The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #033 - UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT

Episode Date: January 25, 2021

Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint.... Today, we talked about #UFC 257 and Joey's thoughts on where Conor McGregor goes from here.... Also, Marriage! This episode is brought to you DraftKings, ONNIT & CBD Lion...... Go to https://www.draftkings.com and enter Code: JOEY Go to https://www.onnit.com and enter Code: CHURCH Go to https://www.cbdlion.com and enter Code: JOEY or CHURCH Also, Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... You can find Ben here: Ben Telford Visuals Cinematography and Visual Promotion Agency Ontario, Canada [e-mail] Instagram: www.Instagram.com/b_telford or www.instagram.com/bentelfordvisuals And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint

Greetings from Podcastville. It's Monday, January 25th. Uncle Joey's joint is brought to you by Draft Kings. Guess what, cocksuckers. The golden tickets are here. You're ready for the Super Bowl? We got fucking... Whatever happened yesterday, happened yesterday.

Now we got our fucking players. Everybody's ready. The teams are in. February fucking 7th. Draft Kings is the official partner of Super Bowl, and is bringing back their golden ticket giveaway with up to $55 million in prizes. That's $55 million with your name on each one of you, cock suckers. You want to get in on the action?

All you got to do is at the Draft King Super Bowl prediction challenge. And here's the best part. They're going to give you a chance to instantly, instantly win as soon as you submit your picks up to $20,000. That's a lot of motherfuckers. Geetus we're talking about. And if you guess right, you got a chance to win a million fucking dollars. But guess what? All that starts

tonight. You got college basketball. You got NBA basketball. You got fucking hockey. You got college basketball. You got Chinese ping pong. This is the season to be fucking jolly. Do you understand me?

Download the Draft King's Sportsbook app right now. Use promo code Joey to enter free, $55 million Super Bowl prediction check. Can you imagine if you hit this and the fucking Megalado? They'll be sucking your dick like that Chinese guy from the United Airlines. You never heard from them again, did you? No, that'll be you on an island getting your dick sucked, your balls fanned. You and the Draft King Sportsbook app. Use promo code Joey. Everybody gets an instant prize up to $25,000 just for playing.

You got nothing to fucking lose. So use your promo code Joey now and enter the $55 million Super Bowl Challenge only at Draft Kings. The official daily fantasy partner of Super Bowl 55. Terms and conditions and eligibility restrictions apply. See draftkings.com for details.

And don't forget to download the app and press in Joey. You gotta be over 21 and you gotta live in the areas where they gamble. Colorado, Tennessee, this is what the lawyers make me fucking say. All right? So if you got a problem with gambling, we don't want you on here. Go take care of your problem. Go get a skateboard.

Go take one of those fucking pills that doesn't let you gamble and come back. But if you're ready to rock, fucking Draft King's Sportsbook app is ready for you right now. Download it. Press code, Joey, and enter. the $55 million Super Bowl prediction challenge. That's draftkings.com slash Joey. The joint is also brought to you by Audit, one of my all-time favorites.

And now they're introducing these protein powder pops, Korean barbecue, spicy cheddar, 15 grams per fucking bag. Where are you going to get that from? You got to eat two eggs to get that shit. You understand me? to mention melatonin, which is helping people sleep, and one of the vitamins that helps against COVID. You still got fucking alpha brain, and you still got new mood and shroom tech. I mean, what don't they have you covered? What the fuck have they done for you not to go to

onit.com right now? Go to onit.com right now. Take a look at the great selection of supplements they have and get back to me, bitch. But it all starts by you going to honor.com right now. the supplements, whether it's the protein powder, the Shroom Tech, these new protein power puffs that are fucking delicious. That's what I ate during the fight Saturday night. I was hungry, a little late night, quarter of one. A little apple, maybe a little protein puff. They also have the little, let me tell you something. They have some peanut butter, chocolate, protein fucking bites that are tremendous also. Listen, when it comes to Honit, they're the best. That's why I do business with them. Go to honor.com right now and press in church.

and get 10% off of any of their supplements delivered right to your fucking casa. Who's better than me? Nobody. Who's better than you? Nobody on a Monday morning. The joint is also brought to you by CBD Lion. Why haven't I got hooked on pain pills? Why?

Because CBD Lion has helped me through this fucking surgery. With the Roland, the gummy bears, the tincts, and also the just a regular, they have a, like, like an ointment that I use also. I've been going around this for two weeks with this CBD line, and now is when I realize how potent and how good their product is. CBD Lion did their fucking homework. Then I, the rest of these companies that put some fucking sugar in water,

and you're jumping up and down. I feel great. No, you don't. Stop lying to your fucking friends. I feel good right now, and I just had 2,000 fucking staples put in my leg. You understand me? I don't even take those pills to a fucking late night so I don't wake up, but part of my pain management is CBD Lion. Go to CBDLion.com right now.

Take a look at their third-party lab results. Learn about CBD, CBN, and how they can make an advantage in your fucking life. Go to CBD Lion right now and press in. Joey, church, whatever the fuck you want, and get 20% off delivered right to your fucking crib. Let's get this fucking party started. with the chitter-chatter Joey. It's Monday morning. We got shit to talk about people to see

and things to do. Enjoy. What's happened? What's happened, you bad motherfuckers. Uncle Joey here Monday morning. January 25th, a beautiful fucking day to be alive. We're doing this podcast,

and I got a couple things to do. Today I get the stitches taken out. And I got physical therapy. The leg has been feeling great. Thank you for all the. well wishes. It's been two weeks and it's fucking great. Thanks to CBD Lyon. I'm not fucked up on the pain pills. I must have called my buddy Timmy, who knows all about them 10 times to ask them not to get hooked and it all worked itself out. I got more than plenty in there. I've been

alternating with the aspirin and the ice and the Tens machine. And the only time you really don't want pain is at night when I go to sleep. I don't want to be like I got wood. I got wood. Woken up by pain two or three times at night. It wasn't good. So that's the only time I want to be covered. You really can't take my sleep. It gets fucked up when you eat those pain pills too. So I had to work around.

So now I take them like at nine and I drink my fucking tea at like 11. So I go down at fucking midnight, 1230. But what do you guys give a fuck? I'm just here telling you about my weekend. For starters, let's talk about what we witnessed on Saturday night. What happened? The decline and my take on it. Let's start from the beginning.

Number one, I've always loved Connor McGregor. I thought Connor McGregor was a great fighter. I thought his fucking footwork was phenomenal. I thought his range is masterful. The guy before that, his range worked a range. Similar to that was Anderson Sova. I made a comment one time. The only disagreement I had with Connor McGregor was I did not like the Deniseeva fight.

