The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - 02/27/2013 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #59

Episode Date: February 28, 2013

Mike Dolce and Ethan Suplee call into the podcast. This podcast is brought to you by Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount. Streamed live on 02/27/2013

Oh shit Warriors Come out to play That's it Oh shit Motherfucking Lee mixing it up over there for you this morning Little Warriors, little ice fucking cube D whoever hit it Lee Oh

Wednesday February 27 The last Wednesday in the month The flying Jew, your uncle fucking Joey Mad Flavit. Lee, hit it. It's Wednesday, motherfucker. What? Military force, and we don't want you.

The flying Nazi. Fuck at you. No, it's not. What? The shit that I'm saying, make sure is hurt. Motherfuck you and your punk ass get over. What, Lee? Oh, Wednesday, motherfucker.

The church of what's happening now? Get up. Get up. Watch that fucking pussy. Get out there. stab somebody in the fucking neck, they're waiting for you. There's an asshole out there waiting for you to fuck it. You know what I'm saying?

It's a beautiful Wednesday morning. Sitting here my main man, Lee, the flying juice I at. Oh shit. Smoking dope. How you doing, buddy? I'm doing awesome. Are you fucking feeling good? Yeah, I make those videos, yo.

I am tired. What the fuck, tired? You're 24 talk, sucker. I don't want to hit tired no more in your vocabulary. Tired is a state of fucking mind. I'm working fucking 80 hours a week. You're going there, you sit, you eat gum, you look at fucking videos. You listen to Pete Holmes' podcast and shit and him and the other guy watching a movie that will be blood.

Don't fucking lie to me. Then you come home and you have insomnia because you don't smoke that fucking herb when you come home. You're wired at 6. So you're up to 11. I see you on Facebook doing juke pictures and shit like that. The issue is I fall asleep and I wake up after four hours. So I do need to start smoking a little bit more. But, yeah, I had...

The shit dead I'm saying. Make sure is heard. Mother fuck you and your punk-ass ghetto bird But I had last night off surprisingly So I'm all set I don't want that tired no more 24 you shouldn't be tired You should be living on three two hours a night

And that slinging dick doing drugs Jumping up and down That's not just going to work and eating You come home and you sit here to you You have to go back to work How can you be tired You get from six to fucking five That's 11 hours

How can you be tired? You should be up at one With the birds flying With a skateboard I can't do a skateboard It's no balance What you mean? I'm no balance You're a fucking Jew

I can't do I can't You've got fucking balance They can dance They can do a lot That's why I like Puerto Rican chair My office is really huge

So they have You know those little Razor scooters And even though I can hold On to it I can barely go a few feet I'm awful at it Razor scooter

Yeah yeah Yeah It's like a little It's like a little scooter That you just go Are you fucking serious Yeah These fucking people

Are the craziest You know it's a big office But they are Big office Yeah Anyway, this fucking guy This society's getting sore The fucking scooter to get around the yor

And you believe this shit And we're obese And everybody wants to blame McDonald's No, because nobody's fucking walking around Get out there The suns is shining If you're in the East Coast It's fucking raining

If you're in the Midwest Get your fucking shovels, cock suckers It's over You better call an Eskimo From Alaska to come down Because it's fucking cold The whole thing That's one thing about Southern California

Weather stays nice I mean, you know Any day now the fucking Earth is going to start shi shiombole of and the building's going to land on my fucking head. Don't say that. But between that and whatever, we're okay. The weather's nice.

You got the wheat stores. You got 7-Eleven. What's going on with you, cuck, sucker? Nothing. Just did my taxi yesterday. Got that out of the way. Paid the fucking government. Way too much money.

It's amazing when you pay them. You go, Jesus fucking Christ. It's amazing when, you know, like I tell people, have you eaten in that? No. Go to Arizona. Next time you go to Arizona. Yeah.

Water food. Yeah. Wait till the check comes. And you die. Go, wait a second, the entree was 1995, I got a soda for two bucks. How can it be $21? Yeah, it's a worst tier. Everywhere else.

No, no, no. There's no taxes. There's no sales tax. There in Nashville. So when you go to these places, that's when you notice it. When you're in L.A. and you buy something for five bucks, and they come back and it's seven fucking 80. It's 10% here, sales tax. Yeah, so you're like, what the fuck did I spend my money on?

And you're like, so you could see the contrast. You see the big difference. When you pay those fucking taxes, they hurt, dog. When you write that check, you get a lot. fucking dizzy. You start thinking about going AWOL, fuck the government. Especially after every week. I don't know for other people, but the amount I'm making, they take

30% out, basically. I'm working 10 days out of the month for free and they still take more out of the end of the year. Budget cuts on Friday. I didn't even see that. What's going on? There's budget cuts. I don't know, Obama's going up against fucking Congress now. You know, but the bottom line is going to let go

air traffic controllers. They're going to let go of fucking TSA agents. There's going to be less fucking DA, less cops on the fucking street. And millionaires, like, Mint Romney is paying 17%. That's all I'm talking about here. So, uh,

it's, let's see what happens. Let's see what happens. You know, this flying shit is a fucking painting asses it is. If I got to be there two hours before I fly, they ain't fucking worth it. I ain't fucking worth it.

Two hours, but to add to the fucking six, I got to be in the fucking ass dressed out. The plane's going down. There's an arab with firecrackers. There's always fucking something. You know what I'm saying? Anyway,

I played a little sec. I'll pay a little, Lee, I'll tell you what, man. I'm old, and my memory's shot. I'm sorry, I apologize to you guys. For months, we gave you movies and stuff like that. I just want to give you fucking movies that hit you, knock you off your feet. About a week ago, I went to a buddy man's house to see his kids

and just fucking around the afternoon. I had to pick up a tape or something. Okay. And he was watching the redone warriors. They redid it? Like, not redid it. Like, you know how they digitally remaster and all that shit? It's fucking clean.

Even the shit you showed me on your computer. It's clean. Yeah. That's why they put it up there because to show people, this is a whole new, redone warriors. And it was up to that part.

Mm-hmm. You know, when he's like, blund, do-d-d-d-d-rum, Warriors come out to play, and all that shit. Now I'm going to give you a little something. Not because I want to show you,

like a lot of podcasts you're here, no, I want to tell you a story just so you hear about motivation for people who want to be actors because Jordan, thank me yesterday, you know, Jordan Lee.

Jordan Lee thanked me. He got picked up by an agent. Oh, nice. He hit me up, and we talked a little bit. And it's crazy because I'm a fucking stand-up comic nitty-gritty style. But I was also always in love with the acting. Like I like movies.

I really like Charles Bronson. Not that he's an Academy Award with an actor. But what the fuck was I talking about? Oh, movies. So, you know, one of my biggest fucking thrills ever was getting along this yard. I was very fortunate for that. I hustled it. I made my own audition tape and sent it.

A lot of people don't know if they didn't want to see me. They wanted to see stars. But fuck that shit. We don't stop you at the church What's happening on now We'll leave juicing it Fuck these motherfuckers They all gotta suck your dick

Once you know something in your heart Fucking go for it right So I put this audition tape together And I sent it in And I get this movie And I meet with them And they tell me what they expect from me I meet with the director

And I go to wardrobe And I do all that shit Then I got to call I gotta go to table read Okay That's where you all get together And you read the script Everybody who's in the fucking movie

Yeah And then they call it back And they go no no no no No no You just pack your bags You guys are doing the table read, you're going to lunch, and then you're flying to New Mexico to start shooting a movie. Wow.

So I get to this fucking thing, and then I go upstairs, and they got catered food, there's Bert Reynolds from 30 feet away. There's the old woman. Who's that old old woman that's really bad right now? She's old. She's on that show with the fucking baby on Fox. Greg Garcia's new show. I have no idea.

She's an old lady. Anyway, I see her. She's a star. I see Michael Irvin. I see Adam San. I see Chris Rock. I see all these people. And my legs are getting fucking weak.

But my legs didn't even start getting weak until I've seen David Patrick Kelly. That's the actor that plays the bottles. And he says, Warriors come out to play. As a matter of fact, I'm going to have that motherfucker calling on the podcast. Oh, great. I remembered this yesterday.

So one day in New Mexico, him and I were hanging out. Because he's my fucking idol. Listen, he was Luther in 48 hours. And he's that guy with the boss. and he's done a thousand other projects, but I loved him 48 hours, and I loved him as fucking Luther. I loved the other way around.

I loved them as Luther in 40 hours, and I loved them in The Warriors, a dirty look. So when they were talking, he was telling me how he came up with that. Oh, he came up with it? Yeah, first off, guys, this motherfucker was a drummer in a band with like Bruce Springsteen or something,

fucking something crazy, David Patrick Kelly. And then, later on, one day his buddy who was in the band, band with him, ask him to cover for him because he was in the play. And D.P. fucking covered. That was the night that Walter Hill came in to watch the play and the rest of his fucking history, my friend.

Walter Hill auditioned him and he got this role. But he said that when he first moved to the Bronx in the 60s, he had a long hair from Detroit. And he lived in the Bronx. There was a gangster that lived downstairs. And every night, the gangster would get bottles and play him together and go, dirty hair,

come out to play, yay. Because he hated him, because he had long fucking air and hence that's where he got that fucking whole thing from so that's how these fucking crazy actors get that shit from so I respect that part of it where he took it from somewhere else in his life

and look at he put it on the fucking screen you follow me that's a bad motherfucker right there Lee what else cock's sucker tell me something good then we hit you with ghetto forget about it it's fucking Wednesday the last Wednesday of February you know like I said even Chinese people stay home it's a bad luck day but for the

church of what's happening now we go out there I was going to talk to you about juicing, but why kill these people? Mike Dolce is calling a little while. Oh, great. We're just talking about juicing. That's it. So today's a fat man alert. Fat man alert.

