The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - 02/06/2013 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #53

Episode Date: February 8, 2013

Joey's sleep apnea doctor from Tower Sleep Medicine in Beverly Hills calls in to talk about sleep apnea. This Podcast is brought to you by Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH at check out for a discount. This podcast is also brought to you by Shari's Berries at Berries.com. Click on the microphone on the top right corner and use promo code HAPPENING for deals starting at 19.95. Streamed live on USTREAM 02/06/2013

Oh shit. Oh shit. We're back, bitches. The church of what's happening now? What do you see, cop suckers? It's February 6th, a beautiful Wednesday. I got my main man, Lee Syed, who's been slipping. Slipping like the motherfucking. Slipping. Had his yearbook, I won't show me his picture. His George Watson. Handel. What? I'm not in the yearbook.

Oh, I'm young cuffed up. Hit it Lee. Let me see Wiggle Funk with Joe. He's Wednesday. This is crazy. These guys are black. I never thought that. Rocking like a motherfucker. Look at the guitar player. Shredd and shit. Look at them. Burning, whatever's name.

What? By the way, they think black people can't fucking rock and roll. Black people can rock and roll, though. Yeah, you were telling me they open for their stones or something? Stones took them on tour that fucking year. That's how they row. You follow me? How you doing today, Lisa? Oh, shit. What's the matter? You're all fucking mumplia.

People are saying that I give you too many edibles? No. It's because I didn't give them no edible. He's all fucked up today. When I get him banana bread, when I give him all the heavy-duty shit, he sits there like a fucking mook and everything's done. Today he thinks he's cocky, and then I make him smile. I don't want to smoke. I'll fucking stab you.

No, I don't mind smoking. It's fucking eating an edible from death. Listen, you forget I know some real Jews, though. Kidnap you'll be milking fucking camels in Arabia land. You understand me, cock-sucker. With that fucking beard. How's everybody doing today? Beautiful day to be alive.

Get up. Get up, grab a book, stick a finger up your ass, read. do something. You just can't sit there like a fucking momo playing video games all day waiting for somebody knocking your door or to get a fucking scholarship from some technical institute in your neighbor. It ain't gonna fucking happen. They ain't giving out scholarships.

They got too many fucking momos out there. You follow me? What's going on? How's the gym going on? What's been going on? It's going to. The only days I can't go are days that I do this just because I try to go before work. But it's been going, it's been going good. What time you go? I like to go at like five

because I have to leave like 435. because I have to be on the road by six. You do some jumping jacks and everything. You're looking good. Let me see. Let me see the crab. Give me a little crab. What's the crab?

Is this the crab? You go like this. I see those trapezoidios. You're fucking savage. Oh, Jesus. No, I like the bike a lot. My area now I'm in kind of more residential. What I want to do is I want to buy a bike.

Because I actually, when I was a kid, that's one of the things I actually like doing. Great. That's great. It's pretty hard to run this podcast with no fucking arms. You want to ride a bike in this fucking name. That's the one thing. Yeah, you're driving around with fucking...

Listen, dog, let me explain you some teeth. These people here that you see that think they're fucking smart with their BMWs. They're the dumbest, scariest fucking people in the world. Oh, that's crazy. And when they see you with a bike, they tighten up even more. You don't want to ride a bike around these streets. This is dangerous. It opens up good.

You'll have a great time. You got a sun tan. You get a little fucking helmet. It always ends bad. You want to ride your fucking bike, go to the YMCA, right outside. And that fucking... They have the bicycle outside. You put your earphones on.

You're just a cult of personality. You make believe four fucking black guys are chasing you with guitars to show up your ass. And you just pedal. Because the bike is good because it won't put that much. It's not like running. That's, yeah, I like biking. Well, you know, and if you could jump in a pool we talked about. But right now it's just about walking for you getting out there.

You're looking good. Look, let me get a crab. Oh, you're a fucking savage. I'm trying me. You're an Ana Molly. What's been going on? It's Wednesday. I mean, there's not much news.

You know, and what kills me is when there's no news. They try to invent news. Yeah. Like, is Beyonce flashing the Illuminati sign? You know, Alicia Keys, people upset with, if you're upset over Alicia Keys' National Anthem, you need to eat your wife's asshole once a fucking month. Because that's what the problem is.

You focus on the shit that don't matter. Did Beyonce flash the Illuminati sign? If she did it, she didn't. How does that affect you at the fuck? When you're standing online at the fucking supermarket? Here's something that I learned a long time ago. It's got nothing to do with you. If you see something and you're like,

like this morning, some fucking mom-mom up here talking about smoking dope and get it together. He writes back, you know, tell me about the immigration bill and how they're going to build drones. This is your morning. If this is the shit that's on your head at 7 o'clock in the morning, you're fucking doomed for life.

You're doomed, you're doomed. Immigration act? Who gives a fuck? What's it got to do with you? Get out there, fuck your wife, eat some eggs, do some jumping jacks, And you'll do a lot better off than yourself. Read a fucking chapter in Stephen King writing

if you want to learn how to write fucking Christmas cards or something like that or fucking Hanukkah cards or whatever fuck you want to send. But it never seems to amaze me how we're always thinking about shit that's gonna nothing to fucking do with us. Nothing to do with you. It's like I said to you two weeks before holidays.

Don't talk to these fucking people. Because they're not thinking about business. They're thinking about potato salad and fucking fire crackers and where they're going and how they're getting there. It's amazing. Like I always say to you, Deal with what's in front of you.

There's no reason to think about because it can't do nothing for you. It doesn't do shit for you, but stress you. You don't know what I'm saying? You're like, you don't got to get to nothing. Today, today, what's going to happen today and how are we going to make money today? What's the saying on the answering machine on my phone?

If you're not going to make money today, how are we going to make money today? It all goes down today. This all motherfucking starts today. What happened yesterday was yesterday. Today is today. We can't bring yesterday back. You lost 200. You stabbed your wife.

Fuck it. Today's going to be better. The dog will come back. The cat will sing a song. Whatever. I don't fucking know. You know what else? We talk to the Uncle Joey here.

You eight days away from Valentine's. What are you sending them, Rose? We're sending Rose love and happy thoughts. Like I sent a picture yourself fucking finger banging your fucking muffling while you're working out one? Nothing? No. Nobody sends those type of pictures of Valentine.

Everybody who sends like, hi, I love you. Nobody sends a picture with a black yuck up your ass. You know what I'm saying? It was fucking I love you. This is what spells I love you. Unbelievable. Nobody fucking doesn't. I don't think anyone wants that.

Sure. You don't want to send your wife a picture you fucking by the pond fishing for fish? You want to send a picture you bang going out in the fucking wilderness. I'm thinking of you. You dirty cock sucking. They love it. Jesus Christ. Tell Rose today, call Rose telling you, I can't wait to fuck you again.

Watch a little pussy of melt right on the fucking. Well, that's different than sending a fucking picture of myself for Valentine's Day. You want to send Rose to picture yourself banging one out? banging one out, just right there on the couch. You have your little friend take one out with your dick in your hand with a little Yamaga on. You have the yamacca upside down. You're ready to come on it.

Inside the Yamaka cap. Oh, they're going to throw me out of Israel for this. So what? That's a free show. You send her a Yamika with little fucking come staying in there. They'll love it. They've never seen that before. You can't fucking wash that out.

