The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - 12/10/2012 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #37

Episode Date: December 11, 2012

Joey and Lee talk about Boxing, the UFC and the comedy club Joey works out at when hes in Los Angeles. Joey also does a preview of his love for Mel Brooks movies, which will be talked about in future episodes.Old friend Danny B calls inThis podcast is sponsored by Onnit. Use the promo code church for a discount.Streamed live on 12/10/12

I want to be around. Oh shit. Oh shit. It's Monday morning. My main man. Lee Syatt and you motherfuckers, the church of what's happening now. Put that up for these motherfuckers. It's Monday morning.

What? That's mom. Oh shit. The pipe is going. The fucking coffee's on. I got a protein shaking me. Who's better than you, motherfuckers? Lee Syatt's here.

It's Hanukkah. Are you fucking kidding me? Or what? it's the eight days of Hanukkah. Nobody talks about it. Nobody talks about the 12 days of fucking Christmas. You know what I'm saying? Nobody says, how about the eight fucking days of Hanukkah?

Let's sing a song. On the eighth day of Hanukkah, whatever. I got a bag full of fucking dough. You know, whatever the fuck it is. Who knows? But it's great to be here. It's Monday, bitches. November 10th.

December 10th. Oh shit. We only got 11 more days in this motherfucker. But we're here. The church of what's happening now. Thank you very much for being here. It's a beautiful fucking Monday morning. Great week.

How was your weekend? Lisa? It was great. What'd you do this fucking weekend? The fights were great. I found an apartment which I was stressed about, but uh... No, you were stressed about a fucking apartment. 24 years old. Most people were stressed about VD, or they got this weird itching their asshole. This motherfuckeruck is 24 and he stressed about

the apartment. He can't move till January. He told me he couldn't even sleep Friday night because he was worried about the fucking apartment. This is what I got to do. This is my first fucking science project. LA is weird. They only give you, like you only give 30 days notice and places want to move in immediately. And I'm going home for the

holidays. What are you talking about? What do you mean what am I talking about? You looked all over the fucking planet for the last two weeks for the apartment you were looking at, yeah. How long does it take? And everybody says, oh, when I say I want to move the first week of January, they're like, oh, well, we want you to move tomorrow. Yeah, because things are bad all over, because everybody's looking for tenants.

And how are you going to pack and hire movers and stuff? Oh, I'm going to move tomorrow. You're going to repair pants in their shirt and a couch and the TV. How much shit did you come out here from Boston? Come on. Yeah, I've been out here two years. I've fucking some stuff. What did you buy? What have you bought in two years? Mind your business. What's what the questions?

Who the fuck are you thinking? He got a little refrigerator and the whole thing. He's over there living in the Rocky apartment. And he's trying to tell me, my fucking business. All I'm trying to do is help you out, but you don't got to worry about a bunch of them.

He couldn't fucking sleep. Can you believe this shit? He told me. I called him Saturday. I go, you want to come off for the fights? He's like, dog, let me call you back. I thought he was in a party, having an orgy with three fucking four of eating six.

Fuck, no. He's at home sleeping, resting. Like Joe Pesci and goodfellas. I go, what are you resting for? Because I work until five, I was up at 8 o'clock in the morning All right, whatever, cuckusker

Next time I don't want you stressing out over an apartment That's what my point is I want you to stress about the shit That's in front of you today Which was nothing The beard, your job You got a beautiful fucking job You got good friends

You gotta do a fucking great podcast What do you got to worry about You got to worry about you got to work by the boss You got to move When I was 24 There wasn't a fucking thought in my mind That didn't have to do with drugs Stabbing somebody and eat a pussy

That's it You paid the rent on the first If the guy had the boss, and come get it. Science! I'm wearing my little Enjizi shirt because it was a birthday yesterday, and Jeezy's a girl's got an artist colony, whatever.

Here's a young girl that's pretty. Boyfriend, got shit going on. You think she was on Twitter and Facebook? It's my birthday. Bub, blah, blah. Get your shit together. I didn't even know. I found out on this fucking side

that some girl was strolling a party. You motherfuckers live to 80. I'm having a birthday party. After 20, who gives a fuck about your fucking party? Seriously, after 21, I don't give a fuck about you. your party. These people have birthday, but come meet me at a bar. What are you, 10? What the fuck? Get a sandwich. We smoke a joint

and we smacked high fives and I'm the fuck out of it on your birthday, you dumb fuck. But anyway, smack high five. Yeah, what the fuck? After 21, the hat, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? What are you going to go when you get there? What are you going to do? You're going to jump up and down with your friends. Your friend? Hi, what the fuck? You're 50. Get it together.

And Gigi's not 50. She's like 22, 21, maybe 19. She's looking little fucking Spanish girl. What are the fuck she is? But happy birthday Also, there was another birthday. I want to shout out before I fucking forget. Nicky Bones, his birthday's on the 15th, but I want to give him a shot.

Sometimes you fucking forget. You see the Pachial fight, Filipino. I saw the knockout part of it. My God. I didn't watch the whole fight because I was doing comedy, but the knockout, I watched the knockout when I got home that night. It's the end of an arrow. Everybody comes to one of that.

Speaking of which, it's like my man, BJ Penn. Listen, one of the first MMA fighters I ever met in my life was BJ Penn. I went to UFC years ago. I liked to do comedy with Joe. I didn't know what was going on, but I got in a car with BJ Penn, and we laughed her ass off with Eddie Brown.

We laughed her ass off. So one of the real big fans that I was was a BJ Penn. For years, for the last five years, we've been watching hot BJ or cold BJ. We don't know who's going to show up. He shows up against Sanchez, but then he's huffing and puffing against this fucking guy. But that don't matter to me, man.

He's a great fighter. called him The Prodigy. And all of a sudden, he wants to fucking fight again. Out of the blue, I hate, wants to fight Roy and McDonald. You know, and he goes near the young night. And I tell you what, I kind of felt bad for BJ in the other night. And I love BJ with all my heart. Like I say, he's a great guy.

Hawaii, Joe goes to visit him once a fucking year or twice a year. That's tight. But it's like, BJ just fucking retire. Just retire. What did you think about them talking about that if you went down a weight class? Do you think that would help? Listen, just retire. There's a point where you see it, you just can't let it go.

And people know what I'm talking about at home. Even if he goes down to a weight class, I'm going to 1.55 with fucking monsters. 155 and 135 have monsters. I'm sorry, 140, whatever. 155 has Bernard Henderson, you know, who won, Diaz, and a ton of the fucking killers. And at 145, you see the Dennis Siever fight against Dan Fan

and all those motherfuckers? Where's he got to go? His best bet, he's a little older to retire, get the school going. He's got BJPenn.com. you know, get that kid. But after a while you could see it, that your desire is not in there.

You know, he said that whenever they talk about great fighters, they don't mention his fucking name no more because the train came and went. Yeah. It's like me, I'm fucking 50. I go to the laugh factory. I go to these clubs, and I see all these young comics,

I never fucking seen before, and they come up to me and call me, sir. Like, sir, are you fucking kidding me? You know, but that's the reality of your life. Like, you can handle it however the fuck you want. You can either accept that he was a two-time champion. multiple way classes, yeah Or keep coming back and huffing and fucking puffing

All the fucking time Now since I'm new to the UFC Did he ever coach the ultimate fighter? I don't remember right now Because I mean for I mean I've never even I don't even watch the show But for me that it seems like he'd be a good teacher And that might be a fun way to see him go Like one last season

But I just don't want it There's some people that you don't want to see fight no more You can tell even Paciard I mean he lost his last fight which is a rip off Yeah you know and then this one here Now he don't drink you don't smoke Once they tighten their act like that, it just don't, listen, it takes fucking

It takes a lot to go in a fucking ring And want to get smacked in the face. It takes a lot. And after you're 35, and you've got the wife and the kids and the whole fucking deal, you know, when you're 20, you'll fight a fucking tiger.

