterone because the hormone levels in a human being, when I teach this, I try to have the doctors understand that it's a symphony, and you can't make the string section really loud because then you're going to overplay the horns. So you have to check basically a lot of hormones initially,

see where the patient is and just try to balance them, because the body does do much better in a lot of hormones. state of balance. We know that. How about just emotional state? You know, you're better when you're balanced, okay? Look at the movie we talked about just now, okay? Obviously, they were pretty out of balance for a long time, but hormone balance is all you're looking to do, okay? You wouldn't want to have testosterone through the roof, okay, and a thyroid hormone that was in the toilet because they play off each other and, again, you're going to have symptoms and you're not going to know where they're coming from. And so most doctors, what they do is they run a total

testosterone level. They go, okay, I'm going to put you on testosterone, but they never checked to see what the patient's estrogen level was. And most of the time, when I got men coming in in their 50s, their estrogen level is elevated. Estrogen becomes elevated, okay, from testosterone, getting converted to estrogen. So they come in with low testosterone and high estrogen. If you give them testosterone, without blocking their estrogen, they're going to feel good for two or three weeks, and then they're going to fall off because you raised their estrogen too high. So I'm trying not to get too technical.

I guess I'm trying to point out that whatever physician you see, they need to do a whole gamut of testing and understand it off the bat, and then you just tweak it a little, and then most men stay pretty well where it's supposed to be if you only check. But after the first year of having somebody on hormone replacement, Okay, unless something insane happens, I always know what the blood results are going to look like. And I go mostly on what patients tell me, not what blood work says. Okay, if you're going to treat a piece of paper, which is the lab report,

don't even have the patient to them and just look at the paper. But patients tell you a lot more from what they say, what they look like, and how they act, then that blood report, that blood report, as far as I'm concerned, is to cover my butt. Okay, you know, in this med legal system we have, you have to have blood work to cover your butt. And, you know, once you get somebody level, you just don't, you mean, I pretty much know what to do without blood work. So that's about the extent of what I could throw at you in five minutes. You know, it's funny, doctor, that I had never believed in it, you know, and after I had the child, They said I had some rash, and I had to go and get a blood test,

and my doctor said to me, I can't believe you got your wife pregnant with how low your testosterone was. And I didn't even know what that meant, you know, and I have a friend that's a doctor that I see at all the UFC's, and he talked to me about it. We talked about working out, and now I'm sore after the third workout, and he said, you should maybe give a shot. And what are the real pros that you see?

Like right now, the one that thing that killed me, Doc, I went to a Dodger game with my uncle. He's 74 years old. He's been on testosterone treatment. This guy walks five miles a day in Griffin Park. Every day. You can't. And he's the horniest guy in the world.

If I call him at 9 and go, I got a chick here with a tremendous piece of pussy with firecrackers and their ass come get her. He goes to Griffith Park. And we went to a Dodger game. Have you been to a Dodger game lately, Frank? Dr. B. You know, you walk at a Dodger game.

Oh, yeah. You got to walk a long way. You got to fucking walk. This guy. was running. He was fucking running with a hot dog in his hand. And here I am, dirty in his youth, and I can't keep up with the guy. And that was it. That's what pushed me over. That's what made me come see you. And I tell you, I feel great today as we speak. Well, see, you know, the thing is, is when you have a low testosterone level, you can still

father children, because think about our ancestors, okay? They may not have eaten anything other than some berries for a month. But the way the earth was populated was men are pre-genetically, trust me, we are wired, and anybody who doesn't believe this lives in La La Land, okay? Men are wired to see, to visually see, a woman. If they're attracted to the woman,

they want to have sex with them in the next five seconds. Okay, anybody that doesn't know that or agree with that, you know, is lives in a La La Land, because that's how the earth was populated. Men jumped on everything that was moving. Okay, so even if they didn't have super high testosterone levels or whatever, okay, so the last thing that goes when you have low testosterone is Mr. Winky, because that's kind of like the nature's safeguard.

