The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - 12/19/2012 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #40

Episode Date: December 20, 2012

Ralphie May and his Daughter call in from Nashville with a special message for Joey. Juliana from Auntie Dolores edibles calls in to talk about her journey and how she got started in this industry.  This podcast is brought to you by Onnit.com. Use Promo code Church for a discount when you check out. Streamed live on 12/19/2012

What? We on motherfuckers? We on motherfuckers? Oh shit. Oh, motherfucking shit. Wednesday, December 19th, 2012. We got two more days of kicking it.

The church of what's happening now. Joey Coco Diaz, the main man, Lee Syatt, aka the flying Jew. A little Freddy's dead for the black people out there. Let's do this. Oh shit.

Leroy neckbone is probably fucking watching. It's black cock right now as we speak. Putting powder on the other side of that motherfucker on the other side of the table or something. Where's the music lead? It's Wednesday. Wake these motherfuckers up.

They're laying there all discombobulated, figuring out what they're going to do today. It's Wednesday, motherfucker. Wash those nuts. Get out to this. There's two days left. See if you get an advance on your paycheck because the world's going to end Friday.

You might as well spend it tomorrow night. Get fucked up. Eat some ass. Do what you in there. Got to do. Welcome. It's a beautiful fucking. day to be alive. How you feeling, Lisa? You

you bad, motherfucker you? I'm feeling fucking great. The last week of work is always a great week. Tremendous. You're done. That's it for ten fucking days. Did the Joe Rogan experience yesterday. My man, Red Band is watching. I want to give him a shout out. If you got a minute, he's over at a casino tonight with Tiffany Haddish.

It's a black room go out there. Bring a fucking emergency helmet just in case they fucking beach up out there. Those black rooms are fucking crazy. Oh, are they really? But that's how you get better. Red Band knows the fucking deer. You got to go out damn bang these motherfuckers out every day, man. I started a black room in Denver

and club mix. You know how the room ended? Because they shot somebody. No, they didn't. Yes, they fucking did. Oh my God. Fucking, yes, they did. That's how I met like a sedent be entertainer and the guy that died and all those black comics that are a little older. That's how I met those guys. I was an open mic on Sunday. The name of the club was

club mixed on East Kofax and Denver is shit. Nothing but black motherfuckers, pimps and hookers. And like, go there and they throw shit at the white comics. You know Kevin Fitzgerald, a veterinarian, the veterinarian, the veterinarian, the veterinarian on Discovery or whatever one of those

channels in Denver. He used to want to turn me on to the room. They would throw shit at white people, and I'm the only one that would go up that dance, right? Because when they're wrong. I wouldn't talk up there and fucking dance for it. He's dead. You know, they all start wiggling with you, and the next thing you know you got those motherfuckers. I talk about

some black actor or something, and I get the fuck off stage. Yeah, have you seen that? I think it was Ken Jong on BET. like the doctor, he did like a little, like a disco dance. They went bananas. They went nuts. Because now you're jing, you know, for 2,000 years,

when black people went in front of us, they'd have to dance and do all that shit, like in the 50s. When we go up in front of them, we got to do the same fucking thing. So that's why I told Red Band on the way out yesterday. I go, hey, motherfucker, went in Rome. Went in Rome, fucking fuck him up and go out there and sling some dick. Because I had a great time last night. My other brother, Ari Shafir, he does a storytellist.

That's a great show. At the improv, once a month, it was a great fucking show. You know, it's funny because, listen, I swear to God, he called me, he goes, Diaz, I need you on Tuesday, the 18th, whatever. You got to come up with a Christmas story. I ain't got no fucking Christmas stories. I really don't. I mean, I have one really good Christmas with my family, like with my mother at the house when we were kids,

and I remember Christmases, but they were like everybody else's Christmas. You go home, you open your fucking presents, and then you go to bed with your fucking pajamas on, a big fucking deal. The best Christmas story I had When I was like I was a sophomore in high school or a junior One of those It was the sophomore year when I was really fucking crazy And instead of going to school What you did was it was half a day on the 24th

Christmas Eve was like 7 to 11 Yeah fuck all to school We'd start the night before We'd start drinking the night before And we'd meet like at 6 So instead of buying beer I mean we had the money to buy beer We'd just rob a fucking beer truck

We'd go by a Hudson County Park And there was an AMP right there And we'd wait for the fucking truck to pull up, and then one of us would cross the street. We'd open up the fucking thing. And sometimes we robbed it by hand. The guy's not going to chase you. The guy's not going to change.

You'd take a case of courts. Or sometimes we'd get a car, pull up to the truck, open it. That's when you steal a couple. That's the way to do it. That's when they hold the back of your pants and you steal a couple fucking things. So it was like me, Richie Vanichek, Bob Banta, a bunch of savages.

These were white fucking savages I grew up with. So we drank the thing. We got all fucked up. We drink like Blackberry brandy And I went to the Metalands in the night before Which was a strip club Where they'd stick bananas and all that shit in their pussy Yeah

But that night I went in there It was like an off night Like a Wednesday night I'd never forget somebody was selling meth This is when they called it speed Just speed There wasn't no meth then It was just speed

And I bought a half a gram of speed And they gave it to me like this little I'd never forget And I remember taking it home And sniffing it And the next morning Doing a blast Like at six in the morning

And fucking drinking And drinking All morning getting fucked up in about 1130 cone in front of the high school and we set up like a little fort and we're throwing snowballs at each other right bam bam you know snowballs

in the East Coast you take the snowballs and you dip them in the melting water that that fucking snowball becomes a rock of debt you understand me so we're throwing the snowball and for some reason I look up and on the corner of my on this side I see a station wagon

which people don't know they know SUVs and sure the station wagon is a big car and the guy driving it was Santa Claus headed to one of those targets to ring the bell and the snow and I see, I hear the fucking snowball leave Richie Vanity of the hunter one of those big Czechos of Vakian

motherfuckers that he's been stabbing animals since he was like two. You know, he's one of those guys, he shot cats, he shot dogs as a kid, he shot people from his window he was just a hunter. I remember one time he put like a knife in a table and he would make you hit his hand and he'd take his hand you stab yourself

with the fucking knife. I mean he was just crazy So he threw a snowball, a low and inside, this motherfucker occurred. Like, he was one of those pitches in Little League that would hit you with the ball. And today, people still walk up to you with that jiggly leg. Man, Richie Vanichick, fuck me up in 72. So Richie Vanichick, this snowball got away from him, and it hit. This guy was driving with his window open. You know, here come Santa Claus, here come Santa Claus right down.

Santa Claus Lane. He's like a was, thinking the world is beautiful. Yeah. He forgot about North Bergen, New Jersey. well, he'll kill you with a fucking snowball, and this snowball came right into the window and hit him. And I'll never forget, like, hearing the car go,

and not even thinking about it. I don't give a fucking the guy kills himself. Like, he almost lost control. He lost control and shit. And about four, five, six minutes later, I remember looking up, and I see this fucking Santa Claus running. We're bleeding from his face,

like the snowball had hit him, and he's running out of us with, like, his sand. We're like, what are we going to do? We could either run. Let's stay here and fuck Santa up. And, like, five of us just started fucking punching on Santa. And I still remember Santa in the middle of, like, us. It was like when you see, like, an antelope,

and you see, like, those little animals, hyenas around him, biting from him. We were just all pounding him. Bam-ba. He went down. The cops came by. They had us all up against the fence. I'll never forget that.

