The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #051 - BILL BURR - UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT

Episode Date: March 29, 2021

Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint..... Monday, March 29th..... Today, we talked to the Great BILL BURR..... This episode is brought to you by DraftKings & CBD Lion...... Go to https://www.DraftKings.com and enter Promo Code: JOEY Go to https://www.CBDLion.com and enter Promo Code: JOEY or CHURCH And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #BillBurr Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... You can find Ben here: Ben Telford Visuals Cinematography and Visual Promotion Agency, Ontario, Canada [e-mail] Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/b_telford or https://www.instagram.com/bentelfordvisuals  

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fucking my wife had to drive me to some place from my leg and I had to go down to DMV and see about my license and do a bunch of fucking things had a great weekend I got to see some family for dinner my my daughter ran around with the fucking dogs you know the usual shit jersey living but friday we got back i came downstairs i was doing some patreon stuff and whatnot and uh my wife came downstairs and she goes listen i got to go i got to pick up mercy the moms are getting together we're all going down to one of the beaches we're going to spend the afternoon you're on your fucking own for dinner blah blah blah blah i was like fine go have a good time knock it out you know

I went, I had some shit to do around the house. I still had some boxes to go into. I threw some more shit out. You know, it was nice to have a little breather from them. And at one point I went, and I got to, it was Friday, so I couldn't eat fucking meat. So I just went and got some Chinese food, a little shrimp and garlic sauce, some steam rice. And I dropped soup. No big fucking deal.

I came home and I said, you know what? Nobody's home. I'm going to go in the backyard. And I'm going to fucking smoke a bone back there. The sun was out. It was beautiful. There was a slight breeze. My wife got some backyard furniture finally.

We got some furniture. Now we got a contractor to build Mercy a fucking clubhouse. And she's getting the dirt brought in to do a little garden. So we're just getting our shit together. Like I said, this is why I haven't even gotten a P.O. box because I'm still opening up boxes and throwing shit out. But I was in the yard. It had to be about 7.30.

Just a beautiful fucking Jersey night. The sun was still out. And I was looking at my yard and I'm like, how the fuck did I end up back here? Like, it's been just a complete circle, you know. Life is a circle. But the funny thing was that I was like, I can't believe this is mine, that I saved up for 13 years for a down payment. I've been sober for 14 fucking years from that miserable fucking drug.

It's not their fault. I snorted. Nobody put a gun to my head. I've been saving money and finally we scrape together and get our own house you know we financed it

it's not like I showed up here like Baccaro Bonzai and just wrote a check we paid cash no we financed it like anybody else but the point of this whole story is that looks at what happens when you get involved

look at what happens when you get involved okay I got involved you know I got a lot of emails 20 to 30 two-year-olds, listen, man, as far as I'm concerned, you're fucked. Your life is fucked at that age. I know, I thought my life was fucked at that age. You keep trying stuff.

You move in with your family. You move back out. You got a shithead roommate. Life is a struggle. But the most important thing is that you keep fucking pushing every day, you know? And eventually you find something that's your passion and you fucking start from the bottom and you keep pushing and you get. the way you want to go eventually or you quit whatever the fuck your decision is but you tried that's

the most important thing you know my game me the guitar that i know i tried i'm still playing it am i looking to be in a band and start fucking motley crew too no i'm just looking to fucking play the guitar you know it that doesn't have to be a thing but i was just so happy that i got involved in something that i found something i love to bring me to the end of this fucking journey that i loved it i I was very fortunate. I fell in love with something, you know. When I listened, I retweeted that Joe Rogan thing a couple weeks ago. And I listened to it like four times before I retweeted it.

And that's exactly how I felt at 25. I felt that my guidance counselor had lied to me. I felt that I had been lied to it, you know, that I was not prepared to deal with the world, which I was not at 25. And most of you aren't. Some of yous are, I say 60% of years are. I wasn't.

40% aren't you? We just weren't prepared for the things that we're throwing at us. Whether it was mentally, because we were doing drugs or weaknesses, whatever, you know. But I'm very happy that I found a passion. Because if you get into something that you don't like and you're making money and you keep don't liking it, that's when you start getting fat, your wife starts spitting out kids. She's not the fucking model she was. She's 400 pounds.

Every time you go home, she's dipping fucking chips and onion dip. You know your life goes to shit you have no control over it and you fucking die. That's it. I was so Self-conscious of that when I was 25. I'm like man, I got to find something that I like That's the most important thing. It ain't prison. I went to prison at 25. I didn't like that motherfucker. I never went back that I know So what I'm trying to say to you is if you're in that age group you find something and you don't know where it's gonna lead you You might start as an announcer as a comic and end up as a fucking TV host you never know where this journey's gonna go but if you don't try you're never gonna get there that it's that simple this takes me to this story in 1997 I had done a spot at the store

I didn't have a fucking car I had to walk home I was probably staying at Stan hopes or Josh Wolves house or fucking whatever who knows where I was staying but the comedy store is down on the west side of sunset and you have to walk past like The Laugh Factory. So I said, let me stop. It was a Sunday night. I'll never forget this. I said, let me stop in there.

And see what the fuck is going on. So I stepped into the Laugh Factory. It wasn't my club. The owner didn't like me at the time. You know, I was new in town. He said I was more of a club back than I accepted it. I already was getting spot this to store. I just peeped my head in.

God knows why. Maybe I was there to see Ralphie. Who knows? When I walk out of that, I bumped into a kid. that I had known he was a funny fucking guy but he seemed a little down and I talked to him a little bit and I asked him what was the problem and he said that they had canceled the show he was on he was on a superb fucking show I forget the name of it doesn't really matter with a superb fucking cast it's one of those shows that should have made eight years like when you look at it in hindsight it should have been on for eight years but some of you some of you It just slipped through the cracks and this young man was a little, you know, like, you know, bewildered. He thought his career was over and I remember talking to him and going, you know, bro, you're just getting started. So what?

Your show went down. Look at all these people at their shows went down. Fucking, you know, Tom Rhodes and Margaret Cho and Greg Haraldo, they all kept pushing. It's just a bump in the road and you keep moving. He's like, fuck this. I'm moving back to New York and he moved back to New York. and I he moved back to New York and I kept a loose tab on him. I always knew he was fucking funny as fuck.

At the time that I think he was going to be a star where he had already been on TV so he was well on his way. He had a lot more shit going on than I did. And over the years, I didn't see him. You know, I was doing my thing. And then one time I bumped into him on a plane and we had a fucking interesting chat and he even got me a fucking agent right before the longest yard, which I fucked up.

and whatever but my point is he went back to new york he didn't cry he didn't whatever he just picked up the pieces and started all over again and then i started seeing them on the dave chapelle show and he was killing it on there and then you know i just fucking kept hearing his name and next thing you know i'm working with him different nights at the store and i'm watching this powerhouse that i had seen 15 years earlier on a bad night thinking that his career was over, and now he became one of the best fucking comics there is. In my world,

Doug Stanhope is the Letty Bruce of our comedy right now, this situation we're in. But to me, the best comedian working today, I love Joe Rogan, I love Dave Chappelle, I love John Malaney, I love a bunch of comics. But when I talk about pure comedy, I think the best comic working today is Bill Burr,

and I got him on the show today. I hope you enjoy this interview. Thank you for watching. Bill Burr. Hey, what's going on? How are you, my brother? I'm great. Thank you for taking the time.