Well, thank God you weren't a kid in this time. You fucking sending people pictures of fucking coming in a yamaka? Something. Anything. You got to send a something. You go to jail now for that. No, Lee, it's Valentine's Day. It's Valentine's Day. That's the one day you don't go to jail.

It's not you're going to send a neighbor picture your underwear with wank on it. But I'm talking about it's fucking Valentine's Day. She's the love of your life, Robes. You send that picture, you whacking off a little finger up your ass to party. She'll love you for that. Nobody sends that shit. Portraits by Lee. Are you kidding me? Lee, how many fucking million-dollar ideas do I have to give you?

I don't think that one's a million-dollar idea. Lee, the Fat Matter-Ler. Fat Man Alert since we're trying to put people on to Cherry's Berries. I got a guy calling in for that. I talk to him. I always get at, listen, a couple years ago, I had a problem. Like in 2009, it started. I moved in with a friend of mine, and he would tell me every morning.

He's like, dog, you snore a lot. You fucking snore really bad. And I'm like, dog, what do you want me to do? I snore blow. It's dry, and he's like, no, no, no, no. You fucking snore really bad. Something's not right. And I'm like, okay, whatever.

And then he would tell me, like, once a week, you really should go to the doctor and tell him that you snor or lie, that you're choking. I didn't know what he was saying. Then I started dating Terry. But one day, Terry told him, and she goes, I would wake up, and she'd be in the kitchen on the floor with pillows around her head with duct tape, wrapped around the pillows.

And I go, what's it matter? And she's like, Joey, you can't sleep here no more. You could hear it in the whole fucking house. And that was for a few months. And then it got to the point where I would go to sleep, and wake up on my feet choking. Jesus. You would wake yourself up choking.

What the fuck! And then I would go to sleep and wake up and stay up. And then it just kept happening. I didn't know what it was. It's just like, what the fuck is this feeling that I'm having? That I go to bed at one

and I get up at fucking 145 and I stamp the rest of the night and this kept going on. Yeah. And on and on. And I'm like, what the fuck is this? And finally, my wife goes, you gotta go see a doctor. It's called Sleep at me.

I went on the computer, and I wouldn't go. And finally, I went in there. A buddy of mine, a good friend of mine, what it really was, was I was in Little Rock, Arkansas. And the club was coming to get me, and I fell asleep on the chair at the hotel, where they come to get you. Okay.

And a doctor was in the fucking thing. And he walked over to me. He goes, I don't know if you know this. You have sleep at me. You're really bad. you're like two weeks from dying. He goes, you can see it on your skin color. Jesus.

You're not getting oxygen. And I'm like, come on. He's like, no, I'm serious. And he wrote down all this shit to read online. And he wrote down what to tell the doctor. He goes, because you're a pat. He looked at my throat. He looked at my eyes.

He goes, you're past. You're not even getting oxygen. He goes, what do you sleep a night? And I go, I don't. He goes, you sleep when you're sitting down. When you're driving and then, oh, it was horribly. I wouldn't fall asleep in bed. I would sleep with you in the car when you drove to lunch.

Yeah. Or if you went to Bray or something with me, I'd fall asleep on you on the steering wheel. You'd have to push me off. I'd fall asleep at the light. I'd fall asleep. What do you really? Bro, one time I fell asleep on a fucking plane

before the plane took off and they woke me up and they threw me off the plane. For snoring? For snoring. It was so loud. It scared the fucking people. Like I was in the middle of the plane. I went,

something like that, something fucking loud and the people were nuts. So I went. down to, I didn't know what it was. You know, at the time, I thought health was like everything else in my life, a fucking joke. So I was like sleep apnea. As long as I don't have to get needles, it'll be fine.

I went down there, and they did a sleep study, and the fucking sleep study, the people in the sleep study were like, what the fuck? You're beyond help. You know, you might have to do the surgery, and I went to this guy. Oh, fuck. At the sleep mask place, and he really spoke to me,

and then I went to, a couple seminars. Then I really got into it. And I knew that weight was an issue, but it wasn't. It's a bunch of fucking things. Are you issues with this? And we're going to straighten them all out today. Because I've seen skinny people with sleep apnea.

You know, Joe Rogan has it. Eddie Bravo has it. And it's a thickness around your neck. Yeah. I see that. You know, I've helped Joe Rogan. I helped Eddie. And I helped the director from the UFC had it.

He didn't even know he had it. He came to me. Anytime somebody. comes to me and said they're not sleeping enough, they're well rested, they always feel angry. Those are fucking prerequisites right there. That's part of the reason why I started, because I haven't

done the whole thing like choking at all, but everyone tells me I snore. And it's just one of the things that happens when you're overweight is that it's one of the things you run into. So, I mean, that's, I don't want to get to the point where I'm waking up or anything like that. Plus, I don't know, with people here, I don't want

to have, like, have like, a wife or a girlfriend, like, sleeping in the kitchen or whatever. So that's part of the reason. So I'm really interested to hear this guy talk. No, I sleep with the machine. I sleep with the machine. I put oxygen.

I take oxygen drops. I do so many things completely different than what I used to do. You have to do a sleep study, which they suck. Yeah, I heard you don't sleep at all with them. I don't sleep at all. You know, it's a night or not sleeping. They fuck with you. You know, they turn the machine down.

You're grasping for air. And it's really weird. Like when I did the sleep study, I was at the point where my body would sleep anyway. It just needed help. now my psychological, I can't fucking sleep. Like in Columbus Saturday night, I fucking couldn't sleep. Oh yeah, you're horrible.

Horrible. Horrible. Horrible at night. Horrible. Now, you would prefer to have the machine than do a surgery? Because to me, the machine seems like it would ruin fucking sleeping. Listen, anytime I could avoid going into a fucking hospitaly, anything's better than that. Okay. The machine is not that bad.

Can you sleep on your stomach with it? I sleep on everything. My stomach, my sides. Because I, for some reason. My shoulders are really big, so I can't sleep on my fucking stomach no more. Okay. I can sleep like to sleep like this. Yeah, if I have to, yeah.

You sleep on your stomach? I don't like sleep on my back. I never fall asleep like it for some reason. I can fall asleep on my side. All that shit, but, you know, it's not even the sleep apnea that hurt you. It's all the other things that it fucks with. It fucks it your blood pressure. It fucks it your circulation.

You know, they're saying, now that if you have sleep apnea, you have higher chances of getting cancer because the oxygen can't go to those spots. So this is, you know, fat man alert. Fat man alert. This is not about being fat and it like that. That's a joke. It's just about being healthy, guys. Sometimes, you know, we go on a bunch of directions with this podcast,

but I got to tell you something, guys, and I'm going to be as honest I can with you. I don't give a fuck about nothing. And Leo tested to that. The last five years, I've really been into my health. And one reason is because I met my uncle. That was the reason? I hooked up with my uncle again.

And when I hooked up with my uncle, he was 72 years old. And I couldn't believe he was in the shape he was in. And he told me about my uncles and my aunts and how they were all alive and they all have a great time in Cuba. And the reason being, because they take care of themselves. In this life, there's two ways, you know, you have to be a better friend to yourself. There's little things we have to do to take care of ourselves, whether it's drinking water.

