The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - 03/04/2013 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #61

Episode Date: March 7, 2013

Joey's childhood friend Billy calls in to talk about their basketball days. This podcast is brought to you by Onnit.com. Use Promo chode CHURCH for a discount. Streamed live on 03/04/2013

Oh, motherfucking shit. Fuck Monday night football. It's Monday night, the church of what's happened now. Special fucking edition, way before ESPN, even dream of having a fucking special edition. You know what's going on tonight. Monday night, special night. I got to travel, so I got to do two odd nights.

I couldn't leave you hanging on Monday. I couldn't fucking let you down. Monday is when it all goes down. Welcome, motherfuckers. Oh shit We're gonna leave Are you fucking kidding me or what? March 4th

2013 Get your shit together Get the fucking rifle of bazooka It's over February is gone January's got You want to turn the fucking music off I'm over here

Every time I turn the music off He'd say kick it again I turn it up We have a system It's fucking 61 now And now you're gonna break the system What am I supposed to do with you? Don't make me stick your fucking finger in that blend of Coxson.

You'll be like one of those Japanese jacuzas with no finger drinking fucking juice for no reason. How are you guys doing? It's a beautiful fucking day to be alive. I know it's Monday night, but what are you going to do? At least we're here. I got to travel this week, so I couldn't do the Monday and Wednesday morning format. And then fucking Lee called me. They changed his hours.

He's on the fucking 7 to 7. He's on the chain gang. So he's all right. But he's still juicing. How are you feeling, congen? I feel great. I feel awesome. I like this Monday night part.

This I like. It feels good. You know what? By the time it hits iTunes, it'll be Wednesday. And I'll get your fucking Wednesday, jazzed up. You'll leave the house like a motherfucking doctor. Because that's what it's all about. You know what I did today, Lee? What? Dick. Who gotts?

That's what I fucking did today. Who gots? I took care of a kid. I had some family coming to town. So I spent some time with them. I went to get some lunch with them. I hung up with the wife. The kid, you know, I'm leaving for a fucking 10 days.

So I wanted to do it. the right thing and hang out with them. And, you know, it was great. It really was. This girl who came to visit was going to stay with my wife and her mother and the whole thing, I grew up with her brother. We were solid. We went to fucking offense, defense football camp. Okay. And I told you, going into junior year, he died.

And I lost contact with the family. They were fucking heartbroken. He died drowning. That was like your best friend, right? Yeah, from T.H.C. Crystal, which was AKA Gorilla Biscuits, aka Pink Floyd Dust aka Angel fucking Dust so they contacted me I probably got in contact with her

2006 she contacted me when I was on Tom Micas and we've been tired ever since and the mothers come on and they've come to my shows so they came over the house today and before they came over I kind of felt weird because I'm eight years older than Vita and you know when I was 12

she was whatever fuck four on my block running around and here she is a woman and the mother you know I know from the funeral the whole fucking deal and now they're coming over to my house and they're seeing the baby for the first time and it was just it fucked with me for a little while but why it make you feel weird wouldn't it make you feel happy they've been there since uh they saw they know my mother you know oh okay they we were even eating lunch and they were talking about how religious my mother was to an extent and the saints she had and all that shit so it's just creepy for a minute that

these people knew the whole thing and now they see me and uh it just always creeps me out. I don't want people to see the finish result, but they were happy. They got to talk to my wife, and that's all that fucking matters. Are they out here? Are they out here? She used to live out here. Vita used to live out here and go to school. I was going to have a call to a podcast tonight, but it was too much.

It's too much. Her brother died, and until this day she misses him. I mean, dirty fucking years later. He died in 79. Wow. But he died from just weird shit, you know, and they blamed it on THC, and whatever the fuck happened, he's not with us anymore.

You know, the older brother doesn't talk to me. I wasn't even there. I wasn't even at the place where he drowned that day. It wasn't me. It wasn't about me at all. But they were over the house, and to see those people just waste a lot of feelings that you have with a child.

Like I said, she's eight years younger than me. I remember her following us to the woods to light fucking trees on fire and to break up the loot. We robbed a van one time, and she fucking not robbed the van and drove it, but took the shit out of the van and turned up in the woods and hit it.

And she followed us. I've never forget that. I've always asked her about it. Remember when you're following us up the woods? So it was just weird to see somebody. And I have a picture of him. You've seen it a thousand times when you come over to do the podcast. Yeah.

I had his eighth grade picture. I still have it. And I look at it every morning. And I think about he's not here. But what would he do? You know, if I wasn't here, would he look at this picture and get strength from it? So it's weird. It's just a weird thing for me that I kept in touch with the family all these years.

Him and I played football together. We got high together. He got a little crazy. He got a little crazy right before my mother died for that year after that. He died in 79 also. No, he died in 80. Oh, okay. He died 10 months after my mom.

So it was a double whammy for a fucking guy like me. But, you know what, we move on. And it was funny because I was telling him how I'm taking a baptizing the baby in Jersey at Our Lady of Fatima, a church in North Bergen. And she looked at me and she goes, that's where they had Dominic's last church. You know, his funeral. So it's all in the fucking family. We do what the fuck we do.

It's Monday, Lee. Where's the song of Monday? Little Tony Bennett, get everybody going. Fuck it. This is it, Lee. What's the piano kind of saying? I wait till you stopped off. I brought two bats of life at least. Look at these, two of these motherfuck.

And for people who don't realize it, we smoked before this. So it's not like I'm fucking waiting. Stop, Lee. Stop Lee. I want to be around. Oh, shit, Lee. Sing it, Lee. To pick up the pieces.

Oh, my God. God, here we go. When somebody breaks your heart. Come on, guys, let's do this right. If we're going to fucking do it, let's do this fucking right. Monday night, March 4th, you got food, you got Riefer, your chick's there with a fucking flip-pops on. You're thinking about eating that fucking monkey.

It's Monday night, whatever time it is. Maybe they're asleep. You're thinking of going in there and tackling that fucking ass from behind that. Women like when you go in there and put that fucking nose in their muffler leaves. Sniff that motherfucker out. Pop that helmet in there. Pop goes the weasel because the weasel goes pop.

It's fucking Monday night. You said, we just break out the reefer. We're sitting here. We got a couple people calling in. We got some people coming by. We got my girl in the living room. She might buggy for us tonight. We got to talk her into it.

She wants to dance. She would do it. She's a good girl. I like her. She's funny. He's got a roommate and he ain't fucking tackling her or nothing. Lee's a good dude. He's got some, you know, you meet some people

that got no fuck. fucking mortals. Lee, you got morals. For a Jew, you got morals. For a Jew, some Jews got no fucking morals. They'll sell you a sneaker that's been used. I tell you it's brand fucking new. I used to go down to that street,

the Delancey Street. When I was a kid, those Jews were fucking treacherous, though. That's a good word. Treacherous. Treacherous fucking Jews down there. If you got there, first though, they had to do business with you because it was bad luck if they didn't say you something. So that was the whole goal. You had to get to Delancey Street like at 3 a.m.

to beat the other Jews. Oh, yeah, yeah. You said the first, because. The first customer of the day. You got to sell it with bad fucking love. Joshua don't show up that day. What's his name, Jeremiah? Elijah.

Elijah don't show up that day with a fucking checkbook. I got Eminem's. It's like a fucking trick candle of a birthday party. I keep lighting. It keeps turning on. It's not to go right to the resources and spark the bat of life up. What do you think? Oh shit.

I like it. Oh shit. I was working. You worked a 12-hour shift. Yeah, I'm fucking in the... Tell these people what you do. What did you do today at work? I'm an assistant.

An assistant to the assistant or you're an assistant? A lot of people fucking lie and they should tell me, listen, I'm the assistant to the assistant to the assistant editor. It's not like that. You just one editor. No, I'm, it's a, it's a, it's a basic, it's tech,

it's tech support basically. So I get stuff ready for the editors because there's fucking hours and hours of footage. So yeah, it's just we're in the middle of two, the show on film two seasons at once. And, uh, they're running 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

And, yeah, I mean, it's a little bit, I don't want to say it boring, but it gets tedious after a while because it's, you want to be doing the real thing. But it's a good way to learn. You're working. Yeah. I mean, fucking people ain't working in this country. A lot. I mean, a cup and a fucking, and some lipstick on. Fuck it.

You know what I'm saying? A cup and some lipstick on. That means they're out there banging out. Yeah, the one, and you understand it on a larger scale. than me, but it's kind of freaky. Like, I'll never have a full-time job all the time. Like, this job

ends in, like, a month or two, and I have to find a new one, and it's kind of scary. But it's just the... You're living on the fucking edge like Bon Jovi in 87. Who the fuck are you kidding? That's how you... What do you want? A job that you know where you're going every fucking day? You're living like a secret agent.

You're there until May, and then in May you're fucking decide something else, and you get another mission, correct? Yeah. All right, then. Then what the fuck? You're going to You got your green shirt on, you got your goggles, your fucking earphones. What can I say? Well, you kidding. You get another mission. At least, can you imagine this is at the fucking same place?

I know people have the same job every day, but that was one of my motivators. I remember, like, early on, I was like, you know what? I don't like a computer job, but not even computers, but no fucking computer. I like a desk job and writing numbers and taking bets over the phone. I liked it, but I really like being outside. I always like the sun. I like moving outside. So a little construction, so you got to find a job that gives you a boat.

Maybe you mow the lawn and your fucking files. taxes or something. Fuck, man. You've never broken a sweat in a job. You would die to give you a shovel. No, I worked at restaurants and movie theaters and stores and... Restaurants. Yeah.

What did you do in the restaurant? Eat the fucking food to back. Fuck you. You were in the back, eating all the fucking leftovers. When they tell you a doggy bag, they'll leave two ribs you eat. You can put back one. Don't be fucking... No, I was a server at Legal Seafoods for...

When was three years? Back in... You were like me. Listen, I was a dishwasher, right? It was one steak for them, one steak for me. Disch-washers? I was a dishwasher. at the time, what's his name?

