The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #071 - UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: June 7, 2021

Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint..... It's Monday, June 7th..... This episode is brought to you by DraftKings & Zip Recruiter..... Go to https://www.DraftKings.com and enter PROMO Code: JOEY Go to https://www.ZipRecruiter.com/JOEY And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint The JOINT is Produced/Co-Hosted by: Michael Klein @onebyonepodcast on: Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... You can find Ben here: Ben Telford Visuals Cinematography and Visual Promotion Agency, Ontario, Canada [e-mail] Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/b_telford or https://www.instagram.com/bentelfordvisuals

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and the NBA playoffs are heating up, cock suckers. What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? It's Monday, June the motherfuckin' seventh. I hope you guys had a great weekend. I'm coming at you from the motherfucking jersey compound direct. The weekend was tip-top, Magoo. 90 fucking degrees. It's 90 going to be 90 to.

they again, I know I got the sweatshally. I enjoy what do you got to switch on it? It's early. Coxuckers, trust me. In a little while I have my little fucking karate chop shirt on, aka cop's shirt. You know, the ones that they arrest you in, the cops when they come to your house on bad boys, bad boys. Yeah, or I fucking have the fucking wife beat or whatever the fuck you want to call it. I'll have it on later on.

But anyway, it was a great weekend. I usually don't have, I'm in the habit of fucking answering emails online on a podcast. I've never really, what I usually do is, to be honest with you, is I combine a few emails from different people that the same genre apply to, and I'll try to apply the story that day to fill that genre without them knowing. and a week later they'll hit me up going, Jesus Christ, you described exactly what I was feeling. I won't let them know that I read what they were feeling from an email.

I'll just flip it on them. It's just something that I've been doing for years that when I read your emails, I'm not writing down mental notes that you guys are asking me, like little questions, maybe struggles you're going through, whether it's Patreon, Facebook, you know, whatever. I always look through email, and I answer as many as I can back

because I think that's a gentlemanly thing to do. So this week I got an email that I, the guy's name is Robert. I won't tell you his last name. But he, it was a very long email. At first I looked at it and I go the balls on this guy. But I tried, you know, I took speed reading and composition in high school. so I learned how to look for keywords

and he said prison and losing faith and a couple things so I said you know what I'm about to go to bed let me read this fucking email and just see what he was talking about and he said that he had been out of prison for 90 days

he had done two years for a theft of a checkbook and blah blah blah blah blah blah he had never been in trouble before the drugs let him there you know it was like reading my own fucking biography you know he's clean now you know he just smokes reef he's got a job he's uh he's engaged you know everything is going great in his life and uh you know when you get out of prison or

when something traumatizes happening in your life maybe you're in the service or something and everything is going well you're always waiting for the other motherfucking shoe to drop you're Like, oh shit, things are going too fucking well. The other shoe's going to drop, or I'm going to fuck up purposely. I'm going to fuck up purposely because, you know, I don't need the success in my life. Like, where's this coming from? Trust me, I was the king of doing it. And Robert, I got to tell you, you know, I know how you feel right now.

You think that the fucking walls are going to cave in. The cops forgot to. fucking press a charge on you for jay walking in 1983 you feel that people are looking at you i remember for months after i got out of prison even when i was in the halfway house i would go shopping and i felt people were looking at me and i would feel fucking terrible i would feel like shit you know and you just plow through it you keep your chin up and you push to do the good job to do better and better and trust me you're going to have slip-ups along the way we always do did you guys watch the eat and soupy podcast on joe rogan it took them 20 years to accomplish a diet it took me 12 years to

accomplish this diet that is finally working for me so it takes time you have to do different chemistries different formulas you know when people say to you i've experimented with drugs well I don't know what the fuck you're talking about I've experimented with my life You experiment You take a look back every eight weeks And you go you know what That's not working

It's not fucking working for me It's working against what I'm fucking trying to do So and that's how I overcame Those felonious feelings And even though I was still doing crimes I wasn't doing felonies You know I was doing minor shit

You know Bringing back receipts and getting shit from Kmart and receipt rentals and shit like that. After I got into comedy, I really was embarrassed by my felonious behavior and my felonious record. So the first five or six years, I got to be honest with you.

