The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - 09/02/2012 - Church is In Session

Episode Date: September 2, 2012

This is the first episode of The Church of Whats Happening Now. I got together with my friend Lee Syatt and we talked about whatever was on our mind. Everything from weightloss secrets, to cats, to music and movies. This will only get better as it goes so stay tuned momo's! Stay Black!

There you go. Sunday morning. Church of what's happening. Now, welcome. If you're awake, we're going to fuck up. If you're not awake, wake the fuck up. If the church of what's happened, Sunday morning. Before fucking church tradition.

You hear about Joe, my man, Lee, Lee Leeland. Good morning, guys. What's happening? Beautiful. A lot of people sit to put a camera on you. I said you didn't want a fucking camera on you. That you want to be like the neighbor and the Tim Allen show or whatever. I got warrants in Jerusalem.

That's right. I hope you guys are doing fucking. time going to spark the fucking holy smoke. The church of what's happening now was in full fucking effect. Everything is beautiful. I had a great weekend up at the fucking ice house. We did Friday. We did Saturday. Stan Hope

showed up drinking vodka because I fucking loved that guy. Oh, that was amazing. I watched it this morning when I got home from work and it's just, when he was talking about Arizona, I thought of you. I don't think you're going to move to Arizona, but just the entire way he was talking about his town, I could like, with you or Tennessee

or wherever you'd go, I could imagine you doing that in a few years. Fuck you. I don't want to look. It's occluded and stuff like that. But it's hysterical because what a lot of people don't know is, Doug Stanhope really helped me move to Los Angeles about 15 years ago. I've known Stanhope since 91.

And we met in Boulder at the Boulder Broker-Joker when I was starting to do comedy at first. And he fucking stayed at my house twice. And he came back. He was on evening at the improv and we became friends and we kept in touch. And then I forgot what, you know, I forgot his number. some shit and I was living in Seattle by that time and uh he had won San Francisco comedy competition he was fucking huge and he came up and we did New Year's and he asked me to come back to LA with him and I was like I don't fucking think so and then as I was ready to come

move down here from fucking Seattle they uh they fucking didn't want me to leave like they put like this phony warring up so I had to wait an extra fucking couple weeks but when I got here I stayed with Stanhope he got me into the fucking comedy store for that's what a lot of people don't know. So I had a great time up there. Testicle Testicle Testaments was great. Testicle testaments, the taping was great on Wednesday night. We talked about Juan.

That was amazing, man. I mean, it's getting better and better. I mean, if you guys don't know, Joey does his stories, testicle testaments every last Wednesday of the month. Last Wednesday the month. And I'm very lucky because I, like the week before, Joey takes me to a coffee shop. And he just, we're just talking, but he goes to the story with me.

And it's, especially this one about your stepdad, just it was unbelievably you got emotional it did you becoming a father now it's kind of amazing to think of it came back it spins out you know it was weird because uh he was like my father he was my father he was my father he's only father i ever knew so i always think about him i find myself doing shit in the daytime i'm like that something one would do or whatever but besides that the church was happening now we're going to come to you live every fucking week every week twice a week monday morning about 6 a.m. Wednesday morning about 6 a.m. A little bit of music.

Talk about some shit. You know, talk about the rules of what's happening now. A lot of people don't know about the church of what's happening now, how it was invented. Church of what's happening now is a code I fucking live off, okay? You ever have these people that they come up to you and they start breaking your balls about shit? And you listen to what they're telling you,

you're like, either this guy's a fucking phony or he's out of his fucking mind. You know, talking to you about well, in in 1972, you know, We're going to be extinct. Who gives a fuck guy? You mean to tell me you're really interested about shit

Or you're just talking about this shit to be fucking interesting? The Churchill was happening now avoids all that shit. Rule number one of the church that was happening now is mind your fucking business. Rule number two, mind your fucking business. Rule number three, mind your fucking business. What that means altogether is nothing bad will happen if you don't mind your fucking business. That's number one.

Just mind it. Number two of the church was happening now, whatever they think they're expecting from you, give them something fucking different. If they're expecting an eye poke, kick them in the fucking ear, kick them in the nut sack or something. Something completely different here. Look at these Twitter fucking monkey toddies are savage. These motherfuckers don't sleep on Twitter.

You know what? It's amazing. They're up all night. I'm up all night. It's crazy. Especially with you with 70,000 followers. I come home at one in the fucking morning. You just put say hello on there.

There's 92 million fucking hits on there. It's amazing. We've created our own little fucking world with the internet. I hated it for a long time because they thought it was a bunch of young kids on there playing the drum. Jumping up and down. And it's amazing because we wouldn't be here without them.

We started out with Matt Flavors world. We did the CD. We did the documentary. I fucking Facebook. Look at the stock is going down. Facebook's full of fucking ads. You can smell the twins on there. What are those two twins doing?

Then they buy a house. They sell in the house. Oh, the Winkle Voss twins. Oh, God. Winkie Voss twins. These fucking Momo. I'm surprised you even knew about them. I'm trying to think of who you're talking about.

What the fuck you think you're dealing with, dog? I've seen social network. I've seen it a couple times I can't put up with the guy that plays the thief I like Justin Timberle-A What's the kid's name that plays the fucking thief Oh Jesse Eisenberg? Yeah he always has a look on his face

Like somebody fucking farted Oh speaking about fucking farting We finished the podcast the other day Let's go get some fucking coffee or something Now the whole morning You know before you need the shit Like we're getting up early right now So I'm not even in my shit zone

The shit zone starts about 730 Quarter of 8 right before church so it's early so I gotta eat breakfast first drink a few cups of coffee maybe smoke a number and I'm ready to take a fucking dumpster and I walk outside with Lee and I had a rip one and I didn't want to go on this car

you've ever have somebody farting and bring the fucking fart into your car nothing pisses me up more than that and somebody farts in the hallway and they bring it air it out out there so I blow this fucking tremendous fuck like I'm gonna blow right now listen oh dude

just like Like that, I blow a fucking number. But you can't, Lee heard it in the car. Oh my God, I heard it in the car. I'm a fucking real Jew. I'm not going to go in there with that ass stink around my muffler. I'm out there airing the leg out. I'm pumping like a fucking dog.

And as I look, I see a lady about 30 feet away. And she's about 90 years old, like a Spanish grandmother. And she's walking as slowly, like picture any old woman walking across the street. That's her. I get into the fucking car. And I go, Lee, this poor lady's about to walk into the fog of fucking dead up and sure enough as she walks into the zone

I see her pick her head up and just start going like this like she smells it and she made a face that was perfect perfect now if you were inside the house and somebody smelled your fart that's one thing but when you're outside this air and trees and chlorophyll and it sucks up the farts and shit like that and you still bump

into a fart that was a fucking good fart what about the one I just kicked right now oh my god there's no you're going to have to throw that chair out but that it didn't what you just said it didn't even give it justice that woman her face turned up and she was waving at the air like it was mustard gas or something it wasn't just oh that's a bad smelling fart

she was you probably ruined her day let me tell you something people I hope you're up don't forget let's say church starts at 730 it's 618 right now it's 918 on the east coast either you're walking out of church you're going to fucking denny's to stand out like a mook or you're going to go out through your car smoke a number and think about whatever the fuck the priest

or the fucking deacon or the fucking rabbi had to say well the Jews go to church yesterday. We're going to fuck temple. That's special. They go to temple with prince. You know what I'm saying? So, like right now, today, I've got to get the fuck out of here about an hour.