The guy that died, I've said it a thousand times. The guy from Colorado, Rocky Mountain High. Oh, oh. Bob Dendon. It's called the Tower Restaurant. And they all saw Coke. All their chefs were Coke dealers. So the one guy, he used to tell me, Prime Rib Night.

He goes, we need a dishwasher. You just come up. You pick up a buck 50. And I used to lift weights and shit. So he goes, you eat fucking Prime Rib all night like a doctor. Yeah. So I'd go up there. Well, then they wanted to teach me how to prep.

I don't like knives. I would cut my finger and faint. straight away from fucking knives and making soups and shit I wasn't good at that stuff I like to smoke a nothing and just fucking wash dishes But they get so hot back there

I like I like being a server I like talking to people So I was good at it Oh I love fucking restaurants You eat I wish I could work in a restaurant Who would hire Who would hire guys like me They know intake's gonna go down

They know French fries You're gonna go missing And fried shrimp Well not like Well that stuff they hide But like rolls And like the small stuff you can I used to get like free clam chatter

Oh Their clam chowder is so fucking good What's that? Legal seafood? In Boston? Yeah, I worked at one in Boston and I worked at one in Framingham. How many cops a day? G.

That clam shot. It's not every day because it's too heavy. You were fucking juicing with that. Who you fucking did? You know what was the best though? I guarantee you got clams in your asshole still coming out from legal Z-food. You're fucking that juice.

The best thing I got for free was the rolls to do they fresh break the rolls like every 10 minutes. And the chef told me you take your thumbs and you cut a hole in it and you stick a pat of butter and I close it. Oh, that's how I do it. Oh. And it melts.

It steams the fucking thing by itself. That was the best. It's like an English muffin. You put that button and close that motherfucker. You burn it. Ooh. Yeah. Crispy.

Ooh. Oochus, mouchus. That's good eating right there. Oh, yeah. It's awesome. You used to work at a restaurant. You'd be back there fucking eating jim jums. Jum jums.

I was, listen, I used to work Tuesday night. And they gave me like Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday was prime rib night, so I ate all the mistakes. I would eat the horseradish. The odors that come out of your ass, when you eat horse radish, it's a different level of fun. Oh, yeah. And if you add, like, horse razz, and then you add that shit they give you a Benihana, that sauce that you dip the shrimp in. Oh, yeah.

That's a different level of farting, too. Oh, I love that stuff. Oh, I love it. It's like going to eat at that at a garlic restaurant in L.A. Have you been to that? No, what's that? They have garlic restaurants. I forget the name of the only of L.A.

It's just garlic? That's it. You go in there, and the first thing they give you is garlic bread and a ball of garlic, and you squeeze each garlic out until the garlic bread and eat. Oh, my God. They have garlic appetizers and garlic meat and garlic pudding and garlic pudding and garlic. and garlic soda and you can't make plans when you fucking leave there

because you're like at one time I had a showcase like an agency and I had a party there and I went over to the air and I couldn't even talk to the people I was reeking and if one of those garlic droplets

hit you on the fucking shirt they reek you smell like a fucking one of those people that smells like onions I don't want to give no nationality groups out there you know what I'm saying I'm trying to change your fucking lent

so what was the other one oh it's delicious to meet everything, but the first fart, when you go to a garlic restaurant, the first ball, you're like, when you go to the bathroom, it's like the garlic colligulates your shit.

So when you first go to the bathroom, your asshole stretches from this big ball of garlic. Oh, my God, it smells horrific, fucking horrific. But you live and you learn. You know what I'm saying? Who the fucking might tell a lie? I got to push to push.

Hope the cracker gets crushed. What the fuck? A little public enemy on this motherfucker. Oh, shit. On a Monday night. Yeah, you never been to the garlic? I forget the fucking name of it, right? But the other day I went to a Roma, the place on Sunset.

That's a great place. Where they sell the machine guns in the back. They don't know what fuck about anybody. They sell machine guns, grenades, rocket launches, MPCs, MPCs. They have a garlic beef that is better than Fogo the Chows. Really? Oh, like the Foggo de Chows comes with that garlic, whatever.

No, not the stick. I forget what the name of the... Whatever. Anyway. But they have... a garlic beef fog with the child. It's delicious. This place makes it a little thinner. Off the fucking chain.

I didn't know they have real food. I couldn't talk to nobody for two fucking days. Because in Israel it's just like a coffee stand. It's like even they have like little mini ones and they have actual like stores. Aromas? Yeah. But I didn't know they have like actual food food. They have desserts off the chain.

You know, my first, second time I went in, I went in any bravo probably three or four years ago. You know, that place used to be a Denny's filled with crack codes. 15 years ago, if you went in there at night, at 2 in the morning, you fucking leave. That's about everybody. Still, it was like that show on Deadwood. What is that show on AMC with the fucking zombies? Oh, yeah. That's what it was.

Walking Dead, yeah. It was walking dead. It was gross in there. One night I sat there at a booth, none of the booths. A chair that spins around. Okay. On the counter, yeah. And there was a guy fingering, a fucking fat crack hole.

A white one to boot. I don't mind like a black crack hole. This was a fucking white guy. which is like, you know, and she was fat, and she had bruises on her leg. Like somebody was picking her to drop the cookies. Drop those cookies, your fat fuck. This was a fat white crack hole with like green peat. And she was with another white dude that was nasty, and he was fingering her.

And it wasn't like he was fingering. It was like he had like three hands. He was like karate chopper. The Taekwondo people have that move, like a Kwanso where it goes in this way. Your hand is pointing vertical instead of horizontal. on to her and it was like he was just like putting her and she was eating oh he's fingering like putting his whole fucking hand in a fucking fat crack hole snatch and she's eating and whatever and i couldn't believe it so she said and buy me some food and i'll let you finger

me it i don't know what the fucking deal was i don't know if they were together i don't know if they were smoking crack i know she was a fucking crack cold when i see one right she was chubbed up and she wasn't like you know you see a white cracker they're usually all skinny and missing a tooth she had some milk to her but i could tell she was a cracker i mean you could see it in her face you could see it on her She was cracked up. Jesus. I smoked crack. Really?

Yep. How do you feel? I smoked crack for about fucking six months. Six months? Yeah, in 99, 98. So you were here? No, it had to be 2000. The end of 2000, the end of 2001.

Jesus. Because me and Terry used to live on Schrader. Yeah. But that street in between sunset and Shred. Hollywood Boulevard. I forget the name of it isn't. That's how long ago I lived there. Sierra Benina? No, no. It's a side street there. They used to sell crack there. Wait, you know where Highland is? Yeah. Where the Batman and all those fucking people stay? Yeah. There's a side street to Jimmy Kimmel. Oh, okay. Right there on that corner, there's a building there. Yeah. They used to sell fucking crack there.

Jesus. Every fucking night, they'd be dudes there. They'd be dudes on Highland. They used to be a Kenny Rogers, that place that's there now. Used to be a Kenny Rogers chicken fucking joint. Wow. And all that street, that yucca, yucca. Yucca. They used to all sell fucking crack there. Not yuck, that's yucka market. What am I talking about?

But anyway, one night I was coming home. I was naive to it. When I left New York in 84, crack was big, but I never, I was snorting it still. I pulled up to the guy, and I go, what are you got? He didn't send it.

He just put a rocket in money, and I gave him $10. I took it home. I tried to snort it, didn't fucking work. And I realized it was cracks, so I started smoking in the can. And I liked it. the 10 bucks I kind of fucking liked it.

And I go over every fucking night and buy crack and Terry would be in the room sleep and I'd be smoke cracker. She'd go, what the fuck is that smell? And I go, it's the weed. But she fucking knew. She knew. I just wasn't using spoons and not like that to make it. Oh, okay. I was bringing it home smoking out of a can or some shit.

Do you ever do meth? To ever do meth. I've done speed. You know, I did speed when I was like 16 a couple times, like the snorting stuff. Well, meth is like the, it's like crystal. It looks like it looks like it. Then I did Ups, which are like a black beauty. That's old shit.

That's 30 years ago. And then I bought Speed one time, Crank, whatever they call it. And Boise, Idaho was working the funny bone up there. And one of the waitresses turned me out. And then I went to West Virginia one time. I did comedy, and some guy took me into the hills. And once you're there and he had no Coke, I said, I might as well do the crank.

And then one time I was with Felipe, up in one of those, fucked up towns. We talked about on Beauty and the Beast. One of those Vysalia is, one of those towns up north like that.

Okay. I should have, Fresno. It was Fresno. And we did the show and I got off and I put a package in my hand. I went back to the whole term

when it was speed. I thought it was coke. At that point, I didn't give a fuck and I did it. I must have smoked from 12 to 6 in the morning. Jesus.

It's 20 cigarettes in a pack? Yeah. I must have smoked 100 fucking cigarettes. Jesus. Just hitting that fucking. And all you got to do is one line of that shit. It's not like you do 55 fucking lines on that.

You do one line and watch TV. Your dick disappears. It goes into your nutsack. There's no whacking off. It's just this fear. And then you're tired. And you actually fall asleep for 10 seconds and all of a sudden you get up in your heart pumping. Baboom, bab boom, bab boom, bab boom, bab boom, bab boom.

Then you think you're tired. And all of a sudden, it's three days later. Oh, no, this doesn't sound fun. You know what, it isn't fucking fun. That's why it's called, what do they call it? What's the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over again The same fucking results

You know It's funny I was telling you guys And it turned into like a weird joke That I'm working on But it's very true how Cocaine You know lifted you up And I always

One night I was stoned so fucking high About a year ago And I wrote this semi thing About the evolution of cocaine And how I saw it Yeah You know in the early 80s And how it affected me

How it went from having A good time you know, to going out and having a few beers. Yeah. To isolate yourself. Like 18 months later from doing it twice a week now, like Fridays and Saturdays until three or four and going to eat and then going home to sleep. Now it becomes something else. Now you're doing it and you're doing it three times a week.

But now you're doing something you haven't done before. You're bringing home something. Oh, okay. You're bringing home a little bit. Usually meeting you would split $100, go to a bar, do some lines, drink, play some pools, go some darts. And at 4 in the morning, we do a line of piece, and we go to the fuck home. That's it. Now, I'm actually buying an extra 20 to take home with me.

