The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - 05/15/2013 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #80

Episode Date: May 16, 2013

Aubrey Marcus, the creator and owner of Onnit Labs calls into the podcast. Steve Mocco, current American Top Team fighter, former Olympic Wrestler and resident of North Bergen NJ also calls in. This podcast is brought to you by Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH at checkout for a discount. Streamed live on 05/15/2013

Oh shit. It's that time of the day. May, what is it? It's the halfway fucking. It's half time of fucking May. And you're still sitting there with a finger up your ass, contemplating, calling some vocational school because you want to learn how to fucking cook.

Get your shit. Together, bitches. It's Wednesday, May 15th. My main man, the flying Jew. Me, Uncle Joey Diaz. What the fuck? fuck. We're here. We're smoking. We got Ted Nugenthala. It's not the song

you expected, but it kicks it off completely. Smoking dope, drinking cookies. Drinking coffee. I've got no fucking. I've got a banana. A little protein shake. Who's better than me? Got up at 4.30? Yeah, you're up early this morning. Four fucking 30. I went to bed 11.30 last one. Went to kickboxing until 9.30.

We're at home. What I have at house? I eat something at house. Oh, I have peanut butter. Nice. A little peanut butter on a fucking spool. a banana some water I got I got fucking

super stone the last two days you don't say that's so unlike two fucking stoned do I tell you about Monday night no what happened

Monday night took it to the trenches took a deep I haven't done gone that deep in fucking months I think I had like a bang bar

okay I walked around with the baby from 801 okay and I got home at a quarter to 11 no you didn't

yes I did where are you walking you know this listen I have a For three hours in the morning, what the fuck I'm going to do? Sit there with her and watch SpongeBob. Oh, this is... I thought you should.

I thought this was nighttime. No, no, no, this is daytime. Okay. You know, you can just watch so many episodes of SpongeBob. That's my shit, by the way. It's SpongeBob, Dora the Explorer, and fucking Max and Ruby. Max and Ruby's ass. Dora is fucking good.

You know, they talk about Latinos and issues, and it says that your son could improve social skills and that, you know, math. He's good at math. Get the fuck out of here. And then whatever is my show. Fucking SpongeBob is the shit. Are they still making new? I know you don't know if it's...

I don't know. But I tell you this. So I took her... Something happened at the house. Me and my wife with her. And she goes, what are you going to do? I go, you know what? Let me take her now.

And I have it back like by 930. I got into a beef. I got all the way down the Riverside by fucking Lancash. Did you really? Yes. Yeah. It was beautiful. It was hot.

You know, I was sweating. I had water with me. She was past the fuck out. I'm like, again, what am I going to do with the hot? You can't put a child down. Expect to write a story or a joke. It's not going to happen. Yeah.

You're under their fucking beck and call. You can watch the TV, maybe read it. I have three pages in a chapter and a book, but your attention's always on that. Yeah. I said, fuck it. When I make the attention on me, I'll fucking walk with her. She falls asleep after 25 minutes.

Oh, really? It's like a car ride. Yeah, it's like a car ride. So after that, she gets all mo mo moaned up. I take that all over the world. But let me tell you something, I got back. I like quarter to 11, my shirt was dressed to my fucking stomach.

You know, I put it down, I had to run some errands. I got back at like 12, 35. Okay. And I told the lady, I go, listen, I got to go in the bedroom and close my eyes for now. So I closed my eyes until about two. Okay. I got up, brushed my teeth, and I shot over to the coffee shop. Yeah.

And I wrote until about four. I went over to the weed store. What a surprise. And I got a bang bar. And I got an anti-Dolores. something like the one 180 milligram thing right so i inhaled that first and wait have you had did you have a bang bar in the morning you said no no no no no okay okay i just smoked a little reef in the morning was running around and then i had the bang bar and something else and i went

home boy about 630 i'm fucked up i am fucked up i am sitting at going jesus christ chris shit's starting to move by seven o'clock once diane saw you finished i was I was fucked up. I was trying to watch Jeopardy, college students. I had some kid from Udica, New York, was wedding, and I was trying to play with him, and also I caught myself on fucking Jeopardy. Like, I was on Jeopardy.

Like, I was on Jeopardy. With the suit on, with my Yukon shirt on, like a half of fucking fruit. And I was like, oh, my God. I looked at my wife, and she was what? I had to lay down for two hours. She goes, what the fuck lay down for two hours? You just going to go to sleep.

I said, maybe so, but I'm just going to sleep for two hours. I went to bed at 7, 7.15, I woke up with three. I got some water, a piece of tuna that was in the refrigerator, and I went right back to bed until 7 o'clock. Holy shit. And you know, listen, man, it's not that you're lazy. It's that I go so many nights on six or seven hours. Like last night, I went on five hours. I'm cool this morning.

I got a ton of fucking energy. I feel great. The protein, the kickbox before I went to bed, all that shit. It just stacks the fucking. up. Yeah. And you, like tomorrow I got to fly and that's, you know, I don't know if I'm leaving early because I got to get them. I'll be on the Audi Lang show Thursday night.

So if you guys have DirecTV or whatever the fuck it's on, I'll find out. I'll look for it. Yeah, I'm sure you were all the particulars today. How are you feeling? You've been swimming? Yeah, I didn't do it yesterday, but I haven't feeling really good. Did you do it Monday? Yeah, no, I've done. It was fucking hot. It was like a pleasure jumping in a fucking pool, wasn't it?

And it's not heated, so when it's only when it's kind of medium, it's like a shock, but when it's 100 degrees, it feels great. I am liking it and I do like the hardest part for people who haven't done it, the hardest powder about anything new is the first

few days because I hate the juice past. But now I've left like 22 pounds or something and it's nice seeing it go down every day so it's something I'm doing but no I feel good. You know what you should do when it's hot. Just go for a walk around the neighborhood.

Just 10 minutes. So by the time you get here you're hot. Yeah and then jump in And that pool is like a fucking, it's like a grapefruit. There was, and I feel bad saying this, there's a, like, a group or a family of special needs kids. And the reason I didn't go yesterday was because one of them was just, like, doing laps, like, in the back of the pool, just, like, walking back and forth. And I just, I didn't want to have to deal with that. So I didn't go in. What time are they going?

You got to find that what time they go in. That's the first time I've seen him there. He's usually just walking with their mom or something, and I just, I didn't feel comfortable going in the pool. What do you was going to do you? No, I didn't think he was going to do anything. I just, I don't know. I'm self-conscious already doing laps, but with him just walking back and forth,

and then I don't pay attention to I run into him or something. So it's mainly my fault. It's amazing. It's fucking amazing. How you get embarrassed in time? So I tell you what I have the hardest time on. What? You ever pull up to a 7-Eleven?

There's always that guy looking for money out front. Oh, yeah? I have the hardest. Sometimes I'll sit in my car and drive away. Oh, really? Just because I don't want to go with the drama. I feel bad if I give money and I feel worse. I don't give it to him.

But I know he's a young man, and I know he can get a gun and go out there and earn the fucking money, or get a fucking shovel, or do it over the fuck. Hey, listen, man, you know what? You pull up to somebody's business and you go, hey, I got no money.

I ain't looking for nothing, but I see boxes in front of here. Let me sweep the fucking thing for you. And they'll give you five bucks. You know how I know? Because I used to do it. Yeah, there's a bunch of pizza places in Boston that we'll have them bring the sodas in or something.

Yeah, something. You know, if you go there with holes in your shirt, with a fucking I hate Jews fucking tattoo, They're not going to give you a fucking work. But if you go there and look somebody in the angle, you got a bunch of oil back here, can I clean it up or whatever? It's a lot better than standing in front of fucking 7-Eleven

and making me uncomfortable. They make me uncomfortable. It gives me fucking anxiety, and I catch myself, and I'm like, why do I get anxiety over this fucking homeless guy? If I give him a quarter, I lose, and if I don't give him a fucking quarter, I lose.

When I used to go to fourth grade, I had Sister Anna Banana. I love Sister Anna. She was out of all the nuns at Sacred Heart. It was her and Sister Angela Marie that were fucking cool. But Sister Anna, used to always tell me two things that I've always stayed with me.

One that reflects to me. She used to say, empty barrels make the most noise. That's me. Stupid fucking people. Okay. And she'd say that someday, you know, somebody would ask you for help. That could be God.

Dressed us up in the skies. And when you go to fucking heaven years later, he'll be dressed in that fucking disguise and say, you remember me, you're going to help me that fucking day. And that always stayed with me. You know, my life is guided by religion, the Catholicism religion in different corners. And it sticks with me.

And I didn't fucking know this until about a year ago that this is what guides me. You know, all those little fucking lessons and dumb shit I'd heard when I was younger. But who gets a fuck? You know what I'm saying? Do they always find you? They always find me, and I made the mistake. Because you go to that 7-Eleven a lot. When I was living in Boston, I went to school and worked literally on the same corner.