It's great to see you. Yeah, dude, you look happy as hell, man. Jersey is treating you right. It was time, Bill. I'm an East Coast guy, 23 years. I miss my friends in Austin. You know, I miss Joe and stuff, but it was time to fucking bring it on home.

That's it. Oh, yeah. But I mean, you're also like you're still in show business. You got New York right up the street. I don't get, I get if you get $100 million going to Texas, but like, I don't know, I don't know what those other guys are doing. I want to tease them so bad and just be like, dude, you guys are literally one argument from being out of show business.

Everybody's one argument. out of being out of show business. Yeah, maybe there's some truth to that. You have been fucking killing it lately. Just killing me. Killing me for the last three months, you've been keeping me alive. Oh, thank you. Just little things you're saying.

My wife loves you on the Disney show. And I'm like, I got to get, you know, I actually miss you, Bill. With all my heart, I miss watching in the hallway alone and watching the other comics. It's just been. I'm trying to think the last time we hung out, we were at that Guns and Roses show at the Palladium, right? Oh, my God, and the chick passed out. And I kept. Oh, I left before that. Oh, you left before the chick passed out? Yeah, they were a little late going on. And my shit was, I got, you know, my wife was pregnant. So I was about to have two kids. So I was just like, I had a curfew. I was 12.30. I am out. I am out. Anything later than that. I think we both left after Pink Floyd, wish you were here. I didn't see that part.

I saw the, I saw, I think I saw like a half dozen songs, but I had just seen them outside of Paris. It was just so happening. I was, I was gigging in Europe, and then me and my wife went to France or whatever, and they were coming through, and I got to see that, I got to see that tour.

So the Bladium thing was just like a bonus. It was tremendous. But it was really cool to, see them on the sunset strip though you know where they sort of you know at least those original guys cut their teeth back when that scene was there um uh with duff slash and axel so yeah it was cool it was true i that was the best concert i had been to you know i started going back to concerts about two years ago and that concert was fucking tremendous it blew me away i didn't know they were that good but that's 30 years bill bear that's 30 years

Well, more than that, more than that. 30 years, yeah, it was like 32, 33 years since they made it. So all the years they played just to be good enough to make it. Plus all of those things. I was watching a thing last night about, it was like a little documentary about the Metallica Guns and Roses tour that they did together, which was, you know, I would have thought that they both could have done an arenas by themselves. I mean, they still can't.

It's kind of crazy. They both can still do that. And they got on tour together. And they was just sort of talking about how, like, no one thought that this tour was going to work. I want to say, though, that was the one where Hetfield got burned. Right. Some pyrotechenech went off at the wrong time. Just got basically hit with a flame thrower.

I mean, that's just, my God. It's a concede. me probably back like two weeks later yeah that guy's a fucking savage had field they don't give a fuck about anything that was a good night though at the palladium i had never been there before like i had never been there before at all so for me i just used to drive by and i would see different people but that night was just uh tremendous my wife got a kick out of it it was seeing you was great we're laughing there was a girl next to me oh that's right that's right i remember her there was couches up there There was couches.

She was passed out before Guns and Roses even went on, I think. Even went on. She was yelling and screaming the whole hour because guns went on like at 10.30. We got there at 8.45. Guns was supposed to hit the stage at 9, I think, a 10. They were an hour late. And it was just, I went to see Aerosmith in 81 when they were just done, Bill. And I know you're a Boston guy.

I fucking love Aerosmith. I fucking love them. And they were done. Joe Perry had left. Yeah, Jimmy, like Joe, Jimmy Crispo or something. Yeah, something like that was filling in. He had the Joe Perry Project. Yes, and I went to see him open up for Heart at Radio City.

So I felt bad. Like, I loved Joe Perry. I said, let me go see. Fucking Aerosmith was at like a, like a fucking, like a little convention thing. It was like 300 people. Tyler was so fucking hammered. But there was a guy in front of me that was on. heroin he kept nodding with a cigarette and there were chicks with uh those things

from the fucking 80s that would they would wear in the summer a halter top tube top a tube top and every time he'd fall asleep with the cigarette i'd push him into the girls and he'd burn the girls back and the girls would turn around and smack them and he'd go right already all right and then he finally would do it again i'd push him into the girl he burnt that same girl possibly nine times and then after one of those nods bill burry just fell to the floor and everybody started kicking him during the concert and that was the end of him that was it and then somebody punched even tyler in the face oh this is one of these shows this is how the show ended he went he had the microphone he put it out to the audience to sing the scarves somebody grabbed the scarves you don't put the

microphone out in jersey you do that in ohio where there's nice people you know what I'm saying and they started going back and forth. Finally, he just threw the thing and he dove into the fucking audience and people were wailing on him. On Stephen? Not on the guy who grabbed the mic? Was he giving a bad show or something?

It was a horrible show. And what happened was somebody threw a joint at him. He took the joint, lit it, and threw a flicker at somebody. And people were like, what the fuck is going on with you, Stephen Tyler? So you know how they pulled him out of that? They had to get him by his neck.

from the stage and pull him up. And as he was going up, somebody just laid the last tour de France on him. And they clocked him. He got on him on the stage, and he ran into the back. And that was it, done with mirrors. That was 81.

No encore that night. Nothing. Whitford had gone with the singer from Ted Nugent, and they started their own band. And Joe Perry went and started his own project. It wasn't that good either, to be honest with you. And I love Joe Perry. But that was my last fucking good concert story.

Now I'm around the corner from Jimmy Florentine. You do know that, right? I'm six houses away from him. That's about the Joey Diaz project. We're going to start an hour. I just picked up the guitar, too. I took my third guitar lesson last week. So I'm making changes.

Yeah, my friend Mike got me. Dude, I have to tell you something. Jersey is good for you. This is the happiest I've ever seen the look. You had that. I guess all the years I knew you, you had that I'm in L.A. Oh, and I think it really hit me to 2016 was like, I'm on a fucking Ferris wheel, but I can't get off.

It's not fun anymore. It wasn't fun. The store was still fun. I love going to the store and Neil Brennan doesn't want to follow me. So he would complain to Adam every week about I'm not following Diaz. Then he would come up to me, Bill Burr, and say to me, Bill, he would say, and I love Neil Brennan. I'm not putting them down. he would come up to me and go,

are you going to do a civilized normal set tonight? I swear to God, Bill Burr. Or are you going to have any, no, he told me, he goes, are you going to have any structure in your set tonight? Civilized. So I would go up to him before, like Tuesdays, he hated following me. So he would get there like an hour before. If I was a minute late, he would jump on.