Oh, okay. So now I'm staying up until 6. I got to be at work at 8. So now I start doing that one. So now I get a girlfriend who does it, and she sucks a great dick. And she lets me fucking put fingers, you know, karate chop the crack hole at Denny's. and I got her so now I got to do that

Tuesdays and Thursdays and Fridays and Saturdays now you start hanging out with people that do it so it's two couples we'll come back here we do it you go to your bedroom

and you go on the other one and we fuck and Sunday and then you go through that then you go to a different level where now it's not a gram that you need

it's an eight ball and now you're starting to get creepy like you're starting to hide it from your girlfriend this is the girl you've been with for fucking eight years you're hiding it from your girlfriend

you're looking out window, you know, you start getting paranoid that day. I never got paranoid until eight, nine years into the game. That was a complete different thing. Jesus Christ. Well, you can't leave this fucking room. You can't leave this room, like,

what would happen? I would die if you open that fucking door. Like, you know how I get? I would die if you open that door. You do two lines and start looking at that door handle that nobody would twist it. You know how sick that is? That's crazy. And that went on for 10 of fucking 10 years.

And then I got in prison. I got locked up in 88. I came out and I stayed clean. I remember doing it the first time after prison. I did it like two days before I got married. And the halfway house cut me loose. They said, do you have some way to go? And I said, yes, I lied.

I said, I could go up to the property, my in-law's property. But instead I went, they had a trailer on the property. And I bought this Coke. Lee, it was so fucking strong. And I bought a six-pack of coolest cans. And I went to that trailer. And I started fucking popping those lines. And the next thing you know, it was four hours later.

I had a big bag left to blow, and I was looking out the window. I could see snow guys. Yeah. With ropes, like jumping off trees to come get me with machine guns dressed in white with those snow army suits on. Like a James Bond, yeah. Yeah, like fucking what's his head name?

And what's that movie of Marky Warburg? Shooter. I didn't see that. And went to the snow and all that. That's what... It was the craziest thing that it got to the point where I was hallucinating on a drug that you're not supposed to fucking hallucinate on. Yeah.

How the fuck are you saying? And now you said all that stuff in Colorado I talk about, fucking throwing away four ounces. And in fact, that kid and me went back and forth for a while, but he's a fucking flake, Carl. Now, you've done other stuff, but why do you think it's, like, you would do something for six months or you'd do something a little bit. But the only thing you really stuck with was Coke and, like, weed, but that doesn't really count. Like, what was it about Coke? Like, you didn't, like, you would think you would have gone and done it. I liked where it took me.

I liked where it took me. It took me to, uh, It took me somewhere completely different in my personality. I would, you know, my desire to be stricken out. I would love to leave here, Lee, and go, Lee, let's go get a beer. Yeah. I would love to be able to go to a ball like a normal even. Sit there for an hour at the thing and have a beer and have maybe a shot.

I can't do that. It's the last thing in my thing. So when I do Coke, it makes me sociable at that level. Yeah. It would make me sit there because I got to drink. Now, I hate drinking. You've been around me for two years. Many drinks you see me had.

The other night was the first one. Every time you go on, you have like a fruity drink. You're like an amaretto and milk I had the other night. I don't drink, but if I'm doing blow, I'll fuck your world up drinking. Like, I like these guys that say, I could... I remember doing two lines of Coke when I'm doing six yards of Yeager Meister at the Okampan. And people did like three of them. That's when I knew I had a problem.

That's when I knew I had an alcohol problem and a Coke problem. I didn't have an alcohol problem. What I did have was a high resistance to alcohol. You got to remember my mother had a bar. Yeah. So when I was five, I really got drunk on fucking wine. I already knew the deal. I didn't like alcohol.

To this day, I don't fucking like alcohol. I like the social aspect of alcohol. Yeah. The same social aspect I liked about cocaine. If you think I want six people over my house at two in the morning, talking about how they played football in high school, you're fucking crazy. But with cocaine, you allow that. You're part of that conversation.

The next morning you think about what you spoke about, You're like, am I a fucking jerk off or what the how is wrong with me? Today somebody wrote me an email about how to get off the cocaine, and I can't tell you the answer. I just outdid my welcome. And that's what people will never understand in this country. They want to go to a rehab and make that welcome, cut that welcome, and you'll never cut it.

You welcome, you get rid of your cocaine habit when you're ready to get rid of your cocaine having. Some people aren't. Took Ray Charles, what, 68, 63 to get off his heroin habit? When I saw that, I was a shame. I was like, I could not do Coke on 63. I need a break from it. And like, I said it on the podcast a couple weeks ago. The thing I don't like about my life now, it's not the fucking podcast.

I love doing the podcast. It's not the comedy. It's that I can account for my life now. For all those years when I was on bloke. Can you imagine for 30 years you can't account for yourself? Yeah, that's great. I can't say to you leave tomorrow. We're going to get together because I don't know what mood.

I'm going to wake up tomorrow. I know I have 40 bucks, enough for a gram, but I don't know who I could put together at 2 in the morning. At 2 in the morning, I can bump up an 8-1. I'm up until 2 in the afternoon, so why make fucking plans? Wow. You know? And thank God I got off it, but I got off it.

The main thing that killed me was I looked at my wife, and I said to myself, okay, let's be honest, that this chick was a New Jersey chick, and that she had done blow for 30 years. I could understand, but she's never really. fucking seen. You know, it's not even in her world. When we watch Discovery Channel and they show those cocaine shows, drugs, ink.

Yeah. She asked me a thousand fucking questions. And they're really surprised me, but that's not people's world. The same way, fucking photography is not my world. I know nothing about it. I know nothing about editing. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

There's some things that you know about and there's some things you're... It's foreign to you. Not even foreign. You know about, but not really. She had no idea about blow and how it works. she just knew my bank account was like She just knew that she'd wake up in the morning And she'd go, why is there $60 missing from my account

But I'd say I needed money for a T-shirt last night She fucking knew You don't think she fucking knew What's the music league? Let's hear it is What do you got for Uncle Joey? You want to do a... It must be the music for Uncle Joey

You can make you wiggle I know you worked all day You haven't burnt no fucking calories I've burned calories How many calories did you burn? Eight million. Mind your business Wiggle phone with your, oh shit. Oh shit, little old school disco for you, cock suckers.

Break up the quailudes and the cough medicine. Jill Himitsu, where the fuck are? I hope everything is all right. M.B. Leaf, girl. Let's do some shout out to this motherfucker. Must be the music. Blastily, what? Now, baby.

Oh, shit. Give me a little wiggly, your little green dollop dillard. Hit it. So let me see. That's a bad motherfucking lucky shirt. That's a real Jew shirt right said. I just tells you, I'm going for fucking paper today, motherfuckers. Let's give a shout out to my main man.

Jewish fucking Lightning. Dead Squad, Connecticut. Dead Squad, New Jersey. I'm coming for you, motherfuckers. You bad motherfuckers. My man, Jervais, Jared Gore, Debt Squad, Washington, Rob McKenzie, Strong on the bike

Whatever the fucking is Strongie on the bike Leon neckbone What are you doing Time your black cock sucker Get out Give me a shout out Let me know you're still around

Stranger All right Parker Fuck school Parker Fuck school You're watching the podcast There's an education

It's up What are you gonna learn at school How the fucking What the capital of Iran is Who gives a fuck Do your thing Roll that fucking numb Lee

You're slacking Look at this baseball bat I got two of them If I had a string I'd make new chucks And Lee's over there giggling like a cocks like a guy let's go let's smoke some fucking potty it's 10 o'clock but waiting for people to call jr gomez is here everybody's here tonight I love it

much respect and much love thank you for adjusting to the schedule the church of what's happening now getting better and fucking better a shout out to our sponsors I love you motherfucker on it products are getting better I'm waiting to come back from new Orleans and I'm gonna do that testosterone boost it and I'm gonna keep you post we want to do a fucking together we're gonna fucking grow get muscles little be 90 pounds life about the time I get from New Orleans. Oh shit. Wait, you got smoke some joints?

I've smoked joints already. Well, J.R. Steiner just tweeted this awesome picture of something. Oh, what I was pushing? No, it's my logo, but it's like fucking a metal or something. Whoa, I don't know what the fuck that is. Don't worry about the logo. I like having a logo.

Give me a break. You want a fucking logo. Get over here, smokes some refo. That's the logo. We're a logo. Like, you're four years old. You don't have a logo on you're four years old. Huh?

I don't have a logo. You're for. What do you bother me for with the questions? Church of what's happened now, Monday night. We're all together. Go get a snack. Get some yogurt with some granola. Do a doche.

Do a fucking fruit box. Do a juice. Do something. You up late tonight. I love you, motherfuckers. Shout out to the Midwest. Jersey. Fucking the South.

New Orleans. Brown paper ticket. Latt, New It. Theater. I will be there Friday night. Again, brown paper tickets. And Sunday night, March 10th, 8 o'clock, brown paper ticket. Don't fucking, those tickets are going to go.

Don't come crying to me, Uncle Joe. We didn't know. We bought fucking crawdads. I don't give a fuck if you got crabbing your ass. What's up, dog? Not much, man. Where'd you go? What do you mean?

You took a hit. You disappeared. What am I dealing with here? I can't be aware. I'm the background of the operation. I don't know. Come over here. Over here.

There's fucking Puerto Ricans right now, jumping up and down, testing on the products. And you're over here, you know. Are you going to work out when you're in New Orleans? Fuck, yes. I'm bringing my alpha brain. I'm bringing my shroom tech. I'm bringing the hemp.

I got a little blender. I'm going to get ready. I got a little stary a little chubby for this role. I'm supposed to be a fat fucking trainer. That's what makes the thing funny. He's a boxing trainer, but he's a fat fuck. What kind of boxing trainer am I? Boxing, whatever the fuck.

It's a beautiful night to be alive. I love you, motherfuckers. Look at this room again. It looks like I love him. stone and smoke in here. This ain't no Michael Jack. Why is my glasses on? What the fuck? You got to tell me I'm sitting here. Like some school teacher. You're an intellectual.