When I was 20, I would have gone up against a fucking tiger. That's how stupid I was, you know? That's how dumb you are. You're dumb, young, and full of fucking come. But, you know, you do what you do. So, BJ, I just hope you retire. Gustafin, uh, uh, show.

gun was a great fight, you know. The other fight, Benson Henderson against Diaz, I mean, Benson Henderson, I'm not a big, big fan of his, but man, he fucking put on an exhibition. I was pulling for my nephew, Nick Diaz, Nate Diaz, the Diaz brothers,

but shit happens sometimes, and that's just the way it is. So, it was a great card, you know? I think this week there's another card, and then you got Dos Santos, and that's it. My wife has the fucking baby. She stopped working, you know, cocksucker's life is done. So my wife is lingering all fucking day.

You know what that's like? That's like a lot of refa and hiding and shit, but no. You know, let me tell you, I'm having a good time with it. And it's weird. I'm learning a lot. You know, the first time I got married,

it was like 30 years ago, and in my heart I failed, you know, and it always fucked with me. So for her to come to me and go, I'm having a kid and all this shit. It's like, it's mind-bite. It's like I've been walking on a dream for 10 months. Yeah.

But thank God I got Twitter. Thank God we got the church of what's happening. Now I've got the flying Jew in the house. You know, you're looking at me. We got the poster that my buddy made for me. The church, we're in a fucking different corner of the house now. I got thrown out of the office because that's the baby's fucking room now.

So I'm on my own out there solo. But who gives a fuck? We're going to make it work. Me and Lee are going to get a new office this fucking week. And that's it, brother. You know what I'm saying? We're here with queerly. Let me tell you something.

I was someone a friend of mine. Last night, me and Lee went over to the Ha Ha Ha Cafe for the annual Christmas party. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. And you know what, man, we giggled our asses off. A lot of people laugh at the ha-ha, whatever. Let me tell you my adventures at the ha-ha. Years ago, I got a call to come out and do a spy at the ha-ha. They used to pay $25 bucks.

On a Saturday night, $25 bucks in this town was a lot of money 10 years ago, 13, 12 years ago, whatever the fuck. Because the store only paid $15. Yeah, and weren't they, like, not paying at some point, or was that before you passed that? Well, I don't know what the fuck it happened. The ha-ha was paying $25 bucks on Saturday nights. So I come up here one fucking Saturday night You know, I'm from Hollywood But I never really come to the valley

I didn't know much about I walking for that room And I see a bunch of fucking black and Mexican people I'm like, what the fuck is this shit? That's your crowd This is ghetto as fuck Yeah, no, it was a lot of fun And I've been there before for comedy But actually what this guy

I wanted to say Like I met Steve Simone last night He was a great guy And he said something to me He said he loves the ball breaking of comedy clubs and that's just watching the comics interact and I know I mean

there were a different crowd and there was music on but just I'm going to like a holiday party of like a regular office and then going to a comics holiday party it was a lot different It's a lot fucking different but it's funny

I walked into the ha-ha and I almost caused a riot on stage like some Mexicans were arguing with some black chick or something so I never walked back in there she didn't like me Terry Oh really? Yeah she didn't like me

I didn't think much of the fucking club, so I didn't go up there. And then what happened was I moved to the Valley. And I said, let me just walk down there. I mean, I could walk to the fucking hour if I really wanted to. Yeah, I'd tell the far. And I went down there, and, you know, when you do stand up, it's like anything else.

Sometimes you get caught up in just to work. The work is just Friday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. So during the week, you don't do nothing. You're right. You rest, you know, but when you sleep during the week, Because as a comic, you go on the weekends. You travel on the weekends. A lot of times, you won't perform from Sunday to Thursday.

It's something I don't like fucking doing. But when I was a regular at the store, I had the store to just go down there and you don't care. See, because sometimes you might come up with a fucking thought. Like, the idea I was looking at something about it on TV, that a lot of Americans are overexercising. How the fuck do you overexercise? And you still weigh 400 fucking pounds. When I think I overexercise, I think a guy coming into my office,

his rib is sticking out and shit. He hasn't stopped running for two fucking years. You know, I didn't know. So, like, you put down over-exercise, let's say. And then that night you go up on stage and you say over-exercise. Somebody pays $20 to come see you. You can't just go up there and talk about overexercise. They're going to look at you and go, Joey, what the fuck?

You have nothing prepared. There's no structure, which is the way I usually go up anyway. I'm not your usual stand-up comic. But what happens is it's called working out. So you have to go up there and work out the material. You add notes to it. You go to a comedy club. You say it again.

you know, you work out the fucking premise or whatever the fuck you're working out. I didn't have that for a long time. I was going to these rooms where people were paying me so I can't get to work shit out. So every performance was a fucking performance. As a comic, you need to spar like anything else. It's great to fight every, you know, a couple nights a week,

but you have to spar also during a week. And the ha-ha became that for me. And before I taped the Gabriel-Lasia thing, I used the ha-ha as my little training facility. For six weeks, no matter where I had to. comedy I'd stop and go to the ha-ha and you know duck it out with those people because it's a shootout it's not like going a laugh factory the comedy store you know when you go to a lot of rooms people are prepared to laugh a lot of rooms you go to as a bar they're not prepared to laugh

so you go to those rooms because you dare to make them laugh you're working out you know on Mondays I used to go to the sunset room down at fucking hasie end the heights it's a shoot-em-up bar you know what I'm saying they'll shoot you at that fucking place but you got to go in there and earn their fucking respect so that's where I was would do. I'd go on that on those type. Rogan laughs at me all the time. When he calls me, goes, well, yeah, I'm on a Mexican room. Gunning it out, because that's how you

want the best pressure you can get on you. You're only going to become the best if you go to those fucking clubs and work it out, but I find the happy media. So you go to comedy clubs and you go to those dirty bars, and together you come up with something. Yeah. Who the fuck knows, Lee? It's Monday. Hit me a little Sabbath, bloody Sabbath,

to get these motherfuckers going. Like, I told you once, I told you cock-suck-suckers a million times. Monday, you got a second chance of doing whatever the fuck you want again. So if you want to try comedy again, this is your week. You want to quit smoking again. This is your week. You want to try losing weight. This is your week. You want to try fucking your wife in the ass. This is your fucking lucky week. Get out there, cocksuckers. Hit it Lee. When I play this jam, it's because I'm on the fucking warpath and I want you, motherfuckers to be on the warpath. It's 11, 12, what is it?

15 days to fuck, 14 days to Christmas. Yeah. You don't want to have a shitty Christmas. Go out there, motherfucker go out there try to put together a yard two yards hit somebody in the head with a new chuck make your fucking paper because it's the holidays nobody wants to be broke on the holidays hit at Lee this morning I tried to get Lee to smoke a little piece of hash on me but I remember what happened the last time I gave my hash yeah what happened his face got fucking red and shit so I got bronchitis for fucking two months Lee won't smoke cash with me this morning so fuck him and shit the flying Jew doesn't want to get high on I smoke weed every morning but fucking for people have

it smoked hash, it's gonna last me fucking 10 hours, if I can get the fuck home and rush hour traffic. You put hash in it. No, I didn't. I put weed in it. Fucking, I can't put hash in it. You won't stop complaining and crying. I won't stop complaining. I can't. The day I gave him the hash,

even my wife had to go on there. His face was red. He was coughing. Smoking, Cucksucker. Look at him. He takes these little hits like it's a carrot. Smoke, beep. All the way. Let it feel you little. That's a boy. There you go, you fucking sobbing. No, one more. One more for the Navy.

One more for the Marines. Come on. How are you going to be in the Marines if you're not smoking dope? They can't be in the Marines if you smoke. They're smoking dope. What do they do before they drop over in a helicopter? Do you? They go in Natural.

They hit some fucking hashis. Trust me. I got friends over there. Hit that fucking. Look at you. You're blowing the reef all over the control center. Well, speaking, while I take this last hit, speaking of working out, how's the honest stuff working for you?

Let me tell you something. On it, I learned something last week because I started kickboxing. All right? So I went to this kickboxing. It's cool. And I thought my fucking endurance was down, but I take those little mushroom tech to sport. Shroom tech, yeah? A lot of shroom tech.

