The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - 09/23/2012 - The Church of What's Happening Now #9

Episode Date: September 24, 2012

Joey and Lee talk about UFC 152, the NFL games, and more childhood stories. Joey's friend, who also happens to be named Joey, calls in to talk about growing up in North Bergen and Joey Diaz' best friend and the other Joey's cousin,  Darren. You won't want to miss this conversation. Recorded live on 09/23/2012

Broking glass everywhere. People pissing on the stage. You know they just don't care. I can't take the smell. Can't take the noise. Got no money to move out. I guess I got no. Oh shit.

We keep the music, brother. Come on. It's Sunday. The church is in full fucking effect. Joey Cocoa Diaz, Lee Syatt, aka the flying Jew, ready to fucking bring it to you,

motherfucker. On a beautiful Sunday morning in Southern California and in your fucking living room or bedroom. Put your cock away. It's the church. Church of what's happening now, cocksucker.

I got Grandmaster, the motherfucking flash, delivering the message first. Then we're going to deliver the message after that. Thank you very much. And checking in on the Lord's Day from fucking Tuscaloosa to New Jersey. Lee, the music. Fuck it.

Oh shit. The flying Jews in full effect. Lee, put the fucking soda down. There's going to be an earthquake. You're going to electrocute all of us. It's going to be fucking Jew on fire. I have to drink Tony Scott back and fucking, you know what I'm saying? Jesus. We're here on a fucking Sunday.

last night. This morning, we got the NFL football. Tony Scott. You like that Tony Scott. I won't be working for him anytime soon. Anybody. Everybody's going to fucking be mad at me for that one. We're here. Great fucking car last night. People still talking about John Jones

fucking elbow. We're talking about Evan Dunham's head. We're talking about Bill Buffer's little fucking Sinatra jacket on. Somebody's going to have to stab him eventually. I love I love Buffer, fucking. I love Buffer the death with the flying six points. But that jacket last night.

At least fucking light a joint in there if you're gonna smoke a cigar. He's walking around with a purple fucking jacket on like Puerto Ricans are watching. You're in Toronto, cocksucker. And then you had my man Michael Bisming, great fight there. I got Brian Stan always a fucking gray fighter. I like Bisbing.

I picked Bisbing. I also had Benavides to beat up Demetris Johnson. I was wrong on that one. Fucking Demet, you know, he came out with that Latin blood. Yeah. The brother sat back. It's like a jungle sometimes. It makes me wonder how I keep from going under. You're following me?

Lee, what are you coming over here smoking dope with me for? I told you to stop that shit. Smoking joints and vapors. I can't stop it, man. How you doing, buddy? How was your week? I'm doing great.

I had a great night last night. I was in the Fat Man's Paradise. I wouldn't... Because I've been working six day weeks, and last night was my first night off in like a month and a half. So I went to my friend's house, and he made homemade wings,

homemade french fries, and homemade blue cheese sauce. And he made about three pounds of wings. And it's not like, oh, I'm going to buy wings. He takes the chicken, he cuts the wings, he brines the chicken. from? He's from North Carolina. I love

that motherfucker already. Old school. Yeah. He fries it and then he like triple fries and fries or whatever so they're crispy on the outside and he... Is he fat? No, he's fucking really, he's super skinny which is pissing me off. I love it, I love it. But he texted me, he said, I'm going to homemake blue cheese

for you and I like, and I like almost ran over there immediately, but oh it was so good. Did you get your dick sucked at the end of the night? No, it's all guys. That's the problem right there. You didn't get your fucking muffled like, you know what I'm saying? Oh, after those wings, I don't know if I was... Get a little hook to the fucking suck your mink

and then you fart in her face, you know? Give her an extra 20 to fart in her fucking face. What was the last time you fart the hooker's face, Leever? You don't know what you're fucking missing. Anyway, so you had a good time with your gumbas last night? Yeah, that was a lot of fun. Let's give a shout out to the fucking main man, your father down in Florida.

Last time we gave him a pot cookie, took him 19 hours to get home, and it was only a 20-minute ride. You got to call the cops on himself, like, Brian Redband. I call the cops on my house. myself one night, a couple nights, I got all coked up. Oh, really? Oh, my God, like an 80 fucking 6

in Aspen, Colorado, I got coked up to the gills one night solo, and I kept calling the cops on myself, and they kept saying, Joey, what the fuck? You gotta get out of the bag, dog. Jesus. And that's what they said then, now they'd come in and arrest you because there's stories about that, about people getting too high or on whatever and calling the cops. Yeah, now they're a bunch of fucking momos. They won't

on the old days, they come over, Joey, what's the problem? Let me hold the bag till later. I'll leave you, grandma. I'll bring you back the bag in the morning. That's a real fucking cop right there. Twice they came in one fucking night because they seemed like shit on the wall. So I kept calling the cops. Somebody said, nah.

I was whispering. I had the Coke hidden in the sink. So if somebody came, I would put water on it. I didn't like a house. Holy shit. And that wouldn't ruin it? And that would ruin it. So if the cops came in, I'd just open up the fucking water.

The water hits the sink. And I would put it in the sinkhole. And I got scared that I would hit the button by mistake and it chopped my finger off. And I got a Coke snort with one fucking missing finger all night. Then once I stop getting them, I gotta drive myself to the hospital like a Japanese who fucked up. You know what I'm saying? Oh, Jesus.

Like a yakuzae cuts their fingers off where you don't know about this shit. Anyway, back to the fucking fart. Card, fart, you never again bring that zambore weed over here from fucking divine wellness throwing. And you know what the name of the weed is that we smoke? What? Church. From divine wellness. Right down Lankish and sort of, you're in the neighborhood, stop the divine wellness, get a fucking edible.

They specialize in fucking edibles over there. A lot of people don't know that. Like, you know what? because they're users. They eat the shit. They'll tell you right out. I hate a pill. I see the devil. They're Armenian. They don't even believe in the fucking devil. There was an article. I forget where it was. But in the city, there's been two people this week who have smoked weed with PCP on it.

And they've killed people. Where city? I forget the city. Don't go there. Don't worry. Don't go there. It pisses me off. I'm not even a big smoker. But they always say, oh, well, people do this. And whenever people go crazy, like the guy who made the guy's face, they said it was marijuana.

It's not marijuana. They do. They smoke weed. then they do fucking bath salts or PCP and they go crazy. It's just, it's crazy. I don't even know a bad salt. PCP I did in another way. It was guerrilla biscuits when I was a kid. Or you went to Harlem and they called like Jones Town.

There was like three bucks and you got like a joint. You sprinkled it in your fucking joint. I told the story once I'm being the beast about smoking crack with a pregnant chick. I didn't even though she was pregnant little black chick. Oh yeah, yeah. She wanted to put a bag. I swear to fucking God. I was running numbers on 8 and 118th in Spanish fucking Harlem.

It was 84. I was getting a buck 40 a day and check. Cails crew. Not Chale, Sondon. This is Chale, the fucking Puerto Rico. He's retired now and buy a moment. But I used to go over there. And one day I got over there, they were like, no, we don't need you today.

So I said, fuck it. I'm walking. It's got to be 10 in the morning. I see some fucking black chicks. I didn't even know she was pregnant. She came out of me. I thought I was looking good that day. I thought I wore the right cologne.