I'll go in there, I'll see Padrae, throw a fucking blessing on them, put a couple dollars in the basket. I'm out of there in a fucking half hour. But who else comes on before church to get you ready mentally for what the fuck they're going to talk about? Only Joe Diaz. Like today, what the fuck they're going to talk about? Fucking Peter and Paul. I don't give a fuck.

I've heard the story 80 times, but I go. I take a couple rips off this. And I said it's all low about the fucking shot. The funny thing was, now that's tremendous. Loving the church of what's happening. Now, I heard the fart here in Wales. Technology. You understand me?

That's how my muffler. People always say, Joey, speak closer to the fucking microphone. These are airtight fucking microphones. You can talk anywhere in the room they get you. It's like a fucking FBI microphone. Jesus Christ. Speaking of which, man, let me tell you something. I watch some college football.

What a lot of people don't know is one of the kids I grew up with is now the head defensive coordinator of Penn State, Jesus Christ, of Miami. Really? Yeah, they fucking won big yesterday. That was pretty good. I watched that for a little while. But there's no pro today, right? No, no.

It starts next week. Now, let me explain something to you. Let's say you're a pro-fucking gamble. Professional gamble. You're getting up right now. The first game could be a two. Who gives a fuck? You're getting up now.

You're going to get your day started. You're going to look at the paper. You're going to go online, see who's hurt. You're going to do some fucking voo. do, maybe throw a curse on the fucking quarterback, and you're up early. Fuck watching those dumb TV shows. They're steering you to a fucking loser.

Those cocksuckers, they're a kiss of death. You don't see them putting no fucking bets on nothing. So now you're getting up, you're getting early. That shit don't start this week. Next week is to fucking kill all these NFL junkie motherfuckers. We'll be up, ready to rock. Where's my cat's at? These motherfuckers.

These are the treats they like right here, fucking temptations. It tastes like milk or whatever. They got all different things. Nobody's getting calmed into this shit These little cock suckers They got up early with me I got up there was like two of them up already Oh yeah you said they're up all night

Well they're up all night if they get encouragement At like four they tap out They go fuck if there's nobody here to rock the house Where's Uncle Joey Where's the bartender But I tell you what you have no idea When you come home and now you have cats Because this motherfucker

Listen my wife goes to about at 9 o'clock It's not even my wife I'm worried about It's the fucking cats I come home I got a female cat that just sits there and harasses me. You want to lower that shit in there? What are you gonna do? Things are bad all over.

I just bump my earphone. Come here, what are you fuck with these cats? I got to get some fit out. Get over here. One of you little fuckers, get over here and shit. I got treats I'm giving out. Come here, Digby. Come in, Davey.

Temptious treats. I got the fucking check this shit out. I got, oh, motherfucker. There's my boy. See, he's all skin. Damn, I don't know, what a problem. There you go, Debbie. I got the cat about myself.

Yeah, once one comes in, they all come in. Yeah, no, they come in to see me. Now, the one guy's nervous. You should have called me. I would have opened the door for you. When you're knocking, he goes fucking bananas. Oh, okay. Come here, Harry.

Say a little to the people at home, cause a second. Come here. Knuckle sandwich, get over here. This is what happens early in the morning. He has to say a lot of the cats, the animals, and nothing. It's fucking Sunday.

So don't forget to get your oatmeal. You want to start the week off right with the muffler. You know what I'm saying? Come here, Harry. Come say hello to the fucking people on TV. I love this little guy here. Don't forget if you want to drive your cat's crazy right here. It's on Amazon.

It's called Pet Green Catnip Buds. These buds look fucking good, too. Thank God I don't drink. I come home and fucking roll one of these things up. Look at this. This is a fucking tree or something like that. So speaking of opium, one of the things we want to talk about is losing weight. That's right.

Joey's lost a lot of weight, and you guys can't see me. But I've lost about 40 pounds, but I need to lose about another 100, something like that. And Joey's been one of the best guys for me since we've gotten together, taking me through it because, like, the usual diet, I'm sure a lot of guys out there listening, or girls right now listening, have weight issues. And a lot of the diets and working out, it just sucks. So Joey has the oatmeal.

What else do you usually eat all every day? If you're warm... I just put a banana in me. I'll fucking put a little oatmeal in me, a little special K. And then I go for a little walk at about 8.30 when I take my wife to work, And then as the day goes for, I'm basically a weight watcher's guy. I'm always looking for new fucking recipes, you know?

I got the Doche books over. Listen, man, it's like my religious beliefs. I'm a Catholic, but I try to borrow from the fucking Jews. I throw a little Buddhism in there. You know what I'm saying? A little Santa Ria. I put it all together. It's like the Jikundo of fucking religions.

This is like the Jikundo of diets. So I do the Doce diet, and I do the Weight Watchers diet put together. And then you work out like a motherfucker, on the other side you know it's funny because when I first I was weighing 415 and for a month I would go box in the morning at fortune's gym and I'd uh hit the bag and I'd fucking uh there a macafoli would train me in the in the ring and I did that for a while I wasn't looted I lost 15 pounds and 60 days and then I read something online that talked about that you could jump

up and down for 92 fucking hours a day but if you're not uh Eating correctly. That's the whole thing. You got to eat correctly. And I read it and it made sense and I had gone to a heart doctor. And that fucking guy said to me, you know, he goes,

Joey, you've been coming in here for a while. My heart's strong, but he goes, you're too heavy. Your heart's strong. He goes, you should do something. Why don't you go to see what's that diet? Not when they put the fucking staple in your stomach, but the other one

when they show in your stomach. Gastro bypass. Yeah. He goes, you should look into it. And he goes that he could talk to a doctor and give it to me a course. and they could do payments. And I said, you know what, that's about 90 fucking needles.

That's 2,000 fucking... I could see me fainting the whole fucking week. I go, forget about that shit. So before I looked into it, I had a friend Marilyn Martinez who died a couple years ago, cancer. God bless her so. But she was on Weight Watchers,

and she lost a ton of fucking weight for a while. So I remember just walking into Weight Watchers, and it was just making little fucking changes. It wasn't making... Bro, let me tell you something. fuck like me stoner could lose weight anybody could lose weight because it's basically just switching it around

I went from eating you know this was my old breakfast my old breakfast was like three eggs sunny side up a half a pack of bacon you know toast and about three cans of Coca-Cola that was my old breakfast and it was like whatever what I would eat with my wife at

at 8 o'clock you know 730. As soon as she went to work or I smoked a fucking joint I go to McDonald's and get a number one with a fucking Coke. Jeez. You know, and two apple pies. And then I'd smoke more pot, and I'd go eat Chinese with my friends.

You know, and Chinese will fucking, will fatten you to fuck up with, you know, especially the Chinese I eat. And then I'd go home and eat the leftovers from the night before. And then I'd have dinner with my wife. Now, my wife is from the fucking South. You know, my wife will fry it if you let her. That bitch will fry a fucking piece of bread, if you fucking let it. You know, so we'd go home and she'd make a huge dinner.

