The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #112 | DEAN DELRAY | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: November 3, 2021

Welcome to The JOINT..... It's Wednesday, November 3rd..... This week we talked with the Great, DEAN DELRAY! https://www.deandelray.com https://www.instagram.com/deandelray https://www.twitter.com/deandelray This episode is brought to you by Freeze Pipe, DraftKings….. Go to https://www.TheFreezePipe.com & Enter PROMO CODE: JOEY For 10% OFF your 1st Order! Download the DraftKings SportsBook App & Enter Code: JOEY https://www.DraftKings.com/sportsbook to bet $5 on UFC 268 to win $200 in Free Bets! Go to https://www.Stamps.com Use Promo Code: JOEY for a 4 Week Trial, Free Postage & a Free Digital Scale! Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #DeanDelray The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....

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On a Wednesday morning, November 3rd. What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? Welcome to the joint. It's Wednesday the third of motherfucking November. November's pushing on, guys. That's it. It's the final fucking run of the year. Three weeks from tomorrow, you got Thanksgiving,

and then what is it? Four weeks after that, it won't even give you a fucking chance. You fucking wake up, you go to the store, and you're here and fucking, and so this is Christmas, and you're like, what the fuck? It was just July. at a baseball game sweating profusiously. It's a great day. I was, I'm still writing a book,

guys, listen, the movie came out, nothing has happened for me. I have not heard from my theatrical age. I don't give a fuck, I'm not mad or anything. But it's so funny that the only thing I'm working on right now, this is giving me a chance to work on this book. So I talk to her. We talk an hour and a half to an hour on the phone,

four times a week. This book is moving a lot fucking fast. anticipated we uh like i said i cut out you know i would go on these fucking earbeatens and ever since i'm not high all the time anymore now when i do the the i look at the main fucking diagram whatever the thing we did and then i simplify it i rewrite it and then i tell her on the phone and we just go back and forth so the process has been great i'm really happy to do this uh my niece is going through some pictures i used to send her mother's pictures for years when I was in Colorado and a couple weeks ago she told me she goes I got a bunch of

pictures of you and some German shepherding and shit I go oh my god your mom saved those pictures so she's getting all the pictures together for the book and all that so it's coming together great and I got to be honest with you this thing was eating away at me for seven fucking years I couldn't get this done Erica has really fucking just it's amazing when people know what the fuck they're doing you know what I'm saying like you next time your car breaks and you're like Like, I'd do it. I go on YouTube. That's great.

That's great. But when you call it makes a weird noise, don't come fucking crying to me. When people know what they're doing, they just go right through something. She said, I've learned more from her. Like, guys, after working with her, I had to stop writing. Like, that's how bad I am. It's like when I saw Stanhope in 96 and I almost quit comedy because I knew I'd never be so good, like as good as he was. It's the same fucking thing.

This chick just simplifies it. So we were doing the chapter. I want to fill you guys in on this chapter real quick. We were doing a chapter on 1998-99. And it was the four blocks. That's what the chapter is called. It's Curzon, Vista, Sierra Bonita, and Curzon. And those are the four blocks from me, Stanhope, Mitch Hedberg, Ralphie Mae, and Josh Wolflett, you know.

And we're just going back and forth through the chapter, how we were all broke. Ralphie was friends with Jay Moore and Jeff Ross That was the only hope we ever had Again a couple dollars Like when they came over If they chipped in 20 Like we would each shipping like two or three dollars

And buy like a turkey So Ralphie could deep fry it Or we would buy fucking Ralphie We would deep fry a fucking turkey In his backyard till 7 in the morning The thing would be smoking It was just he couldn't You know we were broke

Now let's simplify this It was basically at that time. It was me, Doug, Ralphie, Josh Wolf, myself, you know, even Mitch Hedberg, all of us were broke. The only guy that had money. Any money was Doug Stano.

He had gotten a $10,000 deal from HBO. And that money was probably gone. You know, he would buy us all sodas and shit like that. But we were just six or seven broke comics. There were some other comics in the neighborhood that you don't know. They got out of the business, so they moved away. And it was just a life of a fucking comic, man. It was just so weird to write this chapter.

We spent two days on it and just talking about it and going back and forth. It was like the highlight of my comedy career. Like, I have to think about the best time I had in the 30 years, it was 97 through 2000. Right before I met Terry, I mean, when I met Terry, it was great too. But it was just me alone. it was bare bones you know like when you have a girlfriend and you're doing something

it's like she helped me do it I was living with her you know this I was living in a car I was sleeping on Ralphie Mae's floor I was living on Josh Wolfe's couch you know Josh Wolf was living on a fucking budget he had no money in three kids Ralphie had no money he was living on

fucking whatever gigs he did now Ralphie was making a lot more money than me and Josh Wolf at the time but we were broke you know we were just we were just all we were looking to do was make rent, eat, and in my world pay child support. I wasn't looking to buy cars.

I wasn't looking to buy clothes. In fact, I had to decide between socks and underwear. What's more important? Like when you're a broke comic, you have to decide about what do I have money to spend on? Sox and underwear. So I never wore underwear. I said, fuck it.

If it's between socks and underwear, you can live without fucking underwear, but you can't live without socks. Your sneakers will be all fucking stinky and shit. So I didn't have underwear guys I would just fucking live I had maybe four pair of pants Four shirts

A pair of sweats a couple T-shirts and swimming shorts That doubled as you know Shorts you know like they just doubled You had no choice you know You didn't have a pair of running sneakers You never pay Oh these are my state sneakers no One shoe fits all

That shoe went to the gym with you That shoe went on the stage with you That shoe if you put on a suit You had to put sneakers on because you didn't have shoes. We were that fucking broke. But I never can remember myself being that happy because we were making it happen.

I was auditioning. Was I booking? No, but I wasn't expecting to book. It was my first two years here. Yeah, you expected the book because you're a fucking idiot, but not because you're any good. You're like, I got that.

No, you didn't. You went in there fucking blew it. You know, I had nothing going on except whatever I was making going on. So all I had going on was a notebook and the comedy store and occasional spots at the improv and the fucking laugh factory. But my life was at the comedy store. And Doug, when those, we got $15 a set from the comedy store. So if you got, if I hosted and did four spots, that's $85 a week.

And I was happy. $85 a week was like $10,000. Like when I would pick up that $85 a week,000. for comedy, for my comedy. Come on. That was a feeling that you couldn't even, like I made $85 this week doing comedy. I don't give a fuck about the world.

I don't give a fuck about taxes. I don't give a fuck about anything. All I care about is getting on stage, getting better, and finding a place to sleep. Doesn't even have to have a blanket. That's how bare bones we were. We were fucking animals. And you know what?

She asked me at the end of the, of the fucking thing, she goes, Joey, from listening to this, I mean, part of it sounds great. But the other part of it sounds like you were struggling. I go, let me tell you something. That was the most fun I ever had in my career was that little fucking time period

and we were broke. We were just going to Ralphies, eaten. We would buy a bottle of like the cheapest vodka, like at night. The cheapest vodka. And he would make, we'd make bloody marries.

