The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #087 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: August 9, 2021

Welcome to The JOINT..... It's Monday, August 9th..... This episode is brought to you by DraftKings & Better Help..... Download the DraftKings SportsBook App & Enter Code: JOEY https://www.DraftKings.com/sportsbook Go to https://www.BetterHelp.com/diaz for 10% OFF YOUR 1st MONTH! Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....

What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? Greetings from Podcastville. It's Monday, August and night from the heart of New Jersey. The Joint is brought to you by Draft Kings. Listen, everyone's favorite time of the years right around the fucking corner. Football season and college football season. Draft King Sportsbook, America's top-rated sportsbook app, is here to celebrate. We're jumping up and down.

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As you guys notice, it's working for your Uncle Joey. And also I want to thank you guys that have gone over to the ice cream shop to get some fucking laughing gas. Tremendous! I smoked at one of the nights this week. I fucking was drooling from everywhere. My nose is even dripping. But anyway, go to Laughing Gas in Studio City and get your batch of motherfucking laughing gas. Here you go, cocksuckers.

The joint is coming at you on a Monday morning. Tip-top, motherfucker. fucking Magoo. What's happening, you bad motherfuckers? It's Monday. Welcome to the joint. It's Monday, August the 9th. My fucking cousin's birthday, I got to give him a call. I never talked to my cousin. I only talked to him on his fucking birthday. I call him. He lives in Miami. We grew up together. I don't know what's his problem. He doesn't say much. But he doesn't say shit. I don't hear from him all fucking year. And today I call him and he picks up on the second ring. How you doing? It's been a great weekend. Everything was beautiful.

I'm feeling a lot better. You could tell. I got a little bit more fucking nip to my bite. The only thing that's left is my fucking rash. All of a sudden, my rash... I've had this rash for 10 fucking years. A little spot. And all of a sudden it blew up under my armpit,

it must be the fucking heat. I went to the doctor. We went over my blood test. There's nothing wrong with me. I got the fucking Mickey Mantle gene like Bert Kreischer. It don't look like I'm going to die. It was just a... It's just a fucking, you know,

between the knee, the fucking gums. I got to go back to the dentist today. We're getting older, but we're getting wiser and we're getting stronger. I saw this weekend that Rogan was getting shit on Twitter because of something he said on the podcast last week. Yeah, and I got to tell you the truth. I agree with the guy. What are you saying? Listen, I only got vaccinated because one, it was one shot.

I just wanted to do it because I knew that this was going to happen. I knew that they were going to start playing that you got to get vaccinated scene. I'm not like Jennifer Anderson. I didn't stop talking to friends who didn't, you know, what the fuck is that? I stopped talking to certain people because they didn't get vaccinated. No. In fact, the guy I hang out with the toughest hasn't gotten vaccinated because he got COVID already. And he won't get vaccinated.

But now, listen, he works in New York City. So now he's in a fucking dilemma. What do you fucking do? that's the reason I got vaccinated. I'm usually an anti-vac. I don't get the flu shot. I don't like fucking needles. But I had a funny feeling I knew where this was going to go.

And like I said, I didn't do the fucking whole process. I just did the one Johnson and Johnson. I got to be honest with you. I don't even know what was in that fucking thing. Because I got a headache for two days. I didn't get no sniffles. I didn't get no diarrhea. I didn't fart.

I didn't get sick. I didn't cough. I didn't get a temperature. So between you and I don't even know what the fuck was in there. If you guys think I believe the fucking hype, I don't. I believe this hype, though. This hype. What do you do now?

You can't perform in New York. You know, all comics are mad. And listen, I agree with them. This is something that we've never fucking experienced before. But welcome to the new fucking world. You wanted it? You got it, bitch. You guys wanted the zombie apocalypse and the walking dead?

Well, here we have it. Fucking, you know, you got the walking fucking dead. And I don't know what the fuck to do. just doing, I'm just minding my fucking business. That's, you know, Rogan said something in that little speech that I've been saying for fucking, for a year. And I didn't just say it. I did something.

Rogan said that throughout this pandemic, they've been pushing all this shit on you. But nobody, nobody said to you to get healthy. Nobody said to get in shape. Nobody told you to get, look at your life and see what you were doing wrong and what things you could change. And nobody told you that. Nobody figured that out. I figured it out.

I ended up losing 40 fucking pounds. I ended up switching my fucking reefer schedule around. I slowed down on the fucking drugs. I slowed down on the fucking edibles. I sleep better. I drink water all fucking day. I walk a minimum of four fucking points on weight watches a day on top of my workout. I looked at things to make me stronger and to make me healthy at this fucking age.

I'm at that age where, you know, the reason why I didn't smoke pot all those months because I didn't want to fucking get sick. That's one of the prerequisites is smoking. They'll fuck with your fucking COVID and everything else. So now I'm smoking again. I'm happy. Everything's fucking tip-top, McGoo, and I'm ready to fucking move on. I don't have anything on my agenda.

I'm going to go away at the end of the month or maybe the beginning of September to fucking shoot a TV show. I just negotiated everything. Everything is tip-top, McGoo, and we're ready to go. But besides that, I'm minding my fucking business. I ain't doing dick. People were like, you walked out of Guns and Roses. I didn't go to Guns and Roses. The reason why I didn't go was because there was 60,000 people breathing, jumping up and down,

and I could go see him in September with 17,000 people. And who knows? Who knows what my fate is? But me, I like to play the fucking percentages. I'm a man of many fucking percentages. You understand me? Remember, five points become something after a fucking year or two. So don't ever give up on fucking percentages.