We're all up against the fence. I look over and there's Santa with his suit ripped. That was the end of my fucking. Oh, my God. What fucking Christmas you got. I got no Christmas stories, all right? I love the idea of you get to, hammered and doing speed, but then still going on having a snowball fight?

Oh, the speed makes you throw snowballs, you know what I'm saying? You're energetic. And this was like old school speed. This wasn't made from fucking like cough medicine and shit. This is when bikers were bikers when they mix like gasoline with fucking explosive juice and foot powder. This is when they fuck you up, Jack. Gasoline and foot powder, Jesus. Yeah. One of these cats took a shit in a cat with a box. It's horrendous. I don't know if it's you. Was it you Fidel Cotsucker? I never know These little shitters, man

They fucking shit Their little shit smells terrible That's the one thing That is kind of weird about cats Is the shitting in the house That's, I mean, I'm also allergic to them But fucking You're not allergic here

These cats love you They're clean cats They don't fuck around I clean cats I take them in the shower I wash these motherfuckers It's crazy Because I go to front's houses

When they have one or two cats And I can't stay there For more than 20 minutes You gotta brush the hair You gotta change the little box Two, three times a fucking day I try to do a one and a half times a day, to be honest.

Sometimes I forget it. You pick up a couple pieces of shit when they're loose to the top of them. It's like a Puerto Rican spring cleaning. You know what? You don't really come in to the bottom. You got to scrape the bottom. I'll tell you what. That shit gives me fucking characters to cleaning out that cat with the box.

I don't even understand why. Again, let me tell you something. Today after you leave, I'm going to probably take my wife there because my schedule's been weird now that she's pregnant. I can't do it. Today I got really nothing on the books. I was supposed to go to Ontario. I believe I shoot something at 1 o'clock today.

I don't know if I'm going to make it. My wife don't want me straying too far. And I also was Gabriel Iglesias' yearly fucking Christmas party, which I don't know if you motherfuckers know how Gabriel Lacey does it on Christmas. This motherfucker, he rents out the Taste of Texas. What's that? A restaurant and fucking, like, some place in a Mexican restaurant. The one they used in fucking collateral.

One of those Mexican type of restaurants that's just huge. It's not in Pico Rivera. Somebody hit me up the other day. They said they're one day shot in Pico Rivera. that's a that's still open the ponderosa whatever the fuck of his taste of Texas he has a pool a poker tournament holy shit he has

fucking the place caters it he has live mariachi bands he has I mean he has games I mean it's a fucking party he's been doing it for like eight years and he's a heavy drinker right because I tequila all those motherfuckers every day he posts like another picture of a bottle of

Petron and it's just like Jesus Christ he has a he has a funny weapon show out. It's called like the damn TV or something? Very funny. I'm going to do the horoscopes or some shit. Oh really? I'm supposed to start doing the horoscopes in the new year. I hope he calls me. I like hanging out with him. Tonight, it's just, it's just 40 minutes each way. You know, and that's the thing I got tonight, especially if they want me to go to Ontario. So I got to put my day together. I got to quark the band brothers down in Ontario. These guys do a great fucking show Cody and the twins. They're great guys if you live on that side of the town. Go see the

fucking Bam brothers. I love those guys. Yeah. I got that option. But do me a favor. I'm also going to kickboxing today. And I'm going to tell you something, guys, I'm really fucking impressed with the strong bone. I'm really fucking blown away. I can't believe that something. I mean, my knee pain is going. Like the little knee pains I had on my left leg. I know it's still there, but it's not

like, I can work out, guys. And that's the most important thing at fucking 50, is that you're working out. Like I said to you, I might not lose weight over the fucking holidays because I got to go to a bunch of... I got to go to like two Cuban parties this weekend, which sucks dick. Those Cubans make fucking flound with the condensed milk in it. There's no point.

on that. The points is fat fuck. That's the point. Fat fuck when you eat that. It's just a fat fuck alert. There's no, you know, there's nothing else there included. But what's I say to you? Go to fucking honor. Go to on it. If you have an hard time with your joints, you know, like I said, keep it light in the beginning. Swim at your fucking pool. Walk around in the warm pool, in the four foot pool. Walk in there for a while. Take the weight off your joints. Go in there. Kick. Get a kicking board. And go in the fucking pool. And go in the fucking pool. fucking warm pool and just kick from side to side 10 minutes 12 minutes 13 minutes 18 minutes and there you go you got 20 30 fucking minutes and you're halfway fucking there your tits go away look my titty's are fucking going away I used to have nice big fucking man titties with a little nipple on the end that day is done Lee siat you bad motherfucker what else is going on your world uh talks to me eh what is it you going home in five days you can't wait yeah I can't wait two days they're gonna fart in your face I talk to some people we got it all mapped up you know how many people came

up to me last night at the Ari Show and said they're going to be at the end of the world show and part of it is because Lee Syatt. So what we're going to have to do is after the show and to take the outside when you're bleeding and shit holding onto your face with an ice pack because this chick's, she started eating late Monday

she told me. Which one? The big one of the little one? The little skinny one, which the skinnier people fart and she's going to scotch tape her asshole to make it even smaller so it's like a mist coming on your face. We're going to take good care of you Lee. That's we do around there. This ain't no

Michael Jackson and this ain't thriller. You know what I'm saying? One dumb rapper. I know I can, hey, I went from Run DMC to cool him the game. Put a little run DMC for your fucking Uncle Joey here today. A little King of Rock. These motherfuckers don't know about it. King of Rock. A little run DMC

on Wednesday, December 19th. What do you got? Six days. Five more shoplifting days to Christmas. And you're fucking sitting there watching me on a podcast your fucking momos. Get out there. Mug somebody. You know what December 19th was? I'm gonna tell you a little fucking story. You got the King of Rock on for me lined up yet?

Uh, yeah, it's, uh, be ready in two seconds. I got fired one year from fucking this car dealer for beating up, uh, Eagle Live. Fuck it. Oh, we got a call coming. Oh, shit. Who's this mystery man? I'm very much. What's happening?

Hey, bad flavor. Oh, shit. It's my brother. direct from the fucking jumping jack farm. I love it. Happy, Merry Christmas to you and your family, Ralphie Mae. How you doing, brother? I'm doing great, man.

I'm here at Tennessee. Right now, I'm here with my daughter, April, June, May. She's got a message for you, Uncle Joey. Hit me. Oh, baby. Uncle Joey. Yeah, baby. See me, Cox, sucker.

Get together, McAfoga. I love you, baby. Get it together, motherfucker. Get it together, motherfucker. I love it. If your daughter's at home right now, that's how she needs to talk to you. A little girl telling you in the morning,

get it together, motherfucker. That'll make a big difference in your life right there. That's motivation. Fuck Joey Diaz. You know what I'm saying? She's all about it, man. It's all about it. How are you feeling, baby?

I'm doing good, man. We had a little trouble with her yesterday. This boy was, she was playing in the park. park and she ninja kicked the boy yesterday in the balls and uh and uh and the not really in the ball not really in the ball we don't know if i kicked in the ball oh we don't know she she's been taking karate and she ninja kicked at some bitch in the balls i think or maybe in the head i don't know and uh and uh he went crying like a puss all right he's like a six-year-old boy she's five

She's handling, so she's karate chaffing over here for Jesus. All right, cleaning up the park for the little girls. And, you know, and her mama called her a bully, and she was soaking all day. And I came in, and I was like, good for you, good for you. You know, she's a soldier. Amen, that's the most important. When you got a little fucking princess, you got to teach those motherfuckers to protect themselves, especially what we've seen in our lives, you know what I'm saying?

at 1440, all the chicks we threw off the roofs and pulling hair, and the red devil. So you got, if you got a daughter, he'll teach those little savages to protect themselves. By the time she's 10, she's like that fucking chick on the USA show, La Femniquita, throwing sidekicks and stabbing Puerto Ricans.

