The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - 10/31/2012 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #24

Episode Date: November 2, 2012

Joey and Lee talk about the recent tragedy on the East Coast and what it means for Obama. And Joey's friend Loubs calls in with the update from North Bergen.  Finally, Lee's most uncomfortable moment in life caught on tape. Words cannot describe what takes place. Streamed live on 10/31/2012

Oh shit. Oh shit. It's Wednesday. Happy Halloween. The church of what's happening. Now, blast that league. Oh, shit. Little Hector LeBone. Straight 1970 of Willie Cologne. Listen to this, motherfucker.

Oh, shit. A little shout out for the Puerto Ricans in New York right now. Buried up there in the Bronx and all points north. I love you, motherfuckers. What's happening, Lee? Not much, buddy. We're here. It's Wednesday.

Happy Halloween, the church of what's happening now. Let me tell you something as usual. It's a beautiful motherfucking day to be alive here. Beautiful. My heart goes out to the people in Jersey and New York and North Carolina and Virginia. And everybody who got affected from this, you know, I'm sitting there watching TV. And I'm watching the streets where I fucking grew up. A little furry.

I used to go out there to get hot dogs. And, you know, they're showing low Manhattan. That's why I used to go get my valiums and shit like that back in the day. And, you know, it's all flooded. And it's a fucking nightmare. You gotta think that 30, 40 years from now, a fucking storm that'll come and wipe that shit out. But I'll tell you what the sad thing is about this.

We're next. Oh, you think so? Oh, fuck, yeah. California is do for something. An earthquake, something, you know? So, as long as it. I freaked me out. I hadn't felt one up until, like, a couple months ago,

and I felt my first one finally, and it wasn't that bad. But it freaked me out for, like, a second. If there was a big earthquake, I'd be gone. I'd move back to the next day, if I survived it. You ain't gone nowhere, You're going to get a fucking generator. You're going to do Jumping Jackson your fucking apartment until they fucking clean up

the trees and stuff and that's it. You're going to fucking go to back the ball. What are you going to do in Boston? What are you going to do? You're going to exchange fucking Twitters with this chick? Now you've got to show you your little titties. What is wrong with you? I said, go for the monkey. There's a reason.

There's a psychological fucking twist, but we'll get to that later. We're going to fill you in on details. We're going to have a party for Christmas, fart and Lee's face party. And we'll break that down for you. We were breaking it down last night. Lee was having a heart attack on the phone.

So for the end of the year, we're going to do a special thing for you, the church when I get together before Lee goes to Boston. Get a couple broads here to fucking fart in his face. I got the whole plan on. He loves it. He called me at work last night telling me this, and I've never heard him laugh so hard. Oh, because this is, Lee, you have no idea.

You dread this stuff about it. But we can't open this right now. We got shit to talk about. I got shit to talk about it. It's Wednesday. It's a beautiful day to be alive. I'm going to have my buddy, Jimmy, Lulah Loobs call up

With the North Bergen report And let you know what's going on the streets And he called me yesterday He was telling me And it was kind of sad Even growing up there You know, a lot of people don't know this I came from the second hilliest town

In New Jersey When we were fucking kids And it would rain the cemetery graves With wash up The bottom of 46th Street Hill would be little fucking skeletons And shit I can't even imagine what it's like now

I can't even imagine the bottom of those But the mayor from my hometown Was on CNN the other day talking shit. So who gives a fuck? The lights when, hey, listen, it's a disaster for the whole East Coast and my heart goes out to you. They can't even get, they don't even have fucking stick them. They can't even get

stick them right now. They're trying to get the subway, the subways are packed. Oh, that's, the water like up until the platforms, that's crazy to see. Oh, and fucking Atlantic City's done. Yeah, and I wrote a twit. Atlantic City's done finally. I love Atlantic City, but it needed to get cleaned up, needed to get modernized. So maybe this is helping. Seaside is

fucked up. You know, I grew up on seaside. I grew up in Seaside Heights. I was down every fucking summer since God knows when. That's where you go. That's where your parents take you. Long Beach Island, L.I. You know, fuck. I mean, it's just it really is. It just does something to you. But anyway, fucking

sons of anarchy, the plot is thickening. Gemma was getting high. They car went off the fucking thing with the kids, but the plot sticking. You know, Clay is just a fucking shithead. But I got to watch it again this morning because what happens is on Tuesdays. It's my acupuncture day. I go to the store.

I got a little edible pool. And next, you know, I'm watching this shit. I don't even know what the fuck's going on until after it finishes. But I know the plot is sticking and shit. Poor fucking Chuck Zito. Yeah, sure. That's only Tuesdays for you. What's up?

That's only Tuesdays. Yeah, but I like it on Tuesdays because I'm busy at the end of the week. So I got to get my shit my groove on like Stella on Monday or Tuesday. You know what I'm saying? You got to live like Stella. You got to get your fucking groove on, you know? What else is my got going on today? I got a couple things I want to talk to you about.

And I'll tell you what? For you people into politics and voting. See, it's like gambling, all right? You can look at the teams and the quarterbacks and the strategies and their number three on offense and you can't figure out shit. People still lose. They get the betting reports.

Same thing's going on with politics. You guys sit there and you listen to what these momos are saying, the same thing that these momos have been saying for the last 40 years since I came from Cuba. Nothing ever changed and nothing ever happens. So after a while, you just become tolerant to it. So you're watching all this shit. Yeah, and I'm listening.

I'm watching about this hurricane coming And I'm thinking of myself, Obama's probably jumping up and fucking down. Why would you say that? Because, let me tell you something, this is what the country is looking at, to see how a president reacts. You know, we got zero marks when the storm hit New Orleans. Okay. They say the system fucking failed.

Let's see if it fails for this. Everybody's watching. You know, that's why Governor Christie, in the interview last night, I think of 2020, whatever, he was talking about CNN. He was talking about how, you know, we're going to start rebuilding next fucking week. He was just letting the president know how we're fucking doing this. We're starting to rebuild.

Today was a day of sorrow, and tomorrow we're going to start fucking rebuilding this motherfucker this week. We're going to go for it. So right now, today, like last night he flew in. He was hanging out with white people, Obama, singing Bruce Springsteen songs, jumping up and down. They were all clapping, you know, born in the USA. You know, the whole fucking deal.

They're having fun. They got together. If Obama is in Germany. Jersey today and he starts shoving our fucking 20s all over Jersey in New York. It's over. It's over. You think so? Yeah, because that's what they're looking at.

Supposedly Romney said shit about FEMA and all this stuff. Well, now we're going to fucking see. We're going to see if this. I don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about. I just read little articles here and there in the paper. But yesterday it was funny because when I saw that, that's the first thing I said to my wife, that this whole country's watching now to see how this guy reacts. This guy saves a fucking little town and starts jumping up on channel fucking four.

Obama, you little Romney motherfuckers are done. It's over. You might as well pack your shit, get your little tambourines and go back to Utah, whatever the fuck he's from. Boston up there, I don't fucking give a fuck. But yeah, we're going to see how he reacts to this. This is going to be great this week. Yeah, it's interesting you say that

because I don't know if you watch 30 Rock anymore, but there's a line that Tracy Jordan had in the last one about in an election because he said he was talking to someone, he's saying, I've done comedy all over this country, so no one knows the country better than I do. So, I mean, you probably know what people are looking for because you've been

Oh, I just know what society is looking for. They failed last time. They failed. When New Orleans got hit, people, black people are floating for fucking a week. They never wanted this to happen again. That's why they've been so precautionist

about both hurricanes that have come to Zend. They're going to watch how the president reacts to this. This is going to be the real deal. Today, you should see the president on TV all day with galoshes on. That's what the president should do if he wants to win.