Let me tell you something, man, that's fucking an hour and a half for throwing sidekicks for Jesus. In fact, I pulled my fucking calf, jumping rope. I'm going to tell you something. I've been taking a lot of for the last three years since I've one of them fucking diet and the whole thing has started working. It's been about four or five years now. I've tried a lot of fucking supplements, you know, and I do a lot of a leave. Because when you're a fat fuck and you get out there and you walk where you run,

or you play basketball, your joints hurt. But most importantly, your knees hurt. If you jump up and down, you're a fat fuck. Like, I have no knock on wood. I don't really have a lot of problems with my back. But because of when I jump up and down, sure, you have shit with your back. And I'll squat and stuff with lightweight, but I won't have it. But when I jump up and down, like if I'm jumping rope or something,

my back hurts a little bit like it gets tight. And the lower back hand. And you'll do some yoga to stretch it out. But I tell you what, I took different protein patterns. I go to G&C sometimes. A buddy of mine has a protein powder company. It sends me some stuff. This doctor I went to see hooked me up with a different...

He gave me these different things to take. But Aubrey, one of the guys that we deal with, that I'm one of the owners, a good guy. You know, he sent me a box of stuff first. And, you know, Joe kept telling me, like, I was always on the alpha brain. I have to try the alpha brain, the new mood. That's it.

Yeah. But once I went on the protein and the fucking... I'll tell you what, that protein, I'll make those protein shakes every morning. They're a meal for me. It's either that, two eggs, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. So I'd much rather have the head force. Especially, because you've been doing a lot of stuff recently, so when you're on the go, it's a lot easier.

You know, man, it's just, listen, for years, people use that slim fast, and it was killing, motherfucker. There's nothing in there. At least with this you get a little nutrition. And come home at night instead of eating a fucking cheeseburger at two in the morning, make a protein shake. I'd rather you have a protein shake in you, especially since it has all that fiber running. You wake up on them. It's like eat an apple. I had to take two shits this morning. I eat an apple when I fucking get home at night.

You know, and before I go to bed, I try to get a nice apple. I got two different times. Oh, I love apples, man. I try to mix them up, the green ones, the light, fucking red ones. Anyway, go to Omnit. If you're a big guy, you want to lose some weight. Just try the hemp force. Try the fucking strong bone.

And try the shroom, the shroom tech, the sport. It gives you a little bit more energy for your walks. And just try it. Don't wait till the fucking December 31st to start your new year. year's resolution start now why put those extra 10 pounds on listen I'm not gonna lose weight over the holidays but I'm not gonna put none on either and that's the most important thing I'm gonna keep working out remember it's a little fucking bitter day guys it's not much see I wouldn't work out because I was like every other fucking American I don't have a half hour so I'm not gonna work out

listen you do four 20s if you do 20 fucking minutes of jumping up and down your living room whether it's squat and push-ups just the basics push-ups sit-ups sit-ups Jumping jacks, squat thrust on your wall, you know? That's it. You don't need to build all these machines. Get your health together. Worst comes to worst. Walked.

Walk to fucking Mars. You know, I had a friend Mike Ricker that used to walk from the valley into the comedy store. That my fuck I lost a lot of weight. If you want to lose weight, you could lose the fucking weight. I don't want to hear none of you motherfuckers saying, I can't. It's in my blood. There was a show last night, Drugs Inc. What's that?

What's that? Drugs Inc. is on whatever America, Gia. Not Gio. Okay. They have a show on every... Not Gio has a lot of great fucking shows. But they had a show on this week, Drugs Inc. It's on every...

And they go to different cities and see the trends of different cities and shit. They went to Miami. They went to New York a couple weeks ago. Yesterday was about meth in Montana. Oh, Jesus. How bad the fucking meth is in Montana.

But they busted this chickley that looked like me with a fucking wig on. And she had a skinny boyfriend. I don't understand. Meth makes skinny guys fuck big fat chicks. I never understood that shit. You know what? I love women.

I love the Lubshoes women. I love skinny women. I love women of every fucking sizes. But those big, big women I can't deal with. I really can't deal with because I'm scared. You know, I think about what that ass would smell like when you sniff it. Because that's my whole thing. I like just sniffing that ass from behind.

Sneaking up on it like a fucking lurp, you know, in Vietnam. And you sniff that. I love all that. So it's bigger. You could sneak up easier. No, no. When they're big like that, you're scared of the whiff. Because if you smell the whiff and it smells like a peanut butter sandwich,

you're fucking dead and berry. You're there. You got to commit. What are you going to do? You got to live with the fucking wood. I'm not saying fat people are stinky because I smell my fucking asshole. It's got some kick to it, but you put some water to it and everything. Put some water on it.

You got to put some water in that asshole and everything works out. It's not a fucking sea monkey. It ain't going to grow. You got to put some fucking sea monkey. I'm dropping some fucking knowledge on you cock's up. There's definitely some of it in there. I'm already feeling it. You what?

I'm already feeling it. Either that's really strong or that's a fucking ass. You feel about? What am I feeling the fucking pipe in your hand? You feel nothing with a pipe. Take one more hit. No, man. I don't know.

Torture me. You know, I usually, we smoke the fucking pen. Today, we wanted to go old school here. At the church, what's happening? Now, it's Monday. I'm going to let you motherfuckers down to church. It's like when I do go to church. You know, when I go to church, I do a fucking bonk.

Do you finish the whole bomb? Fuck yeah! You're a soldier. Jesus don't want half-fucking wits at this goddamn church. What did you do for Hanukkah yesterday? Nothing. I'm waiting until I go home. I'm just going to do with my family.

What are you guys doing on a hukkah? Just have family over. You got cousins in Boston? Yeah, I've got a bunch of them in Boston. And they show up with the homicas on, the whole fucking deal? Well, yeah, especially when there's presents coming. But it's actually my favorite meal of the year, actually. What do you guys eat?

Brisket? Brisket and the potato loggies, which is like hash browns. And some green beans. Oh, shit. It's so good. And that's what the fucking... German, that's what the Germans, the Jew soldiers ate in it. I don't know

it's my favorite thing my mom makes, so that's all I know. I don't have a movie for you guys today. I usually like to give you something. I got music for you today, but I'll do it after the call. I just want to touch on something. The other day, I got a fucking twit from a kid name Matt Maxwell.

He almost made me cry. Really? Yeah, he almost made me cry Matt Maxwell, and I'll tell you, I did fucking cry. Let's, let's, I'll tell you why guys because I always want to give you guys the best shit I'm always thinking about movies and music for you guys just or a book or something to entertain you guys on top of flavor and fucking the flying Jew it's not about us I want to give you shit to take home with you for later just to see where my head is at I you know I like to see what makes people's

take that's me I like people say hey he listens to this he doesn't because I understand and I don't I still keep getting Tom Waits things but we'll get to that shit later one of the guys that I fucking respect, one guy that makes me tick, I'm a silly, dumb fuck. And one of the guys that has, and I seen him one time in Miami, and I almost died. Well, this guy Matt Maxwell said to me, hey, Joey, why don't you cover any Mel Brooks movies? Guys, I almost broke out into fucking, like, hysterics, because how could I have forget Mel Brooks? This is a fucking reef, you got to stop smoking it, Lee. Don't bring it over here no more with that black hash, cucket.

Save it for your Puerto Rican buddies. You know, you forget about the things that inspired you as a kid. Like, what are he fucking out of him? Even though he's fucking his stepdaughter now, I mean, you know, he's a filthy fucking animal. But, you know, can you believe it? When he fucked this kid, nobody said nothing. Sandusky touches a kid. They sent him to jail for 80 fucking years.

He's asking for, like, a lesser, like a less harsh prison sentence. Yeah, yeah, they're going to give it to him. They're going to send him to fucking, you know, club med, that fucking Momo. But, you know, this guy slept with his stepdaughter, whatever. And I love him. He's a, you know, a lot of his movies are fucking, but I grew up on those movies. And when you watch my comedy, when you listen to me talk, believe it or not, Woody Allen's in me. I like all that shit.

I love Woody Allen. But this guy, Mel Brooks, this guy's an old school German Jew. Don't even happen. They got like four of those motherfuckers walking around. They tried to stab themselves. You know what I'm saying? A German Jew. What do you do?

