The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #091 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: August 23, 2021

Welcome to The JOINT..... It's Monday, August 23rd..... This episode is brought to you by Boll & Branch, Draftkings & Onnit..... Go to https://www.BollAndBranch.com Promo Code: JOEY | 15% Off 1st Pair of Sheets Download the DraftKings SportsBook App & Enter Code: JOEY https://www.DraftKings.com/sportsbook Go to https://www.onnit.com PROMO CODE: JOEY or CHURCH Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....

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Let's do this. What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? It's Monday to 23rd of August. I hope you had a great weekend. I hope you had a great fucking week last week. We did. I had a good fucking week last week. I had a couple breakthroughs.

Doctors, you know, the whole fucking thing. Now this week, I would be out of town. shooting a TV show. I'm fucking excited about that. I get a little insurance next year. Just in case I need new fucking glasses or new teeth or whatever the fuck it is. You got to work a certain amount of quarters to qualify for insurance. Suppose they're not using residuals no more.

It's a brain fuck. I don't give a fuck. I'm just looking to work. I'm not getting rich. I'm just going to go work. See some people. Say hello and be fucking, you know, still be out there. What the fuck am I doing here?

just sitting around. These are the worst two weeks of August to be here. It's going to be humid. Nobody's around. People are fucking traveling. It's back to school time. You know, people are depressed. Fuck it.

I'm going on a road trip. I'm going to eat some food. I'm going to smoke some reefer. And I'm going to enjoy my time with my fucking family. You know what I'm saying? I have a great time with them. This last week we went to see fucking Greece at the rec center. We left after 20 minutes.

So we got the fuck out of there plus the mosquitoes were eating this out Friday we went to a fucking bonfire Saturday we went to two parties went to a party I got to tell you it was great to see this guy You know it was a I went to two parties first I had to go to freehold and then I had to go back up north To a different outdoor party and shit it was raining you know we had to catch whatever we could But I saw a guy that made me fucking laugh so hard I thought back to 84, New Year's of 84. We're in a bar.

We got a couple lines in us. We got a fucking gorilla biscuit in us. It's me, stinky. My man, Roger, God rest his soul, and Fernie, a bunch of us hanging out, but it was our unique clique. And this kid came in, his name was John. He looked a little fucking perturbed.

It wasn't New Year's Eve yet. It was like, uh, probably 10.45. The ball was a little quiet still. This was a quiet bar. we were there for a fucking reason this kid walks in he's all fucking flabbergasted he goes listen

I don't know what to say my father just got jumped down at this taxi place on fucking 32nd street it was close to my mother's boss so I knew exactly what he was talking about he goes we gotta go down there

and fucking fuck them up now I got a couple cocktails in me I got a gorilla biscuit I got a fucking coke I got a couple lines in me I'm in no mood to go in hand to hang combat with anybody. That's the worst time to get yourself involved in a fucking altercation.

But my friends are like, let's go. You know, let's go down there fucking help him out. And I'm like, oh, fuck. So we go down there, we get in the car, the kid gets in his car, and we all go down to Union City. We fucking parked the car. And the taxi cab stand, it was a cab stand, like in Goodfellas. It's a big Goodfellers week.

It was a cab stand. And it had like sun shield on the fucking glass. So you really couldn't see in. You could see people standing there, but you really couldn't see in. So we pull up, we get out of the car, and the guy, John, he goes, listen, this is my dad.

I just need you guys for backup. Let me go in there and do the cleanup first. And if you, if things get danger, you guys come in. I said, all right, no problem. You know, I'm a little fucked up. I'm not even talking probably. I'm just making noise. You know, whatever the fuck I'm doing.

So the kid has a bat with him. And we're like, what the fuck's this guy going to do? He's got a bat with him. And he walks through the door. He opens the fucking door. You know, you could actually see him walking in. He closes the door. And you could see him approaching like three or four guys that are in there.

We're like, what the fuck is he doing? and I'll send you here. You just hear a fucking, like you could fucking hear it, like a bang. And all of a sudden our buddy comes out of the taxi stand holding on to his head. And he's like fucking bleeding. You know, not a lot. He's just bleeding a little bit. But you could see his little fucking discombobulated.

And he's like, help, help. My friend goes to him. Who hit you, Mickey Mantle? Because he was fucking bleeding from the head and shit. I reminded him of this on Saturday. and he just went fucking pale. He didn't like it too much. He didn't like the memory being brought up.

But hey, when I said it to him, the joke just went flat. I remember when you got hit in the head with the bat, and Roger asked you, you, Mickey Mantle? And he's like, I don't know. It fucking happened, cock second. But anyway, what I want to, just to open up a little something for you guys, just to get you going, just to see what I got to deal with on the fucking weekends. I got to see these people now and retrace the fucking,

No, he's like, I don't remember. Anyway, fucking, the beauty of it is, I wanted to talk to you guys about something. You know, Dad was looking at my daughter, you know. And we're having a good time here. We really are. She's got new friends. She goes to kickboxing. She does all this shit.

