The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #133 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: January 26, 2022

Welcome to UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT..... It's Wednesday, January 26th.... This podcast ALWAYS is presented by ONNIT! Go to https://www.onnit.com/JOEY This episode is brought to you by Zip Recruiter, CBD Lion & DraftKings….. Go to https://www.ZipRecruiter.com/JOEY & Try it for FREE! Go to https://www.cbdlion.com Use Promo Code: JOEY For 20% OFF Your Order! Download the DraftKings SportsBook App & Enter Code: JOEY https://www.DraftKings.com/sportsbook to receive $280 in Free Bets when you Bet $5…. Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....

This podcast is brought to you by Onit. Go to Onit.com and look at the great selection of supplements. If you find something you like, pressing code Joey and get 10% off delivered right to your house. What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? It's Wednesday, the 26th of January. The joint is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. Like I said, 2022 is going to be a big year for you and for a lot of businesses.

but some industries are projected to grow even more this year, like pet services. Everyone adopted a new pet last year, and now somebody needs to train Fido. If you order business in one of these industries, you probably need to hire ASAP. There's only one place to go, and that place is ziprecruiter.com, put a slash in and Joey. And right now, you can try it for free. That's right. It's Wednesday, and you're getting something on the arm for free, Jack. You can easily review recommended candidates and invite them to your top choices to apply for your job.

ZipRecruiter's technology is so effective that four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a candidate within the first day. That's how good they are. But listen, talk is cheap. Now you can try ZipRecruiter for free. Just go to ZipRecruiter.com slash joey. That's ziprecruiter.com. Joey, ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. The joint is also brought to you by CBD Lion, providing quality CBD, from the gummies to the tinctia to the capsules.

CBD Lion has your back. Go to CBD Lion.com right now. Read the third party lab results and how it can work for you. If you find something, check out and at the box press and Joey, joint or joint or joint. church and get 20% off delivered right to your house. That's C, B, D, Lion. The joint is also brought to you by. Oh my God.

Draft Kings right here from fucking Jersey. There's four teams remaining in the NFL this weekend. That's it. And you can bet them at Draft King Sportsbook, the official sports betting partner of the NFL. You count them down to the Super Bowl 56 Lawrence Taylor's own number. New customers can get 56 to 1 odds this weekend on any team. Just bet $5 and get $280 and free bets if your team wins.

That's a score right there. Now, if you're not a new customer, listen to me. Draft Kings and Uncle Joey got your back. You can experience the conference championships with the same game pales. Fucking tremendous. Combine multiple bets from the same game for a bigger payout. The more legs you add, the more money you can win. How do you like that from your Uncle Joanna on Wednesday morning?

This weekend you got San Francisco at the Rams, I think. And you also got Kansas City playing Cincinnati. This is fucking fun-filled. If you watch the game last weekend, they're not fucking around. Now, draft kings are safe, secure, and reliable. And you can get your deposit and withdraw your cash whenever you want. So let's get this party started tonight. Download the Draft King Sportsbook app now.

Use promo code Joey and get 56 to 1 odds on any NFL team this weekend. Betches $5 and win $2.80 and free bets when your team wins. That's promo code Joey, J-O-E-Y, and get 56 to 1 odds at Draft King Sportsbook, the official sport betting partner of the NFL. You got to be 21 old New Jersey. Indiana, New York, PA, Colorado. New customers apply. Minimum, $5.5 deposit and a dollar wager required.

Who's better than you? Nobody, one per customer, restrictions do apply. See draftkings.com slash sportsbook for details. If you got a gambling problem, take care of it. Call 1-800 gambler. But if not, this weekend is your motherfucking oyster. Let's make it happen. Download the Draft King Sportsbook app.

Use code Joey. Let's get this motherfucking party started, Jack. What's happened, you bad, ego-looking motherfuckers? It's Wednesday, January 26. A beautiful motherfucking day here on the plantation. We're trying to make it happen. People want to bother me when I'm starting this beautiful fucking episode of the joint. I'm feeling good.

I'm feeling better. I just smoked a little before the podcast to loosen up a little bit. get the Espitos Malos out of here. I didn't know if I told you, yeah, we're back Monday, but I'm also back mentally on the fucking, if you ain't high by 2 o'clock, go fuck your mother. It's back in full fucking swing. I've been doing it for 30 days now,

so that puts me back in the club and back as the CEO. If you're not high by 2 o'clock, I don't know what to do with yourself. You know what I'm saying? Me, I'm happy again because I get to smoke a little tooth's roots and walk on the fucking treadmill. Speaking of the treadmill, I was on that motherfucker this morning doing my little joint. Listen to power rage again, I've been going through.

Every day I put in a different hour. Like yesterday was fucking pyromania the day before. Saturday was high and dry. Fucking Friday. No, Friday I didn't walk. Yes, I did. I walked at night. I put a little Black Sabbath gray at his hits.

I'm always mixing it fucking up on the treadmill. But listen, like I told you, motherfuckers, the treadmill got a lot easier. When I do three fucking bong hits. I don't even put Vizine in my eyes. I go out there, raw dog in it. You know what I'm saying? It's early in the morning. I ain't going to bump into no parents.

I ain't going to bump into no money. I'm going to bump into the fucking relics at the gym. And they know I like the fucking smoke some reef from time to time. But besides that, it's been a great motherfucking week so far before the podcast started. My shoulder popped out. So if I make funny faces like I got to take a shit, it's got nothing to do with that.

My fucking shoulder popped out. Me and Mike Watson had hit the fucking blunt of the, He had one of his fucking cocoa blunts And I had a regular blunt from the dudes And we took a couple of hits Nice nice it's gonna snow It was supposed to snow yesterday It came down for a fucking maybe

A fucking minute I was excited too I'm like fucking some snow people gonna be off the streets My daughter's at school That means when she gets home at fucking four or three We gotta have a little snowball fight Caput's it turned to fucking water I don't know about this climate shit All I know is that when I was growing up in Jersey,

you didn't see this sidewalk from fucking December to like March. And then you started seeing like yellow snow, the first snow, that the dog's pissed on. You see those little frozen shits. And then you see like 22 inches of snow on top of that. That's the fucking Jersey I grew up in. People call on me every day. Joey, how cold is it?