She said, hey, you want to split it back? Oh, fuck it. I'll pay for it three bucks. It was like fucking 10. We bought it. We smoked it. It was Jonestown, 20-20, whatever the fuck it was, back juice.

a fucking Jew-free Jews I'm still dying over it. I don't think people heard what you said the Jew on fire. Jew on fire, Tony Scott. Did you take the soda down? You're going to electrocute us Lee. You're fucking killing me.

But as we're fucking smoking it, she pulled it up the belly. She's like, I'm three or four months pregnant, whatever the fuck she was. Oh, Jesus. At that time, I had one for that. At first I didn't think about hooking up with it, but it was one of those afternoons

where you just hang out with a chick and get high, we walked around. I didn't come back for like 10 o'clock at night. Still fucked up on that angel dust. Oh, jeez. So anyway, back to the fucking car last night. You know what's funny? You know what's killing me, guys?

The church, we talk about a lot of weird thing. What the fuck was Rashad Evans going there last night? I was thinking about that. I didn't watch the countdown until last night. I'm like, he's training at Rashad. Rashad Evans is there. I know everything about him. If you know anything about him, he would fucking beat him.

Now you're going to spread your kiss of deck over the poor Vito, who had a fucking shot last night. But then it's like, listen, John Jones is that good. I don't know what happens to these guys. Vito had one shot. Move ahead, throw 85 fucking punches, and let the best thing. He didn't do that. He didn't get to come alive for like the fourth round or whatever the fuck.

But anyway, it was a great fight. Great card. Yeah. Like I predicted. I knew it was going to be great fights. From the Benavides fight to the Stan fight to the Evan Dunham fucking bleeding. Vinnie Magalise. You know, Charlie Brenham, the early stoppins.

I think he was knocked out when he went down. You know when their heads are going fucking. And you don't know with Charlie Brennan because he fights half a fucking who bots anyway. His head's going back and forward. I think it was a cup Swanson fight. It was where he hit him. Oh, my body shot. Yeah.

Yeah. in the head and a little bit he was going to be okay and then he just dropped I've never seen that before Cubs Watson is a fucking killer with those hands

and he's been down there for a while he's three and no non the UFC he's fucking dangerous for anybody at 145 and Alavara

he's got to eat a steak that motherfucker looks like an x-ray you gotta fucking eat a steak Oliveira you're Brazilian get that go to foe with a chow on the arm

tell him I'm fucking Brazilian I'm in the UFC you're in a fucking state and then trim down he's fucking it looks like a fucking human x-ray

yeah you got to you know But Cubs Swanson, God damn it, I love all that shit. I can't even, you've been knocked out. I can't even imagine. It's terrible. Because he was, looked like he was going to be okay, and then he just dropped. And that happened in one of the early, early cards, too, is a guy with the big hair or whatever.

Charlie Brennam. He got hit a bunch of times, and he just went down. I thought, you know, Joe said it was an early stoppage. Dana White tweeted a couple minutes later that it wasn't. And me, I thought it was in between. I know that when he went down, he went down. He's so active. And what happens is you get a punch to the head.

You get knocked out, but another punch comes and it wakes you to fuck up. That's amazing that you get knocked out, and then another crack to the fucking head. Like, what happened? You know what fucking happened? You went to the Zombo land for 15 fucking minutes. Because he went down, and then they showed in the replay, he went down, and then they went at him again. And if he only went down the first time, it would have been early. But he started punching him when he was on the ground.

And my friend brought it up. When the head started going side to side, and they're, they don't have any control over it. I mean, that's pretty much when you have to stop it. It's all low but the shot, and you do have control. You just go down, your legs go out. It's a fucking, man, I've been knocked out like, I got hit in the head with like a stick.

I got playing football one time. One time I had a car playing street hockey in Jersey. Because street hockey is the most violent thing you can play in fucking Jersey. And you were just with shoes, not real. Just with sneakers. There's some fucking kids that would push into, every day a car window got busted. You know how hard it's to bust a fucking car window?

Every fucking time we played that shit, somebody's fucking head went through a window. And in those days, they were real cars, not these plastic pieces of shit now, spider fucking cars, those things. In my day, you had those Cadillacs that were fucking, they went through a building, they went through a fucking building.

So what did you do to your head? In the old days, you got good lumps, too. I remember one time I threw a rock off a fucking building and I hit Juan Ali in the head. And he had a lump with a little pimple in the middle, like with pus real quick. In those days things did different to your fucking skull. By the way, the reason why I brought up

Rashad Evans is this, man. You know, he had his beef, you know, whatever happened down there and then he fought him and he talked a lot of junk about him and I think they made up or they didn't and then he went to the camp and Vito came in and it's like he's putting hatred on this John Jones guy and that interferes with

your own fucking grope sometimes and I love Rashide as a fighter but last night it really shocked me that he's a Vito's corner also and I know him better than anybody you know how bad he felt standing in that fucking thing you know he beat me up now he beat up a guy I fucking coached you know go stand on the 9-11 with a fucking umbrella or something like that

It always looks bad when you're getting that personal about it. Like, it doesn't make sense. But talking about personal, let me tell you what happened this week. And I went to fucking, I went to Madison, Wisconsin, and I went to Germantown, Wisconsin. And I'll tell you what, I had a fucking blast. You know me, guys, I like the middle of the fucking country. That's the only thing I can see what's really going on.

You know, you hear about all these politics and this and this. I know what the fuck's going on because I travel. I heard about the tanks invading fucking different cities. Connecticut people have seen tanks coming into different cities. Really? I didn't hear about that. Shit's going to go down. But I love going to the Midwest Because that's where you get the fucking troop

That's where you see the people driving what they drive The trucks, you see them making payments I had a blast in Madison I had a fucking blast in Madison Wisconsin I worked with Duncan Trussell Duncan is one of the fucking funniest guys Because he's taking his Accentricness

And putting it in his jokes And it's fucking brilliant He had a bit about suicide How there's going to be a suicide warehouse You know come on down You know shoot you're so I mean I was fucking dying So it was a pleasure I enjoyed working at Madison of some fucking great people.

People just love the podcast. You know, a lot of people talking about the flying juice. You're getting some fans out there. Then we went to Germantown on fucking Friday. Let me tell you something about German. And people can come up to me. What are you doing in German time? What the fuck I'm doing in German town?

I love all this shit. I don't care where I go. As long as the people are cool. I'm having a great time. You know, the thing that's starting to fucking fuck up, though, is a lot of people getting drunk at these shows. Oh, yeah. Real fucked up.

And these are fucking that squad, Joe. Deers, whatever show. These are weed shows. These people get all fucking drunk and start staring at you and they got bad fucking thoughts and they start asking you Google. They follow you around the fucking thing and I love talking to these motherfuckers, but when you get drunk I can't

talk to you because you're not making sense to me. I want to talk to people. I met a cool black dude a Ruggler. I want to give him a shout out from the buggy down fucking Bronx out in Germantown, in Luden fucking warrants. His name was a Ruggler. It was something like that. Radia, a good dude, man. Listen, I meet some

great people when I do those shows. I really... Everyone's been very cool. You know, Lee, you go and you fuck around with people on Twitter and Facebook, and two years ago, I said some on the Joe Rogan podcast, and every day I eat my words. I said, you know, these people won't be your friend with just a friend's on Twitter. I said, some stupid comment, look now. You know, we have a little family going on, and

it's great to see people from Twitter to see that. I mean, you know, people know what I look like from the videos, but besides that, my Twitter page is a nice big set of fat, juicy nuts, motherfuckers. So, when I see these people, you know, people and I see their faces and the Twitter, it does something to you lead. Now you connect it.

