The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #107 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ
Episode Date: October 18, 2021Welcome to The JOINT..... It's Monday, October 18th..... This episode is brought to you by DraftKings, Better Help & CBD Lion….. Download the DraftKings SportsBook App & Enter Code: JOEY https://www....DraftKings.com/sportsbook to receive $200 in Free Bets when you Bet $5 on any NFL Game…. Go to https://www.cbdlion.com Use Promo Code: JOEY, JOINT or CHURCH For 20% OFF Your Order! Go to https://www.BetterHelp.com/DIAZ Use PROMO CODE: DIAZ for 10% OFF your 1st Month! Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....
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What's happened, you bad motherfuckers?
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What's happened, you bad motherfuckers?
It's Monday the 18th.
We're here for another fun-filled episode
of Uncle Joey's joint.
I hope you all had a great weekend.
Everything worked out for you.
I had a great weekend.
You know, same shit.
Nothing changes.
The week was a little fucking weird.
Some things happened socially in our lives that we need to discuss today because it's getting too fucking, it's getting too fucking woke out there.
And the shit that happened this week, really, as you guys know, I do not like when people bring up shit from 20 years ago.
That's just wrong because people change.
Let's just talk about life right now.
In the last year, how much have I changed right before your eyes?
How much have I changed?
People change constantly.
Their thoughts, their opinions on things.
You know, when I was a kid, I hated cats.
I just fucking hated cats.
I see a cat, I throw a rock at it.
Now I got fucking cats.
I love fucking cats, you know.
But if it ain't one thing, it's the other in our society nowadays.
But we're just getting too fucking woke.
I noticed it when I left Los Angeles that there had been just a fucking change.
You know, for starters, let's talk about John Gruden, you know.
Listen, I'm not a Raider fan.
I'm not a fan anybody.
I'm a fan of fucking life, okay?
They were doing an investigation into the Washington Redskins.
They went through emails supposedly.
This is what I read and heard.
And they fucking found the emails of him going back.
and forth, one of the coaches, the general managers,
I don't know exactly what is.
I don't want to say it before I get myself in trouble.
And they found these emails with him talking about, you know,
Roger Goodell and fucking talking about some player in the league that had big lips or something like that.
Listen, it's wrong.
I get it.
I get what we're trying to do here.
But I don't think firing him was really a fuck.
And I don't know what's happened to people that they've lost their balls.
You know, like, you know, Al Davis' son is the fucking, you know, he's the president, I guess.
I don't know exactly what happened.
I know he got fired.
I know it was against the NFL policies and stuff like that.
But when he sent the emails, he wasn't even working for the NFL.
Now, let's take a look at his situation.
He's an NFL coach.
Now, I don't know.
What do you think at home?
60% of the NFL is African American.
He's been a fucking coach with the Raiders,
Tampa Bay, and then back to the Raiders.
If he was racist in any way,
don't you think one of the players would have said it after all these years?
I've seen him on that.
Ogging African American players and joking around with them.
And, you know, I've been watching them for fucking, I don't know,
20 fucking years.
I don't know.
Then he coached Tampa Bay early on.
You know, I watched him then.
I met him on the World,
the best damn sport show when he was coaching Tampa Bay.
And he seemed like an all right guy.
I mean, I don't know.
I don't know what people do behind closed doors.
And I understand.
It was behind closed doors and it was a joke.
I've made many off-color jokes,
many off-color jokes over the year.
But I have a past.
So just when that first started with the fucking, the Supreme Court justice,
that dude that covered a girl's mouth 20 years ago at a party,
but didn't do nothing to her.
Where is she today?
What did she get out of raising her hand 20 years fucking later?
And what do you get from raising your hand 20 years later from my behavior then?
Obviously, you don't think I corrected it over the years.
Obviously, you don't think that, even me, for example,
The other day I was at my friend's house to Pumas, and I was walking back.
And there's a fucking Amazon guy.
And he's an African-American kid.
And he's got the fucking volume blasted in the rap car, in the car.
And he's playing that fucking rap music, the real slow one.
I don't know.
I like old-school rap, Naz and all that stuff.
This is something new.
And the guy keeps saying, you know, the N-word over and oh, and it's loud in my neighborhood.
You know, it's fucking loud.
I remember walking and going, you know what?
Nothing bothers me more in that shit.
Nothing bothers me more on that shit.
And you guys know, I love cracking jokes.
And nobody is sacred.
The French, African Americans, Chinese, you know, I was thinking about when Mike came in today,
I go, you know what?
It's getting cold out there.
The temperature dropped to like 62 to open up.
You know, it just dropped a couple, you know, last week, the last three weeks it's been
opening up at 70.
All of a sudden today it went down to 60 fucking two.
Is it cold out?
No.
You could feel the chill in the air.
I said to Mike, just, you know, I didn't even think about it, guys.
Fuck, there's nip in the air, you know.
And right away, you're like, wow, I can't even fucking say that no more.
I didn't mean it in a bad way.
There's nip in the air.
Nip is a, you know, a racial slur if you want to use it like that.
So, no pun intended, I mean, it's getting a little nippy in the air.
That's it.
But even saying something like that, somebody might look at you and go, Joey, you're wrong for
saying that. Okay, you know, I won't say it. If it means not saying it, I won't say it to
make you fucking happy. But there's another side to this coin. So we'll get to that in a second
here. But I've never liked that. That you could go to somebody after 12 years. I think
there would be a better way to handle this. I think Charles Gruden. I think Gruden,
I think I would have made him do an apology. I think I would have had him, uh,
Take classes for awareness or something.
Two classes.
Talk to somebody.
I don't know if you guys remember.
About 10 years ago,
Ralphie May went off on some Indians.
I don't know if you guys remember that.
You know,
Ralphie always went off on everybody.
The Russians, the Indians.
He went off on American Indians.