He'd be so fucking happy. But when he'd see me, I would see his head go down. and I'd go up to him and I go, Neil, when are you going to teach me how to write? I want to write like you. Don't you have like a teaching style, a class that you can teach me? He never invited me down to his room, nothing because he hated follow me. Then he just stopped coming on Tuesdays. That's something you can't run from that.

Dude, I had like, I had that. Everybody has that. I had that with, I had that with fucking Christa Leah. For a while it was just like, well, Bill can follow Chris. Stalia, right? Which, all right, but it was just like, I don't want to do that work every night. Why don't I get to come in and lean on the mic stay? I got to come out here, guns ablazing like it's fucking eight o'clock, nine o'clock Saturday a night on a fucking Tuesday.

And I felt myself starting to not like him. And then I immediately shut that down because I'm older and wiser. It'd be like, no, now, now you're getting upset because this guy's making you work. This is going to make you better. And it's great for comedy that there's a. killer like this coming up. So that's one of the worst things you can do as a young comic is to like, I mean, you can have the anxiety and all that type of thing, but you have to face it. You have to face it. And then when you get older and there's the young bucks coming up,

you have to look at that as a positive thing that's going to keep you sharp. It's going to keep you, you know, on point. And then also the younger guys keep you. I mean, not young, but they keep you contemporary. It's the reason why guys like Voss and Don Marrera can still do a show in front of 20-somethings. And me at this point, I'm in my 50s. It's because if you stay around young comics, you know, you still act your age, but being around them keeps you up on what's going on. You just stay with like your perspective.

Like I went on in front of a really young crowd the other night. there's this new room out here that's sort of like the new Dublin's man it's crazy like you know celebrities are starting to show up to it and shit it's funny but it was just started off as his little parking lot show but they did just you know they're paying comics and it's like you know they're getting good comics so people coming down words getting out so I was up there last night

or two nights ago I went up there and I was making fun of them but also complimenting their generation about like I understand what they're going through you know just I can't imagine in my 20s when this is what I'm supposed to get everything out before I get married and then got to act like I never did any bad shit in front of my kids like they they're like quarantined during this how difficult that fucking is and how when what how little is left of the American dream it's like I get it there's not a lot of meat left I don't know I just kind of kind of went that thing while being the old guy yelling and them for leaving their fucking scooters

all over the place. So they kind of got like that sort of angry old man in the yard thing while I was compliment them. But it was one of those things by performing in front of them. They were keeping me younger as far as like where my mindset was. But like why they liked me was I wasn't trying to act like I understood their music or those stupid ass fucking scooters or whatever the hell it is they're doing. I was able to relate to them while still being an old bastard. And I got that great, you know that thing beyond laughter where you're connected to them? Absolutely. Yeah, there's the funny joke, ha, ha, ha, and then there's this that, that yes, fuck, I thought it was just me. That laugh is my favorite laugh. Other than, you know, these idiots who, you know,

feel like your whole act should be tailored to whatever their politics are. Those people, their look of disgust when I'm on stage fills me up like Christmas, Joey. Brother, what you're doing is just, it is hilarious. And, you know, comics are supposed to say what other people feel, like, and don't have the balls to say. That's the blueprint that I was introduced to when I started. I think you're just supposed to go up there and say what you think is funny. And it's in it's it's like nobody owns the, uh, the medium or the art, whatever you call it a stand-up comedy. It's, it's however you want to do it.

It'd be like what they're doing or trying to do this really small group of people, because so much of the noises, people at this point be like, oh, fuck cancel culture. And they would just not do that and let these idiots make their little comments and not respond. It just sort of disappears. But like, I just, I always felt like what they're trying to do to comedians. would be like if you walked up to a musician and told them what chords they were supposed to play in what sequence. Look, you can write a song from here to here using these chords and these notes. But if you use this chord, that means you're whatever is kind of what they're doing. Now, imagine

doing that to a musician and you can't even sing and you can't even play guitar. That's what they're trying to do. It's like, you don't know what's funny. You don't know what I can and can't talk about. Who the fuck are you? Here's a microphone. You do five minutes, and let me see if I want you to be my mentor. But I get to decide. Let me tell you something.

Nobody. I don't know. Listen, you're from Boston. No, I'm not. I'm from the suburbs. Whatever. Kids in Boston were fucking lunatics. You're from a nice family.

I would say suburbs. You're from a nice family. You're cultured. I've seen you act. You're polite. How fucking. brutal are those piano solos for guys like you and me to sit like when you see people in tuxedos i was talking about on the podcast last week people in tuxedos and they're sitting there and

they're watching some dude on a violin or like a piano solo and they're making believe like they're into it you're not into it you cannot be into it you can be but like it's no fucking way it's the scene that you shouldn't be into but listening to a musician playing any instance at the top of their game. I could listen to that all day long. I'm not going to sit there with ruffles on with a big fan fan myself. Right. And going, you know, like that shit.

I'm still going to dress like the end. Yeah, I'm going to take out my lighter. Yeah, like you came out and said, if I listen to the guitar, the piano solo, I die, whatever the fuck. I was rolling when I saw that Monday morning. I lived for that shit. People don't know that the Grammy thing. I was fucking row.

Bill, you have just been. The thing about the, that they got to cancel. That wasn't saying that was a bad piece of music. No. That's the hell of a fucking thing to have to go. Like, that's the comedy thing. And like, we're all out here because all those babies died and we're going to raise money tonight. All right.

Your first comedian is just like, dude, what the fuck? We know why we're here. You're killing me. So it was actually, you know, in a roundabout way, I was complimenting the guy who was playing the piano because he played it so well. He created that mood so perfectly that there was nothing I could do other than a, dress the hole that he, you know, not on purpose, put me in. I was reading some of the tweets, you know, the respond, like, oh, my God, why is he there? Like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

It's a joke. No, but that's a decent point. Why am I there? The fact that a comedian who's totally completely tone deaf and can't even play a fucking ukulele or a kazoo, not saying a ukulele is easy to play. But if all you fucking hipster doches get mad. Yeah, how could I be eligible to win a Grammy? I mean, they have to come up with these beautiful pieces of music

that make the world dance and think about love and all that shit. And I'm up there with like shit jokes, you know? But what did I fucking expect? The producers had to hire you and go, we need a little levity in this fucking thing. Let's get Bill Burr up there to break the ice a little bit, just something. What do they expect is going to come out of your? mouth brother i had i had a meltdown before i went in to go do that thing i get freaked out by

certain things that i feel are too big first of all i thought i was going to be on tv i didn't know i was on the pre-internet fucking me standing in a warehouse in burbank and not the undercard you were on the undercard yeah i was on the undercard of a fucking main card like you on the undercard on those flights they show after yeah if if the main event went too quick and it's like oh yeah Here's some shit that happened six hours ago. Yeah, I had no idea. I went out and bought a Tom Ford suit, blew all this fucking money. And so, but I thought I was going to be on the thing with the Daily Show guy.

