The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #058 - VINCENT PASTORE | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT

Episode Date: April 21, 2021

Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint..... It's Wednesday, April 21st..... Today, it's Uncle Joey & his half brother VINCENT PASTORE..... This episode is brought to you by Manscaped & Express VPN...... Go to https://www.Manscaped.com/JOEY Go to https://www.ExpressVPN.com/JOEY And don't forget.....   The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON:   https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #VincentPastore #TheSopranos #BigPussy Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... You can find Ben here: Ben Telford Visuals Cinematography and Visual Promotion Agency, Ontario, Canada [e-mail] Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/b_telford or https://www.instagram.com/bentelfordvisuals  

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Some of years I hung off from 420. Let's do this. shit cocksuckers what's happened you bad motherfuckers uncle Joe here Wednesday to 21st fucking tremendous 420 I hope you motherfuckers had a great time fucking we some smoke this and be real weed tremendous little mr. green thumb action give him to your love but it's a beautiful day to be alive today I want to talk to you about some we have a guest today a special guest who I love to death this guy opened up a lot of doors for me But before we get to it, I want to talk to you guys about something.

Now, when I got to LA, it was 1997. I got throwing a pilot and I didn't know what the fuck I was doing, you know? And then I got the movie basketball, and I had no fucking idea what I was doing. And I was ashamed. I was embarrassed. I was a movie buff. When they called me and they said that I had made it into basketball, was like, what?

Are you fucking serious? Because it was so bad, you know, it was horrible. When I got the pilot for CBS, when I first got the pilot for CBS, Bronx Tale, Bronx County, Bronx Tale, I'm sorry, Bronx County. I really had like seven scenes. I'm not going to lie to anybody. My acting was so fucking atrocious.

Like, how can you not act? You're a comic. My acting was so fucking atrocious. that by the time we shot the pilot, I think I had a line. If I, if it, I mean, they cut your line. I mean, they cut everything down. I mean, it was, it was, you know, and I'm, listen, this is the truth. This is what happens when you go into something not knowing,

something that I wasn't used to doing. I always, before, you know, even with the guitar, whether it's jiu-jitza, I want, you know, when I lift weights, I know I don't know everything. You know, my job, I'm a professional fucking comedian. and everything else I don't know about. But when you get to L.A., at first, you're a manager just says, hey, do you want to go out for an audition? And you're like, I guess so.

Everybody else is doing it. It seems like the right fucking thing to do. I was always, listen, I was a bigger fan growing up of movies than what I was a stand-up. I'm not going to lie to you. Richard Pryor with his albums, I loved the early Richard Pryor stuff. And that's what I held on to. And that's what I used when I started, you know, a little bit of the early prior. That's why I talk about the subjects I talk about.

But I was more of a fucking movie guy than a stand-up comedy guy. I loved fucking movies. But then I saw Easy Money, and I knew that Rodney was a stand-up, and then I saw the toy and all of Richard Pryor's movies, and I'm like, fuck, they do movies. You know, Blue Street with fucking Gene Wilder. Richard Pryor did some great fucking movies. So that was my whole thing.

And then I knew that Rick Doakerman did movies. So when I got to LA, you know, people were like, you got to go on an audition and stuff like that. So I just went, you know, maybe I was too proud to ask for help. People would say, do you want to run lines? And I would run lines of people. But years later, I was running lines of people who were bums that they couldn't book a fucking headshot themselves. So why was I running lines with them? Do you know what I'm saying?

Like, I was running lines with losers, you know, so how am I going to book if I'm hanging out with fucking a bum? So sorry about that. I'm a little fucking dehydrated. So I didn't really know much about it, but I was too scared to fucking ask. But after the basketball debacle, there was an acting class across. You know, they have the big time acting classes in L.A.

that you could join. Guys, looker, it's like buying gasoline, you know. When you go, like they want the super unleaded, super, super, super unlettered, or whatever. Acting is acting. you know, uh, most of the people that teach acting,

again, can't book a fucking headshot themselves. You know, the, you know, I mean, that's the truth. Most people that have an acting school.

It's not, you know, James Franco had a fucking acting school. You know, I didn't go to that one, you know, and look at the end of the fucking molesting women. I don't know what the fuck he was doing over there.

What's the other guy? The guy from fucking, uh, he was in, in death, death wish and all that shit. I forget, Bloomberg,

I meanberg, whatever his fucking name was. He's like a real star. He was in a couple of big time movies. He had an acting school. And I heard it was a fucking joke over there with women and shit like that. So unless, you know, and then I met James Coburn years later. And he's the one that told me to get out of acting class. You had natural instincts.

But to make a long story short, after my debacle with fucking basketball, I was like, I got to figure this shit out. So, yeah, I went on the road. I disappeared. I did two. fucking weird tours, I disappeared. And then when I came back and settled in in 99, right before I met fucking Terry,

I got into an acting class. And while I met Terry in the beginning, like my anniversary's 4th of July with Terry, I think by August of 2000, I had forced myself into an acting class. And this time it was a big time one. So I could really be prepared. I had gone to like this guy, Frank something on Schrader.

He had like an actor's core, but he didn't like stand-up comics. It was Monday nights from seven to nine. I always had to leave because I always had a spot at the improv or at Latino night at the laugh factory. So I always had to leave. So he would get pissed off at me. They were cheap acting classes. So I learned the basics. The guy that really, really taught me how to fucking lay it down was I had a black acting coach,

a little African-American gay guy had this little acting class. on Saturday mornings. I found out it was dropping. It was like $20 drop-ins. And I started to, he was over by Gower, by waffles and chicken over there. They had these little huts

off of Hollywood, between Hollywood and sunset. And I really, he really explained it to me. Had to go to like three acting teachers before I fucking knew what the fuck they were talking about. And then once I went to a van der Chubbik,

which is the cream of the crop acting in 2000, I started attending seminars. I started going to cast and directing seminars, and I started fucking going to, you know, reading workshop, cold reading workshops and shit like that that were isolated. Like Tuesdays at 7 o'clock, I was in town, I would pay the 50 bucks just so I can meet that casting director. But you know what?

