The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - 05/06/2013 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #77

Episode Date: May 7, 2013

Comedian and film buff Rick Ramos calls in. This podcast is brought to you by Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH at checkout for a discount. Streamed live on 05/06/2013

Oh shit. Oh shit. It's that fucking day. Today is the fucking day. Monday, May 6th. Cinco de Mayo could suck my dick that was yesterday. Today's a whole different day. Take the tequila, take the sweeten sour out and drink it straight.

Pour it on your fucking cock. It's going to be that type of Monday. The church or what's happening now, motherfucker? Lee Syatt in the house. Kick it Lee. Let them get this shit in their veins. Tukatokutaka. Oh shit

How many more times are you gonna get kicked in the ass by that fucking boss? How many more times is the chick gonna fucking lie to you before you stabbing the fucking forehead? How many more fucking times have to kick in the ass before you take what belongs to you and tell all these motherfuckers They could suck your big black cock It's a beautiful there to be alive I'm definitely gonna kick down on my apartment today Oh shit Please.

There's a black family that lives with a lobe. Please be the fuck them. Get up to your black fucks. Jumping Jax. Put the aphros on. What's up, baby? Not much, man. How's Austin?

Beautiful fucking Iron Man over here. What happened to fucking heart. I saw Iron Man with friends. They wanted to see Iron Man. I went to see Iron Man. It was fun. Relax. Your fucking reef of Iron Man.

I already smoked. A little red shirt. A little red shirt. Like you'll fly around. Anything that's fun. You got to go. What? You go to the fucking movies? What? You have dinner? What?

No, no. He went to the movies with two chicks instead of one like he was supposed to. It's hard enough for him with the one. He has to go with her friend too instead of saying, no, who's this fucking chick? Get the fuck out of here. I'm trying to sling some dick. You follow me? That's all I'm trying to do. What am I? I'm making out of the movies again?

Sure. That's where it starts. And the fucking, you know, you go to a movie to see that shit? You're fucking 24 years old. You really have to see Iron Man's around? Get it together, cuck. It was a good movie. You're fucking. You can't get mad about everything. It's a good movie. Jesus Christ.

No, what? I got to toughen you up over it. You like ice cream? Fuck you. I love ice cream. You don't need ice cream. You get Jolato. Like, I don't fucking ice cream.

I love ice cream. I just say, you're supposed to be banging this chick a month ago, and you're still going to movies with her and the girl. That's all I'm trying to say. An Iron Man. You got to take it to something romantic if you want a finger-banger in the movie theater. She has a boyfriend right now. I can't do that.

This is what I deal with people. Every fucking day of my life. life. I got sons. I got soldiers. This fucking glute over here, whatever the fuck he is. You just might go forward. But I'm proud of you. You fucking swam. That's like a Jewish mook.

A gulut. That's like a Jew mook. Yeah, I did. It was actually because you were in Austin and you were on the Onet podcast. And you brought me up. You didn't say my name, but you just said, like, I have a pool in the gym. I do. And we were talking last week and he said

did he swim? And I said no. And it's it's it's uh it's not because of my joints or anything it's honestly and i hate using the term lazy because i work hard at other things but i've always hated working out so it's a kind of laziness and i like i was sitting here watching and i was like i should go swim and it was like a hundred degrees i was hot this fucking hot it's hot out there the water's nice to jump in it's kind of nice and i did uh i did six laps but i would do length and i'd have to take a break yeah i haven't swam for fucking 10 years but i know how to swim because i've taken swimming lessons i know i did well no no i thought i was

I just want to use a run across. Oh, no, I don't. Oh, you fucking run across. That's a fucking nightmare, too. That really fucked up. Well, it's a deep end, and I'm fucking 5'4, so I'm halfway through, I sink. So I had to swim.

But no, it was actually, it was a good time, and I couldn't do it yesterday because it was a little too cold, but I'm going to keep doing it because it was fun. Get some sun, you'll be a little dark-skinned Jew. Oh, shit. You know, from the northern hills of Jerusalem? So, you know, nothing wrong with that.

And people understand, like, Swimming is the easiest fucking thing. Like if you put a belt on, like I'll get you a butt. You go to sports, Laurel Canyon and Moore Park. You can buy a swimming belt. Oh, like for weights? Oh, no, no. It keeps you afloat.

So you can float in the pool. And you ride your bike, like in your mind, you're pushing your bike. Okay. In the deep end, 15 fucking minutes. You have no pain. It's not like, listen, this is the misnomer that they have with fat guys. That we go to a gym, and all of something, they got us jumping on a box doing PX90. You know, that's great at fucking first.

All those guys that the PX, they didn't start them, they didn't show them in the fucking beginning. They show them fat in the fucking picture. Yeah. They didn't show them jumping up and fucking down in the beginning like that. No, they fucking didn't, okay? Because any fucking fat guy without warming up properly, he's going to get fucking hurt.

Yeah. And then you know how many PX 90s you're not too many fucking PX 90s? It's like PX3. Three fucking days are PX and you're fucking done. So all I'm trying to do is look out for a motherfucker because I know I started out in that fucking pool when I was 4 and 15 pounds. They put me on a treadmill. And the guy goes,

who don't have to put you on a treadmill? it's fucking retarded because you're going to hurt your feet, your joints are going to hurt, unless you do it to supplement what you're doing, like a day or two and then you swim three days or something. Yeah. I don't want you sore. I don't want you thinking about it. I want it to be fun.

And by it being fun, what happens is you're going to pool, right? You're going to pool. You're going to the fucking pool. You get sun. You're going to fucking pool. And one day there's a fat chick while a hot chick in the pool or there's kid in the pool and you can't get out of the pool the usual way. So you get out the other way and you have to walk past the fucking gym.

And you say to yourself, while I'm out here, I might as well go in there and do a bench press because that's how it starts. And you do a couple curls. Then one night you take a shower, you wash your little fucking pussy as you're putting powder in your fucking face or in your balls, you see a vein in your arm.

And you go, you know what? The 20 minutes of swimming I'm doing and the 10 minutes I'm doing the gym is making a fucking difference. I got a vein in my arm. I'm going to go online and read about this and get involved in it. And next thing you know, that's how to start it.

And now you have no pain. You're doing it because you want to do it. But like we always say, little commitments become big. commitments listen bro nobody wants you run tub you you ever see me fucking running around with a bicycle helmet on in the heat fuck you but I'll jump in a pool and walk for 30 minutes or run and you know what who gives a fuck if you're not missed the olympia at least you're doing something yeah nobody says you gotta be jack-o-lane bro but it's a lot better than sitting there watching the

south things get beat for the 80th oh yeah anything's better than that and i thought of you because there's a bunch of kids in this complex and i went like saturday afternoon like 3 30 and i even looked at my windows like if there's a thousand kids in then i'm not going to go and There is no one. No one. If I had a pool in my yard when I was a kid. Nobody ever thinks of swimming in their own pool. Yeah.

They always go to somebody's barbecue or whatever. But I guarantee once it's supposed to kick in here like 2,000 fucking degrees. Okay. So let's see what happened. That's how it starts late. And, you know, whatever people, I know people know that where my heart is when I say you're jumping that fucking pool. Because that's the easiest way of a quicker solution. Now you're juicing.

You're on day. Day six. I'm making videos. I can know I'm starting them tonight. fucking freaky shit. Hi, my name is Lee. I have an eating four three fucking day.

God has done a job last week, I said Jesus fucking Christ. But I was having not a hard time. Did you look at those? Did you still have them on archive? Yeah.

Look at the third one from the third day. Oh yeah. You want to fucking shoot you, you said. Hi, my name is Lee. You were bummed out. You were from the shooting

from the side. I don't know what to do. No, I was positive. The fuck. Holy shit. I was like this. motherfuckers. I'm not having them hanging with the juicer under him.

You know what I'm saying? But everything's all right. You got the carriage, you got the ginger. Yeah, I have to go I have to go shopping today. Yeah, I had... Do you eat popcorn last night? No, I didn't call right now. But, uh... Don't lie to me. I was upon... I didn't eat shit. You ate something. I can't eat shit. What are you talking about?

But I was having a talk about night last night. I wanted to talk to you about it. Because you, you talk about Coke, but we haven't really ever talked about it. Cook. Well, about... Like, or the weight loss or anything you've been through. We talk about how, like, you've done it.

But, like, last night I was kind of feeling like, oh, I don't really want to do this. Like, you've, you tried to quit Coke and you tried to lose weight more times before you finally did it. So, like, can you, like, I was in, I was thinking. With Coke or quick when I started with the diet. Both, either of them. But just, like, like, you always go through it,

and like, you start and you stop, you start and you stop, and you don't want to do it. Like, we, you know, you haven't really talked about that before. And I'm sure. Well, when I stop coke, I stop something, I stop something. When I put it in my head. So you never tried to quit over those 30 years? Coke?

