The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #025 - UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT

Episode Date: December 28, 2020

Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint.... Today, we set the record straight on a few things..... This episode is brought to you by DraftKings & CBD Lion...... Go to https://www.draftkings.com and enter Code: JOEY Go to https://www.cbdlion.com and enter Code: JOEY or CHURCH And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint

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Monday to 28th of December. Ready for another fun-filled week. Happy belated Christmas to you. If I didn't see you, happy belated Christmas to your families. I hope you guys did great. It was what it was. I had a great time.

I really did, man. L.A. Christmas. In L.A., you know, everybody, the last day of civilization in L.A. is usually that Friday before Christmas. So this year would have been the 18th. The day of my original surgery. And it's so funny that, you know, people have a half day and right from the fucking office, they go right to the airport, they disappear. And the whole Christmas spirit disappears from L.A. You know, like there's no Christmas spirit.

There's nothing. Yeah, there's some kids. Nobody sings in front of your house. Nobody does nothing. Now, the development type of guy that sang in front of houses, get the fuck out of here. I didn't sing in front of a house. I never wanted none of that. But when you have a family, you know, things change and you're looking for different things. This is one of the best Christmases I had in years. I mean, it really did. What is it? We're here Monday, the 28th, Christmas basically started. on Wednesday for us. It started a Friday before, you know. People had little outdoor gatherings with eaters and hot cocoa and fucking cakes and shit like that. God knows all that way. I did take good care of myself. There was four places I went to the day, four parties that had pizza and I didn't need a slice at all four of them. So how's that if you had one slice of pizza this week.

So I'm trying. You know what I'm saying? you gotta fuck it if not this place will kill you you know how many fucking people knocked on this door to give us cookies and shit like that Italian plate because half the neighbors from

Staten Island, the best the best. So they knocked on the door with cookies and stuff every night. Look at it was just it was everything I wanted to be. It was everything I wanted for my daughter to be. It was everything I wanted for my wife to see.

I knew that there was life outside LA and I'm fucking ecstatic that it all went down. We went out for Christmas night. We went to a friend's very low key. They sang Christmas songs. I think we were home by 930, 10, got fucked up, drank a bottle of coquito last week, some Cuban egg dog. You know, you got to do what you got to do. But I'm back. I'm back on the fucking program now. I worked out for days a week, so it was no big deal. I still lifted yesterday, Saturday, and I just left there this morning. So we're back.

We're already rolling the carpet for the beginning of the year. That's it. As far as I'm concerned, 2020 is behind me. 2021 is the major concern. We got the movie coming out. We got stand-up coming back, you know, whether it comes back with a vaccine or not. I'll be back doing outdoor gigs in April. like a motherfucker.

I've got Uncle Vinnie's the fifth and the sixth and I got the surgery on the 8th, say 10, 20 days after that, I'm back on stage, working new material. And we're going after it. With or without the COVID? I'm going on stage with COVID.

I put like a fucking stick man and give him COVID and we'll go on stage together like a two-man theme. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? You're going to stay in your house and hide because of fucking COVID? another year you can't do it i understand for people who are going to be working from home or not

but there's ways to tighten up your game you already did in nine months of it it's getting old so maybe set up a schedule do an hour get up go for a walk do another hour get up call you make some calls you know now well now you're getting better at it don't expect that now corporations and businesses aren't seeing this and saying you know what we go from a fucking 8000 month nut to 2000 a month and just give assignments out the world's going to change the job market's going to change everything is going to change which is good we would do for a fucking change things are getting a little fucking boring with the fucking uh the same shit all the time you know and it's good people who were burnt out doing old jobs and now doing new fucking jobs you know i was burnt out

on fucking stand-up i'm very happy now that I got to go down there once a week and do it. Do you think I want to go back to two shows a week every other week with a fucking theater and planes and shit? I'm not ready for that right now. I feel funny again. I feel happy again. My family's good. Mike's good.