It was all fine and dandy, and I was auditioning for shit, but I wasn't booking anything. And then a show came on the air, called the fucking Sopranos. And I happened to look like one of the guys, and my fucking life changed. You know, by the beginning of the second season of the Sopranos, for people who went through it and who remember it, which is 2001 and 2000,

the television system had become everything mobster. I, you know, I can't count. You know, I try to find my, I have movie call sheets. I have a couple of commercial call sheets, but I don't have all my commercial calls. I have a lot of fucking movie call sheets. that I release from time to time on Patreon. But commercial call sheets I don't have.

I could be fucking, I'm sure, conservatively, from 2001 to 2003 or four, I shot, let's just be, to be fair, four commercials a year, that you have, I shot 12 commercials in three years, four years, that you people never saw, never knew I shot, from Penzol to Verizon Cable, to fucking Pepto-Bismol to fucking, what's the diehard battery for Sears? I did all those commercials, but they were mob-related.

You know, I'm doing NFTs. I talked about this. I'm doing NFTs pretty soon. I'm going to incorporate it with my Patreon. I'm doing an NFT of me and Lee. I'm doing an NFT of there's different pictures that I have throughout the years from the county store. I'm going to probably do 10 of them at $20 a piece and then auction stuff off. I have a new idea.

The Florentine crime family put it into my head. I want to do the NFTs and then I'll sell them through Patreon and I'll pick one person every month who wins the NFT and they do a zoom into the joint for 10 minutes, which they buy. the NFT to of them doing the Zoom. Only one person can buy it. Only one person can buy it. So we're going to fucking start fucking around with NFTs here. But this isn't the point of this conversation.

The point of this conversation was that after the Sopranos came out, I have to thank them because of them, I started working constantly, constantly. And it opened up a door for me because of them. I resembled somebody. That's my little secret that I shouldn't tell you, but I'm telling you that the reason why I got started in movies and acting was because the sopranos blew up. So when I would go into these auditions,

I looked so much like Vincent Pastor that they would hire me for all those commercials, Penzo. This night did the Sears commercial. That was brilliant. It was me and some other chuch-fucking digging. We got a got in the trunk and we're digging and we have the headlights on. and we're digging, we're digging, we're digging, we put the chooch in the hole, and then we go start the car, the battery's dead.

And that says, die hard, next time go to Cs and all this shit. But what was happening was before the commercials aired, fucking the Italian-American organization was cutting them down, going, again, you're insulting fucking Italian-Americans, so you didn't see my commercials. I must have shot, like I said, 12 commercials. I know for a fact, Penn's all, we put a guy, guy in the trunk and we open up and the cameras looking at us uh seers we had a guy in the trunk

i still got the picture of me one of the nfts is me big dig in the trench in this fucking seers commercial so i'm putting that out you know i but what i'm trying to get to if it wasn't for the sopranos and it wasn't a vincent pastor i wouldn't have booked shit so what did i do i called vincent pastor and i asked him if he could come on uncle joey's joint and he said yes. I hope you enjoy it. As Vinnie passed off for the next couple minutes, enjoy it, cocksuckers. Uncle Vinny.

It's my residual checks. I don't owe you nothing, Coxucker. You owe me money. This is getting out of hand. I'm not taking none of your work. You're going to have to grow a goat tea to catch up with me. I hear you. You're always doing something. How are you,

Vinny? I'm good. You know, are we on? We're taping already? Yeah, we're taping. Okay, it's us until the wheels fall off. I love you and I'm sorry we couldn't get together during these bad times you know

because I was trying to do your show earlier. Yes, yes, yes, it's been a nightmare but I was trying to come to your acting class two years ago. No, you're not coming to my acting class. I have to. You can zoom in as a guest star. No, no.

You're not stuck, Joe. I'm inviting you right now. You zoom in as a guest and you observe and you talk to my students. You're not coming out as a student. Let me tell you something. Why not? I always got something to learn. You can't teach you how to act.

You can't teach bad to play football. Come on. Let me tell you something. I knew you were doing it with Ms. Van Zantt about two years ago on Monday nights. And I had heard about it, but I had to work every Monday. So that's what was the problem. I didn't know how to get a hold of you. Yeah.

I don't know if you're still doing it. Everything's on Zoom now, Joey, you know. So I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do. I want your guys to email me your email address. Done. Done after this. I'm going to link you up with all these things and get you involved with me and Maureen and Renegade. We'd love to have you there.

Yes, I love to. You know, me, I'm always up doing the way. Listen, listen, listen, listen. You need help on an audition or something. We zoom in each other at night, you know, boom, boom, boom. As long as you're not taking apart. away from me. I'm not going to help you take a part away from me. If you want to get

involved a renegade, we just knocked off a street car named Desire. I directed this thing on Zoom. It took us like nine months to do and we're going to stream it at the end of the month. And that's what the things we're doing right now. Until theater comes back.

I would love to be a part of that, man. I'm going to tell her when I asked, Joey, come on. I was talking about it the other day. I want to be involved in some type of theater group. I didn't grow up in theater, Vinnie. I grew up on the streets. I didn't do no theater.

Me too. You know, I didn't do no theater, so it's always going to dream of mine. No, I was a club owner. You know that. Yes. And how did you get into theater? I started doing some community theater in the 70s, but when I started studying, I went to HB Studios where I teach now, and I started taking classes,

and then I studied with this guy, Tommy and then we started putting plays up. We started doing on the waterfront. We did, that's a good play for you. We did Requiem for heavy weight, lamp post. Me and all my guys, we started doing a lot of plays and you know

what? It didn't pay the bills, Joey, but it kept you sharp. It's like training to be a fighter. It keeps you sharp. The rehearsals and everything. Right, right, right. I was going to do Cuba. I want to do Cuba and his teddy bear. I saw that. I've been dying to do be a part of that.

You do the Bert Young role? When they did it on Broadway. I saw it. It was De Niro? Ralph Machio. Ralph Machio. And Bert Young. And Bert Young. Yeah, I think I would go for Bert Young's role.

Wow. Did you see that play or what? How do you know about that play? Yes. You saw it? A friend of mine, no, had a video of it. Okay. Somebody had videoed it.

I had never gone to theater at that time. Yeah. And I was blown away. I was blown away. I went right to Samuel French and bought the play. Oh, I got to get you involved. You'd be good. You know what you'd be good as?

