The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #082 | FELIPE ESPARZA | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: July 21, 2021

Welcome to The JOINT..... It's Wednesday, July 21st..... This episode is called "I Miss L.A." and we talked with the Great, FELIPE ESPARZA! https://www.felipesworld.com https://www.Instagram.com/felipeesparzacomedian https://www.Twitter.com/funnyfelipe This episode is brought to you by The Freeze Pipe & Upstart..... Go to https://www.TheFreezePipe.com Enter Code: JOEY Go to https://www.Upstart.com/JOEY Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #FelipeEsparza The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....  

What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? It's Wednesday, July the 21st. The joint is brought to you, and I want to welcome to the podcast. Freeze Pipe. Listen, remember for years I've been telling you motherfuckers that when I lived in Colorado, I used to wake up in the morning a scoop fucking snow and put it in my bong, and it was tremendous. And then in L.A. we were putting ice cubes on our fucking bongs.

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So do me a favor. Go to upstart.com slash Joey. Let's get this fucking motherfucker started on a beautiful Wednesday morning. It's not beautiful. It's kind of raining out. There you go. What's happening, you bad motherfuckers?

It's Wednesday the 21st. of fucking July. It's been a beautiful day so far. I had to give some fucking blood this morning. You know how that goes. Fucking, no drama. I got to be honest with you guys, no fucking drama at all. There was no fainting.

I didn't even feel the needle. I always laugh because, thank God my wife goes. Thank God my fucking wife goes. I'm sitting there. The lady was from another country. Who knows what country she was from. She was very sweet. And I told her when I go in,

she goes, you're going to sit down? I go, sitting in that little fucking communist chair you know they have those little chairs like that you put you it's looks like a school kid chair you know give it a fucking arm i i'm not fucking sitting on there you know because i'll fucking pass out she goes really i go yeah so i tell everybody that right off the bat i go use a kid needle now i'm fine i got my earphones on i'm listening to fucking death leper high and dry i'm in fucking heaven i'm thinking about in 1982 and getting my dick sucked.

And, you know, you're trying to think about great thoughts, you know. And I give her the arm. And all of a sudden, I can't hear her. You know, she's talking to me, but I can't really fucking hear her. And I don't give a fuck. And all of a sudden, I feel my wife closing my hand. But before she closes it, she makes like a noise. And next thing you know, she puts a bunch of tissues in my hand

and a bunch of tissues in this hand because I was sweating fucking profusely. In fact, I had my hand on my chest. and when I took it off, there was an imprint of my fucking hand from how much I was fucking sweating. So I love all that shit. I didn't even feel the needle going. I could lie to you and tell you, I didn't feel it. All of a sudden, I just felt they put in my arm back, and I'm like, ooh, thank God I'm gone. I was pissed because I didn't drink enough water because they usually make you piss in the cup.

I get flashbacks to the halfway house. You know, I got to go in there and hide. I'm like, what am I hiding from? Nobody's watching me. So I fucking, you know, they didn't ask me to fucking, uh, pee in a cup, which is good because I didn't have enough fucking fluid in me. You got to go to those blood tests with nothing in your stomach, and I take it. It's a nightmare not to wake up and eat.

It's a fucking nightmare for a guy like me. And to put a needle in your arm with nothing in your stomach, it even makes it worse. But I fucking make it through. I don't know how to fuck I do it. So thank God that's over. I'm actually feeling a lot fucking better, you know, than what I was. So that's fucking great. I took a tremendous shit this morning,

and it wasn't like a little... I've been taking these little submarine shits for the last three weeks. I'm like, that's not my asshole. That's somebody else's asshole. I don't take these little... They look like yodels. You ever seen a yodel?

Like the little chocolate things? Not this morning, Jack. Everything came out. You know what I'm saying? My stomach was giving me a hard time for a few days. I slowed up on the nicotine gum. I started drinking a little kale pectate.

And boom! I'm shitting like a fucking animal again. You understand me? You understand me? Put them out in the fucking thing. fucking stall. But I'm a little pissed off because I found out the other day. They're not going to be making Oreos

in New Jersey no more. They're going to fucking outsource Oreos from Mexico. What the fuck is going on? Is Biden fucking up this much that even they took Oreos from fucking the United States and they're going to make them in Mexico now? I mean, I got nothing against the Mexicans. I love the fucking

Mexicans. But this is bullshit. Oreo is an American fucking tradition. How the fuck are you going to outsource Oreos to Mexicans. This is not good, guys. This is what I'm talking about. This is what I'm fucking talking about. Listen, I don't get pissed about fucking children at the border. I don't know. But taking Oreos from the fucking country, Jesus Christ, how un-American is that? First, it was Chevrolet, then it was this. Now it's fucking Oreos? Those Oreos are going to be fucking

cocaineed out, too. Those Narcos are going to trick us and shit. They're going to sprinkle coke in them. They're going to have a different flavor to them. I'm not happy about this shit. I'm not happy about Oreos being made out of Mexico. Right away, you people going, you're fucking racist. I'm not fucking I love fucking Mexican people. As a matter of fact, the podcast I'm doing today is I miss L.A.

I do miss L.A. I miss different things about L.A. When I did the podcast with Lee a couple weeks ago, we talked about the hellish side of L.A. And I didn't exaggerate, you know, but there was some good in L.A., and I forgot to mention that, you know. I miss a lot of people

And it's not the people that you think I miss You know, you people think I miss like the stars I don't miss those motherfuckers at all I miss the little guys I miss Eric Rocha, my fucking gay buddy I haven't made friends with a gay guy here I don't hear no more fucking in the ass stories I had a fucking guy with a hemorrhoid stories

I don't hear none of that shit no more My life is boring now I need another gay guy in my life You know what I'm saying? He's raping guys He's fucking making them meet hot dogs To prep him to suck dick You know, I loved all those stories.

It's fucking tremendous. Eric Rocha, I miss him. It was Lee's birthday yesterday. I missed that little motherfucker, you know. I miss Steve Simone. I miss Eric Rocha, who's having surgery today. Wednesday to 21st, my heart goes out to him. Please stop by Eric Roach's page and give him some love.

I mean, he's one of my best fucking buddies of all time. I miss a lot of guys, Rodrigo. But the guy I'm going to have on the guy I'm going to have on the guy. the podcast today is a special fucking cat. We've been friends since I met him when they sent me to L.A. to do the Trihastro Latino laugh festival. Him and Marilyn Martinez were my first buddies in fucking L.A. And he was always great to me.

From day one, he would yell out from the back of the room, what jokes for me to say. He wanted to hear the dirtiest fucking jokes. He took me to all the Mexican rooms in South L.A. He introduced me to all the Mexicans as his brother. I mean, you know, when I cracked the Oreo cookie, it was just a fucking joke, you know. No, it's not. I'm pissed off that Mexico's got it, but let's not even fucking discuss that right now.