Okay. And I'd go out, go to a comedy store, and I drink Coca-Cola's. Oh, geez, that's a killer. And I drink 10 or 12 Coca-Cola's all night at the bar with no alcohol in it. Then I'd go home and on the way home, you've got to stop and get a taco or milkshake something. So it was really easy. So with Weight Watchers, I went from that diet to basically one egg, a piece of toast, three slices of bacon, and a bowl of oatmeal on a bunch of fruit. See, the Weight Watchers diet I did before.

See, I write everything down. So the Weight Watchers diet I did before They had fruit It was points But I'm sitting there going Fruits no points It puts the shit out of your ass So I cheated

I just ate as much fruit as I could I went from fucking apples To bananas To peaches Like I just ate a banana This fruit's the key Like if you're over 350 pounds Weight Watch it says

To eat fruit Seven fucking times a day And that's tough man That's tough but not really That's an apple here A banana there A pineapple fucking here You know, that's really tough.

But, you know what, I dropped 100 pounds. I went away to 270. In the last 14 months, I've put on 30 pounds. I'm up to 300. I walk around at 298, 297. By the time the baby's born, I'd like to be down to 250, 245, you know. My head's going to be fucking ginormous. If you think, you know, my head, my nose, all you see is fucking nose and ears coming at you.

And that's one thing they never had to die for is the fucking coconut. that. Yeah. And let me ask you, because you're a comic and you would, on the road and being out at night, my big problem is I work a lot. And the, I would, there's nothing easier than a drive-thru. After you work eight, 10 hours a day, you don't really want to go home and cook. Now, you're not doing that, but you're out on the road, you're out late at the story. You don't want to come home and start cooking a meal so you stop at McDonald's or whatever. Is it just changing your mindset, or how did you get to doing Weight Watchers with that sort of stuff? you just have to decide what the fuck you want to do if you're going to McDonald's and all those places you're shooting yourself in the fucking foot anyway you're shooting yourself in the fucking foot if you're going to McDonald's constantly you know what I don't understand

how McDonald's is still in business with everything I read I don't understand how you got these little fucking kids and I see him going into McDonald's one thing about me guys if you look at my pictures if I could find pictures of me as a child that was always scrappy I was skinny I didn't get fucking fat to my 35s, sturdy twos.

Really? Yeah, I used to walk everywhere. I would walk. Oh, okay. You know, I believe in fucking exercise, but I got what's called sleep at me. One of the worst things you can fucking do is stay up late, especially if you have to get up early, which is part of your problem. Yeah, I'm working nights too, so.

It's tough. But here it is, man, plain and simple. It's whatever the fuck you want to do. You want to lose the fucking weight. I'm telling you that it's not hard at all to fucking lose weight. It's harder in your mind. mind. People think it's harder in your mind. Because Weight Watchers teaches you,

for example, there's a place Roma fucking pizza up here that they make sandwiches. Okay? Now, you could go in there. We could get a sandwich, two sides, chips, and a soda. Or you go in there and get a split a sandwich, get one side of red peppers in olive oil,

which you don't think that has points is the olive oil, which is good for you. Yeah. And maybe get a glass of water or something. You could still eat, I can still go to fucking in and out bird. and get a burger, a cheeseburger single with lettuce, tomato, no mayonnaise, and no fucking special sauce, I could eat a half order of fries

because the burger with the points is eight. I could eat a half order of fries, which is four, and then get a diet soda. So I just want to end and out for 12 points. As opposed to two burgers, the large fries. Two burgers, a double-double fries, a milkshake or soda. And you know what? At first you look at this meal and you go, ah, I'm going to be fucking hungry.

blah blah blah but you're not after you finish there you're not hungry at all you're like what the fuck man if I could do this all the time it wouldn't be that bad you know what I'm saying yeah one thing you said to me when we started is going like going to sell boy which is you can get healthy food there but when you go in there I always think oh I'm gonna want the footlong when you eat the foot long you're full if you had gotten the six inch and waited 10 minutes you're gonna be full it's enough food if you eat the six inch butt let me tell you something man and I'm a fucking I've always liked the best food

I always that's one thing about me My mother did not let me eat fast food Okay You know I'm from Jersey I had fuck I grew up around great delis Oh yeah I would never let myself On a fucking like I was in Nashville

And there was a subway And I go let me go get a tuna How bad could the fucking tuna be It's fucking bad Yeah You know I'm sitting there one day Like any other stoner on fucking the world And I'm watching a commercial

They're talking about the turkey jalapeno avocado sandwich delicious it sounds delicious it's a delicious it's a delicious sandwich if you take thumans fucking oven roasted turkey and you slice that motherfucker thin and you get a nice avocado and smear it you put some jalapeno's maybe a piece of provolone yeah that's a fucking dynamic sandwich right there but when you go to fucking uh subway or quiz subway you taste that sandwich and this that fucking turkey salami shit yeah how you're gonna eat How do you call him this a spicy Italian? This is a spicy fucking turkey.

This ain't no spicy Italian. You leave there an hour later. You're burping fucking cold cuts like a motherfucker. You're not supposed to be burping fucking cold cuts. Never. So that's the reason why I don't go to Subway. I know that Jared said he lost weight with Subway. Wait, five years enough.

He's got a hemorrhoid the size of fucking mount your lip this coming out of his asshole. Yeah. Because all that shit will fucking kill you. And the lettuce is petrified sometimes. It's just a little petrified. You ever see the fucking people that work in Subway They forget to put their gloves on I mean it's fucking crazy

Customer service in restaurants is to an all-time fucking And it's not even customer service at a restaurant It's customer service fucking anywhere You walk into these place and these kids just look at you Like you're a fucking three-headed fucking monster You know just either help me You don't fucking help me I go in the stores looking to fucking spend a dollar

And I look at who's working there and how they treat you And I've always said that in this economy right now, customer services was going to prevail. Yeah. You know, everybody has a cheap price. Look at fucking Amazon. You could do, you could fucking do Amazon for fucking nothing. Yeah. Go on and get delivery to your house.

You don't have to leave. Shipping's free. You just stay home and mind your fucking business. And that's it. You know what I'm saying? Do you think it's commission? Because, like, Best Buy in all those places, they don't make commission anymore. So what is their incentive to sell?

What? Best buys, any of those electronic places, any store, I don't know I have any stores that work on commission anymore, do you? Yeah, people work on, I used to work the fucking footlocks. A lot of people don't know that. That's what I'm saying. I think in the past, but I know at least at the big electronic stores,

they don't work on commission. So that's why they don't know anything, and they don't... Actually, it was on Louis the other night, the other night. He went into a store, and a salesman didn't know anything about it, and then when he got... When Louis didn't want to help him out, he the salesman tripped him, and it was hilarious, but it brought up a good point

that, what's their incentive to sell? It's why at good restaurants, when servers can make money, you're going to get good service. At least in my experience, I don't know. What do you think? Who fuck are you talking about? I don't know, man. I've been up all night. Well, if you go to a fucking nice restaurant and they know you're going to fuck, listen, you should always fucking tip big.