That's what I want, a little fucking girl. Oh, I know. I know. A little whore cheerleader jumping up and down, rah, rah, rah. Get the fuck out of you. Get out there and stabbing you. these little cock suckers in the heart.

So how long you've got two more weeks of working out, brother? Yes, sir. Yesterday I did 8,500 meters on the rowing machine. Okay. And I did 500 crutches, and I worked out with dumbbells until my arms felt like ragdolls. And I tell you, I'm doing it, Coco. I'm sore all over. I'm proud of you, brother.

It's the beginning. to be a fucking lean, mean, slinging dick machine when they get through with you over there. Oh, I know, I know, who knows? It's the end of this. I might be hung. Who knows?

It's the best thing I did, man. It's feed him, so, who knows? I might have a Cuban egg roll my damn self, you know? Hey, brother, you could be a fat fuck, or you could be a healthy fat fuck. We got to make the call, you know what I'm saying? I can do a couple jumping jacks, throw a few sidekicks.

I'm eating apples at night. I had a shit this morning before Lee came over. You know, shit's going on. I'm eating apples at night They got me eating three of those fucking red apples at night Just so in the morning Everything comes out like normal Business as usual

You don't go to bed hungry You know what I'm saying? Because if it's not three apples It's an in and out burger And my bullshit Amen You know so Yeah

It's better that than that garbage So you're there for the holidays brother Yes sir Here through the 26 And then we're going to Stand Up Live and Tempe Stand Up Live For New Year's Eve.

That's my fucking boy and shit. Well, I'm happy you're doing your things. You did 8,500 meters, 22 jumping jacks, and you got a standing ovation, and you're made out with three chicks. And that's all that matters to me at the end of the fucking week, you know what I'm saying? Right on, buddy.

I love you, cocksucker. Have a great one. Give the baby a kiss. I love her, too, the little boy and your wife, and I'll give you a call before the holidays. I love you at all my heart. Say hello to the flying, Julie. Hey, Ralphie.

All right, man. I love you. She loves you, too, Joey. I love you guys. All right, stay black. Good luck with that baby over there, man. I'll call you, soon as I'm at the hospital fainting and shit. You know what I'm getting stitches this week?

We're both getting stitches. She's getting stitches in the asshole, and I'm getting stitches on my chin or my forehead or my eyebrow. Something's going down, so I'm prepared. They better have a hospital bed next to you. Oh, please. I sleep at your machine. I'm going to be rougher than I'm just preparing.

Thank you very much for the present, brother. I love you at all my heart. I love you. You can't do nothing about it. All right, don't forget about me, Cogsucker. I want Cogsucker. I love you, baby. Love you, man. Bye, Coco.

Bye, buddy. You have interesting timing. The song was about to play, as he called. Hit me. What song are we playing, Lee? A little fucking King of Rock. We got another call coming in a couple minutes. Hit me with a little King of Rock for Uncle Joey Lee.

I'm hitting this fucking. I'm the king of rock. There is none higher. Sucker, you must use fire. I won't stop rock until I retire. Now he rocked up. Get it, Lee. All cuts a long time.

What? What? What? You guys didn't know I was to run DMC to a shit. Dance leave, Dan, wiggle phone, Joe Lee. Here, a little joke to Big Siree at. What?

Oh shit. Oh shit. You never even heard this league. I heard that. You don't fucking hear this. It's cranking for your Uncle Joey. You don't want. A dot.

And it's one dumb. I know I come from to go to the game. Road to the Rock, Rock. to the row. What? Roll to the rock, rock to the roll. Who drops it like that? Nobody, cocksucker. The churcho has happened now coming at you. Wednesday, you motherless cock suckers.

We got my girl calling from Auntie Dolores. We got a little Carmel corn today. It's 120 grams of THC. You understand me? And you tip the bag up like it was a movie theater back and had like the entire... That's right. That was full when he started it. So what? It's fucking 8th the morning. Get your shit together. God, it's 6.30.

Who gives a fuck? 8.30, it's fiber. Anti-Dloric Carmore corn. Fucking tremendous. Sorry, I'm eating on camera. And then they come with these little bags, too. This little mint chocolate chip. You get four fucking wafers in here.

I ate the whole bag one day. Oh, fuck. Ha ha ha ha. And that's it. That's how we do it, motherfuckers. Before this girl calls. somebody called I got an interesting

email at joey coco-dias.net You know if you want to email me you want to ask me a question you want a fucking suggestion or something like that just don't get carried away everybody's an executive producer all of a sudden you guys living in Kentucky you went to the school fucking dance and you want to call me and tell me how to run my fucking business

you know what I'm saying? Get your shit together anyway what was Iley I don't know this fucking popcorn already goes to your head it's got sugar in it So it goes right to the fucking cranium. Dr. Joey Diaz. I'm telling you, why not?

How are you going to start a Wednesday morning? Everybody always complains is Wednesday. I got the hump day blue. Well, get it together, Cox. You got to start. You got to smoke your reefer. You got to do a few jumping jacks. I don't have a protein powder.

You did. And you came. I always have a fucking hemp force in the morning. Get me going. It's funny, but you say that for every day. How are you not going to start your Monday? How are you not going to start your Wednesday? How are you got to prepare before?

Listen, before you paint the house, correct? You tape the fucking things. You fucking spackle, you sand it down, you tape the joints, you clean the floor, you drop a cloth that you're in preparation. So how are you not going to prepare for your day? How the fuck do you get up in the morning

and just get up and put coffee on like a fucking schmutz? You got to get up. You got to wash your little pussy. You got to powder yourself. While you're in the shower thinking, you're thinking of your fucking moves throughout the day. I got to go to the bank, I got to do this, I got to do that.

You're thinking of your fucking moves. So when you come out, you open up your notebook, ba-b-b-b-boom. You put your notes. down for your day, your goals for the day, I want to do this. If you look at my notebook for the day today, I got nothing, but I'll tell you where I'm going to be at a certain fucking time. You know, you think of your day.

Before you leave the house, you hit that fucking bong to correct your head, you know, like Joe Rogan's on the podcast yesterday. Makes you look at it. Reality coming at you. When you go out there fucking high, you see it from every move. Or you're a fucking dunce. You sit, walk around like this, waiting for fucking play. You know, you can get high for two reasons.

Sit on the couch and scratch your ass and play fucking game fly, whatever the fuck of it is that you do. or you get high and double your fucking high pleasure. Get out there. Make it work for you. You know, your case of fucking house. If you case in your fucking street, right?

You're looking at the house. But if you smoke a joint, you're like, ooh, maybe I go around the back. Maybe a helicopter off a fucking helicopter and through the fucking, what is that called over that? Door? Yeah, whatever.

The fucking door. No burglar goes into the door. Get it together, Lee Cox Sucker. You got me? over here solo smoking the vapor pipe. No, but the amount of high you get, I would be under my cover is freaking out.

What high? This is just a little something to get. Eat some popcorn. That's a problem. Get some popcorn. Just a little piece. What the fuck? You're going to have a chick fart in your face on Wednesday. You got to prepare. You got to start today. You got a shade. You got to put cream on your face. You've got to pluck your little fucking eyebrows. You don't want that fart getting caught in your eyebrow

hair. You don't need that shit. Eat it. Eat it. He eats it like it. Oh, that's good. Yeah, it's fucking really good. This is really... Bro, this is karma. It tastes like caramel corn.