I'm not pissed at Mexico. They're just trying to make a decent buck, you know. He introduced me to all the Mexican fucking dudes. He showed me all the great taco places where, you know, me and this cat must have done. fucking a thousand shows together. Like that's, you know, he had a room on Tuesdays and Thursdays, on Tuesdays and Wednesdays that they gave me an open invite to. Like it was guaranteed $40 and a burrito.

$40 and a burrito back then meant more to me than anything in the world. You ask any artist when he's fucking starving. What would he rather have? Cash or quick meal and a fucking taco to go or something? and they'll tell you the food I mean the experiences I had with this guy were tremendous if I look at my 30 years of comedy

he was in those 15 of those fucking years you know the guys that were the best to me I think in comedy were Mexicans I had Jimmy Abada in Denver that guy got me started that guy got me on the HBO tour that guy fucking

gave me two gigs a week he fucking paid my rent Jimmy Abeda I will forever be grateful to him. But Felipe Espars was my fucking original OG. I mean, I had him and George Perez and Rudy Moreno and Gilbert Escobel. You know, Gilbert used to book The Laugh Factories on Monday night, Latino night. And even though the owner of Laugh Factory was like, you're not ever performing in here today anymore when I first got there.

He wasn't out there on Monday nights at the Laugh Factory. so Gilbert would put me up on the sweetest fucking spot. Half the movies I got and half the TV shows I got were from the fucking laugh factory, Latino nights on Monday night. And it would be me, Pablo, Felipe, Willy Barsena, Edwin San Juan, the lineups, Jeff Garcia, George Perez, the lineups were fucking deadly Latino night on Laugh Factory. But even when I did my document. If you look at the documentary, it's executive produced by this guy you're about to see today.

He's one of my tightest friends in comedy. I miss him with all my heart, and I'm happy. He came on the joint. We talked. It's a very, if you're looking for fucking huge laughs, you're not going to get him. It's more of a heart-to-heart. Two guys just bullshit, and it's the first time I saw him in 11 months, and it's a fucking pleasure, man. Because I do miss him.

You know, I talk a lot of shit. but I miss a lot of my old school friends from L.A. Yeah, I miss Rogan. I miss Red Band. I spoke to them this weekend. You know, Hari was down in Austin, so they called me. Cater's down there this week,

so Red Band will call me again. Red Band went to my favorite restaurant in Austin and took a picture and fucking called me that night. And he goes, it's not what it used to be because of COVID. They don't have the same seafood. They have a limited fucking menu. He went to Papadoes across in the double tree in Austin.

That was my fucking spot for years. So I'm still talking to my tight buds. But this one today was extra special. We even that night, after we finished the podcast, he called me back that night. And we chit-chated for another fucking 45 minutes, just about life and whatnot. I'm talking about Felipe, motherfucker, and espaza.

He came to my wedding. I didn't go to his because I had a gig in Chicago. You know, he executive produced my special. When he won last comic standing, he called me first from the stage, and he goes, nobody fucking knows, dog. But you and I did so many shows together, I got to tell you, I won last comic standing. And I remember pulling over. I was on Melrose and, like, Fairfax.

And I remember pulling over and actually, like, being so fucking happy for Felipe to win last comic standing. He was part of the crew, you know, he would hang with me, Ralphie. We used to do acting classes on Tuesday Our own acting classes I mean you know Hard work is hard work guys And this guy I give him all the respect in the world Enjoy Felipe Aspars

Motherfuckers I'll see you back in I don't know 30 minutes What up fool What's up fool? How are you my little brother of love Chillin man What's up fool?

I can't call it Just checking in with you I got my Lakers shirt on out of respect for Los Angeles. You know how we do a player. You know me. How you been? I've been great, man.

How you been? Good. Trying to put the pieces together, missing you, you know, thinking about you every time I see Narcos. Yeah, man.

I see the Sinaloa and motherfuckers. I go, that's my boy, Felipe. Straight out of Sinaloa and shit. You've been down there lately? No, I haven't been down there, man. But I, I met one of the actors.

from Narcos at a movie premiere. For some movie I'm in. You know the cop that's playing one of the federal cops that's actually a good cop, and he's there when they're interrogating the guy who killed Camarena. I kind of remember. And the doctor has been tortured.

He's telling a Mexican cop. He goes, you think these cops care about you guys? After this is done? I'm going after. to your families. That was fucking crazy. I met him. Yeah.

That's a crazy ass fucking show. I love I love the first two seasons. I love Cali, but fucking Mexico was straight up gangster. The whole fucking Diego Luna. Yeah, man. I just

fucking love. He's a great actor. I just watched the scene and he has to meet Pablo when Pablo kidnaps him and shit and he tells him to Hippaponymous don't like Mexicans and all that shit. It's fucking, it's like De Niro and Pacino sitting down in heat. That's two fucking strong actors.

What else has been happening in your life? Not much, man, going back on tour. I have a new tour coming up. It's unmasked tour. I'm going in a lot of cities, man, starting next week. You're a bad motherfucker. Let me ask you something. You were the first person to do a Spanish special.

Correct. English and English. Someotaneously on Netflix. First. You were the first one because I read something last year and I know you were pissed off. Somebody said this was the first Spanish

fucking Netflix special. You're like, fuck that. It was Felipe, Jack. Don't fucking forget it. And I know you've been acting. Yes, it was me, man. And hopefully there'll be more so we could do a Mexican-American

comedy tour in a Latin country. that would fucking work in South America and all those places it would work it's amazing yes I would like to go somewhere on tour

where I don't have to do a whole hour you know I'd like to just do my little 25 minutes and get the hell out of there maybe I could go on tour in Spanish with Tom Suguro or as who's

Trejo and hook up with Carlos Bay Yarta in Mexico and make it get the party started you are there doing five minutes of hosting

and just go up and down Mexico. Just make sure you don't fucking get mugged. They're shaken down. You know, it was really interesting to me when I saw the Rolling Stones documentary, O'A, O'Leo, O'Le. Have you ever seen it? I haven't seen it. They did all the South America. South America and Mexico are big markets for rock and roll, punk rock, heavy metal, and comedy. Yeah, if I had my fucking passport, I'd go to South America. drop some knowledge on those Venezuelans and shit.

Man, you want to go to a badass punk rock concert? You go to Chile, man. Chile has the biggest punk rock convention in the whole white world, man. Like, all the bands that you grew up with that you might think, oh, man, I wish I'd go see them. Like, they're playing in Peru, man. Like, the remones are huge over there, man. Huge.

It's funny because when I watch that documentary, I think it's Chile, where the stones are fucking huge. Like they have stones, clubs, you know, it was just amazing. So I always thought about you when you did that tour to maybe do fucking South America,

Colombia, Venezuela, Costa Rica, the whole fucking thing. That's just an option. Some people go to Australia, you know, you could go to fucking South America. I love to go to Australia, man. I've been dying to go to Auckland, New Zealand, man. I heard it's nice, doesn't it? That's where I want to go over there, man.

I want to get treated. I want to get treated by the Maris, bro. The other Mexicans, bro, in Europe. That's fucking nuts. The Maris are badass, bro. Like, New Zealand natives. A lot of those guys who are great actors, they go to America and play Mexican parts.

