The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - 11/28/2012 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #34

Episode Date: November 30, 2012

Hey Guys. Joey and Lee talk about Angus Jone's comments and how Joey feels about content on tv. You might be surprised to hear what he has to say. They also talk about Joey's Go Daddy commercial and the commercial process, and finally we have a surprise visit from Joey's wife. Guest Tim Donaghy calls in to talk about his time as an NBA ref and what led to him being sent to jail for betting on games. This podcast is brought to you by Onnit.com Use the promo code CHURCH for a discount. Streamed live on 11/28/2012

finger what's happening beautiful people kick that shit Lee don't lower we talk over the fuck this is money by pink floyd you gotta be a fucking savage to lower that shit good morning money money welcome to the church of what's happening now your host Joey Cocoa Diaz your main man Lee Syatt the flying Jew over here listen to fucking money and he lowers it like hit it Lee what it's a fucking ghastly that me Go, Lee, come on, baby. A new car caviar.

What? Maybe think about the football team. What? What's that I register? Oh shit. Kick it, Lee. What's happening? Beautiful?

I feel great, man. It's a beautiful Wednesday morning, November 28th. It's a beautiful day to be alive, and the beauty is you can do it all the fuck you want to do today because it's that type of day. Sons are fucking anarchy last. night we got one more episode. I mean, this fucking year went fast on

Suns Anarchy. And what they do is they do like an hour and a half, they curse. They're talking about sucking dick on there, shooting people, but I think they lower the season. I think there was like 11 episodes or something like that. But I'll tell you what, it took some great twist. You know, I watch Suns of Anarchy every week. I like it.

And I was telling somebody in Arizona, when I was in Arizona last week, I go look up. Let me be as long as I can with you. I see a lot of holes in Suns of Anarchy. Like there's a lot of little TV holes, but that's in every show. Yeah, there's a team of this holes in every show. But for the most part of it entertains me. I get entertained for an hour.

I like, I don't want to see nobody but a modern family. I want to see somebody get stabbed and shot, and some hook is getting shot in the fucking leg. That's what's in my mind. That's a free show in my mind. So that's what I want to fucking watch. And I'll tell you what, Jack's Teller, he's a great character. He fucked up Clay Morrow last night.

But Clay Morrow ain't out of it yet. That's why this fucking show, Clay Morrow's never out of it. Danny Trejo, who plays machete, is great in this. Oh, is he in that full time? Yeah, he's the cartel. Holy shit. The black guy, Damon Pope. And I didn't really think that he was going to give Tegan to Damon Pope

because that's a deal they made in prison when they killed Opie's character. But it's really gone from one extreme to another this year. And it's just sad that it's the last episode is December 4th. That's a big Cuban holiday, Chung Go's birthday and shit. So I got to be home Monday night early and light a candle at midnight for this fucking. What's Chungo? Chango's like a big god in Cuba. You know, Cuba's as a Catholic country.

Uh-huh. So they celebrate the gods. The whole fucking country is Cuban. They got a few Jews. You know, they show up with an envelope where you are, right? You know, a lot of people don't know a lot of little things about Cuba. You know, I always talk about the bond between the Irish and the Cuban, the Battle of the Boyn, 1680, whenever, when a lot of people went down to Cuba. A lot of Irish went down to Cuba.

That's why there's so many Cuban-Irish people. I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's fucking weird. like the first big Chinatown was in Cuba until like 1950-something. You know, there was more Cadillacs in Cuba in 1957 than what there were in the United States.

Did you know? That's a one-known fucking fact. 1957, 1958, there was more Cadillacs than that fucking island than what they were in the whole United States. That's an amazing fucking fact. Why is that? Because everybody was slinging dick gangster style, dog.

You know, when you talk to a Cuban guy, an old-school Cuban guy, all they know is Cadillac. They don't know Porsche or, you know, their dream was to come to the United States and get a Cadillac. Okay. That's what it was to be successful in Cuba. A fucking Cadillac. This is when Detroit meant something.

A fucking Cadillac. When you came in the 60s and you got the Cadillac, next time you're looking for a car or whatever, you got another dude. Just look for a Cadillac, a 1968, Electra 225, and go look at it. And touch the metal on this car. Look at the seats. Look at what luxury was and what success. was in this country dirty, 40 years ago

was a fucking Cadillac, bro. There's a funny line in Scarface when they go, it's a Cadillac when she won't get in the car. Do you remember? It's a Cadillac. Like, she's supposed to fucking jump. That's part of the white generation.

They want Porsches. But the old school motherfuckers, to them success life, meant a Cadillac. When did your parents come here? I don't think I ever asked you that. They came over like in the fucking 50s, early 50s, late 40s.

You know, my mother got into a beef. over my aunt, Rosita, and some guy tried to rape her when she was 15, the 16. So the story on the street is my mother stabbed them. They got her out of the country, and then she came back years later under a different name.

And when she got back into the States, it wasn't like 9-11. That name stayed. Jesus. So that was her alias. Her alias was Sophia Cecilia, who was her, in reality, was her bookmaking partner's mother,

Puerto Rican woman that used to come over every Saturday. Alain Iron at our house. Oh. That's why I'm naming my daughter, Sophia. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, Sophia. Mercy's, a middle name, which is something to do with Terry's family, but it's funny because

Mercedes is a big god in Cuba also, so I want a name of that, and without even knowing, my wife named to that. So it's really fucking interesting. Yeah, so they have a huge Chinatown in Cuba. You know, Columbus said that Cuba was the pearl of the fucking, of the West, whatever the fucking called the, whatever.

It's a beautiful place at that time. You know, they have a big Jewish population. You know, if you go to Miami, that just didn't start

right there. That's been going on for years. The Jewish know the Cubans are good people and that's been going on for years. But anyway,

they got no fucking Cubans on Sanzaniki. I got to get on there next year. But the fucking beauty of it, it has taken some great turns this year.

And if you don't watch the show, watch the fucking show. And the good thing about Sonsz Ankees is they don't hire fucking pussies. You know,

Like this year they had some guy that killed the lady and tore a cat apart with his hands. He's the one. You know, Sons Anarchy always hire some weird things. But they don't hire like this fucking, this little Christian kid for fucking two and a half men. Which, listen, let me tell you. Let me be as honest as I can with you. I never watched the show. Me either.

And when they made a big stink about it, I put it on. And I could not believe how dirty the show was. Is it really? Yeah, for an eight o'clock show. There's a lot of sexual innuendos. And I'm thinking to myself, look at all these fucking hypocrites. You know, look at all these fucking hypocrites that, you know, will come to my show and say the show's dirty.

This is an 8 o'clock show. And ladies and gentlemen, this is what pisses me to fuck off. Like when people say, I got offended at your show, that's great. You're a fucking pussy. But let me tell you what offends me. When I'm watching 8 o'clock TV and let's pretend my niece is here and she's 11, and I got to explain what the fuck they're talking about. That insults the shit out of me.

when I watch a condom commercial at 7 fucking 15. You ever see that commercial? Really? That upsets you? Oh my God, because I'm thinking that there's a bunch of 11-year-olds that don't know what the fuck's going on. And now you just raised awareness on something. And if they're 11, they could be 8. They could be 7, just like I was.

Yeah, I thought that show was like a laugh track stupid comment. I didn't know that was... You know, and I like Charlie Sheen, don't get me wrong. And I never watched it with Ashton Coucher. But I will tell you that when I watch it with Charlie Sheen, I mean, he slings dick on the show. That's what his show. I don't know what the other guy is.

