The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #074 | CASSIUS MORRIS | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT

Episode Date: June 16, 2021

Welcome to The Joint..... It's Wednesday, June 16th..... This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter & CBDLion..... Go to https://www.ZipRecruiter.com/JOEY Go to https://www.CBDLion.com and enter P...ROMO Code: JOEY or CHURCH And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #CassiusMorris The JOINT is Produced/Co-Hosted by: Michael Klein @onebyonepodcast on: Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... You can find Ben here: Ben Telford Visuals Cinematography and Visual Promotion Agency, Ontario, Canada visuals@benjamintelford.com Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/b_telford or https://www.instagram.com/bentelfordvisuals  

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Starting point is 00:00:00 What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? It's Wednesday the 16th of June. Welcome to Uncle Joey's joint. The joint is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. Listen, everybody's getting these unemployment checks. Nobody wants to go to work. Good help is hard to find. You can't.
Starting point is 00:00:16 It's too tough right now. It's like trying to find a fucking peanut on the beach. You're in no danger. You could always post your job online on the cork board at the laundromat. But who the fuck hangs out of the laundromats? Bums. Then you got to sit there and hope the right person walk by and sees it. Listen, stop dreaming.
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Starting point is 00:03:48 Now it's time to get this motherfucking party started. We got a great episode for you today. What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? Uncle Joe here on a beautiful Wednesday. day, June the 16th, were halfway out of this motherfucker. As you could tell, I'm looking a lot better, I'm feeling a lot better. That little chit-chat with the therapist, I chit-chat with her twice already, and I feel a lot better. We came to the conclusion that it was my thyroid medication.
Starting point is 00:05:17 Ever since, listen, since I've moved here, I've elevated my, you know, I was going to, like, kickboxing and jihitsu once a week. But with the weights, I've been hitting them four times a week. and I even lost weight during the fucking surgery when I was laid up. How could you not burning any calories? You're just laying on a chair. I thought it was a strict diet. But when I looked at the numbers, the numbers were going really low. So my wife came to the, I've had a rough fucking couple days here with my wife and stuff.
Starting point is 00:05:49 Not us going at each other, us trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. You know, I had like my heartbeat the other day. It was so bad you could see it in my stomach, just the shirt. Somebody was sitting next to me, my wife, and she goes, I could feel your heart. What is going on with you, you know? So we brought the, I checked my blood pressure two times a fucking day. That's what you need to do. I've been doing it for years.
Starting point is 00:06:16 And I fucking brought it downstairs now. And she goes, let me see what your blood pressure is like when you're just sitting down. And it was perfect. And then I started getting anxiety. and that's when I told my heart's like playing the fucking. It sounded like John Bonham doing Moby Dick. I'm sitting there, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, so I said, you know, let's do it again. And she goes, your blood pressure is perfect, but your pulse is down.
Starting point is 00:06:42 Your pulse is way down. So I think it's been my thyroid. I haven't been on the medications since Friday. I took myself off it. And so far, I'm feeling better. The sleep is men's amends. I've been working out This morning I went and drew blood
Starting point is 00:07:01 Let's just draw blood And I pissed in a cup The worst Because you gotta go They don't even let you drink fucking coffee So coffee I drink coffee And I don't start fucking spit pissing in the morning
Starting point is 00:07:13 But they don't want you to have anything So I had to go there And they give me a cup And they're like, you got to pee Before you fucking Uh Fucking give blood And I'm like
Starting point is 00:07:22 Are you serious? Let me give blood let me fucking get all fucked up a little bit and then I'll pee and the lady's like no we insist on it I had to sit there and then to boot you're not going to believe this my fucking iPod after 20 years went kaput you know how many fucking songs I got on that iPod
Starting point is 00:07:40 you know how many fucking albums I got on that iPod I got everything from fucking bush on there the fucking mega death to fucking I got everything on there all the faggy shit I like was on there because of my own person nobody could look in there it's not like coming over my house and looking at my albums and my iPod I had You know, if you change your mind in attending line, I had Iba dancing queen.
Starting point is 00:08:02 I had all shit on there. I just, you know, it was a plane. It was, I used my iPod on the plane. So I wanted music that I wouldn't listen to all the time. Yeah, I had Sabbath and Zeppelin on there and shit. So I'm stuck. I'm like, where's my fucking Santana? So now I got no Santana-Oye-Comova,
Starting point is 00:08:23 but on my phone, I got, Power rage. I got fucking high and dry, and I got something else, and I just put power rage on, ACDC. I went in there, I put on what's next to the moon. I gave the lady my arm. First I had a pee, and that was a fucking nightmare.
Starting point is 00:08:42 So I drank like 20 cups of fucking water right in a row, and still no pee, but then I found a little Hindu lady. I went up to. I said, listen, they want me to fucking pee first. I can't do it. Let me fucking give you blood. Then I'll get scared, and then the natural reaction. will be pee. So I went in like nothing, gave it a fucking blood, didn't faint. I had a little high end
Starting point is 00:09:01 dry, fucking whatever. I put on what's next to the moon. And next thing you know, I felt the tape in my arm. I walked out of there and I still couldn't fucking pee. So I sat there for like five or six fucking minutes, 10 minutes. And finally I kept pushing and pushing. I go, oh, this is because I pee when I wake up. But this is the second batch. This still has all the mineral. and shit, you know what I'm saying? Like it stinks like 10 dead fucking bodies. So I pissed maybe two inches in a fucking cup and I could smell it.
Starting point is 00:09:35 It was fucking awful. It smelled like a fart went bad. You know what I'm saying? It's just horrible. With the fucking blood pressure medication, the testosterone pills, the fucking, it's just, it's no bueno, you know what I'm saying? But I gave it a fucking, I gave it a cup.
Starting point is 00:09:54 and that was it. Now I'm waiting for the doctor to call me and see what he's got to tell me let's pray for the best. You know what I'm saying? I mean, I've been working hard lately. And I got flashbacks today. You know, I hate pissing in a fucking cup.
Starting point is 00:10:09 I fucking hate it. I was looking around in there. I thought there was a mirror on me. You know, all those years on probation, me putting shit in my dick and pissing and stuff like that. I just got a bunch of, I was laughing. When I gave the lady my piss, I'm like, in the old,
Starting point is 00:10:24 days I would give her the probation officer the piss and I'd wait for it to start bubbling because there was pool chlorine in there or fucking the shit to clean out your sink. Oh my God, that was such a horrible time in my world. Thank God I got through with it. But we're good, man. I'm going to a show this week to watch a comedy show. I acted last week on a movie. It was great.
Starting point is 00:10:47 I felt great fucking doing it, you know. And every day is better. My house is fucking solid. You know, listen, man, I did something in the beginning of the pandemic. Me and my, I decided that either we would end up best friends or we'd end up divorced. And I got to tell you something that me and my wife have ended up best, best, best fucking friends. You know, the other night, I thanked her for making my dreams come true. She helped me become a comic.
Starting point is 00:11:19 She helped me become a man. and she gave me a beautiful fucking daughter. That's why I'm here having a great fucking time. So, you know, sometimes you got to look at somebody from a different perspective and go, wow, if it wasn't for my wife, I wouldn't fucking be here. So we're good, man. And that's why today, people like, I thought you was my friend called this morning when I was eating breakfast. And he goes, what are you doing?
Starting point is 00:11:48 I'm at the diner, eating breakfast, but I just went to give blood. You went to your blood? I thought you were fucking scared of needles. I go, listen, I'm scared of everything. You know me. I'm scared of fucking everything. And I was watching Biloxi Blues. Great fucking movie, 1987.
