The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #030 - UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT

Episode Date: January 14, 2021

Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint.... Today, we talk about forgiveness. This episode is brought to you DraftKings, Blue Chew & Stamps.com...... Go to https://www.draftkings.com and enter Code: JOEY Go to ...https://www.bluechew.com and enter Code: JOEY Go to https://www.stamps.com and enter Code: JOEY And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Greetings from Podcastville. It's Thursday, the 14th of January. Uncle Joey's joint is brought to you by Draft Kings. Listen, the party starts tonight. It starts tonight. You got a TNT doubleheader. Plus, I got two games that the lines don't even look good on them. Take a look at the lines of the Indy, Portland, NBA game,
Starting point is 00:00:22 and the Miami-Philly NBA game. The lines don't look right. Right there, I go to Draft Kings. That's where the action starts. Sports are in full swing. There's no shortage of fucking action. You got a UFC card this weekend, I think. UFC Fight Island 7.
Starting point is 00:00:40 I mean, come on. And this is the best place to get in on it. Draft Kings, America's top-rated sportsbook. If you haven't tried them yet, what the fuck are you waiting for? To celebrate the NFL playoffs, Draft Kings is giving all new players a great offer. This weekend, bet on any football game at 100 to 1 odds.
Starting point is 00:01:00 Joey, what are you saying? Bet any of the four football games at a 100 to 1 odds. That's right. All you got to do is bet a dollar on any football game this weekend for a chance to win 100 bucks. Plus, basketball season is fucking on fire.
Starting point is 00:01:16 They don't have their fucking lines right, and you're sitting there talking about fucking, you know, are the Eagles going on tour this summer? Who gives a fuck? I'm looking to make money tonight, cock sucker. You got Indie Portland. Miami, Philly, go to Draft Kings. Download the top-rated sportsbook app right now.
Starting point is 00:01:34 It's safe, secure, reliable, and it's your fucking money. Deposit and withdraw at your convenience. Right now, today, before anything, let's get the action started tonight Thursday night. Download the top-rated Draft King Sportsbook app now. Use promo code Joey, J-O-E-Y, when you sign up to get 100 to 1 odds on any football game this weekend.
Starting point is 00:01:58 That's Code Joey for new players To get a shot at $100 At any football action this weekend For a limited time only at Draft King Sportsbook But the party starts tonight Like I said You got some weak lines on Indy Portland, Miami, Philly Go make some money
Starting point is 00:02:17 There's a parley in there for you I can't give it to you Go to a friend who knows NBA So right now here's the part the lawyers Make me fucking say, all right? Indiana, Pennie. Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Tennessee, Colorado, restrictions apply. See, draftkings.com slash sportsbook details.
Starting point is 00:02:38 Now, if you got a gambling problem, I don't want to kiss a debt around. There's help for you. Call 1-800 gambler, and if you're in Indiana, call 1-809 with it. But if you're solid, you're grounded, you're ready to make some fucking Guitous. Download the Draft King Sportsbook app. Use code Joey and cash in on this deal. The joint is also brought to you by Blue Chew. It's the second week of January, and you're still single.
Starting point is 00:03:04 Scratching your head. Where do I go? Do I go to Tendo? No matter of your show up, whatever site you show up, you better have a big dick and a nice attitude. And I'm going to help you. I can't help you with the attitude, but I can help you with the hard dick. Blue Chew.
Starting point is 00:03:18 It's the first chewable dick pill. Same FDA approved active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis. This is the shit you buy from some fucking. bum at a fucking liquor store and next thing you know your hand goes numb while you're trying to whack off. Blue Chew is prescribed online by licensed physicians so you don't have to go to the doctor's office or wait in line at a pharmacy. Right now they got a special offer for the joint family. You ready? Grab a pen. Visit bluechew.com. That's blue, B-L-U-E-C-C-C-com. And your first shipment is free when you're pressing.
Starting point is 00:03:58 code Joey. Just pay the $5 for shipping. And again, that's blue. Like the color of that vein in your dick when you show up at a house and play the bongos on a fucking head. Bluechoo.com, use code Joey. And I want to thank them for continuing to sponsor the joint. The joint is also brought to you by Stamps.com. Listen, I've been with Stamps.com for close to 10 years now. What thing you learned in 2020? is that the internet is even more often than when we thought you could do everything on there. Groceries, movies, doctor visits, and of course going to the post office online with stamps.com. They save your time, money, energy, you know.
Starting point is 00:04:44 Stamp.coms allow businesses of all sizes to do all their mailing and shipping right from their computer. No need to leave their home or office. That's it. They pick them right up for you. They save small businesses, thousands of hours, and tons of money, and now they can do the same for you. My wife uses them to send out sweatshirts and whatnot. Tremendous. You put them out right out, the mailman picks them up.
Starting point is 00:05:10 It's that easy. Guys, stamps.com is an old brain, especially now, because I'm saving you time, money, and fucking. I'm not, I'm keeping you healthy. Make 2021 the year that you stop wasting time going to the postoff. Go to Stamps.com instead. There's no risk. With my code, Joey, you're going to get a special offer that includes a four-week trial, plus free postage, and a digital scale.
Starting point is 00:05:38 No long-term commitments or contracts. It's easy. Go to Stamps.com, click on the microphone on the top of the homepage, and pressing Joey, J-O-E-Y. That's Stamps.com, press in Joey, and never go to a post office again. I want to thank Stamps.com. I want to thank Graf Kings. I want to thank Blue Chew.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Now let's get this motherfucking party started. Who's better than you? Nobody. What's happened? You bad motherfuckers, it's Thursday. The 14th of January. We're always fucking almost mid-month already. I'm looking good.
Starting point is 00:06:56 I'm feeling good. Thank you for all the well-wishes. The surgery went great. Physical therapy. That's a different story. My buttocks I saw. You understand me? You're looking at me like, Joey, what are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:07:08 Your buttocks are sore. Well, let's say you get raped by five dudes. Your asshole is sore, right? My buttocks are sore. I have nothing wrong with my asshole. It's my buttocks. My buttox, I am 58 years old, and my buttocks have never been fucking sore before in their life.
Starting point is 00:07:25 Do you understand me? So there's a problem right now. I know I must sound a little gay to you guys right now by even saying that. You've never, any of you guys, nobody has ever came up to you and said, You know what? My buttocks hurt today. Well, my buttocks fucking hurt today, coxuckers. I'll tell you that much.
Starting point is 00:07:43 But everything's going great. I took my first post-surgical shit. I almost fainted in the bathroom when the fudge was coming out of my ass. And then once it stopped, it wouldn't stop. I've been trying to shit for three fucking days. Once they start shooting you with dilettas and vikidens and liquid milkshakes and voodoo mixes, that fucks your stomach up. Yeah, the pain goes away.
