The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - 10/14/2012 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #17

Episode Date: October 15, 2012

Joey and Lee come together on a Special Sunday edition of The Church of What's Happening Now. They talk about UFC 153, weight loss problems and tips, and people on twitter. Joey tells the story of when he first got interested in the UFC and met Anderson SIlva and his manager. Streamed live on 10/14/12

Drop some knowledge on these motherfuck. You gotta fucking feel this. My mentality was always going to the mouth of the line and put a chair down and sit the fuck down and let the pieces fall where they may. And if you're not going to live like that, fuck them off. Early morning highest fuck out the bed fired up. You can't be wired up. Oh shit. Blast that Lee.

It's the Lord's Day motherfuckers. Lee, what the fuck? Blast that shit. We're in the fucking ghetto. Bump that motherfucker like you own it. Boom. Bo boom. Boom.

Boom. I show you where my nuts is from and butt you with this fucking gullet. Listen, don't. I ain't got no time for all the bullshit. The gloves is off. I don't need no companies of fucking balls. We're back, bitches.

The church of what's happening now, the special gambling edition on the motherfucking Lord's Day. Joey Cocoa Diaz, my buddy in Heat, Lee, Syatt, aka the flying fucking Jew. Are you kidding me? Or what? What's going on there, Lisa? Not much, man.

It's been a great weekend so far. It's been fucking awesome. That's right. It's been fucking tremendous. It's been a great weekend for everybody. Even though these cocks suckers tried to stop me by taking me off Twitter. Unfucking believable how it started because I'm in Portland, Oregon. I get off a fucking plane.

I'm having coffee with Felicia. I'm getting all these calls. Joey, is there something wrong with your fucking Twitter? I'm like, listen, I'm having coffee. I'm not in front of the computer. But when I went to log on right there on the phone, and I get home and you know what it was people?

Don't fuck me. Let me explain to you what it was. There was a couple crime stoppers last week. I knew exactly who the fuck they are. Their Twitter fucking crime stoppers. You know, I've had the picture up for what, three fucking months. Yeah, every once in a while I got a complaint.

Show, we take it down. How long are you going to leave your balls up there? Did I take it down? I'm not going to do nothing unless I want to fucking do it. You follow me? Nothing bothers me more like my pants always fall. And people always say, hey, crack kills.

Really? It's 2012, and you're still saying that stupid fucking joke. If I didn't pull my pants up and you know me 10 years, what's going to fucking happen? What are you talking about? So everybody kept hitting me up, change the fucking picture. And then I got this guy that there was like two little fucking douchebags last week that were in a row. Because I don't know what happens on Twitter. Twitter is the best.

And then every two or three weeks, you get three little douchebags that pop up by the fucking Twitter hell. Just out there that say shit to people. When you go on there, and I never understood that. Again, that was like, to me, when people would say something on Twitter, then you say something back and they disappear, I know these 13-year-olds call it trolling. Oh, my God, I'm just trolling. To me, when you're trolling, that means you're looking to suck a dick where I grew up.

That's a trolling fucking meant. That you're looking to suck a dick. So if you were one of those little amateur trolers or you know somebody who thinks that's cute, get it together. There's a lot of shit going on. Here you are on Twitter hiding behind fucking a computer, insulting people. Tell you go to their pages And they have 20 insults

And so Ken Kardashian And it's the same one Same fucking people You know You look at it You go really guy Like who the fuck raised you What were you raised by

Once your weak fucking little fags Running around in the house You know Talking about this and that And the neighbor next door Let's put an egg in his yard And that's hide That's geeky shit

But anyway That's who rather me to fuck out Some mook on there I see one of them back on there last night Really? Yeah he's back You know just And they have no life

They go home and they look at the fucking computer. You know, I love to get my hands on them and put them in a black fucking neighborhood with a shirt that says, I hate fucking yams. Let them loose at four in the morning or something like that. It just fucking kills me. What's up for you?

Lee, Lee, Lee, looking sharp today, Lee. Look at you. He puts some gel in his fucking hair dude today. I need a haircut. But thank you very much. You had me over last night to watch the fights. We had a very special guest. We have Mike Dolce over here.

And Mike Docee is one of the sweetest. fucking guys I've ever met. Running an intervention for us. Yeah. He, uh, he, you know, Mike Dolce, I met him on at the fights. I would see him in fights and I'd make stupid comments. And, uh, and one day he was on, uh, MMA junkie. I was on MMA junkie.

And that's how it started. Uh, George, gorgeous. George is a bad motherfucker that he is yells out, Joey, but, but he's training with Mike Dolcher and I go, what is he going to do? Jump in the fucking thing with a frying pan? What's it going to do? Can't do it just because you eat fucking better. And Mike's seeing me and he broke my balls and I always kept in touch with him.

and I started hitting them up on Twitter. Then we did the Joe Rogan thing, and I always talked to him weekly. After that, I give him a call once a week or once every 10 days, and he called me last week. He said he was in town. So I figured I had Mike Doche surrounded by two fat fucks for fucking the UFC,

and it was great. I had a great time. I'm happy you came over. I like just doing it at home, quiet. Yeah. You know, we ate a little bit. He brought some mozzarella. Oh, that was good.

I've never been into that before, but it wasn't bad. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older and my taste are changing or whatever. it is but that was fucking delicious with tomatoes and mozzarella. Ooh, but tea, they did it the fucking yuppie way with vinaigrette, whatever. When you have it the Italian style, a nice piece of fucking prosciutto on top with a little muts and a fucking, and you got to taste that on hard bread.

Oh, okay. Wet moussodel, hard bread, ham, and a fucking, and some mayo. Oh, shit. Well, that way's, that way is, like, the 10,000 wait-watcher point away here. Oh, that fucking wet mizadella, a fucking kid. You don't see wet mutz out here. Out here they call it buffalo muts. When I grew up in North Bergen, you go into a fucking thing,

and there's always a bucket full of salty water, and there's white ball in there. You got a prosciutto, a nice imported prosciutto. You slice it thin. You get a little fucking, you slice that moussadale, fucking nice and thin. You put it on a piece of hard bread. Good googly-mooly. You get stoned to the fucking bone, and you eat that.