Starting point is 00:12:04 I think it's Neil Simon or Woody, whatever, the guy who fucked the Chinese girl. Woody Allen. And I think it's Neil Simon that did Biloxi Blues. Tweet me, you know, please don't. I'm not Rick Ramones. I don't know every fucking producer and every writer. but I was watching Biloxi Blues and fucking Christopher Walkin and the guy who married the chick from Sex and the City
Starting point is 00:12:29 and the little Jewish guy and just something, I don't even know what I was going to tell you guys. I'd just been watching some fucking great movies. I don't know if you watch Biloxi Blues, but there's a part in there where they got to go to a fucking hooker's house and Matthew Broderick has never been with a woman before and the fucking hooker is from a name of Rose. I don't even know.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Who the fuck knows why I even started on this fucking Biloxi Blues. What I'm trying to tell you guys, everything is great. We got a great interview today. You know, I'm in podcasting for 10, close to 11 years now. I don't consider myself anything. I'm just a podcaster who's lucky.
Starting point is 00:13:13 You know, the joint does what it does. I don't sweat it. I'm trying to give a message out. Some people I help. Some people I don't. Some people like. Some people don't. It doesn't make a difference to me whatsoever. Some people moved on. God bless you. I'm happy that you moved on. Whenever you want to come back, you're more than welcome here. But one guy that never moved on, one guy that I, is a fucking animal. Is a kid by the name of Cassius Morris. I met him 10 years ago when he reached out and I did his podcast. And I felt so good about it afterward because I, I was a kid. I was actually helping a kid out with his dream.
Starting point is 00:13:57 I could tell by talking to him that this is what he wanted to do. And I gave him props. You know, when I was 12, I didn't know what the fuck I wanted to do. I had no, he had pinpointed it and stuck with it. And now he's 22. He's been doing a podcast for 10 fucking years. You know, he's a fucking great media guy. And like I told him when you watch in 10 years,
Starting point is 00:14:21 he's going to be the fucking king. And you get to see him now on Uncle Joey's joint. Enjoy it. Joe Diaz, what's going on? How are you, my little friend? It's been a long fucking time. It has been a long time, my man. It feels like we were in different worlds the last time we talked, I think, right at the
Starting point is 00:14:38 beginning of the pandemic. Was that long? It was that long, man. But it's okay. I've been watching you. Obviously, everybody else has loving it, man. And I've been watching you too, man. You had some sensational guests on there.
Starting point is 00:14:51 Thank you. You're doing your thing. You're growing, which is what I thought. How old were you when I met you? I was scratching my head there and I going, how old was I when I went on your podcast first? Right. And I said a bunch of fucking stupid shit.
Starting point is 00:15:05 And I left there and I'm like, how can I talk like that in front of a 12-year-old kid? What the fuck is wrong with me? Like I felt like such a fucking douchebag. But then you became my nephew and I forgave myself. How old were you the first time we podcasted? I had to be like turning 13. Wow.
Starting point is 00:15:26 And I mean, I really appreciated it, Joey, because you were the first person to really give me an actual chance. Like that was the opening to a lot of things for me, you know, and that was a big chapter of my life.
Starting point is 00:15:36 When I look back and think on that, it's, I can't even really describe how it feels, you know, that somebody gave me a chance like that. That never went over my head just so you know. You know how many fucking chances people gave me? So when I see a guy online,
Starting point is 00:15:50 that's on there. day busting his ass, I reach out. You know, we, we would stop, we started talking, we started complimenting each other, you know. I like that you were a young kid and you were going after it. You knew what you wanted. I think after the first interview, you were talking to me about not going to school and your dad's a cop and, you know, just shit that was, I was really blown away, like, how much, when I was 12, I thought I was going to be a fucking bad.
Starting point is 00:16:21 basketball player. But I really didn't, you know what I'm saying? Like I want to be a basketball player and an astronaut, you know, the common shit that you tell your mother. But to really tell somebody when you're 12 years old that you want to be in media and, you know, grow and interview bands. And, you know, there was two guys that you guys really blew me away. One was you and one is the kid from Rockin' Pins.
Starting point is 00:16:48 Okay. Yes, yes. I've watched both of you. right take off while everybody else was fucking crying there's a lot of crying that goes on while everybody else is fucking crying nobody gives me nothing you and morricio kept pounding it out pounding it out i still remember morrisio paying for concerts
Starting point is 00:17:09 to take pictures and bringing them to me at the store and and telling me like how he had to sneak in and they threw him out and the whole thing and then he got a press pass and he started going to shows now and then he started writing a blog to accompany the shows and you know this is what it is nobody's going to give you dick
Starting point is 00:17:31 everybody thinks they're going to give you dick nobody's going to give you dick go get the fuck you know the other day some guy hit me up and he's like I want you to do this this this this in the podcast I go want you do me a favor start your own podcast he didn't even have a podcast and he's emailing you
Starting point is 00:17:47 no and he's emailing me like barking me orders and I'm like You have the knowledge on this. Great guy. Don't get me wrong. He was a great guy. And you know why I told him to start his own podcast? Because he's got a great story.
Starting point is 00:18:01 He's a cancer survivor, which I know if I had cancer and I was at home sweating. I mean, I have a dear friend right now that's going through hell. And I want to talk to a cancer survivor. I want to see a guy that made it through the other side. The same way, a guy that went to prison for four years for a stupid thing looks at me. goes, wait a second, that motherfucker came out and did something different with his life. If he could do it,
Starting point is 00:18:27 I could do it. So I told him, I go, you're a cancer survivor. You could spread love. You could save so many people and give so many people hope just by fucking one podcast, two podcasts. Tell them what you went through, the puking, the chemo, you know. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:42 So it's just it's a great thing that we're doing. It's great that we're still here, fucking pushing, doing our day. It's nice that some people stick around. Like obviously you were always going to stick around Joey, but it's like it's true. It's like a rotating door where there's not many familiar faces that you can say, okay, five, six years ago they were doing a show and stuff. It's like it's constantly changing, you know, so I understand what you mean. Well, this pandemic made people stay home and yeah, I estimate,
Starting point is 00:19:08 you know, 10,000 new podcast started. Right. Especially now. But as usual, as per life is, people want to make money. And they don't have the patience. If you want to make money, go to the supermarket, stock shells at night. Yeah. And then do podcasts in the daytime
Starting point is 00:19:29 and build it up until it's like comedy. It's like being a guitar player. It's like anything else. You know, go get a fucking job. Keep playing your fucking guitar. But I work eight to six. Well, you know,
Starting point is 00:19:43 you got to go on stage from seven to ten. Exactly. That's the work ethic. year or that. And then somebody will throw you a bone. Some guy will say, hey, man, I do a band. And next thing you know, you're making $200 a month. Next thing, you know, you make a 400 month.
Starting point is 00:19:58 Next thing you know, you're making $750 a month. You know, and now you're like, fuck it. Now I know what I got to do. If I can make $1,100 a month, okay, that means I got to get rid of my cable. Mm-hmm. I got to give. For me to live my dream, these are the things I got to sacrifice. There's so many sacrifices.
Starting point is 00:20:14 You know, it's incredible. I don't even have a TV in here, Joey, like in my new, spot because I was looking at TVs and I said, why would I pay hundreds of dollars that I'm never going to get back to waste time? I was like, let's get real here because I'm looking around and I'm like, time is not something like it feels like just the other day you and me first met. So it's like time is not something that is that expendable. You know what I mean? So it's, it's, it's insane. And I feel like a lot of people, they want to talk about what they want to do. They want to watch videos of Bill Gates and sit and fantasize, but they don't want to.
Starting point is 00:20:47 to make moves to make that transition. And I'm sure you've noticed that so much. Well, it's not that they don't know how to make moves. I write it out to the same thing I have. You don't know where to start. Yeah, that's a big one. You don't know where to start. Nobody's there to tell you. I got out of prison. I wanted to do stand-up. You know, what are the chances of you meeting a comedian? Slim and none, you know, you get more chance to get hit by a bus. Right, sadly. Meeting a fucking comedian to help you out.