And I was like, so I was freaking out being like, okay, so there's going to be, because there's going to be like 2,000 people there spread out, 2,000 people in the fucking Staples Center. I'm going to feel like I'm in a giant coffee house eating my balls. and the suit was supposed to be delivered. I had the wrong number. I'm trying to take my wife out to dinner, and I was just like,

I don't want to fucking do this. I didn't ask to do this. I didn't even submit for this thing. I didn't submit for this. Now I've got to go down and they wear this fucking monkey suits. I was already freaking out. And like, as always, as always, I build it up like it's going to be fucking horrific,

and everybody's going to hate me, and I'm going to have to go home and live with my parents again. And then I went in there, and I had a fucking ball. Dude, let me tell you something. The pre-grammy show is where it's at. Why? I was making the camera crew laugh.

The other hosts were hilarious. We were over there just having a fucking great time, man. And I would do it anytime they wanted, as long as it's the pre-Grammy show. I don't want to be on the real one. Now, the pre-one out in Burbank, that's the party. That's where it's at. You go to the fucking, the real one. Then you got to deal with these people who are upset.

that they didn't get enough nominations or they didn't get nominated and they're sitting there sulking even though they already sold a zillion albums which was really disappointed you know I really like the weekend you know this is probably going to damage his street cred that I like him

but just to see that guy be that into that award I know there's other you know shit involved but like at some point you got to be like look dude I'm an adult am I going to get upset because I'm not going to get a trophy like what am I in fucking Little League you got to carry yourself with a little bit of fucking arrogance. I don't need your shiny thing

that sit here and validate that my shit jokes exist. It's so crazy what we feel like my I, for me, one of the best days of my life was when, and I'm telling you this honestly,

was when I tweeted the picture of the guy I kidnapped with me at a show. I put, you know, 30 years ago, I kidnapped them now with friends. And I saw a retweet from... You always tell these stories that makes me feel like the cops are going to kick in the...

I'm turning this chick's back. I'm just like, okay, totally. A little less details. I'm laughing because I saw a tweet from Bill Burr retweeted. You retweeted that. It's a picture of me with a guy. And I go, I kidnapped this guy 30 years ago.

And now he came to my show. I really did kidnap him and do time for it. and now he came back to my show. When I saw that you retweeted that, it brought fucking, I was so happy that I put a smile on your face on a Monday morning. But now,

let's take this story three years later. I probably didn't take it seriously. I didn't think you really kidnapped him, kidnapped him and went to jail. Oh, no, I kidnapped him, put him in the trunk, the whole fucking thing, Uzi machine gun, the whole Miami Vice setup.

Now, what kind of car did you have? You must have had like an old fucking, lead sled if you could get them in the car i didn't have a car i drove a demo for a car company i was a salesman my accomplice had like a fucking malibu or something and we put it in a trap car great kidnap car the problem is he got caught in the neighborhood driving with no headlights on and they pulled them over and they heard in the trunk i was in the car so they had to come looking for me the cops but that's not what this is about this is about that i actually kidnapped

somebody. That's one of the nine predicates. Like, kidnapping is fucking serious. I thought you got at least 20 years for that. No, you're supposed to, but it wasn't really kidnapped. It was second-degree burglary, but they charge you heavy because kidnapping is basically moving somebody from one room to another without consent. Their consent.

So if I say to you, Bill, get in the fucking bedroom with a gun, that's already kidnapping. So I didn't know that. I didn't watch law and order at that time. See, now I'm up on the fucking laws. Now I know that you can't curse on. Now you'd say, Bill, sit in that chair in this room.

No, I would not. That's kidnapping, too. You know, like, people don't know that you can't curse on an open line from state to state. If I call you up from California to New York and I go, Bill, fuck you, you can actually press charge down me. You can't curse on an open line on a phone. A lot of people don't know that. But regardless of that.

that we're a half hour into the Zoom thing. What about this? No, we we get thrown under the fucking jail for this. But what I'm getting back to you at that is what that I kidnap somebody and then three years later you're on the phone with me asking me because they wanted to cancel me for laughing at, you know, for saying I got my dicksick, like 23 years ago on the Rogan podcast. And then you call me and say, hey, can you call the dogs off or whatever was going on with our mutual friend. They were canceling me for something. I did 20 years ago. That's right. That was the media. I came in. Yeah, you were there. I loved everybody involved in that. Yes, you did. So, but the funny thing was. I was at the Thanksgiving dinner. Settle down. We're all friends here.

We're all friends. Look at this spread. Let's call off the dogs. I made special stuffing. But it's so weird that I, so you want to cancel me for telling a story that Joe rogan laughed about. But nobody cared about that poor bastard in the trunk of the car. I don't understand that. I never understood this. You're preaching to the choir. I never understood this. So me doing all those burglaries, all those years, and me robbing and doing coke and going to jail, that doesn't bother you. But me saying that I got a blowjob at the comedy store upstairs 23 years ago. What you're talking about is the narrative.

The narrative. What has to happen is what you do has to be outside the narrative. If it's outside the narrative, you can pretty much do whatever you want to do. If what you do is within the narrative, did somebody just walk by a mirror on my trip in here? Yeah, no, no, you're okay. If what you do, there it is again. And then your house is haunted. If what you do is within the narrative, then you have to be on the, what they decided is the right side of the double line of the narrative.

If you go on the other side of the street, then they will destroy your career. So the reality is, is they don't give a shit about other people. They give a shit about themselves. And because that that's where their empathy lies, they are astoundingly and ironically, can be unbelievably sexist, reverse racist, and everything that they are allegedly fighting. And what's so funny is they don't see it. And I can bring up some of examples that happened to me,

but I don't wanna drag other people into it. But there was shit where, you know, stuff that they were going after happened to me, but because it happened to me and I didn't fit the narrative, nobody gave a shit. And would ignore, that and then talk about three minutes earlier in my act that didn't fit the narrative and trash me and try to cancel me for that. So it's just like, you guys are doing the thing I always say.

It's a fucking buffet line. It's a buffet line. They're just walking down, picking whatever fits their thing. You know, I had a friend of mine, they tried to cancel this person for an analogy. For an analogy they didn't agree with. Nothing, you know, racist, it's a homophobic. I had a whole checklist nothing it was an analogy that they did not agree with so it's it's like you know I just saw a thing that there was a guy a dad up in Canada his is his daughter identifies as as a boy all right I don't forget how old or whatever right so the daughter wants to transition the mother's cool with it the dad isn't so because he's public been speaking out against and also not referring to this person as him or whatever pronouns

they want. They were talking about putting him in jail. And it's like that's one of those things where it's like when I look at that thing, it's like everybody involved is going through some sort of trauma. And you have to have empathy for the whole thing. I have empathy for I can't imagine being born one sex you identify as the other. What a mind fuck that is. So you have to have empathy for that. But there's also another empathy where it's just like, you know, like, I think there's degrees. You got to get people like this, like this is the person's dad. And the way you love a child and your idea what they are, I mean, give the guy a minute to fucking process it where it's just like, you know, if I just met that person and they said, hey,

yeah, hi, I'm transitioning, blah, blah, blah, blah, I could, yeah, yeah, okay, cool, whatever. But then, you know, then there's other levels. If I worked with you for fucking five years and all of a sudden you, Joey, would become a Josephina. There's going to be a period of, what? What the, and it's all the conversation we have and process. How did I never see that?