Like, have you seen that movie? movie with Denzel Washington? Which one? When he goes, you got your shit push, man. When he's, when, uh, training day. Okay. Training day. When he's in, when that other actor, um, Ethan Hawk, he's, he's about to get killed

by the Mexican gangsters. The main one, the main leader of the, of the Cholos, he's not even a Mexican. He's right. I know you're talking about. I know you're talking about. He plays a lot of space. He even played Pablo Escobar and Blow. And Blow, a badass movie.

Yeah, yeah, he played Pablo Escobar and fucking Blow. How does it feel acting? I know you're digging it. You've been doing a lot of fucking shows and movies and whatnot. What's going on with you? I'm in a movie right now with Omar Chaparro. He's a real big Mexican actor from Mexico. And he's a comedian actor over there.

with millions of fans and he did a movie in English called Seventh and Union. It's like a rocky story but with a Mexican in it. He's got a day laborer in the morning and he plays, he fights. He fights in bars at night.

Like cleanies would bro in every which way but loose. Like Charles Bronson in hot times. Yes. So he's fighting, man. And I mean like his best friend at work. So every time he's at work, I'm in the scene. I'm in a lot of scenes, man. Like, when the movie was shown at the Chinese theater, when it started,

I was very surprised to see when all the credit started. Then at the end, it said, and Felipe Sparza. You dig that, huh? Do you remember we used to do mock acting classes behind my building? Yes, man. It was me, you, Cisco, Rodrigo, and Rick Ramos. How fucking crazy is that? we used to do.

We would get high and then Cisco would get mad because his son was there. Nobody told you to bring him, Cossucker. That's right. Cisco would bring his fucking son there. That's right. And then we're all, I remember we're all doing the scene of, which is the real

hard, you'll give us the hardest scenes to do, bro, for young actors. Like, the scene you gave us was the one where where, with Bronx It was, it was, fuck, can I remember? It was, the movie was

Al Pacino, the Geister, he saw. Carlito's Way. And, what's the name? Johnny Depp, he's a cop. Wow. I thought I gave you Carlito's way.

They're part of the Bonano family. Oh, Donnie Brasco. Donny Brasco, yes. Donny Brasco, okay. The scene where Al Pacino's son, his son Odin again That's right

And you were playing Al Pacino And we were playing Johnny Depp And we'll take alternating turns And you were trying to get us To take an emotion That his son is Odean For the third time already Not the first time

First time he was sad But this is the third time He's still fucking sad You were telling us But he's angry too You were trying to that emotion, but we were fucking high, man. We used to get high on Tuesdays because the guy at that fucking weed store on Tuesday

would make the edibles fresh. He was a chef. Yeah, man. And he would make chocolate and he would hook us up, just give us stuff. And I still remember the day we had to carry Rodrigo into the car. His legs were fucking, his legs were dragging like Quentin Tarantino when they walked them out of El Compadre that night. They, two Mexicans walked out Quentin Tarantino.

and his legs were fucking dragging on the floor and they basically just put him in his car and closed the fucking door. I don't know what happened to Quentin after that. Maybe he ended up at Harvey Weinstein's house. Who the fuck knows? He was on Rogan last week talking a bunch of fucking nonsense.

Fuck him. I can't stand Quentin Tarantina. I really can't. I hate his fucking movies. Make him Bruce Lee look bad? I'm trying to make Bruce Lee look bad. I fucking hate his movies. His movies are always like

there's a guy like Wink. wink it's just Hollywoody and shit if you're gonna fucking tell me that that Tarantino dude didn't know about Harvey Weinstein and what he was doing you're fucking full of shit

they all fucking knew so I don't even I've never even watched that fucking movie about Hollywood I never watched the Django and Chained I didn't I stopped watching his shit 15 fucking years ago he got on my last nerve

so people were all impressed because he was on Rogan last week fucking telling lies fuck him he could suck David Chase's fucking dick with David Chase forgot quitting Tarantino don't know kill Bill he stole that from fucking uh what's the other guy that came after

Bruce Lee that was a savage Sonny Cheba Sonny Cheba Nobody remembers Sunny fucking Cheba movies and shit He had that one movie that was wild Like fucking badass bro he would like die hard before die hard fuck yeah Sonny Cheba put out what like four or five movies,

but there was one of them that was just fucking ultra-violent. I got to look it up. I used to do the martial arts movie segment for National Lampoon years ago. So I had to look all those fucking movies up to Shiro Me Funni and fucking Sonny Chiba. And that's where he got killed Bill from.

He stole fucking all the bits from those guys. He even put Sonny Sheba in his movie as a sword maker, right? He was a sword maker in that movie. That's right. That's right. Yeah, but Sonny Sheba first, when Quince of Turingtono first introduced him, like we didn't already know, was in that movie True Romance, a movie that he wrote but didn't direct. It was directed by that bad motherfucker, bro.

What's his name, man? Their brother, one of them died. Ridley Scott. Okay, so true romance is a Quentin Tarantino written movie? Yes, but that one I like. That's a good fucking movie. He directed it, but he cut up all of, um, Christian Churntino's lines.

So the movie was full of, um, full of Quarantino lines. Like, remember that scene where, um, when, um, Christian Slater walks in to, to grab his Rosanna Arquez suitcase, because, uh, what's his name is there?

Gary Oman is there playing like a, like a black guy that was to be right. A wigger. Yeah. And he goes in there, man. He goes, How come you don't sit down? I don't sit down because I already seen this movie.

It's a Mac with Pam Greer and Richard Pryor. You know, I already saw this movie. But the original line was, I don't want to watch this movie because it's Pam Greer and Richard Pryor. And he gets into a long, unuseful dialogue about cinematography. The cinematography was this. And that movie was shot with this type of lights.

You know, all that bullshit lines that Kevin Smith like to do also like in clerks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nonsense. They love to talk. They love talking. He likes to give you a movie history. I don't need a movie history. Give me good dialogue.

Fuck movie history. I don't want to know where the movie was made or the movie is being made. Just give me the fucking movie, man. Who's going to shoot who? I don't know what to know that. When the movie was made, there was good lighting. The sound man was an Oscar winning sound man. Fuck all that.

Get to the dialogue, eh? This is your, make my day, motherfucker clean eastwood style. Yeah, and the least is the better. The least you say is the fucking better. I hate fucking, I got offered this mob movie that it would have taken me two years

to learn my lines. It would have taken me two fucking years. The guy hit me up and he's like, he hit me up in July. It's going, it's going. Then he hit me up December 8th. He's like, this is the week. I need you in New York.

I go, for fucking scale New York December 8th in the winter a movie with Val Kilmer and that's it I'm not fucking wasting my time I'm never gonna learn this dialogue

I know what movie you're talking about you do I saw a trailer for that movie that movie has everybody Val Kilmer it has big pussy it has Michael that guy from Dougie Hauser

the little Italian guy it has everybody Oh, Benny, Benny. I just did a thing with him in New York. We played detectives. Yeah, I saw a movie. You said no to him. That movie has everybody in it, man. But I still don't know what it's about.