Starting point is 00:08:04 but in a couple days you're going to have to pay for that fucking pain and I paid for it today because it took me four days to shit it was like I'm a r-it was like I was a snitch you gotta smack me 10 times you gotta smack me twice to talk and 20 times to shut the fuck up I couldn't stop shit and I must have took four
Starting point is 00:08:20 uncontrollable fucking tremendous shits but that means the surgery was a success you understand me I got all that fucking toxin out of me all that mumbo jumbo and it happened after you know why it happened because when the physical therapist came,
Starting point is 00:08:36 we were just walking in here, and I go, let's take a walk outside. And I made a walk on. She's like, where are we going? She's Filipino, sweetheart of the lady. She goes, where we go? I go on up. The sun is out.
Starting point is 00:08:45 Let's get some vitamin D. Everybody needs some vitamin D. And I had my little old man's troller. Just going, Jack. Stoned to the gills, getting a little vitamin D doing my thing. And it was great. So now I got physical therapy tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:09:00 And physical therapy on Sunday. I get the stitches, out on motherfucker Monday and with all of then I switch physical therapies I drive to a physical therapist one of the kids I grew up with is tremendous down here and then hopefully by then I'll be lifting some weights lightly and then hopefully by then we're on stage training for the fucking summer that's the plan Stan did a little writing in the book today did a little writing in the book yesterday I already ran into my first nag even though I
Starting point is 00:09:34 outlined it. Even though I outlined it, I wrote two paragraphs too much. It took my chin down for a couple hours. And then I said, fuck it. Erase it and write it again. That's what I did. And I'm better now. That's what happened. But I want to talk to you about a few things. I'll get you out of here. I know it's Thursday. You're like, Joey, who drops a podcast on Thursday? My mind is on different things. Fuck it. It's Thursday. I want to slow you down a little bit. Bill Bird Drop says morning morning podcast on Thursday or whatever Thursday morning podcast on Thursday so fuck it we're not really off the grid we're just a little late you I'm saying but I want to talk to you about something just to get it out there and get it out
Starting point is 00:10:15 the air and the whole fucking deal because I don't know if you people understand the feeling I don't know if you understand feelings and I don't know if you've ever thought about somebody else's feelings when something's going on I got locked up in 88th. I got out in 89. No big deal. It didn't kill me. I didn't get raped.
Starting point is 00:10:38 Had a good time in prison. I found out who and what I was made of and what I didn't want to do anymore was go back to prison. All that's great. But something happens when you come out of prison. Okay? Your mental takes over you a certain way. And it starts with your mind playing stricks on you.
Starting point is 00:10:56 You know, I told you guys I got like that semi-heartedly. heart attack on the 21st of August, but I didn't go to the doctor. My chest cave hurt for a few days, whatever. Yeah, it was a fucking mild heart attack, you know. I don't know what it's got to do with this shit, but for a few days after that, I had my residual pain and whatever. I didn't know what was going on. Once the pain went away, I was fine. This is what's going on now. I realize after the stress test and echo cardiac, I'm fine. It was all in my mind. Your mind has a weird, way of playing with you. When I went to get the evaluation on my right knee, the doctor goes, the weird thing is your left knee is in worse shape. As soon as I walked out of the doctor and I went
Starting point is 00:11:43 to the car, the left knee started hurting. That's what your mind does. Do your mind plays tricks on you? How many you use check your temperature eight times a day during COVID because you feel something? You know, your mind plays tricks on you. One of the things your mind plays tricks on you is that it lets It makes you think me, Joe Diaz, that everybody in this room knows I just got out of prison. When you walk into a supermarket, it makes me think that everybody in that supermarket found out I went to prison. It's just this weird little thing that you have for a few months, and it feels terrible. Now, you're talking to a guy who didn't really get, I don't give a fuck what people got to say about. I mean, if you don't have the boss to say it to my face, then what good is it right or wrong?
Starting point is 00:12:35 So it didn't really bother me as much as it would bought, but I would say, wow, it doesn't bother me as much. But there's people that had just been to prison the first time. I wonder how it bothers them, you know. And it's not your mind after a while. Then you start to feel it. I got out of, I got out of, for me, it was more. during county jail when I got arrested for the actual robbery and I sat a month in jail one newspaper two newspaper articles came out about the incident one came out the Wednesday
Starting point is 00:13:15 after the Tuesday but it didn't have my name on it and then one came out maybe a week later with that the third party I've been arrested his name was Joey Diaz he got charged whatever he got charged with in my mind that bolder paper was the New York Times So do you understand I'm trying to say to you? It just fucked me to pieces. And I went, nobody would hire me. You know, Bill Crowe Subaru won't hire me. Nobody would hire me.
Starting point is 00:13:45 But this one guy named Bob Wheeler hired me. He was from Detroit, Michigan, from Dearborn, tough white dude. He just liked the way I sell. He basically trained me at Bill Crowd Subaru, how to be a fucking killer. So he had gone to a store in a long. on Colorado and since nobody else would hire me in the Boulder area he hired me he got me a demo to get there every day he did everything I could everything I could I will never forget him even though he's lost gone his children still messaged me on Facebook from time to time
Starting point is 00:14:21 great kids I know he was going to raise great kids because he was a great guy himself but let me tell you some circumstances that happened you know while I was working from there were white dudes in the Ford store, whatever they sold at that time. We sold a long-launch Subaru, Nissan, and something else. There were guys in a Nissan store that wouldn't come over to the Subaru store because I was working there.
Starting point is 00:14:47 Nah, I hadn't done anything that bad. These are the same people that were snorting Coke, buying Coke and the same dealers and everything, but they wouldn't come over here because they were offended that I had gotten a job there. I don't know if you guys ever knew about this, Let's go through it. And it's got a great payday to the end of this.
Starting point is 00:15:05 So he just got a lot of heat every day, you know, and he would tell him want to go fuck himself. That's my dog, Joey. And I ended up working it for 30 days. And I'll tell you what, my mind was so confused with the court case and everything else I was going on. I wasn't the salesman. I wasn't the salesman that I was. It was like what happened to me after the move here.
Starting point is 00:15:31 I wasn't the same comic. I wasn't the same podcaster. I wasn't the same a lot of things. And after 30 days, you pulled me aside. He's like, look at the owners. They're getting a lot of grief. I'm going to give you a month's salary. You know, take some time to yourself.
