The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #015 - DOMENICK LOMBARDOZZI - UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT

Episode Date: November 23, 2020

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off delivered right to your motherfucking crib. That CBD line. Candles are lit, cock suckers. Let's get this motherfucking party started. Hey, look who it is. What's happened? What's happened, you bad motherfuckers. It's Monday the 23rd of November. Another episode of Uncle Joey's joint. I'm here. I'm queer. What's happening? How was your weekend? My weekend was the same as every other weekend. No fucking comedy. I guess they're starting to close shit back down, whatever the fuck up, up, down all around. They're just starting to close shit up and there's nothing you can do. I mean, what turned into three weeks, four weeks, has now been eight fucking months,

and it's a holiday season to come. So everybody's a little moon and gloom right now. Me, I feel okay. What are you going to fucking do? They can take away your livelihood. They can take away this, they can take away that, but they can't take away who the fuck you are, motherfucker, especially on a Monday fucking morning here.

This year, Thanksgiving is when you sit around, and you give thanks for what you have. Your family and they're telling you you can only get together with two families. You can't sing, you can't talk loud, you can't yell, only two hours. So expect whatever the fuck to happen after this. I mean, it sounds a little like communist cube,

but only two families can come over. You could talk for fucking two hours, but you do the best you can. You know, if you got to wear a fucking mask, I wouldn't go somewhere where there's a lot of, of fucking people this weekend. I'm keeping my shit low. I don't, I don't ever go out on Black Friday they shop. But if Black Friday don't spell Cobb Audio situations, I don't know what done. You see every year people fighting and arguing and fucking ripping their mask off and shit this year. It's

going to be tremendous Black Friday. I don't know what the fuck they're doing. I don't know if they're just going to do mail only or Amazon or whatever, but it makes no fucking difference to me. It's Thanksgiving week, man. And, uh, you know, usually these weeks you sit around Thanksgiving, a couple weeks, the holidays, and you reflect on the year that passed and you give thanks for what's in front of you. Well, you know what, man,

as much as you people fucking having a hard time and whatnot, there's still thanks that you got your help. You got the people around you. I'm sure all these aren't going to fucking stick to the fucking curfew of just sit there by yourself and isolate whatever, a silatery whatever and just have Thanksgiving by yourself. I've done enough of those, you know. And like I said, I'm going to fucking do Thanksgiving.

I'm going to go down and see my brother first and see his family. I'm going to mask up because they got some old people down there. And after I'm going to some dear friends' house. I'm going to spend Thanksgiving with them. They're only going to have like seven or eight people over the fucking house. And then from there, I'm going to catch a dessert over another buddy. of mine's house on the way back and by that time the bulk of his family all have gone he's going to have some windows open and with any luck we got some nice weather if we get some nice

fucking weather then it'll be nice and easy everybody opens the door you could fart you could smell farts and breathe and everybody's all right can you imagine that said as it is already now I'm having a fucking hard time of like restaurants sitting inside but the numbers are okay down here in this county. They're a little higher up in, uh, up northern New Jersey. New York City shut down, Philadelphia shut down, the club shut down. My heart goes out to them. My heart goes out to Wendy Curtis out in Denver. They shut her down on Friday, two of the best clubs in the fucking country and her restaurant. So, and this is why I didn't want to make dates. I didn't want to get all excited and make dates and start thinking that things are going to clear up because I

had a funny feeling they weren't. I mean, college kids are going to be coming back home. You're going to have gatherings. Listen, every morning you wake up and you go to yourself, ah, today they won't lock us down. We have another week. Another two. You know, they're rolling back restrictions in California.

Even though they caught that Governor Newsom having dinner with 15 fucking people. And that's the thing I don't understand that. Listen, man, you lead by example. You lead by fucking example. You know, I'm not a governor, I'm not a senator. I ain't shit, you know what I'm saying? But even I try to walk the walk if I'm in here talking to talk, that's the least I can fucking do. I tell you guys, I take care of myself. I drink water. I fucking work out, you know, I'm looking at different options to do because it's fucking boring in the daytime and you just

can't write fucking jokes all day. They've taken away our jokes outlet. I mean, I've got my Uncle Vinnie's. I did great last week at Uncle Vinny's. If you came for the show, you had a great time last week for the first time. In nine months, I had a beginning, a middle, and a fucking ending. Thank God. Thank fucking God. That meant the world to me. But, uh, you know, there's 38 people. They're running with 38 capacity. So, uh, some of us have nothing. And some of us have a little something to work with just to keep the, I could go down there every night. Listen, I can go out every night.

But there's a lot of things at stake. There's my health. And the other thing is, there's a lot of other comics that need work, too. It's not just me. There's a ton of comics in that area that could use some work. And, you know, you got the Stress Factory.

You got Uncle Vinnie's Comedy Club down in Point Pleasant. You got the Goju of Comedy, the Dojo of Comedy. You got Sam Tripley's place. You got bananas. You got some places in Jersey. But it's like a fucking third

to the comedians that they have. So everybody needs to make a little fucking money, you know. I take Wednesday nights. I don't take comics, big nights, which is the weekends. And that's what my fucking plan is. That's why I didn't want to book up December. People offered me New Year's. We don't know what the fuck we're going to do.

And we don't know where the fuck we're going to be. So why book something? Now I got it hanging out over my head. So next August, in the middle of everything else, once everything clears up, I got to stop what I'm doing and go make up a date from fucking two years ago. not what I want to fucking do. I want to start this laid off fresh when we know exactly we go out and be comfortable in comedy clubs. I doubt it's going to be fucking theaters. Just go to fucking

comedy clubs and start from there. I don't care if 100 people are going to come out. I don't see a lot of people running out. You know, the vaccines are hitting the fucking shelves here. Any day now, you got the one that's 28 days that's like putting icicles in your fucking blood. Then you got the other one that's just fucking, I don't know. I don't pay attention to this stuff. All I'm trying to do is live for today and how we're going to make it happen today. You know, right now is the time

when people call you up and they go, hey, what are you doing next Saturday? I don't fucking know. We don't fucking know because we don't know where the fuck we're going to be at right now. So if Philly's surrounded right now and New York is fucking closed,

we're right in the middle of that. Am I not? Right? We're right in the fucking middle. So obviously we're next And the sad thing is, like, listen, I don't give a fuck about me, you know, Mike, what do you do with your time?