What the fuck do you do? Uh-huh. But he came over here and he. German Jew? A German Jew fucking amazing. but he could be a Russian Jew whatever he's a Jew that's all that matters he's solid like the rock of fucking

Gibraltar so when I was a kid bro it was always Mel Brooks that made me fucking laugh from young Frankestine I mean I gotta be honest you the first time I see the first time I see young Frankenstein it was so over my fucking head it was so over my fucking head bro

I didn't know what the fuck they were talking about I had to watch like three or four times and now I watch it and I fucking love it history of the world part one, silent motherfucking movies. I love that one. Silent movies, when they're all eating at that restaurant, and it's a sign as this hot, hot food and all that

shit. When they go see what's his name in the hospital, and the machine is going, beep, and they used to have a game in the 70s where it was like ping pong, where you play back, and they start playing all that shit, I will never forget that. I can live to be 80. That's a comedy I grew up in. You smoked a joint on fucking Saturdays, between eight kids, and you walk to the movie theater and that's what you watch

and on the walk home those two hours you just discussed the movie that you just watched you broke it down the comedy parts you just went fucking nuts and it's an amazing thing so if you get a chance I'll cover all the movies I talked about I think the movies were Young Frankenstein history of the motherfucking world

oh blazing saddles he's a nigger and high anxiety and one of my favorites Robin Hood, Men and Tights, which I know half of you fucking Momo seen. The other shit, you're like, Joey, we're fucking 20, Joey. We've never seen history of the world.

We'll watch that shit. I grew up on Mel Books. When I was a kid, there was a guy, Benny Hill, a fucking English dude on TV. You don't know who Benny Hill. I know who he is a guy. 10.30 at night every night on Channel 9. Listen, you'd rather have 10 black guys fucking he ass than miss the fucking show.

You understand me? You did not miss Benny Hill. For starters, Once a week a chick's tit popped out when you were like 11, and you couldn't live without that tit. You needed that tit when you were 11. That shit got you through. For a fucking... For a fucking week, you understand.

You need that tit. You do need a tit. When you're 11 or 12, you know, your mom hasn't given you the tit in fucking 10 years. Now you're ready for a hot, juicy tit, but from a different fucking perspective. So what do you do? What do you want to do? You can't find a tit when you're 12. You can't suck your sister's titty.

You know what I'm saying? You got to find a little. the tit outside the realm and Benny Hill would deliver it. There was no porn when I was a fucking kid like now. I told you. You want to watch porn? You got to hang a sheet on the wall and put the videos together and invite your friends and have a lookout. That's too much.

That's too fucking much drama. Now you can have porn just, is somebody calling? Not yet. So that's, what was my point anyway? What the fuck? You love Mel Brooks. And another one, which you didn't mention. And he's done it a bunch of times and it's getting a little bit, it's not as good as it was.

but the original producers I love the original but you're right you're right I'm sorry that's his first movie I think it's like 1960s or something like that the producers were that scene where he's freaking out and then he pours water on him I'm hysterical

I'm hysterical I'm in pain I'm in pain and I'm wet let me tell you something I seen him at the Miami improv before his I know his wife died like in 2005 and I see him at the Miami Improv and he was watching the show with somebody you know, at the man, and he walked out,

and he looked at me, and he walked up to me, and he looked me straight to the face, he goes, kid, you would have been somebody 20 years ago. Oh my God. Your style is 20 fucking years old, and he walked out. Do that I kill you? Not at all. That's Mel Brooks, brother.

If he came up to me and called me a spick, fat fuck, I'd still be proud. There's some people who will come up to you and call you with fucking ever the fuck they want, because that's who they are, bro. He was one of my ear, and I don't mean it like that, because I don't want people to think, Joey, call me a cuck-sucker.

No. What I meant was that, you know what, man, I looked up to that guy. Before I even dreamed of doing any of this league, before I ever dreamed of doing any of this shit, I looked up to those guys, whether it was him or Benny Hill, the honeymoon, and Sanford and Son.

That was my comedy, man. That's where I got that piece from, you know? Eddie fucking Murphy, we're going to cover trading places in 48 hours the next couple weeks because that's a, you know, comedy and inspiration to do whatever the fuck you do

is one of the biggest things you'll never forget and it doesn't have to be comedy-wise my biggest inspiration is Julius Irving you know Carl and Fisk you know pudge I love all that shit that's what made man flavor

oh shit oh shit oh shit what's what's going on fellas what's up buddy it's my main man Danny B what's up my man I was trying

you know I'm doing fucking good it's Monday It's December 10th. We're 15 days away from Christmas. How about you, my friend? I'm doing good. I know you guys might be a little disappointed expecting Gary to call him,

but I don't know what happened to him. That's okay. No, no, no. He couldn't make it. He might... No, no. Gary could call whenever the fuck he wants, just like you, bro.

You guys are family. I ain't mad at you. I know, I know, but I still... I don't know what came off. Maybe meditation. It is Monday morning. Maybe he's scoping out some banks. He's looking for some...

Christmas cash, God only knows where he is. So I hope he joins you up Wednesday or the next show you have, Cokes. God bless him. How's he hanging out? How's he making out? You know what? He spent a lot of time in North Jersey. He picked up a little bit of work here and there, and, you know, I'm concerned for him.

I really am. I'm concerned that he's going to go over the top, you know? He wants it overnight. You know what it's like when you get out of prison, 21 years? He's just trying to make it up too fast, so I'm a little concerned about him, Joe. You know, he's a good kid, but he's mental. He's got it this way. He's so fucked up.

He bought my kid Grandfafth Auto as a gift, and the kid's three years old. Grand theft auto, three years old, and the kid's pretty good at it, too. So, you know, it's kind of concerning. Now, who's good at it? Your son or your brother? My son, Gary bought Grand Theft Auto for my three-year-old son, Grand theft auto, and the kid's good at it, and I'm a little concerned he's following an Uncle Gary's footsteps there, Coco.

He wants to go to police stations and kill cops. Who does? He does. cops are bad my son oh jesus he wants to go to police stations and shoot cops

oh jesus i told him you can't do that you got you got a fucking savage on your hands doesn't he's a nut he's a nut he's a good kid he just likes playing with guns

and killing cops it's not my you know i don't know what to do it and maybe it's in him i don't know but uh besides that life is good been on a toilet bowl all night shit my brain's out got a little case of stomach virus that's what happened when you have young kids.

But besides that, I feel good. A little depleted from shitting out my insides, but get ready for tonight's game. And, you know, I'm looking forward to seeing pictures of your newborn, buddy. Yeah, pretty soon. Two more weeks, three more weeks. My wife's getting big. This is scary, Danny.

This is fucking scary. I never knew it would get to it. You know, Danny, at 50, I thought the cops were going to be knocking on my door for something I did 30 years ago. Not a, my wife telling me she's going to have a kid. So it's a little fucking scary, you know? But you know what, Danny?

That's what makes guys like you and me tick. It's just a little bit of fear. It's just a little bit of fear. You know what, though? You know, I never was afraid of shit. You know what, I had balls as big as China, but since I've had kids, I think twice about doing this and doing that. You have.

For instance, the other day, this guy pissed me off. He violated me, and normally he wouldn't be around no more. But I had to catch myself and think about the children. And, you know, so, yeah. fear kids put fear in here you know losing this and years ago I was reckless didn't give a fuck about jack shit and I think we all did growing up in that neighborhood so you know and I'm listening I heard that your show went well San Diego you packed them in as always huh yeah yeah yeah no wasn't San Diego where he came to say oh no no the the J-mo brothers came to

Ontario Ontario yeah I'm in what he says to me he goes yeah he he he says he kind of always has to mention that we're in there. You know, James Dryuma, he goes, you know, Coco says, yeah, there's my guys from Norberg, and he says, I really wish he wouldn't do that to me. He kind of embarrasses me when he does that. James has changed over the years. He's not the same

funny guy as he used to be. Well, he's too. He had kids, too. He's got kids, too. You know, I mean, Greg will always be your boy. Greg's the last of the real Mohicans, but it's like I'm talking about when we were, you know, before you got involved in anything, Danny, I know you got a little fear to you.

stomach flaps, something, and then you go, who the fucking might have be scared? I'm going for this motherfucker. That's what happens to me when I get a little scared. Like, even when I go do comedy now, at this fucking point, Danny, I've been doing comedy all my fucking life. Two seconds before I go on stage, I'm like, why don't I even come down here?