The things you see mostly in hormone, in men that are hormone compromise, testosterone-wise, is one, loss of drive, loss of initiative, loss of focus, more body fat, less muscle mass, not great cardiac function. Okay, those are the main symptoms that I look for in men. I always ask the question to me, what do you wake up, you know, with an erection in the morning? And it's funny because, you know, men are like, oh, well, sometimes. You know, and then, well, sometimes comes out to be like, you know, once every three weeks. Okay, so testosterone levels are men.

men are highest in the morning. Okay, one, two, most men get up to have to take a leak. So the combination of high testosterone and your prostate pushing on your, quote, genital urinary system makes you want to urinate and you're supposed to have an erection. Okay, so if men aren't having erections in the morning, it's not my only gauge, but it's something that makes me know that there's some, that there's an issue. You know, on that point, on that point, Joey, there's something,

men come in and go, I can't get it up. I need testosterone. I say, you know, testosterone only initiates the wanting to do it. After that, there's other things that take that come into play. That's why these erectile dysfunction medications work so well, because what they do is they put more blood in there, and they close the valve down behind. And when you get older, what happens is less blood goes in for various reasons, and more than less blood going in, that valve at the base of your penis doesn't close down all the way.

So, you know, goes up and then it kind of fizzles out, like, you know, have like a balloon. So the erectile dysfunction drugs do two things. They put blood in and they close the valve. So erectile dysfunction drugs work, they could work hand-in-hand with testosterone, but they don't replace testosterone. and testosterone doesn't replace them. There are two different mechanisms. But usually when you get older, I'm talking too much, I think I'm teaching here.

No, you're great, Doc. This is, I'm fucking, well. Here's science has outpaced nature. It has, meaning there are more people alive now than there should be. We haven't had a big plague. We haven't had a big war. and a lot of children, men and women, get through child, they get through their, you know, they get out of the womb, they probably shouldn't make it,

and science saves them. Then they get a childhood disease that would have killed them 100 years ago and it doesn't. So in some ways we have genetically inferior people in mass, not specific, but taken in the big picture. And science has, you know, has made that happen, but nature hasn't picked up the pieces, for instance, like women go through menopause. Let's say a woman goes through 50. It used to be 65, 68, 70, they're dead.

Now, if they don't get cancer or heart disease or get run over, they're going to live to be 95. So we're talking about women without estrogen and progesterone living 50 years. They're going to drive us crazy. Sorry, women out there. So, see, what I'm saying is we don't have. have, we don't have any reference point for, like, what it's supposed to be like if you're 85-year-old woman or 85-year-old man without hormones. Because nobody lived that long, and the people that did, let's talk about men, the men

that lived long, healthy lives, they fathered children in their 80s. Tony Randall, Anthony Quinn, they had kids in their 80s, late 80s, right? that means that they were like genetically superior and had unbelievably high hormone levels. So the rest of us, you know, we don't, we're not in that 5% or 8% of like genetically superior people, but we're going to live as long as they did. So, you know, science has to figure out a way of making it so that we can, until nature catches up with, and it will.

You know, the body adapts them. that after a couple hundred more years, hormone levels, I'm sure, will stay at a higher level longer, or some other mechanism will take over and even things out. But right now, we're like in a crisis when it comes to hormones. I can't believe I'm the only doctor that sees all these people with low hormone levels. I mean, I know I look for a lot of things, but the main complaint in the United States is I'm tired, I'm depressed. I'm tired.

I'm depressed. In men, that's testosterone. Now, let me ask you this, Doc. What are the symptoms when somebody should go see you? What should they be feeling? After they get there? No, what makes them go see you? I mean, what would make them...

If they're coming in for, quote, hormones, nutrition, et cetera, okay? The men come in with... It's really only one. one of two things. They'll come in and say, you know, my buddy sees you and, God, he looks different, he feels better. He's like a different guy.

Or they'll come in and say, you know, I look you up on the internet or some of the, my other doctor told me to come and see you. I'm tired. I'm really tired in the morning. I don't feel like working out anymore. I really don't feel like doing anything. I got a lot of belly fat.

I just have, like, no motivation. I certainly don't want to have sex, and I just feel like crap. That's the general symptom of somebody who comes into seeing me. So again, and the other one is, you know, it's not that I feel terrible, but my friend feels unbelievable, which is always a scary thing, you know, my friend, so that means that, you know, they think they're going to have the same response as their friend, but they might not have the same problem. But those are the two type of male patients that I see. No. No. Let's... Let's pretend your home.

Will this help you work out? Will this help you lose weight if you go on testosterone? Okay, so number one, testosterone is not magic, but when it comes to the single most important thing, think of anything other than positive mental attitude, okay, which testosterone also helps, is testosterone will make all men. Once you normalize their levels,

feel better mentally and physically. I mean, nothing else really does that. Now, I'm not talking about anabolic steroids. I'm talking about all anabolic steroids are made from the testosterone molecule. But testosterone normalizing a man's testosterone does the single most remarkable change of anything you do for a man,

meaning your workouts are definitely going to be better. your energy level will be better your outlook on life your disposition your focus your drive will all be better again it is not the fountain of youth okay

but it is the single most important thing you can do you know there's all this this talk now for the last 15 18 years about growth hormone human growth hormone hg hg hg hg has its place but if you put it against testosterone testosterone is 100 times more important.