You really do, people come up to you on the sun and go, I'm this person. You're like, fuck, man, great to meet you. You know, because we've been fucking around on Twitter. Yeah, because you respond to a bunch of, like, the same people. You have to. You have to. These people were building something here. They're not fucking fans.

They're gumbars. They're fucking friends at this point. I told them I fucking mug the hooker. I never even told the priest I mugged the hooker. And that's what you opened was. That was like one of the first stories you told. Yeah, you got to let these people know what fucking time it is. Because I don't want nobody.

showing up and thinking I'm one thing and I'm not the other fucking. We all fucked up. People watched me. I had I was fucking starving. We went to Red Lobster. I had a salad. I had the salad, soup and lunch. Then the rest of the day I didn't fucking eat, right? Yeah. And I ordered something to eat.

I go, what do you got to? I couldn't see without my fucking glasses. So she goes, the best kind of the menu is a steak sandwich. I'll give it to me a marshmallow's holder cheese. She goes, you want fries. I go, whatever it comes with. I didn't get the fucking thing until after I got all stage. When I got all stage, I fucking bit into it was delicious. Some guy taps me on the show

They goes, hey, the Dolce diet People watch They care They're involved By the way Shout out the Dolce diet I've lost about 4 pounds It's funny because I'm putting on mass

I think I'm losing weight Well you work out a lot Yeah I try to I try to do fucking something every day You know you can move the veins You gotta move the reef And the fucking lungs You gotta do something

You know my ankles used to be really Fucking fat I uh Yeah you said that Acupuncture and that's one of the reasons It improves my fucking circulation And I work on it man Your blood's got to be fresh

I like to get cupped. I didn't go to Acupuncture last Tuesday. I had a lot of shit on my plate. This week, I got shit on my plate because I'm leaving Thursday. I'm going to Baltimore to the comedy fucking factory. Get your tickets now. But Wednesday night, me and Leah at the Ice House at Testicle Testaments. Oh, shit.

We're only going to tape like two more. We're going to tape a total of five. The third one is headed over to iTunes now. Yeah. It should be up in two weeks. You know, I have a couple different ones to talk about. I'll talk to you afterward and we'll discuss it. Also, Lee, I want to mention to you again that I told you on the phone.

I want to tell the people, listen. I got all your sponsorship stuff. I sent the road to my attorney, my man, Nathan, a bunch of people sending me some stuff. All I can do is have my attorney look at over. He'll call me Wednesday before I leave, and I'll get back to you guys. And not that I'm blowing you off is that we're trying, not even to get the best deal. I want to know what the fuck is going on. I don't know a lot of these products.

You know, but we got a bail bondsman to fucking call in. And I know all about, listen, when I lived in Jersey, I never used a bail bondman because you're friends, they know people. They go on there, they bail you out. But in Seattle, Washington, I got arrested five. times in 18 months. I swear to God, I still got a warrant out there, those cocksuckers. But I used the bail

bonds, I used the black guy that used to hang out at the comedy. Ten points, you get you right out. You call them. You're going to go back to court. You're not going to skip out. There's America's most wanted. You're in no fucking danger. But use somebody you trust. So we got a bail bondsman. I'm going to see what their thing is, what their rates are. You know, if they're good to the brothers.

Because you've got to be good to the fucking brothers, like Public Enemy said, to the street, schools and the prisons. History shouldn't be amiss. Anyway, don't get excited. I love what he say anyway Just look at the next shirt Anyway, dot-dot you want the fuck you want me to say? You want me to lead into it?

I'm no fucking Johnny Carson You know the deal Anyway, we got a full fucking That's what I'm saying I gotta drop in that way Lee, get the soda off, you're gonna electrocue this shit It's a look for! Jew on fire!

Jew on fire! What does I say to you? You're in Baltimore. No, forget Baltimore. It's the wire. You're killing me here. We're talking about this fucking gambling today. Okay. I got my buddy coming in.

My brother calling and Joey Falado. Joey Falado was cousins to Darren Rago, one of the guys that put balls in my fucking life. It was him and Mike Roney

who I'm going to see in Baltimore, Mike Roney. Darren is dead, but me and Joey always kept in touch. Joey flew out of here. And me and Joy went to dinner with my wife

in some fucking place downtown with white people. Ha, ha, ha. It's La Sienega with Beverly Hills there. Okay. Eight businesses got robbed in Beverly Hills last night. What do you expect,

Coxuckers? You got money. That's what, who's going down next is those money motherfuckers. Oh, yeah. Shit's getting tight. I always told people, you better get a bow and arrow, a gun, something.

Anyway, back to my man, Joey Falado. We always kept in touch because we have this bond between us, this fucking kid that was big in the life. And he died 10, 12, 13 years ago, and we loved him fucking daily. I mean, it's amazing. I think about him every fucking day. He used to drive him. I was back in New York in 1994 trying to become a comic. I'm trying to snort blow, send child support.

I'm trying, you know, and I had nothing. And you know who helped me? He fucking helped me. He was a childhood friend, and I'd call him up at night, and I'd say, listen, this, I can't break into the garage. I can't steal change out of the ashtrays and get home. He'd go, I pick you right up. He goes, let me take 10 minutes, and I'll stop and get a 20 for us, so we could snort on the way home. Then he picked me up, and I talked him to drive me to an open mic in the city, and I told the story all the time that one night we went to Carolines.

I had like a bringer show, and I met some people. I did a spot of Carolines, and 11 o'clock there was a talent contest, and he went up, and he fucking won first place. No material, no nothing. He talked about a wedding band that when you look at another chick, the wedding band would burn on fire. You walk around with no finger and all this shit. Fresh, off the top of his head.

And he won like this 50 bucks or porno. And then we went to this other club in Union City called the Players on Dirty First Street. That's one of my last experiences of Darren, but I always remember them for that. Whenever I walk into an audition or something, I always think about that. Because I go, Darren went up there with no fucking material.

Just went up there and dropped knowledge, North Bergenstein. He won first place at a talent contest. against 10 other fucking guys. So Joe's going to call in. We're talking about gambling. Look at some picks. You know, me and Lee were talking about.

Lee's a fucking New England fan. So I talked about it or bet or about. But we were talking about an interesting thing here. Broncos, Texas game is a good one. Yeah. Texans game. I like New England, Baltimore. You know, the over and under is 48 and 52 in fucking New England in some parts of the country.

Lee was saying he likes the under. Yeah, Baltimore just so good on their defense and their offense. really isn't that great. So, I mean, I always get nervous, but in the over, but with Baltimore, if it's 50 points, I could see us winning 20, like 24 to 14 or something like that, I hope. So I think under is good bent. And then we got Denver, Houston. The over and under is 44.

What were we talking about? I would think that'd be the over, just because their offenses are so great. And Peyton Manning had three interceptions his last game, so he's going to want to be okay. You see, I'm talking about this is knowledge right here, but it don't fucking matter. You can say all about Peyton. It's all about the fucking line. It's all about Vegas. They don't give a fuck about Peyton Manning.

Usually the team who loses on Monday night covers the fucking spread. I think they're giving whatever is given there. Houston Texans are minus three points at home. And I'm a fan of Houston, Texans. I love those motherfuckers. I've been watching them for the last like eight fucking years. It's got better and better. You're always missing a component.