The other guy's a gay guy trying to be straight. I don't know what the fuck he's trying to be. But I know the show isn't like, you know, family affair, like the shit I grew up on. You know, it's a little on the edge. It's right down the cutting edge. But this kid's been on the show since day one. So he's got to be a multimillionaire off this fucking show already, correct? Yeah, they're saying, I mean, I know it goes up every year, but as of right now,

he's making $365,000 a week. $360,000 a week. You get on that show, you shut your fucking mouth. And if the half-gay guy asks you to suck his dick, you suck. you suck it out of principle for $360,000 fucking dollars. Yeah, he's 19. 19. He went on, he's hanging out with these fucking Christians, a little black guy. Another guy that's fucking confused.

He's another fucking yam that probably rides a skateboard with tight pants, and he forgets he's fucking black. If you're going to be black, be beautiful. Like my man fucking, what's his name, Leroy, neck bone? He's fucking black, but he's beautiful and he's fucking proud. You don't give a fuck. If you're going to be black and black, they sit there behind, oh, well, I'm a Christian.

You're fucking black, cock-sucker. it out. You're fucking black. Get your shit together. And you got this little fag with the glasses on. I'm talking about how the show is doing. That's backbiting. I've never lied. I would have fired his ass right off to fucking spot and replace him a little half of Chinese kid or something that got hit in the head

with a fucking hammer like this fucking MoMo did. You know, you're paying him all that money. You want us to talk about that shit, say it later. But people don't know how hard it is to be on TV. Like, as an actor point of view, it is what it is. You're looking for a fucking job. But as a comic point of view, like,

People don't really know what happened with what's his name. The guy that was on Comedy Central. You know, the guy that had the show that they gave him $50 million, Dave Chappelle. Yeah. You're supposed to know this shit, Lee. This is your fucking life. I didn't know if you're talking about Tosh or who you have. Yeah, Tosh.

I'm talking about Dave fucking Chappelle. By the way, Joe Rogen gave me a shout out on Daniel Tash. I woke up this morning. I had a thousand things on Twitter. Facebook people taped it for me. What the fuck, people. Get your shit together. But, you know, what were we talking about the little fucking half a fag.

Moba, Chappelle, you know, when you're a stand-up comedy, and I talked to Tim Allen about this once I had an open for him in Vegas, and when you're a stand-up comedy, you know, you do all these different fucking things, and you write and whatever, and sometimes you might have a line, I might come over and you can go lead.

Don't say that line, say this line, and all of a sudden it works, and you're like, Joey, that was fucking great, thank you. We've been doing this for a long time. Okay. And what happens is this. We have respect for people, but I don't have respect for a 22-year-old college student

that just got out of Syracuse and walks over to me and tells me not to say that line. Yeah. I've been doing comedy for 20 fucking years, okay? And I don't know a lot about anything, but I also watched the honeymooners. And I also grew up on the Yacht Cup

when I grew up in the Twilight Zone. I grew up on Benny Hill. That's as good as it gets in American television. I also grew up on the American television. I also grew up on Santh and Son. I also grew up on Cheek on the Man. And I also had Bonanza in there.

So for you motherfuckers who think I'm just talking on the fucking line here, I've been watching phenomenal sitcoms, especially the honeymooners. Fucking especially. The rewriters wrote that in Jackie Gleason. Jackie Gleason hate to fucking rehearse. Watch the honeymooners.

Watch those episodes when he has to take the train to the raccoon convention and he handcuffs myself to Norton. You know, that's genuine fucking comedy then. I watch these TV shows today, and I giggle a little bit. They're interesting. They don't take me to where I need to be. I mean, I don't know what the fuck happened at Dexter. I love fucking Dexter the first two seasons.

I don't even... My wife asked me a day. What? Are this the last season of Dexter? I hope so. The sister knows he's a fucking murderer But These kids come up to you and tell you what lines to say

And what to do And it really eats away at people When you're on a TV set sometimes You get fucking aggravated Like I was fucking aggravated When I shot the last TV show I'm not gonna tell you what it was Because the director kept blasting Bruce Springsteen

Born to be fucking wild Whatever I wanted to shoot myself in the fucking head And I even went to one of the 80s And I said what the fuck is this shit With this Bruce Springsteen shit Sorry about that Anyway, I want to give a shout out to my sponsors

This show as usual Always brought to you by onit.com Go to on it Take a look at their products Especially this fucking protein It's almost empty The hemp force with 16 grams of protein And 11 grams of fucking

But on top of that it tastes phenomenal It's like eating a fucking shake In an outberg or something And this I started going to kickboxing class And this fucking strong bone See it's got a combination That everybody else has You go buy it a fucking cheaper

triptophan, like sycoline and gluscamine, whatever. You could go buy it fucking cheaper somewhere else. I bet you can't, but not the stuff that comes in here, not the stuff that he's added in here. Go to Strongbone, go to Onnet.com, order Strongbone, order Shroom Tech Sport, and get your fucking workout on because December 31st is coming on. Don't wait till that.

Start fucking now. So January 1st, you're at the gym doing jumping jacks. All the other fat fucks are coming in looking at you for guidance. You follow him, Zanthia? Start your little workout. Go to Omit, they got mixed and match patches. You can buy Strongbone. You could buy hemp protein and hemp force.

And you could also buy a Shroom Tech sport just to get the party started. And throw new mood in there. So when you wake up in the morning, you're in a good mood, like Uncle Joy. Like right now I'm fucking ready to go. Even when Lee said to me, goes, dog, what times do you wake up? I got home from the Laugh Factory. I ate a fucking piece of apple. That's why my shit was so smelly this morning.

I ate like two fucking apples and a pet. And then I hit the crib about 1030. but Gray was in the bed and I couldn't fall asleep. Gray was in bed with me all last night with me and my wife. Gray is the last cat I adopted about a year and a half ago that I love. She never mingles in that room at all. She never mingles at all. She sits on the chair.

She comes in here and breaks my balls. I give a treat. I pick her up. I tell her I love it. Last night, she slept next to me the whole fucking night. Every time I moved, she was next to me. I had to be aware of her. She just cupped in between my fucking legs.

And it's weird. I was in the back from this morning when I got out of the shower. when Lee comes over, and before Lee comes in the office, he plays with the fucking cats for like five or six minutes. Yeah, it's getting longer than 10 minutes today. You love him, yeah. And Lee, explain to the people how cool these motherfuckers are. They're crazy.

I'm honestly, I was never a cat person. I used to be really allergic. Like, when I first started coming over here, I couldn't be here for that long. And it started out with Fidel, because he's out all the time. Because people joke about it, but you really do have a lot of cats. and at first like Fidel and Finney will be out

but now all the cats like me and especially Harry, Harry's my guy so he has a cat posts in the living room and as soon as I come in they all start meowing at me but it's crazy they're there they're there because they're up now but where they're really there because they're guarding your wife and it's a crazy thing to see

wherever your wife is they follow Oh my god it's fucking they won't even come in here The boys Love my wife what's happening honey How you feel? Say hello to the people at home. Show them your belly and shit. Come here.

Say hello. We're talking about the cats. Look at my wife's fucking... I know, I know. Look at her fucking belly guys. This is the real deal. Holy shit. This is a couple weeks away and stuff here, huh?