Pick up Requiem for a heavy way. Okay. And look at the Anthony Quinrol, the lead, Mount McClintock. You got it. It'd be a great role for you. Just read it. And then, say, Vinny, I read the play. Okay.

I'll order it tonight. Requiem for heavyweight. Rod Serling, before it was a movie, it was a play. It was for CBS Playhouse. Jack Palance did it on television. Wow. And then they went to the movies,

and they had Anthony Quinn and my guy, Jackie Gleason. Well, this is good. I didn't know you went to all of this. So when did you start acting? Who's interviewing you? Who gives a shit? When did you start acting?

Vinny, I was a stand-up comic. I got, I was in Seattle, and one night a guy came up to me, and he goes, I worked for C. We're doing a play and you would be perfect for the fucking play. I said, fine. I never took an acting class, nothing. A month later, they flew me to LA.

I did some type of test. And they called me a week later and told me I had the pilot. I never studied. I never did. I went to the fucking movies. I came from Cuba. I lived on 205 West 88th Street. And my godfather would walk me to Times Square every Saturday to watch a different movie.

He took me to see the love bug. the world's greatest athlete. Then he pulled me aside and he goes, listen, we're going to go see adult movies, no more kid movies. You just don't tell your mother. He took you the 42nd Street, that? Right, the 42nd.

Oh, that's a story and a story. Fucking the Balachi Papers was my first movie. Then The Majesty Secret Service. Yes, so I went to see those at the movie theater and I loved movies, but I never saw myself as an actor. Then I moved out. You know what you got to do?

especially I've been doing a lot of this during the pandemic. I watch a lot of a turn of classic movies. Absolutely. And I look at a lot of Garfield and George Raft and Emergy Robinson and Borgnine you know

Ernest Borknard was a great character. He was a great fucking character. You watch him do Marty. Marty's a good role for you. All these guys, Lee J. Com, those are the guys that, you know, I said, wow. You know, I'm going to tell you something. It's interesting I can talk to you about this, but I didn't think I could be an actor until they came out with the godfather.

And then I saw a bunch of Italians up there working. I said, I guess maybe I could do this. Now, when the Godfather came out, what were you doing? I was running nightclubs in a Rochelle. I put a tape on in my room because I was a DJ. And I went up and I saw the Midnight Godfather. I come back. And nobody's drinking. You know, it was like slow.

I put a tape on. And I went up there with the boy. son. We saw the Godfather at midnight, the first one. And I said to myself, you know what? You can do this. And how long did it take you to get on? Godfather, three, and I had a little bit with Eli Wallach, and I was showing one of my students. I said, see, you can't turn down extra work. You see, look what they did to me. Coppola put me in the scene with Eli Wall. I don't look like no extra over there.

See, you don't know, you know, and we all started somewhere. But I remember I met you on the grudge match. I was mad at you. well you were well you had a big part come on no but look let me tell you what happened I moved a big part was in a row

yes but did they talk to you about that movie no oh they they they it was like the director I had worked for him before on the longest yard and when the longest yard ended me and him didn't

end in a good way I thought he didn't like me told me at the premiere I wasn't his first first choice for what for the longest yard well i was up for that that you beat me out of well that because i'll tell you what happened they told me they were looking at you and tony saragusa who got it tony sarahus or you no i got it but they were looking at you and sarahus right and then i got fucked up one night and i'm like how to fuck no disrespect viny but i'm a comic adam sandler's a comedian

I go, how they're going to give it to Saragusa or to Vinny? This can't happen. So I went to fucking Al's Big and Fat store in Houston, Texas. I got a little football helmet for a kid. I put it on my head. I got a size fucking small. I was 418 at the time. My stomach stuck out.

And I did a video of me catching a football running. And I looked at the Italian guy that I was going to cast in the movie. I watched the original. and I just did his lines. You mean the original of Bert Reynolds? The original with Bert Reynolds. So I took the guy, Tony, that they were actually, I was replacing,

and I took his lines and put it on an audition tape and sent it in. That's how I got that movie. Holy, who'd you send it to? I sent it right to Adam Sandler's office. They told me they were looking for a star name, you or Saragusa. I refused to handle that response.

Yeah, but Nikki To-Torrault. was in that. That was great. I remember that. Yes. But I was so proud of you. I'm serious when I saw you in Grudge Match. I met you at the premiere. Yes, that was the first time we met. We hugged each other.

We were like you. It's you. Right, right, right. And a lot of times people post a picture of you and they see it's me or they post a picture of me and they say it's you. Fucking hilarious. You don't know how many people. I got a thousand

like while the Sopranos was on the air and you were on the air I have thousands of stories of when I would come to Jersey to visit I thought it was you I went to a shop right one day and the manager bought my groceries He thought it was me

He thought it was you I went into a donut shop Because I was lost On the 34 It's like 10 miles from here From my house now I was lost on Route 34 And I saw a donut

shop and I saw two cop cars. I pulled in and I went to one of the cops and I go, hey man, I'm lost. He looked at me. He thought it was, man, you thought it was you. So the one cop got in front of me and the one cop got behind me with their lights on and they made sure I got home. Okay. So you didn't say nothing.

So you've been copycatting me. You've been copycatting me for a long time now. Fuck yeah. Why would I say something? I'm glad that we finally had this confrontation on your podcast to discuss this. Because I'm proud of you, Joey. I love you.

I want to work with you. I want to work with you too. I've been dying to work with you. I've been dying to find something. De Niro and Martin Scorsese and that Leonardo Caprio are doing some movie about flowers or something.

What's the call? I don't know. Yeah, it's a book. They're doing a big movie. Who put you in the Irishman? Nobody. I didn't even read for the Irishman. Did you?

No, I was overlooked. So, but you're in Saints to New York, right? Newark, right? Yes, but no Green Book. Did you read for the Green Book? No, I know, Nikki, but you were in Green Book, too? No, no, I know Nikki, but he didn't put me in Green Book. I didn't read for it.

It was tough. No, Nikki said it was tough. But talk to me about, now I'm going to ask you questions. Talk to me about what you did in St. Newark. Who'd you play? I can't, you know, I can't say. What the fuck?