We're running smooth. Smoking fucking tremendous Rifa. The Patreon's going great. So I got no regrets. I did my time and I'm ready to go. We got a subject to talk about this week, which was very interesting. how it fell on my lap and I wrestled with it for a few days before I wanted to bring it to podcast because I'm not here to cause me problems. I'm just telling you how what evolution of a bad

situation came out and basically he was the first comic that got canceled throughout this whole thing and he basically canceled himself. You know last week we were talking about Tom Cruise how he went off on his job and people didn't like it and some people criticize him a motherfucker likes me a motherfucker like me who is a fan of Tom Cruise

whatever his religious preferences I don't give a fuck if he's a Scientologist what are you going to do if the guy's waiting for Martians that's his business that's what he does on Sundays you know what I'm saying who gives the fuck you know what I do on Sundays I go to church and try to not get hypnotized by the fucking pedophile smoke.

You sit there and you hold onto your bread. So everybody's got their own trials and tribulations on a Sunday. You know what I'm saying? You know, he went off about COVID and the movie and, you know, social distancing. Some people took offense to it. And I loved it because most people did take offense to it, especially the people in L.A.,

especially the five people that quit that job. Now, I'm not saying, saying that, you know, I have stuck up for myself in those situations. I have stuck up for myself when I've been right and a director or a producer has been wrong and yelled at me. I could tell you, if you look at my IMD, Joey Dears, I've been on a thousand fucking projects. And I think I may have Let's just sum it up to three where I had problems on a project. Let's just sum it up to three, you know. The one commercial I did for Arby's where the director was just being an asshole.

American gun. I think that I was being an asshole and so were they and I got the brunt of it. That's what happens. Shit falls downhill. and the longest yard, I was a shit towards the end. You know, baseball, I robbed them blind from their fucking roller skates. Fuck them, they're still on TV, South Park. They got more roller skates than the roller skate company.

So I'm not worried about them. But pretty much, you know, with comedy and stuff, I was always trying to be a gentleman. I always tried to encourage other people. You know, I see somebody on stage. doing a great joke, bro. I'll go up to him afterwards and say, hey, man, that made me laugh,

you know, whatever. I'm not going to go up to you and tell you a bad joke. It's a good joke. I'm not fake. That's not what I do either. I'm not going to sit in the back and go, ah! You know, those fake comic laughs to let you know that.

I laugh if it's fucking funny. But there's people who get insulted if you say things to them. They take it the wrong fucking way. And I've apologized to people, because people have said, you kind of said it the wrong way. No, I said it the right way. You just took it the wrong way

because you're a fucking pussy and you don't want to fucking accept it and you don't want to, you know, somebody to call you to fuck out. Well, for me to tell you this story, I got to tell you this story in the beginning and in chunks and we're going to take it from there.

I got a call about 10 days ago from a friend of mine and he was saying that John Caparulo had just worked the club, you know, about a month earlier, three months earlier. And he was bitching and complaining and saying negative shit about the store.

Fuck all of us guys. It's going to be a parking lot anyway that they're going to knock it down. And, you know, I feel bad for him. When I heard, and there was more stuff, but who gives the fuck? When I heard the stuff, he said, I took a minute, I hung up the phone, and I got to be honest with you. I didn't feel good about what had happened because what Caparillo was really mad about

was that he wasn't put in a documentary and he wasn't considered a piece of the church family. And I'm here to tell you, and this is nobody's fault, and I'm not blaming anybody or anything. Caparillo should have been in it, but because his behavior, he wasn't put in it. So let's start on what he did, why he shouldn't be in there and how this all went down. I knew Caparillo since day one. He was a sweetheart of a kid, very quiet, very introverted. One day, like everybody else at that comedy store from Hazel's Trail, to Carmen Morales to all the people, people after a while you start to see him. The girl that made it to Saturday Night Live, uh, you start to see them. And after three, six, nine months, they start to get a little confidence.

They've been around comics. They've, they've gotten to go up on stage a few times. You know, it's, it's an easier place. Uh, you know, one night you'll walk him and, and you'll see them on stage hosting and you're like, fuck. And Caparillo was a funny fucking guy. You know, he was younger than me. He was there with Bobby Lee and all those guys. And I got to tell you, they were having a great time. And because they were having a great time, they were making me have a great time. And I still remember one night, Caparillo was a doorman. And he asked me for advice. He asked me about how you get more spots. And Duncan Truzzle was the, uh, A talent coordinated and Duncan was walking through the building.

I called them over. I go, Duncan, come here for a second. Talk to John. He wants to know how to get more spots and we're like, I don't know if you know this. You're going to pay for your spots. And he's like, well, what are you got to pay? He's like, that's absurd.