Yeah, get the fuck out of here. Because I got fucking glasses on. I hate those phony motherfuckers. Everybody's doing it now. It kills me. Could you do contact? I can never stick my finger on my eye. You know what? I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll stick my finger in your fucking eye. See how that works for you?

I still got it, Lee. Even at 10.58, whatever time it's 9.30. You know, smoking You're going to leave me here like an orphan. I'm done that's not. I've got to take one more. I got to go to bed and say,

relax. One more fucking number for Uncle Joey. There's kids starving out there. There's Americans fucking on the front line shooting fucking people right now so you can breathe and smoke wreathers. You sit with an Israeli flag behind you there's a couple of Jews throwing rocks right now

with sandals on jumping up and down so you can do this podcast and you're sitting there disrespect. This is why I got to deal with people. I'm going to see a big hit. One more. From the lung. Come on, Coxsug.

Let me see you blow that fucking smoke. Look at that. There's a boy. Cheech and Chong would be proud of you. Here we are. And we're not going to do a podcast to the following Friday because I'm not just going to be out of time.

I might do a call on Monday. So Monday morning at 7 a.m. If you're ready, I might be ready. 7 a.m. 6 a.m. Same thing. I'll do it from fucking New Orleans. Yeah.

We'll call the number and we'll do it fucking live. Me and you from one coast and the other. tell you what's going on because I'm off Monday. What time you got to be at work Monday? Hopefully. Hopefully at night. I'll find out.

Then I'm fucking putting you back at night. Sean, just 8 to 8 until... I found out today I made a call. They keep me on 8 to 8 until fucking June. This is how they're going to close the contract. You think they're going to make you sit there going in at night and, you know, tuck your toes and jerk off under the desk like you do, Cuck Sucker?

You got to go in there and earn, you're fuck. No, fucking jerking off under the desk. The one good thing about this week is I'm not missing nothing. Like, I'm back before that. that Diaz-GSP fight. I'm very excited about that. I'm very excited about that car. Very seldom do I get excited.

They got like three or four good fucking fights on there. So we'll be missing. We'll be back by that. Who else is on the fight? Carlos Conduit against Charlie Canton. The professionalism on this podcast. I can't even believe in. What's that?

This is the guy that's supposed to call me. I guarantee. I know the fuck this is, but I ain't taking it right now. I forgot the time to ring around. I'm joking. I'm joking. Yeah, I'm really excited for the GSPDS. Because those, like I said, those are the fighters I like the fight.

And they'll actually, it'll be entertaining. It won't be one person running, one person. You got Johnny Hendrix. Okay. Against Conduit. You have, you have Ellenberger against Nate Marquard. And this could be do or die for Nate Marquois. This is a great fight.

Mm-hmm. You have a couple fucking, fucking, there you go. See? Oh shit Oh shit What's up beautiful What's going on brother? How are you? How are you my friend?

I'm good, Coco I couldn't be better I'm happy you got the call in Tell tell these motherfuckers Who's on the phone, Billy Of many Of the legion Of Coco Diaz, admirers, friends,

Pasi the legendary city on the cliffs overlooking Manhattan. And I'm a lot older than you, but we used to play basketball together. And unlike my other friends of the criminals, Bill, Mr. Herenda, is a successful fucking dude. And he's always been an honest acquaintance. He's known some of the friends I grew up with. We basically grew up at the same deli, which is no longer there.

How you doing? Exactly. How you doing, buddy? Coco, all as well, man. All as well. I'm just, you know, it's funny, I've got to tell you that, you know, obviously it's been great getting caught up with you. And I'm at a gas station yesterday in Sacramento and two kids who I coached in basketball when they were on their way up, huge fans of yours, the Peterson brothers stop me. And they're all asking their huge fans and follow you all over the podcast and everything.

So all as well, I can't complain. I've got three daughters married. and it's very kind of you to point out they're older than me, but I look like Methusel. I like the oldest man on earth. You look tremendous. You look tremendous.

I still see your face. Every time I look at your Facebook picture, Billy, I see you dribbling the ball, walking into Hashways, looking for a fucking game. Like, he was one of those guys that was always looking for a game, like, what's going on?

Who wants to do this? And he would get to the point where he pushed you a little bit, you know, you're gaining a little weight, dog. You should get out of that bad. And you look at him. Like fucking Billy. I'm trying to eat my little turkey sandwich and Hashway.

Because Mrs. Hashway had the best sandwiches because she was losing the hair. Since we were kids, Mrs. Hashwood was losing the hair. So whatever turkey sandwich ate, you always got a hair with it. Her classic was roast beef on rye. This deli was a real fucking deli we grew up at. It was funny because I knew Billy's whole family. We were basketball nerds. Me, Billy, and his older brother was also a coach now.

Where's your brother coaching? Yeah, so you know, I was talking. Greg is the head coach at UMass Lowell outside of Boston, where I played in college, and then they're actually moving on to the American East Conference with Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Stony Brook schools that are, you know, in that conference of Binghamton, University of Maryland, Baltimore County. There's a lot of excitement up there around that. And you guys, I mean, I remember you would tell me my dad took you guys to the legendary five-star basketball camp.

Pennsylvania and Howard Garfinkel and you're right it was always about the next game who's got next I mean if we had a quarter to buy an R.C. and Hashways after we were living large I mean that was life back then it was beautiful too. It was

for people it was a little coffee shot, it was a little deli and three doors down was this basketball court that belonged to the church and they were supposed to close at 9, they never closed it and I mean we had some fucking battles there. Basketball.

I remember playing basketball. This is an unbelievable story to tell, but I'll tell you because you could believe it. I remember being there at 2 in the morning, my eighth grade summer, and I'm playing one-on-one three-point games with Danny Calendrillo, Anthony Sinsullo, and what was the good, Nikki DeSeglia? Was that his name? That could be, Coco. It wasn't Frankishone?

No, no, no. It was Calendrillo. because he was, it was his friend's brother. In fact, his brother was even there. Paul Land was there, who was an actor, who did a few movies, and he had a model friend. And his friend was Nikki DeSeglia? Yes.

That's right. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. In fact, somebody just sent me footage of a guy from Union City, a Greek guy, Nikki something, that went on to play in the Olympic trials with Larry Bird. So somebody that listens to the podcast. just sent me that. Nikki Gallis.

Nicky Gallus. Nicky Gallus. See, we're basketball nerds, guys, and we're bad. I just, listen to this. I'm in fucking, I'm with Red Band, one of the guys from Joe Rogan's buddy and we're in Atlanta at the Omni, and we're eating lunch.

And we're staying there, and I'm looking at this fucking table, Billy, and who's there, but the guy from Union City, I can't, Bobby, you know. Tommy Hines. Tommy Hineson. And I'm looking at this.

I'm looking at this motherfucker, and he gets out, and he starts walking. He's like, excuse me, you missed the Hines. He goes, yeah, I go, listen. I play for St. Michael, C-Y-L. His fucking eyes lit up. He's like, come on, yeah, man, I was there. When Danny broke your fucking record that night, when he had 61 points, he had a tear in his eye. It's always great to see you basketball guys.

It really is. As you can tell you, you didn't know I was a basketball guy, did you, Lee Lee? I knew you played it. I didn't know you liked it this much. Oh, I love it. And I remember going up to Hashways, meeting your dad, and your dad took us to Port Authority, where we took a bus to Pennsylvania to go to Lee Garfield.

What was his name? Your Garfickel. Howard Garfin was the guy that ran that camp. The King of the fucking Jews. He was Pontius' pilot's nephew. So what do you do now? Exactly, what are you doing now? You know what I'm doing now?

During the day, I run the Positive Coaching Alliance, which is a nonprofit founded at Stanford, and all about better athletes, better people. And we do workshops for kids, for coaches, and parents at schools, at leagues. And, you know, we have folks like from Lionel Holland to Dusty Baker to Phil Jackson, Home Edwards, literally dozens of folks on National Advisory Board that, you know, reinforce what we do with their players. So the content's all focused on the latest research-based sports psychology.

And so that's what I do during the day is basically go out, raise money, do workshops for kids up here in Northern California specifically Sacramento. And then I've been fortunate to get broadcasting work on regular side with primarily with the UC Davis

Radio Network to remember the Big West along with Long Beach State, Fortin, Cal Poly. And then I've also worked for the ESPN family networks in Afghanistan as time water people, Comcast Houtown Network. So that's kind of, you know,

I just feel really fortunate to kind of speed in athletics both, so during the day, and then also with some of the broadcasting work that I've been fortunate to get. I mean, nothing surprises me about what you're doing right now, because between you and Pete Segrove, you motherfucker who are talk sports the whole morning, you know? You know what, Cook, I got to tell you,

It was really ironic. Last season, I'm down at a tournament at San Diego State, and who's in the tournament but Bryant University out of Rhode Island? And whose son is on the team, but Danny Calendrillo's son, and I'm sitting there and a turnaround, and UC Davidson played in the first game, and I turn around two rows behind me of Danny. So we're hugging, and Danny camped it back to our hotel.

I had him on. The next day is our halftime Jackson. I listened to him. I listened to the interview. You did. Yes, absolutely. Come on now. I mean, for these people don't know it,

when you have an idol, when you're growing up, and there's somebody you like, they're distant. We had our idol right there. He was an Italian kid that was six foot two that could shoot the fuck out of the ball that ended up going to Seton Hall and leading the nation and scoring, and then got drafted by the Celtics, but he was six foot two.

You know what I'm saying? I mean, I don't even know if he played or he got picked up. But what he did for us growing up, am I lying, Bill? I mean, he gave you hope. No, I mean, you're right, he was larger than life. And I think the thing about Danny, in addition to him being a great player, and he was one of the pioneers in the Big East. You're right.

And, I mean, he was a legendary scorer before the three-point line. And he always had a huge heart. It was never too busy to help kids like. us, you know, on the way up that had aspirations to play in college. And, I mean, his, you know, family situation was unbelievable in that, you know, he had, you know, literally, I mean, 10 siblings and his parents had, you know, issues with their hearing, and it was just an incredible family and an incredible story. He played for Bill Raftery, who now, you know, everyone knows as an analyst.