If you knew anything about Ralphie,
he was a sweetheart.
And I got to be honest with you,
it was a fucking joke.
It was a joke.
You know, some chief of a tribe
took it seriously.
they canceled this gig.
Did they cancel him?
No.
You know what the chief wanted to do?
Educate him.
So they set up a meeting with Ralphie.
They spoke to him.
They explained to him where they were coming from.
And everybody moved on.
He made a little contribution.
And everybody moved on.
Nobody got their fucking feelings hurt.
You know, when you do something like this,
I'd rather you get
whoever the group is
and explain to us
how these things are hurt for.
I don't know if you guys know about this,
but I'm telling you,
I hope he doesn't get mad at me.
Years ago, Tom Segura said something
on one of his specials.
You know, they didn't pull a special down.
What they did was
they set up a meeting
between the president of the Special Olympics
and Tom
to educate him on
how the word retard affects people when you say it.
Now, what you do with that is your choice.
You know, when you go home, you go, you know what,
I choose not to say retard anymore
or I'm going to keep saying fucking retard.
That's it.
That's it.
Educate me on why it's wrong and we can move forward.
And then it's my decision, whether to say it again
or not to say it again.
you know
whatever this type of shit happens
it makes my neck hair stand up
it really fucking does
because I've had a pass
but I know where I am today
and you know what
don't say that oh well Joey that's you
no I know a lot of people
who've changed
like I've seen it now
I've been gone for 30 fucking years
I've been gone since 1990 fucking 3
I come back here
and I see friends of mine
and I ask about them
or whatever, and they've changed.
They've turned their lives around.
Whatever they used to do, they don't do no more.
You have to evolve as a human being.
That is very important.
I try to evolve as much as I fucking can't.
You know, sometimes I can't, but you try.
You try to fucking change.
You look at yourself and go, I can be this much better today.
You know, for me, it was the drugs.
I had to get off the fucking cocaine and everything,
and I knew it made me a better,
person and then after I got cleaned and my mind got right because when you're on drugs your mind
is not fucking right so after I got off the drugs I thought about all the things I had done over
the years and I fucking you know changed them around to the best of my ability that's all you could do
and you have to be very honest with yourself to do something like that to actually sit down and go
dog, I've been fucking up with this shit lately.
I have to reinvent myself.
You know, I have to fucking reinvent myself.
That's what it's all about.
So for the Charles Gruden thing, that, Charles Gruden,
Gruden, whatever his name is, John Gruden,
or whatever the fuck his name is, you know,
they took his fucking, so, because he said something 13 years ago,
or nine years ago, whatever the fuck, 2012, I think it was.
We're going to take him down off the ring.
We're going to take him off a fucking sports game.
We're going to just fucking chastise him.
Who the fuck are we to do that as Americans?
That's what this is.
This is America to land the fucking opportunity.
And now we're taking food out of people's mouths.
Yeah, Gruden will be back in a year, a year and a half on some sports network as an analyst.
But that's a year and a half that he has to stay in this house with the fucking shades drawn.
because somebody wasn't happy with what he said 12 fucking years ago.
I don't agree with that, guys.
And my heart goes out to the African-American community.
And my heart goes out to the gay community for whatever he said.
But at the same time, it was a joke.
Have we forgotten what a fucking joke is?
Have we forgot?
I mean, have we just forgotten that somebody's saying a joke?
Now, the other thing that happened that was fucking,
bad was the Dave Chappelle thing.
Now, you guys know where I stand with this.
And as far as all that shit goes,
you've got the wrong motherfucker.
You really do have the wrong motherfucker.
I can't tell you in so many ways how you got the wrong motherfucker.
Now, before we get this fucking curtain of this started,
I'm a stand-up.
I read the book Lenny Bruce, ladies and gentlemen,
Lenny Bruce, and that's what led me to that career.
I had been into Richard Pry over the years.
And yes, I was a fan of stand-up.
You know, I was a fan of the white dude, the crazy.
I was a fan of them, whatever.
You know, I read a book, and I decided to get into stand-up comedy.
When I started stand-up comedy, I was giving advice.
You're giving a lot of advice.
And people tell you not to do this, not to say this, to be clean.
You know, Sinbad spoke to me when I started, all these guys, Joey, you're telling you.
You don't have to be dirty.
No, you have to be whatever your heart calls for.
So let's get this straight.
When I first got on that stage, I went out there to be the best entertainer I could be.
I did not want to use curse words and stuff.
I went out there with a suit on.
I combed my hair.
I did as much as I could to be a regular entertainer.
At that time, it was Lenny Clark.
I saw Lenny Clark with a suit on do the Rodney Special.
I lost my motherfucking mind.
I knew I had to be part of that.
So, okay, I tried stand-up comedy for like nine months in the beginning,
and I bombed being clean, and I went to my go-to.
I went to me being dirty.
And all my life, since I heard Richard Pryor, I was dirty.
I loved speaking that shit.
I loved it.
I-b-b-b-b-b-ba-ba-ba-ba.
I got into stand-up comedy.
Now, before I got into stand-up comedy, I read a lot about it.
I read as much as I could.
Biographies, I watch videos, I ask questions.
Now, the anatomy of a stand-up is how your world, your world, collides with the rest of the fucking world.
How your world collides with the rest of the world.
That's the smallest equation for comedy.
If you come to me and you pay me and you go, Joey, I need for you to coach me.
Tell me what's the meaning of comedy.
It's how my world collides with the rest of the world.
Okay.
I'll give you an example.
I have a child.
Okay.
When I was a kid, I fucking suffered a lot with my allergies.
I was allergic to dogs and I was allergic to maple fucking syrup.
Okay?
In my house, you know, I had dogs.
My mother had a dog at the dry cleaner when I was a kid.
The people next door to me had fucking dogs.
It felt like I was.
surrounded by dogs all the time.
I got bit by dogs fucking eight or nine times.