I thought they should have given them a better opponent. because I knew it would have come back to bite him in the ass. And number two, I didn't like how he was treated because I've been there. I've been there as a comic where, you know, you're in a room with six comics, and one comic gets like a fucking a mansion, and you and the other six guys got to split a fucking floor. So my whole thing was I didn't like the treatment of him or whatever, but he does generate a lot of cash.

So I get it from that perspective. But from being there, I didn't like it. But I've always thought he was great. I always thought he was a superb fighter. He did things that nobody else did in the sport. You know, he was a two-time fucking champion. Now you've got to ask yourself what happened. Me, I love to be an observer.

I've always been an observer. You look at things, you shut your fucking mount, and you see what happens and what goes down on that. I can tell you one thing for sure, about me. When I started watching MMA and I was friends with Rogan way before, like I didn't get into MMA until maybe after I was friends with those guys for 10 years. I didn't want to see two guys wrestle with fucking bikinis on. You know, I came from the Bruce Lee school. I turned down the UFC one day and I saw Butterbean. You know, guys got a body like mine. He's

in the ring fighting. I thought this was just like a fucking joke. And then I actually saw Anderson Silver in his first fight against Chris Levin and I was blown the fuck away. I became a fan. I also watched the Ultimate Fighter finale and I had become a fan. There's nothing to do with Rogan. Rogan and those guys were in, they would be sitting in the car talking about Jiu-Jitsu all the time. I didn't give a fuck. I was looking out of window like Rain Man, Stone to the Gills, thinking to myself, what are these fucking assholes talking about? Sweeps and fucking arm bars and shit. But once I watched the UFC, I really started comparing MMA to stand-up. I started looking at my career and what my strengths and weaknesses were.

In the M-MA, you have Jiu-Jitsu, you have wrestling, you have boxing, and you have kickboxing, and you have to combine them, and you have to see how they come at you from all angles. Well, in stand-up, you have storytelling, you have improv, and you have the straight traditional stand-up setup. So I was always very, very good at improv. I started improvving. Not in an improv troupe. I started on stage improvbing by myself because in Boulder every week I had the same fucking mutts,

eating the same fucking steak special, and you had to give them new jokes every week. I couldn't. I wasn't that good in the beginning, so I have to just improvise. So I got really good at improvising. And today, I'm still very good at improvising. There's only one problem with improvising.

That it's either everything or nothing. You either go 100%. I either look like a fucking God that's floating up there, or I eat a bag of shit. The third week at Uncle Vinnie's, when I came back, I ate a bag of shit because I relied on my improvising. I gave up on my fucking storytelling, and I gave up on my traditional set-up punchline routine.

So comedy and Eminemn M&M. are very much connected because they're in art. There's 100 ways to do an armbar. If you walk into three different jiu-jitsu schools, you'll notice that each one will give you a different detail that one didn't give you because it's an art. There's 30 ways to fucking do a Camorra. There's 30 ways to do an armbar.

There's 30 ways to make somebody laugh. So I'm a fan of MMA because it made me a stronger stand-up comedian. When I saw Connor McGregor, I thought he had all the tools. He was great. They hyped him up. The Dennis Seva fight pissed me off, and I became vocal about it, and people took it the wrong way.

Like if I was a, I didn't like Connor McGregor, and that wasn't the case. You guys know I'm not a hater. I give props. Even when I don't like certain people, I may not be a big fan of somebody musically, but I give them props. I saw Jerry Cantrell once at the Roseville Hotel. I said, hello. The guy looked at me like I was fucking, like I had AIDS and COVID.

I could tell he wasn't that nice of a person. I asked around, people were like, you got to stay away from him. He doesn't even do certain radio interviews. You understand me? It's not now. Do I not listen to fucking jar flies, dirt? You know, the other one with the dog on the cover,

Do I not listen to them? Yeah. And I could, fuck, rotten apple and nutshell. There's no better guitar playing. But I just, Jerry Cantrell, I'm not a fan of because of his personality. But whatever, that doesn't, whatever. That doesn't, it doesn't fucking affect me in no way. I'm still a fan of his fucking music.

I was never, never a fan of McGregor. I just wasn't a fan of the treatment. and that Denisieva fight should have really been a Frankie Edgar fight and Frankie Edgar was a different Frankie Edgar then it would have came back. Let's say he would have lost, right?

He was still 25 years old. He was still making money and he still could have in his prime which is 29, 30, 31, he would have been a phenomenal fighter. If McGregor would have took two losses

down the line early, he would have been a phenomenal fighter. So he fights Dennis Siva. I forget who he fights after that. And then they give him all that boxing shit. They give him all that boxing shit when he fought Mayweather. And that takes away from focus.

That takes away from what you're doing. Now, this made all these UFC fighters jaded. You saw. Every time somebody fought, fucking janitor for it he called out connor mcgregor because it made you jaded towards him as a human being not because of his actions listen but the thing of what kabib and all that shit he threw a thing through the glass that's all part of the game there's everything's fair and love and war you got it right all's fair and love and war so what are you guys talking about

it starts with a psychological when you're fighting somebody mcgregor used to use the psychological He'd start with the psychological attack on you. And then he'd break you down with the psychological. When you got into the ring against him, with the lights and everything else, you immediately changed. You couldn't think. It was a statue in front of you that you could not fucking beat. You know, when he beat Eddie Alvarez in the garden, I was very much in shock. The fashion hour, he beat him.

Now, today, I mean, Eddie Alvarez isn't the fighter. was then. But when it came to Dustin Porrier, what did Dustin Porriere, what did Dustin Porre do after Connor McGregor beat him up? He got stronger. He went into the gym and he fought twice as hard. And he kept fighting people one by one by one. Okay, he lost to Khabib too. Kabib is super fucking human. But the difference between Connor and Dustin was exactly what Connor said. Inactivity. the inactivity. Right now I'm a stand-up comic. For seven months, I didn't get on stage.

When I go to get back on stage, I can't tell you guys to pay me all this fucking money to give me 50 fucking bucks. I'm not worth 50 fucking bucks. Why? Because it's inactivity. Now, there's a pandemic going on. I can't get on stage. Nobody else could get on stage.

So we're all going to the same thing. Yeah, people do certain shows here and there, but you're not getting on stage. stage on the amount and the frequency you were getting on stage before this pandemic. So we all suffered. If there was no pandemic going on, I'm out there because as a stand-up, as a basketball player, as a comedian, as a fighter, this is how you're always thinking. You're always saying, fuck, right now my opponent is doing something. When I played basketball and I was a kid when I was in the seventh grade, I'd be out there at

7 o'clock, 10 o'clock at night playing, because I knew that the guys I was going to play against weren't doing that. That's my thinking. When you're a stand-up comic, when you're a basketball player, I remember talking to Dom I Rera and having this conversation as a kid, that from basketball, I took one thing that I have to assume that that other guy is practicing right now. That school we're playing against. They're all together right now, playing in the backyard.