But that was the night, I mean, following that North Bergen High School, School State Championship team. And his first game, you mentioned Mickey Gallis earlier, was at Walsh, and Nathan's him at Seaton Hall, and Georgia Tech came in with Bobby Previn's and Sammy drummer playing, ranked

20th in the country. This is before the internet. That was huge news. The magazine had to stand that day. It was Danny's first game. I remember being at that game, and of course, that was like being totally bitten by the college basketball bug. It was like, okay, that's what I wanted.

do. That's what I want to aspire to. But yeah, he was just an absolute, you know, legendary figure and a great guy to this day, no doubt. You know, it was funny because I still, it's, I remember everything he fucking did in that auditorium. But the thing that I remembered the most was in the eighth grade, we had Barone, who was going to call him to the podcast. You know, I had him as a seventh grade teacher. But at the time I was in the eighth grade, and Barone,

In those days, North Bergen switched from the traditional teacher thing to that you had to go to three different teachers a day. So that night, Barone was telling us about, you ready for this bill? Kelly Chupuka. Okay? He's telling us about Kelly Chupuka, who ended up going to know the fucking dame into the Detroit Pistons and just lighten up the fucking basket with a bunch of teeth.

He had like 80 fucking teeth. His father was the original Elway, and he really was. He played for the Broncos. If you go to Denver Stadium, there's a big thing of Trapuca in it. The family owned trip distributors. They're a big fucking family. So it ended up that they said this kid was as good as Julius Irving was. Because most people in high school score 1,000 points in four years.

Kelly Tupuco was scoring 1,000 points a year or something. Something fucking ridiculous. This was like the first guy. And our area at the time was on fire. We had already Jim Spanarkle or John Spenarkel. We had Michael Corrin, Little Irishman from Jersey City. We had a kid Bill Willoughby from Englewood. So we were like, this is our area.

All these, like, I still remember Michael Corrin playing the, how old were you when Michael Corrin played in the finals as a freshman against Marquette? You know what, that was, that I think was 77. That was Al McGuire's last team. Yes, yes. So I was 11 at the time. My God, when they said Jersey City, New Jersey.

Yeah, you fucking get these goosebumps, you know, And it's funny because about a month ago I called Bill, and I go, Bill, Northburg, a minute. And I told Billy a story, but we were in front of Pathmark one night. We used to shoplift Pathmark because we knew this thing. Billy wasn't there. I'm not even talking about Billy. So we would go to Pathmark me, Fernie Bossa Sudo, Glenn Conti, and Mike Roney to shoplift booze.

But this one night, Fernie wanted to snort glue. He was fucking nuts. He goes in to get glue and he comes out with Elmyss glue, like a fucking moron that he is. So out of the Calendrillo brothers, there was 10 of them, and they had sisters too, but one of them was kind of homeless. He lived in the weeds or something. Remember, he would go outside hashways in the morning and they'd give him a sandwich, and he had, like, fucked up sneakers. And I never fucked with him at all. I had never, I never messed with Bobby Call at all.

So Fernie comes out. Now, go ahead, go ahead. Fernie comes out with the fucking Elmer's glue. And we're like, Fernie. You're retarded. You got to get there playing glue. Not fucking Elmer's glue. So he don't know what to do with it.

So it's in his pocket. So this guy, Bobby Cow comes up. And he's asking us for money. And we were good kids at the time. We're giving them the money, Bobby Cow. And next thing, you know, Ferney takes like the newspaper and he puts the glue on it. He lights it on fire.

And Bobby Cowell, it was like October. And he had one of those warden suits on, those body suits on, the heavy ones for the winter. And he put it in his back pocket. And we're talking to Bobby Cow. And within minutes, you see smoke coming from behind Bobby Cow. And the thing was on fire. And we fucking turned it off.

Just before. This is the shit we grew up with, but I'm sorry about it. I'm sorry. Fucking tremendous lighting Bobby Cowell on fire across from the Hudson County Park. Coco, it's up. Hey, Coco, the one story about Hatch, okay. All right, Coco. Go ahead, I'm here.

Oh, no, no, sorry. So, you know, the one, the classic story, too, about Hashways. And, of course, I spent a lot of time with, you know, with the Parkers and with the Doritos. And I tell you, you know, it was hot August the afternoon, balmy, steamy. And I walk around the corner, and back then, as you know, everyone had a bill in Hashways. The paper receipts were taped to the register. Oh, I old. them thousands.

So Parker catches me on the corner before I get to the store and it's like Bill, he goes,

Joe shut me off. My bill is done. Go in there, get me a sandwich and I'll pay carry him. So I said,

I'll say, I'll have a roast beans, marked the cheese, letting tomato and meadow on a hard roll. And before I get

batted out, Joe works to me goes, Billy, get the hell out of you, this sandwich is for Parker. And I think,

I think, Years later, the Seinfeld Show did the same thing, but they did it with a fruit stand with Kramer. I mean, one of my brother that was out in California called me with that episode going on. But it was just, you know, it was just a legendary neighborhood. And you were, you know, chief amongst, you know, everybody, and they were half the characters. And it was just an unbelievable place to grow up. It was just tremendous. You know, Hashways was across the street from Gregory's 7th Day weekend, which was a bar,

which was a corkeys, you know, Tom and Corkeys, which was one of the craziest bars you ever walked into. But to top it off, it was next to a pizza place owned by a Greek guy named Nick the Greek. Do you remember that? And the other day, Mike Duffy, I don't know if you follow Mike Duffy on Facebook. He posted something about North Bergen,

being from North Bergen, and torturing people. And, you know, we used to torture Nick. We throw snowballs at him in the winter, the pizza on the potato. The best thing I have ever. did to Nick was after a while he got kinky like when we got to be 17 he told us if you rob something just bring it directly to me so we used to rob wood and sell it to him he used to buy plywood from us for $10 a sheet don't ask me why but the best was we used to rob fake jewelry and give it to him and then he we had two scams with nick we had fake jewelry that we'd sell

him and then he'd come back to us so we'd let us speak I need to talk to you you know that good jewelry it wasn't because he called me spick right off the bat. There was no fucking around. There was no, you know, what's the shit now? Calling people by there, whatever. There was none of that in those days. But the best was that in those days,

remember the iced teas and the containers? Like they were made out of paper. Oh, my God. Remember those? The fucking tremendousness. Oh, they were unbelievable. Yeah. Oh, legendary.

Do you remember those? They were made out, and you opened them up like a milk container, only on iced tea. Well, Nick had them. Nick, you'd go to Nick to get a pizza. and you'd buy a soda. But Veneery, who was a rich motherfucker, would go, and he's Italian, would go into Veneeris,

and go into Nix, get a slice of pizza, but he would go to Hashways because the iced teas were a nickel cheaper. And when Veneer would be crossing across the street, Nick would walk out and go, Veneerie, you fucking Jew, you suck. But he'd say it loud. Like, it didn't matter who are...

You fucking Jew, you see. suck. Oh, Billy, you know, if I was telling somebody that's tough to go to North Bergen now because we have nowhere to meet, because Hashways are not a business. Yeah, yeah, it's a very

sad thing called on. No question. And it's funny that we could, I've always thought about writing scripts, and for the last year, I wanted to write a Hashway script, because we've seen them at their best, and we've seen them at their worst. You know, like the place just

fucking shut down. And this was a place that, you know, had a... Billy, did you not work there, Billy? When they had the picket machines and the liquor and the fucking sandwiches and... No, you know what, Philco, ironically, I never worked at there. I worked at Joe's a drugstore.

There's another story. That's right. I used to get steroids from him. I used to get steroids from Joe on the corner and sell him. He used to sell him. I got a connection one time. He goes,

You want steroids? Just go to fucking joke. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. But you know what, you're so right, I mean, from the standpoint of,

you know, we, I was back home with my girls. We have three daughters and my wife this summer and had the opportunity

to go visit Mrs. Ashway. And, you know, I mean, so I've really put in the words, you know, what pillars of the community that they were and are.

I mean, they were just great, you know, more than just friends. I mean, You're more than just people who, you know, oh, the deli. I mean, they're the most generous people.

They're the greatest heart of people you ever meet. And, you know, what they did that people know about and the things that I believe they've done that people don't know about just to support people and keep them going. I mean, and, you know, you, you know, like the guys, like, I'm involved in athletics. And I think back to, like, you know, Mr. Faferro

and Frank Benna, Philmore-Ready, Stan Newman. I mean, these guys, and I was lucky, you know, playing in high school for Jerry Allegan, who passed away a number of years ago. But, you know, he was a guy who's in the class of, like, Mr. Ascalis, just these legendary guys that had an unbelievable impact on kids' lives. And, you know, those guys are coaches, but the hash was, you know, and all our unbelievable people. I mean, I just can't say how much, you know, we love them.

And they were very close, you know, family friends who remain that way to this day. It is said, and you're right, like life, you know, it's up and down, no bad about it. It's hard to explain that there was such a part of your childhood. It's embarrassing to me that a deli was such a big part of my childhood. But if you really think about it, Bill, in front of that deli's where I learned to be a comic. On those hot days in between basketball games when you're waiting and, you know, Gabby would pass by and you'd ask her to suck your dick and chase what you think. You know, I mean, it was just, it was, I tried to explain the people about where I'm from,

and for years I didn't say nothing. You can't say nothing because they're not going to believe you. They're not going to fucking believe you. I just started talking about this eight, nine years ago because I had them. I was going to blow up in my head. You cannot, you know, I told the story about when I got chased by the drug dealer, and I ran through Fatima, and they had the bro's bushes, and I walked out of it, and my shirt was thorned or up.

I looked like the fucking, it was amazing, and I wanted the hashware. and the guy chased me and started yelling Mr. Hashway threw this fucking drug dealer out of there with a gun. Mr. fucking Hashway, who was 100 years old, get the fuck out of here, you motherfucker, before I hit you with this fucking knife. I mean, you know, and I was there the night when I walked in there when I seen the article

on Carmine Balzano was shooting the guy seven times in the back in self-defense. That's, you know, you can't explain to these people. You know, did I just tell you I went to West Palm Beach? Who the fuck do I bump into West Palm Beach? Little Stephen Mocko. No kidding. Wow.

