The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - 10/29/2012 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #23

Episode Date: October 31, 2012

Joey and Lee talk about Michael Vick, getting more from your life, and the movie Angel Heart. Joey's friend Jim calls in. He was Joey's boss at Boulder Toyota and taught him about writing down goals every day. Streamed live on 10/19/2012

Yeah This album is dedicated So all the teachers that told me I never amount to nothing To all the people that lived above the buildings That I was hustling from that called a police on me When I was just trying to make some money to feed my daughter And all the niggas in the struggle You know what I'm saying?

It was all a dream I used to read What's going on? Oh shit Oh shit What's going on there Lee Sayat the fuck Flying Jew, it's Monday morning, cock sucker.

Good morning. What's happened? The church of what's happening now. Joey Cocoa Dee is my main man. Lysayat, the Flying Jew. Put that music on. Let's do this and shit. Every morning.

Let's do this shit. Kick it, kick it, dog. Because I rock tight, trying to get paid blow up like the world's trade. What? What? What? It's Monday morning, motherfuckers. You could do it again.

This is your second chance. If you got a dream, you want to stab somebody in the neck. Today's your fucking day. You know what I'm saying? It's Monday. This is why I love Mondays. And as usual, I don't work Sundays. I do comedy because I hate flying on Mondays.

That's a big thing. And if you're flying today, you haven't been listening to me, so go fuck yourself. You deserve to sit at the airport to your ass grows roots. You understand me? You're going to be sitting there like a fucking Momo for two days. Because they're not going to fly. They're going to do dick. You know, you can't fly into the East Coast.

All those planes are all fucking confused right now. You've got a connecting flight. Look at the head, Doo Lee. Looking tight in the motherfucker today. He's all excited. Then the England Patriots covered the spread yesterday. In England, they finally killed him. They fucking England.

They had it go all the way to England to cover the spread in front of the fucking Queen and Rod Stewart playing soccer with a stinky fucking toes. Jesus, but yesterday was a weird day, so that was. Yes, it was. I lost the under the Philly game, but fucking Atlanta covers, so that's all that matter. You know, people were saying, can Atlanta go 7 and O?

And they covered the spread Atlanta's for real. There's a couple teams. I, let me tell you some. When Danny told me the Jets, my heart, almost jumped out of my shirt. I never liked the fucking Jets. I don't even talk about the Jets. I can't stand watching them.

I can't believe they're in New York. Joe Namath is dead, and I don't feel so good myself. Once that motherfucker died, it was all over there. I had Kevin O'Brien for a while, and I liked all that stuff, but I can't watch him. And now with this Mark Hernandez, whatever his fucking name is, I can't watch that fucking guy. I can't watch him.

He makes me sick to my stomach. Tebow, at least put Tebow in. He's Christian. He's back there throwing fucking bombs and shit, jumping up and down. They're going to have to, But this is Rex Mayans last year. He can't lose to fucking Miami.

He sucks. Fucking the coach from Philly's got to go. He sucks. Yeah, read you. I mean, I watched Philly for two minutes yesterday. It looks like a high school team. You know, people always say to me, Joe, you're an animal level. What do you think about Michael Vick? And I got two things to say.

Number one, listen, Michael Vick did what he did, whatever. Listen, when it came on the papers, if I was seen Michael Vick, I would have stabbed him in the heart myself. I got one problem with this. I got a second chance when I got out of prison. Regardless of now, whether I put him in the prison. I listen out where they put a guy in a trunk. You know, what's it different to putting somebody in a trunk

or killing a fucking dog? You still disrespected something other than yourself. Yeah. I believe in second chances. I think people who get second chances, you know. So for me to sit here and bad Mike, Michael Vic, it's not like I'm going to go hang out with him and eat hot dogs and fucking grill and watch a game with him.

You know, I just got to watch a game or exist or coexist with this man, so it really doesn't matter to me. But I would be a really fucking big hypocrite. I love animals and I would hate when people hurt. animals. Yeah. But at the same time, I would hate to not give this guy a second chance because the second chance was given to me.

So how hypocritical could I be? I don't want to stand next to the motherfucker. I'm sure a building is going to fall on him. I'm sure he's going to walk in front of hearts one day, the animal building by mistake and the building's going to crumble on him. You know, it's so weird. I love animals. Last night, my wife's been sleeping on the couch because she's pregnant and she can't get

comfortable. So at first she starts on the bed and then she comes to the couch. But when she goes out to the couch, she ruffles all the feathers in the house. The cats start moving. They don't know what's going on. So last night, as I was going in, I went to bed late last night. I went to bed like at one. I was on Twitter fucking around letting people know.

You know, I was wishing some people happy birthday on Facebook. And it was funny because one of the cats came in with me, super bad. Yeah. It's so weird how super bad for the last four, three, three years he's put me to sleep. He comes in with me, gets under the fucking blanket leave, lets me run. And as I'm falling asleep, I can feel him. Like, he waits, and then he leaves. Really?

Yeah, and then he leaves. Then he comes back. What a lot of people don't understand was this, I'm coming up on five years sobriety next week. I'm not doing blow, which is a lifesaver for me. It's why we do this fucking podcast. That's unbelievable. It's unbelievable at the time.

What is that fucking buzz? Oh, I think my computer's running hot. Oh, no, no. I thought it was somebody mowing the lawn, but I'm like six in the morning. Mexicans are home, minding their fucking business, eating Cucci frito chips. So it's funny that a lot of people don't know the story When I brought those cats up

There's four cats in that litter And then somebody was supposed to take the two girls Lulu and Evie And I was supposed to take the two boys I was gonna, I hated super bad Because there was another cat back there That looked like Demi, Harry's brother And he was small

I still have a picture on the phone The motherfucker was the best cat you ever All I had to do is get outside and yell DJ And he would come run He was a little kitten Yeah And he would come running and I play with him, but Superbad used to make him go up into the trees and do all this shit.

So I was going to adopt DJ. I was just waiting for them to grow for them to get really big for the last minute before I brought him upstairs. I already had him. He loved me and my wife. DJ and Superbad got sick on the same day, and we brought him upstairs. And that's the story I always tell. DJ died, and I had Superbad. And one of the reasons why I stopped doing blow was because after DJ died,

I just got on my hands and knees and said, I don't want this cat to die. Superbad was just as sick. And it's funny, before that night, Superbad never even associated me and my wife. He didn't like us and we didn't like him. In fact, he's black and white and the rest of the litter is Siamese, because a lot of people don't notice a female cat could get pregnant by two cats at the same time. Really? She'd carry like two fucking litters from cats and they mix and match.

It's fucking weird. It's weird. But I know I'm no fucking anthropologist, whatever I hate to be. You know, but I didn't like him. and now he's my cat without him. I can't even sleep when I'm going to go to a hotel. It's funny how when I go to a hotel and I got to bring a fan with me and I got to make believe I'm holding it over that

and I even have to say, too bad. Oh, really? And that's how I fall asleep psychologically because he gets so close to me at night. You know, yesterday I took a nap in the afternoon. This motherfucker was playing on the bed of his hands. He's hysterical. You want to kill him, but he's your cat.

So you know what, man? I know that a lot of people live and they're not happy or whatever. If you're not happy, get a fucking ass. Whether it's a dog or a cat, knock yourself out. What the fuck we're talking about this, Lee? Anyway, with three days from Halloween, with two days from the sons of anarchy, the fucking Gemma crashed the truck with the two kids in the truck at the end of the episode. So we're on episode seven, so it's getting bigger.