This is delicious. You can go to a movie theater and start eating this shit and by halfway in the movie theater. You're in a coma. You don't want the movie to end. You're like, I wish this is a Tarantino movie that never ends.

That's strong at the end. Oh, yeah, it's got some way. And you gotta eat one of these, too. There's the jingle bell shit right here. This is what it's all about. There's the chocolate. And what's crazy is Weight Watchers. When you go to a Weight Watchers meeting,

they usually have these mid-ch chocolate chip squares like their two points of. piece. And they sound like they're always 50% off or something. They're delicious. These taste just the same. I don't think they're not for fat people. I think this guy is egg in it and a bunch of shit. But, yeah, I met Anteloris

at Divine Wellness. And for you people, like I told you last week, if you go to Divine Wellness and buy a chocolate or one of these anti-Dloruses, they give you, tell him, Uncle Joey's saying it. They give you a memorative, commemortive Uncle Joey, Beauty and the Beast t-shirt in there and a no-ho

organic. So, good down there today. What are you looking that me for. You go, you buy Samantha Dolores fucking popcorn, car milk on. You want some more? Have some more. This is good shit. A little more. One more piece. It's good for the soul. This will get your fucking wing going. I'm not going to go to work tonight. You're worried about 7 o'clock tonight. You know how many things that

happened before? You got... Yeah, I'm going to pass it on your couch and freak out for four hours and... Oh shit. Oh shit! Stupid cuck, sucker! Oh, no! The cats are going to eat my fucking popcorn. You fucking schmarts. Yeah, what am I gonna do with you?

I didn't spill it. Yes, you did. Look at it. Cock sucker, now the cats are gonna eat it. Fucking, my Harry's gonna walk around all cock-eye. He's got one eye that's cock-eyed already. That fucking schmutz. What's this girl one here?

I love you, too, Aidlin Cambers. Let me give some shout-outs today. To the fucking soldiers, my man, Tariq. My man, Justin Delgado. As usual, Mac Hard, my little lesbian making videos. I love it with that little lesbo. She pounds that fucking a thing. I think we had to...

Good morning, my love. Good morning. How are you? How are you? This fucking guy just built the anti-Dolars fucking Carmel Corn. He went to give it back to me. We're eating Carmel Corn already getting the day started the right way. You understand me? I told you I didn't fuck around. What time you have?

6.35 in the a.m. That's right. And we're all reading. Good morning, my love. Address yourself. Tell these beautiful people who you are. My name's Juliana. and I'm the founder of Auntie Dolores Co-op.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. And we met at, uh, we met at Divine Wellness a couple weeks ago when you were doing like a product, uh, introduction thing. Yeah. Yeah, we were doing demos down in SoCal, trying to hit up some of the clubs down there. We do a lot of that up north and we're just starting to do more down south. So, yeah, I met you at Divine. Great shop.

Love those guys. and yeah there's quite a few shops down there that carry our products and apparently you've hit every one of them oh you know I'm a profession I don't fuck around but it was Ari it was the fly it was flying Jew number two my other buddy Ari Shafia who kept telling me you know and I can't I don't read the thing I can't see I can't

you know I'm 49 years old Julianna Ante Dolores so I can't fucking see so you know the first time I tried your products it was Kushmark. They had the peanuts, the spicy peanuts. And in fact, it was Felipe Esparsa, the guy who won last comic standing last year, who told me about the peanuts first. And then Ari, yeah, it was Felipe who won and said, bro, these fucking peanuts, bro, they're pretty good. So I remember I had the peanuts or the spicy mix or whatever. And then, and then Ari had something at the one across the street from Rouse. They have like a little store there. And that's where he goes. So when bumped into you that and now it was like wow what a coincidence i was just talking about these uh and then

you gave you the card and now tell us a little bit about your products and what you put on them beside love well um as you can probably tell a lot of the ingredients are you know they're very strong flavors so we try to find ingredients that are going to mask the flavor of the cannabis because cannabis tastes nasty right so um but then And our extracts are really strong, so we only need to use a little bit to make the products strong. And then the other flavors that are included are helping to mask the flavor of the cannabis, but you still get the effects of it. So that's kind of the thinking behind all of our recipes and all the development of our products

is just high potency, great flavor. You know, we've got something for everybody. Not everybody likes the chili lime peanuts, but they might prefer the cracker, or they might prefer the sweet stuff. Everybody's got, you know, different taste buds. So we try to find something that appeals to everybody. And the thing I really like about your product is that it'll tell you, you know, sometimes you go in, you get a cookie, you know, you have to, you have an appointment,

you got to go to church, you don't know how fucking strong that cookie is. You know, you have no idea how strong that cookie is with your products. You have at least a ballpark, like the Carmel Corn. It's 120 now. Yeah. Is that 120 milligrams for the whole bag? Yeah. Oh, fuck it.

I'm behind. I got to eat some more. You know what I'm saying? No, no, no. I'm just teasing. Yeah, and that's a lot of medicine. That's a lot of medicine. You know, you can just eat as much as you want. If you don't want to eat the whole bag, save it for later, you know? Like Lee, he fucking dropped my bag.

Not a lot of it fell just a little bit. He's lucky I love him. And he's lucky it's honoured and shit like that. There's like two kernels left in the bag and I maybe dropped the one. Two kernels. Look at the fucking floor. He dropped those little buds, the little good ones. That might be enough for somebody.

And not one of my cats going to eat it. And he's going to be fucked up. You know, I don't care if my cats get high. I give him super high catnip. You guys make catnip? That's your next product. We're going into business for together. We do doggie treats.

I have made doggy treats. I made CBD-rich doggy treats for my pit bull before he passed away. But, yeah, we've got a lot of great stuff. And I want to develop more products. We're hoping to come out with a CBD-rich product for patients in California. That's our next. You know, that's our next development right there. So you run all through Northern California all the way through the state.

That's what you're trying to tell me. Yeah, we work with Spenceries all over California, but we're based up in Northern California. And we were talking yesterday on the phone because people always will hit me up on the email and say, hey, man, how can I get edibles? I'm in Michigan. You know, even though Michigan, Seattle, Denver, all these other states, you're allowed to have medical marijuana.

Your products do not sell there, correct? No, no, we can't really. We'd have to go there and set up, you know, shopping business licenses and organization to do business there. So, unfortunately, it's a lot, there's a lot more red tape involved than, you know, you would think. No, I could just imagine. You know, it's funny that we also. spoke about yesterday, I got to compliment you on, that I got my card maybe seven years ago,

six years ago. And in that time, you know, every time I go to a dispensary, it's always try something different, an ice cream, and you see products come and go. And I got to tell you, I've been living in the Valley for three years, so I haven't lived in Cushmore in Hollywood for three years, and you guys been around the while. Yeah. How many years now? Well, we've been, we kind of got in right at the perfect time, I think,

because things have changed so drastically in the last three, four years. And so, I mean, I really feel like we got into it at the right moment. I've seen numerous companies come and go, like you said. It's just an incredibly challenging industry to operate in. We have challenges in terms of, like, how to survive as a business. the challenges that we face are like way, way more extreme than any other industry. So I think it's just really hard for businesses to survive. And it really, I mean, it's taken us a good three years just to kind of, you know,

operate in a way that we can continue going. And I'm able to give out Christmas bonuses this year. You know, it's just, so it's tough. It's a tough industry. But it's getting better. It's definitely getting better, and it helps that we've got a really consistent product, and that's because all of our processes are very consistent, very specific. I mean, we do the same thing every week.