I hit it from everybody. I didn't discuss it. I didn't talk about it. I didn't, you know, it was just one of those things. Then in 94, uh, when I went back to,

Colorado, I got exposed at that fucking Christmas party at fucking sprinkler auto sales. And then people were like, uh, you know, we remembered, you know, people forget. People have a short memory. You know, 20 years ago, I'm not saying nothing bad. Mike Tyson raped somebody. It was a setup. We all know it was a setup years later. You know, you ever hear Tom Sawyer's story on the fucking podcast when he bumped into Mike Tyson,

and he had a circle of people around them, 20 of them were women. We have a short memory as Americans. We forgive, and that's fine. So, you know, for me, I forgave myself over time. Like, the thing that I was doing was I was getting into something, I was getting into comedy, and I kept trying. One thing I'm learning about writing this book is that from 1983 to 19 to 2000,

I could look you in the eye and tell you, I never stop fucking trying. Like I always kept trying. Yeah, I fell on my face, but I kept fucking trying. I would fall on my ass, but I kept trying. You know, four steps forward, one step back. I fucking get it. That's the way it is. If you can't handle it, then don't go for it and fucking sit in bed and eat Subway

sandwiches till they find the body. You know what I'm saying? I don't know what the fuck to tell you. But I do know that eventually I just felt normal. I didn't do anything I didn't participate in anything in a felonious way. Once I was done with my time, I was done with my time. I didn't want to sign up for any newsletters.

I didn't want to go to any therapy groups of convicts crying of what they did to them in there and what they expected and what they didn't expect. Listen, the bottom line was I fucked up. I did my time. And now it was time to start all over again from the fucking new. And every six months, I get fucking whacked.

You know, I was doing great in 1991 when I got on stage. But what wasn't doing great was my home life. And sure enough, in the middle of everything, I'm starting comedy. I'm happy, boom. I get hit with fucking divorce papers. How do you think that knocked? That knocked the wind out of my life. sales. That I quit comedy? No, that I fucking go to a therapist, no. I just knew how to keep

doing fucking comedy and, you know, roll with the punches and go broke and hire attorneys. But throughout that whole thing, I didn't fucking stop doing comedy. I didn't give a fuck. Who's the fuck doesn't stop you when you fucking love something, you know? So, throughout time, the felony thing wore off. I met Tim Allen, like I told that story early in the year. now I felt I had the green light and comedy and the felony. I did not let the felony define who the fuck I was. That's the most important thing. I refuse to let that felony define who the fuck I was.

Yes, I made a mistake. Yes, I paid my dues to society. But no, I was not going to wear it on my sleeve and say, oh, I'm never going to get a job doing this because I'm a felon. I'm never going to get a job doing this because I'm a felon. You know, right now, I'm doing the best I've done in the last nine months. I'm telling you guys, I don't know what the fuck happened. I had a talk on Wednesday of last week with Rudy Sarzo and Duncan Trussell.

Two of the smartest motherfuckers I know in the world. Two guys who are professionals at talking you off a mountain. That talk you off a cliff. I'm sorry. Mountain who goes to the fucking mountain. A fucking hiker. Then he gets lost and they got to send a helicopter

looking for the fucking hiker and I got to be happy when they find this fucking moron because he didn't bring a fucking compass with him he makes the four o'clock news found hiker in the hills of Jersey go fuck you shit

you should have left them there and let the bears get him next time you bring a compass and some water cocksucker anyway I don't even know I was talking about so Rudy and Duncan

so Rudy and Duncan it called you know we were talking back and forth and I asked Duncan if he was doing comedy and he said that he tried and the club owners wanted the club to charge this and this and he goes you know what that's what I didn't want anymore

I didn't want the bullshit so I turned it down so he goes now I noticed that there's some open mics in the area that I'm going to jump on you know and I explain to him my concerns I go, you know, I'm moving forward in a lot of areas. But the place I'm having the hardest area with is stand-up. And he's like, listen, you did the smartest thing you could do.

You got your family out of there. That's enough. That's what you were supposed to do. You weren't supposed to sit there and wait for somebody to kick down your family's door for you to do stand-up at the store. You did the right thing. So I don't want you to look back and whatever. And I know I did.

Everything there is solid. But Rudy even added better to it. He said, you know what? Your stand-up, what people attract about your podcast, why people attracted to you just naturally on stages, because your heart. Your heart is not considered a muscle anymore. It's considered an organ.

That's why when they have heart transplants, people experience feelings of the person who gave them the heart before because your heart has a mind of its own. And your heart lets your mind know when it's time for different things. And you know what? Whether you guys agree with it or not, it makes a lot of sense. And he backed his story. He said that when he was in Ozzy Oswald's band,

that was everything he ever wanted. I mean, you think about it. You're a 24-year-old fucking kid. You're hanging out with a skinny guitar player who turned out to be one of the greatest guitar players in the history of the world. And all of a sudden you get an audition for Ozzy Osbourne, who's coming off a nine album run with one of the greatest bands of all time. And not only that, you get the job. You get the job. You put an album together, your tour.