The other day, some guy fucked me up on Twitter. Fuck you, Joey. You should yell, spoiler, really. Listen, it was Saturday. If you still didn't see the episode from Sunday Anarchy on fucking Saturday, when I aired on Tuesday, go fuck yourself. You fucked up. That's all I got to tell you.

What else is going on in Lee? What's happening, baby? You're happy today? You got a girlfriend now. I'm Twitter. You got a couple bitches all international life. No, it's good. He's a fucking, you know, a lot of people have been hitting me up about you and asking me, you know, what the fuck is wrong with?

Lee doesn't seem happy. He doesn't seem happy. Go Lee is a happy go lucky guy. No, I'm happy. When I come over in the morning, I'm, I'm, this is the happiest I am, but I'm after. I'm coming off of the 10-hour shifts. They're concerned about that. Like, you think you're missing a life or something like that.

And you ain't missing nothing, brother. You know what fucking missing? What? I want to be around. What's the... Lee, you're slipping. Today's Monday. You gotta play for the spirits.

My mother's fucking... Let's play this motherfucker here, Lee. No, Lee, they're not saying that you're not happy. They're saying that you want more in life. And we're all very proud of you. Here we go. Here you go. I miss it.

You told me to start with digging and then I get into trouble. No, it ain't. It's just saying, here you go, beauty. Every Monday, motherfuckers. Out of respect. You know what I'm saying? Little Tony Bennett. You smoke a number, you're vapour penny

You let your asshole on fire And you make the best of what you got It's Monday Hmm This Louis fucking pen is tremendous And there are a lot of cartridges Over at no ho CCI I'm smoking vapors here for reals

I think everyone feels like that missing something At some point I mean did you ever feel like that as a kid Even though I mean you were having fun I mean you had kind of crazy life I didn't know it was you know it was We used to call Hudson County the desert. Because there was so much, but nothing went on there.

What was the music league? Oh, okay. There you go, brother. We got a drop-a-thor. This is Tony Bell on a Monday morning. Love's company. What? He just put out a new...

I don't know if it was duets or just new songs, but there's a new album of his on iTunes. I've seen it. I've seen it. A thousand years old. Oh, shit. Fuck, Tony, Ben. Anyway.

I wasn't expecting that. You know, it's funny. I talked to George the other day. By the way, George's grandmother is finally down from the cookie. It was like 10 days. Those NoHo CC cookies, dog. That's why I don't fuck with them no more. I haven't been to NoHo CC in about two weeks.

My whole cool staff quit. You know, Viviana quit. Yeah, they all took different jobs because he cut the hours, so they don't close, they don't open until midnight no more, so I'm very relevant them over there. And, you know, now I'm hitting these vapors a lot more, So they don't have the vapor, but I feel bad. My girl Viviana Woodward left there.

She went to work at a dry cleaners with her fine ass. Oh. Yeah. How could you go from a dispenser to a dry cleaner? She got sick of it after two years. You know, they want to, she wants to go back to school. You know, people change. You know, it's funny because today I'm going to have a guy call in

that has nothing to do with what you guys usually associate with me with. In 1989, when I got out of the joint, like in all the parts of my life, I was trying to better my life and be a better individual, even though I was fucking robbing you with a shotgun, I was always trying to be a better individual. And I got a job at Boulder Toyota, which is like this white fucking Boulder store in Boulder. I used to work in Douglas Toyota,

that Bill Kraut Subaru, all these fucking dealers that were action people who were shooting heroin in the backrooms. Then I went to Boulder, Toyota. It was like the white is fucking. It was owned by the guy that owned the Utah Jazz in the 80s, and the guy that ran the store for him was a guy that looked like George Jetson. He was a Mormon.

He had a big launch pad. You know, if you were used to selling 20 cars and another dealership and you went to Boulder, the most you would sell is seven or eight because they didn't have the volume, but the manager there taught you how to get the most for your money. And there was three different managers. There was a guy, Marty Sadler, who was from Buffalo,

that I still talked to. There was a guy that was there, I forget what his name is, and I still talk to him from time to time. He's still a manager of Toyota, but the main guy, his name was Jim Handy. And for some reason, bro, the guy was from Cali, and he liked me and he took a liking to me. And when I went, I had a couple of rough months at first,

and then he sat me down one day. He goes, what do you want to do? And I told him, I wanted to be a comic, and he goes, well, you know, well, you have to sell cars until you can make that decision. I'm going to teach you how to sell cars the right way. I had been a salesman, and I thought that I was a bad motherfucker. He's like, no, no, no, no.

And this guy fucking took me from A to Z. But the whole work that he did with me was about goal setting. You know, what do you want? you know okay so right now my big goal is uh you know you want to lose weight okay so you want to go down to 250 all right what are you weigh now 300 is what you need to do you need to lose eight pounds a month how you're going to do that we all say we want to lose weight we all say wake up in the morning want to lose weight want to go back to college want to stop doing drugs you know let's just say you want to lose weight okay so he'd make you write a six-month goal

you know 50 pounds a three-month goal which would be 25 pounds and then he'd make you I had a weekly and a daily goal. So when you went into Boulder-Soyard every morning, there was a pad on top of your desk already waiting for you. And before you talk to anybody, before you got coffee, before you went outside and smoked a cigarette or weed or bullshit it, you had to fill down to three goals. So your goals were today having to sell one car.

How am I going to do that today? I got to make 10 calls. I got to take five ups, which means I got to take five customers, and I got to ask for the sale. And it really worked. And I started doing it. I started doing it to motivate myself. When we had Josh Wolf on the Beating the Beast podcast,

he spoke about after he had his separation, his divorce of many years ago, that he just rolled a goal every day to get up. Like, if I get up, it's a good day. That's how he started. Because you were saying like he lived in like a one-bedroom apartment. Yeah, with three kids, and the dog and his brother. And yeah, it was rough.

And I was on the couch. And it was really weird how he started this. And it's just the same thing I did. I didn't know he was doing it at the time. But I know a lot of people that listen to the podcast And people who are on Twitter with me And Facebook and fuck around listen to music You know, we're all lost

We're all searching for something And this guy really fucking put the goals into my life I mean to the point where I became a fucking cell album But then he took an extra step of me He knew I was unhappy And he pulled me aside when he's like dog When you're out here you're fucking rocking With these motherfuckers you should try comedy

And I was like, are you serious? And I thought he was just bullshit me I had heard it like 20 times before I had already done time. The guy told me to... I just didn't know where to start. It was frustrated. And one day I sold this car one night. When you sell a car at night, they have to wash it the first thing in the morning.

Okay. And when I went over to tell the lot guys to wash the car, his son was one of the lot guys, Jimmy Jr., who was on Facebook. It was a great kid. And he said, that's funny that you walked over here this morning. My mother and my dad aren't getting along too good. and he goes, he said on the drive here that he wishes he could just get a car

and go with you on the road. And that meant more to me that somebody had faith in me. You know, like I thought that, yeah, he was bullshit me. I don't trust any money. But when I realized that, I took his advice and here I am

and I still talk to this guy, Jim Handy. He lives in D.C. now, but he's out in California with his family. His brother's sick. So I called him last night because I wanted to give people a different perspective. You know, all the times when I was trying to rob and be a douchebag and do drugs

and fuck little midgets in the ass and all that regardless crazy shit. At the same time, I was trying to get my life together. And it was a struggle, bro. And how old were you at that point, do you think? I was probably 30, 29. I just got out of the joint. And, you know, I knew what I was doing. I knew how to handle myself, but there was something missing.