She had a great time in camp. Friday I went to, she told me Thursday night at the fucking Greece movie. She goes, Dad, one of the counselors there, he really likes you. in one of the movies or some shit, can you come in and say hello to him? I'm like, well, absolutely. You know, it's the last day of camp. I didn't want to, I've been to the camp before.

I just never went in there because I didn't want them to go, oh, that's her dad, you know, whatever. She's having a great summer on her own. She won a fuck another medal on Friday for some athletic award. You know, she's having all that shit on her own. I didn't want to go in there and them go,

oh, that's Uncle Joey's daughter. I didn't want that. So I didn't go in there. I just wanted to see what she would do on her own merit. And she did fucking great. You know, pictures. They had a fucking carnival last week. This was a hell of a fucking camp.

Big pool. A couple fucking pools. Field houses. They don't have to bring lunch. My wife didn't have to make lunch all summer. She was ecstatic about that. They had ice cream bars. You know, it's all about the fucking kids here.

And that wasn't even the really good camp. That was like a median camp. Frog's neck is like where they fucking smoke cigarettes. And they have pee parties. and shit and crumpets. It's fucking amazing. You could go from a basic camp here where it's just them playing on fucking

on concrete to like camps with wraps and they take them helicopter rides. I didn't want to do all that. I just wanted to swimming and doing athletics. They play every game there in the world. Every fucking day. With football, basketball.

She learned how to throw a football. We're outside throwing a fucking football. It's a great little fucking camp. So I go in and I know my daughter. I'm like, she's going to be fucking, she's so emotional. She fucking fell in love with one of the counselors or whatever. I know

my daughter. I just know her. So, yes, Friday at 4, my wife goes, I'm going to pick her up. Are you coming? I go, absolutely. In fact, I went in the shower and got all duded up. That's the type of motherfucker I am. When I came out of shower, I was yelling for my wife and she's not answering. I'm like, she fucking

left without me. I came out. She was on the couch. We went down there Fucking beautiful camp trees everywhere You know I didn't say anything to anybody When you walk in you got to put your mask on So I guess people couldn't tell Whatever so I walked in

And I went over the way We have to get her And sure enough She was one of the girl counselors The girl counselor was crying Mercy was crying It was fucking tremendous Mercy's like I don't want to go

Then we had to get the girl's number We're going to use her as a babysitter but as we were walking out, the guy that runs the camp goes, Uncle Joey, and I look at him, he goes, how you doing? My name is John. I run the camp.

Your daughter was great this summer. We didn't know until this week that she was your daughter. We started laughing her asses off. Great fucking people, you know, and she was a little upset. We got her a little slice of pizza that motherfuckering Carlos.

And then we went to the fucking bonfire thing. But I was looking at her, you know, and I'm like, wow. She's a way different kid than I was at that age. At eight, I already knew about fucking blow jobs and fucking people getting stabbed. I saw my stepfather shooter guy and fucking a Santa Ria party. My daughter doesn't have any of that. I mean, and that's how I like it.

You know, the other day, some guy hit me up. You know, Joey, we're not saying that we don't like what you're doing, but, you know, you should fucking smoke during the hour of the week and just so we could smoke, listen. guys listen listen listen i told you once i told you a thousand times my daughter lives in this house i didn't get a studio because what's going on in the world right now and time will get one but for right now i can't smoke in this house this is her house and i can't disrespect her and if you need to watch a podcast or you need to see an album of the week on patreon with me smoking because you feel like we're

smoking together i think it's time for you to put a white jacket on and go get some fucking help Do you think when I look at Snoop Dog smoking? I'm like, oh, I'm smoking with Snoop Dog. That's a problem, guy. That's a craziness type shit. That's never going to fucking happen. Get it together. I got a thousand videos on fucking YouTube of me smoking.

That was the past. This is the fucking present. And this is why I do it, because I don't want her to ever come to me and go, what's that smell? I've smelled that before in the house. This is her house. So I got to give it to her. You know what I'm saying? I live here.

That's it, but it's her fucking house. I live here and I pay the bills, but it's her fucking house. So you got to understand what the fuck I'm coming from. So I'm looking out of the other day, and I'm like, what is she, you know, I mean, she's, she's great. I'm really happy that she didn't have to go through what I went through as a kid. I'm really happy. Like, I got friends that call me, hey, we want to invite you to this restaurant. Fuck you.

There's no kids there and there's alcohol. I don't want to see my daughter drinking fucking people drinking fucking alcohol acting like jerk off. It's not what I want to do. Because that's what I did as a child. I was in a fucking ball looking at it. And they were irritating the fuck out of me back then when I was in fucking 10. So you can't imagine what they're doing that. I don't want to be in a fucking ball.