The tour was a success. They put together another album, Diary of a Madman. the tour was a success and the middle of the tour his best friend dies. And within a week they start the tour with a replacement. But Rudy said every time he looked over he didn't see Randy there

and all of a sudden he lost his will and he said that he did the live album with Ozzie and it was time to move on. There was no hard feelings. He just felt that he didn't want to play the bass anymore. He's Rudy Sarzo doesn't want to play the bass

anymore. You just achieved your biggest goal in life and you don't want to play the fucking bass anymore. Let's say he took some time to himself. He hung out with his family and one day he got a call from one of the guys from Quiet

Riot to finish up an album and that they did the album and he goes, the reason why I did the album wasn't because they were stars. I did the album because while I went down there to help him, I fell in love with the bass again. And I fell in love with this. And look, by falling in love and it came from passion, the album went to be one of the biggest selling albums of all fucking time in the heavy metal

genre. So this all starts with passion. I have a passion for doing podcasting. I love doing podcasting. I love making you guys laugh. I love making you guys cry. I love making you guys think. I love making you guys aware of things that I'm going through and maybe you're going through and we're putting them together. I love all this shit, you know?

I booked a movie, you know, and I had to put the audition on tape. You know, for the last three months, I've had to put auditions on tape and they've made me nervous. I get uncomfortable. I was getting migraine headaches.

I don't want to do them. And I said, you know what? I could just tell them no. And here's the funny thing. I got one this week, but I turned it down because it was $209 a day. I'm a real deal. I can't fucking be an actor for 209 a day. Then they want to take me off the charge for 30 days.

That means I can't go swimming with my daughter. I can't do none because I got a shoot of movie in Poughkeepsie for $209 a day. I need that. And then at the end of the day, Nobody sees these fucking movies anyway. So I told them, listen, I don't want to read for this, but if they want to make an offering,

give me a producer credit. Uncle Joey will show up there, tip-top McGoo. I'm the first one there, and the last one to leave. You know what I'm saying? You know me. There's no games on Uncle Joey.

So I fucking put an audition on tape last week as a detective. How's that one for you? I thought it was a stretch. I did a couple of, things to make myself look like a detective. It was one line. God damn, I could remember it because that's been my biggest problem.

I can't remember Dick. Thank God to Mike and thank God to a dear friend of mine, Erica Florentine, who I'm writing a book to. She said I could get a teleprompter online. Mike find me one that you could download. And now auditions are fucking tremendous because I could fucking teleprompter. It was like the ad I did for fucking... Blue Blocks a couple weeks ago.

They're talking about scientific shit and shit. I'm up three days trying to memorize my shit. It's done. It's done. That mechanism left. You know? And so now with the teleprompter I could help. When I had that audition, the line

was easy enough. Listen, I put the audition on tape about 10 days ago, and I still know the line. So it's an easy line. It's something I would say, so I'm not surprised. I got the movie. If I shoot, I shoot this Friday, so I should be getting a call for wardrobe. I'm going to have to go into the city and they're going to have to dress me up like a detective and hopefully it goes somewhere. And if it doesn't, it was funny because I was talking to my wife and, you know, I was

telling about the feelings I had about not wanting to get on stage right now and just doing other things and really concentrating on the book and maybe focusing on the podcast. and getting a studio and all this shit. And she goes, you know, I have a feeling that you're going to start working in New York a lot more. I think you're not giving it a chance. You've only been here a couple months. You've just got this age in New York. I think it's going to, it'll open up for you.

And fucking, you know what? A couple weeks later, I started, I got a fucking, you know, whatever, that's a Law & Audition. you know, I blew that one. I got another audition. I blew that one. I blew the Godfather audition. I blew that one. But I knew that it's just as numbers, guys.

If you sweat after every fucking audition, you're going to die. Plus, it's on tape. That's the reason from day one, even as a stand-up, I detested when people call you up and say, hey, send us a tape. You know, well, go fuck yourself.

You cannot get the full, but-wa. of Uncle Joy without a fucking with a tape. If you're just going to see me on stage doing seven minutes of material, you're not going to understand what I'm about. I want you to see me walk into the club. I want you to see me walk into the club 15 minutes early

and how I cheat the waitstaff and how I talk to the customers and how I am in the green room, whether I show up with 20 fucking losers or just myself, whether I'm drinking or I'm not drinking, all these things. Things will determine whether you come back and if you're going to judge me.