But now I think they got it all put together. I usually don't like fucking around with the New England, that 4 o'clock game of America. you know, America. I like the concept. I like that they're putting families together. But I know that they fucking rip your heart out. Now you've got to go into Monday and suck a dick.

I don't need that either in my life. I want the people who watch this show to be soldiers. We pick up a fucking envelope every week, even if it's a 50. Fuck the bookmaker. We're going to piss in his fucking mouth today, so on the New England game against Baltimore, we're going to go with the fucking over on that, correct?

Sure, let's go. No, you can't say this. I'm trying to put money in these fucking people. I think it's the under. But I always get nervous, but I always get nervous, but any over. Because you said it's 50. Let's go with the fucking under. You're absolutely right.

I'm sorry. I can't see without my fucking glasses. They want to put one contact in my left. I got to walk around with a fucking monitor like mud treatment. I don't need that shit. I need both my fucking eyeballs. And then we were talking about the Bronco whatever game. That's the over.

That's the over right there. So let's go over on the Bronco game. Sit tight all fucking there. You don't need nothing. You probably made a little guineas last night. Maybe you didn't. Maybe you need to get back today. So you're going to wait to the 4 o'clock game.

Take your wife to fucking Target, walk around with the kids, throw the ball, go outside, water the fucking lawn, make believe you're a good husband, boyfriend, but a quarter of four, get that cock sucker on the phone and tell him, hey, bitch, here you go. Open up your legs. Uncle Joey's sending you a fucking flying dildo along with the flying Jew. Bang the fucking, what is it? What? Stone. On the fucking Texan game, it's the over. Yeah, the over is 40. The over is 44 and a half. And on the New England, Baltimore, you're going to bet the fucking under.

And you're going to, go parley. Parley's for suckers. Okay. See what happens with the first fucking game. And then decide on the second. Call them back. The lines are always open. They ain't going nowhere.

You know what I'm saying? And if your bookie has to go, eat dinner with his... Fuck him. He ain't really a fucking bookie. A bookie's got to be there to 11. Answering the phone, getting ready for the next day, giving out the fucking line. Yeah.

That's a good book. You call him up. You're telling him this the Silver Cavalier, whatever your fucking name is. And bang, with six minutes from Joey Boom Boom, Boom, Falado. I love you, motherfuckers. Checking in on. a Sunday. I appreciate

everything you do. Me, after this shit, I got a day, Phil D'Aughtley. Di Agostino, my man from the ha-ha, the little young guy is getting married. Yeah, he's getting married. Getting married at 2 o'clock over on a co-fast. I got to put a suit on and run over there. I got to get to the Y at some point for them. I'm going to hit the bag, stretch, run a little bit,

do the bicycle, my knees been bothering with my other fucking knees on. You know, when you repair a meniscus or whatever, an ACL, you put so much training the other one that you hurt the other one down. When I was training, I think I hurt that one, and it's been fucking killing me the last couple of days. So I'm still going to work out, and, you know, I'm 50. I don't know if I want to.

If I do the surgery, I do it before the year's over, because I don't want to be in the hospital with my wife. She's spitting out of kid, and there I am limping around, like Fukuke and Julio. But I was thinking about a story about gambling. The guy I'm going to see next week is Mike Running. And Mike Roney was the king of suing people, and then getting the money and putting it and gambling it away and squamble. Him and my other buddy came out to Aspen, Colorado to my wedding. He was supposed to be my best man. He had rings around his nose.

The priest came up to me. He's like, listen, dog, Mike can't do this shit. He's too coked up. So, George, he stepped in for him. But Mike was such a fucking loser in gambling that we had this guy at Lucci's ball called Spider. God, he's not with us no more. He got hit by a cop. Sorry about that.

He got hit by a cop. No, right? He's fucking, he would be a drunk, a coke dude, but he would start partying at 11 in the morning. Well, basketball don't start until 7.30. You start snorting and drink 11.30 in the morning by 4 o'clock, you fucked up. So my man, Ronnie knew this shit. Okay. So Ronnie would go to him, right?

And he would know what was going on, so he would wait for the games to start. Yeah. Like 20 minutes in, he would call sports phone. Because in those days, there was no ESPN with the game, with the sport lines every 15 minutes. Okay. You got to call sports phone for 35 fucking minutes, dog. That's how you knew. 35 minutes.

It would cost you 35 cents. And what would they do? What was sports? What was it? Reading is your next fucking call is. at 8.41 p.m. Right now, let's go to the NBA. And they'd spit out all the things, opening lines in college, and it was

just a pre-recorded call. Shit. Bro, you guys are living today. You're pretty easy. You go on your phone, you know, the score of a fucking game up to the minute. The old days, we'd get them like every eight minutes. So you didn't even know. That's my unemployment, so high. All these people used to have jobs and do that stuff. Yeah, just sit there all day. Greetings.

Thank you for calling Joe Diaz. If you bet the night is, go fuck your mother. You're a loser. You know what I'm saying? Like, goof on them. But then, but then they give you the scores and the lines it was along and some people would just stay on there. I had friends that would stay on there for hours. Motherpook, give you the school.

So he would call sports phone, we'd get to score the game, he would go up to Spider, Spider would be laid out of the bar, he'd wake him up. Spide, I want to put this game in. He put the game in knowing the score already, and he'd still fucking lose. So he'd be up and he'd still lose. He'd tell me he'd come home and die, because he'd be a

fucking coaked up and Joe would be going from his under as I'd die. What the fuck? I caught Spider halfway through, and I still fucking lost. That's how fucked up people we hung out with growing up. This guy's just hang out at Lucci's bar. My man, Joe Lucci down there in Florida, living off the fucking 20s. He sold the bar to some

Puerto Ricans. Yeah. Next to Veneres funeral parlor now. When we went back to North Bergen due to the documentary, you said that a lot of people, I think George said it, or I forget who said it, was that was a big thing. Like on Saturday nights, you guys would jump in front of cars and try to get try to get like the hospital bill and sue people.

No, I had a friend. Sylarence. He was specialized in that shit. Oh, yeah, the Jew. He would say, you're fucking broke. Come on. I'm making some money. For $300, he'd show you to a hole that you'd fall in, like a bump on the sidewalk and shit, and he'd take it to it, boom.

He'd show you the whole. Yeah, he'd show it to you. Then he'd drive you to the hospital. Let's say he was supposed to scrape your shoulder up. Yeah. He'd scrape your shoulder up a little bit. He'd take you to the hospital. You get the x-rays.

The next day, he'd pick you up at 9 in the morning. You'd go to the attorney's office. The attorney already had the paperwork on your fall. He had everything done. You had your doctor's appointment set up. And your job was to go to the doctor. Because the more doctor bills you rang up, that's the more they give you. You know the fucking minded of the Jew.

And then what did he, he told you to say, where am I? Yeah, whenever you fall, whenever you fall, a slip or something, always, even if you don't pass out, open up your eyes and go, where was I? Did I pass out? Did I pass out? Did I pass out? Those four words, it's a hundred grand. That's better than being a Vietnam fucking vet. You follow me?

Because that's the first thing they're going to say, he hit his head so hard, Your Honor. He passed out. A hundred fucking G-boes right there coming to you. But those days are long gone. It's tough to fucking take an insurance. They follow you now. My other buddy got an insurance company for like $200,000. Front of their fucking grandma fucking Coke.

Went out dancing. He's on the dance floor fucking dancing. They got a tap on the shoulder. It was the insurance guy. Boom. He lost his money. He was supposed to be at home. Nursing his bad knee.