A lot of them, like my mother, my mother would get into a cab and throw the motherfucker at 20, just to know where she stood with the motherfucker before she even put the pedal to the metal cock sucker. You know, so they know where you stand. You know where you stand. You go to a bar sometimes. The bar is packed. You throw that bartender a fucking 10 spot and a bud and a rock and a coke or something.

They could stand around me yelling, me, me, me, me, you're going to still get the fucking cocktail first. That's old school type mentality. Yeah. That's church of what's happening now. You walk in there, you give that fucking guy a bud. You slip in his hand like a soldier. And you see what happens.

Speaking of a fucking church of what's happening. Now let's break over for some fucking Jesus fucking cookies here. I got these things last night. They're like 2,000 grams of fucking. fucking reef and a little. These are the new church of what's happened now. Is that an edible? Yeah, these little edibles.

Holy shit. They're really, they're really, what do you call it? Jolly Ranch is what you call them. Oh, God Lord. You fucking take them like this. Right now, if you're at home, get on your hands and knees, so I can throw a fucking blessing on your shit. You know, Jesus took the fucking juice,

passed around his friends and said, drink for me. The holy blood, this is my fucking blood. the new and everlasting blood drink of it and you'll live for fucking ever and then he took the after dinner he took the fucking bread and he broke it and he gave it to his disciples

and said take this all of you and drink of it or eat of it this is my body the true and everlasting body of mad motherfucking flavor. Holy shit So here it is boom the church boom throw it cops off of it

that's how we're running here today where these cats come see your dad you fuck come here mama another these cats are coming Lee's here today. Wait, would you get a hooker last night or something? You got the fucking... You came in here that you put them a luke on them, you know what I'm saying?

I'm sorry, man. Usually they like me. I don't know what's going on. Come on. Come on, Greg, Gray. You don't want to say hello to the camera, cuck, sucker? And I'm going to show you, this is Greg. This is my girl. Oh, Gray's great. This is my gray, great guys. There's my little girl.

She's not that little either. She's about fucking ten. I love it with all my heart. This is my little gray gray. Say hello, Cox, Elvis. Say hello, Gray, Greg. What's happening? I know I'm not in the mic leave.

So what? I turned it up, man. Yeah, they get it. Jesus Christ. They got to see what the beautiful cat is. I can't have a mic. Say hello, mama. Now, Gray has an interesting story, right?

Because when I first came over here, she was living in this room mostly. Yeah, because Gray used to live outside. And when I moved here, Gray started coming up the stairs and saying, Hello? Scratching the door in the mornings and shit, my other cats would get fucking pissed.

But then Gray got attacked by this douchebag fucking cattle I seen last night. He ripped open her little back. So I couldn't find that she wouldn't come home. So me and my wife went hunting for Gray and we found her around the corner

and we brought her back and the landlord downstairs took her to the vet. But the problem was once she came back, she wasn't allowed to go back outside. Okay. She's already got dogs downstairs.

says, that's right. This is my little girl. So I brought her up. I didn't want her to leave. She had grown up around here. She knows the ends and out. She's not a lot to go out. Besides, I couldn't have her out.

Look at it. She's my little black and white girl. Who says I hate black people? That's right. Cocksucker. And that's it, guys. We're here, we're queer. It's a beautiful Sunday.

This is like a really a run-through today. I want to just get out, and I'll see you guys. Last week was just a run-truck. true. We're probably going to start tomorrow officially, correctly, Lee? Yeah, we'll start tomorrow. And the people who've been asking,

you can watch this on Stickham. If you just go to Joey's page, like a couple hours later, it's like YouTube, it takes a while to upload it. Everything will be there. The other one we didn't put up on iTunes, it was like a kind of a test. This one will put up, and it'll be up probably tomorrow, and everything will be up the day after.

And just a reminder, we're looking for opening songs, and we got a couple, and we got some saying, oh, use this song, use that song. What we want, is you guys to make us a song without anyone else's music. And send it to Church of What's Happening Now Pod at gmail.com. Do it to Joey's Twitter at Matt Flavor. Do it to me at Lee Siat.

Just give us whatever you got, man. Just do what you got. Put it down. Fucking get a ukulele. You know I listen to guys. You know the fucking style of music I listen to. I listen to a lot of fucking crazy shit. And that's weird, man.

I appreciate the people who did listen, sending me some emails. saying they've been listening to Aerosmith Rocks because like I told you once, I told you a million times guys. It's one of the best albums. We're going to start counting down. Every time I get on, every couple days, I'm going to drop a new album

on you, and there's thousands of them. I mean, listen, an album is not just 10 songs. It's the fucking order. The way they put it on there, the way you could fucking feel it going on there. Led Zeppelin, too, is one of my favorite fucking albums, because how they dropped it on

there. Look at this shit. That's okay. She's a good lady. Put her on there. Pink Floyd DeWa. Pink Floyd Animals got four songs. You know, Allison's and Chains Dirt. It's not just about 10 great songs. It's also how they put it together. Another great album is Judas Priest, British Steel. You don't have to be old to be wise. It's the fourth song on the second side just to let you know where the fucking strength is coming from. You know what I'm saying? Do you want to play it? What? You don't have to be old to be wise fucking player. Judas Priest. 80. I got the vapor ban on. like a doctor what's going on gray look at gray came out for some fucking catnip who wouldn't I gotta hide this because if not

I'm telling you this fucking look at these buds on the catnum this is the best shit in the world Pete Peck greens catnip buds look at a losing mind come on gray gray gray don't fuck around

no what happened no no no I'm saying she doesn't fuck around those fucking candies are good I might have to eat another one you know what Here we go. Oh shit. A lot of people don't like this.

The singer's gay, he's queer. Listen, I don't know. You didn't know that guy was, I knew that guy was gay the first time I went to see him in 79. I said, he was crazy. He said, he was going to have been in the 279. At the Pilatee, this club is like a little stuff

a dumpy club in New York City in the 80s. As soon as I walked in there, a bitch had a fucking little twisted leather hat on the whip in his hand. That ain't a fag. I don't know what you fucking. He was good enough. This guy's voice was amazing

from from eastern to the east to something. Elbeck for leather to this album. I loved it. 81 was when I stopped listening to him. That was the beginning of the end. The album was so bad I rocked the fucking doozy store. That's how my...

Desert planes was on there. You got another thing coming or whatever I can't deal with that shit. This is a badass song right here. But anyway, let's go back to Errol Smith Rocks. Play the whole fucking album. We're going to go over a couple. songs here before I got to go to church. Let me tell you

some. I'm going on my second body of Christ compels you. Do you have a specific song you want to play from it? Let's open up with the first one. Back in the motherfucking saddle again, bitches. And where's my Facebook people? Fucking Facebook.

Too many Christians are on fucking Facebook. They really... You said that. Did something happen or you just saw it? I could just tell. I could just tell. Facebook is like... I don't know. It's like going to the business part of town that's closed on fucking Saturday. It's like the business bar as opposed to like the fun bar. Twitter, you go on Twitter, put a syringe up there.