I'll be fucking dead in a couple weeks. Oh, they can see it. They can't see your face, though. That's perfect. Her belly right there. Now, I love my wife, but she's not dialed up this movie. She's got a little fucking Jerry Garcia tithe shit and her tities out. That's the belly.

right there. All right honey, you're dismissed and shit. You want to say anything for the people? Yeah. Of the church, what's happened now? Get a life. I'm a fucking idiot. Five in the morning. I'm over here talking shit. Thank you.

Thank you. And that's right. And I grew up on another show that was classic, also called Get Smart. Thank you, my man. J.P. Gomez always dropping knowledge. Get Smart was that bad. This is a preview to the Diaz reality show. You would love all this shit, wouldn't you? Me? With my wife calling me, names in front of fucking people and insulting me and shit like that.

Why are you listening to my husband? I know. So, anyway, go to Onit.com. When you order this stuff on the way out, press church in, so they know that I'm doing my fucking job, and we continue doing this podcast because this supports fucking Lee and, you know, this all help us out. You know, I love you guys. The holidays are coming.

We got a couple more fucking days for the holidays. It's amazing. But the end of the world. Did you see Rogan last night? He was with Stanhope last night, I guess, on the, on Daniel Taj doing this. a sketch of the man show, something like that. And on the way out, he said, we're doing a show December 21st.

That's still going on until Wilburne fucking theater. I will not be in Austin this week. I am headed to New York this afternoon after my audition until fucking Saturday or Sunday or Monday. So we will be doing the next podcast next Monday morning. I will not forget about you motherfuckers. Then straight on, then Lee's going to Boston. So we're going to be doing a couple of them.

Lee's going to teach me how to just set this up. We're not even going to tell you. go on here in the mornings and talk to you, motherfuckers. I'm not even going to take nothing. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, you know what I'm saying? I'll figure it out. Let me give some shout-outs to some beautiful fucking people here. Some friends of the podcast today.

You got my man, Greg, I don't even know how to... Greg Gandri is some shit. Nick Magneto, Lewis B.A., Gary O'Donnell, Colin O'Rafferty, Mr. Barraza, Van Haben. I love this motherfucker. He's been around for a while.

Mark. Haya, Donnie Hastings, M.J. Rivera, happy birthday, cock sucker, and shock monkey, shock the monkey, bitches. You bad motherfuckers, I love you, too. Tim Donahey is going to be calling here, the ref that went nomad

and started betting games, and then the mob, and then he did some time. He's going to call back with his book, personal file. We're going to talk about that, and I want to talk about something else that people have been bugging me about, because I never talk, listen, guys, I don't like talking about this shit,

but if you guys bugged me about it, Then I'll talk to you about it The Go Daddy commercial Everybody's hitting me on it Thank God They're hitting it up in Canada So you guys could see it Don't ask me

I got a call to do a pizza fucking commercial Going for a pizza thing I went in there Was the Allstate one There was an all state pizza commercial That's running I didn't see that

Two guys And they're in there And they try to be cute The one guy was on a surprise I was okay I wanted to read for that Like on a Monday I never thought about it again

Now Wednesday I got another call And they said Hey you're going in for Go ahead for go daddy.com as a pizza man. When I went down and the guy walked over to me, he goes, Joey, don't be New York in this.

They want a regular pizza guy. Don't be fucking New Yorkie. So I walked in there like Johnny Whitebread. I walked in there and I fucking read and that was it. They didn't even respond to me. Didn't even respond to me? Nothing. They just looked at me like I fought it.

So no worries. I don't get mad at fucking nobody. I leave and I get a call back. They said, you got it. You're going back for the pizza commercial. But I thought it was definitely the all-state one. When I looked at the computer on the thing, it was Go Daddy. So I go, wow, Go-Daddy wanted me.

They didn't want a New York. That's why you never know nothing, Lee. That's why when I talk to you about this shit, you never know nothing. Go-Daddy won. So I get down and the guys like, come here again. He goes, I guess they wanted a New Yorkie, but just tighten your shit. They don't want it to New Yorkie or two sopranoish or two, whatever. So I go in, I don't know what to do,

and I realize the guy is English, the director's English. If they're English, we're in, because they like it loud, and they're obnoxious, and me calling them a bloody fucking cunt. You know, they don't give a fuck. That's why I love the fucking English, because they don't give a fuck. That's why you're supposed to talk.

That's fucking English, okay? You go to English, they call you a bloody fucking cunt, okay? So I go in, and the guy is laughing, the director, which I knew he would, and he's yelling these things for me to say, get the fuck out of here and all this shit. I'm like, wow. And I got in the car.

And I called Ari. My other advisor, my other Jewish advisor, he's on his way to Minneapolis. If you're in Minneapolis this week, anywhere in the area, Wisconsin, whatever the fuck you live up there, go see my man Ari Shafir. He's at the Mall of America

at the House of Comedy. Rick Bronson's House of Comedy. Go see him. So I call Ari and I go, Ari, I don't know nothing about nothing, but I just booked this fucking commercial. Because you know, there's times you go in for a commercial

they're completely different than a theatrical audition. The times you're going for a commercial, and they don't say nothing to you. And you leave there, and you get the call the next day, you book the commercial, and you're like, oh, my God, are they fucking retarded? And then there's times you go in there and kill, and you walk out of it and go,

I got this commercial. And you don't even get a fuck. You don't even get put on hold. And you're like, what the fuck? And usually when they put people on hold, you're in the top three. There's three choices, and then they make a, that's hold, and they'll say your second choice or whatever.

So I just fucking knew And the next day him and I were going somewhere Ari and I or me and somebody Joe Rogan we're flying somewhere So what I did the next day was I On the plane I told him my agent that day Was that Chicago? We were somewhere I called my agent

I go hey I'm fucking leaving Tomorrow but they're gonna call you And I guess he hears this from everybody The next day when I got off the fucking As soon as the plane lands I got sprint bitch Those motherfucking messages were popping up I looked at it, it was him going, where are you?

We need to confirm this fucking commercial. And I went to Pasadena. In fact, I put the thing on, because somebody sent me a video last night of the making of it. Behind the scenes, I watched that. Behind the scenes. So somebody sent me that last night. So I put it up, and, you know, guys,

listen, when I first got here, a lot of people don't know. Remember the Taco Bell commercial with the dogs? Yeah? I did the first one here. You don't even see me in the fucking commercial. I made a ton of loot on it. It was the first paid there.

I had in 10 fucking years. I got divorced. So it all went up my nose and the other half went to the fucking attorneys. Coke zero, bitches. I don't even like drinking this in the morning. I needed something to bring in here. I had grape juice and water.

I already had a big glass or water that sits in my stomach. It feels weird. Yeah, I don't like water in the morning that or really like that. I've been on Just water, so I'm used to it now, but I know what you mean. Just water. Look at you, fucking savage. I'm fucking exhausted, but it's helping. I'm trying.

What were you saying? I was just because anyways about the commercial. Yeah. I fucking went up there in Pasadena and I shot. I didn't even know. You know, I've seen the Danica and Patrick ones ago, Daddy, and I didn't know it. And they really hired me if you really think about it

because how fucking ugly I am. And they didn't hire me because I'm no great actor or because I'm no fucking stander sloppy. The commercial wasn't even funny. I couldn't even get my shit off. It was funny. And I noticed in the other commercial, you probably weren't there with her,

but that girl from that Cedric, that Cedric, the Entertainer Pilot, who was in the Metro. She did another one. Yeah, yeah. But my favorite part of that commercial with you is at the end, and you obviously haven't cooked your pizza, but I know you're not supposed to squeeze the dough in the last shot

is you just squeezing the dough at the end. Oh, it's like an ass. They told me to squish it like that. It kills me every time. And you know what's crazy? The pizza at that place wasn't bad. The cheese was delicious. Was that healthy fucking...