They're probably not. they're probably not they're probably relying on their fucking talent but a guy like me had to work hard when it came to stand up so i had to get on stage multiple times at night two three times working out a joke boom take it to the next place try that joke again oh it didn't work because i didn't set it up right it takes work and it takes activity takes a lot of activity while mcgregor was sitting there saying no and yes and thinking about this and thinking about that Somebody was training. And that person was Dustin Porre.

That person was Charles Alivara. That person was El Cuckooey. That person was Justin Gagey. So right now, what is McGregor's next step? And I love Connor McGregor. And he's got all the talent to pull it off. Remember, you don't know what you did wrong till you're on the canvas. When I did that fucking special, socially unacceptable,

we did two fucking shoots of it. The first time I went up there and shot, I ate a bag of dog shit. Because who was I trying to be? Again, John Mullaney. I couldn't be John Mullaney if I fucking wanted to. You understand me? John Malaney is John Malaney and Joey Diaz is Joey Diaz. I tried to be John Mullaney.

I switched it all around. I went up there and I told the story by the guy with a big dick. I loosened them up a little bit. I became Joe Diaz. I sucked them in and then I attacked. I learned that from experience. from getting knocked down the first time. What did I do not to get the laughs I deserved?

Okay, fine. I went over that, and then after that I got a lot better. I knew what it was to become Joe Diaz. You're going to go to an audition one day, and you're going to come to me and go, Joy, what do I do here? You're going to hear these words constantly, be yourself. When you're sitting there going, but Joey, I am myself, be yourself, be yourself. What does that mean?

They're looking for you. they're looking for what you bring to the fucking table. So every time I go up on stage and I bombed, I don't know if you guys watch the clip this week of Josh Woolf and Bill Burr talking about when Brody and Joey Diaz bombed, they bombed. When I bombed, I'm here to tell you, I bombed, but I bombed with grace because I never told the audience, oh, you fucking suck. What's wrong with you people tonight?

What is this take the state? out of your ass, no. Some comics bomb and they blame it on the audience. Some comics bomb and they blame on the acoustics of the fucking room. Some old comics bomb and they blame it on the drunk lady in row 52. No. Whenever you bomb, you blame it on your fucking self. I know I do. Whenever I bomb, I walk off that stage. There's a little grin on my face. Part of me is breaking. I'm walking like fucking St. Lazarus. Part of me is breaking, but the other part I'm trying to keep my composure

on the way home. I know. I know the answer why I bombed. I came out too cocky. I did this. I didn't use this joke. I set this joke up. I insulted this guy wrong. These are things you learn by doing. But in activity, it's like a fucking stand-up.

It's like when somebody comes up to me and says, I'm going to do fucking stand-up. I'm just waiting for right five minutes. When I walk away, I'm like, good luck. I'm not trying to be a scumbag or negative. I know that you're approaching it the wrong way. I don't want you to write five minutes. I just want you to get on stage and get it over with.

The quicker you get on stage, the quicker you get this disaster over with. It's like people, I'm going to lose weight and join jujitsu. Hello? What are you fucking join jujitsu for to lose weight? You're never going to lose that dirty pounds to join jujitsu. Just go to fucking jiu-jitsu and do it. Inactivity is fucking horrible.

you know the last 10 months the first six months of this fucking thing I couldn't write it wasn't it was an activity I would go to write my journal in the morning I would finish it but when I'd read it back and be talking about sushi and fucking the Mars

and the Kennedy assassination my mind was all over the place I wasn't zoomed in I wasn't fucking focused now I'm focused you know when I first started going to Uncle Vinnie's I was dying in a slow debt. I would have to come back here at night and fucking stay up and write a little bit

and adjust this joke and listen to this one and oof, that joke is fucking horrible. You have to be very honest with yourself. So when Conner hit the fucking Matt against Nate Diaz, when kind of got choked out against Nate Diaz, my life would have changed if I was Connor. I'm already making a million fucking dollars. What's the biggest investment I can make? The investment that you're making yourself. I would have hired Vinnie Magalise off the radar to sign a contract and nobody would know that Vinnie Magalise would be training me with my fucking jiu-jitsu. He's one of the best in the fucking world. I would have the best boxing trainer available to me. You know, I would pull what GSP did. GSP wasn't the champion because he sat at home and fanned his balls.

You know, when I saw GSP on the fucking gymnastic rings looking like fucking fucking. You how can Jesus and Nazareth getting hung upside down? I'm like, this guy's a fighter, but he's doing gymnastics. This guy is exploring his body in ways that nobody else has. He's taking the money he's making, and he's investing in the number one investment you could ever do yourself. So, you know, when Conner lost against Nate Diaz, when he got choked, right there, my game would have changed.

We all rely on that one fucking thing. Yeah, listen, if I'm bombing, all I got to do is slow it down a little bit and go into a story that you've already fucking heard. I could change it around, I could add it. That's what I usually, that was my go-to. You know, if you're bombing, you could always go to a story. I didn't want to be that guy. I wanted to be able to switch it up. If I'm bombing, get my composure back, put my opponent in my guard.

It's putting your opponent back in your guard. and go back to the basics, grab the sleeve, pushing towards you at your knees. It's the same thing over and over and over. Nothing happens. So if my fucking storytelling isn't working, I pull you back into my guard and we start from scratch. That's why I told you how MMA, how Jiu-Jitsu,

and stand-up are the fucking same. When you start going off the beaten path, you pull the motherfucker back into your guard, you hold on to his sleeves, And you push them towards you. That's what, and you pull them towards you. And you try to fucking dissect them from there. Go for an arm bar, sweep them, whatever the fuck you want to do.

It's the same thing with fucking comedy. Conard always dependent on his left hand. You can't just depend on your left hand. You know why? Because everybody's got strength in the UFC. Conner, you know, if you watch the fight against Khabib, watch the fourth round. watch when how quickly

Khabib slips in for the takedown. It is the most brilliant thing in the world. Connor never even saw it. I'm not putting Connor down. I'm just telling you that Khabib was so good at that move that he engaged Connor with his hand.

Boom! And after that, Connor didn't get back up. He tapped. That's the second time he got choked out with a rear naked choke. I wouldn't mind if he got a Camora. I wouldn't mind if Khabib would have got him with a triangle or an arm bar or something. But to get taken down, the same way Nate Diaz took you down, tells me that you didn't work on that.