Starting point is 00:21:23 And I was roofing. I was frustrated. It snowed one day, and I saw the movie Punchline with Tom Hanks and Sally Struthers. Not Sally Struthers, the Flying Nun. And I really wanted to do stand-up after that. Like, I was like, wait a second, I want to do this. And I remember calling the local comedy club,
Starting point is 00:21:45 and they're like, well, you got to come to open mic. night nights and it just sounded scary. Like it just sounded scary and I let it go. And then two months later, I'm running an errand for the company I work for. I'm getting coffee for the boys. And I see an ad in the Rocky Mountain News about how to do stand-up comedy. So I don't, for some people, it's, what are the people procrastinators? Exactly, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:11 And I procrastinated before I started comedy. And for some people, they just really don't know where. it to start. I could totally see that. And, you know, I was one of those people. And, you know, one of the most interesting things for me is because I've, like we talked about, like I've been podcasting since, you know, I was however old. But the things that were new to me recently were acting in comedy, actual stand-up.
Starting point is 00:22:33 And it's so weird. I had this sort of the same type of urge as you when I went to Vegas right before the pandemic. And I saw, like, for the first time, like, the size of the billboards. And like, I sort of saw it with my own eyes where comedy could take you, where acting could actually take you the fruits of that labor. And I realized, like, if I got hit by a truck tomorrow and I never tried comedy, that's a pretty tragic thing.
Starting point is 00:22:58 That's pretty tragic. You know what I mean? So I came home, tried stand-up comedy, and then within two months, everything was shut down. So it was almost like I felt like I had to have that under my belt. If it never came back, I did it. I just had a kid hit me up today. And he said that the local club is looking for 10 comics. and he's going to, out of respect,
Starting point is 00:23:20 he's going to sign up and go down. I go, listen, even if you never do it again. One time. Just do it one time. Get that rush or the fear or the diarrhea that squirts out of here. That's the first time how I see that. Bro, I didn't open mic one time where a kid shit himself. On stage?
Starting point is 00:23:39 Yeah. He was so nervous. It was his first time. You know, and he fucked up because he brought like 18 people. I go on stage. first time I don't bring nobody. I didn't tell anybody. No, you don't say nothing. You know, when you start telling people, I'm getting on stage and 18 people come and you bomb in front of those 18 people and then you got to go back to the ball with your little stupid drink and sit
Starting point is 00:24:01 with them and they don't really want you sit at the table. It's like people were ranch dressing. Yeah, I don't want you sitting at the table. You just bombed in front of fucking 80 people. But, you know, you get on stage. It's like when I went to Jiu-Jitsu, I didn't tell anybody. Right. I went to Jiu-Jitsu for like two months and got beat up. I didn't tell anybody. I was embarrassed. Yeah, I was too embarrassed. I wasn't going to tell Eddie.
Starting point is 00:24:23 He's a fucking master. I'm going to call Eddie and go, oh, I joined the geek class today. Fuck, I didn't tell nobody. It's a tall order at first. Yeah, you got a, I think that, listen, I'm not a writer, but every day I try to write.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Yeah, you journal, right? I journal, but I, you know, I'm not a great writer. I wish I could fucking be like, Stephen King and write a book a year and you know right all that stuff all that stuff typewriter or a quill ink pen you know I can see with that but you know what every fucking day forget the pen I'm with a feather with ink you know exactly exactly
Starting point is 00:25:02 that's a thing fucking ink and shit but you know there's so many things I wanted to do in life you know the other day when I went to the city and I was thinking about my childhood dream and how I got into all this it was by me seeing a guy named Michael Corrin his freshman year come out on the uh it was uh you know March Madness and he played for North Carolina and he was a freshman from Jersey City and I had no idea I was just watching a game to watch a championship game and when they announced Jersey City my insides crumbled he let me know that I could be on that stage someday because you heard your spot turns into North Bergen yes so I'm like, and he's from the projects.
Starting point is 00:25:49 His mom raised him. He had no dad. Sport magazine did a write-up on him on his mother, Rosie, how she worked in a diner to support him and to send him to Hudson Catholic, the school he went to. That's what inspired me to, I wanted my friends to feel what I felt that day, when it said from Jersey City, New Jersey,
Starting point is 00:26:13 starting forward, number 31, Michael, I wanted them to, you know, from North Bergen, Joey did. That was for me. That's what I wanted in a personal note. I got that already. Now I got a bucket list like everybody else. I've been playing the guitar lately. I don't want to join a band or nothing like that. I just like playing it to relax. You know, that was on my bucket list. Thank God Mike made my dream come true because I would never have the balls to go buy a guitar. Did he bring it over? Yeah, yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 00:26:42 I used to walk into the guitar center and fucking have a nervous breakdown. That was some people like museums. You know how some people I love art music. Go fuck yourself. Me, I got a guitar. We used to get stone, me, Mitch Hedberg. You know, because we used to all live across the guitar center. And it was next to the Sunset Grill.
Starting point is 00:27:02 The song The Eagles wrote about, you know, down on the sunset. Right. The actual Sunset Grill. The actual Sunset Grill, it's not the same. The guy with the wooden leg died. There was a guy with a wooden leg. He made hamburgers. He would come over limping to you.
Starting point is 00:27:15 he made the best fucking hamburger that's where Don Henley got it from but then he sold they fixed it up they cleaned it up but the guitar center you were allowed to go in there and play drums and guitar and guitar and shit
Starting point is 00:27:28 I never touched the guitar I was never disrespectful you don't want to be the guy who was just sort of like fiddling with it yeah no I'm not a fucking jerk off like that I didn't want to touch nobody's guitar I don't know nothing about guitars I looked at them in all I saw flying Vs and
Starting point is 00:27:43 all this shit and then All the tricks. Yeah, but then the guy asked me, do you want to play the drums? They have like a little station on the side, and I fucked around with the drums. And he goes, you're not bad. You should keep doing it.
Starting point is 00:27:54 We have lessons here. Hey. I can't even afford the shirt on my back. Never mind fucking lessons, you know. I actually play the drums. Do you still? I do. Well, the thing is like,
Starting point is 00:28:05 and it's weird, I found this almost similar to losing concerts during the pandemic. Like now that I'm doing the apartment living, the drums was just, it just naturally ended, you know? And that's one of my passion that I'm really itching to get back to, but it's so, you know, maybe talking about not knowing
Starting point is 00:28:19 where to start. It's like, do I get an electronic kit? Do I try to get a studio space? It's like, you know, I think we all have those moments where it seems like a big, there's so many options, you know, with a passion. What are you doing now? Right now, well, I actually started working for Watch Mojo on YouTube. So basically, I started off doing a podcast for them, along with the podcast that I've already been doing throughout the years. basically it just sort of went from just hosting to, you know, my title now is a coordinator. So, you know, doing other things for the company, interviewing people, setting things up. And it's crazy, man, because I just did a podcast about it recently.
Starting point is 00:29:02 Like, just about a year ago, I was washing dishes at a restaurant. And just the mental, like, difficulty and, like, sort of the demoralization of that, knowing that I could achieve more and getting from that point to here has like changed my life. Like it's made me like a different person, you know. It's, uh, it, you know, I feel like everybody has to be very grateful for what they have. And it's like to be working in podcasting on any level, that's maybe one percent of the world. But to be working in podcasting not to be you, not to be Rogan, that's less than one percent. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:29:40 Listen, uh, the join isn't what the church was, you know? And I come to grips with that and I'm not upset or anything. This is a new beginning for me, you know. So, but I am very lucky that I have been podcasting for 10 years, you know, and I love doing it. I know what I'm doing. And it feels great. But I washed dishes. It was humbling.
Starting point is 00:30:04 I washed dishes in prison. There you go. That's a different level. You know what I'm saying? That's when you know you're ain't shit, you know. And then I, before that, I washed dishes for Johnson. Denver at his restaurant up in Aspen, I forget the Snowmass Village. But I used to wash dishes.