You're a fat fuck. Get your earphones. Put down those scrambled eggs. Get a peach or a fucking pear or whatever you got in your house. And listen to the goddamn show. You know what I want to set an app up where your phone can tell if you're in like a fast food place. And the dude goes, fat man alert. Fat man alert.

And then you have to leave. I'm going to put an app that you drive with a driver with your fucking car just blows up. You'll walk around with a stock. You'll walk around with a stuff. stub like that guy that killed his girlfriend and fucking South Africa. You'll be flipping up and down with those flappers. That fucking guy kills his girlfriend

those fucking dirty motherfuck. He shoots into the bathroom. That's fucking intense. Come on. He shot that bitch while she was pissing. Didn't even get her a chance to stand up like a fucking soldier. You shoot a woman when she's sitting pissing, motherfucker. You got any music for me? It's Black History.

He'll hit me a little Rick Jamesley's motherfuckers. Break out the fucking crackpipes, cock sucker. Come on, It's Wednesday. You know, oh shit. Wiggle Funk with Joey Lee. Hit it.

Oh shit. Oh, shit. Look at you. My wiggling is gone up. Oh, I know. Look at you. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

See, you can do it per second. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Uh-huh. Who else is wiggling? It's six in the morning.

No. And smoking dope with three hands. I got vapors. I got water. I had a protein shake. Get me some my assholes about to my. Hit it. What?

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh shit, you bad motherfuckers watching tonight. Testicle Testaments tonight. Oh, that's going to be awesome. I can't wait. I've been fucking crying, writing this shit. Remember my sins?

You know, they finally dawned on me. I'm a fucking sinner, Tom. You know what? That's me. That's me, dog. I'm a fucking sinner. What are you going to do? What made you have that realization?

When I was writing this testicle testament, dog, I fucked up. Well, luckily you're Catholic. I only have to do is confess. No, it ain't that fucking. It's a testicle testament. You know, the confession part is easy of it. I got you guys to confess to them the podcast

and tell my fucking stupid stories. It's living with yourself. Yeah. And that's what this testicle testament was about. This wasn't about the crimes I did to people. This was the crimes I did to the people who loved me. And the people who expected more from me. But I wasn't doing it to them.

I was doing it to me. By that point in my life, you know, three years before you. Right now you're 24 years old. You got the world by the balls. think of being 21 having no fucking home no nothing the only thing I had was cocaine and a couple pair of jeans and that's it I don't know how the fuck we even get got here

I can't even put that correlation with this so writing this has been a fucking a nightmare for me I mean it really has because it was six months that I heard nobody but me you know what I'm saying? Did you kind of block it out? No I realized that all the work I've done was to eliminate that

was to eliminate what I put together, what I did to myself those six months, all this little work that I've done. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. You were talking, you were like, you were homeless for a point during that period. You know, sleeping in people's backyards coming down off Coke and coming down off Coke,

feeling bad about yourself, you know, if I would have gave it another week, I would have fucking stab myself. Something bad would have. That's when I was breaking into people's houses to sleep. I would break into your back window just to sleep just to get four hours of sleep just to wash my face

and go back out there and start stealing whatever the fuck I was doing again I was fucked up man that's why now we're living like a fucking king we get in the car we come up I see you in the morning we talk to these fucking crazy lunatics we smoke dope with you the energy's out motherfucker it's a beautiful one's they can't stop you now you got up and made an effort for yourself

and especially with the people who helped you because I can I bet like a reason why most people are homeless for a while is because there must be It must just be like once you be homeless, it must be hard to stop being homeless because you can't get a job and then you can't get a price. You're right.

You're going down all these stairs. But for me at that point, I had fucked every door that was open to me. My friends liked me, but they were kind of all like, what the fuck, dog? Yeah. We didn't want to know about this.

We didn't want to know about this homeless situation because you shouldn't be here. You know, in those days, you had the opportunity to sell coke or, you know, he had a job. I was doing a thousand things, but I didn't want that. I wanted to put all my energy into party,

and I wanted to save the $800 a month. Yeah. I mean, you know, I wanted to save the $800 a month. I thought in my head I didn't even know what's in my head. Didn't even know it was in my head. Yeah. I'd have been smoking more fucking refa. That's cocaine, everything would have been beautiful.

You follow me? But it's weird when you think of your life and you're right these little parts of your life where you didn't even know how it affected you. Yeah. You know, I thought all this shit before that affected me. Fuck, no. that conversation with my uncle

when I tried to rob him in Vermont and I called him last night on the way home from kickboxing I went to kickboxing at 8 and it's funny I was thinking about him because for 20 fucking years I hated that motherfucker I used to call him and just hang up on him

from all over the country I remember being in prison and we had pay phones and I would fucking call him and say in Spanish with like a fag voice like that the guy who kept calling my toy the fucking guy from Notre Dame with the fag voice and telling me it was a chick.

I would call him up and say, I'm going to kill you. They want my daughter. He goes, I know who this is on the phone. He's never brought it up lately. But I used to call him. That was the hatred. But I hated him, not because he did something bad to me. I hate him because he called me out. Yeah.

I hated him because he told me what I knew, but I didn't want to fucking hear. And what those words he said to me made me get up off my fucking ass and prove myself to myself. Yeah. Because at the last fucking, at the end of this whole fucking thing, the only person you got to prove yourself to is your fucking self. Fuck your mother, fuck your father, fuck the neighbors, fuck those white people you work with the BMW. If you ain't happy, fuck those motherfuckers, you know?

Yeah. So that's always been my fucking claim to fame. That don't give a fuck. You got to be happy. At the end of the day, you got to prove it to your motherfucking self. Fuck all these jerkoffs around you. You fuck them. I do this for me, dog.

I do this because to overcome what was it. Until today I feel bad. Till today I feel like a fucking loser every day. I mean, what the fuck do I do for a living? I get up and I talk to these fucking mooks and I go on stage and I crack fucking jokes. That's not a living. There's people after I get up and do construction

and dig trenches and shit like that. You know, what the fuck is this? How lucky are mine? Yeah. You know, so, you know, what do I do? What science? What have I fucking done? What gene have I cut?

What kid have I saved? What fucking fire that I turn out? What fucking robbery that I stop. You follow, what I'm saying to you? In today's society, we look at the wrong fucking people. You know, and, okay, I get you started, I make you laugh a little bit, whatever the fuck. But who sits around and listen to a doctor to a podcast about, you know, cancer cells? In fact, I'm going to look up doctors who are saving fucking midgets from cancer.

It's a very specific practice. What the fuck? You know what I'm saying? Why not? No, but I can tell you for me, like when I, like being, having times when I've been depressed and stuff, having comics and like watching comedy or listening to podcast, it does help, but I

see it from people who tweet at you. And I don't know how it was back when there wasn't stuff like the internet and Twitter, but with the internet now, and anyone can see you no matter where you're performing. I mean, it does make a difference. Well, I'm happy. I'm happy you look at it. I'm happy, though. I'm happy

that, you know, you look at it that way. I just sometimes think, what the fuck? I might as well get a gun and shoot people. Because there's no fucking difference. I'm still a criminal. I mean, this is criminal. This is criminal. This is criminal, but this is America.

We could do this. We could fucking talk. You didn't get up at 6 in the morning and get on a fucking computer with a camera and some fucking thing in front of you? I don't know what you created here. I feel like Pat Benatar with this fucking dish in front of my face.

And say, what the fuck we're talking about? Say fuck a thousand times. And talk about a reefer and smoke reefer. Come on now. That's the beauty of these motherfuckers don't see that I do see. That's the fucking beauty, though. Mm-hmm. And do you ever, I don't want to say worry, but especially with your daughter and all the podcasts and the writing the book now, is that why it's affecting you?

Like, are you worried when she's going to read it? Or, like, how do you think it's going to affect her? It's not. She's not going to think about it. She's not going to know what I do. You don't think she's going to read the book? Fuck, no. When she's 30 and I'll be long fucking gone. You know what I'm saying? I mean, talk, I'm 50. She's eight weeks old. By the time she's 10, I'm 60. Yeah. But at times she's fucking 15, going through the prom. I'm 65.

People are going to say, who's that? Your grandpa? People already ask me, are you her fucking grandpa? No, I think there's a lot of people having kids at your age right now. Oh, now. You know, they was talking yesterday about somebody's body at 70. Somebody's body at 30. Did you see that?

No. Bodies, there was some channel yesterday. I don't want to get involved with it if I don't really know. They were saying that somebody who's 70, 50 years ago, now has the body of a 30 year old or feels like he's 30 something just outrageous because people are really taking care of themselves

I never thought so I'd be going to kickboxing three times a week and going to a while once or twice a week or going to a yoga I never fucking thought of 50 you're fucking crazy I thought I was never going to work out I'm going to have a 38 and I'm having more fun now doing it that hour and a half I go fuck around

or you know just pushing that fucking baby car sometimes I get like I'll go home this morning talk to her for a while we, breakfast, excuse me, the fucking thing gave me gas. I'm not even farting yet. And, uh, and, uh, you know,

we just walk like two miles to that park. Yeah. Then I walk around in circles with it and I walk home. Just that little fucking thing. Yeah. Just getting out there and doing all this shit. Just, uh, I think what it is,

and for me, well, what it is for me, when I, like, when I was younger, 30 seemed like ancient. Ancient.

