The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #108 | FAT DRAGON | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: October 20, 2021

Welcome to The JOINT..... It's Wednesday, October 20th..... Today we talked to the Great, FAT DRAGON! This episode is brought to you by DraftKings, Lucy.co & MD Hearing Aid….. Download the DraftKings SportsBook App & Enter Code: JOEY https://www.DraftKings.com/sportsbook to receive $200 in Free Bets when you Bet $5 on any NFL Game…. Go to https://www.MDHearingAid.com & Enter PROMO CODE: JOEY for a Buy One Get One Offer at $299 Each, PLUS a 45 day Risk Free Trial & Free Charging Case! Go to https://www.Lucy.co Use PROMO CODE: JOEY for 20% OFF! Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #FatDragon The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....

What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? It's Wednesday, the 19th of the month, or the 20th, I'm sorry. From the heart of motherfucking New Jersey, the joint is brought to you by Draft Kings. Listen, NBA season is up, NFL is up, college football is up, the baseball playoffs are here. You're hungry for a win this week, and I got one for you. Draft King's sportsbook has you covered. New customers can just bet $5 on any NFL team to win. their game and if they do, you win $200 and free bets. Are you fucking kidding me or what? Basketball

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Download the Draft King's Sportsbook app. Download the Draft King's Fantasy app. Pressing Code Joey and let's win some fucking Guitas here. Okay? Draft King Sportsbook. The best. The joint is also brought to you by MD Hearing Aid. I know a lot of years are fucking young.

You don't need a hearing aid, but you know what? Guys like me need it. I know a lot of young guys that got. I got a niece that wears hearing aids. You ever have trouble hearing me? I can't talk any fucking loud or something. you may need a goddamn hearing aid. For years, I struggled.

I'm not death. I have a problem with my ears where if I'm in a restaurant, I can't hear you talking. All I can hear is a dish is slamming and shit. So I had to try hearing aids. You're thinking, but Joey, I don't want to look like an old man. You won't. They have a sleek design that fits inside your ear, and it's invisible.

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and some gum so you're not fucking smoking. better than Uncle Joey. Let's get this party started. What's happening, you bad motherfuckers? Wednesday, the 19th of fucking October, it's moving right along. Me and Mike were just saying, what the fuck? Ever since July, the fucking summer went right through. Now, I just remember

it being October 1st, and it's the fucking 20th already. So, I hope you're motherfuckers are making things happen. Me, time is moving fast. Look at my hair. I was looking at it last night. I'm pretty much bald from here to here. I just got a little bit of hair that enough that I could, it's like a glove.

It's like a skunk tail. Like I just put this skunk tail over here and it covers. Pretty soon I'm going to be missing this whole patch of my fucking hairdo. It's, uh, it really is fucking crazy. I used to have a big fucking jufro. Now I got nothing. Now I got four hairs keeping it all together. Who gives a fuck?

My hair served me when I needed it. You know what I'm saying? It's tough to get your dicks up when you're bald and 22, especially if you got the grandpa looking hairdo like the size. That's where everybody shaves it because you. just look like a fucking fool if you have the remember like a little bald circle with the hair do over here

fuck all that shit you know what the fuck happened to my boy the stones no more brown sugar when does this bullshit fucking end when does this end brown sugar the song is I don't know 40 50 years old right the stone's been around 50

I don't I don't fucking no I know the aerosmith celebrating their 50th anniversary next year with a big concert up at the fucking Fenway Stadium, you know. Who knows? But the Stone's got to be up there for how many years they've got to be together. And I don't know how old brown sugar is. But brown sugar, really? We can't play brown sugar no more.

This is communism. That, listen, the biggest thing I took out of my meeting, the first time I met my cousins that I really got to talk with them was maybe 10 years ago. I was driving one day and I got a call from, the manager at the improv and she said to me that my cousins went from Cuba visiting and they saw my name and they wanted to stop by

so that night I invited them to the store and I just retweeted that my cousin Emmy Alfonso is singing at the Grammys or grammy.com a music is on there. She sent me a note there on Twitter but the one thing I took the most out of their

meeting that night went to Cantors. Cantors is like a Jewish deli on Fairfax in L.A. fucking, a little. I'm more of a Langa's type guy, but Langers wasn't that, I mean, Cantas wasn't bad. It was great, especially when you went there to in the fucking morning. So I was in there with them,

and they were telling me all these things about Cuba, that when you get on a raft and you come over, they throw eggs at your house, they drive by your house and throw eggs and all this shit. But they were also telling me, we started talking about music. You know, I'm a music guy, and they were saying that, you know,

they had the Led Zeppelin's out. with Stairway to Heaven on it. That was their favorite album, mine too, and they couldn't put it in the house. I guess she was telling me she had the cassette and a couple, what it was cassettes. I don't mean to be fucking wrong here. They took the cassettes and they had to bury him outside, not even on your property. You got to bury him outside of the property. Let's say your property went up to, let's say your property went up to a tree.

you had a buried outside that tree so they could blame it on anybody else. But a fucking Led Zeppelin album? A Led Zeppelin album? Beetle music. And then years later, Fidel was a big fan of John Lennon. So he allowed John Lennon to,

they put the statue up, but they weren't big music. In the fucking 70s, you weren't allowed to listen to nothing American. Now they have, you know, rap music and they have, you know, heavy metal. They have all these groups What's his name?

Rudy Sarzo sent me some videos. The heavy metal bands they had in Cuba? Holy shit. These guys are trash metal, fucking making it happen. But in the 70s, 80s, you weren't allowed to play fucking music in Cuba, especially anything fucking American. So what?

The Stone's got a call from somebody one day and said they had to stop playing brown sugar, and they did it. I don't think Mick Jagger's a fucking sheep. But for him to say, not going to play brown sugar anymore i mean it's just i know keith richard said that he doesn't see what the problem is with the song and neither do i it's a fucking song i could see if it was two life crew you know sitting at home with my dick of my heart i got a black book for a freak to call

all that shit i get it there's people in the room but that's brown sugar there's no curse words there's nothing but if they banned that that made me fucking think that's got to open up my eyes and go what the fuck is next so anything now i'm pro i'm pro you're fucking words, man. I'm pro words. We're not here to be silence. We're not here to fucking enough is enough already. I'll be a little bit crazy on this

motherfucker too. We have to be. We have to be because this movement cannot work, silencing people. You're not going to tell me what material I can and can't do. We spoke about it on fucking Monday, but this is actually going to be a grown problem. So now I'm fucking jumping on this

motherfucker. Today I had a guest on here that's he's a great dude. man. I don't know how to describe Sam. Sam is a kid I saw at the store when he first got there. One of the funniest things, he was in the main room one night, and I don't think he knew it. It was like a, you know, it was an older crowd for some reason. And Sam's up there doing ecstasy jokes and Chinese jokes, and they're just, and I'll never, I can live to be a hundred. These are the things you learn when you're up at the store, what material to do, you know, eat it.

couldn't see him it's dark out he's up there talking about doing a hit of ecstasy and fucking eating lollipops and drinking water and $20 and they're just looking at him like we don't know what the fuck he's talking about i loved it you know i saw him go through what he went through the same thing i went through substance abuse all those years you know the store was uh you know years ago when they had a football player that was a little fucked up they sent them to Miami. Why? If the guys already got a problem, you're going to send them to Miami? That's the way it was

with us. I mean, we had problems and they sent you to the store where you could do anything at the fucking store. You know? I'm never, listen, I'm never going to tell you that I did bad things at the store. I didn't. It was what was there.