I haven't wanted to be in a bar since 1980 fucking four. So I was looking at it. I'm like, you know what's crazy about her? She doesn't have the fear that I had. I had fear when I was a kid. I wasn't a tough, strong kid when I was her age. I had fear ever since the time. I'm left from New York City.

The other day on Instagram, I posted a picture of my mother's house. It was for sale in 2018, and I was in the neighborhood. I went to bring flowers at the cemetery. And I went by the house like I always do the check on it, and it was for sale. I took a picture of the fucking thing to send it to my wife. And then me and my wife were talking. When I got back to California, she's like, do you want to buy it? I'm like, they want 365 for it, and you're going to have to sink two or 300,000 in there

just to modernize it. just so the house could be in 2021. The house is still 1960 fucking 8, you know, if you're seen it. So we just said, no, I don't want to live there. But I thought about it afterward. Let me tell you something. From the age of 10 to the age of 16, I was never settled in that house.

I don't know if you've ever lived in a house that you won't settle in. All I remember is waking up one day on, you know, fucking Riverside Drive and 89th Street overlooking the Hudson River. river. That's why I first remember living. And then after about six months, the apartment got raided one day for numbers. And my mother thought the apartment was spooked. So we moved to 205 West 88th Street. And I lived at 205 West 88th Street since I was five until I was 10 years old with no fucking problems at all. I loved living there. I watched fucking scary movies. They never affected me. I watched the Exorcist at 10. Never affected me. I think I slept with

lights on for a few weeks but it never really i could deal with all that shit when i moved to 3515 given that terrace something happened to me as soon as i walked in that fucking house something did not feel right i usually based my life on energies if i don't feel right doing something i won't do it again and it all started with that fucking house that house had a creepy fucking effect to it we moved in that house in May of 73, probably two or three weeks after I beat up Sister Heissent, that Sacred Heart School for boys. It was probably right around that time that my mom got the house in Jersey and that's when we decided we're not going to go to that school no more.

I had chicken pox that week. The Mets were playing the fucking, uh, the Cincinnati Reds. I actually went to the MEC game with the fucking chicken pox. I just put makeup over my fucking little pimples. on my head and I went to the game. I saw fucking Pete Rose beat up Butter Harrowson. I went to two games. It was two home games.

But I still remember moving to that house. I didn't like it. I didn't like the kids outside. I didn't like the house. I didn't like the fucking yard. It was an above the ground pool. I wasn't crazy about. But that wasn't what was.

I wasn't crazy about of that house. The energy inside the house was not fucking me at all. You know, at first when we moved in, you know, you have the yard. You don't have a yard living in New York system. You know, the attraction was the yard. You know, I would go out to the yard and jump in the fucking pool.

It was summertime, and we moved in, it was like April, May. So shortly after the pool opened and we could swim and shit. You know, I put up a basketball court, but the ground back there was pavers. It was like 18-inch pavers. certain they weren't connected. So when you dribble the ball, the ball would fucking go everywhere else because it wasn't the ground.

It was pavis. But again, that's not the reason what made me, the first probably eight weeks was great in that house. And there was one, two bedrooms with a closet room and a bathroom on the second floor. And then there was a third floor attic that was refinished and it was beautiful. It was cool as fuck.

They had like paintings on the wall Like a big brush went around the fucking wall And they crisscrossed I think the room was yellow They had a great window Fucking strong as fuck air conditioner The closet was a walking closet in the attic And over on the side

There was like a stand for shoes Well I took that apart and shit I took that far I lifted the fucking thing I busted it all And I discovered like a little hiding space I used to actually go in there as a little kid put the cover and make believe like there was a,

that war was ending. And I was downstairs in the basement drinking like tang and shit. I swear to fucking God, when you're a single child, you have a tremendous imagination. So I would go in there, the whole thing. It was great. It was a little paradise up in my fucking attic. But shortly after I moved in there,

I started hearing shit. I just started hearing shit. You know, I just, something wasn't right about that fucking house and I still remember being like Mercy's age and one night before I went to this was after I was already

like I had gone to Catholic school for third grade to Sacred Heart School for boys and that was a boarding school where you went to all fucking week and then you came back Thursday Friday Saturday so I'll never forget one of my first weekends at boarding

school. I came home. You know, everything was great. Went to the bar, probably went to a movie. My mom brought me home at three with my stepdad. We sat downstairs and bullshit it for a while. I went up to the fucking attic. And my parents went to bed. My mom went to bed. And at some point in the night, I can't tell you what I felt. I felt like somebody had grabbed my leg or I pulled on my leg. It was the weirdest fucking feeling. I know, Joey, you're fucking crazy. I'll tell you what I felt. You know, I felt something. I felt something and when I turned to see what it was, I kind of was alarmed and I made like a noise like, like, ah, like something like that. And I just saw something and heard something. And here's the crazy thing that after it went down,

my mother and stepfather came out of their room to ask what just happened. We heard something really weird. I go, I don't know. I was half fucking asleep, and I felt something grabbed my fucking leg. And when I turned, I was startled. I made like a noise. They heard the noise, but they also heard the stairs, like