I mean, it's 37. It was 15 last week. That was cold. But besides that, guys, I grew up in this fucking state when January was zero. Zero. Like, I've been thinking, oh, my God, I was thinking about my fucking past January's here. Like, I did three things that I still remember the cold fucking weather. Like, I could still remember pretty much what I wore to combat the weather. Like, the coldest night I think I ever encountered as a young kid.

I had a lot of cold nights. But in January, like, I remember when I had to cut through a cemetery one night, And it was freezing. I had a pee, and my pee froze in my pants, because I took a shit, and I peed, but I didn't pull my pants all the way down, and the pee froze in my pants. And then I remember another night when we were up at Hudson County Park. That was one of the coldest nights I ever fucking encountered. I had to stop, like, every two blocks to duck in to get warm.

People were throwing this out. I wasn't even giving a fuck. I was just going into businesses with my buddy loops. We're like, fuck it. That's the night we went to the wing fung. on 78th and Burger Line. That was one of the last times I ran out of that motherfucker because we were going there and robbed from them,

like not robbed physically, but we'd go in there and get like three entrees, soups and shit, and then we'd run the fuck out of there. We must have done that 20 times. I think by 80, 81, they got used to us, so now they would fucking lock the doors and shit. And it was just bored. I got bored with them chasing me.

But one night we were in there, and then there was another. night. Tonight I went to see missing persons in Passaic. There's a fucking pretty good venue in Passaic. I only went to Passaic two times to start theater. Early

on, before I knew who the fuck they were. I went to see Rainbow and the fucking scorpions and I knew Michael Shankler was there. I went with this fucking dude that was a big... He was into that type of music and he had the ticket.

but the night I went there with Fernie Basasuto and my man Baniari we froze to death and we had a fucking car. He had a car and we were freezing with the heater on that's how fucking cold Jersey was that's what I fucking remember by Jersey and on the corners

the puddle in the daytime the sun would melt a little bit of the fucking snow so the corners the corners excuse me would just be draining like little melted fucking thing but if it gapped, like after about by lunchtime, the drain would start to fill in, and you wouldn't know it,

you'd be walking down the street, concentrating on staying warm and shit, minding your own business, and you stepped off the fucking sidewalk, and your whole foot went into that, because you thought it looked like ice. It would freeze. Every 30 seconds, the motherfucker would freeze.

You could step on it, keep going, and go, fuck, I can't believe I went through the ice. Your foot would be, you would have to wear, even the galoshes. It went through, I remember I was a galosh man. I didn't like winter boots and shit. Yeah, I was a galosh man growing up.

Those galoshes like 10 fucking bucks. You strap them on your shoes over your boots and they don't let you slip. I was a galosh man. So I could tell you those galoshes are good if you're not going to go deep sea fucking fish diving. If your foot goes to the ice, the galoshes do no good. Your whole fucking foot gets wet.

And all of a sudden you're walking home and you're hearing like, and after about another mile that fucking foot freezes, fuck up, dog. That's what I think that's what inspired my fungi toenail that I got fucking frosted all the way to the end when I was a kid. I remember those fucking nights. There was

the prosaic theater. There was the night with Folcaracho. Then it was another night I can't remember. It doesn't fucking... Oh, it was the same night. Then that I ate the quailude with folk and those guys. I couldn't make it home. I had to sleep in a fucking alleyway. Until this day, I got to ask myself how to fuck I stayed warm

in that motherfucker all night. Because when I woke up, I couldn't move parts of my fucking body. I think it was the Kualoo that stopped. What's that shit when your bones freeze outside? If you don't have fucking weather, if you don't have, like, gloves on and you keep throwing... What's it called? Yeah, frostbite. If you have frostbite for a few minutes, the fucking finger falls off or whatever the fuck happens.

Dog, I slept out in this frigid motherfucker all night. I had igloos around me. That was about the time. Whenever I think about this, dog, listen, guys, I was. was a retarded young man. I have no regrets. I will always tell you this because I don't want you to think like I was a

five beta cap, but when you look at the pictures I posted a few weeks ago, my shoulders are big and, you know, I look good and stuff, but I was a fucking complete moron. And I'll never forget, like 80, 81. I think I told this story on the Joe Rogan podcast, and people hated me for this. I had gotten some dough.

That was when I fucking, cashed the checks. I cast these three checks and I ended up making like 20 grand. I was in high school. When I put the 20 grand in my drawer under my socks and shit, nobody ever knew that money was there. My friends would come over. I was living with the

bend. There's nobody. And I would just take the 20 off the top every now. Like, it was like my own ATM machine. I don't know how long it lasted. It don't fucking matter. But I was a big shot. The first week I got the money, right? And some guy came up to me. That some girl had a crush on me. So I met

one night we bought like an eight pack of beer each and we got some weed and we went behind this fucking fire department on kennedy boulevard up the block from roses the now defunct roses deli my heart goes out to tony i loved that fucking place i went there like five times last year you know i couldn't go up there a lot to north perrigan but he closed and uh you know first it was hashways and now it was Tony's, you know, a Roses deli on RIP, on Kennedy Boulevard. I don't know where my friends are going to go now. That was one of my hangs too. I go and they get a quick ham and cheese.

They got a tremendous roast beef with wet muts and gravy that would make your fucking asshole hairs curl the fuck up. But I took it to that fire department up the block from roses. And we just went behind there. And we were swapping spit. We were drinking our beers. It was cold. When you got a hard on, it don't matter.

