The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #060 - MIKE BOCCHETTI | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT

Episode Date: April 28, 2021

Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint..... It's Wednesday, April 28th..... Today, it's Uncle Joey talks with one of his oldest friends in Stand-Up, Mike Bocchetti..... This episode is brought to you by DraftKings & Onnit...... Go to https://www.DraftKings.com Promo Code: JOEY Go to https://www.onnit.com Promo Code: JOEY or CHURCH And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #MikeBocchetti Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... You can find Ben here: Ben Telford Visuals Cinematography and Visual Promotion Agency, Ontario, Canada [e-mail] Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/b_telford or https://www.instagram.com/bentelfordvisuals  

What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? It's Wednesday. The 28th of April. We did it. We're almost fucking done. Fucking April showers. Bring May flowers, cock suckers. But anyway, the joint is brought to you by Draft Kings.

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April. Where the fuck did the month go? All I got to tell you is wash your dick before you fucking piss because you don't want to give COVID to somebody in their mouth in case you get a little fucking, I just read, I swear to God, I don't know if it was a joke, I don't know if it was a fucked up article about some dude in Montana or something that got a rash on his penis

and they thought it was COVID. I've been telling you motherfuckers, watch your goddamn ass. COVID cock, I don't know. I don't fucking know, only in Montana. He needs something, but yeah, this is the way it is now. Just wash your fucking hands. please we eliminate the flu

if you haven't noticed we eliminate the fucking flu by washing your fucking hands so the thing I read the most that fucked me up was that 80% of people are not showing up for the second shot Jesus Christ Jesus fucking Christ what are you fucking scared of America

get your shit together even Joey went down there the biggest pussy scared of needles went down there would I have gone there for a second shot not really so I don't know what the fuck I'm complaining about because fucking 80 percent of people are not showing up that's a fucking gigantic number do you understand me so I don't know what the fuck you guys are thinking I don't give a fuck it's your world

whatever you want to do it's up to you listen it's over it's time to fucking go out we've been in the house for a fucking year so watching fucking bad TV bad podcast including this one bad everything so it's time to get out and get loose motherfucker because I think Biden yesterday said no more fucking mask. I got to double check that, but you know what? I'm going to wear my mask for as long as I have to. I want to double check. I don't want no fucking Malukis.

I don't want no misunderstandings. I don't want nothing. We've made it through this far. Fuck it, all right. I don't need to go anywhere. I'm sticking to my plans, you know. I'm fucking just enjoying the summer with my family. You know, it's so funny.

they're opening up the store and people are already running back to California. So this is going to be a very interesting thing to see, guys. I don't know what's going on. I don't really care. You know, when I moved, I left that world behind me and I'm very happy I did. I mean, I have a couple. I talk to my friends. I check in with them.

I know what's going on, but I'm really not aware of everything that's going on today. It's kind of weird. I've been caught up in this world in Jersey. I'm caught up with my family. You know, I'm caught up with my health. I'm trying to, you know, get a little stronger, make the podcast better every day. You know, I've been writing a few jokes, and that's not bad.

Nothing that's going to fucking blow your wig off your fucking head. I mean, there's nothing genius here. There's no Dave Chappelle, eight minutes and 29 seconds. There's nothing. But I'm writing, and that's a start. That's something on a positive fucking note. And that's because I'm getting better with the guitar. Don't get me wrong.

I'm not going to bring back Zeppelin. I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is that I could see myself feeling more comfortable with it. And it's like I've been telling you for years, guys, nothing happens on the fucking couch. Nothing. I would love for something that happened on the couch. So you know what I do?

I don't even sit on the couch and I play my little fucking guitar. I come back here. I bring my little fucking laptop. I finally clean the screen. Thank you guys. That's my war lab. You know what I'm saying? That's got COVID. That's got VD. That's got a ton of shit on that screen. God knows what the fuck is on there. I finally wiped it down. But what happened was it wasn't really that bad. It was that the light in my other office just beams off it and it made it look that bad. So I wiped it. You guys that are concerned. You're happy now. You know what I'm saying? I give you a lock and all you're worried about is the fucking screen that's dirty. That's where your head is at. You know what I'm saying? So who gives a fuck? Today's podcast, today's guest. is my whole life changed in the early 90s.

I mean, when I got on stage, I got a lot of guys on Patreon now that are, you know, thinking of doing comedy, a couple people have hit me up on Facebook, and it's interesting to read their emails. And I tell them all the same thing. Listen, guys, you're going up on stage for the first time. Nobody's going to expect Bill Burr to show up.

Nobody expects Bill Burr to show up. Just get on stage. I, listen, don't even worry about it. the material i don't go i don't give a fuck if you get on stage and whistle for 10 minutes just get on stage it usually it's going to be three minutes and the first time you get on stage every minute seems like an hour you can't fucking believe it you're like i got three minutes when is this when is this portrait i'm gonna end but you keep going you keep showing up you know and it tastes you it took me two years to really understand what i was doing that's why one one

When I look at videos from other people, sometimes at night, after I do all my guitar homework, I'll go to a video. Like some guy last night was teaching how to play, I stay away by Allison Chains. Trust me, I looked at the video, my head almost blew up. It was confusing as fuck.

It doesn't matter. I'm looking to see what's ahead. And eventually, I will get there. I know I will get there because of my comedy background. You will get there. Put your head down, take the earbeaten's, take the abuse, and keep going, keep showing up, and eventually you will move up that ring. I will guarantee you.

But 93 was a very crucial year for me. I was beat up in Boulder. I was all fucked up on drugs. It was the tail end. I mean, listen, I was fucked up on drugs, my whole fucking goddamn life. But this was one of those times when I was down and out. And I came to New York City. I go, when you're down and out and you are lost, you have to go back home.