What I want to talk to you cuck suckers about this week is what happened to me this week. I had an interesting fucking week. For start is Tuesday, what was the 42nd anniversary, death anniversary, one of my best friends of all time. I woke up August 3rd and I knew something was off.

And I'm like, I wonder what the fuck is. I know that, you know, because I always have a date for everything. You guys know I have a date for everything. August 3rd was the day that my friend Dominique Special drowned. August 4th was 40,000. something years since I saw Ted Nugent and Bond Scott at the garden.

They even talked about it on Ozzy's Boneyard on Wednesday. I'm like, holy shit, I was there. So every date has something. August 9th is my cousin's birthday. Every date has a certain fucking meaning to me. So Tuesday was Dominic's death anniversary. He died in 80s, so it was really 41 years. It's been 42 years since I taught Ted and fucking Bon Scott at the garden.

That was a complete different story. And then I saw him August 1st, ACDC with Brian Johnson at the palladium with Deaf Leopard. So listen, I'm a man of many fucking dates. I'm a man of many dates. I'm a man of many percentages. I'm a man of many fucking

whatever's. A lot of mistakes. But Tuesday was the anniversary. I remembered. I called her brother, her sister, his sister. And I said I was thinking about Dominic. We spoke for a couple of minutes. And then Wednesday, I got a call

from a girl that was here Sunday she came down to visit me Sunday I had some company on Sunday and she was one of the people that came over her name was Lisa we went to grammar school together and she was going to see another friend of mine from grammar school and she stopped over here first I gave her a little bud

we talked some shit she brought her dog we had a great time but she said to me that Wednesday she called out of the blue and said that our friend Louis the called me and called her and wanted to get my number and talk to me. Louis is a kid that moved to North Bergen when I got left back in the seventh grade. That first year when I got left back, he moved to North Bergen.

We became tight and, you know, we were friends throughout high school and then we all went our different ways and I saw him again in 93 when I was delivering sandwiches for Ashway on Kennedy Boulevard and he pulled over and we spoke a little bit and I you know I was just trying to keep it together and we spoke but we haven't spoken since August or September of 93 when Lisa called me Wednesday she didn't call me just for the Louis thing she called me to tell me that one of the guys I grew up with that's my age he's a lot older than me but I to do little side jobs for him. He used to get me inside jobs, if you know what I mean,

to look at the safe and to look at the security in a warehouse. So he would get me a job there for two weeks. He knew people. He knew people. It was always an inside job. And I'd tell him exactly where the doors were, where the cameras were, whatever. You know, I would just break the place down from him. But I was dear friends with him. I was a lot younger than he was.

And she called me to say that her daughter had died. She's 38 years old. She died of fucking pneumonia, COVID. and a cardiac arrest, you know. And I didn't, I hadn't seen her in 30 years. If you want me to lie to you know. I saw when she was a little girl with him, you know, with the dad. And, you know, it's not like I was tight with her or anything,

but she knew how much I cared about the dead. So she was telling me that, you know, when we hung up the phone, I was like, fucking life is crazy. You know, a 38-year-old girl, she just got fucking married. She went to some fucking parade, caught COVID, and the rest was fucking history. But Thursday, more, I didn't even really think about it. I just said a prayer for that's all you could do when somebody fucking punches the ticket and say a prayer for them and move the fuck on.

I mean, what can you do? You know, I'm used to it. But then the next day, I went to pick Mercy up at camp. We got home, and I went out in the balcony for a while. And the phone rang, and it was Louis. Lisa had given Louis my number, Lewis. you know he's not louis no more he's fucking 58 years old and he called and we it was a great conversation like i told you guys a couple months ago that so far to all the people i've connected

with the people that i've really hit home with or the people that i went to grammar school with for some reason or another there's like seven of them and we're tired and fuck and we talk you know all the time and now people are starting more people because they found out that you know me and Ralph Carey talk, me and Dave Ruiz talk, me and Luys talk, me and Lucio talk, we all talk, Chuckie McBride, so all of us went to McKinley. We've all been tight since the seventh grade. Why the seventh grade? Because Uncle Joey was a fucking moron and got left back in the seventh grade.

And it was weird because when I first went to McKinley, I signed up for the sixth grade. I got thrown out of fucking Sacred Heart for attacking Sister Heissent, and then my mother made me go to public school. Yeah, it's behind me here. Sister Hyacinth. And then my mother made me go to public school. So I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I didn't know if I was going to go to school in New York, Union City, and I finally decided, fuck it.

I don't want no drama. I don't want to have to drive in the morning. I'll just go to fucking school in North Perg. No big fucking deal. So I went to McKinley, and I got to tell you something, I had a great time. In the sixth grade, I had a great time. I had Mr. Lovito as a teacher.

He used to tell me that if I wanted to talk during class, that if I didn't talk, he would let me go up in the front of the classroom on Monday, on Friday afternoons and sing. So I would wear like a nice shirt and sing like Frankie Valley songs, fucking Sherry and my eyes adored you. Don't repeat that to nobody is between us. I was a little geeky of a fuck. I thought it was a crooner. I would sing in close to the girls and I would tell me to go away and shit. It was, you know, whatever the fuck I was doing wasn't working.

So the seventh grade at McKinley, the first time I did it, I got left back because I fell in love with a girl and we were dry humping, you know, you know the fucking deal. And I got all retarded and shit. I went to summer school and I played hooky from the summer school. And I failed summer school. So I got left back. But before I got left back, I got to be honest with you guys.

The kids I was running with that were, I think they were a little older than I was. Half of them were like six months because my birthdays in February. I don't know what the fuck was going on. But a lot of them were older than me. a lot of the kids were a little wilder than me. I didn't really fit with that group of kids. And I still remember going from the sixth to the seventh grade thinking of myself, I don't really fit with these kids.