But it was just nice that Mike Dolce came up, and I was like, at first, I was pretty fucking, like, I didn't eat in front of him. But before he came, I had a protein shake. I had one of those Rich Gaspari, my select whatever protein shake. I'm trying to have one of those extra every day. I'm going to just stick to Weight Watchers

and the protein shake just to get the extra protein. And it was just great that he showed up. He watched the fucking fights. What did you think of the fights, Lee? I loved him. They were, it was probably one of the better cards that I've seen for a while, and I'm a fan because I started working with you

and all that stuff, and I've started liking it, but I'm not like really, I don't really know everyone's, name and everything. Right. No, no. But it was really, it was great. The only, and people, people, like, their favorite fight was the Anderson Silva fight. I would rather had seen someone

else because the fight was, it didn't help anyone and it was kind of a waste of time. And I made a good point. If he went, if he loses, what would he have lost his belt? No, and I looked it up. It was a, it wasn't a title fight. It was just, he wanted to save the event and

Stefan Bono was coming back from retirement. So it was, yeah, when I thought of yesterday. He's like, well, he's not going to, nothing is going to happen. It's a fight, and he's going to destroy him, and he destroyed him. It's fucked up because when Kevin was, Kevin Bono, whatever, Stephen. Stefan Bonner was on the floor who went up to his chest. I see him

look around. He's like, where's fucking Joe Silver, you cock sucker? I'm at home, retired, mind of my own business. I've got to come all the way to Brazil, get a knee in the fucking chest. You know what I'm saying? I live in Chicago. I can get a knee on the corner any time I fucking want. I got to take a flight for 19 fucking hours to be surrounded by

these savages and get a knee to the fucking, let me tell you how I feel about Anderson Silver. For years, I hung around with Joey Rogan and Eddie Bravo and they would always talk about fighters and I'd sit in the back of the car like a fucking Momo. I never liked the UFC. I've turned

it on one time and I've seen some fat guy with a ponytail fighting some fucking jujitsu guy or some shit. And I was like, this ain't fucking right. And I turned it off and I never watched it again. And when Joe would talk to me, I'd yes him to death and say, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, get the fuck out of here. I'm a Bruce Lee fucking fanatic you know, put on with that fucking professional wrestling and heat fucking shit.

And I watched it. When I was home, mine at my own, it was the weirdest fucking thing. I was at home, minding my own business, and the UFC was on. And they said, Anderson Silver, and I remember them told him, and I'm talking about Anderson Silver is the best fighter in the world. I go, let me see what this fucking dude looks like. And out comes this little black, skinny, wide receiver-looking motherfucker. You know, Lanky, and he fought Chris Levin.

And it was like an annihilation. It was something that I had never seen before. It was like three punches, a kick, and a knee. He wasn't even in a fucking fight, Chris Levin. It was just an onslaught. Oh, no, and I'm not saying that he's not an amazing fighter. No, no, no, no. It's just like, like, those UFCs cost hundreds of dollars a seat,

and you're going to go there and watch him destroy someone who he knew he's going to destroy. But the whole thing was that I've seen that, and my head blew up. I had never seen nothing like that. Okay. And about two weeks later, I make a Joey Karate video. I fucking get online and I watch all his fucking fights. Anything that's available to me, I watch and I was blown away. So I was coming back from Chicago and I'm sitting on this plane.

I'm thinking, I'm going to do a video today about giving out picks for M.M.A. I'm going to do it based on Anderson Silver when I made the fucking video. Joey Karate won when I don't know what came out of my mouth. It was 400 pounds. But it's funny. A week later, I got a call from Eddie and they're like, this dude wants to talk. This is a true story. They go, this dude wants to talk to you.

Ed Suarez. He's a good friend of mine. So he calls me and he says like, hey, I'm in the Silver's manager. We want to meet with you for lunch because we have some ideas. So I met him in Hollywood, and we went to the, I forget the name of the Chinese restaurant, terrible. But he brought nine fucking Brazilians with him. Really? Wow. But it was funny because one day I saw him at the hotel. I was staying at the, we went to watch one of the fights, and I saw him at the hotel before that.

And as he was walking past me, I said something. In Cuban, like very hard. and he kept fucking looking at me. I talked like a hard-nosed fucking cube and he kept looking at me. And it was funny that we went to lunch and I became a fan. I'm a real fan of Anders and Silvers.

So for the last five fucking years when I watched Anas and Silver, you just know there was a lot of fights I could have gone to his and I wouldn't go because I didn't want to see him get into a fight. Like I don't like watching him fight live. The last time I went, I took the hit of acid with Ari when he kicked whatever in the fucking face.

Oh, yeah, through the thing. So I'm a fan of his. And it's funny that people talk shit about the guy. The guy makes these guys look like kids. And I watched an interview with Dana White. He's 36, 37, or something like that. And he's older than Stefan Bonner. He's older than the guy who was retired.

And apparently he says he wants to go for five more years, which would be around 10 to 15 fights. He'll do it. He'll do it. You know, and listen, John Jones is going to fight him. He's going to have to fight John Jones. Maybe Chale again. And you know, it's funny that Mike Doche works with Chale.

And I love Mike Docher, and I love Chale. But Chale talked to all this shit. But what people forget is he lost two fucking fights to Anderson Silver. Bottom line, whether he beat the fucking Anderson beat him in the fucking fifth round, my friend. Yeah. Which that's the champion. That's what champions fucking do. They come from behind after you beat him up.

And the way he fights is the most genius system because he makes you make a mistake. You make a mistake not even thinking about it. because it gets in your head during the week who you're fighting. So no matter what, you're always looking for something. You don't know what's going on. It's like I told you when Nogera fought. And he pinned Dave Herman, that fucking genius that said he don't believe in Jiu-Jitsu. Even though he knew all the fucking defenses against the fucking...

Whatever, he says he don't believe in fucking Jiu-Jitsu. Look what happens. He goes to Brazil and gets fucking his head fucking turned around. Rick Story, Damien May, a great fucking fight. The blood was coming out of his mouth. Oh, you know. Rick Storries are great. fighter and he's a young kid and he came out throw they threw him you know and the beginning

he came out throwing some heat then they threw him to the mouth of the line a couple guys that Damien Maya goes to show you how great he is on the fucking floor I don't mean I still don't know what happened I didn't look like I don't even want to watch it because he didn't it wasn't his nose it came out of his mouth I don't even know where that blood came from it just something sometimes you can punch in the mouth you hold you're shutting your mouth and all so it just spits out it didn't come out of no way he's okay he got up he's probably at home beating fucking jumping uh he's probably a home eating fucking special K or op-meal or some shit right now, you know what I'm saying?

And then that other fight, Phil Davis and that Brazilian guy? That was a great fight too. The fight that really fucked me up was Tocera, whatever his name is, that they tout him as this fucking monster. He fought Fabio Maldonado last night. Okay. Glover, Tocceria, who is? He's a hard hitter, but he couldn't fucking finish Moldonado for a long time.

You know, and it's amazing when a fight he goes in with a lot of hype like that, and you're expecting it. I mean, yeah, he punched him in the head, but Maldonado got him with a couple fucking left hooks too. So it was a great card all around. I'm happy you fucking came out. Lee. Lee.

Lee. I was in Portland, Oregon last weekend, Lee. Let me tell you something about Portland, Oregon. They ain't fucking around up there. And I've always known this one. I went up there with Joe. I knew that. It was just craziness.