You know, I fucking hate water. I was just thinking when I first went to Weight Watchers and I had to switch from soda to diet soda and water. I lost 18 pounds in two weeks. just with the sodas just with the fucking sodas guys I was addicted to Coca-Cola in a can and I would drink two a pop

so if I sit down three times it's a six-pack right there what about when I go to the comedy club and I don't drink alcohol and I drink another fucking 19 fucking sodas just on sodas alone I was doing 90 fucking points a day each can of Coke is six you only get 40

fucking points so five cans six seven cans I'm good for the fucking debt and when people give you shit like sometimes I see in like even with Dolce they say, oh, you shouldn't know soda and you should do all this keen one stuff. If you didn't hear, listen to the last podcast and you talked about what you were eating before this.

So to go from that, yeah, that's why people don't fucking know. People don't know. That's why everybody's made different. And every diet is different. And it's not really called a diet. It's a lifestyle change. You know, it's a lifestyle change.

You know, like I've told you before, we've discussed before, we're two heavy guys. I love to, you ever live your life on a diet? It sucks, yeah. sucks, but a lifestyle change doesn't suck. What's a lifestyle change? Instead of three eggs, a box of cereal,

listen, I know one thing. I know that I used to eat a fucking 12 inch, you know, whatever, a foot long, whatever the fuck, a bag of chips, a side dish, and three sodas. I know that I could make my lunch on a six inch no chips and a

soda. I know this for a fact. I know that that's all your body needs. That's a lifestyle change. A lifestyle Changes, when I go home now, me and my wife are going to take a walk this morning for 30 minutes. That's a lifestyle change. Lifestyle change is, instead of

staying up to one to watch that fucking stamenke, you know, let them in or whatever, don't change your fucking life at all. I'm not putting them down. I'm just saying this to you guys. Go to bed at 10. Those two extra hours at the end of the week. You feel fucking better. You know,

last night I wanted to stay up and watch something. My wife went to bed with the baby at We're going to call come in. Good morning. Joe, it's Andy. How are you, Dr. Wachtow? I'm good. We were just talking about sleep apnea

and the friends that I've had that I turned on to sleep apnea and told them to get sleep studies. And I'm happy that you called and explained to some of these people what sleep apnea is from the beginning. Okay. I'm waiting on you, Doc. You want me to start talking?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. So sleep apnea occurs. when there's a blockage somewhere between the mouth or the nose and the vocal cords. And what happens when we go into the deepest stages of sleep is the muscles that keep the throat open and relax. And so when you actually fall into the deepest stages of sleep, they actually close up. Now, when they get narrow, you hear a loud snoring, but when you actually fall asleep, they close up and you stop breathing. So your chest will keep moving, but no air will be going,

and it will be very quiet. The brain, in its infinite wisdom, would rather breathe than sleep so it will always wake the patient with the apnea up now maybe they won't wake you up to be conscious sometimes you wake up and you're gasping for breath but most of the time you wake up to a lighter stage of sleep and you don't even know you're awake and then you start breathing again but every time you get into the deepest stages of sleep you stop breathing and you keep waking up so because of that patients will sleep at me I feel like they sleep all the time but yet they're never refreshed and they're always falling asleep easily during the day now sometimes when you wake up because of the closure of the throat you can kind of wake up gas and then kind of wake up gas

but that's a little bit less usual. Bed partners will frequently say that their partner will be having a nice rhythmic snoring and then there'll be a very long pause where there's no noise and then a loud snort and that loud snort is where they start breathing again. So frequently the bed partner can give you more information than the actual person with the sleep apnea. Now we typically think of sleep apnea as occurring in overweight people and the more overweight you are, the higher the incidence of the sleep apnea but it does also occur in thin people and in children. In children, it's often related to large tonsils and adenoids, and in thin people it can be related to just their intrinsic anatomy.

So if you think about Jay Leno with his large protuberant chin, if you have the exact opposite of that where the chin is kind of recessed, what we call retronathia, that pushes the tongue and the structures in the throat all the way back and makes a much smaller opening in the throat, and can closely battene even in thin people. So we do see a very strong family preponderance of sleep apnea. Now, doctor, when I first got it, it started off with snoring, and then it got worse to snoring, and then it got to the point where I was choking, and then I was waking up grasping for air. Correct.

Is that the evolution of it? That's what happened? Everybody's a little bit different, but it would be very unusual to have sleep apnea if you didn't snore. So most people do have snoring, although a lot of people that snore don't actually have sleep baton. So it's very important that if you're going to have something done about snoring, that you make sure that you have a sleep study first because the treatment for snoring, specifically with surgical treatments for snoring, are very effective, 80% effective, but they're only about 20% effective for sleep apnea. So it would be important to know if there's sleep apnea before you do anything. And the treatments for sleep apnea are 100% effective for snoring. So, you know, a lot of times it's the bed partner that brings the patient to the attention of the doctor.

Dr. Wachtell, like a lot of Americans of myself, I was scared to come see you. I was scared about the sleep study. Can you explain to people what happens during the sleep study that's completely painless? Yeah, during the sleep study patients come to the lab. Usually, you know, it's certainly in our lab. It's a very quiet, private bedroom, private bath. We have closed-circuit TV so you can watch television, a little snack. come, a room is made to be conducive to sleep with very quiet and you have some monitors

on your head so we can monitor your brain waves so we actually know when you're asleep. We have an oxygen meter and we measure the flow of air at the mouth. The patients are very comfortable and they can sleep on their back or their sides or their stomach. They need to get up and go to the restroom. It's not a problem. We have capabilities for significant others to spend the night. you know, family member or a spouse or mother or father for children.

So it's actually a very comfortable experience. And now we even have screening sleep studies that can actually be done in the home where we have little kits where the patients take them to their house and they can actually sleep in their own bed as kind of a screening test. And one of the three, when I was diagnosed with 10 years ago, we've been together that long doctor, there was three options. It was like a mouthpiece, the CPAP machine, or the surgery. and each one is different?

Right. So depending on the degree of sleep apnea, how many episodes per hour people stop breathing, the positions that that occurs in, we can recommend the most common recommendation would be for the CPAP machine, which is kind of a mask that you wear over your nose or your mouth, it provides continuous pressure to the throat

so that when you go to sleep, the pressure acts like a hydraulic splint in your airway, so it keeps your throat open and you don't snore. over the 10 years, Joe, as you know, the masks have become much more comfortable. Patients actually like them much more now, and they're very comfortable with the masks. The bed partners like them because the snoring is gone. That's kind of the primary treatment. Secondary treatment would be for people of milder sleep apnea,

it would be a dental device that would actually kind of like what you see football players wearing, but would actually, it pulls the lower jaw forward and makes a larger space in the back of the throat. The least effects of treatment would be surgery. The surgeries are very extensive and tend to be not very effective, as I said, only about 20 to 30 percent effective. And then for people with milder sleep bat, and we have a bit of a newer device, these little patches, that go over the nose every night,

that have a little valve in the middle that actually act as a splint. This is what they call Provent, that we've been using quite a bit in our patients with milder sleep apnea. Now, this isn't the stuff they saw at the pharmacy. stress this doctor because I know I have friends that to avoid going to see you, they have gone to CVS and tried to

pick up everything they can at CVS to avoid the Right, no, the things you see at the supermarket, those little strips of tape that go over the nose that you also see the athletes wearing. Those are not effective for sleep apnea. Okay. They may help the snoring, but they're not effective

for sleep apnea. Now, after you have the machine, doctor, is there anything we could do as patients to improve our numbers or right so the newer machines have a computer chip a secure digital card in them that records what happens while you're sleeping and typically we would start you on the machine in the in our sleep center and then we would have you come back in two weeks to meet with our to bring the machine back to meet with our mask specialist and he can look at the data from the machine to see how you're doing if there's

a leak and how many hours a night you're using it and the pressure is effective and he can fit with the masks better what I like to say is where the rubber hits the road is where the mask gets the face. Everybody wants the latest, greatest machine, but the real determining factor about the sleep apnea is where the mask in the face come together. And as I said, our sleep technologists are excellent with getting the masks to be much more comfortable. You know, doctor, I've looked at pictures of myself from 10 years ago, and it's amazing. I had bags under my eyes. I, you know, my neck was huge. I mean, it's just, and I've worked on the weight and stuff, and I'm sure I can't fall asleep now in the sleep studies, doctor. I'm having a hard time,