You didn't work on that fucking move. And again, I'm not here putting down Connor McGregor. I love Connor McGregor. I'm here thinking to myself, if I'm Connor McGregor, what do I got to do next? First of all, here's the problem that you were. There was two key elements in this fight that I didn't like already off the bat against Dustin Porriere. Now, you're looking at me going, Big Mouth, did you bet it? No, I didn't bet it.

I didn't need to bet it. I'm watching. I watched some Michael Chandler fight. I watch a Jessica eye fight. I watch. I'm observing. I'm learning. I'm trying to learn this because I want to work closely with draft kings, and I want to help you guys make money.

Okay? We're trying here, altogether, to do something. So I want you to learn when you look at lines. Lines are everything in gambling. I listen to two things. Somebody asked me during a week, who do you like? He liked for Connor or Dustin? In my heart, I knew that once Dustin fought Connor

and he saw what all the hype was about, that the second time his odds were going to get increased because he had already fought Khabib. He had nothing to lose. He fought Gehji. He fought everybody that he could in that fucking division. Okay, so now you're going to fight Connor

for the second time. You're not going to be scared. You know, once you do the guard in the first time, you're going to be a little fucked up. Once you walk into the second time, you're not going to be fucking scared at all. So I love dusting off of that one, but I also thought Connor was more committed.

Connor said two things. There was two things that happened during this fight that I didn't like. Number one, he said he was running five businesses. When you're running five businesses, your focus on your main business, which is for me, it's stand-up. For me, a stand-up.

For him, it's fighting. I can't run five businesses right now. Can you imagine me trying to run a consulting business, a podcasting firm? I'm not just in charge of Uncle Joey's joint. Now I got 20 podcasts under me Trying to be a dad Trying to be a husband

Somewhere along the line It's gonna fucking slip Somewhere along the line It's not gonna work out I understand you're trying to provide For your family or whatnot But at the end of the day Number one, the first thing you are

Is a fighter So you gotta focus on fighting Every fucking day You know I was having a hard time there Like when I went to shoot the soprano movie Two years ago I had to cancel a few dates. Every day my agent will call me.

When do you want to reschedule the dates? Guess what I did? I stopped talking to the motherfucker. I stopped talking to him and my manager would not take their calls. I'm focusing on a movie, bitch. For me to do the best job I can on this movie, I don't really give a fuck when they reschedule the Texas date or the Utah date or the fucking San Francisco date.

They're not going anywhere. They're going to be there forever. I focus on what's in front of me. And that's what the problem what most people are. They open up a business or something, but they got 90 things going on. Then the business fails,

and they wonder, what the fuck happened? You're trying to cover too much real estate. You're only one person. There's only so many hours in the fucking day. You know, right now I'm having a great time. I'm almost finished with my first chapter. I know it's taken me a little longer than anticipated. I told you from the beginning I was retarded, but I'm sticking to it.

Because I have time to write the book now because I don't have all these other things in my fucking life now. Mercy's back in school, you know. Fucking, I got a little time there. So I make myself hour of 15 blocks and I sit down. Sometimes the leg lately hasn't let me sit because it goes right into the back of my hamstring. And it kind of cuts off circulation sometimes. So I got to be a little fucking nuts, but I'm almost done with it. but I have the time to include the book now

when I was doing all the podcasting and the fucking road work and dealing with industry and auditions I didn't have the time now I got nothing but time they ain't gonna shoot dick till fucking next year said do you follow what I'm saying to you

I didn't like that point that he had five businesses and number two that they're already talking about Khabib he didn't even beat Porreya yet and they're already talking about an upcoming fight with Kibu or we're talking with Kibib for what For what? Let the kid fight. This is why I tell people to work with what's in front of you. I don't give...

Do you think I give a fuck about September right now? Do you think I give a Frenchman fuck about August? I give a fuck about one thing. Monday, January 25th. My stitches are coming out. I got physical therapy. And tonight I get to eat dinner with my family, my wife, and I get to write my book. That's all I give a fuck about. February 19th and 20th I had a date for Uncle Vinny February 19th my birthday to me is like fucking the year 2025

like I don't even think about it's got nothing to do with me I worry about today that's the first move then I worry about the week that's the second move then I worry about the month I try to time everything out but I don't try to worry about

well I'm gonna do this and then I'm gonna do this movie and then I'm gonna reoccur in there I don't worry about that shit that's how you get fucked up by thinking, I worry about what's in front of me. So right away, he hadn't even fought Dustin Porriere. And they're already talking to Kabib.

Why? Kabib already told you. Kabib told you. Khabib is a man's man. Khabib, I get a lot from Khabib because it's like when I tell you, when it's over, it's over. I'm not snorting coke no more. I'm not smoking coke no more. I'm not fucking doing joy karate videos no more.

I stop. When I stop, I stop. There ain't no common. back you guys thought that the church was going to end and someone no it's over we moved on this is what life is about looking back enjoying it something and going fuck it that was fun to do but it's time to move the fuck on i don't want somebody to ask me to leave i want to leave on my own fucking terms so right now if i'm fucking you know last night you saw uh Connor on his back and you saw he was hurt and what do you think was on his mind?

It doesn't matter. I made $10 million. Yes, that's on his mind. That's on my mind too. He's laughing all the way to the fucking bank. But not really, because he's got the heart of a fucking lion, and he's a fucking tiger. He's on his back thinking to himself,

what the fuck happened? I got this fucking Dana already talking to me. Dana, go away. Go away. You're the kiss of death. When was the last time I saw you fight? Not, never. please, go away. I'll call you

when I want to fight Kabib. Let me just focus on Dustin fucking Porriere. But they're already going to fight Dustin. Then you're going to get Kabin. You're going to make the highest sales of your life. And what happened? Now you've got nothing. What are you in talks with Kabib for?

Kabir told you three months ago he's not fighting anymore. Why are you bothering fucking Kabip? Why? You gave him a million dollars twice or three million dollars? You know how much fucking three million dollars gets you in fucking out with? Albanistan, wherever the fuck he's from. Do you have any fucking idea?

He don't do drugs. He buys a t-shirt from times to time. He eats a gyro. What the fuck do you give a fuck? We're going to get Kabib on the phone and let him know. Kabib don't give a fuck. Khab already choked him out and beat up half his fucking family and his friends. He don't want no part of that no more.