We don't change it. Once we get our recipes locked down, and that's just not just the flavors, but the potency and all that. Once we have it locked down, it's like set in stone, so there's no varying from that. And, you know, sometimes have people work in the kitchen, and they come from food backgrounds. You know, they work in restaurants or they work as a chef here or there, and they want to get all creative. There's not a whole lot of room for creativity with this job because if you work as a cook in our kitchen, you have to do everything the same way, every day, week after week.

And so in that sense, we were able to create a really consistent product. But like I said, it's not exactly like the most creative job for somebody who's, got a food background because it's all the same. Every single recipe is exactly the same, day and day out. How did you come up with the idea to start the company? What made you, what pushed in the direction? Well, you know, the economy started the tank a few years ago, and I was a bookkeeper before. I did bookkeeping for nonprofits, and I was just starting to lose clients less than right. And I just, I have a kid, so I was like, I need to figure out how to support myself and my daughter and we just, I started selling my products to some clubs

up in San Francisco. Not been doing this for over 10 years, but I always, you know, help. What that? You were doing this over 10 years, just on your own. Yeah, I mean, I've always been cooking with cannabis. I mean, I grew up in, you know, the San Francisco Bay Area. It's like it's not hard to get your hands on good, wheat. Okay. So, I mean, I've been cooking with the stuff forever, but I just never thought there

was, you know, actually a business in it. And then I started working with some dispensaries in San Francisco, and it just, I mean, immediately took off. It was, like, incredible. So, you know, within, like, probably about two or three months, one of our best dispensaries in San Francisco was selling, like, 500 brownies a week of ours. And so I thought, well, shit, I'm on I can throw away my day job and move into this because like, why would I sit here and crunch numbers for nonprofits when I can like go and like, you know, help people with medical cannabis and start this company and let's do what happens, you know, and it's just every step of the way, it's just been like, wow, let's see what happens if we do this.

And okay, now I can hire a couple more people to help me out in the kitchen and oh, wow, we just like grew another, you know, 25% and let's keep going. And so it's just been constantly, like, trying to keep up with the growth of it. It's been really phenomenal, you know. I look at, I'm one of those, I have an econ degree, but I'm one of those pick-up starters where I look at, when I go to a restaurant, I'm looking for shit to talk about. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. Like, I look at the walls, I look at the fucking service.

You know, I'm one of those assholes, but I keep it to myself. I just always think about If I had a restaurant What would I do different? And let me tell you what you're doing correctly Number one, I know what I'm getting When I buy your product Yeah

Like I said, the big knock to this industry was You know, with the cookies and the edibles Where you didn't know where it was going And yeah, you have the other side of the knock Where people want the bread strips And everybody wants to be fucking cool And this guy where I got a scent, I get a lollipop Who gives a fuck?

I want to see the devil. You follow me? I'm 50. When I work out, And my back hurts and my muscles ache, you know, and I don't want to eat a lettuce fucking sandwich or something. You know, T-8C helps take the acidity out of your muscles. So I know before I go to bed, if I eat one of your, if I get a four-pack of your Anteloris mint chocolate chip, for example, the chocolate mint that you turn me onto, which I'm showing a bag right now on the camera, it comes with four of those in there at 55 grams apiece, right?

55 milligrams. Pne. A piece. Yeah, about 55 milligrams for brownie. The normal the normal person. Yeah, like the normal person.

Like, Lee, I'm a fucking gorilla, so I could eat the whole all four of them. I've done it before. But, like, Lee, all you need is one, 50 milligram, and you're going to sleep, you're going to wake up, you're going to feel a lot better, Lee.

I had three kernels of the popcorn and I'm already feeling it. Oh, yeah, Lee's not a big smoker or nothing. So he'll, he'll, I'll fuck this motherfucker up. He'll call me this afternoon and tell me how his body was vibrating all night and shit like that.

So he's my official tester. He's like my little young Frankenstein. I love the death. I have a quick question for you. We always hear about the dispensers that are getting closed. You're not a dispenser. You're not selling it yourself. You're like a producer.

How is all this stuff affecting you? Well, the first part of your question I didn't hear. Could you repeat that? like we, in the news you always hear about, especially down here about dispensaries getting closed by the federal government, but you're not a dispenser, you're producing it for them. How, does that, does that affect you in any way or? Well, I mean, we are a legal cooperative, so we're set up like a dispensary, but we don't have a brick and mortar shop.

We've got a kitchen, which is, you know, in a confidential space. So, like, nobody knows where we're located. And the reason why is because we could get graded. by the feds just like any other dispensary could, you know. But, yeah, we operate, we're totally undercover. We have to be. It's ridiculous, but it's how it is. And as far as what's going on in L.A., I mean,

clubs are going to get closed left and right down there, but you know what? They're always going to open up down the street two weeks later because there's just zero regulations down there. So, I mean, it's happening all over California. You guys hear about it because you're in L.A., but really how it looks to us, because we're dealing with all these clubs all over California, is like there's just pockets in different areas that get hit,

and there's always going to be that until we can reschedule cannabis properly so that it's no longer a schedule one narcotic. And once that happens, the whole industry is going to change. So hopefully we'll see less closures, less rates, and all that stuff, because it's just a big waste of money, resources, and time, you know. Yeah, and I know you probably can't give exact numbers, but for someone like you, in a ballpark, how much money do you think you're paying in taxes to the state?

And that, if this was more legal, we'd be making more, like, how much money do you think you're giving to the state every month or year or something like that? Well, all of our employees are on payroll, so we operate, just like any of other. legal business. I mean, everything that we do is just like any other company. The only part about it that's different is we're just, we're way more discreet about where we're located and stuff. But as far as a business goes, like we, you know, we've got federal tax ID number, we pay sales tax, everything,

just like any other business. Whether or not, the biggest difference would be like, suppose cannabis was rescheduled and just, you know, the gates open up and a company like ours, we'll be able to operate, you know, serving all of California, not just medical cannabis patients, but anybody. I still think that there's going to be some red tape because, I mean, we're a food company, but it's also medicine, right? But part of the problem is legally we don't fit into the food category. We don't fit into the medicine category because we're a little bit of both.

And so, like, once the FDA gets involved with that process, it could really change things. And I don't know what that means. But right now, we kind of operate in this gray area. I mean, once again, it's ridiculous, but it is what it is. But you're paying taxes? There's not a lot of black and white laws around this stuff at all. And you're paying taxes, Julia. So that's the big...

You're showing up with a fucking envelope. It's not like you're running some fucking, it's not like you're hanging out with Blanco on the corner. You know, you have a legitimate business. But we're getting treated like that. We still have to live like criminals. I mean, that's a sad part about it. It's like here we are.

We're employing people, right? We're creating jobs. We're creating a product that's helpful to thousands and thousands of people in California. Okay? Yet I could be thrown in jail tomorrow. I mean, it's just, it's affinine. But that's the reality. of it. It's not 100% legal what's happening here. And that's wrong, but it is what it is, you know.