I'm a rat. I can't say. So you're not a rat. You can't tell us what character you played? No, I can. We had assigned stuff. You know the deal. Well, I know Little Pussy, because the kid who plays little pussies,

but come to my acting class. Great kid, Samson. And John. He's the one that turned me on to you. It was Samson who told me you had the class. Oh, because he was coming to class with Little Stephen. Yes. Okay.

And then the other person is John. Um, McGarrow, McGarrow, he's in at St. Sanuiki, play Silvio as he were young. And I just did a movie with him, um, called birthday cake. So it got a lot of up-and-comen actors, uh, playing the kids. And then you got, uh, then you got Jimmy's kid. Jimmy's kid, you got Ray. You got John Berthall, who did a fucking great job. Alessandro, who I had on the podcast last week.

You know, great people. I learned from some, uh, I learned some, uh, I learned some great stuff on that movie. Vinnie. When's it coming out? September 24th. Well, that's smart because they're waiting

for everything to die down. Absolutely. Absolutely. You know what's crazy, Vinny, let me tell you the real story. So when I started acting, I booked on my own, I booked a pilot,

I booked a movie called basketball. And then I went like on a little bit of a cold streak. I had to do a bunch of college films, which is okay. I didn't know what I was doing as an actor. So I started doing a lot of low budget movies, a lot of college movies, you know, shit that people won't see. Yeah, but that's how you learn.

That's how you learn. I must have done a year of that. And then the Sopranos was coming out. And I came to New York and I had reels. I had put together reels. And my manager called me and he goes, drop one off. global, drop one off on another company and drop one off

at Sheila Jaffi's office because they're looking for this thing for the Sopranos. I dropped off the other two tapes. I never dropped off the Soprano tape. I'm like, I can't sing. Oh, yeah, because

still for you, you thought it was an opera at some shit. Yeah, so I'm not going over there. I forgot all about it. A year later, I'm in Cleveland and I'm watching this movie on TV and I'm like this is what I read for or we're supposed to read for holy shit then I went back that summer the Carolines and the girl saw me the assistant to Sheila to Georgine Walkin and she saw me that night at the

Toyota Comedy Festival and she goes can you come in and read that was for the second season so I read for the FBI agent I read for Gigi I read for Bacca la I read for producers on all of them. But I was too green. I was shaken. My sheets were shaken in front of David Chase. I was too fucking green. Yeah.

And then years later, they contacted me because I kept in touch with Georgian. Anytime I booked something, I would send her a reel of it. Anything mafia related. Once I got analyzed that, I sent her the reel. And then she called me in to play your brother for four episodes. This was after you were gone already. Yeah. And I was working on Spider-Man too at Sony.

And they contacted me and they said, we want you to put this audition on tape for the Sopranos. I said, absolutely. They go, can we fax you the sides? I go, listen, don't fax me the sides because I'm not home. I need to press that button when you're home to get the fax. I send it to the comedy store. So I had them send it to the comedy store.

They send sides for me, and they send sides for a comedian named Dom Irera. Do you know who that is? I know Dom. He's a friend of mine. Great guy. So without me knowing, one of the waitresses

called, spoke to somebody at the Sopranos, just off like the way I'm talking to you, and said, you know, Joey Diaz and Dom Herrera are reading for the Super Bowl. That was like on a Tuesday night. On a Friday night, I get a call from George Ann walking telling me that I got fired because The material went out.

I told somebody that I was reading. The sides went out. And the sides went. I didn't show them to anybody. Yeah, but I went to the comedy club. I see what's going on. Yeah. So you got fired.

You got fired before you got hired. I got fired before I got hired. Well, that's not a bad story. Because he still ended up in the Saints of Newark. So they probably still loved you. Yeah, but it was different casting for the Saints in Newark. Oh, who did the cast? Oh, Dougabelle?

I think so. I think so. I don't remember offhand. And did, you know, I don't want to get you in trouble with David Chase because I know how David is. But did you audition for a particular role or did they offer you something? No, I auditioned for a particular role. Yeah. And they called like a week later.

Okay. All right. So I guess I can't ask you if you're dead. No. It was great. I tell you, working with him was great for me, Vinny. I needed that. No, of course you do.

What happens just like anything else in entertainment, you got to take the gambols. You got to step up. Like this whole pandemic has been driving me nuts. But I learned to readdress my life. I got a couple of computers in my office. office. I've been working on stuff a lot. You know, I'm starting to break out now. I'm starting to book my band again. Me and Johnny got a podcast and please come on and do our thing. We would

love to have you. Me and goodbye, Johnny. We're going up to a second year. I'm trying to stay relevant and sharp. Absolutely. I'm trying to stay sane. Now, what are they telling you about the theater space? When are you allowed to go back there, September? No, you can go back. You mean the school? Yes. The school is we're going to reopen in the fall. But a lot of off-Broadway stuff is opening up.

And otherwise, if there's a 300-seater, then maybe you can sell 150 seats. So it's all coming back. But there's no, you know, you know, there's no money in theater. No, no. But you learn. You learn, you know. So if you've got time and you want to, you know, start working on

RECB and stuff like that, you start working on it in classes or on Zoom and stuff. but the best way is to get work like um listen come on Chris,

Chris Maloney's got a new hit show what's it called? Law and order organized crime yeah come on you don't belong on that did you go in for it you don't belong on that I asked you a fucking question

did you go in for it no I'm waiting me neither I don't they don't look you know they don't call maybe they want people that are not recognize them

but my friend John Bianco is on. I saw Chaz on it. Chaz was good and he was smart. He got killed in the first episode. That's the only person I saw on it. Now you can go back to work on another show, Godfather Hallam, Cathy Noducci's on that.

This is in Afio. You know, I'm going to tell you something, Joey, because I'm on the New York local and I'm on the national board with saying actor, and the work is coming back to New York. Is it really? Yeah. I got to put an audition on tape

for what's his name today for a Woody Harrelson movie Justin Trudeau movie Okay, you shouldn't be done on people Why not? Because they're all going to try to get this They're all of a sudden, 100 people know right now

They're all going to go Then you've got 100 to one odds No, but they're looking for a specific type of Looking for Cubans Really? Yeah, I'm a fucking Cuban. Cuban? Talk to me.