You know what I'm saying? When you're 18, 17 and your dick is hard, I could be nude and I could be one of those mocks at the Green Bay game out there yelling and shit freezing their asses off. I don't know how those motherfuckers do it up in Green Bay. And then to drive home with that Green Bay shirt after they lost, ooh! That's a tough motherfucker. My heart goes out to Green Bay and its fans.

I don't know where Aaron Rogers is going to end up. Who gives a fuck? We got football this weekend. Cocksucking. That's all that matters. Listen, you know me, I love my little draft king shit. I love doing my stuff on there. But I'm just sticking the football.

You know what? For a couple weeks there, I was playing basketball during the week and stuff like that. 25 bucks, I would bet it over or something. You know what? It took away from me during the week. I didn't like it. I'd always be fucking watching the computer. I'd have to stop to see what the score.

I'm not one of those guys that will watch the whole fucking game, but I would stop to, you know, I'll be watching a wife. My wife, I can hold on. There's three minutes left. Let me watch the last. I don't need that. So I'm just football only, which means I got these this week, and then the motherfucking Super Bowl.

I ain't betting the Pro Bowl. That's for suckers. There's a lot of the shit you can bet on it. Anyway. So we went there. We hit it off that night. We drank the A-Pack. We swapped some spit.

I think she gave me a little bit of titty. You know, I was impressed. Wow. So we're like, listen, I'm going to walk you home. But we're definitely going to meet tomorrow night. I was light that night. I only took like $40 out. I was bringing the whole rollout.

We were going for broke. We even did a couple bumps. He liked the bumps. The guy she was dating, the reason why we sneaked that first date, and we snuck after that for about, I don't know, we dated like maybe for four months. The reason why we did everything on the down low,

because she had broken up her boyfriend like five years. He started dating when she was like dead, you know, in those relationships and they're fucking like the 11 and a half and shit like that. and now she was like 17. I had to be like either 17 or 18 or 81. Yeah, I was 18 fucking years old.

And I walked it to a home. I was a complete gentleman. But I was a gentleman with fucking desires. Do you know what I'm saying? That's a different type of gentleman. You know, at least I'm honest enough to admit it. Ladies, if you listen to this, when you bump into these guys,

then a gentleman, yeah, they're gentlemen. They open up the door. You know, they want your guys. grandmother to come to the movie theater and all that bullshit but guess what they got desires and if your grandmother does come to the movie theater i want you to know you're gonna have to pay for that lady you have to lick a nut when you don't want it on a plane because we're gonna use it against you what about the time i took your grandmother to the fucking movies come on sniff my nut right here on the plane i'll put you under the blanket nobody knows nothing you know what i'm saying just put your mask on make sure

your mask is on so you don't get thrown off the plane and uh you got your little I don't know what's going on anymore. I just know I'm happy and I'm having a good time with you motherfuckers on a beautiful Wednesday morning. The attitude is back. I'm feeling better. So the next night, I go home, I drop my girl Ann off. That was her name.

I dropped her off. She lived like on 80 fucking 3rd Street or something. I had to walk home in the cold. I don't know if I took a bus. I don't remember. Doesn't fucking matter, Joey. So the next morning I woke up, You know when you wake up when you're 18, you got that dick of debt.

You can jerk off twice and nothing happens. You don't even break a sweat. And you take a shower and all day long you're thinking about what you're going to do to some girl that night. It's ladies, I need for you to understand this. This is us. We don't sit there going, I wonder if I should give a dozen flowers or 24 flowers. No, we're deciding whether we're going to suck your ass first, your pussy, tie you up. You know, we're trying to fucking look at our bedroom and remember.

We also like to think about what we didn't do to you The first two dates Because a lot of times you go on your first date with a chick You start fucking dry hump And you get to eat some ass and fucking on the way home You got I forgot to tie her wrist up I'll do it on the second date You know what I'm saying

So you always go back to improve But I had never been with at the time I could lie to you guys and tell you I was slinging dick like my name was in slinging no dick So anytime pussy percent of itself I would go fucking bananas like any other young fucking guy does, right? So the next day, dog, I kept thinking about this chick's skinny body

and how I was going to suck her tities. And nothing was going to happen. She was a Catholic fucking girl. I was lucky I kissed her neck that night and kissed a titty. I think she fucking cried when I sucked the titty. I was in no danger. Half of us weren't. And now you come to full realization how much of a fucking idiot we were at that age.

So the next day I wake up early in the morning, dick hard. ready to go and I look at the fucking window and there's got to be you know 8 to 12 inches of snow you know my fucking heart broke

but my dick stayed harder than fucking mathematics jack what did I do I didn't give up you think I was going to give up bah if you think I'm going to give up I took that shovel

and I walked all the way to 85th Street from the Bender's house I don't know whose shovel I borrowed I don't give a fuck I think I even brought on the bus with me. I don't give a fuck, Jack. I brought that fucking thing up there and I fucking dug it out. Guys, I still remember on the fireman coming out and going, what are you doing, kid? I'm like, nothing. I'm volunteering. I wasn't fucking volunteering. I was building,

so when he caught me, I had to do like a pathway. So it was perfect. Like, nobody walked back there. There was nothing going on behind the firehouse. Nobody even knew it fucking existed. There was a little spot back there. I fucking shoveled it out. You know, it's freezing out. I'm shubling out there. I don't know if it was January, February, December. I don't fucking know. I'm out there fucking doing my thing. And the next thing, you know, I'm looking around,

and I see like a little carpeting dog, like a ripped carpeting. Remember when fucking Paulie and Christopher was stuck in the Pine Barrens in the van? And they found the carpet in the back and they ripped it in a half and dust and fingernails and toe jam and pussy juice and crabs

and anything else that could live in a car. was in that carpet. I did not give a fuck. I took that carpet. I beat it against the wall a couple times. I shook a bunch of stuff out, and I'm like, maybe I'll put a little like an igloo together. Guys, I built like a fucking foot little thing to keep us warm,

and I put the carpet on the bottom. I think there was some kind of fencing, and I put like an old blanket back there to block the wind. I had, in my mind, and you're fucking perverted, disgusting. hard on when your 18-year-old mind, I thought I was doing the right thing. Now listen, if I was fucking any smart, I should have gave me one of my older friends

some cash and just took it to a hotel. I had the fucking money. There was tons of hotels on fucking Tunley Avenue. Tons of them, those little dirty hotels where even if you don't have a date, you'll end up with a date. Those hotels on Tunley Avenue on Route 1 and 9 there, from North Bergen all the way down to Jersey City,

whatever's left. If you don't have a date, just check your time. into that. Somebody will knock on your door. I don't know if it's going to be the woman of your dreams, but somebody will knock on your door. So, instead of doing that,