I never drank a bloody merry in my life. I don't ever want to drink a bloody marry in my life. But let me tell you something, bitch, when you're broke, you'll drink that fucking bloody marry with cocaine. I was doing bloody merry with cocaine. I didn't know if it was blood coming out of my nose or tomato juice. I didn't know what the fuck was coming out of my fucking nose. But let me tell you something, man.

When I think about those times, like, when I got off the phone with her, I looked at the outline. And I'm like, I'm saving this fucking outline. I'm going to frame this fucking outline and sell it. Because that was the best time in my fucking life. We had the Sunset Grill, the song The Eagles sing about. We had the guitar center. We had the flower shop where, what's his name,

would buy flowers from Maryland Monroe. We had the creepy comic bookstore, nuclear comics, whatever that thing. And that was our day. We just went into those places like we had money. Like we'd walk in, hey, what's going on? And we looked through shit. We used to go into the guitar center and, fucking just play the drums and play the guitars.

The text would come over and let us do shit. And they would like, fucking, after 10 minutes, they would just walk away. We'd just be making noise. It sounded like metallic unplugged if they were drunk and retarded and blind. Like, we were just horrible. But that area was our fucking playground. There was a hotel there on the corner of the Sahara or something.

And there was a pimping there that would get his dick sucked. I mean, we would go watch him. And then he would throw the condoms into the pool. And the pool was green. and all you would see were these big magnum condoms flitting the fucking thing. That was our entertainment. There was a gas station

that I would sit by the corner and wait for the owner to come out and pump gas because I would run in, get a bag of chips in a soda, and then put my hand behind the counter and take a pack of Marlboro lights. When he would come in, there would just be... I only had a dollar for the water.

That was a dollar for the soda. I would go in there every time I was broke. And every time he'd be pumping gas, I'd run to the fucking gas station, grab a water, a bag. That was my breakfast. I lived off of Wendy's 99 cents cheeseburger junior and a bowl of chili at that time. I would get a bowl of chili for 99 cents and 99 cents junior burger and fries. That's what we had, three dollars. Me and Josh Wolfer, Josh Wolf would make turkey burgers.

But my point being, no matter how broke I was, no matter if I had a sleep on the floor, no matter what was going on, what adversely was getting thrown at all of us, we were having the best time of our life because we were doing it on our own fucking time. So if you're one of those people that's thinking of becoming a plumber or an electrician and there's that cold period where you don't have any money, let me tell you something. Get into it. Don't worry about that time because you're not going to be broke. You have friends and you have people around you and you have other acquaintances that are going

through the same fucking struggles, and we just made it work. It just worked. While I was in it, I didn't think I was going to get out of it. I was thinking about it yesterday, like 1999, I never thought I was going to get out of being a feature act,

fighting to be on the road and all that shit. But years later, things slowed up. I got a job. But at that time, right then, 99, none of us had money. Josh Wolf was broke, all of us, and we were just six guys helping each other out. You know, every once in a while,

Josh Wolf would have extra money. He'd make his turkey burgers with mushrooms and onions and shit. And that turkey burger was like a fucking lobster tail back then. So if you ever thinking of switching careers or getting something where you're going to be, money's going to be tight for a while, don't let it get to you. Go for it. You know why? Because you're never going to forget that time.

That's what's going to make you a better, whatever the fuck you want to do. In my case, it may be a better comic going through that time period. because I know I went through it and I'll never have to be there again and it was just a great time doing it so when I look at my career and I go yeah man I struggled and shit let me tell you something

that struggle was fun as fuck when the struggle ended is when it became work and that's why I'm not doing it anymore because it became work but it was a fun fucking struggle and if you ever have the opportunity to look forward to it it's gonna make you a strong

motherfucker I told him two nights ago I was in the, you know, in the basement listening in the fucking music. And I stumbled upon a Supreme song. Keep me hanging on by the Supremes. I think it's a great fucking song. It was out of Motown's biggest height, you know. And I know a lot of you people go to the Supreme. What are you thinking, Joey?

Jesus Christ. No, I've liked the Supreme since I was 13. My mother listened to him in a bar and I like that Motown sound, you know. But when I was thinking about it, I go, there's only one person that would appreciate this music. And that's fucking Dean Del Rey. So I call him up, I go, Dean, I'm listening to the Supremes. And I thought of you, because Dean's a student of the game. He likes all fucking music.

Black, white, Chinese, he'll find the beauty in it. So out of respect for him today as guest is my man, Dean Dalrizzi. We do our daily little listen, no matter what podcast I'm on, no matter what are you guys like it or not. Dean Del Rey, Rudy Sarzo, there's a handful of guys that come on my podcast between 90 and 120 days because I miss them. Sick, a little beyond soon, you know, people like that. I miss these guys. So I hope you enjoy it. Dean Delray. Shit. Welcome to the motherfucking joint, cock sucker. There he is the fucking star of the Sopranos film. What's going on? The star. I got shot in the fucking head by, uh, by Alec Baldwin.

and that motherfucker shot me with a prop gun, that cocksucker. If you see me getting shot in the head, you could tell. I didn't know. Nobody knew what was going on. They just shoot me in the head. That's fucking Alec Baldwin that was driving on a bicycle, eating a bag of potato chips with the fucking prop gun in his pocket. A little clam dip and everything.

What's going on, brother? Oh, man, you know, just back from Vegas after 14 shows out there at the comedy cellar, that's about it. That looked fucking great. I was looking at your pictures and you brought the dog with you. You had the whole fucking family out there, didn't you? Yeah, I just kept thinking to jail. You go, don't bring your fucking dog everywhere.

Don't bring your fucking dog. Jesus Christ, I went trick-or-treating that day. 40 fucking kids. And the one guy says to me, hold on, our friend is coming. He's running late. And he shows up with a fucking 90-pound dog and with trick-of-treatment. And the whole time, I'm like, you know, there's always that one jerk off that tries to take attention from the kids. It's about the kids.

Leave the fucking dog at home. They put like a superman. costume on him or some shit. The fuck is wrong with you with a Superman costume on a fucking dog. And the dog's a half a fag to boot. Like if he was a tough dog or a pit bull with a beard, then I'd be in

but he's a fucking fruitcake the dog. Fiple with a beard. Yeah, like, you know, I want to see a fucking animal missing an eye. That's the one you put a Superman fucking suit on. So he had him in the stick when he was a puppy or some shit. Yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. There's two ideas.

What's going on, my man? What's happening, brother? Oh, man, I fucking, you know, I was in Vegas and I had this guy on Josh Freeze, who's one of the biggest drummers on the planet, I play with nine-inch nails and Weezer and Devo, everyone. And so he's like, hey, I'm playing with Sting. I have him on the podcast. And he goes, we're going to be doing a dress rehearsal Wednesday at Caesars come by.