But is there anything else we can do to help it after we're treating it? Well, certainly for those people that are overweight, weight loss may totally reverse the problem. The ultimate solution in overweight patients would be to have significant weight loss. And it doesn't actually have to be a huge amount of weight to make a big difference with the sleep. Everybody's different. You know, I lost 100 pounds, doctors, since our first meeting. And now I still need the mask, but I'll tell you I can fall asleep on a plane now. I can fall asleep.

on the couch, you know, if I'm breathing with my feet up or something. So it has made a big difference. I wish I didn't have to wear the mask, but I'm addicted to it at this point. Yeah, I enjoy sleeping with it. Yeah, I feel. And like I said, I could fall asleep without the mask if I really had to. You know, some of the tricks I would go in a hotel room and turn the shower on, on hot, and just sleep with a pillow.

That's what I would do before I discovered the machine. But now I could do it naturally. but I still feel confident. I want to get the full night's sleep. I'm addicted to it. And I also have the machine where it tells you how many hours you slept. Correct.

It has a chip in it. Yeah. The gentleman even told me if I drink alcohol, like you get dry, he goes, they can even tell you by the dehydration or something. So these new machines, Doctor, the reason why I had your calls, I'm sure other listeners, we have a lot.

And I get emails twice a week on it. Doctor, it's amazing how many emails. else I get, hey, I'm having a hard time breathing. Do I have sleep at you? For love of Christ, go to your doctor, you know, but I'm happy to, you know, I talk about it enough that people are, is there a web page or anything they can go to the doctor? Well, we have, our sleep center is called the Tower Sleep Medicine. Okay. And it would be TowerSleepmedicin.com.

Or they can just, they can, you know, give our office a call to sleep medicine office at 310-657-37-37-9-2. And that's in the L.A. area. That's right in West Hollywood over by the Cedersona Medical Center. And we'd be happy to help out any of the listeners we can. Thank you. You know, Doctor, it's like anything else. A lot of people in America hear about things, but they're scared to ask,

or they don't know who to ask or where to start. And when I thought of this, I thought of you, and I'm very happy that you called this morning. I know you're a busy guy, Doc, and I will make an appointment to come see you in the next two weeks, all right, buddy. Oh, it's my pleasure, Joe. Thank you, Dr. Wachtell. Have a great day.

All right, bye. There you go, guys. There you go, guys. I mean, you know, we do a lot of things here about fucking around. Look, if I got an email or a tweet one day that one of you guys, something happened to you guys, you know what? It would break my fucking heart. It would break my fucking heart. If you know anything about me, please, if you got one of these things, you sleep apnea, whatever the fuck you got, just go get it checked out.

Your mother's got insurance. Somebody you know has got insurance. I know you got insurance. I know you got $35. You smoke weed, you fucking got your iPhone, you got Twitter. I know you got $35. Go down there. I was going to ask, but I was going to try to avoid the Jew joke.

But for people, I know for me, and a lot of people out there, money is an issue. Is this covered by most insurance? Do you think? Absolutely. Absolutely. Because it's the number one growing disease in men, guys. Is it really? It's the number one growing disease in men.

And the thing I was thinking about, because if I had a choice, I would do the surgery just because I don't want to have a mask, but it sounds weird, but when I was thinking about it, and I've heard about people dying from it, I'm like, do I really want to and what you just said, if something happens to someone, do you really want to die from something that's under your control? So fucking fast. It's not like cancer

where it could just happen. The one thing I want to do when I call him is since I work nights, I want to see if I can go during the day and just sleep during the day, but I think I'm going to call them because I don't want to have something happen. You have a shit or something? Yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah. I mean, gentlemen and ladies

I know a lot of women who have it I've gotten emails from women a soldier hit me from Germany like a female soldier that she was embarrassed at some of the girls in the barracks or whatever

people get it man and it's not like getting AIDS or chlamydia or getting something from eating a crack hole this is you know it's fucking and it fucks with you

listen man it's fucking sleep happy you fucks with you in so many ways because guess what you're not sleeping you realize the importance of sleep. One thing I never respected,

that's why I goof with you all the time. In the Columbia funny bone, there was a kid, the Columbus Funny Bone, he was 22. Okay. And he was telling me and the head chef how he wanted to go home and sleep. And the head chef is like, you're 22. You know, and I goof around.

When I was that age, I didn't fucking sleep. You know, right now I'm writing. Yeah. I'm writing for this book for Omar. And it's so weird. I'm up to this chapter that I never talked about my life. It was like five months of my life that I was a fucking no man.

That even hurts me to think about it. Because I fucked everybody over. Like I just wanted a five-month fucking upspring. It wasn't anybody. It was my family. It was where I just destroyed my... You know, everybody in this... Listen to the podcast is one point in your life where you just went nuts for six months.

Okay. You crash your grandmother's car. You got a DUI in your father's car. You got caught using this credit card. You went through the garage door. You got fired. Everybody goes into one of those rough patches. For me, it was 84.

From August of 84 to like the first week of January, 84, Lee. I lived like a fucking nomad. And I took down, you know, people that I loved. And people that loved me. That had a lot of faith in me. It was writing about it now. It fucking hurts to write. But it's amazing that...

What are we talking about Lee? I'm fucking stoned. You were talking about the... You're writing about the time of your life where you were crazy, but it was... how fucking hard it is and how painful it is, you know. And one of the things in that I'm writing about is just chick that I used to, my mother was friends with,

and they used to always give me money and stuff when I was in a bind. I stopped talking to it one day. I got so busy with the fucking drugs. I just stopped talking to it one day. And I called her back like four months later, and she goes, I've been sitting here waiting on you with a broken leg. And I was heartbroken because she was always there for me. But she fell on the stairs, and I wasn't there for, I don't even know how I got on this.

But what I'm trying to, the point I'm trying to, The point I'm trying to make you, is do me a favor. If somebody tells you you snore, you got a hard time fucking snoring or sleeping, go get a checkdown. You might not have it. Because you might not have it. But it affects so many other things in your life.

It just affects so many other things. It affects your mood. It affects your temper. It affects your ability to work. It affects your ability to focus. So this is why I touched on it. You know, the year that Reggie White died, the sleep apnea,

main webpage got 25,000 hits that whole year. The day after Reggie White died, he got 25,000 hits. So do you follow me? Yeah. People don't know about sleep apnea. And it might be simple that I got this doctor to call. The reason why I got it to call is because I got emails about it. I guess Joe goes on his podcast and talks about how he had sleep at me.