That's exactly what I get. What are you going to do, John? You got to pay. You want three spots. It's $45 a week. I'm here to collect every Friday for Duncan. And me and Duncan are laughing. He's like, that's absurd.

And we're like, we're fucking with you, John. I mean, that's how long we know John, okay? Sweetheart of a kid, never had a problem. Knew him when he was dating girls. Still a great guy. And then what happens when you stick with something? Success finally happens. And he started getting a little successful.

You know, he started, I think he went to Montreal. and he got watched up there. You know, from being at the store, his actor was fucking tremendous. And he got a deal from Fox. And I still remember him coming in and saying that Fox gave him a box of shirts, T-shirts,

because, you know, John used to wear white T-shirts and stuff all the time. And listen, at that time, was 2000 something, I had already learned as a comic and as a human being that you couldn't be jealous. You have to be happy for the people in your circle, especially at the store, because when one person moves up the notch, that means you're going to move up the notch. So I was happy for him, but I noticed something else over the following couple weeks, John Caparulo's head started to get big, little things, how he parked the car, he quit his doorman job,

he was walking around, you know, saying little things. He was still a happy-go-lucky John, but you could see that the deal had changed him a little bit. It didn't affect me. I still loved him for everything that he was. He was funny as fuck, you know. And this went on for a while, you know, and it was great. And Bob and John and all of us, and John's getting deals. And then he did something for Comedy Central.

And I saw him one day. And it was a different side of John. He was very upset. His face was red. And he was mad because he wanted to give the check back to Comedy Central. He didn't think the special was good enough. And that's the first time I noticed that there might be a problem with this guy. I'm like, he's back here cursing.

You know, you got a guy like me that can't get a fucking special. I'm so bad. And he's got to say, special and he's back here yelling and screaming how he wants to give the bunny back and blah blah blah blah in the meantime rogan's catching momentum rogan's a powerhouse and fear factor you know you can't deny it that he's bringing in most of the people on Fridays and Saturday nights into the club well that's you know gets a little couple people pissed off not to mention, they would give him a half hour. Since some many people were coming in to see him,

they would give him from 11 to 1130, they would put me up from a quarter to 11 to 11, and Ari from 1030 to a quarter to 11. So we basically jacked the fucking original room lineup from whatever per Rogan. Rogan was like, you're going in front of me, Ari goes in front of him, everybody else has to suck your dick. That's great. But when you do that, again, you create tensions. And people, there was little whisperings. They wouldn't say it to me.

They know better to say it to me. But there was little whisperings. You know, you heard little whisperings going around. At that time, I was deep into my addiction. So I didn't really give a fuck. You could suck my dick anyway. So this went on. And then, again,

you're going to have to fact check me on dates on this. Maxim did the Men of Comedy Tour with Charlie Murphy and Joe Rogan and John Heffron. And while they were on the road, I would still call in for spots down to the store. This has to be 2006, guys. The beginning of 2007, maybe 2005, maybe no, 2006, 2007, because I was still doing Coke. I'm up there one night. I'm about ready to go up. I'm not going up at no 10.45.

Joe wasn't that to take care of me. I was at like an 11.30 spot, maybe 1145. And John and Tommy come up to me and they're like, hey man, and John had a hat on. He had like his chest out. Okay. And I'm not, listen, I was deep into the addiction. I was deep into it.

What was going out of my world, my world was getting really dark. And, you know, something had to be done eventually. And I looked at these two guys and they're like, when your daddy comes back, things are gonna change and I'm like, whoa, whoa, what are you talking about guys? And they're like, when Joe Rogan comes back,

it's not gonna be how it is. And I go, well, listen, I don't even know why you're telling me this for. What the fuck are you telling me this for? Tell him. What are you telling me this shit for? And they said a bunch of other shit. I did my spot.

I went home. And it wasn't until I got home. And I were like, those guys just did a declaration of fucking war on me. Like, I didn't pick it up at the time. You ever get into an argument or something. And you don't really know what happened until after it happened, you get in the car and you drive away. That's why I felt.

I was like, just declared war on me. They didn't even know. If I hadn't had three bumps in me already and I was in a scared junkie, I'd probably put a gun down there and fight them both. But I said, you know what? I'll give them breathing. Who the fuck am I? I don't give a fuck about this shit. So that's exactly what I did. I didn't say nothing about it. I avoided John. You know, I always make mental notes. He got away with this one. The next one, I'll fucking say something to him. And Tommy, he could suck my dick too. So time goes on, you know, maybe a month, two months go on.