And I knew I had to get divorced. I knew how to get away from that fucking wench. I knew I had to start my life over. and I shouldn't call her a wretch. I fucked up myself. I knew I should have started my life over. You know, this guy saying those things to me, his son, is he calling? No, no, no, I just wanted to make sure he wasn't.

Yeah. So that's the crack. That's what's crack-lacket. You know what I'm saying? So he's going to call up today and talk to me about goals and stuff. This is not your usual crazy guy that's going to call up and talk about throwing a hooker out of a moving car or not like them. In fact, next week we're going to have Joey Falado on again. Talk about what's shooting,

and passing the needle 15 deep and the last guy foaming from the mouth. I have never forgotten that. I remember who he was talking about. Besides that, what time you got to leave? Let me, let me. 6.25. Oh, so we got a couple minutes. You know, it's funny because I was watching a bunch of Halloween movies this weekend.

Like a bunch of movies were on, and you walking in our American movie classics had Young Frankenstein. It is a brilliant movie. The thing about Young Frankenstein is you don't see it as much as the other movie, so when you do see it, you fucking. giggle your ass off. But I got a movie for these guys, but I got to tell you about this weekend. So I went to the laugh factor all weekend. I had some great spot.

You know, I want to shoot this special in September, January here. So it's like anything else. I got to sit down and go back to the drawing board. It was weird how we did the other special. Because for the other special, I've never done a joke again. I've never done any of those jokes again

around the CD. Yeah, I haven't already done. Very seldom. Do I do those jokes, a 1040 club or whatever? Yeah, I didn't really hear you do those jokes before. Before. You know why? Because I would just sneak them out

to a little club. and try them. You know what's crazy? The real reason I don't do those jokes is I can't find the fucking notebook. Because I had a different notebook that had the special in that was my training log

that I had those jokes and the stories handwritten out. I can't find it. I think I lost it that night. It's the fucking craziest thing. So I go to the ha-ha and flappers just to do little set to try and do little jokes.

I don't want people hearing my shit before I put it out on a CD and a mass. I'll throw a premise out there at the laugh factory just to see where it's at. And then I haul it back and then we do it and not say it until I take the special. And last night I went to the ha-ha. That's why I'm tired today. That's why I couldn't sleep last night.

I fucking fell asleep hard yesterday. Oh, yeah. You know, five workouts a week, riding, performing a couple spots, the wife, driving her. You know, it just, it really does take a toll on me. And I have a lot of fucking energy. You know, I'm going to be 50 in February. But still, man, like yesterday at 11 o'clock, we got back from whatever. did the podcast in the morning.

We got back about 12. We went, oh, she came, she went shopping. I don't even know what the fuck we did yesterday. And when I got back, I was watching the game. One of the games were on, and I said, you know, I got a nap. I nap till 4 o'clock, bro. Yeah, me too. I was a four fucking hour nap, you know.

And I got up, and I wrote a little bit, and I cleaned up, and I washed my pussy. And I went down to the hot. And last night was like a pseudo-open mic. And I saw a girl go down there. Her name was Manix or Manor or something like that. The fucking girl was amazing. Really? That's great. But here's the thing.

She was the type of girl that she was naturally funny. She was very charismatic. She was cute, you know, but she wasn't. She didn't have chops. Like she didn't have 25 years of headlining under her or 10 years or whatever. She probably done comedy for a year. But this girl's already a star. Like if somebody sees her, she's already a star.

She's funny enough to be on a TV show. Wow. You know, like a lot of people are. That's why you don't see them again after a TV show because then this becomes work. Now you've got to do the work. And there's a lot of people in their 20s who come here. They're very personable.

They have a little humor to them, which I got nothing against, you know. Then they get to a show. And it's as funny as they need to be for that show. What her next move is will be up to her. But when I left there, I talked to a bunch of open micas outside. And it's so nice to talk to young guys. Like, I don't ever want to be in a position like they weren't fucking rubbing my balls.

And we were just talking about movies and comedy and what you need to do. in the amount of sets and talking to them inspires me. When I go to watch an open mic, like I'll sit in the back. I'm not there to criticize them, but I'm not there like that. That's not me. I know what it is to start off in comedy, and I know how hard it is, and then what society and the media and life has for you.

So I'm not there to criticize. I go watch and I get inspired by these young kids. That was me 20 years ago. I mean, I was an old man when I started. I was already 28, but that was me. And I understand their pain. And I'm watching them, and I see how happy they get I mean, there was nine people in the audience, and six of them were comedians.

Wow. You follow me? There was two guys from a recording studio right around the corner, but that's what I have to do to get back on my feet, like to get back. I've been struggling stand-up-wise this year because everything happened so fast. I had the CD written, and you know me, I try to write as much as I can, but then I had all these jokes. I had all these road gigs that I had gotten, and I didn't have enough material for them. So I only have Chicago, November 8th. I've got Ontario this weekend, which I'm fucking excited.

about. Yeah. You know, I've got some material rolled up today, and then December and January,

I'm just going to stay in and do local gigs. I'm doing the end of the world with Rogan. I'm doing December 13th at the madhouse

in San Diego. But, you know, it takes two or three months to really develop. I'm going to go into training now. Yeah. You know, when you see

the UFC fighters running up a hell with a mask, that's me. Only I got to get a pen and I got to go to fucking coffee shop and write.

But I got to change my schedule around. I got to get out at night a lot more. And that's what you need to do. When you want to, you know, yesterday I was taking the shit. I'm sitting there going, you know, maybe I'll do three sets a week in training. When you first get here, the first, it's like getting out of a rehab.

When you get out of rehab, the first thing they say to you is to get on stage 90 days, to go to a meeting for 90 days after you get out of rehab, for any form, pills, alcoholism, drugs. They always tell you to go to rehab. That's so it becomes in your soul. It becomes a part of something. That's what I have to start doing. So I've got to change my sleep habit around. I love being up at night.

I just can't stay up no more. I'm 50. At 8.30, I'm fucking tired. You know, I get an edible in me or whatever, and I'm fucking tired, you know. So it's going to be tough this year to fucking really stay out. And I got flappers and I got the Ha-ha and I got the Laugh Factory. And I'm working with Tony Hincliffe, who I'm fucking one of the funniest kids. I'm going to have them on the podcast tomorrow.

By the way, I woke up this morning to a text or Facebook from Felicia Michaels saying that we got nominated Beauty and the Beast. Got nominated for Best Podcasts or something like that. I think it was a comedy awards we plugged a couple weeks ago. And I thank you people. I really thank you people from the bottom of my heart. I've always believed in Beating the Beast. And I never saw the numbers or anything really.

You know, it's always at 60 or 50 or 85. And it really always bothered me. I thought that Beating the Beast would do a lot better than what it did. I work real hard on Beating the Beast. I have to get a fucking guest every week and make sure he's a fucking MOOC and he got a second chance. and if not, guests cancel, so it's really rough what we do.

We only do one podcast a week because she's got two kids, you know, and I got what's going on, and now Fidel's going here and take a shit in the cat with the box. The one thing about Fidel, though, I got to tell you about Fidel, my cat, not Fidel Castro,

was in Cuba with a stroke right now. Frilele Cater. The one thing about this motherfucker is she's one of the cleanest cat you'll ever meet. Let me tell you what I mean by cleanest cats. I say a cat takes a shit and doesn't cover this shit.