Yeah. I tried to quit maybe early on, like 88. And then I came before comedy. Yeah. And then I came to the conclusion of it was part of who I was. The addiction made me lie to myself than who was. And then once I got to L.A., I thought about quitting, but people said once you quit, you won't be funny no more. So that scared the shit out of me.

that I was doing to go on stage I'm the type of person that I don't want to disappoint myself and we always do we always disappoint ourselves so I don't really want to I didn't want to be one of those people that went into 18 rehabs

that's fucking embarrassing that's fucking embarrassing okay after two or three you gotta make a fucking decision and be honest with yourself you stop wasting fucking people's time and giving people for a fucking old why are you doing that you know you're gonna keep snorting why are you lying to people

and you know as they're talking to you know that's why tell people, people on how do you know? It's like, when you see a UFC fighter, and he's like, yeah, I'm going to go with him in the best fight condition. And he goes in there, you don't throw a fucking punch. You're just talking. You're just lying to your fucking self. You're unsure yourself, and that's who we have these people are.

I didn't want to. I didn't want to. Well, that's, because I was thinking about it, because you just said, like, you kind of have to do it for yourself. Because honestly, when I felt like, honestly, like, and it's just now, like, I was never doing it for myself before. Because, like, I grew up and I've always been happy or happy-ish, but like I never really had that much self-confidence

and it's kind of, I was at a party last night, a few nights ago and someone said to me like, you seem very confident and no one's ever ever said that to me ever in my life and like I finally feel like things are kind of trying to change and like even when I first tried to lose weight I was doing it

because like oh girls like skinnier guys but that's not even really for me so like it's kind of weird that you kind of have to do it for you like you have to actually do it because you want to do it and it's but it was Like, it was tough last night, and I had to rewatch the movie last night that I got the juicing from to, like, get motivated. But it's weird.

It's, uh... Listen, man, everybody does shit. When you go in a positive direction, we all have to do shit that we don't want to do. You know, why it takes us out of our comfort zone. Yeah. Our comfort zone is the most important thing to us. You know, since for 20 years, I'd love to be pushed out of my comfort zone because it inspires you. Yeah.

When I push out of your comfort zone, it's going to make, you know, my kid right now, my little door. order. I sit her up. You know, and she falls and my wife picks her back up. When she falls, I give her a couple minutes to try to figure out what the fuck just happened. And the other day I was watching and she pulled the leg over. She pulled the other leg over and she spun.

And she was pissed and she cried. But she did it. Yeah. So by me pushing it, she's fucking rolling more now off to boom position. You follow me? She falls to the right-hand side. She falls to the left. She knows now to kick her leg over. We excel when we are taking out

of our fucking comfort zone. And if I can't, I have to personally take myself out of my comfort zone. You know how I start the day by going out of my comfort zone? What? I ain't an edible.

That's quite a way to spend the day. You know why? No, no, no, no, you're not going to believe this. Why? I'm the type of guy that I always want to be in control. That's why I don't drink. I don't drink because I'm going to

anti-A-A or anti-whatever. In 1983, I saw my friend get his ear bit off by Danny B. They went on the call, say Danny B wins. Yeah. And ever since that night, I couldn't help him. And I felt so bad for being drunk that it fucked with me.

And that's how it fucked with me. Okay. I always want to have one leg going. When I'm giggling at that joke, and we were giggling that day at the fucking, at the, when you cracked me the fuck up at the coffee shop that day, I was really laughing.

I lost fucking control. I didn't like it. Remember I got up and left. Remember I got up and left. Yeah. I don't like not losing. So when I use an edible, is to make me lose control

to push me out of that thing because I know great things are going to happen and listen man for me it's an edible for somebody else it might be something else but you have to push yourself

out of the comfort zone on a daily basis for you to get anywhere in this fucking life you think I like huffing puffing thinking I'm gonna fucking die with two pair underwear on and a fucking gym

yeah fuck no but I know that there's an earthquake how can I save my family not by walking you gotta grab those two bitches and start fucking running so you know it's on the couch nothing good happens and I know we all lazy we all have a great time

I love putting my feet up and watching a fucking old movie too but in the middle of that movie I know I got to be doing something even if I get up for 10 minutes and do it it's done when I fucking work out in the daytime my day is done I know that I made myself do something that I'm not getting paid for nothing but I know that the payment is me living an extra day or if I go to a hospital my blood pressure not being high that day that's the payment so please every day

day take yourself out of your comfort zone a little fucking way every fucking day you know when I go on the road I can't sleep but by not sleeping it makes me write a fucking jokes so I wrote three new fucking jokes this week oh really? Yeah so go out of your fucking jokes by the way I had a great time in Austin Texas this weekend I came home a little sick

oh yeah a little cold but let me tell you know what makes Austin the people oh really you told me it was the packed and I was saying hi but the people of Austin have always made a difference because they're free spirits you don't move to Austin, because you just move to fucking Austin. And around it, the places is a little uptight, they'll arrest you for

weed, they'll throw you in fucking jail and put you under the fucking jail and throw away the key. But Austin has a certain perception of people. The people that live there are very laid back. They're very anti-organization, anti-Texas, but anti-Rules. And they want to make their own little fucking thing that's like Boulder.

It's like Asheville, North Carolina. It's like so many little artists slash communities, you know? And the people, and the people, And listen, the people show up with 22 fucking pounds of weed. We smoked 82 fucking joints every night outside the fucking showroom, you know? People shut up with edibles. They had chew shiba bars.

Oh, shit. They had chocolate bars. Some guy gave me a chocolate bar Friday night. I had the best set of my fucking life Friday night. I was so fucking high. It was amazing. I will try to go to Austin from now on two or three times a year because I forgot how happy my life was when I was going through Texas.

Yeah. And all you ate was the fucking salads? I had a, I had barbecue. One night. Oh, you did have it. Okay, because you posted the pictures of those salads. The bartenders brought, I went to Papa Does. Pop-A-Dose is a restaurant that I cannot even describe you.

I've been eating Papa Doze since Houston in 1998. And I went, I already ate all the fried shit. I already had the oysters. I've already had everything they've had to offer on the killer fat man menu. Okay. They have a fucking sensational, if you really want to just eat fish. I had the halibut with dirty rice. one day. I can't even

describe it to you with a lemon on top of the fuck. And I got this big tomato salad with a couple blue cheese crumbles. But for the only other, every other time I went in there, I went in there all three days. Did you really? Oh, fuck yeah. And I had the same thing. I had the seafood gumbo with the sausage.

A fucking cup. I didn't heat the bread to watch my weight. I didn't have the bread and butter because the bread and butter is fucking delicious. And they got a banana pudding. That the cum will come out of your asshole and drips. With little chunks of banana in there. And I didn't have that.

Because I've eaten there for 20 fucking years is what I'm telling you. So I know that you could be huge. Listen, I can go to Papado's and have an appetizer, bread. They have the lobster, the lobster soup. Okay. They have that cream lobster bisque. The brood lobster bisque. So I would open up with the lobster bisque.

Then I would get something fried with French fries. You know, the fried filet basket with French fries and a mixed grill. And then I would get the cheesecake and then close up with a double express. or a real fucking cane sugar. Oh, no, no, no. I can eat fucking 200 points in a Papa Dode. But you've got to figure out how to go to Papa Dodes and how to make it work for you.

So I have a little cup of the end, the only fucking sausage with the gumbo shrimp, which is delicious. My assholes on fire right now. And then I would have the seafood chop salad, which is a little, these tremendous prawns, with some crab meat, with some lettuce, with some cucumbers, with some tomato,

a couple of avocados. Yeah, it looks good. Some fucking Texas bacon, smoked apple. wood fucking bacon are you kidding me or what and I got a half order on the bacon like I said cut it in half so you don't get the full bacon cut the avocado in half a little blue cheese dressing in that motherfucker and I mix it up vo vooom pull it oh I want to be around Tony Bennett's Monday fucking May to 6 get your shit together motherfuckers get out of your comfort zone today and go rock your own motherfucking world oh look at these fucking bazooka joints I got to you're

like eight of them here Lee you don't smoke them you don't smoke no weed and iron man no I don't smoke your weed that's your weed that's our we I don't want to fucking there's a hundred and one thousand hits on this you twenty-bennie video 50,000 of them have to be us listen to this somebody listen to that are you fucking kidding you're gonna come in on Wednesday and say what the fuck we all the weeds gone check the fuck let me put this how to be on your ass hall cut it

speak we were talking about the party and uh we got drunk so we were talking about that and people were like oh I never like I don't like when people like my ass and then you're never there when people are on my side of the looking the ass thing so I gotta start recording it because more people are on my side than I know what time you went to party with a bunch of fucking fruitcakes anyway who was at the party

Ashley and a brother and all those people yeah yeah okay some fucking guy that goes to red lobster waits 45 minutes for his gay friend to fucking show up that's the people you ask if they want that tongue eating. Please, I know the source. Are the women hot in Austin? Bro, Texas is what pussy was invented. Really? I've never been.

That's why. You were an Iron Man, jumping up and down with two girls. Did you invite me to Austin? No, you could have said, Joey, I'm coming to Austin with you. Yeah, right. You know. That's all you had to say. Your family. You're fine. I'm coming to Phoenix or whatever. You ain't coming to Phoenix. You're going to say.