It was what the night called for. It was what went on down there. For people to look and go, oh, the store was a secret. Listen, And women went down there looking for shit. Guys went down there looking for shit. And they found that the drugs were a different level. You know, what people were doing there.

It was really an experience. It was 23 years of my life that I'm fucking proud of. I'm very fucking proud to be a comedy store comic. I'm very proud to have that moniker that Mitzi made me. I don't give a fuck about quitting high school, going to jail. That all went away when I got into the... comedy store that was the honor it put on me and i feel fucking honorable i know for a fact i'm one of the green berets of comedy and you can't take that away from it that's just the way it is 23 years cannot

be erased by some fucking joke or some stupid shit i will keep going forward i don't give a fuck that's why what's going on i would tell them people what they can say and what they can't say it's not going to float especially with us from the comedy store it's not going to float because we were trained a different way so please understand Understand me, understand where I'm fucking coming from, and understand what I endured all those years. People telling me that your stand-up's not going to work here, you're too dirty or this. And also, I'm at the store, Mitchie Shaw's telling me, I don't give a fuck of you, like, your asshole on fire. So think of that, and that's who I grew, and that's where I grew as a man and as a fucking comic,

and that's how I ended up the comic that I am. And listen, I might not be, you know, 10 Netflix specials in and all that shit. Do you think I worry? Do you think I stay up and then I worry about that? what I think about is what I did and how it was a fucking it could never happen again a street guy like me doing time going to L.A. and saying you could all suck my dick

movies, soap operas, fucking games I did it all and you can't take that away from me. Welcome Sam Trippley to the motherfucking podcast. I hope you enjoy this fucking savage. What's up Sammy Tripp? There he is. The best looking guy in the biz. You bad motherfucker what's happening? I miss you.

Surviving, brother. Survive in advance. That's what we're doing. What surviving? You're running things out there. Trying, brother. Everybody left. I got to hold it down.

How are you, my friend? I'm great, dude. I can't complain. Look at you representing your Dodger gear for tonight. Got it ready to go. They got to do this analytic shit is killing me, but, you know, it's Dodger baseball. They got to make it happen. The other night, I'm sitting here, and I'm fucking going through shit late night.

I'm trying to. put, you know, try to write a little bit just to see what I could whip up. And I was thinking of our nights, your Tuesday night, best show in L.A. That was... Best show in the world, dude.

Literally the world. That was just too fucking much on Tuesday nights. The massage girl, the Rifa, the fucking... It was just the pizzas. There was always pizzas, money, you.

It was... It's very hard to match. It's very, that's never going to happen again in our world. No, man, I was talking to Calumbaugh today. I was like, dude, just think about like we were Kings, bro. What that used to be, how like the, just the energy in the room. And like when we say it was like, when I say it was the greatest show in the world, it was literally the greatest show in the world.

It was the number one showcase show in the entire world. It was sold out main room, two shows every other week. That's 370 tickets, two shows. two shows packed out everybody you know just practicing the model of abundance giving it all away and it was a blessing dude and it was an honor to be a part of it and uh you rogan burr chrycher sigora see umings christie all of them theo the leo all of it dude just uh amazing just amazing you know you're not doing your show anymore i mean jim Florentine brought it to my attention.

He goes, I don't think he's going to distort anymore. I'm, you know, things change, and we're figuring it all out. There's a couple things going on. I'm waiting to, you know, have the LA comedy scene figure out its path right now. And, you know, we've talked before. I've been in this game for 20. I'm 48 years old. I started doing stand-up at 22 years old.

It's a long time in the game. And I'm just kind of figuring out what, the direction is and all my boys are gone. So it's hard to, you know, it's like, it's not just about money, but it's about performing with your friends and having this amazing night and celebrating our friendship and comedy

and all that stuff. And so it's not the same. So we'll see what happens. That's what it really was. You know, I would drink three expressos before I went down there on Tuesday because I couldn't bomb. Like I couldn't fucking bomb.

Like, there's no way. You can't bomb at a Tripoli show. I would do two spots. and I was hoping that bomb in the original room. Do you know what I'm saying? Because I would do your show and then run to the original room, do the 10 o'clock and get the fuck out of there.

So I was like, if I'm going to bomb, I'm going to bomb in the original room. You don't want to bomb in that main room in front of Tripoli. I'm going to say this about you. You were our Sam Kennison. When you were towards the end, man, you were just leading into you and what you did. And you were unfollowable.

And everybody was like, this guy's doing it the best out there. So it's like you really hit it like an amazing stride. And you really were Arkenison at that point. You were you were just like something no one's ever seen. And it was like it was an energy that could not be matched. And you just brought it, dude, every fucking time, bro. Every fucking time.

And you, you had this amazing thing where you would just get off right when time was up. You never ran it. You didn't have to worry about that. You just got in. Bam, like a gentleman got out. Got out. And you look great, bro. I got to be honest with you.

Last time I saw you, you were getting shot in the head on TV. You look fucking phenomenal, brother. Yeah. You're like, you're glowing, dude. I feel good. I'm glowing. You know, everything's working out. The pieces are starting to align a little bit.

It has been a rough, you know, it's been, it's rough without you guys. It was rough. I got to admit it. I got to come full circle here. It was rough the first six months for me. Like, I was beating myself up that I do the right thing. did I not do the right thing? You know, I knew I was burnt out on comedy.

I'll tell you that. That's the other thing. I get it, dude. I get that. I was burnt. I really get that, dude. You know, you said you have been doing comedy since you were 22 years old. And how old were you when you walked into the comedy store?

You were a young man trips. 25, bro. 25. That's 23 years ago, man. I, listen, I was at the comedy store longer than I lived with. my parents when I was born. I got out at 18. I was at the comedy store for 23 years

and I saw everything. I saw death and it's dead timed, what everybody calls it's dark period to like the zenith that got so big that we were just talking about. I saw it all, man. And I loved all of it. And I'll tell you something, man,

that dead time that everybody talks about is being super dark, it was the purest comedy ever was. Yes, it was. I mean, people were going up on stage doing comedy for the sake of comedy, not like, you know, worried about it. The industry is there because there was no industry there. And nobody showed up. And it wasn't about anything.

You'd be lucky there were nights, dude. I watched Paul Mooney do stand up for two people one time in the O.R. Two people, 45 minutes, super crush. It was about learning. Yeah, there's a lot of blow and craziness going on. But it was about stand up because the inmates ran the asylum. And we were just going up there and it was the purest comedy will ever be. I don't think you'll ever, in the history time, will ever get pure a comedy than that.

It was not about anything other than trying to work this act and getting better. And all those people that were there, you, all these guys, you, me, all these people have, like, are national headliners. A lot of them have Netflix specials. And it's just like they became the who's who of not just comedy, but podcasting. So it was a very magical time. But everything changes. You know, it's just like, that's kind of as you grow older.

you start to realize that. It's like there's a cycle to life, man, and you've got to kind of know what part of the cycle you're in. And just let it go, let it go, let it go. And if it's meant to come back, it's meant to come back. You know, I never heard somebody describe the Dark Ages in the store like that.

But I've got to be honest with you, we'll throw it on the table right now. That Dark Age is how I learned to become a comedian. You're absolutely right. It was pure. talking to Ari one night. Here we are doing your show. The thing is busy.

There's 100 people outside the comedy store on Tuesday nights. There's a line for fucking rap battle. You know, we went through that. People bring, I remember I would walk back then the guy from ABX tablets. Justin, God bless him. He would go, Joey, where's your car? Outside. I'm putting something in your car.