And now, now I'm working and it doesn't see it. It's only five years away. Oh, my God. 40 seemed ancient when I was 20 fucking. told him like 40, fuck, but that's why I never even thought about it

because I thought it was going to be dead. And my point is, I mean, I can't, I don't want to speak for you, but you don't seem like you feel old and you would have thought probably three years ago

you thought 50 was ancient. Listen, after you thought, listen, before you do anything, before you see success, you have to see it. And everything starts

in your fucking mind. That's why I get pissed at you when you say those words tired. Mm-hmm. You have no fucking idea what tired is. The problem with you is, the next thing that you're going to do is go get a sleep study.

Yeah. And take care of this sleep happening. you're not sleeping. That's why you don't sleep past four fucking hours. Because you're choking yourself and your mind is like, why are we going to keep doing this shit? You imagine if I just came over and sat on you, every fucking 30 minutes or two minutes?

Yeah. That's sleep apnea. And you know what? It affects you. That's why I had that doctor call in because I need you guys to go out and get a sleep study. Nip it now. Nip it now.

Like they should have stopped Hitler in Munich. Correct? Yeah. If you nip it now, and no disrespect the Japanese being going to nip, Joe, what the... No! What I'm saying here is that I nip it now, so it ends. Yeah.

Because you don't want it to get where I'm at right now. Like right now, I got to practice sleeping without a fucking machine. When if the lights turn off? What if there's a fucking earthquake? Yeah. After three days, there's no electricity, and I got to sleep. We protect my family. So every once in a while, I practice on a fucking chair, and I'm doing it.

I fall asleep for three, four hours. I don't wake up grabbing your chest. Yeah. And choking the death like some fat chicks sitting on your face. That, after Kong was one of the main reasons why I started losing. and wait because I I'm a really picky not I don't want to say picky but a picky sleeper

like I can't sleep I don't really like sleeping on my back and I was It's not that you really don't like sleeping on your back It's that you can't Well yeah and I And I'm not putting you down I had the same fucking problem I had to sleep on my stomach

We discussed this already And I didn't want to I didn't think I could sleep With the mask on or like it would always pop off Like my dad had it for a while And he said it always pop out He'd always wake up and be gone And I was thinking oh I'll just have the surgery But when he said that's not really effective

But losing weight is that's one of the main reasons why I decided to start doing this. You're a bad, Lee, what the fuck? We've had this conversation. You're a bad motherfucker. Who do you think you're dealing with some novice from? I'm an internet sensation. Dole. Let's get a shout out today.

It's a beautiful day to be alive. Get up, wash your pussy, wash your asshole. Do what the hell you got to do here? I'm fucking high. You can't be smoking that dope at me. I'm sorry, man. What are you going to do with me? All right, you cock suckers.

Here you go. George Kemper. Jeff Hamburg. Chuck Babsworth Or Doddsworth Matt D.C. Freddie Dinian

Bobby Zim H. Dizzle fucking Guy's Papp The Guy Spot podcast H. Dizzle that's a good man way that Little John

and blogger fucking Jake whatever his name is I love you motherfucker does I tell you that this podcast today is brought to you by honor No you didn't

Yes I fucking did I was a nice protein shake this morning I did it like Einstein does it Okay I got the almond chocolate hemp and I put a fucking couple of bananas in there. Oh.

Just a little slab of peanut butter. I got the muffler going. I got everything fucking cleaned up. But the time I leave you, I'll be farting in the car. I get back in the car an hour later. It still smells like the core of the fucking asshole. You ever do that? You ever fart in your car right before?

I love it. You get a little dump and you get back in there. You almost gag yourself to death. You got to open up all four windows. Yeah. Take a shoe off. To throw it off. To throw it off.

Anyway, listen to me. That fucking chocolate hemp. Never stops tasting good. Sometimes you drink something chocolate and it's delicious and you can never get that flavor again. Like when I was a kid, the poo hall where I got the Quaila, the Lucy Snowbush's pussy, downstairs was a pool hall.

It was called Columbia Hall. And downstairs was a pool hall, but upstairs was a bowl alley. Okay. And for some reason they had those machines with the two fucking nipples sticking out. You ever see those? No.

And you put your cup to it. Not as a person. The people behind the bar, the people that are waitresses or waiters would push the machine and milk would come out. Okay. It would be creamy fucking milk.

And I don't know what chocolate fudge they used to put in. He had a long spoon, like a Coke spoon. Just made chocolate milk? Just made chocolate milk. It was the best. I drink 19 of them a night. No beer, no cocktails. And I would just smoke reefer, eat a quail and drink chocolate milk.

Up at the fucking pool hall. Some chocolate milks are just delicious. Listen, everybody likes chocolate milk. That's not how I don't understand how you drink U-Hoo, because U-HU is so watery. But I grew up on U-HU-Hua, and it's just, to fix. But fucking chocolate,

there's nothing better in chocolate milk. Everybody knows that. A little good chocolate milk, you whip it up and shit like that. And everybody has their own taste for chocolate.

Like, you who, a little bit of it. I like white and black chocolate. You liked us. We were talking about it. I'm a good fucking fat man alert today. Mike Dolce is cool. I got a fart brewing

in my ass all like a storm. Lucky me. Oh, yeah, yeah. This is a good one, too. I can feel it. It's going to pick me up like that. You ever see when you fart

and you pick yourself up a little bit like that. Ooh, there you go. God bless America, motherfuckers. It's Wednesday. Hit it, Lee. Give me some music. A little Led Zeppelin.

Something you're sitting. No, Lee, you're a little Celia Cruz for these motherfuckers. Let's get these guys going for the Spicks up there. Dead Squad, Harlem, my Dominicans. Hit it, Lee. Oh shit, little Celia Cruz going back to the old school. Where's that reef, Lee? He smoked at all.

Where is it? Where's the fucking back? What? There's a bad bitch right here. This is the fucking heartbeat of Cuba right here. This woman. Wiggle it. You're a little weefing.

Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Do it. Ha ha ha. Bama lo by ya.

Oh shit. Hit it. It throws trumpets when you do it. Haftone to you. You got to get it together. But I know we talked about it. on Monday, but this is reminding me, did you see,

or do you hear the part of the Oscars when the woman sang a gold Goldfinger? That was a great fucking song. What's the trumpet? Fuck you and Goldfinger. You're talking about that shit when Celia Cruz is on. Listen to the shit.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Cruz. This is 1978 Drone and He, that shit. What does Keenboro mean? Keembrough means shut your fucking mouth and mind your business. That's what it means. I don't fucking know. Hit it!

Gotta get people bouncing and shit. I can't keep giving them fucking Black Sabbath and Pink Floyd. I gotta give him a taste of the fucking island of the flavor. Oh, shit. Do it, Lee. Here you go. Here you go for the fucking Greeksans, for the Dominicans, for the Cubans, for the Mexicans. I love you, Cocksuckuckers.

You voted for Obama. Look what you got. Here you go. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Where's Jill Himitsu up there? Up in fucking Seattle. Dancing.

All right. I love it. Shut that shit, what are we fucking Spanish people here? We're going to get thrown out of the building. You can't play

Spanish music over here at 7 in the morning. I think you're fucking Yahoo. That was the best part of the Oscars. And my wife told me and I went online and found it. Her singing.

When I was a kid, she used to sing Diamonds off forever. Yeah. Forever. It was fucking spooky, but I heard she fucking destroyed it. Oh, yeah. And it's so funny.

Listen, like I said, I can't stand these. fucking people no more. I can't stand these fucking thinking they're sophisticated waspy motherfuckers with their tournaments and their stupidity with those fucking Oscars.

I can't stand there. Let me tell you, and that's Seth MacFarlane, that's a funny motherfucker. He did the best he could. He went up there, he did some fucking off-color jokes. You know, he danced, he sang a song, but at the end, all these motherfucking donkeys, these white donkeys, all they want is that Steve Martin with his glasses,

on. They want the other fucking Billy Crystal and Mork and their fucking Whoopi Goldberg. If they don't have those four, they have a fucking heart attack, these fucking dinosaurs. I want to see these four guys with their fucking glasses. If I see one more fucking person with these fake fucking glasses on,

I can't even wear these fucking things. I really need them, but I don't want people to think I'm one of those fucking idiots that puts glasses on, like to think people to make people think they look smarter or something. What the fuck is wrong with you? What the fuck is wrong with people? The other day I was on Facebook and some girl had a party.

Some dumb fucking chick had a party. And she took a picture with five people in Hollywood and they all had those fake big glasses on. I'm like, look at these five fucking dick-sucking sheep. That's what they are, is fucking sheep. And to make people think like they're sophisticated, like glasses. Like, if I go to the farmer's market on a fucking Sunday and I see a mom with arm tattoos again,

I'm going to stab one of you dumb, dirty, fake fucking bitches. You understand me? For years in this country, you had to stab a motherfucker, or suck somebody's dick or go to jail, or stab a black guy or something to get a fucking tattoo. Now moms with little fucking hairdoes are getting fucking armed things. It embarrasses me to no fucking end

the sheepish fucking country we become. But enough with this. This second-thalding kid was tremendous to your night. He was tremendous. The parts I watch of it, he said a fucking joke that was brilliant. He said a joke that was fucking brilliant. What's the one? Do you remember?

He said that this show was being watched by over a billion people worldwide. That's why Jody Fawkes still be out here and a half hour and talk to you about a privacy. That is a fucking joke. That's a Carlin-style joke. The one about something that he threw Rianne and Chris Brown, that is a Carlin-written style joke.

Respect it for what it is, you dumb waspy, fucking fake motherfuckers that always want to lay your fucking judgment on people. You know, it was amazing. It just blew my fucking mind. The kid sang a song about boobs or something like that. Yeah, I saw your boobs. I saw your boobs. You know, he's just breaking up tonight.