something was wrong with the stairs. Like, somebody had gone down the stairs. So they're like, what the fuck was that? You know, and I'm like, I don't know. But whatever the fuck it is, I'm not staying up here no more. And they're like, you got to stamp down. That's the night that Juan gave me his gun with a silencer. And he goes,

sleep with this and if you see a ghost just shoot it and I'm like okay like I was like okay I'm like there was no fuck I don't know what it guys I don't know what it was but there was an energy in that house that just didn't fucking feel right and I went away to captive school I came back on the weekends you know I would stay there I would stay at my godmother's house I would always stay at different places on the weekends so I didn't have to deal whatever was in that house anymore until I got thrown out Catholic school. Then I had a deal with whatever was in that fucking house. Once I got thrown out of Catholic school, I went back, I signed up in McKinley,

the Balzano's fucking calm mind beat up Bernie Robbins' father. Once I was in the neighborhood, I was very happy. But something happened right in the beginning of the sixth grade. Again, by this time, I was, I transferred all my clothes. everything as I was getting older when I got back from Catholic school, I took the room next to my mothers. I felt a little safer. I said, whatever happened in the third grade happened, you know, whatever. Maybe, I don't know. Maybe I had one, two fucking many blueberry brandies at the bar because I would sneak them when I was like eight or nine. Who the fuck knows? You know, I'm not here

to fucking say that there's a ghost or whatever, but we'll give it another try. We'll give it another fucking try. I'm a little bigger now. I can handle myself now. I can handle myself now. I'm a little stronger. You know, I just beat the fuck out of a nun. I'm ready to take over the fucking world here. So we transferred into McKinley. I think I was in McKinley. I think a month elapsed.

In those days, I would play, whatever the fuck I was doing from three to six, three to seven. And then about seven, I'd go up to my mom's bar. I go to the New Moon Chinese restaurant on 29th and Burger Line. I eat dinner, whatever the fuck, or Cuban food or a sandwich from Hernandez. And then I would walk home. I would walk down the hill and go to giving out terrace and I'd go home.

My mother would stay at the ball. My stepfather would stay at the bar. And I'd basically be alone until 3 in the fucking morning. No big deal. I was 11. I was a big boy. I could fucking handle it. I think after a month,

every time I would fucking turn the lights off in my room and turn the TV off. I would hear this bullshit on the fucking stairs. People coming up. It was an old house. I mean, it wasn't that old of a house. If it was 1973, when we moved in, I think the house got built in 53, 54 or something like that. After the orphanage fire, I'm giving that terrace.

So I really don't know how old it was, but man, at night, once I'd put my fucking pillow down, I'd put my head on my pillow. It was like there was a fucking party in my house. I would hear people going up and down the stairs, shit coming from the attic. I would have to call my mother. I think one night I called the fucking cops.

The cops came and after about a week of that shit, I was like, fuck this. I'm not living here no more. So I started in the sixth grade, I moved out of my house. I don't know if you guys even heard this fucking story. In the sixth grade, I pretty basically moved out of my house

and I'd had two different places I'd stay at. I'd stay at 26. Central at my friend Evers' house. My buddy Jose Torres his mother had a house on 26th and Central, 2614 Central Avenue and I'd stay

there. There was a, his sister lived there, Lucy, his sister Ellie lived there. Me and Lucy were tight in the mornings I wake up and go get a fucking bag of Zeppelis. I'd go get a stick of fucking Italian bread and a whole stick of hotel bar butter and a 32-ounce Coca-Cola and I'd like, I'd bring it back over there,

me and Lucy would eat the fucking whole bag of fucking bread, and I'd eat the Zeppelis on the way to McKinley. I had a fucking system, Jack. I was on. I was on fire up there in Union City. And I loved it. I would only go home after school to get closed for the next day. And I would go to karate, do my whole life,

go to my mom's bar, but I would end up on 26th Street, or I would stay on 22nd and Central by my friend, my cousin, Julio Rodriguez. because he owns Anaconda Jiu-Jitsu in North Bergen and West New York. If you're looking for a jiu-jitsu school, I might as well give him a plug. He's a good dude. He's a great fucking teacher.

He's a Higin Machado black belt. But I'd stay with him. And his mom, Awilda, and his brother, Gillo, fucking, you know, so I would walk to North Bergen from 22nd Street. I did not like that fucking house at all. My mom would beg me to come back. I would still see my mom. And I'd still see my stepfather was still part of their life. But when it came to sleep, I just would not fucking go down there.

It took me, I didn't move back into 35, 15, till maybe middle of seventh grade the year I got left back. So I moved out of my fucking house basically for a year and a fucking half. And then I got a girlfriend in North Bergen and it's tough to tell your girlfriend that you're scared of sleeping in your fucking house. house when you're in the seventh grade because you look like a pussy. So I started living there again. Sometimes during the week I would sleep out and Chuckie McBreen's house or something, you know, or one of my other friend's house, Whitey's house, or Mario Diaz's house, or Anthony Balzano's house.