He's fighting for America's top team. If these people knew who his father was and his uncle, you know how many times his uncle bailed me out growing the fuck up? He was the mayor in North Bergen. He was the fucking mayor. When you were a kid, I used to live down 38th Street, and we used to have those metal nets. Remember those metal fucking nets they had in the wintertime?

Yeah, oh yeah, totally. You know, I have a piece of that. Listen, we won the national championship, Division 2 at UMS. And I also have, though, and I'm just as proud of the piece of a chain net from up the courts. Yeah, those were legendary. It was changed.

Whenever the ball hit in the winter, it just went, the fucking net was amazing. It was just amazing. You know, Billy, I have no embarrassment from where I'm from and the stories and the laughter, and I have hours. I wish, you know, I tell people all the time. I have a thousand stories.

It's a shame I can only. tell 100 of them. Right now, you would never run out of material. And the thing is, you know, I mean, it was an unbelievable environment,

I think, just to learn about life and having negotiate life and appreciate people for everything that they bring to the table and diversity. I mean,

I wouldn't trade it for anything. You know, I really, really wouldn't. And, you know, my kids, when we go back,

they love it. You know, you get a dose of it and, you know, a little bit of better understanding, but it's a legendary, it's an unbelievable time and an unbelievable place. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I really, really wouldn't. It's funny how you mentioned all those names that coached us. And in all those fucking years, not one sexual, disgusting fucking scandal. You know, there wasn't no scandals. I remember the only scandal we had growing up was Fontana when he threw the kid off the bus for speaking Spanish. That was it. There was nobody fucking teachers and, you know, all this shit.

If anybody, the boys were fucking female teachers at North Pergin. I know like two gym teachers that got fucked in the ass when these kids were in high school. But they wouldn't go home and rat to their fucking moms. I mean, that was just a great, you know, that hill. Just walking that hill, put balls on you. You went to St. Peter's also. You got to take a bus fucking two hours every goddamn day. You know, it was a bus.

And in the path train, and, you know, there were times where I get rides. But, yeah, that was, you know, to go down there and to play on all. Avenue in Jersey City. And to go against that, you mentioned players earlier. And I mean, you're right, you know, from a standpoint of, I mean, I look around the league when I was in high school, David Rivers played at Notre Dame and with the Lakers. And Kenny Wilson with the Villanova. Darrell Wilson played at Ferris, like the Florida State.

Turkey, he went to Old Dominion. I mean, you couldn't, I couldn't stop anybody. But it was just thought it was a really special time of place. and you're right, you know, Jersey back then and, you know, just the urban environment, the feel of it, just the fabric of it is, I think, something that we all, you know, just really, you know, really cherish. I feel badly tonight that there are probably a ton of names

that, you know, I'm leaving out just because, you know, we just don't have time to go through it all, but just great, great people. You're right, those guys, you know, they just cared about the community, about the kids, And I think they recognize that, you know what, keeping us, you know, on the straight and narrow and on the right path, you know, that was just a way of making sure that all that energy was used in a productive way. And, you know, it's their opportunity to kind of give back. And those, you know, guys that I think about all the time.

I mean, it's not a day that goes by that, you know, I don't think about my father who lost too soon, of course, when I was in sixth grade or, you know, Mr. Halligan or, you know, Ben, all the day that. those guys. It was just great, great people. By the way, before we get off the topic, I don't know if you know this and I'm going to put him together with you. Vinnie Askely's Jr. is in school at Fresno. You told me that, so I'm going to try to get

down there. So let's try to meet. Let's go see him because he's only going to be there and he's going to transfer. But I've been in contact with him on the phone and I tried to explain him to you. And, you know, he's 20 years, he's 30 years younger than us. But the kids are fucking savage and once you talk to him,

Talking to him, the last two or three weeks, has really made me a little different. Just talking to him because it reminds me to talking to me when I was 21. He don't give a fuck. He don't give a fuck. And this guy won the state chair. He don't give a fuck.

So, Billy, I'm really, and I know your name is Bill. I keep calling you Billy because you're still that fucking young kid with the ball, always enticing. Come on, let's go play some ball. I'll show you with this new move. I got, Coco. Come on. Fucking hilarious.

Fucking hilarious. You know, a lot of love to you. you and your brother Greg and your family for always never judging and for always loving me, man. You guys are great. I'll see you September. I'll see you at the 20th of March. Absolutely.

We love you too. Keep up the great work. And I just want to thank you guys for having us. And we'll definitely. What's the web page that you go to and see what you're doing? What's that? What's the web page or the organization that you work for? Oh, yeah.

So I'm with the Positive Coaching Alliance. So people can check us out at PCA. You know, actually, it's probably easy to go to positivecoach.org. Okay, to check us out there. Great videos, a lot of really inspirational videos for people like Doc Rivers, Herm Edwards, Steve Young, Brad Steve, and the young coach. Lionel fucking Hollins. Are you kidding me?

I remember when he played for the Portland Trailblazers with Bobby Gross and fucking Lionel Choo Choo-Hollins was his name, wasn't it? Exactly, exactly. And he, you know, is the real deal. feel, Coco, from the standpoint of, you know, I think, you know, when people recognize that, listen, you know, playing in college or playing professionally, you're like a milk carton, there's an expiration date on it, and, you know, it's all those qualities that you learn along the way

that it really propel you to success, you know, not only on the court, but also off of it. And Lionel Howells is another one of those guys that, you know, just really lives it. And, you know, along with Doc Rivers, you hear him talking about him, good too when I can only be as good as I can be when you're as good as you can be. And he talks about character. They pass on guys that have more talent. They want more R's than S's.

So in other words, they want more character as opposed to characters. So anyway, I'll get off my soapbox here, but a lot of good stuff. Bill, I fucking love it, man. I'm proud of you, man. I'm proud of you, and it's good to see you after 30 fucking years and be able to get a laugh about it. Hashways and where we came from. I love you. And I'll see you in a few weeks up.

I love you too, though. We were so proud of you, too. We're so proud of you, too. Brother, stay black and beautiful. Sounds good, man. Thanks, guys. Bye. You know, it was funny because

we talked about this deli where we grew up and the kid just fucking flipped. Yeah, I didn't know. Clued that. And it's really weird when you're a young guy and you live your life and you become an old guy

and you look at people who were there with you, people who you thought had it together and just lost it. When I was 18, I wanted to be Glenn Hashway. You know, his mother had a deli. He went to school. He had the Corvette. He had the good-look-in-Irtle-in-girl.

He had the clothes. You know, he didn't have a fucking care in the world. And, you know, 20 years later, he ends up robbing a gas station with a fucking hood on and no gun. It's just mind-boggling. And again, you know, for a guy like me, I have to break down two different directions. This was a guy that was my friend, but at the same time this was also a guy that used to laugh at me and when I first started to comedy and make fun of me. I love him as a friend, but now he's in fucking seclusion somewhere. And they lost a deli. You know, it was like the

American dream. It was like Scarface, only with a fucking deli. You know, and drugs were involved as they usually are when you lose shit. And it's unthinkable. We got some emails this week, as we usually do. Somebody emailed that I was wrong about Dolce. Remember, Dolce was talking about butchers. How important it is to go to a butcher and get a nice piece of meat. Okay.

And some guys said, you know, you don't know anything about butchers. You live in L.A. They're all over the place. And he goes here and Whittier, and I'm like, yeah, I got to drive an hour and they get a fucking piece of meat. That doesn't do me no good.

Right? What he was talking about was neighborhood butchers. Yeah, of course. So you could walk over to this 10 different ones. It's not one butcher in an entire city. Right. In the city. Glenn Hashway was all that.

that grocery store. Remember, there was a pathmark, there was a shop right. But Hashways deli was where you went. They had fucking roast beef sandwiches. They had a fucking rice pudding that she would put cinnamon on it and whipped cream. She made

two roast beefs every day fresh and two turkeys fresh. That's how much we ate in those days. Their specialty sandwich was a roast beef on rye with mayo, salt and pepper, light on the fucking just this light fucking rye with this potato, salad was macaroni side that your asshole would boil with a pickle, with a fucking pickle.

You know, and I ate everything in that menu, you know, from the, you know, because after a while, you eat there every day. It's not like now that you went. Oh, today, no, we went to Hashways every fucking day. That's royalty. That's where you went. And when you didn't have money, you put it on the fucking tab. And when you got paid, you went up there and you fucking paid them back. I eat up there every day.

We lived at those basketball courts. So you'd go up there with no money, but no, Mrs. Hash was going to take care. even though she was going bald and the hair would go in your sandwich you didn't give a fuck and if you didn't get enough hair you'd even say Ms. Hash

I got beat today you better to do the fucking brush over that I mean this was a neighborhood grocery store something that we see six of in this fucking country anymore because corporations

have taken over anything you know are you going to be able to go into your supermarket and say I got no money I've been shopping here for 13 years because I'm putting on a bill they don't know what you're fucking talking about no but in those days

you could go into hash and go to Mrs. Hash paid on every other Friday. In between that, can I send up Lili to get fucking co-cuts and baloney and shit and nope? And they'd say, yeah, it's a fucking looting. And that's what it's all about. That's what business is about. That's what's been cut out

today. There's no more customer service. You know, the hashways was such a successful deli. Because it started off as a deli and they moved two doors down. They took over the liquor store and the picket. But that was 1984. Guess what else was popular in 1984? What? Fucking tutz-s-s-s-luts.

So, Glenn was in there fucking snorting up a fucking storm. But here's what's the secret. They had the lunchtime school crowd. It was a million, it was, bro, it was a goldmine guy. It opened at 7. My high school was down the corner. So till

three, you had the action from the high school and everybody went to hashways. Probably twice, breakfast and then lunch. Yeah, you went to hashways and got a butter roll with a fucking can of Coke or a U-Hoo like a motherfucker or a cream cheese and jelly on a roll with a U-hoo or a fucking like a

motherfucker. And then at lunchtime you went back over there and you got a rose beef on rye, salt and pepper, salt, light on the pepper, no pepper, light on the salt, mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato, sliced dead. They would slice the tomatoes, fucking paper, not like these Puerto Ricans today. You got a chunk of tomato, even slice paper fucking dead. It was genius.