So I go down to the theater and it's just me. like 10 people watching Sting and his whole band just fucking kill it, dude. Two feet away. He's like fist bumping man shit. How does Sting sound? Dude, he sounded unreal.

70 years old. He looked great. He sounded great. They're playing some great police classics like walking on the moon, you know? Oh, man. You know, a couple weeks ago on Patreon, I gave out synchronicity. as one of the albums of the week.

And I went three years ahead because I was like, you know what, this is an album that people need to listen to. Like you wouldn't go to the store and buy the police unless you were a police fan. Now, I don't walk around with police shirts. Do I? You don't see no fucking. They got like three albums that aren't good.

They're deadly. Yeah. Like you too. Like you two. I'm not a YouTube fan, okay? I'm not a YouTube fan. I like them. But when it comes to four,

fucking, that one album they put on 87. Oh, man. There's just some albums that people need to fucking have in their life. And I feel bad when they don't have that particular album. Those, like, Eat a Peach is a necessary album. You know, fucking Super Tramp, Breakfast Over America. Yeah. It's a shit.

You know what I'm saying? Like, there's just certain albums that you have to have. Certain books. You're not a fan of that off of it, but they knocked it out of the, park on that particular. So I get, I don't like Sting as a human being. I have my issues with him. Really?

Yeah, but he broke up the world's greatest fucking trio. Yeah. Over his fucking ego. Yeah. You know, so him, there's like two or three guys, him and Roger Waters, when it comes to me, they fall into that. You ruined one of the greatest things. Pink Floyd

and the fucking police. Yeah. When it comes to music, a two of the greatest fucking genres. They're phenomenal. Yeah. And the thing is, it's so fucking hard. It takes a million things in the world to line up for a band to be super group. You know, you got to find, you got to meet each other.

Then you got to, you know, get into a studio, write songs, record. Then the people got to like you. And when it all happens and then one guy's like, I'm out of here, it's like, dude, you know how fucking hard it is to do that? We need that, you know? It's like a Mona Lisa. They don't come around every week. You know, I still remember going to see the police.

And what I remembered vividly, I saw the police early on. Yeah, same here. Early, like eighth grade type shit. And then I saw him again in 81 or something, 82. Right. Yeah, 82 ghost in the machine. Ghost in the machine. I saw them.

And what I can remember the most, and you hate to admit it to people. Yeah. Like you hate to say it because people think you're a fucking nerd. that Stuart Copeland, whatever his fucking name was. Yeah. He was hitting those drums. It's like missing persons. When you go see missing persons, she was hot.

She had those little bite-sized titties and whole thing. But what I remember is that little motherfucker, Basio, destroying those drums. Like, you could hear the drums. You're like, what's that feeling in my back? It's the fucking drums going through my spine. Yeah. It's such a great feeling when you go see a good drummer,

You don't know what a good drummer is until you go see that motherfucker live and he starts dropping this shit on you. So yeah, yeah. His drummer, Josh Freeze, you know, so I've known him for 35 years. And this guy is a monster player, man. Do yourself a favor and put in Josh Freeze nine inch nail drum videos. So he set up these drum cams when he was in nine inch nails. And your fucking hair is going to blow back off of the YouTube. video you're like that maxel guy

you know like oh fuck I mean that is how intense this guy is on the drums he is a monster man I love all that shit you know I loved I love the bands that I love you know like the Judas priests and Allison chains yeah we accept those

but then there's these other bands that you're not a huge fan of you just pay attention to them like I have my A band and I got my B-bands. Who might be bands? UFO. Yeah.

Fucking the pretenders. Ooh, yeah. The police. Yeah. B-52s are on a cusp. They're like first team, All-American, and the second team,

All-American. I just got them floating, like, in limbo. But I think they're great. There's so many little bands that you have like that. You too. You know,

just Fleetwood Mac. Oh, God. My favorite band. But if you put on rumors or Tusk or whatever the fuck, a Stevie Nick solo or Lindsay Buckingham solo, I'm in. I find it entertaining. It's not, I'm not losing my fucking mind over it, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't listen to it.

Like the other night, you know what made me call you the other night and put you on the podcast? What? I was listening to the fucking Supremes. Oh, man. You know? Oh. I didn't know.

Like, when I was a kid, my mom would listen to that music in the bar when she would play cards the Supremes were on and I don't know it's like yeah they were kick band whatever and then you hear him on the radio

and you're like whatever you know Motown but then you see like that documentary on Motown on the section and they wrote songs and you watch the fucking Rick James documentary he talks about working at Motown

and getting in there with Diana Ross and Steve TV Wonder, like when Stevie Wonder was on fire. And then when I was funny, you mentioned the Soprano. When I was in New York City one Sunday night, I worked, but I rapped early. And I went to my, you know, when you get to your hotel room, you know what to do, you turn the TV on, you throw the remote on the bed, and you start, you know, you jump in the shower, you get your sweats on, whatever.

I was watching Motown's tribute to Barry Gordy. Oh, yeah, killer. And Diana Ross was the host. I don't know what happened Like the show wasn't It didn't come out as planned So Diana Ross had to take over the show And I'll tell you what

She was singing and dancing And fucking fucking around And she actually sat on his lap And sang him a song And that's the first time I realized How fucking talented She really fucking was Oh man

But when you hear like Keep me hanging on Yeah Oh my God The fucking guitar on there. Her voice, her voice is of an angel in that fucking jam. I mean, she really has a great voice on there. It's, uh, I love talent. Oh, God. Yeah. Right. It's amazing when you watch somebody talented and you go, wow, that person is very fucking talented at what he's doing. Your dick gets hard.

My dick gets hard, you know. I mean, when you and I were in Detroit, we did that casino, know, I got up early and popped an Uber over to, you know, Motown to Hitsville there, USA, the historic house where they had the recording studio, it's just a little box. It's basically a garage. And you're like, whoa, this is where all those songs were recorded. And then next door is where they wrote them. It was like Hittsville, you know, and then they kept growing and they got another house next door to that where they taught the dance movie.

and then they got another house next to that where they made the outfits and everything. It was wild to see and the history in that place for me. And it was sold out. And I was like, oh, you understand. I do a huge podcast. I got to get in here. I got to see this.

And the lady rolled me in, man. It was great. Oh, man. You know, that David Rutherford, the temptations, that guy is a God to me. And I'll watch that guy. Garbage's little VH1 Temptations film every time it's on.

Five fucking hours. Five fucking hours when they stop at the woman's house and eat and she cooks for them and shit every time they're in town. I'm in. Just true. I watch it too. It's always on that champ. VH1. Yeah. It's always on VH1. It's on once

a week the temptations or the Jackson's. Yeah. And those dudes that played the guys were like when you look at it, you go like, oh, that's him. I mean, those guys killed it, those actors. Bro, the dude who played David Ruffin and not out of the park.

The dude who played Eddie Kendricks knocked it out of the park. I think, I got to be honest with you, like I love Black Sabbath, I love Led Zeppelin, I love Van Halen, but a powerful fucking group is the temptations.