You don't even want me to carry it. They would put it in your fucking car for you. You'd go to go home and then you look, back and they'd be fucking a box of edibles. You'd have bags of weed, fucking Gino speedweed with those blunts. We would get down there. It was just amazing to see it and it was great. And I fucking appreciate it.

But I remember calling Ari and going, Ari, the store was on fire last night. He's like, ah, you know Ari. It's too fucking commercial for me now. You know, and I'm like, wow. And now you brought that up about the Dark Ages. Guys, if you're at home watching this shit, listen. When you're a comic, you want to be seen. We were all young.

We were all young. We wanted to be seen, agents, managers, production companies. You know who came to the store? Nobody. Nobody. Dick, you had to go to the laugh factory. If you went to the laugh factory in those days, I'll tell you something. Every time I went to the laugh factory, I came home with a card.

When the comedy store was dark, I was telling my day that I had a showcase for nacho, whatever, the fucking. wrestling movie. Jack Black went and set up a Latino night and he had all the big fat Mexicans and a big fat Cuban, me Rudy, you know, all the fat Mexicans, he had us do 10 minutes

Felipe and he checked us out and then afterward I spoke to him. That was the laugh factory. You know who came to the comedy store to see you? Nobody. No manager. I remember if you went to a manager, if a manager came up to him and said, oh, we're interested in signing you. Where can I see your

perform. You'd say the comedy store, 1030, 11 o'clock, he'd go, nah, we're not going there. There's no parking. There's nothing to eat. They don't take care of us. They don't care of us. They don't taste like gold. She would throw them out of there. Do you remember she fucking did the night of a thousand widows with Dom Herrera and the last minute Mitchie sure goes, fuck it, no industry comps. And all those young comics were pissed because they thought that if the industry went, their life was going to change. And she was

like no industry comps. They're like everybody else. They got to pay like everybody else. And that was the end of that. Then Andrew Dice Clay showed up for the Italian night. And him and Dom had an argument in the main room in front of everybody. Because he was telling you're not Italian. They used to go at it. They used to go

at it down there. And he, I mean, like he, because you know, there was a time where, uh, it was, comics would do hours on stage. Just hours. People, people have no clue what that was like. And I was working a ballet job, dude. And I'd have to be there at my job at seven in the morning, man. Seven in the morning,

dude. And sometimes I didn't have a car. My car wouldn't work. So I'd have to, like, hitchhike or get a taxi. And it was crazy, dude. And like, these guys would come in and they would do like three, four hours on stage. And I was just people, and these young comics are getting angry because they didn't get their five men's at the beginning of the show. And I'm like, man, you don't even understand, dude. Three, four hours on stage. I would leave there at three in the morning. They'd have to go to home and get the work at seven in the morning. I was valetian down the street. And like I would answer the door. People were like, oh my God, you were the guy on stage. You were so funny. Grab my bags. I got to get out of here. I'm like, ah, man, welcome to life. But it was an amazing time. Dude, nobody cared

about the store. Nobody. Nobody. The laugh factory is jumping. The improv was jumping. You know, the comedy always changes. And one of the big changes was Dublin's. Dublin's came in and was this big comedy show. It was a Tuesday night and it was on at this giant Irish bar that became this Miami nightclub that for 20 years now, this club has just been empty and nothing's happening. They say it's about rent or taxes. Someone always tax on it.

And they just haven't done anything with it, but it just sits there, right, quietly. But it was at the time it was Dublin. And this was during the Shaq and Kobe Laker like fucking pinnacle. It was crazy on the sunset strip, dude. And this was the first time where they had allowed, where all three of the Comedy Club comics would come and perform together. Because before that, you couldn't, if you were a comic store, you performed at the connoisseur.

If you were Laugh Factory, you performed at the Laugh Factory. And if you were improv, you performed at the improv. And if your name got on like, if you were a Comic Store comic, and your name was on at the improv, people would be who couldn't get spots. We're calling in snitching on you trying to get your spots, man. And this is the first time we had all come together in this fucking insane comedy night.

That kind of, I thought, changed comedy. And then it was a free-for-all. But, man, the comedy store was D-O-A, dead on arrival. But I wouldn't have had it any other way because you've got to go through it to get to it, ma'am. You got to, I mean, dude, if people saw where Sebastian was when he started. He had his personality

but working it out to where he is now. That would never happen if he had to do it in front of pack crowds every fucking night. That's a fucking great point. I still remember going to Dublin

and having such a great time that you didn't want to go to the store. And so here was the deal. The store used to do African American night on Tuesday nights. And they would, you know,

the brothers would be everywhere. I didn't it didn't bother me I performed there what was the name of the other show that Joe Torrey there was Mobetta Mondays Mobetta Mondays that's the improv

Fat Tuesday Fat Tuesday Fat Tuesday was when I got to LA was the biggest fucking night It was the Sam Tripoli show Yeah it was crazy there That's where Bruce Willis saw

What's his name And put him in the fifth dimension That's where what's his name saw Guy Corey Chris Tucker That's what Guy Torrey, that's where my boy saw Guy Tori and put him in American History X. That was real.

I still remember the, I used to telemarket at the comedy store for ends Mitchell. Enz Mitchell used to be a manager at the store. Oh, damn. Comedy Union. Comedy Union. Me, Shamer, tons of us would be upstairs telemarketing, $10 an hour, giving away free tickets and shit with ends Mitchell up there. That fucking store would be dead. We were giving away tickets and people still wouldn't come to the fucking comedy store.

Like you got a dollar. So far back in the day, dude, I remember when Steve Renazizi was working the cash register at the comedy store. And I walk in, he's like, and he'd be like, dude, should I start looking for a new job? I'm like, I don't know. This is how dead the comedy store was. The La Jolla Comedy Store was keeping the Hollywood Comedy Store aflo. That's how empty it was. And we couldn't start show until we had like at least like two people.

We had to get at like and if nobody showed up, we would wait until two people showed up. And then you would have to go up. And that's, you know, I pray that you can bomb an anonymity, dude. Like you just work through your fucking darkness with nobody watching. That's why I always love those end of those night spots. Because like everyone would go and you could just fucking lean into your craziness, man. And dude, those those days will never. Never be come back. You'll never see a brand that big be that low and just power through it, you know?

You know, I'm in the process of writing a book. So every night I got to make notes. And then I talk to the writer in the daytime. I'm not a writer. We talked on the phone for like an hour a day. And I'm trying to write that chapter right now about the struggle, that that fucking comedy store, how we were loyal to nothing. We were loyal to nothing. There was nothing there. There was Paul Mooney. There was Eddie Griffin. There was Joe Rogan. And that's it.

The rest was us. You know, every once in a while, Gary Shanling came in or Andrew or fucking Sarah Silvman or something. But that was it. That was it. None of these names would come in. It would just be us learning,

you know, doing drugs, fucking around. women, you know, it was just a grind and it was, you're right, it was an asylum run by the inmates. Yeah. Do you remember there was a manager? He said he had worked like 80 days in a row. The white kid, he ended up leaving,

like he cracked, Mitsy cracked him. He packed his bags and fucking went back to whatever state he was from. And every once in a while he pops up on Facebook like behind a people. Like he didn't even want Mitzie to find him. He's like, how you doing, Joey? If you come over here, call me

and he puts the bleaker back. It was just crazy. There used to be phones. I still remember being a broke comic. And at night, I would go into the manager's office and go, did anybody bring back a phone? I lost my phone. I didn't even have a phone.

I had a pageer, I didn't even have money for a phone. And they would give me the box, and the manager would get up and leave. And I would get the phones and then bring them to the fucking guys that robbed banks down in Compton. They were friends with Eddie Griffin, the Kansas City crew. You can't even write this shit.