And I gave money to a guy once, and I was there every day. And every day he found me. He would shake my hand. He'd walk me to the train station. And it's just like, Jesus Christ, you can't. If you go there a lot, you can't do it. Well, sometimes those guys, you give him a buck, there's some guys that are fucking really cool.

When I was in San Francisco in 85, and I was fucking hustling, bustling, dog. There was his black guy's name is Pudo. That means pure. Okay. And he was a Cuban dude that coming in 79, the Mario Boatlift and all the criminals. Uh-huh.

And in 85, I lived in a tenderloin in San Francisco. I was crazy. I was fucking crazy. I used to have a suit. I used to have a bunch of suits, and I put the suits on the morning. It's a very high traffic area. I'd sit in the hotel lobbies with a San Francisco newspaper,

and I would listen to who's checking in. And I would, bro, I had a great mind for numbers. Okay. And I would see what rooms they were checking in in. And I would just see them leave the hotel, and I'd shoot up to their room and figure out of way how to break into their fucking room. You'd memorize what number they went into?

Numbers there were how many people. And there'd be thousands of people. That was my practice. That was my discipline, was numbers. Jesus Christ. A couple months ago, I lost my... phone in Jersey and I was very upset I not lost it I the power went out and I was high on a banana bread and I couldn't get a hold of George and I had to call my wife yeah in California to

get me the number to George off a phone at my house she had to stop what she was doing at a UFC party go to the house and get a phone to call me back with that number and after that I got very upset with myself I said to myself 30 years ago that would never happen because 30 years ago I used to know all my friends numbers backwards and front words Plus, I knew their license plate numbers. So if I was hiding in the weeds and I told him, like, pick me up on Woodman and Magnolia, and I was hiding the fucking weeds,

at soon as I see that driver's license number, I jump out on the street and grab them. That's how good I was. I knew all my friends. It was a practice. I didn't need to do it. I did it as a mental fucking practice, so I always had it.

So now, like, I have every number written down that's my buddies, including your nine. And I, Jesus Christ. And I said, saved all my, it's like a fucking discipline. Do you follow me? Yeah, I don't know anyone's number. I know my mom's number and that's it.

Well, fuck to that. If you lose your fucking little cell phone, you're fucked. You don't know anybody's number. I don't know my house number. And I had to learn it. Because you never fucking know. There's an earthquake. The fucking towers go down.

The Iranian shoot the fucking tower down. And here, your fucking iPhone ain't going to work. What's it going to give you? No, yeah. Who guts? So you got to learn how to get back on a fucking pay phone and call and we're not going to be able to. Oh, yeah, you can get the numbers off your fucking cell phone,

whatever. What if you're fucking. I can power die, so be prepared. That's what I'm talking about. Do you have a... I'm fucking prepared now. I've been prepared. Do you know, I have a charger and everything.

Like in a special place? Like my mom? Yeah, you have to be fucking prepared. Do you ever hurt earthquake kit, like a backpack filled with stuff? When I moved here, my mom... Refere papers, lighters, no, fucking edibles. All my mom minded was water and money.

She told me to have cash in case credit cards don't work. Yeah, you have to have a little cash hitting around. I've been telling people that for fucking years. What if they shoot the electrical systems down? How are we going to get money out of the fucking money? I have no cash ever No, you're the worst I've noticed that You walk around with fucking

You know a dollar bill in there and a dollar Jesus fucking George Watson eyes are sealed fucking tight You don't even know what the fuck's going on What else Lee? Talk to me, tell me fucking something's going on Nothing? No nothing It's interesting What? 20 something pounds the thing what?

When you were saying it being embarrassed The thing that And I said it in one of my first videos The thing that got me started on the first Juice Fest was I was embarrassed because I noticed that the drive-through people started remembering me. And even before that, I would map it out. So let's say on Tuesday I went to McDonald's,

I wouldn't go back there for a few days. So they wouldn't know. It's like people who go have multiple drug dealers. I missed the food. It's been about four fucking months, huh? Yeah, I haven't been any faster. No jack in the box. No.

I haven't. I've been good about that. But, and like I would, even like when I lived at home, when I wasn't this big, but I wouldn't order from the same delivery places too often. because I was as embarrassed about it. And you went through it too. I mean, did you do it? At that point, you didn't care, and you went to the same place?

With the cocaine, I did it. That means we were addicted to something. I had three dealers, and I didn't want them to know what I was doing. And I would have three dealers, and I would alternate. I would go see two of them every day. Okay. But two different ones. So they would go, what happened to you last night?

So I would go to El Campadre. I had De Mani, the black guy, and I had white guy, Mike, the dirty guy. And I had the Mexican on Western and Sunday. So I had four guys. So some nights I wouldn't call Mike and I'd take the car. I'd straighten up and drive to fucking sunset and Western. And the Mexican would come running down the street looking for me when he'd fall out of a fucking tree. So that was, and I didn't want everybody to know.

Some nights I started my nights at DeSleazy's house and some nights I started my nights in Elkhadre. Some nights I'd go to D. Sleazy and then get the second package from Elkampadre and go home because there were two blocks away from each other. Okay. Some nights I'd go to D. Sleazy and I'd wait for late in the night. night Mike. Late night Mike? Yeah, because I called him after midnight after two, you know, three o'clock. And then I had the black dude, Sergio Love.

I also had him. He had terrible Coke, but he front me, so you got to do what they do. And every once in a while I get over it, he'd have two tubes instead of one. I clipped the one, so I'd get double the high. That's like going to McDonald's after midnight. Their brother's always stale and fucking gross. Six years now. I haven't snored, and it's, and it's, people ask me at least once a month, do you miss it?

I tell you, yeah, I miss the one part of it, but I really don't. Yeah. I love sleeping. I love being focused on what I'm doing. Like I've said before, when you're addicted to anything, you know, food, whatever, you can't have a normal life because you're always thinking about it. Oh, yeah. Even if you had a child and a wife right now, in between driving around,

you figure out how to go get your little fix without them knowing. Do you think if you didn't have your kid, you would have gone back to it at some point? No. I'm never going back to it whatsoever. I got off to that. I don't even go in that realm. I don't even let my mind go in that realm. I got pills at the house that I looked at the other day.

I cleaned out my medicine, my medicine. When I started the ear infection back again, I fucking cleaned it out. It's amazing the shit I found. I found vikingin from the surgeries. I found vikin from the root canal one time, how I don't like those things. It's amazing how, but I'm 50. Who gives off? It's like when somebody comes up and says, I'm clean and sober.

You want me to jump up and fucking down for you because you're cleaning sober? You shouldn't have fucking started this shit in the first place? You ever get those people? It's my birthday today. I'm cleaning soap eight years. I'm supposed to tap you in the back bitch. It's even worse on like the entertainment shows or whatever. Yeah.

I wasn't supposed to start doing drugs. You know, I was looking at Iron Man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Robert Downing, Jr. Yeah. I was looking at him the other day. I'm like, man, 10 years ago, that guy was snorting up a fucking storm. Like I like to sit. I heard he still goes to meetings and I give him my heart, man.

A lot of people. And when you're at that level of the snort, that's the crazy thing. See, here's the level where you get up in the morning, and you go to work, and then you get a bump with your friends. But it grows. Your addiction always grows. Then it gets to this level

where it's a fucking freak show in your mind. It's a freak show. What do you mean by a freak show? It becomes this fucking sex-filled freak show of fucking disgust and, you know, just craziness. Now, because it's like a gun. When you have a gun, it's like having a magnet for trouble. Yeah.

When I carry the gun, I always got pulled all by people, cursing that me. give me the finger. There was always that potential for me to shoot somebody. I threw the fucking gun away. I got no problem. You know, and that cocaine, people attracted. Like, I was looking at Sissy.

You know my cat's Sissy? Yeah. The black and white. When Sissy's a fucking sweetheart. Yeah, she's cute. Let me tell you something about Sissy. When I was doing Cope, Sissy had no contact with me.

Really? Whatsoever. I have a scratch on the bottom of my arm that covers my tricep. That was Sissy when I picked her up one day. Her hind leg ripped my fucking arm. She loves you now. She's like little stoo from her stomach. Because, let me tell you something why, because that cocaine was putting something in my system.

The energy of that Coke was making that cat. She was very sensitive to it. I'm telling you. It's like bad energy. She stopped. She wouldn't even come close. She didn't, I think she was the third cat to come into the house. Yeah.

Probably 2002. We didn't fucking talk. So 2006. We lived in the same house and she would walk around me. Wow. That's how strong that cat was now. Last night there was one point, I was watching the Anderson Silver from all angles

on Spike last night when I got home just to end the fucking night. And I sat down and I had, you know, super bad on my thigh. I had fucking Harry on my legs, which they're like the McCoy's and the Hatfields. They hate each other. Yeah. And I was laying on Sissy. And I looked at her at one point and she just went,

man, like a little meow. And she went like that to kiss me. And I said to myself, if anybody saw Sissy seven years ago and me, it was like she'd walk around me. She'd fucking walk around me and give me like a look. That's how much of a girl. Sissy's out of all my females.