Starting point is 00:30:20 And I remember as I was washing them, thinking about building character. Like this is 83 when I would wash, I would wash dishes on Tuesday nights. It was prime rib night. I took the job because the chef liked me and he goes, I'll give you all the mistakes. I was lifting weights. So I like prime. I would eat 19 of those prime ribs with horseradish. Every night.
Starting point is 00:30:43 Then I would steal a pound of shrimp. No, I only worked Tuesdays. And then they said, you know, coming Thursdays for lobster night. Right. So I were going on Thursdays for lobster night. Yeah, I had the good nights. But I still remember washing dishes and being proud. Yes.
Starting point is 00:30:59 Like I told people, I'm washing dishes part time at whatever. And they would go, but you're an electrician in the daytime. Who gives a fuck? It's $10 an hour and they feed me. I don't have to buy groceries. I have to buy groceries. That's a pretty good deal at the time. You know, and I would take a pound of shrimp at home at night,
Starting point is 00:31:16 and I'd take a shower, and I'd fucking do my little shrimp cocktail while I was watching USA or whatever the fuck I was watching. And then I had to wash dishes in prison, and that was, you know, he used to fucking abuse me from time to time. I used to have to wash dishes in the morning, and then I'd break them or I'd break the fucking machine on purpose. But it- Buy yourself some time.
Starting point is 00:31:37 Washing dishes humbles you. Oh, it does, Joey. And just to be clear, like when I say, I found it demoralizing. It's not because of washing dishes. Like I was trying to be the best dishwasher I could. And the only reason I had issues with it is because I worked at a very uppity restaurant. So it wasn't the type of restaurant where we're all a team.
Starting point is 00:31:55 It was the type of restaurant where if you're doing sort of that type of work, you're like, you're worthless. Right. It's how you were treated, you know. But what really what it taught me was not that it's a bad thing. It's like, I have more respect for those people than I ever thought I could. Like the people who actually commit to doing a good job and they take pride and going in there every day and this is their career like it gave me an appreciation and a respect for that which like
Starting point is 00:32:18 i think that a person needs you know when a person's doing a job that's kind of weird and you meet them and they start talking to you and they're really solid people you really look at that job a lot differently like you're like wow yeah you know he's really proud of his job it's like what's going on now with the police department you know everybody's hate that's hate that on cops, listen, there's bad cops, but then there's cops that'll take a bullet for you. Are you that fucking stupid? There are cops that will go into a fire and grab you out of there. You know, in every field, there's good and bad, you know.
Starting point is 00:32:59 Exactly. I tend to attract, you know, right now I hang out with a detective in Newark and a detective in Union. and I look at them and I admire them when they tell me about their jobs and how they had a homicide and some guy told me they shot a 16-year-old kid in Newark last week. Wow.
Starting point is 00:33:21 But it was, you know, from a car, you know, and he had to go. And while I was talking to him, I was thinking about walking up on a body, seeing a kid's head blown up, you know, what that's like. That's what that's like. Meanwhile, you're over here yelling defund the fucking police or whatever.
Starting point is 00:33:38 you know think about i always think about what the cops saw before he came to your house you know did he see a kid crying and also now he has to answer domestic violence call and you know all the shit that they see and it's called the moment before it's even used in acting right like the moment before what was that person doing before that's why whenever i look at the scene i always think all right so before i walked up on this body what was I doing before what was I thinking about to have an argument with my wife did I have an argument with somebody else you know it's like when you're driving and you cut somebody off and they give you the finger you know what just happened to that person right
Starting point is 00:34:23 what just what did he just go through that his wife just divorced him did his wife just serve him that he just find his wife in bed with a fucking midget what what fucking happened you know could be anything down like why would she do a midget I got a big six-first foot dick, you know. And then you come pulling up in front of them. Yeah. And you go like, fuck you and what's going to happen the moment before. So it's really, it's really important that. It's almost like you're dealing with a different person every day. It's like there's touches of their everyday personality. But it's like the person you deal with that day is mostly almost shaped by what has happened leading up to that day and how long it's going to take for that to wear off. So yeah,
Starting point is 00:35:01 it's a very interesting. It's interesting that they would use that in acting. Like I would here Gandalfini would like smack himself in the face before an angry scene or something and then walk in there, you know, like, so that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, it's the moment before, it's like right now we have a world that's a little crooked, you know, uh, you guys, I don't know if you watch the NBA. I just heard not really a couple weeks that people were throwing things at players and they got ejected like sodas and fucking what. Yeah, yeah, two people got charged, I think. It was like two separate incidents, you know. Been cooped up.
Starting point is 00:35:34 I've never thrown a fucking thing of the professional basketball player. My mom threw chicken wings at Rusty Stob, but she was a fucking savage. That was called for at the time. Yeah, it was called for. He missed the call and fucking, she lost 300. I'll throw a chicken wing at you too. But I think that right now you really have to be very careful with people. People have been in.
Starting point is 00:35:58 People have lost jobs. People are not okay right now. No. We're not okay You know I try to smile at everybody I tried to wave at everybody I try really hard lately
Starting point is 00:36:12 Because I know people are hurting I'm hurting I'm hurting over who knows what You know whether it's the move Whether it's coming home So lately I've been very That's why I don't want to do stand up right now Right
Starting point is 00:36:26 Long hiatus but it's needed man It's needed It's needed You know I need the little break But I'm I'm already itching. I'm going to watch a show this weekend. Are you?
Starting point is 00:36:37 Are you? I'm thinking I'm going to see Burke Christ when he comes July 17th. Nice. You know, just to go see them. And I hope that by the time the soprano movie comes out, I'm well and I could fucking get back on stage. I don't want to go on stage to fuck around. I want to go on stage to fucking murder.
Starting point is 00:36:56 And I'll tell you what, I'm going to be dirty than I ever was. That's what I want to hear. That's what I'm talking about. I'm not going to go up there like an animal and insult different races or anything like that. No. But I got to talk about what's going on right now. You know, that there's a lot to talk about. Yeah, there's a lot to talk about.
Starting point is 00:37:16 I don't know if you know, yesterday I identified with a seven-year-old kid. You should have seen me had a hat with a peller on top. You know what I'm saying? Did you? Where was that? And the day before I fucking, I was a horse, you know, the day before I ran down the block with a fucking strait. You know, you can identify as anything now. saying so it's anything anytime right that's hilarious so our soprano's movie you guys are still
Starting point is 00:37:39 looking at september september 24th beautiful very excited for it i saw it a couple weeks ago i really enjoyed it i really enjoyed what david chase did i think people are going to enjoy it i think some of the knuckleheads might not enjoy it okay yeah you know everybody misses gandlefini You know, you don't know how much you miss Gandalfini To you see Gandalfini The other night I came down here with Mercy And we, you know, usually at 8 o'clock it's like Hey, Jesse, hey Jesse
Starting point is 00:38:16 It's those two fucking shows that drive me crazy But I sit, it's my daughter I watch him and as I was scrolling The drop was on Okay, with Gandalfini in it With Gandalfini in it Right And for two minutes
Starting point is 00:38:28 I watched him And I was like, fuck I miss him And then the next night I put TV on with Mercy again And he's on killing me softly Oh So he kept popping up
Starting point is 00:38:40 Yes Yeah with Brad Pitt and fuck That's a great movie by the way That's a phenomenal I gotta check that one out When you see him do you Are you looking at Tony Soprano Or are you looking at like Jimmy
Starting point is 00:38:52 Because you've talked to You know so many of his friends and stuff I never met him But when I see him I see a great fucking actor You know, the things I've heard about him have just been above and beyond. What he did for that, you know, you could tell why it was a great show. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:14 You know, what he did, the type of person he was, the type of character he was. Somebody said something the other day. Oh, I read a meme from David Chase, like something he said. In the final scene, he touched Anthony. And little did he know. He goes, he didn't write that. He touched Anthony's arm. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:39:38 And little did he know, that was the last time he was going to touch his son's arm, my fucking stomach. He goes, I didn't say that, but that was the type of guy he was. You know, when you watch that show, he was such a, you know, God had to take him. Listen, when you think now, God had to take him. Because he was too big of a fucking, he was just an animal. He was just, I feel bad saying that, but he was such a star. I think he was even surprised as to how big it became. It became bigger than him.