Was it actually like hot pizza? Yeah, it was hot pizza. It was like mozzarella cheese from New York. Old school. That whole milk, mozzarella, a lot of places don't have that. And I know when I taste it. I know exactly when I tasted what it should taste like. And I tell you, I got there, and I was stoned to the fucking gills.

You know, at 8 o'clock in the morning, and I was fucking starving. You know, I must have a bowl of oatmeal here and an apple. That shit don't hold. When you're going to set, anything fucking goes. When I'm going to set, I fucking eat like a savage. I don't give a fuck. I take the coffee. I steal the tampons.

I take the tums. I fucking clean them out. I don't give a fuck. but what was he talking about? Oh yeah, I got up there and I started eating a pizza leave, right? I started eating the cheese and gloves off the pizza

because they had 20 pies, I didn't give a fuck. That's why when it was eating the cheese, by that point I was just spitting it out. I had eaten 20 pounds of fucking cheese. It took me four days to shit after I shot that fucking commercial. It was like taking a bike of it. I was constipated for a fucking week from that thing. But

we shot it and I'm very fortunate. And you know what, guys? Let me take it. or some i go into those things i go like people always oh we see your commercial you're lucky fuck listen if you had any idea how many auditions i do go in for commercials you could you say joey you're a fucking loser guy you know you go for 20 commercials you only book one you know man it's so slow these days that they sent out so many fucking people that when you go to a commercial audition now it used to be 20 now there's 80 when you go to a callback it used to be six or seven now there's 20.

So it's very hard. And what they do on the big commercials like Budweyers and stuff, that towards the end, even if you're not that person, they call you in, like, if you book a lot of commercials, you notice that there's people

that book a lot of commercials. I've seen a bunch of them, yeah. There's the one right now that the machine gets stuck. Have you seen that one? The camera gets stuck with a kid and his wife and they have a boy.

Have you seen that? For what product? I have no fucking idea for some cable thing. The cable keeps getting stuck. She comes out of the shower and it's stuck. That kid, There's a comic.

He's running just five of those. You know, I've seen five or six of those. And he's like in three other ones. I was never a fucking, I don't have a social-like face, as they say. So they won't put me around. What the fuck is a social light league? Like a white,

like a whore. Like a white whore. That's what the social life is, right? They go to parties and they throw parties. Like Peresilton. And they mingle and shit like that. I never fucking knew what that was. They keep talking about that for Poteas.

You know, the Poteus, the fuck. Colonel who cheated. Petraeus, whatever his fucking name is. I used to date the stripper, Carol, and she used to say that. When she lived in Michigan, she was sort of a socialite.

In the back of my mind, I just thought it meant whore. Yeah. I don't mean to insult Kara. I love Carol. She's dear friend, but that's what I thought it meant. It basically does.

I mean, that's what... Socialite. Who gives a fuck? So you just go to parties? That's right, baby. Van Heber. He's a good fucking dude. That's what Kardashian is.

He's a fucking... You're a good man, dog. You always send love and, positive energy. That's all, I'm loving Twitter now. I'm fucking loving my Twitter and my Facebook because we got all the fucking mooks out of the way. We got a big fucking Dead Squad family. We got Dead Squad Connecticut. That Squad Kentucky. Dead Squad fucking Brazil. We got Dead Squad Cuba. We got three Cubans down there playing the bongos yelling Dead Squad. Dadda da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da dead squad.

What time is it here Lee? Lee. Leo, what we're talking about was I was I was telling Lee Lee Lee Leeland that I got these, you know, I haven't been smoking heavy duties. lately. What I do is I smoke the fucking vapor pen. Where's my vapor pen? I forgot to hit it for you guys today. I'm sorry. Ooh, Lee, Lee, Lee, lick my big balls.

Suck my duck. Anyway. Stick the song every day when I come in. It's different every time. Lee, I got to sing your fucking song. You know what I'm saying? We got to go. Chill made a song about me with the Joey Diaz. Chil's got to make a song about you now, the flying fucking Jew. I love chili. He's over there in Chicago, smoking.

and reef with Puerto Ricans. So anyway, we got the vapor pen. I got the headband in here, and I got some fucking Louis the 16th. I got to go over to NOC. And when do I get this? And all organic. No whole organic.

They're my boys. But divine wellness is the fucking king of edibles. I know, Leah. I'm getting fucked up in the tour of the moon. Who are you looking on over there? Huh? You looked at like the wall. What am I going to do?

What am I going to do? What am I going to do? What am I got hot here with my wife? I saluted Clinties. What things happened. So every once in a while I go over and I get the, where the fuck is the card? The anti-dolores treats, they have the mint chocolate chip. Like today, I got an audition at 10 after 3.

I got to go to kickboxing, and I got a spot at the ha-ha maybe later tonight, right? Or flappers. I'm just going to go work some shit out for the weekend, right? Yeah. What do I? I got to fly out. What the fuck am I talking about? I got to fly out.

So instead of eating a big cookie because I'm looking at calories again now, it's the holidays. these are these fucking hash caps they have like hash all in them I'll tell you about this shit it's a hundred milligrams a piece and I'm gonna open up the day with two just to show you motherfuckers how we do it here you know what I'm saying

oh yeah look at these motherfuckers look one of these weekends we have to do one where you take that at the beginning and look we just come back like four hours later and I get fucked up and giggly that's when people call me and I get fucked up and giggle

we got a great album for you today after the call. I'm just waiting on Tim Donah. I hate the call. But I'm happy we've got to talk about the commercial. What else we got to talk about today? Because a lot of people don't know that I do it all. I don't fuck around, guys, okay?

Some weeks I want to do a commercial. I did a TV show last week, partners. Sometimes I do Kimmel. It's not what I wanted to do, but it helps my insurance. And for you people like, Joe, you're a sellout. No, I do everything. What are you thinking? Richard Pry didn't have all this TV.

He would do it today, too. All these guys are, I don't want a sell out. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. I'm just trying to fucking feed my... I got mouse to feed. You know what I'm saying? I got mouse to feed like fucking De Niro and the raging, boom. Well, when you brought it up, I was going to ask you about it. That portrays thing doesn't... I don't understand why it bothers people.

I mean, he cheated on somebody. I mean, I guess, like, if he was giving away state secrets, oh, we'll have to finish this later. We got Tim Donagian on the line. Uncle Tim, Tim, what's happening, brother? Hey, pal, how you doing? You know me trying to put the pieces together. Thank you very much for calling.

You know, the people from the church are what's happened now, they've listened to your partner, Danny B for a long time. He's a dear friend of mine. We grew up together in Jersey, and he told us a little about you and that you were going into business. What's going on in your world, my man? Not too much, just, you know, hanging out with Danny B,

trying to put some winning picks out there and, you know, trying to put some money in our pockets. You're beautiful. Now, where are you from originally? He said Pennsylvania outside of Philly? Yeah, I grew up in Havortown, and then moved out to Westchester and then moved down here to Sarasota, Florida.

Holy shit, and you're also in, you also went to Villanova. Yep, went to Villanova and got a liberal arts degree and started refereeing basketball games and made it all the way up to the NBA. You're a bad motherfucker now. Were you down there at Raleigh Massimino?