If things got too dange at night, I would fucking, you know, little by little, it was like I was, you know, just working myself back into the fucking house. but I always thought that house and that neighborhood were fucking creepy as fuck. And if I go down there now, I spoke about it a couple weeks ago on here. When you go down there now, just the neighborhood is dead. And it bothered me for years. Like, I didn't know what the fuck was going on there. I used to put a glass of water.

I used to put earplugs in at night. So I wouldn't hear the fucking haunting, as I called it. It was just a fucking haunting. happened when you went back? Oh, yeah, it was going on, but not. I think I was sleeping heavier, and I wasn't really dealing with it. I would put earplugs on, you know,

so I went back the year I got left back. You know, once I started giving my mom a problem at school, like there was a teacher called her in one time, so she was like enough with sleeping out. You got to start sleeping back in your house. What did I pay for this fucking house for? And I was petrified of that fucking house. You know,

So many weird fucking things happening in that house. Like, I think the weirdest thing that I ever saw was the night the chick knocked on my door beat up. Like, that's never happened in my life again. I've been in fucking horrible situations and horrible places. But at the age of 12 for a woman who's barely fucking had clothes on, her husband ripped her clothes off, and she had blood coming from everywhere and knocked on the door, that's just a spooky fucking thing like it took me a while

like I'm like this fucking neighbor never stops this chick just knocked on my fucking door you know bleeding and as we opened the door we had to rush her in and her husband was running up the block with a fucking knife and my stepdad had to get a fucking gun

to wave the guy down this is my life in fucking the seventh grade you know it was fucking crazy and then my mother ended up letting some friend of hers Tati a great, he was a great friend. I loved him with all my heart. You know, do some Santa Ria shit in there

and the house really went to shit. Then my mother and stepfather broke up. My mother hit him in the head with a fucking saint like a statue of the virgin marriage. Just hit him in the head when he was sleeping. He got up. There was blood everywhere. I mean, the things that happened in that fucking house.

Another night, I was a sophomore in high school, maybe two weeks before my mother died. We almost lit that house on fire one night. I mean, there was almost a fucking battle in that house. We were in the fucking house. My mother was in Florida selling her property down there. She had this property on MIA, on Miami International Airport. I don't even know what happened with that shit.

But anyway, we were having, I said, my mom's gone. I'm starting to get popular. Let me have a fucking party at my fucking house. So I got like a keg, you know, we did the right thing. I had a downstairs, I had a garage. You know, I had a sub-basement. I had a garage, and I had the living room. I could have everybody up there.

My living room was a little creepy because I had the six-foot saint in the living room of St. Lazaro, and I had, you know, it was just a fucking creepy living room. But I could contain them in the garage and downstairs in the basement. These girls fucking showed up. And this one girl in particular was a little fucking loose. You know what I'm talking about? And we're fucking sophomores, and this girl's a senior.

And my one buddy, well, was telling you about a couple of weeks ago, Louis had a thing going with that girl. She was like a senior, you know? So we were sophomores. I knew Louis since the seventh grade in McKinley. He was my boy. You know, I was telling you this story a couple weeks ago.

So Louis takes the girl upstairs to my attic. And my other friend, Steve, has got a girl in my bedroom. I don't give a fuck. As long as I don't go in my mom's bedroom, I locked my mom's door. I'm stinting downstairs in the kitchen talking with this kid Chris that we used to call the Red Devil

and these other guys, eggs and all these other guys. And we're just having a conversation. Nobody else knew, besides Chris, that my man Louis was upstairs with the girl and my other man, Steve, was upstairs with a different girl.

Nobody fucking knew. Me and Chris knew. We're sitting down. It's probably 1230 at night. The party cleared out. We're just talking shit. I don't even think we're high. And all of a sudden I hear somebody coming up the garage stairs.

And this is kid Eddie with another kid and two other fucking gorillas. And the kid Eddie, his girlfriend, was the chick upstairs of Louis. And you could start, you know, the other guy, it was a great built house. It was a fucking solid fucking house. I used to jump off. There was two sets of stairs. I used to jump off the fucking stairs down to the floor. that fucking floor stayed tip-top Magoo, the way it was forever.

I had been jumping off that fucking thing since I was 10. My mother would tell me, stop. One day you're going to go through the fucking floor. I didn't give a fuck. I would jump off there, jump off there, jump off there. So we're sitting in the fucking in the kitchen. It was a dining area. There was a dining area.