Starting point is 00:15:47 Go figure something else out, you know. And he took really good care of me financially. And he sold my girlfriend a car at cost. And that was the only car I sold. A car to my girlfriend. I got a, give me. It was a $100 deal. And, you know, he called me every day,
Starting point is 00:16:06 check on me, how was I doing, what was going on? And then he decided to get married. And he invited me to the wedding. And after a few weeks or something, I just heard rumblings that a lot of people had told them if I was going to the wedding, they weren't going to the wedding. And do you know what his answer was? then go fuck yourself don't even give me a fucking gift you know and by this time i'd gotten out
Starting point is 00:16:38 and he was still getting heat about me and i'll never forget that i went to him like a man and i go jim i'm pissing off like six or seven people over a wedding i don't want to do that you know let me just give you an envelope we're best friends you and i both know that i love you and i love your wife. I love your son. The bump. He already had the bump. And he goes, no, that's not all right. He goes, you did a crime. You reported to the judge and you did your time. You did what you had to do for society to come clean. And in my book, and this guy was a white dude. He had never been to jail. this wasn't what this guy was gonna this guy wasn't a criminal he was a regular normal guy just like you guys nice people go to work month a month he told me that he goes you paid you do the society
Starting point is 00:17:41 now it's your job to become a contributing member of society so don't be ashamed about them they're the ones that have a problem you don't have a problem you did what you were supposed to do so what you're fucked up what they never fucked up he goes now they fucked up with me because they can never talk to me again. He goes, don't ever be a fucking shamed about what you did. You did it, you did your time, and you moved the fuck out. Now, why are we talking about this joy? Why are we going through this fucking beat?
Starting point is 00:18:11 I'm going to tell you why, because till this day, from time to time, I still remember how I felt those couple of months when people didn't understand that what I'd done, I was a mistake. I mean, I had people turning that back on me that I went to the houses, to eat. I played with their children. They knew what I was about. I could understand, listen, when we started the church, I came right out and told you about the kidnapping because I didn't want you to find out about it three years in. I wanted you to find out from the beginning so you knew
Starting point is 00:18:43 who the fuck I was. So there'd be no misunderstandings. I'm not here to bullshit nobody. I don't give a fuck about what your opinion is. I don't know what your life is and you don't know what my life is. So who the fuck are we to criticize one another? I just said it. to get it out of the way. And I talked about all my other crimes to get them out of the way as a matter of fact. And some of them are horrific crimes. And we made them funny, you know, we made them a little funny or whatever. Am I supposed to still feel guilty? No, no, I did it. I moved on. And here we are today in 2021. Now, I'll never forget how I felt those few months, though, that these were people that broke bread with me. These are people that I'd see at barbecues. These are people that I'd see around
Starting point is 00:19:29 Boulder and talk to. And it was really, because after that, I started calculating, okay, how many other people are not going to talk to me and who is going to talk to me. And it was very interesting, who stayed my best friend and who went away. And it was, I was completely wrong on who was going to stay and who was going to leave. So how's that for you? I had no fucking idea who my friends were. It didn't matter to me. Everything. worked out. I got him to stand up, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And boom, we moved the fuck on. But I never forgot.
Starting point is 00:20:01 I never forgot about this. This last March, uh, let's just say January, some girl decides to get up one day and contact the newspaper and say that
Starting point is 00:20:19 some guy was sending her text messages and she was underage or whatever. and it sparked articles and newspapers and it sparked art rage amongst the comedy community and that's fine. It was the initial hit, you know. Yesterday, my man, Saran Z, Siren Z.
Starting point is 00:20:45 What's his name? Sianz. Sianz, cool motherfucker, love him to death. Makes me laugh. Even though sometimes he talks shit about me, I still laugh because what he's saying is with a smile on his face. He has no hatred in his heart.
Starting point is 00:20:59 He's just reporting what he said. But yesterday he put up a video that I, whatever, knocked down Chris DeLeo, which it was put up by a producer to get hits. I did not call out Delia. I did not say anything wrong about Delia. What I said was who I was keeping in touch with in L.A. still, who I'm still friends with, Bert, Tom.
Starting point is 00:21:23 Today I talked to Eddie Bravo. He was the funniest. He goes, Joey, I saw the pictures of your stitches in the paper. And the internet. He goes, how long was the surgery? I go, four hours. He goes, that's a lot of fucking stitches. He goes, were you up for it?
Starting point is 00:21:36 I go, oh, yeah, yeah. They gave me a gram of Coke. And I fucking talked it out with the doctor. I told them what the cut, what not the cut. I go, yeah, Eddie. They put me to fucking men. They got to leave me awake like that for fucking 100 stitches. Yeah, just give him a gram of Coke.
Starting point is 00:21:51 We'll work out the rest. I'm just sitting there. move that toe, you know. What the fuck is wrong with people? I told everybody I talked to Eddie, I talked to Lee, and I checked him with DeLea from time to time. And the reason why I check with DeLea from time to time is, now I'm going to tell you my story,
Starting point is 00:22:06 and you could decide on what the fuck you want to do with it. I went back to the store in 2013. I had never met Chris DeLea before that. I'd seen them a couple times at the Laugh Factory with Dane Cook and the improv. Fucking very funny, very energetic. energetic always had two broads with them all right not one but two loved it good looking girls you know they looked of age I you know I don't know what age looks like but these girls
Starting point is 00:22:37 looked at age they were drinking whatever you know over the years we became tighter at the store you know I'd see him at the store I'd have to follow him was like following a fucking hurricane but I did it I didn't give a fuck sometimes I ate a bag of shit But I always talked to him. I always gave him love. I always winked at him before I went on stage. I never did a lunch with him. I never had a dinner with him. But while we were at the comedy store together, we did talk. And we had some interesting conversations about touring and whatnot. And once he got his girlfriend, he stopped bringing girls around.
Starting point is 00:23:12 So I would see him when I'd go, come here for a second. What are we fucking switching governments? What did you become gay all of a sudden? Where's the brids? Every night, that was part of me going down there to see the two broads. Delea was going to show up with it was fucking great once he got the girlfriend he got he fell in love he got serious and there wasn't two broads anymore so i didn't see nothing for three or four years two three years and all of a sudden i'm seeing this this friend of who i call a friend of mine getting bombarded with all this shit but i also saw the next day when he got
Starting point is 00:23:43 the other end of the emails to protect themselves and whatnot that people didn't want to see him He had already been convicted, judge, and executioned by a bunch of people that have the power, not even to do that. You don't have the power to do that. Now, let's take, like I said before on this podcast a thousand times, let's take our boy, Ron Jeremy. I know Ron Jeremy is a porno guy. Do I watch porno? No, I worked at Commander Video and Captain Video in Aspen, and 83 and 84, and I had two rows of a porn section. And women and guys always come in and say,
Starting point is 00:24:21 if I had any Ron Jeremy tapes. And one day I finally threw him in them. I'm like, who's this fucking greasy bastard? And that's all I knew of Ron Jeremy. And one day I moved to Atlanta. And I saw him a bank of America. Did I run up to him and say hello? No, I don't give a fuck.