But there's not a lot of money in testosterone, meaning doctors prescribed testosterone. The pharmacist either compounds it or has it ready. Your insurance pays for it. Growth hormone is usually sold through the doctor's office at a very high profit. So when someone comes in and goes, I want growth hormone. I go, well, I'll check your levels. I said, but it's more important for you to take testosterone. And they go, well, I read on the Internet, I read on the Internet.

What you're reading on the Internet is not the truth. The truth is, growth hormone has its place, but it's not as important. In fact, I can guarantee you that if we did a study and I put you, Joey, our growth hormone today for one month. Then next month, I put you on what you think is growth hormone, but it's just plain bacteria or static water. You won't know any difference. but if you're on testosterone now and next month I put you on what looks like testosterone isn't trust me in five days you're going to call me up and tell me you feel like crap

Are you serious? Yep That's not a maybe and anybody who doesn't agree with that has a definite financial gain from selling growth hormone Doc this has been a great into the you're phenomenal I don't even know all this stuff existed I've been around for a lot of years Joe You don't look at when I see you

Yeah, you look beautiful. I was somewhat of an athlete, so I kind of made all those mistakes that everybody else did. Oh, whenever I go to your office, you tell me your stories about going to the Olympics and stuff and throwing a hammer, so it's not like you're just some dude from Santa Monica. I just started doing this 10 days ago because his friends told him to do it at Gold's champ. I could never be a dude from Santa Monica.

You know that. I love you, Doc, and I'll see you this morning. I'll 830. Okay, you take care. Doc, thank you for calling. Tell them your number and where they can find you if they have questions or a web page. Okay, well, I'm in Sherman Oaks, California, 818784-2060 is a phone number. Well, you can just, you can Google me or you can go.

The website is Office, O-F-I-C-E, at Dr. Bredici. D-R-B-R-E-D-I-C-E.com. And, Joey, thanks again. You're a great guy, and this is a great show. It's all the time, and you're the best. Love you, Doc. Thank you very much for doing this. I hope they get something out of it.

Have a great week. I see you this morning. Damn, you're going on that shit, Lee. I was going to ask him because I... I'm going to put you on that. An alpha brain, your little cullo, and you're going to be a new... I put an alpha brain in my asshole last week.

Tremendous. I was doing jumping John. Nah, fuck that shit. I've been taking the alpha brain again. It really is... When I take alpha brain, if I tell you something, I don't need to get high. Mm-hmm.

That's why when I first spoke to Joe and Arbby, about the alpha brain I was really impressed because if you're having a problem with getting high or whatever like coke or give it a shot give it a shot for 30 days it's really weird so give it a shot but uh that's why I'm happy this guy called I've been going to see him for a few months now since like I think I started the process in October the screen actors guild union the doctor said go go talk to the guy you know and I went up there and I even let the guy give me a needle, guys. And a needle didn't hurt, and I'm going back to this morning.

I didn't even feel it. And do I, am I getting, I tell you, I feel a lot better. When I first started working out, when I was 415 pounds, I was basically going to the Y and I was hitting the bag for 30 minutes, a stationary position, and riding the bike as I could go along. So I started, listen, the first time I walked into the Y in 2005, I felt a longest yard, I got on the bike for four minutes, and the guy told me to get, no, no, no, not the bike, the treadmill.

at fucking 2.5 walking and after four minutes I had a tap out. That's why I started. Then the second time I went, I almost drowned at the fucking Y in the Olympic pool. So don't tell me guys about going and having a hard time.

This was terrible. This was terrible. Getting started, getting healthy. Like right now I know a lot of people that this was their new year resolution that would have given start. And my heart goes out to you. You know, I started this resolution

that didn't work for me this year in like December because we discussed it. Fat men alert, fat men alert. that you'll gain a lot of weight over the fucking holidays. My mistake, I didn't eat sweets or nothing. My mistake has had a pregnant wife. Somebody put it, they're like, you didn't know that, that when your wife's pregnant,

you gain weight, you know, and we ate. We ate whatever the fuck you want it, and I worked out the hardest I did, and I gained the fucking 10 pounds. It was embarrassing. But guys, we all try at this, and there's nothing like your fucking health, and I saw it yesterday. I saw it yesterday when that little baby was born yesterday

that I was like, dog, six, seven years ago, I can never do this. I was doing a grandma blow a night, and my diet was terrible. You know, I bought two bags of Fiji apples at the Farmers Market Sunday. They're fucking gone. They're gone already.