Sissy is the girl, girl, girl, girl, you're the house. She's never been dirty. You know, she's really dainty. Yeah. She walks light. She's always clean, always clean. You know, everything about her is shiny. She's healthy.

But, you know, she didn't fucking talk to me. she actually kisses me in the lips. If I go like that, she'll pop a ass-knit me all the time. You know, when I pick her up, she purrs up a fucking storm. Talking a witch. I got up at 4-30 in the fucking morning, right? Yeah. I got up at 4-30, and I see there's no light on the living room, right?

I see there's nothing on the living room. And I'm like, ah, my wife is out there. That means the baby walk her out, right? I look how they got the inlectables on. What is it? The interjectibles? Whatever, that Disney movie, with the guy with, the big fucking head

one of those. Oh, the Incredibles. Incredibles on, right? My wife is like awake. Like, she's not even look at her. I see a little baby, like, looking at the Incredibles, and I walk over into her swing,

and I look at her, and she got a pacify in the mountain. She sees me with her eyes, and she just goes, and my wife goes, and I can hear my wife just yell, not yell. I could just hear a voice going,

get the fuck out of there. So I went in the kitchen, like nothing happened that she came up after me. that ass pulled. She goes, that kid's been up to three in the morning that little motherfucker

won't go back to the cat. And he walked out and stand in her fucking way and she's just about to fall asleep. She saw me and she just went, yeah, like, fuck yeah. Turn on the music because usually I got the music

and she fucking my wife and I could hear like a little tone like it was like a dog whistle. Yeah. You know that little tin and like, get the fuck on it. So I knew she was torturing my fucking wife

at 430. When I was leaving at 5.30, they were passed out. She was on the swing. Oh, geez. And something was on, and my wife was passed a fuck out with Dimmie me out of her, so she can't win. She's already getting that from you, giving her. Your wife's in for some fun in a couple years with you and her. Mercy's going to be like your little...

Mercy was torching of this morning. I could see that Mercy was fucking torching of stuff. But that's really the thing. I mean, that's good that you realized, see, you had your little addiction to food. You were thinking that they would know. Oh, yeah. That was your freak. And they did know.

It's amazing how your mind works, doesn't it? Yeah. This is the beauty of addiction that you, when you quit something like that, you get so much stronger now. Now you, it's moneyball. Now you see behind what you were thinking about. When you see somebody else struggling with it, you know exactly what they're struggling with. Addiction's a motherfucker, you know, and it's so weird that, you know, you said something to me that really, you felt it. We were fucking around, and I asked you if you ate at McDonald's, and you go, you were really upset.

set for a minute, weren't you? Oh, yeah, when I do it around you. Because I know that how much you like that stuff. Oh, yeah. I know that, and listen, you're not the only one. I mean, you have nothing to feel bad about it. No, there's millions of dollars for no reason.

It could be fucking, it's amazing. How many, I went to McDonald's for breakfast yesterday. My wife. I had the egg white cheddar. Oh, is that good? It is what it is. You know, we were in a rush. Yesterday morning, the fucking baby shit everywhere,

so she couldn't make breakfast. I go, let's just go to Mickey D. You like McDonald's. My wife likes it. She likes the egg McMuffin with the hashfront. I'm not in for the hash. You just can't go six days a week. No, and I don't like the potato.

I do like the apple pie. I can eat an apple pie. Listen, dog. I can't lie to you. There's some shit motherfuckers crave every fucking day. Yeah. Okay, whether it's good or bad for you. You know, McDonald's, cigarettes, cocaine, alcohol.

These are all the things society tells you they're bad. They're fucking bad now. You know, and when you were a kid, you ate McDonald's. You know why you eat McDonald's? A, because it's, she. and B because you're on a move. America's on a move. When you've got two fucking kids

and you're living on a budget and your husband and you both work, you're on a fucking move. 15 minutes goes bad. You pick up a child at a fucking piano class. Boom, you can't cook. You're not going to make time. The thing about raising children is a schedule.

I was never put on a fucking schedule. My schedule was live. But normal fucking American kids got put on a fucking schedule. You know, I didn't take a nap until 1995. Really? I dated a stripper and she told me I'd take a nap in the afternoon It makes you stronger.

So for an hour, I would, you know, give her a stab in the afternoon. I get all fucked up, and then I take a little nap for an hour. I never nap. You're supposed to fucking take a nap. In other countries, they nap. You're supposed to put your kid down for a fucking nap. Yeah. Let's play this motherfucker out.

What's going on here today? Where's the music? Where's the reefer? It's Wednesday, cock suckers. Get out there. Do you only jumping jacks to me? No, I'll do some... I'll do some when we play the music.

All right, you gotta do a couple jump in. That should be like this. Oh shit. A little too short here. Fuck it up. It's going on and on. What? Wednesday, May 15th.

Half time. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Get up where you go for Uncle Joy, Lee. Let me see. You have a wiggle for a while. Let me see where you go. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Where you going? Smoking dope with your uncle, George. I got four more joints We got a smoke Three more Oh

Oh shit Can't hang with the big dogs Stay on the fucking porch Cocksuck suckers Blow the whistle Oh shit I'm not supposed to But I love rap

That opening scene of office space is totally me This ain't rap This is motherfucking too short I didn't even know about two short I got locked up and the brother put on two short when they and them

when you listen there's a couple of things that kill brothers all right Popeye's chicken red lobster and two short and two live

fucking crew makes fucking black people go crazy really oh what's that song Big Booty hose or whatever Big booty I don't like that shit

but I like all the other fucking stuff let me tell you something you know why why everything's going good another thing I drink a lot of water my wife got that key lips

whatever the company that puts the fucking water in your house. Every time a month, I like drinking the fucking water. These are little things you could do just to help yourself. Another thing I've told you a thousand fucking times, thousand times I've told you, go to honor.com, just check out what they got. I'm not talking about the battle ropes. I'm not talking about all that stuff.

You could run. You could do jumping jacks like Lee. You could swim. You could do a thousand things. When you're ready for the fucking kettlebells, you get the video and learn. Let's get the mechanisms going. Let's get the mental going.

You know, the alphabet. brain always fucking helps. I'm on like 19 alpha brains today. My silasters, my sinister. Synapsis. No, not synapsis. I'm not writing no paper. My cylinders. Cylenders is the word I'm looking for. Are on fire. They're tapping.

They're fucking making it happen. I think it is synapsis. It's not synapsis. What synapses? It's the brain things. Listen, don't make me stab you with this fucking smoking cigarette over here. All right, cut a second. No, my cylinders are on fire today. Try this alpha brain. I don't know if they have a sample

pack. Try some alpha brain. Do the three package. Get some new mood. That'll put you in a better fucking mood, cuck, and get yourself a little immune. See, the cold went and the colds, the flu and fucking ammonia is. I got a cold now.

I sneeze for three days and it's fucking moves on. The sleep, the water, the immune, the sport tech. Who's better than you? Let's say you got some extra dough. Let's say you and the chick broke up. Fuck it. You're looking for better of avenues. You want that sperm in good shape.

Get the hemp chocolate fucking protein. Or get some of these. My man's gonna call him. We're gonna talk about the fucking alpha brain, the new 180, and get the hem force. Check this out, least. These fucking hemp force truck and bars, the vanilla taq.

Chai. Chai, thank you, sir. All right away, you gotta be a fucking English teacher. They're tremendous. Take these motherfuckers. I eat one the other day before the plane. Usually I got to eat before you get on the plane

and I get dizzy and shit like that. Fucking ain't one beautiful. Went through security like a soldier. Are you fucking kidding me or what? Let me give you cocksucker some shoutouts today To get this party started right By the way I gotta talk to you about something like Okay

Because you know me I pick up the bag I don't pick up the fucking baby I come back home about 10 to 4 Wana leaves I have the baby I watch TV with the baby Sometimes SpongeBob

Sometimes whatever Some of the children Sometimes I watch the Incredibles Or the other movies she's got in there You know what's been on What you know what movie's been on The last two motherfucking days in the row The last three days in the row

in the afternoon. What? Man on fire. Oh, shit. I love it. And I've got to tell you something. Holy shit. People always ask me, you know, Joey, give a review of this, give a review of that. I can't talk too much about fucking man on fire. I can't, every time I watch it, I see something else and I go, what the fuck was that? Yesterday it opened up from when he put the guy at the bomb up the guy's ass. I love that scene. And he had him. That's what it opened up with. I'm sitting there with my daughter going, honey,

SpongeBob is on sabbatical. We're watching fucking Denze. She was happy as shit. She looked at me like, let's watch it. Fucking started watching that. He is so bad in that movie. Yeah. And he goes to the Puerto Rican's house.

He shoots himself. Yeah. Then from there he goes to fucking the guy's house, and he calls the guy and he shoots the guy in the arm, which is a great scene. Yeah, let me hold on one second. Bam! You know, you want your body, my life for your life.

Yeah, they were talking about that saying that John Lennon said. But, you know, that when you're honest, you won't have a lot of friends, but you'll have the friends that you fucking, need. Yeah. Let me tell you something, man. I'm watching this fucking movie.