Then there was a living room. And then there was like fucking TV and all this shit. Big downstairs. We're just sitting there talking shit. And the saint is right here. San Lazaro's saint is right here. he's six foot five he's got crutches and shit real crutches so one thing leads to another and eddie and his buddies come up and they're like we're looking for this girl and we're like i have no idea where the

fuck she's at you know she was here earlier but she laughed out you know and he goes no no no no no she's here you know she's got to be here we're like dog we're the only one's here you hear anybody fucking else and the kid's like well then you won't mind me looking around and I go that's not going to happen this is my mother's house and that's not going to fucking happen

and the kid's like yeah it is going to fucking happen and as he started walking towards me Chris was a fucking animal this kid was a fucking street urchin he fucking took one of the crutches from St. Lazaro like a fucking

five foot crutch and he goes if you take another step I'm going to break this over your fucking head I'm like holy shit this is going to go down in my living room because he had three guerrillas with him and he goes if you go past this I'm going to break this over your head

and then I got up and took the other fucking cast and I go looks like you're going to get hit in the head twice and every other guy that was in that kitchen with me that night I forget their names I'll tell you what We were going to take these motherfuckers down right in that thing. This is going to turn into Goodfellas when they're kicking poor fucking Bobby Bats and all that shit. This is just going to turn into it.

This was not good. And now I start to hear the bed upstairs. The wak-wack-wack-wack-wrack-wrack-wrack-and. Everybody's like looking around and we're like, ha-ha-ha. Like making noises and shit. And we're like, you're not going to fucking pass this. So we're going to hit you in a fucking head with the fucking crutch. the kid sat there he's like i don't know what the fuck he goes you you guys are tough guys tonight

what if we came down here with more people then we'll make a fucking call and we'll get more fucking people you're not coming in your house my house listen to what you're saying you're saying that you want to walk in my house and search it you know who the fuck are you you know and now i was a little scared of this guy eddie and his fucking friends but at that point i wasn't scared anymore who the fuck you know once you're right you're right who the fuck of you to come in my fucking house get the fuck out of here We just told him, get the fuck out. Get the fuck out.

It will break your fucking head. And Chris led the fucking charge. Till this day, I still love him. I don't know where he is. I see him on Facebook. My friend, he was a red-headed kid, so my friend used to call him the red devil. So we fucking, they left, and we were like,

whoo, that was a fucking close one. You know, Monday, we had a deal with shit. I think the kid said something to me at school Monday, that he was keeping eye on me, but we never even discussed it again. It moved on, but that, was how crazy that fucking house was. And then, after my stepdad left the fucking house,

the house just had this feeling that, even when my stepdad lived in it, have you ever listened to the end of Pink Floyd dogs when he goes, you were a stranger at home, you know, and all that shit? That's what I felt like. After 1978, right before I graduated high school, we didn't really have a home. It was just three people living together.

As much as I love my mom and my mom loved me, I don't want you to get me wrong. We loved each other, but we were three people that were living, doing our own thing, and we weren't even eating dinner. I was eating dinner at the fucking bar. So once my stepfather left, and my mom let Dati do the fucking thing there,

a house really went to shit. You know, a house went to fucking shit. My mom was gambling. The house was just a bad luck house. You ever have that where you're just like, This is, I don't know. The house just wasn't one of my favorites. You know, when I moved into this house, I'm like,

this has the spirit that that house had. No, it doesn't. Not even fucking close. That house was just dark. It was dark even when you had the lights on. Is that a good way of explaining it to you? Like, when I think back to going in and out of that house, I see it in black and white.

Like I see the rest of my life in color. But I see that in black and white. That's why I didn't fucking like that fucking place. And the kill, like, I always knew something wasn't right. Like, I always knew something wasn't right. I didn't know that that house wasn't going to end the right way. Like, I would love to tell you I knew. But I just knew that house was just not right.

And there were two things that finally cemented that, fucking house wasn't right. The night I came around the corner and found my mother on the fucking floor with bruises on her arm and she was dead as disco and I'm in, you know, when you find somebody dead in the house in that house, the for sale sign goes up the next day. There's no reason to stay there. There's no reason. There was a debt in that house.

You know, it's like the judge that got shot. A husband and kid got shot. in East Brunswick last year, you know, they sold the house. You can't live in a house with death in it. You know, pick up the floor,

take all the blood out of the fucking house, you know, redo it so there's no blood in the house. Not like you're wiping up the floor with blood. You're not leaving blood on the floor. You're taking up the wood. You're taking up everything. And you get, and then redo a new fucking house. My friend, his sister-in-law,

killed herself in the house on Christmas Day. That fucking house was the same. Hell New Year's Day. I mean, you just don't stay there. Once I found my mother on the floor, it was confirmed to me that I didn't have a solid fucking house. But this is where it gets even weirder for you.

Are you ready for this? My mother fucking dies. We take it to the funeral, Paul, you know, the whole thing. We're about to do the week of, the wake and shit we're all at the house eating dinner

whatever we're eating like a snack after we identified the body or whatever I don't know particular what day this came but it did happen we were all sitting in the living room my mother was dead

and I was feeling fucking jaded I was confirmed that this house where I lived at was fucking spooked I just found my mother on the floor and there's a knock on the fucking door they all look at me you're gonna answer

I guess I'm going to fucking answer it. So I go over to the door. I answer and it's this nice white couple. And she's like, oh, how are you doing? We didn't mean to bother you. Were you guys doing something? I go, no, no, what's going on? And I never saw this woman before.