Not much, you watch your kids are growing. That's it. That's all we're doing right now. So for me, it's them closing the schools again. Like Europe closed, locked down, but to let the schools open, this school that my daughter goes to hasn't had a burp, and the other one in town hasn't had a burt.

Not even a fucking misappen. Not even a teacher. Not even a fucking email. So that's the only thing I'm worried about. They close up the kids. Once you close up the fucking kids and the schools over the holidays, we're going to have a lot of fucking problems. Because there's really nowhere to go.

It's not like, at least in California, you could take them for a fucking bike ride. It's 60, 70 degrees here. It's already starting to get nipping the fucking hairjack. There ain't much to go. And you know me, guys, every day I try to toughen it up. It's colder. It's colder.

I go from my little fucking walks. you know but after a couple minutes it's fucking cold out there I got the long underwear on order I got the long t-shirts on order it's gonna get cold for a chubby dude and trust me I haven't been in the fucking winter I haven't been to Colorado winter

since 84 when I was homeless I did 12 I did their New Jersey winter when I was homeless I did 12 Colorado winters but you could do those with a fucking hood and sweatshirt on those aren't that bad They only get about two weeks of really, really, really, really intense cold fucking weather in Colorado. The rest of the year is, you know, yeah, it's 32 for three days, but then it goes up to fucking 70 for four days and everything melts.

It's hard to take a cap, you know. If you're a fucking weatherman in Colorado, that's a tough fucking bitch right there, Jack. That's a tough motherfucker. I know of you guys, there was some UFC fights this weekend. I did not even watch them. I don't have a fucking clue what's going on anymore in the UFC. That is crazy.

That somebody called me up Saturday night and they're like, hey, are you watching the fights? And I'm like, what fucking fights? I didn't know there was a fight on the card. I didn't know when they told me who was fighting. I had no idea who the fuck they were. So I love to talk about the UFC with you motherfuckers, but I don't know dick.

I know the Jets are 9. They suck dick. I know Cam Newton is trying this best. up there in New England. New England's fucking dying. I love you guys with all my heart. You know, I'm not here to goof on you. But we all knew was going to be a tough fucking season.

Now you got to add COVID to that motherfucker. New England's like, fuck! We had dynasties up here for 20 years. We had white people throwing touchdowns and shit. That shit all changed. Our boy fucking... Our boys down in Tampa Bay, nice and warm. He brought his little buddy Grimkowski back.

He's got Antonio Brown now. Who knows what's going to happen? That's a shame to see New England go from fucking that powerhouse all those years to just a regular fucking team. I've been paying attention this year. Why? Because I got nothing else to do. And for the first week on Sundays, now I'm forced to watch football.

So I go over to Jimmy Florentines in the afternoon. You either slice of pizza. I watched some fucking football with the guys. When was the last time I sat around and watched football with the guys? Never, because I was always too busy. fucking landing and fucking getting my fucking luggage ready and throwing my laundry out and the whole fucking deal but things have changed things are changed you're sitting there at home like joy what it wise is happened to me this happened to everybody and on top of the fucking shit that's

going on and on top of the shutdowns and on top unemployment not answering the phone you got just like people with bad luck going around that my heart goes out to them they cannot catch a fucking break. I have a dear friend that cannot catch a break right now. I have maybe four of them that they cannot catch a break, whether it's looking for a new place to move to, you know, the job open and closed right away. People are sick, people are dying. And man, it's like God's true test. They're testing your fucking patience. And trust me, I've been there a thousand times. times in my life when I'm like, this is not happening. And you know what I'm talking about.

Money's not right. Your girlfriend's giving you a hard time. Your boss calls. You sent out the wrong stuff. And then you go out into your car to start the car and you got a flat fucking tie. It's getting to that point for people where like they're like, you know, well, what the fuck is going on? I talked to a friend of mine.

Something happened told me got hit by the, you know, He got blindsided. And I go, are you okay? And I mean, he looks at it for what it is. He goes, this is part of what's going on right now. That's sad when we have to accept things like that. And only are things fall around around us. People are dying.

You know, it's not bad enough. We don't have a normal fucking life right now. But then the people around us are going down. People around us have bad luck. And you know what? I don't care how I'm as optimistic as can be. I'm tip-top McGoo every day. I wake up with my dick hard, ready to salute today.

But after two or three of those phone calls, it just puts you in their position. You go, what the fuck would I do if I was them right now, whether they have to find, I mean, I have a friend who's looking for a bad now during the holidays. You know how fucking hard that is to find an apartment during the fucking holidays and get settled and whatnot? You know, I have another brother who lost his fucking wife. It was his birthday Friday. When I talk to them Friday, he goes, this is the first time in 37 years I've celebrated a birthday without her.

I mean, you know, people are having bad times. And listen, you got to toughen it up right now because the times aren't going to get no better. They're not going to get better by themselves. It's not just going to miraculously happen that the fucking sun comes out. And there you are, fucking jumping up and down with your little ferries of boot pants on and shit. It's not going to happen. that way. It's going to be a process. But the most important thing is you have to hold on. You have to look at it and just fucking smile and go, this can't take me down. This cannot take

me down. Because it's just, it's little things. It's little things. But every day they add up. It's little things. Your package didn't get there on time, you know. You got a flat tie. The fucking light bulb went out. The fucking computer thing went out. It's like little things. And it starts, like I talked to a friend of mine. This hot water heater went out. The pipe went out in his house. He says he, he was taking a shower and all of a sudden shit started coming up to his fucking tubes, you know, and you could sit there and be upset and curse and drink or whatever the fuck you do to ease your attention. The best thing to do is just to sit there and say, this is part of the times. I mean, it happens here with me, and I can't even get upset about it. You know, it's just part

of what's going on right now. How you respond to it is how bad it's really going to be. If you lose your mind over it and go, fuck, this is the end of the world. And it is going to be the fucking end of the world. But if you look at it and go, this is just another day in the life.

I got to come back a little fucking stronger tomorrow. Then you will come back a little stronger tomorrow. Trust me, Doug, I'm going through this shit. I went through it with the comedy. I went through it with the podcast. And you know what? It was like, we had one day in here, we were taping, and one of my cats got stuck under the fucking couch.

I mean, you couldn't write it. Like, we didn't have enough fucking problems. We did the podcast outside, and the microphone didn't fucking work. People were blaming poor mic. It was my fault. I didn't fucking know. It was our first time out there. You know, everything I can go wrong could fucking go wrong.

