The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - 08/07/2013 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #103

Episode Date: August 8, 2013

The brothers behind Los Gummies Hermanos join us in studio and Joey's therapist calls in live. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH at checkout for a discount. Hulu Plus. Vist huluplus.com/joey for an extended free trial. Dollar Shave Club. Visit dollarshaveclub.com/church for the most innexpensive and coolest way to shave. Recorded live on 08/07/2013

This show is sponsored by Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus lets you binge on thousands of hit shows anytime, anywhere on your TV, PC, smartphone, or tablet. Support this podcast and get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus when you go to Huluplus.com slash Joey. That's Huluplus.com slash Joey. And now, by Dollar Shave Club.com. Get high-quality razors sent to your door every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail. Go to Dollar Shaveclub.com slashchurch. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash church.

or just go to Joey Diaz.net and click on the Dollar Shave Club banner. Oh shit. Oh shit. Here we go. Another fun-filled fucking Wednesday. Oh shit. Lee Syatt in the house, the motherfucking flying Jew. Just when you thought it was safe to let your kids out of the house.

Amber alerts up your ass like a motherfucker off. Oh shit. Kick that up, Lee. Show these motherfuckers what's cracking. We ain't even smoking weed today. We're up to a different level. Hit this Lee. Oh

Oh Oh This is too much You know what Just break out the heroin Why even Forget the fucking ice cubes Get the vodka

Let's do this shit It's Wednesday You bed Motherfucker Lee Syatt Was that's how the baby boy This is what happens We didn't get me high

Before the podcast That's what's supposed to happen I just imagined What if Ken, What if there's amber alerts When Kenvella was around And they sounded an amber alert For Kenfella

Canna Fuck What do you get there Ain't nobody gonna send A umbrella For that cock sucker Trust me. When we called his mother and asked her for ransom,

his mother's like, take a hundred dollars, take it, and leave it. Fuck that, no good. Welcome. It's Wednesday, August 8th. What is it? The 8th? I think it's 8th. 7th.

7. 7.0. A beautiful motherfucking day to be alive. What? What? By the time this gets, it'll be Thursday. But even Thursday morning, you're going to be getting this. You're going to wake up.

You're going to wash your pussy. You're going to put some powder on your nuts, whatever. And you're going to go out there like a soldier because you own it. You own that fucking street. You understand me? Who gives a fuck? It's cracking, dog. Not much, man.

I'm feeling, I'm fucking high. That's the goal of the fucking day. It's to get up, a few jumping jacks, maybe a little Cuban food, something. And then you make it fucking high. That's it. As long as you make it happen. See, I believe in this.

If you're going to just get high and smoke dope and sit there like a fucking bump on a log, then hopefully a bolt of lightning will hit you or one of these fucking sharks will bite you in the fucking neck and you're over. But if you get up, get high, and plan the route. You follow me? We eat this like the GPS.

I don't know how you plan a route. That's how you fucking do it. You smoke it. You get the GPS going. The GPS will tell you, get up. Take a shower, shave, brush your teeth, orange juice, protein, wash your clothes, make your bed. You know, pick up the trash, take it out. Whatever.

They fucking tell you. Write your goals. Get out there. Stab a motherfucker. You'll hear the voices. That's what the weed does. It's the GPS. You follow what I'm saying?

sure whatever look at you you're thinking about not going to work you know it's just

and it's true a lot of people say that marijuana to us to motherfuckers I get up in the morning and just trying to flip a dollar

medical marijuana or just straight marijuana is like steroids to Ken Griffey sure you went fucking bananas started hitting

fucking home runs yeah sure because it helps you out at comms what do you want me to do society

wants me to go to a doctor and pay that guy you know, whatever, 105 for the visit, then he's going to bang me for another 200 for the blood screen and the whole fucking deal. And then they're going to figure out that the reason

having them balance, maybe I got low testosterone, but I'm going to need Adderall and I'm going to need some antidepressant to get my fucking day going. And now every fucking eight weeks, I got to go to CVS or it gets mailed to me and I got to go see this guy and I need the dosage. And you know what?

All that shit can be cured with a take of a fucking bong. A suit, dudes. A little tut-a-roots early. When you ever take a bomb and it just knocks you off for your fucking feet at 7 in the morning and you're like, what the fuck am I going to do the rest of the day? You manage. That was it.

I took into murky waters and you got out of it. That's all marijuana is. And eventually you start balancing out. Society doesn't want a legal life. And I'm not here to, I'm not a conspiracy theorist. You'll never hear me talking about legalization because I'm going to smoke it either way.

You want to throw me in jail? You're smoking a fucking joint? Throw me the fucking jail? That's all we got left. If that's what you're going to, gonna do at 50 years old, it's throw some fat fuck that goes on stage and tell dirty jokes in jail

for smoking pot in the personal... sorry, in the privacy of his own crib. Then go fuck yourself. What the fuck did Abe Lincoln fly that fucking kite for? What the fuck? What the fuck did we do all that shit for if you're gonna throw me in jail? This is what I'm talking about.

You're never gonna see me with this shirt, legalizer, you're gonna see me marching with a bunch of fucking dudes with hot pants on. I ain't got time for that shit. I'm on home smoking dope. Ha ha ha ha! What do you think you're dealing with? Thank God you're starting a history class in a week.

Because it's true. It's fucking true. What do you think you're for? Now, every day, I've got to read another. How hard is this? To get up in the morning, listen, you're a little retarded. Don't take to know. If I go to a doctor and I go, listen, I'm having some fucked up feelings.

I don't feel good. You know, my friend said maybe I should smoke some marijuana. He'll look at me. But you know what? You look a little fucking under the weather, a little retarded. Look at you. Your eyes closed and you're a little fucked up, aren't you? take a hit and see where it takes you

it's going to do a lot better for you than some fucking antidepressant and I'm here I did it already I went to the antidepressants I went through the fucking anxiety pills I went through it all and then at the end what happened was I eliminated the cocaine which don't help nobody that don't help nobody that just adds fuel

to your depression and I fucking focused on the marijuana and the jumping jacks and the acupuncture and boom here we are still I get creeped out from time to time I get creeped out I got anxiety when I got to get a fucking needle. How many times I'm gonna hit this fucking. It's like one of those

people. This reminds me of the cookie the priest lifts up at church to show you. Remember that it's a big fucking cookie. The one he gives you is a small cookie, but the one he does the magic trick with, it's a big fucking cookie and he breaks it and eats part of it. You're talking about the sound cover for the

wind cover for all the people listening. Hey listen, what the fuck? Today we're going out of car because I forgot my notebooks. If you were waiting for a shout out, go fuck yourself. I haven't happened today. I'll do some shoutouts. Don't get nobody fucking started, all right? No fucking shoutouts. We got people in studio.

This is one of the weirdest stories of my flappers one night, going crazy up there, and I talk about Jersey. And, you know, I'm from North Bergen. But the truth of the matter is I have ties into West New York because my stepfather had a butcher shop there, and my mother had ties to Union City and Hoboken because I grew up with the Bend.

So Hudson County is my fucking patois. Don't ever. Bayonne because of White Manor Burgers. That's right, bitch, as I said it. White Manor fucking burgers in Bayonne. Remember that shit? Off the 1-9 and shit. Fuck White Castle. We're going to White Manor, bitch. By the right side.

By the rig side. Look, motherfuckers dropping on. I'm up there. And I just want to introduce these guys. Give me your names. What do you want to call yourself? My name is Peter. I'm Dave. All right, and they're the fucking owners of a beautiful company Los Guimis Irmanos. Let me tell you what happened. I've been running with these guys. They're close to family because I'm tremendous friends with a cousin of theirs that helped me at first.

He talked me into going to Colorado. So if it wasn't for their cousin, I would have still been, I would have been dead because he said to me, go to Colorado, you'll shovel snow. Worst case scenario, you'll shovel snow. That's right. He goes, it's a lot better than living in New Jersey. At least you shovel snow and ski for $12 a fucking hour. And then time later, he had some bad luck and whatever.

We're here, but we connected on stage. So how long have you owned this fucking company, Los Goumese, I mean, since I met you, you guys are professional. Fucking stonlers, let's get that. When we were kids, remember your answer would say, no, no, no, no, no, no, I was like a chamaquito. I said, marijuanaero. We became marianeros.

That's what we are. I'm a mariananero. I'm not a fucking grogatita. I don't like patiyita. I'm a fucking mariananero. For people sitting there going, what the boys could say? My aunt never said that. No, your aunt said he's a fucking waste of life.

Same goes for me. I love it. I love it. All I do is, I love it. I love it. This is what I get up and think about. Yeah. Some people drink and watch football.

I smoke dope and you guys are in the same boat. We sprinkling with a couple of psychedelics here and there too. Okay, but no alcohol, you guys never get a beer and go to a football game, fuck that. I can't. Like me personally, I get gout and so does my brother. So, like, drinking is that of the question for me? So you smoke that motherfucker up? You smoke the gout out?

Pretty much. Fuck it. You see what I'm saying? Lisa and you sit here every morning crying. You better eat one of these fucking edibles today. I'm already so fucking high. You've met them before. Yeah, they came to St. Jose.

That night in San Jose, we ate one of the... How many other gummies did you eat the first night? The first night, they come in like thirds, right? They kind of split up into thirds. I had one third, and I had already had another edible and some more smoking, so I was pretty fucked up. Then the second night, because people have to understand this. People hear me on the podcast.

I don't want to take another hit, or I don't want to have another edible. Before and after everything Joey does with me, I'm taking two or three hits. I'm having a piece. piece. So the second night in San Jose, Joey, you gave me, like, you gave me like a little third outside. No, no, no. First, you gave it to me on stage when I introduced

you. You gave me a little piece. He said, eat it. I ate it. When we got outside, like, after the first show, you're like, here's another fucking piece. I already had a piece, which is more than enough. One third of 250 milligrams is more than enough. You're like, it's not fucking enough. The people in San Jose are going to eat you alive

or whatever you said. So you gave me two thirds, like another third of it. So the second that I had, two thirds, and that's all I had, besides a little weed, and I couldn't, I couldn't move. I couldn't move. Tell him why he didn't move. Explain to him, what's in between your Gumi Bears

and what other people have. We both agree. Chibo Chewes are great, Anthony Dolores has a great product. We told him about the... You know, like the Cheebo Chewes, everything is fucking to the tea. You like variety. Yeah, we like everybody does. I mean... And Dolores. Anti-Dolores, but it's amazing.

night in San Jose, I saw what these did to myself, Lee, and Eddie Bravo. It's a complete different patois. Is it because you use hash? Yeah, basically it's hash oil that we're using. So something that we could sell for like the highest price of hashware,

we're throwing in our gummies. And we're not really making that much on it either. Like it's just like a, just enough to cover the expenses of the like the ingredients to make it. Yeah, they're fucking strong. Dude, guys, they came to my house in the middle of the day on a Wednesday,

and they're carrying, like, an electrician's box, like, one of those fishermen tackle boxes full of, like, like, Joey, was, like, had a e-cigarette, and they're like, is that e-cigarette? And he's like, yeah, well, do you have a medical marijuana one? Joe was like, I do at home. They're like, wait, well, I got something for you. They pulled out, like, an 18-piece one, like a, it was a... These guys ain't fucking around. What's it called?

