The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #140 - The Church Of What's Happening Now

Episode Date: January 8, 2014

Joey's childhood friend and TV exec Ray Kinella calls in. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Hulu Plus. Visit Huluplus.com/joey for an extended free trial. Nature Box. Visit Naturebox.com and use promo code Joey for 50% off your first order. Recorded live on 01/08/2014.

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Go to naturebox.com and use promo code Joey. That's naturebox.com promo code Joey. Are you kidding me or what? Oh shit. Oh shit. Wednesday, January 8th. The day the devil was buried at sea. Hit that motherfucker Lee.

What? Uh-oh. Oh shit. If you're thinking about getting your dicks up, Today is the day, cock suckers. What? Uh-oh. Listen to this shit.

Running with the fucking devil. You understand? We're running with two gods, but we got a little devil. Lysayat, he lives his life like there's no tomorrow. Everything he got, he got a fucking steal. You know what I'm saying? Listen to him. He's dropping it, Lysiah. Put your hands up in the air, buddy. Oh shit.

Oh shit. Wiggle little buckled Joe. Wednesday, Cocksucker. What's the story, Doug? There's no story Running with the devil Who has to think about getting their dick sucked I never have to think about it The answer is always yes

So when you wake up in the morning you're peeing And you're fucking all groggyed up and shit What are you thinking about? What's going through your head? The honest I got true, don't lie to them Why the fuck am I up? That's always I never want to wake up Because I never could sleep late

And I've always But I never wake up thinking about getting my dick suck I always, it's never, it never stops. I don't know who thinks, like, well, maybe today I'll get my dick suck. If it's ever an option, the answer is yes. So you're getting your dick suck there's always in the back of your mind.

Yeah. Even when you were eating McDonald's. Fuck yeah. When you were eating a quarter pound that would cheese sweating up. I went a while without having sex. So it was always, I was jacking off like twice a day. Fuck yeah.

Oh, Jesus Christ. You're a sad. Fuck yeah. When I was like 24, 22, I went out of a dry streak for a fucking year. Yeah. and you get close to being creepy like you fucking. But the whacking off balances you out sometimes. Sometimes you bang one out and it brings you back.

It saves a life. It does, but then there's the fucking, the online dating thing gets creepy and you meet weird people who do stuff to you and it's just, it's not good. You hear any more from your exes from online dating? What are you hearing from those? No, no.

Thank God. You didn't come over and lick your asshole for Christmas. No one's ever going to lick an asshole. That's a, oh. No, but no, it's a, The weirdest one was this girl who bit my nipple, and it, like, broke the skin, and that was the weirdest. Did you bleed? Fuck yeah.

And she thought it was cool, and she thought it was, and I would like it, but, no, that was the fucking worst. Can't even, can't even explain to you. Nothing. But did she fuck her? Before she bit your nipple? No, I, after, but she fucking, I ran into a string of girl, I don't know what it was, but something about being attracted girls who would not give head, like just, for years, none. I don't like it. I won't do it. I won't like it. I won't do it.

And finally, I found one that likes it. Did you ever propose a left hook? A left hook to the... It's the fucking ear. How the fuck are you not going to suck a dick? No wonder you're single, you're dummy. Yeah. So I got a bunch of string of those. That's pretty weird when a girl tells you she won't give head. Like, right the way you look at her, like, this fucking bitch has no longevity.

Because after a while, even after you love somebody, even after that, the act of licking, and your balls, it's just an act of love if you really think about it. Yeah, and then it's just... I mean, some people got to pay $22 still, but some people lick your nuts just, you know, because they love you. Yeah, who wouldn't?

But, I mean, when you're 18, you walk around with a boner just for having a boner, but, I mean, I don't know about you, but I'm not always walking around with just a boner just for, with a girl I've never met before, so, yeah. That testosterone had me fucking fucked uply. Oh, really?

Yeah, it really did have me a little fucking horned up. So why would you get off of it? I got... Why would I? Yeah. Because it's borderline fucking, I was looking at massage places. Oh, okay. I was talking about her.

And I even told DiAgostino about a week ago, I go, you know this? I got off the testosterone. We don't give a fuck about the hookers walking anymore. There's a black hooker in North Hollywood that is fucking beautiful. Do you understand me? She's beautiful. She walks in North Hollywood and in Studio City. She walks by Marie E.T. every fucking day.

Nobody catches it. She wears a wig. She's got a beautiful face. A fucking tremendous body. Me and my wife have driven up on her 20 times in Studio C thing. We just laugh. But the beautiful one, don't you think she must be so, like, really fucked up if she's that pretty and still is on the street? She is hot and young, and, you know, she just probably, hey, you don't know what the mentality is.

You don't know if they have a kid at home. You don't know what the mentality is. Some women, listen, man, I've repeated this a thousand times. When I was 20, I was living in Afghanistan, Colorado. And I used to see guys my age, maybe guys 10 years younger than me, come to town and they hook up with a young girl. And I remember one day thinking, you know, what's wrong with a woman if one day she goes, look.