That's what I'm saying. Stay home. Mind your business. 624, your mother's a whore. Get up. wash your pussy something good might happen today ladies something good wash that fucking good they're tough out there now not that you're gonna give it up or something but you never know

you might bump into a fucking nice cock and he's ready for you guys it's fucking Monday things happen on Monday they do it's nice Texas is very nice I like Colorado I like Boulder

but I really there's something about you know why I really like Texas why? Because they they understand me I never really bombed in Texas, even in El Paso.

I've never really bummed. They've taken the ride with me. And I can't, I love that. Because nobody would fucking believe when you see these, when you see these fucking people that come to these shows, you won't believe they laugh at me. That's why. That's why I love it so much. The only other, I think it was Amarillo. What's at the very top?

It only takes like a couple hours to get through at the very top. I think it's Amarillo when I drove through. And I love, I like, I didn't know it because I haven't really been in, but I love the South. Everyone was just kind of cool. And it seems like they're kind of like you like they're just like crazy that they're fucking crazy i don't go like what anybody says i don't let me tell you what happened all right i told i told you guys in the show that i like duck dynasty that's my shit and then i went home my cousin my niece turned

me on to it i love my little niece so whatever she tells me i fucking do you and my wife goes that girl has you in the palm of your head she fucking kills me so she about i don't know a year ago she's like you watch duck dynasty uncle joey so she's watching and i told her she goes who's your favorite country and i go sigh you know she goes that's my My favorite guy, too, because he reminds me of you. He's fucking crazy. I've never seen the show. Oh, he's fucking crazy.

You give me shit about Iron Man and watching reality TV. Doug Dynasty is real. Iron Man, some fucking guy that was doing Coke 10 years ago in a room in Palm Springs with a chick dressed like Captain America. Give me a fucking break. All right. So, I guess one of the associate producers listens to the show. Oh, cool.

And he heard it, and he fucking sent us an email saying he likes the show. And thank you for the mention. No, I've always lied. Bro, I'm a closet. You know how there's closet fags. I'm a closet redneck. I would love to be a redneck because I would talk some big ass shit.

And it would just seem... That's it. I'm a redneck. If you really think about it, they have no filter. They don't give a fuck what you think. They really don't. And that's me. I'm country.

Yeah. That's what my niece always says. You're country, uncle, Joe. You're country. Get a little bit of an accent there at the end. Oh, fuck you. I'm country, dog. I love it.

That's my... I'm telling you, I got to get out of you. I got to get to the south eventually and go down there and just end it down there. That's where I need to be. That's where you want to be? Yeah, yeah, that was my... That's the end.

You're going to do Texas? Are you going to go back to Tennessee? Everything. I think I'm going to build a tunnel like Mexicans. Go from Tennessee to Texas up through Mississippi. I just like it. I just like it. I had a great time in New Orleans.

I just like it, man. I understand that I understand. And if we got a gun... You know, I feel... When I'm with somebody and they have a gun, like, in the East Coast, I get nervous. When I'm in a redneck and they got a gun, I don't get nervous because I know he knows what he's doing with it.

You know what I'm saying? He's going to shoot a fucking deer. Something's getting shot. Somebody. That makes me nervous. Let me do some shoutouts real quick before we get this party starts. I got some good Scottish Paul.

He got an office in fucking Orange County. You know, I love you. Who's this? Oh, Andy fucking G. San Antonio, that squad. What the fuck you're laughing? My crazy man, James Malia. Gee, you know who I is G.

Joe. Justin fucking Drum. Dirty Sanchez, I love you. Charles Garland and Kate. Oh, Kristen, my fucking girl from Maine. I met this cute girl from Maine. Her sister, she's a fucking massage therapist, Caitlin. I want to give you a shout out.

She fucking hit me up this morning. I said I would talk about it. She's a massage fucking therapist. Calabrese or some shit. I like her. She had a cute sister, and they had a nice cute other massage therapist where she was six foot two. I thought of you she would fucking break you back.

I'm sure. I don't know if you were high when you wrote that or if you're high now, but you get surprised by what you're reading. That's what I was laughing. You're like, oh, shit. Wait, I'm about a fucking shoot shit. I tell you what else I did when I was in Austin. I went to honor, the new studios.

Oh, yeah. You know, I met Aubrey years ago, and I always thought he was a fucking party guy and whatever, but he was a type of guy that he confused me because he was a party guy, but he had his shit together. You know, he's talking about chemicals and vitamins. And, you know, him and Joe put together fucking, you know, Alpha brain and all this stuff and I took the alpha brain now the shroom tech and blah blah

And you know listen to people I know one thing when I used to smoke cigarettes and I used to smoke pot full time I get a cold 12 times a year especially when you travel your resistance is low when you fly you know you get sick you know I'm getting sick now I'm getting sick twice a year no fever maybe get a little sniffle for a couple of days and this because I'm taking care of myself you know I'm drinking a lot a lot more water A lot more water. Like I've cut, even my wife said, she goes, I haven't been buying that much so. You're not drinking that much time. You don't have it anymore when I go over.

No, that's it. I've been drinking a lot of water because do you, when I wake up in the morning, first thing I do is drink water, even if I hurts my stomach to clean out my track and put the bad breath fucking powder in my stomach so I could shit it out. My shit smells like shit and bad breath now,

so it's fucked up. But what are they talking about? But on it. About on it. And, you know, so I'm taking the shroom tech, and I'm getting better at a acupuncture. it all helps out. But the fucking on it has really helped me,

especially the strong bone, the hemp protein. How I have the protein in the morning and it rides with me the rest. You know, it rides me for a few fucking hours. Yeah, didn't they even like bars or something? Yeah, so I'm going to show him now. It's so funny how I, when I went to college,

I took a nutrition in health class. And I used to pick his brain all the time. I had Michael Pritchin, and they had a bunch of football players in that class. And I would pick the guy's brain, and he would talk to me about oatmeal, how important oatmeal is in the morning because it goes a long way.

Oatmeal, I've abused it. It's like eating melatonin, Melatonin's good to help you fall. Sleep after two weeks, you're back to square one. Because your body builds a resistance to it, and then you've got to take a month off and go back to it. That's why I say, just take two hits off the fucking joint. That shit don't wear off.

So we went down on it, and we spoke it. And you know what? Like I said, today I live by the strong bone. I live by the head protein. Yeah, and I went on the website to see what new stuff they had, and they got fucking chocolate bars, right? I ate these yesterday before I flew. usually I need a breakfast

These are hemp force Hemp protein bars Fucking 7 grams of fiber 10 grams of protein Vanella Chai Amazing Fucking amazing Oh shit

So yesterday I ate one before the plane Because my plane was at 620 Yeah You just have to eat at the airport Fuck no Like all these These held me in I ate on the plane

I had like Grinol and yogurt on the fucking plane So it was good I saved myself some fucking time And you know what You go around And you buy these Protein bars

I don't know what you're spending for these. At least you know these got the good stuff in them. They don't have, like, fucking sugar and all this. I know that Arby put love into these fucking things. Go on the Onet website. Go to the hemp protein. Either get the hemp protein, the chocolate, or go to the bars. I'll leave you a couple of them.

Yeah, I want you. You can put them in the fucking juicer. And I'll tell you what else they got. I'll try them. I tell you what else I really like. I like the alpha brain. Sometimes it gets intense with the fucking alpha brain, and you got to do what you got to do.

So they made alpha brain now. And these little things that you put in my mind. water. Really? Yeah, and I'll tell you what it helped me with yesterday. They called the turnaround. This is for like, let's say you got a cold that's coming on, because not only doesn't have the alpha brain in it, but it's got all the other shit that's like some of the shroom tech, some of the good things of strong bones. Let's say you're flying and you want to take it a jet lag. Boom, jet lag. Let's say you got one out and got fucked up last night and you needed for a hangover. Boom, this is, or do it. And let's say you're just having a

fucked up day because it's got the best components of new mood in here too. Give this a fucking shot. Alpha brain little packages you put them in with fucking the amount of water you want, you shake it up. Doesn't have the amount of alpha brain as a tablet, but it'll get your fucking party started. How do I know? Because I did one fucking yesterday before I got on the fucking plane. I'm telling you, I try this

shit. I don't give a fuck. Plus, oh, I ate that edible. That edible, fuck. Yeah, you look fucked up. Bro, I'm telling you, they gave me some, but somebody gave me a cookie in fucking Austin. A homemade cookie. He said he put hash in there, a little valium, some fucking THC, some gorilla biscuits, his girlfriend's

Puber cares. This thing set me off and fucking, I was high for 18 goddamn hours. No, you were. Yes, I was. And then I got home last night. I ate a bang bar. Why? Because I wanted to see the devil last night.

I had to write some jokes. I had to keep up. I wrote some shit on stage, and I had to... Matt Bow, I don't need no fucking bulletproof best, bitch. Not when I got fucking Lisa. I had. I just make him walk in front of me. Good thing I'm short.