Starting point is 00:24:35 He's probably got fucking sticky hands from sperm and fucking dirty pussy and shit. Yeah. I don't know nobody. I don't say hello to the guy. Then I start seeing him at the fucking store. Okay? And he says, hello, goodbye, how you doing, whatever.
Starting point is 00:24:54 I don't see him again. Then one day I do a podcast with the Pimp from Vegas, and he shows up with him, and he plays the harmonica. And I got a kick out of him. I got a kick out of Ron Jeremy. I didn't know what his life was about. It's not like I took a picture. I need to take a picture and post it.
Starting point is 00:25:11 No, I just knew Ron Jeremy. He was a nice guy, and that's it. And one day I'm reading about all these allegations against Brian, against, you know, Chris, against, you know, everybody in their mother. And Ron Jeremy gets arrested for a right. And they got him. And I didn't know anything about Ron. But again, from going to Jiu-Jitsu, I have two dear Jiu-Jitsu friends that are involved in the
Starting point is 00:25:36 porno business. So I asked them around Ron, Jeremy, and boy, did they have a mouthful to tell me. And you know what? After about a week, I made a constant decision. I didn't want any problems. No company, no spy. Hunter told me, I did it because I'm not comfortable with rape. I took the podcast that he was on down.
Starting point is 00:25:56 It wasn't Lee. It wasn't Draft Kings. It wasn't CBD Lion. I did it. I did it because it's rape. It's a complete different fucking thing. Now, I got Callin was on my podcast a few times. Did he get convicted of rape?
Starting point is 00:26:13 No. If you guys are hating them already as a rapist, I don't see the conviction. I don't see the paper. work. I don't see fucking anything. And from my side, I got to see something. You know, I don't know what's going on there. I haven't heard from Brian in three weeks.
Starting point is 00:26:28 I spoke to Sam and he keeps me going with what's going on in LA right now. I do check in with Chris. You know, we spoke Christmas week. We spoke New Year's. And New Year's I unleashed. I said, brother, that's it. It's enough of fucking wait. You know, it's enough of a way.
Starting point is 00:26:49 Aren't you sick and just standing there and having people point their fingers at you? You're my brother. I hate to see you fucking hurt. Start this podcast. Tell your story. That's what I said. I said, tell your story and start this podcast. And the quicker you tell the story and the quicker you start this podcast, it's going to take you six months to a year.
Starting point is 00:27:10 It took Lewis C.K. A couple of years to get his footing back. You know, I'm not mad at Lewis C.K. He took his dick out and showed it to a couple fucking broads. What are you on from me? I wasn't in the room. And neither were you. You know, did you read any of these Brian Callen?
Starting point is 00:27:26 Were you there when Brian raped anybody or supposedly forced himself on these women? Were you? Me neither. You know, as far as Brian Callan's, Chris DeLeo is concerned, I have a kid. I have a wife and, what, 60% of my best friends of women from Felicia to Kate Quigley, to Lisa Tizio, to Lisa Gallo, all over the people. I have girls out of my friends here that were best friends. I'm not, I wouldn't be happy with somebody texting them when they were under age, but there is a thing called a mistake, and I know Chris still here. I know Chris. I know what it were as hard is, you know, and I could tell you that
Starting point is 00:28:07 this doesn't sound like the Chris I know. So because of that reason was why I was applauding them and why I was trying to give them a lift. And let's pretend, let's pretend for the sake of argument that Chris did send a fucking tweet to a fucking girl. Guys, there's a lot of crazy people on that internet. There's a lot of crazy women on that internet that have a lot of shit to say. I'm 58 and I look at it and go, whoa, that's a little too real for me. But I've seen some shit on the internet from some young girls that are just crazy. We all have.
Starting point is 00:28:50 We don't know what a 16-year-old girl looks like We're 17-year-old girl or 18-fucking-year-old girl I know for a fact One of the fucking happiest days of my life Was when I read that Ray Dong Chong Admitted that she fucked Mick Jagger When she was 15 or 16 And was not mad at him
Starting point is 00:29:07 You know, Felicia used to have a friend I forget what her name was real pretty girl And she used to tell me stories About her growing up in the valley And walking down Laurel Canyon To the clubs and being 15 and 16 and hooking up with fucking musicians and nobody was throwing nobody under the bus.
Starting point is 00:29:26 Again, that's not my daughter. That's not what I'm raising to be, but this was something that was, you know, it's a 16-year-old girl, a guy smiles at her, she gets attention, whatever. I don't think it's right. I don't agree with it, but again, I don't think Chris DeLea is one of these guys.
Starting point is 00:29:43 And that's just me talking out of here. And I may be a criminal, and I may be a lot of things, but you guys got to remember something. I spent time in jail. I spent time around murderers. I spent time around bank robbers. I spent time around rapists.
Starting point is 00:29:58 I spent time around child molasses. I did not hang with them. I got to look at them, and I got to study them like an animal or a fucking in a fucking circus. You know, you go to a zoo and you sit down and you stop and you look at the whole fucking giraffe exhibit. And you see that maybe the one giraffe might have a teddy bear or whatever. I got to look at all these guys every day. And there's a couple things I could tell you from that fucking thing. Chris DeLea didn't do anything wrong, and Ralphie Mae is not a rapist.
Starting point is 00:30:32 When somebody accused Ralphie Mae a rape, I went off the fucking deep end because I know a rapist. A rapist has a different beat than a crackhead, has a different beat than what I was, a fucking robber. I was a plain day robber, a burglar, a fucking, you know, so they all have a different beat. So I know the beat of a rapist. I know the beat of a guy that really indulges in little fucking girls. You know, you don't know what goes out there in Hollywood. You don't know the girls that just go out there and don't know.
Starting point is 00:31:06 You know, I watched, I saw fucking Paris Hilton on fucking Letterman telling stories how she used to sneak out of her window. when she was 15 in New York to go out and see fucking men. Those motherfuckers should be shot on. They knew she was 15, but that's not what I'm here to do. I'm just trying to explain to you
Starting point is 00:31:26 what I see-saw happen to a friend that this didn't deserve to happen. You want to kick them off the fucking movie, kick them off the fucking movie. You wanted to kick him off a TV show, whatever, kick him off the TV show. But this was not warranted by this guy. This guy came back.