Yes, I was. No, you weren't. No, you fucking weren't. Come on. that's amazing my friend yeah he uh yeah he won the national championship and then the next year

that's when I went to Villanova wow wow who won that national championship let's see if your memory's still good who was on that team because I can't fucking remember it wasn't Jack the Goose Givens was it

it was Ed Picney it was um Dwayne and Gary McLean yes okay uh Harold Jensen remember he he hit So short, little jumpers.

Yes. You got like six for six in the game. Yeah, those are the guys that I can remember. Wow. That's, and what level did you get into refereeing at what level? At high school or college, or where do you start when you want to? I mean, I started, you know, refereeing young little kids games and just worked my way up. My dad was a college basketball referee, so that kind of helped with my name.

And from there, I just kind of moved up quickly, went through a couple camps, got seen better right people and you know next thing I know I was you know out in California being scouted by the NBA that is fucking amazing and how long after they scouted you that they pick you up four years and then they retrain you yeah then they retrain you to their style of what they want called and what they don't want called and you know the NBA uh you know dudes and don't start treatment basically wow now I have not read your book but this afternoon I will go to the mall and get it because I love reading, especially about all that type of stuff and what went down with you.

So basically, what went down? How long were you in refereeing before you started gambling? If you don't mind me asking. If there's anything off limits here, just let me know, brother. I love you to deck. You can ask me whatever you want, pal. Nothing's off limits. I refereed for 13 years, gambled for, you know, on NBA and NFL and college

and everything under the sun for about my last three or four years in the NBA. So it was just, you know, it became a situation where I just loved the action and, you know, whether it was on the golf course or playing cards in the back room, rolling dice, or betting on sporting events. I just was, you know, in a situation where I loved the action and I did it. And once you started betting the NBA, how long did it take before? I mean, when you first started betting it, you knew you were doing something wrong or you weren't doing something wrong.

Fill me in. What were your thoughts? I definitely was doing something wrong. What I was doing was using relationships that existed within the NBA, both positive and negative, of the referees and the players and the coaches and the owners, knowing that some teams were put in an advantage or a disadvantage. And, you know, I was telling a buddy of mine who, you know, could play some action on some games, you know, who to bet.

And, you know, we were hitting it about 75% correct. Wow, and that's how it started. That's how it started. That's how it always does. That's how it always does. That's how it always does. That's how it always does. And then, you know, I just slowly, you know, got full of myself.

And we just started crossing a line that I shouldn't have been near with, you know, my job that I had with the family that I needed to support. And, you know, basically I just screwed up and crossed that line and, you know, started to bet on NBA games because it was so easy. you know, I knew I'd be at lunch with somebody and maybe tell me how they're going to stick it up you know, Kobe Bryant's ass tonight or how, you know, they had a bad game the last time they had LeBron James, so they're going to take

care of them a little bit tonight, you know? So there was, you know, some stuff that was going on behind the scenes that put one team or another at an advantage. That's fucking amazing, man. And listen, you know, I gambled, I come from that area and I gambled early on. It was one of those things, Tim.

that I knew I liked, but I tell you what I hated doing was paying because I'd have to go out. Yeah, me too, pal. I fucking hated paying because I'd have to go out and rob for the fucking money. And, you know, between me and you, who the fuck of my kid? And I lost every week, Tim. So every week I'd have to go mug somebody or rob a drug dealer's house. And then it was 83 or the year when the Redskins played the Dolphins in the Super Bowl. And my roommate was up 30,000.

We were 18, Tim. 18. Just got out of high school. And he was up. His name was Fernie. He was up 30,000 going into that game. And he ended up losing 40 plus he sat on 20. And I ended up losing like 1,000.

And the guys came to the house, and I had to give him money for every week, for a couple weeks. And I remember going, you know what, if I'm going to pay money, I'm going to snort Coke. If I'm going to spend this money, I'm either going to snort Coke and jerk off and look out of window and at least get something out of it and just give it.

And that's why I quit gambling. I swear to God, Tim. I hated fucking paying. I fucking hated it. I couldn't even imagine. Like, I'll pay anything for it. I'm not cheap. I don't give a fuck.

But I wanted something for my money. So I know how fast you got caught in it. And after you started winning, what happened? They approached you, the guys with the suits on, or what happened? Now, what happened was, is, you know, like you said, I got the guilt feeling, you know, like I shouldn't be doing this. You know, we got to stop. We were winning so much.

And I kept going to the guy that was placing the bets for us. We're going to stop. So finally we stopped. It's over. I'm in Philadelphia one night. And what I didn't know was the guy I was giving the picture was relaying them to people that were associated with organized crime. They were banging, making hundreds of thousands of dollars, millions of dollars.

So what happened is I'm now in Philadelphia after we stop and, like one buddy from high school calls me up and says, I'm going to take you out to dinner. I said, all right, come on down. So he drives down. There's this guy that is associated with the Gambino crime family who tells me he's been getting my picks for two years. They've been killing it. And, you know, the picks are going to come through him now.

I said, what are you talking about? He says, you know what I'm talking about. You don't want somebody visiting your wife and kids in Florida, do you? Or do you want us to go to the NBA and tell them what you've been doing? So they had me. So I had to relay the picks. through my high school buddy to this guy, and he started, you know, making a fortune.

But he was running his fucking mouth so much. He got caught over at Gandino Wiretap. And that's how the investigation started. Holy shit. So when did they nail you? They showed up at your house. They show up to the NBA first. No.

No, what happened was is they, the high school buddy who, you know, brought this guy down to me, calls me one day. And he says the FBI's been, in his house four or five times. And I knew I was fucked. I knew this guy was going to, you know,

eventually tell them everything. And it was, you know, rumors that the story was spread in anyway. So I went to an attorney who contacted the United States attorney. And he said, you tell Tim Donegie, we know what he did. It's just a matter of time before we come get him. We're putting the puzzle pieces together. He's better off coming to us before we come to him. Because if we have to come get him,

he's going to jail for a long, long time, along with losing his job. But if he comes to us, he's just going to lose his job. Well, that didn't happen. They still put me in jail. I ended up going to them and telling them everything, and I still went to jail. How long did you do?

How much time did you do? I did about 13 months. Jesus Christ, and they put you in a federal place. They put me in, yeah, federal place, and, you know, I did two months in, like, a, Maximum security county jail. And then what this...

They violated me from the halfway house for going to a health club. Really? In solitary confinement in the county jail, it was awful. Holy shit. That's amazing. Yeah, they violate you for anything.

They violated me a couple times. They will fucking violate your ass. So you've been... Oh, you want to know how... The lady ran the halfway house. The first day I get there, She pulls me in her office and starts reading me the Riot Act because the media is out front, people are taking pictures, and she actually walked by me with two bags of McDonald's. She was about 250 pounds.

And the guy that I knew from the prison that I was out says who's leaving the halfway house in like two days, God, do you think she needs that McDonald's? And I turned around and looked at her with a, like, and laughed a little bit, and she said, do you think he's funny? and right then and there I get off on the wrong foot with her and you know a month later I was violated Wow yeah they'll fucking violate you for anything So you've uh you got out You're free on probation now

Are you still on probation? I just got off probation A month ago Actually a couple weeks ago and you know Working with uh you know Danny at danny b wins.com and putting out some winners And just uh trying to grow his business bigger and stronger than ever

You know, I've known Danny for, I've got to say, 30 years. I've known him since we grew up pretty much together. And the reason why I'm friends with him, and I'm so lucky, is because I still have him in my life. I mean, I don't see him every fucking year or nothing. But just the fact of us talking, you know, you're in with a fucking really good guy. And he's crazy.