You know, I make it a point to eat the... And I'm a fat fuck, but I told you guys, there's a difference between being a fat fuck and a healthy fat fuck. You know, and if you've got to eat five apples a day and you don't lose weight, so be it, but at least I'm trying. You're fucking trying, you know,

and I like the diet sodas and shit, but lately I've been taking that water and freezing it. You know, regular water, And freezing water, there's two different fucking drinks. You would drink cold, cold water, and you're like... I love it. This is fucking delicious.

When I lived in Israel for six months, I would take half a bottle of water, freeze it, and then pour in in the morning, I would pour it in because it's fucking... Fucking... A hundred degrees there. So you would have, like, a huge ice cube, and it fucking feels great. Oh, my God. Cold, cold. My wife turns me onto it.

My wife fills up that thing, puts in the freezer, and then at the night I see it, like, a five, stabbing it with a knife. And she's like, you see this little water in here. That's the fucking jizzy gist of gist. Oh, geez. But I'd be interested to talk to him because I was born premature, two months, actually. And for my entire life, I've always been the kid who likes TV or electronic stuff. And I like sports, and I played sports until through high school, but I was never great at it.

So if I had the guess, I would guess I probably have low testosterone. Just be, and I have no medical reason for. To think that, it's just, it seems like it probably do. You know, you want to, you know, at 20, listen, that fucking age of 20, who needs a fucking blood test? You know, I didn't take a blood test from like 15 to like 40, you know, and I lived. And when I took the blood test and I called up, I'm like, are you sure? I don't have herpes? You sure, I don't have fucking this and this and that.

Because sometimes when you get a blood test, you're like, what the fuck, these guys are lying to me. You know, there's got to be something that mix. Look again, cock suckers! but no I'm happy with what I do and I'm happy I'm going to see this doctor and I want him to call just to see just to answer questions that I had I had a bunch of questions too I don't want to do steroids HGH I didn't want to know I don't want to put any of that shit in my body I'm fucking 40 something who wants to be walking around a 40 something muscled up with veins coming out around us people know you're doing something you know

you're lying or something you know I don't mind people doing steroids I could get you know if you're an athlete go for it that's what they pay you the big money for It's these idiots that do the steroids for no reason. Really? You're doing fucking whatever. You don't wrestle. You don't do nothing. You don't do nothing. Just to go to a bar and shit like this. And whatever, to each his own. Everybody's happy on their own level.

But, you know, put a purpose to it. If you're going to do fucking steroids, go to a competition. You know, go to a jihitsu fucking tournament. Go do something. Go tackle somebody in the park. Go mug somebody. I don't give a fuck. When my friends were juicing, they weren't playing.

They were just mugging motherfuckers. You know, when you're juicing it, you want to mug somebody and throw him in the fucking river. Lee Lee, motherfucking Leland in the house. I love you, Lee Cocksucker. Wednesday, January 9th, get out there. Get the fuck up, get out there.

Clay Gwita is in the call in a couple minutes here. We got Clay Gwida. Oh, shit. I'm glad to me. I love Clay Gwita. But it's Italian day here. I have Clay Gwita and Frankie B. Berdici.

But the other day, over the break, you know, over the break, a lot of people, you watch shit. You don't usually watch. Maybe you went home and you had six hours to kill. and, you know, Galaxy Quest was on the other day. That's my movie. That's my motherfucking movie.

I caught up on a lot of shit. That's one thing I'm mad about it because I was with my wife. So we had to make options. So we watched Galaxy Quest. I fucking, that's my movie. Tim Allen, my girls are going your weaver. I watched little aliens the other day. I watched some shit over the holidays, guys.

I caught up on a few movies. I caught up on Sons of Anarchy, Season 1. I just got two and three in the fucking male, you know, because you put the baby on your chest. When we were talking to Jim Jeffries He said to put the baby on your chest Yeah That kids like that

So he goes just It's a lot of lazy time the first couple weeks So Just to help my wife I'll put a movie on and whatever But one of the albums I listened to Oh my God I listened to Iggy Pop

And I listened to a Richard Prior album over the holidays And I listened to What the fuck at the Peshmo With the old albums When I did Eddie's podcast He turned me on to these Other Depecheon

I just listened But one album that I put it on just one day, just to kill time while I was writing, I was writing my dailies, was Led Zeppelin too. And yeah, it's got a whole lot of love on it and what should never be. And let me tell you something. Like by the third song, it was the Lemon Song, right? And Lee, I had to stop doing what I was doing and my eyes were tearing up.