Somebody will come back with a fucking grenade at one in the morning. Yeah, of course. You know, Twitter's always alive and kick them. Don't forget if you want to save your lungs. I hear the Eureka, vapor pen, no, no organic. This is the crazy thing about this song. Everybody's like, well, I haven't been a kid. Listen to people talking about that Harold Smith's not.

come back they're gonna break up they're on heroin kick this this is how they come to kick yeah what motherfuckers know there was no quitter them no Facebook so that's weren't first place for 75 Boston Redd Rock's Redd yeah five little dirty motherfucking other Boston became fucking one of the best bands in the world you gotta get these guys credit Go to the next door. The whole other next jam. Play that fucking music. Go to the next jam.

What's the name of it? They don't have the whole album here. They don't have the whole album here. Oh, here it is. Okay. Who do you think you're dealing with, dog? They got Eri-Smith. Everything on YouTube.

It's Last Child. Listen to fucking Joe Perry's guitar on Last Child. Okay, there's what I'm talking about. This is it? This is. Your heroin and your fucking soul. They don't even have music like this no more because nobody will take the chance.

Nobody will go to Chinatown. Pick up a bag of number two. You don't even have to shoot in your van. Do two little bumps. You see the fucking devil. He's on a harmonic and the fucking tambourine. Here we go cricket. Oh shit.

75 up from Bean Town. You can take our time for these people from Washington. Fuck. No. Oh, shit. Oh. You're going to get the worst fucking thing from it this time. What you're having to do? We get with you two.

Yeah, you got the worst one. You can't hear the lyrics tonight. There's already, there's always a... And I'll tell you one thing about Erosmith. It's not just rocks, that's a great album. Get Your Wings, the one before that is a great album. Draw the motherfucking line is a great album. The one...

Even the last Erosmith album, where Joe... I think Joe Perry left... No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, Joe Perry left first. Joe Perry went on and started a band for a while. It was called a Joe Perry Project, and I seen him open up. Heart opened up for them. In 81 at Radio's...

Kevin Hart. Are you fucking retarded, Kevin Hart? It's 1981, Kevin Hart. Heart, the fucking fat chicken, the skinny blonde chick. Fucking Kevin. This is what I got to deal with. Where is it? Where's the last child?

The good addition here. I'm trying to fucking take these guys into a psychological journey. All right, let me get a good... We ain't fucking around here. I want these guys to live. learn something why i think of the church of what's happening now is coming up twice a week people fucking confused i want you motherfuckers to stop what you're fucking looking like everybody else you got to be the individual be yourself no more sheep allowed blast that fucking thing

so listen for this motherfucker drop it oh shit oh shit Maybe you know the song's better than I do. Yeah, don't worry about it. Just go on home. Listen, I don't get a fuck what you got to do. Go to Amazon, go to your grandmother's house, look through her album collection. If she ain't got fucking Aero Smith rocks,

your grandmother was not a fucking cock sucker. So maybe that's why she's over there alone and shit going to bingo with the fucking priest and a bunch of other ugly women. Who what the fuck am I talking about? Look at Superbad came in. For some reason, my allergies have been bothering me. Oh, they're awful?

I don't want people to think that my nose is leaking because I was out doing fucking bumps from some fucking Puerto Rican. It's so funny, man. You know, I did Coke for 30 years. And the funniest thing is that I always think of this one dealer I had here because it was always such a blast to compliment. I didn't meet him. I met him in a parking lot in Hollywood.

You met him in a parking lot? Yeah, like, we were just talking one night. He came up to me, this Mexican guy. He's like, you know anybody looking for shit? And I was like, yeah, me. Fuck the idea. You knocked on the right door. And he talked to me in Spanish,

Contengo, that's the way. I go, right? He opened up his hand, and he had a Coke rock at his hand. I took it, you know, I go, how much he said, before he even gave it to me, he wanted to make sure I wasn't a cop.

So you know how these fucking momos nowadays? Excuse me, are you a cop? This motherfucker just took a Coke rock and put it in my nose. He didn't play with you. Wow. And you didn't fight it. You didn't like,

he just put that little rock in your nose that and make sure that you weren't a fucking cop. Okay. Then he did business with you. So he gave me the Coke rock, He goes, listen, if you ever want a cop, go by Western and Sunset there. There's, like, an old building or whatever the fuck there is there. McDonald's and there's a Burger King on the corner.

You ever go over there? There's like, and it's really empty at night, that area. You think that Western and Sunset would be busier, but it's kind of weird. So he goes, just drive over there. Do I beat you? Do I call? He goes, no, no, no, no. Just go to Western and the Sunset.

I'm there after 11. Don't worry. Drive around, and I'll find you. I'm like, drive around, I'll find you. Yeah. And sure enough, you get the fucking western to sunset, you drive down the block, go around, there's like a Thai massage place, you make a left,

and you come right there to get to sunset, and you drive back the other direction going west. And all of a sudden, when I got past Western, and I'm driving, and I look out my rearview mirror, and I see this fucking Mexican guy chasing me, like chasing me, and I'm like, what the fuck? And I go, oh, my God, it's him. So I pull right over on sunset,

and he would come up to the car window, go, hey, how you doing, the Spanish, skill in the way what's going on and then he fucking just put a rock of coke in my nose while i was driving and then he go what do you got and i give him the money and he go open your hand he put the fucking coke rock in your hand you put in the middle compartment and head home before the fucking cops come out that was hysterical another night one of the funniest cops i ever had i was in living in jersey he was like uh was it 94 it was the late 80s and uh me and my buddies were hanging hold on watch this far here

Santa Ana That's a good fart right there These cats will blow after this Oh that's a good breakfast blend Oh thank you got your fans on it As they call it So we went over I never forget this and my buddy goes

Listen we're in the city Why don't we just fucking cop in the city So we pull over And there's this There's this black hooker And she's kind of cute My buddy pulls up there And she's like what the fuck

Can we get some blow And the bitch is like Right here I got it or something My buddy goes So how much for a gram? We didn't even know We had nothing

We knew how much a gram was in those days My buddy goes What can I get for a hundred bucks Okay That's what he asked her And he gave he goes She goes give me the money And she gave the money

And also she goes Put out your hand And he put out his hand He goes both of them He put out both hands And she just went in her purse And started emptying these little Crack vials

A fucking blow Like 20 of them She's like Jesus And we're like What the fuck We didn't know What crack was

we were still confused it had to be like 84 or something I need 80 and we look at it we're like what the fuck is this and she's like that's crack bitch you just got yourself some crack and we're like how do you do this

and she's like you gotta smoke it and we're like where do we smoke it and that bitch had a pipe that she was smoking we gave it like 20 bucks bought the pipe from her and shit I'll never forget I smoked it the next day I had to brush my teeth with fucking gasoline oh god

that's something I've never gone into just anything other than other than weed I've never Thank God, thank God. You don't need fucking nothing. All you need is a refill. You don't even need fucking alcohol. I don't like drinking that much, man.

No, I've never seen your drink. I don't like fucking drinking either. And people that get drunk, sometimes they just tear. I don't know how to expect it sometimes. I don't know how to. Like, I went to Denver, and I was doing the show with Joe, and we were having a great time. I had a great time in Denver with the people.