It's three and a half hours of watching the same fake fucking waspy fucks. You understand me? That's all it is. You know, then they put the camera on Steven Spielberg when he loses. You know, it's just, you have to control and clap. Come on. If I lose to some bum, I'm going to get up and throw a fucking chair at Ang Lee. You fucking chink fuck.

cock sucker. Are you kidding me or what? I'm going to sit there and clap and make-beliement. Oh, yeah, if it wasn't me, it should have been there. Can you imagine that shit, ladies gentlemen? And today, they're still going to bullshit me with that. Where they have to work on that. Like, all right, if you lose, what face are you going to put on? Who are you going to look at? That don't give a fuck. Me, you lose. Your cock suck! Let's get out of here. Get up your fuck. And all you motherfuckers can suck my dick at this table.

I'm like Tony Montana in 84 when he tells everybody to suck his dick at the restaurant. You're all a bunch of fucking mummies. I was going to say that if you lost, the camera would only get you walking out. Oh, I fucking smack somebody if I lost. I'd say I kicked the fucking table. I used to suck my dick. All of you used to suck my dick, you cock suckers.

Sorry about that. I'm sorry. Sometimes I get stoned and I don't take my blood pressure medication. I come over here and, you know, I love you, a leacock sucker. Anyway, it's a beautiful day to be alive. Wednesday, what time is? I don't even fucking know.

6.30. I don't even give a fuck anymore. Time, space. At this point, I'm 50. I got one foot in a grave. Pretty soon you're going to be Duncan Trussell. Why? What's the matter? What happened to Duncan? No, nothing happened. I know he was on the podcast yesterday. I didn't watch it. I'm just saying with the time and space stuff. Oh, I thought you were talking about one nut, cock sucker. No, no. It's funny how...

Is he doing okay? I don't know. I don't know. I haven't heard from him. I haven't spoken to anybody. I've been incognito lately. Okay. If everybody else is cognito, I'm incognito. You know me. I go deep. deep, deep undercover. I'm busy. I got a week left,

so I'm trying to take care of 20,000 million fucking things. For all you people that are buying T-shirts and sending me pictures, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for going to joeycoco-deas.net. No, joey-deas.com. And we got the hoodies, we got the whole fucking thing over there.

So thank you for going over there watching and buying some T-shirts and supporting the course. The long-sleeved one helps everybody out here at the podcast. But fuck, Lee. looking at me and I owe you $20, like, I want to ask me, like, where's the 20 I gave you the other day? Well, you probably do. You steal all my lighters. What's going on? I didn't steal your lighter.

It's right here, all right? Stealing my bar. I take them home. You come home and you get them. It's like a fucking Led Zeppelin out of my bar, you know? While we're waiting, I was, last night I was watching, there was nothing on TV, and the Cosby show came on. And I was from 1986, and it was still fucking funny. Funny. And he was, I was thinking about it.

He was the first comedian, really, like, of the first that I ever saw, I saw Bill Cosby himself. I bought him on VHS. Tremendous. And no one really talks about him when they talk about stand-ups. What was he like, how big was he in the 80s? First off, he started on a show when I was a kid. I think it was called Not I Spy.

What was the first show he was on? I don't know. What a white dude? I can look for it. You know, I remember watching the special. Mm-hmm. But I'm not going to be, I'm not going to lie to your people. He was on Ice Spy.

He was on Ice Spy. I'm not going to lie to you people. Once I seen Richard Pry, I haven't seen what he brought. We'll get a cook, and then we'll finish this after. Buenos Dias. What's up, brother? What's up, my man? Thank you very much for calling.

Good morning. My man, Mike Dolce on the line. What's up, buddy? Not too much. You know, I'm actually listening to Joey Diaz, the church of what's happening now, you know, starting off the day. I hear you over there doing jumping jacks, rubbing bengen your feet eating fucking ginger snaps you're a savage you know that's the way we do

I hear you my friend uh what's been going on in your world I know you got a podcast you got another book you're a man of a thousand fucking things fucking busy man just like you busy grinding away trying to share the information you know with the good people out there uh we do have the new podcast the Mike Dolce show out we're kind of you know making our way through that having some fun in the process and uh just doing a deal man keeping people healthy you working with now? Who are you prepping for fights up next now? Next up we got Johnny Hendrix,

you know, fighting Carlos Condit, March 16th up there in Montreal, Canada. We got Chalcana coming up after that, Vitor Belfort, Nick Lens, Tiago Aves coming back soon. So it's going to be a busy spring in some of it is here. Good for you. I've seen Tiago. He looked tremendous. I saw him down on West Palm Beach.

He came to one of his shows. He's just a freaking man. Yeah, he looked really good. Very personable. Amazing. Amazing. The reason why I wanted you to come on the show are co-host here, my main man, the Flying Jew, Lee Syatt, one of the Jews diet. In the seven days, he's lost 35 pounds. And it's popular.

It's the new big thing. You know, Doge, I can't stand kale. I try to, you know, I'm real fucking, you know, I've been eating a salad at night for dinner lately. That's what I've been doing, a nice little mild salad. My wife makes me nice. That's why I've been going to bed lately with a salad. But as far as drinking it, it drives me fucking nuts. I couldn't even drink the tea.

The acupunctures came me two weeks ago for the... But I wanted you to just touch on it. I went on your book and I know that you have the kitchen sink and the Bappel on there. You only had two recipes on the newer books. You have more recipes. Yeah, so you got Living Lee. Living Lee, we only got a couple of the essential juicing recipes.

But in the Living Lean Cookbook, man, we got a shitload of recipes. We got recipes for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, desserts, post workout. We really did cram it up. I'll send you guys out a couple books. Make sure Lee's got what he needs over there. Thanks. Also, you got a problem with

kale, Joey, red grapes. If you add red grapes, few handfuls of red grapes to your kale shakes, totally neutralizes because I know what you're talking about. The kind of bitter little weird aftertaste you get from the kale. There's some red grapes in there, man. It's fucking magic.

That's crazy because this salad my wife makes me has grapes in it. and at first I kept asking why do you put grapes in it? Yeah, she was like, try the fucking grapes. No shit, so the grapes will take that flavor away. I'm glad you said. I put apples and grapes in mine, yeah.

You noticed it too late? I put grapes in just by accident because I was putting in a whole bunch of stuff and it wasn't sweet enough, like I could still taste and I didn't want, like I wanted to be able to enjoy it as much as I could. So I put about three or six, depending on the size of the apples

and I throw in about four handfuls of grapes and taste like grape-appleduce and it just goes down. I do the same thing, man. I add enough sweet shit to fucking hide the dirt shit. I'm no fucking superhero over here, man. That's a geniuses.

Now, Mike, I don't know if you've seen it, but there's a documentary that's inspired this for a lot of people that are called Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. And they have a recipe called for Mean Green, and a lot of people do it. But what are good things to juice? Because a lot people have been asking me, and I just do the recipes I find online.

Sure. The best things to juice are what's fresh, what's live, what's most natural, because that's going to give you the most nutrient density. It's going to taste better because it is fresh. I like to mix carrots, celery, kale, spin, lemon. I'll throw some cheese seeds in there. I'll throw some hemp in there. I will throw some on it, hemp force in there, which is an awesome product. I'm a big fan of that. I'll put certainly the grapes in there. Now we'll go some fruits. I'll put some red grapes in there. I'll put

apples in there almost every shake. And what we do is we'll get some frozen. Instead of, you know, you want to cool it down, you want to put some ice in there, we'll just use some frozen fruits, whether it's blueberries, whether it's strawberries, you know, so they got these different smoothie mixes. We'll freeze some of that stuff so it'll help cool it down. You know, so it has that good flavor. You definitely want to add fats. A lot of people make the mistake of not adding

fats in with their juices. You know, whether it's a fruit juice or a vegetable juice, you want to add fat in there also because that's actually going to help you absorb and retain a lot of nutrition that you're getting. Okay, because yeah, so I do these YouTube updates. I only get like a couple

hundred views, but I just do it to motivate myself and someone commented that they put peanut butter and something else, some like olive oil or just some healthy fats in there. It was weird to me they must be doing a shake and I'm doing a juice but you're saying that actually can help. Absolutely.

I consider it essential at this point. So your fats, they can come into the form of cheese seeds, of flax seeds, of hemp oil. I certainly put hemp hearts in there. Coconut oil. And coconut oil is amazing. Where it tastes freaking

delicious. It's fully versatile. You can use it in so many different situations. But when you add just a teaspoon, tablespoon, tablespoon of coconut oil to your shake, it adds a whole other dimension of flavor. You know, it just tastes so good now that your drink becomes almost tropical in the way. Yeah. And then the other question I had is it sounds like you're also doing a little bit of a shake, and I'm doing juicing. And a bunch of people have told me, oh, no, you need to do the shake. I'm going to stick with the juicing for now. But what's a difference? between a shake and a juice. Like, why would you choose you the one?

That's a good question. So there's basically three tiers of juicers, blenders, you know, mixers, extractors. And you get like the traditional, the old school mom had on account of the Walmart blender is what I call it. And you can pick those up really cheap. You can even go to your mom's house. You probably have two or three stuffed up in the cabinet under her kitchen sink.

Grab one of those. That's the first way to start. From there, we go. to a juicer. Now, a juicer, like, you have probably, like, the Jack Lane is the most famous. What that does, it pulls out the juice, the liquid from the fruit or from the product, the produce, and it extracts it. That's a juice extractor, but it keeps a lot of the pulp, as they call it, the raw bits, it puts into that container that you got to dump out. Yeah.