I just... Shit. I got to go to a chiropractor. Something in my back. My back is fucked up up in the top. I've always had like a problem with shoulders. When I fell when I was a kid, I crunched up my shoulders, so I have like a ball under here at times.

So I got to get like a fat little Chinese woman to walk on my back. You know what I'm saying? That's short because I can't have a fall up. And he'd be fucking close. I need to be, you know, whatever. The gravitation pulls it down. Will your acupuncture help with that tomorrow? I don't know.

I might not have to go to acupuncture tomorrow. I may take the day off and take a private lesson. fucking do some jih Tzu Oh shit Fly through the EA You know, I'm trying to put it together though I gotta lose this gut

Before the baby starts fucking She's already half crawling Is she really? You're always gone on the weekend So I haven't seen her for a few months Oh she's big She's big bro They fucking grow fast

And every time you come back They got a new trick to him Oh really? She gets big Every time I leave And I come back three days later It's really something to see But you know

This is gonna be for years So why fuck Every time you do this, every time you fucking do this. So what else? You good, Lee. We're going to have, you want to see Iron Man. What did you think? Everyone hated on it.

I thought it was a good action movie. Here's what's going on. Here's what's going on, Lisa, you know. When we started the podcast, I would put up a movie or two and we'd talk about it. Yeah. And I do a good job with it. But here's the problem. I'm an old fuck, Lee.

So all I got to all for these kids are old fucking movies, and I'm embarrassed. I get embarrassed in times because they say, Joey, what the fuck? You're my uncle. And you're not giving me something new. I don't have time to go see new shit But it's very weird that Now I have access to computer and shit like that Sometimes the movie's coming out and I just read the review

Yeah I go to a good reviewer I'm not going to mention his name Then I go to Rotten Tomatoes because they shit on everybody Yeah So if they like something It's got to be something There's something to the film

I have some friends that work at Rotten Tomatoes now Okay So I understand them a little more So like this week The Ice Man movie came out I read the book Listen I was back there when he was doing his shit. I've seen the interviews. Then I read

the book by Richard Carlo. I think that's his name Rob Carlo, Richard Carlo. Something Carlo. Philip Carlo. He's a pretty good offer. He also wrote... It's about, like, killers. Okay, we got a call coming in. All right. There's my little brother.

That's my big papa right there. How you do, bro? You know, me? It's fucking Rick Ramon on the far. I was just telling these guys, Rick, that I'm very good with movies, but the problem is I don't go to see a lot of new movies. And since I'm fucking 50, I don't want these new guys to look at me and say, Joey, what the fuck?

You sound like my father. You said there's no new movies. I'm sure that they're making good new movies. They're just not making them and the strength that they made them when I was fucking 10 or 11 with, you know, the longest yards and the tommies and the shit like that.

No, the stuff that when we were younger, when we were kids, it comes back to us. It sticks with us. There are films from that. Todd Pierce, they mean a lot to us because those were, you know, those were the formative years. That's when we learned how to be men.

We were watching shit that was just unbelievable. That's, you know, Charles Bronson, Lee Marvin, stuff like that. I was catching up on this stuff because I was lucky enough to have an old man that would show me movies. My old man didn't do a whole hell of a lot for me as far as, like, interaction, but he told me good movies to watch. And I think, you know, you pick up on that kind of stuff. the ones that we

that we grew up on, man. They formed us. They told us who we were going to eventually be. That's what I love about movies. The fucking enforcer was on last week. I was digging life. The enforcer was on. Klinis who was great that fucking movie.

He abuses the girl from Kagni and Lacey. I remember. I remember. Remember they're in the meeting. That's one of the funniest lines he ever said in his life. They're interviewing candidates, him, the one guy and the other guy,

and she comes in. And they're like, so Callahan, you have any questions for the Canada? He goes, how fast can you run the 40? Fucking Callahan was a bad motherfucker. You know what was great about those movies? Go back if you watch those old Eastwoods, Eastwood had no problem with getting anybody. Man, woman, he didn't give a...

He didn't care. He even punched the ape. He even beat the fucking ape up. Oh, yeah. It was the bad. He was on to the Flying Jew. Is he sitting right there right now? Yeah, he's right here.

Hey, Rick, how you doing? I've heard a lot about, yeah. And speaking about old movies, well, I saw a new one, but just by an old guy. Robert Redford came out with a movie this year, the company you keep. Yeah, the company you keep. It was fucking good, yeah.

I went out of the arc, that it's fucking good. I'll tell you what I did see on fucking Saturday. What you see? Dustin Hoffman and Robert Redford were sitting on some channel, CNN, one of those, talking about all the president's men. Oh, okay. And how it went down.

Fucking amazing. And Robert Redford's still a gorgeous motherfucker. You know, that's one of the dudes that got me into acting. When I saw this thing, I'm like, God, damn! God damn! The fucking sting is good. You know, that's the craziest thing is that when movies are what put us on this path. You know, you talk about Robert Redford.

I had the same thing when I was young and I saw certain actors. I remember, I was telling you. telling my buddy Mike Black about this. I'll tell him black. You remember that scene in The Untouchable where Sean Connery gets shot up and then he's crawling through the house? Yes. I used to do that as a kid. I would pretend I was Sean Conner.

I would get shot at my front door and then I would crawl through the living room into the kitchen, gurgling up blood because I imagine that's how crazy I was as a kid. I wanted to be that guy, you know? I didn't want to be me. I wanted to be Sean Connery. I wanted to be, you know, I mean, John. My first idol was seven. Hey, listen, bro, your first idol should be

007. If not, you might be fucking gay. You might be taking out all fours if your first idol. First time you've seen Sean Connery, you were like, that's the motherfucker I want to say. I remember what, I still remember watching the saint when I was a kid thinking to myself, that guy would make a good James Bond. I swear to God, I got no reasonable idea.

When I was a kid, it used to come on Channel 5, Not W-P-R-X, not W-O-R, but the other one in Jersey or New York, it used to come on, I used to think to myself, that's the next fucking James Bond. He would make a good James Bond. You know what I saw last night, Rick, for five fucking minutes. And I've got to tell you something, Rick, at this point in my life, I really like to see people doing the best thing that they could do.

If you're a plumber and you come to my house with, like, 2013 technology, I'll probably sit there and watch you do it, because you're an artist in your own sense. You know, I just was scrolling across Mystic River last night, the beginning. Which, listen, Sean Penn, there's many faces of Sean Penn. One thing about Sean Penn is that white boy could act. And when that white boy, and then that movie, Sean Penn, I mean, everybody. Lawrence Fishburn was brilliant.

The other guy was brilliant who I loved, the guy from, wasn't he in sleepers also? Kim Robert, no, Kevin. Kevin Bacon, no, he wasn't in. Kevin Bacon. Kevin Bacon was fucking awesome in that. The two guerrilla brothers that were coming out with Sean Penn, they were awesome. Everybody's

fucking a killer in that movie. The wife, the wife's friend, the milkman, the little kid. Everybody's a fucking actor killer. But Sean Penn, when they finally find their daughter and they're all at the park and he tells the guerrilla brothers to get the bulk cutters, and they go in and they're fighting the 20 fucking

Boston cops, and you see that they're holding the one gorilla brother down. He's like, get the fuck off me. I've been in those situations. We got 10 cops on you and they're holding you down and you're like, get the fuck up. But when Sean Penn is yelling for his daughter, is that my little girl? Listen, dog, I mean, even if you lost

a parakeet, if you don't feel his pain in that scene, then you've got to go to a psychiatrist and all shoot yourself either or because he's brilliant, Matt, whatever, Sean Penn. That's a great thing about movies is that when it touches you like that, when it grabs a hold of you, and it doesn't want to let you go, I mean,

that camera, the boom, it's right off. top of them, and then it just lifts up. It's like going into the heavens, and they're holding on the Champagne. The Champagne was like, you know what? Five cops ain't going to be enough. He told Clint Eastwood, you get 15 cops. They're going to hold me down because I'm going to lose my goddamn mind. That's a

great scene. I remember seeing that my goddamn mind. You know what killed me, though? It was like an audible guess. I freaked out when they go into the old gross, into the liquor store, and who's the old Jew behind the counter? Wallach.

Yeah. Yeah. Come on now. They're about you go back, baby. This is what I'm talking to you. Fucking young kids. You got to live.

Eli fucking Wallach. I can't even understand them. You know what he's really good in? You know what he's really good in, dog? What's up? One of the worst movies that ever came out is the last godfather. Oh, yeah.

But he was brilliant in it. He was. He's sitting there. like, he was in his, God, he must have been in his late 60s then, 70s, maybe. You got to watch. What is it? Godfather 3? Godfather 4.

What is it? Godfather 3. That was 89 or something like that? Christmas Day. Christmas Day, 89. Christmas Day came out. That's right. 98.

I'm smoking dope. Somebody like that who commands the screen and you're watching it. You're thinking, that's the greatest Jew to ever play a Mexican ever. Ever. Eli Wallach forever. He's still a lot. He's 97. God fucking bless.

God bless him. I hope it gets on going to be. God bless him. One thing about me and Rick were both fucking his fan and we're both fucking not Lee Marvin. Who played Ernie? Ernest Borgne.