You have to find your way home, like I kind of did this time. I was a little lost. I was a little disoriented. I was doing great comedy-wise. The church was doing great, but I wasn't living the life I was living. So, you know, when you usually do these type of things, it's to get strength again, you know. I'm not saying I'm going to leave Jersey and get the fuck out of it once this all blows over. Not at all.

What I'm saying is I came back here in 93 to get strength again. strength and I started dabbling in comedy I want to take a chance in New York see what's going on listen if it if it happens if you could fucking make it happen in New York you can make it fucking anywhere that was my fucking thinking so I started doing little spots in the city you know a lot of people didn't want me to come back I sucked that bad but one place that was my home was the New York Comedy Club was owned by a gentleman named Al Martin and he saw something in me and he would let me come to the city whenever the fuck I wanted to. I mean, at that time, it was like stand-up, New York would let me do spots.

The comic strip would just abuse me. And New York Comedy Club gave me love. And that was the start of many great things for me. But that was where I started to create comedy relationships. And one of the guys that befriended me at that time was Michael Balshetti. he was a sweetheart to me he taught me the ropes at the club you know what I'm saying he's the one that got me in there

and I would try to go down there anytime Mike was there I think I had his number and we would communicate and stay in touch and they got to the point well I'll talk about even in the Zoom my friends would make fun of me they were like you suck you should fucking be more like Mike Bichetti he's got jokes you got no fucking jokes you know it was it was mind-boggling with my friends but listen my Jersey friends

are like me. You know, we're very fucking cut and dry. We're not going to blow smoke up your ass. They told me, you suck. So I was, in fact, a little jealous of the shetty, and then I was like, how can I be jealous of this guy? You know, I'll be there someday. That's when all that shit ended.

I was like, you can't, there's no competition in this game. When you start competing with your friends is where you're going to fucking lose. And will they give everything to Mike? I don't get nothing. Work, bitch. Work. You want something? Work for it.

They're not going to give it to you. Obviously, he's doing it. doing the right thing and you're not Joey. So by me being friends with Mike and me doing spots at the old triple in, I actually put the pieces together to become a comedian. I went back to Colorado in October of 93 after about eight months of doing spots

at the New York Comedy Club and getting stronger. I still sucked, but I had a direction. And I never, ever, ever forgot Michael Bouchetti. I always was like, what the fuck ever happened to him? You know, we went our own ways. Another guy that was lurking at that club in 93 was Jimmy Florentine. He was over there, and I did not know him. So that just goes to show you the people I was around, that was embarrassed.

You know, when you do comedy, make yourself a little comedy buddy. And you're going to realize I had a comedy buddy in New York. And then I went back to Denver, and I had Jimmy Abada, and I had some other guys, Jeff Sargent. My comedy buddies is there. And Rick Kerns and Todd Jordan. Then when I went to Seattle, I met Josh Wool. and he was my comedy buddy, whatever he got, I got. That's what you need.

You need your support group, even with comedy. The point I'm getting to is, today I bring you Michael Bouchetti on Zoom. I know a lot of you motherfuckers don't want to Zoom, but hey, it's an interview, it's something different, and you get away from me for an hour. I'll be back. Don't worry, bud, I'll be back.

But right now I want to introduce Michael Bichetti, enjoy our little short interview. Mike Bichetti in the motherfucking house. It's been a zillion and a half years, Joe. How are you? Welcome back to New Jersey, first of all, and civilization where everybody will tell you, F off. Fuck, it's been great, man.

It's great to be back. You are my oldest, if I think about it, you are my oldest comedy friend. You befriended me in 1991 at the New York Comedy Club. Oh, yeah. And the thing is, you should always be a good guy to me, because the thing is, Joe,

this whole business has changed from when we started, because years ago you had to work your butt off, do tons of spots, right? You know what I mean? Get in, and now some imbecile on TikTok has your 80 million hits and CA's all over. What are you going to do?

It's the way life is. You just, listen, we pick up poison. You know what I'm saying? You could go on TikTok, you go on cameo, whatever works for you, you know? I mean, if an agent wants, can you imagine that? You know how hard it is to get a phone?

fucking agent. And somebody does a video, they get a million hits, and an agent signs him. And then it's like the guy from fucking, uh, that movie, my private Idaho, whatever that fucking movie, the guy with the shirt, Pablo, whatever that fucking name. What the fuck did he go? He disappeared. I know. He got one good movie.

Will Farrow picked them up for the other movie. And then he did the thing with Comedy Central. And it was so, you know, I'm sick and tired of. Hollywood and all that shit not going with the people who put in the work you watch these sitcoms oh yeah it's it's failed sitcoms that go over and over and over once the sitcom goes down why would you use this person the same person that the sitcom went down with he's a kiss of fucking debt no they don't care we got a new show on ABC and it's the same five fucking faces only reshuffled no they don't get you they don't get it so when I watch TV it

night I go, that's fucking, you know, Mike Machete's spot. That's Jimmy Florentine should be playing that. You know, this guy, I hate when they say, well, he's a comedic, he's a comedian. No, he's not. He's a comedic actor.

There's a guy there with a camera and another guy that says, cut. What we do is fucking raw. Oh, God, yeah. It's uncensored. No, it's true because, and the thing is, one of what you know, I'm still a Mr. Potato Head guy in this house.

You look good, though. Thank you. When was the last time I saw you, brother? Oh, it's been a long, probably early 90s, you think? No, I saw you after that. Didn't you do a podcast with Artie or something? Yeah, I did his podcast, but I think he was supposed to be on there, and then he had some anxiety issues, and then, you know, I think that's what happened, right?

That was what it was. It was the, right? Yes. Yes. You were doing a podcast with him. Yeah, it was fun. I miss him. I haven't spoken to him because the same thing is,

I don't have his current cell number, email, because he changes constantly all the time. And I can't get him. You got to get away from the drug dealers. I know. You got to get away. I wish him all the love in the world. I love that guy with all my fucking heart.