But wherever you are on that whole spectrum of dealing with it is what you should be allowed to go through. I mean, the guy is not like, you know, He's just, he's not there yet. And I just don't see how putting the guy in prison is going to like, uh, solve like he's going to go to jail and be like, oh, now I'm open minded. Now I got it. Now I'm empathetic.

I get it. There's something about coming in here and having to make a shank out of my toothbrush and try not get raped in the ass that I now understand this. It's like, that guy needs. He needs help. He needs counseling. So I'm confused. I'm also not a lawyer. I don't live in Canada. I don't see how grabbing this guy by the back of his throat, the back of his neck and thrown him into his cell. You know, it's, I feel like that is, that is an unbelievable thing for everybody involved in to deal with and everybody should be entitled to their emotions. As long as they are working towards a common ground. I feel like it should be handled privately. It's like none of my fucking business. Like I certainly wouldn't chastise, nor am I right now,

chastising anybody involved or even Canada for, I guess, putting this guy in G. If this is even a real story, it's like, I'm just like saying that's a, that's a, that's a hell of a, it's a quagmire there. I got to ask you a question, the real reason, why I wanted to talk to you was because of your recent, I see a different Bill Burr. I see a Bill Burr. We've all grown from this.

We've all changed from this. But I can see from during this time period, this pandemic. You know, everything being shut down. I was that kidnapping, the Canada thing. No, no, fuck all that shit. Fuck all that. No, the guy in the mirror, that's poor Bruce Lee. You know, he ate an aspirin and died.

What are he going to do? but I see your attitude. I see your attitude lately. I don't know if you're doing this, if you're aware of it. You are uncancereable. You don't give a fuck if they cancer you. Just like me, but you're...

That's not true? I still want to sell tickets. I know you still want to sell tickets, and you always will sell tickets. You're uncannable because of the way you're holding yourself up as a man. You don't give a fuck. like we come i do give a fuck i i give a fuck too but we're not supposed to is comics

no no i i i don't go out and try i don't i'm not going to be like i don't set out to like fucking hurt people i'm just trying to make you laugh that's it that's me too that's it but my thing is just like yeah it's just like joey if you came up and criticized my act i'm going to listen to you you're a comedian you know what i mean it's just like um and here's the thing too If these people come up to me and I was in a bad mood and I let my emotions get the best of me and I was really trying to be malicious and hurt somebody, then I am in the wrong and I would 100% apologize. But, you know, if you ask a comic what they meant by, it's like, I was just joking around.

You're joking around. And then you try to tell me that, no, you weren't. Then you're basically saying that you know what I'm thinking more than I do. I mean, I get there paranoia because there's a lot of, you know, there's people that are like, oh, no, I didn't mean it. That way, there's passive-aggressive thing.

In my heart of hearts, I'm not fucking doing that. I'm definitely like, you know, like, you know, the deal. If I'm going up in front of a bunch of cops, I'm making fun of cops. I mean, that's just a comedy thing. I did that once.

If I'm doing the Grammys and, oh, we just played this beautiful, sad piece of music, I'm going to make fun. I mean, that's what I'm going to do. It's what I'm going to do. going to do, that's my fucking job. And you're laughing because it is so ridiculous. But that guy played was a beautiful piece of music that fit this mood. For me to walk on and do what I do after what he did, the joke is just laying there waiting to be told. And it's just a fucking joke. It's not like,

I don't respect that guy and I don't think he should have a Grammy. It's none of that. It's just me doing my job, which is being a fucking idiot. I wish people on this. stood this for what it was and they're not and they're turning into something else and it just it doesn't make sense to me either it never meant sense to me i don't even like talking about because it's it's so few people it's so few people it's so few people and i find those types of people ironically are some of the most like closed off walled off um there is only one way there is my way like they're like these little dictators of thought. And they can't even handle that somebody they don't like.

And they fucking fuck up in 80% of their career still wants to go to some chuckle hut and tell tickets, sell, uh, you know, do his jokes and sell some tickets. They can't handle that there's 200 people that want to go see them do it. They're trying to make those 200 people not get to go. And that's what to me gets like, now wait a minute. Like now you're kind of, you're fucking with the whole. thing that's supposed to be freedom.

I get that you don't want to go see him. I get, or her, I get that a bunch of people don't, so don't go. But this person still has a right to be like, hey, I'm going to do my little song and dance here. It's so fucked. Like, the fact that the clan can still march. But if you get in the crosshairs of these people, you can't go tell your shit jokes in the middle of fucking nowhere

is like you still can but I mean they're acting like they're I don't know that that it's even in my situation you're literally becoming

I mean isn't a lot of this like about abuse of power and that type of stuff it's just like I think you're kind of abusing your power at that point where just this the whole the whole idea of it the whole idea the whole thing i've got to be honest to do is uh it's more fascinating than frustrating because i it's the thing those people that try to

cancel you i don't really i don't hate them either i find them confusing i find them confusing i pray for them i don't think that they're bad people i just think that there's something there's a void there i don't know what the fuck it i always feel like if i hung out with them you give me 15 minutes and you'd like me and you'd always feel like me and you'd always feel like me and you'd see that your perception of me is probably 180 from what you thought. Absolutely. Absolutely. Because also so much of doing stand-up, at least the way I do it, is trying to keep people at bay and trying to keep you away from me because of the way I grew up. And the time that I grew up, people got enclosed, they hurt you. So you get this walled-off thing.

And some people get that out by playing music. Some people, get that out by acting. Some people get it out writing. There's a bunch of working out, all of those shit. I get it out by going on stage, finding out what bothers you and then talking about it and getting you right to the point where you think I'm going to say something fucked up and then I don't. But other people's lines are different, so they might think that I cross or whatever. But it's just like, I'm just fucking around. I'm just fucking around. So yeah, that's it. There's nothing there's really nothing happened in here nothing what's uh how's the family oh they're awesome well my daughter's you got the sniffles right now so uh i got to wear like i'm downstairs

here but i got to wear like a mask in my house to make sure you know nobody gets sick so right now i'm just you know i'm getting ready i got a little i'm going to do some uh my one of my last zoom shows i think i'm going to do a zoom show for new zealand and australia and uh so I can hit the ground running so my axe ready. You know, I got the vaccine two days ago. Both shots. I got one to Pfizer. Okay.