Yeah, it was, listen, when you send me a mob script and I see Gino, Tony, or the name Anthony, I turn it down. I turn it down just by reading the first five pages. Because if you're still making those type of movies that just not fucking. I'm going to go. The Sopranos covered everything. Me too, man. I don't turn down movies because I'll get offered too many,

but I kind of like, I have one eye. I'm listening with one eye already shut without even looking at it like this. Like, I know that I know that that's not going to work, you know, right now.

I know that that type of movie is not going to work right now when there's a page called Fool's Gone Wild and they created that page on themselves. And the other doing concerts with that type of comedy with millions

of followers and you're trying to come up me with this Latino movie with a message for everybody let me tell you man we're going to stop making Mexican American films or any Spanish film with a message at the end we don't want a message

when I watch Diethard there's no fucking message you know what the message was I should have bought more popcorn you know I mean all these movies I should have more fucking guns. Lettn-Nex? Go ahead.

I should have had more guns. That's what he should have had in fucking death. Yeah. We want a movie with Danny Trejo wearing a cave shooting people. That's it. I can't. Remember the movie we did

where the guy put a fake mustache on me? Oh my God. Could you shave? I shaved. I didn't know I had a fucking... I couldn't grow a mustache if you fucking paid me, okay? And he fucking, yeah,

he made me the sheriff with a fucking shitty mustache. That director, was the biggest waste of time, Felipe. That was like, that was definitely a fucking hand job. And money too. The money wasn't bad, right? No, he raised the money on stuff that we didn't need to like,

honestly, Joey, me, you, Nick Torto and two other people, that we had to hire a stunt coordinator to do the stuff that we were doing out there. No, it was a fucking nightmare. The only good thing about that movie was... our teaching of karate moves. Yes, that's right. That was terrible. Terrible.

I fucking hated all that shit. The only thing that came out of that movie was David ProVowal. We got him high. Oh, my God. Jackie Appreel. We fucking turned them on to edibles and shit. He came the next day.

Where do I get a marijuana card? I just talked to him about a year ago. I was like, thank God for turning me on to that shit. My life changed. That was funny because I'm the... The director made him a French guy in a movie when this guy's played Italians everywhere. And then he was a French guy.

How the fuck I'm going to do a French accent? Smoke some of this. That was the day that we got high all day because they couldn't find Paul Rodriguez. That's right. Paul was MIA and shit. They had to go to his house and jump the fence and get him and shit.

How's he doing? Is he better now? He's doing good, man. I haven't spoken to him, but we have the same agent, and I see that he's getting back on the road. Okay, yeah, because he was in the hospital for a while, wasn't he? Yeah, he was in the hospital. Something was wrong with him.

He drank bad water. It's funny, he was dehydrated, and he had just came from a rally where he was fighting for water, for the farmers. And he was dehydrated. Yes. Fucking tremendous. Instead of fighting for the fucking farmers, he should have drank a glass of wine, a water.

I opened up, I opened up for him. Him and I did a show. And, you know, when I started stand-up comedy, the Latino comedians that were headlining were only George Lopez and Carlo Mancia and Paul Rodriguez. And Paul Francisco. Everybody else was featuring and barely headlining, but those guys were headlining.

And I remember opening up for Paul Rodriguez and Reno, Calo, and he calls me up, Reno, like, Busting my balls. And he found out that I was arguing with somebody, I guess, somewhere else. Somebody told him, you know, a comedian tried to rat you out so you won't open up for somebody. Maybe he'll take me. You know, so he calls me up and he goes, what is this you complaining about your

hotel's too small? Your airplane seat was horrible. It was bad weather. And he goes, I wouldn't they complain about nothing. Man, what's wrong with your ass? And he goes, you start complaining once you see my room. and he hung up. I opened for him with Mark Babbitt.

Remember Mark Babbitt from the Houston? I remember the first time you met Mark Babbitt. I remember because I think you might have met Willie Barsena for the first time. And he kept talking about how you and Mark Babbitt hit it off right away. I like Mark Babbitt. Maybe too. Mark Babett. He was the first guy.

I ever sent a blank tape to, like he told me to send them a tape to open up for Bobby Slayton, and I kept telling him, I ain't sending you a tape. I kept sending them a roster from the comedy store. I go, why would I send you a tape?

I follow Paul Mooney every night. If you can't live with that, go fuck yourself. He's like, listen, I really want to book you, but I need a tape. So I sent him a blank tape, and he called me right away. He goes, your tape was tremendous.

You're working with Bobby Slayton. That was the first, I swear to God, I sent him a fucking blank tape. Until this day, he probably didn't watch it. Because you ever go to a manager's office to get paid? What do they got behind, though? A bunch of blank tapes with dust on them. They don't look at them.

I push a dust off. Dust on them. And then whatever year you're there, a lot of young comics that are probably famous now are they're collecting dust. Look at all the fucking people we watch blow up, Felipe. I watched you blow up. You know, I mean, we go back to 97.

at the fucking Brave Bull with Rudy and I watched you blow up I remember you still calling me from the set of last comic telling me I fucking did it you know I saw you fucking blow up put him to shame we want we saw Tiffany Haddish blow up

fucking Tiffany was nothing she was walking around the last factory going on the road with red band Tiffany was on my year bro Tiffany had watch top 40 here are the top 40 people that are now that we're on last

comic standee 2010 season 7 they made it mainly probably just top 20 but this was top 40 Chiffini Haddish was on my top 40

Cristella Alonso was my top 40 little rail bro little rail was top 40 oh that one writer from New York man he's very funny he writes for Amy Schumer he got into a little trouble

he's so funny man, he was top 40. Hell yeah, man. I gave him edibles in my fucking hotel room. Who were the finalist the year you made it? I would have never thought I made it, man. But who were the finalist that year that you beat out? Oh, top 10, top 10.

Five, the five. The top five was me, Tommy Johnigan, Mike Kaplan, Roy Woods Jr., and Mike DeStefano, rest and peace. Wow. Oh, Mikey Destifano. Bro, like De Stefano, like he was killing it on the tour, bro. Like, like, I'm glad he was third and not second place.

Because he was like getting standing ovations. He was strong, bro. And Tommy Johnigan couldn't follow him. So by the time, he would go out after Mike, Tommy will try to do like 18, 20 minutes just to get some heat going, you know? Because he would leave a lot of heat behind, bro. It was like following you, bro, when you're hot. You know, when you're hot, come on, bro. When you do a tie 20, nobody in the world can follow you.