You don't know how many people have come up to me and said, Joey, I like Man on Fire. I just don't likely trade himself in. Why not? He gave his word. Do you know what your fucking word is? It's your fucking word. Remember, and there's one scene.

I don't give a fuck what you're doing today. When you get home at 5 o'clock, you put our man on fire. You fast forward that to that last fucking scene. That last scene every year. Like when you walk into an acting class, That's the scene you should watch. That's the scene. Listen, you want to get good at acting.

You're an actor. You don't know. You want to waste your time going to see these fucking momos or the fucking failed actors in Hollywood. They did three movies and they realize it's hard work. I go teach it and they get all these saps. I'm telling you guys, you don't need this shit. This is what you fucking do.

Lesson number one. Just watch The Godfather. Watch that fucking movie over it, over and over again. Watch Marlon Brando, particular scenes. Watch the first fucking scene. What? I think my doorbell rang. Go ahead.

Keep going. Watch the first fucking scene with the camera. That could be the cops. Watch the second scene with the... With... What the fuck the name of it? The first scene, in the beginning of the fucking movie,

the second scene is when they're... When Michael gets shot or Sunny gets shot, he comes downstairs to see Duval. Watch that scene. Watch when he takes the cup. How do Vow's hair? Watch when he does all this shit. All these little scenes are what will teach you.

You'll sit there and go, what did I just watch? That's how good fucking the godfathers. Then, after you watch that movie, maybe 3,000 times, maybe 3,000 times. Then you put on Denzel Washington and man on fire, and you watch the last scene. When he calls and he says, he says, your life for the kid's life, and he thinks about it and he goes I'll be there with your brother

you know he goes yeah bring my brother but it's your life for the children's life you understand yeah he goes I understand and then he calls the wife and he tells her he doesn't know Peter might be fucking alive

then he gets there he walks up that hill with his badass Rugger League fucking sheriff from Harlem the Rugger League fucking a lot of people don't know about it now you fucking know and he walks up the thing

when they take around they cut her blindfold off that's when the party starts in his head it starts in his head you see him he puts his head down and as she runs to him he just breeds yeah he's getting an anxiety attack

this is a fucking actor living this out and you're watching this going what the fuck is Denzel doing and all of a sudden he takes her she says to him what are we going to do whatever he goes you're going home he goes what are you going to do he goes going home to blue by you

remember real happy and he goes look what I have for you and he gives the book and he's like, I figured out the last number and something happens. I forget what the conversation was, it doesn't matter.

Watch that fucking scene. Yeah. And he cuts the brother, the brother walks his little hump in his arm number because he shoots him in the fucking arm. He gets Peter, that music starts and also

an un-a-pola-la-blabra. The guy, and you're like, what the fuck? And you see him in the... No, he puts his hand up. And they show the red dot. hit the hand. That's it. They don't say a word. They just show the red dot

hitting the head. Now, this guy could have pulled the fucking string and blew himself up like a fucking Arab. But he didn't. You know why? Because he's Denzel motherfucking watch. Yeah. And a spoiler, but if you haven't seen it after 10 years, relax. If you haven't seen Matt on fire, do me a favor. Walk up to your roof and jump.

When I first saw it, I couldn't have handled it if I didn't think when he closed his eyes in the car that that was the end. I don't think they killed him. I don't think I'd be able to go on if I thought that... Well, you think they took him to a balloon party? No, I think he died when his eyes closed right at the end. I don't think he... I think that's when he died.

That's fucking beautiful. This is what I'm talking about. This is why I fucking hang out with this Jew. He's a bad... Not only is a great producer, he's a bad motherfucker. You're right. He probably died inside. Because that's what he told.

He goes, I'm going home. Yeah. And she goes home where? And he goes, Blue by you. Remember because he kept listening to that, Linda Ronstown. Fucking tremendous. Tremendous.

Here we go. Oh shit There's my little brother Joey, what's happening? What's up, buddy? Sitting here Talking about Omit Dropping some knowledge

About fucking man on fire What's going on in your world? Beautiful Oh, not too much Joey Just putting the on a product For use early in the morning Had a little business dinner last night

Had a few drinks Went out a little bit On a Tuesday night Like a boss Like you used to talk about Like a savage I'd wake up here on a Wednesday And uh

Drink the 180, a little bulletproof coffee. I'm ready to rock and roll, baby. Now you drink the 180 first, or you do the coffee and then the 180. Yep, yep. I drink the 180 first to rehydrate after the night, and then the coffee. And you mix the 180 with the water, correct? Yep, I want to be tall glass of water. That's it.

The more water you can drink comfortably in your stomach, the better it's going to be for you. because hydration is going to be a key anytime you're in any stressful situation. Like, you know, too much to drink, jet lag, anything like that, it's all very dehydrating. So the more water you can mix the width, the better off you're going to be. Now let me ask you something, Marbury.

You know, I travel every week. This is how stupid I am. You ready for this? What is the true definition of jet lag? You know, when you're flying, there's a couple things that are happening. There is no real definition. It's like a feeling of malaise that you get after flying.

Now, why do you get that? that. Well, one, you're going way up in altitude in a pressurized cabin, so that's throwing your body off a bit anyway. There's things that happening, you know, at that level, that height, basically, you're in a metal, metal can that's really close to the sun. So there's some solar radiation effects that people feel. There's just the natural dehydration from that kind of level, and then there's just the annoyance of the whole plane flight itself. But a lot of it has to do with the altitude and the pressurizing of the cabin. You know, for example, if you take a helicopter or a lower flying plane,

you're not going to feel the same effects that you will in one of those really high altitude commercial 737 jets, and a lot of it have to do with the altitude that you're at. And also breathing in the stale air, it all just kind of combines to give you that feeling that people loosely turn the jet lags. Jesus, I fucking feel like shit when I fly, especially those wrong ones. And, you know, I prepare myself. Like, in the old days, you do an eight ball, you drink, and then you get on a fucking plane, you deserve what the fuck you get.

But now it's like I'm stretching the morning before I got on a plane. I drink a lot of water the night before. While I'm on a plane, the last two years, I don't even touch water. I don't touch soda, nothing, just water. That's it, because it's just so, no, no, I'm happy that you're putting out a problem. I mean, let me tell you something from when we first had our first conversation a few years to go till now, Aubrey, you're doing some great things over that on it. Thanks, Joey. I appreciate that.

I mean, you're fucking competing now. You're ready to go. You're like, too short. You got to blow the whistle, baby. 16 albums with me on the cover? Yeah, fucking tremendous. Now, what are our new products do you have? I have the head force bars here, which I love.

I was telling Lee that I had one before. Man, before I fly. I'm always fucking starving. I don't trust the food at the airport no more, and I'm sick of the food on a plane. So from Austin, I ate the chai bar that morning, just to talk about it, just to see how I felt. You know what, man, I made it on the plane.

I had the cheese and crackers or the grapes. Wasn't that bad. But it helped me through security. My blood sugar didn't go down. So I really appreciate it. It was great. It was great. I've been eating them now in the rush in the mornings.

That was my thing. This is what I love. It's very hard to eat. be on the person on the run and to eat healthy. These things, at least you're halfway there. Yep, absolutely. Well, you know, most of the bars that you eat, they have that element in them that's that real kind of chalky protein powder kind

of taste and feel. And, you know, we wanted to ditch that. We've been talking with Mike Colchay, of course. I know he's a good friend of years as well. And really, the key for us is to put as much actual food in a bar like that as we can. So you look, go down the ingredients, and it's a good friend of yours. and it's a lot of nuts, grains, you know, hemp proteins, things that are really, you know, hemp seeds, things that are really actual foods.

So, and you just kind of mash them together and push them into a bar, and you're actually eating what feels to the body like food and what, you know, absorbs into your system like a food rather than a, you know, supplement of sorts, you know, a protein supplement. it's actually like a small snack slash meal. And you feel the difference when you're doing it that way versus trying to, you know, pack 38 grams of weight protein and a giant curd-looking log bar, you know,

which is what most of the bars that are out are like. You know, I do say they have a lot of sugar and whatnot. And I've never really been, you know, 20 years ago, what was the big brand? They're still around in front of the peanut butter chocolate. The power bar, yeah, they were around 20 years ago. And you look, you know, you know that your body, when you're trying to build muscle and you're trying to assimilate, you know, your body only assimulates 30 grams of protein per meal.

So you want to, you know, really get up there. And you look at it, it's got seven grams of protein in it. You're like, what the fuck is this? I took this out like 15. Now you can get bars with, you know, 92 grams of protein in it. But what good is, you know, what good, it's all sugar anyway. It's not going to do you any good. No good at all.