I got the first one. So I feel fine. I didn't get sick or anything. My arm was a little bit sore, but I had an older brother, so I grew up with a sore shoulder. I was kind of used to that. So, but yeah, it doesn't like, this was, I got it on Friday. It's six o'clock, so it's a day and a half later. You'll be fine on this one.

It's the second one they say that knocks you down for 10 hours, 12 hours, whatever. But I also feel like that that also comes down to how well you've been eating, how many, you know, taking your vitamins and getting your sleep. I bet you're on the shorter end of what's going to happen. By the way, dude, I've been straight edge this whole fucking month. Which means. That means no drinking, no drugs. No, no, not it was a big drug guy, but like I quit drinking in 2018 and then gradually over the year and a half, I just sort of replaced it with eating gummies.

And I just sort of realized, I told this story, I took mushrooms for the first time. I heard and that's what we were getting to that. Yeah. And I, you know, I had the giggles. And, you know, I didn't take a, like, crazy tripping. But shit definitely looked like it was breathing. You know, the toilet looked like it was breathing. The TV looked like it was getting bigger and bigger

and it was going to fall on me, like shit like that, which was kind of, you know, it was fun. Did your wife know you were on him? Yes. And was she on them? Listen, listen. I declined to answer that on the grounds. I might incriminate somebody.

You got it. So I, after about, there was about four hour trip, about two hours in, I just had this profound sense of loneliness. The exact opposite, I guess what you're supposed to feel, not being loved. And, yeah, I just, that's what I felt, lonely and not love. So I'm laying in bed, I'm looking at my wife, and I'm thinking like, Jesus Christ, did I marry the wrong person? person, you know, which when you're married, you mean you think that every like five, no, I don't think every five days. Now it's more like once a month, but back when I was more volatile every two, three days, fucking shoot you this shit, ah, screaming yelling like a, and it was all

me, right? But I was like, all right, wait a minute, let me think about my kids, because that's a no-brainer. I know I love my kids and I know my kids love me. And I thought about them and I still felt it. Same feeling. So I was like, all right, so this isn't that. This isn't that. This This isn't them. This is me. What the fuck is this? And I just laid there thinking about it, you know? And I was like, oh, shit.

This is what I felt like growing up. And this is what I've been running from for the entire 30 years since I became an adult. You know, drinking and fucking getting arguments with people and just trying to achieve shit. And just, oh, just trying to just keep. keeping the smoke behind me. And this was just sort of like, you got to turn around and steer back into that and you have to do it without an altered mind

because that is not helping you. And it's affecting the people around you in a negative way. So I went back to therapy. I was already in therapy. So now I sort of know, you know, like this, like, you know, having a glass of wine, I having a gummy or something like, that is you i was never doing that for the right reasons like i had like this like i always just

been like fucking uh like a car that's been idling a little too high right burning through the fuel and and and i've always had like this like that's where i was because that's you had to be on your toes i was basically in the fight or flight mindset for i don't know how many years like when i I was a kid, I had like fucking alopecia. And that happened like right through my adult year. I lose like a clump of hair somewhere because I was just, my body was like, just so in like this, this mindset. So now, um, I'm sort of learning how to, uh, I read this, I started to read this book, the verbally abusive relationship. And I thought the whole time I was going to be reading it, that I'd be like, oh, that's so and so and this is so and so. And that's that teacher I had.

blah blah and I was reading it going like oh shit I do that page two hey been there before and as much as but it made me feel good though that I was seeing myself in the book as is painful as it is to see that you have those elements what I liked was I wasn't in my past anymore you know thinking about fucking shit that happened to me when I was eight that like you know and I really had like this this thought at one point when I was thinking about all the shit that happened to me when my kid is that my perception of it is not reality. And the people that I talk to, their perception of it is not reality.

It's somewhere in the middle. Because when you're a kid, like literally somebody walking up to your bicycle and taking a knife and stabbing the back tire and letting the air out, that is your universe. That is like somebody just attacked you everything that is you your freedom your whole fucking thing It's not till you get older. It's like it's a fucking bike man. You know, this kid's a cunt, you know, whatever Go buy a new tire and a tube. It's literally this big, but when you're a kid, it's from here to the fucking moon. So the weight that you put on adults when you're a kid is not fair to the adults. And I think that's something that a lot of people have a problem. myself included getting past like how could you not know that if you did this that that was going

to affect me that way how did i not know because i had fucking 10 kids and i was going to work every day going jesus christ they're all going to go to college someday that i made some flippant remark or i did some stupid shit that i thought was funny but to you was fucking devastating so they're wrong and i'm wrong it's somewhere in the middle yeah that was a fucking joke And that gets back probably to the cancel culture thing. That maybe I'm a little wrong and they're a little wrong when the reality's in the middle. And I don't think that the fucking solution is that someone has to be disintegrated. And then that somebody, one person's perception of it is what it is.

It isn't. It's the same thing with fucking politics. These fucking people watch CNN all day. They watch Fox News all day. And that becomes your fucking universe. and you literally lose the ability. I had a buddy mind the other day. The other day, he's one of these guys all the time,

is saying, Bill, that's not, you know, Trump isn't racist or fucking, you know, that thing where that guy went in and shot those Asian women or people at the, at the, at the, uh, massage bar. At the spa, yeah. I don't think it was racially motivated. It's just like, I was just like, all right, all right.

It's just like, do you understand how funny it is that you're going to tell a, a race of people that you're not what their feeling should be. Like, I always love the white guys going, yeah, Trump isn't racist. It's just like, so somehow all of those black people are getting their own experience wrong, day to day, but you as a white person who has never been them and had to deal with a white guy like that. You have the inside scoop. And I think that all people do that, including. these so-called woke people.

Like, it's a really, I think it's an astoundingly arrogant mindset to be in, to walk around. First of all, to call yourself woke. It's like, shouldn't somebody from an impoverished group be telling you that rather than you just putting those stripes on your sleeve? I knight myself, woke.

Are you woke? No, nobody is. No, me neither. Nobody is. I'm not woke and I don't want to be moke. Everybody. If all of our, if every, if I always used to do this joke of my act, if all of your texts were made public tomorrow, could any of you go to work on Monday?

If every thought you ever, you had during the course of the day, there's no fucking way you're not getting canceled. Think about the times you've just driven down the street going, oh, look at that chick. Look at that hot chick and it turned out to be a dude. Or think of the times you mean that, oh, look at the ass on her. And then you're like, oh, shit, I didn't know she was that young. Just that alone, done. Think about the things like racially, how you've perceived shit.