Now, the last one would be a Vitamix or a Blendek, like Rogan has, talks about. So those are just, they're super high-powered blender. What they can do, they can actually turn the full piece of fruit into liquid, unlike the blender. The blender can just kind of chop it and get it, you know, to like a paste or a pudding where the Vitamix Blend tech will actually, you know, break it all the way down to a liquid. Now, what's better or what's worse? They're all awesome. So I hear the same conversations. Don't let anyone discourage you from doing what you're doing.

What you're doing is excellent. but also don't miss that on the opportunity to use the raw parts. Now, if you're using a juicer, you know, like the Jack Lane style, sounds like you are, you get the juice, you make your delicious drink, but also some of the bits that are left over, like if you use carrots, and I try and do this singularly. I try and do my carrots first. I'll put that into the glass, and then I'll pull the carrot pulp out.

I'll put it in a bowl. Then I'll do the apples, and I'll put that in the bowl. Now, some of which I'll make, we'll turn into a soup, some of which we'll just put in the dog food. We've got a couple dogs. We've got a house full of fucking animals over here. And we'll put some of that stuff into there. But we try not to waste it.

And all that's the rope that's extracted, that's pulled down. And that's edible. And that's still good. That still has nutrition available. But you don't have to buy a $400 vitamin if you don't want to right away. I heard a lot of people make cookies with it with all the pulp. There's a bunch of recipes online for it. Exactly.

And then can you explain to me? It sounds weird, but I'll just update you for, I ate a lot of fast food and then I would drink nothing almost but Diet Coke. I know. I listen to the church of what's happening now. I fucking screaming my radio. What the fuck you do with Taco Bell motherfucker? Sound like Joey Diaz over here. I know, but what, can you explain to me why I've lost so much weight so quickly?

Because I know it must be water weight, but to lose almost 40 pounds in just over a week isn't going to happen every week. But why is it happening so quickly? Yeah, a few different things. Definitely the water weight. Now your body's not holding off to the water anymore like you used to. So that's a big step. You'll see people lose 5, 10 pounds in the first week, no problem, just of the water. So you lose the water weight.

Also, I'm assuming that you had a lot of, you know, unfortunately impacted fecal matter inside. That's food that is still stuck in your digestive system in some way, shape, or form that hasn't made its way out. and the lower quality food you're eating, the less it's going to pass through your digestive system. So you had some food stuck inside you. And, you know, lots of the stories go back about John Wayne. When he died, he had 27 pounds of impacted fecal matter inside him. That means if he was a 207-pound man when he passed away,

he really should have been 180 because he had all this fucking whiskey and red meat stuck up inside him. Pretty fucking nasty. So those are two big ways. also, you know, your body is, you know, changing. You're not holding on to the water retention anymore, and you are losing body fat. Now, you didn't lose 40 pounds of body fat, certainly, in the first week.

You definitely lost a couple pounds, but also your muscles are going to shed some of their size temporarily because of glycogen. If you're only juicing, your body's not going to be retaining the sugar that it normally does. So you're going to see your body kind of deflate a little bit, but I guarantee you fucking feel great. You feel awesome, and you've probably been taking it. making some nasty, you know, big, nasty, stinky shits, too. Oh, yeah. The last week, right?

They've been green. It was freaking me out of the first couple times. They were fully green. Fully green. That's awesome. I mean, that's a huge change. So, much respectfully, you really did step up and make that change. You got the process going.

But I wanted to ask you, I'm glad that you guys brought me on. Now, what's next? How do we transition you into a sustainable lifestyle? That's, you know, you do the juicing. and then you keep juicing, but now it can't be every day, every meal, or you get nutrient deficient. So now what do we do to slowly build the healthy habits

to keep you marching in the direction that you're already going? To be honest, I'm kind of worried about it, but what I've thought about in my head and what I like to do is, because for my, I know for you guys, I'm always on the run, so I would like to keep juicing maybe just for breakfast or something, but I need to start either doing Weight Watchers or Doltier

or whatever, whatever it is, because I am worried that when I get off of it, it would be really way too easy to go back to what I was eating. So part of the reason why I'm doing this is because I'm worried that in the past, I haven't been able to control myself and not eat the bad stuff. Yeah, so now we're going to have to set up ways

to keep you accountable. But really, so in this phase, I call up the health and habit phase. When I start working with athletes, you know, I don't give a world title fight, fight, Fite, Anish, and Silva, Godzilla. You know, it doesn't really matter. first step is the health and habit phase. I don't give a shit about the weight cut. What we have to

do is we have to get in there. We have to kind of reprogram and change your outlook on food. You know, we kind of go through the house, we go through the kitchen, go through the refrigerator, Joey knows from the book, and we look at all the shit in your house. What's this? What's this? What's this? Fuck, that's poison. You look at the ingredients out. That's bad. You know, let's get rid of that shit. Let's replace it with all the good shit. And again, I got the whole grocery list in the books. It should make the swap out pretty easily. And then all the recipes, in there. That should, I mean, there's recipes for the fucking cavemen, and then there's recipes for Mr. Fancy Pants. You know, so everybody in between, there's recipes that you can make that

will keep you on track. And this is, I'm just speaking from experience, this is what I do. So we transition you off the juice diet, and we slowly start to put in, maybe it's the breakfast bowl. You know, now you've got some real food, you know, that you can start to make on your own, you get used to that process. Now you're setting up healthy habits. It's just one meal or day. You focus on for a couple days. You got that down. Now we'll look some sort of lunch, you know, maybe it's a quick grab and go sandwich. Maybe it's going to be more of like, you know, the sit down, you know, egg scramble, and we slowly just start to build your day from there. Again, we're in no rush. So you're in no rush. As long as you're pointed in the right direction,

you're moving forward, brother, that's what we do. I'm always here. I'm always available, but you can call me offline at any time to pick my brain and I can help dial in or point some recipes at you. That might be easy. But you want to get back on the to real food, sustainable living. That's the way. That's where you're going to see lifelong progress. But when you jump on and the Weight Watchers, I get it. I know it's good because I help you from breaking, but it's also not teaching you how to feed yourself. And that's what I try and do. I try and find sustainable ways to keep you in charge. I mean, you're the fucking boss. So you want to be in charge. You want to be in control. You want to make the right decisions. You want to, you know, have the healthy habits. You don't want to

rely on anybody else, not even me, to do it for you. So that's the next step. And once we can do that, you can fucking do anything. You can do it. You can go to single digit body fat. You can fucking decide to run a marathon one day. Maybe you want to do a double body with bench press. Whatever your goal is, we can get you there.

That's no problem. Once you develop those habits. Yeah. Thank you. But when you said that, that's probably my biggest thing. And I know it probably was the same for Joey when he was single and living by himself. if you had come into my house and said look at this look at this the only thing you would have would have found would have been Diet Coke and probably

snack food I almost I would probably keep nothing in my house and I know a lot of people who are around my age and single they do the same thing they just eat out every meal and that's that's why fast food is killing us Mike Dolce your next book you know Mike I don't know if you know this and I told you on the Rogan podcast that time that one thing I'm not anymore is a late eater ever since I left Jersey and I hate to be be that Jersey guy. Nowhere has the food Jersey has at night. You're in a Greek

diner. I'm a cheeseburger deluxe type of motherfucker with mozzarella on the French fries and a cream of turkey soup at a Greek diner all day long. If I lived in Jersey, I couldn't lie to you, Mike Doche. After comedy, that's what I do. Here in L.A., there's no food. For me, there's no food. I go home, and I get a piece

of fucking peanut butter, and I lick the fucking fort, whatever. I did not know. And Mike, I don't know if you know this about me when i came from cuba there was a kentucky fried chicken on 88 street and broadway across the street from where i lived that my mom would forbid me for meeting mcdonalds i was not allowed to eat mcdonalds so the only other time i ate fast food when i went when i went to miami around my cousins they ate mcdonalds so my mom beat it out of me not to eat fast food i don't know why mike i don't know fucking why she would always said that she cooked a lot

better than that shit. So it deterred me. I never ate fast food until Wendy's came to Jersey in 1983. I used to get, well, like I told Lee, my friend's girlfriend worked

at Burger King on Saturdays. They'd hook us up with free chicken sandwiches. And that's the first time, you know, Jersey, somebody's always hooking you up. And then Wendy's chicken sandwich.

Then I never ate fast food again when I went to Colorado or nothing like that. I don't like it. I didn't eat a quarter pound though. I was telling Lee the other day. I thought it was like 27 or 28.

And I told them, I want a quarter pounder every day of my life, and they put something in it. Your next book has to do with something to deter the youth for meeting this shit. And they don't understand it. Across the street from where I drive to meet Lee, there's a yum yum donuts across from the Taco Bell. And whenever I'm parked there, I look at the yum yum donuts, and I look at Taco Bell, and it's 7 to 1 ratio.

seven that's not even cops eating donut anymore because it's such a social unic sentence but when I look over a Taco Bell even if it's 11 in the morning you know there's seven cars and the fucking drive-thru yeah it's fucking it's disgusting

and what I do and what I try and tell people is when you go to a fast food place when you drive by one look at the people walking in and out no disrespect but ask yourself do I want to look like that Do they look like the type of people I'm striving to be?

You know, seven to one at the least, it's going to be, fuck, no, I'm going to turn around and run from that place. There's going to be a dozen different reasons why I should not be eating like that. Because look at the people that frequent fast food. Typically, that's what they eat. That's part of the normal diet. And you just look at how sickly, you know, how unhealthy, how weak, how frail they look, you know. You don't want any part of that. Man, it blows my mind.

anytime I'm sitting at a traffic light. You know, there's fast food plates on, you know, every corner that you go to. And it's fucking packed. They're fucking packed. And you see people in there smoking cigarettes while waiting for their fast food. And I tweeted not too long ago a couple weeks ago. I saw a fucking lady in the Taco Bell line with a car full of kids smoking cigarettes. She's in their puffing away.