I was watching Andy Garcia on TV last night. You should have him on your podcast. He's a tough nut to crack. Oh, he's got a new television show coming out. Does he? Yeah. He's got a new movie coming out, so I was going to talk to him on the new movie. They're redoing Focco's movie. Steve Martin,

the daddy, when he marries the father of the bride. Yeah. They're doing it with a Cuban family, so I'm expecting a call for that. Oh, you got to get on. as a Cuban uncle, you know, something, the fucking crazy Cuban uncle. So once I talk to Andy on that, maybe I'll have him on the podcast and talk some shit, you know. Andy's a good person. Andy Garcia.

I was watching on Godfather 3 this morning. How young he was. Yes. Yeah, he was, yeah, Blake Vincent. But, yeah, New York is, the work is coming back. I'm a little happy. I haven't been, the last job I had was for NBC for New Year's Eve. it was a comedy skit with that Amber Ruffin, I have more working.

But I don't care. I thought you were doing a movie with Paulie Walnuts up in New York State. I don't know what happened to that. Yeah, something, because I saw the write-up on it. A lot of projects that they try to get gone because of COVID, then they didn't get to green light because they got all those regulations and insurance things they got to go through. So the independence are getting hurt.

In other words, me and you do an independent. let's say we got $300,000 for a budget. We got to add out at least another $20,000 for the COVID issues, and then we've got to get health insurance and all this stuff. So it's bringing in another 20% on top of the budget. So a lot of the guys are getting hurt.

See, the big budget, like I was watching Al Sapienza, he showed how he was on the set of this new project. Yeah, did you see that? The bubbles and shit. Yeah, but you see a low budget can't afford to do that. No, no.

I got my shot. Did you get your shot? Yeah, I'm good. What you want to make out? I'm good. But what I'm saying is what's great about it is that now you could go on the set and feel a little better. Like when I shot Saints, we had to add extra scenes.

So we had to shoot in September. COVID was still out. And I got to see what the work was like and how much went into it. You know, the food that gets shipped on set now. There's, you know, what a lot of people didn't know was that, sack this is what i didn't like vennie this is what i wasn't happy with covid's a disease that's taken lives you know whatever you believe whatever so if you're doing a movie you got to be extra fucking careful i heard that sag correct me if i'm wrong you know you're on the board

you're more involved with that i heard that sag sent an email to actors that made less than 7,000 a year, 8,000 a year, saying that they were looking for onset personnel as COVID agents. And all they had to do was go online, read for two or three hours. This is what I heard. I don't know how true it is. What do you mean by COVID agents? Do you mean the guy that works on the set to make sure everything's okay? Right.

Yeah, I kind of believe in that. I had a COVID guy on each set. They got to have somebody there. And it can't be an actor. It can't be production. but I this is what I heard I heard they were getting actors and using them training them like making them read three pages making them take a quiz and then they they were like listen meet producers meet actors meet directors this is a perfect job for you and now they made them COVID agents I didn't like that I wanted somebody who knew at least fucking have a nurse so I could feel confident oh so what they did was they got three angry women, three of the angriest women in the world, because they're the only ones that can pull this off.

A guy can't come up to you and go, hey, get the fuck away from Vinny. But a woman could come up to you and say, hey, get the fuck away from him. And it's okay. So you've got to get three angry women and one nurse, and you feel better. I feel better. But if you're just going to put regular people there as COVID agents, it's not going to help anybody. No.

So that's why I've been a little hesitant. Well, I don't know. First, well, I don't know. true, but if it's true, they're giving union actors some kind of a job because we're hurting, man. I mean, the extras out there are hurting.

There's no extra work, and there ain't going to be no extra work for a while. You can't do, like I was doing Wutang last year, you know, the Wutang Clan, and you had a lot of extras. You can't do that this year. You can't do a concert scene with the Wutang Clan, everybody going like, you know,

you can't, you know. You can't. Yeah. Those days are over, man. Yeah, it's going to change everything and how everything works for a while. And my main business is stand-up, Vinny. You know, and that's...

Yeah, but the stand-up, you can make money because, you know, listen, Johnny, my guy, Gumbah, you know, Gumbah, Johnny. Yes. He's running around with Anthony Rodia. And they're running all over. And I said, how to hell you play these things? venues he said viny they do social distance you don't even meet the audience no no but you've got to be

very careful because i got a meet and greet in june down a wildwood and i told the guy setting it up listen i don't care if i got the shots i don't know about these people who are going to come to see me they can take a picture but it's got to be socially distanced you got to have like a backdrop and nobody's going to complain they're not going to complain i don't want to get sick you want to get sick I don't get sick. No. With my business, I don't want to do stand-up. I was doing stand-up, Vinny.

I was trying to do stand-up every week. But then there was about there where the waitress got it, the owner got it, people got, and I had reconstructive knee surgery. I also got knee surgery in January. Yeah. So I'm trying to mend this. So I got my shot last week with my luck.

It's fucking Johnson and Johnson. What's the matter with Johnson and Johnson? They say it's causing fucking blood clots and women It killed six women or some shit Hold on, hold on, hold on, I got to die right now, hold on I know Me too. Come on.

Come on. I did the Johnson and Johnson. So we can't walk out of the house. Stop. Did you do Johnson and Johnson? I did Johnson and Johnson, so I'm not worried about blood clots. I'm not going to say that.

about my experience. But when I went to get my shot, I probably could have picked up COVID just being there. Why was that? Your place wasn't safe? Everybody was on top of each other. And, you know, the first shot was okay.

The second shot was a mess. I was telling the girl sitting next to me, I said, we're going to catch COVID just by being here. There was a lot of people there? It was all backed up. It was crazy at the beginning. Yeah, my buddy said that where he's going, It's a fucking two-hour wait today.

Where? In North Jersey. Really? They called them yesterday. They told them it's a two to two-and-a-half-hour wait, so. Well, you know what? Tell them it's going to be worth it, because I tell you what, I feel better, and I encourage everybody to go out there to get the shots.