I mean, it was just, I remember pulling up, and the beer would deliver the beer and the booze, and I go, I could rob these cases right fucking now. Now I was a sticky-fingered thief, and I never robbed the store. Like, I would pull up at 12, and I would see the cases of whiskey out, and I was like, if I go back to stealing, I'll never be a comic like this will just ruin my fucking dream. So I never touched nothing at the store. It wasn't until years later.

I'll tell you, I used to rob a waitress at the store years later. Oh, my God, really? She would put a tray by the thing, and we would come up to the tray, and she would leave the money out of the tray, like a little. And if we took her for a 20, it would be enough. And she blamed somebody else. I'm not going to tell you who. For years, she thought, when I found out that she was blaming a different comic,

now I went there on Mondays to rob her. Like every Monday, I would go down there just to rob, but there's nothing at the store on Monday nights. It's nothing, even back then. But I would go down at a robber, but the best robbery I ever did at the store. And this was, like I did like maybe six heists at the store, but the best one I ever did was I go into the manager's office to get a check.

And this white, I still remember his face, but I don't remember his name. Robert, maybe. He had the hair on the side, like Dick Van Dyke. He had the button shirt. He was just out of college. He was really into this job. Like, he was using everything from his degree for his job. and the inmates are running the asylum.

We don't even need you here. Just open the back and get us a fucking beer. We don't need your education here. We didn't need it. You needed a deaf mute. He would have done the job. So I walk in. He's like, hey, why can I help you?

I need to get, see if I have any checks back here. Because sometimes, even if you didn't have a check, you just looked. That's how broke we were. That's how broke you were. That check was paying rent. And the improv used to leave the checks out. You don't know how many times I robbed a Drew Carey check for the small seven,

or the, you know, because they were like $7.50 or $15. I would just be, I would just be, I would just be $7.7. I would be so desperate. I'd take the $7.50 and go right to the check cash in place on Whitley and Hollywood Boulevard. They knew me by first name and that motherfucker. I would be so broke. I was stealing $7.50.

$7. $7. When I used to work at the store, they, so I got picked up thanks to Maz Jabrani. Mazurani and Duncan Trellso got me at the store. I would work a full shift, bro. We're talking seven, eight hours. If Eddie Griffin comes in, it could go up to $10 for $25, bro. It was the whole pay for the shift was $25.

That's all I got. But she made me a regular, and she made me work the door, and I was blessed that because I learned so much. But, man, they got away with murder back in the day. store didn't give zero fucks there were no rules to them they operated in their own thing and that's kind of what they needed at that time and times have changed dude and things change we'll see what happens i love everybody over there just letting them figure out their path you know but yeah man it was outlaw and that's why what i find so far and for the longest time dude up until this crazy

pandemic happened the comedy store was the mecca of comedy and the mecca of comedy and the mecca of comedy podcasting, all the biggest podcasts were somehow associated with the comedy store. And we are also the center of the war against political correctness and political correct comedy. It was a cultural event going on at the comedy store. And I don't think anyone really appreciated until like now. A couple years later, we realized like what we were in the middle of. We didn't know it because we were in the middle of the storm. But later on, we look back.

It's like, this is the stuff the legends. Like when they talk about the D. Martin and Frank Sinatra, like, we were the comedy version of that. Like, people would always say all the time, it's like, the comic store was like nothing ever. Like, you could go to the whiskey, right? I saw Velvet Revolver at the whiskey, right? I never got to see them in the hall and talk to them. You could have your favorite comic, just walk right past you in the hall and engage you in five-minute conversation. That doesn't happen anywhere else in entertainment.

Nowhere else. There's no other place. Even the comedy seller, which is like the comedy store version on the East Coast, like comics sit up in a certain place. There's a stairwell to where they go on stage. There's no real place that you get to hang out and just chop it up with your favorite comic, man. It is truly the mecca of comedy. And we'll see what happens.

But even if I never perform there again, whoever knows what will have. happen. But let's say I never perform there again. I got the comedy store in my blood. It's in my bones, dude. I bleed red and black, man. And I I'll take the comedy store wherever I'm performing, man. What a lot

of people don't understand is that for a guy like me, I got locked up. I fucking got no high school diploma. I got a GED. I quit high school. You have no idea how being a part of the comedy store made you feel.

like I can't explain how I feel. Like people say to me, well, Joey, I can't believe you're not doing comedy. You didn't know what I saw either. I saw a lot. I saw a lot. And not bad things. I just saw the belly of comedy. I just saw it already.

I was at the store what he's talking about. And we took it as nothing. What he's talking about that it was the center for, I remember going up to Mitch and going, Mitchie, do you mind what I? Nothing. Nothing. was sacred in there. I remember taking my dick out on stage there

thousands of times and she was gone, oh, you took out the turtleneck again, keep it in your pants. It was what it was about. She knew what was going on there with sex and drugs and rock. She knew she was participating in it. She was the

fucking leader of it. So for us, like, what happened last week? Three things happened last week that were against my court. Dave Chappelle's special. John Gruden getting fired for something he said 12 years ago and the stones, no brown sugar.

That is pure communism. I don't know how the fuck you're right, dude. It's a cultural Marxism, bro. That is communism. That is pure communism. You could smell Cuba in the air. I could smell the bananas and shit like that

and the sweaty people. You're telling me that's not what, because it's about slaves. What I don't even get all this shit And who's complaining about the Rolling Stones And a song they sang You know, it just makes no fucking sense But they love

They love John They love John Lennon Do you know a song that John Lennon sung On his, like the Tonight Show bro? Do you want to hear the words he sung On the Tonight Show? And these are John Lennon's words. Women are the niggers of the world.

Yeah, that's on a like, If you believe that, too, that's where that, that is that time. Brown sugar is from a time to erase it doesn't change anything. It doesn't make the world any better. Everybody's worried about brown sugar, okay? Nobody's worried about what's going on in Libya, which is open-air slave drinks. Like, there's real shit going down, but no one's going to say anything about that because Obama caused it. So it's like, this is a classic textbook cultural Marxism, which is,

completely rewriting history. And that's what we're into right now. And this is why some people are allowed to say something. Some people are, it's all part of cultural Marxism. And it's all being pushed by rich kids, rich white kids. And you have Malcolm X and you have the Unabomber both saying the same thing. Rich white liberals are the most dangerous animals in the world. Because they're pushing an idealism that they don't live, that they've never lived through.

So unlike you from Cuba, your family, you could talk about what. happens when you get real communism, not theoretical socialism, which is what always happens. That's where it leads to. And it's just unbelievable that you have these kids who are just like railing against the patriarchy and all the, you know, you had that gala of then where all these people are like peg the patriarchy. That woman that wore that shirt, her family are all royals. She's from, they're the patriarchy.

So you have rich kids trying to get rich white kids trying to. trying to convince everybody that poor white kids are the problem, when in reality, the patriarchy that they're railing against is all their fathers and their grandfathers have all done it. And it's what happens all the time. They're super young. They rail, ah, man, the system. Then they get to a certain age and then he just,

they walk right into their daddy's office and they start doing everything they hated. So it's like, yeah, it's bizarre old fucking town right now. But people like you and Rogan and what I'm doing, any legion of skanks they're right there too like they're creating a system in which young versions of us can thrive in now i'm killing it right now you know why because i deal in authenticity brother and that's why you've always resonated with people because you are authentic as fuck and in this fucking age of phony shit truth like you're talking about robin waitresses all that shit they're dying for some realism dude that's what people want And that's why there'll always be a place for us.