I was all excited and I fucking built the fucking little love egg glue out there and I went to the liquor store. I brought beers already to try to impress her. Like, ha ha ha ha, ha. I have beers. Because anytime you're on a date, your first

jaunt before you get in it. If you think getting up pants is going to be hard, that's one thing, but fucking going to get somebody to get liquor for you, that was another. So I had people that would always get your liquor, but when I was going to get liquor, people would tag on, and then it would go from one eight-pack or bottle of fucking Boone's

farm to eight cases of beer, so I didn't want that to happen. So I went there in the daytime got my little fucking eight-pack, got her like a bottle, I don't even know. It wasn't beer that she was drinking. I do remember that. I don't know what I got it, and I don't want to stick my foot in my mouth. I don't know if it was Boone's farm or whatever.

But I hit it all out there. I put some fucking snow on it like Johnny Romantico. And I fucking went home. I took a shower. I cut my toenails. I put cologne on the whole fucking Uncle Joey package when he's 18. And I walked up there for her to tell me that she wasn't allowed out that night. And that was the adventures of Joey's love igloo.

If I was smart, I would have gone into the igloo, done a grandma blow, and bang one out by myself and came on the carpet. It would know the fuck young kids do. but I don't even know what I did but those are my adventures in the cold motherfucking hairs in New Jersey so I know all about the weather here I see all these people

I see the little fucking ugly girl with the red hair yelling about the climate I don't know Greta whatever Greta Van Stone I don't fucking know what the name is and I'm here to tell you that the weather has fucking change a lot in New Jersey

it's not that fucking human in the summer like I remember it I remember it hate in a fucking summer. This, I did great. A little bit of humidity, you know, like Jay-Z, you know what I'm saying? Swipe your fucking bug off your chest there.

But I don't remember like a bad summer and this winter so far, guys. You know, people bust my balls all the time. You were in California, you fucking idiot. It's 75 degrees here. You know what? That's great. I lived in that weather for a long time

and I lived in the Colorado climate for a long time, which is 12 to 13 fucking years. I've lived in it. I've been there, done that. I was ready for this, and I got to be honest with you, it's not that bad. I'll tell you, fucking Monday night, it was cold as a motherfucker out. I remember, no, I think it was Monday night, Sunday night, the night of the games. My daughter and my wife were at a friend's house with a, like, a fucking, when the kids get together, I'll play date.

It had to be like 6 o'clock. There was dinner upstairs, but I was like, I already had fucking. and Salisbury steak. You know, it was really fucking good. She made it with some mushrooms and onions. My wife hit it out of the park. But I didn't think I wanted to eat Salisbury steak again. But I got to fucking be honest with you.

It wasn't bad. So I said, you know what? Maybe I was in the mood maybe like, get like, I don't know, pizza or something. I don't know, something completely different. Guys, I opened up my door and I felt that gust of win. And I said, you know what? I'm going to eat that Salisbury steak

because this other shit it's too fucking cold out I had a sweatshirt on I had my jacket I just didn't feel like warming up the fucking car that still sucks when you get up in the morning but I got it down to a science since I lived in Colorado

I didn't have it to a science here because well I didn't have a car was it going to warm up my bus I didn't have a fucking nothing then so here you know I just go out there start the car put the defrost on the discerer the

Subaru has seats that warm up, tremendous, your assholes on fire, you keep your hemorrhoid nice and warm. But can I do something 15 minutes? I go out there that I haven't fucking taken the snow off my window. I don't know how long. It's not like Colorado snow. So I just sit in the car and go for a fucking ride. That's it. When the car gets nice and warm, I'm fucking gone.

No drama done. The other thing I wanted to talk about today, I want to talk to you guys about something that. I don't know if it's always been like this or if this just started during the pandemic. I thought there was a lot of change when COVID hit, you know, social, a lot of social consciousness and all this stuff, you know. Whether it was good or bad, that's got nothing to do with me. You know, everybody adjusted to whatever they could

and they played the game to the best they can't. You know, it's great to see two football players punching each other and the one guy's helmet says inspire change on it, you know what I'm saying? So it's fucking tough to digest things. I'm an old school type guy and I see things for what they are. There's some things that could change. There's some things you can educate people on, but people are who the fuck they are. You know, so.

But for some reason or another, the last, I've noticed this a lot and a lot of people are not going to be happy with this conversation. And I really don't give a fuck because what do I got to lose at this point in the game? you know, I've always liked Neil Young. You know, I've always liked fucking Neil Young, okay? I went to see a movie when I was a kid, you know, Neil Young, the other two fucking mooks. And I just really like their harmonizing, you know, Crosby Still's Nash and Young.

Two or three mooks, I don't know, Crosby stills Nash and Young. Three, I'm sorry, four, whatever the fuck. So I've always dug his music and stuff. I watched that movie at the Fairview Cinema, you know, close to 40 fucking years ago. And I really enjoyed New Young. I don't know. And I had the album, you know, which I'm trying to get now, because I really fucking like it a lot.

Russ never sleeps. So I liked that album. I liked that. That was a big summer for me. It was like summer of 74 or summer of 75 or 76. Who the fuck knows? I just like Neil Young. I like his music.