Like I liked North Bergen then, but it wasn't my fucking favorite. And then I met Anthony Balzano. To be honestly, I was Jimmy Balzano's age. Anthony was a year younger than me. But Anthony hung out with Dominic and hung out with just so many. fucking cool kids sabatino they all hung out together i used to hang out with like hal and all these older kids and it wasn't just getting anywhere we were just it was more of a motorcycle relationship we all had motorcycles once i fell off the motorcycle got the concussion and stopped riding motorcycles we kind of lost

who the fuck we were you know even john bender all those guys they were a year older than me i got along with them but my heart was really with anthony and those younger guys so When I got left back, it was like a fucking, it was like a sign from God. You know, I was upset that I got left back. I felt like a fucking moron. You know, to get left back, you have to be a fucking moron. So there was nothing I could do. I thought Carmine was going to be able to fix it for me at the border bed,

but that wasn't going to happen. You can't fucking fuck around with school records. So I took the seventh grade like a man. I shut my mouth. And that was the first time I said I have to rehaul my life. And in the seventh grade was where I was smart enough to go, you know what? I got to stop doing what I'm doing.

I got to pay attention to my grades and I got to rehaul my life. And I remember I dove into karate and I dove into fucking basketball. I didn't care about girls anymore. You know, I didn't care about sucking tits behind the church. All I want to do is whack off and be left to fuck alone. I got heartbroken in the seventh grade. I ended up getting left back over it. Fuck it.

I'm not doing this ever fucking again. I'll be a monk. I don't give a fuck. In the seventh grade, when I got left back, I was never going to get late again if it meant being hurt. I was never going to suck tithies again. I was never going to date a girl again. I wasn't going to switch governments.

I wasn't going to be gay, but I wasn't going to fuck around with girls until I got my life together. That's exactly what I did. But in the meantime, I was going to karate and I was playing basketball. And I really, my first year in the seventh grade, I was allowed to play basketball, and we went, oh, and fucking seven of some shit. And I just couldn't live with that. I was like, that's it.

These guys are graduating, they're moving on. It's basically our fucking team. So when I got in the seventh grade, our eighth grade basketball team was basically us. There was a couple of eighth graders, but not really. It was basically us. And two kids moved to the neighborhood. One Puerto Rican kid, his name was Raul. He moved right across the street from me.

and while he was moving, you know how you usually move, you put stuff in and you go get more stuff, while they were moving, me and my pack of buddies, Dominic, rest of soul, his brother Mike, Sabs, a bunch of us broke into Raoul's house, and I stole his fucking stereo with his speakers. I gave the speakers to Dominic, I kept the stereo. The stereo was a cassette, eight-track, turntable combo, not cool in those days, but you had to settle for those because somebody cool would come over and go, yeah, you got a cool stereo, but if the 8-track breaks,

then your whole system's fucked up. So you have to get like a Fisher component and then get a cassette deck and get a turntable all separate and get a receiver. You know, that's what the fucking professionals want to do. I didn't listen to them. I did it in my fucking way.

I got tremendous fucking speakers that somebody stole off a train and sold them to me brand new. And I hooked it up with the fucking turntable I stole from Raoul, but guess what? Raul was a tremendous basketball player and we became friends. So Raul would come over to my house,

but I wouldn't let him up to my bedroom. We would have to go into the basement. So Raul would always say to me, how come I never go to your bedroom to listen to albums? I go, my bedroom's fucking dirty. Nobody's allowed in there. For fucking a year, Raul lived across the street. He came off to my house every fucking day

and I never let him up in the bedroom. All my other friends would go out and go, oh, we're at Coco's house. We listen to fucking albums all night and shit. And he'd go, How come you never invite me? I'm like, because you're never around. That was a lie.

He lived right across the street from me. He was always fucking around. But the neighbor was hot. Raul finally left there like in the eighth grade, but Raoul was a good basketball player. And we got another addition to the team. And his name was Louis. Lewis had moved from Houston Street in the village.

And he came to McKinley. Why, I don't know. He moved to North Bergen. He lived on the 26th Street side. His family had just had a loss. And he was a great basketball player. He could fucking jump. He was a Dominican kid with a little afro.

And I remember we used to smoke pot. Like our whole relationship with these kids, Dominic, Anthony, Louis, Dave, Chuckie, except for Chuckie, Chuckie, never smoked pot. But the worst thing we did as kids was we get high up in the woods. And then we'd take Louis and we blow pot smoke. into his afro and it would be dark out and if the moon was out you would look at the moon and all of a sudden you would see the smoke come out of louis afro we thought that was the coolest fucking thing of the world every time we got high with louis that's what we do when he get high he'd always look at me and go do anybody tell you you look like a mule because i had a really long

face when i was fucking 12 but 13 so he used to call me the mule every time he'd see me go meal meal meal So the other day when I talked to him, I go, you still call me the mule? And he goes, you remember that? I go, fuck, I never forgot. I used to look at myself in the mirror every day when I was 12 and go, I don't look like a mule. I look like a monkey. So fucking, Louis was a great kid, you know, and he made a great addition to the basketball team. I think our seventh grade, we went like three and four.

We didn't have a winning season, but it was a lot better than being 0.7. And we became tight. We just, all of us became so fucking tight. It was pathetic. McKinley rocked to. We had a fucking rocking little class. It was Louis, Lisa Messina, Orlando Salcedo. We were fucking hell on teachers.