And you know, now you're in this major movie. It's like all the blessings in life because you're such a good dude and you're so real that people in this sea of shit, you're a buoy, brother. You're a lighthouse in this fucking sea of bullshit, dude. How can we be such a shit fucking society? We'd like a shit society now. Like yelling at a kid for stand up. This happened 20 years ago with Andrew Dice Clay. They weren't looking for his head.

They weren't, you know what I'm saying? And they were in a way. You know, when he went on Saturday Live and said all that stuff, but nobody was looking to cancel him. Andrew went away on his own. People thought that they went, that, oh, well, Andrew, no, Andrew went away to raise his kids. You thought you put him down with your stupid fucking,

oh, well, we don't like dirty comedy. He went to raise his kids. and then when he finished raising his kids he made a fucking comeback a killer comeback a killer fucking comeback he just did the tour of his fucking life yeah you know and now you want to take what Chappelle did

and this guy got his feelings hurt well it's time that this country toughened up a little bit that's the first thing your mom taught you sticks and stones will fucking break your bones and words will never hurt you Joey the person leading this charge is a is the is the showrunner for a show called dear white people right there she's shitting on another group which makes her a fucking hypocrite now here's a bizarre part she is a

white trans woman okay which means she was born a white man transitioned into a white woman which means she is white people she's all white people he's both sides of it and she's fucking yelling about how bad white people are and she's yelling at a guy for making fun of her group when she openly makes fun of another group. Imagine being a black actor on the show, Dear White People

and you're getting notes from the showrunner who is a white trans person on how you should be acting in this blackness. It is clown town. They want to cancel Dave Chappelle, okay, for some jokes, why they were all

fine with cuties, which is a 11 year olds twerking, right? And you and I both have daughters. The notion of that thing happening is extremely frightening. Yet these liberals, most of them don't have children and don't have skins in the game, act like jokes are the worst thing in the world. And I'll tell you why. Because most of the people leading this charge, again, are rich white kids.

And you study their life, Joey, they're born into fucking the best hospitals, right? They go home to the best houses. that are behind the best gated communities. They go to the best schools, right out the gate, private schools. They graduate high school. They go to the most prestigious private colleges. You get interned right into the best gigs.

They start going to the best restaurants and the best clubs. They marry high elite people. Their life is nothing but pampering, okay? So when they say violence is never the answer and mean jokes suck, it's because there's only two things in the world that can affect. them. That are words and violence. And that's why they're trying to fucking outlaw everything. Because I've just said this before. These people want a world that plays to their strengths and outlaws their weaknesses. Okay. And that's what they're trying to create right now. Words and violence are the

only thing that can affect super right kids saying, fucking giving them the truth and then just punch them in the face. They can't handle any of that because they've been pampered for so long. So that's why political correctness is and political correctness is truly fascism and george carlin said the exact same thing it's going to be a different kind of fascism it's not going to be it's going to be where it's like one dictator we got this what they call corporatocracy is coming in and that is where corporations are going to run everything and that's what they're doing right now and that's why dave chapelle is herald by one side and i love dave but then john gruden who hasn't nobody's seen these emails, by the way. We've just told

what they're in. They've never shown us email. This guy's demonized and steps down and loses his job. It's all part of the mind fuck that's going on right now. Loses his job and gets his past glory's taken down. They took him down from the ring.

He won a fucking Super Bowl. His players would have complained about him over the years. We would have saw players going, Gruden is a fucking, is a Nazi. Gruden is a fucking slave You know, we would have seen things. There's nothing.

He's brought an email about lips that the guy was lying through those big lips. He called somebody a half a fag, you know, a Goodell or something like that. And by the way, Goodell has gay face. That's, I mean, the guy is gay fang. I mean, the dude looks like he loves dick. I've been saying that for since he got the gig. I'm like, that dude loves dick, dog. And that's why they hit so hard with him.

You can't go. I mean, like, what is punching up and punching? down. I mean, you're worried John Grude, I mean, like, Goodell has been a piece of shit forever. Now we're all worried about his fucking feelings. I mean, get the fuck out of here. Get the, and here's a problem,

Joey. It's like, what is the end result? What is the goal line of this whole thing? Like, what is equality? And I have a lot trans friends, dude. I used to do a lot of drugs and just met a lot of weird people, okay? I mean, I'm being honest with you. That's just who I am.

I shined in the darkness. I have a lot. of weirdo friends. I have trans friends that walk in here and you're like, that's the hottest chick you've ever seen in your life. Trans fucking person, right? I know these people, okay? Most of them don't want to deal with all this bullshit. They hate fucking drag queen story hour. They hate all this fucking shit. But these really loud people, and that's really always what it is, man. It's a small group of people. Most people just want to get along and live their fucking lives. But you got these squeaky wheels that caused all the chaos and they get pushed to the front to get us all the fight with each other. But the question is, Joey, what is the goal line? Equality? But what is

equality? What is equality? Let me tell you what equality is. The more you're in, the more shit you fucking get. It's not the more you and the less they make fun of you. The more you and the more you get made fun of. That's how it goes. Look who gets shit all the time? George Bush, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, Kanye West, the Kardashians, Jesus Christ. We can go down a whole list of people that are just so blunt of every fucking joke, because they're so fucking in. The more you're in, the more shit you get. So watch what you wish for.

This notion that gay people don't do funny shit, or black people don't do funny shit, or women don't do funny shit, is just the most ludicrous thing in the world. Black people are hilarious, and I'm going to make observations about black people. You ever been on World Star Hip Hop Dog?

Just seeing crackheads jumping off from third floors doing belly flips. It's like fucking funny. I can't talk about that? Get the fuck out of here. That's right. I wrote the video done with a black dude who put the firecracker in his eye. In his fucking eye. I love a brother who puts a firecracker

in his eye. You know, and they look at people for the wrong. I was thinking about myself. Like, I got to be honest with you. I say some fucked up shit. But at the end of the day, I would put my hand out to any race. And I've done it. I know I've done it for a fucking fact. I've done it.

You know, I'll goof on Arabs. I have three Arabs that are my best. friends. They call once a week the whole fucking deal. I think there was one particular kid that I think about them once a week because I couldn't get economics down and he fucking worked with me.

He would take me to lunch and work with me on economics and I finally got it down in college and I always said that motherfucker regardless. But I'll say the craziest things about black people Chinese people. I'll say the craziest things. But I'll bump into somebody who comes up to me

who's African American. And I go, hey, man, they'll come up to me and go, hey, we were like the podcast. And at first you go, you know, you said some shit on there, you know, from time to time. And I'll ask them, did you ever watch the podcast and feel like I was racist? They go, nope. You're just funny, motherfucker. You say it how it is. But we could, they feel it.

They know who's racist. And it's like me when people talk about Spanish people. I remember calling Bobby. I remember getting a message from Bobby Slate one day for Christmas. And he's like, hey, man, I just want to wish you a Merry Christmas, even though you're in a roachian festered tenement in the Bronx or a bunch of spicks. Now, somebody would have got mad. I don't get mad at any of that shit.

But I will tell you, I could tell when somebody's serious, and I could tell when somebody's just making me a butt of a joke. And I love being a butt of a joke, but when somebody, like, you spick, motherfucker, I get that when they're serious. 100%. And it's the difference between a racial, uh, joke, a racist joke, and a racial joke. Now, I

will even defend people's right to say off-colored stupid jokes. I mean, it's okay. We shouldn't be canceling people. People shouldn't be losing their jobs. When I write a joke, man, like I have a joke about this one female comic in L.A. that's so hot, but she only

bangs black guys, right? And I'm like, you're so fucking hot, I'll paint my dick black face. That's how hot you are, okay? All right? I'll put black paint on my dick. if it means getting some of that ass, okay? But my question goes, my question goes, could a black comic write that joke?