You know, I always talk about what's going on in the country right now with people losing their jobs and people are tapping out. You know, I got to really applaud you, man. What you've done is tremendous. And we talk about this all the time that in this part of, right now in this part of your life, you can't get a job. Unemployment runs out. you might as well do what you love doing. And hopefully it goes in the right direction because you're doing it out of love. And I really applaud the hell out of you. I didn't even know that part of your business. I thought you were doing this, you know, like everybody else,

but you're doing this because things got bad in your normal life and you said, fuck it. If you're walking on ice, you might as well dance, you know. Hey, man, when you hit rock bottom, there's nowhere else to go but up. And I've been really lucky, really blessed. I'm really, really proud of you in the story that. I didn't even know that. I just really love your products, man.

That's awesome. Well, I've got people that work with me now that, you know, they come from backgrounds where they may be like we're on the sales team at a really successful business. They lost their job, and they're like, shit, I got nowhere else to go but the cannabis industry because really this is the only industry right now where, A, I can even get a job that I'm going to be able to keep.

And, you know, money's pretty decent, And, you know, compared to a lot of other industries, it's actually thriving, you know, whereas you see all this other stuff going on out there. People are losing their businesses left and right and their jobs and everything. I mean, there's really no financial security in the world right now. And yet this cannabis industry, it's like it's just blooming. It's just like the plant itself, it's not going to stop growing just because we, you know, want to put all these rules around it.

All we got to do is step out of the way and let this shit take off because it is changing the world and it's definitely changing California, you know. But I'm really proud of it. No, and your business, listen, you know, we're goofing around here and I fuck around a lot, but I met you because you were doing a product demo. You know, you go to Costco and on a Saturday and you walk out of there and you're fucking full because you've had sausage, you've had cheese,

you've had toast, you had lemonade, coconut milk, you know, everybody's giving out samples. That's big business type thing. And you didn't have to do that. You could have been at home, counting 20s and playing video games, but you took a chance. You live up in

Northern California, wherever the hell you live. You came down to a store that's been selling your product and they do a great job of, you know, it's on the board there and stuff. I mean, they refer your products all the time. I said, you know, I go in and out. And ever since I started, I met you, and I saw what you were doing. I'd just been with your products lately.

I don't even go to the fucking bang, those miserable motherfuckers. You know, they don't return nothing. They don't return calls. They're late with their supply. Every time I go into divine wellness, your stuff is there. And Ari can't say enough, you know, talk enough praises around you, man. So thank you. That's awesome.

Thank you for work. I mean, this car even. Yeah, you love getting the champion. to talk to the patients directly because, you know, I mean, we provide a lot of information on our website and everything, but nothing replaces, you know, being able to talk with the people directly, and because we work with the clubs directly, we don't always get that chance to talk with the patients directly, so that's always great. And what is your website?

I love meeting folks like you, and especially when I go to L.A., I mean, there's so many dynamic, interesting people that go to clubs down there. Oh yeah, they really are. Never a dull moment, man. No, no, no, no, no. You see some fucking beauties. You do see, it's like going to OTB in New York City. You see some fucking beauties, my friend.

Hey, I got a question. Well, a comment, I just want to put it out there. Because we are a legal cooperative, anybody who's a California medical cannabis patient can become a member of our cooperative. And all you have to do is go to our website. There's a community. tab, which has membership information.

So just if you could let your folks know that, that would be great. What's your website? What's the website? The website, it's at www.w. ontidilores.com. www.w.ante dolores.com. I love it. Yeah. I fucking love it.

I love that you could. You gave me a lot of info today. Lee, don't touch the fucking brown. He's looking at him. Now he's looking. Now he's interested. Before he's talking about how he's going to not go be able to. to go to work at 7 o'clock tonight.

You know, I love what you're doing. I'm very proudy, and I'm happy that you called and your family now. You're an official, unofficial sponsor. You call whenever you want and let us know. Any new products you have coming up? Look, I told you. Super bad's eating the fucking popcorn.

I knew it. Get out of that, cuck, sucker. Superbats eating the popcorn. You know why he needs some fucking white popcorn. The mint chip browning is, like, our newest product. That's what Lee's got in his hand right now. We went with the lower. potency on that because we're hoping that folks would like buy it and maybe bring it to a

Christmas party and share it with their friends or you know it's a great gift item and whatnot but uh we didn't want to pack those with those 100 bite brownies because you know not just anybody should be throwing back 100 milligrams of medicine it's definitely not for everybody but that's why we've got this wide range of potency levels with our products because you know folks that have a low tolerance want to stick with the 5x brownies and then most people want the stronger stuff. So we got something for everybody. But those mint chip brownies eventually will probably sell them individually. But that wouldn't be until, you know, probably February or March.

I had a 100 milligram bite the other day, the blue, the black and blue. Yeah. Because you have like the just black package is 180 also? What, 112? And then the one under it is 100, and then I think there's like a 75 or something. I usually dabble with the 100 and the 120. I like that one. I had the cookie on a plane one time.

I thought it was going to have a fucking heart attack. How many milligrams of the cheese cracker? Well, it was 180 in the package, so it's like 90 per cracker. I was on one of those like jet blue fucking flights where they sell you. the cheese and crackers. Like, she actually buy them, like, uh, Caesar. You're on there, like Julius Caesar eating grapes and cheese and cracker. And all of a sudden I popped your fucking cracker.

And that plane started spinning, Jack. And they had, uh, they had, like, uh, what is that, like a satellite radio on the flight? I'll never forget. They had the disco one. And it was throwing heat. They had like boogie, yugi and all that shit. And that steward has told me to take those things off. I told the fuck you, circle around for another hour.

I'm throwing heat up here with this cheese. cookie. I love you, Julian. I'm happy you call. What I'll ask a Lee. Before we let you go, I was just looking at the mint cookies, and I was noticing that there's really, there's nothing, that it's all really good ingredients in it. It's only, like, weed, flour, butter, sugar milk.

Like, there's no preservatives or anything like that. Is that a choice or why, like, it's great that it's all natural, but like why, because all the, if you've got a mint brownie, somewhere else you wouldn't be able to pronounce anything in it well here's the thing if you can believe it that brownie that you got in your hand let me ask you where did you um get that from divine wellness okay those guys order every week from us so that that brownie that you got in your hand even though you're sitting in los angeles that was probably made in the last 10 days oh yeah it's fresh as hell it's right i already had one this morning for breakfast it's fresh as a motherfucker

it's fresh as a motherfucker all our stuff sells out every week so we actually don't need to put preservatives in it because everybody that buys our products knows pop it in your freezer it'll keep for over a year okay because our stuff freezes really well we don't develop products that aren't going to withstand you know storage and that kind of thing because we want people to be able to purchase the product take it home and consume it that day if they feel like it but if they want to wait three months, all they got to do is pop it in their freezer. And our stuff will last for over a year. So it doesn't

need preservatives, really. Yeah, and all our ingredients are high quality. The cannabis is all high quality. Most of our medicine is grown outdoor, organic. Not all of it, I'm not going to say it's 100%

organic. It's almost impossible to grow organic weeds. Everybody knows that. But outdoor, you've got a little more opportunity for that. Most of the product that we use is outdoor. So yeah, it's just all good quality stuff. I'll tell you, I ate that little

brunley before breakfast with some caramel corn. It's starting to rock in this motherfucker right now, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, and always on an empty stomach, you know, I mean, always worked better before you eat. I think we were talking yesterday about working out,

working out when you're medicated and how great that can be. I love that, too. I usually get medicated before yoga class. I feel like I can hold these yoga poses for like 20 hours if I feel like it when I'm medicated. Because it's an analgesic, you know, it's like if you're feeling any kind of pain and you're medicated, it's going to be a lot less pronounced. So if you're working out and you're like, oh, man, this is kicking my ass.