He will come in here, cover this shit for the cat, go hit him in the head. I've seen it. I've seen him walk to the cat and just fucking whack him. Like, put the fucking, put the dirt over the fucking shit. All right. And my heart goes out to the people on the East Coast today where Hurricane Sandy.

God knows what's going to happen. But that's the Jersey Shore. That Snooki and her radioactive fucking pussy is deterring the fucking waves in the storm as it's coming in right now, all those fucking Guidos down the Jersey Shore. I love you crazy motherfuckers, man. You don't know what life is until you go out of Jersey Shore. You have no fucking... No, I've never been there.

They got the Bronx, Brooklyn, Staten Island. They got everything, but there's nothing like that fucking Jersey show. But supposedly the Jersey Shore, I see some pictures on Facebook that people I went to high school with, because a lot of people lived down in Jersey Shore have put up. It looks already like the waves are fucked up. It's supposed to be a super storm. And you know what's crazy?

Like, you sit there and this motherfucker, and now he's scraping, you hear that? That's him. He took a tremendous shit, and look it. He's going to walk out like a gentleman. But look at him. He don't care. See, see, he washes his paws.

this guy's a fucking savage I wish I had a camera to put on him Fidel's a good man Fidel's a good man Fidel Come here You want to come here Fidelito Fidel come in Fidel come in

Fidel, come in I got catnip Cocksucker Faddle doesn't care Catnip don't work When my wife is here They don't give a fuck About my chubby ass disgusting catnip

That's really because I mean Coming here at 5 in the morning Isn't something I would normally be excited about When your wife opens the door And there's cats It's great

But one of the coolest things I've seen since your wife's been pregnant. Every time she opened the door, there's like 10 cats like guarding her. Oh, they guard her, bro. The boys guard her. Look, they hear. Uh-oh. The Mick Hop Suckers.

This is the best catnip in the world. Too bad to discontinue it. And it's manufactured in Canada, which that just goes to show you. They don't have good weed. They also have catnip motherfuckers. They ain't fucking around in Canada. This book is getting really good.

This American Nesperado. It's weird when you relate to a book. Is he calling? this Roberts guy I believe she changed his name his name was like John Rickabini and he's talking about how he was raised in Long Island or whatever and his parents

his mother died so he had to live in Jersey and he's mugging people and robbing people in the same place as I robbed him and Tienek and kind of flying gas station but the funny thing about this guy there's a whole chapter now how to beat somebody up with a fucking bat he talks about how to hurt somebody whatever I mean this book is fucking amazing so far

but it's really weird His mother died. He wanted to be a big basketball player. And, you know, I was talking to, who called here last week? Chuck McPree. Yeah, Chuckie McPhee. He was talking about that he still sees Dan Reed. For a long time, I wanted to go shoot Dan and Reid.

That was my freshman basketball coach that crushed my hopes and dreams. I was going to kill that motherfucker. But you know what, man, life moves on and I fucked up to him. Oh, I was. He didn't start me freshman. Oh, Chris Gaynor. Chris Gaynor called and was talking about how, when he went up there, he's seen one of those guys

Chuck. I think both of them guys talked about it. Both of those guys talked about it. This fucking vapor's good to them. Stone is fuck, you know what I'm saying? Eureka vapor now, but they saw all the carches. They got to wait. They come into the Ontario shows. Oh, good. Oh, yeah, and people are hitting me up. I don't really go with Joey to his shows. I'll try to come. Are you still doing a Sunday show?

Down there, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe I'll come to that. Someday's only be good. It's myself. Edwin San Juan, Martin Rizzo and fucking George Perez. Perez, my main man, George Perez. So I got it all mixed up for the weekend. I got some people doing guests by. No debt squad.

Everybody from debt squad's out of town. So, you know, please forgive me. I always try to get the debt squad guys involved in that shit. But Joe's in Seattle. Red bands with him, Greg Fitzsimmons is with him. Ari's somewhere and Duncan somewhere, you know. I was hoping to see Duncan today down at Mimi's Cafe. We got on there getting a steak.

And we're trying to get my uncle on the podcast. But Uncle Jimmy Jam, what's happening, beautiful? How are you, my friend? How are you, my friend? How are you feeling today? I'm feeling good I said it's gold but the full moon is out

so my heart is warm okay as long as the full moon is out there you fucking vampire love to have you on here how's little jimmy doing all the kids are good everybody's good everybody's good yeah jimmy's preparing for Jimmy and his family are preparing for the

hurricane sandy they live just outside of DC and defensive so they're having to kind of scramble a little bit pretty out what they're going to do if they're going to evacuate go to their mother and Missouri or just to ride it out.

Missouri, having them ride it out, it's going to be all right. The Jersey Shore is going to get killed. They're going to be all right in D.C., Baltimore area. The storm is looking for Romney. Wherever Romney is at, that's where they're going to go hunt that motherfucker down. So, Uncle Jim, the reason why I wanted you on the show today is, you know, I always play these criminals I grew up with and they tell their stories, but the whole time I was getting in trouble, I was also a search of bettering myself,

and I ran into you at Boulder Toyota and you got me started in two directions. You really taught me the patois of car sales and you got me convincing to getting on stage, but you taught me something else that I still do every day and if America knew this shit, they wouldn't be in the problems they're having, and that's goals.

Do you mind talking to us a little bit about that? Well, goal setting, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. It's really that simple. Goals have done so much for me. you know, I'm a tea time cancer survivor. Gold got me through each

set of those the circumstance. And just to put it in plainer terms, it's basic how you're going to look at life, how life is going to treat you. And, you know, as I said, 30 years ago,

or, I don't know, maybe it was longer than that, the difference between being good, being great is just a little bit. building blocks for me, but I tried to fill in all of us with, because I was learning as I was, as I was going through all this back then as well. Goals is the written, the written goals is this power and the written word. And that's what helped me on a daily basis, on an hourly basis,

it's fantastic. You know, I was telling Lee that when we were at Boulder Toyota, the first thing we had to do in the morning before we got coffee or taken up was we had to write our goals. That was the first thing on the thing. We had to write, what do we want from today? And then the three things to support that. So you want to sell a car, you've got to mail letters, you've got to take 10-ups, and you've got to make 15 phone calls.

And I do the same now. I'm taking a shoot in a special in January, so every day I wake up, what do I need to do? I need to write five minutes a week. I need to get on stage twice a night and try the joke. I need to stay focused. These are the things I write down myself. So I still believe in this 20s. is lately, Jim.

You're living proof. It's obvious. You're not been talking over the years about this. I know you've been carrying on that gold in your life and your professional, personal life. And it's a beautiful thing.

You know, you were born to be funny. But, I mean, there's no disputing that. And the real proof is I couldn't help to keep you from trying out your new material and all the customers. That was a trial

It was always a constant over the PA The OAD is the gym's office You have a long-distance phone call That man to quit trying out your material And get back to selling the call That was a beautiful day And we had a good time on that lot I was thinking about the guy that would come in from California

Cornere Remember that was his name? I'll never forget that guy He worked for the phone thing And you also taught us how important the phone was And how to, you know, call people like now I still, you know, by me selling cars, it was the building blocks for me to either be in a good comedian or a decent comedian because a lot of people know that half the comedy war out here is marketing It's not about the funniest guy isn't who's on TV and gets a special It's about marketing and that's what else you taught me is how to, you know, get it out there when you when you're when you're trying to sell something you have to call people and

and you taught us that, but that guy used to come in. Remember once a week from California, and if you had the most people that came in off the phone, he'd take you to lunch at a nice place? Do you remember that thing? And we had the boots in the corner. Joe Verdi. What was his name?