And if the answer is yes, I'm writing the fucking joke because it's not about, dude, equality isn't segregation. It isn't, and that's the biggest thing. When you see my new special, right? It's called No Lives Matter. I mean, no lives matter. There's always the comment, and it's 99% positive, and there'll always be a couple negative comments,

and it's always the same thing. oh racial comedy it's so lazy right but these political correct people force everybody into these silos so when like the reason i have a big problem with la comedy is now i know what everybody's going to talk about based on what they look like oh black comic's going to do white people do this white people do that women are going to talk about their pussies mexicans are going to talk about because society these these woke people folk force everybody into these silos where Watch Netflix specials. Everybody's just doing their stereotypes.

There's nothing original. So it's like, don't tell me I'm lazy when you force everybody who's fucking getting specials to be super fucking lazy, dude. I say talk about everything. Like Anthony Jezzanick, right? He's a good friend of mine. He's got 15 minutes on kiddie porn. I hate that shit.

But I'll defend his right to do those fucking jokes to the end of fucking days. If we're playing punching up and punching down, there's no more punching. down than that subject. But I will defend Anthony Jazzelinix right to do awful fucking jokes. And I love Anthony. I think he's one of the best comics out there.

Yes, he is. I don't get that, those jokes, but that's his right to do it. Because nothing should be off fucking the table. If you could do a, if you can do a movie on a subject,

okay, you should be able to do a joke on the subject. And the problem is the people who get offended think comedy is about fucking patty cakes. They think it's meant to be, yay! And no, dude, comics are some of the darkest motherfuckers I know.

And they talk about the shit that we really need to hear about. And if you can't handle it, don't come to a comedy club. You know, I remember when Kat Williams hit, you know, and I watched the special. I knew Kat before he hit. I did one of his rooms, and he was very fair to me.

And that Michael Jackson joke that he does, that's one of the most brilliant jokes of all time. That's what broke them. If you listen to that joke, it's a 50-50 in the room. That means the room was split down the middle. Some people

were owing. Some people were laughing, but they couldn't really laugh out loud because the people next to them were owing. And to me, that's what comedy is. Yes, dude, yes. That has always, when I saw it, I go,

that's comedy. Now we've got to get a motherfucker who could do that for 45 minutes straight. And Chappelle hit it. You know, Chappelle fit that mold. It wasn't me. It wasn't you. It wasn't Rogan.

It wasn't Segora. It was Chappelle, you know, and I'm happy that he did it. But that's what it's supposed to be. When you go to a comedy show, yeah, you're supposed to laugh a little bit, but if the comics doing his job, he's going to bring up a couple subjects,

that should make you squirm a little bit in your chair. Just a little bit. I don't want you to leave angry. and you shouldn't be getting angry. You should listen to it, say, I'll never pay 20 bucks for this jerk off again, and go on your merry way, not make a video and put it on YouTube

and try to ruin the fucking guy. You didn't like the joke. When did it be becoming offended, become a felony? When did that happen? You're offended? So the fuck what, man? So what?

Comedy's meant to elicit a response, and your response is, offended. Job done. Wait, there'll be another joke coming. That's it. That's the same way I fucking look at things too. That's it. You know, Chappelle did his job.

If you watch that special as a comic and you got the balls to raise your hand and the other, I'll go against Chappelle, you're a fucking hypocrite and your comedy sucks. Because that's what you're supposed to do. Your world collides with the rest of the world.

Tell me about it. You don't like ABC News. Tell me why. And I'll listen to you. If you explain it, we're in. Don't just come up there and say, I hate ABC News. But if you tell your take on why it rubs against your world, that's what the joke is.

You might not like it. Maybe you like ABC News. That's why there's vanilla and chocolate, because not everybody likes vanilla. And you have to accept that. But for you to try to ruin somebody's life, because they said something that's basically the truth.

people don't want to hear the truth. We know, we heard it years ago with that fucking movie with the Scientologist and the chick that fuck Bruce Willis, whatever that was, you know. Going clear? Was it called Going Clear? Something like that. No, no. It was the movie, the Army movie with Jack Nicholson when... Oh, oh, you can't handle the truth. Yeah, you can't handle the truth. That goes, that resonates in our society.

We can't even handle it. It's like if I came up to you and I go, Sam, can I talk to your first second comic to comic? Because this happened to me. When I first started, like four years into comedy, somebody tried to come and give me advice. But while he gave me the advice, he told me my negative, and I took offense to it. I left, I listened to his advice, but I walked away,

and then I went back to beat him up. When I got back, he wasn't there. But then I went home, and I thought about the words he said to me, and I go, that motherfucker wasn't insulting me. He was building me up. He was building me up. up. He was telling me what I needed to do to build up to be a good comic. And I listened to him. I got offended just a little bit, you know, like just a little bit like Joe Pesci.

You offended him just a little bit with the fucking whatever joke. Oh, am I fucking funny? I think I'm funny. Jimmy Schubert did that to me one time. I kind of, you know, I'm a father's son, dog. You know, my dad instilled a lot of things into me, a lot of positives, some negative. You know, one was a little bit of paranoia and a big ego. Because I think sometimes as a comic, you've got to be boxer almost. You got to almost believe in yourself when nobody else does. Even when you're having some weird sets, you're bombing.

And brother, I've had bombs. I've had, I followed you. There's three people at the comedy store that I follow. I bombed so hard. I question whether this is what I should do for a living. You, Lisa Lampinelli, and I think the other one, oh, was, what's his fucking name the old guy with the gray hair

that's part of the blue collar tour I forget what his name is. Run white. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I bomb the couple. Rough nights, dog. Rough nights. Rough nights.

But these are learning moments. But Jimmy Schubert turned me pulled me aside on a gig one time. And he goes, hey dude, you're really funny. But, man, you got bad attitude. You just, you're just, you're just rubbing people the wrong way, man. Because you're going around acting like you've done shit.

and you haven't done jack shit. You're super funny, man. People want to like you. But you're just, you're, and I read that, that resonated with me because I felt like I'd said that about my father at some point.

Like he just couldn't learn to work well with others. And like from that point on, even in recovery though, I learned, I worked on that. Like nobody's thinking about me, man. Nobody's doing it. And I have to listen to what people are saying.

So, you know, and sometimes the truth hurts. Like Dana just gave me a, a note on a joke. And I kind of got mad, but I understand what she's saying. So I'm going to like tweak the joke a little bit, you know? So it's like you have to, when you get a past being open to criticism,

that's when I think you start to be in a little bit of decline. You start to lose the plot and the narrative and the respect for your crowd. I think you always have to have a tiny bit of healthy fear of the audience in that you hope that they love you. Because the minute you don't care, I see it happen all the time. There becomes a disconnect between you and the crowd. If you don't have a healthy desire for them to like you and want to and do something that they'll appreciate, I think you'll lose the plot of stand-up. Got to respect the audience.

You got to think about them. Think about their every feeling. I think, you know, for me to become a great comic, I had to start thinking. I had to start thinking about the audience. And yes, that fear is healthy. because once that fear is gone, you shouldn't be doing it. Once the healthy fear is gone, I get a little fear from doing the podcast. When Mike, I know he's on his way up here for like 10 minutes before Mike comes here.