That's crazy. You even told me, if you have a hot 15, hot 20, you're unstoppable, the rest of the 25 will come naturally. Oh, yeah, the first 18, I'll fucking knock it out of the park. I don't fuck around. Those comedy store sets, they make you fucking savage. So if you're going to give me 18 minutes, and you're going to fuck,

because I'm going to condense 40 into 18. I'm not going to shut the fuck up. I'm just going to keep coming at you until you can't take it no more. You know, that's why I hated, I hated headlining. Because you got to do 45 fucking long minutes. You got to space out your joke. So I would have to write like an hour 20 to really kill on a headlining set

because I want a machine gun on them to death. I want a machine gun on them, take a breather. step back, let him get some air, let him take a sip of the drink, and then go in there again, step back at the 32-minute mark, 33-minute mark, give him another breather, and then just bring it on fucking home, like Pete Rose in the All-Star game. When he locked that dude down, that's it. I just want to bring it the fuck home.

That's why I haven't been going on the road, because I don't have that type of material anymore. I got to start all over from fucking scratch. So I've just been taking my time, podcast, thing fucking around, spending time with my daughter. You know, it's nice. So it's fucking hot here. It's starting to get humid.

So I don't want to do comedy outside. I don't want to do dick. I know what you mean of. That's very important. So anybody listening here, who is the young comic and you're worrying about it. I should get an hour. No, bro.

Forget the hour. Go for the 120. Because everybody that has a tight 45, it's a type 45 when the crowd is hot. You know, when it's packed, that's a tight 45, perfect. But there's going to be times when the crowd, it ain't going to be hot. And you're going to go through that 45 minutes in 30. Or you're going to go through that one hour in 30 minutes.

I've been there, man. I've been there, too. Remember that one time you came back with that sad story? What happened? I tried to do your material. They didn't want it. I get on Freddy's, I get us on Willie Barsena. They say, fuck no.

I get him Freddy Soto. They said, fuck you and his dad. It's crazy when you're up there. Like, you know, what the thing was, like guys with me and you, and it pisses me off a lot because people don't get it. I hate when people go to me because I was one of those guys. And it was a big mistake I made. It's like, hey, man, I got 45.

Listen, there's a big difference between having 45 and there's a big difference between being a headliner. You know, like I took a year where every Thursday I would go to Irvine and watch the headline. I wouldn't say hello to him. I wouldn't even let him know I was there. And the best three headliners I saw that he had Irvine were Patrice O'Neill, Greg Gerardo, and Ralphie Mae. Ralphie Mae knew how to fucking headline. He was a headliner for a long time.

I remember the first time I started headlining. I wasn't a headline. I remember eating a bag of dicks, the Columbus Funny Bone. For like the first three weeks of that tour, I just ate a bag of dicks. And then you put it together. You learn how to headline.

You learn how to, you know, fucking be presentable. And then remember, a lot of guys don't like when they drop checks. I love when they drop checks. That's what my dick gets hard. Because I got to bring them out of the fucking abyss. Because they just looked at the tab and go,

$96 who drank the Long Island So there's always that little lull in the audience when they get their tabs There's a lot of comics That don't like the tabs Drop while they're on stage They want to...

They hate it They hate it I like it's not enough It's another challenge It's just another challenge And now You get to run them for fucking 10 minutes Like that's that break I like

That 34 minute mark When they dropped those checks Oh that's when I start sipping water without them seeing, I slip a fucking edible. That's the home stretch. That's the home stretch. Nobody knows. I got my little edible right there. I know I'll be high by the time I get to the hotel room

and I'll just pop it without them knowing it. Like, make them believe I'm drinking. A lot of times I just put it in the fucking water and drink the water. It just melts in the fucking water. And those last 12, 13 minutes, I want them to be fucking heat. Like I told these guys, I said, you know what? You want me on the road? I charge you $40 and I go out there and improvise And it's a 50-50 show

You know, you might leave happy Or you might leave depressed I'd rather go out when I got a fucking good hour Of what's going on with my life And that's what I'm doing now I'm trying to live my life So I come up with a new fucking hour So when the soprano movie comes out

At least I can travel New Jersey Pennsylvania, D.C., you know, around here I'm not getting on no fucking planes, Felipe, for a while. No. I'm worried about that point. I was on a plane last week, an American, and everything was going great. We were a flight from Atlanta to Philadelphia, and we stood in a termack for two hours and 45 minutes. It was getting hot.

And the captain kept coming up with excuses. You know how they come up with excuses? It goes, oh, we're checking in for the bad weather in Philadelphia, man. It's very foggy. then an hour later we're about to go in a runway and Southwest took our drive

our turn really Southwest cut you off on the runway How does fuck the Southwest cut off American? Southwest is a step above fucking grayout if Southwest tries to cut in front of him

I'm like get the fuck back the fucking Southwest little dog I flew a couple weeks ago I had to go to California I was so angry bro I had to go to California to close the weed deal. And let me tell you something.

I couldn't even find a direct flight back. Everything is connecting. They got to be bullshit in you because they're saying that there's a million travelers a day, but they don't have... Looker, you had to go all the way to Atlanta to get to Philly. Yeah.

So there was no direct flights to Philly or they were too expensive? No, none. None. None. So how to fuck a million people flying? You can't even get to it. Like, when I came back,

I tried JetBlue from. Burbank because they got a Burbank to fucking Kennedy, they shut that line down. There's no more Burbank to fucking Kennedy out of Burbank. So they were both, there was only two direct flights on JetBlue that day. Everything else was connecting. You got to go

to Boston, sit for two hours until your ass grows roots and your hemorrhoids fucking back up and then you got to, I'm not doing it. I don't want to lose my luggage. You know, if fucking there's no employees. Last time I flew somewhere,

When I came back on the way there, I got my luggage quick. But when I got to Newark, I waited a fucking hour for my luggage. So I'm done with that shit. I'll relax this summer, wait for it to get back to normal. People are throwing fits on airlines. They are, man. Every day there's an unruly guy that don't want to fucking put a mask on. You know, fuck that.

I'm not going to play karate chop on a fucking plane with nobody, you know. I know, man. We were traveling. Rachel Wilson, she was sitting next to this chubby man, you know, the real Midwestern man. And his mask kept, he was snoring. And his mask kept coming up when he was snoring. And his mask was full of, like, his saliva already.

It was just coming off and garlic. And Rachel Wilson was trying to move seeds. They told her no. No, they won't let you move. They won't let you do shit. So no. You know what, man, it's a little wild out there right now. So I'm pretty cool.

I'm worried about you guys going out, but you've been doing this for 30 fucking years. You're a savage, plus you're a tough guy. You'll smack somebody. You got a good crew with you. You got my man Rodrigo. You got Rizzo. You got Rachel.

You know, so. Rachel, Chuck Bartel. Now we have Gabby Lam. Lammy. Okay. We got Bush Escobar, too. How's Butch doing? He's good, man.

He's living in Berkeley. He's raising his son. you know, by himself, with his baby mama, they take turns, you know. It's tough. And I know you've got your daughter now and you got your grandchild living with you. So my heart goes out.

My daughter is going through chemo. So I take her son in the morning. I take him to school and I bring them back. It's like being a dad again. You enjoying it? Oh, I love it, man. My son is, well, my grandson is two. He doesn't know how to say grandpa.