Starting point is 00:31:44 This guy came back, Chris DeLeer, and tried to show you other tweets that he had received, but nobody wanted to see them. You guys didn't give them a chance to protect themselves. How would you like if that was you? Would you like that if I didn't give you your chance to open up your mouth and say, hey, this is what really fucking happened?
Starting point is 00:32:02 As soon as they fucking came at me with some bullshit about 20 years ago, I opened up my fucking mouth because you ain't taken it away from me. I work too hard for this, you fucking dummies. You're worried about a girl who sucked my dick, but you don't give a fuck. about a guy that was in the trunk of a car, go fuck yourself.
Starting point is 00:32:20 Your priorities are all fucking wrong. If you hit me up tomorrow and say, I'm not listening to you because you kidnapped the guy in 88, I'd accept that. But don't say to me that, oh, Joe Rogan laughed at your joke, so he's guilty, really? There was just a bunch of stupidity at that time that we looked back on now, and you could address and go,
Starting point is 00:32:40 what the fuck were these people talking about? What were they talking about? Yeah. So how the fuck are you going to fucking sit there and be mad at whatever the fuck? Listen, Chris DeLeo, if you're watching this brother, I love you. I got your back. It's time for you to fucking start your little podcast, tell your story, let them throw eggs at you. Let them throw eggs at you and let them do whatever the fuck they want.
Starting point is 00:33:09 And you're going to go through it and then you're going to win because you're going to hold your fucking ground. In this business now, you've got to hold your ground. they're going to come after you every week for something you did 82 years ago and i'm not going to go for it neither are you you you wouldn't like it if it happened to you if somebody came after you over an action you did 20 30 fucking years ago so when cyan said that the other day a lot of people in the comments said i don't know what you're thinking joey's giving him light you know and he we laughed we giggled i didn't leave a comment but that's the truth brother i was just trying to give him fucking light i don't like what's been done to him and you know what's been done to him and you know
Starting point is 00:33:46 what the LA times is one thing you know I understand Hollywood movies I understand sponsors on a podcast but when your own are turning you into the fucking wolves that's what pisses me to fuck off that's when I that this and every time I see somebody make a remark towards Chris or something I send them a message hey man how you're holding up how you keeping your chin up don't fucking listen to for those fucking guys. They're all going to have their hey day. This is part of being a friend.
Starting point is 00:34:21 This is what friendship entails. You got to pick a side sometimes. You got to pick a fucking side. If he was to stab for people and kill a grandmother, do you think I'd be checking up on him? No. But this is a story of he said, she said, nobody real.
Starting point is 00:34:37 There's one bro who said he took his dick out in Cleveland, whatever. Crystal Lee is a good dude. You know what I'm saying? He's a very handsome dude. There's a lot of things he doesn't need to do To attract fucking women I'm not calling them lies
Starting point is 00:34:51 I'm not saying nothing I'm just telling you from all the facts I've gathered As a human being As a criminal and as a comic Christa Lee is okay by my eyes So you guys want to keep fucking throwing fucking sand on them And burying them
Starting point is 00:35:07 Fuck you What do you want me to tell them to go and hide Fuck you You don't hide from fucking nobody If we did it we did it We did it. We stand up and we tell our explanation and why we did it. And that's it. If you don't like it, go fuck yourself. If you can live with it, you live with it.
Starting point is 00:35:23 Listen, let me tell you a very fucking story here, a very special story, okay? I love animals. I don't know. When I was about four, I became enamored with animals. And then when I was about six, I saw Juan throw a beat on a guy for hitting an animal. And I got the whole underculture of the Cuban dogs, why you don't have dogs in Cuba. because they're protected by St. Lazaro and all this shit. That's all great and dandy. But I saw an abused dog once.
Starting point is 00:35:55 I saw some kids when I was a kid like fucking a dog that was burnt. And I remember how my stomach felt. And I remember that between you and I, I was too much of a pussy to go back and hit him when I had with a fucking brick. But thinking about it today in the third grade, this happened in In 1973 in New York City, like on Riverside Drive. If I would have had the balls I had today, I should have hit those kids with a brick in the head
Starting point is 00:36:22 and fucking smash their heads for lighting this dog's tail on fire or some shit. I was so pissed at myself that night. So I've never been happy on dog, cat abuse, animal abuse. Listen, I get it. I get it that you buy a dog, and all of a sudden your wife gets pregnant, and she's scared of that breed of dog, and you've got to get rid of them. I get all that. and you take them down to a shelter.
Starting point is 00:36:45 I don't get you leaving them on a post and leaving them outside. I don't get you fucking tying them to some fucking street or moving and leaving them in the backyard. That's not cool in my world, and that's animal abuse. And in my neighborhood, that's a fucking... Those are charges to get beat up. Like, people in my neighbor will beat you up for that. Not me. I just mind my business.
Starting point is 00:37:11 But what I'm trying to say to you is, when I was a kid I saw these guys burn that dog and I heard him cry and till this day you know I'm a fucking piece of shit for not going back and hitting one of those kids in the head with a fucking brick but
Starting point is 00:37:25 that's not the story the story was 10 years ago 20 years ago 15 years ago Michael Vic gets in trouble for the fucking dogs right away I go fucking ass silent about Michael Vic it's dogs
Starting point is 00:37:41 there's no excuse I read a few of the articles. There's no fucking excuse. But I wanted to see. I wanted to see the hand he was going to play, you know, and he took his lumps. He took his salary loss. He paid his fines. He did his time. And he talks to people now about dogfighting and the dangers of and he inspires and whatnot. Now, what am I supposed to do? what is a guy like me supposed to do? Do I get on Facebook and Twitter and say, fuck Michael Vic, don't let him get into the Hall of Fame because 10 years ago, I read what he did,
Starting point is 00:38:23 he electrocuted the dogs, I read, drowned him, I read all that stuff. But now, where does this put me? So I really, really, really had to think about this. Like, where does this put me as a human being? Am I going to be a hypocrite? And sign this petition?
Starting point is 00:38:42 and not let him make the Hall of Fame. Let me just think about this. Let me just think about this. And I prayed on it and I thought about it, believe it or not. And it's like, how can I not? Because a crime is a crime. Rape, kidnapping, dog abuse, child abuse. A crime is a crime.
Starting point is 00:39:05 The extent of a crime is, you know, however you consider it. In my world, a crime is a fucking crime. okay uh killing dogs you know this is america white people with sandals love their dogs you're going under the prison for a while um i was mad at michael vick you know as a personal you know not that i would state it or whatever but he did his time he paid his fines um you know i haven't heard any more involvement with fucking dogs or michael vick you know so in my heart because I was forgiven by people after I did what I did. What I did was no, yeah, we goof around it here.