You feel better. You feel like you can move around. It's like they said to me, do you want to start doing some podcasts in person? Do you want your guests in person? And I said, no, I want them to zoom in until everybody feels safe. But they're actually trying to encourage us to stop moving around, Joey. Well, I'm going to move into a different studio, and I'm going to have guests then, you know. Yeah.

But I'm going to try to zoom it for a while. Yeah, yeah. This is out of my house now. I don't want nobody coming over to the house. You know what I'm saying? Oh, no. This is good. I don't want nobody coming over to that house.

What's good about this, you can get the rock zooming in from Hawaii. Yeah, it don't matter. No, this is good. good. This is good and it's fun. You watch the late night shows? They still zooming everybody in. Everybody's zooming in.

Right, right. You know, Vinnie, and you said some at the beginning of this, and it was funny, because it is true. I owe you money and I owe you friendship because... You don't know money and you are my friend, Joey. I don't love you enough. These kids go like this to me, Andrew, you got to go on Joey Dio choice. Joey's my boy.

Stop. You know, I love Joey. See, you know what we got to do. we got to talk somebody into doing something with me and you, some kind of a funny show. You know, like with brothers. We play brothers. There's something there, Jenny, you're right.

It's something. We play with brothers, you know. We got to come up with something. Think about it. I mean, you're funny. I'm funny. I'm not as funny as you. You're a funny guy.

Funny how? Funny. And then, you know, we do something like maybe, I don't know, we got to write something. And then we filmed it. And you got a little pilot. It'd be funny. Like something we're like, I'm a wise guy.

And then you come over to live with me or some shit. I don't want you on my house. You know, maybe he just got into jail. I don't know. Something funny. Can I just be Cuban and maybe you don't like Cubans? No, you're my brother. You play Italian.

You're not going to play Cuban. I want to do a wise guy thing with you. Okay. Well, you want to do Cuban? Why can I have a Cuban brother? I don't know. Maybe I got to be Cuban. Why do I got to be Cuban?

No, you can be Italian. You can be a fucking Italian. You can be half and half for all I can. Maybe that's why I don't like you. Maybe half Cuban. This is what we'll do. Maybe your father is Andy Garcia from God from three. You were brothers, but we had a different father.

Yeah, that's it. There you got. That's it. There you go. Do we have the same last name? No. No. We had the same

mother, but not the same father. And we met through that fucking DNA thing. We met on a love connection. No, on 23 and me. We met on 23 and me. They told me I had a brother. That we had a brother?

Yeah, they told me that I had a brother, so it's you. And he says he lives in Brooklyn, and all of a sudden I show up. And all of a sudden I show up. And I have... What am I doing? I'm running a nightclub? What am I doing? You're doing whatever. I'm expecting for you to be playing Maracas and shit, but I walk in and you're playing a card game.

And I got to walk up to you and say, hey, I'm your brother. And I don't want to bother you. Get out of it. And you're like, get the fuck out of you. My mother only had one husband. You didn't know that 20 years ago when your mother was 18. Yeah, I don't want to mention somebody's name on your show,

but I had somebody that, a friend of mine, that's in that same situation. So that happened. It happened back in the day Where if a wise guy had a gum on the side It's like the godfather three with Sonny's kid with Vincent That was his go mad on the side That wasn't his wife

That's why Michael takes him in He says you're with us because he's family But you can be like that Look at this right in their own sitcom Right here on the spot during a fucking Zoom During Uncle Joey's joint What do you want to call him? Give me a Cuban name

regular brothers. How do you say brothers in Cuban? Ehrmano. That's the name of their show. Los Ehrmanos. What is it? Dost, why? Hermannos, with an age.

No. No. Wow. Joey, this is a good idea. And anybody listening to the show, pitch it, Joey. We're pitching it. It's all over.

That's it. We're done. Just say, you know, we want to put this together. We're looking some of investors. You know, we want to shoot a pilot, and it's going to be, I don't tell you something. They're looking for material like crazy. Like crazy right now.

They're looking for the next big fucking thing. They've got movies coming out that I did 20 years ago that got lost that it's showing up on television. I've seen that too during the end. Let me tell you some. Every night, Spider-Man 2 is on. Speaking of Grudge match, it's been on every goddamn night on stars. Yeah. And taxi's been on every night.

they're trying to blow up Queen Latifah. She was shooting the equalizer in Newark. Why don't you get on that? I never got an audition. You don't need no audition. Just call her up. I haven't seen her in 15 years, Queen Latifah. I saw Queen Latifah last year at the VMH Awards.

We did in Newark, New Jersey, where me and Dreia and Jamie Lynn presented those kids, those kids from Jersey. the Jonas brothers. We gave me the award. It was this good skit. And that's when I saw her. She's nice. She's a good person, you know.

Maybe I'll say her. Oh, no, no. She's very nice. I did a movie with her and we talked all day about Jersey. She was great. And she shoots in Newark. Yeah, she shoots in Newark. That's what's good.

There's a lot of stuff coming and I'm telling a lot of my up-and-coming actors. You don't want to go to California. You're going to stay right here. In fact, there was a project. I auditioned for the other day, and they said, we are not looking at any actors from L.A. We just want New York-based actors, and that's good for us. That's good for us. They don't want to fly people in and deal with a lot of COVID stuff.

I know what's going on. No, I got an audition for California that I didn't want to read for, and I hated it because there was a mobster role. And if you went, you got it, you would have had to go to California. It was recurring to fucking boot. but it was California. It was like five to six episodes. I had to go back and forth. And I just wasn't in the mood to do it.

A lot of people who don't want to do that no more. It's, it's, you know, it's been crazy. It's really been crazy that as entertainers, you know, we were the first to get hit economically. We were. And it's hard to get back. It's hard for comedians and actors and musicians to get back. And you've got to be a little selective on how you get back.

because we don't want to get sick. I'm happy that you have, you did a fucking play during the pandemic, Vinnie. You know what that's like? Yeah, but we did it on Zoom. I'm going to send you the link next week. I don't give a fuck if you did it on a playground. Just the fact that you did it.

Yeah. Because you, man, I give you props. You picked up people's morale by doing this. Yeah, well, what happened? And I love Maureen and Stevie, very example, like my brothers and sisters. I met them on soprano. And I said to Maureen, you know, I'm going nuts.