And next night I went to the UFC. You know that? The Mad Flavor World, you made me when I'm talking to the kids. Oh, yeah, and the girls dancing, yeah. Right. So I'm there talking to these fucking kids. watching the Frankie Edgar fight and right away a girl comes over right some fucking drunk girl like trying to light a cigarette yeah I hate drunk oh they're the

worst now I'm watching I got my eye on the fucking camera the camp the phone the TV is right there uh huh I'm fucking watching this I'm watching this you know it's like a minute in the rounds of five minutes right yes five rounds in this fight this bitch popped out in the second round and sat there next to me and started asking me questions and poking me like poking me and she's like you have to walk over and meet my husband I'm like listen I'm watching the fucking fight

I'm surprised you let her go past two seconds no I'm why bro I had my eyeball on the fucking fight she could talk all she wants you know it's not being rude or whatever I'm watching the fight somebody gave me a ticket to come in here and watch the fight you know we go down there at the fights I usually don't want Joe to go by himself

so I go at 445 with him so I sit there the whole fucking night by 6 o'clock the edible is kicked in I'm fucking cracked. And, you know, I'm on my way, so I like to walk around. You just can't eat those fucking hot dogs and pretzels. You walk around at most these arenas today. They have real food.

Yeah, yeah. So sometimes I just want to stretch my legs. I had the knee surgery. So I went to this corner, and the kids came up to me, and they were fun. The kids were fun because it was in-between fights. I had a good time talking to them. It was the fucking lady when she came over, and the lady was cute, and I had nothing to do with it. I'm watching the fight, and she's poking me,

and she's asking me if I have a lighter and who do you like, we're going for this and I'm like, listen, this is a great fight, we'll talk after him. And she says, starts telling me that husband wants to meet me to walk down with her to her seat. And I'm like, then I'm like, then I'm going to let me in the area without a ticket. Yes, yes, they will.

They'll let you in the area. They'll let you in the area. She's giving me all this shit. I'm like, lady, and also the third round starts. Yeah. And she's still fucking hawking me. And I go, lady, please. After fucking two rounds, I had to say something. I wasn't being rude. I was lady fucking please. Can I watch it?

So she ends up going to the bathroom. So I'm outside. And usually when somebody gets knocked the fuck out or whatever or at the end of the fight, I'm out of that. Because I don't want to walk out of it with 90 people. I want to walk out of it with like three or four people and be outside. I go outside.

Yeah. You know? So the egg of the fight ended. I run outside. And also my phone starts ringing because I had gone with Duncan or Ari, all of us. You know, we were calling each other. Doug Benson was with me. So was Brandon.

and Welsh. So we all go on the phone waiting. So sure enough, the phone calls, and it's Doug or Joe, and they're like, hey, where are you? And I'm like, I'm in front of the place. I'm not fucking kidding, you. Lee, a guy comes up to me behind me

and right in my ear, goes, da! Lucy Snorbush, right? Oh, my God. And I'm like, can you hold on from one sec? Because I can't hear them. Yeah. He's like, ah, Lucy Snarbush.

And he keeps yelling Lucy fucking Snobush in my ear. Lucy Snorbush. Bush, Lucy Snowballs. I finally go, hey, you fucking cock, sucker. Can't you see I'm on the fucking phone? You fucking doucheback. That's the worst.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you that fucking drunk? I go, let me finish the con. I swear to God with that. I go, let me finish the fucking conversation. And then I'll do whatever the fuck you want. Yeah. Lee, do you know, I turn around

to talk to Joe or Doug? And again, the guy yells in my ear. That's why I don't like alcohol. And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? I mean, and that's the shit that gets me off. Listen, man. In my life, even when I was a child, I never approached nobody.

I approached Julius Irving, and I think I blinked the fucking Richard Gehr's studio in the night to see if he would suck my dick. But, you know, somebody's on the phone. I mean, the way I was fucking raised, somebody's on the phone. You wait for them to get the fuck off the phone or you do what the fuck you got to do. I don't know who they're talking to. You see somebody on the phone. That's just a polite thing to do is, you know, to see who the fuck they're talking to

and just say, excuse me. Not even. You're on the fucking phone. Yeah. But these people are coming to my ear, and I enjoy doing the podcast, and I enjoy doing everything the fuck I do, if not, I wouldn't do it. I don't do this for fucking, I don't do this because I want to do this. I do this because I like talking to people.

I like doing stand-up comedy. I love doing this shit. But that's the one fucking part that just kills you when you try to tell somebody, hey, you know, when you come up to me after one of my shows, I'll basically do anything with you. Yeah, you're out there probably for at least an hour after the test of us. Yeah. Two hours talking to people. I love it.

I love to. I want to know where you can. came from, what made you drive? You know, people say to me, hey, man, the story about this, helped me go to this. This morning we're talking about being a fat fuck like me and trying to lose weight. All this helps. People connect with you for a certain reason.

Yeah. And that's what I always knew. Like, for years, I didn't connect with people because of my comedy. You don't have to see me five years ago. You probably thought I was funny or whatever, but you weren't going to go home and look me up. It wasn't until I started talking about mug and hookers. And, you know, but with the mug and hookers,

I also shared other, you know, of their fucking experiences. Yeah. And I only mugged one hook, I know. Only one. One time. Then you feel fucking bad. You get one.

Yeah. I never like doing none of that shit. You know, sometimes when something bad happens to you in your life and you get angry at society, you're angry at yourself, you get angry at the fucking God that you worship, whatever the fuck. You tend to do shit that you don't really want to do. You just do it. Maybe that's what I did at that time. You know what I'm saying, Lee? Yeah.

Lee, what's going on? If you're going to play music from you? make me have to fucking play music over here and me switch this motherfucker up. I told you this before we did the podcast that we got to figure out I can play music in my end because I know this music. I know all these songs and I know

where to go. All right, the next one I'll plug it into yours and you can play it. Yeah, because I got to control the music over here. Now I can't give the people what the fuck they want, you know what I'm saying? All right. You're like, I mean, yeah, you know the music so. No, I got to love the music because I got to give these motherfuckers something to get fired up about it. I mean, this morning

I played a couple songs, but they weren't Ooh, I'm getting fucked up on those candies. Oh, really? Did you think you? It may be time for another one, bitches. It's the Lord's Day. And it's not even 7 a.m. Not even 7.

Who gives a fuck, man? Listen, this has always been a great jam for me. I always like Black Sabbath into the void. You know, the first time I bought Master Reality, I wouldn't fucking listen to it. I listened to it like once or twice, and I was scared. and I never fucking

you know liked it again and then finally as I got older one day I fucking listen to master reality and I really dug it again put on a little master reality at least see what you got for them which one black's up into the void fuck yeah

all right so I'm gonna play it for us first see if you like it and then if it sounds gonna play it'll play for them you should have things that I deal with it on fucking line Listen to this torch gun Yeah, here we go, baby All right, so I'll play it for them I'm No, I don't know, regular

television Yeah, the whole system You know what, I've never liked scary movies, man It's not something that I do well with We come up No, I don't like You know, but no, well, not even that

But even like the actor system There's a new movie coming out with The Jews are taking over people? Have you seen that? It's like a possession. Yeah. I heard it's fucking terrible. First of all, the Jews won't walk into the fucking...

No. The devil goes crazy. I can't collect them. Here you go blast that brother. Now I love you, motherfucker. Here we go. Hit it Lee. They came here.

He was real John on. John, who was singing when he was doing this out. This, paranoid. When he wrote some... Marries wear boots. He was walking around and one night you see a bag with boots on. We went fucking bananas. They walk.