Oh my God, the best. The temptations were fucking powerful. When you think about, when I think about powerful bands, I think about the temptations, there's one of the band that was just in the tip of my tongue. That's a soul band, like Ertwin Fire.

Oh, Erkent Fire. They put a show on that was fucking tremendous. And they were great musicians. And you go and you kind of fucking entertained. You're like, I was listening to Tate what I put on two weeks ago. And it was fucking phenomenal. The funk, the best of the Commodores. Oh.

On YouTube. And I just was riding something. I had shit to do. I had to send bills. And I put on the best of the, the Commodore's Brickhouse, all that shit, those songs he wrote that he gave to Kenny Rogers. I was thinking about that period with him, how hot he was. Hello.

Oh, is it me you're looking for? And the blind girls like, no, I don't see a dick. No, you're not supposed to see a dick. You're blind, cocks, sucker. I remember when I was taking singing lessons. That was the one that had me sing every week. You know, the old lady on the piano, she said, let's give this one a shout. again. I'll be, hello.

Is it me you're looking for? I'm all shy in sixth grade. If I wonder, well, you're known. You know, she's like, he was on fucking fire, too. Like, people really don't understand when musicians go on fire. Like, I was raised during Elton John's fire. Like, that motherfucker, him, it was like him versus Paul McCarthy when I was growing up. Paul will come out with a little love of,

songs fucking Elton John would say, take this cuck sucker, Philadelphia Freedom. John would turn, I mean, Paul McCartney would turn around with living, let die, and out and John would say, take this cuck sucker. Yeah. You know, your song, you know. Yeah.

And John was on fire when I was a fucking kid. Fire. And then people liked him. Then they found that he was gay. And people like, fuck that gay dude. And I'm like, fuck him is right. I'm going to keep listening to him. Give me the fucking albums.

I love, I got goodbye, y'all. Hello brick road from somebody. Masterpiece. He didn't want that album because he was gay. He's like, get this gay thing out of my house. I'm like, fucking sure. On a double funeral for a friend. Fuck.

I don't care if he's dead. No, I love Ellen John. I fucking love Elton John. I'm doing a whole, my whole 10 minute closer is about people who are homophobic or racist, but they'll watch football and go see Elton John. I'm like, fuck those people. You know what I mean?

No NBA finals for you ever. You know what I mean? I'm not racist or homophobic. When I see a gay guy singing, I fucking love it. I love all those gay dudes. I don't give it. What was the other guy when we were kids? I liked.

Freddie Mercury. Yeah, Freddie Mercury was bad to the bone. Listen, if you don't think I knew Rob Howford was gay from the first time I saw that motherfucker in November of 79, in other words, you got another thing coming. All right, because I. You grew up in the suburbs if you didn't know he was gay. That's all there's to it.

I fucking, when I saw Rob Hoffer was gay, I'm like, this motherfucker's gay. The first time I saw him, he had a whip in his hand. Yeah. Listen, there's two times when it's time to run. When you see a gay guy with a whip or you see a gay guy with a whistle, that means your assholes about to get busted, you understand me? So when I saw him with the whip, I was like, oh, my God. And I'm like, wait a second.

He ain't going to whip me with this fucking thing. Let me enjoy this show. I was dead by myself. And I remember going home going, yeah, he's gay. But that's got nothing to do with me. That's got nothing to do with me. I'm into his music. I'm not homophobic.

I don't give him if he's fucking gay. Sing it with that sperm bread. Remember we were kids? Everybody kept saying that Rod Stewart Oh, yeah. The stomach on the gay in San Francisco. Everybody had a friend that was there. Yeah.

My friend was in the hospital room when they brought fucking Rod Stewart and they pumped the stomach full of nine ounces of sperm. He blew eight guys. Get the fuck out of here. Then there was the one about Richard Gere that he was in the hospital. They took a mouse out of his ass in San Francisco. Where's the fucking affidavit?

Let me see the fucking affidavit. Let me see the mouse holding on to his nose. I know if I was a mouse and they put me up somebody's ass. I wish I had some fucking anti-COVID nose drips. I don't understand how something like that takes traction too. Because that fucking myth went across the world. I mean, that's way before. There's no internet.

you barely had a home phone and it was like dude you hear about Rod Stewart it wasn't on the radio the DJ didn't come in this in Rod just drank 12 ounces of sperm and he's getting his stomach but that it just you were at the locker and the guys like you hear about Rod last night at the Cal Palace

and you're like what oh yeah they had to pump his stomach like how did that fucking get traction Joey how did that get traction it went for years of fucking crazy and I got sick of it like I saw Richard Gia in the city and let me At the time when I saw Richard, I wanted to beat him up.

Because every chick I was in love with, wanted to suck Richard Gia's dick. They wanted nothing to do with me. So I had a personal vendetta for Richard Gia. And I saw him one night. I'm like, this is my night to kill him. But he had people around him and shit like that. And he didn't look gay.

And then I saw Office and a gentleman, I gave him a pass. I go, you know what? He's a good dude. Let me give him a pass. And me and Richard have been tight ever since. I've never met him, but we've been tight ever since. I got nothing against him. And I don't give a fuck if they found the mouse in his ass with Scott's tape on.

his fingers. What's that got to do with me and my love for his films? I don't give a fuck. One of my favorite TV, one of the funniest shows of all time was that gay show on NBC. Darmine Greg, whatever with the fucking chick. Is it Darmine Greg? I never saw that. The other one.

The other one. Darmine Greg was a long fucking time ago. No, the one on NBC and they just rebooted it. They brought it back. Oh, business and buddies? No. It wasn't fucking buddies. Remember that?

Yeah. Tom Hanks, he's from Boos and buddies and then becomes the biggest star in the world. Will and Grace. Oh, I never saw it. Oh, my God, that show is fucking funny. That little chick. All four of them are fucking funny.

But the two that are supposed to not be this. It's the only show where the two stars aren't funny. That's how we describe that show. The two fucking cats, members are hysterical the gay guy and the chick i got to work with the chick on that what was that show late night that i did mike children's hospital yeah oh yeah oh yeah i remember yeah i remember that yeah like a cartoon network yeah and i got to do like a mafia episode me the dude from the sports show with the rock henry winkler defons was there i got to spend the day with fonsie

Megan Malelli My episode was fucking fire Sal Ragusa from Lorraine and Shirley Whatever Laver and Shirley yeah It was fire my fucking episode It was just a 15 minute episode

I think I worked on it for three days And it was Christmas week Like we worked on it to the 24th So they threw like two days It was like the perfect job Like I was telling somebody before That my busy time Is after Thanksgiving

and before Christmas, that's when I do my best acting. If I'm going to act that year, I'll get my best auditions. And that was one year that came in like on the 18th of December. And I shot the 19th, 20th, straight to like the 23rd, 24th. And they said, for shooting, we're going to give you two extra days of production. I was like, dog, I can use this money. Looks like I'm snorting on New Year's Eve. Thank God.