I used to listen to the Lemon Song every fucking day. But it's funny, we had a party in the Heath grade, right? like a basement and there were teachers there. I will never forget, no, I'm lying to you guys. It was freshman year, eighth grade. My freshman year, I had always heard a whole lot of love. Okay. Okay, I always knew about a whole lot of love

and you knew about, you know, whatever other album, a song on the album. I used to always buy albums for that song when I was a kid. You follow I'm saying to you? Yeah. You bought Black Sabbath Paranoid. It was for Paranoid and War Pigs. I didn't listen to the rest of the album.

But I did, but that was early. I'm at a party. My freshman year, I was part of it. the gourmet club. The gourmet club chips in every month. And the first Sunday of the month, you take a bus full of your guerrilla buddies, and you go into New York City to a restaurant, you eat, and you come back. This is a true story, right?

The gourmet club. There was only a couple freshmen's allowed, a couple sophomores, a couple of junior. When we were freshman, my age group, the kids, I talked about Holloway and Conti, let me tell you some, we took over that fucking school freshman year. We started to fucking scoregirl cards. You know, one of the seniors, wanted to beat up Louis the nigger. Hernandez was a Dominican kid in my high school. The only kid that had an afro, and people

just call him Louis de Nigger. He even called himself Louis de Nigger because he had the Afro, but he was really Dominican. That's the kid we used to blow shotguns in his afro and watch the great kid. And me, Louis de Nigger, David Ruiz, White, Donald, all of us were part of this fucking gourmet club.

So this one Saturday, Sunday, we all chipped in, we were headed over there, and something happened to was bad weather. So we said, fuck it, let's just get a bunch of food from Jersey and bring it over this kid's house. And the teacher were there. Right, we're all downstairs. We're eating. There you go. Gorman Club. Shut the fuck up. What's happening, brother?

Hey, good morning, guys out on the West Coast. Is this my little brother, the fucking savage Clay Guida, the Italian hammer? You've got it, big dad. How you do it? How are you, my friend? Fantastic. Thank you. How are you, Daddy? Good, Clay. I don't know if you know this. You're one of the first fighters I've had on the show. I am one of your biggest fans. You know, whenever you fight, I'm there.

And what made me fall in love for you even more was when I met your family. When I met your mother, I fucking fell in love. And I want to get this out of the way. When I was a kid, I used to play basketball, Clay. And after my seventh grade year, I can never invite my mother to the games. My mother would say, when are you playing again? Never.

You know, and when I would leave to play, I wouldn't bring a jersey. I would pack the jersey and hide it. And she would say, don't you play basketball in the leagues? I want to bring my friends to come see. and I go, no, no, no, no. I don't play basketball no more. And the reason why she'd go crazy at the games. And that one fight...

She got two out of hand. Oh, my God, and she started telling the ref to suck her pussy and fuck you and fuck you. What are you looking? And they're kids. You can't... You know, up to the game, she was great. Once the game started, she put her war paint on.

And... She came on glues, man. And I don't know who you were fighting. I don't know what fight you were at. Your mom was sitting... I was sitting three or four tables from chairs from her, and I guess it was your uncle. And your mom...

My mom was going nuts and I was loving it. And it just, you know, my mom is gone and that's why whenever I see you, I always say, hey man, how's mom doing? What's going on in your world? You've been training? Yes, sir. Actually, I'll be getting up here in a little bit to go hit the gym, man. We're two weeks out from Saturday, the biggest fight of our life, man, and the home,

Sweet Home Chicago, too, as a matter of fact. So that's the 26, you're doing all this. You're causing some damage, correct? You've gotcha, man. It's going to be great. I'm trying to get out there. with you guys now who is your opponent on this card I'm fighting this guy

Hatsu Hioki's one of these crazy rice running Asian Japanese guys but you know he's like a salamander in the field man Jiu Jitsu guy gonna be good fight

brother you always put on a good fucking battle you always and it's... We're looking forward to it and who also out of your camp is fighting Mr. Soroni correct? Yeah we got Donald Soroni he's gonna be taking on to Anthony Pettis man

That's going to be a scrap. The little guys are going to be the main event. The little John Dodson at 125 is fighting Mighty Mouse. Oh, shit. For the world title, man. And Dodson's done there with you, too, correct? Yes, sir. He's an Albuquerque guy.