I got bit in the face.
I got bit in the leg.
I got bit in the hand.
It doesn't fucking matter here.
I liked dogs.
I would pet a dog and my eyes would swell
and my nose would leak
and my throat would shut
and I would end up in the fucking hospital.
Fucking maple syrup.
You know, how can you tell a fucking kid
he's allergic to fucking maple syrup?
When I came from Cuba,
My mother used to make, you know, rice with eggs on top,
fucking steak with eggs on top,
pure fucking disgusting shit.
It's good, but it's fucking disgusting.
You know, the steak with the egg on top,
where I walk, Ohio, with the white rice,
and you break the fucking yolk over the steak,
and it drips onto the meat, and the rice,
ugh, I don't know.
It just doesn't work for me, guys.
So, all of a sudden I went to, like, school or something,
or somebody turned me onto a fucking pancake.
I put the fucking syrup on it like in the first grade
And next thing you know I'm dizzy I'm passed out
And I'm in a fucking ambulance
Going to some hospital and my mother's meet me up there's a true fucking story guys
And then they told us we were allergic to maple syrup the sweetness
And then something happened with honey when I was a kid
And I got fucking taken to the hospital again
I was a mess when I was a kid
I was allergic to all that shit
Okay it was fucking horrible
You know what it is to fucking
And I still remember being in my first summer camp, like, you know, where you go and do pushups and jump off a diving board and all that shit.
I still remember going and them giving us pancakes for breakfast.
And me like, you know, what do you think there was an alternative fucking menu in those days?
What do you think?
Like, you could call ahead and say, I want a vegan menu.
Fuck you.
There's hot dogs and fucking, it was hot dogs for lunch and pancakes for breakfast.
That's it.
There was no scrambled eggs.
There was no.
no toast, there was fucking nothing.
So I had to go there in the mornings,
and I'd eat the fucking, you know,
I love syrup.
I love the fucking taste of maple syrup.
Who the fuck doesn't?
But between two minutes,
my eyes would get red,
I'd start blinking,
my throat would shut.
It was a fucking nightmare.
So we decided.
My mom and I sat down one day,
like when I was six and we decided,
Joey, listen.
My mother was old school Cuban.
She told me to fucking just go
and play with the fucking dogs.
but after I play with the dogs, I keep washing my hands.
Wash your hands, wash your hands.
And after you wash your hands well, wash your face.
So it doesn't.
And you know what, guys?
It worked.
It worked.
I was telling my neighbors, they have a dog named Molly, a short-haired pit.
And I go, these are the dogs that would, this little hair would get into my fucking nose,
and I'd go off the boundary.
You know, they couldn't even believe it.
They're like, and you're allergic to dogs.
The other day I went over there.
I was sitting on their porch.
She was sitting on my legs and I'm fucking petna.
She's a great dog.
I'm petting her.
And Frank looks at him and he goes, you're really allergic to dogs.
I go, listen, we worked on it.
We just, we played with so many dogs that we broke the allergy.
Today, today, 2021, I eat pancakes three times a year.
Not fucking two stacks, not three stacks.
One with a little bit of syrup, a little bit of bar.
butter, I eat it, and nothing happens.
That's the most I can handle.
It's three, maybe four times.
There's a little breakfast place called fucking stacks close to my house.
Holy shit, they make Nutella pancakes.
They make fucking banana pancakes with little bananas on top and it tastes like banana
cream pie.
I mean, I'm not into that sweet shit, but I've tasted them.
Fucking delicious.
My point be, that I always.
Overcame that fucking my allergies.
My mom forced me to overcome these allergies.
Circle back to 2010.
2011, 2012.
Who the fuck knows?
I don't fucking know.
You know, no, 2013.
I put my daughter in school.
My daughter's born and a year later,
you know, three months later, we're in daycare, whatever,
whatever the fuck it was.
We tried to get her social skills.
So it had to be like 2015.
I find out one day that I can't bring peanut butter.
She can't pack peanut butter to the fucking school.
I nearly lost my mind.
My mind almost fucking blew the fuck up.
Because I'm like, what are you talking about?
And they're like, yeah, because if other kids are allergic to penis,
so what that have to do with my fucking kid?
If my kid's not allergic to peanuts, what's it have to do with that?
So I fucking never thought about it again.
Then one day I was taking a flight from like L.A.
to San Diego and fucking, there were no peanuts.
I'm stoned to the gills.
I'm looking forward to these fucking peanuts.
And that's the day Southwest don't put out the fucking peanuts.
Now, am I a peanut dude?
You know, I like peanuts.
I like peanuts in a Snickers bar.
I like a couple things with peanuts.
But I get on the fucking plane that day,
and I'm looking forward to these peanuts and these goddamn pretzels.
For some reason, I'm looking forward to the fucking peanuts.
And boom, there's no peanuts.
I asked the lady, I go, what's going on with the peanuts here?
I'm sitting here like fucking patience on a monument.
She says to me there's no peanuts today.
We have one passenger that's allergic to peanuts.
I was blowing the fuck away, guys.
I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?
So because one motherfucker's allergic to peanuts, I can't eat my fucking peanuts.
What the fuck is the world coming to?
So right away I went home, what stand-up comedy?
How your world collides with the rest of the fucking world.
So right away I went home and I had to write a fucking bit on this.
I went online.
I read about this fucking peanut allergy
And I was blown the fuck away
And I read a bit
I wrote a bit on a fucking simple thing
Of peanut allergy
And how the kid give him a fucking peanut
He ain't gonna die
He's gonna go to the hospital
You know, he'll probably swell up
Blah blah blah blah
Let me tell you something
I have said some disgusting things on stage
I have mugged hookers on stage
I have fucking
Crawled in windows and eating pussy's
I've said some disgusting things on stage
Never have I gotten off stage
And somebody said to me, hey, man, we didn't like that joke.