Joe Verde. Joe, I thought it was Cormier for some reason. Joe Cormier or Bill. I brought in three or four of them, and Cormier was another one. I think he was a, a Verdi rep that went rogue and started his own company. But, yeah, he was another huge example of a guy that took it to extreme.

And he was all over the power of the written word and that there's true passion in power. And, you know, Joe, we're constantly selling ourselves. Nowadays, like you said, it's not the guy with the most talent. It's a guy that can market himself, that can follow up. And if you're not writing this stuff down, you're missing. You're missing out. And you're going to be good, but you're not going to be great. You're going to be fair, but you're not going to be good.

And, you know, it's that little bit of discipline. You know, there's two types of pain, the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. and for not having on the discipline. And goal setting in any capacity, just two minutes a day, writing down four or five things that you want to get accomplished. It could be going to the grocery store. So, you know, it's that redundant,

if that remedial. It's pure power. Without goals, you can't be prepared enough. And, you know, a lot of people would say, A lot of salespeople back then would tell me, oh, well, I'm doing, I got mental gold. I got it all in my head. Well, mental gold is just a broken promise to yourself.

It isn't fulfilled and is not going to carry its own way. So it's the power of the written word. It carries a day with goal setting and getting things done. You know, I applied to my day, but a lot of people don't know is I have a notebook, and I'm showing the people on camera right now that I have a notebook, and I started off, it says 1029 to 114, and it has Monday through Sunday on that.

And I know where I am every day to the fucking minute because of this. Every day to the minute, you know, it says Monday, write one hour, 6 a.m. podcast, 1145 to 1245, yoga. I got to write a blog. I got to fucking write comedy, and I got to write two pages in my book. Everything in there is for the day. Tomorrow I got to go to acupuncture.

You know, I got to watch Sons of Anarchy at 7. You know, I got to do a podcast. My whole week is in front of my eyes, Jim, at all times. I have a little one, and then I have a big planner. You know, I have a book in the morning that I get up, Jim, and I write what I think about today, and then my goal is for the day to be a better person, to help somebody out and then to work on my stuff.

So I've been following this shit since I met you, Jim. Since I met you, I've been following this stuff. I didn't have to pay for it. It was something that was passed on to me. You know, this morning I always get pissed off, Jim, because I have a cat Fidel. And he likes to eat in the same fucking spot every day. And if you don't feed him in the same fucking spot every day,

he has a heart attack. He's waking me up at two in the fucking morning. My wife picks up the cat bowls, and doesn't put the bowl for him at the same fucking spot every day. So he wakes me up at 2 in the morning. Then when I get up at 6 and I'm trying to pee, he's like, wow, and I'm like, because you move his fucking bow. And I see this across America that people don't want to do the same things every day.

And there's things in life that you have to do. When you're on a diet, you don't just not drink Coca-Cola Monday and Tuesday. That's every day. But people can't figure out why things, don't work in their life because after eight or nine days they go back to what they were fucking doing even if they know that it's bad for them and that includes myself but at least you have to be knowledgeable of it like you have to do certain things every day when i get up in the morning i wash my fucking i come in here i get some coffee i do what i got to do but before i wash my

pussy i write in that book before i get in that shower i know my plan for the day i know what i need to accomplish that day and it makes me a lot happy i think it makes me more positive in the morning because I know my fucking root for the day. I know my map for the day. So, you know, it's a mental exercise. Physical exercise fills you with, you know, cranks up your serotonin level and gets your dopamine going. And doing goals does that same thing for your brain.

There's a lot of brains research going on now that they say once you, you know, if you don't use it, you lose it. Well, not true. You can start goals at any age. and your brain power will increase. There's a practice is what leads to passion, and passion. Passion sells, Joey, passion is what sells. You know, there's a Malcolm Gladwell, great author.

I've been reading Blink and I've been reading Outliers, his story of success. He talks about the difference between being great and being brilliant and being good and being great. It talks about 10,000 hours and that it takes in any profession, sports, comedy, 10,000 hours is what it takes to be an absolute master of that profession. And you can break that down into four hours a day, five days a week for about 9.6 years. You've been doing this for 30 years. No, I've been doing this for 20.

I've been doing this for 20 on the books, but, you know, I've been trying to, I've been funny since I was five. I just didn't know what to do with it. What most people in this country don't know what to do. They don't know what to do with what they got, Jim Kelly, Jim Carly, Jim Handy. They don't know what the fuck to do of what they got.

Once I realized what I had to do and I realized where I was going and made the journey a lot easier, you know. Absolutely. So many guys and gals that, you know, came into our fold at the sore there, and at the dealership and got into the program, got into writing their goals,

and went from zero to hero in about a week. The light bulb just went on, huge. And I keep in touch with a couple other people through the years, and we talk about goals. We talk about all much of other stuff, but goals always pops up. And how it just turned that 25 water into a, to a hundred water,

because the results are there. And the results are quick, they're immediate, you know? I remember for the last 10 years I was doing coke and pills and shit. I'd wake up the next morning, and that was the first thing I would write. You know, I'm going to stop doing drugs, you know? And it took 10 years for the power of the fucking pen, but eventually won. I didn't have to go to rehab.

I didn't have to give somebody hugs or go get fucking out of you wasking a mountain. You know, I sit here sometimes, Jim, and I can't realize what made me stop doing blow. It's going to be five years in November, and I can't imagine what it was, but I think it was the power of the pen. So, you know, I kept writing it over and over. I got to stop doing blow. I got to, you know, stop fucking chicks in bars and getting my dick suck with SDDs. And eventually it stuck, you know, it stuck. And I just really wanted you to tell these people that how far back we've been going, you know,

Everybody always says that I have a story that I changed my life. I don't see the change, but it was because I wrote stuff down, and I believed in it, and it's thanks to you, man. Fucking thanks to you. 20 years ago, Boulder Toyota, the dead end street next to a Lincoln Mercury fucking store. That's why I learned about life, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you had to go.

You had destiny, and you had to get to Hollywood, and that's kind of the deal we made that day. I said, brother, you've got to go. You've got to get to. You've got to go to Hollywood. You've got to follow this dream and take these schools and your sense of humor and put in your soul and get out there. And what you did, proud of you, proud of all of us. And for getting through, you know, trying times, good times, happy times.

And it's, you know, if you can say practice makes perfect, you can call it whatever you want. But if you're practicing, you're, to sing something most likely, you know, if you want to be a good guitar player, violin player, you've got to have a teacher. What that teacher's doing is giving you lessons and lessens our goal, whether you're wanting to be, whatever you want to be. You know, it's quicker, faster, and more efficiently by writing it down.

You know, I forgot about the talk we had when you told me that I had to leave and go do that, but I got to tell you now in front of a bunch of people that listen to the show, wasn't even that that got me it was one day i was telling lee i sold the car at night you know how when you sold the car before closing the people would come back in the morning to get it washed you know oh yeah and uh i i got there at 10 to 9 and and i ran to the back and you were there and i think me and marty sold the car the night before and i asked you where jimmy junior was and your son was working with us that summer on the lot and this is a true story i went back there and he was talking to the younger brother and i guess at the

time you and your wife were having problems at home and uh when i walked up on them when i walked up on them they both looked at me and they were like speak of the devil and i go what are you talking about and he goes on the ride to work this morning my father was so frustrated and he said that he feels like quitting this whole thing and just taking you on the road to do calmly those fucking words went through my heart i mean uh it killed me because i realized that you had that much faith to me and here i was dicking around selling cars which i was still trying to get my life and i was still trying to get my life together, but that was what really, when the two boys said to me that on the drive, you told him that you were thinking of quitting this whole thing and just taking me in a

fucking car on the road. That was, that was it after that. So I thank you for that. Well, you know, you had the passion and you had, you know, the talent and, you know, in sales, in car sales anyway, you know, it all started with knowledge. You can know what you're talking about, that, you know, you can talk enthusiastic about it. You can have passion, passion, self. And you've got passion to it. You've got passion to it. That's all I got, dog.