This all goes on in your fucking head. And these woke people act like they don't do that. Act like they are always just walking around. And every perception that they have is right. I know that's not true because I know what they think about me. And they're wrong. And they are 100% thinking that they're in the right. It's a very,

And I'm saying this isn't a ridiculously flawed human being. That it is an incredibly immature and not enlightened way to go through life to feel like you have all the answers in the way that you think is correct. You have your belief systems and you have your gut. Okay. And you know, and you have times when you need to protect yourself. you know at nighttime walking to your fucking car in a parking lot

and it's pitch blackout you're gonna think the worst of people you can't be walking up all the leaves are brown that's how you end up in trunk of a fucking Malibu right that's how it happened yeah so

um but I also think that this sort of overcorrection thing kind of had to happen because it was so it was so wrong the other way for so fucking long and I think eventually

we're going to come out of this because I think most people people on the right and the left are in the middle going, thinking like, we need to dial this back a little bit, you know, like is with the canceling. And then on the other side, that old school, you know, one of the red flags, so to speak, when you get on the road, when you meet like a white dude is just like when they go, there's certain red flags that people say. If a white guy says, listen, I tell it like it is. I know that there's an 80% chance he's feeling me out to see if it's okay for him to drop

the N-word in about 10 minutes. That's been my experience on the road. I also know that when I meet women who say guys can't handle me, I know that they are an unexamined person who's a fucking asshole who is now like in their ego. Like, yeah, you know, guys can't fucking handle me. That's big in LA. A lot of women say that in LA. Yeah, guys can't handle me.

Yeah, I'm too much. You know, you got to be able to handle me. It's like, wow, I just met you and you're already trying to break down my self-esteem. That it's not that you're a jerk. It's that I can't handle you. And what they are doing is they are putting that out there. And they're going to find a weak person that they can manipulate. And they are going to abuse that person for the entire time.

that they're in that relationship and you know that this whole narrative out there that that's the guy doing it because that whole a verbally abusive relationship what's funny it was written a long time ago it is written from the person it's for women the whole thing is like it's saying and whenever they talk about the victim they always say she so it was you know it's also because of how fucking ridiculously sexist i imagine i didn't live back then the way it was when it was written was written like in 1970, I think the first edition, something like that. And it was undoing all of these years of these, these, you know, toxic relationships between men and women where guys back then could use their force, their strength, their bully and all of that type of shit and just did horrible

things to women. So, you know, the old me would have got pissed and fucking not read the book, but I just said, okay, wait, this was written in the 70s. This book needed to be written. It still needs to be written. But like what happens is now there's been this overcorrection. I feel that like they don't understand that as a woman you can do the same thing. You can do that to a guy. Very easily, very easily. And if you combine that with the fact that guys aren't allowed to say that they need affection, they need to hit, they need an adder boy and that they need you that for guys we grow up and that's like weak you know what i mean you're supposed to be oh i don't give a fuck i don't need anybody you know me joey i don't give a fuck you know you got to be in that mindset

um yeah those are the guys that are usually they get a little too many and they start crying at the bar those guys who don't give a fuck not all the time but every once in a while dude if you say dude what's going on with you you have the goodwill hunting moment it's not your fault it's not your So there's a lot going on. There's a lot going on out there, Joey. I'm happy that you're happy, man. I missed you physically, mentally. I miss watching you on stage.

I'll tell you to your face. I think that flying tiger, whatever the fuck, your last special was, was one of the best things I ever saw on my fucking life, the levels. Flying tiger, hidden hack. Yeah, that was my last one. The name of it, it doesn't matter.

I think it was one of the best things I've ever seen. Oh, thank you. I miss you and congratulate you on all your success. Well, I already love coming back east, so the fact that I'm going to get to see you now, because as much as you lived out here, I mean, I'd run into you at the store. Yeah, the store. So I'm not worried about, you know, the Tex-Mex crew out there. I know I'm going to see all those guys.

It's crazy how the other dad was driving, and I had an FIS for Family minute. Like right now, I'm living FIS for Family. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, Frank is based mainly on me. Well, no shit. I'm more frank than anybody. But it's just so weird how I'm a suburban dad now.

Like, I'm a suburban dad that does comedy. That's it. No, but that's all. That's all I want to do right now. I know, but that's a great. That's a great thing. Great combination. If you walk around, dude, if you walk around feeling filled up and feeling like you have enough.

Like, dude, I have. so much shit I want to get rid of. And I just don't mean stuff emotionally for my past. I have like, you know, I got all these fucking free t-shirts that I got to gigs and shit that means something to me. You know, I got this T-shirt. I'll keep this one. Southpaw guitar.

All right. My favorite guitar store, because I play left-handed, I try anyway. And it's nothing but lefty guitars. And it's in Houston, Texas. One of my favorite places to do stand-up. Love it. Houston. Love it. Oh, yeah. All this stuff. You know, it's the first place I saw Stanhope.

The first place I saw, you know, Mitch Headberg and all of those guys. I heard about the legend of them. Then he had Bill Hicks and Sam Kinnis and all that. It's just, it's just, it's in there. There's something about Houston. It's just fucking fucking amazing. That's why I wouldn't move to Austin because I would have cheated on Houston. That's the real truth. I don't want to move to Austin. I just saw too many white dreads and food trucks and tie-dye shirts. They wait for fucking, they weighed online. I'm a Houston, Texas. And the traffic is terrible.

I like... I go all the way. I back with Earl Campbell to Houston. Monday night football. Earl running down. Fucking Houston going crazy. I remember being a kidding. Houston Oilers.

Remember the song? Houston Oilers. Houston. I was like... Number one. Yeah, that and I was a cowboys guy. I like Dallas and I like Houston. Me too.

I don't like Austin or whatever. But like, oh, a red flag. A red flag for me. Any city. that uses the moniker, keep it weird. Portland, Oregon, Austin, Yellow Springs, Ohio. I'm not saying I don't like those places.

It's just like I know that I'm going to run into a certain intolerant white person on the other spectrum. Same way, I don't want to walk into a clan meeting. I don't need, I don't need like vicious wokenness. coming at me with a bunch of white people. I don't want to be around. They're nauseating to be around. And they're not weird.

You go there. There's a Shell Station. There's a Citibank. Wow, it's so fucking weird. The oil companies and banks also own you. There's nothing weird here. Tie-dye shirts were in style 50 fucking years ago. Stop it.

I love Texas, but I wanted to just, I'm more of a Houston guy. And I like Dallas, too. You know, I grew up a closet cowboy fan. I couldn't say nothing. I fucking hated Phil Sims. But I loved fucking Dorset. I loved everybody down there.

Oh, yeah. I loved everybody. Roger Storbach, Tony Dorset, Robert Newhouse, fucking. I got a thing. Golden Richards, Drew Pearson, John Fitzgererring. I got a poster of Hollywood Henderson right there on my wall. Right now, I'll show it to you.

Hollywood Henderson. Have you ever read his autobiography? Fuck yeah. And I tried to get him on the podcast. They're trying to sell a fucking story of his life right now. I don't know why they don't make a movie. Like, people wouldn't even believe it. And he didn't even believe.