So you just taste it the tomato. They put a couple extra ones and the tomato stayed in the fucking sandwich when you squeezed it. Not like these more, you were biting to a sandwich, You bite the front and the shit comes out of the ass. You're like, what I order. That's why I don't go to these fucking Soho fucking fake sandwich, motherfucking assways. You want to make a sandwich. You don't have to tell them to slice your fucking meat thin.

They sliced the meat thin, but they kept the cheese thick. Ooh. You know what I'm saying? These little things, these fucking jimokes don't know what the fuck they're doing today. They didn't fucking know. When my bitch is gone? No. Oh, right.

No. You got some music from me? Do you sit there? Absolutely. You're going to smoke some more weed or? I'm all set. I got this shit The Pope smoke before he knew

Oh shit A little Michael Shankner MSG victim of fucking A fucking... Blanely, hit it Joey's wiggling I'm on fire To my dog

I'm feeling it He can't put out the fucking fire What's up, Leelie Leel You stoned now? Yes, I'm stoned We don't smoke some more young than Joe? No Oh shitly

Lee Can't stand the pain Forget about it, huh? It's a beautiful fucking night. March 4th, Monday. You'll probably get this Wednesday. Tune you up for the rest of the fucking week. I'm sorry to won't be no podcast next week.

I'll be in New Orleans, shooting, working it out. I'm very sad. You know, one part of me is very happy that I got this. But the other part of me is very sad because I've got to leave my wife and the baby. Thank God. Her family is coming in Thursday. This girl came in today.

Her brother comes in tomorrow. So Terry's going to have a hands fucking forward. family. Yeah. Is it, because I know you used to get, like,

sad when you leave the cats. Oh, is it different? Oh, it's terrible. It's terrible. And then I got to go to new, uh,

to meet them. So, well, you gotta fucking watch the cats one day. You gotta go and hang out with Harry and for a few hours. I've seen Harry and so long.

Harry's fucking cool as shit. You know, they're all lonely about, you know, ever since we lost Finney. I had to put a special collar on Fidelis. He's like a half a momo. He misses Finney.

Yeah, they were together for years. And they were best, friends, Phenny would choke them and fucking throw him down. Remember, you were there. Yeah. See, Fennie, Finney was a tiny little dude. Fidel, what the fuck is this?

Fidel's like 280. He's a lineback. Take him down and bite him in the neck. Fidel, look at me like, meow, get him off. I'm like, Fidel, fucking bite him back, you fuck. Does your daughter look to cats? She can't see him. They don't even know. They come off.

You know who likes her? Superbad likes her. Gray likes her. Sissy likes it. The black and white cats. Yeah, that's weird. The black and white cats play attention to where they hang out. They watch her. What are you going to do?

You know, she comes first. They take the second seat, but they're a tight second. I love my cats. Yeah. I've always, and I felt bad. Even my wife says, she goes, have I been neglected? I go, you've been busy with the fucking thing. So we brushed them.

I got them the good catnip. Mm-hmm. The catnip they like, the buds. Yeah. They still had it on Amazon. They went out of business. Oh, really? But they had, like, fucking, five bags left, so I got them down.

What's the matter? No, that was me. Nothing. So that's crazy. Nothing, dude. What's going on, copsucker? You're taping this, selling this to the rush? Don't make me burn this in your skin and get the fucking info from you.

No. How you doing, baby? I'm good. This room has gained me higher. I'm fucking... Your landlord came up here until she looked up here. I heard she sat down and took her nap. She smelt this motherfucker.

Jesus Christ. This is a good room right here. Look at these rarely flag. It's turning fucking yellow. Yeah, I got a... Respect. This week... I haven't been...

busy, but this weekend, I'm going to put up. I got a godfather and a... What's the other fucking movie? Good fellas. Good fellas. Godfather and good fellas for this room. We don't fuck around, ladies and gentlemen.

He puts it all together. I'm trying. So it was nice. I hooked up with Billy when I did Sacramento Bunch line last time. He showed up with his wife, and they watched me, and he was a nice kid.

He was very nice. And I saw him a few times and I was fucked up years late, and I felt very guilty. Guilty? Sure, because we knew each other who liked the Jock Field. Then they started hearing

that I was robbing and doing drugs and it must have been hard for him. But you know what, bro, he never judged and he was younger than I was and he forgave and that's it. Even if he didn't forgive, but I know he forgave and he's a good dude, bro.

The renders are good fucking people. I mean, his brother's mom, the dad. And I had a lot of that. Like I said, his dad drove us over to it. It's funny because the kid that I, the people that came over today and went with their son. She showed me the picture today

of the football camp I went over with him. A picture of you? No, it was a picture of him with the shirt. It was offense, defense football camp. I've spoken about it before. It was run by Penn State.

It was like Jack Lambert and Jack Hammers in Pennsylvania. It was going in Pittsburgh and one somewhere else. I'm getting it confused. I think it was just in Pittsburgh. So I went to a couple camps growing up. I liked football camps

because it was six or seven days condensed. Did you ever go to a basketball camp? I know not fuck basketball. I went to a football one. Come on. Which one did you go to? It was just run by the local I think the high school. I only played football for one year. I didn't like it. Well, I didn't, I didn't not like it. I, uh, I didn't play Pop Warner. Okay. And everyone else did in the coach, coach Pop Warner. So I got, and I wasn't even very good, but I, uh, I barely got to play. So I, uh, I didn't like that,

but I liked wrestling. So that's what I stuck with. I went to wrestling camps. Did you really? How long do you sleep there for? There was one for like a week And then I would go to off-season wrestling And would you get better at them? Yeah I mean I was never very good

But it was a like you said It was a lot of fun And it was a How old were you when you went Probably 15, 16 I wrestled off in high school You're on your dick Yeah it was

You said something the other day That I've heard you say before But it was on the sides It wasn't like on the top yet It's on the side You know girls in the sides middle states bald you gotta do a coma you gotta bar your sister's mascara and shit fill it in me i didn't have a sister had to go to the supermarket and buy mascara like a fucking have a fake you bought

mascara waterproof just case you go swimming you're fucking juck don't turn black you're over there swimming you got an oil fucking leaking out of you that's right cocksucker over here what you go that's how high you are you put your fucking finger to your back yet you're a little fucking cock suck what else that's all you got for me that's all i got it's fucking crazyly you know i can't believe that I even got this movie. Like I've been thinking about it for the last two fucking weeks and I wasn't

going to tell nobody on the podcast. I wasn't really going to tell anybody but it was overwhelming because when I moved to you, Lee, it was 98 and I was 30-something years old already. I was a fucking long in the tooth. And all my friends were getting movies, not movies but deals and shit. You know, at least Mitchie

Shaw picked me up and put me in the comedy store. Yeah. That was the only thing I had working in my confidence that I knew that Missy didn't pick up a lot of fucking weird people. She picked you up with you a fucking fucking fire. Yeah, I was here a month and got picked up. And I booked a pilot, and I booked a movie, and then I sat tight for a while, and I went on the road,

and I really wanted to become a comic. I wanted to become a really good comic. And I went on the road for, like, two years, and I committed to the fucking road. You know what? It wasn't like a half-ass. I would go for no money, 300 here, 400 here, take a bus. You know, I told you get a blowjob from a chick

that escape from a strip club. I swear to God, that's a true story. A chick that left Rochester to go to Buffalo because in those days a stripper had to get a health license. Oh, okay. She had, like, fleas and some other blood diseases. So she had her... And he let her give you a bloodstream?

Sure, why not? Fuck it. I don't give a fuck, but what do I get? In those days, I was living a greyhound bus. Who gives a fuck? Who sucks your dick? You know what I'm saying? But I came back.

I took a couple acting lessons. Van de Chubbitt, who that's where... the black chick that won the Academy Award. Halliberry. And the white chick who won the Academy Award. The tall one. This year? No, a couple of years ago.

The tall white chick that's hot. She did the dance with a kid from, with Seth McFarland this year. Oh. Charlese Duran. Oh, yeah. Shalise Duran went to that acting class. Oh, cool.

Ivana Chubbik. And so did the black chick. They were both their actresses there. I went there in the beginning class. never acted before. I had done basketball and then when I came back, it was with Josh Wolf let me 500 bucks

and I started going to Ivana Chubbock and I went to Ivana Chubbock and that's when I started booking little stupid movies and parts but I worked as an actor. Which for me was fucking mind-boggling. It was mind-boggling. The first time I got hired I didn't even know what cut was or direct

or what they meant by hitting your line I just showed up like a fucking a stupid kid because that's what you are. The dumber you all, the better you do at something. It's when you get smart that you become bad at something. Yeah, you worry about it. You worry about it, you know?

And I remember doing the show, and they fucking picked me up for a couple episodes, and I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. So I went to that advantage of Chup for like three months, and I believed it. And then from there, I went to a different acting class. It was a little cheaper. It was 260 fucking five, that class. That's a lot of fucking money for once a week. And I went there, and I, what I'm trying to say is, you know what?

I'm not with a big-time agent. I don't have a manager. These people that have booked in me have just signed me recently. I never had a booking agent. Never went to Montreal. Never went to really no festivals. I went to like the Toyota Comedy Festival

in New York. It's basically a fucking joke. And listen, I'm not crying. This I all brought upon by myself. I get, you know, and I'm very lucky. I'm aggressive and I don't give a fuck. See, because that's the number one thing. If you're going to come out of here

and put your balls in the line, you got a number one thing you don't give a fuck. And that's why Ivana Chubbic takes women and she's really good with women when she teaches them how to act because she breaks them down. Ivana Chubbik is one of the few acting classes that you have to strip fucking naked at. Jesus.

You did that? I stripped down to like underwear, but I've seen girls there show their fucking pussy at that acting class because Ivana wants to break a woman down because that's the only way they can learn how to act. And the point was proven with Charlize Theron and the black chick for fucking Monsters Ball. Hall of Berry.