I got to sit down because you get a little scared. So sometimes I go, maybe I should just cancel. No, this is what is natural. I don't know how many nights, you know, especially going to the first. fucking store. You know, doing, I don't know what's scarier. Doing a road gig and trying to be, you know, a great comic for that audience. You know what they went through and they paid. Or going down to the store when you're only going to do 15 minutes, but you're going to be with the fucking, with the people who matter. You can't go down there and fail. Can't go down there and

fail. You're going to be with Bill Burr and this is your chance to, earn your fucking, you know, to earn your fucking wings. You got to fucking earn it every night. And this is it. Never mind going, doing red rocks in front of 18,000 people. They're high on life. They're breathing oxygen. Go down to that fucking store on a Tuesday and go in that fucking jungle fest that they have.

Your show, the original room. There was a part. I would look at that lineup before I went down there every Tuesday. And I had to stop. Like, I'm just going down. Once they call you and tell you you have a spot, don't look at the lineup because that's going to affect your game. 100%.

If you look at Ali Wong, Chris DeLea, Ron White, and then I'm somewhere in there, it's going to affect you. Don't even look at the lineup. Just go down there like you're eating ass with your head tucked in, straight fucking in. You're going right with the third eye into that motherfucker. Bam, right there, dog.

I'm totally with you, man. It's such a psychological game that's, getting played. Because if you really get great at comedy, you become like a cult leader, you just get the whole room thinking as one. You get all these strangers to think as one moving group.

And it's like, that's why when you fuck a joke up, people snap out, you got to pull them back into the thing. So big trance. So a big thing for me, man, was like, I realized like, because I love, you know, Tom Rhodes says, I do stand up like I'm playing at the front of the

net in tennis, right? The really aggressive John McEnroll type fucking style, right? Which is totally true because I do get off on seeing what I can get away with. But one thing I really learned is like, I can't just be doing that the whole time. I have to stick and move. So it's like my whole thing is like my style of comedy, Joey, I call it Gator Roll, right? I call it the Gator Roll. And what the Gator roll is, is I grab them at the top like an alligator does.

and I slowly, slowly drag them in to the deep, dark waters of what I find is crazy. And that's where I get them, right? But I can't open crazy. I used to open crazy and bury myself. And it's just like you can't do it. It's a psychological operation. You have to start very, very slow and easy with relatable shit. Like now I got all these jokes about my kids right now, like real simple.

their Sam Tripoli jokes. So it's really simple stuff. And then by the end, I'm talking about how, like, gays are, days are like mass Nazis now. Like, they fucking, like, if your nostrils come out, like, you're flying, the fucking gay stewardess will be on you. But I'm like, these are the ones who could,

this is a demographic that couldn't, like, stop bear backing each other during AIDS. Like, you know, I mean, so it's like this, and then they're laughing at it because I've taken this time to fucking psychological. bring them and prepare them into what we're doing. It's very psychological, man. Stand up.

That's why it takes 10 years just to truly get to understand it. To master, it takes another 5 to 10 on top of that. And that's why when, like, the comic walks in, you see kill you, like how long you've been doing it? 20 years. You're like, yep, that's 20 years of being in the lab, working on experiments, and coming to understanding what fucking this, this, this gentleman. I mind tricks shit you're doing comics are jetties real great ones are jetties man that 20 year mark really opens up your brain and you know who told me that missy short paul rogiggas was on stage

one night in the main room i went back there she was there in her little boot and she sat me in come say now and she said you see what are you doing that's 20 years and i remember at the time i was doing comedy like nine or 10 and i was like check you know what I'm saying check We're going for the 20-year mark to do what the fuck he's doing. And it really is. You do really, it's a sight. You know, listen, this is the best way I can explain it. From zero to 10 years, you can't call your shots.

You don't know if you're going to bomb. It's a 50-50 in your head. All I know is from 20 to 30, you're going to bomb. But I have a little bit more control over them. I know how to get myself. It's like zero to 10 years in Jiu-Jitsu. I've got to start on my knees. after 20 years, I'll start on my back

because I know I could get the fuck out of there. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, for sure, dude. It's like, what is the game plan? What's going to work with this crowd? And, you know, for me, like, I get off stage now and people like, oh, dude, I really relate to that stuff.

I never used to get that because I've done it all. Like, I bring these young guys on the road with me, and sometimes I'm like, I think these guys are getting bigger laughs because they're going for credibility right now, right? They're trying to get credibility with the crowd. when I'm trying to find out who I am as a person and if any you motherfuckers can understand what I'm talking about. Like 47 becoming a dad used to have a bad drug problem, super sex addiction, all these things.

And now I'm in charge of two little girls and like me trying to be the best man I can for not just myself, but for them. Like I don't want to embarrass these two people and I'm doing the best that I can. and like there's a relatability to that. I'm not going to say the name of the comic, but there's a comic out there that used to be supernova. And I hear now he's kind of struggling. And I think it's because he hasn't graduated to that next level of his life personally.

Like a lot of the jokes that he's doing are from, you know, when we were all running the gun and hanging and banging, right? And now his crowd is much older. They all have kids. They're all married with kids. That's what they will. That's their mindset. And if you can't, you know, you can't keep doing the same act.

The only constant in the universe has changed. If you're not adapting and changing with the times, like for me to go up there and just do the same act that I did as a kid, you know, it would just completely fail on stage because that's not who I am right now. The truth is that like, I'm not a sexual dynamo anymore. I'd rather go to bed, okay? I used to do a ton of drugs after this show. I'm going right back to the hotel, grabbing a hamburger, and doing nothing. I'm like, you caught me at the road. I have all this power now, and I don't want anything to do with it.

I just want to go to bed and wake up sober in the morning, pray, write down my goals, do my yoga, do all the stuff that, like, 10 years ago, I would be, like, laughing at this guy. But that's who I am now, and it resonates with people because, you know, I mean, you know, just all the craziness you used to do with people. And all the craziness you do with women. and now you see them on Facebook, they're like, I got three kids. You're like, used to be a fucking savage. It's growth, man. And if you don't grow and your act doesn't grow with you, your job isn't to get the fucking 20 year olds anymore.

Your job is to get the people who relate to you. And they're probably around your age demographic. If you get some 20 year olds in there who appreciate what you talk, then that's great too. But to be like running and gunning and trying to get these 22 year, you know, I like it's to be in your late 40s, early 50 and still be doing pop comedy, I think you've lost it. You've got to really get honest.

And that's what, again, authenticity is the key to growth in comedy and entertainment. People want to connect with you with real shit. They want to be like, that's some real shit that guy just dropped on stage. And I think that's why you resonate with everybody. And when you do want to go back to doing stand-up, if that day ever comes, people are going to be just thirsty to hear what Coco has to say. because you always give the real shit. And that's why it was always so hard to follow you

because it's like, is my shit. I mean, dude, I used to, one of the biggest bombs I ever had was following you at a Joe Rogan show in San Jose. You did literally 10 to 15 minutes on ass eating. And I had to ask myself, do I have anything that can touch that? And according to the crowd, there was nothing.

I go, I had to follow Joey Diaz at a Joe Rogan concert. That's like middling for Van Halen And the opening act is David Lee Roth It's gonna be a rough set dog You know But that's because you got this authenticity Way earlier than a lot of us got it Now to my best of my ability

I live in that And you know I think that's why I'm resonating With people right now You're doing a great I remember going to see you when you had that Show with the chicks on stage And the whole fucking thing and you were up on stage and I walked in

it was at the improv Ari was there and I remember going Ari was in awe like he was just standing like typical Ari he stands like that like you know and I walked in and he was just watching and he was giggling and I go what's up man and he goes it's great to see Tripoli doing Tripoli

like look at this there's women and Playboy and fucking this guy It was great, dude. It's been an education, Sam. I miss you. I'm happy to come on to that. I love you so much, brother. I mean, like when you left, I cried, and I still and sad about it.