I had never seen anything like that. In 2011 or two, yeah, what is it? In 2012? In 2011, I went on a few dates with Joe. One of them was Milwaukee, and the other one was Portland, Oregon. And I was blown the fuck away at the level of fucking heart in these cities. Portland, Oregon, they don't have no medical marijuana stores.

You're allowed to grow it yourself. Oh. But everybody's got weed. Everybody. Everybody smokes weed. Everybody's got weed. It's like fucking Woodstock up there, 1960 fucking nine. The flying Jew in the fucking house, everybody's got weed.

Everybody's smoking. From the minute I got to the fucking hotel, I smelled weed. And there was a Crown Hotel of one of those nice plazes. of hotels. I snuff fucking weed. Then you go to the club and everybody who showed up. I came home with a bag of weed to knock your socks off. The show was great. Helium was great. If you came on Thursday night,

thank you very much. You took pictures, but something really weird happened Thursday night that I want to talk about. Some lady came up to me and gave me a bag. As soon as the show went that I was taking pictures with people. And she came up and she goes, listen, I'm sorry. I have to work. I have to pee. I have to go home. But this is a present for your baby. Really? And I

looked at it and it was wrapped and there was a car. And I said, you know what, man? This is weird. My wife is nine months pregnant. She's going to have the baby in January, and she's seven months pregnant or whatever the fuck it is. And this lady, and the whole night I took pictures, and I had the bag in my hand.

And every time somebody gave me weed, I put the bag in there. It was like a gift bag that I had. And I'm not saying this story because I want presents for the kid. Let me tell you what fucking happened. So I didn't look in it, and I got on the plane the next morning,

at 5 in the morning, 45 minutes I was a security line at fucking LA at Portland airport and the funny thing was I was gonna run to the account and get a priority to sneak in the priority link because they were watching I couldn't even sneak in and they were like it doesn't matter the lines backed up I mean even even the first class people were fucking backed up

and I watched the guy and I actually made it to the thing before he did but anyway getting back to the story just to let you know about people and what goes on in your mind and your heart I'm sitting there and I'm sitting there with my wife Friday, Friday night, and we're watching something on TV. And I go, oh, fuck, I got to give you something. Somebody gave me a thing for you.

So it was funny when I was carrying it into the living room, I took the card out and opened it up. The girl's name was Lisa. She didn't leave the last name. But I sat on the couch and my wife signed up chair, and she opened it up, and it was just the cutest baby clothes, like the clothes you bring home from the hospital. Uh-huh. And it was all small sizes, and my wife was picking it up, and she smiled from side to

And I was sitting there and it was the first time really that the reality of what's coming into my house I mean, I'm taking this on levels. It's really weird for me. Like most guys would be excited. I take life from levels. I don't get excited until I fucking see it. I'm from the church of what's happening now. That's what it is to be part of the church of what's happening now.

When it gets here, we fucking deal with it. You want me to jump up and down. I got other things on my plate. If I walked around thinking about the kid all the time and him coming, I'd be like those guys. You see, oh my God, I'm like, what the fuck? There's life in front of you. You got to deal with every fucking day. When the kid comes, then we'll get down.

That's what the church is all fucking about. But I'm sitting there and I look over at my wife and she's looking at these kid clothes and I see the smile from side to side on my wife's face and I'm looking at this and I'm like, can you believe this that a lady that listens to me on Twitter or a podcast

or somebody who supports you? Who's a friend? Because like I've said many times, you guys are not fans. We're all friends. We're connected. When I do a show, I'm talking to you. You know, 20 years ago there was a poster of Julia Serving or a poster of fucking Richard Pry. And you never got the chance to meet that guy. Now we can meet everybody. We can meet athletes through Twitter, musicians through Twitter. So this is a great thing we have.

Oh, absolutely. But it was just amazing that a person that we have a bond on Twitter or Facebook made this happen. She made my fucking night. You know, life for me, you know, when you watch a documentary movie shot, people always say that I call. I'm a good caller. I always check in with people. That's how I was raised. Fucked whitten. Fuck messaging. Fuck, text messaging.

You communicate. And my philosophy always was was making somebody's day. Even if you're having a shitty fucking day sometimes. Sometimes you go, you know what? Let me make that person's day because maybe tomorrow somebody will make my day.

I mean, listen, making my day, I don't want your money. I don't want your fucking, you know, you'd pick me up and take me somewhere, buy me a present, nothing. Making my day is as simple as

making me smile. Making me fucking smile. Wow, what a beautiful thing that somebody calls you and, you know, somebody gave you a ticket on your car, you forgot your lunch at home, you forgot your credit card,

you know those days by 10 o'clock, and all of a sudden, the middle of all this fucking commotion, somebody calls you and says something to you, calls you a fat cock sucker or reminds you a week before and you hang up the phone, you go, you know what,

no matter how bad I was feeling, I feel a lot better than I. I always believe in making somebody's dead. but even if you're having a shitty day there's nothing world with making somebody's day and you know what I forget sometimes I forget I'm very lucky I forget that I make a lot of people's day

by doing that so in turn people make my day and I tell you what she made my fucking wheat and it wasn't weed related it was nothing it was just some baby clothes or a little hat and I can see my wife smile on her face and just it was the warmest moment I got little fuzzies on my fucking ball lick and it's important

like the nicest thing about it is that she didn't make you open or say, oh, how nice am I or anything? She handed it to you and left and it's just the thought to count. Didn't even fucking put a last name on it. And Lisa, if you're listening or whoever went to the show at Lisa in Portland, Oregon,

tell her thank you from the fucking bottom of my heart. I love what you did. You know, by you giving a little present to somebody, it turned me around. It made me think of my baby girl. So thank you very much. And I'm not looking for presents, so please don't fucking send me no baby presents.

I'm not in the fucking boot to open. But it's funny how... It's funny you said that. I was watching something on TV. You ever see how on TV people not have fundraisers, but they have these donation things. I'm gonna telephone.

No, no, well, people come to your house and you show people that you donated $50,000 and you get the event catered and people come up to you and say, what a sweet donation, thank you. Those people have always fucking bothered the fuck out of me. You know, there's nothing nice

like doing something nice for somebody, not even mentioning it. Just make... I remember in hotel rooms. I used to always leave wheat in the desk or something. I can just imagine. You lose your luggage, you open up the drawer, maybe somebody left the toothpaste,

and there's a fucking mud waiting for you. And you know what? When you're a killer, you'll figure out how to fuck to smoke it. You'll stick a knife in it and light on fire and stick it. You'll do something, you know what I'm saying? But it's amazing how I went to, like, the University of Colorado, they had like these walls, and I guess for whatever piece,

amount of money you put down, they give you a fucking thing, and they put your name on it, you know, donation from the whatever family, but then you looked at some part and said, donation unknown or unanimous and say, and it would do something for me. That's a real human being.