Why are you doing this to the kid? So the kid can't focus on what's in front of him. So right now, I'm Connor McGregor. I'm thinking one thing. That's it. That's it. For me to fucking do this, I'm 27 years old. I still got the world by the balls. I've got a couple losses, but this ends. I put a picture of Gus Justin Gagey up in my room. I put a picture of El Cucui up in my room. I put a picture of fucking Charles Lovera up in my room. And that's my list. Nate Diaz, that's over with already. Nate don't want to fight. He don't want to fight. He's got to fight what's in front of him, and that's what's in front of him. You guys were jumping up and down when he beat up a poor fucking busted cowboy.

I love Cowboy Sorone. Big fan of Cowboy Sorone. Great friends with him, got his number, called me a couple months ago for a movie. Listen, Cowboy Soroni has over-served his purpose. He fought every 90 days, and he got old quick. Once he had the kid,

again, another guy that was living fucking 100%. You saw the transformation happen very quickly. So they gave him an old Saron, who I fucking love. I love him as a human being. I love him as a man. I love him as a fighter. But Donald Saroni in his day, with a clobbered fucking,

Connor McGregor. That fight was giving it to him because they knew he was where he was at. They gave fucking Seroon $250,000 for that fucking fight. And Connor made the rest. But now there's no more that. There's no more Nate Diaz. There's no more that.

You got four fucking people in front of you. You got El Ku Kukui. El Kukui is just coming off a loss. That's your next fight. You just came off a loss. You got Al Kukui. You beat El Kukui. You go for Justin Gagey.

You beat Justin Gagey. You got to fight Olivera. I think Oliver is at 155. And if you fight Olivera, and then we go back to Dustin Porriere, Forget about Max Holloway, forget about all those tribe belts and all that shit,

just worry about what's in the front of you, Conna McGregor. I think you're a great fucking fighter. I think you hit hard at a fucking freight train, and I just think that over time you lost

focus of what was in front of you. So many people are coming at you. And bro, listen, I'm a shit-head, shit-eel comic. And I know, that what it's like to fucking having the conversation with Mike about the podcast and getting a call from somebody because somebody always wants something. Oh, they want you to do this. And you're in

the middle of something completely different. I'm in the middle of writing a book. And also somebody calls oh, they're thinking about you for Cologne. And you're like, Cologne. You know, they're thinking about you for advertising a fucking whiskey. You're like, my mind is somewhere else. My mind is in an octagon. I can't stop what I'm fucking doing. What do you think he? You know, it was like one time he fucking didn't come over to do press and people attacked them. Guys, I'm in the middle of fucking training. You want me to get up and take a 24 hour fucking flight, which depletes three quarters of my fucking energy to go do press, to go hear the same fucking questions over and over and over and over again. And I understand there's a lead up to the fight. You're

You have to promote the fight. The fighter has to focus on what he does. Fight. The comic has to do what he does best. Get on stage. When you have all this district, you saw a comic. How many times have you seen a comic that's fucking great? A raw, straight up fucking comic.

And all of a sudden, he gets a TV show. You've been following him since day one. He gets a TV show. You're excited about it. You watch a TV show. You order the shirts. You tell your friends about it. You have viewing parties.

And then you go see his stand-up. And it's fucking a horror show. You're like, what the fuck happened? You know what happened? Time. Time is what happened. He got smoke blown up his ass. That's what happened.

He got so many people coming at him. Publicists, managers, fucking agents, assistants you got all these people coming at you blowing smoke up your ass fake fucking smoke oh that joke about the chicken we love it the joke sucks how do i know who has that happened to you're looking at them the joke sucks but don't tell you whatever the fuck they want to hear to build your confidence i appreciate that but i'd rather you be honest with me and say joey this ain't working this ain't working you got to make it stronger okay then i have to sit down and write out every week

Same thing with this podcast. I was struggling in the beginning. This podcast that I still feel like I'm struggling. But guess what? I'm going to keep pushing. When this podcast opportunity came up and I spoke to Mike, I had two options. I had two fucking options, okay? My first option was to order cameras, drill holes, and wait.

We would have just gotten the podcast started right now. If we wanted to do this podcast, I wanted to do it. do this, this podcast would have just got off the floor by now. We would have just got all the boards, all the wiring, we would have just set up the ball with electricity and everything would have been helped to leap, except we wouldn't have had no fucking guess. We would have been in the same fucking boat. So when this opportunity came up, I had two options. I could sit here, write stupid jokes, go on Twitter, go on Patreon, and keep telling you guys that the podcast is coming soon. The podcast is coming soon. The podcast is coming soon. And meanwhile, Charlie's

doing a podcast. It may not be the podcast and the best podcast in the world, but he's in that bush getting stronger. I'm over here getting fucking weaker telling you I'm going to do a podcast. Do you understand what I'm talking to you about? So I had choices to make, even with this podcast. I came here and sucked dick for fucking three fucking months. I came here at eight fucking ass for three fucking months with this podcast. I had no direction where it was going. I didn't know where it was going. I didn't know. Right now, I still don't know where the fucking podcast is going, but I'm sitting down during the weekend, I'm focusing on what I need to tell you and what the message is to get across. So at least we have something to work with. It's not a two, three hour podcast no more because I'm not a fucking ego.

What am I, Fidel Castro? I'm going to sit here for eight hours and bark out fucking orders. How egotistical do you have to be? This gives me enough time just to tell you what I'm thinking about to talk a subject to you that's common. We're both having common about what we saw on Saturday night, what we both saw on Saturday night. Michael Chandler was great. And still, my heart goes out to Connor. I'm still a fucking fan, and I want him to do this fucking simple thing for me. And that's to put four pictures up. I think he's the number four rated lightweight in the world.

well let's take the number three in front of you and you're going to take them down one by one this would be my plan one by fucking one i get the best jujitual instructor i get that guy from penn state that the world's greatest wrestler whatever you need to do and i'd be out there every day on those fucking mats working out of it your strength are your hands your hands are your strength yeah i'd hit the pad from time to time but i would focus on the stuff that people are going to attack now. What's the first thing that happened last night? Dustin Porreier took him down and a Connor McGregor Stral take down and kept him down and kind of got up, okay, but now that let Connor know he could take him down. So Conner's got to let people know that he can't be taken

down because now everybody that goes up against Connor is going to do exactly what Kabib did is take him the fuck down. And it's that simple and that, but with all that said, I'm still a big Conner fan I hope he comes out of this victorious. I don't want him to have one belt. I just want him to get the one belt and prove his point that he is one of the greatest fighters that the sport has ever seen. But to do that, he has to fucking focus.

And focus is the main thing, and it's what's in front of you. Now, to get off that, we got off that subject. I want to talk to you about something else, then I'll get you the fuck out of here. Because you learn shit. Every week, I talk to Mikey, you know, I talk to my friends.