He should go down there. All they got to do is show the president with a board in his hand. Jumping up and down with Bruce Springsteen and fucking, you know, get some other chick singing songs and shit. It's over. It's over. Get some chick from Jersey barefoot with a fucking guitar.

What? They don't show a picture of him hugging Snooky's baby or something. It's over. It's over Romney. And I don't care. I can't vote. I know that both fucking ways. It's a disaster no matter how we cut it.

Yeah. So I don't give a fuck. But it's happy Halloween. What are you going to dress up as? A little cock sucker. Look at you. We're your little Mortimer brown hair dude today. I'm going as a flying junior night.

How you really know? What is a flying Jew consistent? Because my man, Einstein, a 10th Planet, Cover City. Yeah. Is going as Jew Jitsu. He had to pick up the ghee with the fucking star of David on it. That's hilarious. And he got a long beard.

You know how people do. Jews go crazy. Jews don't like Halloween. I don't know how the wings made out of money or something. Jews don't like Halloween. They don't like buying candy for little fucking black kids. That's just the way that. People knocking on my door.

They want candies. I don't need this shit. I can be spending this shit on fucking bagels. Now, let me ask you something. I just, because I was thinking when you said that, I was thinking Jews probably wouldn't like UNICEF. Did you guys do anything with UNICEF? Because I would imagine that would have been like a-

Where you walk around with a box and you get coins. Did they have that when you were a kid? No, did you have to do that? When I was a kid, yeah, you'd walk around and get candy and change for kids in Africa. So there's a fuck, UNICEF. I assumed you would have stolen that. Stop it, will you? Stole fucking from unicef.

What's the matter with you? I got class. I stole from some blind kids once in a glass at Carvel. I was like $3 to get into the city. And I fucking took the jaw. I always felt guilty about that. I was at Carvel. It was like supposed to run the corner

from Eddie Murphy's gas station in Fort Lee, New Jersey there and Anderson Avenue. I was in there getting an ice cream cold. There was a little jar. Some kid with a fucking playing a drum with a missing hoof. It's like, donate.

I took the fucking jar with $3 in it, and I'd never forgive him by themselves since. But it was funny that San Francisco won, you know, the World Series. I was on the phone with my uncle, and he told me, he's like, though, San Francisco's going to beat him. They're this scrappy team.

He goes, Detroit. a thousand dollar suit that's perfect he goes San Francisco's a thousand dollar suit with patches in it he goes they're going to take them down but it's funny how they want I was thinking about something which I've never really discussed you know you always talk about being bored okay life you know my whole life struggles and what we made the documentary about was getting out of North Bergen and I finally left North Bergen I was robbing these gas stations with Georgie and I was I was living like a fucking nomad and I had 18 grand I got the settlement

and I got 18 grand. I took 10, and I put it in the bank in Boulder, and I got 8 grand, and I played with it. And I didn't have to do nothing lately. Lee, I was bored. I was 24 years old. I just moved to Boulder. And here I am bored with money.

All I had to do was wake up every day, go get Chinese through, get some weed, and I was working out of the gym on the hill. I was having a great time. After a monthly, I'm bored. Yeah. And here I got the money to cover me, and I started going out and getting credit card sent out and using them.

And the cop finally put it together, and they came, and they wanted me to confirm. best and I took it on this girl I was dating at the time we went to San Francisco and we lived at the Virginia hotel which is now a hostel down to Tendeloin. Okay. In 1985 I lived in the fucking tenderloin. That's like living

in hell in 85. It was surrounded by black and fucking crazy people. I didn't give a fuck. I was young so I'm living in San Francisco. I'm hiding out and I find, you know, my mother died in 79. And in 79 after she died to Cubans got into the country. Okay. And now for

five years I had been hanging out with everything. but Cubans. Oh, wow. So in San Francisco in 85, I like how, I don't know, I went to the corner one day, and I realized that there was a lot of Cuban refugees. This area down the tenderloin,

these two blocks are run by Cuban refugees. I don't know that. It was amazing. I mean, I got in touch with myself again because I was lost, you know, and I was fucking crazy, but I hooked up with these guys, and it was sad because these guys were engineers

and lawyers in Cuba, but they were political prisoners that had been thrown in jail, and then when Castro opened up the gates of 79, they flooded them, to Minnesota first and they ended up in San Francisco. Okay. But now they were in San Francisco and they were fucking living like sons of anarchy,

they were moving coke, weed, heroin, guns, Cuban bitches, and they control these two blocks. I'm not kidding you, they control these two blocks. And they were very nice. I got to talk to him, and there was one guy. He was an old man. They called him Budo. He had white hair.

Budo means pure. You're the pureness of the family, you know? Oh, wow. And I became friends with him. And they liked me. They were like four, five of them. that were gangsters and they really liked me and I liked that.

And I was useful to them because I spoke English. So they would tell me, come on down every day. In those days, I used to dress up. In those days, I used to dress tight because I wanted to look good. So when I went out and I robbed you, you couldn't tell it was even me who robbed you. You know, I would go into buildings

and hawk fucking, you know, fucking deposits, banks and shit. So do you mean like a suit? Oh, yeah, I would dress up in suits or really nice shirts with shoes and pants. Oh, shit. And I would hang out down there. guys used to give me their overflow. Like some days I sold nickel bags for them. Some days

I cashed in travelers checks up in Japan City up there in San Francisco. Some days they got jewelry and I would take it to jewelry stores and get 10, 20 percent off the top. I never told nobody about this. No, I never heard of this. So the one guy's name was Bambusi. He was a very dear friend of mine. It was weird that he was an engineer in Cuba and Bambucy went out in the mornings at 7 and he fucking stayed out until 10 selling weed. Everyone, like I said, And at the time I was doing a little bit, I wasn't doing blow. I was smoking weed. And I had this girlfriend and that.

Bambusi was my kind of like street guy. You know, I reported to Bambusi and I reported to Pudo. And I was making thousands with these guys. And I had 10,000 in the bank in Boulder, and I had $8,000 I was playing with. But I held on to those $8 grand tight, and I was just rolling on the street with the street money I was making. And I would make a buck 40 here, $300, you know, $800 off the traveler's checks. So to make a long story short, one, that they come to me, they go, listen, you got a piece.