No good at all. No, no. So the power bars are just loaded with sugar, and, you know, that's not going to really do your body any good, especially the type of sugar that they're using. They're not using any kind of earth-grown nutrient sugar. It's a lot of processed crap that you're going to find in those. And then the same thing, you know, like you said, those double iron, eagle stack 90-gram protein bars, you know, all of that is just bottom of the barrel, way protein. You know, and weight protein has its place. It's really difficult to digest. for most people, though. And it's just your body's not going to do anything with all that protein. You know, better to get, you know, 10 to 15 grams of really solid, usable protein with a very absorbable, you know, nature like we have in the hemp, then just try and stack your body with as much protein as possible. I mean, I think Dolce is really proven with his athletes that, you know,

the way to do it is to do it as nature intended. you know, eat your protein like you would. I mean, there's no way other than killing, you know, a buffalo and eating their heart fresh as it's still beating, and you're going to get, you know, 40 grams of protein in a single serving. It's just not the way our body is designed to eat food. I remember years ago there were these two bodybuilders called a barbarian brothers.

You're too young for them. They claimed the fame was, I mean, these guys were all roared it out, but they claimed the fame is that they both ate, 36 eggs a fucking day. Who the fuck eats 36 eggs a day? I can't even smell you. Yeah, yeah. The reason...

You wouldn't want to be going to sleep in bed without them. No. It had to be savage. Savage. Do you remember who they were? Do you remember who they were at all? No, they were like in... They did a few movies, you know, Hollywood. I mean, they were twins. And they were all roided up. You know, America didn't know about fucking Decatur

Rabolin back in the 80s like this. These two these two motherfuckers are going to Mexico on a daily and sneaking them an eggs or some shit. I got a, the reason why I called you, Arby, a lot of people were very excited about the 180. I am too, honestly. You know, I mean, really, I used to, when people

used to ask me, hey, Aubrey, what should I do for a hangover? What should I do for jet lag? I said, well, here's the recipe. You're going to want two alpha brain, three shrimp tech, you know, if it was a guy, two alpha brain, three shrimp tech, one new mood and one shrimp tech immune. You're going to take those.

with a tall grass of water. And so that was my recipe. But, you know, not everybody has that, and it's kind of annoying to kind of piece all those out, and it's a lot of pills to take right off the bat when you already feel like shit anyways. So what I wanted to do was put that all in a drink mix to make it super simple, you know,

because each one of those elements have important things. The alpha brain's going to help support your neurotransmitters. The shroom tech sport has the adaptogen. Adaptogens are key because they help your body adapt the stress. So like the Siberian ginseng, the rodeola, you know, alpha-opold. acid, these different things, as well as being natural free radicals themselves. So that's an important part of the Shroom Tech.

And then the new mood, you want to kick up your 5-HDP because you probably didn't sleep great. You know, you're probably a little on edge as far as the mood. Then you want to get from the Shroom Tech immune. You want to get some zinc and some of the other minerals that we have in there, as well as some broad spectrum vitamin Bs and Ds and magnesium. And then I added a few other key things as well, some. and bicarminate, which is good to rehydrate the muscles, and then potassium iodide,

which protects your thyroid, particularly from solar radiation like you might get on a flight, but just generally healthy for your thyroid and providing you with potassium, which you need anyways. And then a couple other key antioxidants like great seed extracts and blood sugar regulators. And, you know, put it all together so that it's just a master concoction. is the cocktail, so to speak, that I would recommend for that purpose. And, you know, certainly I used to have more practice with it in my younger days, but still every now and then I'm able to put my formula to use like today. And honestly, it makes a huge difference, whether I'm flying and I'm going to take one,

you know, kind of before I fly and after I fly, and, you know, I would never know that I even hopped on a plane or like this morning where the turnaround from when I first woke up and went, oh, shit. What did I do last night? That was crazy. And then to feeling like now, you know, a full 180 in and a bulletproof coffee, I'm feeling pretty good. It's not perfect. It's not magic.

But it's going to get you the best advantage that you can get. I get so many positive feedback stuff on audit products. From the strong bone to the hemp protein, you know, people email me. I answer anywhere from 80 to 125 emails every Sunday. And, you know, I got to get 10 to 15, you know, emails of people thanking me or the strong bone or they ask me the questions I asked you, you know. My knee hurts. I need surgery. If I take strong bone, well, do I still need the surgery?

Shit like that, you know, and another reason why I want to talk to you is because it's 2013. You know, the success of the UFC part of it is that we know who Dana White is. When I drink a Coca-Cola, I don't know who fucking Mr. Coca-Cola is. When I go to Adidas, I never met Johnny fucking Adidas. Have you? It's 2013, and I've always told, you know, Arby, when I go into, you don't know how many times I go into a vitamin store, a GNC or something. I go in there, and Aubrey, you know me from the beginning.

I go in there with $4,500, $500 looking to get healthy, and not one fucking person comes up to me, or not one person is fucking knowledgeable. And I don't blame them, because that company's probably paying them three fucking dollars an hour. I wouldn't read a fucking brochure either. But at the same time, you know, when I talk to you, you're very knowledgeable about this stuff. And I've always told people in the future, you want your business to succeed.

It's all going to be through customer service because we all pretty much, I make you laugh. And so is the other comedian. If I answer your emails, if I sell products, you know, and this is with you, I've always asked you questions and you've been right there for me. You're the president of this. You're the CEO. You're out there. You're trying new things. You know, when we talk,

you talk to me about the jungles of fucking Saigon and Bolivia. You've gone to the hell of the world to get products. What's in the future for Amit? What do you see? Yeah, Joe, you know, I mean, this is, you know, really this, I appreciate everything you're saying. And for me, it's the easiest thing in the world because I fucking love it, man.

I mean, I'm really just living the absolute dream of my life. You know, everything that I've seen for myself, I didn't necessarily know exactly how this would be. manifest, but I would stay awake, you know, night after night, knowing that this is what was missing. This is what I wanted for my life. And finally, I was able to visualize it and put it in the practice. So, you know, doing all these things that you mentioned, talking to a customer, talking to you, it's just a dream for me. You know, I really could not be a happier human being. And, you know, when you're that happy about what you do, you know, there is no separation between, oh, I got to work or, you know,

I'm spending so much time working. The whole thing is just living my life to the best and doing exactly what I would want to do. So that's what makes it so easy and such a powerful thing. And I'm really just trying to find the best shit that I can, and I'm going to continue to keep doing that, experimenting with as much stuff as possible

and trying to improve on every single thing that's out there in the market. I mean, I think on its philosophy is, we went out initially, and partnered with some other key brands like Vega and Nordic Naturals and some other exemplary companies who are doing things really well. But because we couldn't figure out exactly how to do things better. But now we're starting to get even better, and I'm finding new kind of key ingredients.

I got a new Hempfors vanilla prototype that I just got in. That was a tough one, right? Because the Hempfors chocolate is so delicious. I have a big standard to live by, and I found a really kind of exotic ingredient out of South America that will, you know, act as the cocoa does in the chocolate formula. And so, you know, found that kind of magic bullet. And then in the, we're making a new green powder because the green powder, you know, green vibrance is great. But it kind of tastes like horse stables and like you're chewing on an alfalfa log.

It's a little tough that tastes and tough. take, but you know, you need those extra green. So I was trying to figure out how I could make one that had all the nutrients, but still had a taste that was reasonable. I found another ingredient. You know, I won't probably talk about my secret ingredients, but it's all about just really hammering and finding every different source you can. You know, I go to all these shows and there'll be a whole table of different new ingredients, new foods, new different things that come out, and I'll just pick up samples and try it and be my own, look, scientist and try and figure that out.

And then, you know, on the supplement side, it's a lot about the current research, you know, what research is coming out, what new extracts or plant extracts are available. And just trying to stay on the cutting edge and meet as many needs as possible. And, you know, like we say, you know, we're all about total human optimization, trying to make everybody give them the tools to live an optimal life, to beat it's healthy, as strong. as sharp as they possibly can. And, you know, that's never going to stop.

You know, I'm getting sharper and sharper from these alpha brains. You know me, Doug. I took two alpha brains. I smoke a joint. I'm ready for the fucking day, Jack. I know. You ready to eat some pussy. Alpha brain will focus your shit, motherfuckers.

You'll be eating pussy. I'm telling you. Tell these motherfuckers. Arby, I love you with all my heart, and I'm proud of you for what you've done. I mean, you know, when I went down to your offices and you took me down there, I found that you were a hoop player, and you went to Virginia.

I mean, you're the fucking real deal, man. You blow my fucking mind. I had a son. I'd want him to be you, you bad, motherfucker. That's it. I'm just happy you call. You made my morning this morning. And I hope these guys, anywhere they can email you or find you or anything.

All my social media is a great way to get in touch to me. Twitter at Warrior Poet U.S. I got a Facebook page, Facebook.com, slash Warrior Poet. U.S. That's really the best way to get a hold of me personally. But, you know, any question you have about on it, we've got an awesome in-house customer service team. This is not some outsourcing to some random place where nobody gives a shit.