But seeing how you, seeing you right now, talking with you right now, and just seeing like you're glowing, dude, I couldn't be happier from you. And it's like, sometimes you got to let you go to grow in life. And that seems what's happened to you. And, you know, I haven't been able to see you since all this. but I know one day we're going to powwow together, hug, talk mad shit, and, and love each other. And, you know, I mean, like, I love you the pieces. I'm so happy your movie rocked. You were fucking great in it.

I did enjoy watching you get shot. That kind of fucked me up. But outside of that, it was a fucking great experience. You know, I love you, man. I know I'm a little crazy, you know, with the conspiracy stuff. But some people don't call me anymore and they don't talk to me anymore. everything I do is I'll love, but you never left me, and I'm always appreciative of you.

And if anyone's listening to me, come see me in Miami this weekend. All right. Go see him. Where are you at the improv? I'm at the, dude, I got to go to Miami. I just want to go to South Beach and see how many chicks I recognize from fucking bang bus, you know, so that's why I'm going. It's always a fucking pleasure to go to Miami.

You see some shit that you go up. To get paid to do it is like, at the end of the day, we're living pretty nice, dude. Last time I went to Miami was Thanksgiving weekend 2019, and I saw a girl there at the improv that I had, like this is what you're talking about. I had to take a double look. In 1999 to bring New Year's in,

they were at the improv in Coconut Grove, these girls. It was her and another chick with gigantic tits. And I had my girlfriend with me at the time, Not my wife. I had a different girlfriend. This is 98, 99. And we start talking, and my girlfriend was one of these fucking strippers who would talk to other women that had big dits.

And, you know, she'd attract these fucking lunatics. And, you know, all of a sudden, my girl's like, listen, they're coming back with us. You know, I'm in the fucking, now we go back to the hotel, and we're in the little fucking room there. And I don't know, these two girls are talking. And I'm concerned with my girlfriend. I really don't care about the two.

I'm not going to do nothing to them. So what do I care? My girlfriend's here, do you know what I'm saying? But it didn't turn out that way. Next thing, you know, we're doing blow. I go to the back, them I come out, the two chicks with the big tits are eating each other out, 69.

And my girlfriend's there with a whip, and I'm like, what the fuck is this? And she's like, suck his dick. And I'm like, you know. And the chick was hammed, and they both passed out. And then the next one, we had to wake up. and they're on the floor naked

and when they saw me they were like covering themselves I don't even remember you from last night I saw that crazy bitch when I went the last time so that's what you're talking about these crazy bitches that were crazy 20 years ago and now they show up in their moms

they got a wagon now with two car seats and a fucking and an art thing in the back so they could paint at the park or whatever the fuck it is so yeah and when I saw we both locked the eyes and the last time before of that, I went to Miami.

This is in 2014. I went and the improv was closed for a while. So they were still doing shows like a burger place. Big room, pretty cool. And the last night there I'm walking off and I see this girl, she comes up to me. She goes, how are you? Good, good.

You know, I just thought it was a general, how are you? Like just some lady saying, how are you? When I looked at her, I kind of remembered her, like her face, but she had gotten big. like she had getting like 50 pounds over the years. And I go, how do I know you? And she goes, we had a threesome in 1998.

And I'm like, oh, I remember that one, her and a chubby chick. And the chubby chick was fucking, you know, you can't touch you. She's huge. And I'm all coked up. And the chubby chick's like, come in, come in. So I had to go through her first. And I just wanted to star. I didn't want to do the chubby chick.

So I waited to the chubby chick left. I played like sick. I don't feel good. And the chubby chick wasn't out the door. and I was on top of the blonde. And while I'm on top of the blonde, the chubby chick comes back because she forgot her fucking cup or cheeseburger.

And she's like, what's going on in here? I thought you were sick. I got the chick out, 69 in them. I got the cape on and shit. And she's like, you just didn't want to be with me. I wanted to be with you. I'm like, listen, I was sick while you are saying, fuck you. And she ran out of it,

and I ended up with the blonde chick for a week until I left. And the blonde chick took me out of the dinner and said, lose my number. I'm getting married next month. Oh, dude, these She was engaged. I once had two 300 pound chicks.

Eat my feet. That was one of the, the weirdest threesomes I've ever had. They're like, we just want to lick your feet. I'm like, are you going to throw some fucking blue cheese on that shit too? You fucking die of bitches. But who am I the judge?

I'm a fucking thick monkey right now, too. So love to all the big ladies out there, you know? God bless you. I think big chicks have tighter vaginas anyways. Yes, they do. Those tiny chicks have fucking Pringle cans for pussies. Chubby chicks do have tight pussies because they just get blow jobs.

Nobody wants them lurking. You got to go in that ass with a crowbar. You know what I'm saying? You don't got a crowbar. You're going to bust that muffling. You can't bust the seal. You got to get in there. It's hot in there.

I love your Sam Trips. No idea is you the best ever do. I love you to pieces. And I hope someday soon we can see. other in person. I'll see you at the go, Joe. When is a special coming out? The specials out. Just go to samtriplea.com. All three of my specials are there. The two specials I shot at the Viper Room and my brand new. I'm not like this is literally the only show I've ever promoted out. I just want people to find it. It's called No Lives Matter and we just light everybody up and it's a great hour and I'm very

proud of it. So you want to watch a great hour. It's about 38 minutes or you want to watch a 38 minute special. Go check it out. Sam Trips, I was there when you walked into that fucking store when you were 20, whatever the fuck you were. So it's been a pleasure to see you grow up into a man. I love it. How are the girls? The girls are blessed. I can't believe I'm a girl, dad, to two girls, two girls, know me as dad.

And that, like, is such a blessing. And it's like, you know, it's hard to go on the road now, man, because I'd rather be a home with them. So I pick my times going on the road. and I take raising them very personal. I want to be the best dad. And I just want to raise ninjas, which, by the way, my daughter's names are ghost and ninja Tripoli. So it is what it is, brother.

Trips, I love you. I'll be in touch. Stay black. Say hello to Eddie for me. Thanks for having me on, bud. Anytime. I love you so much. You're the best. I miss you.

I miss you. I miss you. All right, you bad motherfuckers. I hope you enjoyed Sam Tripoli. He's one of my best fucking buds. And he ended up becoming a fucking sad. And that's what when we walked in that store, that's what we wanted to come out of savage. You know, you go in one door, you come out the back door, and you're ready for podcasts, movies, TV shows, arenas, whatever they put out you, that's what the comedy store preps you for.

I love you, motherfuckers. Thank you very much for watching today and listening, whatever the fuck you're doing. Maybe you're download it. Maybe you're watching on YouTube. As long as you fucking have your ideas in your heart. I don't give a fuck how you put it in there. Stay black. Have a great weekend.

Laughing gas is on fire. Me and Mike were just talking about it. That's it and that's that. Have a great weekend now for a word from my motherfucking sponsors, Jack. All right. We're back here. I want to thank my brother, Mr. Sam Tripley, for coming on and dropping some tremendous knowledge. And I want to thank you guys for always supporting the podcast.

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for listening to the joint. Thanks for Sam Tripoli and I love you motherfuckers with all my heart. I'll see you Monday morning 8 a.m. 7 a.m. Tip top motherfuckin mgoo. Stay black. I love you.