Me and Rick understood the beauty and I loved him until this day I really don't watch Poseidon Adventure because I don't want to cry no more. I don't know where's more tears in the fucking tank with a six, with a boat sank. whenever I watch fucking him in that movie

there's a couple movies he's done and again the youth of America I don't know or in his Borg 9 you just... They don't know, they don't know they look at this fat, ugly guy and they say they ride him off because

why would he do a movie that I would be interested in and that's bullshit because there's a story there. I was watching the Wildbunch yesterday. Oh, that's a good movie. You're just sitting there like, please. You know what? I'm so screwed

I'm so messed up in my friendship, in my relationship, because I expect my friends to go into the fire with me, like William Holden and Ernest Borgne. You know what I mean? I expect a friend to be there like that guy. Like, Ernest Borgnight knows, we're going to get killed. Let's do it anyway. It doesn't mean shit to me. Let's go. And you want something like that. You watch Ernest Borgnight, and you're looking at a guy. It's almost like, what the hell else was he going to do, you know? He was either going to act or he was going to be on a line somewhere, you know, building cars or something. I mean, he was real, and Hollywood wasn't afraid of somebody that looked like your dad or your uncle or your grandfather on screen. They embraced it. They were like, this is a real guy. How many times have you been watching a movie? You watch one of those old movies and you're like, all right, this is going to be okay. And then you see one actor that you love and you're like, oh, shit, it's over at this part.

Now, I'm just waiting for this guy to come on screen. Struther Martin, Ernest Bork, 9, guys like that where you're just like, shit. Slim chickens where you're just like... No, no, how about the trainer that you love, and I love too. And we... Oh, my God, Rick. The guy in hard times, the cut man. Stutter Martin.

Sturther Martin. Oh, my God. He's fucking good. Oh, my God. He delivers that. He delivers that. That southern gentleman. These men ate refined.

street. It's just like, oh my God. You know, it's funny. Every line is a When I got here, I went to Ivana Chubbock's acting school. You know, Ivana Chubbock is like the high-end acting school. It had the black girl from Monster, was a ball that fucks the white dude. It had Charlize DeRan. She had three Oscar winners in a row.

She does really well with women because she breaks her down. But she had a coach there named Chris Holder, who was very good. And one of the first scenes he gave me was Ernie, the butcher. Right? Is that it? What's the name of the movie? Ernest Borgland?

Marty. Marty, I'm so sorry. Kept saying, Ernie. And he gave me the scenes from Marty. And it was funny because I had seen it again when I was a kid. After I saw Poseidon adventure, I tried to watch everything he was in, you know? Yeah. And I watched Marty, and I think he showed it to me, not for me to do the scene as much.

just to give me confidence because he was a fat ugly dude. You know, that's amazing. So I remember watching it going, if that motherfucker could do it, I could do it. It really doesn't matter what you look like. You can still go fucking after. And, you know, so in a lot of ways, I say, around his boynard, because he opened up doors from me in my mind.

He opened up doors for me in my mind that let me know I could do whatever the fuck I want to do because he ain't no fucking, you know, I'll tell you what, to be honest with you, Rick, I got to interrupt you here. I got to interrupt myself. I watch some good movies this weekend. You know what I watched in my hotel room the other day? No country for old men. That's a good movie.

And the other day, and then Friday, I watched a boxing movie with Clint Eastwood with the chick. You know, and he has to kill her at the end. Oh, he's all the babies? Yeah. I watch some great movies lately. Just, you know, off the cuff. What am I saying? I just, Rick, I'm upset with myself because I don't have a chance to go to new movies.

And now me and my wife were trying to catch a movie every other month. We'd force ourselves because they opened up a new lemley by my house. But the movies were so bad. Everything started off good, then it went somewhere else. I think the last good movie I saw was the playbook. The playbook, with De Niro, Silver, that's it. You know, I really, and I'm really interested in one thing. I knew Iron Man was out this weekend, but I also know that the fucking Ice Man was out this weekend.

And you and I have discussed the Ice Man for 10 years. We both read the book by Philip Carlo. were both fans, and I disagree with the casting. So I was pissed about the casting. What didn't you like? The lead? Maybe he delivers. I didn't like the lead.

But then I read the fucking reviews. And nobody really bashed it. Is there a review up real quick? Nobody really fucking shit on it. Like, they gave it a life. But no one I spoke to went to watch it either. Like, I talked to Felipe. He was in Utah.

I talked to a couple people over the weekend. I go, do you watch it? No, nobody watches. So, you know, again, when the fuck do I have time to go to a movie theater? I was going to ask Lee if you wanted to go last night, but I didn't know where it was playing. Rotten Tomatoes gave it 67, and that's pretty good for Ron Tomatoes. And that's really good for Rotten Tomatoes because Rotten Tomatoes hates everything. Let's see who's in it. I didn't know, I don't know who's in it. James Franco is playing my friend's father, the Prongays.

Okay. Yeah. Oh, Ray Leota is in it. The Unknowing Wife and Ray Leota as the crime boss. The new guy that's playing him, I can't. remember his name, but I haven't seen him in a lot of stuff. Michael Shannon. Yeah, he's in the fucking whatever, the movie, the thing on HBO.

Michael Shannon? He's on that show, Broadwalk Empire. Oh, you go boardwalk? Yeah. All right. But, you know, I just... This is the thing. It's like, it's...

You know, when you say that you don't get a chance to go see movies, it's because there are so many bad movies out there, and it's like, you've got to be kind of a glutton for punishment, because everything... I see. Maybe I'm a little bit interested here or a little bit interested there for the most part. At this point, all I can hope for, usually is a good couple of scenes or a good performance. I went and saw pain and gain a couple of weeks ago. Horrible movie, but the rock is good. The rock delivers in this fucking thing. I heard it's funny. I heard the movie is funny. the movie has moments, but it still feels like a Michael Bay.

He doesn't know how to pull back. Michael Bay doesn't know how to make a smaller film. It's all transformous for him, you know? But that movie was The Rock. For me, it was The Rock, you know? And that's the thing. I don't think you have the patience for that kind of thing because it's like, you know, there's two few hours in the day.

You've got your wife, you've got your kid, you've got shows to do, you got everything. And it's like, when you go to a movie, it's like you're investing two hours of your life that you're never going to get back. Two hours, 20 minutes of previews. You've got to drive there. You've got to drive back. That's a three and a half hour.

Yeah, but I got the Lemley. They got the popcorn with the powder on, the blue fucking cheese. You got the, it's nice. I tell you what my problem is, Rick, when I sit there in the daytime, 40 minutes in, I got a kick to the head going. You can be writing a joke right now.

Exactly. And then the phone lines that you're eight. You could have nothing going on in one matinee. I look at you and go, Rick, let's go fucking to see a matinee. And the minute I sit down, my agent calls me, goes, I just sent your sides for nine pages of fucking De Niro movie. So I'm trying to focus on this movie, knowing there's sides on my computer for a fucking dinner all movie, you know what I'm saying?

So it's always very hard to sit. I like to go on Sundays. Again, on Sundays, you gotta find the perfect time. I like to go to 11, 11.30 and get the fuck out of there. So I'm thinking of renting a movie that got bashed by the critics, bashed by the critics, But I ran into a couple fucking dudes of the solid, and they were like, dog. It wasn't a bad movie. Now, for me, for you to bash Brad Pitt, it kills me.

Because in my eyes, Brad Pitt don't do nothing wrong. From Snatch to fucking, the one with the fucking, with Hannibal Lecter, to one with the outside, with the brothers. Legends of the Fall. Legends of the Fall. I mean, Brad Pitt's a bad motherfucker. What I suck is dick with a couple cocktails in me at this point, who gives a fuck? I may lick his nuts or whatever.

That's a bad-ass dude. You might get to eat some good pussy. just from DNA with that motherfucker. But I heard killing me softly wasn't that good. You told me something different. Break it down. I like this. See, this is the thing.

People don't like it because they're used to a factor quicker. Let's get to the point kind of a movie. They want to see some shit going down and they want to see it now. This movie doesn't do that. This movie is slow and deliberate. And I was watching it. I was doing some reading on it. It's based on a book called Cogan's Bluff, which was written

by a guy, I can't remember the guy's name, but the guy also wrote a movie called The Friends of Eddie Coyle. Tremendous! I know this movie. Bam! He did it, man. And remember how slow and deliberate that is? Yes.

You're just sitting there, and you're like, sometimes you've got to be willing to just sit there an absorbable movie. Just let it become you. And killing them softly is that kind of movie. If you're going in thinking it's going to be a lot of shoot them up and killing and Tarantino bullshit,

it's not. It's nothing like that. It's a slow, it's the kind of movie that you sit back, you have a beer, you smoke a joint, you watch the sink, and you let it take over your life for that two hours. And it's got great performances by everybody. The two junkie idiots who robbed the card game, those guys are great. Gandalfini comes in for a couple of scenes, and he's just this degenerate, beat-up, broken-down, old, hired killer.

and you see what happens to you in that life. The speech that he gives, and it's not self-conscious. He's delivery like he is that guy, like he's at the end of his line, and like he's got nowhere else to go. Everything, I think this movie, last year I saw four movies that really knocked me on my ass. One was Flight with Denzel. The other one was, God damn it. Silver Linings Playbook I liked a lot.