I like, you know, I'm goofing on years now with Crosby Stills Nash and Young. I like all that music. I like Ohio. You know, I like John Fogany. I like that time period. I was really fucking impressed

when I saw that Neil Young was friends with Rick James in Canada in the 60s and they both had the same type of views and stuff about the war. You know, whatever. But fucking Neil Young always has to fucking raise his

You guys are too young to remember this shit. I think I mentioned that on the podcast. Sorry about my shoulders fucking killing me for some reason. I don't know, maybe 19, 87 before I got locked up. You know, I was a fan of everybody. I wasn't really involved in music like I was when I was younger. Before I got locked up, you know, I was Buck Wild. I think it was the year that Def Lepp had released Pawsome Sugar on me.

and you too released whatever that really good album about the orchard tree or the Joshua tree the orchard tree whatever the fuck it is. So, you know, I was into music but I wasn't like I was when I was

82, 81, those years, 70, 79, 80. But I still remember like I liked MTV and shit. I was watching MTV news one time. And they were talking about Neil Young attacked the other crazy man, Eric Clapton.

I don't know what the fuck that motherfucker is smoking. That guy got hit in the head with a fucking guitar. You know, it's time for somebody to go talk to fucking Eric Clapton. You know what I'm saying? You ever see the movie The Irishman? Like, they kept saying somebody's got to go over and talk to the Hoffa. It's time

to talk to fucking Eric Clapton. I mean, you know what? Anybody got Cheryl Crow's number? Because I guarantee she could get through to Eric Clapton. You know what I'm saying? Like, somebody's got to get through to Eric Clapton. I appreciate that motherfucker.

You guys know I'm a fan of his till the end. You know, the racist things. It was in 73. People feel differently now than they did. Then he was on heroin.

He made mistakes. I forgave them, you know. He said some fucking crude shit up on stage, you know. Doesn't really fucking matter. I respect his guitar playing. And I respect him. You know, he fucking built that place

for junkies. He sold all. his guitars to fund the place to help recovering heroin addicts. He's done a lot of good things. So before you fucking, you know, a lot of times I got to say this because four weeks from now I talk to a friend of mine or I'll get an email from a different, somebody who listens to the show and goes, I didn't like when you stuck up for that guy or put him down. I'll tell you the reasons why I don't like him, but I also tell you the reasons why I respect

these guys. I respect the shit out Eric Clapton. First time I saw fucking Eric Clapton Was jumping up and down and Tommy With the Who When they do eyesight to the blind And I knew I loved that motherfucker And I knew his music

I just didn't know him You know It's just a lot of motherfuckers That do no wrong around me And I love him and I'm fans of him But and I've met Eric Clapton I met Eric Clapton I saw him at a comedy show one time

I said hello to him And then I saw him on LaBraya Boulevard Walking He was parked in the car and I waved and he smiled at me. Dog, I love fucking Eric Clapton. But this shit the last three years, listen, whether he's right or wrong, it's just that he's too old to be arguing with these motherfuckers anymore.

Like he's just too old, Eric, you know, first you're not going to play. When he wrote the vaccine song or whatever the fuck, the anti-vaccine song or the COVID song, I'm like, oh, don't start with this shit. But then he started making fucking crazy statements yesterday. And you know what, guys, sometimes for these older guys, I think that, you know how it sucks when you haven't put on an hour for 10 years? It must suck.

I haven't put on a special since 2018, and it sucks, you know? An artist has to stay active and do the best he can, you know, every couple of years to put something out. When you don't put something out for 10 years, that's it. You know, you're going into a different realm of your life. But at the same time, things are changing around no more. But your phone ain't ringing like it used to. You lost a bunch of friends.

Those people who thought you were fucking brilliant, you know, don't even talk to you anymore. You know, so what do you do? You fucking sit at home, and now you look at the success that influences have and Joe Rogan has and all these people. And you go, well, maybe I'll open up my mouth. And they do, and they get fucking bashed over the head right away. I don't know what happened with Eric. He wasn't going to perform in COVID places that he was going to perform in them.

It's been a fucking meltdown over there. Eric, baby, you're fucking killing me. I love you. I'm here. I got your back, cock sucker. And then you got Neil Young, you know, who owns Linell, I think. Doesn't he own a train company, a Choo Choo Choo Company? and, you know, he's got so much going on.

He's fucking Darrow Hanna and that old dry pussy. I think he's banging Darrowana. I don't fucking know. It doesn't really make a difference. I shouldn't be saying these things. But, you know, he comes out, you know, and you know why he's doing it. The article explained it to tell you that Spotify pays who guts.

He has nothing to lose by doing that, by threatening them. I'm getting out of here unless your Rogan's thrown off the platform. You know, people are just. People are just like, you know, it's uncorro-upon, you know, all this shit. The way people are attacking Rogan and Dr. Malone. I mean, that dude, they're throwing eggs at his house and shit. And you know what, man, at the end of the day, when you think about it,

this shit is all misleading fucking information. It's all misleading information. You haven't gotten good information since day one about this fucking shit. At this point, just move on with your life. Do the best you can't. Take your vitamins, jump up and down, eat your wife's pussy, and do the best you can't. Move forward.

If they don't want you to go to work, we work around this shit. But to sit there and, every fucking day, they try to bombard. That's why you got to get the fuck out. You got to live your life. I'm very happy I got it in December. It lifted a fucking tremendous weight off my fucking shoulders.

It didn't prove anything to me. It just proved to me that I could live. And I feel happy about it. But at the same time, these fucking lunatics are like losing their fucking minds on an old age. Neil Young got more money than any of you motherfuckers know what to do it. We all say if I haven't had Neil Young money yet, do it then. Neil Young, go and listen to 10 people. Go to 10 of your fans and go, what would you do if you had $50 million?

And these guys are selling their fucking things now. Their whole fucking catalogues. I think Neil Young did it too. Neil Young. Dylan did it. I mean, they're all doing it. Motley Crew did it. Motley Cruz's complete with Mac, got some loot.