Hell. I remember a seventh grade teacher quit. And we had substitutes for like a month and all of them wouldn't come back. We were fucking put them through hell. And when we got to the eighth grade, we were fired the fuck up, fired the fuck up. In fact, our first day in the eighth grade was the last day of seventh grade. And I remember the teacher said, before you guys even get settled,

I want to talk to you. She's like, listen, do you guys have a reputation for being fucking savages? That shit ends now today. I want you guys to go home for the summer and know that what you guys been doing and the school is not going to be accepted next year. I'm going to start suspending people, the whole fucking thing, and she was dead set against it. Let me tell you something.

We broke that fucking lady. We broke her like in February. We were so fucking tight. We used to go to Shoppren at lunchtime, steal Hubbubba. All of us would put a 10-pack of Hubbubber down our fucking pants. And then we'd go to class, chew the Hubbubba, and whip it at each other in the afternoon. until somebody

fucking got hurt. I mean, six, seven pieces in your mouth at one time. We would make huge spip balls. Our spit balls were so big

we couldn't even use the straw. We would just whip them. I'd put like eight pieces of fucking paper in my mouth, drink a little fucking water from

the cancer faucet, and I'd put that fucking ball together and that whole dog, she would be up on the blackboard and fucking paper would just be

on the top of the blackboard you would see like six feet of fucking of wall and it would just be covered with huge spitballs and you'd see the drip of the saliva going down it it was fucking disgusting but we're professionals Orlando Salsato Dave Columbo Bishop I mean we were fucking we had an Italian immigrant kid Michael Alagreta we used to whip him with the fucking hockey sticks and he'd go ay ay ay ay yeah he couldn't speak English I mean we had we're fucking savages, but in turn it made us tighter as fuck. We were tight as fuck. No coke, no acid, no booze, no nothing. We were just pot smokers once a week on Saturday nights. We were athletes first and pot smokers fucking second. And that neighborhood was packed with kids. When I tell you that my childhood before my mother died was fucking tremendous.

I even talked to Lisa about it. it after Louis called me, I was like, how many fucking kids were in that neighborhood? We had five kids per every seven houses. We counted them the other day. We had seven to eight kids on each block. So you have Liberty Avenue, Charles Court, Givinette Terrace, 38th Street, and 39th Street. That's fucking 35 of us that were tight from the fucking eighth grade. That's the number, I mean, it was, we would go out in like a fucking 16, 17 of us.

We'd walk up the hill to Union City and there'd be 16 coming at you and we'd have a stack of girls walking behind us because we watched those girls. And those days nobody was into fucking a sucking. We watched those girls like they were our little fucking sister. When I moved back to Jersey last August 19th, after about six days, we were bored. We were middle sex, middle town. Where the fuck we were staying at corporate housing? And I said to my wife, do you want to take a ride to North Bergen? And she goes absolutely.

I go, we'll go eat, say a lot of some people, and take a ride. And that's exactly what we did. And Route 3 to come south is my old neighborhood. You know, you have to go down Liberty Avenue and you catch the 3 East or 3 West and that hooks you into the turnpike, which hooks you into the parkway. And I'll never forget, I took my wife there in 2016. We took Mercy to the same park I used to play at, 38th Street Park. and then we went to the cemetery.

This time, I attacked it from the Chinese store on the top of 37th Street all the way down, took them by the park, took them the long way through 39th Street, 38th Street, showed them where I lived with the Benders, Jackie Garcia's house, Kathy Moran's house, just showed them all these places, went on 38th Street, showed him Carmine Balzano's house, which they had already seen. I took them through Charles Court and pointed out the houses, and then I took them on giving that terrace which they had seen me. before and my wife looked over at me and she goes i gotta be as honest i can with you this fucking

neighborhood is dead and i told i said terry after dominic special died in the summer of 80 august 3rd 1980 it sucked the energy out of this this neighborhood was done it was done after that we all went our separate ways and the neighborhood stayed there to fucking rot there's not a kid on the street I've driven by there at 4 o'clock there's not a soul on that fucking park on 38th street let me tell you something

we were on 37th street I'm sorry 37th street park 37th street park there would be when I was growing up there would be 40 kids on that fucking court there would be 20 kids on that park and the park even came with a milf

Faye the chick that I wanted to attack and fucking suck of titties and shit I still go visit her in Jackson. She's like 70 now, 80. Faye was the milf on the block with the two French fucking poodles. The park was complete. That neighborhood was a fucking great neighborhood to be a kid. It's basically like the neighborhood I live in now for kids.

Everybody had pool. There was a thousand things to do. If you wanted to break a window, you could break a window. If you wanted to steal down the trains, you could steal down the trains. If you wanted to torture the Chinese guy at the fucking Spick Store, You could torture him. If you wanted to torture the guys that owned the Spick store on Liberty Avenue, you could torture them. I mean, the fucking, the neighborhood was a kid's paradise.

Everybody, you could knock on people's door. Everybody would say, you want water, drink it from the fucking faucet from the hose outside. Carmine Balzano had a built-in pool. You could always go over there and eat. It was just a paradise. But all that ended. I tried to explain it to my wife, and she was like, I can't, comprehend what you're saying because I never saw what it was. When Louis called me Thursday night,

we were talking and he was like, it was great to see you. I saw you in the longest yard, blah, blah, you know, we got that out of the way. And he dropped on me. He goes, you know, I think about our situation all the time. He lives in Rutherford, New Jersey, and he said he was walking down the street and he saw a guy that resembled me and he thought about me and he thought about my mother. And that's why he goes, it was time to call you. you. When Lisa said that she was communicating with you, I told Lisa that I want to talk to you, but after seeing that and getting that memory, and he said, he goes, when I see you, when I see you in a movie or whatever, I think of your mom, and I think of my brother, because the reason why he

left the village was because his brother died. So the family wanted to get out of that house where they lived, the apartment where they lived, and they moved to North Bergen. So when he came to North Bergen, and he was at my house all the time. I mean, I had a basketball court. I had the above-ground pool. You know, I loved kids coming over the fucking house. Not a lot of them, but the main ones. I like Chucky coming over.