It was inappropriate.
I talked about a chick pissing on me 20 years.
I talked about tons of shit.
Nobody ever pulled me aside and said, Joey, this is inappropriate.
Do you know how many times I got pulled aside for that fucking peanut joke?
Every fucking show, when I would take pictures of people, some sort of parents would come up to me and go, hey, man, you were funny, we really enjoy you.
We like the podcast.
We like what you're doing.
We like what you stand for.
but the peanut joke was offensive as fuck.
We have a child that has a peanut allergy and he could die.
I don't know if you understand the whatever's of this.
And I would get turned off and in my mind tell him to go fuck themselves.
Like just give him that look, like take a fucking hike with your little fucking faggy peanut kid.
You know, what's it got to do with me?
You're going to come beat me up on a fucking Saturday night or a fucking joke.
So, but eventually, you know, I kept taking my daughter to school.
I kept hearing from fucking people, whatever.
It was just a joke.
I get it.
But that stupid fucking joke right there caused me so much fucking heartache.
How many people would come at me after the fucking show?
I would get emails about it.
I would get Facebook messages about it.
You know what?
It was a simple fucking joke.
You know, I stopped saying that I shot a special.
I put on a CD, whatever.
Who the fuck knows what happened?
But the bottom line is, it was just a fucking joke, you know?
and I really learned from that joke on how people could get hurt.
Now, with the same fucking thing for me discovering all these things,
listen, when you don't have a kid,
you don't know anything about these things.
And I'm sure, you know, you guys are young listening.
You're like, Joey, I know about peanut allergies.
I know because you had it.
But when I was growing up, there was no fucking peanut allergies.
No kids had a fucking penit allergy.
So trust me, this is something that's,
taking me by fucking storm.
The same thing, again, a
bad subject to bring up,
but we're going to bring it up. Who gives a fuck?
Transsexuals, transvestites,
whatever the fuck.
Listen, they don't bother me at all.
I could care less.
I've had three dear friends in my life
that have been transgendered or had the operation
and we had fun, we laughed about it.
It was phenomenal.
I had one up, you know, Rita O.
Me and Josh Wolf have spoken
about it repeatedly. She used to carry her old dick in a jar. This chick had the sexual.
Yeah, yeah, it was, guys, you have no idea how we had tons of conversations. Now, years ago,
it started with, I found out at Kofax Elementary in L.A. where we started talking about
switching governments, where we started talking about, you know, gender reveal parties and all this
stuff. Listen, I'm from the 70.
You know, I can't wrap my head around this stuff
about a little boy one day waking up
and coming to me and saying,
I think I'm a girl.
This is tough, guys.
This is tough to wrap your arms around, you know,
especially as a parent.
Do I think that one day my daughter's going to come to me and go,
you know what, Dad, cut the pussy out,
I'm slinging dick like you.
I want to be a fucking boy.
I would be in.
shocked. I wouldn't really know how to handle it. I would have to do a lot of reading on it. I would have to do a lot. But I've never heard of this before. I have never heard. This is something that, you know, I'm 58 fucking years old and I started hearing about this when I was 50 and now they're going to put it into the school systems and whatnot. And as a parent, you're sitting there going, do I want my child exposed to this? Anyway, to make a long fucking story short. This week, the Dave Chappelle out, the special came out closer.
You know, I didn't even know he had shot another special.
I didn't know it was his last special on Netflix.
I knew nothing about it.
Before we get into this conversation, do me a favor.
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Listen, I love, uh, I love, uh, what do you call that shit?
Better help.
So if you're having a little problem, if you got a little hang on the nail on the fence,
hang on the fence or whatever, I suggest you go to betterhelp.com.
But anyway, back to what we were fucking talking about here.
This week, the Dave Chappelle special got released.
I didn't know he had another special.
You know, like I said, guys, I've been, my head's been somewhere else.
I turned on a computer one morning, and all I'm reading is about Dave Chappelle, how he insulted people.
The second day, I fucking open up the computer, and it's all over the place.
Dave Chappelle's getting canceled, blah, blah, blah, blah.
He got a standing ovation at the Hollywood Bowl.
So I said, fuck it.
I'm a stand up.
I'm a human being.
Let me watch this special to see what I think about and see what all the fuss is about.
Okay, here you go.
It was a very good special.
They did a very good job.
I like the stories.
I like how he presented the material.
He told some LGBT stories on there about a friend of his that died and the baby and all this stuff.
Guys, listen, this is where I'm coming from with this.
I know some people are not going to sit right with this,
and I know some people are going to agree with me.
We're going to attack this from two perspectives, okay?
Number one perspective, Dave is a comic.
What's his job to be funny?
What's his job?
Well, some comics jobs, some, not mine.
Some are to kill society.
not kill society, but explain to you in a funny way, the wrongs of society.
What's going on in the world today with a funny twist to it?
What's happening?
And again, the main thing a comic's supposed to be doing up there is explain to you how his world collides with the world you live in.
So if you take all that into consideration, Dave hit it out of the park.
He did a phenomenal job.
Okay.
That's what a stand-up comic is supposed to do.
There's a downside to this.
Dave is at the top of the world right now.
Okay, when you're in the top of the world, you're a lightning rod.
It's like being a mafia boss.
Everybody's coming to you.
That's why for the last 20 years, you have a boss and a street boss.
Because the street boss is getting hidden by the boss of the family.
The feds, everybody's concerned with the boss of the family.
In this case, it's society.
Everybody's concerned with what the top comic has to say.
He is the top comic in the country by a fucking mile, okay?
Nobody could even touch him.
He's saying what affects him, which is the LGBTQ stuff, whatever.
But Dave is also being cute right now.
So, Dave, Dave's comedy aptitude is off the fucking chain.
My comedy aptitude is not that great.
That was why I was never a great comic.
I was a funny comic.
I knew what I was doing.