I don't think you have the right to judge me off a fucking tape. But because of COVID and the whole thing, they're doing auditions off tape. I got the longest yard off tape in 2004. So I know that tape works. It just sometimes it doesn't. It's like Zoom, you know. But you do the best you can. You get better at it.

I put this audition on tape. Friday night at 1044. I was sitting downstairs with my wife, watching the mayor of Eaton town with my fucking girl from the Titanic. And the next thing you know, I got a fucking message that I was in the running for the role

and I asked my age and what it meant. And he goes, you probably got it. And I got to tell you something, I was kind of happy. I do want a little acting thing. I always thought about Junior Soprano. He got that job later on in his life and it turned out to be the role of his fucking life.

I'm waiting for a fastball like that. Like I said, I'm sure after the soprano movie comes out, I'll do a little stand-up and whatnot and have a good time locally. But, you know, I don't know. I don't know right now. The future is uncertain, but the end is always near. Let it roll, baby roll.

You know, right now in my life, I feel the biggest adjustment I've had to make the last nine months has been my new role, you know, my new role of not traveling, being around a lot more, helping my wife with the child, focusing on Patreon, trying to open up different avenues, whether it was the book or whatever. But at times I felt guilty, and I said this a couple of weeks ago on the podcast. I don't know what episode it was. I felt like I'm always living a lie. I'm living a lie that right now I should either been dead or in prison,

but that's not the case. I'm here with a little girl and a wife who I get along great with in less than 30 days. We're about to be together for 21 years. You look at a guy like me and you're like, who can hang out with you for 21 minutes? But I don't know. I got a girl to fall in love with me and I fell in love with her. and that's what it is, you know. But I got to tell you a story and then we'll wrap it up.

I know where you got shit to do on a motherfucking Monday morning. So when I first got into comedy, it was July of 81, July 16th. That's when we're launching the new Coco motion weed from ice cream shop. So I'll keep you guys boasted on that. And that's when the 30 anniversary NFT

will also. be coming out. I'll keep you posted on that. That's the type of motherfucker I am. You know what I'm saying? And we got a lot of things happening in July. We got a lot of things happening in June. We got a soprano movie coming out in August, September. I'm going to try to get my Patreon people to maybe get a theater somewhere close by and we could all do a screening. No pictures, no nothing, just watch the fucking movie. Shut your mouth and we'll do a Q&A afterward. We'll goof around. I'll let you smell one of my thoughts.

And everybody goes home fucking happy. I'm just, listen, guys, I'm just working outside the box here. But I'm going to tell you why I'm the luckiest I ever am. Because when I started comedy, right before I started comedy, that January, I was living in bold. I was a host of the car wash. I was there on a Sunday. I had a wife, I had a baby girl at the house.

my daughter had to be around a year at that time and I was working the host window what's a host window people pull up and you're like hey how you doing what type of wash do you want for your car today and they're like oh we want the regular you're like yeah but you got rims you got a wash the rims plus it snowed two inches last week you want to add some undercoding and they're like yeah how much $4 for $16 you listen I'll tell you what I'll throw it in for 18

and I'll throw the whole fucking thing and you know Uncle Joey, you know what I'm saying? Always wheeling and dealing Always trying to make a commission I would sell them I would always sell high commission stuff But give them the low commission stuff for free And they felt good about themselves I'll do the windows

I'll arm them all the tires So I'm doing this fucking gig And somewhere along the line Bob Bob Bob I get into comedy And I quit the job and everything is going great in my life. And one Sunday I'm working at this car wash

and this family comes in and they have an air freshener that has a Cuban fucking flag on it. And at that time in 1991, I had just done some time. I was living in San Francisco. I had lived in Colorado. And the last thing I had seen in months

was a Cuban person. I was Take you know I read away Welcome them And I go I said So Nkuano

And they looked at me like Yeah Like they had been Looking for a Cuban Also They were out there Surrounded With fucking Gentiles

So they're like Yeah And we start talking We just moved from Miami We've been here About six months We own a company

Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah So I said You know I gave him the works For like five bucks

And I go Get out of the calm, we'll talk, and we talked. It was the dad, the mom, the daughter, her husband, the brother-in-law, and the other brother-in-law. At the time, he had to be around 10. Very fucking nice family. You know, we chatted for about 20 minutes.