And then I did another movie. I did that Dark Night promo. Oh, yeah. That was before Christmas. And when I wrapped, they had a Ralph Laurence suit on me or something. That was really nice. And I was eyeballing it to steal it.

Like, I'm like, I'm going to steal this suit for Christmas. Yeah. You know, fuck the Grinch. And I fucking, as I was taking the suit, I hung it up, I go, I'm not going to steal the suit. What's matter with me, Joey? You got to get away from that shit. And I walked out the door and he goes,

hey, man, do you want to buy the suit? And I go, how much for you? the suit and she goes we just bought it this morning give us $1,200. Wow. Whoa. And I go, can you take it on my check? And they were like, hold on. And they talked for like five minutes and they came back and they said, hey man,

he did a good job today. Merry Christmas. Wow. Killer. I still got the suit. It's fucking nine sizes too big. It was when I was 400 pounds. I don't think you could hem this. This got this like a curtain, Jack. There's no way you can have. We got to eBay that. Uncle Joey's suit.

Man, we get some money. I'm a fucking suit from Super Batman, the Dark Night and shit like that. It was a lot of fun, man. We'll get some money. But I've been having a lot of fun lately. I haven't taken guitar lessons in like three weeks. We've both been busy. He's got bad weeks.

I'm still playing the guitar. So what I started doing at night because I got bored with just playing the guitar by myself was doing what I did as a kid with an air guitar only with a guitar. Yeah, yeah. You know, like I put our song on. Like, my favorites, like I could actually play. a little bit of rotten apple. Oh, wow.

But not great. I could just do the rhythm section of it. So I'll play over the music and shit like that. But man, I've been getting discouraged lately. It's discouraging. Have you heard Kentrell's solo record that just came out? What I did here.

I thought it's fucking fire. I have not heard it at all, but I heard it's fucking fire. We have Brighton, man. Oh, what a great fucking record, dude. You know, I fall in love with Jerry Cantrell. He's great. Jerry Cantrell is one of those guys that keep sending you roses.

Yeah. But you kind of don't like them. You're like, oh, pass. You know, keep your fucking roses. Every week he sends you a dozen roses, and you're like, I'm not interested in this fucking guy, but I'll read the card. Then one week you read the card. One week you smell them.

One week you go, oh, what a pretty vase. You know, like there's all these fucking things that make you want. And then eventually, You know, after two years, you kind of like him. Like, I went to the North Bergen Carnival where I'm from. Yeah. And I saw the kid. He's a young kid, but he's the guy that turned me on to Allison Chains.

Wow. I was in Jersey doing comedy, and he came to one of the shows. And he's like, you know Allison Chains? I know, down in the hole. He's like, nah, you got to fucking do this. You got to do that. You got to listen to this. And I saw him at the corner of.

He was all grown up. And I'm like, hey, man, thank you for turning me on to Allison Chains. You get that exclusive fucking. God, you were the one that was like, take that fucking ACDC old man music off. Put on Allison Chains. I had like, let that be rock on or some shit. Grandpa Rock.

I hang out with his older brother. And he was like, take that shit off. You got to listen to Allison Chains. So he's the, I mean, I was into them. I was into Soundgarden. I lived in Seattle. Yep. I knew who Allison Chains was,

but they scared me because the waitress that giggles used to always invite me to go do heroin. up at Capitol Hill with a singer. Yeah, Lane. The singer, Lane, had like an open house. Like, you could just show up, put out your arm, and somebody would hit you with a fucking needle. I wanted to meet him in the worst way.

Like, I wanted to meet those guys, you know, Sound Garden, Pearl Jam. I saw Eddie Vedder one morning eating breakfast on Al-Qa-Qi. Yeah. Outside of a diner, he's eaten. But the glass is right there. No exaggeration. He must have had 400 people hitting on the,

glass. Oh. pushing other people. And he's sitting there just fucking laughing. And then he used to hang out with the pitcher. Rodney McDowell or one of those guys. Guy on the Mariners or something? I don't know if he was on the Mariners.

I forgot what team he was on. But when we used to hang out at the comedy underground, the comedy underground is downstairs from a bar. Yeah. And that's where all the baseball players hang out. That was a great, great fucking place. We used to do comedy because it was right. down a block from the stadium.

So the Seahawks would be in there and the Mariners would always be in there. I don't know how many nights I went in there and saw, you know, everybody upstairs, you know. Yeah. I love the Pacific Northwest, man. You know what, man? I'm not allowed back in there. Oh, fuck. I was just up there, dude.

I'm going back next week, the 11th and 12th. I'm doing Bend, Oregon and Portland, Oregon. And, you know, I love it up there. got something up there. I go up there. It's got a calming effect. Well, I heard somebody was just in Portland. The last two weekends or three weekends. Yeah. And they made some comments how rough the city is now. And there's some craziness going on downtown, you know, in the city of Portland. But I got to be honest with you. I cut my comedy teeth in Oregon. You know, I went from Boulder to Seattle. And Seattle is Washington. So you do comedy in the

surrounding states. And I'll tell you, man, Bend is a fucking tremendous town. It's second only to Boulder. Wow, really? Yeah, you haven't been to Bend? No. Bend is baby Boulder.

Whoa. Bend is where everybody from Boulder went. Once it got too creepy and Boulder, like Boulder still has that essence, but not really. Like money has taken over it. You know, they don't give a fuck about the hippies anymore. Yeah.

But Bend, Oregon. Ben Dorrigan has a coffee shop that they do comedy at. Yeah. Fucking music. They got everything in there. I can't wait to go. They got the last blackbuster there. It's still open.

Did you see that? There's a documentary on it. It's still up. Some lady, I guess, owns it and still license the name. And it's the last blockbuster. So I shot the thing. I saw the thing. I was like, get the fuck out of that blockbuster and come down and see some comedy, man.

This ain't the 80s. You know what I mean? Blockbuster. Blockbuster is still up in Portland. One in Bend. The last one in Bend. I guess the documentary is called the last Blockbuster. I haven't seen it yet, but I need to see that for comedy.

Take a look at it. I love Bend. I love Grants Pass. Yeah. Fucking Astoria, Oregon. I've been to when we, Ashland, Oregon. Ashland, Oregon is where they do the Shakespeare Festival every summer or all summer long. So the hotel does comedy once a week.

and they don't put TVs in the hotel room. That's great. You're just sit in the hotel room. You're like, what the fuck's going on? And if you call the front desk, you're like, listen, man, I got up to my room and there's no TV in here. The people will say, we don't put TVs in the room. But if you want one, come down and get one.

They have the little prison ones, like the one I had in prison, the little black and white ones with four channels and an AM radio next to it. They have that. So you've got to watch TV like on a little, I ate the biggest bag of dicks in Ashland, Oregon. like one of those life-saving sets that you're thinking about getting a job at Subway

when you get off the stage. Oh, yeah. I used to fucking do comedy all over Oregon when I lived in Seattle. You got to drive down there, and it's great. I loved it. Portland. Portland's a great city. I love Portland.