I could bang it out with anybody.
But my comedy aptitude, as far as being well read as Dave or Joe Rogan, for that matter, or Bill Burr,
I'm more of a life comic.
Like, I like talking about what's in my life.
What affects me?
You know, there's people that will take a subject out of the newspaper and write a brilliant bit about it, but it doesn't affect them.
I speak about things about my life.
I'm more of a storytelling.
And that's just me.
I don't want to get into that right now.
What I'm getting into, Dave Chappelle is cute.
He's very smart.
His comedy aptitude is smart.
And listen, man, when you do a special, you're looking for them to talk about that special.
and how do you get people to talk about a special
to talk about stuff that's on the other side
that nobody else will touch.
Now, he's been doing it on a couple specials.
You know, he's been hitting them with the fucking LGBTQ jokes,
which means obviously it's a big hang in his motherfucking fence.
Like, if I ever was to do stand-up comedy,
I would talk about what's going on now with the schools,
what they want to teach.
You know, what affects me,
directly. What's going to fucking affect me? Yeah, I'll tell you some stories, shit that's
gone on in the last year, shit that's been funny to me, whatever, blah, blah, blah, but no,
this whole thing, stand up is we're a conduit. And in that conduit, if it goes, if this is
the conduit, when it comes in here, it's rough, when it comes out, it's like a trumpet. We're
just blowing it out in a different way with a little bit of fucking humor. That's all we're doing.
Now, Netflix got a lot of complaints.
Netflix, you know, they're demanding that they take the special down.
Number one, my heart goes out to the LGBT community.
I understand.
But we're going around about this all wrong, okay?
Not we.
I'm not part of the LGBT community.
I'm just saying that they're going about this all wrong.
There was a way to go around this.
You know, the employees, listen, the world has changed.
You know, employees getting successful.
Spended, employees getting whatever.
I don't agree with that.
That was just wrong on both parties.
That was wrong on both parties.
But we're talking about money here.
You're not going to get in front of money with your feelings.
Nobody in today's world right now with the greed that's going on.
There was supposed to be a strike today.
There was supposed to be a strike over the weekend.
The international theaters, electricians, caterers, grips, all this shit.
It was scary.
That would be a fucking scary strike
Because all the networks
Wouldn't have been able to work
Except HBO
Cinemax Showtime
I forget what the list was
That would have been fucking scary
For us right now
You know
Especially after the 18 month lockdown
You know the rent whatever
It would have been fucking scary for people
Mandates now with this shit
So
They settled it
I just when I woke up Sunday morning
I saw that they
They settled it the last fucking minute
I don't even know how this transpired into this,
but what I was trying to say is, you know, we work things out.
We have to work things out.
Number one, I'm tipping my hat,
and I know I'm going to anger a lot of people.
When I say this, I'm tipping my hat to the president of fucking Netflix.
I'm tipping my hat.
That's what you're supposed to do.
You're supposed to stand by your product.
You're supposed to stand by your decision.
I'm sure Dave said some stuff about murdering the transvestone.
or beating up the transgender or the lesbian.
Listen, what about when I said I did coke with my cat?
Did you really fucking go home and think that I did coke with my cat?
Sometimes an over-exaggeration is what makes the joke funny.
Do you understand me?
The over-exaggeration of it makes the joke funny.
I never did a line of cooking.
I never did coke with that fucking cat.
I had a 10 minute bit
I wrote an imaginary story
an imaginary of me doing cocaine with my cat
people would laugh
people love the fucking bit
nobody ever complained to me
it was a bullshit joke
that's part comedy has so many different aspects
to it you make fun of it you exaggerate it
you fucking you know so
that's what this is all about
now
I'm sure Dave being Dave
And the mind of the comic
Listen, the mind of the comic
I'm going to tell you what happens with a comic
For you to be a successful comic
And I have a lot of comics on my Patreon now
Ty, Sal, a lot of young comics
I'm going to tell you something
And this goes for musicians also
Okay
Any great musician
Anybody who broke through
Anybody who broke through on a comedy level
anybody breaks through on the arts
they broke through because they went against the mold
they went against the status quo
they went against what they were told
you're not going to make moves by going up there
and giving them what the fuck they want
years ago I heard a great story
and I patterned my side and I'm happy
I'm happy I heard this story when I was into comedy
two years or three years in Denver
Kevin Fitzgerald, dear friend of mine,
I've gone back to this story 10 times this week talking to people,
was doing a spot at the Comedy Works.
He was opening up, not opening up.
If you know anything about the Comedy Works,
it's a couple different comics,
and then the headliner goes up.
That's why it's a hard club to work,
because you have to follow eight headliners.
That's why a lot of people are like,
fuck, I'm not working the Comedy Works.
You have to follow.
She takes the comics at a home,
The headliners that are home from Tuesday to Thursday and puts them up there.
And you have to follow him.
So, anyway, he was one of the many comics.
He just happened to be going up before Bill Hicks.
He brought up Bill Hicks for the first show.
Great show.
Nobody complained.
There was a second show.
Bill Hicks' road manager went up to him and said, listen, Kevin,
uh, Mr. Hicks does a similar marijuana joke.
This is your brain on drugs.
This is your brain on marijuana, whatever.
He goes, you know, it would be great if you didn't do that joke.
Kevin Fitzgerald looked him in the eye and said, I won't do it.
And went on stage and did it.
When he got off stage, the guy tried to muscle him.
And when Bill Hicks got off stage, he hired him as an opener.
And Kevin Fitzgerald ended up going up on the road with Bill Hicks.
What a fucking honor that is.
I wouldn't shut up about it.
If I got to open up for Bill Hicks and got to be schooled by Bill Hicks,
I just walk around my dick out.
Like fucking, like my man Brad Pitt after Legends of the Fall.
Forget about it.
Just take your dick out.
Who gives a fuck?