And I told him about it on a plane and shit like that. He told Gigliardi and Eddie Bravo. So a lot of people hit me to fuck out. So that's why I got this doctor the call Just to fucking simplify things Lee what music you got for me It's fucking Wednesday You're sitting at like a bump along

Give me a little fucking Black Sabbath or something I'm gonna give some shoutouts To some bad motherfuckers Friends of the podcast Irish I love you you cock sucker Hit it Oh shit A little fucking snow blind

Even if you're not doing blow You gotta get Ozzy to remind you What's out there Lee what's going on in your room You want to get in there and dance with a little bit You wanted an answer? Sure, I'll get a couple of bucks. Hit it, Lee.

What? Oh, shit, Lee. Things that don't come easily. Smoking weed with Lili. Oh, shit, Lee. You're rocking for this Lee or what? Oh, yeah. You get a wiggle for me, Uncle Joey Lee.

You don't wiggle no more than a fucking Wednesday. You're not wiggles for your uncle, Joey. I don't always wiggle. Oh, shit. It's a bad out. Fucking, uh, snow. is all volume four. If you got any fucking problems, get it, put on wheels of confusion, and go right to fucking snow blind or rock your world. This is my favorite right here, Lee.

Get up and salute the fucking flag of his bill. Look at you. You don't salute the flag at you like that. You throw dollar bills at it, you know what I'm saying? You just sit there like this, Lee. Just throw a bunch of dollar bills at the flag. That's how you salute the Israeli flag. You know what I'm saying? Hit it, Lee. Cock sucker, you wiggle with Uncle Joey. Wake up, you're maggots. There you go, Lee. eyes are blind, but I can see. You're probably? You with me, Lee, or what are you saying? I'm with you.

The snowflakes glisten on the trees. Tremendous. Tremendous. I don't want to shoot this video with you now. Tremendous. Joey Diaz. The sun no longer lets me

free. Oh shit. I feel the snowflakes treating me. What are you fucking nuts? You know how many lines of blow I did to this fucking jam in a cemetery, walking around backwards? Hit it Lee! All right, let's give our shot, out sleep.

To my main man, Irish, Chris Tainer, Matt Joyner, NOL, not Joey Diaz. Did you see that guy? There's a guy online that's saying he's not Joey Diaz. Really? No, I didn't see that. Stoic. Matt Shave. Dan Freeman. Connor Hew and I love you, Cocksucker.

Get well, you got your hips. You're throwing sidekicks for Jesus. Zufa lifted the rock. Mike Lupo. Sam Puentes and my man, John Fetter, we ain't fucking around today, maybe. Fat Man Alert, motherfucker. Hit it, Lee.

Turn that fucking thing off, Lee. What's the story? So, you forgot to come over and get your arm that stuff, Lee. See, you're slipping. You didn't tell me about that. Lee, I told you the other day during the workout to come over and get your on and stuff if you're going to go because I want you to try it so you can tell the people

how you're feeling with the strong bone. Okay, yeah. So this week just do the bicycle, and the next week do the bicycle and walk. And you're going to, your little fucking fat bones in your feet. They fucking hurt. Oh, yeah. When you're a fat dude, those little fat bones fucking hurt.

So you do the strong bone from on it. You do a little new mood at night. You can sleep and you come home at 6. Okay. You got to smoke some weed with the new mood lead. You're slipping. It's like breast milk. If you ain't going to smoke weed, don't touch the fucking breast milk.

The baby's good. The baby's a month old yesterday. Fucking amazing. Yeah, that's amazing. We fucked around all day yesterday with the wife and the baby. We went here, took them to acupuncture. Today we got to go to the doctor. I got to get my head done.

I gotta go to doctorate two for my fucking ear. Now, are she allowed to be out in public? I don't give her a fuck. You know what I'm saying? What am I going to do? I'm going to leave her at home? Like, she's, you know, no. I got to take the baby out because she's got to see some daylight.

She ain't no fucking twilighter. Okay, no, I thought you couldn't take babies out. I said 40 days. I've had that baby out since the second day, bro. Restaurants, the whole thing. The whole thing. I don't fuck it right. How does she do in restaurants?

Tremendous. Really? Because on the car ride, she passes the fuck out. I blow a shotgun in her face. And then by the time we get the... to the restaurant, she's good to go. She just sits there and looks around and says, what the fuck, no steak for me.

Nothing. No, she's great at restaurants. She's very good. I'm very fortunate. And my wife is very happy, but I'm going to bring you the Yonet, just so you can try. Just so you can talk. Just so you can see what you think. I know what I think about it. I had a protein shake this morning. I'm not farting. I'm used to it now. The chocolate's fucking, let me taste that's a protein shake that sometimes I get home and I'm like,

oh, should I make a sandwich or should I make a fucking protein shake? And the protein shake wins. It's like going to Carvel when I was. A lot of people from the East Coast. These motherfuckers don't know about Carvel and shit. A little chocolate vanilla shake. Fuck, a white and black shake. Black and white. Oh.

You like Carvel? I didn't have a Carvel by me, but we had a little mini one, and it's a black and white. That's my favorite. It's not chocolate ice cream. It's vanilla ice cream of chocolate. Oh. These motherfuckers don't know. A couple joints in a Carvel and Moogh shake.

You get yourself one of those baseball hats with the Carvel Sundays. When I was a kid, Tom Carvel, would make commercials. like a Super 8 can. Hello. This is Tom Carve out. Oh, okay. And he'd make the fucking shit. One time I ate a whole cake just smoke a wreath of scratching my fucking ball. Did you have friendlies by you in Jersey? Yeah, but I don't go to those fucking disgusting things.

Oh, when I was a kid. They don't have soft serve. They don't? No, I don't think so. I don't like fucking not soft served shit. When I was a kid, I wanted soft serve ice cream. Okay. I don't ask for much. What the fuck? When you were a kid, you want to, when I would go into a store, I have that hard shit at the fucking house. I had briars at the house with the chocolate fucking dots in it. You know, a little vanilla ice cream with those little black dots in. Chocolate chip? No, no, not chocolate chip. Vanilla ice cream.

The pure vanilla, the vanilla, vanilla bean always has little pieces of it. Oh, okay. Ooh, a little brys ice cream, a can of Coca-Cola, you mix that motherfucker up, stop it. Jesus Christ. It's a wonder you don't have diabetes. But speaking of, on it, you put on Facebook something yesterday. I want to actually, was interesting. Yeah.

They got this new testosterone, and I forgot to bring the link. I'll put it up on Twitter lately I'll put it up on, they have a new testosterone, I forgot, I read about it last night, but I'm a little fucked up right now, that's all right. We'll put it up for Monday because no, it's Friday when they're going to start whatever, so maybe I should fucking...

I'll look for it. It's probably right on your page still. Yeah, it's on my page, it's on the Facebook page. It's a testosterone beta to lift your levels up through, and if you register and I think you get a free sample. So go on there and register on. It's been really good. And I'll tell you, I'm I'm very happy with Arbery.

I'm very happy with the whole organization from Mr. Rios. I mean, they're involved. That's more than I could ask. I respond to that. Other people respond to me. They haven't been this involved. Honest involved. There's something else for you bad motherfucking stoners out there who I love to death.

You ready for this one? This today, next Monday and Wednesday because Valentine's Day and next Thursday. But listen, you don't even need for it to be Valentine's Day. You ever just wake up in the middle of night? Like, you ever get home at like 11 o'clock at nightly? What are you doing? You ever get home at 11 o'clock at nightly and you're in the mood for something to eat?