I know that you New York comics love him with all. He's a breadth of fucking fresh air. you know. Oh, yeah. And I'm sure that everybody just wants them to get well. We all do because, Joe, I've been so over 24 years now, St. Patrick's Day. I haven't touched the drink. Was that your poison, alcohol? Oh, it was horrible, Joe.

I would be, if I was still drinking now, you would be grabbing me by my ankles out under the boss someplace and throw me in the back of the car because I would become such an idiot when I drank. Did you go to meeting? Did you go to rehab? Uh, no. I just stopped. I was very blessed because my dad went to AA for me. He was a big believer in that. You know what, Joe?

I, whatever it takes to get you well again, you know what I mean? If you need meetings, perfect. You know, it worked for you. Uh, I just did it on my own, but my dad was a big believer in AA. And the thing is, it works for you to get you well. That's the most important thing. Do you miss it?

Uh, once in a while, like, I'll go to a deli and I'll be like, see a force of blogger, a Bud, or anything I'm like, I need one of those cold bad boys now. Now, how would you feel if he just had one beer with a sausage and pepper sandwich? Would you feel you relapse? Do you think it would become a problem? I mean... Oh, it would be a problem, Joe, because that one would lead to me drinking 12 more

sleeping outside of 7-Eleven. You know, my demon was cocaine. Well. And I know for a fact that I could never... Once I quit it and I was off it for three weeks and whatever, and then it turned into three months, then it turned into three years. I always believed that if I ever touched it again, I would just die.

Like in my world, I think if I cut a line of cocaine up and snort it, I would fucking die on the spot. That's what my belief is. No, you're right, because, and it's so scary, Joe, the people can let themselves get that addicted to stuff. It's really hard. I mean, Joe, I just turn to stuff.

and I lost family friends that were way under 30 to addiction, you know, drug and alcohol. And it's, I don't even know how I made it this far. And some of the other people I know died half my age. You know, I just had surgery and they gave me oxycodones. Oh, no. You know? And it was, I read all about it. I checked in with two junkies that I knew, you know, and I talked to them about it about,

pill use you know I had a friend that had a problem with pills I talked to him about it and he told me that the big thing that there's a difference between oxycodone and oxy cotton oxy cotton is the one that comes in a shell and people break it

and snort it I guess I don't fucking know I had the little five milligrams and you know they it was it was never fun they were okay for two or three days and then I felt how they took over my body.

They made me very emotional. Oh, no. Yeah, it was a fucking nightmare. And I'll tell you what. You don't need that nightmare again. No, oh, no. Thank God. I did him for, uh, I stopped on the oxies, and I started breaking them in half. I would do everything I could just to avoid, just to stay

ahead of the pain. And then I downloaded, I told him I had 13 oxies left. That's it. It's over. Cut me down. He cut me down to Viking. and I didn't do them for like the first two days and then I did a couple of them and they're still in the fucking draw I said it's over I just didn't want to get re-hooked

on anything at 50 fucking eight no no no because I mean not only that Joe the thing is it's horrible to be hooked to anything I mean the only vice you have now is food I got to wash my stuff I mean I like to eat but I mean you know that's bad too if you're not careful well I'll tell you what

when I moved to New Jersey I knew one thing. I know that I could blow up to 400 pounds within 90 days. Wow. And once I got here, I did put on like 20 pounds right off the bat. I put on 20 pounds because everywhere you go, somebody's handing you a slice of pizza. There's always fucking pizza everywhere in Jersey.

You go to any party, you go to a kid's party, they got pizza. And I live in South Jersey, and this is, I'm surrounded by Staten Island and Brooklyn. These motherfucking Italians aren't fucking around. They argue about pizza. They bring it from Staten Island. They're crazy. I know. Joe, they're like handed out calzone's at the Baylon Bridge over there.

I knew it. And between the Chinese food, the fucking Cuban food, the Italian food, I knew I would blow up to 400 pounds. So I went on weight watches even double than what I was doing in L.A. I don't even use butter anymore. Like, that's how scared I am. I've lost, I lost maybe 20 pounds during the surgery. God bless you.

How are you feeling out? I feel good. The knee bothers me from time to time, but you know what? You take a couple Tylenols. You put some ice on the knee, and it's way better than anything else you can fucking do. Absolutely. Ice is fucking tremendous. How much comedy were you doing at the time of the pandemic?

You know what, Joe, it's kind of weird because I, back to, One weird thing about me is I backed off a little, but I started working more acting stuff. I've been taking a class for like 14 months now with Richard Klein. It was awesome. Larry from Tree's company. Okay. I've been taking a lot of improv comedy classes, you know, dramatic improv. But I was doing stuff.

In fact, you know what's crazy. Today's been such a blessing. Being on your show, I also today have my CD on Sirius XM all day today. Good. what a blessing it is it's like on here now with them so when it rains in force this show am I right or wrong right you know Mike man we've done it all you have nothing to prove

you know it's weird when you've done something for 10 years and then you do something for 20 years and now we're both like season fucking veterans this is 30 years and you have all these decisions to make you know and for you it was getting into a dramatic improv class to make yourself better this comedy game with most people at home don't understand is that we're always growing we're always doing things to grow we try the podcast we grew with it you know for

some comics during the pandemic they went on tic-tok that works for them you know i don't know i don't know anything about it god bless all the comics that made it through oh yeah they they had a switch their game up they had to do fucking you know uh zoom shows. I had a, you know, I had a move. I had to pick up and re-root and restart everything. And look, we're here today. We're here today. Well, you have to take a couple of steps back to make some forward. Yes. Yes, absolutely. And I took a little chunk out of my life and, you know, the stand-up hurts a little bit that it's at half capacity and all that shit. I got my shots. How do you feel? I feel like a million bucks. I got it on

one day. Oh, good. I got to get my second one in a few weeks, but how do you feel with the first one? I felt like I was like, yeah, out of it. I got a Johnson and Johnson. Oh, nice. Good. And I got to tell you, it was, uh, it was painless. I want to complain. I would wish I would complain to you. Like, I'm one of those guys, don't go down there. They're going to fucking hurt you. They were the nicest people in the world. I didn't feel it. Uh, I felt a little weird that night. You know, I took the Tylenols, how they recommended. I stayed hydrated.