It's a beta-testing one. It wasn't not even out on the market yet. it's a half hash oil one half tobacco oil one but you just walk around with all this stuff yeah I mean they're ready for war if there's an earthquake these guys are ready they got 12 15 days of surplus

on them at all fucking times they're the ones that told them you could put the weed on the belt on Burbank correct if you're flying to another place in California oh no no Oakland and San Francisco came out and they were like if you're a patient my name is Paul is between y'all like you go you go where you want to go like they came out publicly and said it so you put the weed on the conveyor belt

well you know yeah I'm a patient if I'm a patient here I'm a patient anywhere you know my back's gonna hurt here like my back thing doesn't go away in Jersey when I fly out there so I bring some gummies with me

so the back thing goes away you guys are some heavy dude anxiety I love it no no I love it because people get confused ever since the medical marijuana craze out here a lot of people just jumped on the bandwagon and the rest of the country

is like wow look at those dudes and there's a bunch of fucking amateurs then there's fucking savages like these guys, that some people don't leave home without the American Express. They ripped up their American Express car. They told American Express to suck their dick. Don't leave home without us and shit.

Don't leave home without us. Who to fucking say that? People fucking... Led Zeppelin can say shit like that. Bruce Lee don't leave home without us, but who can fucking American Express? Fuck you in your car. I got to pay it a month later. You got to give me 90, 80 days to get my shit together.

I'll write you a check. I used to have an American Express. I knew I was in the sink those motherfuckers. too. Why? Because it was too much drama. You got to pay them every fucking the end of the month. Don't you pay every credit card at the end of the month? No. You could pay them, like let's say you

charge Discover. $300. You could give them a yardstick to keep you alive. Oh, do you have to pay everything? Yeah, so if you bang out of American Express and you owe them $3,900, you better pay $3,900. Or they cut that motherfucker off. Let me tell you something. It's embarrassing being poor.

It's embarrassing getting denied. You ever get the United American Express card. Oh, it's the worst. Because everybody thinks you're joey bananas. You really buy drinks for everybody. Give him a cocktail. Give them all a drink. You like the fucking bum.

Give them all. Give the fucking bum three blocks away. Get a fucking Puerto Rico on a bicycle to bring him a fucking drink. And then they say, it's not good. That's fucking bad. But I learned how to... That was one of the cards I killed

when I got divorced. I held on to that card forever. And I paid them. I kept paying them. And then I figured out how to get cash advances. You got to go to Vegas. In Vegas, though, Every code they break.

Not anymore. I think you're breaking my Jewish heart. You can't get cash advances? Not anymore. Not now. But 15, 20 years ago on American Express, listen, if you had a limit on it, the people in Vegas would get it.

The reason why half of those pit dealers, what are you called, pit bulls? Pit bosses. You know what the thing is? What kind of card you got? Because they'll come right up to you. Listen, can you get me in line of crap? What kind of card you got?

I got an American. Bank, but they don't have somebody there. Give me the fucking phone. American Bank and D. In Connecticut, and you're like, yeah. Let me call Diane. Diane, I got Lee Sayyat. Yeah, Lee. He's a nice kid. What's his account? His limit's 750. This is Paul from the fucking Mirage. What was the last time

he came out to Vegas, Marie? It's been years. My husband doesn't even fuck me in the ass anymore. What we're going to do is I'm going to give you a whole fucking week out here for free. You're going to get back from him. You're going to go see Wayne Newton. You're going to take pictures of Wayne Dune. Do me a favor. Wesley got on his credit card. out his limit but you know

give him a thousand that's I seen it done because they already have the relationship with somebody in that office they go right through it four in the morning that's what they fucking pay you for now you can't work that deal no more now everybody's got to fucking stick up their ass in the old days

a cop pulled you over if you called back in to your but uh thing said I got Lysayat here let's say Liza had got a warrant the people would call you back and go least hand is a warrant for not going to court

for a misdemeanor smack to the fucking mouth if I pull Leo and I'm cool like in Jersey I say you got to pull you open West New York but you got a warrant in Whippany, New Jersey that's fucking eight hours away okay? It's two in the fucking morning you didn't that cops were to take you back

and do pay for it because you bitch-smacked some fucking girl in college you don't give a he's going to say you're straight I'm sorry I made a mistake they'll set you going now as soon as they type your name into that computer it goes so that person where you got

a war on that got alerts that's it they get a fucking alerted and that's it's done within 10 seconds the county the come boom you got fucking leesaiette get them we're looking for him he fucking fell out of a tree with a box of fucking Oreos and a bag M&M's chasing little boys whatever the fuck

you know what I'm just saying this is going to be on the internet forever man all right what are you gonna do You know, you're a nice kid. But that's what I'm talking about. That's really weird how different life, how much it's changed. Like you could get away with different shit, credit cards. You know, once you went to college, as soon as you went to college,

and this is how it worked. This is just so you know I'm not fucking crazy people, and we're all in that category. We all went to college. You were a fucking mutt until you went to college. If you were lucky, your dad, maybe, maybe. Your mom co-signed for you to have a credit. card with a $250 limit.

Maybe if you were lucky. If you had any more than that, God bless you. I'm not putting you down. I'm just saying that most American kids go off to college with that first $250 from their parents. But as soon as you sign into fucking college and you either apply for a Pell or apply

for a fucking 2625 loan, that's a standard loan, right? Lisa, I don't know. The number is... $2,600, is the first. I forget what it's called. As soon as that paperwork goes through, within 10 days, If you're a normal American kid, even if you beat Columbia House, because all of us beat Columbia House, even if you beat Columbia House,

you will get three or four credit card applications with guaranteed cards already approved credits. And it's a lot more than the 250 your fucking parent gave you. So what do you motherfuckers do? We'll keep the 250 our parent gave them. We won't abuse that. We'll show them that we're behaving, but we'll get these four nickels. We're going to get these four nickels. This is my fucking margarita money.

This is my pussy money and shit. And we all beat one of them. And there you fall into the system as an American. Now you've got bad credit. Because we don't know it's fucking 18. We thought, fuck it. We're not going to send the payment in 18 unless you're borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. You're not really going to pay that credit card.

They throw you into the system. They know if they send 10 of you's credit cards. Five of you motherfuckers are going to pay it. Five years are going to go on. Then they're going to juice you, which is exactly what they want. So what are you owe me? $100. You know what?

You're a college student. Send me $5 a fucking month. You're sitting there going, $5 a month, I got a deal. Fuck them hoes. You're going to be sending them $5 a month for 10 fucking years. Because they're just juicy.

That's exactly what the fuck they want. It's ego looms charking. It's ego. Yeah, it's corporate loan sharking. Now it's even worse. That's when I went. I'm a fucking old faggot. I'm like Liberacee and shit.

You know what I'm talking about, I'm talking about now it's got to be done a complete different system. Lee was telling me something very interesting that you're in it for fucking a loan shark of colleges. Fuck it, yeah. I have over probably $60,000 in college loans that I have to pay back and I'm doing

I'm basically doing what you just said. I pay, I think it's $270 a month. Which is who got? Which is nothing. Nothing. Most of it's the interest. It's in the interest. These poor fucking kids and then he told me that this motherfucker told me that when you go for an interview, they don't

even talk to you about college. No. They don't even say to you, so, oh, you went to the, But you went to, this kid went to the real deal. Do you want, no, no, they didn't even mention fucking, are you fucking, I would be insulted. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what college did you go to, bitch? I don't see no diplomas on your fucking ball. You know what I'm saying? When you go to a doctor, you see those diplomas, that's what knocks you off your feet, right?

They put you in there. The doctor don't come right in there. He put you into the sit down and look at the pictures of the giraffe and shit. But after you look at the giraffe and the house, it's on fire, boom, there's three fucking diplomas. Am I lying to you? Yeah, and he's got copies in every fucking room. That's a bitch. Fuck. No, it's crazy. Like, luckily, my parents, my dad, when I think I turned 16, he came down with a credit card, and I think it was linked to him because they wouldn't just give it to me. But he said, if you don't pay this, I'm cutting it off. So I've had, I've had one since I was 16, and I've actually got, like, any credit card debt. But I know so many kids who got that, because, like, they send it to your school mailbox. And, and a lot of kids don't have jobs. And, like, right now, I would, I, like, wouldn't have an apartment. Because every time I go get an apartment, they always, like, oh, you actually have good credit.

Because people my age can't get anything and you can't you can't get a job without good credit Can't get an apartment can get a car and it fucks you up you just got good credit didn't you Joey? Like a couple years ago? Like you and your wife? I had tremendous fucking credit all the way and you're talking to somebody who was a stone cold criminal But I always carried a credit card that no matter Wind or high water I paid that motherfucker off and I had that one since 85 I had that fucking card that means I had that card that means I had that car Yeah, 23, 20, something like that. I had never gotten a card before.

One day I went to a Chinese restaurant with a stolen credit card, and I applied for this card, and they sent me a car for maybe $2.50 that paid on time. I had that card until about eight years ago. I couldn't hold it no more. It was like $79 a year for the fee. That card saved me in the road. I would go on the road and get a flat

and all that shit when I first started to count me. Then, same thing happened, guys. I went to Colorado Mountain College. Nobody gave a fuck. I paid out of my pocket. It was nine credits, whatever, $800. I paid it. Once I went to see you bold and I had a transfer

and I applied for that first 26, 25 guys, they sent me everything. And here I, I mean, it was fucking amazing. And I had those cards when I went to prison. And I had those clean. They were clean. When I went to prison, they were clean. I didn't believe in using credit cards at that time.

And then when I got out of prison, I started using that $251. And I started using it at a harvest restaurant. somewhere else somewhere else then when I got divorce guys that's when I learned

about credit cards and how to shuffle them and how to draw money out of an ATM card and the pin Discover used to send you checks yeah they still sound else you could be over the drawing

I remember one night I went to pick up this girl I had no fucking dough and I had one of those checks and I went to a bank and I said let me just try no money nothing I went in there

$1,000. If you're going to go for broke, you got to go for broke. I wrote one for $1,000, gave it to the chick at like 11.30 at night. You gave me 100. I said, oh, my God. That Monday morning, though,

the first call I got was from Discovery. You're over your limit. You're going to go give that money back. I said, you're going to go fuck yourself. That money's gone. I already snorted that nigga. That thing is done. The Colombian got that motherfucker right now.