But, you know, when you're medicated, you can work out longer. And when you're doing yoga, you can hold these poses longer. because you can just you can do more without having that pain kick in. That's why I love you. No, no, no, we're both on the same. I love going to yoga. I love lifting weights, going to kickboxing. You forget you're even fucking

there. You eat one of these, you eat some of this caramel milk one, you go throw some sidekicks for Jesus. After 10 minutes, you're covering the sweat, and you're like, what am I doing here? I don't even know who drove me here. I don't even know how I got here. Where's my skateboard? I love you. Have a great

week. Have a merry, merry Christmas. And if you ever come to the side of town again, you got my number calling me and I meet your divine wellness and we'll shoot the shit. I love you. Thank you very much for you. Sounds good. Thanks, Joey.

Take easy, man. Good talking to you guys. Have a great week. Merry Christmas. Go to antedloras.com right now. That is some heavy-duty shit. I'm telling you guys, this is, you don't know how lucky we are that we have anti-D-D-L-L-L-A.

It's great. It's A-U-N-T-I-E-O-O-R-E-E-S-E. What was that? That website, just how do you spell it? Oh shit. You're gonna break the fucking pop porn again, talk, sucker? This is what I'm talking about here.

You don't want me to get me high. But it's great talking to her and when she said that she almost lost her, like was losing clients and had to support her kid. And it's like you, you didn't never stop working. And she could have very easily gone on unemployment and gotten

welfare for her kid but she has a business that's making probably a hundred thousand dollars like hundreds of thousand dollars for the government or I don't know how much but I know a good amount of money for the government don't worry about the money only

no but that's what I'm saying like she overheating the caramel milk corn by the way you gotta be a fucking half a Puerto Rican Jew got to throw numbers damage then you're going to alert her she makes a great product yeah let's all What's up, cucketka?

Nothing. You want to get behind. You have to deal with the consequences now. No, I love it. Bro, you busted it. You asked it with some great fucking questions. But I don't want you to start talking about Dulling and get the feds all fucking riled up.

Next, you know, they're looking into her stuff because we're talking about dollars. She pays taxes and everything is on the level. I'll tell you, like I said, I've been eating edibles for years, for years, and I've seen them come and go. People have contacted me and said, we're thinking of putting together an edible company,

And I've talked them out of it Because I know what it takes I know how much marijuana it takes Unless you're growing it You're you know Taking the good stuff selling it And then taking the leaves and the shake And the stems and grinding it down

And using it for whatever You can't buy the shape to sell the stuff It has to be a part of the cycle Like Escobar He was using the blow for this, that The whole what are you spitting me for it though You know what I'm saying But I'm proud that

This is what we're talking about talk about. If things are bad right now, you don't have a job, you've got to go dig deep. And maybe it's what you love. That's right in front of you. So sometimes you're like, fuck, I'm happy I lost my job, you know, dancing in a peep show because my career was

going fucking nowhere. What kind of music you got for me? Give me some music. You want to do music? Yeah, you got Rick James for Uncle Joey? Yeah. I think you said you had Rick James, Rick James, the fucking temptations. Again, for my favorite brother, Leroy Neckbone out there. I didn't even finish the shout-outs, because that's

I roll here, Justin Delgado, Cosmic Kev, David Piers, Dante Morgan, Will Brown, R.J. Strockyo and your fucking nephew. I love you. Happy birthday, Cocksucker. John Henson, I don't fucking know. Tarrick, always my little fucking favorite lesbian, Mark Hard with that little flat fucking monkey. And what else? What else you want to talk about, Lee? It's fucking, it's Wednesday. I'm fucked up on this popcorn.

It's 7.05 in the a.m. I got the poster Stephen Machinowitz made for me. Where's the music, Lee? Oh shit, go Lee. What? What? What? What? Dance pump for Joey Lee.

Hit it, Lee. Kick it. Loudly. This is how, we got an elite system here. I want them to hear the fucking trumpets. Oh shit. Rick James is a temptation. Here you go, brother.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. It's coming. Oh, shit. I'm fucked up, guys. Wednesday. December 19. Start your fuck.

Fucking week off right, Uncle Joey. Oh shit. Since Lee's, literally, standing on the top. Huh? Oh shit. Boogie-woogie, motherfuckers. Go.

Top on the top. Golly. Golly. Golly. Golly. Golly. Golly. Golly.

Oh, my goodness. Lower that motherfuckerucker. I love you guys, man. Thank you for being a part of church of what's happening now every day and putting it together. I was telling Lydia a day that. I didn't write it down. Somebody sent an email to joey cocoadiers.net

Asking me that, you know, I always talk about movies or whatever. Why don't I ever fucking talk about what inspires me? And all the movies and the music I play, like when I'm in the gym and I'm stone, I listen to Standing on the Top. I think about Rick James and the addiction and what it must have felt like. And I cry. I get emotional. I really do, man.

I feel this fucking music. You get emotional? Oh, fuck yeah. And I think about, what are you laughing at? You don't think I cry? I always fucking cried, dog. I always get emotional. That's what I'm all about,

motherfucker, is the passion. Like Rod Stewart, in 84, it's passion. I'm back, like Gloria Gaynor's boyfriend from out of space, you know what I'm saying? Anyway, I'm fucked up.

Anyway. The stuff that motivates you. Stop, stop, stop, you're my little dog here. You know what it motivates me? You motivate me, Coxs not going to be honest with you inspire me. But what we're going to be honest with you inspire me. But what we're not.

really inspires me like uh in 1974 i used to hang out this porto rican naples in unisee new jersey around the corner because my mother had a bar on twenty nine street but on twenty six street that was portaricans

in central avenue they went i forget the school you go to washington one of those and i knew this kid uh julio who teaches jujitsu now north bergen but his brother and my mother they used to run numbers together and he took me to this dude's house

doom buggy one day was all fucked up on heroin right we're like And we're like in this ever fucking great And we went this guy's house on a Sunday Fucker he's doing heroin And we were listening to You know whatever the Beach boys What the fuck we're listening to thinking we're cool

And he's like nah Take that album off And he put on Richard Pryor album right And we're sitting there And I'll tell you what You know I had been from New York City I had cursed and stuff And my mother used to curse

And all the bullshit And uh Ryan Brock Fucking from Memphis and, you know, I used to, I knew about drugs and what was going on, and I heard curse words and shit, but he threw this album on, hit itly, and I nearly, my head almost blew up when I fucking heard this. Winoes deal with it, right?

Winole never get afraid of nothing but running out of wine. That's the only thing that panic of Wino. Wino could deal with Dracler. Right, anybody. Hey, man! Say, nigger, you were to kill. What's you doing picking in the people's window? What's your name, boy?

Dracula. What kind of name is that for a nigger? Where are you from, fool? Trans-o-Mania. I know where it is, niggil. You ain't the smartest motherfucker in the world, you know. Even though you is, the ugliest. Oh, yes, you're ugly, motherfucker.

Don't you get your teeth fixed, niggled? That shit hanging all out your mouth. Why don't you go get you an awful Donners? That's a dillage, you know, huh? This is 1975, boy, I get your shit together. What's wrong with your natural? Got that dirt all on the back of your neck. He's a filthy little motherfuckin' little motherfucker, too.

You got to be home for the sun come up. You ain't lying, mother woman. See your ass in the day, you gotta get arrested. You wanna suck what? Suck some black... Sucks on black, niggas. Cut it after that.