That's the most important thing to keep drinking fluids. Oh, yeah. And then you'll be, you know, 90%. At least if you get it now, you're not going to end up in that bad as shape, they say. We'll see. Yeah. I mean, I was afraid to get into the first because I was like, you know, what about the side effects, but you know what, Joe?

We've got to end it somehow and back to normal. You know what I mean? You got to take a chance. Well, man, you know, this pandemic has taught us a lot. Oh, yeah. You haven't learned anything during this pandemic, especially about yourself. What you can't, can do, can't do, can't do, can do, and what you could, what we've realized we could, we can do. Like, we realized a lot of things that we had to move forward, stand up and

What the fuck do you want me to do? No clubs are open. What are you going to do? You're going to stand on a corner and do stand up until somebody throws a bottle at you? So you had to reroute your energies during this. For me, I got together with a partner finally and started writing a book.

Oh, nice. For me, I got together with Mike. I got a new producer, and we started this from scratch and fucking people hated me. But I didn't give a fuck. I wanted to start over. I felt bored. I felt

I was in my comfort zone which is never too good It's great to be in a comfort zone For a while That's how you're lazy Right absolutely You know it was too easy I created a paradise

In L.A. for myself I created the paradise That I wanted to And then it became easy Like it was too boring I drove two blocks to do a podcast I drove eight blocks To do a set

I drove two blocks to the gym Two blocks to create cryotherapy two blocks to the weed store I had this little fucking thing in studio city. Yeah, in your own village. I had my own little fucking village and then this pandemic hit. Me and my wife had always spoken about moving back here. We have been speaking about it since

2016. We were going to move back here anyway. This just sped up the fucking process and I'll tell you what, I'm happy I fucking did it. I feel better. I am better. I'm a word. way better person, you know. That's the important thing. That's the most important thing you just said because, Joe, I never lived in LA. I was out there on and off

years, right? I liked it. For some reason, they got my comedy out there for some reason, more than New York. They did. For some reason that, I don't know, Joe, I mean, I was going to ask you, right? It seems like they're like different stuff in LA, more than New York

does. Well, it depends where you go. You know, when you're in Hollywood. Let's say you're at the improv, the laugh factory, or the comedy store. You know, you have to assume there's industry in the room, some type of industry, whatever. And that messes with comics heads. You know, when you first get to L.A., you're thinking somebody's watching you that could change your life. You know, then you realize that nobody could change your life but you.

You're right. Be fucking funny. That's what happens to people in L.A. When you first go to LA, you go on stage thinking fucking Johnny Disney's here. Oh, gosh. Put me in the next fucking Coco. No. No.

Even if he's there, whatever, you have to perform to make them laugh. That's the confusion. A lot of people go to L.A. to become stars. I went to L.A. just to be a comic. And I didn't even want to do that. Like, I didn't think I would survive in L.A., Mike Bichetti. I mean, last time I saw you, we were doing spots. the New York Comedy Club.

I had taken a stand-up writing class there. Okay. The guy was great. I bumped into him 20 years later in L.A. He was a writer on a TV show. I think it was Al Martin who owned the club, right? And we were working out? Oh, Al does. Yeah, he definitely did it at that time.

Absolutely. Does he still own it today? No, another guy does today. Emilio owns it. It's like probably seven, six, seven years. But now, that's where I met you because, but the thing is, Joe, you got me right away comedy-wise, right? And the thing is, you know, being unique and different like I was,

some comics chastonized me in New York. They're like, oh, he's not mainstream, like Seinfeld, or whoever, you know what I mean? And even industry people, they've seen something different come along with like, oh, what is this? Well, you know, I mean, listen, Mike, you want to be different. I would love to be John Mullaney. I would love for my comedy to be Bill Burrs. You know, we all aspire to do something, but at the end, you have to be yourself.

That's the key to comedy, Joe, in life. That's the key to comedy. And when people tell you that in the beginning, there's a lot of young comics that listen to this show. It's such a cliche bullshit line when people say it to you. Just be yourself. Just be yourself.

And you're like, I'm an asshole. You know, I'm a fucking retard. What are you talking about, be myself? What are you talking about? talking about. And then you understand it that what they're looking for is what you bring to the game, that little different aspect. My stand-up is very untraditional. It's not Bill Burr. Me neither. I'm not a monologist. You know what I mean? I'm not that kind of comic. No. No. And you were very funny. Thank you, Joe. So you, but you're yourself like I am.

because I watched the podcast. The thing I like about you is there's no nonsense with you. Like everybody like cowers into people, Joe, they're like, oh my God, they're like, if the curse agents are going to lag me. You know what I mean, right?

Yeah, you don't, you're like, you went on anyway. You didn't have it because they didn't know. Don't shut the fuck up, cocksuckers, because I'm doing a podcast. I know. I told them that earlier.

Sorry. How many kids you got? Are they kids? Oh, no, my family's here, visit me. Okay, good. How many people over there? We got like four or five. And Joe, we got a five-pound chihuahua upstairs, my brother's dog.

A five-pound chihuah. What are you? A Mexican? No, but the thing is, she thinks she's a 90-pound Rottweiler. But what was really interesting about our relationship, but I never told anybody. That's why when you reached out, I'm like, you know what? This is perfect to tell podcast people because they learn.

I want the young comics to tell you. learn that this is where I learned it. In 1991, obviously as you remember, when you performed at the New York Comedy Club or any other club in New York, you had to bring a few people. You know, you had to bring a few people. So, you know, God blessed me with great friends growing up in Jersey, you know, that supported me. They were in shock that I was doing comedy. I really met you in 93. Not 91. 91 is when I started. 93 is when I met you.