But Motley Crew got like a buck. A buck. I don't even think Motley Crew got a lot of money. Motley crew got a million, $125 million maybe, something like that. But you got divided by four fucking guys. So at the end of the week, you're like, what the fuck? What was it?

I guarantee they're all busy doing heroin or whatever. Not everybody wrote the same amount, so it all works out of the fucking wash, Nicky Six. But I'm talking about this Neil Young guy, and this isn't where I'm going with this either. But we joked around, we had a good time. I'm trying to break it down for you guys, but think about it. For somebody to call up and go, unless you get rid of this guy, I'm taking my music. Now, let me tell you something. I know Neil's intelligent.

I hope so. I hope that dementia and nobody hit him in the head with a guitar. or, you know, Crosby and Stills aren't sending fucking hate mail to him. I don't know what's going on with Neil. So what if Spotify doesn't answer him and they keep Rogan on it? I mean, listen, 276, you know, everybody's trying to get this kid off the thing. You know, Rogan's trying his best. I like what he's doing.

He makes me laugh because of the reaction he's getting. people are like I mean if you read I love when white people are blasted what's that word they say I'm

flabbergastic people are roaring with anger you know I see people all day long there ain't nobody roaring with fucking anger around me you know like they

the statements he makes now I don't listen to all of Joe's podcast I don't you know I'm busy I'm doing shit I get the realm I talk to my friends who listen. I speak to Joe from time to time. He breaks it down

from me. We giggle. And we laugh because it's like at the end of the fucking week, it's comedians talking. Nobody has put that together yet. That if you really take seriously what a comedian says, you're out of your

mind. But to better phrase this, you know, man, when did we become bigger than what's going on? When did we become bigger than what's going on? I'm just, listen,

I love Neil and whatever, but he's out of his fucking mind. He already knows the answer that if it's between him and Rogan, they're going to tell Neil to go fuck himself. And I know he's got a new album coming out. Woo! You know, ain't nobody waiting for that shit.

So, no disrespect, Neil, but, you know, everybody wants to fucking listen to TikTok music and shit. You know, unless you're killing people What a concert. Hey, nobody buying your music, you know what I'm saying? So, so, but the thing that kills me the most about this is that all of a sudden, people could dominate a platform.

People could, you know, it started a few years ago with Rogan, you know, maybe a year ago, I'm sorry, a year and a half ago, when the LGBTQ people that worked there were threatening to quit. Or friends and families of LGBTQ. people were threatening to quit. Now, this is just logic. I'm not trying to be an asshole, but think about it. You got a company of 100 people, and you've got, after all these years of busting your hump,

you know, yeah, you got little fucking people on there. You got Joey Diaz and the R.E. Doing podcasts, nobody gives a fuck about that. The new white America, the new kid from 18 to 34, is getting groomed on fucking Rogan. and that's just the way it is. Accept it, you fucking maggots. It's just the way it is.

It's what's happening. So for now, I, you know, I feel for these employees who are sitting in an office and the guy that this company they're working for is putting so much stock in this fucking, you know, go-goots. You know, and it's got to affect it. Like it's got to go, well, we're giving money to a guy that's going off on people like me. I don't know.

I don't know. And that's fine. Now, let me ask you a question. We've all had day jobs. We've all had jobs. We've all been putting on weird situations. If you're in a job, and I don't know what they're making for a living, but I do know that you were looking for a job when you found that one.

I've been very unhappy in my life with jobs. You know my fucking career with jobs. But at the same time, how long do you want to stay there and take this? If it really bothers you, get your shit, get the other three guys in the office, or the three ladies in the office, or the he-shees. I don't know, I'm not here to offend anybody. And let's get the fuck out of here. Let's get a job at a restaurant who appreciates us, who will put us in a safe haven.

Are you guys with me here in a little safe haven where nobody's going to offend you? That's what I would do. But if you think I'm going to take the three other. employees or the six other employees decide myself and march into the office of Mr. Netflix and say you know, Mr. Spotify

and go hey Mr. Spotify me and my six friends here are very angered by the comments Joe Rogan makes and we're threatening to quit if you don't throw them off your platform. Well, I appreciate your fucking set of balls or

whatever but at the same time are you fucking crazy are you fucking retarded this guy generates millions of dollars and this is what I would tell him as Mr. Spotify like listen I don't like Joey Dears

I don't like Ari I don't like Rogan either but this Rogan guy is paying the bills so if you want to walk I understand you wanting to walk because you don't agree with his views but think about it

I can't get rid of him over with seven people feeling the numbers are not correct It's not fair that you put me in that fucking barrel. 11 million people listen to our little fucking friend in Texas. But because your feelings get hurt, we got to get rid of them. And I understand, but just, I'm not putting anybody down here. I'm just saying, just you thinking that way,

that I'm going to march in there with my six friends. And I'll tell you what, I got news for you. Even if you march in with your 100 friends, they're not going to get rid of Joe Rogan. I'm sorry to hear that. You know, I don't want to say this because I don't want to ruin. Mike's watching the wire and a lot of you motherfuckers are watching the wire. So I can't even use this as a reference.

But I use this as a reference for me. When and here, this is different. So you've got seven employees that are not happy, correct? You've got seven employees that are not happy. Or 11 employees that are not happy. And you come to me and I have 100 employees, maybe 100, 50 employees. Your percentage is fucking nothing.

And again, no offense to nobody. I'm just talking to you from two perspectives here before you go out and fucking say, well, me and my three friends are leaving because Joe Diaz says fuck, whatever. Well, let me tell you something. You know, in this case, this is the same thing. You're not bigger than what's going on.

For you to come into my office, whether you're Neil Young, whether you're fucking, the guys at Spotify or the hers at Spotify, and the guys at Netflix or the hers at Netflix and come into my office and threaten me with your job over Dave Chappelle or Joe Rogan or whoever the fuck,

you're completely out of line. Like if you really think about what's going on, you know, I love the gay community. I fucking loved them. I had a great relationship with my friends in California. I spoke to them. I have no gay friends here. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with Jersey.