Got the little kid, you know, two-year-old stuck in the back seat, you know, strapped it in the back, you know, the death chamber. And she's their puffing away. So these are the type of people that make these lifestyle decisions I don't want to have anything to do with people that think like that So I'm gonna stay the fuck away from fast food I'm gonna make it out my own and that that's typically what we suggest over here Anything that you can buy out you can make just like your mom Joey You can make so much better less expensive in your own home much more quality

I'm a fucking friccadale type of motherfucker do you know I'm hooked on fricendels I yeah hooked on fricadals with two eggs in there A couple of Italian breadcrumbs and some light fucking chop meat And you fry those motherfuckers up with that stuff that skillet stuff And you put a little marinar on the one that you have in your book The regular, oh my God, I'm a fucking fricadelle time I don't like bread on my hamburger Never have like you just eat a little bit of ketchup you fucking go out of it

With a salad one fricadale because it's one fricadale is high in fat But I tell you two of them with some fucking nice organic salad And I'll tell you what else This is the craziest thing I just remembered. I had a paper wrap. You know, like, you ever have a paper wrap, Mike No Change Jersey? I did, man. I started at nine years old.

Yeah, when I was about 12, I got a paper route. I never forget this. And they trained us. Like, they trained you to, you know, you had to go out with another guy, and you made, like, $2 that day. You made who got for the day. But at the end of the day,

when they trained us, and took it to White Castle. But it was out, like, in Ten of Flying, New Jersey, like 30 miles from my house, and I knew my mother wasn't watching. And I never forget, I had, like, three of those fucking, burgers and I had such a headache from the sodium, Mike Doche.

Oh, yeah. I had such a headache from it to have to go home and puke it out and I couldn't go out that night the next day and that was what deterred me. I didn't have a white castle again until I was doing blow and eating fucking ass and at that point who gives a fuck. You know what I'm saying? I'm out of the Union, New Jersey, but I still could never eat more than three of them. Till this day, I eat two of those little white castles and I'm fucking done.

I feel horrible about myself. It's like fucking robbing somebody. You feel terrible about yourself. It's just a... The fast food, that people don't... It's a culture thing, it's a society thing, but it's really, it's fucking marketing. You look at during the Olympics.

McDonald's and fucking Coca-Cola were the two major sponsors. Every time you turned on the TV, it made it seem like eating shitty food, eating poison, was good for you. Would put a smile on your face and would further possibly let you become Olympic champion. That's the message they were

trying to send, but it's poison. You look at the poison that they use to preserve these foods, the poison that they use to make these foods taste better, the poison that they use to make these foods you know, I can't, you know, say,

make us addicted, but many of the chemical compounds that they put into these foods have addictive qualities. So it's no reason we fucking crave this shit. We want to eat the shit all the time. Well, they're saying McDonald-Frize. They put the sugar. It's a high content. The rumor is that McDonald's fries have a high content of sugar.

That's why you get hooked on the fucking fries. I fucking believe it, man. I've read that before. I, God, there's so much, you know, every day you see a new, new ad, new report, new study about more bad shit found, you know, in fast food. Now there's horse meat showing up in front of, and donkey meat showing up somewhere now in fast food. It's basically, it's not what you thought it was. So why trust these motherfuckers that are picking your pocket to feed you well? They're fucking poisoning you.

So don't fucking trust them. Go home, make your own food. Go to the produce section. Go to the got forbid. Now here in the West Coast from the East Coast, everywhere you turn there's a fucking local butcher. Knows you, knows your mom, knows your grandma, knows your neighbor, is ready to just hook you up. It's a lot harder here on the West Coast. You know, we moved out in 2005.

It's hard to find a butcher. Some areas like Portland, they didn't even know what a fucking butcher was. found one good one down here in Vegas. Do you have any good ones up there in a... Yes, yes. You go to Gelsons and they have a good butcher department over there. Even at Rouse,

if you become buddies with a butcher, there's a good butcher in Hollywood, at the Rock and World Rouse, the big black guy, he's tremendous. He's been there since Jesus left fucking Chicago, and he's fucking great. You go in there and tell him what you want, he'll find it for you. There's some guys who really care. As far as independent

butcher's out here, listen, you got a better chance of finding a fucking, you know, there's nothing like that. Let me ask you this. Here's the other thing that a lot of people don't know. When these fucking suckers go to Vegas and they see that steak and eggs for a dollar 99, tell them what they're eating, Mike Doche. You might

as well suck a black dick and lick the balls. You'll be healthier. Exactly. You'd be better up on the fucking strip in the gutter, picking fucking trash. That's mafia meat. They eat that bullshit. Now, you think about it, you do the man.

What the fuck kind of quality you're get for $1.99 prime rib dinner that they try and sell. It's going to be fucking old. It's going to be stale. It's going to be disgusting. It's all fat anyway. It's heavily preserved so it doesn't fucking go bad so it doesn't fucking come out

moldy sitting on your plate. Who knows how it's been handled? Shit like that, the lower the price, the lower the care from the staff. People don't give a fuck. How's his handle? How's the hygiene behind it when it finally does make it way to your plate? It has extra salt. It has extra sugar. It

a ton of really bad fat fucking, you know, planted on this food. So for the few minutes of flavor that you get, you're going to get days of digestive distress. You're going to get all sorts of water retention. Your bottle's going to be, body's going to be battling to get rid of these fucking chemicals that got dumped in your system just because you're trying to save a couple bucks. Where you can go out, you can get a really, you know, a wild-caught, you know, natural fed, you know, organic piece of meat for a couple dollars. You don't need to eat a fucking 16-ounce steak.

An 8-ounce steak will do you just as well. It's going to have more protein than your body can fucking break down. And it's only going to cost a couple dollars if you select it right. Make buddies with your butcher and get hooked up. That's the way to do it. You fucking butcher the extra five bucks. Don't give it to some scumbag company that's trying to screw you over. Mike Don't you.

A lot of people don't know is Paul Costellano, the boss of the fucking Gambinos, before John Gotti was a butcher. and one of his biggest scams because he was in charge of a few unions was sending the meat to Vegas so as soon as shop right and all the chains by us in the East Coast the meat got bad they unwrapped the meat

they dip it in this fucking meat preservative that no matter how brown the meat looks it goes back to looking pink and they would send it to Vegas sell it and you're absolutely right all that you would get was like a little diarrhea for two or three days

and your body would, but people don't really complain about it, so they don't give a fuck, so. And they just write it off to being in Vegas, you're getting fucked up, or I don't know, it's Vegas, they're supposed to feel sick in Vegas. You're just poisoning yourself. What days does your podcast go up? They go up on Mondays and Thursdays right now, and we're still, you know, getting the routine down. We're probably going to go to three days a week here pretty soon. You know, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, might work out well.

And remember, let these people. know, don't make the mistake I did. When he kept talking about this podcast, I'm like, where the fuck is it? It's under health and fitness. I kept looking for comedy, and I'm like, what the fuck? It's not in the top 200 yet? This is Mike Dulce.

I'm not a fucking comic. You know what I mean? I certainly can't hang with you guys. No, but you're doing number 10 on health and whatever, so you're doing something right, Mike. Well, I appreciate that. We debuted at number two behind Julian Michaels, just thanks to, you know, that listens, which is fucking awesome. And then we'll bounce.

When we come out with an episode, we'll get to the top five, and then we'll kind of float down, you know, the higher end of the top tens and whatnot. It's totally, you know, listener-based. You know, it's a lot of Q&A like I do on Sunday on Twitter. I fucking blow up everyone's Twitter stream with my Q&A trying to answer everyone's questions. And we extended that with the Mike Dolce show.

So now we do lots of, you know, a lot of your questions. I kind of get long-winded on my fucking answers. I go sideways. I go all the way back around. and I just try and share information. So hopefully you leave the show every day with one thing, one tip, one tool, one recipe, one piece of motivation, one insight, one new exercise. Just leave the show with one thing a day that you can implement.

That's our goal. I love you, Mike Doche. Thank you for calling on making my man Lee Syed's Day. This is a treat for Lee. I could see he's happy. And Mike, you're a bad motherfucker. I'll see you in Jersey for damn sure. You're going to be there for China?

I will be there. We're doing a show the night before. Oh, my man. So I'll be in Jersey. I'm going to go to Chance dragging in, get a few fucking egg rolls. The whole thing. I'll take you to get the best Chinese food in New Jersey, Doug.

Dude, we might have to get to fucking pork roll and cheeses in the morning. Oh, you know, I'm not a pork roll. You know, when I moved to Colorado, my roommate used to get the Virginia ham sent out. And he would make Virginia ham an egg on fucking hard roll. I didn't like Virginia ham that much. I am a fucking egg and cheese on a on a seated roll though That's that's my fucking world

You know what I'm from Jersey Who the fuck you think you're dealing with? So you come out to Vegas anytime soon No no no no You know I'm headed to New Orleans To shoot that De Niro movie next week So I'll be down there for a while And then I go to Sacramento

But I will be in Jersey with you motherfuckers On the 26th I ain't missing it for the world So there's going to be a new world champion everybody you better hear it. He's on the dock side. He looks good, son, and he's walking around. He's looking fucking big. You got him eating those breakfast bowls in that Superfly chicken salad and shit. He's getting all yoked and shit, so.

Dude, eating has never been a problem for Mr. Son, and I'm just glad that he's allowed to be his natural size anymore. You know, instead of keeping him, you know, held back at your 185. He's a big motherfucker. Yeah, he is a big, strong dude. You know, and a great team around him. I've got coach Jamie Huey. I know he's a big fan. Oh, I love Jamie Hew. I love Jamie Huey. He's a good dude. We fuck around on Twitter and stuff, so.