I don't want to be here. I don't want to ever do comedy again. And then as I walk up there, it's like North Bergen comes into me. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck what they think or what they don't think. I'm going to go up there and I'm going to bring them into my motherfucking world. And you know what? Your world is a funny world, and you are always good at that, though, you know?

You don't give yourself enough credit, man. You're always funny, always likable, always had us laughing from as long as I can remember. Remember Joe and Marys when Turtle Dick? Didn't you days to call you Dick Turtle Dick or something like that? Turtle Nick. Turtle Nick. Joe Marys, that's funny you mentioned Joe Marys, bro. I was fucking sitting here the other day, thinking about those sandwiches that they used to have in

Joe Marys. Remember, they used to have them in like a little circle, and there was always a fly in there. There was always a little fly in there. So when you came up, you had to pull this thing up, like it was a cake underneath. It was like a cake, and there was these little homemade sandwiches. But the best thing was that chicken thing

next door, chicken D. Remember? Was it Chicken D, Danny? You remember the time, and then my mother had the 50th party for her husband, and nobody showed up, so I went into Joe and Marries, and I corralled all you guys, and we celebrated my mother's husband's 50th party at the VFW.

What I did was I went into Joe and Marys. Nobody liked this motherfucker. I don't know why she wasted her time. So she invites all these people. Nobody shows up, so I just hail down, I go into Joe and Marys. I grab everybody out of the bar. Unfortunately, nobody ate the fool because they were all geeked up on the shit, on the marching powder. But, yeah, I can think back.

We had some blast, man. You know, you always fun. You always made me laughing. Remember the bartender Lila? Lila used to have a dog, a golden retriever. Lila, she killed herself. She killed herself, you know. She jumped off a building or something,

but she used to have a dog, and I would get so coaked up that I piss on the dog. I swear to God, I'm ashamed to admit it today. I would take my dick out while she was getting me a vodka tonic, whatever, and I would piss on the fucking dog.

To this day, I don't know why. That's how unhappy I was with life. And that was the whole thing to see who could piss on the dog. Me, Conti, Fernie, and Holloway would see who could piss on the dog from that distance. Oh, Holloway.

I had a dream about, remember how fucked up he used to get where he couldn't talk, and to get him home at night, we used to put him in a cab with a note. With a note on his chest. He had to get home because he couldn't talk to the cab driver. He could not. He'd stick the note right on his shirt. My name is Roger. I live at 149 Gray Street.

He lived at 149 Grey Street. Dirty years later, I still remember that because he would tell you that every day. How you doing? I'm Roger Howley from 149 Grey Street. You got a problem. You come to 149 Grey Street. He would tell you, I remember one that we got really coked up, and we put him in a cab by 7-11. Is that one of the nights you're talking about, and he had the sign on his chest?

There was a few nights, Joe, a few nights that we did that, and I know that address very well, because I dropped enough money off to his father from losing on gambling back in a day. That's right. Mr. Holloway was a great dude, but most of my visits there were to drop money off. I very seldom collected back. Do you remember the Gabby? Remember the chick Gabby that used to suck Dick? there was a lot of them up there

yeah but yeah i know gary yeah if joel mary's 90% of those girls that's what they did that's what they did but gabby i remember gabby got taken home one day by twigs you want to talk about sucking dick you want to talk about sucking dick real quick i went to uh mario canton's fucking uh party the other day that the comedian yeah nathan lane all those all those gay comedians there

there was a lot of dick sucking going on there Friday night it was pretty pathetic actually but i felt it was nice to need those guys, but I was in a room full of queers. It was kind of getting uncomfortable because they had their eye on me. I'm still good looking now. I know you are. They still got their eyes on me. They were looking at you. They want that fucking biancuhu. They want that

bianculo. So we went down to we went down to fucking Holloways. Listen to this, Danny. We went down to Holloway's house and he's got Gabby down there and he's got Twed Stephen Edwards down there. And he's got Gabby in his kitchen and he's eating her pussy. Gabby

has fucked 15 guys this weekend all coked up and Roger's eating her fucking pussy like it's the last pussy in the United States. So he has to go to the bathroom. So he goes to the bathroom when he comes back tweds his fucking in the kitchen and he's heartbroken Roger. He looks at it and he's like Gabby

what the fuck you're doing? And she's like, you left and he goes off he goes fuck you you fucking pig and she goes pig you're a pig you're the one that ate me. Yeah you know I don't remember Roger Yeah, they're having a girlfriend so I can see him falling hard for her.

But, yeah, I remember Gabby. I remember all those girls, Jeannie Abramowitz, still a nice girl. Teja, I think Keisha's down in Florida, Tasia Romano, right? Tasia Romano's in Florida. We had some good times, man. I wish I could fucking turn back the clock. Oh, me too. Just turn it back for a little bit.

Just, we had some good times back in the day. As much as I hated Tommy Rousseau, the rat bastard that he is, and we all know what he did to us up there, All those times was, you know, you think back, we had some fucking fun. We really did. Remember out to Colorado to visit you? Oh, my God. I always remember that, remember where the fuck was that famous general that you were babysitting his house up in Aspen?

Remember. He had this big-ass house up there. We used to visit you and get fucked up up there and, God, it was some fun times. Hey, do you remember, uh, what the fuck was I going to say to you? You were talking about some general. Ah, who gives a fuck? Uh, Tasia lives in Florida. She got pregnant with what's his name's kid, you know, they killed the couple or whatever.

Frankiavella, Frankiavella. Me and Taysia were really fucking tight, man. And the other day I'm way down the Long Beach, I was thinking about how tight we were. Do you remember when her house burnt down and the insurance company put her at the hotel? I do. Yep, they put her in the Hasbrook Heights Sheridan right there where the giants used to stay. And I remember that like it was yesterday because back in the day, you know, I hung out with Gina, Tasia, Jeanne. We had all the white broads around us,

and we're in a hotel full of giants and the generals, the New Jersey generals, Doug Flewis. I've told this story before when I see Hershal Walker, he still remembers me. I see Hershal Walker at UFC events, and he still fucking remembers me. Me and Ari Shafi, I go, Ari, he's going to say something to me. And this motherfucker still remembered me. Yeah, he was the man.

Herschel, the man on CBS. I remember fucking, I remember asking Lawrence Taylor at the Hasbrokeye. That hotel, I asked Lawrence Taylor if you wanted to do a blast of Coke in the bathroom, and he told me to get the fuck out of the bathroom. They got me thrown out of the fucking hotel that cock sucker. Well, I got one better. A member of Curtis McGriff, he played on a Super Bowl year with them back when they beat the Broncos. Yeah.

Curtis McGriff, he had bumped into him in the sports bar there, and I had the white girls, and sure enough, he wanted to hang out. So he came back to the room that night, about 4 o'clock in the morning. Guys will be sitting on the bed. The bed frames touching the floor. The girl's a paranoid, all fucking huddled up, because he had his eyes on him like he was going to eat him up. So we finally get rid of him about 7 o'clock, 8 o'clock in the morning, and about 9 o'clock I hear it tapping on the door. He shows up with racquetball things in his hand.

He wants me to go play racquetball with him. I just looked at it. I'm like, fucking crazy. The girls are still scared to this day. But yeah, we have some fucking fun, man. If North Bergen, man, I can, wow. I want to cry. I want to cry sometimes, Danny.

I want to cry because I want to describe to these people. Like my friend Lysayat, the Flying Jew here, he's 24 years old, and Friday night he was worried about moving. He couldn't sleep all night because he's moving in a month. Are you fucking kidding me? When I was 24, I didn't sleep because I had 25 fucking grams of blowing me. I didn't worry about dick. The only thing I worried about was where the next bachelor is going to come from.