But what are you going to do? Are you going to get depressed about it? Roll up on a ball and fucking quit? No. You pick up your balls. You salute the flag, and you go. We're going to go for it again and again and again and again until I get it fucking right. And that's it.

That's what being an American is. Being an American is not going to fucking outside tab. I voted with my little half a fag sticker on. No, it's learning how to fucking get up after you four. It's learning how to get up after you four. Right now there's so many balls going up in the air, you know, so many fucking things going up in the air. But think about all those balls. are getting juggled, what do they have to do with you?

Nothing. All these balls are getting juggled in the air, Black Lives Matter, this, that, whoever's talking about this, Antifa, fucking the election, how does it affect your everyday life? Is it going to make your unemployment come quicker? Is it going to make your kids computer work faster on the fucking Zoom? Is it going to, no, no. So eliminate all that shit.

eliminate all that shit because that's going to happen whether you're involved whether you like it whether you're not involved that's all going to happen all you can control is your fucking house is what what's in front of you and your happiness listen man i'm having a great time lately i have a lot to be sad about and i have a lot to be grateful about what i have to be grateful about what i have to be grateful about outweighs what i have to be sad about oh i can't do comedy well we'll do it next fucking year. That's it. You know, I was telling somebody that November's like a rough month of me, and they called me and they're like, I just want to check them with you. I don't know. I didn't mean it like that. I meant it that it's just like you think of things. How did they happen?

I thought about my mom's life. How did it happen? How did she die? And I move forward. I'm not walking around Johnny Ho-Hum for three days. I can't do nothing crawled up in a ball looking for fucking attention. Whoa is me. No, this is just things that you. you look at, you look back at, and you go, how the fuck that this happened? How the fuck did I end up there? How the fuck did I end up here? You know, I'm still in awe about the fucking, the no drugs and the addictions and all that shit. You know, I'm kind of, I'm a little embarrassed about my sobriety because my sobriety isn't like anybody else's. My sobriety works for me. That's the only person that's supposed to work for. It's not supposed to work for Johnny Bananas. It's not supposed to work for

Luna. There's a great podcast out there called the Dopey podcast. I don't know if you guys heard it. You know, the guy was a stone cold fucking junkie and he tells his stories and whatever. Now he's deep, deep, you know, he's doing a great podcast. He helps a lot of people and they tell great stories in the Dopey podcast. You know, he contacts me every once in a while to do it. And there's something I don't want to do it. It's that my sobriety is like everybody else's sobriety. You know, I like to smoke my fucking pot. I don't drink. But if I want to go over the fuck in the place and have a little sangria from time to time, I could have a sangria. Do I get drunk? No, I don't fucking get drunk anymore. I'd love to be able to. I drank out of the fucking. You guys saw me have a drink with the Drea

Mateo podcast. I just wanted my refrigerator. There was no waters downstairs. There was beers. So I took Estella. I drank. I didn't fall all over the place. I didn't, you know, shit my pants. or anything. I just don't do sobriety like everybody else. And with my sobriety, I didn't want to do fucking coke or pills or ever put myself in that position again. That was it. I took down what took me down. Rifa never took me down. In fact, Rifa makes me feel halfway fucking normal. It makes me feel like I'm doing something at least a little illegal to make me feel like I didn't fucking just switch governments and now I might have a fag full time. I like smoking a little pot from here to that. It just makes me feel a little dirty. Last night I ate a few edibles. It was

sad. They had nothing really on my responsibility plate. So I ate them. It's not like I used to be in LA eating edibles every day and whatnot. As a matter of fact, on Patreon from now on, we're going to have a little show. We're going to look at different edibles and how they affect you and what to expect from them and, you know, whatever. We're going to start that up pretty soon just to let you know what the fuck we're doing because I'm not eating a lot of them anymore. I'm not eating a lot on anything.

I'm just trying to get healthy. I'm trying to be a good husband. I'm trying to get this podcast together for you and keep running this Patreon so I don't get you people fucking hating on me like you do. But I don't give a fuck. I'm going to keep saying what I got to say, whether you like it or fucking not

because what I'm talking about is the truth to you. Keep an eye on your alcohol consumption. Keep an eye out on what you're doing over the holidays right now. I'm getting it from a lot of people that they're struggling with drugs or alcohol. And hey, it's a tough time to be a fucking American right now. I spoke to my old drug dealer last week. Just out of fucking, you know, we call each other up. I was telling a story about he used to have my old drug dealer had a guy that lived in a stairway.

You can't write this shit. So when you walk into his house, It was too leveled, but when you walked in, there was stairs. And there was, you know, how every stairway has little claws on there, you vacuum in there or whatever. He had a little black fellow that lived in there. His name was who that? I swear to God. Plus, the guy was a fucking a superhero on Hollywood Boulevard.

So we'd be over there fucking cop and cocker. And all of a sudden the fucking Hulk would walk in. You know, and the Hulk is a big motherfucker. This guy was a skinny little black dude. And he lived under the stairs at the house. He would have a little light in the head. He'd have his little fucking Nintendo games and shit. And he'd come out from time to time

and challenge the drug dealers, who were also African-American to fucking, you know, like, I'll play you with NBA 4, like the game, man. And he'd be like, who'd that? Get back in your fucking closet, cock second, before we beat the fuck out of you. Tremendous shit. You can't write this stuff.

You know what I'm saying? But I was talking to my drug deal. He was telling me cocaine. was up to 1,800 an ounce and he can't get enough of it because the more he gets of it, the fucking more he moves of it. It's hysterical.

So people out there snorting with fucking three hands. Thank God I'm not one of those people. I still got it down to my marijuana and I'm very fucking happy with it. But what I was saying is, I don't do so bright like anybody else. I just, I believe in the principles of AA. AA has worked for a lot of great friends of mine

that are friends of the program. You know, they're friends of John. They're fucking great. Well, you like that, who that? You know, I got to throw something in here for you, motherfuckers. It's not all about boo-hooos and he-hees. I got to throw a little story in there for you some time to plan. Oh, it was hysterical there.

He just opened up the closet and come out with half a Hulk uniform on. So you have the big, thick pants and the top. He looked like an x-ray. He looked like, Jesus, the phone. boy got stabbed. You're the Hulk. You're not supposed to be fucking skinny. But what are you going to do, people? Things are bad all over, you know what I'm saying? All I'm trying to tell you is that this week, be careful with the booze, be careful with the alcohol. New Year's is coming. You know, like I tell people, everybody over there will, I'll start doing drugs on the 31st.