I liked David Ruiz. Lucio would come over. Lucio was the fucking commissioner in Union City. And he had like a little bit of a big chin at the time. And I'll never forget one time we were bench pressing in my backyard. And he wasn't that strong. And he went to grab the weights. And the weights just came right down on his fucking chin.

And till his day, his chin goes out a little bit. We used to call him the chin after that. But all of us were that fucking tight. So when I talked to Louis the eye on the phone, the first thing he said, you know, after we went through the bullshit of, you know, after you don't talk to somebody for nine years or whatever, it's been about 20 fucking years since we spoke,

he said to me, he goes, you know, man, I don't want to bring it up, but he goes, do you still think about your mom? and I'm like all the fucking time. He goes, do you still think about Anthony Bousano? I go, all the fucking time, you know? He goes, do you still think about Dominic? I go, how funny is it that it was his anniversary two days ago? And he goes, that's crazy because I've been thinking about you guys since like Monday.

We spoke Thursday. And we spoke for like 40 minutes. It was a great conversation. I cried. I don't know if he cried. I didn't make it obvious that I was crying. I just felt the tears roaming down my face. Before we move on, I want to talk to you guys about something.

I told you in the beginning of the show, we got a new sponsor, Better Help. Better Help is who I've been working with. When my friend, when I was looking for a therapist, a psychiatrist, whatever, I called a friend of mine, and we were just talking. I go, I got to find a therapist or something. And she goes, no, no, no, no. call contact go online and go to betterhelp.com sign up it's a monthly service they help you pick a therapist and they uh it's it's great i didn't know what to expect you know i had never seen

a therapist or a psychiatrist one-on-one i didn't know what the fuck to expect but i tell you what i was blown the fuck away against my better judgment better help listen what's standing in the way of you achieving your goals. Figure it out with better help. Like I said, I've been with better help since May. So May, June, July, and now August, I paid again. They're a great system, okay? It's therapist, BetterHelp is therapy for the 21st century.

It ain't a crisis line. This ain't a 1-800 line. This is not self-help. Better help is professional therapy online, okay? You could do this. It's all remote. It's flexible. You could schedule your own things.

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Back to the Louis story. So when Louis called the other day, we just talked about all the things we did as kids. He still remembered us listening to Richard Pryor. He still remembered us going to see Saturday Fever in Jersey City. We all went down there. And like I told you, it would be a crew of fucking 12 with 13 of us. He remembers still going down to see the Pink Panther in Jersey City.

He remembered all these little things from my life. But towards the middle of the conversation, when he dropped the biggest bomb on me that he could ever drop. And I thought about my wife. He goes, you know, we had a rough childhood. That was a rough, rough childhood because we had the world by the balls. It was funny. I was in the car Friday with Mercy. I took on kickboxing.

And I thought Studio 54 was on, you know, on seriously. X-M, I thought I was listening to Studio 54 because they were playing like a disco-type jam. And all of a sudden they switched to this other song, Baby Come Back. Fucking great song, you know, a love song, came out in the 70s. And I looked at to see what was on. I go, why would they play rock music on Studio 54 radio? When I went to look, I go, oh, shit, it's 70s, you know, 70s on 7, whatever the fuck it is.

It was some 70s show. And I was like, wow. fucking 70s had some great fucking music. The 70s had some great moments. For us, the 70s are great as kids. We all started hanging out like in 76, 75. I moved to North Bergen and 73. So, you know, all these kids I had become friends with like Anthony Bousan, all of them, we all came to fruition. I remember in 1976. We went on Boulevard East and we cut the fucking chain off a parking lot and we were charging like two bucks to fucking park to watch the celebration on Hudson River. I mean, we were little fucking gangsters, but we didn't give a fuck.

We were hustlers. We had a good time, but the most important thing is that's where I learned to live for one another as a friend. We all we needed, like I said, all you need is three friends. You could take over the world. Where I got that mentality from was what we were doing in the fucking 70s. We were that fucking tight. And we were having the best fucking summers. And after the seventh grade that we went three and four,

and then we hung out the whole fucking summer going into the eighth grade. I went to basketball camp in Jersey City. I think David Ruiz came with me. I went to Booz basketball camp in Vineland, New Jersey. Chucky came with me, fucking Ralph. I mean, a bunch of us, we would take over again. And when we went to that camp in the eighth grade, we fucked them up too. We put shampoo in one of the counselors' fucking sneakers.

We stole his t-shirt. I mean, North Bergen rep were fucking zented. Anywhere we went. When I went to Joe Namer football camp, I went with Chuggie McBreen. When I went to Five Star, I went with Greg Herenda. You know, I had Billy Herenda on the church of what's happening now. Listen, my Jimmy runs deep with these young fucking savages. So it was funny the other day, Louis said, you know, we were just talking.

And he goes, you know, how. downtown ended was very sad. And I go, Jesus Christ, we were in the eighth grade having a blast. I mean, it was just great. The eighth grade was phenomenal because my stepdad had moved out of the house. My mother hit him with a fucking saint on the head

and he was bleeding everywhere he left. Thank God I pushed him out of the fucking house. It was my hand because I had to get my shit off in the eighth grade. He was cock blocking me. Not that we were getting pussy or nothing like that. I just wanted to be a fucking wild man with my friends. We were going to Jersey City. We were going into the city and watching fucking three card Monty games.