It became, like, Portland was a sleepy city, and the last 10 years, they really picked it up. You and I did that helium up in Portland. Great. I fucking loved that room. is great management, great food. That's the first time. I'll be honest with you guys here.

I had ranch dressing. Joey, Joey, their ant's dress hater. Oh, shit. You got to come clean with the peeps. You got to come clean. Look, you heard it here first. Let me tell you something.

I'm a stoner guys. Yeah. And I react to whatever I smoke. You ready for this, Mike? These motherfuck. Let me tell you this story. It's in between, no, it's like the feature actor's up. So I'm saying, I could walk out.

Like when the feature actor is out, everybody, nobody's paying attention. So I'd go for a walk. So I would smoke a joint. And then so I wouldn't get anxiety. That's the first club ever that me smoking put on the alarm. Set off the fire alarm. They were not even pissed. Oh, my God, the lights were going whoop, whoop.

Felicia Michaels was on stage. She goes, I don't know what to do. here. They were fucking... And the fire department came back and they're like, what the? Jesus Christ, stop smoking that shit. Even they were cool. They were like, don't worry about it.

But I went out in the hallway one day and they have a table out there where the waitresses put food down as like a barrier in between the people that you're bringing the food to... It's expedited there. And then she takes them from there. So I'm walking out. I'm high

as fuck. Okay, this is what you get for being a So if you're a cock sucker, knock it off. I was walking by the table. I'm stoned to the gills. I got like a thousand milligrams of edibles in me. And I looked down and what do I see? Tater tots.

Oh, shit. Like a dish full of tater tots with like a turkey sandwich. Perfect. It was a turkey sandwich with that Gouda cheese, would it melts? Oh. Oh, yeah. And I looked at it. And I'm like, I looked around for cameras and shit.

And I'm like, fuck it. I'm clipping this. And I picked up. This had it be four. or five years ago. I practiced not to be a thief, but from time to time, I got to work the muscle because it's there.

I picked up the tater tots, and I took it. In the green room, they have a bathroom. So actually, I was so high that I thought they were going to find me, so I went in the bathroom and started eating the tater tots, dipping them in this red, it was a red sauce, and the red sauce is delicious, and I'm high, and I'm not even dipping one. I'm getting four at a time.

and dipping them in the sauce. I got sauce all over my fingers. I got sauce all over my face. And the next thing, you know, the waitress comes in. And she goes, oh my God,

I've been looking for those. Did you take those? I go, I don't know. Somebody just put them in here. Someone put them in here. By mistake. And I thought there were the other headline.

She goes, I don't worry about it. She goes, can I ask you a question? What did you think of the ranch dressing? And I go, ranch dressing. I go, that's not ranch.

Because it was red. She goes, it's a sracha ranch. Wow. Oh, Saracha Ranch. I love that. It was fucking delicious. Yeah.

Delicious. You're like, you're like on that scene on Barfly where, where, where, uh, Mickey Roar gets the sandwich and the guy goes, he's like a goddamn seagull. He goes to a sandwich. I love that fucking film. Look, I have watched three thousand movies over the pandemic. Yeah. New and old. And I was just thinking about that movie.

The adept. Listen. they have played everything the last two years on TV except two movies. Yeah. I sit there every night waiting for two movies. Barfly, an apocalypse now. Oh, fuck.

They have not played that. For the last two weeks at night, I was so happy because I was sitting there and I had my choice between the Wolf of Wall Street or Boogie Nights. Are you fucking kidding me or what? I watched Boogie Nights, three nights in a fucking row I watched at one time, Because I couldn't catch the beginning.

You know how we are with the temptations? You keep missing the beginning. You're like, God damn it. I always catch it when he fucking is fucking the first chick, the redhead. Right. The chick that played in Hannibal. So finally one night last week, I saw it was coming on at 10. And I got to watch the beginning when he went home and his mother beat him up.

And he showed him his cock and she goes, get out. Yeah. Buggy Nights is God, man. Talking boogie nights. And somebody just telling me they read somewhere that years, later, Walberg says he hopes, he wishes he never did that movie. Bert Reynolds. Bert Reynolds said that.

He hated that role and it brought him back. I didn't understand that. I didn't get it. Yeah. That was, you know, Bert Reynolds, I think he was up for an Academy Award on that film. He killed. Fucking Bert Reynolds.

Every time I watch him in that boogie nights, I think of one thing. I think on the longest yard when I would be out there about six in the morning by my self, I was smoking a number. and Bert would come out with a hat on with like the prison jacket that they were in the prison with his hands in there and he would walk

because it would be like cool in the morning he would come up to me and go, what are he doing? What are he doing? What are he looks like? I'm fucking doing. And he would go, let me see, let me smell it.

And I would just put it up to his lips and he would go, and he would walk away. I don't think he got high. Like, he never got high. He was too old and he's been there, done that, that fucking guy. He didn't give him fuck.

He was great. He was great. He was a great old man. He really was. When I looked at him that first time in the longest shot, I'm like, I hope when I'm that old, I'm that fucking cool. He was strong. He threw me around one day like a fucking, like a doll.

Whoa. There's a scene in the longest shot where he's throwing me around. And that was real. He was, I couldn't even control myself. I couldn't fucking breathe. He had me by the helmet and shit, and he's fucking face masking me. I thought I was like a dead. Hart Reynolds, dude.

I love deliverance. Oh, my God. Come on. Oh, my God. That's such a wild fucking movie. Oh, it makes you scared of banjo. You hear banjo, you just run. I know of the first time I saw that.

I was a little disturbed. Yeah. I'm not going to, I think I saw that movie a little too young. You know what I'm saying? I was just a tad. I saw The Exorcist as a young man. Yeah. I saw a bunch of movies.

as a young man, but that movie, there's a couple movies that disturb me. I still love the movies. You know, death wish, the rape scene disturbs me. You know,

I don't have time to analyze all the fucking movies that disturb me. But listen, when a movie disturbs you, that's good. Yeah. When something disturbs you,

when it gives you that reaction, that's not the reaction that you want, but it's a reaction. Yeah. It's like when I listen to merciful fate, you know, King Diamond, the first time,

I was like, this is scary, man. I was actually like, I think this is real Satan music because I was young, you know? He comes on, no, you're like, whoa, shit. I haven't heard that shit in years. First time I put that, somebody put it on for me one time and I was done. I think it was in Silver Lake, the home of that shit. Yeah.

That's where they invented that fucking music in Silver Lake. Silver Lake Devil Rock. I'm telling you, after they killed fucking Sharon Pate, they fucking sat down, Charles Manson in the quartet and made that fucking killer. rock how great did you watch that uh it was on again last night and i put it on i was trying to write something on the computer and i put it on and turned the volume off on it and it was talking about that that part that rick james had moved he was a young musician he moved to california with his wife yeah at the time and his first party was he got an invite to charon tate's house the night that

charles manson killed her he was supposed to be at that party but he had a headache He told his wife he was going to lay down the next day they woke up. And they saw that Manson had killed all those motherfuckers. God rest their soul, I shouldn't even call them motherfuckers either. I went to see Duncan one time. And on the way out, he goes, can I show you something? I go, yeah, he goes, come on, I'm going to show you the Sharon Tate House. I nearly shipped my pants when he lived up there.