Listen, if you start now, it'll be a lot better for you. If you start tomorrow, Whatever journey you're going to start in July, on December 31st, you could start it today. Let's wait until December 31st for. I'm not going to do that December 30th. Listen, people are going to put cookies out. I just can't eat 50 cookies. You know what I'm saying? I can eat one.

Ooh, the first part of the joint. There you go. The garlic is working. I almost fucking slipped out and went that way over my head. But who gives the Frenchman's fuck? That's why we're here. We're doing what we're doing. doing cocks suckers on the daily, you know what I'm saying?

Lee just farted on his podcast. Yeah, he farts all the time. It comes out of his neck, the poor bastard. I don't know what Lee's doing. He's up there in Boston. He's been hiding lately. He's getting high with his mom. He took two edibles. I told him he's in training. For us to do the Zoom, he's got to take fucking two edibles five days in a row.

And then we'll put him on the fucking join. And he's got to eat three the day of. That's the only way they want to see him. even show his head up there on. You have nobody's seeing Lee. Nobody is seeing Lee. There are no fucking pictures of Lee nobody. Not even FPA surveillance.

FBI surveillance. That's always one we'll wait to look for that one. But I don't know what the fuck's going on with him. But what I do know is we got a guest today on the podcast. We did a little Zoom with them. I'm trying to mix the podcast up for you. I don't want to be

on here for an hour like a fucking gavone and try to say you what I'm trying. I ain't trying to say you nothing. All I'm trying to do is talk to you motherfuckers and make your Mondays a little bit better. That's it. I'm not here to change nothing. I'm not here to fucking tell you that, uh, you know, all I'm here to do is to wish you a great fucking Monday, bring you a little bit of entertainment, a little clarity to your fucking world and just know that it's fucking Thanksgiving, bitches. It's our fucking week. Um, the guy I'm bringing on the is a friend, you know, uh, it started out by me being a fan of his work. I've saw,

I saw him in a couple movies. And then I saw him as a young kid on Law and Order. And then one night I was watching Bronx Tale and I figured out that it was this kid. So I don't know, Law and Order was his first performance or Bronx Tale was his first performance. And it just happened to be Bronx Tale. So he's been around for a long fucking time. and he just did a great job playing fat Tony Salerno in the Irishman with De Niro and Pacino. I loved the kid. He's got a ton of respect from me. He built a fucking fort that I saw

that I was just blown away and I reached out to him and he opened up his heart to me and spoke to me and I see that he goes to other comedy shows and whatnot. So I want to get him on the joint and talk to him a little bit on a Monday morning. and that's what we did. So now, without further ado, joint motherfuckers,

Mr. Dominic Lombardosie. I hope you enjoy it, and I'll see you, motherfuckers Wednesday pre-fucking Thanksgiving, Cogsuck Suckusk. Stay black. Dominic Lombard doze here, guys.

A fucking acting savage. How are you? Good, good. Thanks for having me, Joey. I appreciate it. All you need is Dean Martin there with the fire going. That's it. That's it. That's it. how are you?

What was this line? Don't drink and drive. You might spill your drink? Yeah. Dean Martin was the shit. All those guys are being in trouble now for me too and people. Oh my God.

I'm surprised they're having me too Frank Sinatra. Well, let's speak of that. Even like from a comedic standpoint, right? I mean, you couldn't do comedy that were in the seven. You couldn't do that in the colleges today, right? I mean...

No, no. The college... Even the clean... cleanest guy in comedy, Seinfeld, we're starting to have a problem with colleges. He says there was being two PC. Wow. And that's Jerry Seinfeld, you know.

But if there's one area where that has to go out the window, it has to be in comedy. I can understand a lot of different places, but when it comes to comedy, I mean, comedians, they need, they need that leash, you know what I mean? Well, you need a leash and you need freedom at the same time. At the same time, exactly.

At the same time. There's a thin line, you know, that we could use. It's part that you're classless or whatever, but if you're talking what's in your heart, it comes out authentically. And people know where you're coming from, you know? Yeah. There's a thousand million ways to say something. it could sound bad or it could sound good.

I think the purity in your heart is what makes it sound like it's just another day at the park. Without a doubt. But usually good comedians and you know I love comedians, man. A few of them are my friends. And I've always thought when it comes to comedians, nobody has it harder. Maybe writers do, people that, you know, see things from inception and create something.

And maybe it's because I'm an actor. I have a completely different point of view. But when I talk to my comedian friends, or I see them work, I can never do that. I can never do. I mean, I've been listening to you for a very, very long time when you started with Rogan and all. that stuff and I love you guys together.

But yeah, let me just go to the club today and we try new material. That would freak me the fuck out. I can see, you know, they did, you know, they always do that survey and they said, what are people scared of the most dying and speaking in public? Yeah.

You know, public speaking is very, very hard to do. And I don't think you know, you know, when you do stand-up, somebody comes up to you and says, Dominic, you're a funny guy. Try stand-up. And you put in the back burner, you watch a couple tapes.

When you go up there, that high, you know, that high, it's for theaters, it would be doing live comedy in a theater, live theater, right?

Like not, you know, sometimes you tape a TV show, half of it is on segments, on tape, then Friday they come in and they do, the live stuff. Yeah.

You know, there's some rush you get from an audience. Oh, absolutely. I had a little bit of a taste of that. I did a sitcom. We were doing the pilot, and it was a multi-cam. It was, and we would rehearse, and then we would, it would be in front of a live audience kind of thing. And I had my taste of that.

And I can't tell, I wish the show, I wish it would have got picked up, and I would have had a few episodes to do that. But to make a long story short, it was a great feeling. Landing that joke, hearing the crowd laugh, then resuming. And I hear it from theater actors too. It's a different type of rush. It's musicians. They get the same thing.

When you have a live crowd, it's a whole other ballgame. Like, I never saw a stand-up live. I listened to Richard Pryor album. I listened to Lenny Bruce albums. It all hit me when I went to see a show by the name of Beatlemania. I don't know if you remember that show. You were a kid when that show came out.

I've heard of it, though. Yeah. It ran in Broadway for a long time. And I remember leaving there thinking to myself, like I, you know, I didn't know music. I was just a young kid. It was a school trip. But when I left that theater, I kept wondering about how they felt up there,

how they felt being up there that always struck a chord with me. And in the back of my mind, I just put it deep, deep, deep that someday I'm going to have to try that. Right. I don't know if it's going to be with a guitar. I don't know if it's going to be by myself. You know, I didn't know about improv then. I knew about nothing.