I get a call. It's Tommy. And he's telling me that fucking Carlos Menciers coming in there and bumping people. And he doesn't feel that Carlos should be bumping people. I tell him, listen, the last time I checked, when you're a fucking, you have your own TV show, you can bump wherever the fuck you want to bump. so bump your way off this phone call and go fuck yourself

what he was trying to do is plant the seed to me to call Rogan to get Rogan all fired up that that wasn't happening he wanted he was trying to tell me that Caparulo was funny than Carlos and that Carlos shouldn't be allowed to go in there

and fucking do his thing and I was totally against it I was like no you've been bumping all You got the wrong fucking guy. So at that time, I was getting the fat lump removed from my neck. I had my own dilemmas going. And sure enough, one night I hear, Rogan gets thrown out of there. And, you know, Rogan gets into it with Mike Feynman.

I look at the video. And then Rogan, people were sticking up for Joe. And they said that they said that, they had to go to the store on Friday night to do a, like a protest, and people didn't go down there. And I thought for me that was the end of my career in my days at the comedy store. I had a back Joe for years. People bothered Joe about Carlos Mancia and that he's a joke thief. Finally, Joe sticks up and these comics folded like a bunch of fucking folding chairs, you know, and I saw that.

And I, and for years, I thought I was part of something. I thought it was part of Sons of Anarchy. I thought I was part of Hell's Angels. I thought it was part of the mafia. I thought it was part of something. I wasn't even part of the Boys Club of America. Those motherfuckers, you know, the Boy Scouts of America. That showed me comedy really had nothing as a brotherhood.

certain clicks, yes. But as a brotherhood, that night, nobody stuck up for Joe, so I knew what Pat now. Now, you know what this means? You got to get two guns. You just can't have the gun in your holster. You've got to get one in your side piece now, because now we see how this game is played. This game is not played by awful one, one for all. This game is played. Oh, you guys want to do that like when you saw the document the store documentary j leno crossed the line there's always one comic that's gonna do what he wants to do because uh desperation is a motherfucker in this world i'm not saying jay was desperate but you know a spot's a spot's a spot people will do anything for a spot they'll sell their mother for a spot yes they will suck your dick for a spot in la yes they will

So, you know, I just stopped going down there and I focused my energies on other thing. You know, Fred Garcia gave me a recurring role on my name is Earl. I had some other stuff going on. But I still kept in touch with a handful of people from the store. And every time, again, I'm lying to you if I said every time. But every, let's say every five contact. conversations I had with somebody from the store, John Caparulo's name popped up. Like I said, I had no hatred for him. I liked him. I thought he was a funny comic. I respect him. I was a little off kilter with him from his remarks that night. But now I was starting to lose respect from the things I was hearing. He was telling comics to their faces that he sucked.

He was telling comics that they couldn't go up to, after him. He had Tommy in his back pocket, and they were, you know, just doing shitty things together to other comics. And not the comics from the improv or the laugh factory or the ha-ha or fucking, you know, comics from other sectors. If you want to go to war that way, I get to the, that as a goof. But you were doing it to comics in the comedy store. We all worked together. We were all made by Mitchie Shaw. It was a commune. It was a compound. It was all these beautiful fucking things.

And yeah, I'm not here to fucking tell you I was Johnny Perfect. I was in there snorting coat and getting my dick sucked and eating assholes and doing drugs. You know, I was doing my thing too. But at the same time, I wasn't up there putting down comics. What's the same? torturing them or telling people who could go up or who can't go up or you know whatever yeah i ran the fucking open mic on sunday nights and mitsy shaw you know comics would sign their names up that were fucking not she wasn't like them so they'd be there all day signed their name and when i'd give her the list she'd go get them out of here get them out of and the people thought it was me it's not me at Smitsy. I would never throw anybody. This is an art. You do what you do. But throughout this

fucking, I stayed out of the store from 2000, maybe seven to 2013. And I got to tell you that every month I heard something else about this caparulo guy saying this doing this. him and Tommy doing this. Tommy telling girls they weren't funny. I was just hearing about this new place that I wasn't a part of. It was an ego place. At the time, Crystal Lear was developing there. You know, I think Caparulo had a problem with him,

but, you know, things had happened that on the Wild West tour, It was Caparulo and Brett Ernst and Sebastian and I met I'm mad, I think. I'm not sure. Don't quote me on this. And there was a problem there. You know, he was having a problem with Bobby Lee. John Caparillo was having a problem with Rick Ingram. John Caparillo was just becoming a problem at the store.