But if Bill Hicks hired you after he told you not to do something, what does that mean?
That is what makes a comic tick.
If you tell me before I go on stage, not to say that joke, I'm going to say it.
How many people watch Fresh Out of Compton?
You watch Fresh Out of Compton?
When they went to Detroit, what the motherfucking guy tell them,
don't do any police, don't do fuck the police.
What did they do?
They went up there and did fuck the police.
That's what we do.
That's what makes us different.
That's what makes you cut through.
That's what, when people hear things like that, they go, okay, that's my fucking guy.
He didn't fucking adhere to what they told him.
He didn't give a fuck.
You know, and I don't know if you guys remember this.
Why did Dave Chappelle walk away from the $50 million deal from Comedy Central?
Did you ever think of that?
Because when you're in the TV business, first off, Dave Chappelle's been doing this since he was fucking 13 years old in the city.
Okay?
So it's like me.
I've been doing this since I was fucking 25.
If tomorrow CBS called me and said, we want you to do a show of a show of.
about bookies.
Okay.
And you're playing one of the bookies.
And after two weeks, no, after the first season, the show is a success.
What's the success?
It's done great numbers.
People like it.
It's an 8 o'clock show.
Whatever.
What if they come to me after three years and say, and they go, oh, we got new show runners.
We got new people working at the network.
And what if you, let's say you're 35 years old.
I'm just asking you a general question to think about this on a Monday fucking morning.
What if you were, if somebody came to you and you had a successful hit and some kid from CBS came to you that just graduated Syracuse with no television experience, just what they taught him in college, maybe a year.
And he got promoted to be the liaison between CBS and you.
And he's coming to you saying to you, yeah.
this is what needs to be done on this show
you need to do this you need to do this
eventually one day you're going to go time out
no disrespect to you
you just graduated college
you don't even know what the fuck we're doing here
I've been on a fucking street corner
popping jokes on in clubs since I was 13 years old
I've gotten through fucking 18 ABC deals
Dave Chappelle paid his fucking dues
okay they tried to put him on TV like 20 fucking
times with their ideas and they couldn't get them on TV with their ideas.
So finally Dave Chappelle and Neil Brennan created the fucking Dave Chappelle show and what happened
with his own brain because they wanted to do what they wanted to do with Dave.
Dave was on TV for years.
I don't know if you guys know that.
Dave was on a TV show with that fucking dude.
I forget what his name is now.
They were trying to do things with Dave.
I started in comedy in 91.
When I came to New York in 93, Dave was the golden fucking goose already.
I still remember going to the Boston Comedy Club
and seeing him, Felicia, Nick Taturo, Jay Moore,
and going, wow.
He was in that movie Robin Hood, Men in Tights,
fucking great movie.
You're not going to, he fucking walked away from $50 million
because you're not going to tell me how to do my fucking job.
And guess what, guys, I feel the exact same way.
Nobody's ever going to tell me,
and I've had a thousand arguments over this.
One of the reasons why I've taken a breather from comedy like that I did, because I'm coming back.
But I'm doing it my way.
Not the way the agents wanted to.
Not the way the promoters wanted to.
Not the way the fucking comedy club.
Because they don't fucking know.
We're the ones that are busting our fucking ass.
So yes, I'm very fucking happy they didn't take that fucking special down.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
And I go back to Andy.
I go back to 1990, 91, 92, 93 with Andrew Dice Clay.
And the shit he went through.
Let me tell you something.
Do you think people went to fucking HBO and told him to take down the Hickie Dickory Dock fucking special?
Do you think they went to like HBO and told him to take down the fucking live from Long Island with Joey Botafoco and the fucking.
No.
No.
Because people weren't fucking concerned.
We're getting too woke.
We're getting a little bit too woke.
Again, my apologies to the LGBTQ community,
but you should have handled this a little differently.
Get the people that run glad or I don't know what the name of the organization.
Schedule a meeting with Netflix.
Don't go in there demanding to take the special off.
Just explain to them what you've been trying to do online,
explaining that.
tell Dave what you think his actions were and how they affected the LGBT Q community.
Sit them down. Explain that to Netflix.
Like the whatever, the thing that organization explained it to Tom Segura.
Don't go online and call them out and all this shit.
Schedule a meeting with Netflix.
Sit them down.
explain your beefs, your beefs to them.
What is going on how this does affect our community?
I think, for me, I think he's giving you light.
Like they say, no publicity is bad publicity.
You know, I think that if you're on the road to a gender change, this is not going
to fucking, you know.
So I get it.
I get that in your world, the remarks were a little violent.
and whatnot and people
going to start beat.
No, they're not.
No, they're not.
Listen, I'm a wild man.
And like I said, I've had experience
with transgender people,
people who have gone the operation,
and I treat them the same.
Do I make jokes?
Yeah.
You have to make jokes.
So on the other side of this coin,
I hate saying this,
LGBTQ, you got to toughen up a little bit.
You got to fucking toughen up a little bit.
It's 2021.
You're pioneers.
What do you think happens to pioneers?
They get hit in their head with fucking rocks until they prove their point,
until they sell their belief, until they tell you why they're doing what they're doing.
You've got to toughen up a little bit.
What do you think the gay guys in the 60s and 70s were fucking demanding for you to take shit down?
These were the fucking young gay guys that were getting beat up in the 6th.
Think about being gay in the 50s, 60s, and 70s.
and you're offended over a fucking comedian's fucking words on a special.
You need to toughen up too.
You need to toughen up too.
I know you made the commitment to change and to be stronger and whatever.
Well, let's do it.
You need to toughen up the fuck too.
If you're going to, listen, how do you think you're perceived right now?
How do you think you're perceived when you walk into a job and you're in the transition and, you know, you're taking, you know, how are you perceived?
Did you ever think about that?
So yes, this is an education for everybody.
But the LGBT community needs to educate people
and explain to us what's going on, why it's hurtful.