It's weird how I said once on the podcast that having characters with nobody's watching, having characters doing something with nobody's watching. That makes a big difference. Yeah, anybody could fucking write a check and smile and go, look at me. I gave $50,000, this is, I'm special,

but it's the people who just write the fucking check or just do something and they don't want nobody enough. You know, nothing bothered me more when I was a kid and somebody would say, dog, you broke? Yeah, there's 20 bucks. And then two weeks later in front of 20 people, they go, yo, what the fuck? I gave you 20 bucks last week.

Don't give it to me next time. Give it to me if you're going to shut your fucking mouth. If you're not going to shut your fucking mouth, don't get me nothing. That's it. You know, and those are people that are really your friends. They don't have to say nothing. When you do something nice with somebody,

you need to say nothing to nobody. No, because I had to drive down there give him 50 bucks he was broke just shut your fucking mouth maybe he called you because he was broke and he was fucking embarrassed you know how embarrassing it is to fucking be broke never mind to ask somebody to lend you 10 bucks or give you 20 bucks

or give you a ride somewhere so if you gonna do something for somebody especially today on the motherfucking lord's day you might as well do it from the bottom of your fucking heart Lee these people want locks you know us we're like fucking three and two three and one we only lost one game so far yeah we're doing good we're doing fucking good of it I

I told everybody in the beginning of the season, especially on these gambling shows, that if you bet fucking with your head, you can make some fucking Scott-A-Holl at the end of the year. End the fucking story. You bet with your head, you'll make some fucking Getus.

Okay? Nice and easy. No drama sales. One pick, you look at it. Even how many games are it? 17, 18? How many football games are there? Let's see.

Yeah, something like that. Yeah, 17 plus the playoffs. Oh, during the season. So it's 17 weeks. So let's say there's 17 fucking weeks. You can go seriously. If you think about it, anybody can go 14 and fucking 4, 14 and 5 with still nine net winners.

That means if you bet 100 a fucking week, you still made $900 months over $900 over three months. I hope you're betting a little fucking more on these with these locks that me and the flying Jew sit up all night to give you. There's a lot of fucking good games here. You understand me? I don't believe in that 8 o'clock game, but sometimes that's where the answer is.

You just bet that. That's it. Just the 8 o'clock game. Forget about fucking 10. and forget about the 1 o'clock because that's two more chances. There's a bunch of great games on the board. From New England to Seattle to Buffalo Bills, Atlanta, we were busting our heads over.

I like, from the bottom of my heart, I love the Houston Texans that are at home. I've always loved the Houston Texans at home. I don't know why. I'm a big fan of the city of Houston. Big shout out to one of the best food fucking cities in the country. People don't know, and if you don't know, now you motherfucket-knocked know, cocksuckers.

even the flying Jew go to Lola's today get fucked up at Lola's go to that place on Berry Hill Oh my God I would go for I would let somebody

serve a finger up my ass for a tamale A breakfast tamale from Blueberry Hill And some fucking Lime-made and shit like that If you go over there Blueberry Hill

Tell them join on Sundays And the one in the gay name But I forget what it is I love that fucking place The old lap stop I haven't been a Houston It's good

On West motherfucking gray That whole name but I forget to name it right now. It's slightly gay and very yuppie. But they have Barnabees. Oh, my God. That's a gay restaurant. I fucking love it.

I think they fucking come on the meatloaf. It's delicious. They have meatloaf over mashed potatoes. I can go for that today. They got a Puerto Rican restaurant. They got so much fucking food in Houston, Texas. And the prices are cheap, and they give you the biggest servings because it's Houston Texas.

Fucking Lola's? Oh, my God. What I do to eat at a fuck? Not Lola's Chewis. It's like a Mexican... What do you call it? Like a Mexican... I don't even know what the fuck it is.

Southwest or whatever style. Tex-Mex? Oh, they got these swirl margaritas, frozen margaritas. Your little asshole go, ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. They got this Elvis chicken on Wednesday. Elvish chicken.

It's chicken dipped in fucking cereal, cornflakes. Oh. Which, oh, yeah, yeah. The piece of shit that comes out of your ass, the farts that come out on the plane are tremendous. But Mondays at Chewis is sour cream, chicken enchiladas. I haven't been there in eight years

and I still dream about those. You know why? Fat man alert, fat man alert, cock suckers. I will tell you where the best food is. Fat man alert, you little filthy fucks. What's going on, Lee? How's the diet going on? We're going to try, Lee.

That's it. No, we're going to try. I'm going to give you the Mike Dolce book today. And the thing that I talked to Mike about yesterday was is that I, there's a lot of people like it. I work 10 hours a day. A little bit. You're not allowed to fucking talk unless you smoke dope.

I'm telling you. He saw me smoke. Yeah, you're talking. took one little hit like a little fucking girl scott you know you took a hit and you give him back to me i'll take so nah now you get nothing anyways anyways um yeah people people people who i work a long time and cooking for me isn't something that i do to relax there's some people i know who love cooking after a long day that's just not how i am i can't go home at and especially when i go home at six in the morning that's the last thing i want to do is cook a healthy

thing so my my thing is i want to cook at the beginning of the week like the whole thing if i'm going to even do that but he he says he He cooks Sundays and Wednesdays for half an hour a day and cooks like these really simple chicken things and he had these delicious spicy corned blue chips last night and some Greek yogurt he said is really good and for me it just has to be simple because otherwise I'm just going to go to some way. I'm going to say something, brother, right?

I was 415 pounds. I couldn't breathe. I used to have to wear underwear when I went to the fucking gym because as I was throwing punches, my piss would come out of my dick. Jesus. It was my breathing either controlled my lungs or my fucking parts. Like I could have a piece of shit for a lot of my ass in the ring when I was getting beat up. It was amazing.

And I learned something real important, man. Listen, I love eating now. Me and you can eat out all day. The problem with me and you is you don't like lifting the rock for big food, so you'll eat fast food. And I understand. And that there's no future in fast food. No, the best thing about my, look at my mother. My mother did all these bad things, but she never let me eat.

fast food. I don't know why. From the time I got off that fucking plane in Cuba, there was a KFC in Manhattan, the McDonald's. I was not allowed to even walk in front of it for some reason. I don't know why. And my mom didn't either. My mom cooked almost probably five or six nights a week, usually even seven.

Where it started getting bad with me was when I got a license and then I went to school in Boston. And for people who live in a city, you know, I mean, around every corner is a great place to eat and you don't have to cook. Yeah, but you guys are part of the fucking fast food generation. You guys really, really depend too much on fast food.

And when you're at a certain weight that you need to lose weight, you need to stop going out even if you're counting points. Even if you're counting points. Because at the end of the day, you really don't know what those people are putting in their food. So you don't know. You know, the only way you find out is when you cook it yourself. So here it is, Lee. Here's plain and fucking simple.