When you're 22, very seldom are women lucky in love. They date knuckleheads, steroid guys. They beat them. They cheat on them. They're fucking whatever. What's the difference? You go out there, you fucking make yourself a high line hooker. if you you can make yourself to be whatever you want to be

do you understand me in any level of your life for example for a long time look at that we're both coughing but coffin and unison people were calling me for all these YouTube movies for a long time I was getting up and wearing my own clothes and doing these YouTube videos all these movies that people were going to sell

or whatever with me I wanted to work on my acting and I want to learn about it but one day said, I swear to God, like three years ago, I go, that's it. I ain't doing these no more. They're not getting me anywhere. So I made a mental note. So for years, people hit me up. And part of me, I wanted to do them, what I didn't want to do them. And I had to go right back, no, at this time, I'm busy. And I lied to a thousand people about it. I made up a job. But I just wanted to get away from that. And look, too big. I got another movie coming out, January 14th, Brave Bull, Raging Bull 2, whatever.

Oh, that's coming out now? Yeah, that's coming out next week. You know, it's a shit. I don't know if it's a good, I don't know. The budget was good, the director was good. My scenes were all with Paul Vario from Goodfellas. I know his Paul Real Name is. He's from Jersey, a big actor who played Paulie and Goodfellas.

But I made that mental note. I'm not doing these fucking load. Sag made this thing years ago called Low Budget Movies. You get fucked in the ass, bro. By the way, you know what my fucking Jiu-jitoo teacher told me? What? We're talking to that by editing. And I go, you know why? I think my partner is fucking editing assistant.

And he goes, let me tell you something. That's the worst job in the world. Is it really? It's... He says at his place now, they torture those guys. They torture us, and it's just... It's not an easy job, but there's a ton of us out here because that's the job you get right out of college. So people are taking the low-level paying jobs

that fuck people like... Like me over who've been doing it for a few years because the prices go down. So, and then there's the night jobs. It's not the worst job in the world. I mean, I'd much rather be doing that for a thousand a week than digging ditches. But it's not. And it takes about four or five years to start getting editing gig. So it's not easy.

So one day you're going to wake up in the morning and go, I'm not doing this no more. That's what I did. And you're going to get different calls. Now people are going to call you for editing jobs. Hopefully, man. You're going to get on the phone and go, I don't want to do that. No, I can't. I'm already committed.

You're going to make up lies. Because I'm the type of guy. I don't like kicking nothing to the side. If you call me and you go, I got a job for you for $200. I would never want to be homeless and go, I could have used those $200. Because I did that as a kid. I would fucking do blow and blow off jobs and then go, fuck, that guy was going to give me $400 fucking bucks to paint his house and I didn't show up.

So I was always one of those guys. And I would go, fuck, you know, I could have used that $200 right now. So. But don't you think with the hook? I mean, maybe when it was back then in Colorado was different, but now with like social media, I don't think you could ever escape it. I don't think, like your friend who is in Florida now,

who's still a stripper. She kind of, she did it in a town over, no one will ever find her. But if she started now, she'd be on Facebook or something. No, she's on Facebook, but not as a stripper. She's on Facebook as a fucking mommy. But do you think that's still, I don't, I think that's... She knows how to control it.

I think that's the exception. I think the rule now would be eventually in 20 years your kids would somehow find out a video would be on YouTube. Nah, there's ways to hook that. Listen, man, there's ways to hook. If you stand on the corner and you pull over for fucking Puerto Ricans and Cubans and Arabs and black guys, I'm serious. I'm not putting nobody down, but if you pull over and you're getting your fucking asshole eating out by fucking, you know, disgusting guys, you know, that's your street value. But if one day you wake up, okay, and you put a fucking ad out there, you go help, like, eventually you got to meet somebody. So you meet some woman who has a BMW, and she tells everybody she's a fucking business woman.

And this woman probably entertains fucking just Arabs that fly in for a thousand a night. She sucks their dick. She takes up the fucking ass. It's a night from hell, but it's a thousand fucking bucks. You do that three nights a week. That's three, that's 12,000. You know what? You could tell the government, you're fucking ass.

fucking sewing shirts. Yeah. I mean, do you think there's any hookers who are... How many fucking women

fucking work their asses off? Single moms, they fucking make us look like fucking faggotsly. Do you understand me? I tell my wife all the time,

I tell a lot of people, you go by victory and violent, by that target, and you wait 15 minutes. You'll see a Mexican woman walk by with a kid in a stroller

and pushing one with groceries by herself, and her fucking man's working two jobs. You understand me? And at any time, he might not come home because he's got a no fucking green card.

Yeah. So when those motherfuckers leave to work every day, they might not come home. Now a woman, really, what do you think a woman's going to do? Two kids in a foreign fucking country. It's going to have to suck a dick somewhere or, and I shouldn't say something like this, or fucking lift to do something. What are you going to lift to do in this country and this economy at this time of your fucking life?