Tim, he's fucking crazy like I am. But his heart's in the right place. You know, Lee knows the flying... We're all crazy, but he's a winner. He's a winner. He really is. And I'm happy that you're over there. And I'm happy that, you know, my whole, I've been doing this podcast thing for two years.

I did Beauty and the Beast with Felicia. And I'm doing this one with Lee called the church of what's happening now. What this show is basically about is what happened to me, second chances. So as far as I'm concerned, brother, you got my heart. I'm happy that you pay your debt to society. You fucked up and you're out there again. And now you've got to do whatever you got to do to feed the fucking family. and I'm really proud of you for that.

You did your time and you came on. It's like I hit you in the Army, ain't it? Yeah, yeah. It's, you know, no doubt, man. It's tough. You know, like you said, I've got to provide for the family, and this is, you know, a great way to do it. You know, Danny's been doing great, knocking him dead,

and I'm fortunate that he's putting me, you know, on his ship that's sound pretty good. What's your relationship now with the NBA? Are they talking to you? Do you get a piece of your pension? I mean, what's going on now? Well, the funny thing is, you know, the NBA has my pension and I owe them restitution and the amount of $200,000 for, you know, what their fee was to do the investigation after

all this went down. So, you know, right now it's, you know, everything's kind of on hold until this restitution gets paid off. But, you know, little by little, I'm chipping away at it. And, you know, at some point it's going to be behind me. All right, man. You got a book out there. I do.

I got a book out there called Personal Fowl, and it's, you know, on Amazon.com, it's the best spot to get it. And it definitely shows you what I did and how I did it and the blueprint for how I continue to pick winners today with Danny. Now, let me ask you this. And, you know, we got to ask you this because do you miss it? Do you miss fucking getting on plans and fucking making the calls and having a stake in Morton's and getting your dick sucked and doing blow? It's a great fucking life. It really is. I just read up.

You know, it's a rock star life, man. You're out on the road. You're visiting different cities. You're, you know, running up and down the court with the greatest athletes in the world. Yeah, certainly I miss it. I mean, if I could turn back time, I certainly would. But, you know, it's in the past right now.

And, you know, I'm moving forward. And like I said, Danny B's a winner, and things are going great with them right now, and I'm hoping that things continue. You know, I'm, I'm, I'm, I've been fucking shocked that I'm on the phone with an NBA ref and how you did it. I mean, it's not like, you know, I mean, you did it from scratch. And that's the most important thing.

And whatever happened, fuck it. You blew it. You did it your way, like Sinatra. And you got no motherfucking regrets. And that's the way to live your life, brother. Fuck it. You know, it was a part of your life. You paid your time.

It's not like you're still doing it or whatever. You still got the hits to gamble. Like I said, you know, Tim, if I had fucking balls, I'd still be putting in 100 timers every year. night. That's what it is to have balls and throwing TVs out the window. Eventually, you just get sick and fucking tired of it. You know, you go, fuck this, I can't do this no more.

It all came to an end, and in a way, I bet you were happy at the end. It was a relief, you know? Yeah, no doubt about it. I mean, certainly, you know, there was a lot of pressure back then, and it's gone now. And, you know, like I said, you know, I'm moving forward, having a good

positive attitude. And, you know, things are going to turn back around. They already started too, so it's going to work out. Who do you like tonight? Is there any NBA action that you like tonight that you took a look at? Because he was also saying not only go to Danny B. Wins, but he also said to go to Td.Wins.com. Is that the same company?

Yeah, same company, Danny B.Wins.com, Td.wins.com. I actually, it's a little early now. They don't put the referee list out until about, you know, 9, 30, 10 o'clock, and that's what I do. I check out those referees that are on the game. and, you know, I make my decisions based on that. I have a nice, lengthy conversation with Danny B. And, you know, we pick the games and pick the winners, and we go from there.

Listen, man, I want everybody here to get your book, you know, read it. I want you to come back on in a few months and let me know how you're adjusting to this new life and how you're doing with your winners. But most importantly, your fucking life. You sound great. Like I said, bro, in this life, if you don't make a fucking mistake, You're slipping because that's what this life is about to make mistakes and to grow, you know? So, hey, man, you got a home here anytime you want to call and give us a pick or just say hello, Tim.

You sound like... I'll tell you what, if whoever calls the office today or, you know, goes in and looks at TDWins.com and gets the 800 number calls the office today. We will give them a free pick if they mention your show. Okay, what's the 800 number? Do you know it off the top of you? Yes, I sure do. It's 800-308.

9-003. 308-903. Mr. D, I fucking love you. Congratulations on your book. Congratulations on your life, man. You fucked up, but you're coming back like stronger than debt. You know what I'm saying?

I hear you, pal. And anyone that's out there, betting money on the ball games, give us a call tonight. We'll hook you up with a free winner, and then we'll do some business. Let's do it, man. Have a great week, Tim.

Congratulations on the book and your new life, brother. All right. Thank you, sir. All right, my man. Have a good day. Okay. What the fuck did you think of that? I wanted to ask him more questions,

but I was just embarrassed. I'll wait until the next time he calls. Yeah, we'll get him next time. But that, uh, I always knew that they're giving preferential treatment, especially the fucking LeBron, because he never gets a foul called on him. He never fouls out.

And I wanted to ask him when he said he picks games based on the ref list that comes out. Whenever the Celtics are in the playoffs, was this fucking 1,000-year-old ref who looked like he could barely move, but he fucking calls everything on us. And I wanted to ask him about him, but we'll get up next time. Yeah, no, I guarantee that there's refs that have, you know, they have fucking problems with different players, or they don't.

Yeah, you know, listen, if LeBron James is driving, you've got to assume this. Every time he drives, he's going to get fouled. Oh, absolutely. You know, so what's he going to do, foul out, fucking both teams? so sometimes they call them on them and sometimes they see the extent of the file what's going on during the shot you know if it's a forced file

I mean I'm the same way there's a lot of shit I wouldn't fucking call because it just happens you're going for the ball yeah you're both going for the fucking bull you know I know a lot of times I got called on shit I looked around but uh

I gotta tell you Simon this is on the serious side you know I fucked around with drugs for a long time I did a lot of crazy shit guns and all that gambling scared this shit out of me. That's one thing I wanted to ask him.

If you do with the Gambino family, I don't know how that's over, but... Well, it is what happened. You have these people. You know, the Gambinos, listen, all the mafia doesn't have the power they used to have, but they still control, you know, minimal bookmaking operations. You know, after a while, if I

control the operation, first of all, I wouldn't put my action in with the same people. I'd spread it around. I'd have three or four different bookmakers, so nobody would catch on. Okay. That's what you do, so nobody catches I did the same when I was doing bluff. I would have three or four dealers, so nobody knew the exact amount I was buying. I would never want nobody to know exactly that I was buying. If you don't see me but every other night, you're thinking I don't come to you but every other night,

but I'm going to El Compadre the other week. And the other nights I'm going to the black guy, and the other I'm going to John Blaze. My other dealer that ran a bar, and he wasn't the original John Blaze. I'm the original John Blaze, but, you know, that's what you do. You spread it out. You never want somebody to really know what you're doing. I started gambling. You know, I grew up in a numbers house,

and numbers to me was very innocent. The Bolita is a Spanish bookmaking thing that started in Cuba, and they went to Tampa, and then from Tampa went up to New York. And the Bolita, they take the last three numbers of the mutual of the track. So whatever the track makes for the day, you look at the last three numbers,

and that's the number for the day. If you're in New York, they go by the Aquatic number, Belmont, or there's another track. They go down by the shore. Danny talked about it. The Monmouth. So it's the last three numbers

of the total mutual. What that track makes for the fucking day. And that's what my family was into. But that crosses hands in hands with sports betting. And I'm going to tell you guys the truth. It was gambling affects men. But when it really affects you,

when it gets a hold on a woman. When gambling gets a hold on a woman, it fucks them up. There's 60-minute things about women gambling in Connecticut, they have a lot of problems now with the casinos. Women are getting addicted. I never heard that. Fuck yeah.