Starting point is 00:39:53 Ha, ha, ha, he, it's a joke. But what I did was also a crime. So how can I not forgive Michael Vick on a personal level if people forgave me? And most importantly, I forgave myself. So what I did was I started watching whatever Michael Vick, you know, does like the NFL network or something for some. once in a while and I just started watching him I started looking at his eyes and watching him and you know what man he was a young kid with an all went down they
Starting point is 00:40:23 threw a ton of money on him you know it's like taking a 25 year old kid in Hollywood and throwing a bunch of money off off to off to him and let's see where this goes you know for some people it's drugs for some people it's you know Charlie Sheen fucking 20 hookers and porno girls For fucking Michael Vic, it was dogfighting. And that was his mistake. You know, I hope he's not doing it anymore. But I was forced to forgive Michael Vic.
Starting point is 00:40:55 Why? Because I was forgiven. How can I forgive everybody else? I was on Mike Tyson's podcast. Another guy that got convicted of raped, okay? Convicted a rape. You ever see Mike Tyson on a fucking plane? It's like a party.
Starting point is 00:41:09 You ever see Mike Tyson walk through an airport? Everybody loves him because everybody felt it was a sham of a fucking call this rape you know i've heard different stories about the rape and whatnot they don't sound that damaging to me it's not going to make me Mike Tyson or dislike
Starting point is 00:41:29 Mike Tyson I became friends with Mike Tyson maybe three four years ago talking little by little I watched all his footage of you're going to fucking suck my dick I'm going to eat you when he was yelling at the white Now it's a, what do you think of the things I say?
Starting point is 00:41:46 You know, he's from Brooklyn. I'm from New York City, Jersey. I'm the same fucking type of madman. I say some crazy shit, too. I have anger and issues in my heart. You know, I was talking a few weeks ago, I'm 58, and that kid saved me because by now with a shot, like 20 of you fucking L.A. Cox up.
Starting point is 00:42:03 But I can't do that. I can't do that. I got responsibilities to my daughter. I got responsibilities to myself and to you guys. So for me to walk to walk, I got to fuck. For me to talk to talk, I got to walk. So I forgave Michael Vick. And now I feel a lot better about it. I don't even know Michael Vick. I've never even met Michael Vick. That doesn't matter. I had to use it as how am I living my life. Who the fuck am I, whatever? If you don't like Michael Vick, switch him. If Michael Vick comes on your channel, switch him. If not, then don't fucking switch them. Then shut the fuck up. If you're still, if you're still, You still mad at Michael Vic? You never committed a crime. Everybody talks about being a Christian and forgiveness. Where's your forgiveness? Where's your forgiveness? I don't expect you to forgive Harvey Weinstein. I ain't forgetting. I ain't forgiving that motherfucker. And I ain't forgive him fucking the yoga guy, the hot yoga guy, whatever, Kishner with his stinky fucking hummus balls, making stupid white girl suck his dick to learn fucking downward dog. How retarded are you? You know? I'm not mad at these, I mean, I am mad at these fucking guys.
Starting point is 00:43:16 They have nothing to do with me. They have nothing to do with my world, but I also have to look at that felonious side. And I was a felon at one time. And how much, how many breaks did people give me? I still remember all the people that didn't give me brace because I was a felony. Shame on them. Shame on them. They didn't really get to know me.
Starting point is 00:43:35 You know, like I said, if I came on here and go, welcome to the pilot, Uncle Joey's joint. I just got out of prison for doing kidnapping. I'm giving you the opportunity right there To either turn me on or keep me the fuck on what do you want to do? You don't like me? You like me? You don't like me? You don't like me? Keep me on or turn me the fuck off If from there you like me then we're all the way in don't come back at me three years and I'm going to go Yeah, but you kick not the guy you knew that in the fucking beginning stupid That's why I couldn't believe that they came up with that thing
Starting point is 00:44:05 It's like that kid a couple of weeks ago that was robbing me on YouTube So you're making copies, you're going to producers, you're calling people, you're my brother biggest fan. I tell you you can't rob me no more. Now you got secret videos of us doing coke in the studio in 2016. Oh, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. La force del destino. Anyway, I don't know what that means. It's the force of destiny. That's what that means. Who the fuck am I kidding? I used to always know it. I used to also know
Starting point is 00:44:37 how to say that in German, but it's been a while since I watched that episode a fucking the odd couple boys I was saying before yeah I still talk to Delea and I'll still talk to Calhoun
Starting point is 00:44:51 if he calls me until you come up with that fucking guilty plea on any of my fucking friends or you come up and you press charges you have fucking charges then I'll start looking into the case
Starting point is 00:45:04 until then I'm not believing you I know these people I don't know you I don't know you you could have came out anywhere and opened your mouth and tried to say this guy raped you 20 fucking years ago 20 years ago so in my world listen i always have to give people a second chance because i was given a second chance and how would that what type of person would it make me be if i didn't learn to give people a second chance or to even come to you people to you people
Starting point is 00:45:34 to give somebody a second chance to throw in a towel on them because i'm telling you this was not done correctly and I ask questions you know let's be honest with each other three four weeks after it all went down I knew how he was feeling why because I had been there I reached out to him and I said come by in the office let's sit outside I didn't call him to get a podcast out of him I didn't call him to get the scoop review because I just wanted to talk to to him, man. I want to talk to him. Because where I come from, here it is, plain and simple. If you kill somebody, come to me. Tell me a story. Tell me the truth. Don't miss a detail. Don't miss a detail. And I got your back on your 50%. You know what Chris Delea did? He came over. He spoke to me,
Starting point is 00:46:34 and he didn't miss a detail. I shook his hand. I gave him a hug. I think he I seen him once again after that. Never asked him about a podcast. Never said nothing. I just wanted to rap with him. Just wanted to rap with him, just to see where he was at. I could tell from there,
Starting point is 00:46:53 and I could tell where the kid was at. He was brokenhearted, and he's not worried about money. He didn't care about money. He was brokenhearted because three quarters of the shit that was saying were bullshit. And the other quarter of the heart that he was brokenhearted about was how his friends turned on him.
Starting point is 00:47:10 You know? A lot of people turned on me when I fucking got in trouble with Bella. A lot of people have turned on me in their lives. And you know what? At the end of the day, sometimes, I'm happy they didn't. I'm happy. And that's what I told them, be happy. You didn't want them around anyway.