I talk to a lot of people about a lot of different things every week. And one thing that everybody has, one thing that we all share in common, whether we're LGBTQ, whether you were fucking, we like to eat pussy, whether we like to eat ass, is the gift of the relationship. You know, when I was a kid, I was raised Catholic. And I don't know if you guys know the seven sacraments. It's like baptism, fucking, not confirmation.

What's communion? Confirmation. Fucking, appointing of the sick. There's like seven of them, you know? Anyway, it doesn't really matter. But one of them, one of the sacraments, is marriage. And I said, kid, I was always like, why the fuck is marriage a fucking sacraming?

you know like i never really fucking thought about it okay i'm talking to an audience here that's between 20 and 32 you guys have girlfriends you guys have living girlfriends some of you guys leon you just live your life slinging dick over there in fucking spain i love you to death uh you know j bish has a steady wife you know bob has a steady wife we all have different different relationship issues. When I was 20, 21, I didn't know what to expect from marriage. I knew I wanted to be married. I really did want to be married. But I didn't know what to expect from it. So, August of 85, I met a girl and four years later, we got married under the weirdest fucking conditions in the world. But we got married. Did it work? No, it didn't work. It didn't work

because I never worked on my marriage. I am not ashamed to say this. I thought marriage was, you marry a girl, you fuck, she does laundry, you cook, you pay the bills, and I thought that's what a marriage was. If you go into a marriage thinking that way,

it's going to fail, or you're going to have, like, not a healthy marriage, you know? I'm not a marriage counselor. I'm just telling you. you what I live through, you know. So when I first got married, I got married like anybody else. I was young. I was stupid. I thought I knew what love was. You know, I was in love in the sixth grade.

Obviously, it got me left back. And then when I was 19, 20, I fell in love with another girl that I really had deep feelings for. She wasn't wife material and I wasn't husband material. And we missed our mark. And that really broke my heart, my relationship in 84. With dear friends today. Today with me and her are dear friends. She lives 20 minutes from me in Jersey. We talked once, twice a week.

You know, whatever, love. We were in love. We were better friends than we were lovers of boyfriend and girlfriend. But after my heart got broken in 84, I did what every other man does. Oh, I'm not going to ever get married again. never going to have another girlfriend again. I'm going to live my life like Charles Bronson.

You know, I grew up on Charles Bronson and Clint Eastwood and men like that that. They didn't have women. They, it was like a woman was a pest to them. They had a woman, but they were sort of like a pest, like it told her. You know, and that's what I looked at women as when I was 21 to 25. I had respect for them. I had respectful women. I mean, it wasn't that I was disrespectful.

I just didn't really know the games of marriage and why they call marriage a gift. I know that on October 15th, 1991, when that girl came in and told me she wanted to get separated, I was very happy because I could do comedy now. I wasn't happy because I couldn't raise my daughter, but through time, another unhappiness took over my heart. and it was the unhappiness of failing at marriage. I failed at the most common thing that we do, the gift of communication. I failed.

Guys, I don't know how to tell you this. I cried myself to sleep more between 1993 and 1996 than I did the years after my mother died, and I was 10 years younger. I cried myself to sleep because I wanted to be a productive member of society. I cried myself to sleep because I wanted to succeed as a comedian.

But the tears that came out of my face, the hardest was the tears of losing my wife and failing as a husband. Because you've got to be fucking retarded to fail as a husband. And I did fail. I failed with a fucking F plus. Okay?

And I'll tell you, What, as freelancers I am, as much as I like to fuck around and eat ass and blow up things, it affected me. That divorce affected me because it wasn't bad enough that I had a GED. It wasn't bad enough that I went to prison. It wasn't bad enough that I didn't have a family. Now it's bad. You failed at a common fucking thing, marriage. You just failed, guy.

There's no two ways of fucking looking at it. that. So, before you go tapping yourself on the back, thinking you're a fucking comedian, you failed at fucking marriage. And guys, it bothered me. It bothered me. But I did what we would do. I did what the old Joey Dears would do. I'll never get married again. I don't have to deal with it again, right? That's what we do naturally is losers. I'm a loser, so that's what I do. I don't deal with it again. I'll never do that again. You know, it's a smart thing, and it's what a loser does. I'm never going to get on a horse again.

No, you've got to get on that horse again. No matter what it is. Get on the horse. Whether you want to continue to do it, that's up to you. But you've got to figure it out again. So for years, from 91 to whatever, my life was a relationship mess. I had girlfriends, and I had girls. I slept with over drugs.

That didn't make me feel a lot better either. You know, that didn't make me feel better. I could lie to you. When I crack those jokes, they're funny, but just having sex with people and then going home the next day, and then you see them out and you wave, and that's it, that, that's it.

That didn't feel good either. So I knew that it wasn't going to work, but I was a loser. I couldn't be with a woman because I had nothing to bring to the fucking table. But 2000 comes along and I meet this fucking little cute red, neck named Terry and we go for coffee and I looked at the relationship from a different angle. I said,

if I want this to work, I have to work at this fucking way. I can't let us go there. I can't let us do this. And I worked it. And though, she'll tell you, there was times after our first five years that she had problems with me on the behavioral level, not as being mean to her or whatever. I just stuck to a plan because I wanted it to work. I had ruined enough relationships. Like I said in the beginning of even when on the church, you want me to help you ruin a relationship? Call me.

If you want to ruin a relationship, hit me up on an email. I'll get you out of there in three days. I'll get a pack in the bags for you. I'll even get her to give you an advance to leave. I'm the king of breaking up relationships. But for once I wanted one to work. And one thing I was with her for a year, then we were living together for a year,

then came five years, then in 2007 I got clean from cocaine, then two years later I thought to myself, what the fuck was I thinking? Why haven't I married this girl? Is it because of my fear from the first marriage? Yeah, it was, because I don't think I'm going to have to cover the spread. Yeah, it was.

Well, guess what, bitch, you're going to have to cover the spread as a man. So whatever the fuck you're feeling or doubting, you better push that to the side and you better marry this girl because if not you're going to lose her. And if I lost Terry, I wouldn't be here today. Without Terry, I wouldn't be in this position today because I didn't make Terry my wife.

I made Terry my partner. I made Terry my partner. And instead of not taking her opinions because she wasn't a comedian, I started taking her opinions. And I started asking her for questions. and I started asking a different about scenarios. And instead of being a hard net,

it's like I was telling somebody there on the phone, you could go so long. I was talking to Christy Bellich, a dear comic friend of mine. And I was telling her that you could go so far, even in music. Mike is sitting right across from me. You could go so far in music,

but at some point you're going to need help. It may not be the help you want to need, but you're going to need help. They're going to show up. Help will arrive. In my situation, you know, she did a tape last week, and she was talking about all she ever wanted was the comedy store. And I called her up and I go, Christy,

and all the years I know you, you couldn't pull me aside and go, Joey, I want a job as a dog girl at the store. Can you do something for me? For Christy Bellich, I want to have done it in a heart attack because I know she's a hard worker. Look at Christy, follow Christy Bellich on Facebook now. She's out every night doing comedy. COVID or no COVID.