And you ain't got dick. And Lorna On is on. There's usually something on TNT. The ultimate fight is on fucking fuel. Something's on. Something. And you got nothing. You don't want a sandwich.

Guess what? Right now, today. Today until the 14th, I think. Sherry's berries is having a sale. For 1995 and up, you'd get fucking chocolate-covered strawberries. Let me explain something to you motherfuckers here. because this is how I roll. I was going to bring a box today over here to work,

but they didn't send it out to me. But this is what I'm going to do for you, motherfuckers. All right, Ted Cross, I love you, too, cocksucker. Snowblind, master, I love you. Damon, it's Bob Molly's birthday. How many fucking times are you going to tell me, cock sucker? All right? You want dreadlocks?

Don't wash your fucking ball hairs. Here you go. Today, you go over the fucking 866 Fruit Zero-2. You dial 866 Fruit 0-2. Or even better, fuck all that. You go to berries.com. I'm going to spell out berries for you because a lot of dumb motherfuckers out there.

Berry. B-E-R-I-E-S. Berries.com. You click on the microphone on top happening, okay? This is what hell is he going to do this, all right? The offer ends fucking next Wednesday before Valentine's Day. These are the best.

When I was a kid, I used to go to Krausers up on Fairview Boulevard there on Fridays. There'd be cars from here to fucking shit Tangola. From people getting chocolate-covered strawberries. They were just chocolate, dark chocolate. These motherfuckers got the white chocolate They got the light chocolate They got chocolate With fucking peanuts

They got chocolate Oh guys listen You get stoned Everybody wants the chocolate covered strawberries I'm asking you for 1999 that's 40% savings If you order today You go to the microphone up on top

And you press Happling Let me tell you how to spell happily Because I even know how to do that one too H-A-P-E-N-G Happily All right Go to fucking top box 1995

You get some beautiful chocolate covered strawberries that dipped in white chocolate, that dipped in milk chocolate, that dipped in dark chocolate. Lee, forget about it. You come home and seven in the morning, you're getting hot.

The news is on, you want to bang one out. How good with a fucking chocolate covered strawberry be? Oh, I love those. I like chocolate and nuts and sell the strawberry under it. Oh, and you like nuts, too?

You filthy out. Look at you. I like strawberry nuts. What's the matter with you? What's the matter? No, I like chocolate and nuts. Fucking... What's a mess?

Yeah, that means you like an ass on a little penis, huh? What would you do with this black? That's what we're going to do. We're going to get the black chick to put little crunch peanuts in the ass. And when she farts, that's the strap, where you get chocolate-covered peanuts in your fucking face. Who's better than you, Lee.

Those are the kind of chocolate I want. Lee, get it together. Go to berries.com, B-E-R-R-I-E-S dot com. Put happening in the box. Get a nice order chocolate-covered strawberries for your girlfriend. Have it there. Buy Valentine's Day. You'll look like a hero, and guess what?

Guess who gets his dick sucked on Valentine's Day? You do because you got a fucking cherries berries. how I roll here. I don't fuck around people. I ain't got time for fucking fun at. Lee Syatt, what do you got playing this weekend? Talk to the Uncle Joey. This weekend, I got nothing, man. Lee, you got to fucking do something.

You got to start doing something. This is what I'm talking about. You sit here. I work. Last week, you were sitting here. Sorry, so I was trying to find... For people who want to go, on Joey's page, I'm trying to find the link because when link pops up, it doesn't open correctly. But if you go to Joey's page

and, like, halfway down... Facebook. On Facebook, yeah, it's just the, on it, T's limited launch, and you can sign up to get some notifications for it. But, yeah, I mean, I've just been working so much. And I do stuff on the weekends. I have fun on the weekends, but it's one of the things I'm jealous about you. I don't have anything planned or anything.

It's just a, it's fun. I don't have nothing planned. Well, you got gigs. You're going up to San Jose. I go to San Jose. From there, I'm going to West Palm Beach. But I've got to go to Dr. Ted's this fucking year, oh, it's open. I don't go anywhere.

You drive me to San Jose. and Joe Rogan's going to have to get me in helicopter. I know I can't even fucking fly. Oh, you can't fly with it? I don't know. I don't fucking know. They told me Monday it could I go down? And it hasn't opened yet.

It looks like a, it looks like fucking BJ Penn punched me to eat 50 fucking times. Jesus. And I'm putting drops in there. They gave me an antibiotic. I got to eat fucking yogurt. Yeah. But, no, it hurts brutally. I mean, it fucking hurts a lot.

That's awful. I don't know. I don't know what I'm going to do. What am I going to do? People keep fucking texting me. What are you people calling me for? It's fucking. Wednesday, get your shit together.

I got nothing planned. I'm going to West Palm Beach and then I'm here for the month. I'm trying to put together a testicle testaments. I'm trying to write. You know, like I said, I read that Stephen King book and it always says that when you want to write something to write, what gives you pain and write, something that bothers you to write. And that whole thing

I was talking about, wow Leah, it's amazing when you walk around with something in your mind. But then it's really amazing when you put a thought down on paper, how it looks on paper. When I read the shit, I did that winter. It fucking, so I'm gonna,

my next testicle testament I'm gonna do is about that winter. So you had a crazy two years because you did a testicle testament already that we haven't released, but it's the summer of 83. Well, that's, it ties into that. So that's what I'm saying.

So you had the craziest summer of your life and that blended in. Well, the funniest thing is, I've been talking to Stacy on the phone lately, Corini. Okay. The chick I robbed December 18th, 1983.

She's a yoga instructor, and I'm going to have a call into the show. either next week or the week after. I'm also going to have Rock or a B.C. call the show next week. The director did a Jojo Dancer, Where's Your Life? Yeah. But I'm going to have her call in and talk about, you know, how she, for years, for 30 years, she didn't know who robbed the house.

But she always had an idea. It was me and this other fucking guy. I think he robbed the first and I robbed the second. But it's really weird because there's a point in our lives where we sabotage our own life. Not you, Lee. You're a smart kid, you know, but there's a... a lot of people out there to sabotage themselves. Well, I think the food I eat is part of,

I was me sabotaging a little bit, but I didn't mean to interrupt. Go ahead. No, no, no. You do good. I'm talking about sabotage yourself in life. Just when everything is going good, you don't show up to work, because we're scared of success. We're scared of something, you know, when you were young age.

And one day you overcome that hurdle. What was I talking about? Then you sabotage yourself. Yeah, you sabotage yourself, and you don't know what the fuck's going on. It's so weird once you break out of that. You know, for years, I sabotage yourself. myself. Every time I caught a fucking break, I would, you know, do something

fucking stupid or something like that. And I don't even know what point we're trying to make it. Well, up until five years ago, or was it... Oh, 83. I was so fucking happy in Colorado. I was robbing people. I was snorting coke. I was going to school. You know, I had a day job as an electrician.

You know, I had a day job as a residential electrician. I was taking courses at Colorado Mountain College. I was getting my dick sucked once a month. I really wasn't into that. I had a girl that I slept with upstairs once a month, that whatever. She was a drunk and I was a Coke fiend. You know, nobody doing about my Coke problem.