Starting point is 00:47:26 I'm happy they turned on them. And every other day I turn on the computer to somebody else fucking busting his balls about something. And I'm happy. I'm happy that you guys get to see what Hollywood is about and what people are about. and you know, and now you get to see what I'm about. I'm an old school of dog. Unless I see the blue paperwork with the charges, I don't give a fuck what you got to say.
Starting point is 00:47:51 Or what you're going to tell me about in 1983 or 1985? Or we were in acting class in 93. And you didn't decide to call the cops then? And then you took his movie after he gave you a movie. Ah, you know. You know what I'm saying? It's like my boy. The one that broke into the fucking White House
Starting point is 00:48:12 that looked like the unga bunga man. And his mother. Yeah, he's not eating because they have no organic food. Hello? Once you broke the law, you got no rights. You got to eat dog shit with fuck. You got to eat. If they give you a dog shit pole boy, that's what you're eating.
Starting point is 00:48:30 You know why I don't want to go back to jail? Because I ain't going to see that sleep apnea for three weeks. That sleep apnea machine, they don't give a fuck about. So if you walk into prison like hi, Here's my sleep apnea machine. They're going to go throw that in the fucking garbage. We don't give a fuck about your sleep apnea machine. You should have thought about your sleep apnea machine
Starting point is 00:48:47 before you walked up those fucking White House Capitol steps. Or before you put that dude in the trunk of a car, or before you sold Coke, or before you fucking stabbed your wife, or before he did any of those things. You should have thought about your organic diet behind jail. So he's not eating for five days because that's an organic diet. I don't even think there's vegan motherfucking diets in jail yet.
Starting point is 00:49:09 I know what some of the nicer ones, you know, they'll give you a banana or a carrot or something like that, but I don't think they're even playing with the vegans. Once you go to prison, you lose all that shit. There's some prisons you don't even get a pillow at. You don't even get a pillow at. You just got a sheet of paper. It's a cold fucking bed.
Starting point is 00:49:27 And all night you're on your fucking arm. And every 20 minutes you've got to switch fucking arms because your shoulders get fucking tight. And this guy's worried about organic food. If you were such a tough guy, you wouldn't be eating fucking organic food. Anyway, fuck nut, breaking into the fucking White House, and your mom is calling three weeks later.
Starting point is 00:49:45 He's not eating. Who gives a fuck? He should have thought about that before. They don't serve fucking smoothies in prison, bitch. Just sperm spoolies. Trust me, you'll love those. If you like a fucking... The Brazilian bowl,
Starting point is 00:50:01 wait until you take fucking fruit-flavored sperm in prison. The brothers give that out. The nice white kids. Tremendous fucking organic food. in prison. Are you fucking retarded? This is the shit that... So you wanted to commit a crime and now you're mad
Starting point is 00:50:17 because they don't have a gallon. What do you think they got for breakfast? Cresence in prison? You got a butted roll with an ant going through it. That's it. And you eat it and you bite the ant because you don't know when you're going to eat again. You bite that app because that ant is protein. You understand what I'm trying to say to you motherfuckers? But you can believe the times we're in?
Starting point is 00:50:35 He's not eating because because he's he needs an organic diet I'm like what the fuck are people thinking anymore it's getting ugly out there guys but with this and that
Starting point is 00:50:53 we said what we came to fucking say today on a fucking Thursday morning I'm not here to take up your whole morning I just want to talk to you about my situation with the surgery listen guys I did this surgery for my daughter so I could walk better in the years to come you know we can live as a fucking family and uh i thought we would take this week off
Starting point is 00:51:16 i really i didn't want to say anything it was going to be day to day with mike but you know what man fuck that i knew that you guys needed me i knew that you guys depend on me if you're on patreon i gave you an extra joey dears project this week just out of respect for covering for the fucking new year's thing somebody sent me the tape we found the fucking the link the link from New Year's, it's there. But it's all fucked up. So I don't know. I tried to send it to you.
Starting point is 00:51:44 We could do something on. I was to do some Chinese fucking video on there for you. Of me just letting you know. But it was two weeks ago. I give you another surprise this weekend. You never know. But yeah, I'm on Patreon. I gave you Uncle Joey's project today.
Starting point is 00:51:58 Just a little gift. Just a little thank you for understanding. And for everybody else, I'll take care of you my way also. I don't want you to fucking think I'm beating you here for nothing. and I'm pumping out content every day, and I'm here for you. Like I said, on my Joey Dears project, the emails have gotten so much better.
Starting point is 00:52:19 So I know that your lives have gotten better. My life has gotten better. My stress levels have gotten down. My eyes have opened a little more. I know where I'm going to be. The emails have gotten a lot better, guys. I'm so happy you're doing well, you know. October, November.
Starting point is 00:52:37 I was getting nothing before. fucking bad emails and I was answering them all trying to you know take the steps of here but we're here and I got to tell you it's the second week of January and I've been getting emails lately to the clean nobody's I mean I'm getting like one out of eight emails it was eight out of eight we're all bad now I'm getting one out of eight you know I'm feeling better my dad's getting healthy my mom's COVID went away so thank you guys thank you for paying attention Thank you for writing the journals Thank you for
Starting point is 00:53:09 You know making your goals for 2021 These are all going to come in To help you, okay Like I said No disrespect my man Zion Zee I love you to death I love to smoke a joint with you some day I think you're a blast
Starting point is 00:53:23 I love your giggle under when you When you say shit about people You have that little giggling shit And I fucking love it That let me know in the comments Yeah let me know below in the comments That lets me know that you have no malice in your heart.
Starting point is 00:53:37 You're doing a great job and you got 100% support for me. He lives off tips on that. So give him a tip on there, give him a 10, give him a 20. He's got some interesting stuff to say. But that's it and that's that. Like I said, I'm sorry about the surgical week.
Starting point is 00:53:55 I'm a lot better than what I thought I would be, to be honest with you. And thank you for all the love and support. I want to thank Draft Kings this week. I want to thank Stamps.com. I want to thank CBD Lion. I want to thank ZipRecruiter. I want to thank Blue Choo.
Starting point is 00:54:14 I want to thank Honit, all my sponsors. And I want to thank you guys for always having our backs. Thank you very much. See you Monday, nice and early. Tip Top, Magoo, ready to go. I love you guys. Thank you. All right.
Starting point is 00:54:28 Thank you again for listening on a Thursday. I'm sorry about this weekend. I had the fuck in the surgery. and it threw the whole week off, but, you know, every day I'm getting stronger and better. Thank you for all the well-wishes, and you guys brought me back on your own with a love. But before we leave, I want to talk to you a little bit about stamps.com.