That was it. I heard that, and that was it. Bruce Lee was dead by that time. The Chinese and me was done. I was still going to karate, but I needed some direction. And I heard that. And I'll tell you,

I ran home and borrowed whatever it was, nine bucks, and then he came out with Bicentennial Nigger, and I had all those albums, and we'll go over those. And then years later, I don't know what the fuck. I was watching something on TV one night.

What was about, this one I was into the honeymooners and shit I was watching something this one they had three channels and we were talking about Lenny Bruce and I don't know I asked people about him is somebody calling up or something?

No I see you fucking playing DJ. No I'm getting ready for the fucking Oh so I didn't know who fucking Lenny Bruce was I had no idea you know and when I got locked up when I went to prison I read Lazy and dumb and be Lenny Bruce whatever the fucking

and I was blown the fuck away And the first thing I did when I got out of prison was I went to this video store in Boulder that had three floors on 28th Street. And I got everything on Lenny Bruce. And one of the things they had to stop, we keep knocking on this popcorn, cock-sucker. Let's give that time. No, no, no, no. It was you, cocksucker.

Knocking all my popcorn. I got nothing left. No, Andy Dolores is dead. She tapped out of popcorn. I got to eat fucking chocolate brownies. Now they're delicious, no, these things. You want one? No, no, no.

Eat half on camera with Uncle Joey. Let's get the day started, right? I'll be on your couch the rest of the day. No, you want to stand on no fucking couch. I got a shit to do. I really got a pregnant wife. I got everybody sitting around. You, the cats, and I can't take it.

I can't take it. I'm like the neighborhood and good fellas. I can't do it. So, hit that Lenny fucking brute. Now, before you turn this out, I want you young. I want you young guys to remember something.

If you're 20, 30, this is 1962 guys. Yeah, the videos in black and black and white. The video's in black and white. And I used to hate black and white when I was young. When I was 20, if you showed me something in black and white, I'd say, get that shit away from all that old shit. But you learn a lot from black and white shit. Listen to Lenny fucking Bruce.

And you want to set up what he's doing with the mic? Yeah, he opens up with this thing. Like when you go to Catholic Church, how you come up and throw the smoke like that, like you throw it out like the holy water. That's what he's opening up with. So hit it Lee. You know, I like to do that because it's classic illustration and I have the beholder.

Because I watch the people, when I get a lot of rejection, I assume that there's a lot of Jews out here who don't know what I'm doing, think I'm trying to hit them, or perhaps there's a lot of quasi-Catholics, missionary-trained Catholics, who, you know, Catholicism and think that Catholic worship statues

and symbols. In that case, they were hassling, I understand, this a mime group were doing their act in the park, and they didn't have a certificate, and they got busted, and some premium speech issue. Well, I think they missed one point.

They were doing their act in front of the Catholic Church, and see, on stage, in there was a stripper in the burlesque house, says, he goes, here it is, bud, da, da, da, da, da, it's cool. But let her do that in the public park on the way home. and their asses in jail. The reason for that is that the people in the park didn't ask for that.

In other words, you can yell fire in a crowd of theater if you're on stage, but don't go to it off stage. The theater is misbelieve. You understand how crazy that shit he's talking is? That's crazy fucking talk, but I love that shit. That's what I was trying to aspire to be.

I was trying to be something between Richard Pryor and this fucking nut. And then George Carlin came in there fucked up my whole mindset. But this guy, This fucking crazy Jew, I love him with all my heart. You do know that. That's the only way I wanted to go. When Jews go off the reservation, dog, they fucking go off the...

That's the next... That's the next album. When Jews go off the reservation. Jews off the reservation. Let me tell you some, when Jews go off the reservation, they go deep, though. They start dating Puerto Rican women and eating black ass and shooting heroin and becoming jazz musicians. They go deep like the guy Larry Hollow from the Fonnie Austin.

stars, you know, fucking... In fact, let's put a little fucking Spanish music on to close off this show today. I got nothing else to give you people. I talked... I took you to the hoop with Lenny Bruce. I took it to the hoop. How about a final all-stars? I'm trying to figure it out.

Little final all-stars, Anna Kaona. A-N-A. Press A-N-A-N-A-N. Okay. See what comes up. It's like a live footage. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. I got it. Hit it for these fucking savages. Hold on before you hit it. I love you, motherfuckers.

There's six more days left before the holidays. Do the right thing. Go out there. You know, send some cards, shake some ham, lick some assholes. Do what you need to do to cover the spread. The flying Jew is here. Remember, even if you go on vacation, take your Annet with you on vacation. Go to Onet.com and get your little travel pack together. Get the protein shakes. You can at least have one protein shake and feel better by yourself when you're eating the rest of that. shit, your mother's making for you.

Take your strong bones. So after you eat, you go for a little walk around the day, but I don't care how fucking cold is. You put your thermal on. You need to fucking cook up a number. You smoke a number, you put a fucking iPod on, you can walk from your house to the fucking moon. You understand me? I've done it before. I walk to the moon and back. Fucking smoking

refill, listen to, you know, Rod Stewart 84, whatever, with the faces. What else was I going to tell you? I'm sorry, I got allergies, and I don't have no medication. I got a call. Look at this motherfucker. Over here, this cat over here driving me crazy. Finney, I love your cocksucker.

Hug your cat. It's a national hug your cat. The dog, they feed them, brush them, do something nice for your fucking animals. They're sitting there like a bunch of months. It's a week before Christmas. In fact, oh, shut up, Finney. You're not even sagged this month.

I didn't pay your bill. Go fuck yourself too, cox sucker. The cat's over here arguing with me. Like, I don't know what I'm fucking talking about it. Go to Onet and get your package together. Get a little traffic. travel pack, get your workout going white weight to the 31st. Don't fuck around. Start now.

Ralphie May already dropped 2,000 fucking pounds. When you see Ralphie next, I'm just like a fucking X-ray. So, leave by example, Ralph, me. That's why I'm happy. He called into it. I want to thank Juliana from fucking anti-dloris.com. I want to thank my man, Lee Syatt.

We're going to come back Sunday. We don't know yet. Yeah, whatever. We'll figure out. Sunday, because we can't do one Wednesday. All right. Lee's leaving on Christmas Day. He's flying out the 25th like any good Jew. He caught the early $99, bring your Yamika flight with you. He's got a show up with a yarmulka, the passport. They're going to smell him to see if he's got gunpowder on him.

It's going to be beautiful for the 89. They're going to smell me? Sure, they're going to smell me. By that time, the fart will be drifting off, so you'll be okay. Oh, good. That fart's going to be on you for three days, like a cheap suit from Ross. Oh, on that? I love your cocksucker.

I'm happy you do this with me every morning. You're making me laugh. To all the motherfuckers on Twitter that give us love, to Red Band watching, to Joe Rogan. All you, you motherfuckers, happy Hanukkah to the Jews

out there in the struggle. Put on a little final off. Don't forget to go to Honnit. Joey Coco Diaz.net. We got Testicle Testament for fucking the holidays. Everybody's been going

and getting where I got my boss from on payloads. Do your thing. I love you. Stay black. Have a great day. Have a great weekend. Be safe.

Get the Christmas presents and we'll talk Sunday and Monday. All right. I love you, motherfuckers. Hit it a little honor Corona

for these motherfuckers. Oh shit. Larry Hall on the piano, the Flying Jew number one. There's the final all-stars, 1971. The movies called our Latin thing, we'll review it next week. Hit it! No, in a cajona, and the voice, I'm gladio to a heart. Your liberty never I'm going to be.