But in California, was there for 23 years. I had my neighbor. I had Eric who I loved, I spoke to him the other day. I would love to get him on the podcast again, but he's doing great things. He headlined the madhouse. He's headlining. But, you know, we work different schedules. I got to have him on the daytime. So it's been kind of rough with that. But what you're trying to tell me is that you don't want to, you know, with the gay community, there was, I saw some problems every once in a while. I saw problems on sets, which I never really discussed because I kept them to the sets. But at times, they thought that them being gay was bigger than what's going on.

You know, you guys know what movie I worked on that had tremendous masculinity. I don't have to other words. And when I worked on that set, there was a young gay dude that I fucking loved to death. He was one of the high ups there. you know, he was having a problem with this masculinity. He wasn't a flamboy and gay guy. Like, I knew him for like maybe six weeks before he told him he was gay. It was just him and I talking in my trailer about weed or whatever the fuck we're talking about.

I think when we went back to California, he had to work closer with all of us. You know, at first he was kind of working with me. maybe Lobo and fucking Nick and, you know, in fact, me and Nick still goof around about that guy. That guy used to wear pink. No. Oh, my God. So when it got out that he was gay,

you know, again, nobody busted his balls or anything. We all dug him to death. He was upset about the cop talk, the fucking in the ass talk, even though that's the whole thing of being gay is jumping up and down and fucking people in the ass and going to parties. He had a problem.

with the talk and I got it. He was outnumbered on the set. Do you know what this guy did? Like week 11, he found another job. We stayed in touch for maybe a year. He ended up going to the premiere. It was a bunch of love. Nobody really knew

this. He came to me and I think Nick and was just talking. He goes, I just don't want to be around here no more. What are those shoes that people wear now with the holes in them, their rubber, gators or whatever the fuck people wear? Crocs. Crocks. Dog.

They gave him a pair of Pink Crocs. One of the linebackers, the bad motherfucker from the Raiders at the time. His name sluiced my mind, but they gave him pink rocks, and he fucking wore him. And I loved the guy. And guess what? Everybody on the set loved him. It wasn't even, there was no gay hate, nothing like that. The extreme, you know, suck my cock and fuck you and fucking hitting each other with eggs.

He wasn't from that. And I didn't, that dog, I'm not from a lot of cuts. So I understood he quit and I never had nothing against him. He quit on his own. He didn't complain to anybody. He didn't go to the producers and try to get anybody fired. He had a job to do. He knew he was outnumbered.

He knew he was outnumbered. So I don't understand how anybody right now, like in the trans community, again, my deepest apologies, but you can't go against what's bigger than you right. now and I get it you're doing great things you're very proud of what you're doing and I'm proud of you for you listen sometimes I sit there I go you know how proud I am a guy that come out like you know in California how many guys I knew dog I could count on my hands that were fucking gay and living in a fucking secret that's gotta suck dick I know it was suck dick when I was doing coke and I didn't want nobody to know

imagine taking in the ass and going to parties and having come on your feet and shit I was talking to a gay friend of mine from LA and he did tell me I think I think I tell you this, that he has a guy that just comes over, rubs his feet, and when he finishes, he wax off on him. That's hysterical. I would love to come on somebody's feet. Now, another man's nine and a half size fucking disgusting foot with hair on the toes, you know what I'm saying?

But I love to come on a nice little your wife's feet or something. You know, anyway, that's a long time. I don't want to come on nobody's feet no more. I don't even think comes out of my dick anymore. I think it's just like one little drop or whatever the fuck it is. I don't even know. I don't even check.

What do I care? I'm on to bigger and better things. But the whole thing here just bothers me sometimes how you think that you're bigger than what's going on. Neil Young, I love you. It's not your fault, you know? We're just getting old and fucking the people at Spotify, how bad do you feel if you stayed at Spotify

and you're there now? You came to a real thing? that they don't really fucking care about you. Like they don't care. You got to assume that they don't fucking care. Because when you think that they do care, that's when your feelings are going to get hurt. And that's when you're going to feel like the system's breaking down.

But it's not. The system's not breaking down. There's nobody against you. The problem is that fucking, you're not bigger than the fucking problem at hand. If you don't like what's going on around you, Neil Young, pull your fucking music off. I can live with that.

I put you on Facebook yesterday, Ohio. I love that fucking jam. And I did that for a reason. To prove to you, I'm a big fan, but you're too old. Who gives the fuck where your music is? Just take it off Spotify. It's already on your website, re-released, redone.

What the fuck do you want? You know what I'm saying? Give me a breather. The guys at Spotify, look what happened. They had a parade for you, for you guys, him and hers. You know, and not a parade. They had a press conference, and, you know, you had CNN there and the media.

It worked. It tried. But you know what? Again, my heart goes out to you, but you're not bigger than what's going on. Don't ever think that. Just be you. Be happy. Go trans.

Go. Fucking do your thing. Don't worry about what people think about you. It's the same thing. When I got into comedy, I was a felon. I would tell people to be a comedian. yeah, it hurt my feelings for a while until I fucking committed to it

and then like, fuck you. You didn't have my back, so now I'm moving the fuck on. And for the employees at Spotify now with Rogan or whatever, didn't you know? Money beats everything. Money is the root of all fucking evil. And as much as it hurts, it hurts, you know. I know there's times when I was with an agent

and I didn't like things that were going on with another client. Was it jealousy? No, I didn't like them, but guess what? It's got nothing to do with me. All I need to do is get up in the morning, take my vitamins, bang one out, do some push-ups, and go out there and be the best that I could fucking be.

And that's it, and that's that. It's a beautiful motherfucking day to be alive this Wednesday to 26th. I'm excited. The month is over next Monday. That'll be a last podcast for the month. I got some surprises for February. I'm having a birthday in February. I'm doing a couple things in February.