You get up. You don't eat breakfast. That has to stop. Yeah. First thing you do when you get up and you're going to walk to the thing, eat an apple because that'll get your metabolism going in the fucking morning. You eat an apple right there before you brush your teeth. If you don't want to brush your teeth, eat the fucking apple.

I'd rather you eat the apple. Doche wants you to drink water. If I drink water, I have a nervous breakdown. When empty water, like cold water, just goes into my stomach at first. Oh, you're sick. It tightens up on me. So I can't do that. So eat an English muffin.

I don't care what you eat as long as you get something in your system. A cup of yoga. I know, and it sounds like a lot of cup of yoga, which it is. It is a lot for me, but I always try to do something. You know, a lot of people in his book, he talks about water even before coffee. Okay. Because it gets your system going.

If you don't want to eat for three hours after, I'm cool. But you're not eating in the morning, that makes you fat. Okay. You got to eat six meals a fucking day. You got to eat six meals a day. So you got to eat a breakfast, a middle, a lunch, and a dinner, and then three snacks around it. Go to the fucking 7-Eleven, go to a thing and buy yourself a box of no-sugar protein bars to start off with. Okay.

You know, when you eat those for a snack, that's your snack covered. When you get home at 5, if you want to make an 8-ounce, Slim Fast, but Slim Fast sucks. All that shit sucks. You know, with a diet, I want, like I thought for me.

So, let's say I get food sent to me. What if I travel? What am I going to eat that fucking food on a plane? No. You know, these people who say, oh, my God, how about this new milkshake? You do this for 10 days?

So, okay, that's great. But what are you going to keep eating milkshakes for the rest of your life? No, you don't. So now you're fucking yourself. You're clean yourself to live. You just, Losing weight for the fucking time.

You know what? I went from 415 to 273 or something, and now I'm up to 300 pounds. But I still kept 150 fucking pounds off. That's a lot of fucking weight. And here it is planning simple. One egg, one piece of toast, a couple pieces of bacon for fucking breakfast.

That's 2, 4, 5 with the butter. That's 7 fucking points. Then about 10, you got to have a little protein shake, a little 8 ounce, little protein shake. than a fucking few apples. You know, when you're trying to lose a bunch of weight, especially through weight watches, they want you to fucking eat fruit

seven times a day if you weigh over 300 pounds. The fruit pushes everything out, bro, believe it or not. Because people think that just... And I'm one of those guys. I thought just because I work out, you know, that'll make me lose weight. No one does. Diet is 70 fucking percent of it.

Diet is 70 percent of it. So you've got to dip into the diet thing. And Lee, I hate the cook. I fucking hate cooking. But I know that for me to lose weight, to stay healthy, I got to do some shit at the house. So you have to measure. He has a great spaghetti dish that you cook. That is turkey, ground turkey with some sauce and tomatoes.

Oh, and you probably cook a bunch of that. There you go. Three days in a row. And then you make the chicken because you don't want it to last all fucking week. You know, Lee, things are going to happen in your life. You are going to slip and be hungry when you go out. Then think smart. Give me a fucking cheeseburger with no.

No fucking mayonnaise, no ketchup, cheese, onions, it's plain, it's eight fucking points. If you don't eat the french fries and you have a diet soda, you don't do too fucking bad. Yeah, you could take the bun off too. Yeah, you plan your fucking day, man. And it's just knowing that every meal you tried to do the best you could. You know what, this meal, instead of eating mashed potatoes, I'm going to get fucking salad today. Or fruit. You know how bad it is to get cheeseburger with fruit?

If I'm sitting there and I see you eat a cheeseburger with a fucking fruit, I'll probably shoot you my fucking self. You follow the same thing? I mean, but every time if you do a little bit of help, it's so much better. At least everything helps you. I never knew. Like yesterday, I got home with my wife. I went to see Argo, good movie. My wife, we had some barbecue, and I came home and I lived a clock, and it was 10 to fucking five.

I was going to meet Mike Dolce at 6.30. Five years ago, I would have said, ah, I ain't got enough time. But I know in my heart, if I get in that car, it takes me six minutes to get to the IMCA. If I got on that bike for 20 minutes, if I got on the treadmill for 20 minutes, and if I hit the bag for 20 minutes, that's an hour. I just burnt. 300, ah.

I just made me burnt 250, 60, 300 calories, which doesn't make you, break your 6 or 7 points, but I oiled my fucking joints, I moved some fucking fat around, you know, to loosen up the thing. Even if it was for one hour. So if you do that three times a fucking week,

it will help your body. I'm 50. I just took a fucking blood test last week. I got no... My other buddy in Jersey is 185 pounds. He's pre-diabetes. I'm not pre-diabetes.

I'm not anything because I'm working out and that makes that insulin go the other way. Okay. You know, if it's in your system and you're a little heavy, you don't want to fuck with that diabetes.

Oh, God's... God bless for Tres O'Neill on his Lord's Day. That's what he died from. Diabetes will take a motherfucker dog. You don't ever want to go into that room. And the only thing that cures diabetes, really, is either shooting yourself,

or do an exercise. If you exercise on diabetes, it turns that shit the other way. Your insulin shoots up and you kill that shit. And I know this. It's so important. You know, sometimes I'm thirsty. I want to crack a soda. You saw last night in front of Doche, I only drank one soda.

The rest of the time I was drinking green tea and fucking water. You drink, I bought that fucking thing to have in my house, that water, and I put it right in front of the refrigerator. So every time I go in there, worst case than I leave a glass on top of it. Because even if I do three ounces of water, It's way better than three ounces of soda. Yeah. Lee, it's just the little things.

I know that half the fucking country, me, all of us, were a bunch of fat fucks, half of us. And all we have to do is try a little bit and we get big results because it'll happen. It's just habit. And so when I go to work, you wouldn't believe how many people I see eating in their car. And the people who work all the time

and the thing Mike Dolce said last night, it's just habit. Every time I've lost a little bit of weight, it's because I got in a habit and I did it every day. and it's because I've had 24 years of not doing it and it's hard to break that habit which is why it's hard for me

but the only thing is you have a habit I have a habit but if you do little things every day to work towards eliminating that habit you'll be fine I could see you losing a ton of weight you're a young man you're 24 years old yeah I need to where you all you got to do is kick up the fucking jams but I'll tell you what's important preparing

preparing is important preparing your day, preparing your week, where you're gonna fucking be. Those people that are eating in their cars aren't preparing. They didn't prepare. You know, sometimes I want to leave you out. My wife gets a cantaloupe. My wife gets a watermelon. We cut it up.

I always have green and red apples in there because I know that all helps. Sometimes I go, you know what, I am going to eat that fucking thing that's going to kill me. But I'll eat an apple first. Just to cover a little bit of space in my stomach. Everything fucking helps. I love bread. I love Italian bread. I love everything, dog.