Most of De Niro was actually... Justin is asking. It made me feel good. Liam Neeson and the Great and this movie. Four movies. I must have sold $150,200. Because, you know, I go to the movies. I go to at least a movie a week.

You're the real deal. I tell people all the time. Rick, I listen to other podcasts. I listen to those other people that they're hiring for CNN. They cannot touch you, Rick. I've been around for 50 years. I hope you people understand. I don't get nothing for promoting Rick.

I'm just telling you that through experience. When you sit down with Rick and he breaks a movie down for you, You have to, right from there, you run right to the blockbuster if there's still one open, or you go to Netflix, and you better have some cheese and crackers, because you're sitting there thinking about what Rick told you. It's amazing. Rick, you're really fucking dynamite.

And I can't wait until you get a podcast going or you get your fucking webpage because I'm going to be your number one supporter. I'm amazing. I'm starting up my own thing in about two or three weeks. I'm putting it together right now. It's just going to be me talking about movies. I just want to talk about something. You know what? It's not even, like I was telling somebody this.

It's not even how, it's not the Jews, it's not what the movie actually is about. It's what the movie means to you. And that's why you talk about it with such passion, you know. That's why, you know, when everything clicks and you're watching at something, and it takes you to another world, another place, people's lives and you're absorbed in it,

that's a beautiful thing. Hold on one second. What an Iron Man do for you? you, you fuck. Did you feel like Iron Man? Did you feel like flying around? Cocksucker? Jesus.

I wanted to ask, I never saw a flight, but I wanted to. Yeah, break it down, Rick, flight. Because I love Denzel, but yeah. From you go into this movie and you expect it's going to be one thing, this hero's story

about landing a plane, and maybe he's got some problems, and then it becomes something completely different. He's not a likable guy. It's a testament to how good Denzel Washington is. Because he's charismatic. He's this guy that you want to root for,

even though he's a scumbag. He's a scumbag. He's a scumbach through an film movie. He's a drunk. He's a Coke kid. He's using all the time. He doesn't give a shit about his wife and his kid. And it's all about taking responsibility for what he has done

about getting a Coke three-day bender and flying these planes. And granted, what he does in the movie, he lands this plane. And 97 lives. six people die, but now he's accountable for that. And it's just the ego that this guy is running from who you are. If you've ever had something in your life that you're like an addiction without control, you can identify with a line after being drunk for a weekend, and it doesn't shy away from it.

He doesn't try to make this guy likable. He didn't try to make him a nice guy. The guy has charisma, but the guy used to be great. I watched yesterday when I got home and lit the TV. after walking on the baby. Guess what it was on, Rick? The last 40 minutes of man. Did you happen to watch on AMC?

It's been on the last three Saturdays or Sundays in a row. AMC finally said, you know what? Joe Dears is a fucking idiot, but he's got us on this one. They play it every... I caught the last 40 minutes when he makes Hector fucking shoot himself. Yeah.

From there on end, that movie does not play. When he goes to that Mexican house, and he starts to... Who's Rosas Sanchez? Yeah. And he shoots the little brother. Remember the brother gets hit by a truck,

and he goes out in the fucking car. He goes out there with a fucking shotgun. Yeah. And he pulls the brother. You know, I've been in those situations, Doug, where you're just running on fear. You're on fear now. You're just on fear, and that's it.

I'm going to go out there with this fucking thing, and I'm going to take my chances. And also, the crowd turns on the little Mexican dude. And he brings him upstairs, and he calls the guy, and before he puts him on the phone with his brother, he shoots his fucking hand off. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah.

The scene that got me was a scene with the guy in the bomb, and he sticks the bomb up his ass. And then the other thing where I can't believe I'm forgetting his name, but where he goes, every person has his masterpiece, and Chris he's about to paint his master's like that whole... Christopher Walker. It's one of the greatest, man.

I'm telling you, listen, I... What's the movie that was supposed to win the Oscar last year, that Barber Streisand, my favorite Jew of all time, walked out, and sank his ship? I'm a day ass. What was that fucking movie last year?

That came out of it was supposed to win, They spent $800 million on this movie The guys are genius The cartoon with the chick The purple fucking chick Oh are you talking about Yeah Like a couple years ago

What the fuck is the name of that movie Avatar? Avatar you know it's like all that shit is great Yeah But you know what man as far as the movie's concerned And I tell you I like it's like you say Rick It's not even about the movie no more

As long as the movie fucking moves you When you watch Goodwill Hunting If you don't feel like getting off the couch when Ben Affleck makes that speech, then I don't know what the fuck's wrong. Ben Affling is becoming a fucking savage. He's a kid that we got to talk about. This kid's becoming, that Argo was great,

but I'm still fucking stuck on that movie when he robs banks in Boston. Oh, yeah. I'm still stuck on that. Yeah, I'm still stuck on that movie. Him and that chick, I would eat that big chick's pussy. Everybody wrote him off. Everybody thought he was a pretty boy, and he made shit movies.

God. He made some movies. But, bam, when you come back and you, hold on to something that you care about, and you put it on that screen. You know what? There's a reason all those actors wanted to work with him, because the kid delivers, man. He's, and I saw him at the Egyptian theater when he was promoting the town. I saw the town and Gone Baby Gone.

The nicest guy you could imagine, answered the questions, talk to people. You know what? He's real. He's an honest guy. He's not some Hollywood bullshit asshole. He wants people to really understand. see his movies because he cares. You can see that. You could see that

compared to someone who was just there, collecting a paycheck, and just do it because he asked him, because the studio says he has to. This guy cares, and it comes out in the film, man. Comes out. Talking about comedies, I watched Office Space also last week. One of my fucking...

You look Office Space? Oh, that's my shit, Doug. That's my shit. I never see you watching... Oh, that little Hindu and the fucking Redneck Neighbor and that's my world. The little kid that works as the waiter at the restaurant I like, listen, I want to be entertained.

You know, I watch Porkies and I get entertained. Porkies was on, I got to watch the part when, you know, the dick in the shower. That's brilliant as far as I'm concerned because it's so stupid that it makes you go back and back. You know, I want... That's the thing. It doesn't have to be intelligent. It doesn't have to be high-brow.

It just has to be good. Does it make you laugh? If it makes you left, it shuts your goddamn mouth and start laughing. That's it. but talk to me about high-end comedy or you don't like fart jokes or any of it or they're skimming the bottom. Funny is funny.

Well, I have a question for you, Rick. I'm looking at Denzel's IMDB because I, like, A Man on Fire was my best friend and his favorite movie for a few years. And then, uh, fucking, uh, what's, the training day was, um, it was, I even know almost like that better than Man on Fire. It's close to it.

But, uh, then he did like American Gangston. I was so excited for it. it kind of fell flat. And then he did, like, taking a Pelham, one, two, three. And it's like him, actors kind of fall into roles. And, like, he falls into, like, the older black man teaching some guy in, like, the twist. And even with bad comedies, I loved Anchorman. But ever since Anchorman, every movie Well Farrell does is that movie, and you get sick of it.

Why do actors do that? Like, they find one role that works, and they beat it to death until no one wants to see the movie. It's not the actor. It's the studio. It's the studio. It's the studio. I come here with 20 million. Listen, if it was up to Paramount, De Niro would have done a thousand gangster movies.

They don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck. You know, with Will Farrot, it's the same character. Every fucking movie, you know, after like, Anchorman, which I was, I was Anchorman, too. Has it come out yet, but it's going to be awful. How do you know? Because it's going to, it's his last try, but it's going to be awful. You know, I got to tell you something, American Gangster was a movie that I tried to get in.

I got hired in the movie. Then they recasted the movie. and I watched that movie and I have it on my DVR. I don't think it's a fucking great movie. It's in my DVR and I have it in a box and I'll tell you why because of what Rick says. In every movie he shines somewhere. He's so good.

He really is really fucking good. I know he's great in it but in that movie when his mother when he's going to shoot the cop and his mother stops him in the hallway and she tells him, can I talk to him? He's chewing that gum and he's not listening. You know what that reminded me of my mother. When she would chew that gum like that, that gum that meant something was going to go down. She was making a phone call.

She was about to do something. And that scene always destroys me. She sits them down. They said, let me talk to you. Let me talk to you. But even me, a beat-up old woman knows there's no business. She tells them about the brothers coming up here. If you would have been a baseball player, they would have been baseball.

Remember? And then she goes, one thing is bad business for cops. and he goes to walk away, she fucking smacks him. Watch that scene again. Denzel shines in every movie. He does something that's worth $20 million because he does the work, guys. Every day he goes through every emotion you could go through.

He cries, he laughs. He's a brilliant fucking actor. Yeah. He is. He really is. And nobody gives him shit. And it was weird when I seen him nominated for that movie. He got nominated this year for an Oscar for that, did he not?