Yeah. I mean, she's amazing. Was it Monster's ball? won it for? Yeah. So, you know, this is,

whatever the fuck there is to it, I've always believed that there's something to be an actor. I just never had that. You know,

when I do movies, I'm the same fucking guy, but I take that. I never studied to be a great fucking actor. No. I never really, new theater

in New York, never did theater. I went a performing arts contest once freshman year, lip-sink shattered by the Rolling Stones. Beside that,

and the chick was a lesbian, she liked me. It was cool, cool fucking class. But I never really had that. So now I get this call to do this grudge match. And I look at the IMDB, which for some

people don't know, IMDB, as it tells you about the movie, the director is, the producers who wrote it, one of the actors are in it, and I seen that it was the director from the Longish Yard. And I wasn't the impression, he didn't like me. So I said, fuck it. I'm going to not go to this audition, because he doesn't like me. Then I sat there. I thought

about Twitter, and I thought about stand-up, and I thought about everything. I've gone to and I go, you know what? When somebody doesn't like you, it's the story of my life. You've got to prove them fucking wrong. Yeah. So I got that audition. I broke the scenes down. I went for it. I went and then I got a call back. And I went and again, I read with the director and I got this

fucking role. I never sweated it. I never sweated. I just thought it was like any other role. I'm going to go there and do whatever one day. Then they called back and they said, I'm working three days. And they called back and they said, I'm working opposite to Niro to really have my shit together. And I didn't really think about it much. If you guys listened to me and what the church is about. It's like, Lee, you got to put your pants on. Everybody puts their pants on one like at a time.

Just like us. Nobody's fucking better than us, you know? Whether it's De Niro, whatever the fuck. So a couple of days ago, I really started thinking about it. I'm going to go read with De Niro. I never started off to be an actor. I know a lot of guys that have come to this town that would die to play two scenes opposite De Niro to be.

This is my second movie with him. The first one I didn't do a scene with him. Yeah. But the beauty of this is, that the way I've been thinking of my own land I'm gonna go down there and have a good time and fuck him up Lee and the main reason is this plain and fucking simple

this is something for the fucking underdog me getting this movie is for every fucking little guy that they told no to and then you have to switch it into your mind that you don't give a fuck no more because what do you got to lose what's the worst naked city is fucking no that's the worst naked city of soon by me getting this movie it's good for me and people are seeing me

It's great, and we'll laugh and giggle, but this is a feather for people that have come here and nobody's giving them a fucking shot. Thank God Joe Rogan talked about me and whatever, and people took a liking to me. We wrote blogs and we made videos and the ball is fucking here. But this De Niro thing is huge. It's supposed to show you, bro. It don't fucking matter. Just go for it. It don't fucking matter.

I just went for it. I don't give a fuck. You're not going to tell me no, Doug. You're never going to tell me no. You're going to need a fucking bazooka to shoot me. If you bring a 44, it's going to, it's going to. be a bad fucking day for you. You know, and if you just keep having that attitude,

something good's going to fucking happen, Lee, eventually. Yeah. Something good's going to fucking happen. He's the same thing for applying a job, and no matter how many times they say no. Every author has that story. They got rejected by every publishing house until one person said, yes.

This is one of the best opportunities for me, but it isn't for me only. It's for the movement. It's for a movement that, bro, I'm ugly, I'm fat. I'm a felon. I'm a spick. I got all the fucking things. going against me. But you've got to shoot me, dog.

You got to shoot me with a fucking elephant gun. Or if not, it's not going to work out for you. This is the way, this is where I learned to do this. And if you're not going to live your life this way, don't do it. Don't do it. Don't waste your fucking time. You're going to pick up today. You're going to listen to what the fuck I'm telling you. You're going to decide what the fuck you want to do.

And you're going to go for it. Whether you want to play the guitar, when you're going to play the ukulele and have somebody shoot arrows at you. What the fuck you want to do, just do it. And if you keep doing it, something fucking good is going to happen. something even if you're 50 even if you're a 50 year old broken down loser like me

it's still fucking De Niro motherfuckers for these agents that didn't like me and I was too fat or too ugly or whatever the fuck it was it don't matter they can't take away your fucking will dog they fucking can't so you know what man I'm not going to see you

motherfuckers for a week I'll still be on Twitter I'll still try to should I go get my phone I'm trying to take pictures for these people and video can I put it on the computer I don't know what I'm doing I mean you could do with your phone or the bloggy if you want. I got to figure something out to keep you guys contacted me for a week, so we'll probably do

some type of podcasts on Monday where I'll call up. I'm off. I won't take away from your sleep time. No, it's fine. We'll do something, even if it's just a short podcast to give them. Okay. We'll have myself and maybe another guest call up, and you're going to interview them or some shit. I don't know.

Yeah, we'll have to see if I can take two calls at once. Get it fucking together, Lee. Always, I don't know. You get it together. I swear to God. You're not smoking dope. I'm not doing nothing. Look the fucking shape of you, cocksucker. What are you going to put in the blend?

I heard you put a... I already used it. You want to try it? Not in a million. Come on. Not in a million fucking years. I'll tell you, I'll taste that fucking thing when you whack off and taste your little tropical helmet juice.

No. You taste your sperm yet? No. Why not? Because it's sperm. You don't try to drink a gallon like that chick on the couch. You just going to taste a little... Whipp it on your fucking tongue, cocksucker.

So as soon as you drink the fucking green pride. I will I will fucking Come on it. It tastes like apples and grapes Listen take that apple And put it up some Apples and eaves and everybody else's ass

Alright leave me alone I'm not eating that green shit It fucking gives me on to I'm burping I'm farting like I fucking have protein Remember It's never too late To fulfill your yearly obligation

Or whatever the fuck you call it To lose weight and get healthy Onet.com is always there for you Got an on it Take a look at the hemp protein take a look at the immune and basically if you're a fat fuck like us take a look at the strong bone please

even if you just take a look at the strong bone order the smallest thing type in church C-H-U-R-C-H get your little fucking discount get you a little hat or kazoo in the mail and you're happy everybody's fucking happy you're happy I'm happy and we respect each other

I'm getting like I said I stayed at 3-10 to shoot this movie because I'm supposed to be the fat trainer once I get back I'm gonna join Lee not only on juice but I'm not going to juice but I'm going to do something different with Lee maybe just do a dulce thing and that's it my friends

I'm going to miss you motherfuckers and the inspiration that you guys give me every morning and the music and my brother Lee you cock sucker what are you going to do without me five fucking days let's throw a party you miserable

you miserable I like that you guys took time out to watch the podcast and I know it's how of your fucking routine if you're in the East Coast you want to be sleeping by now but fuck you you got to do

like my main man whatever his fucking name is who told the school to go fuck himself Parker that's it Parker's like I gotta go to school tomorrow go fuck yourself

school what are you gonna learn that school you ain't gonna learn here you ain't gonna learn about the most important thing you should learn about

heart that's what you fucking get from the church or a tapper now Lee you know I love you what am I gonna be this week Lee?

La La Newette theater New Orleans go to brown papertickets dot com just search Joey Diaz it's up there March 8th and March 10th

I don't think there's even 10 tickets left for both shows combined Well they better figure something out because Yeah you can buy it you could buy it on your phone right now You could print the tickets at home You can go to the box office There's no reason not to go up That's right this is at Louisiana I'll be down there eating I'm gonna go see my buddies at the fucking firehouse

My man Dan I got some other people who have been hitting me up My boy said he bought tickets He's coming to the Sunday night show I want to be smoking outside. A lot in the wet. There's a fucking hamburger stand that my boy told me about

that says it is rocking. I forget what the name of the thing is. You have to get a shrimp pole boy for me. I'm going to eat a couple of shrimp pole boys. And what are the little donuts that are in New Orleans? What are they called?

Baynettes. Oh, are they good? Are they fucking good? They look amazing. When was the last time you ate something bad in Louisiana? I've never been to Louisiana. What the fuck you do?

This is what I'm talking about. But you got time to follow these Jews doing techno music. You're not eating ecstasy. This is what you're lucky. I don't take this. I'll try to a cigarette and put the ash ball on your eyeball. How's your dad doing? You're talking about that?

He's doing great. I talk to him every day. Call the director. Tell him your Jewish lawyer and I'll come down. All right, maybe we'll get you down there next week. Can you take a couple days off? If they pay for a plane ticket, sure. Listen, you get a couple days off.

That's all I'm paying for playing tickets. That's coming completely different. You'll do that on your own. God's a second. They can do it. They got the private. You ain't no fucking Martin Scorsese. You hang out a few days.

What music you got for me? What do you got for these beautiful people? Got some Led Zeppelin. No, you don't. Yeah, I said. Let me see. I'm going to see. Let's see.

You should do that in the movie. Your character should have a cigarette on his lip. Listen, who are you now? Who are you? Who the fuck are you? Mel Brooks is not doing? Get the fuck. Don't forget.

Sacramento. I'm coming up to you, March. 20th to the 23rd or something up there. Go to the website. What else am I doing? That's it. I got nothing. I got this movie.

I got Sacramento. We got the podcast and we got you guys. Thank you very much for watching tonight. Don't forget if you want to support Lee and the fucking flying podcast, the whole fucking Jew shit, whatever the hell is. I'm all stone to the gills. Go get the long sleeve,

Churchill's happening now T-shirt, and that supports the fucking electric bill and all this fucking shit here. We'll put something together for Lee. And that's it. I love you guys. Have a great week. And hey, if you're the underdog,

tell them to suck your dick. That's what it's all about. They either can suck it now or suck it later, cocksucker. Hit it, Lee, Cocksucker. Who? Lee, what's going on? You took the only music froze.

Oh. Look at Lee. Giggles. Look at these eyes. I ate a chocolate with my tooth around. I was fucked up. Oh, I have to see. I'm a roommate chilling. Oh, shit.

A little lens up. We kick that off you, motherfuckers. Have a great week. We love you here. The Flying Jew. Your Uncle Joey. stay black. Joey Dears.

Not next for all the fucking info you need. Love you.