We would smoke pot and go into the city and fucking just, we would try to sneak into strip clubs. Like there'd be a guy out front that he'd go, come on in, get a drink. You know how many times we went into strip clubs and we had chicks sitting on our fucking legs when we're in the eighth grade? And they'd go, all right, well, you're going to buy me a bottle of champagne? And in those days, they had like a little bottle of champagne. And this is all up along Broadway in New York City, guys. This was buck wild. They'd sit on our laps and all of a sudden they go,

buy us champagne. How much is the champagne? $20 a glass. All of us would squeeze their tit one last fucking time. Then the bouncer would come and throw us out. And we'd leave there with our faces red. We all had little hard-ons. I don't know if you guys remember the story

of when all of us fucking ordered a porno movies and it came with a projector, three of like seven of us. Me, Louis, Michael Spichial. Sabatino was so young. He started fucking crows. crying when he saw the lady sucking the dick. He's like, what is that? I'm scared. He started crying. We had to walk him downstairs.

This is the kind of shit we were doing as kids. We were in the real world. And I was taking all my buddies up to my mother's bar in the afternoon, after basketball. We were hungry or thirsty. I go, fuck it. All of us. Let's go to my mother's bar. I would walk into my mother's bar 10 deep. She'd go, Jesus fucking Christ.

And we would sit at the bar and I make the bartender give us all a Coke. and we put a cherry in it and make believe we were like gangsters. Like we'd be like, look at us, drinking out of fucking bar, because we'd sit at a bar. They would go back and tell everybody, we were sitting up at the fucking bar with men. My friends that wouldn't go to the bar with me would lose their fucking minds. But that all came to an end.

And let me tell you what Louis said to me that really fucked me up. He said that what happened to us in the 8th, 9th, 10th grade to find who we are. for the rest of our lives. And he's absolutely right. Because one night in May, at the beginning of May, we had already finished season. Our eighth grade year was so fucking wild.

Because as soon as we got into the eighth grade, there was two women eighth grade teachers. There was Ms. Walsh, it was our teacher, and Ms. Verga, who was the other eighth grade teacher. The other savages started throwing spitballs out of her and shit and she just quit. She just quit on the first day of eighth grade. She goes, I'm too old for this.

I'm not going to do with these guys. We already had a reputation. She walked out of the class and they replaced her with the mayor of Weehawk. And his name was Wally Lindsay. That's a complete different story. We don't have that much time today to go into that one. But that was also a fucking kick in the balls because he had an assistant named Turk Jordan.

And we'll get into that some other time. He took us to the Nick game. He showed up with a fucking passed out stripper one day with a tits out And he's like fucker in the eighth grade We got tons of story about that He tried to cheer us up You know we had the coach that fucking Called me a spick and then I ended up finger banging his sister and the father caught me

So the word on the street was he was gonna kill me so we were like fuck it If he's gonna kill me we're gonna kill them that's how tight we were We were gonna kill the basketball coach In the eighth grade stab them and put them on Route 3 because at the time, this is how crazy we were at the time. And if you live in Jersey or in the New York City area, Brooklyn, Connecticut, you want to go for a day trip.

You can check this fucking information out that I'm telling you. McKinley School is on Route 3 all the way up north. If you're headed to New York City and you're on Route 3 and you're headed into the Lincoln Tunnel, you're going to pass McKinley on the left-hand side. it's next to this fucking embroidery thing and then you have like shop right and then you get lost in Union City you hit Weehawken and you make that turn

if you watch the Sopranos when he gets off the toll the jersey in the beginning woke up this morning and he swings around that's Weehawking making a hard fucking left into Union City which takes you into fucking North Bergen if you're coming that way from New York City

you'll see McKinley on the right hand side and the York Motel on the left hand side The York Motel is not called the York anymore. Double check it online for me, but I think it's not called the York, but it could be. The York Motel was a dump, a dump. They were finding dead hookers in there once a fucking month when we were kids. We would go to the lobby to get potato chips when we were McKinley, and we'd always see disgusting people in there fucking guys with fucking rashes around their mouth.

We would see some nightmare shit in there. It was a rat trap of a hotel. But when we were in the eighth grade, the Iceman, The real ice man, Richard Kluxkinski, I didn't know this. I did not know this in the eighth grade. I found out years later, he cut a guy in half and he put him under a bed. Well, we were in the school when he did it. Like, we saw the ambulances going over there.

We weren't allowed over there for three days. They had police tape. So in our mind, we were going to kill fucking the gym. We were going to kill the basketball coach. Whatever, Georgie Frank, we were going to kill him. We waited for him with the lights off in the gym. We had sticks. We had crow bars.

We had a basketball. We had a fucking neck to choke them. Oh, yeah, we were going to hit him in the head with a basketball. We were kids. We tried to get all the makeshift weapons we could. And then we were going to fucking drag them out to Route 3 and put them across the street from the York Motel. And they would think it was the same guy who cut the guy in half.

We didn't know it was the Iceman at the time. When I saw the interview with the Iceman, I'm like, holy shit, it was you cut the body in half. We were in the eighth grade. We still fucking remember. But Louis said, that what we went through all those years

to find who we are and made us fucking stronger. The three people who died, the four people who died, one of us had nothing to do with us, but she had something to do with me. We had a great eighth grade fucking year. We went to Philly.

We went to the nutcracker's we went to, what's that fucking lady's name who made the flag, Betsy Ross, we went to her house. We went to her house, got thrown out of We got thrown out of the nutcracker suite because we were shooting the people in the play with paper clips and rubber bands. So they're trying to fucking do the nutcracker and they're going, ow, ow, because we're fucking whipping them with the thing. We got thrown out of the movie theater.