Right. But I always knew I wanted to try that. Well, that's your career. So I joined the band. Yeah. joined the band. The band broke up in the sixth grade. And I just knew being a musician took a lot of work. You know, like it took a lot of commitment. So I bowed out on the, on the musician stuff. And then years later, yeah, it's a different discipline. Different

discipline altogether. It's funny. I talk to a guy now that's 70 years old, he's been in three are the biggest bands in the world at one time or another. And when I call him sometimes, he still practices four hours a day. Four hours a day, he practices. That's just, that's to let you know. And he's made it three times over. White Snake, Ozzy's band,

and somebody else's band, you know. So for me to get that, that, and he's 70-something years old, which is even more inspiring. With passion. It's passion too. With passion, yeah. You know, people always want to know,

they don't want to get into acting because there's no money. They don't want to get into comedy where there's no money. They don't want to get into music because there's no money. There's got to be passion before there's money. Or it's the reverse. They think there's a lot of money. They think all that stuff comes along with it, but what they don't realize is the tremendous amount of sacrifice.

they think automatically, you know, I hear it a lot of times. You know, my daughter wants to be an actor. My son wants to be an actor. I'm like, great, you know. They take some lessons. And I tried to steer, I tried to give advice to what I wish I was told. Because I, like you, Joey, I took a long road with a lot of twist in turns, you know. And I kind of related to, you remember this, I don't know if you remember this camera.

You remember the apex? auto trade school commercial the ball then you learn a tool the tool goes in the box you remember that yeah same thing with me I felt like my my whole career was like that I go you know try something if it didn't work well now I know not to do that

and well not to do this I had nobody kind of coaching me so I could relate to that so when I give advice I try to give the best advice and the most honest advice and sometimes the honest advice is not what they want to hear. No, no, they don't. The honest advice is hard work.

Yeah. And commitment and, you know, blowing off weddings to do what you, you know. Walking off. Dominic, I got to put you on a play. And it works Tuesday through Sunday and you got two matinees. You know, people can't do that. They're like, well, I have to go to this person's wedding. you know, it's just so many,

and I'm just talking about the topical sacrifices. I'm not talking about sleeping in a room with another man when you're a grown man, you know, driving all night in a bus with grown men. These are sad smelling feet and men fart. These are sacrifices that you put yourself through that as a college educated person, for example, would say, I don't need this.

Like, I don't need this shit. Right. It's a journey, you know, and you have to just put, you have to put yourself completely in, or this just isn't going to work for you, you know? I believe that. That's the advice I give myself that I,

I've seen over the years. I took some acting classes. I love to audition, Dominic. I hated doing the work. I have great advice for that. An actor buddy of mine, his name is John Dorman. Fantastic actor, great character actor. director. I played with him on the wire. He played the commander. I believe it was roles. And I would

always, and I've worked with him after that. And we were just talking and he has a great perspective on it. He goes, well, I just look at it this way. It's acting for free. It's acting for free. So you just go, You learn, and it's like you're going to work that day, and you're not getting paid. And he's right. So now when I do an audition, I really get into it. It's like I feel like I'm going to work the next day. I put myself on tape because I'm here in Westchester. And let's be honest, that's the way things are being done now.

And I have a great time with it. I have a really great time. I have a great time trying to. I still, even though I haven't worked since February. I still look at monologues and I try to remember. I just try to keep the, you know, the tools sharp, so to speak. But I always had that approach. I hated audition.

I always felt it was a tedious process. I didn't like the room. Sometimes I always felt people had this preconceived notion about me. And it would get in my fucking head. And I was like, you know, scrap that. This is a job. going to work and

and I just roll them out I love it just it's like you're acting for free it's the best advice I ever got how old were you when you got into it young

yeah it was I believe I think it was 14 for a Bronx tail it was an open call and I remember going in with a bunch of kids because I'm from Arthur Avenue I grew up on

187 Street and Prospect. That's a good neighborhood. Yeah. Long time ago. Yep. And I've met all the kids, everybody was going, I mean, I really didn't care about it. You know, I wanted to be a ball player, you know. All I cared about was playing softball, baseball, you name it.

And it went in for a read, and I kept getting called back and called back. And then, I mean, Joe, you had to see. these lines, people were coming in from Staten Island, Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan, everywhere. We were coming to the playhouse that was on Arthur Avenue. And it just dwindled. And I wind up getting the part. One day of work, principal role, got in the union. My mom made me join the union in case if it's something ever needed.

God bless her, you know. And then it wasn't a few years later where I got, I did this independent movie called Kiss Me Guido, which was like this underground hit that Paramount picked up and distributed, and that's how I got an agent. But then, you know, it was casting calls going in and just a grind, man. I still remember you on an episode of Law and Order. Oh, wow.

Yeah. With Glennie Briscoe, a long time ago. Yeah. Stolen Stereos or some shit. I didn't even have an agent at that time. Like those gigs, I didn't have, they would just, I guess they would have a list and they would call people. And I remember going to those auditions.

They were like cattle calls, 20 people, 15 people. You would have to wait like an hour and a half, two hours. but yeah, all the New York shows. And I always get, you never were on the Sopranos. How was the Sopranos movie? It was great. It was something I was looking forward to because I always wanted to work with David Chase.

Right. Comedically speaking, you know. I hit my goals. I got to work with Harold Ramis, analyze this too, not the best movie in the world, but for me, I got to work with

Ahrer Ramos, one of the greatest comedy minds. And we talked and he gave me some advice and I ran with it. And with, it's so weird what you take from different directors. You know,

there's a well-known comedy director in Hollywood that does a lot of shows for CBS. I've worked three times as the guy. I've never gotten nothing from the guy. like there's no, I didn't learn anything with,

I think the most I learned from was like, uh, Sam Ramey was very good to work with. Uh, when I did a movie for David Spade, the director spoke to me for a little while, even though it was a line, he taught me how to deliver it a different way. Right.

And it was great. And then I did my tourney. Yeah. And then the line. Long as yard, Adam let you do whatever you want to do. Yeah. God bless him. When it came to me, he was like, just do whatever you want to do.