I love fucking eating. I like shit and I like smoking dope. You know how we fucking do it, Lee. The album of the week this week, let me tell you something. I know you guys don't want to hear this, and I have to drop it on you. And I dropped it on Lee a long time ago because everybody from Boston thinks that the feather in their cap

is the Red Sox or the Bruins or whatever or the fucking Celtics. And I love all that shit. But my love for fucking Boston, my love for Boston has always been the attitude of fucking Aerosmith. Arrow Smith ruled when I was a kid. Yeah, you had Zeppelin and Nehul and Pink Floyd and all these things, but they were considered a fucking toxic twins.

And one of the albums that really hooked me on me, wasn't even the first album with a self-titled album, with Aerosmith, and every time when I look in the mirror and walking the dog is in there, there's a lot of good fucking music on the first Aerosmith album. But Aero Smith, too, what people don't realize is you'll have your whole life to prepare for your first album. The second album is how you really judge a band,

because now they have to tape this album while they're on tour, while they're doing drugs, while they're getting their dicks up, while they're in the top of their fame. After your first time, when you hit, you're right there. That's as heavy as you're going to be.

You're the new kid on the block. It's the best feeling you win a couple of Grammys. I'm not saying they won Grammys, but you're the new kid on the block. The second album is the true test, and that's when a lot of people fucking fizzle. That's when a lot of people fizzle. And the great bands,

if you look at this second album, you'll go, wow, now I understand. Most, most, Most notably Zeppelin, too. Listen to that fucking masterpiece of an album. But when you listen to Aerosmith, their second album is an album called Get Your Wings. I was turned out by the sound by a kid called Mikey Denny.

They used to call him the devil. Mike Denny lived in a house with three other fucking brothers and a sister that was hotter than shit. Jane Denny, she's on Facebook. Mike Denny today is in fucking prison. He's in prison for killing his wife, Mike Denny. They called him the devil. He was a wrestler. He was like five foot two. He had a brother,

Jimmy Denny, who had no teeth, thought he was Jimmy Page. Jimmy Denny had a girl that held out with him that sucked like 18 dicks one night when I was a junior in high school. They used to call a Marathon Woman. She sucked like 18 or 20 fucking dicks my junior year in high school.

And she didn't suck my dick. Trust me, at that time I was a fucking prude. But I used to see her in high school and people used to torture a Marathon woman. Then they had another brother who did something. I don't know what the fuck he did. The father owned the ship company where they were ship contractors.

So once you park your fucking ship after a long journey. Mike Denny and his father will come on your ship and clean and fix all the parts that were broken, paint. They were tremendous. Okay. He's how I got my driver's license.

I never took a New Jersey driver's license, dog? Oh, you told me this? Come on down. Come on down. I never even took a driver test. They showed up. I gave the man a check, and he gave me a fucking piece of paper. Bam! So anyway, the fucking Mike Denny used to have an RX7.

So, you know, I had to hang out with somebody and when you were a kid, you had to have a friend that had a car. When my mother first died, Mike Denny was one of those friends. And I told his day I like Mike Denny. He always was cool to me, even though people called him to death when he fucked a lot of people over from blow and whatnot. But Mike Denny turned me on to this album.

It was Errosmith, Get Your Wings. And a lot of people don't know is that these are five junkies from fucking Boston. When you look at Erosmith, that's what I think about. Five guys that were just young kids had no direction. Did this first album, the second album, it was the age of heroin. And when you listen to this and rocks, these albums are masterpiece.

And I told Lee a thousand times. You know, there was no Twitter or Facebook that you didn't put your song on fucking whatever and people listen to it. These five motherfuckers made a name for themselves from Boston. Boston's on this side of the fucking country, motherfucker. And they just took it state and they crawled over and made some great albums. And one of my favorite albums of all time is rocks because everybody had written them off. They kept saying, oh, they're on heroin.

They're never going to do nothing with their life. Fuck you. They came back from back in the saddle. Nobody's fault. But this album is the masterpiece. And this is one of my favorite cuts, Woman of the World. Play that motherfucker at least.

Again, in my fucking realm, Joe Perry's got to be up there. This guy is a phenomenal guitarist and this album will prove it. Train kept the Rollins on this album. Fucking SOS is on this album. Same old song and dance. Too bad.

I mean, it's a fucking masterpiece. So if you're into Aerosmith, do you want to hear a good fucking album? Listen to this. blast that motherfucker lean. Oh shit. This is when Stephen Taller was Steven Fucking Tauer.

This is when he was getting 19 blow jobs a night by toothless chicks with fucking cavities, so his dick would get a cavity, too. Uh-huh, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-a-woman. What? Yeah, baby. You know, I try, that's right, that's right.

So hard to please her. Might be gone to my robo. What is all you're doing? Turn that shit off. That's too much, dog. This is what I'm talking about. I'm giving your fucking music. You're getting diet tips from Lee Syatt,

aka the flying fucking Jew and Heat. We're just going to add that tag in heat because it's Sunday. You're the flying Jew and Heat on a fucking Sunday morning. Oh, so did we give them the football pick? I think we talk about it. The football pick is the Houston fucking Texans against the Green Bay Packers. The regular line is three and a half.

The over and under is what? 48 and a half. This one that says 46.5. 46.5. All right. So I got five dimes. EU is 46.5. 46 and a half. They're all 46.5. They're all 46.5. We're going with the under on that. We're giving you the under. We're still

fucking 3 and 1 for the year or 4 and 1. So we haven't really done that bad. We didn't give it out of UFC pickers. Again, I like, I don't like giving those out. I like giving them out after the fucking weighing and we do this thing too early. And I got to fucking talk about something real quick.

Like I said, man, I'm really, a year, two years ago, I went on Joe Rogan's podcast, and I talk some shit about Twitter, the people. I am so sold on it. And even this, what happened, I had to get a new Twitter page. You know, and a lot of people follow me. And I got to tell you, I got some good fucking people who take care of me. Al Orange, Whiskey Jack, you know, olibas. I got good fucking people out there that take care of me, and they look out for me.

So I just want to give you guys a shout out there. R.J. Strocchio, I mean, these motherfuckers. You know, Gus Gansonelli who shows up. Jordan came right over. I mean, I love you guys. You guys have been around. You know, Gus Gastinelli has been around since 10, 10 of 10. He went to one of my first gigs with Felicia at Sous.

Oh, really? Gus is a good fucking man. He became, you know, we became family, and I was doing Beauty and the Beast. Talking about Beauty and the Beast, I want to tell you, motherfucker, something. This last week, we had the guys on from Eureka Vapor, finally. And I got to tell you guys. some sharp fucking guys put this company together.