You're fucking crazy. That's crazy. Crazy. And then I had one more and I did it again. And this time I banged them out for like $2,500. And they fucking had me on the phone that night. Let me tell you how cold blooded those credit cards were. They found out my comedy schedule. No, they didn't.

Just they fucking did. Before you had a website too. Before websites. And they would call the club. So I'd get to the club and they go, some guy calls here for you. There's some comedy promoter. I thought it was HBO. Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. man, yeah, this is Marty. Hey, Joey, how you doing? Yeah, great. Marty, this is Metro from, you know, Visa, and your heart's broken. I remember one that I was trying to fuck a bartender,

and the phone rang at the bar. And she's like, who? Who? And I'm like, thinking I'm a pen, and she's like, it's for you. It's a visa. That girl looked at me. I looked at her, like, what the fuck? They knew. This was at the broker in and Boulder, Colorado. I'd never forget that. I used to do Tuesday nights.

and one night I'm at the bar doing blow at Valiums and shit And like the phone for you I didn't want to lose HBO Hold on was like How you doing That's Marty from Visa Are you having a good time

Do you have blow in your pocket Fucking crazy You ever get a call from one of those motherfuckers They're relentless The first time they call you They fuck you up too Because you're fucked up So you don't know what they're talking about

Oh No you don't know what the fuck What do you mean I didn't pay Fuck you I paid No you didn't Know what the worst thing is, and it pisses me off, is like, if you miss your payment by one day, and it's never on the first, it's always, like, doing, like, the seventh. So, like, I missed my payment last month. Capital One charge me $25, just for one day late.

And, like, even if you go to pay it online, sometimes, like, if it's after 3 p.m., that means it's 6 p.m. mountain time, and that's when they close. So, like, that's how they get me all the time, because I usually pay, but sometimes I'm late, $25. bucks. Let me tell you some. You guys have no idea. When I first got on with Sprint, I went to Beverly Hills. I was just walking one day. And there was a kid out there. This is 10, 12 years ago. This is why I love Armenians, by the way.

This is why I love Armenians. And again, if you got it, you got it. If you don't, you don't. Just the way life is. I walk into a sprint with Terry Clark, 2002, and we apply and they giggle off and they come back to like, you're in no danger. There's no way you ever get a phone. from Sprint. I said, okay. And I kept

my beeper. I did Spider-Man, too, and they kept me on the set for like 9,000 days, so I had a little cash. So my buddy took me to his Sprint, and we were talking with him. I was like, listen, I can do anything you want to do. Just let me know what the fuck you want to do. I'm like, dog, I just need a phone. And at that time, that's when it was like 600 minutes for $49.99.

That type of shit. What I wanted was on limit. It was $1.99. And they said, $1.99. back in a 149 or something fucking crazy something ridiculous guys and the guy came back to the Armenian he's like I got you 200 dollars

but I always pay that bill on time because they do something weird at Sprint by the day and there's been days where I would wake up in the morning my phone would be shut off and I call Sprint and go what's going on I paid the bill and they're like you did but it came on the cusp

so it's if my bill would be $201 they would Cut it off, dog. There was a time I owed him 30 cents that Sprint to cut my fucking bill. Sprint, don't fuck around. This is 10 years ago before 9-11.

I don't even imagine what the fuck they're doing now. They cut it off for 30 cents? I've been with the same service as day one. I love them. I would never change at this point. What the fuck? Now I go in there to give me upgrades.

I've been there for eight or nine fucking years. They love me. They're good for that. They do for accessories? Yeah, I'm a Sprint O.G. Now, they send me Christmas cards. They sent me a fucking violin. What up, Lisa, yeah. Look at you, the cock.

So, guys, explain to me what I just smoked, because I had, like, two small-ish hits, and I'm... And you're going to do another one. I'm going to do another one for. I'm on our face. Me too. You can't walk on one, you know what I'm saying? That's what you said. We got to call. Oh, shit.

Good afternoon, doctor. Yes, hello. How are you? How are you, doctor? I am fine. Technically, I'm not a doctor. Okay. I just want to clarify that.

I'm all about accuracy. see. So not a bit, what were you going to say? What are you technically, break it down from me? Technically, I'm a clinical hypnotherapist. I also have advanced. I've got my master's in spiritual psychology,

and, you know, I have a lot of, you know, training toward my PhD, but actually I've decided to go into the direction of more shamanic studies and energy healing versus a clinical psychologist, which once I was on that track. So this gives me a lot of flexibility. I've studied with a lot of masters, teachers, and energy healing and done all kinds of subtle energy healing, which is very effective with mind-body medicine.

I was referred to you for a hot topic on this podcast. We talk about a lot of crazy stuff. One of the craziest things we discussed that people go, you know, their response is huge is fear, fear of overall fear. And I was referred to you because of my fears, basically had something had triggered or whatever, and I kept getting panic attacks. I've been getting panic attacks, you know, on and off all my life, not knowing what they were. Not knowing what they were.

And the last three months, they just got to a point where they wouldn't let me know. wouldn't let me do what I really wanted to do. So I was referred to you by my other doctor, Frank, who's also been on the podcast, Dr. Bredici. And I got to tell you, I feel great. I'm so happy to hear it. And, you know, fear is such a pervasive issue across the population, and it has so many effects. So many effects in one's not only quality of life, but what?

a person can manifest in their life. So fear, working with the energy of fear has been one of my specialties. Now, one of the things you suggested to me, we put together a toolbox. And, you know, the beauty about this island you've taught me to form whenever I have a problem. It's not even that, doctor, I forgot to tell you that before I go on stage sometimes, I pee my pants. You know, I think, I don't know if we could discuss this. So I have fear at all different levels. But Monday, I was walking in for my last knee shot.

Okay? They were going to shoot me in the knee. Plus, I broke my pinky. So I was a little scared that they were... I thought it was the bone under the pinky. Doc, I'm dead seriously. You learned so much from yourself and from what you taught me. That's why I really wanted you to be on the podcast and call in.

So as I'm walking upstairs, Doc, I sit down. I give him my name, Jose Diaz. Boom, they call me in. And I'm sitting there waiting for the doctor to shoot me in my knee. And doctor, do you know for... a split second, that fear started to get me, right? And I started to get the sweat from the top of my arm, my armpits and my palms. And all of a sudden, I said to myself, you know what?

Why am I scared of? I'm on my island. I'm on my island of serenity. And one of the new things I came from is one of the things that I don't experience in my island is any of those feelings anymore, which are like anything to trigger me, whether it's anger, anxiety, jealousy, anything in that. that vein, I don't want it on that island. And do you know that?

Beautiful. I didn't faint. I didn't faint. I didn't faint during the x-rays. I didn't faint. I think it's great. You know, the island of serenity has been studied. A lot of people for fear want to do deep breathing because what we're dealing with is the

adrenaline response on the body, which is a physical fight-flight mechanism. So what the island of serenity does, it actually, actually, when they study it, it pulled the adrenaline out of the body. It has this effect. So it actually is more effective than even deep breathing. It is just an, you know, and it really is an energy treatment. Because if we can go to a place of peace and calm and beauty and gratitude in our lives, which basically the island of serenity represents, then our whole energy shifts.

And fear does not live in that realm. So what I really try to do is help clients get into the big picture. What I call the big picture, which is a big picture that is really an umbrella of gratitude and beauty. And if you can live there versus, you know, fear and jealousy, like all these words that you've just said, that you, anger, all of that, there's just, they are completely two different levels. You cannot have fear and gratitude in the same space. Your fear and faiths in the process. They just don't go.

So you can really lift yourself out and move to this other space. You're going to see your blood pressure drop. You'll feel healthier. You'll feel more grounded. And you know what? One of the greatest benefits, your mind gets calm, so your thoughts get more positive. You know, it's the real reason I, it was affected my breathing, and I would always be scared. And it wasn't even when I was in the bottom playing jujitsu.

It was even when I was on top and being the aggressor, I would just go into this panic, and I'd have to tap myself out, even as I was on top of the guy. And lately, I've just been, before when I go in there, I eliminate all the fear. We discussed, you know, so what if I faint? You know, so what? And then it comes to you. You're not going to faint.

And I go somewhere where some crazy guy in Jiu-Jitsu in Chicago told me, he goes, do not play Jiu-Jitsu unless that person loves you. And you love that person. So now when I do that stuff, I put myself to, like, I love this person. And nothing happens to him. I'm controlled. My breathing, I take my steps, my positioning. So.

Well, by the way, I got to say something about that. By saying that you love this person, that's the energy we're talking about that gets you out of the fear realm. Love and fear do not live in the same place either. And that's a wonderful technique to move and really see people through the eyes of love. That's a really wonderful technique. So you just, I can't, you know. If somebody would have told me five years ago that you could help me the way you have, I would argue with them and not believe it.

And I am blown away, doctor. I am blown away in my behavior lately. I'm blown away. It's affected my anger levels. It's affected my, you know, I usually just go from zero to 99 in two seconds. Now I go from zero to 40. And at least I look around. I say a few bad words.

And I'm all right. Well, you know, this is, see, the thing is this is all about energy management, and congratulations, you are becoming a master of fear and anxiety. That's what this is. It's all about mastery. It's mastery of your energy. It's mastery of your life force. I would love to get into doing some what I call journeys with you,

which is some more of my shamanic work, energy work, because I think we can even transform more energies here. And really in life, it's all about getting lost energies back, recovering those energies, integrating them, and bringing them to this state of love. I mean, that is really what it's about. So you're really practicing this on a beautiful way. So why would you feel, have fear?

anymore if that's where your energy is. If your energy is in a vibration of love, it doesn't exist in the same paradigm. You see what I'm saying? You know, this is where the comedy for me, I'm confused, doctor, because for me, in my realm of comedy, and I need to be a little scared before I go up. After talking to you and doing the work at home in my notebook and whatnot, and I realize that that's normal to have that fear as long as I control it. As long as I know where I'm going with it, okay? I'm doing 65. There's no cops around here.

But I'll go back to 55 once I hit the light. You follow me, stuff like that. Yes, absolutely. Mastery. The word is mastery with the capital M. Being a master and being able when something does not support you to say, so what? when it is normal for the mind to throw out of fear.

Let's talk about the trash can. I know you like that concept. Why don't you tell me what's happened to you with your thoughts and the trash can we discussed? Well, I tell you what's happened. The thoughts have slowed down. I've been using the trash can for like two and a half weeks or three weeks, and maybe the process is it's on my right hand side. It's just a circular little garbage can.