At the time, I had this old fucking 38th, you know, and I was infatuated with weapons at the time. And I had this gun, and they called me, and they said, hey, we need for you to bodyguard, one of our friends for the weekend. You know, and I go, okay. And the guy came up. They said, go to a hotel, go to the Hilton,

across from where I was staying. There was a Hilton. There was a hotel, California restaurant there. A couple different hotels. It's all different. for now and I went over there and I get to the fucking hotel room and it's this Cuban guy that's like a gangster really handsome at the time he looked like manny from the scarface okay he was married with kids but his freak was his fucking mental block which which is a big mental block

of the guys that went to jail in Cuba was he like men he liked to smack the shit out of men that dressed up his women so these guys weren't uh transsexuals yet they didn't have a pussy they were men okay fill their bra with paper work and they do, you know, fucking makeup. And women, you know, women you see on Santa Monica. And, you know, like, I think Santa Monica and, like, LaBre are transvestites. Santa Monica and Vine are fucking the full deal. They went to the farm and got the dick cut off and hanging out with Chas Bono

on the weekends playing the drums. Oh, Jesus. So, um, anyways. So I get to this apart. I get to this hotel and this guy said, come in. My name is whatever, real good looking guy in all of son. All these guys dressed up as women start coming out. out of this room and he's like this is sonya this is lucy and i'm like that's fucking

carlos and that's Jose you know who the fuck are you kids so do you like to have sex with them or like did you yeah he likes sex with him and he would have one main one that he would smack the fuck out of and she would cry in public it was crazy and then he had a parade of other ones that he would tell him to suck his dick and they were like coke mules fan what he would do is he would get him down to miami to send and he would pack them all up to get sent to san francisco so now i mean this is fucking crazy i was just thinking about this shit and I forget what the guy's name was I know the guy that hooked me up with him was bamboosy so you know I would have to go guard these guys at night I have to go up there

like 11 o'clock at night and they'd have coke they'd do cocaine I couldn't do coke then I would just stand out in the hall and he would smack the fuck out of the man every night he smacked the one gay guy and smacked him and she would yell no poppy no poppy he would smack the fuck out of it oh my god he was crazy this was crazy this and I couldn't say I would tell the guys what the that you involved me and they would giggle. A guy was paying me probably 400 a day, 500 cash a day. So there are guys who go to jail and they get them into guys when they're in there, but when they get out, they don't go back?

No, there are guys that go to jail. While they get in jail, they get a guy, and they say, from now on, you're going to be my fucking girlfriend in the Cuban jails, especially when there's violence is, you know, the main thing. I mean, the Cuban jails, no more. They have this big room, and there's a hole in the middle. And you walk around naked, and that's where you piss and shit. So every time you shit there's naked men watching you,

they break you down to the 20th degree. Jesus. You know, a jail in the United States, and the jail from Cuba is two different situations. The United States is a jail. They give you a blanket in a suit. Cuba, you got to fight for that fucking shirt. And that temperature drops.

That shit gets cold out there like a motherfucker. And here you are in a jail from the 16th fucking century. So it's a struggle. But what they do is they get a guy and they go, you're going to be my bitch. And they make them put makeup on and lipstick and wigs. And they make them get a, a bra and fill him up and that's what they do

but it's hysterical and the guys play along like hi poppy don't hit me and he smacks and there was no 911 there was no domestic violence but the funny thing was that they the reason why I lost my job with this guy is he had a Colombian buddy that would stash the blow for him and I found out where it was and in those days I was crazy

I think I told you the story I went over there and I got the key to the room and I busted the fucking thing down even though I had the key for some stupid reason I went in, there was two bags. There was a bag with blowing it, and there was a, there was, and with American cash in it,

and there was another bag with a ton of Colombian money. Tons, tons, packed, packed, to the top, and a little American cash in it. So me being the asshole that I am, I left the Coke, because I didn't want to put it back on a plane, I didn't know how to take it. I was just stupid, I wasn't thinking,

and I took the bag with the Colombian money, and I took that back to my whole time room, but I counted. and it was like 3 million fucking Colombian and it was maybe 10,000 American so I get out of the phone with my friends with lube's and all these guys on my dog I got 3 million fucking Colombian

I will be on the plane back tomorrow morning all I'm going to do is go to the bank place where you cashing your money and right from there I'm not even packing I'm getting a fucking cab to SFO and I'm flying right to Newark for the party of the fucking decade on me so you see

you stole from the Colombian mob or whatever the fucking is The Colombian mob was just three fucking guys dressed up like Puerto Ricans. Who fucking knows. What is this discovery? The Colombian mob. This is fucking two guys trying to make a living.

So I go into their room and I fucking take the run wrong bag. So I go back to my hotel room and they're looking for me like they know. They think it was me. I lay low and I call this big fucking black dude I know.

Bamboosy knows and I tell him to meet me at the hotel at 9 in the morning. We're going to go make a little bit. big delivery and I called my buddies and I tell them to listen I'm going to cash this money and as soon as I cash it I'm going right to the fucking airport and I'm flying back to the North Bergen and we're going to have the party of a decade it's uh it's probably September of 85 I have left in June of 85 I was really homesick I was ready home and lose my mind and the next day I get up early in the morning I do my jumping jacks I eat a nice breakfast I got like $3 I promised the black

do 10 G's. I'm a big shot in my mind. The fucking thing opens at 9. I get there at 855 where you go excuse me transfer money. Yeah. So I say you have money from Israel and you want to cash it in, you know,

you go and they have a denomination, they put in the calculator. I had so much fucking Colombian cash. They couldn't even fit it under the holes. A guard had to come on, I had to hand them the fucking baggie with all the Colombian money. This is how fucking crazy this was. And that wouldn't like set off a

Bell? Like, no. They don't give a fuck. Nobody gives a fuck. Only on CSI, Miami. When I'm making 10 points on your 3 million, nobody cares. Okay.

So you're looking at the paperwork, looking at numbers. Oh my God. So you're watching too much televisionally. So he looks at it. He rings it up. There, they're wringing it up for fucking an hour. He counting 20s.

And they look at me straight in the face. They're like, it's going to be like $340 American. I was fucking heartbroken. I robbed that money. They're looking for me. I thought I had millions in Colombian money, and it was like $300,000.

I had to give the black guy $200 the bodyguard. I was already minus two. So you have no fucking idea. So for some reason, I was just thinking of that last night with the fucking guy with the 6K guys. It was Lee. It was crazy, dog. And he never asked me, like,

do you want to get your dick sucked? Do you want to play the bongos with these guys and put on a cable? He just, you know, I kept him. myself outside this fucking hotel room. So this is laying low for you? That was laying low. That was laying low in 85.

Well, I was trying to break into the fucking criminal business because I was bored like you are. I thought I was bored. That's why I was thinking about the story. I was like, yeah, I got this money, I should be out slinging dick, I should be out robbing people. But that was one of my... San Francisco

was deep for me, bro. Those were three or four months that were... That's what I was doing. I was carrying a gun. I was selling travelers checks. You know, I never wrote nobody in San Francisco. That was fucked up. I had a little job bartender that cuckoo's nest up on Hayd Ashbury. I don't fuck around, Lee.

I don't fuck around, though. Jesus. So how, like, I understand that you, like, you found out they were Cuban, but how do you go from, hey, you're Cuban to I'm going to start bodyguarding the head boss or whatever guy? That was just, it just happens. That just happens, bro. This is what you're going down in. I just started going down there.

I started talking to people. and then after a while they would say listen man in 85 I would buy so many nickel bags and 178 in them those are Cuban refugees too that one day I asked them to us and what I need to do here to get a part of the collective they got you got sell nickel bags for us

I said all right they would give you like fucking 25 nickel bags okay at $5 that's $200 and that's $125 and they would let you keep $25 of that so you would have to sell four, five hundred, six hundred nickel bags in Harlem

to make any type of money. Like 120, if you sold 500 nickel bags as a street dealer for those fucking guys, you make $125 in those days. That's all day. That's a 15 fucking hour day. And is a nickel bag like a gram like saying? Who knows?