They're just kids and they really made a brilliant pride and I'll tell you, everything is better on me. Yesterday I went to the movies to see Argo and I sat at the top of of the theater. The theater, at the top. Me and my wife, the very top,

and she's fucking pregnant. I didn't put enough change in a thing. I got 10 fucking calls and I had to pee. Usually I'll pee my pants before I walk up and down those fucking stairs in the movie theater because I poop out in the middle I'm embarrassed to just stand there and make believe like I'm watching a good part in the movie.

You have to walk real slow, and meanwhile, I'm huffing and fucking puffing. It's embarrassing. This thing has really helped me with the vapor. Really? You know what you're going to be a big difference? I know it's a big difference on the treadmill. You know, I was smoking a lot of weed. I'm doing, you know, an eighth of fucking damn bong hits.

You know, these big bongs, this is killing my lungs. I could feel it. When I was a kid and I'd have the fucking wheeze in my lungs, I'd go for a run, and I spit out whatever I got, I'd be back to, you know, back! Like herpes. And these guys came and broke it down for me. And it's an amazing fucking thing.

It's 65% THC. The highest you get in this area is 31%, 30%, oh shit. 28%. When you smoke this, you get 65% T8C going into your lungs. Now here's the beauty of it, guys. Every fucking week, I get some new Momo

who goes, Joey, I live in Virginia. Joey, I live in Kentucky. Send me the vapid. What are you gonna do with it? Once I send you the vapor pen, what are you gonna do? Shove it up your ass and blow smoke? These tubes run out. It's an eighth of weed in these fucking tubes.

What are you gonna do with it? Send it back to me and I'm gonna go fill it up? No. You really fucking think. I'm gonna risk everything to send you a fucking pen. So please, stop asking. It's not gonna happen. If you don't live in California, I don't know what the fuck to tell you. Don't even ask. Don't be stupid. Nothing's gonna happen.

Even if I send it to you one time, how are you? You're gonna fucking fill it up every week. But let me tell you what they added to the eureka pen, dog. This is the real killer right here. What they added to the eureka pen. This is called the nail. So you take this off. And now the big thing in L.A. is the fucking the oils and the tinctures and the tonics.

And they got this is like a hash. Okay. This is like a hash. And they call this like a wax or some shit. And what you basically fucking do is you take this piece off, which has the oil already in it. I got a cartridge. So for the audio listeners, it's a pen and a piece screws off.

It's like a, it's like an actual pen pen, and it just screw a piece off, and Joey has another piece. This is Sauer Diesel. This is Girl Scott cookies, and I forget what I have in here. But what you could also do is you can get this piece off, take it off.

You put this little piece on here. It's called the nail. That's what they call these guys at Eureka Vapor. It's called the Nail. And see, it does two things. You could smoke vapor which is good for you, or you could smoke this fucking little wax that I had to get over at Divine.

Divine's fucking great, by the way. They're getting better and better. I know a lot of people are going to Divine. I don't have a recommendation. So you take this little fucking wax, you clean this out here, tremendously, Lee, Lee, Lee. What you learn every day. And these fucking guys, I've got to give it to them.

They're just two guys that are trying to get forward and help. They love it. They love smoking the vapor. They gave me a fucking pen. Not a pen. They gave me a few cartridges to try out. But this shit, this is the Magdadi. This fucked me up the first day.

Because it's like a wax. This is what's not good for your lungs. This is not, you know, this is smoking the other shit. But just that they give you the option. You fucking cook this up. It's just like a fucking eating a chicken cutler with mashed potatoes, cream corn. Lee, cock's up, it's the Lord's Day. I'm happy you guys came on.

It's a beautiful day to be alive. Hopefully you'll be spending it with your family, your children, your mother, your girlfriend, your wife. Give them all the love you got today, man. It's the fucking Lord's Day. That's why I hate working on the Lord's Day. I ain't doing anything on the Lord's Day. Today, which on the seventh day God made Black Sabbath

and Riefer for a fucking reason. And if you're a man, today's your day, you go to a farmer's market with your wife and your kids, you fucking build the kids some type of hot wheel track. And then you watch the 4 o'clock game on your own and you can't even do that, because the kids don't give you no far. fucking light a day. You follow me. Lee,

I got to tell you something, I'm kind of buzzed up. What a surprise. Between the coffee and the vapor pen, I'm over your sweating fucking bullets. You know what I'm saying? You're even looking good over there. Anyway, it's a great week. It's going to be, this is it, October 15th, halfway of the month already.

In one month, you'll be 10 days away, six days away from fucking Thanksgiving, and four days away from that beautiful holiday called Christmas, and I'm about a week away from having a kid. so I hope it stays October 15 for a fucking month You follow me? That's hilarious

And then I wanted to bring something up from We talked last time You've seen American gangster, right? Yes There was a scene in that That I watched today And it's Denzel Washington's character And he's talking to his brother

And his brother's like at a party Like really showing off And he has this line that I've loved Ever since the movie came out And it's not even that great of a movie But I love the line He says, the loudest guy in the room Is the weakest guy in the room

Always. And last time we talked about the guys who have to make a lot of noise. Even today, the people who have to talk about, oh, I donated this and I donated that. And I just love that line. It always is. Sister Anna Marie in the fourth grade, Sacred Heart School for Boys, before I choked the nun-out. I was going to say this is the one you choked out. Sister Anna was older, and she used to say empty barrels make the most noise that I always stuck with.

Oh, shit, that's another good one. That means I'm a fucking empty barrel. You follow me? Because I'm over here yelling, screaming, making fucking noise. When I thought about, when I watched it, it's like, oh, shit, maybe I shouldn't bring it up because Joey can be loud. But the thing is with you, like, last night we're done the fights, you don't really talk much. You're a loud, you're a funny guy and you make jokes, but you don't, you're not one of the comics who I've been around other comics, and they're always talking and always making stupid jokes, and they never shut up. You can be loud and funny, but it's not like you're just saying shit, just to say shit.

No, I don't believe in that at all. It bothers me when I'm around other comics, and you can't even have a conversation because they always got to say something. something fucking stupid to be fucking cute. I'm a man. Talk to me like a man. You want to be cute? Go on stage and be cute where it fucking matters, you know. I've always believed, I hate that. Since I was a kid, I hate that.

You know, when somebody pulls up next to you with a car with a stereo blasting, are you fucking serious? Yeah. Are you fucking, are you that stupid? Are you this fucking ignorant? The guy that moves in the motherfucking darkness is, oh, and that's how Juan raised me. The next Testicle Testament is coming on October 23rd.

good testicle testament three and then we're doing testicle testament uh live October 24th at the ice house tickets are available 6-2-6-577 1894 but the way one raised me if you listen to the patois and the show was which is real importantly was that uh if you you taped the fucking thing he liked quiet he didn't think he didn't like the people i had grown up at my mother's bar where men that had made money. So they come in at night and they sit at the bar with their suit on

and everything's a big deal like Goodfellas that scene where they kill the guy. That's a dump bar. Why do you have suits on? Why do you have $900 suits to be at a quarter neighborhood bar? But that's how a lot of guys were that

because they got to make a big splash. I'm making a lot of money. I got my pinky ringing all this shit on. Listen, all you're doing is giving people a reason to talk. Because the people that'll take you down the most of the people you make jealous to have-nots.