He lived like a block away from where they did it. I guess they rebuilt the house and they changed the address. Yeah, they changed the numbers. on door. So if it was like 26 Mockingbird Lane, it became like 33 Mockingbird Lane. They just did away with the address and everything, which, you know.

Yeah, you know, fucking, uh, I believe that dude that created like all those big shows like full house or one of those, he, he lives there now. In that, Manson, where they Yeah, up there. He built a house up there and, uh, you know, it's got crazy views

and everything. Pretty wild. Forget the shows he created the full house and something else. But yeah, he said that on the anniversary every year, this weirdos out front, you know, like just out there. I was like, wow, weird. That's fucking nuts. Yeah, yeah. People still kind of go out there.

And you know what's even nuttier that people buy, like if you go up Laurel Canyon, who's the guy that lived right there, that somebody lives in his house? and he was not one of those fucking creepy guys from the 50s or 40s, that was his house. Before you hit that little grocery store on Laurel Canyon, before you hit cold water up on top, there's that little grocery store.

Ralphie Mae used to get the turkey sandwiches from to like $30 a piece. Yeah, yeah. Your big turkey sandwiches there. Right there, because you could take that side street to meet you up at the top of that. Yep. That estate.

And years ago, what happened was I went to meet. somebody there for a meeting like a pitch deal and I walked in they had to buzz me in it was a fuck it was called paramount management wow and they were renting a section out of that house it's one of those creepy magicians oh yeah fucking Houdini Houdini yeah it's Houdini's house so the people bought it and they said that he had a bunch of escape routes in there and fucking you open up a room a bunch of pigeons fly out there that fucking didn't make it to the hat.

Yeah, I always heard that shit like underground tunnels to go across the street and shit. He has a bunch of creepy shit over there. And listen, when you get that much money, you know, it's like when who was the dude who lived in the hotel in Vegas? Oh, Howard Hughes. Howard Hughes, you know, those fucking dudes, they become so eccentric and they stay in. Yeah. Like they fucking stay in with one of those smoking jackets on. And they just think of ways, it's like when you put a kid in the time out, it's a waste of time.

because he's thinking about things to be bad. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's the same thing with him. They sit in that house. They got so much money. And all they think about is fucking, you know, destruction or whatever the fuck they think about.

So building tunnels and sacrifice and midgets, whatever the fuck is in the agenda for that week. Axel Rose style, man. You never see that guy. He's just step in his pad, man. You never see him out. He's not like, hey, Axel was at the movies or Axel went to a show this weekend or nothing. You just don't see that. guy, you know, there's dudes that don't go out. It's a trip. You know, like I was thinking about

Alex Van Halen in my entire life of being out every night in Los Angeles, concerts, backstage, comedy shows, restaurants, everything. I have never, ever seen Alex Van Halen once, which is wild, you know? Did you see Eddie a lot? I saw him here a couple times, like at Heaven and Hell concert, the Sabbath, Heaven and Hell. And I saw him. saw him at like NAM show or something, but never ever saw Alex, you know, it was wild. Like he never jams with anybody. You know, nothing. It's, it's, it's, uh, an interesting, uh, he must be like, kind of like real private and

introvert or something, you know, you know, it's pretty weird that I've spoke like, you don't see a lot of people out. There's people. When you do what we do for a living, you're out at night. You're out. You're out. In the daytime you're creating, you're using your creative juices, whatever the fuck, but at night, you're out.

I think it comes to an age, like, I've read a ton of music books, like about bands. I really like when they talk about tours on their bands, you know? Yeah. You know, I got Black Sabbath, I got fucking Zeppelin, you know. I got all these books about music, and what I enjoy the most when they talk about is touring. Yeah.

I really like the touring. the touring styles, you know. I remember reading books and you feel like a fucking loser. Like these bands would do a minimum, a minimum of a year away from home. Yep. Nobody cried. Nobody missed their kids. Nobody missed their wife.

Nobody missed nobody. Nobody missed fucking nobody. Now who goes out for a year straight? No one. No one, you know. Guns just went out for nine weeks. It seemed like fucking two. years they were doing three shows a week yeah but think about it who fucking goes out for a year

anymore yeah that's crazy right crazy i remember when g and our you know appetite hit i think they were out for three years three years three years three years three years three years but you're young you're stupid they throw them money at you you filled the fucking come right yeah yeah you know it's your first three years, you know, they did, they did those welcome. I'm gonna tell you something. For me, like, as far back as I could remember bands, like, yeah, you heard, I heard rumors of Led Zeppelin. You know what I'm saying? Like, I never saw them on TV, but I still remember Guns and Roses, like, winning a Grammy or something. Yeah.

And being, like, at an award show, and they were fucking lit. Oh, yeah, I say that, but they got there like, yeah, yeah. They were fucking hammered. And I bet when they walked off that stage and when they went home, they were so fucking happy that they did that. But years later,

they saw a video of that and they were like, what the fuck were we thinking? We were young, dumb, and full of cum, and we went there and we fucking, you know, got hammed. We drank everything. And the same thing goes with comedy. Listen, my, you got to remember, let's be honest. You know, I don't want to be a hypocrite.

From 91 to 2007, when I went on the road, it was to do cocaine. Yeah. I mean, you were the fucking my lion tag. Yeah, it was great. I was getting better as a comic. But it was the fucking party. Look at the evolution of all these bands. Look at guns.

They start out like fucking killers. Duff lost, his kidney exploded or his liver exploded. Pankreous, yeah. Pankreous exploded. fucking, I don't know, what's his name, don't like dope, slash light dope,

but you know what, today they go out and they drink water. Yeah, yeah. You know, and they exercise, and they make time to bring a kickboxing coach

with them. And that's what we were doing when we were touring at the end. Yeah. Like when I was touring at the end, I was trying to keep it as healthy as nobody was drinking. You know,

it wasn't when I got into comedy. When I got into comedy, it was still, I'm not going to name, many names, but there was 30 comics that were actively partying on the road, doing coke, drinking, fucking bitches, whatever. Now,

there's nobody really doing coke on the road. Now, now it's a business now. There's no room for it. There's no room for it. I knew when I was out there at the level I was doing it with the theaters, I couldn't even consider. I haven't touched it in 14 years, about to be 15 years.

Wow. this month. Wow. Is it? No, 14 years. 2007. Wow. Wow.

Yeah, it's 14 years. It's November 15th or something like that. Yeah. That's crazy, man. Yeah. I mean, you know, it, comedy exploded. And the business was always around. And, you know, you'd see a couple of guys still dabbling around.

And they're out there on the patio talking to somebody from Netflix all, ah, ah, ah. and they're like, ooh, okay, yeah, right on. And they walk away like, fuck, that. You're still getting a fucking high. Yeah. Like, you're still getting high. It's 2021. I couldn't even imagine.