Then they took us the Hirams up in Fort Lee and we got hot dogs and shit and fucking yuhus. And we were singing, you know, three cheers for the bus driver, the bus driver. The bus driver, the bus driver. We were busting his balls the whole fucking way. But that all ended. That all ended one night with me. Anthony, Dominic, Louis. We were all playing basketball on 37th Street Court.

Mrs. Balzano called for Anthony. I said Anthony dinner. Anthony turned around. I said, Cokes, you coming over? I go, no. My mom's home tonight. I'm going to fucking eat. My mom's cooked something good for me.

Louis was there. We all set our goodbyes. Louis went into the woods with the other guys from 26th Street, and they were cut through shop right. I went home and I remember the next day I went to fuck in the 8th grade and before I walked into the class

Mr. Barone took me aside and he goes, did you hear what happened last night? I go, no. He goes, Anthony Balzano got in a bad car accident with his brother in Tweds, this kid, Stephen Edwards, that was older than us. He goes, he's in bad shape, he's in critical condition.

That destroyed us. That destroyed us. We went to the hospital. We hung out. in front of the hospital, solidarity. We went in, and then on May 20-something, they took him off the stuff and he died. We never recovered from that.

We played it off. We didn't really, I just kept playing basketball, and I kept going to his house, and I was part of their family now, and we got tighter, and then he passed away, and that was it. You know, we were fucking mortified.

You know, we were just blown the fuck away. We were all there. We saw him going to his house. Then we all went to high school. We stayed tight. We all, me, Louis, Dave Ruiz, Whitey, Chuckie, we all played fucking freshman basketball. We dedicated the season of Anthony.

We didn't do much. Everybody loved Anthony. That whole team knew Anthony. We were always out and about. It hit hard. Then freshman year, I got a locker with this girl, Roseanne DiAgostino. D. Agostino, Diaz, we had to get lockers with people in our home room. And she turned me on to this girl.

She goes, she doesn't like who she's sharing a locker with. Do you mind if she shares a locker with you? And I go, no. And somewhere in our freshman year, she went on a date. got in a car with some guy and they got into a car accident they both died you know but again it was very weird because i saw that day in my locker put the books away at that time i started feeling a little fucking weird you know but in the eighth grade something else had happened i started dating this girl named coline in union city she was one of my cheerleaders at st michael's and uh i'll never

forget i went to a house to swap some of my city and i'll never forget i went to a house to swap spit, whatever dry hump, I had no sexual intentions. She was a cute little redhead with freckles, Irish chick. I loved her to death. I never forget sitting on a couch and going, what times your dad get home? And she's like, five o'clock. And I'm like, what time's your mom get home?

She goes, my mom's not alive. My mom is dead. And I was like, ugh. I was like, fuck this. And I freaked the fuck. I had never heard of anybody's mother dying. I had never heard that before. I was 13 years old

I never heard that your mother could die I thought mothers were invincible and I remember that I went home and I go I'm not talking to that kiss of death no more fucking what did you do that your fucking mother died when you were like five and fucking maybe a year later

I did a hit of acid you know before I fucking left my mother called we spoke like nothing happened we spoke she says I don't feel good I'm coming home early you know, I'll leave you something to eat. I got home. She wasn't home.

I woke up in the middle of the night. She was fucking dead. I had spoken to her that afternoon. And then a year fucking later, you know, after my mom's dying, I'm not even fucking aware that my mom is dead yet. I haven't even processed it. And I'm walking up, giving that terrorist to go get clothes at my house. And I see Dominic Spichiaire run out of his house.

And he, I go, Dominic, where are you going? He goes, I'm going to the fucking, I forget what you call it now, the quarry. There's a quarry in northern New Jersey where they all go. And he goes, do you want to go? I don't even know if he asked me that. I don't want to say that. I just remember him going, I'm going to the quarry. And me going, all right, see you tonight.

And that night somebody knocked on my door and said Dominic had drowned at the quarry. but all four instances that I just told you I saw those people and I spoke to them and I got to see them a few hours before their tragedy ensued, you know? And it was fucking surreal. I don't think I ever recovered.

And it did define who the fuck I am because now when I see people and before they leave I always tell them I love them. So I'm covered. I'm covered. If anything happens, I did my peace. I always, when I leave with people, I always say I love you. These are the things I picked up over the years, the strength you pick up.

I'll never forget somebody came up to me. A dear friend of mine, he goes, hey, man, you know, it's weird. Every time I talk to Ralphie, I talk to him like it's the last time I'm going to see him. And he's a good friend of mine. I got mad at him. for a few days for saying that. And then I go, you know what? What the fuck am I talking about?

It's the truth. He's right. This could happen at any fucking time. So that's why when you see people and you're having a good time with them, when you're going to go leave them, don't take that goodbye for granted. Always look at them one last time and go, Jesus Christ, I love you. And that's it. So if you do get that call, you don't feel bad.

You know, I don't know if I did that with Anthony. I don't know if I did that with my mother. I don't know if I did that with Dominic, you know. I don't know if I said those things. But I know now I do, and it's because of that time that we spent together and we were young. We're planning to have a little get-together. I might just call Louis this week and take it right up to Rutherford. My teacher is in town, Mr. T, the guy who fucking took me in an 85 and got me off to drugs

and took me to A.A. meetings and helped me get to where I am today. I'm going to go visit him this week. He's staying somewhere down the shore. And I'm going to go talk to him because, again, he's got to be close to his 80s. And I want to make sure I cover my spread with this guy if something happens. He lives in Sarasota, Florida. So that's why the other night when Lisa called me and said that that that girl that I had been friends with her father, died, I knew how to handle it. Yes, I was a little upset and yes, I said a prayer. But I think that

what happened to me as a child got me ready for Ralphie, you know, fucking Brody, I couldn't be ready for. Because Brody, I got to call on a fucking plane when I was headed to Las Vegas to get on stage. What do you do? You cancel the show? You did no fucking canceling the show. You got to dig deep and be fucking strong. And that's what I did. But all those strengths came from what I went through in that downtown area in McKinley School. And I'm grateful to them. And that's why I think that these are the guys right now that I'm getting, you know, I'm fucking mixing with the best. Because our relationship was so strong in 1977, 77, 78, 79, and 80 that it can't be taken.