He just yelled out, she shot. And you know, Joey, man, it's like, like, I took my kids to school, but I guess I was never around, you know, with their moms to hear stuff, like, about my son at school, you know, but, man, when you have a grandson or a two-year-old, my son is in Montessori school, right? Daycare from seven to six, but I pick him up at three. man, every day they tell you something bad that he did

like, you know, your son bit like five kids today or your son put somebody's hair. Finally, like a month later, the teacher came up to me really sad. I thought they were going to kick him. I thought they were going to kick him out of the school already because there we got like three warnings. He buys someone else.

This two-year-old is out of the school. So she tells me, a little girl bit his son. And I was like, oh, thank God. My son is getting better. They're biting him now. It's fucking crazy. And your little grandson lives with you?

Yeah, he lives with my daughter. They live like two blocks away. So they live close. But where right now we're going to tear down our garage and make them a little tiny home next door so they could come in and out of our house? Good for you. And I'm going to have to go pick them up, yeah.

You know, Philippine, was my thing too my daughter just turned eight we just moved back here she's discovering a whole different fucking world she's a different kid you know today she started camp she left here with a cowboy hat this morning i i didn't even know what the fuck to say she just gave me a kiss i told her what's up with the hat she goes it's cowboy day whatever you know what am i going to do and i want to watch her grow up i want to be here for a few years locally you know she uh sat me down like two years ago, not even, uh, right before the pandemic. She's like, I don't like when you leave, you know.

I left for like a Valentine's Day present. She's like, it would have been better if you would have gave it to me personally. So you know what, man? I've been doing this. I mean, Felipe, I met you in 97 and we were out seven nights a week, Felipe, last I fucking seven nights a week. We were out eight nights a week, you know. Monday, the laugh factory, Tuesday.

You and Willie had the room. Wednesday, Al-Coyote with the twins. You know, with the fucking, you'd always give me a burrito. That was my dinner. And Sunday potluck for the dress.

And, you know, I mean, we have been fucking fighting for our lives for years. How long have you been doing comedy in a total right now? Since 95. 27 years? I started four years before you. So when I met you,

you were in comedy, three years. That's what you're telling me when I met you in 97? Yeah, when I made you in 97, I had started, I had a, I really had a TV credit because Jeff Audès had Latino night, Latino Showtime, Laugh Festival with a bunch of comics. So I did that. But at 90, my son was born in 93, 4. And I had quit comedy. So yeah, like late 93, bro, like a lot of years.

27 years. But headlining. and making money and having fun. I've always had fun, though. But I'm actually taking a serious, 2010. Me too. Pretty like a headliner, 2013. Yeah, I think I started because 2009, I got married,

and I was like, you know what, I'm going to give comedy a break. Maybe I'll get a job selling cars. And then the podcast world started, and we started podcasting, and next thing, you know, you know, ticket. it's a selling, so we had to adjust to what was coming in. You know, I didn't think that I was ever going to go back on the road. And like, I talked to my agent yesterday.

We were like, we did a hell of a fucking run. You know, we got all the way to the fucking Chicago theater and sold out two shows. We sold out two shows in New York at the theater. So it was a great run. I'll tell you what, if it's up to me, I don't want to do theaters no more. I want to go back to the brick wall. You know, the theaters were a little too. rough for me.

I don't like taking that Saturday fucking plain. My back is killing me. I'm too fucking old. I like relaxing on Saturdays. So when I go back, I'm just going to go out Fridays and Saturdays. Four shows. Get me to fuck out of here. Abandon ship.

Or do Wednesday nights. Like, I'm thinking of doing a residency in Atlantic City or at the Count Basie theater. And it would just be like once a week or something. You know, I'll start doing guest sets like. in August maybe because I'm feeling better so I might as well fucking go for it and shit are you still on

Super Show whatever on NBC or they canceled that? They canceled Superstore after five seasons but I'm in the last season five episodes they gave me a lot of episodes bro and we'll see what happens after that but speaking of shows

you're right about theaters because I've been going to Portland to do the Revolution Hall you know but last year I went to Helium to do like three four shows for a hundred people during the pandemic. But I'm going back and I'm going to be there Thursday

through Sunday at Helium in like in November. So yeah, man, I would want to be in Portland more than one day, you know? Portland is fun. That's a great comedy club. I got to give you that. The lady who runs Helium Portland is fucking tremendous.

They got Tata Tots. They got a spicy ranch. I don't even like ranch fucking dressing. They got got a red, spicy ranch dressing that they put on the tater tots. Don't make your asshole fucking open up and down. It's fucking tremendous. You know what I'm saying?

So I like Portland, but there's a lot of shit going on in Portland. So you've got to be crazy. You got to be careful. You got to be careful because I think they're only doing like six o'clock shows. You got to be in by 10 o'clock or something like that. I was there.

I was there, bro, when they had when they had curfews. They had to stop studying alcohol at 9 p.m. And we were at 100 people per show. It was Edwin San Juan Rodrigo and I and Martin Rizzo. Bro, right outside the Helium Comedy Club, somebody crashed an SUV and broke in there and everybody ran off with bicycles. Every night, we were there.

There was a fire somewhere. So we didn't really go out, bro. We just stood in. There was a little weed shop across those people in my hotel room. And there's a weed shop right around the corner from the club. Yes. That's really good. they tell you to go over there when you get to the club.

So I used to go over there by like fucking lurch weed and then hang out. Dog, I fucking set the fire alarm off at the Portland Helium. The fucking Felicia was up on stage and all of a sudden you heard, Blah, Blah, Blan, Blan. They were like, fucking 20,000 comics have come here and smoke dope. You're the one that sets off the fucking fire alarm. What the hell is wrong with you? I loved it.

I got the reputation. Fuck them. Hell yeah, man. Gotta do something. You still go on acting classes? I'm acting class today, four to five with Deborah Lemon. I go to every week, bro.

Every week I go to an acting class. I know, you stuck with it for a while, and I'm really proud of you, Felipe. I got to tell you, man. I was watching narcos the other night. I was thinking about it. It was too late to call you. The next day, you called me.

And then I was fucking, you know, it was 4th to July weekend. I had my daughter, pools, parties, you know, and then I called you back and I felt back because you were at Soljos,

I would have fucking brought you some weed and edible something, give you a hug, you know? So next time you're in this before, give me a call during the week because if you call me Friday afternoon, I'm with fucking, I'm surrounded by eight sets of parents

and, you know, you're still smoking? Still smoking, still eating edibles, shrooming every once in a while there's chocolates. when people give them to me. Those are good. Those chocolate covered fucking...

I just ate some in New York when I shot. I shot a TV show in one of the ushers. I gave him weed and he goes, hey, I got something for you. He gave me a little piece of chocolate covered mushrooms. I had a drive. I didn't feel it. But fuck it.