You betcha. So how many guys do you have on the card? We have four, and we also have Sean Jordan. He played football at LSU. Right, right, right. He played football. Yeah, some fullback won a couple national titles, or not he's fighting

out, I think oh, he's fighting a Chicago police officer Mike Russo Oh shit Yeah So there's gonna be There's gonna be some heated

Some fans out there man You know You know kind of pouring between everybody You know Now this ain't the first time You're fighting in Chicago This is the first time Since I fought in UFC

This is uh I haven't fought back in Illinois And since I started my career man I think it's been about seven years Since I fought in Illinois So to decide my backyard, I'm honored to be at the house at Jordanville. It's going to be awesome. And I even wore my Chicago shirt out of respect for you today.

I got a nice... When I did the show at the House of Blues, you threw me your shirt, which is too cold to wear that shirt today. It's a training shirt, but some other guy came in. I forget what his name is Mark. A great guy, he brought me this Chicago shirt. It's fucking beautiful, and I wear it out of respect. I knew you were calling, so I put it on.

let the people know I'm right. No, Clay, I love you. I love your style of fighting. You don't fuck around. I love the hair. I love that you're a rocking motherfucker. Every time I see you, you're running six deep. And, you know, you're the real deal.

Clay, I mean, I don't, you know, you see these fighters, and they got abroad with them, nothing. You're Jewish with your partners, and you're always having a good time. It's, you know, you... You know what, I think we're all kind of cut from the same... You and I, our families are kind of cut from the same clock. Just hardworking, you know?

Didn't come from... Things come from shit, really. We didn't come from much, man, but our parents worked hard, man, and just a lot of love and support, and we go out there, you know, when it's fight night, man. We go out there and put it on the line. It's never pretty, you know what I mean? We just go out there and get messy and have a good time and leave the fans wanting more. You know, it's hysterical that when I watched that night, I could see where you came from.

When I saw, when you go out there, you hear your mother's voice telling you, get the fuck up, punch him in the field. You hear it. That's how we, I was raised. I wasn't raised in one of those houses. 10,000 people however big the stadium as I can hear my mom screaming and I have Fucked it.

My brother wrestled and played football And you know what I mean? You don't understand. It's crazy. It's something to watch when you see somebody And where they came from And you can put it together. You're like, oh, I fucking get it now.

I get why Clay's like that. Look at his mother. She's a fucking savage. They had no choice, you know. How old are you now, Clay? You're a young guy. I just turned 31 a month ago to the day, actually. 28.

Yeah, today's the night. Happy birthday, brother. You're a young guy. You got a great career ahead of you, and I love you, man, and the people from church are what's happening. And I love you, and that's why I didn't want to take you from training.

I always called you for the short call, and I want to wish you luck. I know all these guys in the church. You got any questions from my brother Clay Guida here, Lee Syatt? Hey, Clay. There's the flying Jew, Lee Syatt. He's a good man.

Hey, my man, what's up, buddy? Hey, I, it's funny. It's funny listening and hearing you say you wrestled because I wrestled all throughout high school, and there was a bunch of guys on the team who had kind of your style, and I just started getting into UFC, and I was wondering, like,

because your style is a lot different, and there's a bunch of different people, like Carlos Condit and all these people who have different styles. How, like, why do you think you have the style you have, or is it personal, or is it because you wrestled, or what do you think that came from? Well, yeah, you know, I'd have to have a wrestling background, but if you look, man,

those guys have, you know, a lot of different skillset than I do. You know what I mean? They're very technical, whereas to me, I kind of make up for a lack of technique and with just heart and just, you know, conditioning and just go out there.

And I think, you know, we're going to beat nine out of ten guys just on determination, man, and being dedicated and knowing that, no one's better than me. You know, I mean, you might be better than me technique-wise, but when it comes down to them, man,

I'm going to just grind you to the man just because I don't give a shit, you know? And so it just comes from wrestling background, you know how it is, man. You've been through, you know, a season of wrestling, a high school wrestling, and, you know, in your case, you wrestle out to high school, man. You've been to the fire.

You know what it's like to make sacrifices and the weight cuts and, you know, being around your friends and family when you can't eat. You know, just going out there and getting it done, man, wrestling, people are, you know, wrestlers are cut from, you know, cut out of stone, man, just hard nose, and it builds character. I truly believe that.

You know, it's amazing when you, I'm out here with all these bubblegum wonderbread fucking Italians. You know, I grew up in Jersey, and I've lived in Chicago, and I've seen some fucking hard-hitting fucking Gitties. And out here, I'm out here with these wonderbred motherfuckers that everybody thinks they're in the mafia. And I see a guy like you that really is the motherfucking mafia with his hands. You really are. And I got to tell you, Clay, I've been out here. I'm going to be 50. Nobody ever even talked to me out here, Clay.