You've got to be passionate about something. I love it. I love what I do, and I love talking to people, and I'm happy I kept in touch of you, man, because you're still on inspiration. I can't believe you dropped knowledge on these motherfuckers like you did this morning. You got a question for him, though? Yeah, Jim, I don't know how much Joey. told you, but I'm 24, and there's a lot of people my age

who don't have jobs, and you guys have been talking about goals, and that's great. But for people who haven't done it, do you have, like, examples? Like, if you were going to tell someone to start doing goals who's never done it before, like, do you have something you would tell them to start with? Yeah, yeah. I just, I lost you for about five seconds there. I'm sorry, say that again. Oh, I'm sorry.

I said, I'm in my early 20s, and there's a lot of people in my age who listen and who don't have jobs. And you've been talking about goals with Joey, and I was wondering if someone hasn't done goals before, what do you recommend starting with, just because goals is great, but it's just so broad. Sure. You start with a piece of paper and a pen.

You get a notebook. You go and get a loose-leaf notebook. It doesn't have to be structured. You don't have to go get a Tony Robbins seminar. You just start with a piece of paper, and you sit down, and you can start out with it. a broad sense of what you want to get done. Where do you want to go?

And you can start with two words, I want, and just start writing down as many things as you can put down as to, I want, I want, I want, I want. Then prioritize those and start just a little action plan of your own. It's one manageable task at a time. one manageable idea at a time. If you've got a list of 10, 20 different items, okay, pitch three.

Now you're manageable and just get a notebook and don't put anything else in that notebook and plan to fill that notebook up and already think about getting the next notebook. And it's a daily thing. You've got to review what you did yesterday. And my brother, it takes five minutes. Initially, it's going to take you a half hour, hour.

It might take you a day. It might take a day or two. Because once you start looking at your initial list, you can say, well, you know, there's nothing on another bit that really grabs me. Well, then write another length. And something will grab you. Something will make sense. And then just start from there.

boil it down to a manageable list, two, three items, maybe even to concentrate on one, and put down two or three action items, but brother, you've got to hang with it. It's got to be a discipline because you're going to have the discipline of doing it or you're going to have the regret of not doing it. So it's really something you've got to stick with. And do you think it works because it feels good when you check something off? for why do you feel so strongly about it? Well, there's, there's, you know, so many different things that are going to come up for you.

You're going to find out a whole lot about yourself as you start crossing things off. It'll start to, your future will take a little bit different shape. I'm not going to say, oh, my God, you're going to have a revelation, but your future is going to start to come a little bit more into clarity. You know, there's a lot of people your age, like you said, it's hard to get jobs, hard to get through school, coming out of school with a big load on your plate financially. And, but if you're not hitting the bricks and getting up early and, well, sleep late, I'll go out and look for a job at noon. No, the job, they're all gone. You've got to get out early, stay focused, and write it down.

written word has just way too much power and it'll present itself to you immediately. That's awesome, man. Thank you. That's all I have. Uncle Jim, we'll talk during the week. Thank you very much for calling in. Say hello to the boys. I love you, buddy. I will. I love you too, brother. All right. Thanks for calling in. Have a great week, my man.

That was great. You're saying. Take care. Much love. Sorry, I just, it really sounded cool. And I wanted to understand for me and for everyone else. It's, uh, I got lucky that I, I interned somewhere and I got a good job, but there's just almost, all my friends, like, are either have jobs that they don't like, like they're working high school jobs or stuff like that and just, I try not to talk because you guys,

you know, you know, these people, but that, it just sounded so cool. No, listen, bro, this is not even about a job leave. This is about your life, you know, I know you want to do a lot of things with your life. Hey, listen, you know, I sit here every week and I tell these stories and shit. I got crazy friends calling, but the other side of my coin was I was always trying to better myself. That's why I took those college classes,

even when I was breaking into, you know, I was taking college classes. I didn't want to live like that. I never want to live like that. You know, it may sound like it to you guys. It was something I got caught up in, and I'm not going to pull it back now because I'm who I am.

It's made me who I am, but I was always trying to better myself. You know, you said something to me that fuck would me yesterday. I don't like reading. I always read. I always thought that if I read, it would make me a better human being. You know, this election's coming, and everybody's always saying this and this,

if this guy wins going to change, and this guy wins. You know what, I don't, I've never wasted my time with all that, because I know that to make things change, you've got to change it from your heart and from what then. It all starts with that decision. You know, I have a friend that won't go to a fucking rehab. She won't go to a rehab. I know for a fact she knows she needs to go.

I had to stop talking to her. because the rehab is way beyond that. We're past the alcoholism. We're into being a kiss of death where everything's so negative. Addiction has gotten it from the inside out like it had me with the blow. You're a negative person.

You know, you don't think, because you can't change, you don't think anything else is good. You know, when I called to tell her my wife was pregnant, she's like, look out for miscarriages. You know, it's always something. Yeah, it's always like the evil side of life. You know what? I used to look at life evil like that too, and I don't, and it made my life a lot fucking better, you know what I'm saying?

So it all starts with just sitting down in the mornings, you know, people look at me and they're like, oh, but Joey, you're crazy, you know, you do drugs or whatever. Hey, man, that was a part of me. The other part of me was there was always a little guy inside of me trying to, you know, yell and scream and say, I just want to be a normal fucking person. That's why when I listen to you and you're like, I want more from my life, what more can you be doing? The only more you can be doing is being married and having kids or going back to college and getting your master's degree or working at an office where you're getting your law degree. I mean, you're Jewish. What the fuck are you doing?

Working with cameras and shit. You know, me, I love a Jew attorney. They're the fucking best. They don't fuck around. They cost, but they're the best out. They always come up with it, by the way. They always show up with that rock to throw through your fucking window. You know what I'm saying?

That's what I love about the Jews. What else do you want from your life? Do you want it? You know, and that's what you have to, this is where Jim Handy comes in. You know, because sometimes we're looking for this happiness. It's right in front of us. Yeah. What the fuck are you kidding?

It's right in front of us, man. But we don't know it. We're too fucking stupid. We don't see it. You know, like I've told you a thousand times. It kills me that in this country. You got the iPad or the eye touch and the eye this and the eye this suck dick. But when there's a problem, you don't look the eye.

You know, Lee does. I, I, I, I, I out of the debt. But most people in this country don't look at the problem. They go to a psychiatrist. Now they pay somebody to tell them what the fuck their problems of. understood that or they pay somebody to put them back on the life on the right fucking track well people hit me up all the time lawyer you're going to be my life coach how you're going to have joie deers is your fucking life coach but i understand where you're coming from

i laugh at first but i know where you're coming from because i look at life from a different perspective you know i hate Halloween bro i hate Halloween because uh next Sunday was the last real talk i have my mother november 3rd and then she died on the 8th and and that night i didn't get home. And all the documentaries we do in all the interviews, I was just listening to an old podcast with Maz. He said that the best thing about Joey Diaz is that you never know what he's going to call

you because I've always checked in. Carmine said it on the documentary. A lot of people, Jones said it. I check in with all my friends. And one of the reasons why I check in, it's a commitment thing. It's something that I have to do to better myself to let them know. I'm watching them. They're watching

me. I love checking them with people. I don't know where I was going with That fucking vapor killed me. Do you think, because a couple of weeks ago, we were talking, and you were saying how, like, you don't understand that people can sit around all day on Sunday and watch football. Do you think part of that's the goal setting with Jim? Like, if you're goal setting, you don't have time to be sitting around all day just doing, do you think, like, that part of you that can't sit around is from the goals?