It was a nickel bag. No, bro, those denominations don't even exist anymore. Oh, I didn't know if it was like one butt or something. You couldn't buy a nickel bag today of your life. It's $218. for a grant. You know, what's a fucking nickel bag

out of that? It's a nickel bag is half of that. Yeah, you used to get three joints out of a nickel bag of brown weed or something like that. Oh, okay.

Lee, Lee, motherfucking Lee was in the house. What time you got Lee? I got my man Louby called up with the report. What's going on, Lee?

What else has happened? I want to give out some shoutouts before I forget to some great fucking people. Shout out alert. Rich Lobos, Lance Johnson, Rob McKenzie,

Lewis Barhad, Farhad. Allee. Everybody says I don't like fucking Arabs. There's my bad guy. Far hard. I'm with the Jews. I'm with the Arabs.

And my girl, N.B. Leaf girl, up in Canada. She invited me to a fucking football game. I'm not to take Lee over there to Miami against New England. That's how he rose. That would be awesome. I thought she was coming by herself. She's like a squeeze of titty. Then she throws the fucking husband in there.

How are you going to act, Lee, with your fucking rimzane? Clean cock sucker. You bad to the bone. What else is going on in your life, Lee? Well, since you told the entire world, I'm seeing that girl when I go back And so for the past week I've been eating like super healthy

Like I haven't had any fast food Or I've been eating really healthy And I'm fucking hungry Oh yeah It's tough It's tough You know what man I'll tell you what might help

I might give you some protein powder Because You think that I'll fill you up Well I'll tell you what man You're trying to get healthy You're trying to lose weight You know if you replay All fucking slim fast

This is a meal replacement With a lot of fiber And you shit blood for three months But you're not gonna live like that forever You're not going to live on Slim Fass Shakesh. When you go to Boston, you've got your girl, you're going to have to spend, eat lobsters and shit. There's no shrimp fass.

After you eat that monkey, you're going to be laying out of the bed. She's going to feed your grapes like fucking Julius Caesar, where your little dark shadows head do. But anyway, you know, I've been, I use meal replacement. So Omnitt sent this bunch of stuff. You know, Joe told me about the protein shake. That's tremendous. I don't know what the grams of protein are in it.

Omnick's got some great stuff if you're a fat buck, by the way. You get the mood enhancer. to help you with your mood because you're hungry. Okay. Then you get the fucking bone and stone, the glucamine and everything for your joints. Because when you're a fat fuck, let me tell you something.

They expect you to go to a Y and run or ride a bike. Let me tell you something. When you're a fat fuck, when you're over 300 pounds, your joints hurt. Especially when you first started a workout. First couple days, man, your joints are going to hurt. You're going to go, you know what? I can't go back.

My joints are hurting. That's why you want to do stuff that is not high, whatever, high intensity, like a pool. That's why I said to go on a pool. Fat Man Alert. Fat Man Alert. You're seven fucking weeks from the holidays. If you don't lift your metabolism now by December 18th, your asshole's going to blow and your head's going to blow from how fat you are.

So you've got to get on the bike right now. Fat Man Alert. Every fuck three, four times this week, you start with five minutes a fucking day on the bicycle, or you go for a walk. I just read a research out of fucking career. If you're a fat fuck, I'm serious. I go out with I lie to you.

I read all this stuff about health. It was on Twitter, and I found I kept clicking, clicking. It took me all the way back to fucking career to the Dundhoun Kuhn fucking clan though. The Koreans, I'm just fucking around with you. But seriously, they did a study in Korea about 30 minutes a day.

It lowers your cortisol. It gets your heart in shape. You know, it raises your metabolism. 30 minutes a day you're walking and they say you can break it up into three fucking segments. So that means you can walk around your block for 10 minutes, go upstairs eat a eat a cheeseburger, walk around your block for 10 minutes, go upstairs, eat a fucking salad,

and walk around your block and eat an apple. and I said that making it easy for you guys so man fat man alert fat man alert seven weeks to fucking holidays you got to start now because if not by the time fucking Thanksgiving comes you're going to be 80 fucking pounds every I'm not talking about you but you're not doing

jumping jacks you're trying to do the best you can't but you're still not getting to the heart of the patois with this chick I'm telling you they're going to get you in the hotel room they got three black guys in fucking some part of Boston they're going to finger fuck you and then they're going to and you're going to be thinking about Joey that's why it's a sister You're going for the monkey.

You're like, send me a picture of your titty's. What's that going to do? I know a girl up the corner for $3 to show your fucking titties all day long. That's not the problem. You want to get the fucking picture of the monkey. How old is she? What are you kidding me? That thing, it pictures beautifully. It's not like your 40 and the

fucking limbs hanging off and the noodles is going the other way. It's 20. Tell her, take a picture and send it. You're in for sure. But she's got to put a part of commitment. I can't have my boy Lee running around Boston. All you need is a girl to get their hands on you now. She sucks your little dick and sniffs your balls.

You'll be giving her every dollar in your fucking little Jew bank account. It's all over. You'll be coming back like a fucking money rabbit where your pockets hanging out all broke with me crying and shit. Get it together. You got to invest. You got a bunch of bitches hitting you up online. You're like a sweet daddy pip. You're like, well, do you know the fucking power that

Lees Sian has from Israel direct? I think you know more than I do. No, but this is what I'm trying to say to you because you're sitting there all shy, your face is all red. Like I got to light a cigarette off I'm sure you could right now. I'm telling you right now. What we're going to do is this, all right, people. Listen, we're going to get up a location here in L.A.

I'm going to charge 25 bucks at the door. I'm not going to make a dime. 20 of it. Let's say we get 100 people to come down and watch. 200 people. We're going to get that $20, and we're going to chop it up three ways. We're going to get three hot chicks. They're going to hit me up on Twitter or your boyfriends,

and we're going to show a picture of your ass. Shut up, bitch. And your boyfriends are going to submit you because they're not going to have sex with them. What they're going to do is we're going to get Lee. We're going to put them on a stage. We're going to get three chicks to sit there very nice. They're going to go to Taco Bell. They're going to go to wherever they want in the daytime and eat.

Bring the receipt. We'll take the out of the tap. Go to Taco Bell, go get some Chinese food, eat some sour cream by the fucking gallon. I want you to get your asshole ready. Lee's going to sit on a stage of his mouth open. Now. Well, it's not you said they had to be clean. Huh?

Let's not you said they had to be clean. No, their asshole has to be clean. Taco Bell is clean because they're going to eat it. Not shit. And I don't want nobody there with shitty mufflers. You're going to have a nice muffler. You're going to put you on stage. Leaves is going to sniff it first.

He's going to sniff the gunpowder because they know a good woman, their ass will smell like gunpowder. They just smell like shit. It's a little gunpowder. Then you're going to open your mouth. Then they're going to fart in your face. But while they're farting in your face, you're going to have your finger in their little pussy, just moving around when it's nice and wet.

That little tight, look, his leaves, face is getting redder or anything like that. So I don't want you to faint from the fart in your mouth. mouth. I want you to take it in and then real quick, pop your finger out and put it under your nose and sniff it so it brings your back. It's like when you go to a doctor and they give you a needle and you go to faint, they give that aluminum thing under your nose, the pneumonia.