Starting point is 00:40:07 It was like an entity. It, the energy he gave off there, that show was tremendous, you know, and, uh, I wish he's in heaven, you know,
Starting point is 00:40:16 I wish he's looking down and, uh, but I watched another show that I followed the mayor of Eaton Town. Did you watch that? I didn't see that one. Kate Winslet. Oh. You know, I love acting.
Starting point is 00:40:29 I love, yeah, I love watching great acting. I'm not an action. them you know i take a couple lessons and i fuck you're an actor get out of here no no trust me when you work with actors you're like holy shit i better fucking get my game up you know what i'm saying because this guy's doing this this guy's doing that and it's uh kate winslet just destroyed me with this seven episode show she did you know because she went in she went in there and when i
Starting point is 00:40:55 heard that there's a sex scene and they showed like she's chubby and the director she told director to leave the scene in, that's an actor. Because it's real. It's real. It's raw. That's the thing. It's raw. No makeup.
Starting point is 00:41:10 You know, she only wore makeup when she went on a date on the show. You know, I enjoyed the show. I just, I referred to the show to a brother of mine, mercy's godfather. He called this morning when I got out of a doctor's office and we were talking about the show. And he goes, she's phenomenal. I love watching good acting. Me too.
Starting point is 00:41:29 It's amazing. I watched the magnificent 70 on night. fucking Charles Bronson was yoked. He was a big guy, eh? He was a big guy then, you know, Death Wish was on the other night. I've been watching, you know, I don't watch daytime TV.
Starting point is 00:41:45 I refuse to put the TV on the daytime, no more news since I moved to Jersey. I never watched, I never put the TV on during the pandemic. Except in LA. You know, it's a horrible thing to do. I got hooked on the 330 evening news,
Starting point is 00:42:01 ABC, wide whatever and that really fucked me up. That got into my psyche in a horrible, horrible way. You know, I thought I was a lot stronger than that, but obviously I'm not the one I moved here. I stopped watching the news and my, I changed a lot. I could see that it had contaminated me, you know, with all.
Starting point is 00:42:26 And it's something that I looked at it for knowledge of the virus. Right. But it wasn't giving you knowledge of the virus. It was giving you just a negative feeling that when... Yeah. I'd watch the news to go smoke a joint and pop a fucking Xanax or 10 of them. Because the fucking news was so dishearting. So now...
Starting point is 00:42:51 The campaign of fear and... Yeah. And now I don't have that in my life. I don't know. They have a thing called New Jersey 12 with a gay weatherman. I love them. Have you seen the guy? he's got like a shitty microphone
Starting point is 00:43:03 how are you doing we're calling in New Jersey and he's don't wear sandals tomorrow if you're going to Asbury Park you know shit like that this guy needs his own primetime show yeah no he's great
Starting point is 00:43:15 the weather man on New Jersey 12 I fucking love him but that's it he informs you that's the thing it's like the way I see the news is that like and it's funny because I think that 30 years ago 25 years ago
Starting point is 00:43:27 maybe CNN was the most trusted name in news or Fox or whoever I'm not biased against any, but it's like, I feel like more of these shows are more so talk shows with opinions. It's like at a certain point, they're not informing you about anything. They're just giving you their opinion on a piece of information. So what's that? I was like, I don't really need these people's opinions on it.
Starting point is 00:43:47 I can just try to maybe pick. And the way I see it too is like, if it's something that's super serious, I'll hear about it. I'll call my aunt. I'll call my mom. I'll call somebody. They'll say, did you hear about these new restrictions? I'll hear about it. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:44:02 Anything you don't need to hear about, I think it's just noise, you know? Anything that you don't need is just going into your head and just taking up your fucking time. And it's weird. I like 60 minutes. I love that show. Yeah. Because they capsize the whole week for me in one hour of three. It's very seldom that I don't like a story 60 minutes is telling me.
Starting point is 00:44:25 I don't mind watching a repeat. I get pissed off when 60 minutes does a repeat. Like I'm like, I already watch. Watch this one, motherfucker. Give me the new stuff. Yeah, last week they had the one about the judge in New Brunswick, about a half hour from here that they killed her husband, her son, her son, or her husband, the judge. And she was, it was fucking great.
Starting point is 00:44:46 But the Puerto Rican woman, you know, 60 minutes gives me the news that I need, you know. I watch real time with the funny English dude. No, I like Bill Maher, too. He said some interesting stuff. But what's the other guy that's kind of funny and wacky on HBO? on HB. John Oliver. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 00:45:06 This week with John Oliver. I love that guy. Yeah, he's funny. He cracks me to fuck up. I like the UK guys. I heard you saying on the last joint that you would, if you, you know, made a big sum of money, you go to the UK and do podcasts. Like the way that they set up their radio host there, like you see a guy on a rap radio show.
Starting point is 00:45:23 He's dressed like the rappers. It's like they're pimping just like everybody else out there on the radio. It's crazy. I would have gone to the UK set up a studio. and hired a cameraman. I would have fucking gone to Abbey Road. You know, I went to all the places. I would love to go to the place where Pink Floyd recorded.
Starting point is 00:45:48 Wish you were here. That's the last time they saw Sid Barrett when he walked in. I love to go to Judas Priest's neighborhood and take my dick out and go, here's for you, Rob Halford. Swing it around. Let's go. around. You know, Judas Priest and Black Sabbath basically have the same neighborhood.
Starting point is 00:46:07 They're both from Birmingham. Birmingham. So, you know, I love to go to those places and visit. You know, I just saw a picture from Ireland. Fucking Ireland has a fucking mural that says free Cuba. Wow. That's, and I tell people all the time that Cuba and Irish have a big time connection. I'm married Irish woman.
Starting point is 00:46:30 I always loved Irish women. and growing up, we're very close because we're Catholic countries. That makes a lot of sense. A lot of the same core values are there. Some of the same core values. So in 1690, there was a Battle of the Boyne, and most of the Irish that didn't want to fight went to Cuba.
Starting point is 00:46:46 That's why there's so many Cubans with Irish names, John Osai. You know, I went to school with a fucking kid who had a fucked up name. I don't want to say it on here because then it'll get pissed off. Then it reveals them. Yeah, it reveals them. But there was a lot of Cuban Irish. You know, it's weird how you do it 23 and me.
Starting point is 00:47:00 and I got like Chinese, Irish, a little Jewish, a lot of African, you know, my grandmothers were whores. One of them even banged the Chinese guy, which is my love for Chinese, everything. Yeah, and that's the population of Cuba was Spain, African, Chinese, Irish. Then in the 50s, the Italian, I can't tell you how many Italian Cuban kids there are. Those gangsters were banging fucking Cuban women two of the time. Right. I'm sort of the same way. I was talking about it with my family recently. And yeah, there's just like sort of so many different things in my background, you know. And now let me ask you this, because this is sort of interesting me about you. Do you, like, I would assume that you relate to your Cuban heritage or is it like, do you have so much heritage that you don't really gravitate to one as many as the others? Or is it like a Cuban thing? As a Cuban man, I would have a lot of faults. I was around a lot of traditional Cuban men when I was a kid,
Starting point is 00:48:08 and they all had great qualities. But they had bad qualities, jealousy, over-machismoism, you know, little things I didn't like. So as I grew up, I curbed them back. I curbed that stuff back. I didn't allow myself to be jealous. You know, men who are jealous of women when a guy, I can't, I can't. and have that shit. That's tough.