He couldn't go to work for a year. He couldn't roller skate no more. He laid out dancing in the gold god. He's out fucking dancing. So in the old days, they fucking just wrote out checks. Now these motherfuckers follow you in cars and take pictures. You've seen those things on, like, the news at 530. these fucking crime stoppers.

The eyewitness. The eyewitness, they drive around and follow people working for the municipalities, smoking dope by the liquor store, playing lottery tickets. Fuck it, milking the system, these top suckers. There's a state carbon in Boston over the weekend who was drunk and passed out in a Wendy's parking lot in his car. But, oh, we got a call coming in. There's my brother right there. Hold on.

Joey Falado. Yo, what's happening in Coco, my man? What's up? Brother, I'm happy. What's the church or what's happening, baby? You know how we fucking do it here. You got the day off? Oh, yeah, the day off finally.

You know, it's cost sales, but, like, and thank you for inviting me to the church because he's the first time of 10 years. I've been in church. I like you in church. I'm smoking weed. I'm drinking red wine right now. Red wine.

Look at you like John Gotti in 85 before he hit Costalano, like a doctor. What's going on, brother? You know, every week I can have all these momos call in, but I want to have North Bergen people calling, especially specialists in certain fields. You know, we grew up in the same. You know, I always think about Joey, just to let these people know.

Do you remember when Larry Holmes fought the Great White Hope? Remember that when we were kids? Jerry Cooney and your father had the biggest TV on the block. This is a true story. So we went over there. Your mother made three different types of chicken colors. The ones dipped in fucking breadcrumbs and the other ones in flour. In the Italian breadcrumbs?

Oh, my God. Everything. I was, I was probably 18. You were probably 15, Joey, 14. Exactly. Danielle was three. Your sister was three. I mean, this is how long we go back.

You know, at that time, Joey's had the basketball court in the backyard. He had the fucking lap machine. Everybody was doing... We had the bait and everything, and you know who started to wait. Fuck, yeah. The man. The man. Everybody was drinking Deca Daroblin, you know what I'm saying?

Except for Dominic Paradise. He wanted carrot juice. We had 50. We had 50. 15 guys hitting the same needle. All boiling it off. Everybody had, Eddie Leach, when one time hit himself and started just shaking.

You have Eddie Leach? Oh, 15 on one needle. And everybody's still walking around, spitting fucking nails like a soldier. Yeah, yes, exactly, exactly. You know, I've been listening to your podcast, and I heard one the other day on the 20th, and you had your friend Martin calling.

Yeah. And then after that, you know, I heard the flying Jew. Like, you know, maybe some people don't believe. any of these fucking stories but anybody who's listening around the world whatever this man said is a hundred percent true. Oh, we get down, Joe.

Why lie now? I'm 50 years old. You know what I'm saying? These people get lied to every fucking day. They can only believe me if you're from Norrugan. That's it, coax. You know, when I call people and I say them from North Bergen, Dog, you know,

this is where we grew up. We got to tell these stories to people. They called back. Like, I contacted Dave Boulogne. I contacted Mike Mike fucking anybody on Facebook because being out of North Bergen when you look at it you realize how fucking crazy you are like you realize

how crazy you know remember when they got the hooker remember when they got Debrayam bawling all remember she used to suck dick on 80th Street on Smith Street and they convinced this fucking hooker they convinced this hooker to fucking go on eyewitness news and tell her that she was a hooker for the mayor and she wasn't

who knows and they shut down the whole political system and 18 months later they found the fucking dead. Oh, Jesus. Dead. Remember that? And then they changed her name. Her name was like Patty Lamanka and they changed it to Debrianne Balling Hall. How much of a joke it was.

We lived that life, man. These guys don't know. We live somebody from California going to tell a story about what? Like we're sitting at a Starbucks? What's not going to do, you know? Tell us a little bit about your gambling expertise, brother. Excuse me? Tell us a little bit about your gambling expertise.

Oh, my God. Well, I wasn't a little bit of a gambling expertise years ago. You know, it was like 1988. I had nothing. I was just hanging out doing nothing. Everybody else was dealing Coke. You know, of course, I couldn't live by that rule. Don't get high in your own supply, so I didn't deal.

I just hung out with everybody. So I never had an Uncle Frankie, and I never knew what Uncle Frankie really was until I went and met him one day. I bet I'm at the point. You remember the point called? The point is. The point, absolutely. A cheeseburger deluxe. Oh, yeah, disco prize.

They were unbelievable. I met him there one Sunday morning, and he said, okay. He goes, I want you to go to Seacococke's at this job site, and go meet this guy in a trailer. And he didn't tell me what it was. I didn't even ask. He goes, just go be there. So, you know, I go over there, and all of a sudden,

they got 20,000 football tickets. So I'm delivering football tickets. This is 1988, you know? And all of a sudden, I graduated to the phone room. Now, the phone room, if you ever know, anywhere you take best in New Jersey, you know,

you've got to go over to Washington Heights. Right, because there's a ticket in New York, but it's a felony in New Jersey. Did you know that?

That's why you do it. You go over the river. In New Jersey, it's a big time felony in New York's to slap on a wrist. So I never really knew who my uncle Frankie was and how big they were

and who they were with. I'm delivering on Monday night if I go over to Staten Island, I'm picking up 20,000 football tickets. And on Monday night, I'm delivering them. I'm all up and down Burgline Avenue and Kennedy Boulevard and Maregs and this pub and this pub. So, you know, I was fucking sick at the time.

I wasn't doing anything. This is the first time I really knew and thank God Uncle Frankie is who he was because I wouldn't even be here talking to you. On Thursday nights, we'd settle up. You'd settle up with Coco, everybody, you know, and you meet people here. We used to drive around with $50,000 in the car. So I was a sick fucking young man. I just had somebody follow us. one day, and all of a sudden, about two months later,

he did it as a cop, you know what I mean? He fucking, he did it as a cop. He pulled us over, put the light on the thing, and all of a sudden, boom, two days later, we got 36 grand in cash, and that was the beginning of a fucking downfall over there. And we went to the fucking phone room. You know about the story in the phone room?

Yeah, what were you doing? Tell these motherfuckers. Oh, my God. Well, first, when you get a phone room, you're up in Washington Heights, and you take over an apartment. what, like 186 and St. Nicholas. You know, so it's like 15,000 Puerto Ricans and Dominicans hanging out all over the place,

and you're walking through, and there's six white guys walking through, you know, coming out of a Lincoln, fucking all dressed up, and you go with somebody's apartment, and you have a phone, and there was six phones and call waiting, and we used to take numbers and bets and sports bets and give the football lines. So, you know, everybody's got a package back then, you know, so my package was bike, And you remember the guy named Brian? I don't want to drop any other things. Right, absolutely.

My brother, yeah. The call out down there here. Yeah, that's my brother, man. Yeah, he had a used package. And so we had somebody on the inside, excuse me, on the outside who was betting through him. We used to put everything, when you called up, Cokes, it was like a phone. With a tape record on the phone, with a little wire on the phone in those days. So you could hit pause and do whatever you did.

So we had, I used to work with a guy named Dean, you know, his father used to own the regs. up there, you know, Dean DeAndre? Yeah. Yeah, and this guy named Jimmy Teeks and all the guys, they were ahead of the phone room. So I had a friend that had a package due car that was his name, Brian, and he had a big package.