And all through the years, I kept fucking with him getting movies. You know, the longest yard, they told me I'd never get it, and I made a tape. I wouldn't put a football helmet on. So my style of life is your style of fighting. You got to shoot me with a fucking bazook in the head. You ain't stopping me, you know? And that's why I admire you. I admire you, because heart beats everything, brother.

Your apps, I don't care how many fucking steroids you do or whatever. Heart beats fucking everything. When I get pissed off, you know, sometimes I walk into an audition clan. I know this happens to you. You look around the room. I look at the room and I see the other guys in the room. and all of a sudden I go to that place where I'm not good enough to be in the room.

And it takes about four minutes of me digging deep and going, you know what? Every motherfucker in here could suck my dick. I'm going to go in there and take the fucking roll. And that's what I do. And I get that style, that same heart you have. So I love it. I love what you do, man.

I love what you do. It's fucking balls, heart, and sweat coming at you. And you're going to have to fucking shoot a motherfucker like Clay Gweeder to get him down. Fuck Heduki, Saguki, and his jiu-jitsu. You're going to break one of those fucking limbs and take it downtown with you to one of those bars in Chicago and bring that motherfucker at home. I can't wait, man. Jordan's going to have to shake your fucking hand.

You know what I'm saying? Fuck Michael Jordan Saturday of the 26th. It's your night in Chicago, Clay Guida. It's our house, man. The house that the Guida Mafia built, man. We're going to bring it down. The walls are going to come down. It's going to be unreal.

Don't forget that shirt, the Guida Mafia. The Guida Mafia. What time do you go to train now today? We're hitting out We're going to have to the gym in about an hour We got practice about 9.30 a.m. Mountain time, so yeah, about another hour and a half or so And then how long does that go?

We trained for about an hour and a half, two hours this morning And then right after that I got a 30 minutes of conditioning And a big, big old Olympic-sized swimming pool And then I got conditioning later at about five And then where's you're going to a concert tonight? We're going to go see this dance slightly stupid. There's some, I think, Orange County, they're kind of like sublime, a little bit like pepper, you know, kind of reggae, rock, punk, scass, something like that. So it should be

good time. Like I said, man, you live your life to the fullest, and I admire that. You're not at home reading some fucking Bible. You're out there doing your thing and living your life, and that's why I love you. I wish you all the luck in the world of 26th. I'm going to try my best to get out there and see you. I got a gig on the 25th, but if I get out of it, brother, I'll be there yelling, screaming with your mother, all right? I love you guys. Congratulations again, and how's the little one doing? She's doing great. I was there last night for a few hours, and she's doing great, and she's doing great, and I'm really fortunate. Do me a favor, Clay.

Give a big hug to Greg and Donald, and tell him I send them all my love, and that's one of my favorite. That is my favorite camp, and I'm trying to get a gig in Albuquerque, so I'd go down there. I was going to go down there with Eddie, Eddie was going to do a band gig, and I was going to open for him just to hang out with you guys. I was going to bring a camera and go get beat up a little bit, have Carlos kick me in the fucking face. Right. And so I love you guys with all my heart, and that's my favorite camp down there.

So tell Mr. Jackson, I'll have him on soon. Yes, sir. That means a lot, guys. Thanks again. And God bless. What's your daughter's name? I kept a little Italian. Her middle name is Sophia.

Her first name is Mercy. You know, my mother died. The Italians took me in. Even though they called me Spick a thousand times, they took me in. They fed me pasta for Zulu. So I never forgot that I still got my Italian fucking roots

So that's why we're on my I had two Italians on today I love you buddy Oh my man thanks again It's been a pleasure Thank you guys so much Have fun out there and be safe You have fun on the 26

And knock his fucking head off This guy's going down Love you buddy Love you both Get care big guys You too Damn I'm fucking fired up today

I'm gonna have to go Stab a motherfucker after the church That's what I'm talking about Get out there go live your life, cock suck. There's a beautiful fucking day to be alive. I'm not telling you this because the daughter, and I'm telling you this from my heart.

We're talking about Led Zeppelin, too. Yeah. So we're sitting at this gourmet club party as a bunch of girls, and there's a bunch of guys. Now, there's bad weather. We were at this kid, Robert Merlo's house. Okay. And we couldn't fucking leave.