It's fucking crazy. Right. We always thought, how about the fucking the rides in the middle of the night at Spanish Harlem, 2 o'clock, 3 o'clock in the morning, just showing up, knocking on Dominican's doors. And we did some crazy fucking shit. North Bergen definitely is the armpit of the world. You know, and when I drive through the area every once in a while,

because I got that place on the water, I drive up the hill, man. It's just, I don't know. It's not the same, man. It just lost its flavor. The people have changed. The only place that's still there is Venerys and Hashways. No, Hashways is done. Hashways is done.

The only thing that's left is fucking Veneers. You know, there's a story that. You guys. Romers. Romers. Romers. The fucking Charlie Romers. The fucking Pizzerie, that's still there.

I want to know, I want to know if you were part of this. I was not there, but I heard that one night you guys were at that hotel and you took home four or five giants to the fucking Charpals's bar. They went to the midtown and opened up the bar at six of the million. Yeah, I was. I was. I was there. Curtis McGriff was one of them. Yep.

I was fucking. And Lenin Marshall. Lenin Marshall. Because. And you guys were asking if you wanted watermelon and shit like that. You guys were torturing them or something I heard. But, yeah, we, we had balls. You know, we were all fucking crazy ourselves.

You know, we had fun at their expense. I remember having fucking Daryl Dawkins and Ray Richardson at my house party and then they used to put the cocaine on the refrigerator so nobody else can get it. That's what this. That's what this. You remember Joe? Yeah, you remember Joe Vetter? Joey Glass, they call them.

I remember Joel from West New York that he was a ball boy. That's who got us hooked up. Right, Joe Vetter. Joe Vetter. Joe Vetter. He's the one that got us hooked up. but that's Harry the cat. But he's the one that got us hooked up.

You know, it's funny. A friend of ours, Jordan Lee, who's an avid listener to the podcast, went to a card signing thing, and he's seen Daryl Dawkins, and he asked Daryl Dawkins. He goes, it's a kid, Joey Diaz, Coco, blah, blah, blah.

He goes, I remember that motherfucker coming over to my house and snorting Coke on top of the refrigerators. He had the car with the 14-carat dashboard. But I heard this, that you guys took the Giants to Sharples his bar, like five in the morning, opened it up, everybody was drinking, but Mr. Sharples came in about 11 o'clock in the morning,

and he's Irish and racist, and he came in, and you're like, Mr. Sharples, not you. You're like, Mr. Sharples, look, the giants, he goes, giant smites, get these niggas out of my fucking bar or something like this. That was a room I heard. Yep, I was definitely there. I think it was 86, 87, but yeah, he was pretty biased, and I missed that place. Some of my best memories come from that place. Great food there, great people.

All the lunch at the midtime. Jimmy Shuffles reminded me to John Candy You know funny as hell Nice guy There was something else I wanted to tell you about You know what the last thing? Joe Vetta

Introduced us to Dawkins And I remember You know he was a big fiend He'd run out of blow Two or three o'clock knocking on my door Another had no money He shows up with a size 16 pair of sneakers He goes

Yeah these are Darrell Dawkins What can I get for this I'm what the fuck you want me to do Sleep in those things They're fucking you know Yeah we had some fucking laughs but, you know, if the walls could talk, North Bergen has a lot of tales to tell,

even to this day, corruption scandals, half the coaches that are coaching the high school team are selling Coke and taught to the players. It's a fucking mess. And that's the first place I used to buy weed from, Mr. Pullman, that fucking Mr. Pullman guy used to sell us a lot of fucking weed. Danny, I sit here and I tell you,

I look at my life now, my wife's going to have a baby, I see the people I have around me, and I have, like, nice people like Lee, and I think back to my child. I cannot fucking believe it. But, you know, knowing that you guys are there, the reason why I love talking to you, man, is because you make me who the fuck I am.

I never wanted to stop being from North Bergen. I just moved out of North Bergen, but I never wanted to stop being who the fuck I was. And I could tell you never stopped being who the fuck you were, you know, and that's the most important thing. I left North Bergen, but I'm still 100% North Bergen. Yeah, well, you know what, we're all proud of you. You know, fuck everybody else that's haters.

There are some haters. out there, jealous, whatever, but I'm proudy. I'm so happy. You never really had a fair shot in life, and you made the most of it. You know, your childhood was fucked up. You bounced around from family to family, and everybody loved you. You know, you were a long shot, Charlie.

You were a long shot, and you overcame, you took your skills, and you made it, and fuck everybody else. We were long shots. Why do you think I'm unprepared right now at 50? I didn't think I was going to be alive at 50. I didn't think I was going to be alive at 45, or 40. I didn't fucking eat. even dream of that. I look at, I look at my wallet, Danny, and I'm part of a union. I look at a,

I look at my wallet, Danny, I'm part of the screen actors guilt. How the fuck is that? How did that happen? How did that fucking happen? Perseverance. I'll tell you how it happens. Perseverance, you would never take no for an answer, and you were talented. And what you did was you never gave up on yourself, and by all rights you could have, but you didn't. And you persevered, you persevering Hollywood? It's not easy out there, pal. What you're doing is not easy. I was in a room full of comedian slash actors, struggling actors, successful actors Friday night. I heard their stories.

It doesn't happen overnight, bro. You're going to get yours. Your day's coming, man. Ronnie Dangerfield didn't hit it big until he was, what, in his late 50s? Yeah. You're just starting, brother. You're going to make it, man. Everybody's going to know Joey Cocoa Diaz is a household name,

and I got a great response from people that listen to your podcast, whether it was Tim Donagy calling, or myself, or hopefully to Hill Gary here soon, but you're very well received. People love your show, they call you a funny motherfucker, and you are. We try to be, Danny, but the whole thing is

the honesty, man. I'm not fucking around with these people. I don't have time to fuck around with people. I see what everybody else is doing on podcast and radio, and they're fucking faking the funk. I don't want these people to get the misinterpretation of me. Yes, I robbed fucking Michael's

Jewelers, but today this is what I do. Don't judge me on that. Judge me on what the fuck I do, and we'll get along just fine. I mean, I love what I do, Danny. I really do. And, you know, everybody talks about iPhones and iPads. You said something that destroyed me. You said you really fucking gambled on yourself.

And at the end of the day, that's the only lock you have in life is yourself. The only lock we have in life is us. Look at tonight. New England's giving three and a half to fucking Houston, 51 on the 11 on the over and under. You can sit here. Lee can sit here and we go back and forth on who we like. We don't know. We don't know. It's just an assumption. But I'll tell you what. When I tell you, I'm going to get up in the

morning, I'm going to write 10 pages, and I'm going to go to the gym. I do that. I know we control our fate. So, that's what we're trying to put out there. That, you know, being from North Bergen, they focused on us, me. What the fuck am I going to do today? And how am I going to make the fucking world better? That was the whole thing about North Bergen. We learned by the day. You know, Lee says to me, how do you do that? You don't think about the future because we live for today.

Today is the most fucking important. How are we going to make it happen today? How is our family going to be happy? How are we going to snort blow today? How am I going to get on stage tonight? How are we going to smoke weed? That's the most important thing, brother. So who do you like tonight? Give it to me straight, brother.

I'll tell you what. I got to go with the home team tonight. As far as the total, I don't know about a lot of points. It's early in the day. You know, Joe, me, one of the things that I use to my advantage and you're right, it is a crapshoot. It's one game tonight. I track guys that bet a lot of money. The reason that I'm successful at this is because I keep, and I learned this over the course of time, to keep my emotions and my opinions

aside, track the guys that are making some big money, guys that move $20,000, $50,000 a game, and I have that to my advantage because I can call these offshore casinos. So I'm going to go with the Patriots right now. It's up to minus four now. It's up to minus four, but I wouldn't go crazy on it. They're both in the playoffs. I guess there's some home field that they're playing for, but I'd have to give a nod to Tom Brady at home. You know, I think Texas is a hell

of a squad, but I think they're outmatched at New England. It's hard to beat New England at New England. That's why I love you, brother. I'll give you a call later. Do you call me any time and please? Put me on one of the first list to call me when you have

your baby. Please do that. I want to come out there. I want to come out there and be in the studio with you and your boy Lee and I want to do a podcast live with you. Whatever you want, brother, you always welcome to this fucking house. You're like, you're like, uh, you're like, you're like, what's his name? You'll manja in Las Vegas,

you manja. Will you eat wherever the fuck you want? I love you, Danny. Danny, what's the webpage? I love you for the locks today. I love that GoDaddy commercial. I love that a Goddadi fucking commercial. You're killing me with that. But listen, brother, I'll get in touch with Gary. It's not, then he's

locked up and we'll have to wait a few more years, But I think that, I think he's in his fucking meditation thing. He does this fucking routine for two hours every morning, prison-related. You know, so he'll get over that in a little bit, Joe. But listen, man, anytime you need me, you need some help, vice versa, Joe, you know where I'm at. I love you, Dean. Lee, what's the web page they go to? Oh, you know, you can check me out at dannyb wins.com.