I never saw this man before. And they just started telling me that they lived in the neighborhood. And they, that the people who lived, they wanted to see who moved into the house because they knew the people who lived there previously, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, look, and I'm not, you know, I don't know what this lady's talking about.

And she's like, we used to live on the block and we became friends with the people who lived here. And you've done such a nice job with the house, the front of the house. You know, my mom fixed it when we got in. She put the bushes in and all this shit. And she goes, you know, ladies like, whoever lives here did a great job with the house. We loved the windows. Oh, my God. We knew the previous owner, rest of soul.

And I'm like, rest of soul. what are you fucking talking about and a lady goes you didn't know I don't know anything I'm just a fucking 16 year old kid what do I know and she goes well we lived here

from the 60s and the owner here was a nice guy and he had a nice family but one day they found them in the garage he fucking killed himself and it was like fucking like the twilight zone

I was like, I fucking knew it. I knew this fucking house was fucking haunted. And the lady was like, yeah, he killed himself in the garage. He didn't hang himself. He closed the garage door and left the exhaust on. And, you know, that's how he fucking died. And I'm like, holy shit. We talked for a little while.

And then she went off the porch. And all my beliefs have been. confirmed. I knew there was something weird in that fucking house. You know, I hate to say it was a haunted house, but there was something beside me in that fucking house. And it was not happy. It wasn't a happy house. Like when I walk in here, I'm smiling and shit. That house didn't bring the happiness out of you. It brought, uh, I don't know, it brought like this fucking confusion over my life. That's what it did. And ever since I moved out of the house, I've never, ever, ever, ever experience that again or fear like in that that way.

Like I would take showers and the door open, you know, it was, it got to me. The fear, the real fear, like there was something dark in that house and that day it was, you know, I was happy that I knew it. My mother didn't, she didn't believe me. This house can't be fucking haunted. I'm like, listen, man. And I saw something when I was a kid one time. When I was a kid like four in Manhattan, we lived on, when we lived on Riverside Drive, the hallway of the kitchen, the kitchen, like if you look out the kitchen, you know, it was, you could see a window over there, a window over there, and a window over there, and, you know, whatever.

One night, anyway, you're going to think I'm crazy. I was not getting high when I was four years old, so I don't want you to go, Joey, you were fucking high. but one night I heard like a guy in the hallway outside the kitchen I remember looking out and seeing like a shadow and telling my mom my mom was like they couldn't have been it was impossible but I saw something and I remember my mom looking at me weird

and looking out the window and going yeah maybe you did fucking you know I don't know for sure I don't know how I felt back then but I remember that I felt something sort of like I felt when I moved into 3515, given out terrorist.

And then to make it all fucking come together and I could invite you guys to look it up to, if you, you know, I've told you to look up to Superman a Cuban, it's a long read. In that same vein, there's an article if you Google it on the Givenad Terrorist Mysteries.

It's called something like that. Givenat Terrace, Lower North Bergen, you could find, if you Google it, I'm going to try to Google it today and put it up on Twitter and Patreon whatever for you guys. And it's an article about that area down there. That there was an orphanage on Givenat Terrace.

It was called Mary Givenard. That was the fucking name. She had the orphanage and there was a fire one night and all those kids were killed. In fact, if you went up the woods on Givenett Terrace, you still saw the foundation of the orphanage. And the wall was black from the fucking fire. Just look up giving that orphanage fire and it'll give you all.

I mean, it is just, it's like 30, 40 minute read about that area and how haunted it fucking is. I'm telling you guys, that fucking area is haunted. I sit here. I stand here and I tell you that I have never felt that oaky or creepy before in my life. That whole area down there from walking past that cemetery. Terry, I'll tell you two stories, then we'll wrap it up. They say that there have been witnesses. And I heard that when I lived down there,

that there was a lady that would walk on Union Turnpike or Liberty Avenue. They said a lot of people saw dressed like with lace and walking with a candle. Did I see you? No, because I wouldn't be here right now. I'd be in Guatemala fucking hiding if I saw like a lady walking. they say you see it like fucking gliding and if you read the article you'll go Joey okay it's not you

there's like 20 eyewitnesses that have seen that lady walking around and they say that it's Mary Givinard that's walking around but then it takes you back to 19 like 30 or something this is the spookiest fucking story ever

that cemetery where my mother's buried It's called the Weehawken Cemetery. It's been there since Jesus left Chicago. It's been there for a long fucking time. I told you, not that cemetery, but there's another cemetery that blends into Wehawken that I took a shit in the night that Freddie Prince got fucking, that died, that I never forget when I was shitting on it.