and I had no dog in the fight. It had nothing to do with me, so I stayed out of it. I get a call one day that they caught Tommy with his hands in the cookie jar. You know, I was blown away because I always thought he was a trust fund kid and for him to be stealing $100 bills. And again, I'm a thief. I'm not going to judge him. I'm just telling you the facts, just in case everybody,

anybody wants to come back and go, no, no, no. The facts, they hired a guy to go, and they went hundreds. They put the hundreds in, they went, they looked back to hundreds of guns. Tommy was behind the register. They fired him. He took the fucking firing. He's on some island playing fucking,

what's that fucking dude's name? Jimmy Buffett? Yeah, he's singing Jimmy Buffett songs at a fucking bar right now. Wasted away in Canada. the margarita. Margarita. Now, this leaves John Caparulo. I get the call to go down there.

I go down there. When I got the call to go back to the store in 2014, I said, this is the chance to redeem myself for all this shit. I had done down there before I had met Terry. You know, I was on a complete tear. I was on a complete tear as an addict. You know, I was drinking. I was a comic, man.

I was just being a young, stupid, fucking comic. That's it. And everything that goes down with it. And whatever was going on down there was going on down there. You know, you guys have heard 20 stories and you have no idea what was going on down there. So for you to sit there and judge, well, for any of these girls, today, these comics today, to sit there and judge about what was going on 20 years ago. They have no fucking idea.

So they could all shut their mouths and go fuck themselves. 97, 98, 2000 was a way different time at the comedy store than what it was today. So I get the call to go back in 2013. Again, I don't expect nothing. I don't make no demands. Nothing. I'm very happy. doing comedy, living the way I'm living, I got a chance to go back to the store, you know.

I go back down there, fucking great night, Tuesday night, no problem. I went down there like a Thursday. I was going down there for about a month. My return to the comedy store was in August. I remember because I had a colonoscopy, like August something, and Lee drove me down to the thing. And then that week, I started going to the store. I was at the store maybe two months before I even saw Caparula. My concerns were not Caparula.

My concerns were personally myself going back down there. After about two months of me going down there, I noticed that Joe Rogan started going down there. And the boys were back down there. Ari was trying to go back down there and all this shit. Okay. All right, like I said, I'm, I got a daughter. I got a wife

I got a podcast I got a career on the road I'm not even thinking about John Caparulo and one night I pull up down there and I hear arguing and I see all this fucking arguing

and it's supposedly John Caparulo had moved farther away from the comedy store and he got caught in traffic and he couldn't make his spot. So on the way down, they had to find other comedians to fill his spots. And the only comic that was there was Joe Roke. And well, John Caparulo doesn't like firing, he doesn't like going up behind good comics.

He wants to be the best comic in the room. He does not want to follow heat at all. by no means at no fucking expense. He is not as in his fucking thing. So he's calling the front girl that I could get on the podcast and tell you the story. And just telling them, no, don't let him put Rogan on. Anybody else put Rogan on?

I guess they put Rogan on. He came in. And he either left or threw a, fit. I think one time he left that they had put somebody else up and one time he threw a fit. I know about the fit for sure. I could fucking, you could fact check me on the fit for sure. Whether he left or not is something different, but I think I could come down to the fact that he did leave one night because he didn't follow what, they don't want to follow a heat. Well, right away, I'm like, look at this motherfucker.

already starting fucking problems. So I think after the Rogan thing, because the, the, the Rogan thing happened, and he got really upset, and then after he'd think the night he left, he just stopped going to the store. So I went back to the store in August. Rogan went back in October,

and Caparulo probably stopped coming in November. So that December 31st, as we usually did every year, I did the recap of the year with Rogan on the J.R.E. podcast. And he goes, man, it's good to see you. You killed last night. I mean, everybody was killing. We were having a great time.

I mean, it was way different than I remember. In 98, 97. You know, we were doing well as comics. Nobody was on the Tonight Show or nothing. and nobody had Netflix specials, but it was great to see people from the bottom of your heart. You were up there cheering for Ari.