So I had him and Chris Rock feeding me lines off, you know, like the camera was on me, but they're feeding me shit, giggling. They were very good in that film. Thank you. You know, and I didn't know what I was doing. I had no idea what I was doing. I was just looking at Nick Totoro and looking at Adam and. looking at Buffalo Bill

Bloomingrich, the guy from Buffalo does a bunch of movies. I looked at the real actors in that movie and I just tried to copy Cattle, you know, Bert Reynolds. That's all I did. That was my first more than three days on a movie.

Everything up to that was three days, four days. I would get the scene with the credits rolling through it in the beginning. This was the first time I had leeway and the only negative thing about that movie was that there was like two camps

there was the the Stevens camp Siegel, the guy who directed it and there was the Adam Sandler camp so you didn't know who was really talking to you so I would get direction from the director and then Adam would tell me something different so I would do

three or four takes and make it work. But I didn't know what I was doing that first day or that second day. And I got Tracy Morgan to the left of me. I got Chris Rock for the life of me. Everybody in that movie. I had everybody. So it was, I learned a lot from Adam. I learned a lot from the director.

But I always felt I love learning. I love learning something. I like when a director says, do this, you know, when you learn something from it. With David Chase, here's the funny story. I went on there with Mike Comedy bullshit and he shut it down the first day.

Wow. Shut it down. Why? I mean... He didn't shut it down. One of the guys on the set came over and he goes, stick to your lines. Oh, so you couldn't, you couldn't really ad-lib too much. No ad-lib, which I'm not used to.

you know, it's always your line and then I add something and it works. This was the first time I was told, this is how we do it, and it's a reason. And when I did it the first day, I was like, now I get why he's David Chase. Right.

And it was that quick, like I went. I went back to my room and I started rewatching episodes and now I understood how he worked. Why he used him? you're going to come, Joe, I mean, you're going to, you're going to come across that. The more, the more you wind up doing television, the more, the more film you do, you're going to come across that. There are certain writer-directors or writers that, you know, it's what they put on the page and that's what they want. And then, like, I worked with Judd Apatow over the last summer.

And it was like a shooting gallery of lines. you know and it's try this try that and then I've been on other thing where it's it's every punctuation everything oh you got to you know it's it's exactly what's on the page because that's their vision

and I understand that and I learn to respect that even in auditions I always want to put whatever on the page because at a to the writer because I haven't talked to the writer. You know, you don't feel these people, you know, you haven't seen them. You haven't talked to them. So I always have to give the writer that respect.

And then if they say, well, you know, if you could think of something, like I worked when I did the Irishman on Scorsese, Scorsese allowed that play. There's a whole scene, that first scene where I'm sitting down with Pesci and De Niro, and it's the first meeting where they come and visit Fat Tony, maybe those first three, four, five lines, that introduction, that's me ad-libbing. Bronx Tale was ad-living. The whole elephant, the gun, the gun stopping, the elephant driving the truck.

That was all ad-lib. So at first, I give them what they want, and then if there's something, but you're going to find that. you're going to find that everywhere. I don't get mad at them. I respect that writing. I don't get mad at them at all. No, not at all.

And I've worked with people that have said, you know what? That's a better line than when I had. Use it. I have worked with people who have said, your line is better. You know, use it or use my line first and then throw half of that line in.

Yeah. So I have worked with people. But I always want to respect the writer. You know, but I also have to look for a window as a comic. Of course. Maybe that he didn't see.

So I want to add a flavor to it with Chase. It was by the book. But I saw the fruit of his labor. Yeah. You know, like I saw it. So then I was like, okay. How was it shooting the Irishman? It was great.

I mean, I was working with, I mean, come on. I mean, I was working with guys who I had mine. my whole life, you know, there's nothing I didn't know about them, nothing I didn't know about their work. To me, Joe Pesci was everything. He was everything. He's everything. He's my, you know, I love De Niro.

I love, and I work with Dineiro on three different occasions. And to be perfect, I learned, he started my career. I think he also helped facilitate me being in the Irishman, because at first I didn't understand why they would hire someone my age to play somebody so old when they were eight when they were getting everybody that was old and they were aging them down so that being said being in the more when it comes to Joe Pesci I always admired him the most because I can understand probably the obstacles he had to go through you know and and man when he's on scene. When he's doing a scene, he's there, he's present, and

he owns everything. Every scene he's in, he just owns it, man. And, and, uh, he delivers all the time. So I'm sitting in there. He was great in the Irishman. Uh, he's,

he's, he's, he's, he was phenomenal. He's phenomenal in it. And, uh, especially to play a character that's that stoic, that's that reserved. compared to all the other roles that he's done with Marty and Bob and, you know, and just the more loud, the boisterous guy, now he's more, he's more late. And, man, he delivered, you know, and I loved working with him. I loved it.

I can tell. You look great. Everything about that movie was great. I watched that movie eight times. Really? Yeah, because. I would get there at three, three o'clock in the morning, sometimes 2.30 in the morning. And Mike Marino would start.

It would be like four or five hours in makeup. And then when everybody came, it was blocking time. So basically when I was finishing my makeup, which I was in a completely different trailer, they were coming to work. And I know Ray Romano, Stephen Graham. I know these people and they're sitting at my table we're doing the scene and I remember going up to Ray

and I'm like hey Ray what's going on how the thing's going and he's like hey how you doing Ray Romano I'm like no Ray it's me where are you like no one knew and Joe I never seen

without my makeup so who knows but it was a real joy just sitting opposite and watching these guys work Joey. I mean, it's like they communicate telepathically.

They hardly talk on set. And they just know. Moria just come and say, you know, let's do this. And, you know, whatever. And then they just, they're just a weld-oiled machine. That's the best I could explain it. It was,

I waited for that movie in anticipation. And it delivered everything. everything I wanted from that movie I got. It's a difficult film. I mean, it's a difficult film. Yeah, you know, and it's based, and I remember, I remember reading the book and I did all my research on fat,

as much as I possibly could on Fat Tony, because there really wasn't much. There really wasn't much. And, um, and if you read the book, Marty, the movie could not be, it had to be that long. to tell that type of story

because if you read the book, you understand why. But I don't have a problem I'm watching a movie for three hours as long as it's a good movie. Me too. If it's good, you got me. I have absolutely, no problem with it.

And I watch it on a plane, so I won't get disturbed. I watched the Irish spin on a red eye. It came out on Thanksgiving, whatever, that Wednesday. Yeah. And I was going to Miami that night. So I just fucking downloaded on Netflix, stayed up all night, took some edibles, and just watched the Irishman twice until I got to Miami.