I don't even have a rouse bag in that. Like usually you have like a little plastic bag and you take it out. Hell no, I just throw that out because and it's, you know, with me, my mind runs away with me. Again, not only does my temperament go from zero to 60, my mind goes from, my friends are here visiting from San Jose. And you know us, we're Cuban, we're very superstitious. I'm the type of guy that once you get in the car, I worry about you. Just me, I worry about you. And once I worry about you, all of a sudden I'm going, all of a sudden I'm seeing the truck tip over.

I'm seeing a guy cut you off, a Mexican dude on a bicycle by mistake, he don't even know. He cut you off and your truck flips over. That's where I see my mind. And then I got to pull over and I just say a prayer for you. Why did I just put myself through that torture? That's torture for six minutes. Then I feel bad about myself for thinking that way. And then for another six minutes, I think about where did that come from?

Was it something I was born with? So, you know, now before it even hits the, it even butterflies, I take that throat, throw it away. When my wife tells me the afternoons that she's going to target with the baby, six minutes into the flight with the baby, I'm like, I should be in the car with them. What happens? Why not? And I sit there for 20 minutes in hell until they come back. I can't call her. I can't call her 18 times. So I sit there in hell. I don't have those thoughts no more. So as soon as the thought comes in, I take the thought and I just, I don't even open it. Like it used to be that I would open it and look at it.

Right. No, I started closed. Now it just comes. I put a, I check it and I delete. Boom, it goes into the trash can. And I even make a mental note after I got like five buckets in there. Like after I got like four bad ones, I empty the trash. I see myself going to the window.

I love it. You have to and that's it. Yeah, it's important because the mind can activate. And when you use your mind, you can't afford to have a negative. thought. And really the truth is when you get into it, negative thinking is an extravagance to even allow yourself to have it. Why isn't an extravagance? Because it affects your whole mind-body connection. Cortisol comes into the bloodstream. It lowers your immune system. There are so many effects of a negative thought. You can't be frivolous and just say, well, I'm going to go have a negative

thought. What you want to do is create in your life through positive thinking, the positive outcome. So let's use some examples of what you just said. When your wife gets in the car with your baby, you see her arrive safely and happily as an example. When your friends travel in the car, you see the car in perfect condition and then, you know, arriving at their location. That's how you want to use your thinking. in a positive way. No, you're right. That's what I've been trying to really work on lately, and it's...

Doing a great job. Yes, no. Because you're having results. Well, you know what? Years, I didn't know... I knew what you were talking about from day one. And the last session I had where you really hit home, I've been trying to get at some point of a day where I left there

to get that shine back in my face. I've been trying to just sit and breathe and going to my little... island and thinking about the good things that I have. So I'm really working on this, Arna. I didn't want you to think that I just, I'm a hit and run type of guy. I know that I needed to work on this. It was affecting me. And you know what?

The blood pressure, as soon as I walk in those doctor's offices, they make me nervous. As soon as I walk in those doctor's offices, they make me nervous, except the ones I'm comfortable with, Frank, my acupuncturist. It's a fear when you walk into these doctors. offices. What's the fear thought there? Bad news. It's like the same fear when you put a suit on. You never put on a suit on for nothing

good. It's either court, a funeral, or a wedding. Nothing good out of a suit, you know? When you go to a doctor's office, even if you're going in for the simplest thing, as you're driving, as you're parking, I don't care who you are, I don't care if you're Johnny positive and you walked over

an island full of coals, you're going to think, what if they draw blood and there's something wrong with me? Anybody who's normal. It's just the intense of it, how much you let it affect you. So what would happen if you walk into the doctor's office and you hear and you create in your mind wonderful outcome, congratulations, blood pressure is great, and just create that outcome. In other words, same principle, negative thinking in the trash, because this is the thing. in manifestation, it's a wide spectrum.

It can go from extremely negative to extremely positive. Every possibility exists out there. And with our minds and our intention, we can pull down the result. Do you understand what I'm saying? So why not choose the result that you want to create? So that would not even be anymore in your vocabulary. and what you could do is practice it, make some doctor's appointments, and practice going in there with positive outcome.

That's it. And, you know, of course, you can use your island of serenity when they're taking your blood pressure and just, you know, go in there, seeing them through the eyes of love. Same way you see your jih Tjitsu partners, okay? The 405? 405, you know. That's a good way. I never thought about that.

405 can be challenging, but the same way. You know, it's all how you see it, positive outcome all the time. And you're going to see, you talk about that light, that we all have an inner light that exists in us. And once you take the film off of negative thinking and where we're giving up, because it's already our natural state, it just goes full, you know, full bloom. So I caught the interfacial. When I'm working with clients, as you saw, I said, okay, go look in the mirror now. What did you see after we worked together when you looked in the mirror?

My skin was shiny. A film of light gray had been taken off it. My eyes looked clear. Yep. I didn't see the halo or nothing, but everything else, and I felt great when I left there. That was the most, you know, the last,

the one thing, even after the first time I saw you, it felt like a fist had been taken off my chest. Like now, I didn't have that piece anymore. There had been a piece there for who knows how long. Who knows how long that piece was there. And I don't have that no more. I feel myself walking upstairs, now and I feel myself being a little lighter, you know, just so whatever we discussed or you did

worked, and I thank you for that, and that's why I wanted you to tell you. Well, I look forward to being able to work with you again soon. I, with the level of mastery, because, you know, it's really apparent you're a very disciplined person and you have your, you have the ability to create and through your discipline, I I'm really looking forward to doing other work with you that I think can help you even move to the next level. So thank you for the opportunity to speak with your audience today. I really appreciate it. How can they contact you?

You have a webpage where you have resorts? Well, anybody who would like to contact me, you can contact me at this phone number 310-614-5352. and when they call into that number, there'll be further instructions on that number, 310614-5352. And I love working with new clients and being of service. So once again, thank you. Thank you.

And have a great day, and I will give you a call this weekend and we'll get together, Doc. I love it. Much love. Have a great day. Thank you. Bye-bye. You know, guys, I had to go to work.

on this shit. We talk about it on the podcast and for me to do my fucking job with you cocksuckers, I gotta look inside and see what makes me fucking go crazy. I'm saying, Lee, not eating ass shit like that. You know, I love Lee, but because he don't sniff a chick's asshole, I get angry with him. A normal human being, it would just say, fuck it. You know, you don't like ass. To me, you're missing something.

So get it together, cocksucker. Do you eat a gooey? No, I can't. These guys came all the way from Santa Jose. I smoke. You see how high him? Well, give me another pipe. Let's get some pipes going. Let's get some James Brown this motherfucker. Oh, I got a hit loaded for him. Oh, shit. Blast that shit.

Give him the, give him the, uh, give him the fucking, whatever. Oh shit. Oh, James Brown is a bit. Oh, got to get back with Lisa at the Flying Jew man. I hate you, Joey. Revenge! What? I need Dr. Arna on the phone.

I'm having negative thoughts. She had an doctor, you kid. He's not a doctor. No, she's not a doctor. She's a hit her. the therapist, but, bro, they help me out. That's all that matter, man. I'm not freaking out no more.

I was freaking out, guys. Even that stare by the... That Friday, I had a nervous breakdown to improv in San Jose. I just controlled myself. I made them feed me. Let me get one of those killers. What happened to the music?

Oh, I was thinking about it when she was on the phone. No, no, one of the... I have three here. No, B. If I want one of the vapors, whatever. What do they call? Dabs. Yeah, that's.

And these things will fuck your world up. We're dabbing here today. Ain't no reef in this motherfucker today. We're taking it to the next level. Look at Lee. What did you drop? A pen. A pen, you're fucking, mother.

I was thinking about him when she was on the phone. Because I've had some stuff. I never wanted to see anyone. But a lot of stuff with that, like, you talked about it the other day, and this is kind of embarrassing, but you asked me about it on Sunday, and I've been thinking about it for the whole week.

you talk about like losing your bone or something sometimes and I went through a period of about a year and a half, two years where I'm healthy I'm a young guy but like one time it happened when I was drunk I used to use my bone when I was on blow not when I'm healthy when I was doing

No I know no you know you ask me on Sunday if I ever did I don't say you don't say you were talking about a different situation I asked you But I went through like two years where I would get nervous and like it got to the point where like I started thinking like not Viagra but taking those like over the counter pills and it would get worse and worse and even when I lost the weight it like didn't get better but like I started thinking a little

positively like I just started seeing someone and the first time I was nervous but after that first time like I started getting less nervous and it hasn't hasn't been a problem with sin like it's how much of mentally like that you would think like if you were at Jiu-Jitsu like the first time it probably wasn't as bad the second or third or fourth time like the more you thought about it did get worse what's that that like the bad thoughts you were having well that you you know you you can't breathe so right away you i would go to i'm gonna fucking get up pass out faint and then i'm gonna have a heart attack right here on the mat in front of these nice fucking people who just pay to do jihitsu yeah they're gonna see a horrible situation so i would take

myself there yeah but i'm saying did you like the second or third time you went to do ditsu were the feelings worse than the first time? Like, was it worse, the more you thought about it? Yeah, the more I would go in there, it would get worse. It would get worse and worse and worse. And I just stopped thinking about it. Yeah. I just stopped.

I said, fuck it. I'm going to go on an exercise. This is just exercise. This is no big fucking deal. You can't breathe, you get up. And then I started getting to the point where I would go so long, I would doubt myself. Holy fuck.

I've been doing this for six minutes. I'm about to pass out. So that's to the point where I'm at now, where I'm doing so good. with it that I think I'm going to pass out but as long as I keep breathing and focusing and on top of what I'm doing, everything's everything, you know what I'm saying?

Lisa, yeah. I have gone to the point where I have no idea what you're saying. You know what the fuck I'm talking about. So let me ask you this. How do you come up with this recipe for these Los Ombris-Malo's here? Let's go meet some of us. It was my brother, Peter. Peter, break it down for your uncle Joe. I just took the recipe I found out and modified

it to my taste. And you've been cooking marijuana and making it into fucking tremendous edibles for how long now? Well, these gummies just for a few months, but I've been making edibles for years. For years? Now, you're Cuban. Yes, I.

And you grew up where? West New York, New Jersey. Since day one? Since day one. God, googly-moggling. I was born in Weehawk and that little hospital by the Dairy Queen. North Hudson, Hollywood. Across the street, that's when my dad died.