Dannyb.wins.com. Very simple to access. Anybody that mentions your show, obviously, I do them justice. We've had some real characters call me from your show, Joe, and I'll tell you later about one particular from Texas. Okay. But listen, it's always a pleasure. I enjoy listening to your show.

You make me fucking laugh. 50 years old, 30 years later, you're just as funny as you are. It's not funnier than you were when we were growing up on the streets, brother. I love you, baby. Don't forget about me. I'll never do that. Stay black. Don't you go Hollywood on me, Joe Diaz.

Don't you forget about me? Fuck no. I'm here with you to the end, to the wheels fall off, right? brother like my wife. There you go. I'm going to come out there soon, brother. After the holidays, we might take a trip out to see the family. Want to see James and Greg and their mom, Aunt Marge.

You should get her on your fucking show. She's got stories. She's got more stories than Dr. Seuss. Oh, she got more stories to me. You have a good show, a good day. And if you need to call me, call me. I'm in and out today. But have a great day, my friends out there.

Wee. Good luck to you with your new ventures. you move or whatever Joe said you're doing. Thanks. Joey, good luck. You're always, pal. Take care, buddy. Have a nice day, guys.

You too. Goodbye, Hollywood. I'll see you soon. Bye, bye, bye. Bye, bye. How you like that shit? I want to give some shout-outs today. Some beautiful people who follow us.

They follow the show. George Rialvo, Joe Newman, Josh Galavez, Kyle Marley, I love you, Cocksucker, John Demon, New York, and Jason Piper. And as always, my main fucking man. Farhide, Ali, this motherfucker, this motherfucker, this mother fucker, doing this thing up there.

Lee, what's happening, brother? How are you feeling? You coming down on that fucking reefer? You ready for some more? No, I had enough. What's the problem? What do you mean you had enough? Nothing's a problem, but fucking I got to drive home.

Also, I'll be on the couch all day. More more, for the fucking bad leg. You're going to go home, you're going to do some jumping. Well, I'm just fine. Who are you kidding? You're going to take another hip-up. I blow it into the thing so the people at home see you ain't fucking around. This ain't no fucking one of these jackass fucking podcast.

We're doing it here. Thanks to On It. Go to On It, see what they got. Send somebody a fucking Christmas. They got gift certificates. They got a bunch of stuff there that you might use. They have packages you can choose from. So if you don't want the Shroom Tech,

you can get the fucking new mood, the Alpha Brain and the Protein Powder. Or you get the protein powder, the Alpha Brain and the motherfucking Strong Bone. Or you don't need the fucking protein powder. You can eat a bunch of tuna and you get the Strong Bone. the fucking alpha brain and the new mood, and you get your life together.

Trust me, drink a lot of water, you know, do what you need to do. Get some fucking sleep. Most important thing. I never used to fucking sleep. You know that shit, Lee? Yeah, you tell me, you'd take sleeping pills and wake up for two hours a little. I would fucking, I never used to sleep. And that's a big mistake because everything happened.

You rest up, your 5th HP restores in your fucking brain, and you can come out and throw some goddamn heat at these motherfuckers every day. Don't forget, Thursday night. I'm at the Mad House Comedy Club in San Diego. Tickets 719 712 6666 I think that's the fucking number If not go to the mighthouse.com webpage San Diego Madhouse Comedy Club

I'll be down there rocking that motherfucker Thursday night solo I think I'm bringing Jerry LaRoca And my man the Mexican is coming down here with me My brother George Perez That's a good lineup That's a great lineup and I like that club I drove down from L.A. and went to that club a couple times I know you like it down there

How long it'll take you to drive down two fucking years ago? No, I drove to the ha-ha with him last night. This motherfucker was doing 18 on Coenga with a light green. I wasn't sure where we were going. And for people who don't know, it's a fucking small street. And he's like, he's like, book it. And it's like, there's eight different stop signs. There's no cops.

There's nothing. The light is green. And this motherfucker's doing 10 under the speed limit. Asking me questions about cats or whatever. Step on it. Cut a fucking Asian off like an Asian. Get out there. You like an Asian.

I love you fucking Lysayat. You're the last of the real Mohicans. Before Danny Cald we were talking about music. And last week I got a lot of slack. People always said to me, Joey, you know, you put Tom Waits down. I know for you fucking waspy fucks that like to go to fucking people's parties with your little hats on and try to always be cool.

Like, I don't lift weights. I do calisthenics. You know, they always want to be one up on you. You should do this. You know, fuck you bitch. you should shut your fucking mouth. I did say that about Tom Waits, and it's funny because I have a good friend Rick Ramos,

a movie guy, he does the movies with me. And he's a big Rick Waite, whatever, Tom Wait, whatever the fucking guy's name is. And he kept telling me about him, and then I put him on a couple times. It was just horrendously bad. And the other day I got in the car at like 8 in the morning and go to a meeting,

and the radio station was talking about John about weight, how bad he was. How bad is this shit? And he's a rock station, K, whatever. and he was like, how bad is this shit that, you know, we have to sit here and tell people that this is good, this is really bad. And I never want to sit there and say,

because this is probably a lot of people saying, I'm fucking really bad, and that's okay, but Tom Waits is fucking bad, right? And you're like, Joey, well, what gives you the perica's there? What do you know, who are your favorite singers? All right, you know, I'm not saying Robert Plant's my favorite singer, I'm whatever. I'm saying there's a lot of great singers out there, and I hit you, and I throw singers at you guys from all fucking over,

you know? one of the best singers that I have ever seen all my life is it well Marvin Gare never really saw alive in concert or whatever but one of the best singers I ever saw period was June of 78 I was in the eighth grade and I went to five-star basketball camp on a scholarship and I missed my graduation but when I came back my friend Vinnie Lynch and Joe Ray and all these guys gave me a ticket to go see the stones and far in Philadelphia and I took window paint acid which is the strongest fucking acid. The first time I took acid, I didn't fuck around me. I took window pain acid. I was 13. I couldn't leave my fucking hotel room. It was horrendously bad. It was a

terrible experience. I walked down. Big Jagger had an American flag on. It was fucking great. So the second concert, it wasn't really my second concert. It was my second tickets with these guys. These days, you didn't buy tickets. How you do today. You mailed a money order for four tickets, and they put you in a machine, and if you won, you got four tickets in the mail. You got a letter saying that you had four tickets coming or they send you the money or the back. They say you a checkback. And one of the tickets that my friends went to see me get me for a band called Bad Company and the album was Desolation Angels. And I went to the Nassau Coliseum to see them. I don't know who the opening band was. And those days I was still fucking

greener and green and I wouldn't even pay attention to the opening band like an asshole that I was. and I went out there and bad company played and I remember sitting there going wow I had gone to see aerosmith before and I had gone to see the police at that time and I'd gone from maybe four or five concerts and they were good I got something out of it but the singer didn't sound like the album

and that bothered me a little bit was that was he lying to us yeah was it and people said no no no you know when they go to studios it's like here they have the filters and they clean it up and all this shit So I didn't really After that I understood

I went to see Rob Harford from Judas Priest That guy could sing live There was a lot of guys that could sing like Leap, don't fall asleep It's just a fucking reef creeping up on you I'm not asleep But Paul Rogers' voice was amazing

And shortly after that I think that was their last album Desolation Angels Then he went on to do other things And then he did a band With the singer from Led Zeppelin I forget what the fuck their name was With Jimmy Page in 85

I'm radioactive. I didn't really like that stuff. I didn't like none of that shit. Then a couple of years ago, I'd forgotten all about Paul Rogers. My wife likes bad company. We listened to the first album. We listened to the one with the dice. And there's another one, Burning Sky. They have four albums, I think, but Burning Sky. Fucking Great Albs. Well, a lot of people don't know about bad companies. They were on the same label as Led Zeppelin.