Then she's reading horoscopes. She's a hustler. So when you're a hustler, I got your fucking back. So I called and I go, why don't you tell me that you wanted to be a doggirl at the store? I would have got you into the fucking store. It's all these little fucking things that if there comes a point in your life that you're doing great, but you're going to need help. And it comes sometimes in the help of a woman.

And in my case, that's what I needed. I have to, and I have on it, to admit something to you guys. without my wife. I don't know, Dick. I don't know how many times a week somebody will call me and say, Joey, we need the answers to this. And I go, that's great.

You don't have to talk to my wife because I don't know, I don't know the answers to that fucking question. I don't have the answers to that question. So I made my wife my partner and my life changed 150%. I have a life. I have a life because I made her my partner.

Not my wife, my partner. whatever she doesn't whatever she lacks i'm strong in and wherever i lack she's fucking strong in so we fit like a glove we fit like fucking o j's glove bitch you know what i'm saying damn i fit in there just like o j's glove and i didn't know this this is how weird life is i have been with terry for 20 years and it's like i told you guys i did not know what the gift of marriage was until last week. Until 10 days ago, the first time I had to go in a shower with my fucking stroller and she had to sit there and watch me take a fucking shower. I felt like prison. The first time you take a shower in prison, the guards watch you. They fucking watch you. You know

how fucking humiliating that is? For one second, I looked over and I saw her looking at me and she was looking at me with eyes of concern that I wouldn't fall over that I wouldn't slip that I wouldn't get hurt and I'll tell you I looked at her and I go wow wow as I was fucking shampooing my hair and shaving I was thinking about and again I don't want to sound like that asshole because it could be anybody what God has done for us by making marriage a gift it's not a fucking sentence, man. People think that marriage is a death sentence. When I see a guy that's been married four times, I go, Jesus Christ, what did you do? Did you not learn? Did you not get it right from the first time? I got marriage right after the first loss. You know, again, right there in

divorce court is where you realize all the things you didn't do. And it's not the big thing. It's not the trips to Hawaii. It's not the diamond rings. It's not the fucking engaging. It's where you realize. It's where you It's not the birthday parties with 50 of your favorite friends. Ha ha ha ha. You know, it's not the bottle of wine. It's the little things, taking out the garbage, rubbing their feet, asking them if you could help them with the dishes, you know, asking them. These are little things that women appreciate more than anything in the world.

There's times I come in. I'm not doing it. I'm like, mercy. Let's get the fuck out of. My wife is like, where are you taking it? Anywhere, just to give you a breather. You know, Friday night, I was in pain here. Friday night I was in pain.

You know, we went to physical therapy. On the way back, I got cars sick. I puked. My wife came back. She goes, you know what? I'm canceling my thing tonight with the guy. I go, what are you talking about? What are you talking about?

I go, you've been in this fucking house all week. Taking care of some fat fuck. Smelling his balls when you change his leg. I go, go out, have a fucking great time. I order Chinese delivery. Whatever the fuck. ordered. I didn't end in the pot or anything. I just had a salad upstairs. But I realized what the gift of fucking marriage was. It's a sacrament for a reason. You know, when I was in there and I was watching

her bathe me, I thought about those words in sickness or in health. Look at your girlfriend right now. Think about 30 years from now. If you get sick, is she the type of woman that's going to sit there and take care of you and watch you and wipe your fucking? ass. Listen, I don't know about you. The day somebody wipes my ass, please, just come over and put a rope around my neck. Just come over and put a rope around my neck. That's how I've always thought about it. The day somebody has to wipe my ass, I'm going to be, because I can never live with something like that. I have a hard time with somebody bringing me a water. Never mind wiping five fingers up my ass. I'm wiping it. But through sickness and in health, those words rang so fucking

a heart loud in my heart and my soul 10 days ago that it made me look at my wife completely differently after 20 years you know next time you go home you know and I was brought up in shit I was brought up in shit relationships my mother didn't have a relationship of one that was a fucking that was a fucking shit show you know but I grew up around people who really loved each other the benders the bowzanos you know I grew up around couples that are still together today looked at them and I wondered what made them stay together and you know what as a man you got to shut your fucking pile listen to them listen to what they have to say to you they have a voice too hey when I was 20 25 30 I didn't think this way at all I thought fuck them let you know

cook dinner where's my laundry what a fucking jerk off I was especially how I was raised my my mom was not that type of woman that was just going to sit there I'm lay down Sally and do laundry and take your fucking orders from you. That was never going to happen. So next time you look at your girlfriend and you think about life, because trust me, something I didn't do was think about my 50s. I never thought about my 40s. I never thought about my 30s because I was having such a great time with the fucking drugs.

I never thought I would make it to that far. But surprise. Hello, God kept me here. And now I'm 58 years old. I can barely fucking walk. getting better and stronger every day. But I learned the biggest gift of this, one of the biggest gifts of life

is the Holy Sacrament of fucking marriage. And if you ever get a chance to do it, go in there with a smile on your face and be proud that you're fucking qualified to be a husband and a father. I never thought I would do this. I failed at this 20 years ago. In 1990, I failed at being a father.

In 1991, I failed at being a husband. and it fucking stuck with me and it burned a fucking hole in my heart. And here I am today with a daughter, with a wife, who I fucking happily love, and I have no qualms with. I want to die with her.

I want to die first because I couldn't let it. If my wife died, I just have a heart attack at the fucking funeral. I can't live without it. But anyway, enough that that morbid debt, I just wanted to talk about Connor McGregor today and the gift of fucking marriage and how important it is.

And if you ever do it, take it fucking 100% seriously And put 100% commitment into it No fucking nothing You know, if you When you get married It's because you're ready to get married Don't get married Because my mother thinks I should get married

If you still want to hang out with your friends And snort blow Then don't get fucking married Don't waste nobody's time If you still want to go to your buddy's house All day Sunday And watch TV with your friends Yeah, it doesn't bother your girls

but it's going to bother your wife because she wants you to spend some time with her there's all these different things i'm happy i was man enough to push my pride aside some of my manhood aside to make this marriage work i'm very happy because i could have not lived my life with two divorces that's an automatic fucking death sentence for me as a human being as a catholic and as a man and that's it for January the 25th 2021 I wish I could have made this podcast funnier today but it is what it is funny comes out when it's supposed to come out

it's not supposed to be forced I'm happy you're still even watching me I'm having a great time thank you I'm having a great time on the Patreon thank you for the messages like I said I'm leaving here to go do PT and to get the stitches out I wanted to get the

out of the way first. I still would have some color in my face because after they take the stitches out, I think I'm going down today. But I'll be back Wednesday. And don't forget tonight for Draft Kings, you got NBA action, you got college action.