The car was ready. They gave me a tip, and then they invited me over. They said, but it's Super Bowl Sunday, do you want to slow? swing by. They told me where they lived and I go, wait a second. I live right there too. I live eight doors down. Oh shit. All right. Come by. So boom, I went by there and I met the family and they cooked for me and they were very nice and I got to tell you it felt great to be around a Cuban family. It just felt great for the afternoon. And I went back and at that time me and my wife weren't, you know, on the best. She thought I was over there doing fucking

kilo deals and stuff and I'm just over there just meeting new people you know so little by little we became friends me and her and I'm with the family and one day I tried to put the families together and my ex-wife was too

starting to get up and eat by then you know I don't want to hang with Spanish people they're like a little low class whatever they were they were but they're very proud they worked hard every day and they were just great people they give me the fucking shit off their back.

So we break up, you know, and who comes to my fucking corner, but these Cuban people, you know, I didn't even have silverware. She came over and gave me silverware and would invite me all for dinner every night. And, you know, pretty soon I was just a regular member of the family. I would go over there every night. But she had two younger brothers. and the one brother was in high school. He was a great baseball player with great potential.

But the medium brother was a little bit of bots. He was, if I was, this is 91, so I'm 28. He had to be around 23. I knew there was a problem because he was an ice baby fan. He loved vanilla ice. He thought vanilla ice. was Jimmy Page. He would argue with you

that Vanilla Ice was a better writer than John Lennon. I mean, it was surreal. Like, he thought Vanilla Ice was better than Prince. I mean, he was just on a different planet. But he also loved that song Rico Suave.

So you gotta take this with a grain of salt. Yeah. The guy had a natural bad taste for fucking music. I wasn't angry with him. but the younger brother had the reputation as a klepto. He had clipped, you know, the brother-in-law, Danny, who was a great guy, would get him little jobs.

And after a while, I ended up getting the impression that Danny had gotten him like four jobs and he had gotten fired from all four of them for doing stupid shit. Take him like a flashlight. Like, you know, it's December 18th, 1991, and I'm headed to the finals of the Broker-Joker competition. I'm doing comedy six months, and here I am in the finals of a national competition. We, at that time, every Tuesday that I performed,

the feet that Danny and his wife would hire a babysitter. They would get the retarded brother, I say baby. to watch my nephew, Jr., and they would come to the show and cheer me on, and we would have a couple drinks, through a couple lines,

you know, same shit, no big deal. Well, this December 18th, there's a special night for me. I mean, it's really fucking special. I'm separated. I miss my daughter. I have no job. I lost my job,

and the thing I wanted the most is happening. I'm in a fucking national contest, you know, wow. Jesus Christ, I should be ecstatic, and I was. And I went down there, and there was a little drama that I spoke about before, about the $5.00 gas money. And once we overcame that, I went up there and ripped the fucking room apart and won the fucking finals.

We party, you know, until about one in the morning. We're doing bumps. We don't have a lot of money, but we're doing a couple bumps. We're drinking. We're getting free drinks from the broker. and when we go back, we go, let's just go back to Danny's and finish off the package.

But as we pull up, there's three cop cars. Now, it's December 18th and 1991. We go inside, the cops are there, do you people live here, yes, we do, we're all coked up, the cocaine high jumps out of you. You ever been coked up?

You ever been high, and the doorbell rings, and it's the UPS man, and you open up the door, and the high just, jumps out of you and it stands next to you in the corner and it goes, you're on your own. You know what I'm saying? You're in that position?

So the fucking Coke High just jumped out of us and we're like, what's going on? We thought they were there for me, for the child support, you know, whatever my wife would have told them. No, they were there because Ice Ice Baby decided he had a job at Kentucky Fried Chicken. And he decided to steal the managers. suitcase with the codes to the safe and all this shit and there was

some cash in that so they take them in they arrest them and I think we bailed them out within two or three days it's the holidays passed

I think after the holidays he robbed his brother-in-law's partner he robbed his house he got a spank in the hand for that we had to apologize to the kid but then he went to a different company

that he knew his brother-in-law was friends with he applied for the job and he stole the van and that was it that created events you know he couldn't get bail he stayed in there and so on and so forth

you know this story by heart already you know 93 I moved to fucking Jersey I came back in October 93

where's this he's still in fucking jail you know 95 where's this he's getting out of jail 95 he got out

he hooked up with some chubby chick he impregnated her he rode the car and he went back into fucking jail and then I left Colorado but I kept in touch with this

family because all those years, they were very good to me. They were on my side, one of my toughest situations. They let me their cars. I had my daughter's birthday parties at their house. They were just a great family, and they were there for me. So I kept in touch with them over the years. It's not the end of every conversation. I would ask about it, and they would say, oh, he's still in jail, or he's out with another girl. He knocked her up. He was just coming out of his. He was just coming out the jail, knocking up bitches, and getting arrested. Well, this went on until about 2013. He got out, and finally, Danny got him another job against his best fucking whatever.