No, no. When I was a kid, if you listened to any fucking Michael Jackson interview, he always talks about how they stole his childhood from him, you know, when he cried. about it. I have the same anger in my heart. My childhood was stolen from me a little part of me because my stepfather was very aggressive in the center. My mother didn't play

fucking games. They didn't play games. They were just very, you know, unshark on the ball people. And then one day I'm 15 and the Lord takes my mother. Okay. So I went from doing what I wanted to do to doing the things I had to do. When you're 15,

you want to sit and watch a fucking game and jump up and down with your little hat. I couldn't that no more. I had no money coming and I had to figure out something to do. So that's always been on the bottom of me, so I had a sacrifice. What sacrifice? Just split the day and half. You know, there's two fucking football

games on I'll watch the one and the other half, I'll read a book. You know, this whole thing is about sacrifice. Last night came home and there was ham and cheese and jambalaya. I was fucking starving. I was fucking starving. So I got a piece of cheese with cracker, and I ate a banana. I compromised with myself. I made a deal. I really wanted to make a

and cheese sandwich of mayonnaise. I had Italian bread and fucking lettuce and tomato at 1230, and then you can't sleep right, and I couldn't be on for this this morning. So all this life is compromises. Last night, I wanted to go to bed at 9. If it was up to me, I would have made an edible and gone to bed at 9. I got to be out at night.

If you want to do stand-up comedy, you got to be out at night. So for the next three months, I'm going to be out at night. If something happens, she has the baby, her water breaks, I'm right around the corn. I'm here. By the time she gets the bag and puts a cotton ball in the pussy, I'm ready to fucking drive for the hospital. You know, my wife is having a baby.

I got to stick close by. You know, I love my wife. I'm having a great time with a, I went to the doctor with her last Thursday. Yeah. And I fucking hate one of the doctors for myself. Never mind going down with her. And I had a great time.

They had the thing on the, they showed the baby's head, and it's fucking little, little fingers, its fucking feet and shit. And it had her ears, the ears are bent and pointy, and it's got my fucking big head. And it's finally dawning on me. coming up in my life. What I need to do and all this shit.

It's feeling good. You know, I'm putting the pieces together. God threw a blessing on me when he put you in my life. The Jew God put you in my life. The Cuban Jew God said, I got to put a little fucking chubby Jew in your life. That's a bad motherfucker. It's trying to get his dick sucked,

and his balls licked and shit. That little girl, you tell him you're going to send a picture of your dick, and you got to suntan your dick. You can't send to that pale Jew dick. I've never done that before. Well, you got a sun tan. You got to put some makeup up.

on it. You got to have Felicia taking a nice picture of your dick, because Felicia took a picture of my balls and my asshole and me and Felicia takes good pictures. So call up and I can go Felicia. I could send her a picture in my Instagram of my dick, but I don't want it to be more artistic. Can you help me? And she'll take a nice picture

for you to put makeup and they'll yell cut. And everybody's fucking happy. And you send her a picture that little jukecock and it's all over but to shout. Put a little yarmulka on the side, a little mountain. A couple fucking rocks. A picture of Jesus getting beat up and you're ready to go.

You're slinging dick Lee. It's Monday, you bad motherfuckers. Lee, what do you got for music for him? You lined anything up? Do we want to do Angel Heart? We're going to save that for later. Let's do Angel Heart first. Let me tell you what's cracking people.

So I was telling Lee before I watched Angel. I watched Young Frankenstein, which is very funny. Yeah. And somebody had Nightmare on the On the United which the first one I always thought was one of the funniest movies I had funniest. I don't like scary movies. Yeah, me either. Because I have nightmares.

I got to sleep with a fucking love. light on and it just embarrasses me so I don't like scary movies but I like scary movies when I don't see people getting chopped up I like scary movies when it fucks with my mind suspense yeah suspense I like uh not even the suspense I like suspense for movies but I like uh you know the exorcist I talk shit about the exorcist constantly because it just wasn't about a girl getting a devil it's all this is going on and the director's eye and the shots he took and the priest and just The mental fuck. This movie was made in 1970,

and if you still watch it, it still fucks it. People still hit me up on Twitter and go, Joey, I watch The Exorcist. Why the fuck did you put that movie in my life? It's heavy-duty movie. He goes to Africa, he finds the statue. Wherever the fuck he finds, I know people are going to hit me back.

It wasn't Africa. It was Jersey. I don't give a fuck. But Angel Heart is always one of my favorite movies. It came out in 1987, and it stars Mickey Rourke and Robert De Nirox as the devil. He calls himself Louis Sides. which is really

Lucifer. And the movie is basically about a private investigator that gets hired by De Niro, who is a.k.a. Satan, to find the kid that cut a deal with the devil, a musician. Brilliant script. Cut a deal with the devil and then reneged on it.

Oh, shit. So he changed his name, he tried to do all this thing, and now Satan was collecting his soul. So Satan was going to put him through a ring. I can't tell you any more than that. the reason why I love this fucking movie is every time they go into a different scene they always show the cover where they did the deal with the devil

was in this apartment building and the outside of it looked like the outside cover of physical graffiti 1975 Led Zeppelin Night line line in the line Anyway I know I can't sing for shit

but put on physical graffiti What are you laughing about fucking a flying Jew but I told Lee about this movie a while ago my wife didn't even know about it. I had to go get Angel Heart at Omiba. I got it for like 10 bucks and I brought it home and we watched it after the wrestler because she had never

watched this movie. But the real thing about this movie came out in 87 or 88 when the Cosby's were hot and Lisa Bonnet decided to do a fuck scene in it. And the fuck scene is tremendous. He's fucking a Mickey Rork and blood starts coming out of the ceilings. And it's just fucking crazy. Play that

script. This is a part where De Niro finally comes The devil finally confronts Mickey Roark. Hit it, little brother. Lewis Seifer. Lucifer. Even your name is a dime start joke.

Bethistopheles is such a mouthful of Manhattan, Johnny. Do you think posing as the devil just because it scared some superstitious old guitar player and that witch and that nutty old man? You think it's going to scare me? It ain't. I know who I am. And you killed them.

And you're trying to pin it on me. And I know who I am. If I had clover and hooves and a pointed tail, would you be more convinced? You're crazy. I know I am. You're trying to frame me. You're trying to frame me. Seifre, I know who I am.

You murdered them people. I never killed no money. I didn't kill Fowler. and I didn't kill Tuts and I didn't kill Margaret and I didn't kill Cruz Mark I didn't kill no one I'm afraid you did

Johnny my name's not Johnny all killed by your own hand guided by me naturally frankly you were doomed from the moment you slit that young boy in half for Johnny for 12 years you've been living on borrowed time

and another man's memories Hey, I want to tell Weinsap Casinos. Wynesap? Well, he's dead. Nasty accident. Don't worry, no one will mourn one less lawyer in the world. There's death... I'm becoming a lawyer. But what gives human life it's worth?