I was blown the fuck away. It was great, you know? That's crazy. So congratulations. You did great on that. Thank you. Now, what have you been doing since February, besides cooking, building, reading monologize? A lot of personal stuff that I think me and you, we texted each other about.

That's been taking up a lot of my time, you know, stuff with my mom. And I tried to offset that with, I built the tree house. I loved it. I loved it. I did so much work. I did so much work because when I bought my house I gutted the whole house

and I did everything and so I just continued to do that I need the flagstones in the front so I would do the flagstones some trees needed to be cut down I cut down the trees I split the wood this is the wood right here so

tremendous yeah so I I've always liked getting I guess, you know, people paint and I like to physically do stuff with my hands. I guess that's my outlet, you know, but other than that,

that's really what I've been doing, you know, trying to stay safe because I've got to be around my mom. And, but other than that, you know. How's your mental?

I'm good. You look good. You look great. You know, you're smiling. Do boxing. I saw that. Yeah. So, yeah, it's hard. You know, I'm not going to lie.

It's a long time. I want to get back to work. But there's just, you know, I'm not the only one. You know, there's a lot of us that there's just nothing out there right now. You know, so if it means for everybody to be safe, and then that's what it's got to be. That's what I'm doing. just trying to stay safe. I know. I know.

Pass this time away. I got a show tonight. I do 38 people. It's socially distanced. You know, down at Uncle Vinnie's. I don't really do much. You know, I have high blood pressure. It's controlled.

But I'm still a little scared of getting the, you know, we're all taking the D and the zinc. And now they're saying melatonin helps and all this shit. I worked out today. I've been going to the gym just like you, you know. And that's all we can do. Drink water, get good sleep. Yeah.

I mean, you go to an actual gym, or do you go to? Yes. Yeah, see, I haven't been to like an actual gym. Where are you boxing? I go to my buddy, Ralph Faselli, has a place called Contenders up in Amok where I box and we hit the mitts. But if I do it with him, it's just me and him. outside outside or inside and i mean he has the machines he has the fog machines he has the steam

machine it's the clean it's probably it's the cleanest place on earth it's um and it's just that's that's what i do and if not i i i'll either do pull-ups or dips or or push-ups um at home splitting wood dragon wood and you know a lot of like uh I basically got the Rocky Five workout going on. You know, I try to do it all. I got the seven-year-old. Yeah. Which you guys are always welcome.

You guys are always welcome to come up. You have children? My girlfriend has a son, yeah. That's what the treehouse for. He's seven. That's what I saw. I was like, I don't know if he's got kids in that. No, I feel like I built this treehouse.

I'm going to be perfect. honestly. When I bought my house, I imagined everything when I was a little kid, the things I wanted and the things I never got because it just didn't allow for it. You know, I grew up in a five, five-star retirement on Prospect Avenue. My parents always worked. They always did the best for us. You know, they came here in 1969. So they would like that last wave from, from Italy. and oh shit yeah so they you know in retrospect

that's not a long time no it's not it's not and um I was here even longer than them yeah I've been here since 66 yeah so

wow that's what part Italy they come from Molis Mouz-Az Moli's Molesis region and so I remember these things like the pool

you know, and the tree house and the swings and, you know, the yard, the garden, all that stuff. So I said, when I get a house, man, I'm going to do this. And then my girlfriend, Josefina, she has a son. And he's like, I wish I had a tree house. I said, you know what? Fuck it. Went to Home Depot, got wood, started shripping all the wood. And I just started building it.

And I built it for Santino, and I built it for my, my neighbor has two daughters, with the sweetest things. And when they want to go in, they go in. When they want to go in the pool, they go in the pool.

As long as they got their mother's permission and their mother's around, that's fine. Oh, you got the pool too? Yeah. Built in or above the ground? I built it in. Good for you, man.

Yeah. So you put some investment in there, you added some equity. Yeah. It's funny with me. People, because I did all the work. Yeah.

That's phenomenal. That's just great. With me, when I moved to this area, I saw that all the kids had fucking swings and that same gymnastic shit. And I'm like, if I buy one, I don't mind buying one for her, but she's going to use the swing two times.

Yeah. And then they go to the park and they use the swing two hours. So it's just going to sit in the backyard. What the fuck can I put back there? And all of a sudden, you put the tree house up and I'm like, I went back there, I started looking at the trees,

started doing a little measuring. I showed him, I showed him. And, you know, I showed him your podcast. And I said, listen to this guy. See, look what he says. And it was when you mentioned the, when you called it a fort. He's like, he's talking about my tree house.

That's my tree house. he's talking about. And, yeah, so you put a big smile on his face, you know, you blew him. I love those things. I love, I'm an only child. At the end of the day, though. I had a tree house in the closet. Yeah. Yeah, my tree house was the fucking closet.

So I would go in the closet. Mine's with the fire skate. Yeah. Yeah. I remember I was on the second floor. When I was so lazy, I didn't want to throw my baseball glove. I didn't want to go upstairs to drop off my baseball glove. I would

chuck it up on this on the fire escape fucking fire you know the deal you know the deal with such a big part of our you know i when i came from cube i went to new york city and i lived on 205 what's 88th street uh okay i went to ps 166 for my first uh two years then my mother always had the bar in jersey so i ended up going to catholic school it's funny i went to my buddy's house before and his kids having problems with times tables and he goes did you have problems the Times table. I go, fuck no. I went to Catholic school. Those nuns beat that time table into you. Oh, yeah. I mean,

I mean, they eased up when I went. When you were going to school. Oh, the early 70s. They were fucking you up, dog. Did you get, did they have the paddle? They had the paddle. They had the pointer. Yep. And their bare hands. Man, I had we, I had God, God love him.

Father John no brother john brother john he was yeah he was a brother they were the two brother brother gilbert brother john so uh brother john he had these ears that were like this right

so every time he would turn around and right on the board they would go quack whack whack right so for some reason he thought it was me and he go and he turned around and he goes you and he had like man his his his his

his index finger was almost like a piece of iron. And he would point at you. He'd hear you in the chest, he goes, you better simmer down on Madozy before I knock you down. He got, it's the grace. I never forget this guy, but he had the things like this. But none of the paddle stuff, and I heard stories about the paddle.