March of 93. I lived in New York. I came back here. I was having such a problem in Boulder. And I said, let me go back to New York and give this problem some space. Joe, I thought you were in the mob when I first met.

You looked like a tough guy when you got. Oh, when I got done it. I thought you were mafia member when I first seen you in my club. I was raw back then. When I first met you in 93, I was still doing some crazy shit. Yeah. But I had.

to bring people all the time to the shows and you would always be there. And my friends, till this day, still love you. There's one guy that still says because you used to have a line that said you work in a bakery, you're in charge of the tarts. Oh, can I say

for you? I haven't said you years, but thank you. What was the joke? I worked in handicapped bakery. They put me in charge of the tarts. Oh my God. Look at that. 30 fucking, 28 years later, I still fucking remember this because on the way home, my friends would be tortured me.

They're like, you got to be more like Mike Bichetti. Well, thank you, because they're like, you suck. You got to be more like Mike. And I'm like, cock suckers. So for the first couple days, I'm like, God damn it, I was kind of jealous of you. And then I'm like, bro, I got to do what he's doing. He's different.

He's not doing what anybody else is doing. That's what my friends were telling me. So at first, I was jealous of you. I'm like, fucking Mike Bichetti. my friends would say to me, you got to be more like Mike. And I'm like, fuck you, fuck Mike. What do you mean I got to be more like Mike?

Michael Jordan. What Mike are you talking about? That's funny because, but the thing is, at the end of the day, when I first started, I went to Pipson, Brooklyn, besides New York Comedy Club, right?

And God rest of soul, I was up there. What was his name? A set. Seth. Seth. Seth Schultz, right? I went there.

I was very, dirty at the time Joe. He was wearing a black little jacket. This is what he told me. Speaking of being yourself, he goes, he said, I can see you totally love Andrew and ice clay, which I still do to this day. But you know what he told me? You can't be him and he can't be you. You've got to be yourself in this. And that stayed with you. Yeah. That stayed with you for a long fucking time, Mike. Joe, I actually met him years ago. And when I first met, I wanted to have a funny story about him. I met Andrews ice clay in 2005 for the first time at Carolines, right?

Jim's warranty, introducing him with Don James. They opened it for a much of the time, right? And I went over to him, Joe. I was like a nine-year-old kid and a new kid from a block concert, like a little, like so excited to meet him. And he broke my boss the first time. And I'm like, whoa, you know. But then I met him a couple of times, but Joe, he became a good guy to me.

When I was in an audience show, he hugged me, right? And he told me I became a fan of yours now after watching you. And that, like, blew my mind to hear that because, Joe, for 30 years, I watched him. And for him to tell me that, it was like one of them, an Emmy. Mike Boshetti, I came out of prison, and for New Year's Eve, they put me in a halfway house when you get out of prison. And for New Year's Eve, I rented out the room in the halfway house. I think they charged me 50 bucks and I played his special

for people. The one from Philadelphia, the one that blew him up, you know? Oh, yeah. So you and I were both products of Andrew Dice Clay. I mean, I was a product of Richard Pryor. I loved Richard Pryor.

Oh, Richard. Nobody liked him. Andrew was who pushed me on to this stage because when I saw Andrew, I said to myself, Jesus Christ, this motherfucker is saying what I think. Oh, yeah. What I think on a daily basis, this fucking guy is repeating.

So I have to have a chance at this because I'm not the only one that thinks this way. No, me either. When somebody comes up to you, would you like to buy a flower for the lady? Why don't you take that flower and let me plant it in your ass? All that shit, that's the way I used to think, but I couldn't let people know that. No. I lived in Colorado and people were nice and stuff, and I'd be like, what the fuck? In my mind, I'd be, I'd be thinking.

thinking like Andrew Dice Clay. Oh, it's a lot different there, Joe. Like other parts of the country that would lay back and chilled out and like, you can't be Joe Pesci in Idaho. Yeah, no, no. But Andrew, for me,

was like the first year that I saw him at the store. I did not have the balls to go up to him. For all you people at home that think that you go up to people, I didn't approach Andrew Dice Clay, even though I was a regular at the store and doing spot.

in front of him, you know, following him, you know, I would go up at one and he would go up at fucking ten. I didn't have the balls to go up to him. One night he came up to me to settle an argument. And I chimed in and that's how we became friends. Well, because Joe, I don't like approaching famous people at all. I get very laid back, you know what I mean? Because unless I know to know them or get introduced to them, because I don't know how they are as people, first of all. You know what I mean, right? And second of all, like, if you're working on stuff you've done, I mean, it's not time to take out a, you know,

a Hawaiian shirt and take a million pictures of these people but doing stuff with them. And regular people don't get that sometimes. How long did you stay at the New York Comedy Club after I left? How many years were you there? Oh, God. I was there. I left there back in, like, 1999, but I still haven't been there probably like three or four years.

But it changed a lot, I mean, physically. I mean, it's fucking, I sit here, I'm looking at you, and I still see that same kid from fucking 28 years ago. You know, it's just crazy. It's so great to see you. It's been forever because. It's great to see you, too, man. And Joe, we have a couple of friends in commoner I love that we know for years. Someone wanted me to tell you hi, actually, what are you called, Christy Miller.

How is she doing? She's really cool because she keeps talking about it. She goes, I love the. because from the comedy store and you know what she was very cool to me to try to help me reach out to you Felicia Michaels I know for a million years

Great lady, great lady I'm going to give her a call today as a matter of fact I haven't spoken to in a few weeks And I was wondering where the fuck she's been But yeah they're both Solid motherfuckers Doug So I never I went to the comedy store

The only place I've went to in L.A. The spot when I was out there Was the improv in L.A. I'd never been on at the factory or the store I went to the comedy store like five years ago, right? Stadang there. You know who I went into, and they were so nice to me there.