It's the same thing, so you're going to take your finger out and sniff it so you don't pass out. What does my mouth have to be open? Because that's part of the whole thing. You're eating it as your mouth is open. You're not sitting there with your mouth closed like you're swimming under water. You've got that mouth open. Look at that fucking muffling and you're going to fart in your eyeball and you're going to have

mouth open. So 20 bucks, let's say 200 people show up times 20. We're going to take that and chop it up between three girls. The five goes to you for damages. Cases you got to take it to the dog, to the hospital, or they loosen up a tooth in your mouth from a fart something. But at least you get something. I was there fart in your face. You got

your little pinky in there. Monkey shaking it around. So as soon as they fart, as soon as you feel a little weak, you just smell your finger. You're back like fucking Batman in 69. Are all three of them doing it at once? No, no, one of the time. I sit through three different ones.

Lee, who the fuck of you? What was the last time of a chick farting? Never. All right, then. Then what do you get next to look at you? Have you had to go over on your face? Always. That's part of the whole thing.

That's part of the whole world. Every savage is finally told the way to go. Go for broke. Fart my fucking eyeball. Go, you know what I'm saying? Look at you. Look at you. Look at Lee.

It's all giggly and shit. What are you? Lee, I got to have a long talk with you. You're fucking. You're acting all fucking strange and shit Ford my eyeball Oh my god You don't fart your eyeball

That's what we're trying to butt We're trying to fucking turn you out What was the last time you've been turned out? You ever been turned out by a hooker Where she shows a finger up ears and sucks your balls Sings a wrigoletto songs and shit like that You never been turned out That's what you're probably

You know if I do like Rick James sister to turn you out We need like a pimp black chick and just turn you out, put a bell up your ass, the whole foot, put a butt plug up your ass to suck your balls. What is going on here? You know what's going on, Coxsack. We're going to take you to the next level. Put some music off me.

I'm going to pass out. Where's this fucking guy? He's supposed to call. He's going to call me in an hour, stuttering up a storm. Oh, my God. All right, here we go. Here you go, little foolfighters. I love this song.

When I'm having a bad day, I put this fucking song on. I go out there, I sling dig with a flicked like a soldier. like a medic like my buddy recommended there he said you guys are a doctor and a fucking a soldier together that's a medic so a lot of people don't know that I'm trying to fill you in leave bleep blast this shit what what what oh shit so we're looking for three girls to volunteer for this they got to be spotless hot or he won't do it he won't do it he won't do it I'm not going to be able to listen this time. Send your request to Twitter

if you want to find Lee's face a week before Christmas. Oh my God. I know you all do. Don't be lying. I'm sorry I'm calling him, but I got to remind this fucking kid, you know what I'm saying? He probably went back to sleep.

He stuttering himself back to fucking... What's up, Lee? Turn the music off. He's looking at me staring. You're in shock, Lee. What's the problem? Yeah, I don't know if I can talk for the nice couple of hours. Nah, Lee, this is what it's all about.

This is what it's all about. You're talking about. You're supposed to be. you know, loving me and telling me this shit that this is what you want to do. You know, Lee, you're a young man. All I'm trying to let you know is you got the world by the balls. I don't know if I survive.

Listen, if you're fucking younger than 40, today, in today's world, you got the world by the ball. You can do whatever the fuck you want to do. You don't even fucking know that. That's why. You know, that's why I try to tell you the truth. You're a young kid, you're 24. You want to do more.

But it all starts with this chick, just bite. How can you move when you're stuck? You haven't had a chick, you haven't sniffed a muffler. When you sniff that little ass and smell. like a fucking stick of dynamite like gunpowder. And she's got little barnacles around her little, oh, you don't know what that's like, Lee. It's a fucking package.

That sounds like my worst nightmare, wasn't it? No, no, you love it. You're a fucking pimp. You're a pimp slinging dick and giving out bubble gum. Yeah, well, why does you have to have shit on her ass? I didn't say shit. What's bonnacles? The bonnacles is like the flavor. Doesn't mean you got shit on your ass. The flavor. Here we go.

Here we go. What's happening, my little brother? What's up, buddy? I just had to take a little spin around the block before I go back. What's going on? It's cold out. Is it cold out? Is it still raining back there in New York, New Jersey area?

No, those people that don't have heat, they're trying for them. They're what? No power. They still got no power, but I heard you got power, right? Two weeks to get power? Two weeks to get power? Two million people? Two weeks?

At least. Minimum. Minimum. Yeah. Now, how bad is the neighborhood look? How bad does the neighborhood look? Oh, terrible. Terrible.

Do you know, I tell you what? Out of the whole town, there's like maybe seven blocks. You know, like, 79 to like 80 seconds. And then the rest of the town is right down. Trees, trees, trees down, everything. No power. It's getting cold out, too. It's got to be like 40 degrees on now, too.

Now, what do you got to eat? Anything open to go eat? like fucking mixed pizza, nothing? Nothing's open, nothing's open, nothing's open, no, nothing. You can't find milk, you can't find soda, you can't find nothing. That's a fucking night.

It's like, you know, your worst nightmare, I am. And you can't go into the city, the city's closed from 39th Street all the way down? You know what I see New York City last, last night. Like, you know, like, those streets that we used to go to, like, you know, whatever, it's 20, 20, 30th Street, we should get those, those little dine bags apart. Yeah.

Right. Now it's completely pitch. Pitch talk. Clause, no street action. And it's caused flying by both directions, and you have people trying to cross the street with these little flashlights. It's a funny thing. And people with those minor hats on.

Yeah. Oh, it's the funniest thing. Oh, right. Oh, my God, loose. Now, the George Washington bridges open, like, let's say you want to go get a package of fucking powder in the city. That's impossible.

No, no, no. They don't either... I have the seven or eight, you know, like major bridges and that. The only thing in that that's open is the Lincoln Tunnel. Holy shit. And they stop you there, and you have to have a... And they say, why are you going into a tunnel? And, you know, you have to be either a work or a lip there or, you know, something.

Otherwise, the Holland Tunnel is under seven feet. It's coming in water up to seven feet. You didn't believe that seven feet of water? Seven fucking feet. You know, I'm watching on TV. You know, Loubs, they had Little Ferry on. They had all these fucking things on, and I'm watching this. You know, I don't know how many times I drove out to Little Ferry.

I don't know how many times, you know, we were down the fucking Jersey Shore. I don't know. It's like real, shit in that. Did you see a 6 o'clock? Fucking gone. You know, they had that nice boardwalk and everything. Yeah. Now, they get the first wheel is flowing in a,

they showed you a picture. The first wheel is like floating in the ocean. The whole bollook is gone. Remember that's what we used to go get, the open turkey sandwich? What was the name of that place? Oh, those, and those, uh, the, uh, the giant snops, you know?