And now we've had a reality show or had a reality show. What do you think about that? When the rock stars you grew up with are doing reality shows on MTV. Listen, brother. Let's talk about something. Turn this musical. Ah. You do your best work when you don't give a fuck.

Yeah. As we've noticed. You do your best work when you don't give a fuck. Okay? What that means is, you know, you listen to the first four albums of somebody, and you're like, fuck, this is tremendous. And then what happens is they throw, they got a little money thrown at them, and then now they're hungry.

Listen, everybody should have a great first fucking album. It's the second album that fucking kills you. Everybody should have a... What was the question? No, I was talking about the, like, we talked about last week, how the lead singer of Arrasmith was on American Idol and Ozzie had an MTV show, like, just, When you see your heroes doing stuff like that,

like you're talking about they did heroin and they didn't care and they did all this awesome music. Well, now they got money thrown at him. Yeah. And, you know, I was an Ozzy fan and went fucking up to Black Sabbath. And I was an Ozzy fan for the first two or three albums. Then it went into a different direction. He was barking at the moon.

He was doing all this shit. And it didn't really catch on for me no more. But it's like us right now, you know. I come on here for a long time, for a long time. for a long time I did stand up for 10 fucking years out here and I did stand up for five before that and I got moderate success

I got into some movies and stuff like that I did a podcast with Felicia I did the Joe Rogan podcast a bunch and I realized that you don't want I had nothing to fucking lose when you have nothing to lose in your life that's the best position you're in so I told these stories that were all real

about my life growing up that I would tell people for years and they go dog why don't you talk about that on fucking stage. You know, talk about these stories on stage, and I go, Do I can't say this. I finally opened up my soul to these people.

Yeah. And they took the ride with me. You know, I do this podcast in the mornings, especially this one. I do the one with Felice, and I do Joe's and Duncan's. I love doing them. But I wanted to do this podcast,

the church of what's happening now to let people know what the fuck was in my head. Yeah. You know, and I will tell you something. I don't care how many sponsors I get or whatever, I'm still going to beat me because I have nothing to lose. There's people that money changed them.

And when the money comes in, they get like, what do you call that shit? Like they watch what the fuck they're doing because they don't want to lose that. I.e. John Jones two weeks ago. He's a fucking champion. He has everything to lose by going in that ring with Chale Sun. And nothing to gain. And that's what a lot of people understand. Everybody's sitting there putting John Jones down.

Why are you putting this kid down? Somebody's calling out your challenge who has nothing to lose. Who came off a fucking loss, has fought nobody at 205. A bad loss. You know He's coming off a fucking loss You know at least come up and fight somebody at 205 Before you call out John Jones

And the public is like Oh John Jones a pussy No he's this becomes a business This isn't like I told Tripoli And the punch drunk dudes This isn't two Puerto Ricans At White Castle This isn't about just fighting

Because I'm tougher than you It's a business He's got two daughters and a wife And you know A family and whatever the fuck he's got You know He makes mistakes like everybody else But when you have a lot more

lose, you protect what you have, you know? When you have nothing to lose like me, I mean, fuck it, you know what? I survived all these years on what I got. I don't need fucking money. Money's not going to do nothing for me at this point in the game. I'm happy just being fucking me. We have a great time. We fart. All women walk into that fucking

swamp ass. You know what I'm saying? So that's what happens. You know, when Ozzy got that reality show, when I heard about it, I'm not going to lie to you. I grew up on Ozzy, bro. If it wasn't for Ozzy, I'd be fucking dead. Yeah, I believe you know, master reality.

I believe sabotage. I was telling Duncan and Burke that I would go home and I, you know, just to move on to the next level of my life after I was a kid and my mother died, I would go home and do a hit of ass and listen to what do you call that shit,

Black Sabbath sabotage. I would really listen to it and see what he was saying. So when he got the reality show, absolutely, I turned it in. I turned it on, turned it, and I should have turned those motherfuckers in. I thought it on and watched him. Yeah, part of me. It broke my heart.

That was my childhood idol. And I see him now with black fucking nails and eye makeup on, and they say he's got a ghost fucking singer, whatever. That doesn't bother me. I loved him when he was John Osborne. Ozzy is what the American public brought into. You follow him? I knew him when he was John Osborne from, fucking England.

Not that I knew him. I've never heard of John Osborne before. John Oswald is his real fucking name. That's his real fucking name. His name is John Ozzy Osborne or whatever the fuck. So that's when I was into him. It's like anybody else, man. You know, an athlete, it comes into the league.

He's fucking great. And then he gets $15 million a year. He's not going to dive on the floor no more. He's not going to be Larry Bird. That's why so many people admire Larry Bird because in the point of his fucking career, he would chase a ball and scrape his elbow and go into the stands. You know, there's some people that...

You see Major League, the movie. Yeah. You know, when he would say, well, this is the third basement to say? I'm not going to... Oh, I don't remember. not going to pick up the ball because I might ricochet off this face. People don't, you know, they worry about that.

You have to live your life without a fucking safety net. Once you have that safety net, and that's what happens, you're not the same person anymore. I love doing this shit. I really do, Lee, because the reason why I do these podcasts and I talk to shit I do is because there's a lot of young kids right now that are walking around the same way I did at 21 or 22 or 28 or 30 confused. and I'm 49, not only, and I swear to God, with the knowledge I have, I wish I had 10 more years. I wish I could add 10 years to my life, but you know what?

The sad scenario is I can't. Yeah. And for years when I was a young guy and I was out there doing what I was doing, older people come to me and talk to me and give me advice, and I always go fuck yourself. You don't know what you're talking about. And now they did know what they were talking about. And the only day I could wish is people take from me what they can.

and we're going to finish this joint we're going to get the fuck out of here for the day that's it how long have we been on for? Just under an hour just under an hour it feels like two fucking years I know right and we have

I've had 1,500 people listen to Sunday for a Sunday morning and they're getting ready for church and at least you got to spend an hour with Uncle Joey smoke a bone we ate some medables I introduced you to the cats

we talked about a couple interesting subjects about I farted who farts on a fucking podcast and you hear it with that Intensity because a lot of people thought it was real quick. What are you going to do? You know what I'm saying? But it's beautiful to start the week off with you.

And, you know, that's another reason. People always say to me, oh, Joey, you don't work Sunday nights. I got a couple reasons I don't work Sunday nights. I fucking hate working Sunday on the seventh day. God rested and made fucking Black Sabbath. And number two, because I want to do a podcast on Mondays. I like being home on Mondays.

I like being focused on Mondays because it sets me up for the rest of the fucking week. Yeah. You know, we're going to have my friends calling in. We're going to have Lill-L-Lub's call in. I'm excited. We're going to have the North Bergen Minute. We get to tell stories

when I robbed the gas station with the water pistol. Shit like that. I'm going to have my boy Joey Falado calling. So we got a lot of shit going on. Tomorrow we got another one. Yeah.

And I appreciate you guys turning this on on Sunday, man. You know, I didn't get up at 5 for fucking my health here. I mean, nobody's cutting a check. I got a few motherfuckers to smoke dope with you guys. I know half he is at the house going,

fuck it. I'm going to roll up a bone with my uncle Joey and we're going to smoke through osmosis. That's what we do here. Look at the fucking. cat. She hasn't moved on it. No, she's a part of it. What are you doing?