You know, we were talking just like me and you on Zoom. She said, we should do something. I said, you should do street crime and desire. She's, I did it years ago. I said, you should do it now. How? I said, I'll put a cast together. And it started as like we were just as an idea, Joey.

And now we taped it. We taped it. we're taping this. We taped it. We edited it. We got permission from the union. We got permission from the Tennessee Williams Estate. And I won't like this, holy shit, we pulled it off. And now I sit back. And now I'm working with Bobby Fernaro on my next play that we're going to do on Zoom until the theater's open up. That's all. Once they open up, then I don't have to do the Zoom. I'll go downtown and you sell tickets and stuff. But I'm serious, Joey. I really want you to have your guy send me your email.

And then I'm going to start inviting you into things that we do with Renegade. And I'm going to introduce you to everybody. And it doesn't guarantee you a role, but if something comes up, like, for instance, we just did cast it for Richard Vitiri's new play, and I go to Bobby Fernaro, cast it. And I sent him some suggestions. and they're all from people from within the group and people that want to work with us. You know, I'm not going to ask them

to put somebody in that we never worked with before. It's a click. And you know all the guys. You know, for me, I wanted to join a theater group while I was here. I didn't know where. I was just waiting for the smoke to clear. Yeah.

I want to be a part of a theater group in a way, you know, just so I've never been a part of it, and I love to study it. as you know, it's not for money. No, no, it's not for money. It's not for anything. It keeps insane and it keeps you sharp. And you know what, man, you work with young kids and it's fucking great.

You know, you mentioned Fonaro, the guy that played... Bobby. No, the kid that did Newark with me. He played Silvio, you said, you know. Oh, John. John. Johnny. Yeah. You know, I spent spending time with John was great during the movie.

He's a fucking crack up. You know, the young guys, when you work with young guys, even with me with stand-up, when I work with somebody who's 30, they inspire me. I'm not jealous of them. I'm not a bitter old man.

I'm pushing them. I want them to do fucking good. Right. You know, so me work, I love all that type of stuff. Right. I can connect with kids and they'll ask me, you know, I know you love it

when people ask you different questions. They look up to you. You're mentoring them. helping them out in the theater. You're letting them know it's okay. People want that and they need that right now. So that's what I want to be a part of. So, yeah, I'll have Mike send you my email.

Yeah, I'm going to invite you to, like, I'm working on a play now on Wednesday afternoons, and I'll send you a link. And all you have to do, and I'm going to say to my actors, Joey Diaz, he's watching us work today. And that's all you do. You sit back, like, you know, you go like this. watch me. You go like this. And you watch. So, in other words, in other words,

in other words, you're not on camera. Okay. And you watch us work. But I'll send you the links to come in and watch us work. And Joey, I don't do this for everybody. I do it for you because I know you're rich.

Rich. I'm not rich. I just love learning. I heard you got a lot of money. Shit. If I had a lot of money, do you think I'd be Zooming right now. I'd be in Portugal right now. What do you want to do in Portugal? From there, listen, I was talking to somebody the ad day,

and they said to me, what would you do if somebody gave you $100 million like they gave you a pal, Joe Rogan? And I said, first thing I would do is pack my fucking bags and move to Spain. And I would go to Italy. And then I would buy a fucking villa in Italy.

And I would go to Italy on the weekends just to eat like a fucking. doctor so I could eat like a doctor on the weekends and I could eat like a doctor during a week in Spain. I would go to England. I would get a podcast studio and I would interview people in fucking England. That's what I would do if somebody gave me a hundred million dollars. Why, you could do it on less than that. I don't give a fuck. If somebody gave me that type of money, I'd be out of this fucking country. Well, what if somebody is listening to the podcast say Vinnie and Joey, I want to do your sitcom,

but we're going to shoot it in Naples. Done in a heartbeat. Right, okay, so let them know that we're willing to travel, right? Fuck yeah. Right. No, no. I don't want to go like the Vietnam, a place like that. No, no hummus.

I don't want to go with there's no hummus. I don't like hummus. No, no. I don't like fucking a lot of food. So the food's got to be fucking acceptable. You know me, I'm picky. I went to Jamaica. I saw skinny chickens.

I was on the next plane. I don't deal. I don't want to eat skinny chickens. I want my chickens to have steroids. I want them to get kicked in the head a couple times. I want them to be in a cage. I'm one of those motherfuckers. I'm picky about food.

So if we go to Italy, we're good. No, we're going to know. We're good. Joey, Joey, listen, listen, we're forming something here right now. We're going to put our heads together. And you watch, when people watch this show, they're going to say, you know, Vinny and Joey can be great on a sitcom.

Let's create a sitcom for that. But I think, you're right. I'm playing cars, and you show up, and I say, who are you? And you say, I'm your brother. I'm a way. 23 of me. Okay? That's a great idea.

So, okay. Okay, so... Our mother had an affair with a fucking Cuban dude. And you're like, how dare you talk to me like that? My mother was with my father for 40 years. Right. That's exactly. That's exactly.

My mother didn't even like Marengay music. You can't tell me about what you did in St. Sanuic. You can't even give me a character's name? Nothing. What did you sign? I signed my life away. It's better than I don't get in trouble.

Just watch the movie. In fact, when they show it, I'll probably take you. with me and we'll watch it together and you can give me notes on my fucking acting how's that invite me to the premiere what are you talking about okay so we'll be there sitting together you called the kid sanson okay when he was shooting he said go hang out with viny okay good good and this came me up Nikki Nikki you gave my number somebody gave my number I didn't give me my I didn't give me a number Nikki I think Nikki lip gave my number the kid my number and then

he came to class and I just talked to me yesterday how's he doing Samson. He's down in Arizona. He was in Texas. Oh, in Texas. He's down in Texas now. Where does he live?

I thought he moved somewhere because he was bored in L.A. what was going on, something like wherever he was living, so he either went to Arizona or the Texas. I'm not sure. Oh, I don't know, but where's he from

original? I think he's from California. I'll give him a call tonight and check up on him. He called me a few weeks ago to check, and he's a good kid. Did you ever have him on your show? No. No, not.