Oh, my God. What was the name of that place? The Flemings or something? I don't know. Somebody was just telling me it's still fucking open. I remember gutting in the car during the week and going down there with Conti and driving an hour to fucking get a sandwich down there

and driving back that same night just to get those sandwiches down the shit. Oh, yeah, yeah. So when I see the governor walking on the beach yesterday, I was heartbroken, man. I just, you know, what are you going to do? Get up and fucking cry? You know, are a...

government that that's that bastard christie and that he was he was over crying saying he was done with that was my childhood my childhood yeah i mean you know look at it is that him child childhood i'm asking about looms i mean i grew up downtown you know i grew up on giving that terrace right and i know we're like carlos used to live and shit you know we were kids and they would rain like it would just rain the fucking cemetery would wash up and i remember them having like that street closed off of 46 street and taking up body like little skeleton parts and shit. I can't imagine.

Like, my basement used to flood in the 70s. What would happen? Did your basement flood and all that, or no? Don't worry about it. I live on the hills, so. So everything, your basement didn't flood, the bottom of those hills aren't fucking like a little... No, no. The water goes right down the hill boy.

But people like in, like Little Ferry. Did you see that? Yeah. It's basement flooded. His basement flooded. It's first floor flooded. And the water is. went, came up to the fifth stair.

They were standing on the top of the stairs, you know, shaking in that because you couldn't read their house because outside the house was like 10 feet of water. That is funny. It was like, you know, it was like a deep. And there's one town, let's live in the story, there's one town in Queens, New York, where all the, like, firefighters live like, you know. It's a cold, what, greedy points. Right, they had over 100 fires.

They have 100, right? Right, they have 110 houses, right? And a fire started there, and out of the 110 houses, 85 were burnt down to the ground, and they couldn't do nothing about it because the wind was, but was 110 miles from around. Just like blowing a fire. And these people were crying saying,

What did we do warn? It's just fire coming, it's fire, you know. It's like, you know, God has shown us out the, what's it called? The Mayans, they're giving us a fucking warning, Luke. Yeah, yeah. No, no, I was, you know, and you know me, man, I'm a skeptic, Luby, and I started hearing about the storming, like, what are they trying to do, scare white people?

I go, that's what I thought they were doing. You know, scaring white people, go shopping, go buy a generator. It fucking blew my mind. You know, I've been calling you guys since Sunday. keeping track with half of you, motherfucker. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. It was like the storm, but, like, you know, they're like outsmart.

Everybody came up and just sat there, building up some strength, and a way to put it for, you know, when I high guard to come, waiting for it for it, put it out full moon. And then it says, hmm, let's just go and burn Jersey, Jersey in the city for a little bone.

Let me tell you something, you know, we were kids. We got nothing out of you. No, you guys got a little shaking, you know, little mumble there, you know? Yeah, well, no, we got earthquakes. And Lou's, you know, I was thinking about the worst the weather would get. We were kids that would get really cold. There's a park.

Boy, you guys that don't know, it's called Hudson County Park. And they'd have a little lake up there. The weather would fucking freeze in January. We would wait, and then the lake would freeze up. In the middle, it was a little island. And we would cross. Right, right. They should call it the island of the Canada.

I was a little bit of the island. And we would walk across with a cake. Right. And the one that we ate a bunch of quailudes, and we went to the Wing-Fung Chinese restaurant, where we'd always run out of it. And Joe Fokarachio was with us, and he had a hook nose.

And all of a sudden he ate a quailu or something. He fell asleep in the fucking pork fried rice. And his face was going to his nostrils. And the rice was going to his nostrils. And it was stuck all the nose of that. My guy, what's so funny? What's so funny? What's so funny?

The fucking rice is coming out of your nose. I don't know how many times I dined and dashed out of that fucking wing phone. They used to be pissed at me. I used to go when they were eating and run out. Oh, my God. Right, right. And then you say, loo me, let me, wait. I'll be right back.

I'm going to the mantel. I said, uh-oh, there he goes, Dining Dash. We would dine. That's why I learned. how to dine and dash the wing fun yeah yeah because i took my time we should we should we should do it to where we were i just

oh oh hey i'll be right back yeah we just leave you there fucking running right to buy the back door and we leave somebody sitting there right oh my god coffee somebody oh my god lose that was so funny we used to run out of there

well i tell you wait i'm i'm just happy that i got power of english yeah what do you do without power I know, I'm like, what do you do? You just sit in the dark house freezing? You know, now it's cold. And where'd you get the generators from, Luce? Oh, wait, how about this?

My dad says to me, don't worry about that. You go with the Pope of Asia Street. We got power. I almost died. I almost died when he said that. So you have a generator, correct? You have two fucking, uh... Yeah, my, yeah, but he doesn't...

know that, you know, he's old. He didn't stop. We just got, we just got power because of him. I didn't tell him there's a generator. I started running. Where'd you get the generators from, Luz? What's that? Where'd you get the generators from?

I go visit my boy up in Pennsylvania. He does all that stuff, and generating that. And what do you got, diesel fuel them? Yeah, diesel fuel. They run for about, like, three, four days. Holy shit. And then, yeah. And, like, you know, you've got to keep feeling that.

But still, you know, right now, just people like, my, my neighbor goes, boy, my half is ice cold in that. Because in the morning, it was at 40 degrees out. You know, that's a pretty cold one, you know, all night long enough, and you basically not are used to that cold. Cold weather. Well, if you got that cold in my house. Is mom cooking and shit or no? I guess. What's that you're cool of shit?

Yeah. What she cooked yesterday? Some chicken cutlets, what she cooked? No, no. The shit, you got me up, really? I, you know, I put the order for, like, you know, some buttermilk pancakes. He put the order. Oh, Bobcooks, too.

My little pancakes, please? You're a bad motherfucker. All right. You're going to be home. I'll call you a little while. I'm happy you called this. All right. I gave us.

I call you in about an hour. Get the edges. You know, I love you, buddy. Have a good day, cucksucker. All right, buddy. Stay black. Jesus Christ. Can you and you?

Can you imagine you and him having a conversation to stutter each other and the death? I, I, I, I, aye, aye, I, I. Him stuttering, you stuttering. I don't normally stutter. It's only when you can tell the black girl's going to fart on my face. Oh, he's a great guy. This kid, Loeb's, man. Let me tell you some.

I've been friends with Loebbs since a sophomore year, freshman year in high school. And I can't tell you how many times he covered for me. If I didn't talk to this guy, I would be the biggest piece of shit in the world. I mean, this guy used to come to hotels and bring me food, and he'd always show me like, Like if I called him, I said, Lou's, I got no money,

I snorted coke last night, I'm broke, I'm hungry. He would bring me weed, chicken collards, mashed potatoes,

a fucking valium, a couple dollars to take a bus. You know, I grew up in his house, so I'm happy. He still calls. He's a bad motherfucker.

He stutters up a storm. The only time he don't stutters when you get him a couple bumps of coke, then he's straight. He's like fucking Pavarotti could sing songs. He jumped up and down.

I didn't know the storm was that bad, though, Because, I mean, I don't really watch the news, and I figured it was just water. You know, I always downplay everything. If I don't see fucking people floating or something, I always downplay something. But I've called everybody. I called everybody yesterday. And I could tell a lot of people on an instant the phone because they have no power.