So we started putting him back after the thing was over. You know, after the time you couldn't lose. So back then, we hit, like, four of us hit him for like a hundred and fucking 25,000. He had a big, you know, within like a month period of time. Now the guy, I was working for was in jail.

You know who he is. He's fish. Yeah, I don't even know if he's still alive these people. I hope now because I'm not over there. He's still alive.

He's still alive. Yeah, yeah. So we were putting in the bets after the game was over and all of a sudden we got caught. So now nobody knows this. Now this is about, you know, a year or two into it.

I'm 19, I'm 20 years old. Robbing him for 25 grand. That was a lot of money back then. Snorting every fucking dollar, too. Oh, my God. Snorting every dollar. Looking out windows, getting freaks, putting Coke rocks in their assholes. Tremendous.

Exactly, exactly. Well, we had a, you would go into the building, and right downstairs in the building, they were selling coal. They were selling Coke right there, St. Nick. $30 a gram, $35 a gram in those days, I think, 60 is. Exactly. I used to go with Rego. We used to go over with Rego.

We got caught. Yeah, we got caught. You know, when we, you know, you know, you guys live in. I mean, we used to live that shit, and these people see it in the movies. When I was working for them, every, like, Christmas and every so often you have a big meeting someplace. And we used to have them on 57th and 5th. In this back room in a place called Billy Hongs. The Chinese place.

It was a Chinese restaurant. The best lobster egg roll you ever tasted. $33 back in 85, Billy Hungs. $33. They used to order 50 for the table. I'm telling you. My mother used to take me there as a baby and tip him 100 because I'd make such a fucking mess. I used to go to Billy Hung so much as a kid

There was a picture of my real father The one that my real father, Manuel Diaz There was a picture of Billy Hung's wall Because he was in there So many years from Cuba Like he was there I remember years later I went there to 85

Lobster fucking egg rolls $33 $33.19 Two of them Unbelievable Fuck it, three of them So either We have 20 guys in the back room You know like the fucking soprano

I didn't really know what was going on I was 20 years old I didn't piece together who these guys were, they ordered 50 egg rolls for the table. So one time we had a meeting there, and everybody's in, this, Coco, this place is packed with 500 people on a Saturday night. I'm sitting there. All of a sudden, the sheddy walked in with Mark Eiffles.

Remember him? Yeah. Is he still doing time? Big guy. I don't know. But he was one of those guys who didn't want to see at nighttime, you know? He would light you on fire. That was a rumor about him.

He used to fucking... No, yeah, he walked in, big guy. And he was... I was sitting on a bar stool right there, and all of a sudden, Frischetti open hand slapped me, bang in the face. He goes, I could put a fucking bowl in your head, and the whole place stopped. Now, this is like, this is not a movie. This is real life.

And I was like, I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything. And eventually I had a fucking, you know, admit what I did. And then the next day, I ran to my Uncle Frankie, and I never heard anything else about it, you know? And my Uncle Frank, I didn't realize was a year. huge capo in the fucking Gambino's family, you know? So, thank God.

I'm here talking to you today. Thank God. You know why, though, because of my fucking mutual brother. You know, I was telling these guys that before I go to an audition or anything, I always think about Darren. I always do it because I think about the balls. And I was telling you that... He was alive.

He would have loved you. Oh, he would have been right here. He would have been with the flying Jew right now. Because he would have been out of there smacking motherfuckers. Everybody would have got smacking. along the way. Adam Sandler anybody who wouldn't have treated me right because he loved this shit. But one of the stories

just to let you know about the mind frame of how fucking North Bergenese we are and how fucking stupid but how loyal we are. Tell the story about the time where he gave the kid money. Don't sell the kid's name because the kid's a good kid that we've talked. He took the kid's money, the kid...

Man, it was a bad part of his life. It was a bad part of his life and this kid was you know, everybody was partying, doing what they were fucking doing shit, you know? and this kid fucking got him for $60 and it was like two weeks in a row and he just proud of all I promise my cousin didn't have anything

you know that Coke and he would give you the fucking shirt off his back bro you know he he does man he was you can't I mean even know who he was

but it's unbelievable I miss him so fucking much he'd give you the shirt off his back so he didn't have 60 bucks he probably robbed us to get it to the kid because the kid was saying he had to feed his family

whatever the kid beat him so fucking then the kid was going around town and he wasn't going to pay him. So you know how fucking Darren was, like the incredible hoax. He lived on 90th Street. You remember behind the car wash there?

Fuck yeah. On the big red rigged there, right? He went down the fucking block, and he lived in an apartment building, but he lived up on the second floor. He ran through the first door, and he fucking ran through the second door off the fucking engine, and fucking went in his apartment and started joking. And it wasn't that he wasn't giving them the money back.

It was like... It was the principal. principle that he was going around town you know how it was right but it supposedly he broke the fucking table and he hit him with the table leg oh jesus and he got and he got charged an attempted murder but i guess he died before anything uh and then he died he died right before that you know because it was a bad time it was just a bad time and darrens and that could have been any of us joey that could have been you me oh i think darren took the bullet for me i always think about that how i got to do something every day because he took the bullet for me man i did a lot of things with darren i got out

Yes, you know what? He always told him. I remember the story of him and you robbing the fucking gas station with the water pistol. That I got, I robbed it from Pacmark and got caught the first time. I lied to the lady. I told him that my little brother needed it. My parents died needed the water pistol. We went up there with a water pistol, and we robbed him for $200 fucking dollars.

And then another time. Right? Yeah, Georgie Amico, right there, across the street from the ice. school we were out of the gas station. But the best was, we went to Harlem one night. We graduated high school. It was 135th in fucking Amsterdam, right?

And this is 1982. We're out there. And he had the ice box. He had a car that had no heater. So we called it the ice box. It's February in New York. The degree is. It was told in the car and outside the car.

Oh, my. It was fucking. It was a blizzard. Me and your brother, me and your cousins. and rob so many stereos from Sears that summer. That's how that winter. That's how he made a living. We go to Sears and steal a fucking stereo

and get $60 for it, and that was our night out. $40, $50 for a half gram and $10 for beer. He fucking beat me up one time with the Coke. Me and Darren, it was... What were you saying? What happened? No, no, me and Darren and you and Darren, and it's like a part of your life that I think about

and I got to sit down because I get sad. I'm getting sad now, thinking about it. I look at his picture. I got his picture everywhere. You still got no pictures? Oh, my God. I got a picture in his wallet. Yeah, I got a picture of his wallet.

I got a picture two pictures of him in my wallet, one on the wall. I got a shrine for him with my mother and all the other soldiers, and I like candles for him on Monday, and I pray for them. Because what would be... There's so many, man. Tell him about... It's unbelievable. You get a long way, man.

It's unbelievable. That's Danregor right there. I don't pick his fan. Oh, my God. them about in high school that show up these people I got a picture of my balls on my Twitter but tell them how far back my balls go who's ever listening I was a fucking freshman and he was a senior and my cousin and him were best friends you know and we had this in gym class they would make you do like uh what was a fucking gymnastics gymnastics and shit like that so we had this teacher

that was a dyke what was her name miss burnhart miss burnhart and I loved this she was cool as shit. She was. He was really cool. So, now, Joey, if he tells you

about it, and it's the truth, he's got a Cuban egg roll the size of an arm. He had on these shorts, he cut

sweatpants on you know, with a hole in the middle. So he was going up on a parallel bars, and I was young, and I was passing by

and my cousin was there and he swings his stuff up, and he puts his leg over and his fucking egg roll falls down and almost at the mat. That's the fucking

big it was. And he said, Ms. Bernhardt. Ms. Sertr. I'm being a fucking hysterical, man. And she's like, get off the bars and stop showing me your dick. And then she pulled me over later on. She was like, I don't care what you're doing that class.