I was cheering for Duncan. I was cheering for Byrd. I was cheering for Tom. I was cheering for Rick Ingram. You know, you were cheering for the people in front of your Whitney Cummings, Eliza Schlesinger. I'm up there fucking dying of laughter.

And, you know, and then you got this fucking sleeping pill. This fucking Caparulo guy who walks in, You know, tell the Doug and then fucking leaves. You got Sebastian, you got Bobby Lee, you got all this love and all this positivity. And then you got this walking fucking hemorrhoid that would go up there and you could see he was hot. So he stopped coming up there.

So we're sitting into Rogan studios and Rogans like, man, we've been having a great time lately at the store. I wonder what the fuck it is. Do you have any idea? I go, yeah. Tommy and that fucking. Cun Caparulo with God. That's the truth. That's the...

Dogg, it was the honest of God fucking truth. You know? Two days later, my Twitter handle is blowing the fuck up with Caparulo. Hey, fuck you. And, you know, I'm young. I'm a little, you know, not young, but I'm buckwild. And I go at him. Fuck you.

Fuck that. We start going back and forth. I'm reading a book. on Roberto Duran at the time. And when Roberto Duran fought Sugar Ray Leonard, they were up in Toronto for the first fight. And Sugar Ray Leonard went to introduce his wife to Roberto Duran. He goes, honey, look who it is.

Roberto, let's go home and say hello to him. So they walked over and said hello to Roberto Duran. Roberto Duran took one looking and goes, I can't wait the fucker in the ass. Fucking Sugar Ray cracked. He cracked so hard. He ended up losing the fucking fight. I mean, that's the psychological warfare of it.

So when he was going at me, I was going at him psychologically. John, I'm going to fuck your wife in the ass. I'm saying all this shit on Twitter because I'm just a fucking animal. I never met his wife. I heard she's a beautiful person. And I shouldn't have been saying those things. But it's all fair and love and war. We're Comedy Store comics.

And you've been a real fucking scumbag. the comics for the last seven years and it's ending fucking right now it's ending like it was ending so I just fucking went off fuck you we threatened each other

he's gonna fucking do this to me I'm gonna do that to him so I said listen let's just eliminate the whole fucking thing come on down to the store tonight bitch I'll be that 8 o'clock and I get down to the store and some people are hearing about it some people got their eyes open

and sure enough he pulls up with his Z-20 28 and he gets out and he walks right towards me, you know, and he fucking stepped up. I don't know, and his face was all red and stuff. And before I could let him get set, you know me, dog. I'm Hudson County, straight up, straight up New York City, straight up Hudson County. Something is coming from somewhere. I already got a brick that's loose. But all I got to do is clap and the vibration, they'll loosen it, and they'll hit you in the fucking head.

I'm one of those guys. So as he went to turn right into me, like, ah, before I could catch him and he could catch the leverage, instead of leg kicking him, I did the second best thing, the leg kick, a spit to the face. A spit to the face is very tremendous because he didn't even hear it coming. It was already sitting in the gargalls of my fucking throat.

And I got him half in his mouth and half in his face. And he started going like this. It was the funniest thing you ever seen, because when he landed, as his head landed, it was perfect. It just went toop. And he's like, ah, and he went back, and he's like, how dare you? You know, his ego was so fucking big. And he went to throw a punch at me.

And thank God there was an open mic comic there, a sweetheart, another guy who's mad at me and I'm mad at him anymore. Things got out of hand, desperation. You know, everybody thinks that somebody could change your life. in Hollywood. They really can't. You have to do the work yourself. But this poor, nice sweetheart of an open mic,

before fucking John Caparulo could turn, he catches John Caparulo with a punch to the fucking head. You couldn't have ruined this fucking thing. And nobody said anything. Time just stopped. Caparulo looked around and he ran into the main room, and I guess he had to follow Marin. And Marin was up on stage.

And Marion said he brought him up, and he was bringing him up. He kept wiping his eyes, like, what happened? He's like, he's not going to believe what happened. So Marin waited for him, and he got off. He told Marin that I spit in his face and blah, blah, blah, blah, and, you know. And then he went home, and we went back and forth to add it again. And I just fucking told him. I said, listen, man.