It's like whenever I talk to these guys on the phone, we, go right back to where the fuck we were. It's like nothing has been, no years have gone by. It's like we were in the eighth grade yesterday. So it's been the weirdest thing. Louis is a social worker. He's got a degree in psychiatry.

We spoke for a little while and I got to be honest with you. I felt a lot better since I've spoken to him on Thursday. My anxiety has disappeared a lot lower. It was like I, I don't know, I touched God's hand or something by talking to him. It took me back that fucking that much, you know.

Right now this year, the last two years have been rough on us, as Americans, as human beings, as people, you know, with our friends, our family. We've all fucking gone through debt or whatever, a friend, you know, like I said to you, I would love to sit here and tell you, I love so many people dependent. I don't know, I don't know. This is the first girl I remember that I know and, Well, Tina Petrillo, a girl that used to shove bottles in the pussy. And we were kids at the strip club.

She died from COVID last year. My heart goes out to her family. But I never really knew anybody that passed from COVID or whatever. A lot of people are passing and a lot of people are going through grief right now. I just want to let you know that we've all gone through grief in one way or another. You will survive and you will come out at the other end of this. But the most important thing is there's a silver lining to all this. So if somebody close to you and your family has passed from COVID

Or whatever, I know that right now You want to reach through that fucking video And smack me in the face And go, Joey, my mother died from COVID. How is there a silver lining to this? Well, listen, you're not going to see it today. You're going to see it sometime in the next couple of years. How do I know?

Because there's a silver lining to everything. My mom passed. All my friends passed. I have all their pictures up around my desk. Dominic, Anthony, my mother, and any other ones and my soldiers that have gone, Rago, and I look at them every day for strength. That's what pushes me through every day.

When I wake up in the morning and I sit there and I go, I have anxiety like a fag. I got to deal with this. I got a knee, I got a fucking, my gums are swollen. I look up and I see a picture of Rago, or I see a picture of Dominic, or I see a picture Anthony Balsanna, and I go, what the fuck am I complaining about?

It puts everything else into perspective. So there's a silver lining to all this. I know, like I said, I know you're looking at me going, Joey, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I'm telling you right now, there's a silver line. Even the COVID, as bad as it's been, there's been a silver lining. I got the best message in the world on Patreon on Saturday. Some guy signed up and I went to throw him a welcome fucking email

and he had already written me a fucking huge email saying that. He didn't like me before the person. pandemic and that one day he listened to me that i stayed on after rogan or something our podcast went up and i said something and he goes ever since that day he started listening to me and that he had a uh a bambi he had 14 properties and that all dried up and all this shit bad happened but he learned how to do something else during the pandemic and now he's blossoming again the whole thing so i know there's always a silver lining that's why When I got the call the other day about Tommy's daughter,

I thought about why I was so prepared for that call. Because what I went through as a child prepared me for the rest of my life to deal what I have to deal with. If you could deal with that, at 16, if you could deal with three debts, including one being your mom, the rest of this shit is background motherfucking music. And that's the fucking joint for Monday, August the 9th. I hope that this podcast gives you a little light.

It gives you a little hope in your life. And it lets you know that you're going to be fucking fine. I want to thank BetterHelp.com. I want to thank Draft Kings for sponsoring this podcast today. And I want to let you know it's all going to work out no matter what's going on. Whether you're vaccinated, unvaccinated, it's all going to fucking work out. Just believe in yourself, get healthy. Take your vitamins.

Get vitamin D. Drink water. Smoke reefer. Get your dick sucked. And stay mentally on top of this fucking game. Okay? Things might get bad. They might get worse.

They might get good. All I want you is for you to be mentally prepared and fucking solid. So we're good. August 9th is done. This is my message for the day. I'll see you motherfuckers. Wednesday. The 11th.

Tip-top. Magoo, ready to fucking go. And now for a word for my motherfucking sponsored. Love you. Thank you, bad motherfuckers, for watching the joint today. I know I took years into a little deep water, but I wanted to get that off my

chest. It's been on my mind for a while. The join is brought to you by BetterHelp. We told you in the beginning and the middle of the show. BetterHelp is therapy for the 21st century. Better Help is professional therapy, and it's all online.

Guess what? It works. BetterHelp is 100% remote and available worldwide. You don't have to live in a big city to get quality therapy no more. BetterHelp has a special offer for all Uncle Joey's joint listeners. Visit betterhelp.com slash Diaz for 10% off your first month. BetterHelp. B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash Diaz. I'm going to get you 10% off your first month.

It's already affordable on the expense. You're going to love better help. Thank you for visiting and thank you for taking the recommendation. The Joint is also brought to you by Draft Kings. Listen, in about two weeks, everybody's favorite time of the year is going to be here. What is that, Joey? Football season, college and pro. But we're going to start with college first.

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game. I want to thank draft kings. I want to thank betterhelp.com slash Diaz. And I want to thank ice cream shop dispensary in Studio City for carrying laughing gas and other reefers that'll blow your fucking mind. I'll see you cock suckers Wednesday. Tip top Magoo. Ready to fucking go. Ready to stab somebody. I love you, motherfuckers. Have a great Monday. Have a great Tuesday. And I'll see you Wednesday.