Just please, don't show me a dick, okay? That's how cool. You know, I was, whatever I think about Darren, I think about the A, the purple Kualudes at Black Sabbath. When we went down to Philadelphia, to see Black Sabbath with Ronnie James Dio and Sammy Hagar, and he stopped at the back room, a Burger King, and some guy sold him,

what he was quail. It was supposed to be acid. Purple microdate acid, but he ended up passing out so he kept torching him for years that it was purple quailudes and he would always get, fuck you, there weren't no fucking quailuts

that was acid I could taste it. Well, his beeper number used to be 714. That was his beeper number, you know? And for you guys that don't know, 714 was quailude. That was the number on a fucking quailute. 714, right?

Oh, man, there's so many fucking stories you can tell about you. How about when he fought Larry McNeil? And he threw him over the fucking king at the VFW. That fight started at fucking autos. That was in time when Darren first. I remember being in my little apartment, living with Mike Ronnie in the basement,

and one night your cousin shows up, and he's buggy, bug died. And he goes, Coco, let's do a line. And we start snorting. And he says, I got to tell you something. I started lifting, and I'm doing the juice. And he would take his shot off and pose for you. This is right before high school ended.

He would pose for you. So we had him on this program, but we get them all fucked up anywhere and go, Darren, take your shirt off, pose for these motherfuckers. He would do 50 sit-ups, he would do 50 push-ups, and start posing. This is not, I mean, you can't. Like, if he's doing in Union City in the bar? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Otto's.

We used to, in high school, I had a job bartending at Otto's Grill on 30th in New York Avenue. The register would pull in 1,500. They got $30, I kept the rest. All on Mondays. It was the biggest Mondays the bar ever had. I had everybody down there from high school. The deal was, I'll buy a beer, you buy a beer. This is my fucking January in high school.

For you motherfuckness who don't have work. This is it right here. We're dropping it on you. And on Wednesday... Science, cock suckers. I used to have to be there Thursdays at 7 a.m. And I'd still make 800. Then they used to have an envelope.

At the end of the night, Joey, the bar thing, you got to put an envelope and put in the refrigerator. It was just an envelope that you licked. I'd go into the city get coked up. Even on the night that I didn't work. I had the keys to the bar. On the way back, I'd go over the Lincoln Tunnel. Let's go pick up a quick hundred.

and go pick up a grandma blow. They go, what are you going to do? I go into the bar, take an envelope out, a brand new one, take the money out, take a hundred for myself, put a new envelope and write the amount. I was robbing the blind. I was that.

Forget about it. And there used to be a Sabret hot dog stand right there on 30th street, right in front of that. Where me and you ate Lee. Yeah. Me and Lee ate there. I took that hot dog stand.

That's where the bar was? Right there. We were in front of that fucking bar, right around the corner from my mother's bar. Oh, Jesus, right. When we ate that hot dog with chili and mustard. It was the last. Did you get to fly you in there?

I took the flying Jew to North Bergen. I took it to my mother's thing. That's who shot the documentary, the Flying Jew. Oh, he did it. This is my brother right here. He knows everything, man. So next time we go, we're going to shoot one about Darren. That's our next documentary, I think.

The relationship we had. I'll come in, I'll fly in for it. No, I know you will. I mean... I love your podcast. I'm your fan because of Darren. I'm living through me for you. You know what I mean?

I love you, brother. I love you, though, my heart. And I'm happy you call. I appreciate everything you do. Thank you, brother. I love you. And listen, I want you to, you got the number. You call whenever the fuck you want.

Your family, the people love you. I love you, man, and we'll talk a kiss for your little girl. Throw a kiss to the flying Jew. I'm definitely going to call back and call him periodically. You know who just called in? You know who just called here? Jimmy Villano just called me on the regular line and shit. Another soldier.

That fucking stick. That sick fuck. But, hey, do you remember any stories about the story? the Metalands in The Metallands in Now that was probably a little bit before my time I remember the ones that you were telling the other day about the Domino and the Westview

and the old room down there What was the hotel down there with Mr. T-Pick? But the Metallands bar, I got to get somebody calling that was with a girl Tina used to sit on a Galliano bottle. I was telling us she used to take a butt. We used to all go down there. She'd take a fucking Budweiser bottle and sticking in her pussy and then

the beer was... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll talk about... Listen, brother. what you did today meant the world. I love you, man. Just let these motherfuckers know what's really going on and where we're from. Hey, everybody, keep listening, baby. This thing is going to go. We're going to blow up the internet.

We're going to fuck them up. I love you. I love you, brother. Stay black. Bye. All right. You too. Take care yourself.

Bye-bye. Holy shilly. That was a great call. That's a fucking crazy. Darren, another good story was when you got in a fight at a club or whatever. And you got a knife from out of your leg or you threw a knife at someone's Like, I don't remember, but he came in, like, he flew out of the wall, like, saved your life. Yes, he did.

I mean, another time I had a beer. That was the night. We were seniors in high school, and it was the, you know, after the award dinner, like the best dancer, we never made it. We went over to 135, picked up an eight ball. We went to Sabatino's liquor store. His father owned. He was a year younger than us, too.

And he would steal his father's case in the liquor store. We'd go in there, take the fucking booze, and we go. We went to this bar in Union City, where we weren't supposed to fucking be at. Union City is the home of. Tommy Hineson, Frankie Winters from the Green Bay Packers, which I talked about when I was in the fucking German town Friday night. We played CYO

Ball together. I mean, the Union City is a great little fucking town, but they had this bar across the street from a funeral parlour. That's why I hated this bar. And the bar always changed hands. Okay. And I go to the guy, T.C. Crystal. If you didn't want to go into the city of Harlem to get T.H.C. Crystal, you went over to this

fucking bar, and now it became like it was the after hours for the fucking high school dance. The high school dance. We were at a bar with you by T.H.C. Crystal. The whole fucking school is they dancing, and the fight broke out. And some guy broke a fucking bottle, man, and had me in the corner. I'm all fucked up on a lude.

My foot is bleeding. And Darren came flying out of somewhere and took the guy. So, you know, people always say to me, what fucking drove you over the years is knowing that these guys' spirits were watching over me. Darren, my mother, my father, all these motherfuckers watch over me. How can I go wrong with these motherfuckers? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Don't forget, motherfuckers.

Testicle Testaments this Wednesday at the Ice House 830 Leasler be there Get your ticket 626-577-1894 The other thing I was talking about Lee that Lisa Just to talk about on here I gotta get a fucking car And I want to get a pot Listen I don't give a fuck about the Joneses

I just want to get around My wife needs a car down the daytime She's got the main car I got a Subaru I can go get a Subaru The fucking Maro I lease that one But I want something different for the house I just don't know what

Yeah If anybody has some help fucking message me on Facebook whatever. If you got a dealership up here in the valley, let me know. You do one that you can bring the kid around in. Like the one you have as a small one.

Fuck the kid. I ain't got time for the kid. Let the kid take a fucking bicycle. Like a Chinese kid on a rickshaw. I got time to be fucking driving around with kids. I do 90 down the side street. I do 90 in the school zone. You know what?