Yeah. For best money. Yeah. So I got a, and I'm thinking to myself, why didn't I see that? I just thought it was the Scully story. So I didn't really want to watch it. I thought it was a story about the white guy that put the plane down at the Hudson, because I heard he was fucked up.

Okay, yeah, no, I was excited. I'm glad he liked it. And you liked the gray? I would never have guessed you liked the gray. It just seemed like it. Like, I didn't see it, but it just seemed. I'll tell you, when I walked out of it, did you see the gray? No.

What was in the back? The gray is about. Liam Neeson is a guy who's lost his wife recently. and he works for the oil companies up in Alaska shooting wolves. He shoots timber wolves to keep them from attacking the workers out in the, that are working on the pipeline. They get on a plane to fly home, the plane crashes. So now they have to survive the elements and these wolves that are attacking them.

And it's primal. It's very basic. There's not a lot going on this movie, but it's an all-male cast, and it's how they're getting on each other's nerves and killing each other and the machismo. And there's a guy named Frank Grillo in this thing who does an amazing job. And the fact that they didn't nominate him for a best supporting actor is a crime. It was criminal because that guy was unbelievable. He played this badass, hardcore Mexican that thinks he's tougher than he is.

Liam Neeson puts him in his place and they have to survive this world. And there's a scene near the end where the wolf their chase to come and they're beating up and broken down where Grilloops and sits down and looks off into into the forest, into this river. And the speech, damn, it touches you. It makes you, it gives you, I had chills. I was just sitting there like, this movie, when I got out of this movie, I called my old man, and I said,

Dad, have you seen the Great? He said, no. I said, go see it tomorrow. Whatever you're doing, go see it. tomorrow and then call me. And we talked, he called me afterwards, and we talked for like two hours, because this is a man's movie. You don't get

that too often anymore. You don't get men being men anymore. That everything is this shit where it's a bromance or guys are, they're trying to gay men up. So, these are men. If they had made this movie 25

years ago, it would have been Charles Bronson in the wilderness. It would have been Lee Marvin. You know, it was It's like Death Watch in a weird way, because it's like, I'm not giving up, and it was... And one other thing about Rick, one other thing about you, Rick, that you know, like, Rick even knows what movies are coming out. Like, Rick will say dog in November, I'm taking out the lunch into a movie. You're like, Rick, it's fucking May. Oh, yeah.

Rick knows, like, Rick turned me on to the wrestler. Me and Rick went to see the wrestler. What else did we go watch? You turned me on to, like, we went to see the wrestler, the Clint Eastwood movie. Like, we went to, like, three movies and three days or something. We saw a lot of stuff. We took Edwin-Sand-Won to that. movie with Cliniques where they were insulting Asians

were sitting there throughout the whole fucking movie with Edwin and they're calling chink and fucking gook and fucking and he's living and he's howling he's fucking howling and I'm so embarrassed and I love that when San Juan you know

any movies that you're looking forward to the coming up oh God there's nothing right now until God what is coming up and I'm thinking I like that you know what? It's just been like I don't like to get my hoops up too much because things are usually so bad.

But goddamn, what the hell is being made right now? Scorsese is going back. You know what? The one thing that I'm looking forward to, that it's going to sound weird, but I really am. That HBO movie about Liberacee. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, Michael. If anybody can do that, it's Michael Douglas. Yeah. You're right. I saw the commercials for me. Yeah, me too, me too. It's going to be very fucking interesting. Very interesting. You're right. I forgot. You know what else in the movie I'm looking for? I thought you'd be looking forward to Grudge match with your boy De Niro in it. You know, what I heard about this, I wasn't sure what to think. I was like, you know what? If they do it right and they do it with heart, it's going to be great.

because I think De Niro's got great films left in him. And the last Rocky, Rocky Balboa really, it touched me. It was good. It came back after that shit that was Rocky Five. Balboa, Boboa made me cry a couple of times. It was like, you know, he lost his wife. He's got nothing else. Boom.

And just the idea of De Niro back in the ring fighting Stallone, and I've got to admit, you know, when you were calling me about it. I was just like, you sounded like a little kid talking about working on that movie. I was like a kid listening to you. I was like your little brother. Oh, we were. We were.

Tell me about how... Because you're the only person who understands. You're the only person. We had late night talks at the fucking comedy store and we took acting classes together and we talked and you know, it's not even about the movie. It's not. I don't think it's going to

be an Academy Award winner. in movies, Stallone's going to be great, and Kevin Hart, I'm looking forward to seeing him. And, you know, I'm always looking forward to seeing these movies. You're always, for me, it meant something else. You know what I'm saying? For me, being on that movie, I'm not even excited about the movie coming out because I already did my job. I stood there toe to toe with a guy that I never thought I'd even get to meet.

I saw him and analyzed too, but I wouldn't even breathe his fucking air, bro. Yeah. And now I was forced to breathe his air. You know, right after you talked to me, I called my mom. Right after you talked about, I was like, Ma, Joey's working with De Niro. And she was like, really? And I was like, Ma, you don't even know how, it was like, I was so thrilled. I was like, I was like a kid.

I was kidding. I was so excited. I was like, I can't wait to see this because it's like it's somebody that I know sharing the same. You're not. You're not. You're not like in one room and he's in another room. You're sharing a scene. You're sharing a few scenes with one of the great.

Rick, and I've got to be honest with you, Rick. I'm going to tell you a confession that I never told nobody. I'm saying on the podcast. What's the movie? I did a movie called Boilermaker. What's the guy in that movie? Press up Boilermaker. He was the guy that was in Deer Hunter.

George Dezanza? No. No. Oh, John Savage. John Savage. When I did Boilermaker, and I did the scene with Savage, I always knew.

Right there is when I knew in my heart that I had gotten somewhere in my acting. I cannot lie to you. As Uba says, John Savage, by the way, people, is a fucking sweetheart. And just a, I mean, this guy works constantly, guys. Constantly, bad movies, big movies. And when you work aside him,

you learn so much because he gives every movie 100%. But just to be standing next to this guy that did Deer Hunter, right there at that coffee table when they called cut i knew that if i got i was good enough to work with savage eventually i'm going to bump into dena i never told nobody that and you know what else happened during boiling maker that's when maryland died that's what that movie changed my life that was uh that was when maryland told me to quit doing coke i got that movie with the aa guys montoya got me that movie because he knew the writer it was such a weird movie but me meeting john savage

in that movie at that coffee table and doing the scene with him i mean i worked on for 18th fucking days. I knew right there that I was in a cross path with fucking De Niro. Right there. I never repeated it to nobody. I never told my wife. I just knew it. If I was good enough to be in the room with Savage, De Niro was fucking next. And it took you know

eight years but I finally fucking worked with the man and now, you know, you can't put that on your resume. That's not for your resume. That's for nothing. That's just for you knowing. You know what I'm saying? And you know what, Rick? If I did it, you're going to do it next. And we're both going to fucking laugh about this.

that's the dream you know that's the and you gotta make you you gotta have something that you're holding on to and making it worthwhile and you know what you there are very few people that i can actually say inspire me i've listened to the podcast i have listened to i listen to i was listening to religiously now i had some things that came into my life that i got that i got derailed now i'm listening to it again you are doing you the two of you were doing a hell of a good thing for a lot of people. You're showing them the world. You're showing them how to deal. It's like, it's like, don't make the mistakes

that I've made, understand what the options are. And you know what? It's a beautiful thing. It really is. What you do for an hour, hour, 15, hour, 20 minutes every, every Monday, or it's amazing. And Rick, I got to tell you some, people,

the flying juice said to me, he would listen to a podcast I was on, and that they were saying, you know, they're blowing smoke up my ass about the, you inspire and I felt like shit. He knows I hate all that stuff. Because what these guys don't understand, Rick, is that we love them for giving us an hour for doing

this. You have no idea how happy I am that people actually listen to this shit that me and this fucking Jew across from me talk about which is stupid and disgust. But they get the main thing of what we're telling motherfuckers is that if we could do anything, you guys could do this.

You know what? I yell at this fucking guy. I told him to get in the pool, Rick. By the way, me and walked into the walls of weight watches together. Oh, okay. We lost all the way together. We went to the meetings, and we used to destroy those fucking meetings. We used to destroy those chicks.

We used to torture. They saw. They loved the 930 meeting was the hot meeting in that Jew neighborhood down there. And it's the toughest waitwatching, because right across the street there's the best bagel place in L.A. The best. They have the two different types of salmon

and all that shit. I mean, you see the dreds go in there? They go in there, rapid the Israeli flag. the real bagel place on Beverly. And my lion, Beverly off La Brea is it? Oh, you're telling the truth. That's Jewville, dog. We'd have to walk out of there and fucking put blinders on,

not to go in that bagel place. So I don't want to hear it when you're fucking juicing, my man. I ran with the real Jews down there. They'd stand by the door and watch it. Like, I bore you, weight watches. Are you serious? We fucking killed Jesus in Nazareth, and you're fucking worried about a few pounds,

you dumb fat fucks. Oh, we had some good times. Good fucking times. we're going to have you call in once every two weeks, even if it's in the late call, just to talk about what movie you've seen, what's your plans. I love you at all my heart. I'm happy you were able to do this today. I love you.