It used to be a tremendous fucking Dairy Queen. That's what I remember as a kid, your dad died. We'll take you for ice cream, man. But it was good. that Derek winner. And up the corner from there, it was like Rapido taxi on 48th Street. You know, explain 48th Street for people who didn't know. 48th Street was just Cuban. When I was growing up in the fucking 70s, once you made that right on 48th Street, it took you and it went down a little hill, that's it. That was the cigar shops,

a couple Cuban places, a furniture store that cute. It was just Cuban. What about the pipe store that's been there since like the 70s? East West. East West. that's still there. In fact, the guy, two people have called me from there recently and said, guess what we're at? We're at East West. We figured, I bought my first, do you know in 1980 fucking two, I bought a crack cocaine

kit there. The little scales and the... Everything. The bullets. The Bindles, the bullets. I think the singer from there was in a band called The Banks. When I first started going to fucking that place, East West, it was one floor,

guys. This is 19, First time I went to East West was probably 75 because my mother had the bar in Union City so I'd walk up down the corner. Guess what was up the corner there growing up? Ginos. Gnos is Kentucky Fried Chicken and McDonald's put together. Bam!

Nobody knows that one. Nobody remembers that one. It's either Kentucky Fried Chicken and McDonald's or Kentucky Fried Chicken and Burger King put together. They sell chicken and hamburgers around the corner. Then you moved in, there was a pizza place. Then you moved in, there was like a Cuban restaurant. And then it became all Cuban on that side.

There's a supermarket where you make a right-hand turn. You guys know what I'm saying? A bakeries and the whole fucking deal there. Then when they closed that chicken place, it became a liquor store. And a kid in my neighbor, Sabatino. His father was one of the manities. It was the bag man of the place.

So he had the keys. I swear to God. Sabatino was a junior in high school. We were seniors in high school. Sabatino would wait at home to his father fell asleep. We'd steal the fucking key to the liquor store with the alarm. We'd get a car, go up there, and rob the fucking liquor store. That's what we robbed.

The case of beer and the bottle of Jack Daniels before, you know, what's those nights? Where they give out the awards, most popular to succeed, all that shit. Like homecoming? Homecoming, it's like in, this is true. It was like in the, because in those towns it was crazy homecoming. Because it's like a bunch of Puerto Ricans. Who are you kidding? You know, they have the homecoming at the high school.

Then the after party is like at this dingy bar. The one time was by Rose. What's the fucking stadium in West New York? Roosevelt Stadium. There's a bar right there, right? Like a little disgusting bar. I used to get Quailout's there. I used to get Quailudes there from fucking, oh my God, all those places.

Those are Quailoot spots in the fucking 70s and 80s. Oh, no, that's called Miller Stadium. Miller Stadium. Roosevelt Stadium, the one of the Union City that now it's a high school. The stadium's on the fucking roof. On the fucking roof. Doug, we used to run up in the... But it's funny that the name of the company is Los Guamis Hermanos.

In West New York, every business ends with the Hermannos. My stepdad's business was Los Angeles. Los Emano canizeria. The best Cuban sandwich place now in West New York is what? The Bamas, baby. No, no, no. Those Mano. They make the Cuban steak

sandwiches. That the Yankees go eat all the fucking time with the... Those Amigos with the French fries and that motherfucker. What, Lee? What? What's fair like on 58th in Burger Line or something like that? Good, googly-moogly. And all they make is Cuban steak

sandwiches. Two types of artido. Matibba, iron beer. And that's it. Apipitas no papitas? Bapitas, no papitas. That's it. You either in or you're a cock sucker. If you're on weight watches, take it up the corner and shit like that.

But no, there used to be a Gnos there in the corner. But East West, I bought the first free basin kit. And it came with a glass, a silk stocking, so you could put the Coke through. This is crazy. But the other thing that East West specialized in was underground albums. In those days, let's say, Led Zeppelin played in the city

you got a tape recorder you taped it to your body think of how bad society has changed you took that tape recorder you strapped it to your body you went there because they didn't ah and that in those days you just went and like

but you sat somewhere and you fucking taped the album then the next day you took it to a record street you put it on vinyl you saw it for two dollars you got nothing to lose and you called it Bonzo's birthday party live and some of them sound like shit But some of them sounded good.

I had a couple of them myself. And that's like free entrepreneurial. That was like you did it from A to Z, bro. Like a Cuban dude did that. He went over there and watched Julius Priest, took it, put it on vinyl. It was a white album cover that he made it home. A poster he made himself. They sold for fucking $5, $6.

East West specialized in all those underground albums done from all those clubs, CBGBs. How was the sound? Was it okay? It was 50-50. It was 50-50. You remember what I'm talking about? Yeah, bootlegs. Bull legs.

I never knew they had bootleg music. In the 70s and 60s, that's what they did. And the Grateful Dead made a living off it. If you go to a real deadhead's house, he'll tell you, oh, the Cleveland show is in 63. What night do you want? I got the first show, and you sit there going, what the fuck? These guys in Boulder had a closet full of every show. Did you find, like, if you lived in New York and there was, like, a guy, like, let's say you were really good at it.

When you have, like, a guy, like, this guy always goes to the concerts, he sits in the, the right place and he holds it up. So, like, did he go, no guys. There was no microphone. Like, that was probably towards some crazy fuck, probably. One day took a microphone and took pictures for the album cover. I saw those

that the guys were that good. But that was like free enterprise. I still remember I had Bonzo's birthday party. I had a UFO one from Michael Shankler. That was fucking brilliant. He bought him for five bucks. It was always live as CBGV. Yeah. Well, live in the

garden. Live in the Garden. Live at National Coliseum live in fucking the one in Asbury Park you know there was always something which is really fucking interesting though really not not described but did you grow up in a bunch of little chink did you hang on that Hudson County Park a lot yeah I was like 12 blocks from there who was I telling I was telling somebody that we used to rob the beer truck there used to be an AMP on across on Bergen line across from Hudson County Park and when we were kids we'd go there about 930 and wait for the beer truck

every day, not every day, you couldn't do it every day because then they bring, you could only do like once every three months. Once he'd forget that he could get robbed

in that area, bam! You remind him. Close the gate, cock sucker. They would be, you know, they don't know,

and you pull up, and then as you got older, you had a car at least where at least you watched them. As soon as he went, as soon as he hit that fucking door, you ran up to that car, opened it up,

and you just took a beer case in and took off. That says you got older. But in the early stages, You had to run with that fucking beard. Fuck you. Fuck live events and trilect and all that shit. Let me see three dudes.

And you had to run it across the street on Bergen Island and jump over the fence and run in the fucking park. Now it becomes a county ticket. It ain't a fucking city. Like North Bergen now we're just drive by and beep at you away. Now you're a Hudson County Park. It becomes Hudson County fucking Park territory. There's always cops in there, too.

Always, always fucking cops in there. That was a great place to grow up, man. All gangsters playing Batchie Ball. Bachi ball there. Remember when they were going to shut them down, those gangsters went fucking, there used to be a grasshopper haircutting. Across the Batchie ball,

I saw fucking Vinigar Julo throw some motherfucker to that place last window one night, though, on a Friday night. Another night, the janitor I mugged one night. I used to not mug this janitor. I used to take the pills from this janitor. He used to have valiums, and I'd give him away, and then one night I robbed him.

He had pills for an epileptic. And then after that, I didn't rob him for a long time. And then one night I went up there I was in a violent rage. I was at Lyra McNeil some other dude and we saw him walking. Like,

where's the pills? We smacked him a few times. You just stopped caring like pretending like you weren't doing it. You're like, one of the pills? I felt bad. We were robbing them for like three fucking months.

You know, and then I robbed the epileptic pills and he fucked us all up. And then one night we roughed them up a little bit of him a few sidekicks. Towards the end it was terrible. You're beating someone up with a sidekick.

It used to be a chicken. place there. When I was growing up there, it was a chicken place there. Richie owned. Remember, we went to the Chan's Dragon Inn and we bumped that kid and he said that his father owned there was a chicken place there. And one of our friends that went to St. Joe's West New York from North Bergen worked there. So we'd hang out at that bar in the corner, Joan Marries. Now that bar is still there. It's just a Spanish bar now. They didn't even change the furniture. They just put a picture of Fidel in that motherfucker. And it's open for public. And it's Amigos. You know what I'm saying? It's still fucking there. It's still fucking there. All those

man it's a that's a wild shit you know and the powers struggle there like that that whole area like that the the biggest Cuban bad thing ever done was right there that the biggest Cuban bad thing that they ever did was right there on that 48th street that's where they shot the Cuban cop the undercover cop in front of Rapido taxi they fucking gunned them down right there but that was a little fucking war zone now it's death Union City was a great place man the other day was watching the premiere of the movie Dice Clay is in the Woody Allen. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they were interviewing the Cuban kid, the Spanish kid that was on, what's the show from down, the Boardwalk Empire? Did you guys watch that? I've seen that. I don't know what Spanish. Last season, there was a kid on there. And I know, I've heard before, he's from Union City. He's in everything.

He's done every fucking movie in Spanish kid. He even did the, he was in, oh, fuck, I forget. But anyway, he said Union City. It was weird that I think of all those that growing up down there, I knew that area like the back of my fucking hand, bro. I knew that area from 29th Street, from 26th Street probably. No, from 24th Street in New York Avenue all the way up, I probably knew. Pino's Pizzeria, the Fujalai Kung Fu.

I knew the fucking Carvel on 4th, for 39th Street, next to the bottom of the barrel, which was a big mafia hang out of the same. Do you mean Glenn Caspevo? No. gone. Who's in the movie Woody Allen? It's Cape Blanchett, Joy Carlin, Richard Conte, Glenn Casbio, Baldwin, Charlie Tahon,

Annie McNamron, Daniel Jenks, Max Rutherford, Andrew, Dice Clay. Keep reading. Ted, now's Andrew Long. Fuck, there's way too many people in here. John Blan, Glenn Fisher,

Brent Thayer, Christopher Rubin, Bobby Canaver. That kid. Bobby Caneval. Bobby Kana Valley. Read on his IMD. Oh, I know this guy. Yeah. But you listen to him fucking talk, and you know where the fuck he's from.

Yeah, he was in, as soon as he opens his fucking mouth. First time he opened his mouth, I knew it. First time that kid from that Pacino movie, what's that Pacino movie? Huh? I just found this one. Which one? This movie. No, what movie?

The Patino movie. I heard him talking. And I'm like, that kid's got to be from my area. And now he's a Cuban kid that owns a restaurant on Boulevard down by the water. He did a couple episodes of Law and Order. He did a good movie. Yeah, the one with Pacino and Michelle Pfeiffer. He played the Spanish kid in the kitchen.

That kid's grew up in North Bergen. He's a North Bergen kid. He has a restaurant now. Yes, that's the restaurant. He owns the restaurant now. Sure. I can always tell by a certain whang in their accent. exactly what I can break it down if I really really listen I have a friend here that's from

Queens first time I met him I asked him Queens and he goes nobody knows that I could just hear it because we're from back there we break it down Lee Syattis with the Connecticut Jews no it's Frankie and Johnny it's the movie whatever the fuck it is Tommy and Johnny you know what I'm saying but yeah is it do you feel like is it a big like a loyalty thing like would you guys like band together against like another part of New York like why like it much matter to you if you can tell the difference? No, you just... Hey, listen, man, that area was...