I'm like, no, and all of a bunch of guys, I see him whispering, and they come over to me. You know, you got a couple bucks. I'm like, sure. And I give them, like, 10 bucks, or whatever. And there's teachers there. There's Mr. Palute, who's a gym teacher. There's George McGrath, Camelbrecht,

and there's this lady Miss Steffens who ended up marrying Mr. Palut, a blonde teacher, like a G-P-E teacher. And all of a sudden these kids leave and they come back with two cases of fucking nips. Which is 12 fucking eight-packs. And we started drinking and smoking dope and listen to music.

And these teachers from the Gourmet Club looked at us, they got their stuff and they just left. They were like, this is not what they're. gourmet clubs about we don't give a fuck the gourmet club we threw the seniors out we threw the juniors it was a bunch of freshmen and fucking sophomores and one of the arms they had on was led zeppelin too and I remember hearing it from the other room going what the fuck is this and asking like one of the kids what the fuck is this and they're like this is that one too bitch and I'm like I got this album at home but I've

never heard this before and I went home I think I was still stoned and I put on Led Zeppelin too until this day guys, I got to tell you something. It is one of the greatest albums of all time. I don't give a fuck what Rolling Stone tells you. Rolling Stone never played the fucking guitar, and it is one of the my favorite all-time

albums. But one of the songs that got me, because, you know, we're just talking about styles. Even my stand-up style, I got to take it from Zeppelin. The reason why I wasn't, the reason why I wasn't online, all those years, was because I used to say, you never see Zeppelin online.

You know what I'm saying? Zeppelin would never go online after a show and say thank you for coming to the show. They'd be too busy shooting heroin sticking a shark up some chick's pussy, which they did in Seattle, okay? No, they didn't. Yes, they did. It's in the book. Yes, they did. Yes, they did. Hammer of the God, it's a little baby shark. Oh, no. They put in her little monkey and masturbated

and I think she bit her fucking chlamydia. I don't know. I'm just, but I... I like their style, their rawness and there's no more of a raw song than this that you're going to play for me. It's heartbreaker. And now, people, before I play, a lot of you to turn in a podcast, well, fuck you,

Joey, lads up on their music thieves. Let me tell you something, bitches, okay? Maybe the love song has a couple samples or whatever. Listen to this, see if they could have stole this shit. Hit it, Lee! It's taken me, Lee. It's taken me. Listen to this, Lee, crank this shit. Raw.

Listen to the band, you shut off for you. Do it, motherfucker. You cock-suckers! People don't even have patience to do this thing. Listen to this shit. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Everybody joins in. Ready? Hit it Lee. That's the hammer of the guys, motherfuckers.

Wednesday, January 9th, listen to the shit. What? Fuck you with all these dumb-ass bands. Fuck Rehan. Fuck bullshit. The fucking guy jumping up and down with Jay Z. Listen to the shit. How'd they steal this?

You hate motherfuckers. So dance on a can't a wine. What? Abused my love a thousand times. I've a heart I try. What? We can't even turn it off. It's so strong.

It's too much, I'm about to shoot heroin. Lee. You ever shoot heroin? Put that up, Lee. No, I haven't shot heroin. Wiggle for Youngfoot Joey. It's Wednesday, motherfucker.

Heartbreaker. Listen to this now, Lee. It goes right into the Sabbath. Hit it. Oh, shit. Here we go. I've never seen me so happy. This is Led Zeppler, motherfucker.

fuckers. It's a new year. It's 2013. I'd like to thank Onit. Go to Onit.com. Get the fucking strong bone. Get the, get the fucking hemp force protein. Get the, uh, the shroom tech. I tell you what, I ran out of fucking shroom tech. And for a couple days there, I was huffing and puffing, but now she sent me in the order, so I'm back. Listen, have a great day. We might have a podcast Sunday. I got another sports guru for you, the Philly Godfather, who's going to talk a little about Donahue and the whole thing. I got the Donahue book. Listen, go to On it, get something. If you go in the box, you press church, and they'll give you a little discount on there.

I'm going to have Aubrey on Fremont next week to explain what's going on in 2013 and what they got coming up. And besides that, I love you, motherfuckers. Next Thursday, the Irvine Improv, 8 o'clock, what is it, the 17th. I'm at the Irvine. No, they'll have to look. It's 17. Next Thursday, 8 o'clock. And on the 25th, I'm doing two shows at Flappers and Burbank.

Go to flappers. com, 8 and 10 o'clock. Testicle, Testaments getting released, the 24th on iTunes. Go now and pre-ordered them. Besides that, I love you, motherfuckers. Go out there today and make them sniff your fucking dick and tell them who the Captain Kirk of the Enterprise is.

Lee, throw a kiss to these guys. I love you, motherfucker. Stay black. Have a phenomenal week.