I really wanted to get you on this. I had a couple of shots, and I kept saying, how do we build this for Rick? I want to get this over. And like I said, the door is open. If you got a wild bug up your ass and you just want to get in the car Thursday morning and drive to Arizona and meet me and the other Jew at the Stand Up Live at Phoenix. We'd love to have you, brother. That sounds like a good time.

can make that happen. We'll see what we can do. I love you, buddy. Thank you, and thank you for your family and everything for being the fucking knowledge. Rick Ramos, where they follow you on Twitter? They call me Gondo Ramos. All right. Gondo, G-O-N-D-O-R-A-M-O-S. And do me a favor. Gondo Ramos, put your movie pick of the week on there.

Even if it's an old movie and I'll retweet it so these motherfuckers know so they get off my back. Movie pick of the week. But you got to do it every week. Start it tomorrow on Twitter. That's what I'm saying to you. All right, I love you, Cox. I'll put it out there, and I'll send people out to my blog, okay? All right, now we'll retweet you and retweet so the people see it.

I love you. Thank you. I love you. Thank you, guys, so much. We'll talk soon, all right? Stay black, cox suckers. Bye, Rick. That's knowledge for you, cocksuckers right there. Rick Ramon's a bad motherfucker.

All these guys are make-believe compared to this guy. I tell you sincerely. They make-believe we know about, they know nothing. This guy was walking into. fucking Omar Sharif last night. Went to see whatever that movie last night. That's what he was doing. And from there, he went to see those loboes

for Cinco de Mayo. Rick don't fuck around. Rick works hard so he could party hard. He went to see Lawrence Arabia at the fucking Egyptian theater or some shit. Oh shit. Yeah, this kid don't fuck around. We went to, we go to double features.

I mean, I just can't go to the amount of movies he goes to because my mind will sizzle. Good podcast today. Had a good time. He's knowledge more on the fucking Monday. We got the motherfucking party started and that's all you could want you know what you know what I'm saying

on a fucking Monday morning let me see three jumping jacks let's go you do fucking jumping yeah I'm doing bitch the fuck you think I'm scared of some jumping jacks yeah I do let's see there is just to watch the live for this people oh shit

oh shit it's like four five bitch you better do six and why you do them I got to throw the knife like shit I hurry up you fuck Look at you. One, two, three, four, five, six. There you go.

Seven, look at you. Eight, nine, ten. Look at them jumping up and down. Look at the flying Jew. Flying. Oh, shit. Ooh. It's a beautiful motherfucking Monday.

Two fat guys, winded. Winded. I love you all my heart. Like I told you earlier, Honet is doing some great things. And I can't tell you about them enough. Go to Onet.com. Take the package. Get the...

Alphabrain Faw's fucking protein bar Get the hemp force And remember the Hemp Force Bars are not chocolate They want to do a vanilla Chai which is fucking delicious

The chocolate is in the Powder for the milkshakes That's good And you mix it with some almond Fucking milk And you put a little Coconut oil on that motherfucker

Stop it With a banana A la Einstein And so go to On it Put it on the fucking box Church C-H-U-R-C-H And get you a little discount

To put you on a mailing list They got T-shirts What are you doing over there with your hands Sign language? What are you fucking? What are you fucking? You know somebody who's deaf? No, I took in college.

Did you really? Yeah, for it. That's what you write fucking checks. You took a loan out to learn fucking sign language? I had to take a language. This is what I'm dealing with people. So you learn sign language?

I'm awful in Spanish. I'm like Israeli or Spanish and Chinese. I took Hebrew, but I'm bad at it. What did you get in Hebrew? Fucking like a B. I took up in when I was in Israel but I'm awful at it. And I like sign language.

You better go back on Alphabre brain. You're acting a little fucking new box. You better put in your little milkshake. I took two semesters of sign language three years ago. Two semesters of sign language three years ago. You're fucking. I'm going to stab you before the week's over. I feel.

I feel a felony. What? You have eggs? What the fuck you have an eggs for? If you're not at this deli in New Jersey. Everything anyone does. What's deli in New Jersey? Nothing.

But anything I do. I got to do. I got to get it together. And you better swim today, too. I don't give a fuck about clouds and thunder. You don't even eat this cream cheese unless you know the cow. What the fuck? I'm going to pick you up at 2 o'clock to go swimming in the fucking pool.

You're not going to do nothing. You're going to have a fucking other edible when you get home. You need to call me. I feel like, dude, I passed out. I got shit to do today. Oh, you're doing shit tonight? I got a shit to get to fucking nine. I got to make a move at 10.

I got shit cracking. I'm doing Greg Fitzsimmonson. Oh, cool. At 7 o'clock. I can't wait to do that. I got to go to dentist Wednesday. Tomorrow I got some. I got shit going on, cops out.

Oh, shit. I'm Thursday. I'm going to stand up live in Phoenix. So if you're down the Phoenix area. Scottsdale, Yuma, where the fuck you're at, we're rocking the house. Thursday night, 8 o'clock, stand-up live. Phoenix, come on down.

Jaguars, the strip club, they fucking come on down. Yolanda Cano, that sexy little Mexican. She's coming down with a bunch of freaks from Jaguar. Come on down. The following week, I'm at Governors in Long Island. I think I'm at governors one night and the other club the other night.

Get your tickets. Those are going to go fast. We'll have a good time. We've got some savages up there. They're showing up with a pound of fucking weed. They're rolling two joints a day until they get. You think I'm kidding you.

Every day on Twitter, they send me a fucking picture. They roll three fucking joints a day until they get to up to like 800 fucking joints for the weekend. They say they ain't fucking around. So I suggest you get your plane ticket now, Coxs like a flying Jew. Then you'll really be the flying Jew. We'll get you on Egyptian Airlines and shit. And then in June, Utah, I'm coming to Wise Guys.

I'm going to Lexington, Kentucky, and I'm coming back to San Jose with my main man, fucking Alcatraz, Lee Lee, Lee, Syatt. Oh, shit. What else you got going on? If you're going to juice this week. Yeah, we'll start doing the videos, yeah. So, yeah, and I want to, there's one guy who's doing it with me.

It's, I think, Albert, let me go, go to the Jack. Jackson, Roy Lewis, Jr. I don't know why I thought I was Albert. So, yeah, we're on day six today, so. And you feel good. How many pounds you lose so far? Like down, like 10 pounds. Let me see.

Let me see. Go, good crap. There you go. Yeah, and I think I might want to do more than 30. I want to get down because I lost 66 last time, and I gained about 10, 15 back. Mike Dolce. call next week. I can't wait to talk to them. Here's the deal. But you got to go over to that little gym because the more muscle you build it helps you burn fat and helps you burn more calories.

No, yeah. We're not teasing you. No, no. Listen to me, dog. I'm going to tell you this. When I was your age, people would tell me the same shit, I didn't listen. End up being a fat fucking now. I work hard every day. I try a little something every fucking day. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So, but you're in the right track and I'm proud of you. Try to swim. A couple days a week, you don't know, swim. I like that some son. Good for a fight. You know, like I said, I went for a blood test and the doctor laugh. He goes, you have the same problem everybody else has in L.A. A low fucking

D. How do we have a low D deficiency in the sunlight? Because we don't jump in the pool. We don't walk out there without a hat on. Walk. The sun's bad for you. If you fucking go out there all day and put that brown sauce on you and sit out there and bake like a fucking moot. But if you just go out there and get a taste of it

and appreciate it and give it love, it'll give you love back and I ain't going to give you no fucking cancer. That's it. As far as we're concerned today, this podcast is over. If you want to go get some T-shirts, you want to see my tour dates you want to see what's crack and lacking go to joey daz.net get your commemorative church

what's happening now long sleeve t-shirt or hoodie the hoodie ain't going to work for you because it's fucking summertime except in colorado the fucking the penguins are moving back up there so far it's still fucking snowing we got t-shirts we got tour dates we got everything yarmikas you slip them with the coffee cups and you didn't make the demo real that's where you fucked up

I wrote it down now when I get off the podcast we're going to see talk suck and there's no swimming today and testicle testaments is coming out soon Oh shit. Testicle Testament 5. This is a good one I heard. It's coming out May 28th.

I didn't do this one. Somebody lip synced it for me. Somebody lipstick this way. So it's going to be a good one. And we got a lot of shit going on. We got the live show on the 26th or something at the Ice House. Okay. And these tickets are going to go.

This is off the chain. I'm already got people saying, we got tickets already. So if they already got tickets and it's not even fucking May last week, it's going to go. So don't fuck around. We're going to get a good guest. And we're going to rock you live. I'm going to eat edibles and fucking get fucked up. So I can talk shit.

I'm David Spade and everybody else. I love you guys. Since we're talking about love, hit him with some real fucking love today and cut of that. This is as good as it gets. I love you, cock's suckers. Lee, give my kiss.

There you go.