And this is a thing, too. He was Lawrence Taylor before Lawrence Taylor. Before Lawrence Taylor. The reason why Lawrence Taylor, I always tell you this, the reason why Lawrence Taylor looks like he fell out of the sky was because the next, the guy between a Dick, Dick, Dick, Butchus, and Lambert and all of those middle linebackers,

was Hollywood Henderson, but he messed it up on drugs, so he was a blip really quick. I mean, what that guy did, dude, he returned to 1976. He returned a fucking kickoff. They had a middle linebacker returning a kickoff. I mean, this guy was otherworldly.

And from what I heard, Lawrence Taylor, that was his guy. That was his guy. And you see him doing that, coming up into the play, fighting off the block of some 270, 275 pound guy was the 300 pounds of the 70s, right? And making a play, like that guy was like,

was one of the greatest athletes of the 70s that played football at the linebacker position. He just was. Unfortunately, he just, you know, they didn't know anything. Dude, when cocaine first came out, doctors said it's no more addictive than caffeine. Dude, how about when he was, he didn't even know how to chop it up?

And he was just doing straight, raw cocaine. He had a fucking hole in his nose from one. side of the other he'd pack it with cocaine before the game and he would go out on the field his whole face was numb i didn't even know about this i know i read the one book way it's in the book and then he would go in during the locker uh in the locker room and tom landry's straight lace with the fedora had no idea what was going on he'd spend the entire half time blowing his nose and then repacking it with cocaine as tom was out there doing the fucking exes and o's about the second half dude it was it was it was it was wild.

When they beat the Denver Broncos before the game, he crushed a can of Orange Crush. That's what they called their defense or whatever. And I think that's the game. He ran an interception back, and he fucking won the Super Bowl. I mean, he was just tremendous, that guy. And they fired him for what?

They were losing, and he put his finger up, that they were number one. He had Drew Pearson's towel company in his pants. Right. And they were losing and he picked it up and he went number one and that's why he got fired. I think that was it. But he used to hang out at the comedy store. What's that? He used to hang out the comedy store. Yeah, man. That that that that he lived in Dallas. He played for Dallas, but he kept the condo in LA and he would get a limousine with the pointer sisters and they would smoke crack, smoke, uh, this one was free base. Free base. Yeah. And they would go pick up Richard at the fucking. comedy store. I think he's got two books. I got I got I got one here somewhere. Well, he lived he lived a number of books. I only read the one. Yeah, I got I could there's two of them and I got one or maybe two of them here. You know what's another great one?

You ever read Ken Stabler's autobiography, the snake? No, how about this one? Son of Ivana Louis Tiant. Oh my God, I got to read that. I got to send it to you. This is fucking this is you know dog I grew up a fucking Met fan but when the Boston Red Sox organization which is known for being the cheapest flew his parents

in for games five against the Cincinnati Reds Fidel let his parents come to Fenway you don't in 76 or 75 you didn't go to Cuba

without an envelope to see Fidel and ask if his parents could come. This is a great fucking book. I'll send it to you as a favor of thank you for doing the podcast. We used to do that, man. We used to play. This is great. We used to play pitchers poison, right?

That's a game that died out, right? You didn't have enough guys to play baseball. So the pitcher, the pitching mom was first base. And then anything off to one side of the field wasn't out, right? He just had to pull the ball. So I remember we used to do the Louis T on. This might look backwards like I'm a lefty, but his shit, his shit, I can still do it, right?

he'd go like this he come down he'd do this with the thing and then he would go all the way back and then come around all the way back um we used to do him uh dude that's about back we used to imitate foul shots like he were doing impressions when you were a kid because there was there was no you know the stuff that these kids have nowadays man it's just fucking amazing like i get why they don't leave the house i get why they're i get it too i get it too it's like you can't judge him it's just like, dude, the level of temptation. I mean, dude, the flat screen TV is a fucking movie screen. And some of them now with this, this 4G or whatever, you feel like you can put your hand into it.

I compare it to, you have like low riders, you know when they put like 30 coats of paint and it starts to look like water and you feel like you could just put your hand through the hood of the car. Like TVs look like that. I'm going to go outside and go play pictures poison. Remember Pickle? You want to go play pickle? Pickle? Pickle, pitchers, poison. I began out of play pickle.

That was you would just, you would just someone would be running back and forth, you would just be practicing. How the fuck did you play pickle? I can't even remember how to play it. Like, how did the, how did the ball get into play? I forget. Me too. A lot of years of reefer.

A lot of smoking, Bill Burr. We're almost out of here. I know. Bill, thank you. I know. You've been trying to wrap it up for 10 minutes. I miss just much. Watch, I try to extend it.

I'll go for, I try to extend it. Well, my daughter's sick and my wife's up there handling two kids right now. That's why I was, I knew I wanted to keep you short with it. No worries. I love you, Bill. All right, love you too, brother. I want to tell you something, man, I looked up to you for a long time. You're one of the guys I looked up to for structure and, you know, when Neil would bust my balls, I would go.

I got to watch for Bill Burr because I got to get a structure. I don't fucking listen to him. Dude, you go up and do it the way you're supposed to do it. Do you really think I listen to Neil Bren? I don't give a fuck with anybody says. I love you, Bill Burr. Thank you very much for taking the time. All right.

I love you too, brother. I'll see you when you come back. I love Neil Brennan, too. I love Neil too. He's a director. He can't help it. Send them that cock suck of my love. Love you, buddy.

Thank you. All right. Talk you later. See you. I hope you enjoyed that, you bad motherfuckers. That was a nice little chat. I had forgotten all about that. We even went to see Guns and Roses like in December or something before the fucking pandemic.

It was great to see Bill. It's, you know, I look up to him. Like I said during the interview with him, his new attitude is tremendous. He doesn't give a fuck. And that's the attitude that makes him the best comic in the fucking planet. He doesn't give a fuck. You know, he goes out and he says what the fuck he says. The piano thing almost all that shit is what a comic is really all about.

So if you're learning or if you're thinking of becoming a comic, yeah, there's some great comics out there to follow. But I really want you to watch what Bill Burr's doing and learn from it. It's a state of mind that you have to live through. You can tell people all you want that they can't cancel you. That's not it. It's a state of mind and how you hold yourself and how you walk into a room. And Bill's doing it all right. He's, uh, I'm definitely looking up to him as a fucking mentoring comedy right now.

But anyway, thank you for watching. I hope you're enjoying this new little fucking hybrid we're doing from time to time. It's Monday morning. Get out there, sling some dick. Fucking April's on the way. That's it. That's it. We're getting vaccinated.

The light is starting to come up. The shoe's going to drop, but the light at the end of the tunnel, I could see it a little bit. You know what I'm saying? And I know you guys could see the same. Thank you very much for watching. Have a fucking great week.

And thank you for supporting the joint motherfuckers. And now for a word from my motherfucking sponsors, Jack. Stay black. All right, you cocks suckers, I want to thank my brother, Bill Burr for coming on. Great guy, great comic. It was great seeing him, and I hope you guys enjoyed him. He's one of the best in the business. But before we leave, I got to talk to you about some CBD.

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