Ari Shafia is doing a storytelling show at the Gramercy Theater February 8th Get your tickets It's all fucking You know, no lineup That's the way I like Ari does it Will I be there? I'm not sure, I don't know

I don't have a story The only way I know is if I get up that morning That night at 6 o'clock And I'm like, I feel like going to the Gramacy Theater So I'm not making any promises I'm just shedding some light on the show I'm excited for all right on the show I'm excited for Ari because he's going to start this over again under a new name.

And that fucking, that story show did more for me than my fucking Netflix special. It did more for me than the other special. Those things on Comedy Central fucking leveled me, man. So I'm forever grateful to Ari. If I do grace the stage again, it'll probably be out one of those stories. telling things, but I'm not sure about the 8th. He's going to have it every fucking month. But go to Gramacy, whatever the theater is,

infogramacy.com, whatever the fuck it is. Google it and see what the rules are. I know you're going to need a fucking vaccine card and a mask. So, you know, do what you need to do. I understand if you can't go. But hey, if you could support Ari Shafia, that would be fucking trimming. Beissimo also.

you guys could tell, I found the winning combination. I had too much of a stick up my ass when I moved back here. You know, I was telling, I think my wife, when I was eating breakfast this morning, I go, you know, I was on the treadmill. And I was just, that's why I like about the treadmill. I'm back to walking, I'm back to thinking, you know. And I'm thinking about good things. It's not, you know, how do I get out of this gig in fucking Ohio?

It's about all good things. I was thinking about where I really honestly was, at this time last year, and I wish I could take you guys there. It wasn't fucking pretty. I found one of the old... That's why I was looking at the YouTube last week. That's how I knew they were putting 18 and under on them

because I was going back to last January to see my eyes and shit. Guys, I was not in a good fucking place at all after that surgery between the fucking pain pills, the fucking withdrawing from the Xanax, my anxiety. couldn't even fucking think. I couldn't even

you know focus on anything. I couldn't even have lunch with friends or anything. I couldn't wait for my friends to fucking leave when they were around.

But I'm happy. I'm happy. I identify what was going on with me and I'm happy that it all worked out and we're here a year later

but I'm really happy that the people who stuck it out with me fucking stuck it out with my people on Patreon. I love you motherfuckers with all my

I think I'm doing Brenda Zerega's podcast this week. And I think I'm doing another one with Sickler in the next couple of weeks. I got to give them a call back. And that's my itinerary, guys. I'm happy you guys checked in to the joint on January 26, 2020. And I will see you, motherfuckers Monday. Tip, top, m'clock. Do not forget this podcast was brought to you by On It.

They produce all my motherfucking podcasts. I love On It. This week's special, all supplements. 20 fucking percent off. Use code Joey. I love you. Stay black. Have a great weekend.

And I'll see you motherfuckers nice and early. Tip Top Magoo Monday morning. Love you. All right. I want to thank you guys for listening to me. Fuck around about Neil Young today. I appreciate it. But the joint is brought to you by ZipRecruiter.

Like I said, it's going to be a big year for a lot of businesses, 2020. too. And like the pet business is growing. There's a lot of businesses that are growing. And now somebody needs to train. Fido, if you order a business in one of these industries, you probably need to hire somebody ASAP. You all do. There's only one place that got your answer. ZipRecruiter, baby. Right now you can try ZipRecruiter for free at ziprecruiter.com slash Joey. Again, you can easily review candidates and invite them your top choices to apply for your job. It's that easy. ZipRecruiter's technology is so effective that four out of five employees who post on ZipRecruiter can a candidate within the first day. You can't beat that.

Right now, time is money and money is time. Right now, you can try ZipRecruiter for free at this exclusive web app. ZipRecruiter.com slash Joey. Again, that's ziprecruiter.com slash joey. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. CBD Lion always coming through for for you from the motherfucking bat balls, which I need to jump in one of those. My shoulders killing me. The cream, I'll put some on that after I get out of there. The capsules, you eat one and you sleep like a baby.

Plus, you got the tinctia that's tremendous. You got the gummies that are tremendous. You got the kinesiology tape and draft kings. And CBD Lion, don't stop there. Go to CBD Lion. Read the third-party lab results. Leber, read about CBD, CBN, and CBI. And let's get this party started.

Pressing, Joey, joint, church, and get 20% off delivered right to your motherfucking house. CBD Lion, the king, the joint is also brought to you by, listen, draft kings. Let's make some money this weekend. Last week you fucked around with your friends and you ate onion dip and you jumped up and down. But did you make any money? All you did was wear your fucking hat and walk around all week. the game, it's time to fucking get down. Draft Kings is giving you

56 to 1 odds on any of the four teams this weekend. Just spend $5 and get $280 if your team wins. It's that easy. You're not a new customer. I don't know what to tell you. Draft Kings has your back. You can experience the same game

parlays, combine multiple bets from the same game for a bigger payout. Plus, they got some great little side bets who's going to score first, first field goal, blah, blah, blah. It all adds up to money and fun. Download the Draft King Sportsbook app today, the official, the official sports betting partner to the NFL. That's promo code Joey to get 56 to 1 odds.

Now, you got to be 21 older, New Jersey, New York, Indiana, PA, Colorado, West Virginia, new customers only. minimum $5 deposit and a dollar wager required Who's better than you? One per customer restrictions do apply. See draftkings dot com slash sportsbook

for details. Now if you got a gambling problem call 1-800 gambler take care of yourself but if not head over to draft kings download the app and let's win some motherfucking money. I want to thank draft kings, zip recruiter Liquid IV

CBD Lion and my people over there better help helping people are check them out if you're hearing voices of Chinese people singing to you it was a great week I love you guys thank you for welcoming us back and we'll be back next weekend

ready to rock Monday tip top magoo I love you cock suckers stay black and healthy