I grew up in that fucking area. Even when I was living on 205 West 808, my mother had that bar. So I was over there all the time. And then they just spread out. You know, I had friends in West New York. You know, when I was a kid, my love for basketball meant that I went everywhere.

I wasn't the two things that I would travel for, karate and basketball. So to play basketball at Washington School school number four in West New York. That's where I went. You had to go, you had to get an address. So right away, I go to my mother and I say, wait, you know anybody in West New York?

And she said, Conchita lives there. And I go, okay, let me use your address. And I go to school number four. And everybody would look at me like, you ain't from fucking West New York motherfucker. Because people know. But don't play the game with you. All right, let's just fuck this motherfucker up.

All I want to do is get on a team. I would try out, get on the team, and get a shirt, and then quit. Once you got the shirt that said, West New York, you're out of there. You ain't showing up no more. It was fucking ridiculous, and they knew. I remember doing that the first time. This is how bad I was in basketball.

I went up to, what was the school on 30th? To the, oh, yeah, it's a tough one there. This is a tough. You're on Burgundyland Avenue, Burgle and Avenue. All of a sudden you got to either go that way, which puts you into New York City, or you got to make a right, which puts you into North Bergen and all that shit, but you're still in Union City. There's a school on the right-hand side there.

they had a parochial league. So when I was a kid, you had your grammar school league, then you had the City Recreation League. Behind Columbia? That was my school. That was McKinley and North Bergen. But no, on the other side,

but it didn't matter. This is how many things you had done to you. Like, if you were from North Bergen, you had your grammar school team, then you had Biddy basketball, or 12 to 15, and you had P.A.L. So you had four fucking games a week. You were jamming those days.

You were fucking jamming. But if you really wanted to jam, you'd give a Union City address and play at the Union City League and a Washington school. They didn't really care. As long as you had a fucking address in Union City,

so I could put my mother's address down at the bar. So I would play up there. Get the T-shirt, fuck you. I wouldn't go back there. No, but then once you get the 12 to 15, once you get to 12 to 14, you had to pick a church. Because the church had to accept you.

This is fucking. None of you play CYO ball? Our Lady of Libra, all that shit. So you had to go to the church first in those days with your birth certificate and your baptism fucking thing. And the priest would sit you down by, okay, you want to play basketball? Why? I want to go to college. Okay, go try out.

And then Steve Rubinaccio or Ricci, Steve Riccii would have tryouts. So I ended up, I couldn't play for Our Lady of Fatima. That was my North Bergen church. I had to go to Union City to play because they were all out of you. You had to either be in the district of uptown Oh, in the parish. The parish is shit.

That's what the Catholics call it. They don't call it cities and districts. They call it the parish. So you can only have two artists out of parish basketball players. So I had to go to Union City. So it doesn't really fucking matter. We're just talking politics here. Who goes the fuck?

But I was, I knew all those areas up there. And then my mother knew all those bars up there. Because you know all the owners. I feel a tita. You know, what's the one on 56? Ebrini. It blean-di, that's a, that's a bring it if you got it in that, dog. That's a heavy-duty cube.

They used to be, so it blingie's on this corner or on this corner. If you're going up, it's on this corner or on this corner? It blingie used to be on this corner across the Cuban restaurant, right, all the way in the corner. The next to it is the flower shop. Yeah, yeah. That right, because when I used to run there, the flowership was across the street and that Blinley was always there. Then there used to be one in the corner, which was a badass motherfucker. And a bakery.

And a bakery. Nice, nice little neighborhood. Tremendous. I've seen a couple people get... There was a kid. I'll never forget this. When I was, uh... When I was, uh, about maybe nine,

the summer of my eighth grade, no, fucking early, fourth into fifth summer, I spent it working with my stepdad in the butcher shop. It wasn't on, it wasn't on Hudson Avenue. It was on the side.

There was a little building there and right next to it. Right there, 50 feet, not even 20 feet up. You could still see a beamie there. He was a little butcher. Chona canizzeria. The name was Docks Emano Canisadier.

One of the owners were Chicho. He did a bunch of time. Chichu did 20,000 years for shooting motherfuckers. He was in prison, but he was one of the owners. And my step... He held the Ekingcom. The little candy store. Yeah.

Yeah. And my stepfather had the fucking... The chanisania with him was a butcher shop. So every day I used to have to wake up and go out in the city and get the fucking meat with him. And then the other obstacle, We did it five days a week. Three days you got meat,

and the other two days you got flowers. They also owned the flower shop, which was the, it was in those days. It was the, you couldn't do numbers in there. You could talk numbers and no thing, but you couldn't call in what numbers. It's where everybody met and exchanged money.

So if the cops raided, there was no number sheets there. There was money. So that's where all the money came in after three o'clock from the other banks. New York, Harlem, the Bronx, all the money came in. in there and they count

like on they said he and I was a little fucking kid though that was amazing those days were just and I saw I knew those kids down the corner is Memorial High School so I would do all that shit in the morning and then in the afternoon I would shoot down to the fucking corner and I was

great friends with a Cuban kid named George Fagita he had like Chinese eyes they used to call him a Chinito he used to play basketball for Memorial I knew a bunch of kids in that area now and then later on Memorial was the Kuelood School that's where the deep Kuelut were over there. Everybody had them. And I forget the

names of the kids. They were bartenders in the city. And then by that time, Lucchazis had North Bergen locked up and we were buying our Quailudes from the Loucazies and shit. That's long talking time ago, Doug. That's the fuck, Lee, what the fuck you're looking at? And shit.

You look at, I'm stoned to the guilt. It was like right in the heart of a prento. Yeah, this is it. A lot of people don't know about this shit, man. This is a very, you know, all those mayor's memorial, West New York, Union City, Hoboken, North Bergen. None of those mayors ever leave without doing time.

Yeah, the governor of New Jersey hates your mayor. I saw a video you posted. And, like, governors are usually kind of quiet. Your mayor, fucking, the guy, he freaked out. He does it at every town meeting. The guy, Chris meeting, Governor Christie, you got to watch it. Just go to YouTube, smoke a fucking... And it's on his page, too.

Oh, my God. Smoke a huge joint. Get two hours to kill. and just sit there and put him on and do something else while you're listening. And here's how he'll go into it. Very nice to be here in Seaside Park, New Jersey. He'll go talk about Seaside Park when it's grown. Nothing to do with North Bergen.

Then I don't know where he'll go. You know, your municipalities are doing great here. You're down to like $2 million every two years. That's very good. Not like those bozos up in North Bergen. That fucking mayor say he don't say fucking. He starts going, that mayor sacko, what's he doing up there? $300,000.

You know, to do what? To have six jobs? You want to play it? I got it. You got to go, go. I mean, you see the crap that's going on of a North Bergen? I mean, bad enough that Nick Sacco's making 300 grand himself. Now he's paying, he's got the highest paid in-house counsel,

who then refers to hundreds of thousands of dollars in business to the firm that he's a member of, while at the same time he's a full-time employee. And then I love the guy who's been working there since 1988. but can't tell anybody what he's been doing. Well, I kind of got frozen out 20 years ago, but I've been trying to create my own work, I think, was his quote. And then when they talked to the business administrator and the other folks, they couldn't agree on what he was or wasn't doing,

and then ultimately admitted that he wasn't doing anything. But the one thing we know he was doing was kicking back about $6,000 a year of his money to whatever political cause boss Sacco wanted him to kick it back to. So I understand from reading the report, the comptroller has referred this to the vision of criminal, justice, a place where I believe it richly belongs. And now I'll let acting Attorney General Hoffman take it from here. And I will stay back. Because as much as Larkins and I would like to go back and do our old jobs sometimes, we don't get to do that. We have new jobs. But it's outrageous. It's

completely outrageous. And it's indicative of the absolute taxpayer waste that exists in North Bergen. It is just outrageous, the unchecked power and abuse of the citizens that the Sacco administration engages in. Outrageous. It almost, you know, makes his salary understandable because you need to make a lot of money to be that bad. That's on his page, and it's at a freaking college graduation. It's a Mount Laurel College, it said, Doug, I'm telling you. I'm telling you.

Those fucking mayors always, and I love them to debt. I get it. There's too much money in that area. There's too much construction, the unions. And you know what? They say, no, no, no,

but eventually they got to take something. They got to take something and look the other way. And then you get addicted. That guy's been the mayor for how long, Mayor Sacko? Didn't you say, like, one of your teachers was like a mayor of another town owned a bar and was your teacher?

Yeah. Listen, when I was growing up there, The town of North Bergen had cops, and they owned the Meadowlands Inn. That was a strip club. I seen disgusting things. I ain't mad at them. I ain't fucking mad at them.

I ain't mad at them at all. And then, in the eighth grade, my eighth grade teacher was Wally Lindzley. He was the mayor of Weehawking. Why would the mayor of Weehawking be an eighth-grade fucking teacher in the daytime in North Bergen? It had a bar at night. Then Carmine had the bar at night,

which was a cop. But the bar was a... What do you call that? Whatever, bizarre in the day time. They sell oranges and shit. I thought one of your teachers are your principals owned a bar. Maybe not.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ray Dalton, who was one of the... Always, he was one of the... But this... This guy was a vice principal. But Ray Dalton could have been the mayor in North Bergen.

But where Ray Dalton did was he really cared about the kids. Ray Dalton was a dude that was a thief, but at least he cared about the fucking kids. And if you came from a fucked up place, he dug you even more. And he had a bar. That bar on 76th Street, in North Bergen, the brass rail. Spin there since Jesus came to town. Right there, right in the corner of that.

If you come up right there, there's always a corner of North Bergen. There's always cops hanging out in there. That's always been a North Bergen city. But at one time, that was owned by Ray Dalton. And Ray Dalton was a cool motherfucker. Ray Dalton was the one, I went in there one night. I went in there like a week later in one night. He goes, can I talk to you for you for saying?

How you doing? He goes, listen, they're looking for you. they're looking for you. They went off to the school, looking through the yearbooks, they're looking for you. He's the one I told him. He just disappeared for a couple weeks.

That was my vice principal the year before. That's when vice principals were cool. You know what I'm saying? He was a cool motherfucker. He caught us doing something. And they wanted to suspend the senior year,

and he went to bat for us. He really was a guy, guy. He was getting his dick sucked, too, by a student in those days. My name was Gabby. She sucked my dick one time, too. I pulled the old on a cutty bullet.