Starting point is 00:48:38 I saw Mike talking to a girl. Who cares? You know what I'm saying? People talk. It's if you put your dick in the mouth, then we have a problem. Yeah, people do a lot worse than talk. People do a lot worse than talk. My machismo had a calm down.
Starting point is 00:48:53 That Cuban machismo shit just didn't work for me sometimes. You know, it didn't work for me sometimes. I was a mama's boy. You know, let's not, let's never forget the fact that I love women. I love women. I love looking at them. I don't care what size they are. The bigger the better, the skinny of the better.
Starting point is 00:49:12 I love women, you know. So I think I borrowed from different races. I'm like a fucking mutt in my head. You know, I'm a Catholic. And I love Catholicism. I went to church this week. But you know what? I do Buddhist stuff.
Starting point is 00:49:30 Right. My religion is different. I love Buddhism, you know. A lot of mindfulness stuff. A lot of mindful of. I never converted, but I do meditate from time to time. Nice. I do believe in karma.
Starting point is 00:49:42 I do believe in what they do. You know, I went to, I took a couple of classes at Niropa. I hung out there in Boulder. I did walking meditation, you know. That's like a Buddhist school. Yes, I did. It's a Buddhist school that they had fucking great speakers and the Dalai Lama showed and you could go, you know, all those great offbeat writers used to go to Boulder and do lectures there.
Starting point is 00:50:10 So I respect the Buddhist thing. Then you have Santa Ria, which is my original Cuban thing on the side, which is like Cuban Catholicism. Right. Do I agree with all Santoria stuff? No, but it's gotten me to where it's gotten me. Do I agree with all Catholicism stuff?
Starting point is 00:50:32 No, fucking mortal sin if I don't go to church on Sunday. Go fuck yourself. So the two more... You're doing your own way. Yeah, it's killing somebody and then not going to church on Sunday. That's a big difference. Me not going to church and me killing somebody. Where's the parallel?
Starting point is 00:50:46 Where's the fucking one in between? Like, you know, so we all have our agreements and disagreements with whatever religion or if you're not religious. You know, I like some of the Jewish things, you know. Totally. There's stuff you can draw from in all of them. Oh, my God. Every religion, you know, I'm really tight with Ari and I'm tight with Lee.
Starting point is 00:51:03 and I always ask them questions about Judaism, you know, and they tell me, you know, and I've always, you know, I always, for a while, I'm like, I'm going to fucking convert to be a Jew. For the longest time, I was thinking of converting. Yeah, when my mom died and stuff, my father was so into it that I was like, you know what, I think I'm going to convert. Because you were looking for something at the time to sort of gravitate towards. Right. I was pissed at my God. Right. And I'm uncircumcised so they could still cut the force.
Starting point is 00:51:33 And you know what I'm saying? It would hurt. You're getting there. Yeah. Listen, you got to show up on an envelope and a foreskin and they'll take you. You know what I'm saying? That's the admission package. Those are the two fucking requirements to convert to Judaism.
Starting point is 00:51:46 You got a dated Jewish girl. You still got that skin on your dick and you're fucking, you know. And you're off to the races. And you're off to the races. So what's going on in your world beside that? You know what, man? Just trying to take all the steps necessary to get to the next level. You know, we talked about acting and just how crazy that world is.
Starting point is 00:52:07 I started in that world and I'm looking at like I'm doing my first auditions and stuff this past six months. And I think it was really good for me. I needed something that I hadn't been doing for so many years to like give me a new challenge. Because I think I'll be honest with you, Joey. I got a little carried away with myself by the time I started with acting because I figured, okay, I'm finally at an agent's office. Where's my movie? Where's my red carpet? Haven't you guys been waiting for me?
Starting point is 00:52:33 And I realized quick, it's not how it goes, man. You know what I mean? And I started looking into my favorite actors and the fact that Al Pacino didn't get Scarface till he was 35. And, you know, like this stuff takes years to build. So the point being, I'm just really battening down the hatches to improve myself and build and do a million failed auditions and maybe get my one. And I'm really just looking at life as a five to 10 year plan right now. Like I think things will be cracking for me then. and I'm not attaching myself to,
Starting point is 00:53:05 I need to be at this level next year. You know what I mean? That's the stuff I think young people do. Are you actively looking for roles? I am, yeah. And I mean, I'm looking to get into the music videos for a little part. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:53:20 Short films, if I can. There's not many college films where I'm at, but, you know, I want to do that because, like, what I realized is if you want to act,
Starting point is 00:53:27 like you don't just want to be in the movies, you want to go do theater. You want to do community stuff. So it's like, I also learn, like what's the difference between a real actor and some douchebag that wants to be on a billboard. I never want to be that guy. Right.
Starting point is 00:53:39 You know what I mean? So it's like it's about taking those steps. So yeah, just actively trying to do it. And it took like actually doing these auditions and stuff. Like I always appreciated the guys like Gandalfini and looked up to them with wide eyes. But then when I even started trying to do one iota of a facial expression of a guy like that in an audition, that's when it really hit me like a ton of bricks like, oh, this is this is a lifestyle thing. Like this is something people are born to do.
Starting point is 00:54:04 And then other people can kind of maybe do it. So, yeah, it's just, I'm just trying to be better, Joey. You know, I just want to be better. We all are. We all are. And it's contagious. You know, I, I enjoy doing the podcast because I've been trying to work on myself since I landed in this fucking state.
Starting point is 00:54:23 Yeah. And people are seeing that. I don't want to lead by talking shit. I want to lead by them watching me making this. change. I told you I was going to slow down on the reefer. I told you I needed to lose weight. I told you I needed to journal more to figure out what this anxiety I had was coming from. I'm always trying to better myself in any single way possible, you know, especially with a daughter. You want to give her all the knowledge you want. Absolutely. You know, she brought her
Starting point is 00:54:53 homework down yesterday. I got to be honest with you. I would have got an F-plus octagon's and Four sides and five. I don't remember none of that shit, but, you know, you've got to be involved. And that's what this whole thing is about. You know, this whole pandemic, if by July of last year, you didn't look at this and go, okay,
Starting point is 00:55:18 there's a pandemic, they took my job, Mike can't go do his open mic, you know, there's so many things we couldn't do. Let's focus on what we can do. Exactly. You could still run. You could still write. You could still ride your bike.
Starting point is 00:55:36 You could still play the guitar. Turn on a webcam, you know? Turn on a webcam. There were so many ways to improve yourself. And I said this to myself, like, you know, because we were all waiting for the pandemic to end. And we didn't know when it was going to end. I made one goal. And I'll take the notebook out and look for it.
Starting point is 00:55:54 I said I want one positive thing out of this pandemic. Just one. I want to be, I want to come out of this. I think that everybody should have. came out of this with one goal out of this pandemic. A dear friend said to me the other day that all he kept hearing was the disease and how bad it was the COVID, but nobody in America was telling people to take care of themselves. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:19 Listen, this is what you need to be doing. Take the vitamin D, the magnesium, get your eight hours asleep. This is the first time a lot of us have had this break. You know, people are changing careers. People. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. You gave America. You gave the world a chance to think and look at themselves through a fucking microscope. And now we know what we want to do. I in turn acted last week. And I got to tell you, I fucking fell in love with it.
Starting point is 00:56:49 Where'd you go? In the city. Okay. Was it with Vinnie? Was it with Vinnie P? No, no, no. When I got here, I contacted an agent I had from L.A. that was now here, booking theater, which I'm I'm going to call him this afternoon and tell him to start looking for a couple plays for me, like 90-seat theater because I think I want to commit. I think I want to commit, you know. People want to see it. People want to hear you. You know, I want to be a part of a play.