We're going to walk you right through this. I don't want nobody getting into any fucking gambling problems or gambling debts. We're going to do this the right way. Small amounts. Every week, we get better and better. I want to thank you for watching, I want to thank you for watching for being on Patreon three five and ten dollars

I'm gonna put a merch line out pretty soon for hoodies short shirt short sleeve t-shirts and the junkie t-shirt the one I like I like long sleeve just in case you're a junking you're hiding something or you want to put a knife in there or a straw to shoot BB guns whatever the fuck you're into that's why I like the long-sleeve shirt But anyway, it's Monday, the 25th of January. I love you guys. Thank you for watching. We'll be back Wednesday, Cocksuckers.

And if you want to listen to a short podcast tomorrow, the Joey Deere's Project will be on Patreon. Like I told you, $3.5 and $10 if you can't get enough of me. Me, I can't get enough of me either. That's why I'm getting the fuck out of here. I love you guys. Thank you very much for watching the joint. See you Wednesday morning.

Stay black. All right. want to thank you motherfuckers for listening today. It's Monday morning. I like to get you in and out of there so there's no drama. Let's start with the fucking basics. Uncle Joey's joint is brought to you by honor.com. Why audit? Because they're the best. Anybody who gives you a product and tells you if you don't like it, you don't have to send it back and they'll send you the money back, that tells me your character. That tells me that you believe in your fucking product. How many people do that? Nobody. You ever go to your drug dealer? Oh, this weed sucks. I

my money back through bed. You smoke the joint. Fuck it. You broke it. You pay for it. Not on it. They play by the fucking rules. And if they do that with their flagship, I can't imagine. They got the melatonin. They got the shroom tech. They got the new mood. The shroom tech is tremendous. Whether it's the immune or the sport, they're both fucking tremendous. Now they got the protein power puffs. Another thing that's tremendous. Korean barbecue flavored and spicy cheddar. Let me tell you something. These fucking things, this little bag has 15 grams of protein. That's two fucking eggs. You understand me? Right here. Protein powerpubs, Korean barbecue, and they taste great. Tremendous little snacks in between. Go to honor.com right now and press in church and get 10%

off delivered right to your motherfucking house. On it is the way to go. The joint is also brought to you by C. B. D. Lion. Why, Joey? Because I don't want you going to a fucking bodega and buying some fucking CBD from some guy that don't even know how to get the fucking Connecticut. That's why. Is that good enough for you? This guy can't chew bubblegum and walk at the fucking same time and you're trusting your life in his hands. Uh-uh. What you're going to do is you're going to go to CBDline.com right now.

Read. Read. Read. Knowledge is power. Iacoka. Read. Learn about what the fuck is going on here with CBD. and how it could affect you.

Whether you have arthritis, whether you have anxiety, whether you have neck pain. If you have an ailment, CBD Lion has a cure. Go to CBD Lion, whether it's the gummies, the Roland,

the bat, the bath balls, the vapor pen, the CBD Kinesiology tape, which I've been used and also on the sides. I don't even have it. My leg isn't even purple no more.

I mean, this thing has done miracles with the surgery. I want to tip my hat. I even reached out to Andrew at CBD Line. and told them, now I really, really see the effects of CBD Lion and how they work since I had the surgery. Go to CBD Lion right now.com.

Read the third-party lab results. Press in church or Joey and get 10% off delivered right to your fucking house. The best CBD products on the market from your uncle Joey. I'm not fucking kidding around. Go to CBD Lion right now. Now, you know me, dog. I'm just like you motherfuckers. I like to make a little motherfucker money on the side,

but you've got to be smart about it, especially when it comes to gambling, and especially when it comes to draft kings, because they give you a thousand and one different ways to make a fucking dollar, whether it's sports betting, the poker rooms, the odd boosts, they got it all, parleyes, fucking specials.

I mean, they ran a special Saturday. McGregor, a dollar, you get $257 back. McGregor came close, but what did you have to lose for a dollar to win 257. That's why I do business with Draft Kings. I love everything about them. And this the season to be fucking jolly right here. Listen, for some, like kids get a, kids' little dicks get hard in December. Santa Claus is coming. Well, it's January, bitch. And Draft Kings is fucking showing up with the golden tickets. The moment we've all been waiting for. The season is

right around the corner. Draft King is the official partner of Super Bowl 55 is bringing back their golden tank a giveaway with up to $55 million in prizes. That's $55 million with your name on each one of them. Could you imagine what you do with a million dollars right now? Go to Portugal, eat an octopus, get your dick sucked. These are the advantages of getting a million dollars. You want to get it on the action, all you got to do is enter Draft King's free Super Bowl prediction challenge.

And here's the best part. They're going to give you a chance to instantly win as soon as you submit your picks up to $20,000 bucks. That's a lot of fucking Guitus. And if you're right, you got a chance to win $1 million. Guys, you've been reading

tea leaves all your fucking year and looking into a crystal ball, getting your mojo in order to shoot your shot. Well, now is the time to get it. Bet on yourself. But the best part of this, the whole challenge, is absolutely free to enter. Just download the app. That's it. Download

it, the fucking Draft King Sportsbook app, it's highly rated, download it, and enter the free prediction challenge and answer a few simple questions that you already know the answer to. Who will score last? You know who. And boom, there you go. You're

fucking out of cash register, getting 20 spit out on you. Since 2012, Draft King has paid over $7 billion. Your big pay day is around the corner. In other words, your ship is coming in. But you're to play the fucking win.

So go to draftkings.com right now. Download the app and enter the free $55 million Super Bowl prediction challenge. Everybody gets an instant prize up to $25,000 just for fucking playing. Use promo code Joey. Now enter the free $55 million Super Bowl challenge only at Draft Kings, the official daily fantasy partner of Super Bowl 55. Terms, conditions, and eligibility restrictions apply. See draftgings.com for details.

Don't forget to download the app right now as we speak and press code Joey to enter the $55 million challenge. I love you, motherfuckers. Have a great Monday, and I'll see you Wednesday, all right? I'm over here waiting for the fucking snow like an Eskimo. Stay black.