She had four. fucked up green teeth. I didn't give a fuck in those days. I remember she pulled in and the car, the ass was still left out of the car. I didn't give a fuck. Right? They were wrigo. Used to live. God bless his soul. What a fucking nightmare of those days. Oh, that's cute. Have you guys ever used

Hulu Plus? Have we used Hulu to watch TV online? Sometimes. Yeah, well, we're sponsored. I love my used to look at it. I got him, man. Just say, look, at people. It's time to take a fucking break. Now, for a word from our sponsors. Hit it, Lee.

Well, we got two. We got Hulu Plus. And for you guys who don't know, if you go to HuluPus.com slash Joey, you get two weeks free, and they have every show you want. They have family guys. Like, they have the day after.

They have all the NBC shows, all the Fox shows. If you watch, like, the show with Jimmy Fallon, that's all on the day after. They have the daily show the day after. And all you have to do is go to Huluplus.com slash Joey. You get two weeks free. After that, it's only $7.99. And it's fucking.

awesome. I know Joey loves it. His wife loves it. I love it. My wife loves it. He's my wife out of my fucking fucking fucking air. And I know a lot of you guys have been signing up, so thank you. We really do appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I mean, we got a call from Hulu last week saying that you guys are fucking savages. So again, we were going to stop the campaign since you guys like it. You guys love it. Fuck it. We love it. Keep going. Joey Diaz.net. We got a Hulu thing there. What are they pressed in the box?

They pressed Joey in for that. But also at joeydiads.com. Now we have a Dollar Shave Club and we I we didn't explain it well last time bring it down for these people so I I went to CVS last night to do a little Jew research to get an eight pack of the of any popular razor it's 30 bucks how many razors come in the package eight eight for that one for a regular popular brand okay you also have to pay at least 10 to 15 bucks for the handle that's 40 bucks and that's that's at least 30 bucks a month if you go to dollar shave club dot com slash church They have a bunch

They have three options that you can do It's fucking It's the best You have a $1 month plan A $6 month plan And a $9 a month plan $9 a month and $30 That's $22 more dollars to smoke dope

Get refa with your buddies Get a new Yamika Get a fucking Pemetti petty And it's either a two blade A four blade or a six blade Thing and it's They send you four cartridges a month Five if you're on the two blade one

You change it once a week And they send it right to your house And how much is that a month? The two blade plan is $1. One fucking dollar. That's what we give you. Give them the $6 package. The $6 package is the four stainless steel blades.

And they said this one is the one that your girlfriends can use to if they want to shave. There you go. And then the $9 one, the executive, is six blades and it has a little aloe bar on it that will help your skin. There you go. And you can get them. They now have wipes called One Wipe Trow. When you go to the bathroom, instead of just using toilet paper, you can use the One Web Charlies. There you go.

That's $4 for $40. There you go. And they have shave butter. They have fucking everything. It comes right to your door. So I love it. Cut this shit. Go to Joey Diaz.

No. What is it? It's joeydes. Joey Diaz. Dot net. And there's on there. There's a dollar shave club banner. Press Joey in the box.

No. No church. Church. Press church. Press church in the box. Then right from there, go to Hulu. I've said it. Listen, don't bust my box.

I'm balls, people. Please, don't aggravate me at all. You know, I love you to death. We work hard on this podcast. We care less about that. What we're telling you is, this is a once-on-lifetime-type deal. You don't get these too much.

Two fucking three weeks, $7.99. Bang. Then, Dollar Shave Club? Are you fucking kidding me? I don't even know what I spend the month. You know why? Because in every city I leave, I leave a fucking blade.

I don't even know. My wife buys these other ones. I keep cutting myself. I told it, if I cut myself and I faint, I'm going to get that fucking blade and cut you like a fucking Puerto Rico. I swear to God. So now I just signed up for dollar

And I'm gonna do this I'm going with you motherfucker So if I do it Try it For the $6 you get the female packets too She comes over She saves a monkey She's got the little alo

Whatever you don't get stabbed To the fucking eyeball With a bad hair There you go Who's better than us Dollar Shave Club What's the code word? The dollar shave club

Is it dollar shave club Dot com slash church There you go And then For the last one Also code word church It's on it That's right.

Fucking Lee, thank God you hear. You know what? I just had a hemp porch chocolate bar. Tremendous. Tremendous. Held me over. The guys brought some fucking Cuban stuff from Portos. We had a couple little bocadito.

What do you call these fucking things? Batolito. Batta Lito. They're tremendous. No vegan shit in this fucking house. It's straight up. I had a couple hemp porks bars, some water. And I'm ready to go.

Listen, when in doubt, on it, fucking is on it. I'm telling you right now. On it is on it. I'm telling you right now. My knee feels good. my toe feels a little better from the fucking strong bone I ain't gonna lie to it still hurts

but don't hurt as bad as it did on fucking Friday give it a shot go to onit.com pressing fucking church get 10% off get put on the list if not do it listen I'll tell you what let's say you want to walk let's say you've been walking every day

in the fucking mailbox like doches is and just hit the fucking thing today I want to go to a different fucking zip code okay I want to go to a different fucking mailbox pop two of those fucking shroom texts and get back to me tell me you don't want to walk to that one to the one next to that. Money back guarantee from on it if the fucking thing don't want to make you walk 10

fucking miles, all right? What else Lee? Hit me with something good here. What do we got? Lee, did you eat a gummy bear yet? He's got a little piece. You have me three hits with that. Eat a little piece. I don't know where it went.

Get a little piece. I got to... You got to do nothing. I got to go to work in 10 minutes. What fucking work? You're going to quit. Call the guy up. Tell him to suck your dick. So, guys, tell me why this

taste so good because I was telling you when you got here. and for people asking, like, some people think, oh, you're sponsored by all these people. These are just our friends that we met up, I met up one of Joey shows. Why does this taste so... These are not friends. We're a fucking family.

We just like them. They're awesome people. And they're in town. When they brought these, listen, if they weren't my friends and they would have given me one of these gommies and they were passing through town, I would have had them on.

Because I think these motherfuckers will fuck your world up. Listen, in my world, people, I don't fuck around. I'm not going to give you something because I'm like, I'm not going to go, okay. No, I give you something because. I'm telling you, I put my stamp on these motherfuckers. When something kicks me at my fucking ass, this is the mule. This is the real deal.

No need to fuck around. I give you the best fucking products. And these ghoumies are a savage. Trust me. I saw their eyes. Why they taste so good? Why they taste so good? All that taste that you get is from the plant matter.

We don't use anything with plant matter. We use a quarter gram for gummy. So it's because people are putting like actual marijuana in it? And that's the weed taste you're getting? Yeah, like when somebody makes butter, they put, like, actual, like, they ground the bud in the butter, and they cook it up, and then they, like, a sieve out all the, all the plant matter. We don't do that. We eliminate all that. We make a hash oil, and we put it into whatever the recipe calls for, whatever it may be glycerine or oil or coconut oil.

Peanut oil, like, whatever we decide we're going to use for that recipe. It's like those little sour gummies. I used to love them, the little chewy ones. It's like that, except you get fucked up. Yeah, yeah, we put a lot of medicine in the virus. We like it to be the strength for us. And you guys are professional. See, I don't, that's what some people understand.

Sometimes I go to a weed store. In the old days, I go to Hollywood, and a girl smiles at me. Like, there was one store that had a black girl from Yonkers that was fucking banging. And every time I'd go in there, her eyes would be beat red. So I'd ask her what she'd smoke, and she'd tell me, and I'd take it home, and I'd smoke, and nothing would happen. I'd smoke the whole fucking eight for $70. Nothing would fucking happen.

And I'm like, oh, she's a fucking amateur. You know, and it's not her fault. What I consider a bomb, and would somebody else consider a bomb just two different fucking thing? People come up and you and go, Doug, I smoke this, don't drive. You get those people? Man, be careful on the way home. And you smoke the whole thing.

And you smoke the whole thing. And what the fuck is wrong with that moron? The fuck is wrong with that fucking weakling. And then you meet some motherfuckers that smoke shit with you. And they're like, you know. And there's some people who are hobbyists There's some people who smoke it for a social. You smoke it. If there was nobody on this

planet, you'd smoke weed and be happy as fucking. You'd have to smoke being by yourself. Think about it. You were all along this world and you had weed and a certain like chicken cutlets with cranberry sauce and cream and cream corn and some salt and pepper, maybe some mashed potatoes. How happy would you be?

I could. As long as I got Rifa, there's a person in my head. There's a fucking party in my fucking head. There's a party in my head when I don't have Rifa. Can you imagine what and we were to slow it down. So it's like, when I wake up in the one, I say people yelling and screaming and shit. Get up, cock-sucker.

It's like a Marine boot camp. It's like, go, go, go. There's a fire and shit. And then once I hit this motherfucker, like by 645, it's okay. The Marines are just marching. They got their guns out. But they're just walking around.

Like, it's cool. The lights came out in the clothes. Yeah, it's all right. Can someone please animate that? That's a start. Like your head fells up with smoke and all of a sudden They're just like chilling That's what's in my heart

They're playing the trumpet or whatever Just you calm down Oh my God You think like I'm here to fuck around what you're being I mean this is what I go on my And I knew early on Like you know early on

Like I did cocaine at first And it was okay But I knew this was you couldn't do this in the daytime You can't do the daytime You know and acid's fun But you can't do that in the fucking daytime You know You're talking to somebody their face

is melting. That's not going to fucking work in the real world. You know, and in those pills, I used to eat Valiums. When I first got to Comic 91, oh my God, I had this college girlfriend. We'd hook up like about 1130. I used to do it was sell neon. So I'm going and just put a flyer out, Cuban kid. So I put a flyer out and either they call the shop. Then he called me and go, though, you got six calls. You got sales calls tomorrow. That neighborhood. But I'd go home, eat a Valium with this girl, take a nap, eat her ass. I love all that afternoon, delight, wake up, eat like a frozen piece of chicken or something. Eat her ass. Ass again, Lee, that's a fucking party, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah. In the afternoon, you got like a pubic hair stuck in your tooth, you know what I'm saying? Like, fuck it. This is the real deal here. Lee, tell them, tell him this motherfucker, I don't know. These guys don't need that. But I love it. But there's nothing like...

I don't know about that. I don't even know when the first time I started smoking. It was in high school when I started smoking the daytime. I just liked how I felt, how made my eyes feel. I knew by looking at people's eyes that there were more common. I knew how these people would act without the weed. And I'd see them on alcohol and they'd be complete morons. But on weed, they'd be chill.

And I said, fuck it, that's what I need to make the voices go away. And I would hit that fucking pipe in the morning. I'm going to walk up to high school. And then you walk into the school and it's warm. Where we're from, it's cold six months out of the fucking year. So you've got to smoke outside. It's Wendy. The wind's coming off to Hudson.

Once you walk into high school, it's chill. That's when the weed really hits you. But bam. Then back there trying to talk about fucking history. You're sitting back there thinking about fucking, you know, Death Leopard, live. I got to fight with the windshield. Yeah, you got to fight with a, oh my God.