The only reason why I shit on the body, you know me, I'm a fucking Catholic and I respect spirits. But that motherfucker died like in 1830. There was nothing left in that box. In fact, this tombstone was like bent over and it was rugged looking And all the tombstones in the area were like crosses That the fucking cross had been taken down Like there was just a stick

It was 100 fucking 50 years old at the fucking time But that cemetery has been there for such a long time And that same Mary giving out article You'll read a story about Across the street from that fucking cemetery There was a row of houses There still is And one night, Rock started

they're coming out of that cemetery and breaking all the windows on that hill going down. So the neighbors came out to see what the fuck was going on. And then we're getting hit with rocks and shit. So they all called the police. And the police fucking circled the cemetery. Circled it like a police fucking thing. Because I think it was after three nights they kept throwing rocks. They circled the cemetery and they went through that cemetery inch by inch.

and they never found the fucking thing. That was the same cemetery. I was going to jump. I did jump the fence and tried to fucking unburied my mom, New Year's Eve, 79. But that's a different podcast. We'll get to that some other time. But it all has it on there. So if you look up Mary Givinard Terrace Orphanage, if you Google it, you'll come upon that article

and you'll read it and you'll see that the shit on. I'm telling you is not fucking bullshit. I felt it in my fucking soul. It was a creepy fucking feeling, and I never want to feel it again. And that's what my daughter will never fucking have. That creepy, scary feeling. I never got there anywhere else.

I never got it at my mother's bar. I never got it at other people's homes. I just got it when I walked in that fucking house. When I walked on that block, it felt weird. And over the years, I've heard other things that have come. come out on that, you know, Charles Court. It was just, the orphanage was on both streets. So, and there's people that lived in the last house.

I have a friend that's named Grace. She lives in Tunkerton, New Jersey. Her house is on the top of giving that terrace. And her mother lived there and her grandmother lived there. And she told me once, after my mother died, we were talking about this same story. and she said that the people that owned her house said that for years after the fire at the orphanage that at night they would hear kids yelling from back there

like kids that were 8, 9, 7 yelling from the orphanage so that shit ran through the neighborhood for fucking years, you know. I wanted to tell you this story because I put the picture up on Instagram, my mother's house and a lot of people wondered why I'd put it up, I had put it up to tell you this story. So if you go to my Instagram, Matt Flavors world, you could see the house.

It doesn't look haunted. It just looks like a regular house. But when I look at it now, it looks like a fucking house that's spooky. And the thing that scares me the most about this fucking house is that I called it. I just did not know that it was going to scare. It's funny because the people who bought the house,

there used to be a bathroom window next to the door. So if you rang the doorbell, my mom could look out the bathroom window. And if it was Jehovah Witnesses, she would get hot water and lower the upper window and throw hot water to Jehovah Witnesses. But they put bricks up on that window, obviously, whoever bought the house, put bricks up. They fucked up the bushes that my mother put in there. The bushes that are missing, if you go to Instagram and look the bushes that are missing where the bushes were one used to hide his grids.

gun and this fucking knife outside. That's my podcast for today. That's Uncle Joey's joint. I just wanted to get that story out of the way because I put the house. I put the house up. I put a picture of my cat up. And I put a picture, two slices of Roma pizza. And the house got like a thousand fucking comments.

And I'm like, what the fuck? And everybody wants me to buy the house, turn it into a dispensary. Let me tell you something. I thought about buying that house. And I was like, there's no way. way this is happening. Not, I thought about it for like a day. I'm like, I could live in North Bergen.

You know, I could fucking get that house. It could be modern as fuck. But I said, no, no, no, no. Because whatever lives in the house, I guarantee it's still fucking there. And that's my podcast for the week. That's Uncle Joey's joint. I hope you enjoyed this little Monday morning,

little fucking positive story about haunted homes. And that's it. Laughing Gas is still in fucking stuff. It's back in stock last week. It's selling off the fucking shelves. Get there. The big launch comes. And what Joe told me was,

this batch they got on Friday is better than the original fucking bats they had last month. It's going to get stronger and stronger. So if you're in the California area, stop by motherfucking ice cream shop and pick up laughing ass or any other one of the Ziki fucking products that tickles your fucking fancy. I got no dates. I got nothing coming up except the Sopranos on October 1st. Every day we're getting closer to the release of this movie.

I'm watching the episodes of my wife as many as we can at night. We try to watch one a night. We're on season three. It is what it is. I love you motherfuckers with all my heart. I'll be out of town this week taping. Stay black. And I'll be back next Monday, the 30th of motherfucking August.

No, we'll be back Wednesday. What are we fucking? talking to man we got a guest for you too cock suckers stay black and now for a word from my motherfucking sponsors all right i want to thank you guys for watching the show today i hope you got entertained by my spooky fucking story i've been dying to tell you this story for a few weeks now that i put the picture up over easy but real quick i want to talk to you a word from our sponsors the join is brought to you by on it let me tell you something i've been on it for 10 years maybe I love their products from the Shroom Tech, the Shroom Tech immune,

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