Martin Lawrence, I ran into him outside, and he talked to me for like 20 minutes, because all I said to him, Joe was, I loved you one of the TV show Martin. That's all I had to say to him, right? We just talked about everything but comedy for like 20 minutes.

One of the coolest people ever met my life. You know, it's really weird when you have a great experience with people. You know, I mean, you went up to Martin Lawrence, you didn't know what he was going through. You didn't know if his wife served him with divorce papers that day. You didn't know if his kids spilled milk on his fucking stereo.

People don't know the moment before you see that celebrity, what they're thinking. And, you know, you approach people. You know, you try, like, I remember seeing Richard Gear, and I fucking hated him at the time, but I didn't have the balls to go up to him. I wouldn't, I would never think of going up to him. But it is pretty night. Like, yeah, dad went together. steak. And as I was walking in, some guy looked at me and he goes, is that you? And I go,

it depends who you think it is. He was an African-American kid, really sweet kid, you know, didn't ask for a picture. At that time, I didn't have the COVID shot, you know, so I wouldn't take a picture anyway. But we had such a pleasant little conversation, 12-minute conversation about comedy. We shook hands and we left. He felt good about the conversation, and I felt really good about the conversation. It's the conversations where they, where people try to get too much from you, I think that,

because I've been on a set of movies where I've been talking to a major star about, you know, what's going on at the moment there. It's not like I'm telling them about my personal life or that I smoke pot or whatever. I'm asking them about a scene in a movie or something. And I've seen how they are. You know, I've seen how they've reacted to me.

They're short, they're long, they're into it, you know. And I never judged them. You know, that's why it kills me when people go, I worked on a movie and I worked with Justin Bieber. Oh, my God, he's so cool. You dumb fuck. You saw him for two days for three hours. That's it.

Yeah. You really don't know them. Like you said, because, Jill, you said earlier, it makes so much sense because when you meet somebody, You do not know what on in their life that day. No. You have no fucking idea. You know, I spent 17 weeks with Adam Sandler.

Well. I'll go up in front of a fucking Bible, put my hand on it, and I'll, you know, testify in open court that he was one of the best bosses I ever had in my life. And he was a great guy. But I was around him for 17 fucking weeks, six days a fucking week. I got to see him on his bad days.

I got to see him on his good days. And he was a gentleman. at every fucking single opportunity. I never met him, but I mean, you stand him as well in his movies, and I don't know, sometimes you can't lie who you are on camera. You know what I mean?

For some reason, it's like, I mean, I picture all the characters he plays, you know, that's part of him, and I picture he must be a cool guy like that. You know what I mean? Because certain people, you can't hide it sometimes. No, you know, when I think of him,

in real life, I think the most, The picture that reflects who he is the most is 50 first dates. I really liked him to 50 first dates. I didn't watch any of his earliest stuff. I watched the, I'll be honest right now, you know, I watched Happy Madison and I didn't like it. I didn't like that style of humor, so I didn't,

I didn't become an Adam Sandler fan until I worked for Adam Sandler. And then I watched every movie, and I watched it from a different perspective. I had heard there was some problems on the set of Happy Madison where even the director didn't like what was going on and he went in and complained about him and they fired him and so I was never read I didn't I didn't hate Adam Sandler I just didn't like his movies at the time

that's what I'm trying to say oh yeah once I read for him met him it was fucking like a breadth of fresh air because he really I don't know how to say this he ruined the curve that's what I'm trying to say because

I thought that everybody was going to turn out to be like Adam and boy was I wrong I've worked on. He's on talk to you about you. No I've worked with some fucking douchebags that people think are great people you know people if you talk to them all that person is so great

I've been on the set with him for two weeks that person's a fucking scumbag I won't say that because it's not for me to say Oh, of course. But I've worked with some fucking great... I was watching... What's that show? I'm dying up here.

You know? It's on Showtime. It's about the comedy store. The lady who's the star of that movie who plays Mitzi Shore, per se. I never met her, Joe. I was dying to meet her forever. I never got to pleasure meeting by.

Not Mitzi Shore, but the lady who plays Mitzi Shore and I'm dying up here, I did two. episodes of that show and I had to spend a day with her like four hours in a room which is me and her having a conversation but something had happened so her and I got stuck in this room talking and I'll tell you what it was a fucking when I left there my dick was hard because she was everything I thought she could be like she

was sweet she was fucking smart you know when I looked at her the first two takes I did with her and I'm not ashamed to say that this, I fucked up just from looking at her. Of course. You get intimidated. Yeah, you get intimidated. You're like, this fucking person, she played opposite Denzel Washington and the equalizer.

She played on this. It blows your mind. And here you are doing lines with her. And you're just a dirty comic from the fucking comedy store from Jersey. I'm just a dirty fucking comic from Jersey. So I'm sitting there going. And she was so sweet to me. Like, I've, I love to write a book.

of the actors who saved my fucking life on the set. I did SVU, that lady Marista, whatever. Haggardie, right? I think was fucking tremendous. She was tremendous. It was the coldest day ever in New York City, and it was me and her. And she's like, why are you standing out here?

Coming here with me? And I'm like, this is tremendous. I'm in a hallway with this fucking girl from SVU, and she's talking to me, and she's being nice and sweet. Some people are just great people all around. Some people, and you know what, when, to be a good actor, to be a good comic, to be a good, like, to be good at those things, you have to have a great side of humanity to you. You got to be a good humanist right.

You got to, like to get the good results from comedy, you got to pull the younger people up. Of course. You got to help them. Not, listen, I bumped into 200 scam artists in the last 10 years. that thought that coming on a podcast, it was going to change their life. I'm not talking about those guys. I was talking to your producer about that earlier. Joe, how much have you been annoyed by people?

That's why I was very cautious when I reached that to you because I know you had an army of animals harassing. Like, Joe, what's up, baby? Hey, pal. You know, let me meet all kinds of nonsense some idiots. Well, you know, the Hollywood scene. You know, everybody's your buddy. Everybody's your pal. It's like life.