It's a fucking, you know what, man? There's not a day that doesn't pass that I don't think about growing up in Jersey. Like, I'm proud to grow up from fucking Jersey. Like, I swear to God, I loved everything about it. I loved everything about the area where I grew up. The thing I hated the most, let me tell you what I hate the most about the area

where I grew up and would ruin me for life. Till this day, it spoiled me was the accessibility. That always ruined me. me for life because I always thought every place was going to be like that. I was a very lucky person growing up. It's very nice to live in New York City and it's a very prestigious thing, but I had it one better. I had New York City, all the opposite New York City and I lived in North Bergen, New Jersey, which gave me access to Bergen Line and Boulevard East and it gave me access to Fairview, to Rudy's to get Kalamand and gave me access to Fort Lee. You know,

I would go to Fort Lee Diner and get bagels right there by George Washington Bridge. You drive by and the red light would be going off. And you make it right and you're in the city. I had access to either to come out of New York City at the 178th Street right there in the mouth of Harlem or I could come out on 40 seconds street in three fucking minutes. Let's face it. When I was a kid, I could woo you sea corkers at 10th to 8

and be in New York City at 5 after 8. What? At Madison Square. What? What? What? With a bag of fucking weed walking down. I still remember walking with a ghetto blast. Go see ACDC and all that stupidity.

So I have no regrets to grow up. up there was I'm jealous and you you grew up in Western York your view tell them what your view was oh there's a skyline talking to my first joint was right on the New York skyline right there like a block from my house literally and you guys had all those pools to sneak into the galaxy oh yeah I'm gonna work there not the guys I went I was size we just sneaking Versailles I got I got a scar under my arm from one of those pools it wasn't the the galaxy is the one lower so it had to be on the 68th Street So it's about 50.

There's a bunch of buildings that look the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Down there. The fucking galaxy was a badass place. I used to sneak with a girl in there that she had broken up with this guy that was a killer. So the only way I could fuck it was if I hid, so I would take it to the bar under the Galaxy

that made it look like Bahama Mamas and shit. I'd sneak around there and have a little breakfast place. I seen Ken Griffey Sr. in there one time because he used to live. Ricky Henderson lived there too. Ricky Henderson. A bunch of people. Dave Winfield lived in that motherfucker too.

Didi Chakong lived in that motherfucker too at the Galaxy. I was a stock clerk at the Galaxy, though, and I was all fucked up. I was all coped up. And every day I go in at 7.30, I had to work for a half hour. And people would just bring me work orders and say, we'd treat you two pieces of wood, we need a window. And that was my thing.

I ordered it, please, make sure it got in, stock it. That was my job. One of the guys there, I still remember his face, had a horrible drug problem. Like, I didn't know it then, because I was in it, but thinking back sometimes, the guy never slept. He had the black things under his arms.

He didn't have a wife. He had no kids, so he just went home and kept snorting. He would come in those days with the bottom of the grinder, and it would be filled to the brim, bro. And he would come up to the window, get an order, and then go, you open up the door, and I'd open up the door, let him in, and he'd give me a bunch of fucking blast,

and then I'd give him $20, and he'd fill it up with fucking more coke, and he'd leave. Then he'd come back, like, for 10 o'clock, coffee break and we'd go in the hallway and we'd smoke and we'd do like 20 more fucking blast and I would be by 12 o'clock my head would be fucking spinning there and I remember sleeping I would sleep it off till like four and then I had to go into the city and bartend from five to one and I had the package he sold me for 20 and oh my god I'd see him the next day and he'd still be fucking that dude never sleep bro I ended up front of an eight ball and I never saw him

again how many of your friendships ended like that what's that I ended up ended up front in the neighborhood. You know, and you guys know we're from in that area in that world. In that world, listen, with weed, it's something different. Because with weed, it's like this, people will give you 10 pounds of weed. You're like, fuck here, the weed's good. Why will I not? But in those days, the blow was, it was moving fast.

How many times did you, how many times did you mean to give somebody money? I don't think there was one time a guy gave me like an ounce of Coke or something. And I kept calling him. The Coke was tremendous. I kept calling, calm, call him, call him. And a week later, his wife called me. She's like, no, he went to jail. You know, you got the guy's money,

and you spent it in a month later, he comes up, where's my money? He goes a month ago, bitch. You got to catch me in a month now. Or you got to give me another ounce of Coke to get me back. You know, that's that, that world. Somebody's not going to come up to you from 1987

and go, hey, bro, you owe me for an eight boy, you fronted. They know, in their mind that you were in that game. Yeah, of course. Oh, I know now. I'm just saying it's funny. You won that dirty game. It was, you know, cocaine was a dirty.

I remember still, like you guys are young, I still remember that, what was this 1980? Manilitos? Yeah. When they took over. That heightened. Like, that was just,

that area went from fucking a decent place to live to a battle zone. It was a battle zone for two or three years. It was a fucking battle zone from 80 to fucking 83 or something. Then they started cleaning it up

a little bit in 83 and 84 and they put the pieces back, and they all decided who the Coke belonged to, and that was it. But when those mileitos first came over, they invaded everywhere they went to. They left bodies. They didn't leave trash or fucking droppings. They left bodies.

That's all those fucking droppings. That was all that spillover from Miami. Yeah, all the ones in the guys that had already killed in Miami and they were on the lookout. They had cousins in West New York. You know, like I said, yesterday I went to lunch at Rudy Sarzo, who was on the podcast, Cuban kid from Miami. It came over way before the revolution.

but after the revolution they had to move different Cubans they moved into West New York like I was saying Rudy Sazzo went to a Rudy Sazzo graduated from Memorial High School in West Nia. The fucking guy played on over 200 albums of famous metalheads and nobody has ever mentioned them graduating from Memorial. Nobody even knew

until he sat on the fucking podcast I had never even known or guessed it so you never know who the fuck is from Memorial motherfucking high school. What up Lee? Tell me something. You have no idea. How can they find these Gumi's? Okay, so if you like Strong Edibles and you're in the Bay Area

And you want to fucking see the devil No misunderstand That goes what I was saying The devil ain't sending no messages Look us up on Facebook Los Gommies Hermannos L-O-S G-U-M-M-I-E-S A-T-R-M-O-S

E-N-O-S M-A-N-O-S That's what it'll do to you You can't spell your own company's name When you're on the Gummies And these dabs aren't hurting Who's up for another dab? I'm ready

You know, and Lee's got to do two more. Fuck. Because I got to catch up to Lee. They got it wrapped up like a... You got to see this fucking thing, people. We're here with professionals. It's all over. There's no amateurs allowed here.

There ain't nobody doing documentaries about... These are fucking savages here. Lee! I can't do it. Lee, you have to do one more. It's a small piece. Yeah, there's a small piece. This is three.

You go. No, one more for Lee. Then I'll go. Let's go. Let's end the show. One more for Lee. Let's do. Then we'll play some fucking music in ACDC. It's been a great week, people.

I love you, motherfuckers. Remember what Lee told you. Go to Huluplus.com. Go to Dollar Shave Club. Dollar Shave Club is church or Joey? Church. And Hulu Plus is Joey. Correct.

And on it is... Church. All right, people. You know we're here taking care of your motherfuckers. Don't be mad at us because we're trying to put the fucking pieces together. It's a Wednesday. You're going to listen to this.

You're going to have a great. Look at Lee. His fucking heads turn and red like a motherfucker and shit over there. but I'm happy you people tuned in today and I love you, motherfuckers. I got no shout-outs today. I'll tell you what I do have. August 14th, we're at the Ice House. At 830 for a live podcast.

August 28th, we're at the Ice House for a live podcast. Another Wednesday, what are they? 10 bucks or something? What are you going to do? Stay home and fucking whack-law? What are you going to do? Come on down, have a good time. August 22nd to the 24th.

I'm at the D.C. motherfuckerin improv. Doing it. Getting my paperwork back and all. You got to fill one for your uncle, Joey. I got you. Fuck it. That's how we do it here. Lee, how do you feel?

Nah, good. He needs one more. No, fuck you. Look at you. Look at me. You get me, so, see, I de Magu. What did you think of these things, Lee? Tremendous.

I love the gummy beers. The fucking... The pottalizo. The pottaloo. The pottaloo. I'm going to have another one before I leave. Fucking. They're like connicious, essentially,

for all the Jews out there. That's what the Bay Area lacks. It's good Cuban food. Connishas. Yeah, yeah. Some of them are meat, some of them potato. But yeah. Yeah, I had the potato.

Fuck, it's good. Fucking canich is delicious. listen. Oh yeah. So, are we done? Anything else, Joey? Anything you want to say? Are we done?

No, we're going to smoke some more. Want to smoke some more? Yeah, who gives a fuck? So we're going to go out, but now that the show is over, don't forget to sign up for your free trial of Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus lets you binge on thousands of hit shows anytime, anywhere on your TV, PC, smartphone, or tablet.

Support this podcast and get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus when you go to Huluplus.com slash Joey or go to JoeyD.S. dot net and click on the Hulu Plus banner. and also don't forget to sign up for our new friends at dollar shaveclub.com you'll get high quality razors sent to your door every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail. We love these guys and you will too. Go to dollar shaveclub.com forward slash church or go to the joey dyes.net and click on the dollar shave club banner.

What's the story? Get it together dog. All right. Hold on, I didn't do the fucking baboots here. Let's do this shit. Here's how we're in there. What are he called again? And what's the flavor of the week? Stop with the music, cock sucker. Start it from the jump. Hold on. Let's hit this thing. This is some Tahoe OG sap. And how much T.HC is in this motherfucker?

I don't know. I haven't gotten this tested, but it's pretty high. You get fucking whacked. Me and Lee, we're going to do two more. Fuck you. Let's take pictures of Lee. I'm kicking you out of my house. No more Cuban's a lot of my house. You guys are cool.

I want to see his eyeball blow out of his fucking the left side. Just we have an iPad. So he takes the eye to the... to fart to the face and the one I patch I love it. Let's do you shit. You understand me? I ain't buckling around no more.

Oh. I love you, cock suck and stay black. Thank you for listening to the church for loving us and supporting us. You know we love you. Support those Gumi's, Irmanos. Support my man the flying Jew. As always, Hulu.

Dollar Shave Club. We love you, motherfuckers. Support them. I don't even deal with us. See you next week. See you Wednesday at the Ice House. I love you guys. Stay black.

Well, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Oh shit. It's like that motherfucker's bitch's pussy here on fire. And lick your fucking muffler. It's Wednesday. It's Thursday morning, this time. You won't tell you a story. That's going to tell you a story.

That woman not new. When it comes to love it. Who's a show? She's exactly pretty. She's exactly small. You can say shit yonderance