Jamie's a man. Clayton, High, Scott Macquarie, Vinnie Magales, you know, that team's on, and we're coming strong. We're very serious here. But we got Johnny Hendrix coming up soon. So Johnny's there fighting a co-main event, first Carlos Condit, and Nick Diaz doesn't keep fucking up, man. He better look at it. I'm going to step right in that world title fight three weeks from now. So Johnny's ready. He's training fucking training his ass off. He's been training for 5-5 since his fight with Ellenberger,

set knowing what he said is walk the way to fragile bro they all drop out i'm ready to fight for that fucking title so that's the mind that this motherfucking psychopath has so he he's ready to roll i'm excited to see johnny out there do it again well man i will see you in jersey i love you good luck to hendricks and everybody around you my man mike doche you're a fucking savage and a gentleman and i'm happy i could always count on you to fucking call in and drop heavy-duty knowledge on these cuckuckers now it's certainly my pleasure joey love you brother Love you're doing. Love what you're doing, man. You got it, my man. Stay black. Have a great weekend.

There you go, Lisa. Who fucking takes care of you like me? No one. That was great. I got a hot black chick farting in your face. I got Mike Doche calling. What the fuck, guy? I'm like an everyday Christmas with you, Lee. You don't even celebrate Christmas, Jew Cox sucker. I love you guys. This is why we do this shit. The church of what's happening now. I got stone there for a second.

For a second. For a second. You got to watch my back. You know what I'm saying? I'll pay more time. You leave me out here like, you know, an A meeting. You're going to watch Uncle Joey.

I'm getting old. No, you're not. You're fine. You're going to hit 85. No problem. I'm going to hit 100 fucking 5. Oh, shit. I got cocaine in that fucking heart

that's still ticking like a savage. I can't, you know, I get a lot of fucking addiction emails, man. And I'm very excited. That's the one thing that I'm going to talk about in this testicle Testament how much it was in my blood that cocaine.

Like how much it was in my fucking blood. Like I remember waking up under a rocket ship in a park. Like I was in a rocket ship. You know, it was a little kid's rocket ships on the second floor. I was like, how stone were you?

Okay, I got it. I fucking coke rocks in my nose. You know, like I was to a different level with this shit. I think about six, seven years ago, I would go out and do a set and I would run home, it would be burning a hole in my pocket.

And one thing I got about the, you know, one thing I got to have a friend right now that's going through it, not cocaine, she goes through the addiction. I could see she has one problem, the main problem I had was accountability. Yeah. You could never plan tomorrow.

Like I would never plan tomorrow unless I had an audition or something like that or an important meeting. Everybody else would get put on hold. Everything else in my life got put on hold. It all depended how I felt in the morning. You know, if I woke up hungover, but I had 50 bucks left over

so I'd get a gram of Coke that night. I'd be in a fucking great boot and I'd do anything, you know? But if I woke up and I was light on paper, all day long, I'd be thinking about how I was going to put that 50 together. Yeah, that fucking grandma blow that night. You're always preoccupied.

You're always somewhere else, you know. So sometimes I sit here and I can't believe how lucky, you know, I am that I didn't have that. And I get emails, people who are beating this shit on a daily basis, man. People are beating a fucking addiction fucking game. Just listening to, and you're right, Lee, you know, that's what makes me, when somebody emails me and says, hey, man, I stop doing oxies after manning up and listening to your show.

Because it's true. You know, what the fuck's a rehab going to do for your rehab? Just going to make you feel bad about it. And I suggest you go to one to slow you down. Or if you go to a farm. Like if you live in Virginia or something like that, and you're fucking doing blow every fucking day, but you got a cousin in Texas. I go to Texas just to change the scenery.

and hopefully after five or six days and the Coke wears out, you come to your senses, you grip yourself again. That's the hope. Or in those five or six days that you don't do it, you put yourself into perspective. And even if you can't stop, you cut a deal with yourself. You say, you know what, from now on, I'm going to snore an eight ball, but just on Friday nights after I do my work.

And once, you know, I had a friend in Jersey that, he told me one day. He was way older than me. By now he's got to be 60. He told me one day. He goes, 30 years ago I came to my sense. as I knew I was a junkie. I just learned how to do it and live my life. I do it on Fridays and Saturdays now.

He goes, I snort all fucking weekend. But during the week, I do my business, you know? And I looked at it like, he's a junkie that came to terms of this fucking life. You know, sometimes you got to come to terms of what's in front of you. So that's one thing I have accountability. You know, I could get up at 445 to come over here and do this. You think if I was doing blah, I could do this fucking podcast or six and one? I'd just be going to fucking bed.

I come over here all jazzed up. I wouldn't leave the house. I wouldn't fucking get my car and drive over here. I'd be too fucking paranoid, too coked up, you know. So the addiction game, man, it takes you for a little while. But trust me, you can fucking beat this thing. You can beat and you beat it when you least expect it. You don't need a rehab.

You need to be around good friends and just to write and have faith and see your writing. Sometimes when you see your writing and you read your writing, it's your life from a different perspective. So you read your life off a... paper, it's completely different. When I read about the kidnapping to Kent Vela, it's completely different than when I say it to

and I joke around. It's real on fucking paper. There's no jokes on that fucking paper. I eliminate the funny adjectives and adverbs and shit. It's pretty plain, you know? And that's a lot of fucking people don't understand when you write something out. When you write, when I say to you, I'm a fucking junkie. I can't

stop getting high and sucking cock. You know, that's completely different than me writing it down and fucking read it. When you read that Joey Deers can't stop snorting Coke. You're like, wow. So the power of the pen is always important if you're trying to get off that blow or whatever the fuck you're on. Just give it a shot, man, so they can be your lucky

motherfucking day. Where's that Led Zeppelper? You're talking about. I don't know. You're slipping. I must be slip on. I'm sorry. Oh shit. It's Wednesday. Get it. Hit it. Oh shit. You motherfuckeruck. You thought I forgot. It was Black History Month. What?

Papa, no. This Lexxappell. It's Black Mystery, brother. Talking about love. Wiggily. Ooh, do it, yeah. You bad motherfucking. Oh, shit, Lee. Pop the laws. Oh, shit. You got plans today, Lee?

What are you going to do today? I got to find out if I'm working, and then I'm going to do, if I, hopefully I'm not working. Are you doing technical testaments? Well, yeah. Well, I'm doing that, but I would normally go to work after, so hopefully I don't have to do that. Have you been hitting this gym a little bit?

No, you're too busy. I'm trying, man. You got to fucking do a few jumping jacks. You've been stretching. At least for your Uncle Joey? Not really. What the fuck? You've been wiping your ass

because that's mathematically impossible. You can't just... No, I can do it. Just you turning. That's a good twist. You got to like, you gotta propel yourself to wipe your ass. You gotta give yourself like...

No, when I was... When I was living, it used to be hard. Yeah, there were some days and it's embarrassing, but there were some days where I'd like stand up or do it because you can't do it on the toilet. But now, now luckily I can.

You can stretch that arm around like fucking Captain Fantastic and wipe that little muffler. It's a little victory every day. You don't forget to wipe and you have to walk around with a little fucking dirty ass and stings all day. I've had dirty ass, but I've never forgotten

to wipe. You walk into a fucking restaurant at your ass on stagin at the time of fire. You think the hemorrhoids burning you? And you go to the bathroom, you wipe in a clunk of fucking green, fucking juice shit comes out of your little muffling. You're like, what the fuck? How do I forget to wipe? Sometimes it happens. Not recently, but in the city, that's the worst. And you have to

walk around all day when you get back, you can barely walk. Oh, fuck it. I'll take a bag out of the back seat and wipe my ass right there in public. I don't give a fucking. My ass was on I'm wiping that fucking muffling. There's nothing like walking around when you got fucking fire assholes. That's the worst. And I just realized something.

You talk to your friends in the morning, right? Back east. I thought to two of them this morning. I think that's a reason why you're so happy in the mornings. I just realized it because talking to you, I'm always happier when we do the podcast and when I, like, talking to, I don't always talk to the guests, but talking to Dolce, I think that's a big part of it. I know talking to your friends, having good conversations. Because I know for a lot of people, like for me, I could wait.

up and not talk to anyone until I get to work. This morning I talked to George on the drive, and I talk to my brother Mike Runny on the drive. Yeah. And I do that every fucking day. I talk to... I have a rotation of probably seven people that I talk to in the morning when I wake up.

When I wake up, before I call you at five, I tell you I already got a call from them. Yeah. I haven't heard from you in two days. Where you've been? What's going on? We got our second call. Oh, shit. What's happening, brother?

Joey Diaz What's up, my little friend What's up, buddy? I'm so fucking happy you call What's going on in your world? Off to school And now I'm driving home That's it, that's your day

Now you got, first of all, before we get going Ethan Supley's on the line My main fucking man What's going on? You got knee surgery? Yeah, I told my men Niscus for a rowing up So you still row?

Well, I haven't since the hair of my knee, but I'll hopefully will go again. You're a fucking savage. How long ago did you do the meniscus surgery? Friday, last Friday. Oh, so you're back to you. You know, I did it last year at this time. I did it last February 7th. And I thought...

What was your recovery time? Let me tell you what happened with me. I went to the, you know, SAG sends you to the dude where you do stretches and shit like that. And I rode the bike every day. I mean, I had a surgery on Tuesday. And by Thursday I was on the bicycle already. Oh, wow, okay. Yeah, so, and I had the arthritis and the cysts in there and the whole fucking thing.