I don't feel a lot of fucking things. You know what I'm getting too old. I ate half of one and I watched clothing counters for the first time. Who in concert? That movie, clothing culture or the third kind

never seen it for. Yeah, that's a good move. I haven't seen it in fucking 30 years. So where's your tour start? My tour starts in a couple actually starts this week

at the Tempe Improv and then we're going to hit up by Celia Modesto, Monterey, Salinas, all kinds of places. Some shows we don't have dates for like Chicago,

no dates. But they're coming, man. Shake on out at Felipe'sworld.com tour. But this week, I'll be into Tempe Improv and the following week, I'll be to Addison Improv. So look out for those shows. Listen, man, I got to be honest to you.

There's a lot of people I don't miss in L.A. You know what I'm saying? Like, there's a lot of people I don't miss. I don't miss none of the fucking stars. I don't miss none of the douchebags, but you're one guy I miss. You know, I talk to Rodrigo. a couple fucking days ago.

I checked them with him. I miss Steve Simone. I miss Jerry Rocha. You know, I miss the fucking our little crew. Rodrigo's a good man, but most importantly, I miss you, man. I'm happy you're doing well.

And I'm happy you're still an acting class, and I'm happy you're still fucking telling these motherfuckers to suck your dick your way. You don't give a fuck. We've done the same way for 40, 30 fucking years. What was the name of the club on Tuesday nights We used to go to where I would talk about Coke No, that was Fly's Room

The one you and Willie had That they cleaned out and they turned into a car lot All the way out there You guys had a Tuesday and a Wednesday for a while Walk Coyotes was Wednesday. It was Wednesday It was Wal Coyotes on Wednesday And that place was called Daily Planet on Tuesday

Daily planet on Tuesday Southgate That's right Casa Latina was Tuesdays That was Fly's room Where they gave you tacos Yeah Ernie G had the fucking Mamba

Room up at Universal Monday nights Monday nights Was the Mombo room And the laugh factory Thursday was Commerce Casino Thursday was Commerce Casino Listen to the fucking lineup

We had gentlemen And then you started The Comedy Store late night We had commerce And then Gilbert had a room In not Long Beach But wherever he's from

Where's Gilbert Escobel from? He's for Wilmington Wilmington He had the BFW In across the street That lady saw the best fucking tacos The best fucking tacos in the world For 50 cents

He would pay me 50 bucks And I would eat $50 worth the tacos At 50 fucking cent of taco I remember I brought my drug dealer Down there with me one time Dante. Dante, I was up on stage, and while I came off, he came back with two plates of fucking tacos. He goes, man, these tacos are fantastic.

I'm like, fuck it. I went and got 50 of them, and we fucking tore them down. I used to call Gilbert just to book me in that room so I could get the tacos. Yeah, that was the, the tacos, that was on PCH and Thursday, by the way, if anybody wants to know. Wow. I don't know if they're still there by now. 15 fucking years ago, but I loved you know, man, the Spanish,

the Mexican community opened up their fucking arms to me and it was because of you and I'll never forget you because of that. You turned me on to King Taco, the chorizo and mashed potato fucking no, no, no, no, the chicharones. Yeah, chichorones. And mashed potato

fucking burrito with the security guard there. It got to the point with it. Green burrito. Yeah. That was a green pork burrito you should get for the green sauce on top and the cheese and they had like big chunks of beef inside. People wonder why I got so big in the longest yard. It was because of fucking Felipe in his Mexican rooms.

Every fucking night on the way back, I would stop at King Taco, man, and get a taco there and a taco to eat on the way to the fucking comedy store. That's when you know you're a fat fuck. You ever wonder why King Taco has so many security guards? They're all happy. You thought it was a bank.

What about the night we almost got janked in Stockton. Remember the guy told us to get in the car with him? We had money. First of all, it was a bad night. That was the day the Raiders lost to the fucking Patriots under no tuck

rule. So everybody at that stadium, everybody at our show was a fucking Raider fan. And these black dudes were angry. Angry. And they all wanted to take us to the strip bar. They did. They were going to fight. They all wanted to give us a drug.

They all wanted to take us everywhere. They did give us drugs. They didn't give me coke. They gave me a fucking grandma meth. And you, me and Rodrigo sat in the room with the door open, and I must have smoked 80 cigarettes. I thought it was coke. It was fucking speed.

My jaw was going. I was sweating. My dick went into my nutsack and shrunk, and it went in. All that was hanging was a little flap from the uncircumcision. It looked like a fucking wind flap. It was terrible. What a horrible night. I was so embarrassed in front of you guys.

I could smoke a cigarette after a cigarette. You were fucking, we were watching them with me familia. Yes. Yes. When the little kid walks out and he goes, Pinché maillates or whatever, Pinché Winoes. Pinchie Gringos! Pinchie Gringos!

And he's fucking naked. That was... Yeah. How many estimate, estimate how many shows we did together? Just for fucking fun and labs. 500,000? 500,000, man. We used to go up north.

There was a Mexican. Not only that, but you've done shows that I've done that people probably never even heard of, like, that room, man, in, uh, fuck, man, since, and, um, in Lubeuk, Iowa. Why these boat, why these billions, bro? That place is crazy. Dog, that was the, that's Lbutte, Iowa.

Yeah. It's the capital of fucking Met. Okay? It's the capital of fucking Met. the first show we did was great because the parents were there but when the second show started there was 300 people in the place

but only four people sat down and there was a line to go to the bathroom and everybody was coked up I wasn't doing coke then everybody was coke out of it and I asked the fucking owner I go listen there's only two flights out of here in the fucking morning

because you got to connect from Iowa to Chicago and then Chicago to Iowa there's only two flights one at like eight in the morning and one at like eight o'clock at night. I go, if you get fucked up tonight, I'm going to miss my fucking flight in the morning, I'm going to fucking kill you.

And that motherfucker missed picking me up. I hunted him down. He came and he did a hundred all the way to the fucking airport to get me there on time. And I remember he gave me some extra money from my fucking, you know, pain and my fucking suffering.

That was a hell of a room. He contacted me years later. I'm like, you're crazy. I never saw. And, you know, for the people at home, 27 years are doing coke, I never saw anything like that in my life. I never saw a place where there was 300 people

and 290 of them were coked up. And I'm not talking coked up. I'm talking about talking, jaws going, cigarettes falling. Teeth. Loose teeth. He does pay you. He does pay you at the airport.

So as you get to the airport. He gave me money and he goes, I'll bring you an airport. eight ball later. I go, I don't even do the fucking Coke. What about the club that we used to go to with the magician? And he'd give you an eight ball of Coke down in Midland, Texas. Oh shit, that wasn't the Jenkins. Jenkins.

Holy shit. I remember he gave us all an eight ball. Me, somebody else, and he was the host. Now, I'm a fiend, guys. You know, when I did Coke, I was a fiend. Do you know that this guy came? up to me before the second show was over and he goes do you have any coke left I go yeah I go what did you do your eight boy goes I did it already I go how the fuck did you do an eight ball in two

shows and go out on stage I never could do coke and go on stage I did it one time when I first started like nine months in and I'm like it don't work for me I would it would burn a hole in my pocket Felipe you know me I would have that coke in my pocket it would burn a hole in there but I always waited to the end of the fucking show before I fucking did it. So what are you going to do? That was crazy, bro. That was that bar.