So they got to save on the power. So they have to charge the car, the phone in their car. Yeah. So I know a lot of people that answer what my heart goes out to them. When I watched that shit, I grew up there. You know, it's like watching 9-11. I'm not going to sit here and cry and be on my hands and knees, but the bottom line is I grew up there,

and it does affect me, and my heart goes out to those people, if there's something I can do. So what we're going to do is when we do the fart and fucking your face contest, we're going to have proceeds out of your $5,000, whatever you don't use. We're going to send it to New Jersey, and, you know, because the flying Jews helping our Jersey. What the fuck? Don't you want the flying Jew to help our Jersey, people in the Jersey,

and know who you are? The flying Jew helped us out. I think Matt Flavor should help out of Jersey. Jersey. Well, that's what I'm going to do. We're going to help out by the women fart in your face, and I take a percentage, two points. So you get three points, and North Bergen gets two points. Who's better than you?

And you get the fucking finger-banger, chicken smell your finger. Come on, Lee. I'm taking care of you here. You know what I'm saying? I was just recovering, and now you're bringing it all back. You're Lee, you're 24. And it's like the rest of you guys and listen to this podcast and twit me. I love you guys.

That's why I fucking give you his all love with Johnson and Rob McKenzie and Richie Lamos. I love that you guys were a family on Twitter, and then we all stick together and fucking bang this out. I was going to give you an album of the day today, but I'm not going to move for fucking music. It's Halloween.

Who's going to stay in today? I'm happy that you're listening to this now. You're going to dress up, Lee? No, I've got to work. Jesus fucking Christ. I got a shit day, too, today. I'm not going to do much. I'm scared on Halloween.

Really? Yeah, man, this shit might go down. Somebody might kill a cat and skin him and put them on my doorstep. I don't need that bad luck. You know, I got kids knocking on the fucking door now. They want candy. I'm in here, stone locked up.

Trying to watch the rerun of Sonsa-Annic. I got these little fucking Mexican kids knocking on my door. Tric-a-tree, what the fuck? You're saying? I didn't know what it was yesterday. And they start early. These motherfuckers don't have a calendar. Trik-a-treat.

What the fuck? I had, like, gum. I gave one a pork job. I didn't even have candy yesterday. I had a meatloaf. I had to take the meatloaf. I don't give a fuck. They want some out of a couple dollars.

I give them. Whatever the fuck I got, I give them. It's just kids trying to make a hustle. You know what I'm saying? It's funny because when I went to the doctor, I went to the doctor last Thursday with my wife, the Kaiser, and I fucking hate going to the doctor on my own, never mind going with my wife.

But they put the thing, they did the thing on the stomach, and you see the baby on the screen, and they give you a polar right picture, 10,000. They give you a black and fucking white picture. iPhones got the best cam in the world, these fucking medical places still give you a picture of the baby. looking like a fucking skeleton in there. It's amazing that this is catching up to me.

I'm becoming a father, and this is what happens. And it's scary, you know, it's scary, but I'm optimistic. I got you motherfuckers that listen to the church and what's happening now. You guys got kids, so you'll be answering a lot of my fucking questions for once. You know what I'm saying? That's why I love you guys. I was just thinking about that. You told me about it.

We were driving down, I think it was to the Irvine Improvna, not Ontario, but now six or seven months later to go into Ontario this weekend. It's finally hitting you. It's two months away, and it's hitting me because you see it. I see my wife, you know, and I'll tell you, like I'm not that excited, but I'm excited when I see her. I love my wife. You know, I really do, I think the world of my wife.

She's a cool lady. It's weird. Like last night I went to the ha-ha, I did some comedy, and I wait until she falls asleep. I hang out with her all night, and then I go out. You know, I definitely want to shoot this special in January, so I really want to be ready, and I want my peeps to be ready. You know, we're going to try to get a little show,

because the same people come to the fart of the face show. I'm going to be invited to the CD taping because that's just the way it is. Stop laughing, Lee. This is serious. We're going to get this off. You've got to overcome this shit, Lee. It's over. You know, you've joined the church of what's happening.

Now you're my brother. I love you. And now I got to fucking do what I got to do. I got to take it to my wing. You got to do this kind of shit. But you got to pay attention. We're going to fucking make a soldier out of you. Don't you want to be a fucking.

You're giggling and you're jumping up and down on what? You're giggling. I used to think I did, but I think I'm fine now. No, you're fine. You got to get out there. you gotta do your thing. You just sat here and there and they told me how you're bored. You tell me how this girl says that I goof on you.

You're my brother. You're the flying Jew. Wait till the yamas can just come out and you have your yarmulka on the side, pimping. Because we're gonna have the yarmica so the design goes to the side like a black yarmica dude. You know what I'm saying? You can bust this motherfucker out. So you know I love you, Leo.

And all of you guys, man. I do this show. I get up at five, and I do this for my health. I do this to get money. No. I do this to you guys, get something out of your day. you go out there and fucking apply it to get something from me and apply it to your fucking day.

And you know what it is? Smoke a little joint, fucking live your life and go out there and bang it out the best that you can. And accept it for what it is. If you fail, you get up and get tomorrow and you fucking try again. You heard me today telling the story about being a bodyguard for a gay guy and a bunch of fucking transvestites.

That was my life 25 years ago. I'm ashamed of it? Fuck, no. I had a good time. Nobody sucked my dick. I didn't have to put a wig on. That's all that matters. But, you know what, we're here.

And we try every day. And that's why I tell you, you got the world by the fucking balls, you young cock suckers. You don't know what you got in front of you. Your young, get up, wash your dick, shine your shoes. You can't go out with shitty fucking shoes on. I see these motherfuckers with nice suits and their shoes ain't shine. How are you going to get your dick suckler? Your shoes got to be spotless.

You go to fucking the supermarket for $2. You get that shit, you put on your shoes. Then you buff them out. You give you these $2 to buff them out with the fucking towel. And you go out there and you greet the fucking day, dog. It's that easy, Lee. We're not doing brain surgery. I'm not doing...

That's what kills me about society that. You get a call saying that Brad Pitt was at the edge bar and they picked up his tab. But some doctor that just fucking saved somebody who got hit by a fucking car and was walking across to you with a lip, he gets done. He's got to pay the tab.

He's got to pay the tab. Our priorities are wrong straight. There's nothing wrong with you. When I was 21 and I was a bodyguard for a bunch of gay guys, I could have gone home and cried and said there was nothing wrong with, there was something wrong me, there was nothing wrong with me. Just the people I had around me at the time.

And even those Cubans are great fucking people because they watched me. I learned from them. So I'm not here to fucking poison, you know, Lee. I'm here to move your exploration along. The rest of you fucking guys, same thing. I'm not here to harm nobody. We just have a good time. This is a great time we have here in the mornings.

I love doing it, Lee. And I'm happy that you reminded me about testicle testaments. It's still in the top 10. It was number six this morning. Yeah. So thank you. Go to iTunes, pick up Testicle Testaments 1 and 2. We're going to release 4.

We're going to have the whole fucking series. And then we're going to put it into a whole one show. And I'm going to go out in the road and fucking tour it for you guys next year. Oh, shit. We're in Ontario this weekend, November 1st through the 4th. I don't know 909. I don't know what the fuck the number is. Timmy, you're in Prague.

It's 909-484-5-4-1. Call them to get tickets. I don't have any debt squad. Is Joe's going to be up in Seattle with Red Band and Greg Fitzsimmons, Ari's in Calgary and fucking Duncan and this is somewhere stabbing some Buddhist chick in the ass with dirty feet.