And I had it great. But one day I woke up and I go, no, no, no, no. My life is too good. Let me complicate this. And let me move back to fucking North Bergen, New Jersey. And the reason why I went to North Bergen, New Jersey, is for the reason that anybody does what the fuck is something stupid. Pussy.

Once you grow pussy involved in something, it fucks everything up. Yeah. Because what the pussy is and what, we see is two different fucking things. Okay, it's just a piece of pussy or a girl that wants to date you. We see a child and a kid. I wasn't looking at a piece of pussy. I was looking at this girl was going to

salvate me. She was going to save me. She was going to get me into a house and stop me from doing dumb shit. And we all know you've got to fucking save yourself. So I went on this tear. I mean, I went to this tear. I went to Miami and insulted my fucking family down there. I made a jerk out of my godfather.

Me, to this day, the guy who baptized me and church wants to shoot me. He lives the keys in Miami. He doesn't want any contact with me at all but to shoot me. I just had a friend of mine look into him about a year ago and ask him. He don't even want me to call. He's that furious at me. But fuck him.

He slipped with me too, so fuck him. You know, I fucked over this lady who took good care of me for years. You know, it's funny, I was telling you last week that people always write in. Once a month,

I always get some fucking comedian that says, hey man, you made up your fucking past. Nobody can make up being a loser. I can see if I make up going to Mars or being a Marine. shooting 25 japs or something like that, but that's not it. I talk about stories about being a loser, so if you don't want to believe this shit,

I don't know what the fuck to tell you. Lily, you don't even look stoned today. What are you talking about? That's it, Lee. Edibles from now on, because I can't have it. Every time I come here, you're slipping, you spilled the water the other day. I spilled the water. It's over by you fucking every day.

The cherry tree podcast. I love it. I love that we're on fucking line with people. You know, it's six in the morning here. We're talking to people. We're reading our own fucking universe. Yeah. And, you know, like I said, yeah, I love you motherfuckers early in the morning.

If I had to do a podcast in the afternoon for you guys, I'll do it. But I'd rather do something in the mornings and get to you guys early. So you get out there and it's a beautiful fucking day to be alive. Lee, what music you got for your uncle Joey? Play me something, Lee. You know, it's Bob Molly's birthday. You don't want to roll no refa. You don't want to do fucking good.

You like Bob Molly Lee? I don't, I mean, he's not one of my favorite. I mean, I like his music, but it's not. one of the ones that I talk I would ever sit down and listen to him so you rather not smoke a dream with young but join listen to this fucking poor black guy dread life no I'd love to but you rather go to some cons to see a bunch of Spanish people what's the what's the band with the fucking chopstick infected mushroom in Israelis infected mushroom Israelis look at you yeah there we go hit it

no warm up no cry oh shit it's Wednesday cock suckers it's a beautiful day to be a Get out there. Get out there. Hit the floor with both hands. They'll wait for you. They're waiting for you. Go to school. Sign up for a karate class. Who's up? Who gives a fuck? You can smoke a joint and go to karate. Italy. Don't woman, don't cry. Ah, I. Yeah.

What, Lee? It's a beautiful day. Yeah. Listen to this shit. You don't like my buddy. That's your homework assignment. Lee, you're slipping. You go see these fucking Jews with yarmulkas jumping up and down. We don't want to see this. fucking poor black guy with dreadlocks, dropping

knowledge, believing in a jar and shit. Huh? Believe me. No, and people are going to hate on me. I mean, it's not that just what I hate on you. No, I'm sure. I got to get your priority set. All right. This is the backbone of your organization. This is Bob Marlowe.

He stopped taking showers for you. You follow me? He fucking dreadlocks. He stopped taking showers for fucking Lee. And this is how you treat them. I'm sorry, Bob. Good friends, we lost. Along the way. So what else?

That's all you got for your uncle Joey this week. I'm going to go home. I'm going to write. I got to go to the kids all weekend. I got to go to fucking West Palm Beach. Tomorrow night, San Jose, you know, San Jose is always crazy. Oh, this is a crazy fucking tomorrow night. Tweety's cousins will be there.

You know, I've been trying to get Tweety on the phone. Tweety is the guy that I talked on the Joe Rogan podcast about that picture of the plane, but the guy was throwing the bundles of coke off the plane. Did you ever get that podcast? Yeah. And then two days later, his cousins showed up to one of the shows. and San Jose at the Burbank flappers.

So he connected me with Tweety. He was like a cousin of mine. I was going to have Tweety on the podcast one day last week, but he's Thornton Perot from throwing the bales of Coke out the fucking plane, so he really can't call and talk about it. So I'm sorry about that. But his cousins will be up there. Jamie Acosta will be up there.

San Jose is one of those places. The number one place for these podcasts, for Joe's mine is the Bay Area. San Jose, San Francisco, Sacramento. People go fucking nuts up there. People go fucking nuts up there. So I'm going to Sacramento, March 20, 23rd. And I guess I'll be at San Jose tomorrow, bitches. Thursday night. I'm not bringing t-shirts. Go to Joey c-codeas.net.

The new webpage should be up. The new t-shirts are ready. We got hoodies. Oh shit, really? We got fucking, I don't know if it's up today, but it should be up by next week. We got fucking church of what's happening now hoodie, a long-sleevee. commemorable t-shirt and a regular short t-shirt that's going to go up. I don't think he's got the new one up yet. They're waiting for me to send a fucking blog, and I can't write a blog.

It's been very hard to write. You know, I'm trying to write this one thing. You haven't put out a blog in a while? It's fucking since August. Since August, and I had something to write about. I went to eat with these people a couple weeks ago, and the fucking kid at the end didn't say thank you. And it always dawned on me how...

That's the first thing my mother taught me as a fucking kid is to say thank you to people. How important is to say thank you to people. And some people say thank you. You know, they're just saying thank you. My mother taught me to say thank you to people, so they felt like they did something for you? I had an issue with a girlfriend once,

and some girls have gotten mad at me, but the way I was brought up, I don't like girls paying for stuff. Like every once in a while, once you're dating for a while. But for the first while, I don't let girls pay for anything. So you're a sucker. I'm a nice guy. I know I'll let them pay for something, but like for dinners and stuff.

You want to pay for condoms? No, I'll buy condoms. Who said I wear condoms? But anyways. You fuck straight. You filthy animals. Sometimes. You like meat to meet.

Not when you say like that sounds gross. But anyways, what I was going to say was, I had a girlfriend once, and for the first, like, two months we did it, we went out and we would go out like every weekend or more than that. And she, like, never once to thank you. And, like, I never thought about it before. but after going out like seven or eight times and never said it, it started eating at me. So I know what you're saying. When people don't say thank you,

it's the weirdest fucking thing. I never understood how, and I've noticed it about him a couple times, and this one day I really noticed him because it was a bunch of us. It was an expensive restaurant, and, you know, listen, I don't give a fuck. You know, if I have the money,

I don't give a fuck if you don't have the money to eat, I'll pay. I don't even care about the thank you, but there was other people who paid. And he looked at me and just got up, And I've never ever seen anything like that in my life. And I felt like saying something to him, like a week later, and I go, who the fuck am I? No, I don't know who it is.

But the one question I would have is, is he rich? Like, did he grow up rich? No. Oh, wow. He didn't grow up rich. So that's what I don't understand. That's surprising to me. That he's a working stiff, you know, his parents.