And he pregnant another girl, and he fucking got arrested again. And, you know, nobody heard from him. He was in the system, and this is how life goes. and now it's 21-21. The other day I'm driving here. It's a beautiful day to be alive. I usually lift, and then I do a little walk therapy. So I said, let me go for a little walk therapy,

and the phone rang, and it was junior. And we started talking, and I go, hey, out of coincidence. How's fucking Ishmael doing? He goes, you're not going to believe it. The state of Colorado is going to parole him within the next two weeks on one condition that he leaves Colorado. They're going to parole him to Florida.

They're even going to buy him a plane ticket. He can never step foot to get him in Colorado. And I go, Ishme, Junior. I go, you know what's crazy about that? That it's 30 years. This whole ordeal started. December 18th of 91 and this kid is going home. Let's assume July of 2011.

It's been 30 years. So when I look at my life and I say to myself, Jesus Christ, I'm so lucky for being here that I ended up with a house instead of being in prison or in jail, I think of that kid. and I think of how he's going to come out of prison now the age of 50 he's going to be in Miami

I don't have to tell you what type of city Miami is it's rough and fucking tumble and with all the no disrespect I don't want to end up in the front page of Yahoo or whatever but with all the fucking you know immigrants down there the high end immigrants it's tough to get a job

if you're really really looking you know And I just can't imagine being eight years younger. You know, at 50 I had mercy. I can't believe at 50 I would have to start my life up again. So thinking about that story the other day when Junior called me over the weekend really made me think how fortunate I am that I was in the same position at Ish at some time. and today here I am and today

and I'm not putting them down and I'm not judging I'm just letting you know how my life could have gone instead of the way I have it today and why I'm grateful to you guys and why I'm happy I'm here and every Monday and Wednesday

sometimes I show up with a guest sometimes I'm solo but sometimes I just want to tell you something maybe a little story to help you out on the Monday morning and that's what I did today on a beautiful, beautiful June 7th. I think she's got 11 days left to school. Then the summer starts.

We're going down the shore once a week. You know, we got the swim club. We got the whole thing. I found out the fucking pool's not heated. So if you see me and I look like an Eskimo, don't worry about it. It's that the pool's not heated. But you know what? I'm all setting ready to go.

And it's Monday morning. This is going to be the best week of your life. life and that's it and that's that I'm happy you took the fucking 45 minutes to listen to my motherfucking earbeaten if you want more you could also

join me on Patreon I do a couple podcasts on there and the NFTs get released on the 16th it doesn't guarantee that you get one I only release 200 and whether you want when you buy one if you don't you have to buy one

don't ask me joy what an NFT is Google it and get into the Bitcoin world and do whatever the fuck you need to fucking do to get you ahead of the fucking game. I see that already from the May release some people have made money on Bitcoin.

Not one of you says thank me you dirty cock suckers but don't worry about it. I did it I don't need thanks from you guys. I wanted you to make a little money and enjoy yourself with the fucking cards and just being a part of a few

future is great when you're 50 old and you're 58 years old and you got one foot in the grave, one of banana peel. But remember, I'm always your uncle Joey and that's all that fucking matters to the end. I love your cocksuckers. See you Wednesday tip top Magoo with a guest. And I'm happy you listen today, all right? And now for a motherfucking word from our sponsors, bitch, let's do this. All right, I want to thank you guys for listening today.

Today was a short, quick one. I don't want to take a lot of your time up. We got plenty of time all summer to talk shit. I got plenty of new things happening. So, like I said, get ready to fucking rot. But before we abandon ship, the joint is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. Listen, good help is hard to find. It's like trying to find a nickel bag in church.

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We're just going to kick off the week with nothing but love, heart and enthusiasm. I love your cocksuckers. I'll see you Wednesday morning. Tip Top McGoo. Ready to fucking go. Will I be high by then? Who knows? I don't have a fortune ball no more.

I got the two swinging between my legs. Have a great fucking week. Enjoy your Monday. Oh, yeah. There you go. Puff the magic. candle cocksuckers