Your best bet is not to come down there. You know, you did a lot of bad shit to a lot of good comics. You heard a lot of good comics feelings. And one thing about me, I take one thing really fucking serious. I take when people fuck with people's dreams. When people's dreams, you're a certain type of fucking animal. So he was fucking with people's dreams, man. he told a lot of things

a lot of bad people he told a lot of good people some bad things he judged them he judged their comedy he judged their jokes there's a couple of those motherfuckers at the store that didn't want them following you like oh I'm not going to follow you

that was a particular motherfucker he knows what the fuck of his creators of shows and shit he'd be calling at him don't let I don't want to follow Joey and then he would come up to me before my shows and say like to try to piss on my leg like, oh, are you going to go rogue tonight or are you going to be organized? And I would tell them, I'm going to fucking do what I do, bitch. But if you want to, you could sit down with me and teach me how to write comedy

because you could write all the comedy you want. You'll never be as funny as I will. Writing jokes and being funny is two different fucking things. so you could sit there and write all the Netflix specials you want. That don't mean you're fucking funny. I can read the yellow pages, blindfolded, and fucking make you fucking die a laugh. So I don't even know where we were at.

You know, John took a breather. He started going to the Comedy Magic Club. Adam from the store told him to take a breather. You know, right away he won. went at Rogan, he went at me, he went out a bunch of us saying that this is a conspiracy to get him out. No, it was everybody wanted him out. Nobody wanted him there. He had made that place a living fucking out. And he knew it. He started going down to the Orange, uh, whatever, the comedy magic club. Fucked them too. And, uh, he got thrown. They hit, they hit him with a fucking glass.

They threw a glass on some Trump hater. or Trump later, Trump supported threw a glass at him. And, you know, he must, I saw that and then I felt bad. I wasn't happy about that. Like, he's getting beat up outside. But then he did the ultimate sin. He did two things that cost them, everything. One, he put out a podcast after he got hit about, you know,

he ran with the bully thing and the whole thing, and nobody bullied him. When him and Tommy were having a good time, bullying people, you know, everybody was jumping up and down. Now when the tables turned, he didn't like it. He put out this whole podcast about getting bullied and blah, blah, blah. Guess what? Everybody talked to each other.

Nobody said a word. The podcast disappeared. He fizzled into the night. And then Mitchie Shaw died. They checked around. They called him. The talent coordinator, some of the managers said, you know what? He did his time here.

He was a real man. Call him up. He was here during Mitzie. I agreed. Caparulo should be here. Everybody. They invited him to go down there. He went down there.

He picked three fucking fights. He started three fights. He started three arguments with three different comments. Ari, Steve Renazizi, and Bobby Lee. So they gave him another chance. And he went down there and he was a jerk off again. You know, he was a Joe jerk off again. So, you know, when this club owner told me that he was disgruntled,

that he was saying the club was over anyway, you know, a 20 year ago Joe Diaz would have been very happy, would have said, fuck him. No, I feel really bad for how this ended for John. That's why I wanted to tell this story. You know, I can't imagine him and his wife watching that documentary and not seeing even three minutes of John. But, hey, there were a lot of other people that deserved to be in that documentary

that weren't in that documentary. Then my heart goes out to them. But John, no. I'm sorry you didn't get put in a documentary. And you didn't deserve to get put in a documentary for what you did. You went against the people that Mitchie Shaw was trying to ride. up. That's what you did. You went against us. And you know what? My police record is going to live forever that I fucking got arrested and I did time, burglary, whatever the fuck I did. That documentary

from Showtime is going to be up for fucking ever. And I wasn't one of the stars of that fucking documentary, but I was in it. And that means I'm going to be in there forever. And the sad thing about this is because of your fucking ego. Because of your fucking ego and your inability to work as a team and to be a part of a family. Listen, I'm not part of no clubs. I'm not part of no affiliations. You know, I'm not with the rampers.

I'm not with a fucking biker gang or whatever. I'm a human being. And I treated people like a human being. Yeah, at times I fucked up. I made a guy get in the trunk with a machine gun. I wasn't all darey. That wasn't all the perfect fucking thing. But when I got to that comedy store,

my first tenure there, I was just a wild comic. I didn't know what I was doing. But when I went back there as my second tenure, I went back as a mature adult comic. And I had a lead by example. And that's what I tried to do. And I tried to be a gentleman to the younger fucking comics. And that's what you didn't do.

you were a scumbag to them. And that's why now you're going to be miserable the rest of your life over not being on this documentary and being treated like that from the people from the store. I feel bad for you. And I pray for you and I light a candle for you that your life changes and that your anger from this situation goes away because it's really going to alter your comedy.