Here you are trying to be cool and whatever. Look at my car. Look at this. That just gets people fucking go. Shut your fucking mouth. You even go to a bar and you're trying to have a meal. There's a table of guys. And they're being loud.

They're smoking cigars. They're just being jerk-offs. And no chicks are looking at you yet, but you're a fucking... I'm over here with my crew. What fucking crew? If you had a crew, you wouldn't be here. You'd be out robbing, like a real fucking crew, all right? You'd be out knocking fucking people all ripping off purses.

Never mind being at a bar. That's always. He's bothered me and it's true. You know, I used to snort Coke like a motherfucker. The last thing I want is attention. You know, you have to assume that 85% of the times I'm smoking dope. You know, when you're high, you don't want to be bothered. You imagine being in Jerry's deli trying to eat people coming up to you and Joe.

I hate that shit. So, no, I'm loud as a human being, and I'm very loud, but I know how to keep my mouth shit. My mother never told me how to fucking leave her room, and you never have to tell me to shut my fucking mouth. I know it. And that's why you don't see me with 10 comics, there's three comments. ever because what's the difference nobody can be serious we can never focus on the pain somebody was telling me that they had a friend that couldn't sit still because when you sit still

you have to face your reality oh wow you know really when you go home and that if you're not fair you have to sit still you think a shit that happens how many times you get home you had a great day and you're sitting home but you think of that ex-girlfriend that cheated on you you get fucking fired up with two fucking I'm gonna kill this dirty bitch same fucking thing you face your reality I was one of those people for a long time. But thank you for noticing. That's a great movie. You don't like American gangster? I've only, I own it.

I liked it. I was so into Man on Fire and I love Denzel. It's a good movie, but they just hyped so much. It was one of the ones where I was so excited for it. And I haven't, I've been thinking I'm going to watch it again. But I, the first time I saw it, I was like, it was good, but it wasn't, it wasn't

Man on Fire. It wasn't one of the great one. No, that movie. You know, I booked American Gangsa the first time they cast it. Oh, wow. That was cast originally. Nisha Datoro and Denzel Washington. Okay. And then the thing fell apart. Oh, okay.

And then it came back with Russell Crow and a new director and a bunch of other things. Well, no, no, I think the Stark, the whatever brothers directed that they had something to do with it. The Cohen brothers? No, fucking Colin brothers. I don't know. I don't know. You're not a fucking comedy to you? No, are you saying brothers?

No, the Scott brothers. I think they had something to do that the Colin fucking girl. I don't know. I don't know any other brothers. So, you know, I had booked it, and when I seen it, I didn't think, nothing. math, nothing makes man on fire. I was watching, another great movie of his was Remember

the Titans when he played the football coach with Opie from Sons of Motherfucking Anarchy. So, yeah, it's funny, I went to the movie through yesterday to see Argo, and I seen the big kid from Sons of Anarchy, and I turned around, he looked at me, and I looked at him, and I was like, dog,

and I gave him a big hug, the big motherfucker, and I wears the glasses. Oh, really? And then, me and Felicia were having coffee, and we've seen the guy that got blown up last season in the last episode by a landmine and we always yelled at him and say we're trying to get him on the podcast. So, sons of anarchy, two days away,

take your neighbor like her pussy hair is on fire. It's going to get good this week. He's going to go after fucking Pope. So, we talked about douchebags, we talked about Twitter, we talked about Mikey Doche, we talked about the Lord's Day, we talked about gambling. You know, I didn't go to church this morning

because I didn't fall asleep through 3 in the morning last night. I saw you roll late, yeah. Yeah, I had to write this book. I got back from the Ha-ha about 1-15. Fucking great crowd, killer motherfuckers. I went down there, laughed my ass off. Did not get a hot dog from the Mexican lady on the corner, which is some of the best hot dogs.

Have you ever hung green? You're on this side of town at, like, one, go to Lancashire by Skinny's. Don't tell me this. Oh, but at least it's healthy. It's natural. She makes chicken maritos, tacos. So I'd rather you get two chicken tacos with lettuce and tomato

than get a fucking burger from Wendy's. Yeah, of course. And they have hot dogs, but they have those men. Mexican outdoors with the wrap bacon around them. Oh, I've never had those. They go right to your asshole. They come out like a missile, but your asshole tastes the bacon.

It just takes it. It just goes, and the beaution, pia, there you go. You like that cock sucker. But anyway, I want to give a shout out to everybody who followed me over. Thank you very much.

And everybody who's making the podcast, the top 20 podcasts. I'd like to thank you. I like to thank the people of Portland for coming out last weekend. So for people who don't know for the time being, what's your Twitter? Free Joey Diaz

Until we get this fucking situation Situated You follow me Free Joey Diaz At Twitter Whatever the fuck of his Joey Coco Diaz At Facebook

If you need to send me an email Send it to fucking Beating the Beast podcast Or whatever at gmail.com I'm sure I'll get the emails there Do not forget Testicle Testaments October 24th

At the Ice House Do not forget I'm at the Ontario Improv From November 1st to November 4th and I'm in Chicago motherfucking house of blue with the other Jew

the house are blue with the other Jew the house of blue with the other Jew oh shit gotta get a banjo gotta get you like a foot pedal you know what I'm saying

no Jews can play the banjo I know who the fuck I would if I see the Jew playing the banjo be all over I'd have to take him another room stab him

and fucking rub some Jesus holy water on his face to burn them like the exorcist I love you motherfuckers I really do from the bottom of my heart I love everything you guys do I'm sorry about the

embarrassment with the Twitter and miscommunication. I should have known better than taking my balls off that. What do you have to say? Lee, anything for these fucking people? You're going to just sit there like a mama-lucalier? No, football's starting right now. Let's go and... Where the fuck you're going? You didn't bet? What do you care? What time is the Raider

game at? What time is the New England game? One o'clock. All right. So you, one o'clock, California time? So where are you going? I love them. You just want to go home to eat yum-yms, cop-sucker. I love you guys. Thank you. Have a great Sunday with your families. If you're watching on Stick-up, I love you, motherfuckers.

And we'll be back tomorrow? We'll be back tomorrow. But I can't... No, unless you download this song. Just the people will be back tomorrow. We're going to do Monday and Wednesday this week. Have a great fucking day with your family. I love you guys.

Stay black. Kiss them, Lee. There you go. Bye, guys. And this is more from the same Erasmith album. It's the same old song and dance. Oh, shit. There's your jambley.