When you got a bag of blow, it's tough to have enemies. You know what I'm saying? If you show up with a big bag of blow, everybody loves you. They forgot about all your fucking past discrepancies and everything. You know, I helped the people who I saw were helping themselves. If I saw a guy like Carmen Morales busting her ass at the store, I reached out to her. If I saw, you know, Jessica Wellington at the store fighting for her life, I reached out to those young comics because I was one of those comics at one time.

And all I needed was something to give me a glimpse. of hope for 90 days. Oh, yeah. When you're a comic, when you're in the arts, when you're a human being, you need a glimmer of hope every 90 days to give you hope for the next 90 days. Easily, because the best thing I like about Sandler is,

he brought Henry Winkler back to life. Well, not back to life, because you know why? People still know the Fonz of Henry for years, maybe not on screen, but he was producer and directing stuff, but he helped give him a whole new generation of people through the Omigat. And that's what this is all about at the end of the day. You know, when people get mad at Joe Rogan

for getting a hundred million fucking dollar deal and now they're pissed off at him and this. Mother idiots. They don't understand that he lifted up 200 fucking comics. They're morons, you know why? Because they just, first of all, they just want to, look, this has been my philosophy. loss of your life. Okay, when something bad happens to you or whatever, you know, if you can

control it and change it, do it, right? But if it's out of your control, just live with it and try to move on and that's it because don't be a cry baby. You don't seem to arrest and brag about other people. Just keep going. I knew the people that I saw people at the comedy store. I saw people at the improv. I saw people at the ha-ha. I saw comics that had that look in their eye, and I would say to them, hey, you want to come on the podcast? And I would see them, you know, do things afterward. And it would make my dick hard.

Well, I hate when people think that, well, by going on a podcast, you're going to fuck, it's going to change your life. That's the people I didn't want on my podcast. No, they think they're going to be 20 movies after that. I didn't want those people. Those are the same people that think that if you go on Rogan, you're going to get a Hollywood deal.

No, those are not. You're not going to get a Hollywood deal. When I went on Rogan, I knew it would give me a light. But now that light, I had to fill it. I had to prove myself after that. And some people came on for the ride, and some people didn't, you know? Of course, Joe. People think, you know, it's going to be one thing that's going to put you over the top.

It's a, I mean, I'll give you, it's not. What were you going to say? You'll give me an example. Oh, Joe, I want to tell you one quick, funny thing. I was in the movie with a family, but Robert De Niro. Okay. I was up for one of the roles of an FBI agent gotten him. I was in callbacks for it.

I didn't get it. But the director, Luke Bissan, liked me a lot. He cast for me as a acidic Jewish guy being held at gunpoint by De Niro. Listen to this, Joe, I got to the set that day. Oh, I'm sorry. I got to the set that day, right? My heart stopped when I seen D'Nero on the set, right? Joe, I didn't talk to him at all.

mind of my business, right? Then he started laughing for me, right? On the set, Joe, I mean, working with people like him, and you work with Sandler, they have such an energy. I mean, when you do in a scene with them, they pull you in like a vacuum. It's crazy. It's so hard to explain, like, Joe, you get on the set with Adam.

He pulls you with like a vacuum act-wise, am I right or wrong? Like Sandler, like De Niro pulled me in, like, when I was in the scene with him, I've seen Jimmy Conway come out of him. I've seen all kinds of characters come out of him on that scene. It was mind-blowing. I've said the same story about him that when I did a scene with him, the first time he came up to me,

it was like cut the first two scenes because you see Jimmy Conway, you see taxi driver, you see all these, you know, you see all this characters that he played. But I'm going to tell you something. When I did Grudge match with him, I went to the set the day before I was supposed to shoot, Just to look around.

You know, me, we're hustlers. You got to go down there and see what the box is going on. So I went down and it was so funny. I watched him and L.L. Kul J. do their first scenes together. Well. They were talking. They were, you know, having a great time. Next thing, you know, cameras are on them.

Sure enough. First two or three scenes. L.O. KooJ couldn't focus. And then I was like, that's weird. They were just having a great time. The next day, when I did my scene, with him and it happened to me. That's when I realize why it happened to L.L. Cool J.

Because once you're focused with those guys and it's just you and him, you're like, oh my God, this is the guy from fucking Goodfellers. This is the guy from Godfather, too. This is the guy from this, mean streets. And it just fucks with your head. It's like, I believe that that's what happens to people

before they fight Cona McGregor. Oh, yes. They cite themselves out and they forget what the fuck is going on. Conna McGregor is just a human being. He's a great fighter, but he's just a human being. You know, that's what I think happened to Dustin Porriere. Dustin Porriere, fought him the first time, got caught up by the lights and the glamour,

went down the second time he knew what happened to him, exactly what not to fall for. And he beat him. He attacked him. I'm not putting anybody down here. I'm just stating what I think happens to you. Of course, because it's concentration and focus because, Joe, that's like a boxing in the ring with Ali, and I'm thinking, I'm going to have a bologna sandwich with dinner to murder you.

I hear you, buddy. I hear you. Mike Bichetti, I'm happy that you reached out. I'm so glad you have to thank you

for having me, Joe, because it's been a million years because, first of all, Joe, I have a funny feeling

after this. Comics are going to be like, dude, what's up? Now people are in this, you know? I don't give a fuck. You know,

I don't care either. That's why I'm on here. You know? I just wanted the world to know that you and I go back to 1993. Thank you, Joe.

I want the world to know that I was jealous of you at one time I'm not a fucking, you know, I'd tell it like it is. I was very jealous of you until I saw what you were doing and you opened up my eyes. It was so good. I would love to see you in person when we can because once this thing is over, I'm getting my final shot.