Still fucking calling Mike to pick me up so we go get a package up in Jersey City. Yeah. I couldn't even imagine. I couldn't even imagine what I fucking feel like right now. You know? No way. do blow right now man i i'm at the gym i'm eating clean i want to live you know i was i was

talking to somebody a couple days ago i want to live like 30 more years i want to see how this planet ends you know i don't fucking know i don't know about that uh yeah i never leave the movie early you know that joy that's horrible i don't know how this is going to end, but it's not looking too fucking good. I don't even think Santa's going to come this year because he's got no vaccination. He's got no vaccine card, so he's not going to be allowed

to fuck out this year either. Poor fucking bastard. When does he have time to go get a vaccine, that fat fuck? What's he going to do? I mean, think about it. I don't know where this is going to end. I was telling somebody earlier today that it's been very quiet lately.

It's been very quiet. You could tell it's the quiet before the storm. Yeah, something's coming. Something's brewing. The last big thing we had was Chappelle, and it came and went. James Bond, came and went.

The many cents, came and went. Everything came and went. It's just been really quiet since Chappelle. They're all talking about the movie, Russ. Did Alec Baldwin do it? Yeah. Did Alec Baldwin do it? What the fuck is going on?

Everybody's talking about Rust, but nobody's thinking about what? Look at Monday what happened with New York City. They let all the fire department, the cops, and whatever people, garbage people. So they got a whole gap over there. I don't know how they could be letting people go. You know, I mean, at the end of the day, it's your fucking body. Whatever you want to do with it, do it.

If you want to put the vaccine in it, go, if you don't, fuck you too. You know, I don't give a fuck what people do. Like, I don't get a fuck. And I'm talking to people and like, you know what, we ain't getting a fucking boo. They already got us for two shots. And if we give us this booster, that means every six months. We're going to have to go back in for a fucking shot until you die from this fucking thing. So I ain't mad at anybody.

I just want everybody to be fucking happy, listen to music, smoke your pot, do what you got to do, and go see Dean Delray. That's it. Yeah. Come see me. Bend, Oregon, and Portland. Do it. You know, I was thinking about you the other day how lucky of a comic you really fucking are. because we did some great work together.

Oh, great. But we were doing like mid-range stuff, you know, like Chicago Dita, and then you go out with Burr, and you get the chance to do arenas and fucking red rocks and all these fucking different things. And then you're you,

so you got a chance to do comedy clubs and bars and, you know, hallways and bowling alleys. So you have all the realms covered, you know, you go out with Marin, you do a couple mid-range theaters like I was doing. You have it great, Dean. I'm so fucking happy for you. I'm happy.

you're still living in the same apartment. You haven't moved. You broke your own record. You haven't moved in two years. In two years, Dean used to move eight times. It was funny. I did red rocks with Burr. I always say he did red rocks.

I was there. And then the next day, I headlined in Ventura to, I think 12 people on a Monday night. And it's like, hey man, you got to fucking do it all. You know what I mean?

not my crowd. I was just a visitor and was lucky enough to do some comedy in front of those people. But I'm out there just trying to pick them off one at a time, you know, and I know you and Burr and Marin, these guys are all 30-year men, you know, it's it doesn't happen overnight. Some people get frustrating. I'm out of here. Another, it's like, well, you know, I love doing comedy. So whatever it is, I just, I just need the clubs to let me, to book me. And then, you know, I'll be in heaven because then I can do comedy all the time. That's all I need. I'm doing the work.

I just need somebody to hire me. I put a name in for you a couple weeks ago. Girl called me. I don't want of the clubs. Great lady. You know who she is. And I told her you were out there to put you up. So she called me a few days ago.

In fact, it was after I spoke to you and you were telling me about your situation out of the clubs that they're giving you a hard time and uh she said she would contact you for the that's killer last quarter she might have a little fall on december for you so i'm down i'm over here trying to brother i appreciate what you're doing i miss you i miss you big time man we got to get out on the stage together again man listen man i'm just for right now i'm just leaving it open yeah i don't know what i'm coming back i don't know what i'm feeling i'm healthier i feel a lot better than i did So one of these nights, I'm going to be sitting in this fucking living room downstairs. I'm going to go, you know what?

I'm going out to do comedy. And everybody will hear about it. I just don't know when that's going to be, but I'll keep you posted. That's so great. I can't wait, dude. I can't wait to see you, man. Hey, and you do look fantastic. And you got the best hair in comedy.

Look at that perfect head of hair. But I got to go get a cut today. I'm not shooting anything, which is good. So I don't have to color it. So I want my natural color to come back. back fucking white. Yeah. And cocaine white.

That's my hair color. Cocaine white. Cocaine white. Cocaine white. And that's it, man. I'm just trying to put the, I'm trying to age gracefully. Yeah.

With no stresses and no fucking dramas. And I'm doing okay. So, but it's always great seeing you. It's always great to talk to you. And I'm going to strap a pair on one day and go get some tacos 1976 with you. Oh, God. I can't wait. and we all miss you at the comedy store big time man you still go to 76 all the time

and what's that you're still getting two tacos a day keeps the doctor away dude i go to 1986 86 like it like it's a dealer you know what i mean a ride around two each day i go oh god i got to get a taco and i had his head right over there man i bring gerty the dog she sniffs around for ground scores some fucking dropped uh carni Asada. Fucking Carni Asada over there is good. I haven't even, the Mexican food here is terrible. Oh, yeah.

I went to two places. Terrible, but there's a place down in Freehold. I'm going to check out next week when I go to the doctor's office. Dean Delray, I love you. You need something you call. I love you, dude. So much. You're the greatest.

Thank you for your time. Thank you for being my definite guest every 90 days. It's you and Rudy. Oh, yeah. I've had you on 90 days on any podcast I did. I got to have you. I miss you. I miss you.

Say a lot of Bill for me and Mark and the crew. And we'll talk in the next couple days, buddy. Candles lit. Stay black. All right, you bad motherfuckers. I hope you enjoyed my little Te-Tote with Dean Del Rey. We got off the subject. We did a couple fucking crazy things,

but it was just a Wednesday morning podcast for you motherfuckers. Thank you very much for all the support you give us. Thank you for supporting Dean Delray on his Patreon and whatnot. You guys have been great to Dean. And I can't tell you, great you've been to me. I'm over here staring at this freezing bomb going, Jesus Christ, that's a fucking monster. If you want a bong, like I said, freeze pipe cocksuckers, listen, I want to thank everybody. I want to thank you guys for watching and for always being

in my corner. I want to thank the ice cream shop for supplying us with the best weed on the fucking planet. Laughing gas. You know, Packwood's got the fucking blunt that's killing motherfuckers. You do what you need to do. I love your coxswain. Suckers, have a great weekend. I'll be back Monday morning, Tip Top Magoo. And now for a word from my motherfucking sponsors, Jack. What's happening, you bad motherfuckers?

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