Starting point is 00:57:18 I don't, listen, when you join these, there's a couple of theater groups around here, and I've been going on their websites. Okay. You know, you got to clean bathrooms. You got to sweep. One month, you take tickets at the door. One month, you do the lights. One month you clean the bathrooms.
Starting point is 00:57:35 You know what, bro? I'm never fucking too good to clean a fucking bathroom. It's like a comedy club, man. You work your way up. So I'm either thinking of doing a local theater. I want to see what New York, I mean, New York right now is not the place to be jumping up and down at night.
Starting point is 00:57:54 Yeah, let's let it settle a little bit. If I could find a theater group around here that'll take me because I'm a fucking comic actor. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's not like, please. It's not like I'm there quoting Stanislauski or whatever. Well, we have that in common. Yeah, it's not like, but I have read on acting, and I will tell you something.
Starting point is 00:58:15 And I tell you this with all my heart, Cassius. And, you know, I'm the type of guy that people say shit about me and I disagree with them. But I will tell you this. When it comes to auditioning, I don't know too many people better than me. I'm better at auditioning than stand-up comedy. Wow. Because Mitzie Shaw used to make you do three minutes. Oh, at the store.
Starting point is 00:58:44 Three minutes, three minutes, three minutes, three minutes. You know how many comics have a quick comedy? Because they couldn't do three minutes. Probably so many. You have to tell your story in three fucking minutes. So I never really put it together. When I started going out for auditions like you, I would bomb every other fucking audition.
Starting point is 00:59:05 Every audition. Thank you for coming. You were great. You know what I'm saying? That was phenomenal. Thank you. And you're like, you want me to read it again? No, not.
Starting point is 00:59:14 No, not really. Leave. And then you walk out of there. I had a lot of those, you know. And then one day I took a cold reading workshop. It was by the guy that did sleepers. Okay. And Godfather, too.
Starting point is 00:59:34 Wow. And he changed me. His audition system, he wanted you to be aggressive. I would walk into auditions very timidly. Hi, how are you? But then I started listening to those jerkoffs in L.A. They would walk into a class like, hi. Hi, Cassius.
Starting point is 00:59:51 Oh, my God, we have a mutual friend, Michael. Listen, you're still not getting the role, bitch. So why are you dropping Michael's name for? Get it out of the way. But I was an audition. You're not talking your way into this. Dog, I was an audition. one's where a chick brought a tray of brownies for the casting director.
Starting point is 01:00:05 Oh. You know, when they tell you dress up like the character, if you actually go dressed up like the character, you're not going to get the... I've heard that's a bad one. That's a bad one. Like, me and Ari got a call one day. Ari calls me one morning. He's like, did you get an audition time?
Starting point is 01:00:21 I go, yeah. They wanted me to dress up like a colonial fucking soldier. Go fuck you. I went in there with a Yankee hat on there. Like, where's your fucking, you know, Kentucky Fried Chicken suit? Oh, fuck you. Imagine it. That's what that's power.
Starting point is 01:00:35 That's what they do to you. I used it differently. I used to like if I went for a mob TV show, I wore a white shirt. Okay. A mob commercial white dress shirt. Movie mafia role. Gray shirt or black shirt. Wow.
Starting point is 01:00:54 Interesting. What was that? I just want you to, like when I got basketball, I was a ref, correct? So I wore a shirt with strings Okay So it looked like a whistle But you didn't wear an actual whistle That's the beauty of it
Starting point is 01:01:10 No Right No Right That's a good one You don't go What it's like comics with comedy clubs Send me a tape
Starting point is 01:01:17 I send blank tapes I sent blank tapes for years Tapes Yeah Because they don't watch them right That's control yeah You go to get paid on Saturday They got stacks of tapes
Starting point is 01:01:29 With dust on him. Wow. And I'm like, hey, that dude is really funny. And the guy would look at it and go, I haven't had a chance to look at the tape. No shit. It's got six inches of dust on it. So all that tape shit is a control shit.
Starting point is 01:01:41 Like, you could call the same club owner 15 times ago. Hi, my name is Cassius Morris. I like to work your club. I haven't looked at your tape yet. But Cassius could talk to Joey by mistake, be talking to him and go, I'm trying to get in that fucking wise guys in Utah. and the guy won't fucking take me. You know, all of a sudden I call you and you're my feature.
Starting point is 01:02:03 Right. And now the guy's like, oh my God, this is how it goes. I tried to get into Catch a Rising Star for years. For years. They had Vegas, some other fucking joint, Reno and New Jersey. Okay. Three years I tried to get in there. One day I got a call from Jimmy Schubert.
Starting point is 01:02:20 You want a feature for me? So he's about the relationship. Yeah. It was, you know, 15 years ago. Jimmy took me up there as a feature and then I started headlining for the Catcher Rising Star So you can't get mad at things You have to let things work themselves out organically
Starting point is 01:02:36 You I gotta tell you man For a young man you have done a great job A lot of people I mean when did we do our first podcast Eight nine years ago seven years ago You were 12 maybe And you're still
Starting point is 01:02:52 Going on 10 Yeah going on 10 You're still How old are you now? I'm 22. Jesus Christ. You drinking? No, actually.
Starting point is 01:03:03 I was, you know, but I actually. Not right now. Okay, good. I don't rule it out for the future, but I'm at a point where like my job is, it's more like organization, scheduling, spreadsheets. Like, my hosting is actually more so on the side
Starting point is 01:03:19 and it's more so coordinating. So it's like, I just really looked in the mirror when I came into this new place and I was like, okay, you watch. Motivational videos from you know this guy this guy this guy would they have fucking old Milwaukee's on their desk would they have a fucking Rick and Morty bong in the corner no so okay screw off then and that was it you know that was it I know you're on a I know you gotta do your gig this afternoon no no I'm good Joey I'm good okay I wanted to let these guys know that you know I got a lot of 40 year olds and 30 year olds that follow me and ask me questions and they're confused about you know things and I'm happy I'm happy that I have a 22 year old here that's been committed to something for 10 years.
Starting point is 01:04:02 When you're 12, most kids can't commit to dick except fucking texting and roller skating or whatever the fuck they do. At 12, you already were like a young man and now you're a man. You know, I know you got a girlfriend. I know you're making moves and stuff like that. So I'm really proud of you. Thank you. The people that listen to this podcast today and watch this, I wish that
Starting point is 01:04:29 follow Cassius. You know, I follow him and sometimes I write something for you, sometimes I don't, but I want you to know I'm always watching and I'm always very proud of you. When I saw Rob Halford on your fucking podcast, you know, listen,
Starting point is 01:04:48 a guy like me would say, fuck him, he's got Rob Halford. Let me tell you something. I was so fucking happy. for you. Oh, that means the world. I was so happy for you because I know how hard you've been working. You know, Dean Delray, when he got Brian Johnson and Angus Young, I was crying for him. Same with me. I was so happy for him. I wasn't mad or wishing it was me, you know? No, you, you, when you start cheering for people is when your life changes. I see all these people
Starting point is 01:05:20 on the internet that every time somebody puts something up positive, they got a shit on it. Yeah. And they wonder why they have shitty lives. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is I go to Facebook and I see if I know anybody's birthday. And then I find somebody I don't know and I wish I'm a happy birthday. Yeah. That starts my day off on a positive note.
Starting point is 01:05:42 I made somebody's day at 7.30 in the fucking morning without leaving the house. That's a respect. Somebody's going to look at their fucking page and go, that fat fuck Joey Diaz said, No, he's got an assistant that did it. You know, whatever. It was me. But that's how my day starts. That's, I'm giving love, you know.
Starting point is 01:06:03 And even once that goes into the subconscious, that's still working for you. That's still out there. It works. Anybody, when you wake up from now on, go to fucking Facebook and look at the birthdays. Find the motherfucker. Find the ugliest dude. You know that nobody's fucking inviting them nowhere. It feels good.