That's fucking. They were managed by the same. That guy didn't waste his time. What reason is it? Is that something you guys would pay attention? to like this label does this and this so I'll at that time yeah like you know fuck Led Zeppelin had this label that it was two wings big wings you know like physical graffiti and the last one the one before that I forget what the label was but bad company was also on that label and they were also managed by that big fucking

gangster from England so I'm like how good of these guys you know and I always like bad company but I forgot about him and one night I'm sitting in my living room in Hollywood, I'm about to go get a fucking ramble blow, and VH1 is having an honors with Queen. And the singer is Paul Rogers, this fucking singer. And, you know what, I'm a little stoned, and I'm watching. Hit it Lee. Which one do you undo? A VH1 honors, and this is what I heard. Frankly, this guy is 61 at the time. This is his voice. All right, I'm watching all this shit. Now, this the guitarist from Queen and all this shit, right? Fast forward this little so they can hear this guy sing it.

It was a skinny-fitty. I picked the bad part for the song. But listen to this guy's voice. Are you kidding me? That's live. In a fucking hard rock. He's 61. He looks like he's about 30.

No, he looks like if he's nice, he's got the wig on. He's a black belt and karate. If you look at him singing in this video, VH1 honors, Queen and Paul Rogers, the show must go on. He's 61 at the fucking time. But he's looking at his fucking neck. He's got veins in it. The reason why him and bad company broke up

is because he's side-caked. The guitar player or somebody broke his jaw. That was bad company. So that's 19. That's 2005, 2006. That's fucking this guy at 50, whatever the fuck. I want you to put on what we all know this guy for, and that's all right now.

When he was in a band called Free, this is 1969, guys. This is 30, 40 years ago, right? 69 is 40 years ago, 79, 89, 99, 2009, 2009, 2009. 69 is, this is... 43, yeah. You ready? Hit it.

Oh, this is him? Okay. This is live. What? What? What? What? What?

Are you fucking people kidding me, bro? This is life. All right, stop that. I love that time. Oh, no, no. Nobody knew that. That was 1969. Now, when Jim Morrison died,

a lot of people didn't know the remaining people, the doors, wanted him to fill Jim Morrison's shoes. They were the only consideration. He turned around, and they started a bad company with the guy from Mata Hooplin and whatever,

and the first down, ready for love. Listen to this motherfucker. Hit it. I'm telling you guys, if you get a chance, just go by all four. Listen to this guy singing. So you want to ask me again why I'd say Tom Waits could suck my dick? You want to ask me again? You want to tell me again like Joe, you don't know what you're talking about?

This is why. But let's take this even deeper. So the first time I heard this guy was 70-something. It's 2000-12. I do the UNLV last Saturday. I get back to my fucking hotel room. I put the TV on. And he's the singer, Paul Rogers, on my television, singing with this guy, Hiddily,

with Joe fucking Bonamasa live from 2012 or 11 in New York somewhere, Wilton T. I don't even fucking know. This is tremendous. Hittantly. And this is live too. Live too. You don't want to say goodbye? So next time you want to fucking jump on me over my musical taste,

or maybe you don't think I know what I'm fucking talking about, I'll back it up, motherfuckers. All right? Tom Wade sucks dick. And I shouldn't say that. He's an artist or whatever the fuck they call. Everybody's an artist. But, uh,

listen, man, all I try to do is, is bringing the shit that inspired me, the shit that made me sit there and go, what the fuck am I listening to? Or what the fuck am I watching to? What the fuck is this guy on? That's what I bring to you guys.

So sometimes you may not agree with me, but trust me, the rest of the week put on fucking Paul Rogers, anything he's on, any of those bad company albums. tumbling dice, burning sky, the first one ready for love,

is a fucking monster. If not, put on free. Listen to the album in 1969. If not, again, put on radioactive with Jimmy Page. If not, put on this shit with Joe Bonamasa. I throw you nothing but heat.

These are the people that inspired me. I hope they do the same for you. Thank you very much for listening to the church of what's happening. Now, what do we got going on this week? We said working out, kickboxing. We'll be back Wednesday. Yeah.

And then maybe we'll do this next Sunday. We didn't do yesterday. me and Lee got together and went like, fuck these cocksuckers. Let's just smoke some pot and rub the feet and watch the fucking game or whatever. We're going to do one for Hanukkah, but I felt that, you know what, it's a holiday for the Jews, fucking let them have it.

We're not that desperate to torture people on the Lord's Day. But next week, we'll be on before the end of the world show, the 21st. Like I said, on Thursday night this week. I've been San Diego. Lee's got to work. But Lee will be going to Vegas at me in January. Yeah, when did that start? week in January 23rd or 24th

at the Riviera Lee will be going there that week with me so that's what we're going to leave going to start going on the road with me I'm going to throw them up on stage and do 10 minutes and shit. Yeah, Lees are fucking savage. I'll pass out. Again, I want to give a shout out to all the people that I shout out

earlier from fucking Joe and George Rialto to Matt Maxwell for the Mel Brooks to fucking Kyle Maley to Jason whatever. I can't see without my fucking glasses Again, go to honor.com and see what they got. Get your New Year's resolution started today, December 10th.

And beside that, I love you, motherfuckers with all my heart. Check them out, Brooks. Start with Silent Movie. Go to Young Frankenstein and then get back to me. Let me know what you think. What do you got, Lee? That's it. I was just thinking about it.

I'm pretty sure Silent Movie was his first. I think it might have been. No, I don't think so. Let's look it up. I'll look it up while you finish up. Yeah, but that's it. That's all we got for you guys is what are we closing out with tonight, Lee. John London.

All right. You know what happened? What happened to me? It was his birthday the other day and I didn't do a show and I felt real bad. It was also

Dimebag Daryl's anniversary. I love you, bad motherfucker Dimeback Daryl. But I live in here in California where you, like last night I was watching Green Bay.

You what's a Green Bay game last night? A little bit. Yeah, fucking snow was coming down. They showed Santa Claus flying in the fucking air. Here in L.A.,

it's going to be like 60 degrees today. So there's really no feeling. I know a lot of people on the block have Christmas shit out. But I always say it don't feel like Christmas you hear John Lennon. Once I hear John Lennon on the 19th around there, I know Christmas is around

the corner, but fuck it. We're going to make it come early today. I want that feeling in your heart. Go out there and do what the fuck you want to do. What was his first movie? The producers. What I tell you? I couldn't have been more than. Who the fuck do you think you're dealing with? Then it was Young Frankenstein. Blazing Saddles. Young Frankenstein. Then Silent Movie. High anxiety. History of the World. Spaceballs. Oh, with John Candy. Life stinks. I forgot all about that shit. I was just giving you. your top of the ads. Spaceballs is great. Oh my God. So do you understand me, guys? I don't

throw no fucking fake either, you motherfuckers. I don't throw what's hot. I don't throw shit at you to be cool. Remember, you could dress cool, but if you ain't cool, and ain't gonna fucking help your course. Have a great fucking week. Stay black. John Lennon me, motherfucker. Fuck Yoko. I don't know talking and shit. I can't believe that. This is an entire IMDB page. It's good. No one has an entirely good IMDB page. Holy shit. All right. and what the fuck have you done? That's what I'm saying

get your shit together today hit me on Twitter hit me with an email at joeycocoaddea's dot net the shirts are coming soon I'm gonna have some great long sleeve and short sleeve for you bad motherfuckers

and that's it the Christmas holidays do you think I ain't gonna twitch you a picture of a baby but I'll let you motherfuckettling you know I'm nobody to see my baby I'm ashamed

and shit I'm a little fucking monkey like plant of the apes of some shit but I love you guys. Have a great week. Stay black.