Anyway, because someone loves it, hates it. The flesh is weak, Johnny. Only the soul is immortal. Yours belongs to me. Oh, shit. Then yours belongs to me. God damn, I still got it. Motherfuckers.

Are you kidding me or what? I give you, what's the movie? Midnight Run. I give you Angel Heart for Halloween. Who loves you motherfuckers like me? Oh, shit. De Niro looks creepy. I'm telling you guys.

He has like long fingernails. I'm telling you guys when he eats that egg and he tells him that the religion, some religions, the egg is a soul. Or the soul, and he eats the fucking egg. But watch the fuck see him. And when you rent it, there's two fuck scenes. There's the PG one for you fucking Christians with the bell and the fucking tambourine.

And you got the rated double X one with Lisa Bonnet shows a little black monkey and a little asshole. If you guys like that little dark meat, that's just on Thanksgiving. There you go, you know what I'm saying? Speaking of scary movies, have you ever seen Rosemary's Baby? That's another 70s one. That's another 70. They weren't fucking around the 70s. These guys did a pound of blow and then scared the fuck out of you.

That's the way to do it. I don't want to. Who's going to scare me some third. 15 year old, she's getting stabbed at the beach. I want a psychological fuck. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that one's. You want a psychoiolize.

So please, Angel Hart. Now let me tell you something. You guys, I always go to all these podcasts, listen for the next movie. Dog, I'm only going to give you one fucking movie a week, but it's going to be heat. Whether I give you a music or an album, this is the shit that shaped me.

If you notice, I don't waste time with shitty fucking movies. I can see a movie in a trailer and tell you what time it is. It don't take no fucking genius. When you see a trailer, that that's the best part of the fucking movies. All these movies you guys go see today, like I said, in five years, you can't drop a fucking scene on me. I haven't seen that movie in 20 years.

Let me tell you something about Angel Heart. I saw that movie right before I committed that crime. Really? Like a month or two before or three before. But here's the beauty of it. I sat there and watched the matinee and sat there and watched it again. Really? I went out, smoked a joint, went right back in there, in 87 or 88, and watched it again.

Because I didn't figure out the ending until I bought the video two years ago. my wife. That's how strong this movie's a psychological fuck. So take all your little Halloween movies. Children of the Corny Band either. I can dig that one. But I'm telling you right now the spookiest fucking movie is Angel Heart with Mickey Roak and De Niro

and this is the best two actors at the time. This is fucking Mickey Rork. A lot of people don't know is. And we're going to be covering this movie. After the Raging Bull, De Niro didn't work for a few years because they said he was involved in the Belushi. Really? The night Belushi died. De Niro was with

De Niro and again we're talking about Mork and Mindy Robin Williams went down to the store to get fucking Richard Pry and they were going to go party and they were going to go meet up with Belushi a lot of people don't fucking know that story so when De Niro came back he came back

with Midnight Run he came back with fucking Angel Heart so for you people don't know when you love your little movies there you have it I was going to give you an album today but you know what it's too much on your plate Hurricane Sandy everybody's worried about what the fuck is going on.

What was the final score? I know that the Denver Broncos didn't go over last night, 55, but they were close. It was like 44. It was 34 or something like that, wasn't it? Let me check it. I was close. They might have gone over.

Let me check. No, they didn't go over. It was 55 fucking points. 34 to 14, so that's 48. Told you they didn't go over. And that was the easiest thing because the line, but they tried to fuck with you on Sunday night. That's what they do.

That's what they do. So I guarantee a lot of people went over 55 and got that. I would have gone over. 55. I'm a born loser. I should have an hell right on my fucking forehead. And that's it, brothers and sisters. I want to thank some people that support the podcast here.

My man, Rich Powell, Luca Banner, Sehan, Jesse Hart, Carrie Michael Walden, I love you, motherfuckers. I'm happy that you listen to the podcast and you enjoy it and that you're having a great time and whatnot. Don't forget, I'm at the Ontario Improv this weekend.

Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. If you want to get tickets, The number is 909, 484, 5411. I'm doing radio Thursday and Friday. We're doing the podcast again Wednesday. No gambling podcast next weekend. After we took an O and two bidding, there's no sense of us coming back. I've got a good pick for you to bring you motherfuckers back.

Remember November 8th, me and Ari Shafia, the baddest fucking Jew next to the flying Jew. I'm going to have to get you both a helicopter and shit. I'm going to be at the Chicago House of Blues. The show is going to rock. Trust what I'm telling you're going to have a good friend. fucking time. My man Mitch Nutt is showing up. We might do a podcast there hiding for my wife. There's going to be ref. I got like three or four state alert people coming in there growing shit. They're bringing bombs, mushrooms. Make sure you're at the house of fucking blues November 8.

Tickets are online. I'm in Arizona at the Scottsdale comedy, whatever. This Friday and Saturday I got to cancel Thursday because I got that sweet water movie. And that's it, brother, testicle testaments. Thank you very much for making it number fucking eight, it was this morning, the love is amazing. Lee is getting fans. He's getting people on Twitter. Lee's a good man. Lee's my brother and he's helped me with all this shit. We're going to shoot the special. What else we got, Lee? A lot of people keep asking me about the documentary and it's on payloads where I got my balls from. You know, Lee and I always reference it because when I took Lee, one of the things I wanted to know where I came from, so we went back and shot it.

And that's it. I'm having the baby December in January. January, I'm going to tape the special somewhere in Los Angeles and I'm going to have like 100 people come on from Twitter because that's all it fits in there you know so you don't have to pay just come on down come on out or be in January towards the end and that's it man this is a great show today Lee I'm happy

you're part of it on a Monday morning this is great you got gold today you got a scary movie we got the sons of anarchy fucking alert for next week what else we got Lee what are you got for these motherfuckers that's it I got a since I surprised you yesterday you have a choice Biggie Smalls everyday struggle or

fly me to the moon, Tony Bennett. How about sympathy for the devil? Out of respect, the Rolling Stones for the fucking movie we saw. Sympathy for the devil? I was thinking about a tremendous song, The Rolling Stones. It was so funny, I was talking to Joyce the other. I go, George, you're going to pay 800 and I was going to go see the Rolling Stones?

Like, fuck that. I've seen them when they were 40. Why the fuck am I going to go see it? They're 70. I see them when they were 40 at their best. So I feel the same way. I don't want to pay 800 bucks to see the stones. I love the stones, but nobody's worth $800 right now.

No, Jesus Christ. No, no, no, no. So we love you guys always. We're doing another podcast Wednesday. Thank you for downloading. Subscribe and leave a fucking comment, Cocksucker. Even if you hate the podcast,

subscribe and leave it. If you say, Joey, suck my fat little dick and call me Shorty. I don't give a fuck. At least you wrote something. We compelled you to write something. Where are you at, Lee? Where's the music?

I'm ready. Hit it. Out of respect for Angel Heart. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. What? You know the studio burnt down. This is on Vegas banquet.

Did you know that? Really? No. Fuck, yeah. The studio burnt down twice or something. Jewish lightning at his best. I listen to Jews didn't have nothing to do it. Kick it.

Oh, boy. Dolly. Oh, shit. Do you do? How many bones are you going to do with that, Lee? 8,000. All right. Good.

I love you, motherfuckers. Have a great day. Stay black. Get out there and sling dick in a big motherfucker way. That goes to you women, too. Swing that fucking pussy. Give them the scent of that monkey.

Let him know who runs shit.