Don't just take the special down.
No.
No.
No.
We're not fucking the NFL.
No.
We're not fucking Al Davis that we're just going to sell somebody up to the fucking sharks.
No.
Let's do this.
Let's try this.
let's speak to some of the African-American people
that he's come in contact with Gruden
before we let them go.
See if they're fucking angry about it.
They've been getting coached by him since 2012
without any knowledge of these fucking emails.
Does it make a difference?
Does it fucking make a difference?
So we have to toughen up a little bit in this fucking country.
We have a lot of issues right now going on
that we have to fucking worry about.
Mental health.
They just told cops in New York.
if you see somebody shooting heroin on the street, it's fine.
Don't fucking fuck with them.
They're trying to vaccinate your fucking kid.
They're trying to make mandates for you to get on planes.
They're trying to take away your fucking liberties.
And you're worried about an African-American comedian making jokes.
That's what you're fucking worried about right now,
LGBT community.
They are going for our fucking heads.
They are going for our fucking heads.
So I understand you being woke.
get it, I understand. We all
have to do a little bit awakening or as much
as we could do. I've even
woken up a little bit. Listen,
that doesn't mean I'm not going to crack fucking
jokes, okay? I'm going to crack fucking jokes.
But now, I also have a
knowledge of who I'm hurting with these jokes.
That's the most important thing.
But listen, if a joke hurts you,
take a fucking, you know,
what the fuck is wrong with you?
What the fuck is wrong with us? Have we gotten
this fucking soft in our
fucking daily lives that everything
fucking affects us. People are dying right now from stupid shit. People are fucking losing their
job. School teachers, cops. You know, it's a whole new fucking world out there. But you want to
create another fucking problem because a comedian said some fucking stupid shit about you. I don't,
I don't understand society anymore. And I'm trying to be woke. I have a little girl. I have a
family. I have friends that have
sons and daughters that are
trying to, you know, change
genders. His, he,
they. It's too fucking much.
It's too fucking much
altogether. You know,
you got us on this fucking path
of, you know, that we can't do nothing
wrong, and if we did something 20 years ago,
we should be punished tomorrow.
No. And you guys do anything
about me? I didn't allow it fucking 18 months
ago, and I'm not going to fucking allow
it. I'm not going to allow it. I'm not going to
determine. One thing I did come up with a conclusion when I watched that special, I'm going to be
honest with you guys. I'm going to be as honest as what I can with you because I've always been
honest with you guys. One of the reasons I have stayed clear as stand-up is because I have a lot of
things going on in my life. And I don't need somebody to make a tape of me and say I was saying
wrong shit and they shut me down over stupid stuff over I was on a roll on stage I'm on a
fucking role I'm just going and all of a sudden I dropped something a tranny joke a gay joke
a fucking an african-american joke a Chinese joke and my life is going to be over because of
today's society and the fucking wokenness that's not gonna that's not gonna work but I've been
thinking about it never since I watched a Chappelle special
I go, no, this cannot, this cannot go on.
Chappelle Special woke me up.
Chappelle Special woke me up a lot.
And the Gruden thing woke me up a lot.
I had been in the fucking little bear cave for the last fucking year.
That really woke me up.
And guess what?
Now it's giving me a fucking, now I want to do stand-up.
Now I want to do some guess that.
I called Dino last week and I go, Dino,
Dino offered me a couple dates.
And I go, Dino, listen.
Again, I can't cover an hour, and I'm not going to do that to anybody.
I'm not going to charge you 20 bucks and go, listen, if I have 15 minutes, I wouldn't mind because I got somewhere to go and we could improvise.
But now, because of what I've seen Chappelle do, I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do.
I'm going to go back out there, just in Jersey for now, for the first six months, just to get my, listen, guys, it takes a long time to come up with an hour of material, no matter how much you fucking,
right you got to go out there and test it and test it and re-fucking test it so it takes time i am the
type of guy that i refuse to put myself out there in a theater if i'm not at least 30 minutes
and of great fucking material but because of the chapel thing he inspired me i was looking
for something to inspire me and i found it i found it you're not going to ever you know
David Wayne's gave the best fucking response to it.
He said they made comedian slaves.
They wanted to make us fucking slaves to there,
and I'm not doing it.
And I'm happy he said those words,
and I'm happy Dave did what he did,
and I'm happy I'm going to do what I'm going to fucking do.
I'm going to go up there,
little by little, take my time,
but I'm not going to miss my words
because I'm going to hurt somebody's feelings.
That's not what a stand-up is supposed to do.
The stand-ups that aren't success,
That's why they're not successful because they pander to the audience and they don't want a fucking
They don't want a tippy toe around anybody's fucking feelings
I don't give a fuck I really don't
You know what when I go out and I get offended by something I get offended by
Two or three things, but guess what you'll never hear me talk about them because what difference does it make
What do you want me to do send them an email that they offended me with a joke or a commercial?
You offend me when you put tampon commercials on?
What kind of fucking have?
Half a fag would I fucking be if I did that.
So no, I just avoid those situations.
So like if something gives you anxiety,
that's one thing I've learned from BetterHelp.
If something gives you anxiety, avoid it.
It's called the fucking trigger.
Right or wrong?
So if you think you're going to get fucking sad about Dave Chappelle special,
don't watch it.
Don't watch it.
What?
10 million fucking people have watched it and they've enjoyed it?
I mean, you know,
So my heart goes out to the LGBTQ community.
I hope you didn't take any of my comments in the wrong way.
I'm just trying to explain to everybody how we could avoid all this
and what you should worry about and what you should not worry about.
I spoke about before how I'm not the most well-read guy.
I'm a street guy.
I'm a street guy.
I'm a high school fucking dropout.
For me to talk about the social issues of the world means I have to sit down
and read for 10 fucking years.
But that time I'll be dead and fucking buried anyway.