And right now what you have to worry about is the mouths you have to feed, your house payment and your wife and your kid, your beautiful wife, your beautiful child, and your beautiful family. John Caparillo, I have nothing against you. What I had against you was your ego and your inability to fucking apologize, to be a fucking man and say,

yeah, I did it. Who cares? Nobody would care. In a year, you would have been back at the store, you would have been rocking and rolling, and you would have been one of us family again. You chose to be angry, walk around with a red face, and go to the comedy fucking magic club and do magic tricks with those fucking humps. So if you're upset, if I upset you in any way, I wasn't born to upset you or to cancel you. All I wanted to do was to call you out for what you had been doing to some of the comics at the store and the attitude you came up to me up with that night.

with you and Tommy, I should have taken his boat and lit his boat on fucking fire. But I was too fucked up on my cocaine and with all my proms and with everything else. But today I'm the man I want to be. You know, I'm very happy with who I am. I'm very happy that I did my tenure at the store. I'm happy I did my tenure on the documentary

and I'm not happy that you are not on it. I wish you would have been on it. You deserve to be on it. What I'm not happy with, is that you didn't apologize and I'm not happy that you never came clean with us and looked us in the eye and told us what you did.

And that's it and that's that. I hope everybody learned a lesson today about life and when somebody calls you out, it may bother you for a few days, but you go, you know what, fuck it. I'm going to fucking be a man up, go in there, apologize, do what I got to do. and that's it.

And that's what this whole thing was about. I want him to get that anger out of his heart. I'm going to light a candle for you. I'm going to pray for you. I want this anger out of your heart because you don't need it. You were a young man, the comedy store and everything that had to do it was a long, long time ago. And I know a lot of people that have a beef with that documentary.

And I'm not mad at the producers or listen. There was just too many people to cover. You know, there was too many people to cover, and, you know, maybe they forgot who you were. But as far as John, you didn't get to be on that, and you were a major part of that store. But next time, learn to be a little bit more humble. And if you're watching this and you're a young comic, no matter how big and bad and famous you get, learn to be humble. Learn to compliment, but also learn to say you're sorry. You know what I'm saying?

I learned it worked for me. Thank you very much for watching. Another fun-filled Uncle Joey's joint on a Monday. Let me see if we covered everything here because I don't ever want you to fucking say that fucking Joey didn't give us everything he had to. I want to show you something. These are the Patreon shirts that came in,

long sleeve just in case you're a junkie you know me I do all my shirts long sleeve because I don't want no problems sometimes people are junkies and they're like Joey what the fuck

so I don't know what I'm doing next but I will be putting these online for sale there's some hoodies left there's some church of what's happening now hoodies left And that's it and that's that, man.

It's been a beautiful fucking week. It's a beautiful Monday. It's a beautiful day to be alive. I'm excited to what's going to happen. New Year's, it's Thursday night. Maybe on Thursday, on Wednesday's podcast, we'll have a special announcement for you on something to do on Thursday night.

And beside that, that's it and that's that. I love you, motherfuckers with all my heart. I got no club dates, except the fifth and the sixth at Uncle Vinnie's. And the eighth, I'm having my surgery, so there's not much. And we will try to do our podcast with the fucking cast on. You know, I'm not going to leave you in alerts because I have a little fucking surgery going on. Thank you very much.

Thank you for enjoying Uncle Joey's joint. And now for a word for my motherfucking sponsor. All right, I want to thank you guys for listening on a beautiful Monday. It's a whole new week. Christmas is done. I'm sorry. You know, you guys got to take down your trees now and cry and whatever. But you got a whole new fucking set, a whole new week. And it starts tonight with the bills versus the fucking patriots. Because you know me, the joint is brought to you by draft kings from the heart of motherfucking South Jersey, slinging dick off Route 9. Uncle Joey's here. And while the holiday season may be winding down, The sports calendar is in full effect this week. What are you got? You got tonight. You got Monday night football.

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And I'll see you fucking Wednesday. That's it and that's that.