Women are getting addicted to these fucking little video games. Oh, okay. Because now they have these video games that are like regular video games that you're gambling and they affect the mind so much during gambling. It's not just calling the game and watching the game. These people go to that casino in Connecticut. What's the name of it? Foxwoods and Mohegan Sun.

And these housewives are getting addicted. Those are the scariest things. and I saw what I did to my mother. Gambling destroyed my mother when she lost the bar. The last two years of my mother's life was dedicated to the fucking Yankees and the Mets and the Boston Red Sox

and she lost every dime she had. She had 30 years of savings, you know, lost. I mean, when my mother died, she died because she was broke. She's like a Cuban Jew. She knew that she was done. She already refied the house. She fucking forged the signature of my phone.

father, she had done it all. She had $250,000 in pawn jewelry. That means she had $700,000 worth of gold diamond jewelry. That's what my mother's gambling addiction did to her. So when I started gambling, I always kept that in mind. And it fucking deterred me for life. Once I got into that hole in 83, man, you know what? I fuck with you guys now from time to time.

I'll bet 50. I'll put a bet him with the guy from the MMA plays for a few. fight, but besides that I can't do it every night, and I'll tell you what will kill you, basketball. Because it's every night. It's like baseball. So football don't fuck with you. In the old days, football and fuck with you.

Because football was Saturday and Sunday, Monday night football. They caught on the fucking people. So now they have Thursday night, special edition, Thursday night Thursday night college. You think that's why they did it? No, they did it because they just want to sell programming.

Yeah, they did it because they got a fucking It's like they said, football is the only sport that has an injury report. What is that injury report there for the fucking gamblers, brother? Vegas stays open from August 15th to February 3rd, not because, you know, Dizzy Gillespie's playing the trombone or some black guys cracking dirty jokes in the casino. That's not what's keeping the casino open. It's the fucking gambling.

You go and get all those free dinners and all that shit, not because they're generous, but because they hope that you'll bring your credit cards with you and bet your grandmother, the fucking game. That's what they're hoping for. So that's what it's all built on. From, let's be facing.

Let's be honest to you. Vegas is not for anything else. Oh my God, the entertainment, the restaurants. That's all the finger in the ass. That's the dressing. The main thing about Vegas is getting the money out of your fucking pocket. Once you're dropping 80 for a steak,

you don't give a fuck if you drop a hundred at the crap stable. Yeah. That's how they make their fucking money, you know? So once I got caught up in it, bro, it scared me, Lee. Lee, I didn't like it at all. I didn't like losing. I did not like fucking losing. So that's it.

If you gamble, please get it together. Also, we're going to vote Lee, Syatt, and my man, Neil Samuels into the Jewish Hall of Fame. I'm trying to get the paperwork now how to push you guys up because if there's any Jew that belongs in the Hall of Fame,

it's you and Neil Samuels. I was thinking about Jewish people yesterday. And I'll tell you why. I love the Jews who shed comedy on their life and their culture. you know my acupuncturus is Jewish and whenever she adds up my total

she always goes can you believe this Joey I'm a Jew that can't add and I love when she says that because it makes me feel like I'm not crazy it's those Jews that are really uptight about their religion and shit you know in the back of their minds that drive me fucking crazy

they act like fucking wasps and they're not they're fucking Jews act like one god damn it what's up Lee Syatt you bad motherfucker I'm almost out of here Lee I know you're tired Leah I feel good Lee, you got to get anything.

You can't take a new mood because then you'll be a little grog. You've got to try it. You'll feel like that. I take them before I go to bed. I feel good. Like people on Twitter have been asking me, and I've been trying. On the weekends I have a little bit, but I've been doing the no-soda thing. And just because I leave the house every night at 5.30.

I don't get home now until like 7.30. 8 o'clock, so it's just a long day. Lisa. Le's a fucking tough motherfucker. I don't ever get confused. And what's going on with Gus, AKA. Gaspari here, my little Sicilian brother. I love you, cocksucker. What are you busting

my boss for? Let it go. Lee, I wanted to talk to these people about music today, because there's an album that's really always fucked me up. November 8, to 79, my mom died. No biggie. People know, whatever. We've been covering it for years, and I moved in with the benders

in December 79. And right about that time when the wall came out, the album came out in December and then the concert was going to be February 26th, 1980. Another band of mine that I loved, I love fucking Black Sabbath. At this time I was really getting into Black Sabbath.

And last week we covered Master Reality. And I cover albums, guys, that I could feel in my fucking bones when I talk about music. Because I don't want to just give you an album like, I like Rush 2112. I don't like Rush as a band, but the album I like it. But did it change my life? Nah, but it's a good fucking album, Rush 2112. So, one arm that I'll never forget. So I think John Lennon got shot December of 80, right?

Or December of 81. Didn't you get shot on like a Monday Night Football game? Yeah, he got shot on Monday Night Football. But I can't remember when he got shot. I'll look it up. Because this is very important that, you know, I throw this in here with you. He was shot December 8th of 80 of 80. That's what I figured.

So what happened was, you know, Sabbath that put out Never Say Die. I went to see them October of 78. They sucked. And they broke up in 79 and nobody knew what was going on with Sabbath. So, yeah, I was still listening to Pink Floyd. I'm a big heavy metal guy. I'm a big UFO guy. The Scorpions, fucking rainbow.

You know, I'm in that genre, Iron Maiden with Tony Deanna on the first album. I'm a big Judas Breeze fan. but I know you motherfuckers all hate Judas Priest He's gay, Joey I don't give a fuck if he's gay If he sucks a dick He can sing loud You know, that's her makes you

Sucking dick makes you sing loud Why do you think all those women sing fucking loud? Because they suck dick It creates the suction in their throat Then they let it out So Biology lesson

Who the fuck you think you're dealing with? It's not ha-ha's and he's all right So this time I go over to John Lennonah Get Shot on a Monday Night Football and that's Tuesday I robbed a bank

not robbed the bank like pseudonym but I had these checks and my buddy worked at a bank and he said that he could cash the checks for me yeah I got like 20 and fucking 17 16 years old

and he tells me to meet him up at Nick's Pizza and he hands me a fucking one of those back envelopes yeah and it was fucking filled to the brim with brand new fucking bills bro and I just looked at it and I said

had tears in my eyes. And at that time, my mother had a friend, Zerida, from New York, that was a Coke dealer in Spanish Harlem. And after my mother died, Zerida would meet me like every other Sunday, throw me a couple hundred. And I'd tell her this, and I could sell some Coke, give me some Coke. And she'd give me like an eight ball to sell, and I'd snort the whole fucking thing with Mike Denny, the devil. It was shitty coke.

It was New York City Coke in those days. It was basically for shooting. But I had this money. You know, I had this fucking 20 large, and I hid some of it. That's the week John Lennon got shot. So that weekend they were doing a fucking thing in Central Park. They were going to call it Strawberry Fields and the village was going to be packed. So I said, fuck it.