Well, I don't want to steal my idea, you'd just see my idea, but you should have, uh, just before the Sopranos things, the sequel comes out. Yeah, you should have John on. Yes. You should have, uh, Tony Soprano Michael on. You should have all the kids on. Yeah, John's coming on. I'm going to have, uh, John Berndtall come on.

Really? Well, you know, then from Grudge Match. Yeah, I met him, I met him a little before Grudge Match. We have a mutual friend. Yeah. So he was always very good to me. But listen, I know you had a prior appointment, and I don't want to keep you from it.

I want to thank you because because of you, you opened up the door for me. And I always wanted you to do a podcast because after you went on the Sopranos, I booked more jobs than I could even fucking handle. Yeah, I can imagine. So, yeah. So thank you very much.

What are you saying, Joey? What are you saying? What I'm saying is that you opened up the door for Joey Diaz to get a bunch more Italian roles and whatnot. And I want to thank you for that. Well, Joey, I love you. Talk to coming on our show as soon as possible. We start taping next week.

Come on. Let's start doing some stuff together. You know why? I'm going to tell you something. I'm not going to make you feel sad. We got through this. Yes, we did. you know talking to be about shots and stuff

we lost a lot of our friends Joseph Arrow just passed away from the Sopranos the other day he was on colleagues a good actor we got through this and I think the best thing to do is just to start doing things together why not what are we selfish we can't help each other out what kind of a world is that you know I'm happy I had this conversation with you

because now I was telling my wife I needed to do something else to fill the voice left by stand-up and this will be it I'll have my start you send me your email I'm not going to say it again send me your links I'm going to start inviting you to our stuff but it's up to you show we to put the time in the effort it's just like anything like Bruce Lee it's sitting in back here Bruce Lee would have never been Bruce Lee if he didn't put the work in that's a beautiful way I love you Vinny thank you very much for taking the time to come on today how do students get on to your acting class if they want to

to join? Well, my next workshop is all filled up. I had 22 spots and we just filled up today. And then I think I may have one more, but then I'm going to go in person. And when I go in person starting in September, that's when you get out of your house, you come through the tunnel, you come sit in my class, you sit there and you observe. And I'm going to say, ladies and gentlemen, my guest today is Joey Diaz, and you ask the actors questions. That's what I want you to start doing okay done i love you and i don't tell people they're going to do things

with me and then i change my my you know my mind i'm not like that you know and i believe in friendship and you and i are friends and i love you and good luck with your podcast and if you don't come on my podcast now i'm coming over to your house and i'm going to shoot your dog good i'm coming on in two weeks i love you vinny take care of yourself you look good god bless you

thank you Joe, you look good, too. All right. You got it. All right, bye. Bye, bye, Joey. Bye, buddy. All right, you cock suckers.

I hope you enjoyed that. You see that? It was a great little podcast, a great little Zoom. We talked about me fucking going to his acting classes. We fucking pitched the show right on the fucking podcast. Hopefully somebody of interest will be watching it. We gave you a fucking idea. Dos her mono.

And there you go. That's Wednesday's podcast. And that's another episode of the joint down the fucking tubes. Whether you like it or not, that's up to you. I'm just happy that you're here. Have a great weekend. I'm happy you enjoyed your 420. I'm happy you enjoyed the podcast this week.

Have a great week, and we'll be back fucking Monday, the last week of April, steaming right through into fucking May, cock suckers. Don't forget the UFC on Saturday. It's going to be great. Don't forget to use draft kings. I love you, cock suckers. Stay black. Have a great weekend.

See you Monday. All right. Thank you for watching me and Vinny today. It was a great little fucking time, like I said in the rapper. But anyway, the joint is brought to you by ExpressVPN. Listen to me. With ExpressVPN, you can trick the computer

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Watch what you want and protect your privacy at expressvpn.com slash Joey. The joint is also brought to you by Manscape, one of my favorite fucking products in the whole world. Why? Because I take two showers a day. I like my asshole to smell good, and I like my ball sack to smell good,

but I want it to look good too. If your fucking asshole looks like that dude that paints Bob Ross, if your dick looks like that, then you got fucking problem. You shouldn't have a fucking, a fucking afro on your fucking, dick you understand me you gotta trim that shit down women are sucking your pipe and they smell that it smells like a fucking gyro do you want your balls to smell like a gyro be like your uncle joey i'm a fat fuck but my balls are clean and fucking beautiful they smell magnificique thanks to fucking

manscape why because you get to turn it up with the perfect package it features the lombo at 3.0 the best trimmer known to man it's a third generation fucking trim this is science working for you You ever go to trim your fucking nutsack? You fucking pray to God, please I don't cut my dick off. It's our biggest fucking fear. But it's over with fucking manscape. Why? Because they have advanced, given, safe technology that won't nick or snag your fucking nut sack.

And you got to get the fucking complete package. A complete performance package. You're like, Joey, why? Why? Because you get the crop preserver. You get the crop reviver, and you get the crop ball wipes. Okay? These are here right here.

You put those in your wallet just in case you bump into a cocksucker. Look, it's one pH balance wipe. These are tremendous. And you can see I'm all out of the reviver because I'm trying to revive my nuts at fucking 58. But they're sending me a new package. We've got a new surprise coming for you, motherfuckers. And now you can smell as good as your balls with that cologne called Refined, which is in the bathroom.

I use that too because gentlemen prefer smooth balls. So right now, today, you need to get the performance package. It's Wednesday. It's a beautiful day to be alive. Go to manscape.com slash Joey. Right now. Right now, I'm going to give you 20% off and free shipping. Nobody treats your balls as good as Manscape does.

Take advantage of this. Why have an ugly dick and an ugly ball sack? And then you're like, no girl stick around. Well, take a look at your dick and your nutsack. Take a list with your nutsack. If it smells like fucking sourcrout, you got a fucking problem, my friend. So go to manscape.com slash Joey. I want to thank Manscape and I want to thank ExpressVPN.

I want to thank you guys for watching and supporting the podcast every fucking week. I want to thank Vinnie Pastor for coming on and that's it and that's that. It's Wednesday. I'm still fucking coming down from last night and that's all I need to tell you. Have a great week. Thank you for listening and stay black. It's over. It's like one of those magic fucking tricks.