So I don't have time for that.
I talk about life.
I talk about how to make your life better.
I talk about, you know, our freedoms, how to fuck, you know, who gives a fuck what they think?
It's what you think.
That's fucking important.
If you don't like what they think, just turn them to fuck off.
That's it.
It's that fucking simple.
That's the school I've been from all my fucking life.
I worry about what's in front of me.
I'm like a, I'm not a political guy, but I'm like a democratic mind guy.
I don't really think about what's going on out there.
It's got nothing to do with me.
It's got nothing to do with me.
It's what's in front of me.
I've never had it as good as people that they could think about, you know, the pygmies in fucking Indonesia.
You know, I love to think about pygmies and I love to save the fucking children and all this shit.
But who has the fucking time?
We have time to talk about what we know, what's in our realm and what's in our world.
For me, it's movies, refra.
I've never realized how worthless I am.
since I moved here.
Like I was, ever since I stopped doing common, I'm like, I need a job.
What can I do?
Nothing.
Nothing.
This is all I could do is crack stupid fucking jokes and talk and fucking do a podcast
and maybe shoot a couple of videos from time to time.
That's all I could do.
And I'm very happy for that.
That's why I was fucking kidding myself if I thought I was going to do anything else.
I'm happy.
I watch that Dave Chappelle special.
And I'm happy it gave me some fucking initiative to at least go on.
stage from time to time.
I love you motherfuckers at all my heart, man.
I'm a lot better.
I'm feeling a lot better.
I'm a lot happier.
Like I said, it's getting, we're getting, we're moving, Jack.
I mean, Mike was saying it was 91 fucking degrees
come Friday.
And now it's 60 fucking two.
Life is moving.
It was October 1st, everyone was happy, the many saints were out.
And now it's October fucking 17th, 18th, whatever the fuck.
it is.
Time is moving, brother.
And if you don't get on this fucking boat,
you're going to be left out there.
I love you motherfuckers with all my heart.
Laughing gas is back.
And what did you think of the new batch?
Dude, it's tremendous.
It's tremendous.
I like that new batch.
I like that new batch.
I try to mix it up a lot,
but it's so weird how I got so far.
I'm loving this, guys.
Listen, the reason I got high in the morning
was because of how high I got.
in the morning.
As a pot
officianto, right?
The reason why you get high
in the morning
is to have it hit you
like a left hook
so you don't have to
fucking think about
what you're about to do
or whatever.
Let me tell you something.
I don't even want to smoke pot
in the daytime no more.
I don't want to smoke pot
in the daytime no more
because there's a two-hour window
at night when I smoke.
I get so high
and I have such a fucking good time.
I can't even tell you
how much of a great time I have
when I get high at night.
I do so many fucking things
in that two-hour window
and when I go upstairs
and my head hits the pillow,
Zoom.
I finally got over
to not eating shit at night
because that was killing me.
I put on a few pounds
but I took them right to back
fuck off
because I started eating apples
and bananas at night
but fuck
for a few weeks there
I was going deep
the tapering's going great
and maybe have another fucking month of it
and I'm
done and I feel great guys.
I really fucking do. Thank you
for all the support and all the well wishes
and for support
and we've had some great podcast the last
couple weeks. It is what it is
and I'm happy you're enjoying
them. Have a great week. Have a great
fucking Monday. I'll see
you motherfuckers Wednesday.
Tip top, McGoo.
I think we're going to bring some fucking conspiracies
on this show. I love you
motherfuckers. See you Wednesday morning
and now for a word
for my motherfucking sponsors, Jack.
All right, you bad motherfuckers.
I want to thank you.
I had a good time with you guys today.
It's Monday.
It's a great way to start the week.
But before we go anywhere,
I want to talk to you about
Better Help Online Therapy.
Listen, going to therapy
is routine maintenance
for your mental and emotional wellness
to prevent bigger issues down the road.
I didn't know this.
I didn't know this.
I'll tell you what,
I am a lot better,
and you guys are seeing me.
If you don't believe in better help,
or you don't believe in therapy,
put on one of the podcasts from November,
and look at me how I was talking,
and look at me today.
It's two different people.
Dana has really helped me.
If you want to go with Dana,
give her a shot.
But going to therapy doesn't mean there's something wrong with you.
It means you're investing in yourself
to keep your mind healthy for the future.
And that's what I did,
and I hope you do the same.
Better help is customize online therapy
that offers video chat,
phone sessions with your therapist,
so you don't have to see anyone
on camera if you don't want to. You want to talk on the phone? You talk on the phone. You want to see what she looks like. She's right there for you. It's much more affordable than in person therapy and you can start communicating with your therapist in under 48 hours. Why invest in anything else and not your mind? Come on. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and joint listeners can get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash Diaz. Again, that's betterhelp.com slash Diaz.
The joint is also brought to you by
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When it comes to CBD
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Order the kinesiology tape to CBD gummies, anything that they have.
And I'm going to give you 20% off your order when you pressing Joey on the way out.
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The join is also brought to you by Draft Kings.
Listen, NFL football.
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Of course you are.
And it starts tonight with the Titans against the Buffalo Bills at Tennessee,
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And here's the stuff the lawyers make me say.
You've got to be 21 older.
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One more thing.
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Now, if you got a gambling problem, call 1-800 gambler.
If you don't have a problem and your head is in the right place,
it's time to win some motherfucking money.
Head to draftkings.com, press in code Joey, and let's make this fucking happen.
And don't forget to friend me.
I want to thank Draft Kings.
I want to thank Better Help, Online Therapy, and I want to thank CBD Lyons for having my back.
But most importantly, I want to thank you fucking savages for having my motherfucking back.
Thank you.
I love you.
And we'll be back Wednesday morning, Tip Top, Mother fucking Magoo.
Have a great day.
I love you, motherfuckers.
Thank you.