Starting point is 00:54:47 Tremendous. My wife has been with them for 20 years, 10 years, whatever the fuck, 10 years. Listen, for T-shirts, cups, they're solid. You call the mailman, you leave the packages outside, right by the mail box, and the mailman picks it up for you. It's that easy. One thing we learned in 2020 is that the internet is fucking awesome. It's more awesome than when we ever thought.
Starting point is 00:55:11 You can order everything on there. And of course, you could go to the post office online with stamps.com. Stamps.com allows businesses of all sizes to do all their mailing and shipping right from their computer. No need to leave the house or office or home office. They've saved small businesses, thousands of hours, and tons of Gitas. And now you can save them to. My wife and I are the only things around. We got the kid.
Starting point is 00:55:37 We don't have time to be going to post office back and forth standing on lines. She prints all the labels right there, the shipping. I mean, it's tremendous. If you're not working with Stamps.com, you're wasting a ton of time. Because, like I said, they bring the post office to you. To you. Skip the line. You print the posters 24-7.
Starting point is 00:55:59 Any letter, any size package going anywhere in the world right from your couch. And the best part, here it is. The mailman will come and pick it up, like I told you. You also get great discounts. You get five cents off every first class stamp and up to 40% off priority mail. Plus, save up to 62% on UPS rates. Guys, stamps.com is an old brain.
Starting point is 00:56:22 I'm telling you from the heart, especially now. I don't care what size business you have. You're going to save time and money. So make 2021 the year you stop wasting time going to the post office and go to Stamps.com instead. There's no risk with my code Joey and get a special offer that includes a five-week 12-hour plus free postage and digital scale.
Starting point is 00:56:45 No long-term commitments or contracts. It's very easy. Just go to Stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage, and pressing Joey, and boom, Stamps.com is yours. You'll never go to the fucking post office again. Stamps.com is the way to go, code Joey.
Starting point is 00:57:03 The joint is also brought to you by today, Thursday, Draft Kings. I got a TNT doubleheader tonight. I got two other games that got soft lines, and you're sitting there worried about, the numbers are doubling in Delaware. Who gives the Frenchmen's fuck? The numbers are doubling in your fucking pocket. Why?
Starting point is 00:57:23 Because you're with draft kings, motherfuckers. Sports are in full swings. There's no shortage of action. Like I said, we're going to get you started to Canada on Thursday night. You're going to make more. money this fucking weekend with a parlay on Thursday, one college game Friday, and then you got the pros. Let me tell you what happens on Saturday with the pros.
Starting point is 00:57:43 Draft Kings has got you covered. Pick, bet any football game that's got, there's four football games this weekend. Pick any of them. And you got 100 to one odds. That's right. All you got to do is bet a dollar on any football game this weekend for a chance to win 100 bucks. Plus the basketball season is tipped off and the lines are still soft.
Starting point is 00:58:03 So head to the Sportsbook app right now, Draft Kings app right now, to check out that daily odds boost. And if you haven't signed up yet, what the fuck are you waiting for? Now is the time. Download the Draft King Sportsbook app today. It's safe, secure, reliable,
Starting point is 00:58:20 and guess what? It's your motherfucking money. Deposit and withdraw at your convenience. Download the top rated Draft King Sportsbook app now. Use promo code joy when you sign up to get 100 to 1,000 to 1% odds on any football game this weekend. That's code Joey for new players to get a shot at 100 to one odds on any football action this weekend. And guess what? By fucking after tomorrow
Starting point is 00:58:45 night's parley and Friday night's action, your bankroll is going to be on fire. You're going to have some chick over Saturday night sucking your big COVID style. You ever get a COVID blow job yet? Tremendous. They don't breathe out of their nose. They either fucking breathe out of their mouth or they die. It's a beautiful weekend. It's Draft Kings type weekend. And this is going on for a limited time only, 100 to 1. So here's the part the lawyers make me say. You've got to be 21 old. New Jersey, Indiana, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Colorado, restrictions apply.
Starting point is 00:59:15 See draftkings.com slash sportsbook for details. Now, do we have a gambling problem? There's help. 1-800 gambler, and if you're in Indiana, 1-809 with it. But if you're not to kiss a debt, download the Draft King Sportsbook app. Use code Joey and cashing on this deal this weekend. I'm saving your money already. Draftspot.
Starting point is 00:59:39 Fucking Stamps.com and Draft Kings. There you go. Now you can, when you win from draft kings, you can mail your rent with stamps.com. Who's better than Joey? Gag, got, got, got, got it. Anyway, it's the second week of January, you still got a limp dick
Starting point is 00:59:53 and goals to get pussy. It's over. You know why? Because Uncle Joey showed up with Blue Chew. It's all about a big dick and attitude. and after this fucking podcast you're gonna have both those things covered. You're like, Joey, what's Blue Chew?
Starting point is 01:00:06 It's the first chewable dick pill. Same FDA approved active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis. This is some fucking funny pill you buy off fucking Pablo at the liquor store and too much fucking later your left eye won't stop twitching. It's not that type of party.
Starting point is 01:00:24 Blue Chewers are prescribed online by licensed physicians so you don't have to go to the doctor's office and wait in line at the pharmacy like a putts and make eye contact with the girl and now she knows you got limp dick you don't need this activation and it ships right to your daughter discrete package nobody knows nothing they think you're getting a fucking envelope from some grandma or something blue chew is even cheaper than the pharmacy and you can take them any time day or night even on a full stomach
Starting point is 01:00:51 so right now i got a special offer for the joint visit bluechew dot com that's bluechew dot com and get your first shipment free. You're like, Joey, it's the beginning of the year. You're free, free! That's how we start. You're single. You ain't slinging dick. Your wife walks around covering her face
Starting point is 01:01:11 like she just walked out of amistad. You need that. Go get bluechoo.com right now. It's blue. Again, that's blue chew. B-L-U-E, like the color of your dick once you hit you, before you hit you. Listen, I don't care if you're gay.
Starting point is 01:01:26 Let me tell you something. If you're gay, you're going to be busting assholes. is Blue Choo. So this is for you too. Why should I say women? You might hit some guy named Little Pete in the head with your dick. That's not what I'm into, but I don't care what you're into. Blue Choo just want you to be happy. So go to Blue Chude right now. Use Code Joey, all right? And thank you for continuing to sponsor my show. I want to thank Bluatu. I want to thank Stamps.com. And I want to thank the Kings, Draft Kings, for putting some money in your motherfucking pocket this weekend. I love you guys. Sorry about this week. We'll be back
Starting point is 01:02:00 Monday morning. Tip-top Magoo. Ready to light a homeless motherfucker on fire. Stay black. Be great. And that's it. I love you, cock suckers.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.