And then, you know, I worked really hard for the first month. Everything was fine. And I went to Miami and I did different exercises. And I pulled the muscle behind the knee because it's really sensitive still. And that was a fucking nightmare, Ethan. The legs swole up and they thought it was a blood clot. So I had to go for blood tests two days in the row. and so just push it but be careful.

You know, it's one of those things. Like, do it and then go, you know what? I can do another hour, but I'm not. Right. So just be really careful. And beside that, what else is going on in your life right now? Okay. And I'm back here.

It's pilot using a fucking nightmare. I constantly trying to talk. My agent's out of making me try to do a pilot. Okay. And what about Jiu-Jitsu? When was the last time you've been? rolling? Oh, I was rolling. I was going to see Eddie Bravo

over there in Burbank about middle of last year, just before the summer, and then I had to leave to do movies out of town. And I didn't roll at all in New York, and then I hurt my knee while I was out in New York, and I haven't been doing much of anything.

You're a fucking funny dude, Ethan. You know, I love you at all my heart. When I see you on Twitter, fucking around, you write some fucking, a laugh, Your stuff on that man Well, I gotta say I love waking up to you. You're the only other person awake early in the morning and you always start my day out well You know Ethan I do this because even like you know you have daughters and I just have an eight white week old So that's why I've been thinking a lot about you lately because I know how you manage

Family and careers and working out and I got to take my hat off to you you're a fucking Soldier and it's funny when you turn the news on in the morning when you're dressing your kids or I get up early and I talk to my wife, and we make coffee, and we eat oatmeal, and, you know, you listen to the news. And Ethan, what do they talk about? The fucking gym teacher that raped the kid, the guy that shot four people, the fire in Riverside, you know, you open up, you're listening to this shit subconsciously. This is what you're listening to subconsciously. And then at 10 to 7, they tell you one good story about some fucking kid with an arrow in his head

who plays the drums in the school band now, who can't look, you know, and you're sitting there going, now you start crying. that time it's too late. You got the fucking syringe ready to shoot some fucking heroin. And so when I wake up in the morning after everything, like, I've been through nothing in my life, but I know what I could have ended up. You know what I'm saying? Like I know I could have ended up in prison. So when I wake up the last 10 years, it's a fucking beautiful day to be alive. What the fuck is wrong with America, Ethan? Everybody's depressed and this. It's up your fucking living. You're in America. I was watching that thing yesterday in Syria.

kids are living in fucking prisons from all the bombing. And these little pussies here are worried about, you know, dehydrating on their fucking skateboard. It's two different contrast. So when I get up early in the morning, I want to play the music that's in my head.

I don't give a fuck if it's Metallica or it's the carpenters. Just so people could get up and go, this motherfucker's happy. He's a fat fuck. He looks like Fred Flintstone. He's a loser. If he's happy, I got to be fucking happy, you know?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, you're right. How fucking lucky are we what we do here in California? Think about it. People getting up in Kansas right now shoveling for an hour and then driving their kids to school or there ain't no fucking school. You're in your car right now, doing 35 with a coffee in your hand,

the sun's out, the birds are chirping. Am I lying to you? No. Except I quit drinking coffee. That's another point of contention for me. I was thinking about taking it back up today. Why, what happened? How long have you been off the coffee? Like a week and a half.

No reason, really, other than just trying to quit dairy. Dary's, I just tried to give up. You know, my life is a constant revolving door and vices I give up, and dairy is the latest one. How about green tea? He sucks, basically. You know, I even drink the green tea, and I hate everything. I hate everything. It's the worst. It sucks.

It's a total waste of time. It's, you know what, and when I go to those coffee shops now, instead of drinking a fucking latte or something that's going to put 10 pounds on me, I just get the green tea and I put that cancer sugar in it, and I take my chances. Right, over the amount or something? What am I going to do? What are you going to do at this point in a fucking game? I'm 50 years old.

What am I going to do, a little brother? Yeah, but I've got, I've now got five green tea bags and one cup of hot water trying to get some kind of feeling from the same. so I'm basically drinking green sludge Oh you like it hot You're right You're absolutely right I mean you know

The kids in Syria don't even have green tea So they're fucking They're halfway to miserable They're all the way there Did you see that report last night On Diane Sawyer? I didn't fucking know that shit That those kids are over there

Hiding in prisons It's zero degrees at night They're living with no heat You know I mean It's time to stop And see the things we got Fucking Ethan Hawks

So what's going on on? What do you got coming out? What do you got, whatever? What's coming out? Talk to me. Tell me something good. I just did three movies in a row. I was out of town for like six months. I did a movie in Canada called Split Decision, but they say the title's going to change, so I have no idea what that one's going to be called. And then I did a movie with Martin Scorsese called The Wolf of Wall Street, which says. is going to be awesome. And then I did one called Walk of Shame, which is a comedy.

And I basically just got back to L.A. And hadn't been able to get my knee fixed the whole time that I was gone, so I got my knee fixed and hopefully I'll be back in the gym soon enough. Well, brother, as soon as you go back to the gym, please

hit me up on Twitter so I can meet you and give you a hug and you can tell me. Yeah, I mean, I don't know that I'm going to be immediately back in 10th planet rolling, but, you know, I got to build up some strength again in that leg. No, but if you tell me that place you go, the CrossFit, I'll meet you there for a quick workout one day. I love to see you, right?

I think I got, I think I'm not going to be back there immediately. I mean, fucking CrossFit, I was doing heavy, like, squats with a lot of weights and all this crazy shit, and I think before I do that, I think we'll just meet at a normal gym and sit on an exercise bike for a while. That's perfect, though. Just let me know when and where, and I'll be there to meet you, man. I'm happy you took the chance and gave us a call today. You know, I love you, Ethan.

I wish I'd see you a lot more, you know? I love you, too, Jerry, Aes. Thank you, brother, for calling and have a great day and stay black. All right, buddy, I love you, too. Talk, you too, love you too. Be good. Wow, I actually sat next to him at the Angelo Bauer's benefit and the left factor I sat next to him, and I was looking at his IMDB.

The first place I saw him was Boy Meets World. He was in American history. Fucking Blow The Butterfly effect Remember the Titans Road trip He was great

Remember the Titans Oh yeah Fuck yeah He was great road trip Yeah If I tell you something Guys You're all gonna hate me

Why I'll tell you what movie I'm gonna go see Friday morning First thing when I get up Oh Jesus 21 and over No you're not

Yes I am That looks like the biggest sack of shit Oh that little Chinese kid Cracks my shit Up Jack That's the first thing I'm doing Friday morning

I'll go see you with you Okay 11 like 35 I'm getting stoned. I'm eating edible. And I'm going to see fucking 21 and over just to see him fucking do the robot. Just to see him get drunk.

Talk, I'm an asshole. All right. Well, you know, you'll be the line to tell you all, no, I'm not going to go see that. That's the type of huge, bro, I'm a big fucking stupid kid. We all are.

You know, we fucking all are. So I'm going to go do that this weekend. I'm going to Brayor improv this weekend, Thursday through Saturday. Tickets go down there. I think there's some tickets left. Tonight we're at Testicle. Testimus Lee Syatt will be down there with me to flying Jew

Brown paper tickets tickets are going fast in New Orleans don't come crying to me Joey we didn't fucking know Da da da da da da da da da da da there's only 80 tickets a fucking show don't come crying to me I don't we told me the other first show's got like eight left or something like that so get your shit together On it I love you you even heard fucking Mike Doche people get off the fucking shit go to on it order the three pack put church in the box put church in the box put church in the box commit motherfuckers, you're part of the church of what's happening now? What's the second one? Put the second piece of Warriors.

What does he say? I got it. Can you dig it? Can you dig it? Can you dig it? Are you fucking kidding me? Leave that blaster. That's the church of what's happening now. That's what you motherfuckers are doing at home right now. Jumping up and down, make it with a knife

in your fucking hand. Ready to go, keep fucking cheering. Ready to go out there. Put it on and get it and shit. Ready to go out there and stab, There's an asshole out there wait for you. Go out there live your fucking dream you crazy motherfuckers listen to this black guy. This is you. Can you dig it? Are you kidding? Joey Diaz. Not net. Are you fucking kidding me? Have a great day. God bless you motherfuckers. Go out there and telling who the boss is. We'll be back either Sunday, Monday and Tuesday or Sunday and Monday. We haven't decided yet. But we'll be back. Thank you very much for listen to you. Thank you to Mike Dolce. Thank you to

Ethan Supley. Thank you to fucking Omit. Thank you to my man fucking Lee Syatt, you bad, motherfucker. What more? We could juice in Coxuck. No, I got more. I got, I'm trying to go through 60 days. You'll take a naked picture of yourself? Do you tell Rose, that wait until you give a cock this time, it's going to be all over? The cock you're slinging is tremendous. Have you whacked off you? Oh, it's kind of... What comes out? It's fucking crazy, Louie. But I feel like my libido It's way up

Like I feel like horny and more often Yeah yeah yeah yeah You can't rub your helmet on the face No I'm not gonna rub my helmet on someone's face Why not? Just a little cheek right there You'll be bailing me out You'll be bailing me out A little foot was not I would have fucking whacked off on the foot

You ever went off on a chick's foot No You'll know what you're missing, cock suck I love you guys Stay black, have a great weekend All right Don't forget the U.S.E live from Japan On fucking Sundays

Oh shit on that Brian's standing Nobody fucking knows It's on fuel feels like the Witness Relocation channel. What the fuck it is? I love you guys. Have a great week. Stay Black.

The church is happening now. Subscribe, motherfuckers. Hit me with something. Little Led Zeppelin. Yeah, you want to finish that? Yeah. Finish that up, brother. Oh shit.

Underneath the hood. Hit it. Jill Hemutsu, who loves you, Coxucker. My NB girl, who loves you, cocksucker. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.