You know, every person on a customer service team is an awesome human being. So any questions you have about on it, just feel comfortable asking them. And then if you want to get a hold of me, yeah, at warrior poet us or facebook.com slash warrior poet U.S. And I will get you back personally. And let's get this on it fucking cruise ship going pretty soon So we can all eat out for brains And sail somewhere on a fucking cruise ship

You know what I'm saying? Hell yeah Yeah, let's do it I've been talking to Joe about that We definitely want to talk about it One floor is the fucking the ball And don't forget about that thing we talked about The sketch, keep me posted

I will absolutely Joe Look forward to it All right, I love you man Thank you have a great day From the bottom of my heart man Bye bye Bye bye This is it Lee

You got no fucking You're fucking excuses no more, cocksucker. You don't. I want you taking an alphabet. Let me tell you some. You pop 19 of these alpha brains. I won't be able to take you out of that pool. You'll be fucking aquaman.

Let me give some shout-outs to this motherfucker. I hope you people learn something. First of all, our first fucking sponsor is a little fighter by the name of Adrian Moore out of Colorado. I'm going to send him some honest stuff. I'm going to sponsor me. He's going to have the church of what's happened now in this fucking short. Oh, cool. So you're making progress in your life.

We got Steve Farb. We got Zach D. No, Millie. cocksucker. We got Kamen, I got her, we got Jason Rothman, Mr. Piper, and Mikey Joseph O'Connor. I love you, motherfuckers. That's right.

Go to Onnet.com, pressing church in the box, take a look at the fucking hemp bar, the protein bar. Make sure you get this 180. I tell you what, I'm taking this fucking, I got a six-hour flight back and forth, 12 hours in a plane. You bet your ass. I'll be taking three of those.

I'll be taking a Dolores Brownie. I'll be getting geared up for fucking six-hour flight and business class I hope I get bumped up Lee I put it for an upgrade I gotta get a bump up They're gonna start passing your picture around American Airlines Fuck them I'm not even flying on America

In fact I'm supposed to check in in five fucking minutes Lee you gotta check me in You gotta figure out how to do it So I can get my shit That's right I want to give a shout out to debt squatters All over the motherfucking country Putting it together You know and that's it

That's all I got for you motherfuckers Where are you this weekend Where am I'm the governor's in Belmont New York on Friday and I'm in Long Island on Saturday every time. Oh, that's cool. You know I don't fuck around and then next week, the 29, not next week we're at the Ice House for a live fucking podcast

but on the 28, Testicle Testament 5 comes out, pre-order that motherfucker today, bitches. Boom. I got another call coming in. Did I tell you about that? Yeah. I got my man Steve Marco from American Top Team calling in today. We're going to give you guys a fun-filled out with you. You're saying no fucking Michael Jackson

and this is not driller, bitches. I've got to take these glasses off. I got to go to dentist today. They're going to clean my teeth, fill up the gaveled cavities, fill up the fucking sides where it's exposed. My teeth are fucking purple. Yeah, so they're going to clean my teeth. I got to go get a shot today.

Got to get my driver's license today. You're getting a driver's license? Yeah, I got to go get a duplicate. I lost money. I got to go to Hollywood. Two fucking 45. Jesus. Why go to Hollywood?

Because they couldn't get an appointment for me in Glendale. Oh, you did the appointment? You did the appointment? Okay, that's good. Who do you fucking, I mean, who the fuck do you think you're dealing with some novice? You ever walk into Hollywood just off the tip of your head? Like, you were driving and go, oh, I got to go into Hollywood. I got to get something.

That is the jungle of drive. Let me drive. What's the name of the place? The DMV. They're always a fucking nightmare. And there's never a drug dealer that selling coke. That's where you make a fucking living selling coke of the fucking drug dealer. Yeah, no, and it takes it to a couple weeks, but I love it.

I went in and you get out in two minutes. Yeah, that's it. I'm going to go to Glenda, but Glenda don't have an appointment, so my wife thought I wanted to make an appointment before the flight. I don't want to make, I got my ID I'm ready to fucking go. Oh shit. Oh shit. You could try using your weed ID at TSA. I gave it to him in Burbank by mistake the other day. You see, you motherfuckers, don't think I'm lying here.

I'm not lying to it because by mistake, there's what happened. I put my weed thing in the middle with my license. So when I pull it out, you see how it comes out together? That's my weed license. So the one day it was in this. In Burbank, thank God it was Burbank And the guy had a sense of humor And I gave him

He's in the physician's statement He's like, what the fuck? Organic for Verificate. He goes, what's this? I go, I don't know office. Just take the fucking license to keep looking. Mind your goddamn fuck.

I'm so stoned. I have no idea what I'm handling you. I'm telling you. When I fly, I get fucking baked to the gazills. Not before because I feel bad. I'm all my mind. I get baked before I take a shit. That's the point in my life on that.

It's disgusting. And the times when you're, not baked, you're still a little baked. But you know what's crazy? I don't get like there's days. I won't get baked all fucking day. Not even a little bit? Like I'll get baked in the morning. Like, no, I'll get baked in the morning with you. But I'll go home now and I got the kid. I can't get baked.

I don't want to be higher on my fucking child. Yeah, I was thinking that. You don't do that around her at all. No, no, no, no, no. I won't put him in the car either if I'm high. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm by the book. I got that. In fact, I listened to this right? Yesterday, my wife said Defani is fucking thing. What did you say? I'm sitting there

I'm trying to watch Diane Sore, you know me, though You love Diane Sore I just watch it I don't master me I just watch it She's a cute little fucking haircut I'm sitting there And my wife

says something to me about What the fuck is this today? My wife says something to me about That She goes, you know Next week Since you're home We gotta clean the room

I go My bedroom No no no problem I got to really fucking clean out I go, have you smelled in there lately? I go between the cat piss, the fucking feet. It smells like sweat. It smells like feet.

It smells like sleep apnea. And she goes, and pot. She doesn't call it marijuana. She says it smells like pot in there. I go, what do you mean pot? She goes, from now on, you got to smoke outside. I go, I do smoke outside. She goes, yeah, I walked in there yesterday.

And sometimes I forget I just take like a head off a fucking joint and I realize what I'm doing. You know, I can't keep getting on in the fucking in the bedroom. She gets pissed. She goes, and pot, that was the funniest fucking thing I had heard. I kept laughing right in the fucking face. Pot. It smells like pot, man.

Oh, dude. It smells like fucking pot, man. Smells like fucking good shit. You know what are you going to do? You know, people always, listen, I don't do anything else. It's not like, when people ask me like this kid who came this weekend. He kept asking me in the phone like, what do you do up there? What do you do up there? What do you do up there?

I get a huh. I'm an only child. I'm a fucking comedian. I love living in my fucking head. I get high. I want to beat every... I'm trying to write. Every day I've got to write something and I can't come up with what the fucking right. I'm trying to... And I do my best work when I'm stony edible. You know when I call

you and talk about the farts in the face? And I can tell because usually you're lively. Sometimes like especially at night you'll call me like, what's up, dog? It's like you're an NPR host You're just really quiet Yeah I love it

Six-30 with my eyeballs Are spinning like one of those machines At Las Vegas I fucking love it Now you've been to Utah No I've been to Utah to ski Like 20 fucking years ago

30 years ago I didn't talk to nobody then You know I gotta go to West Wise guys and Salt Lake City I don't know what the fuck to expect I heard that I mean other comedians

I said it's cool That's cool that Off it everybody Felipe Everybody says is cool As fucking shit How are they with weed, though? I can't bring no fucking weed to Utah.

Yeah. But I guarantee that there's a lot of non-Mormons in Utah, right? Yeah, probably. I heard Mormons are cool people. Like, the thing I've noticed is some of those people, they can be pushy, but a lot of the religious people are, like, nice and cool. But if you get them talking about the weird stuff, then it gets weird. But I've heard the Mormons are really nice.

You ever meet one? I don't think so. See, you know, when you do triple runs, when you do these roads and, Idaho and Montana. There's little hotels that you really can't curse because they're Mormons. Okay. So I think I met them, you know, I don't know if they have 19 wives and all that shit. I really don't know what it means.

I know there's a show now where they're opening up on biography, one of those, discovery. And I meant to watch it. You know, I read up on it a while ago, but I didn't really get the whole fucking thing. I know it's Brigham Young. And Steve, he's not a bad fucking guy, I guess, if you really got to think about it. Yeah, no. Are you raising your daughter really? at all?

Well, here's the fucking deal. The deal is plain and simple. I'm getting a baptized, because you need to do that so if she dies, she don't go to fucking limbo. After that, it's on her. My wife is part of religion.

I'm part of religion. Listen, when it comes to religion, there's two things you don't really want to talk about sometimes of religion and politics. Yeah. I just told you, you know, I was fucking raised.

You know, when I came to this country, when I was Catholic, you know, I was raised Catholic. I was really raised Catholic because of the punishing, the Catholic schools and everything and it stuck with me and it's helped me and it helped

molded me could I live without it? Yeah, I had no belief for it after my mother died I believed in no religion I believed in religion was you know being a fucking bad person I didn't know

now I have a different way of religion I feel that it's like a it's like an outline you don't really need it but you need it you know and this is just me talking here I don't want people fucking hate me for this or whatever this is what works for me

you know I don't also get hot. Oh, we're going to finish the fucking morning. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. It's my little brother, Steve Mocko. How are you, sir? How's it going?