Because I have cousins that are your age. And they told me, Even the ruler on the hands. Ruler on the hands. Stick your hands out. Yeah, holding the books with your hands out, your arms out. Yeah. You know, and you think about it now,

and it toughen me up a little bit. I didn't like it, but it's who I am today. You know, I don't like hitting kids. I have a daughter that I'll never touch just because I don't believe it changes you. You know, it doesn't, didn't do anything for me by hitting me. I was still a fucking savage. What are your plans for the rest of the year?

What are you thinking? What are you hearing? I'm hearing, I think, we're supposed to be locked down again, right? I think when Biden takes office, there's probably be a more, I think, a mandate of a lockdown. If that's what it takes to stop the spread of this thing and, and, and, and, and, and, maybe try to go back to some normalcy man, you know, and I don't know.

I don't have the answer. You know, but what I can do is only stay safe and hopefully there's a project that I could join where it's safe and go back to work. Do you trust a lot of productions? I know that there's a few productions that are going on, but they're existing shows and they're kind of like skeleton crew,

and but I don't know I don't really know much about other than that but there are some things that are going on I guess it's from state to state I guess

and but I don't know I would like to go back to work they talked to me about something in December December 6th to the 8th in Wilmington and I'm like it's too far away

it's too far for me to decide We don't know where we're going to be. How many days? Wilmington, North Carolina, three. For three days work? Yeah. You know, I don't know if we're going to have to quarantine on the way back. I don't know if they're going to put us in a hotel.

I turned it down because I just didn't even want to travel in December. I don't know what's going to be going on. You know, three weeks ago, they offered me Philadelphia, and a week later they shot 22 people in two days. there. So I don't want to say, I don't want to commit to a city, go into that city, and there's a bunch of violence going on. And I got to fly in and out of that fucking city. So for me, I rather take the chance to stay home with my family. And I'll take the knock. We won't eat out as much. I got to tell you, man, it's, it's scary what's going on. You know, it's a part of me just does

get it. I would think everybody would just want to just bunk it down, be safe, but it's just between this whole election and everything, I mean, even if you go on Twitter, the first thing, you go on Twitter, man, it's like people are throwing arrows at each other. Yeah, it's not good. It's not good. It's not healthy. And a lot of these people, what they don't realize they're doing is they're instigating so much stuff. You know, I remember, You know, I remember being a little kid, being in the schoolyard. You know, and you always had that kid who would, who would, who would, who would, ral shit up, but he'll be the first one to leave the, the schoolyard.

Yeah. And there are a lot of people like that on Twitter. And they don't realize the damage that they're causing. They're fueling. You know, you fuel things. I understand everybody has a perspective. I don't, I don't care if you're Republican. I don't care if you're Democrat.

I really don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I don't care. I really don't. And, but I do care about instigating and instigating violence and scaring people that I do have a problem with. Because at the end of the day, that's going to affect me if I'm going to store. You know, if I'll be three months. You know, it's a, but I think, you know, people have nothing else better to do, but get on Twitter and just start, uh,

instigating stuff. Don, the sad thing is that they really don't have nothing else to do. And it's not their fault. It's the position they've been put in. They're frustrated. They're waiting for an unemployment check. They're angry. You know, that's why it's like acting.

I always look at the scene before my scene. If I'm going to do something with Dominic, I want to know where Dominic is coming from from that scene and where I'm coming from. you know it's like the scene before you know so these people are at home they're not getting through the unemployment which is a fucking shame people they're not working their kids are out of school and they're in the fucking house you know uh they're getting time to think which is never good right when you get time to think and then you go to social media to get a few laughs because for me that's what social media is a few laughs and keep in touch you.

some friends from high school, and you can't post nothing. Everybody's got, if you post something negative, they go out of you. And if you post something positive, they go at you. So there's really no winning on social media. You know, right now, there's an abundance of people on social media because, like you said, they really don't have anything else to do.

Right. So. I try to put content out there that, you know, hey, you know, you like it. You know, things that I do, you know, I try. I don't go on Twitter or Instagram to try to sway people and what they believe and stuff like that. It's just not who I am, you know. But then again, I'm able to have, I just wish people would sit down with other people and have some sort of dialogue. I think that would really help.

You know, and, but it's just back and forth stuff, man. And I really don't want any part of it. And so that's basically what it is for me. It's just doing stuff, putting it out, you know, building the tree house or whether I do something around the house. Those fucking meatballs look good, too, a couple weeks ago. That's, that red lead you made. Yeah, I can't take credit for that. I make my own sauce.

So every August, get the. You know, tomatoes I make the sauce. I jarred maybe about 120, 25 mason jars. But my girlfriend, Josefina, she's the one. She's the cook. She's really good. So I can't take credit of that. Those lead balls look fucking delicious.

I'll tell you. She's great. I go for three of them right now. Yeah. But Dom, I love you, man. I'm happy you took the time. Yeah. We've become friends on social media, which is a positive,

especially in these times. and I'm a big fan of your work. I loved you and a couple things that you've done. When I saw you in Law & Order, I'm like, this guy's a career actor. What the fuck? He's not just a half a wise guy from the Bronx. This guy is the real deal.

So you have a big fan with me, and any time you want to come on, I just wanted to get you on and talk some shit and let people know we're not, we're moving. We put our pants on one leg at a time, just like everybody else. That's it.

I try to tell them. So whatever you guys are going through at home, we're going through. So we're going through it together. So why be mad at each other? Why turn on each other? Let's spread love, tell people you love them. And that's all I can do, Don.

And I'll be calling you for a fucking- Now that's church. That's church. That's church, man. Well said, Joey. Well said. I'll be calling you for directions on that house or a company who does it.

Whoever you want to come up and you want to get out of, just come up, you know, you know how to get a hold of me. So absolutely. It'll be great. You're always welcome here. Man, thank you. I love you at all my heart and you have all my respect. I love you too, brother.

Thank you for taking the time and coming on today. And if you ever need anything, please feel free to reach out, brother. Thank you, Joey. Love you, brother. Have a good day. Thank you. Peace. See you.

Peace. All right, you cocked suck, because I want to thank Dominic Lombon. Dozy, great actor, great guy, just loves comedy. I love him to death. I want to thank you guys, and I want to thank just you motherfuckers for being here, for being loyal soldiers, whether it's here on the joint or on Patreon, wherever you're at. But listen, from your balls to the butt, the best in men's grooming is manscape. The holidays are almost here, and it's the number one most wanted gift is manscape.

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Be safe. And have a happy Thanksgiving, Cuckuckuckers. See you Wednesday.