That was funny. You said it on the Rogan podcast, but when you have like a nice car, I was telling someone that when, like the only reason you buy that car, so you can go 90. Yeah. I'll rip it up.

If I got a 7 series BMWs, because I'm doing it. doing 90 everywhere. A cop pulled me out. I just get my car with a Jewish attorney with a Yamagana. And a $100 bill on a day. Do what you got to do. You know what I'm saying? Rip up my license. I'm going to get it back on Monday. Anyway, fuck it. Why drive it? I see these people with nice fucking cars doing 65 in the left-hand lane.

It drives me fucking crazy. I don't want a Porsche. I don't want a BMW. I don't want nothing like that. I want a regular working man's car. I like the fucking Hyundai. I like the Toyota Carolla. I really like the Ford Taurus. I just don't know. Did they still make that? Yeah. They got a new one. You're fucking vampish this shit. You know, I want to buy America in my fucking heart.

You know, I really want to buy American. My budget, you know, I got a thing from the credit union for fucking 15 Gs or something like that. So whatever I want to buy. I don't want to buy a Honda with 100,000 miles. You know, you always want to buy a car that's two years old, so somebody eats the fucking, whatever, the depreciation right off the back. Okay. But what they're doing up now, they're charging more for a fucking use car than for a new car. Yeah, and sometimes you go in there.

So it's just, I'm thinking about a used car, but you know what? I'm going to end up going. So today I'm going to go to Hyundai. I'm going to go look around and what the fuck. I've got to get a car by the end of the week. I'm leaving Thursday. I like to get it's a fucking day of paperwork, which drives me fucking crazy. I can't imagine you doing too well with that.

No, but I do good because I just go in and tell the fucking dude. I don't have time to go back and forth. I go straight into the sale. Who's the salesman? Let's go. Let's go. Here's what the situation is. This is my budget.

You know, let's do this. Or not just let me know. I ain't got time to go back and forth. I'm not going to sit down. I'll drive the car when we'll see what we can do. We work the deal backwards on the real deal. I ain't got time to work the deal of four steps. I've been there. I sold cars in college.

What the fuck? Yeah. The GM just actually recalled like half a million cars, though, for something with the transmission. To be careful with GM. And, you know, they all get, look at Toyota. You couldn't fucking stop. You know, you got got a Toyota three years ago. You know, it was Jews Paradise because everybody was getting

real fucking ended. You know what I? It's a remake of the Tupacel. Yeah. It's a Jew's Paradise because everybody's getting fucking rear-ended. Every fucking Jew's was jumping up and down. Every Jew got a picture Toyota in their house. They bowed. How much money that made for the fucking state of Israel

fucking Toyota? Everybody was fucking, even my wife hit somebody. That got you in the suit. She didn't know that the Jews were available to her. You know, she wanted to make sense with Norton Frickie and Associates. Fuck those cocksuckers, you know what? Unless Frickie's a Jew. I don't want to go into the chamber of debt with

some fucking, though. I got to go in there with a fucking Jew throwing heat. Sam DeLuca in Jersey City for all your attorney needs. Representing a manso, brother. at this time. Fuck it. Tell these motherfuckers. You're the only Cuban

with 18 Jews surrounding the That's the only way to get ahead. What do you go? You show up with an Indian dude playing a fucking bongo

with San Gizan. I need that shit. You got to show up with a Jew with a shiny suit like Bruce Buffer's fucking jacket. I'm telling you, I don't know what's wrong

with Bruce Buffer with that fucking jacket. He's two days away from fucking to... Well, his entire job is being like in the center. I mean, it must get to you or something,

but Jesus Christ. So we got on tap for this week. We have another fucking podcast tomorrow. Tomorrow is, what time? 6 a.m. Pacific. And 9 a.m. Motherfucking New Jersey time, cock suckers. So we got the car.

What did I cover? We covered Spider. Oh, you know what I want to talk about? Here's what I want to talk about from the bottom of my heart. Listen, guys, you know, we got a lot of things going on at Dets Squad. Joe Rogan's been very good to all of us. Duncan, myself, Ari. Tom, Segoor was got a lot of.

a new CD. It's number five on iTunes. Do me a favor. Let's make this motherfucker number one. Tom Segueroy was one the funniest fucking guys. I know. I love him and his wife, Christine Pete. And do me a favor. Just as us. Let's see what we could do for Tom fucking Sigurra. It's called White Girls with Cornrose and has

his picture on the front cover. His last CD was fucking hysterical. Tom Seguer is a fucking comic. Guys, I'm not a comedian. I'm a funny guy. Ha ha. Who? How? I'm here to amuse you. No! I like to fuck around with people. When I see a comedian that writes jokes and puts effort into him.

I sit there and drew because that's why I aspire to be and I'll never be something that good. Tom Segurri is one of those guys. You know, Tony Heincliffe, who I fucking love. I love Joe Rogan. They're monologist. This is what they do. They sit.

They fucking write. Please support Tom Sigurries. My brother, you know, and we'll go see him, smoke some dope and do whatever the fuck of it is we need to do. And that's it. You got the fucking under. You got the over we gave you. We gave you Joey Falado, throwing heat.

It's the Lord's Day, man. Go enjoy your families. It's a beautiful day to fucking be alive. You're alive. What the fuck you got to be mad about? We goofed around today. We smoke some dope. Lee, no more ref on Sundays, cock sucky.

You're no good. I'm sending you to an N.A. That's it. It's over. Dude, I just two hits, and you get mad at me because they're not big enough. Two hits. You were smoking for 18 fucking minutes. I'm like, Lee, put the pipe down.

They blame it on me. Well, you were outside. No. You're sitting in here staring at the refrigerator with a soda going to electrocute us. You know, what the fuck? Lee, you're killing me. me, though. You're supposed to be the fucking bodyguard. You're talking about the wolf-dux.

I love you, motherfuckers. Tomorrow, I don't know who's going to call it tomorrow. Tomorrow I might have Steve a girl. Surprise. It's a fucking surprise. But I'm very excited about you guys. Thank you for supporting the podcast and for everything the fuck that you do for me

and Lee, whether it's a documentary on payloads, whether it's on Amazon or iTunes, whatever the fuck you do, man. We love your testicle testaments Wednesday night. Lee, it's like a jungle. sometimes. It makes me wonder. I'm praying the message. Oh, one other thing. Don't forget to watch

at close range. I gave it out the Rogan thing. A bunch of people have been calling me back. I hit me back on Twitter. Fantastic movie. You'll forget all about Avatar and all this other shit you've seen. Christopher Walking, Sean's fucking Penn. That's my movie for the fucking week. Oh, 1984. Madonna

lived to tell us, the soundtrack. That's when she was married to Sean Penn. Sean Penn was doing Decor de Robble. Look at the first scene. They got the guy from 24. What's his doesn't even have a line in that fucking movie. Oh, shit. That's how strong the fucking movie is. I love you guys.

Stay black. It's like a jungle sometimes. It makes me wonder how I keep them going under. Ha ha, ha, ha. Hit it from Lee. What are you doing? It's going. I was going to play different time, but I'll go.

There's going. Here you go, motherfuckers. Have a great day with your family. You're alive. Yeah. Break the reefer. Smoke that motherfucker. Eat that monkey.

Be a man, bitches. Thank you for all your love. Lee, throw up a kiss. Bye, guys. It's like a jungle. Sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep from going over. Sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep from going under.