How's it going with you? Good, good. How's Florida treating you? Good. How's a Jersey boy adjusting to Florida? I'm adjusting to, dude. How long have you been down there for, Steve? And do you miss Jersey at all?

Yeah, yeah, man. I, you know, I miss. Jersey. You know, I wasn't living in Pennsylvania, so I was dumb. But, yeah, no, I miss it. It's good down here, enough. You like it? You can deal with the humidity of the Puerto Ricans? Yeah. Well, you grew up around all those fucking spicks, so you're used to it and shit, so you're all right. Yeah.

Steve Michael, let me tell you some. I was looking at your pictures online, and there's only one way to fucking describe you. You're a savage. I talk about being a savage, but you're the last of a real fucking savage. You look like something on Game of Fame. thrones, stabbing people and shit. I love you the death. You know, it's funny, Steve Marco, a great, great friend of mine told me about you 15 years ago. His name was

Darren Rago. Do you remember him at all? Do you remember the name? What's the name? His name was Darren Rago. Yeah, I mean, it sounds familiar. Yeah, yeah, he was a North Bergen wrestler, and we went out to breakfast, and he said, do you know who's a badass motherfucker? Stevie Mocko, and I'm like, what are you talking about?

And I remember when you were born, I was around the area and they were talking. And I'm like, he's wrestling. He's, how old is he? And he was telling me about you. And then years later, he died. That's, he was a wrestler from North Bergen that was pretty bad ass. He was friends with Crowley and the two Pascrow brothers and all those guys,

De Lorenzo, and he died. So he was the first person that turned me on about you. And then I thought about you from time to time, and I didn't know. And then I bumped into a guy, King Moe. Yeah. And then I spoke to you. the King Moe about you and he was telling me yeah he might and then I started

following you for the Olympics and you just made me proud and when you walked into the West Palm Beach Improb that night I nearly shit my pants Steve you know that right yeah man that was awesome that was a good show and everything it was good surprise seeing you got there you know

but it was funny because I was talking about our area up there I didn't know you were in the audience I just knew that there's a lot of North Bergen people in that area there's a lot of people from northern New Jersey in that area so I just wanted to make I'm feeling home, and I was talking about taking my dick out at the fucking white, not white castle, but at the Dunkin' Donuts there, Nung guesses, you know, little dung guesses there, and you came up to me after

when I'm like, I'm from North Britain, you're telling your wife, I told you, I told you he was from where I was from. So it was, how's it going down there? You fought last, two weeks ago, May 3rd, right? Yeah, yeah, May 3rd, I fought. It was good. It was in Davenport. So you're 3 and 0 now in MMA?

2 and 0. Jesus Christ and both submissions Yeah, yeah So your jihitsu is on But you're known for your foot sweep Yeah You're a fucking savage It's funny because I like to read your thing

And talk about it with you But all I can talk to you about is just looking at you I can tell where you're from I can tell you from North Bergen For a lot of people don't know Steve Michaels originally from North Bergen Where'd you go to high school at? I went to St. Patrick's

It's in New Jersey, it's up in the mountains over there. And you were everything in New Jersey. You were Mr. Fulchre in New Jersey. Yeah, I've wrestled. I never wrestled in the States. I always wrestled in the States because Blair was in the press. But you had an outstanding record in high school, and then you went over and you went to Iowa first.

Yeah, I went to Iowa for two years. Wrestled for Jimmy Zuleski, and then I transferred to Oklahoma State after the Olympic year in 2004. Jesus, and they all thought you were going to go to Lehigh or something. Yeah, yeah I was looking at Lehigh But I wound up going Oklahoma State And you said fuck it

I'm going to stay right here in the big eight And fuck you motherfuckers up Show you who the bosses Yeah Yeah You know I wanted to coach it at Lehigh after college I mean it's a good It's a good school and everything

But you know I wanted to go to It's similar to Iowa I thought at the time You know what I mean You know I went to Colorado Yeah Yeah no

I uh I heard that I look at your doctor documentary. Okay, look at you. You're a good man. Thank you, brother. It was real nice, man. It looked good the way you made, North Bergen, look, your family, you know what I mean? It was awesome. Did you see one of your closest buddies in that, Carmine Balzano? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've seen it, yeah, that's cool. It's amazing that, you know, like I said, I grew up when your uncle was the mayor and he was

very, very good to me. I never, never forgot, you know, your family. But I knew him all through Carmine. That's how I met him all through, you know, I was part of the family down there. I mean, I was the first Cuban allowed in that house. Yeah. And your family was very good. And I never forgot him. You know, and your uncle was just a savage up there in his little house on Kennedy Boulevard. I look like the monsters.

That house is still there. How come we don't buy it, Steve? We got to buy that motherfucker and take it back. That's a nice place, right? Remember the one with the gates in front, with the leaves? Yeah, I know. Right by Town Hall. Yeah, yeah.

But I heard they moved Town Hall now. Oh, they did? That's what I heard. Yeah. You know, I go back home now, Steve, and I go to Chans Dragon Inn, I go to Rudy's and Clipside, and I get the fuck out of that pretty much. It's an avenue, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, with the fry calamar, the squid, that's my life.

Yeah. I can't eat it out here, so I go to Rudy's and I go fucking crazy. And what do you think? When is your next fight? August 16th. And where are you fighting that? Okay, so we'll probably go out. I'm going to send fucking Lee out there to flying Jew to go out there.

with a shirt that says Steve Marco fuck this motherfucker up and then how many more fights do you think before you see the octagon you think? You know, right now I'm working on getting better you know, I'm taking a fight, but I'm improving my game when the time comes, the time comes, you know?

Good for you, man, and you're down there in a good camp with some great people. Yeah, yeah, ATT is great, man. My coaches are real good. Coach Lebo has been helping me a lot and you got your boy who's fighting next week down there you got Diago Alves

who's fighting who's fighting oh he's fighting Matt Brown that's a great fight yeah so yeah you guys will be busy down there yeah big foot's fighting next weekend in Vegas for the title against the last place are you coming up yeah yeah I'll be there for that

okay I'll definitely see you I'm coming up Saturday for the fight for sure I got to worry I love going to the way in because that's where you see the whole thing go down but at the best you can't do both so I'm going to go on for to fight. So I'll be looking forward to seeing you. Mike Dolce will be there, so we'll make a little

jersey reunion. Yeah, man, that's good. We'll get some pizza somewhere. Listen, brother, thank you very much for calling. I got to tell you something. You make a lot of people very proud, and me, one of them, because where we came from, we didn't have much like that, and you were Savage. Yeah, I appreciate it, man.

Thank you very much for calling me on the show. Thank you, brother, for calling, Steve. Have a great weekend. Give you a wife a hug. I will. Thanks, you got it, brother. Yeah, this fucking kid, you have to go on Yahoo or Google and look at his pictures. I'll look right now. Wrestling with a black fucking eye.

One eye is purple. Just amazing. And I know the kid's story. Holy shit. Yeah. He looks like a fucking wild man. He looks like an American gladiator. Yeah.

No, no, no, no, no. And he's not, you know, a muscle guy. He's not, and I got to tell you something, he's the spitting fucking image of his father. Joe Marco. Really? Spitting image. That's a huge black eye. It's the first one that comes up and it's Steve and it's M-A-C-O or, oh, no, it's M-O-C-O, sorry.

And it's like half of his side of his face is like black. That's fucking crazy. It's a tough kid and it's amazing how. Oh, he's a big guy. I could never be a fighter. I'm a fucking pussy. I get hit in the fucking head. I see blood.

I'm going to faint even if I'm winning. but when I look at his wrestling pictures I think a lot of my life look at his face when he's I think of my life because you know I don't have much it's not like I'm a good looking guy in comedy I'm no Anthony Jeslnick you know I'm not a witty guy or nothing

but I've worked hard you could tell the work in my fucking face and I see that you know you can't stop this kid you don't have to put a fucking bullet in his fucking head to stop him gotta put a bullet in his fucking head for some reason I imagine him as like a lighter guy

but now this guy's probably like light heavyweight or something. Yeah, yeah, he's a heavyweight. He's going to be a heavyweight. You know, they brought him in to mimic Kane Velasquez for Bigfoot. Okay. So, you know, that stockiness is there. And I'm really proud of fucking kid went to the Olympics. Whether he lost, whether it doesn't fucking matter.

Doesn't fucking matter. Yeah, when you get there. You think this is what I wanted to fucking do, do a fucking podcast in the morning with some fucking Jew in the morning to hang out? No, you know, our dream. And, you know, when you watch a lot of sports, Yeah. My fucking dream was to play for a national championship basketball team on NBC

and go to the fucking final four and hopefully play in the Olympics and represent your fucking country and do something good. You know, when you win a fucking, whatever, national championship, your fucking life is made for you. Yeah. You want a national fucking, even if you lose in the national championship game, you still were there. They can't take that away from you. You know what I'm saying? I mean, and I feel bad at times that my life. went in different directions, but that's what I want.