That was that guy. And then there was another guy that booked that show and Odessa where everybody went to prison. Yes. Midland, Texas. The dog, I did so many shows where the guy would try to, I remember one night Marilyn call me. She's like, the guy's looking for you.

She goes, go downstairs and get the Coke and then come up to my room. He gave me a bag of Coke. I remember the next day she called me she goes you coming to the airport Are you kidding me? I didn't even finish the first bag yet I still got the second bag to do

and I had some Mexican chick in the room It was fucking crazy We lived the crazy fucking life Felipe But thank you for calling in today I miss you with all my heart Give my best to Lisa What's up fool comes out when What's our food podcast

Every Wednesday 8 p.m. live on YouTube. This is what I'm talking about. Every Friday. So when you come back to the East Coast, you call me, all right, brother? Give me a couple day notice so I could come and give you a hug

because I miss you and you were always very good to me. You were a dear friend and I appreciate you because of that. Same here, bro. And I'll be, anybody listening, I'll be coming to Pittsburgh Improv in August, so look out for that.

You know, I might be up there shooting a movie, so I'll keep you posting. Hell yeah. For Greg Garcia, TV, show. I love you. Thank you for fucking calling. If you're going to be there, bro, I'll bring you some king tacos and you can eat them cold or microwave them. You got it. You

got it, tax sucker. I love you, man. Love you too. Thank you for today, brother. Thanks for having me. Thank you. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. All right, you bad motherfuckers. That was my man, Felipe. I hope you

enjoyed it. I hope it was fucking long enough for you. Listen, man, I have I'm getting better. feel better thanks to you guys you know like i said i got the blood test today i got my little stripe like frankie five angels remember godfather too frankie five angels was fucking black thing for clemenza that's me i i'm wearing it i'm wearing it for i don't know who a lot of people who passed away this year from covid and whatnot but anyway i want to thank you guys for watching i want to

you to thank you for your support uh i still don't know what's going on in fucking cuba my my cousin spoke and she was out of the fucking country. So she's like, I don't know what's going on. I'm trying to call. I'm not getting anything. So I don't know what's going on, but my heart goes out to Cuba still. I haven't forgotten about you.

And don't forget about fucking motherfucking laughing gas. It's still alive and kicking. It's kicking. This reef is kicking. I was telling Mike that I'm up to smoking joints now. So I smoked a joint last night of it. Like I would roll a joint and smoke it. then, you know, it was just a half of joint, but the other night I had to smoke a half,

and I'm like, wait a second, I can need some, you know, like when you fill a half of tank, you're like, what am I doing? I need to fill it up to full. That was what happened. The other night, I had to come back in, roll another dupe, and I smoked half of that, and then last night I go, fuck it. I'm just going for the full fucking joint. But now that we got the freezer bombs, the freezer bongs and the freezer pipes, you're going to

fucking love it. I love you guys with all my heart. Don't forget to stop by ice cream shop. dispensary up on Ventura Boulevard in Studio City. Stop by, say hello. They got ABX capsules. They got fucking laughing gas weed. They got everything there.

They got the best stuff there. I've been doing business with them for years. They're honest and their weed is fucking tremendous. You're going to love it. Besides that, thank you for sharing a piece of your Wednesday with me. It's just an hour, but it is what the fuck it is.

I'm appreciating this. I'm really having a great time doing this. And I'm happy you guys are having a great time also thank you very much we'll be back monday tip top motherfucking magoo to rock your world and uh you're gonna love it that's all i got for you have a great weekend and stay black cocksucker now for a word for my motherfucking sponsors jacking all right cocksuckers i want to thank you i want to thank philippe spaza for coming on the show and i want to thank you guys for always supporting me in every fucking possible way laughing gas, the NFTs, the

Patreon, you guys are great, or just listening to the joint. I love you guys. The joint is brought to you by Upstart. Let me ask you, like I asked you in the beginning, are you afraid to look at your credit card statement every month? When you open it, do you hear a drum roll in your head? When you're in debt, it can feel like

a never-ending fucking cycle. Listen, I got into comedy in 97. I am Captain fucking debt. I know all about debt and how to get out of it, but this is tremendous. Whether it's paying off your credit card, or consolidating your debt over a half a million people have used Upstart to get a simple fixed monthly payment. Unlike other lenders, Upstart looks at more than just your credit score.

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That's upstart.com slash Joey. Don't forget to use the URL to let them know I sent you. You got to throw in, I got to throw this into the disclaimer. Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit, income, and certain other information provided in your loan applications. And now go to upstart.com slash joey and get out of debt today. The joint is also brought to you by, holy shit, my favorite, freeze pipe. I told you in the beginning for years, we have discussed how nice it is to put ice cubes in your bong,

a little bit of snow in your bong, and smoke do you see the, fucking devil. Smoking weed doesn't have to hurt your lungs at all. With freeze pipe, you can get an icy cold hit every fucking time. It comes to a detachable chamber. You freeze beforehand. Here's how it works. The smoke passes through the frozen part and cools down the smoke as you inhale. It's like putting ice cubes in a bung, but better. The calls are made with glycerin. It's non-toxic, freezes faster than water, and stays frozen longer. A lot, fucking longer. Freeze pipe cools down the smoke by hundreds of degrees. Your throat will thank you. Whether you hit a pipe, a bubler, a bong, or a dab. They got it all. I don't have the dab here.

I got the pipe, the bubbler, and the bong. You see the pipe and the bubbler. I got the bong for Uncle Joey. You can't smoke from it. It's for me only. You can smoke from it. Freezepipe makes it. So do me a favor. go to freezepipe.com right now. Freeze pipe, F-E-R-R-E-E-E-Z-E. FreezePipe.com and press code Joey. This is going to be the best bong you ever bought. Remember that expensive bong I had in the office? It was like $800 with 800 chamber.

This bong hits a lot better with the freeze pipe. Trust me. So get your bong, pipe, or bubbler today. That's freezepipe.com and pressing code Joey. I'm going to save you 10% on a fucking bomb. Listen, it's fucking federal money anyway. What are you going to do with it? You might as well buy a bong and put a flag on it.

You know what I'm saying? That's what a real American does. So if you're going to go into the murky waters, do it with freeze pipe, the bubble, the pipe, or the bong. That's freezepipe.com. Use code Joey and get 10% off. I want to thank freezepipe. I want to thank Upstart. I want to thank Manscape.

I want to thank CBD Lion. I want to thank Hon and I want to thank everybody for having our back this week but most importantly I want to thank you guys for supporting the joint supporting the fucking refa supporting the Patreon you guys are fucking tremendous I love you Cox Up because don't forget

to get your freezepipe at freezepipe.com and don't forget to get your debt eliminated with Upstart. I love you guys see you Monday morning tip top motherfucking Magoo there you go and don't forget laughing gas at the ice cream shop, cocksucker. Stay black. Have a great week. Thank you for listening.