17th, I hope to see you live. What clubs do you usually go to New York City? You know, whoever will put me up. Which one? so far. I like first of all, New York Comedy Club, Gotham. I did stuff at the West Side

which opened recently, stand up New York, and Caroline. So I love those for the rest of them. You know, but Joe is so incredible to see you virtually anyway. I'll take this and give it a month and I'll see you somewhere in the city and give you a hug.

Deal. Thank you, Joe. I love you, buddy. Thank you for being my oldest friend in comedy. What does this come out? soon a few days. Soonish. I'll keep you posted. Thank you, Joe. Thank you.

You're best. Have a great thing. Thank you for everything. I love you. Thank you, Joe. What's happened, you bad motherfuckus? I hope you enjoyed our little chit-chat, our little te-tote with my main man,

Michael Bouchetti. It was great to, you know, it's been years. So I wanted to just, I wanted to show you guys that I had roots even back in New York and the early 90s. I just didn't fucking show up here, guys. This is all based on hard. work and boredom and abuse and fucking, you know, drug use and drug abuse.

There was a bunch of things involved here. But I realized I ended up getting to a plateau, but it all started with the things I learned in 93 and Michael Bouchetti befriending me and letting me know that I was on the right fucking pat. Listen, I want to thank you guys for a great week of podcast, a great month of podcast. We tried our best. We're trying to get the feel. I know a lot of years don't like the Zoom.

I know a lot of years like me straight up, and that's exactly what we're going to do. We have another great Zoom for you next week and another great podcast. I'm not going to tell you who it is, and we're going to keep moving fucking forward, because that's what we do. If you want more of Joey Dears, I'm on Patreon.

The NFTs are coming soon. I'm going to be doing them through Patreon and probably putting them online. So we got a little couple things going on for you motherfuckers that have been bugging me. We have an interested, publisher so hopefully this week we'll have a little conference call with a publisher for the book at least we're getting there there's no been no offers made nothing like that but i just want to let you

know that this is what i've been doing during this period every day three days a week me and erika talking for you guys uh listen i always put pictures up of edibles to fuck with you guys you know my friends send me edibles they come back they bring me edibles i'm not doing anything it's so weird how I haven't even smoked today. That's how crazy it is. I was talking to Rogan the other day, and I'm like, rogues, I'm smoking a fucking third of what I was smoking. And I had some shit.

I went out to dinner with a friend of mine Sunday night. It was like we had nothing to do. And next thing, you know, me and my wife were headed to dinners with different fucking people was great. And I went to a restaurant and took my mask off, and I was sitting in there, and there was a couple people in the restaurant. So I kind of felt weird. Right away, you got like the fucking sore throat.

You come home and you're like, I got a sore throat. You know, your mind plays tricks on you. So I smoked that night and fucking my lung starter. I'm like, fuck. I got COVID now because you could still get COVID, even if you get the vaccine. It's just not so severe.

But the numbers are down of 0.9 or whatever. Who gives a fuck? Listen, there's a light at the tunnel. We made it through. I was here with you guys since last March doing podcast. I took one month off and I stuck it out with you motherfuckers. And I let you know, if you listen to those podcasts from March and April, the church of 2020, you'll know I was telling you that this day was always coming.

We just had to be patient, take care of ourselves, stay safe, and we're here. That's it. We're going to have a great fucking summer. Have a great week. I want to thank all my sponsors this week. Draft Kings, on it, CBD Line. Don't forget the register for the PlayStation and ZipRecruiter. They were always great.

I love my fucking sponsors. Anyway, I love you guys. Thank you for enjoying it. And we'll be back Monday, May 3rd, tip top Magoo, the beginning of a whole new fucking month. I love you, Cox Suckers. Have a great week and a great weekend. You know where to find me. Love you.

All right, Cox Suckers. I want to thank Mike Boshetti. I want to thank On it. But most importantly, I want to thank you guys. I want to thank Draft Kings. I want to thank you guys for listening, for enjoying, for trying something new. You know, I'm fucking swinging for the bats here. I'm trying myself, guys.

This is all new for everybody. But before we go, listen to me, it's going to be a quiet weekend. People aren't looking to fucking do anything. This is the perfect time to hit draft kings because they're not hyping anything. You understand me? Nice and easy. The NBA is right there for you. You're getting ready for the NBA playoffs.

You got Major League Baseball. The lines are still a little fucking light. You can pick yourself a winner. You know, if you're having problems, look up to Danny B. Sports. go and look at the Philly Godfather for help. Whatever the fuck. Whoever can help you. I'm not telling you that you're going to go make a million dollars on Draft King.

What I'm telling you, it's fun. You keep it fun. If you want to go on there, they got one of the best online casinos in the fucking world. Listen, Draft King's Sportsbook app is one of the best fucking apps out there to gamble on that you could ever want in your life. So do me a favor. Download it right now today.

Pressing Code Joey and get your motherfucking party started. You're like, Joey, what are you talking? You're going to get your party started light. Maybe Friday night, an NBA game, maybe Saturday, a little Major League baseball game. Sunday night, they got that Major League Baseball on ESPN. You can bet the game while you're watching. I'm not telling you to bet 500 or 600. I'm not trying to create a problem here.

All I'm telling you is to look at it as a way to have fun. Download the Draft King Sportsbook app. Take a look at what the fuck is going on tonight and press in code Joey to get your party started. Real quick, this is what the attorneys make me say. Tennessee, Colorado, New Jersey only, okay? I don't want no fucking problems. And if you got a gammon problem, 1,800, go with it. I don't know what it is in Indiana.

I fucking forgot. But if you got a gammon problem, take care of your problem. But if not, download the Draft King Sportsbook app and get your party started with fucking joy. I've been telling you this is January, and you're still sitting there scratching your head. The joint is also brought to you by one of my all-time favorites on it. Why?

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I love you, motherfuckers. I want to thank all you, cocksuckers, for listening and for having my back and for supporting me. And I want to thank Anit, Draft Kings, CBD Lion, and ZipRecruiter for having my back this week. Have a great weekend. I love you, cocksucker. Stay black.