I gave up, you know? I love fucking basketball. So when I see these kids living their fucking dream, my dick gets fucking hard. That's the way to do it. If you're going to do it, I mean, I don't want my daughter to be, whatever, I don't give a fuck what they are, as long as they're happy.

But it's real funny. We had two different people on today. And the honor, Aubrey. Yeah. I tell you what I like about Aubrey. This guy, you know, people always say I'm happy in what I do. Yeah, we all try to be happy and want to do.

But while we fucking get there, we have jobs that fucking suck. And we have different parts of your life that they fucking suck. Trust me, I slept on a lot of fucking cars and a lot of bullshit. They suck. But you look at them now and you laugh. That's what makes you who the fuck you are.

And you're going to suffer. You're going to suffer along the way. If you have a goal or if you want something so fucking bad, I just want a peace. I didn't want to be a fucking star or a TV show. I just want a peace. And to be able to pay my fucking bills. And now I'm part of a union.

I'm going to get a pension. You know, but it wasn't always like this. So just hang the fucking there. You know, you may be doing a shitty fucking job today. But you know what's going to make you smile when you're like, you know what? In two fucking years, I won't be doing this no more. I'm going to take some fucking alphabrains.

I'm going to smoke some dope. And I'm going to write the best fucking song ever. You know, I'm going to do this. So I'm going to do that. Or I'm going to, you know, become a fucking professional cock sucker. Whatever the fuck you want to become, you could do it. And then probably you're in a bad position today. But that's just today.

You suck it up for fucking eight hours. You dig the trench. You deal with these fucking idiots, but in the back of your mind, you have your fucking dream. And that's what keeps you alive to go to the next day and the next day, and write the fucking date down in your notebook. Write the fucking date down that this ends. This is not going to happen no more after this fucking date.

I'm going to be living my fucking dream. It's 18 months away. It's a year away. Get up. Grab your fucking cock or your pussy. Smell your fingers and go, Jesus, fucking Christ. I got to get my life together and shit. It's Wednesday to 15th of May,

and I'm fucking around listen to some fat buck and his juice I kick on a fucking podcast I gotta get out there and do my shit and smoke some dope I want to thank fucking

I'm gonna thank my man Steve Mock on America's Top team Top team I'm sorry I had something by I think I spit my own fucking eye I gotta go to the doctor I gotta talk to the dentist

to make me stop spitting I'm spitting too fucking much man people sit in the front row of my shows they gotta come with a fucking wet suit on You're a great self-promoter I don't know why the fuck you're listening to us That's right, what the fuck? Go get something, go do something with your fucking life, you fucking maggots.

People love it when you insult them. Like on Twitter, it's like, yeah. I'm not insulting nobody. Where's the fucking truth? You're sitting there listening to two fat fucks. Was that you fart? No. You're listening to two fat fucks.

You should be out of doing, did you do any jumping jacks? No. Let me see you're doing a jumping jacks. Cut the shit. You're always putting this shit off. I'll be like, you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm putting it off. I don't know what you doing.

I did them already. Yes, I do it right now. I'll blow my nose. Blow your nose. It always knows. The smell of fruit. Wherever you go. How many?

Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. The fucking neighbors. I said three, four, relax. Me, the neighbors. You're fucking yelling pot-tucker and fuck. Right now the chandelier, the poor Jews downstairs. The black couple. Don't worry about it.

Are they nice people? Yeah. You talk to them around? You told me you're a sack of shit. Why would I tell them I'm a sack of shit? I don't know. I'm like, listen, I'm a sack of shit. I'm trying to put in Ashley's asshole.

That's what happens. Where's Rosie? I love you, Rosie. He's been thinking about you and shit lately. He says he wants Rosie back. You got to get rid of that fucking boyfriend. Then he'll come back to Boston and give you some real dick. Can't tell you nothing.

This reefer is fucking tremendous things. Eat some oatmeal. Do something with your livestock sucker. That's it. That's all I got to tell you guys. We got on it.com, go to the box, order some products, whether it's the 180, the hemp forest, the hemp forest protein. Do something nice for yourself today. Be a better friend to yourself. All the people that watch, I want to love you.

What you smell in the box for like a freak? I'm showing it. You were supposed to be sniffing, or Ashley's underwear. You never sniffed on underwear when she lived here? No, I don't sniff people's underwear. Jesus. Tell me the truth. When she wasn't here, did you get up at night and sniff her underwear and bag one out?

like the dirty ones. You never bangling out. Do you know that this computer has like 8 million videos? It's not in 1974 anymore. I don't have to sniff somebody's underwear. So gives a fuck. But you don't want to be with them.

You want to be with Ashley. You never took one. Tell me the truth. Well, those crusty underwear she wore all day. No. Scratching a little monkey and you sniff them. You put a little sniff to them and you bang one out. Tell me that you're a family.

I know you did. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. You're a nasty. And then you smell the ass. Solitian, you never do that. You filthy fuck? Huh?

I don't know that is... Who sniffs underwear now? That's 2013. Why not? It's part of the whole patois. You never sniffed an underwear and whacked one out? No. What kind of freak are you? Apparently, I don't know.

Fucking not a freak. This is what I'm talking about. This is why the fucking girl shows up in Bruce Lee as a sidekick. It's chaos. Because you never sniffed her underwear. I don't think people want... Like other people sniffing their underwear. Did you ever see them laying around?

No. You didn't think about sniffing her underwear? No. Never when you were here alone. I should sniff Ashley's underway and bang one out? No. Maybe come on the underwear and rub it in and like fucking stain. What's like stain removal?

You rub it in and hopefully she'll get pregnant by mistake through the washing machine. This should be the weed commercials. Instead of the girl melting into the couch, it's after you smoke six joints and have an edible. You fucking... I didn't have... Why? You got to throw them? didn't have no fucking edibles. The cops pulled me over.

They're going to say, you had a fucking edible. I had no fucking edibles. What we got to do is this. It's over today. It's Wednesday. It's May 15th. I love you, motherfuckers. Don't forget, on it.com. Don't forget, this weekend. Belmore, New York, Friday night. Tickets online. Governor's Saturday.

Don't forget, 529. The motherfuckerice Ice House. Live show. Me, Lee, Syatt. $10 tickets. 626-577, 1894, and 528. fucking around Lee, that Tuesday is Testicle Testaments. Five comes out the last one of the series. We're putting all five of them together.

We're going to tour the live show with a fucking podcast. And at the end, some chicks fart in Lee's fucking face. Tickets are going to be like $82 fucking dollars, because we've got to pay $75 to the chick to fart in this fucking face. And that's it. I love you people from the bottom of my fucking heart. Lee loves you. Thank you for listening.

Thank you supporting. You want tour dates. You want T-shirt. You go to Joey Coco. Joey Diaz.net. JR, my main man, the black dude with the big dick will be taking care of you down in Arizona.

I love that black motherfucker with all my heart. He's a business, genius. And that's it, cuck, suckers. Lee, you got anything to say? No, I'm just coming to the live podcast. That's it. No, I love you. No thank you for fucking being here.

I do love you. Listen. I do love you, and I'm doing the juice videos, so watch those if you want. How many pounds? Like 22, I think. What are you down to? What am I down to?

Yeah. Like 240? And you're down to, you're not going to stop to you're down at one in a quarter. One and a quarter. A fucking head and a Jew skeleton on here where you're a little heart beating with the fucking Hana, Kahina, Hana.

One and a quarter. I want to get to $1.50, that's my goal. $150, all right, I love you. Keep doing jumping, jacks, keep swimming, stay black, where's the music? We haven't done it yet. Well, put the fucking thing on. How are you going to say goodbye if you haven't...

What do you need a fancy suit for, Charlie? You got no truck and job to wear it to, you know what I'm saying? Just in case you don't know what type of attitude you need it to leave the fucking house. house today. Here it is. It belongs to you. Go out there and get what belongs to you. Listen to this motherfucker. This is John Osborne when he was dirty. He had green teeth. He was living in an apartment with four guys. One of him was Tony Iommi. Frank Tony I only for you motherfuckers that know what you know. Here you go. This is 1969. They came out as earth, but they said,

fuck it. We're going to change our name to Black Sabbath. They were Earth because there were four elements, but they said, fuck it. This is the second album. First one came on 69, this one came out in 70 but I don't know when it was made. Don't fucking matter. Here you go. Listen to the fuck. This is

the real deal, people. So before you listen to Chris Brown and fucking jocobal and I am fucking whatever, I am fucking... Here we go. Are you fucking kidding me? Just like witches at black Are you fucking kidding me?

First time I heard this, it had to be about 10. I almost stabbed the motherfucker that day. I almost just killed the fucking dog on principle. That somebody was this fucking genius. Fuck Ozzy Osbourne and Shannon Osbourne and her fucking wig and her fake fucking face. This is when they were dirty and hungry. This is it, right here.

Have a good day. Poisoning their brainwash minds. Oh, Lord Jell!