Huh? What are you doing? Now, I know a lot of people out there are excited for. I don't know if you watch. Do you watch Breaking Bad? No. No, you don't... Why would you watch Breaking Bad when you live Breaking Bad? That was my question. Are any of these shows or movies or anything like that? Anything like reality?

Or is it just, it's just all fiction and it's just nothing like that at all? Listen, man, you know, they use they use consultants and shit like, all right, I was watching what's the show I watch on Friday nights or whatever A son's Anarchy

I have a few friends on Sun's Anarchy and I watch the fucking show So you're gonna tell your wife about killing people Your old lady knows about killing people I don't like when they all sit together And they vote because if I go Let's fuck Lee up the ass

I gotta vote with eight people Those eight people could take you to fucking jail I don't like talking with more than two fucking people In the room Okay So there's little things like that That you really have to think about And say what the fuck

You know, I was watching an episode of Sopranos in the hotel when I was in Sacramento, and it was the one when they were going to shoot somebody. So Tony Soprano told the guy with the hair and Sharipa to take care of this guy, and then that guy went and told Paulie, and then Paulie hired a guy, and then he went down and told somebody else. So there was seven fucking people involved in his hit. Seven people. That means there's seven people who get pulled over and have an ounce of blowing it

and have a story for the cops. Okay. Is that realistic? No. If I was going to kill somebody and I was a gangster, I go to my underboss or whatever and go, listen, this guy's got to go. There's two years.

Two years is better than fucking seven. So I've never understood that concept on them. When I watch a TV show, I'm like, that's got to be a fucking bullshit. That's got to be bullshit. Okay. Nobody would have a fucking, we're going to move guns.

Here's seven of us. No. The hierarchy is going to talk about them. The underlings are going to stay outside. It's shit for them not to know. Okay. You know, the more people that know you're crying, the more people that can testify against you.

You know, if 80 years is like, yeah, we kill fucking Joey Diaz, 80 years at one time, you're fucking living on eggshells. You don't know when that fucking mark is going to come in. That's what number, that's rule number four, the church of what's happening now. Calm is a motherfucker. If you do it, expect a receipt. Really? Because life will always give you a fucking receipt. So, you know, when I watch those type of shows and how they do it, breaking bad, I've never really watched.

I've never gotten into it. Oh, it's amazing. It's amazing. No, I know. I just got to get into it. to it in the beginning. I'm like most people. Once the show ends, I'll get the DVD, a friend will give me the box set

and I'll watch them without commercials, and I really get into it. I just, you know, Lee, man, you know, I always love sports. I grew up on sports. Jesus Christ, I went to five-star basketball camp. I was going to go to St. Anthony's in Jersey City, when the Hurley's were there. Winters were not. The little

Hurley kids were kids, and I knew the old man, you know, and I love playing basketball, you know, and I love watching college basketball. I love watching pro football and I would watch baseball. But at 16, my mother died and I had to make a hustle and I had to make a living. So I learned how to watch what's fucking important.

Yeah. Everybody wants to watch a fucking game, but this is what needs to be done. Yeah. So I watch sports today. I really don't know what's going on because now I understand you can live without sports. When I see these guys walking around with their fucking jerseys on Sundays I'm like, really, guy. But that's what

they're into. I'm into weed. That's what They're into, so I can't be mad at them for being... Me, I'm into the team that covers the fucking spread. If I'm going to watch a game, I want to watch the fucking game. I'm a Cuban Jew. I got a hat that says minus seven on it. I don't give a fuck about Broncos or fucking charges or Lakers and other that shit. Although I do like to watch the Lakers.

So it's really weird. I like sports, but you realize that you have so many fucking different things going on. You just can't pay attention to everything. You want to read a book and try to get knowledge coming in. You try to write. Now you got to keep up with movies. You got to keep up with all these fucking things. And it's weird because a lot of people always ask me about movies.

And we've always got on the Rogan bandwagon. Whenever I get on the Rogan thing, we start talking about 70s movies in the 70s. And you know what? They're great, but they're a little slow for most people. You know, we're from a fucking we want it situation. We're from the church or the new church of what's happening now. We want it now. So it's kind of fucking tough to wait for that stuff.

When you watch a movie from the 70s, you're probably. patience level has to be unbelievable. You've got to be really stone because you're so used to explosives and shit happening. Conversations are quicker. So the movie for this week I'm going to give you guys. That's a fucking classic. What can I give them late?

A nice 70s. That's a great fucking movie that I realized last week, guys. I'm going to give you a movie in the martial arts genre. See, and here's the problem with it. That a lot of people, they released all those Bruce Lee movies with different titles. So what was released is the Chinese connection is now Fist of Fury. The way I look at it is the fist of fury was the first one.

Chinese connection is when his teacher gets killed and he avenges his teacher and he fucking fucks up to Japanese school and he hangs them. Let me tell you some, if you have time this weekend, please watch the second Bruce Lee Moore, which is the Chinese connection. Okay. When they kill his teacher, when they poison the teacher, that is one. I got it on DVR. I got it on DVR.

Whenever I'm a little depressed, I watch it. Watch that movie. What's the passion on Bruce Lee's face? That was his second movie. He was still tight with Steve McQueen. He would call him for acting. Watch that fucking movie, guys. Chinese connection with Bruce Lee.

That's all. That's it for today. I don't know what else to fucking tell you. What do you think, Lee? Did we forget anything? No, man. Since I'm kind of busy, I'm going to do it today, I'm going to build the Facebook page for the show.

And we want all you guys to go there and comment on the movie, talk about the movie, talk about the music. We want this to be a community of people. Talk about the motherfucking movement, the church of what's happening now. We're getting ours back. Today I gave you rule number one, which is mind your fucking business. Rule number four, calm is a motherfucker.

I don't do it unless you want a fucking receipt. And that's what we're trying to do. We're trying to put you motherfuckers together. So when you get out of the house, listen, I can do this podcast at 10 o'clock at night. I can do this at 3 in the morning with Lee. I do it now because what I'm trying to do is get you ready for the motherfucking day. It's a beautiful day to be alive. Go out there, go out there, fucking do what you need to do.

Get your dick sucked. Go out there and exercise. Go out there and get some sunlight. good enjoy your family today because this is only one life man fuck all that nonsense stay black what else we got this week nothing man we're gonna be back tomorrow Labor Day send us send us some emails

Church of What's Happening Now Pod at gmail.com send us questions anything you want to ask Joey and we want to read it on air man I mean you're part of this with us and just send it and we'll make the show as long as we can if we have stuff to talk about we'll go two or three hours you know Lee is Jewish so for all you

Jews you got a fucking compadre I'm a Cuban Jew You know the whole fucking thing We're bringing the Yamika back Hold on Oh One last fart That was three farts in a podcast

Who gives you That type of entertainment Huh? What time we're coming on tomorrow Lee? One at the same time Six o'clock 6 a.m.

Let's do 6 a.m. tomorrow See you motherfuckers It's 6 a.m. tomorrow Don't forget Take it with you. I love you guys For watching and stay black

motherfuckers Bye guys Thank you.