He was raised by two parents, but one was to stay home. You know, he worked hard. His parents worked really hard growing up. and that's why I can't understand either that he just has no there's no common sense I don't understand somebody who's very smart but has no common sense

I've never understood that And it's not like you have to say it every time But like We don't say it every time If somebody takes the time out to do something nice for you You have to say fucking thank you bro I mean it's the least That you can do for somebody

You know I remember being a kid And there was this family of Tristano On my block And she would make like Meatball Sand which is in the summer, like, you know, and cut them into, you know, and just give them to the kids in the afternoon. We're out there playing.

She'd give us lemonade or whatever the fuck we're doing. And it's so weird that one day I just took one. I just took one one day and turned my back with the napkin. And I heard, oh, Santorio, my mother. And I looked at her like, why, I'm eating? And she was like, come here. And I came over, and I was finishing the sandwich, and she said, do me a favor.

Go over to that woman and tell her fucking thank you. just right now and I go I did it she goes no you didn't you didn't look in her fucking eyes she goes you have no idea how hard she's cooked you know to make you those meatballs or the sandwich I don't know what the fuck yelled at me about but she goes go say thank you look in the eye anytime a woman gives you food whether it's good or bad say thank you they took the time and I remember saying going over and saying thank you being agitated on the walk there but on the walk back and you know what my mother had a point how would I feel if I made a bunch of fucking sandwiches and nobody thanked me and you know what

that's how I felt that day at the restaurant I was like fuck 35 fucking years later it's more I had to be like a kid like eight or nine you know 40 years later the lesson came back to bite me in the ass how bad it seems you don't say thank you or take the fucking time to even say thank you I've never understood that problem I never there's so many fucking things I don't understand anymore and that's one of you know

I we were talking about customer service yeah on Monday you and I were talking about customer service I'm not going to say to spot my shin guards broke you know for kickboxing my shin guard broke the top strap broke I got big fat fucking calves so I took it to him now I'm gonna be honest with you when I took it to him it was my responsibility

my cat's the fat one my cap's the fat one if they would have sold it and said to us we'll snitch it back on and charge you I wouldn't have gotten mad and not at all Lee not at all I fuck him I'm responsible I dropped it off I said when can I pick it up They go, we'll stitch it back. It was Wednesday.

They said, come back Thursday. I said, no, I'll be out of town. How about I just pick it up Monday and take your time? Guy goes, okay. Now, the day I went to drop it off, the place that it opens at 10, I was outside until 10 fucking 20. Oh, that was driving nuts. Okay, and I gave the thing, and then I left. And the second time, when I went to pick him up Monday, it was like at the end of the day, it was on Laurel Canyon, so it was on my spot up.

I pulled it over. I got to park around the fucking building. I walk in, 10 minutes for the guy to come in. He's out in his car talking to his friend. He comes in, and as I go to him, do you have my knee braces? He takes his cell phone, and he shows a picture to his friend, like they're having a conversation. Yeah.

And I look at the guy, and the girl behind the counter goes, no, I didn't take him out of your car. So 20 minutes I waited. I waited all weekend. Now I'm here 10 fucking minutes, and you're going to tell me that you don't have my fucking knee pads. I go, where those knee pads? They go, no, they're not here yet.

I look to the guy and go, listen, I'll come back. tomorrow dog have those fucking knee pads i gotta drive here from the other side of town yesterday i get there again they couldn't find them couldn't find my fucking shing guards i finally looked at the guy go guy you're gonna make me fucking come back he goes no i'll just give you a new pair it was four days it was four hours out of my fucking time like not an hour it's like 20 minutes i got to drive over there but do you understand what i say to people about customer service bro that's it i'll never go there again. Why would I go there again? It cost me my time. I'll pay you

extra as long as you got my shit ready to rock when it's ready to rock. And he could have called you and said, listen, Mr. Diaz, we're having some problems and then you would have been fine, but did it have you go there twice? And to fucking go up there, it's a nightmare. It's not like you pull up in front and go in. They got no parking. She got to pull around the corner.

I got the baby and the wife in the fucking car. I got to walk a half a mile, and I tell you it's not there. This is what I'm talking about customer service. You know, again, The guy has a sign that says, open up. Have you noticed that Lee in California, everybody's late? Absolutely, yeah. And what do they tell you when they show up?

Traffic. Do me a favor, leave 10 minutes earlier. If I told you I had a piece of pussy at 10 a.m. for you, you'd be here 5 to 10. You follow me? Have you watched that Vince Lombardi special on HBO? No. Do you know who Vince Lombardi is? Yeah.

Okay. If you guys, for you guys are lacking fucking character, watch the Vince Lombardi special. Watch what this guy was selling. Is it like a 30-for-30 or something? Yeah, it's on HBO. It's a documentary. Oh, HBO. You don't have HBO?

You don't have HBO? You save fucking $8 a month. It's $20, but I have a free pass. Okay. They just play it December 1st. I have it at the house. You will cry. When I first started comedy on my notebook,

it had a thing that said, you know, at the greatest moment any man could achieve, is lifting his head up on the field and knowing that he put everything he had into this game. It's something that he said that was like that. 20 years ago, I had that in my comedy notebook. because I always knew that this you know people always say to me in the morning

Joey your words they inspire me what the fuck I'm talking about wash your dick with but you know what I'm talking about I'm telling you to be prepared to get out there have your dick ready to go to fucking war which means have your heart and your soul ready to go to war and that's all Lombardi ever wanted from his players you know he had no collar blinds

he didn't care whether you're a fucking Yom Chinese he didn't give a fuck he loved his fucking players you gotta watch this special but the thing he installed about his fucking players is that there's no second There's no second best, bro. Only now, if you play football, if your kid plays football, at the end of the season, the whole team gets a fucking trophy.

It's not about that. It's about fucking winning and getting out there and doing what the fuck you got to do. Watch that Lombardi special and email me your fucking thoughts. Beside that, February 7th, we're at San Jose Improv. February 27th, I'm at the Ice House with my man Lee Syatt doing the Testicle Testaments.

What else we got going on, Lee? We got the documentary still on payloads and iTunes. We got testicle testaments for How I Got the Comedy on iTunes Don't just fucking sit there Don't forget A week from today You want to get your dick sucked

And your balls linked Cherries motherfucking berries All right Go to cherries, what is it? It's berries.com Spell berries from just to get some Spell in the room B-E-R-R-I-E-S

dot com Go to berries.com Look at the strawberries you want The selection Go up to the box What are you presently? Happening. Spell happening for these fucking people

Oh shit H-A-P-P-E-N-I-N-G. Oh shit! And prices started in 1995. If you're gonna get into health, which is what we're talking about. You'll eat these fucking strawberries, you gotta burn them off.

You gotta do jumping jacks. You gotta roll around the fucking dirt. You gotta do whatever the fuck you gotta do. Go to honor.com. Order the three-pack, put church in the fucking box, and you get yourself 15% off. Who's better than Uncle Joey?

Tell him, I sent you, and you get like a T-shirt, an explosive to pull up your ass and alpha brain juice to rub on your fucking toes, whatever the fuck it is. Lee, hit me with a little snow blind

to get these people going, a little black Sabbath and get these people going, you're getting tired on me, Lee. I'm going to get tired. From now on, we're eating edibles from now on. Yeah, right.

And I'm going to have her make the strong, strong, strong banana bread, the one she gives to the fucking Germans. I love you guys. Have a fucking great week. The one just gives to the Germans.