I'm going to go into the city. I got a fucking grandma blow. In those days, you had a little bottle with a spoon at the top and you screwed in the fucking cap. And I had this little grandma blow and I went to the city. I was doing a little bump. I'm fucking 16. No wonder my mind is fucking shot. And I'm in the city and I went to, uh,

I went in a record shop called Bleaker Bobbs. If anybody remembers that thing, after I talk about it, fucking email me at Joey Coco Diaz.net. Bleaker Bob's, right? And I went in there, and there was this EP. An EP was an album that they did four songs. They don't do them no more. They were doing this in the 80s.

Rat had one. Spring Session M. What's their name? Missing Persons had an EP with Mental Hopscot China. Rat had an EP before. on the street, that's where we'll meet. They had an EP. EP with four song albums in the 80s. Okay.

So they give you two fucking great songs. And I'm going through this thing. And I see the Blizzard of Oz with Ozzy Osbourne. And I rip it out of the thing. And it's this guitar player with blonde hair. It's this fucking bass player with hair. And it's this drummer that looks like he's 100 fucking 90. And I brought it home and it had Mr. Crowley,

Suicide Solution, and two other songs. on it. I could tell you it was Revelation or whatever, but I can't tell you for sure. So I know these people hit back. Joey, it wasn't that song that was on there. I know it was definitely suicide solution. And I brought that album and that album had a guitar player called Randy Rhodes on it. That is, uh, it is just a brilliant fucking album. And it's got some, I mean, one of my favorites is I don't know. Suicide solutions. Uh, crazy train. Fucking revelation, Mother Earth. Mother please forgive them. They know not what to do. deal away the night. This album

has so many fucking great songs and for me, every time I listen to it it gives me goosebumps because I was going through so much at the time when this album came out. This album finally saved me and then I had gone to see Ozzy with that one album that they talk about, the 30

year anniversary of the Blizzard of Oz, Jim Norton had it on the show and a bunch of people. I went to that fucking show at the Palladium. Me, Didi Contaro, Steve Avila, I'd get Steve to call tomorrow. We could talk about that. We went to see Randy Rhodes, Rudy Zarzo. Rudy Zarzo was Cuban from

Quiet Riot. They all left together and shit. I'll tell you, man, it was fucking amazing. Watching that was amazing. Hit it, Lee. Hit me with a little fucking I don't know. Just to let these motherfuckers know the riff of Randy Rhodes. Wait, what's going on? What's going on? I'm here.

It's here. Fucking. Hit it, Lee. It's playing. What? Hit it! I've got to change the cartridge. Oh, Shilly. is the end near when is the final day 26 fucking days stick around gocksuckers the Mayans are coming they're gonna butt fuck you the debt with those apocalyptic dicks hit it

hit me with another song we hit me a little mr crowley now I had grown up with a kid named uh John Crowley he was fucking crazy funny as shit and you know mr Crowley's about a guy named alister Crowley he was this 24-caron warlock that jimmy pays lived in his house and he fucking killed people and shit so uh We heard this song. I mean, I'm not a devil worshipper, but I knew all about that shit. I knew you have to sell your soul at the fucking crossroads.

You know, and this is about fucking, what's his name, Alex the Crowley, the 24 Carol. I think he's Duncan's uncle to some shit like that. This is a great little fucking jam. Where's my goddamn cartridges, bitch? Lee, have you been taking my cartridges? Yeah. You can sell him on the black market to Puerto Ricans.

What a fuck. Here we go. Here's a good cartridge right here. Lee listen to this is a good fight You ever hear this before? No, not this one Lee, why not? I was born in 88

I'm catching up I'm gonna make you one of his THC pills and put the speakers on Hit it, Lee! Oh shit Hit it! Oh shit It's Wednesday, motherfuckers

You got two more days But today's the day You've been waiting for all your fucking life Go out there Slings some dick, wash your ball Hit it! People with magic Oh shit now you're waiting down that far in your face

Italy Mr. Chalami It's been a great week with you guys I love you motherfuckers Don't forget Go to onit.com Get your vitamins Get your strong bones

Get your fucking hemp force Get your new mood And get your life going Get it together Go for a walk today Go mail something You know go do fucking something Today's the day man

If not they're not God would have put you in fucking Africa right now in a tent getting chased by white people for diamonds and shit like that. You're here. Do something, right, Lee? Absolutely. Act like a fucking Jew today. Go out there, make them pay for you being fucking alive.

You think there's a Jew walking around today saying, I'm going to stay home. I got $10 million in the bank. Fuck no. Louie, what are you looking at, Coxucker? He's going down there. What song are you getting for your uncle Joe? What are you going to close up with?

The only one I know off of this crazy train. All right, you want to play Crazy Train. I'll do whatever you want me to do. I want to give some shoutouts here. You know, as usual, I love you, motherfuckers. Sparys and the fucking LeRoy neck bones and the fucking, I love you guys. Let me see if we forgot. Don't forget, I want to thank Tim Donahue.

I want to say, what's going on with Facebook and this copyright? Don't forget, no, if we've got to talk about this shit next week, because a lot of people don't know. I don't even know. This comes out every few months, like they're going to sell your information, and everyone's putting these little status updates. Like, you can't use my stuff. They're not going to look at that.

I don't know. I'll have to look into it. You're in for me, listen, they're watching you on this fucking computer this morning. They're watching you of this fucking computer this morning. So they know exactly all your moves and your mental moves. They got to finger up your ass and your pulse people. You're on Facebook. You're putting all your sayings down there.

They know what I'm about. They know I'm about dick and drugs and stabbing people on the fucking eyeball. Here's for you. A little morning fart. Some people have morning coffee. That's a little morning fart. You know what I'm saying? But!

Perfect time to end. No, you're going to sit here and sweat it out like a soldierly. Inhale that fucking fart to your purple in the eyeballs. Anyway, I love you guys. December 13th, I'm in fucking San Diego at the Madhouse Comedy Club. The link is up on Twitter. December 21st, I'm with my main man Joe Rogan, Doug Stanhope, and Honey, honey, honey. At the end of the fucking World Show, which it's ending that night.

Somebody's getting stabbed. We're going to do something with a fart in Lee's face. What else? I love you guys from the bottom of my heart, man. I'm happy that you guys support this and help me subscribe to the motherfucking podcast. Write a note.

We got to get up there. You guys got to help me here. We're fucking family. You know what I'm with you? You're with me and there with us. Hit it Lee, a little music. Some love for Lee. We love him.

We'll see you guys Monday, December 3rd. We're going to talk about chango. I'm going to play some fucking chango music. Some Cuban chungo fucking music to get your chungo. It's a warrior that comes with a horse and a fucking axe and he had a leopid that showed up with him

and the leopin shows up first to throw his stink and his power and he just chases people off and then chango comes with his fucking axe and chops your fucking head off that's how you're supposed to throw down that's a patron saint right there not some guy walking around with birds

helping people fuck you hit it Lee hit me with some little music here oh shit well that pill is kicking in you motherfucker I got one left meet me somewhere Twit me, meet me somewhere in fucking studio city

I'll give you this last 100 milligram well I'm gonna give it to Lee I'm gonna get I'm gonna eat this stuff I love you guys have a great day be safe

use your fucking eyeballs look around don't let nobody fuck with you tell them all to suck your dick it's Wednesday tell him fucking Uncle Joey sent you

I love you motherfuckers Lee give him a kiss all right stay black people what on it put church in the fucking box so we get credit

I want no misunderstanding Thanks.