But you got great people on the show though. You got Felicia on the couple of movies. I got Felicia Friday and Saturday. I got Edward San Juan. I got Corey and Chad Thursday. I'm doing some radio to tomorrow to promote it. So come on out to the Ontario Improv. Also, I think Chicago might be sold out by now.

Oh shit. But I'm telling you right now, you don't want to miss this show. Next Thursday, November 8th, with the flying fucking Jew at the House of Blues tickets are online, I'll be in Arizona, and that's it, the end of the world show, I'm taping the special. What else we got going on, Lee? The documentary is still on payloads for five bucks or on Amazon for five bucks where I got

my boss from. Lee was the executive producer. I mean, you were everything out of Lee, right or wrong, you learned. You didn't know nothing? You didn't know nothing? We learned, didn't we? Yeah, we sure one day. You got to have the world, you got to fucking get up, you take the world by the balls.

Grab the fucking balls and say, fuck you world. I'm going out and I'm getting out with you. belong to me and everything belongs to you guys you're young go out there read a fucking book i'm reading that book american desperado tremendous yeah tremendous uh i'm gonna fill you guys in more next week we're gonna uh finish the sponsors up but i think i want to do something without it because uh this fucking shape you got to taste this stuff and just the joint stuff they have and never mind uh new moon and an alpha brain and uh shroom tech these are all great products and i know you heard joe talk about it they got a money and money and you know you heard joe talk about it they got a money

back guarantee and the if you guys don't want to fucking pay for it, steal the fucking chemicals and make them yourself you're at home like grandpa. Whatever the fuck. You can make your own

vitamins and home. I don't give a fuck what you do. As long as you get healthy. That's all we want here the church of what's happening now. I mean, I'm no fucking picture of health but we're all going to get healthy together in time, right?

Leacock sucker. You know, you're going to Boston. You're going to be on a sling dick. If you're huffing and puffing and you can't sling dick, she's 21. You got to give her 20, 30 minutes a cock. You got to be moving and let your asshole

on. fire and tell her you love her and you know her pussy smells like Jemez from Sons Anika, you got to work that shit. There's way too much asshole stuff going on it. Nah, but you're not just going to lick the asshole, you're going to sniff the muffler and the monkey, the patois of the pussy. That's the whole flavor

is the asshole and you lick it one time. You never lick an asshole? No, I've avoided it like the plague. This is what the problem is. This is the problem. This is society. Nobody wants to get to the patois. To the heart of the fucking matter. On the Wednesday, October 31st, don't forget, tomorrow is all

Saints Day and then all Souls Day and then Friday's all fucking Saints Day. For you Catholics you got to light a candle and even if you're not Catholic or you're a Christian you had somebody who died you light a candle and give them light wherever the fuck they are. Whether they're in hell, purgatory or fucking heaven.

You want to give them a little light. I feel good this morning. I went to acupuncture I had a fucking protein shake. You know what I'm saying? I got a good... I didn't get full eight hours but I got like five and a half. I got a couple things. They got a podcast with Felicia. I had a couple things and I'll come back and take of that it's Halloween I'm locking

these doors at five any fucking kid shows up I throw him right down the fucking stairs you think I'm kidding you ain't fucking around no more Lee I love you guys with all my heart we're not having a podcast this week we went oh and two in gambling last week what do you want to fucking talk to us for I went oh and two I mean

the under came in but not really it went over by four points it didn't come in I got to go to service to Subaru today okay that's gonna cost me eight million dollars but I'm looking forward to What do you got the rest of the week, Lee? What are you doing, brother?

Got work, and I think I'm going to come down Sunday with you. You're going to come down Sunday with me and everyone's that one. Don't forget, we're at the Ontario Improv. Next Wednesday, I'm at the Chicago House of Blues next Thursday, no further. And then the 16th and 17th. I'm in Scottsdale, Arizona. Oh, shit. At Scott, there's only 100 tickets at the place.

I'm only doing four shows. It's going to sell out quick. Don't fuck around. And after that, I'm home for two months because my wife is having a baby Lee. Thank you very much. I love you Lee. I kid you about the fart, but this we're going through with this. We're going to have a party. In that way, if you have any suggestions,

if you have any girls that, like I said, we'll split the fucking door. So if we get 200 people, 20 bucks, it's like $8,000, you guys get $6,000, we split, but fucking $2,000, for fart in the guy's face, ladies, that's your Christmas money that's sleep. And he just puts an inch of his finger,

your little twat and machine guns it. You know what I'm saying? You need a tequila coming in a spot of this. And then once they fart, once he smells it, before he passes out. because you don't want little Lee to pass out. What's this girl's name you're flirting with online, Lee? What's her name?

Don't say her last name, just say her first name. Rose. Rose, all right? Tell her you love him. Say, Rose, I love you. I can't wait to come to Boston and suck, you fucking twat. Straight from... Say it, say it, say it.

Straight from Joey Diaz. Say it, say it, I love you, Rose, because she's listening. This is like Titanic. She doesn't listen. I don't know. Well, just say it. Say what you want from. Tell her, you love her, Rose, I love you, dirty bitch.

Like that. Come on, Lee. What are you fucking hold on to your head for? You're all straight. You got the thing. It's covering your little bottom's collins. It's a dude. Tell a Rose.

What music do you want to? Tell her Rose, I love you. Go ahead. Say, Rose, I love you. Look at them. Folks. Do you see what I got to deal with? Look at him.

His face is rare. I think he's red. I don't want to say it. So just say you love it through Twitter. I love these people on Twitter. I don't meet half of them. I see them at shows. And then I fall on.

love with him like Monkey Todd and fucking She's a great person Well say I love you because once you say I love you on line she's going to say what the fuck you think I'm totally saying you love it trust me It's like somebody dedicate this song You ever see a broad when somebody calls and says I want to dedicate this song to my sweetheart

Maria I'm in prison for 18 years Say yeah I want to dedicate this song to you rose There you go ahead so put the best of you on by the Food Fighters all right Fucking people I love you guys safely have a safe Halloween

man be careful no matter keep your eyes in the back of your head there's a lot of fucking freaks out there bring the gun and shoot somebody too don't fuck around shoot them in the leg and run like oh my godfrey shoot him in the leg duck sucker run like a motherfucker listen you guys know I'm on Twitter

and Facebook and I love you at all my heart thank you for making this podcast success with you guys I mean it's always great getting up go to my fucking go to church of what's happening Leave a comment, subscribe. This helps me on so we can get more sponsors, better sponsors.

I can do this every week. We get a studio. We can fucking do live stuff. I mean, I'm going for it with this guys. I need your help. Thank you very much for listening. Have a great week. Have a great week.

And we'll see you back here Monday on stickham.com. I also want to give a shout out to my main man, Effron. He's one of the producers over at Stickham. And last week we were having problems and he came over. At 5 in the fucking morning. Knocked on my door. I almost got the gun and shot the mother. But it's real customer service.

I'm happy I stay with stick them. I'm happy to doing a great job. That's it, guys. Have a great weekend. Download this motherfucker. Tell you your friends, your family. Twitter, Lee Syatt, at Lee Syatt at Matt Flatt. Convinced this motherfucker.

Trust me. You guys have eaten ass. Talk to this guy. Tell him, tell Rose you love her. All right, we love you, people. This is for you, Rose. Have a great weekend. Stay black.

I've got another confession. Thank you.