Starting point is 01:06:20 And send them a happy birthday. See how good you're going to fucking feel. And I mean, who knows? You could be the only person to wish him a happy birthday that day. And you might stop him from heist himself. You might stop, you know, birthday is a shitty days for some people. They think back to where was I last year at this time. You know, I'm just saying, but that's the first thing I do every morning is wish somebody a happy birthday that's a fucking stranger.
Starting point is 01:06:46 Yeah. Because I want my day to go off the right way. That's what it's all about. That's what we're here to do is making people's day. Cash's and I know. You do it and I do it. I love you. I'm happy you had a chance to
Starting point is 01:07:01 call in today and talk with me and hang out. It's always a pleasure and I got to tell you something. I'm very, very, very proud of you. Oh, thank you. And I can't wait to fucking retire from podcasting to pass my little fucking thing onto you, you know, because you are the next Joe Rogan in eight,
Starting point is 01:07:23 years. Oh my gosh. You know, Joe's getting old. Oh, my gosh. You know, Mark Marion is getting old. Bill Burr's getting old. They're all getting old. And by the time in eight years, you'll be podcasting 16 years.
Starting point is 01:07:37 Yeah. That's crazy to think about. That's really crazy to think about. So the throne belongs to you. You might not see it yet. You might sit there going, oh, my God. Joe Rogan is great. Yeah, Joe Rogan is getting older and shorter.
Starting point is 01:07:50 And I'm getting older and fatter. and fucking Bill Burr's getting funnier and older. He just gets funnier, Bill Burr. Yeah, Bill Burr is time. My motherfucker just gets funny. He's timeless. So along the line and everybody's getting, you know, Theo, all those guys are fucking moving on.
Starting point is 01:08:07 So I predict in eight years, you'll be the fucking new Howard Stern if you want it. Did you even get Ace freely? Yes. Yeah, actually, he made a big revelation on my show. Did he really? Yeah, he premiered. premiered his political beliefs just out of nowhere on my show and then it became a massive thing.
Starting point is 01:08:27 But man, that motherfucker, man, I love that guy. I love him. He's such a good guy. He just moved to Jersey. Wow. Okay. I could see that. Definitely.
Starting point is 01:08:36 He lives in Jersey. You got to get him on the podcast. Listen, I would cut my finger off to get a guitar lesson from him. Everybody knows he's a great guitar player. We need a video of that. Oh, my God. I would die if I saw. He's freely.
Starting point is 01:08:48 First off, I think he's the funniest man in the world. He's amazing. he could, I think he could destroy Chris Rock, destroyed Dave Chappelle. I've seen his interviews. He is a riot. I think he is one of the funniest men I've ever been around him. I've never met him. I've never had the chance to talk to him.
Starting point is 01:09:07 So just for that, I give you kudos. I think he's the funniest motherfucker around. He is just incredible, man. And like, just the fact that he was so down to earth. Like, I interviewed him once before on the phone. And it was, he was doing a big press day. And my questions weren't that. great. I was young. But then we did this one, man. And it was just like shooting the shit with a friend.
Starting point is 01:09:25 And, and, you know, like, just the fact that it happened, like, obviously it would mean so much to anybody, but I wasn't around, man. Like, when Destroyer came out, like, I wasn't. I was. It was. It was great. That's what I mean. And it was great. But it's like, this is the closest I'll actually ever get to even their prime. So it's like, that's extra layer of appreciation. That's the thing. This shit never goes over my head. I'm never like, oh, yeah, that's, of course I did that. No, fuck that. It's like, people would you know there's people out there that that makes their day just the fact that I did it so I appreciate every second man honestly I love you little brother Joey thank you so much man absolutely congratulations on doing everything that you've done and I see big things coming your way
Starting point is 01:10:08 and all I want you to do is when you got your big Howard Stern studio and the whole thing to have a little picture of me on the side saying that motherfucker was my brother right there that's all I want for me. You know, I always will. I have the painting in my house and that painting will be in my home for the rest of my life, Joey, every single day. I love you, brother. Thank you for coming on me, Joey. We'll stay black. Hey, thanks, Michael. And we'll stay in touch. Give your parents my best. Absolutely. I will. Much love to your family as well. You got it. Love you. Love you. Bye-bye. All right, you bad motherfuckers. That was Cassius Morris. Don't forget to watch his podcast, listen to his podcast. I don't know what the name of it is. Watch Mojo. Watch Mojo.
Starting point is 01:10:46 on YouTube. He's a great kid, and he's one of us. He's just, nobody knows who he is, but he's going to creep up on you, and I guarantee you within 10 years, you'll be on this dick, cuckuckers, just like anybody else. It's been a great week.
Starting point is 01:11:02 It really has, whether it's on Patreon or whatever. I put that picture up of me as a 9-year-old, you motherfuckers went nuts with my little Cuban suit on and shit. You couldn't believe. My mom dressed me up like that. That's the way I was when I was. a kid, I was never dressed in.
Starting point is 01:11:17 My mother saw me now, she ripped his shirt off me. My mother saw how I dressed now. She ripped half my clothes. The end of that I put a shirt shirt on that has a rip up here, and I went to my daughter's softball practice. And when I got home, I looked in the mirror, and I did exactly what my mother would do. I just ripped it. I just ripped it down to the bottom.
Starting point is 01:11:37 Go put a new fucking shirt on, your pig. Walking around with that shirt on with a hole in it, I work fucking 90 hours a week, so you could have a hole in your fucking shirt, your piece of it. of shit, but anyway. Flashbacks. You know how it is. Sometimes you got to drop it on you, motherfuckers. I love you guys. Thank you very much for supporting us. Thank you very much for watching us. We're only going to get better and better. I'm only going to get
Starting point is 01:12:01 better and better. We're going to get stronger. We're going to get mic in this thing involved. We're going to get them a computer fucking alert. Looking up shit and we're going to add more elements to this fucking show. Thank you. Thank you very much for always having my back. Thank you for supporting this. Thank you for watching and thank you for watching Cassius and you're going to enjoy them. All right. Stay black. Have a great weekend. And now for a word for my motherfucking sponsors. All right. It's Wednesday. I want to thank Cassius one more time for coming on. I hope you
Starting point is 01:12:33 guys enjoyed them. I love the kid with all my heart. But anyway, the joint is brought to you by CBD Lion. The best when it comes to CBD. How do I know? Because I know. People have sent thousands of different CBD creams and shit. CBD Lion is what's worked for me. And I have 20 different uses for it. Whether it's the tape, the extra strength cream, the bath balls, the hemp flour. Listen, the hemp flour is really good and it's very helpful in a lot of ways. Somebody referred it to me years ago.
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Starting point is 01:13:30 It's that simple. CBD Lion, the real deal when it comes to CBD. The joint is also brought to you by ZipRecruiter. Good help is hard to find. It's like trying to find, you know, a homeless person in fucking New Jersey. You're not going to find one. You could always post your job online
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Starting point is 01:15:12 Joy, what are you talking about? Free! Free! At ziprecruiter.com slash Joey. Again, that's ziprecruiter.com slash joey. You can try it for free. ZipRecruiter is going to help you save time, money, and energy, and get you a qualified candidate so you can take care of your fucking what you need to.
Starting point is 01:15:33 So try it for free just by going to ziprecruiter.com slash Joey. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to high. I want to thank ZipRecruiter. I want to thank CBD Lyon. I want to thank draft kings. I want to thank Blue Chew. I want to thank all our sponsors this week for having our back. But most importantly, I want to thank you guys for always being here on Mondays and Wednesdays.
Starting point is 01:15:58 And supporting us. You guys know we're trying our fucking best and we give it to you straight from the motherfucking heart. I love you guys. Stay black. And if you need more Joey Dears, go to patreon.com slash Joey Dears. $3.5, $10. NFT's coming. mugs are coming what the fuck knows i love you guys see you monday tip top magoo have a great weekend
Starting point is 01:16:20 stay black

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