What are you going to do as a woman that doesn't speak English? Yeah. You got a nice body. You got a cute face. What the fuck? you're going to do? Do you think anyone can do that without causing like permanent? That's why I don't go to

strip club because I think there must be fucking, I can't even imagine the little storm out of their head. Permanent. Listen, everything you do in your life somewhere along the lines and I come back to fucking bite you in the ass. Yeah. Look at this thing you told me the other day about Tito Ortiz. I didn't know. Was it you that told me?

I didn't fucking know about that. Did you see his ex-wife on YouTube two months ago? She was all over Facebook. Fucked up. Your dog. And if you hang out with people who have a lot of luggage, I used to hang out with a girl who had a ton of fucking luggage. And I love this woman. But it felt like her poison was killing my poison.

Her energy was sucking my energy up. So instead of thinking about comedy 100% of the day, I was thinking about comedy 30% of the day because I was thinking about her. And I couldn't focus. And all her bad luck was falling on me. You know, this chick was like an amateur fucking scam artist. And I accepted it.

It was funny. I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday, and he called me for advice. And I've known this guy for 30 fucking years, but he's the whitest dude in America. That's why I love him. And he's a 40-year-old guy, and he's living with the house, bro. He's lonely. He's not married. His friends have kids, so he's on online dating, you know, and every 90 days he calls him the story. Now, he fucks all these brids.

They suck his dick. They're crazy on online dating. They're fucking crazy. But this one really got to him because he was with it for 90 days. Everything was going great. They were talking about Valentine's Day and she sat him down. Oh, no. And told him that she cooked meth at one time and that she stripped and that she was into threesome.

That she fucked the monkey, you know, just dropped it out of him. Oh, no. And it broke him emotionally late. It would break me. It just broke him. Like it just swept him. And he said, listen, it's better. I can't deal with him.

with this. Every time I see it in the story started adding up. The mother did suicide. The sister killed it. It was just one after the other. And he goes that he was fucking living like in the twilight zone. I hadn't heard from him over the holidays. I hadn't heard from him. Yesterday morning I go, what the fuck happened? How do you talk to somebody

every other day for an hour? And for 20 days, he hasn't called. And I think I called him Christmas Day to wish him a Merry Christmas. And he fucking broke that. And he goes, it was it was just shocking. he goes, the drugs was one thing, but making...

I almost crashed the car. He was serious, but the making of the meth was just too much. Yeah. Would that have scared you away? I was talking to Paula the other day, and I said, if a girl came to me and said she had herpes, because we're talking about people with STDs, and in this day and age a lot of people have herpes or whatever they have,

I don't think I Even if a girl came up to me And we started dating She said oh I have herpes You still want to date I don't think I could do it I don't know Now you're married

But when you were 20 If a girl came to you and said After you'd been dating I have herpes Would you still have done it? I would have punched the shit out of them Herpes You fucking carry that shit

The rest of your life I know People on your lip Once a fucking month You gotta wear a fucking mask Like it's Halloween But they're saying like One and four people have it now

Or even more than that So it's fucking, fucking scary. You have no idea what's out there. Yeah. You know, for, let me tell you something. I've been with women that I've known were promiscuous and their fucking pussies are delicious. Their pussies are delicious.

Because the woman that's permicuous likes to fuck. So that means she takes care of that fucking little dragon eat it. You hope so. Do you understand me? The dirtiest women, I've said this before. The hardest time I had with dirty women was between 90 and 93 around there, 94. I was dating a couple of college girls. Filthy.

Filthy the shit I got from them. You mean just like dirty? They weren't dirty. The pussies were good. Their assholes smelled good. They were clean. No under arm. It was that they went to college.

Like the one girl, I didn't figure out. Like she was like, I fucked two guys, but I suck like 18 cocks. And she goes, in college, I didn't fuck. I just mashed. I still remember the saying mashed. I didn't you make out with somebody. Okay. And I gave blow jobs.

And that fucked me up a little bit. I'm making out with Saibata fucking Kappa here, you know. You ever see Clerks? Not really your movie, but there's a line in the... No, it's a great movie, clerks. I haven't seen it in 20 fucking years. It's just... I don't know whether it's like...

My girlfriend sucked 30 dicks in a row? And it just, like, there's a whole fight because she sucked 30 dicks. Oh, no, no. And it's amazing that these girls even counted the dicks in college. Oh, yeah, I lost... And I dated her. Yeah. And then I dated her ex-rooming.

And she was really filthy. and I got something. I got a social disease, but I never went to the doctor. Like, I was so embarrassed that I got, I never went to the doctor, and I don't know what happened to it. I think the drain-o probably killed it.

My dick stopped leaking, you know what I'm saying? Like, I didn't even... It was just a weird time, but I learned a lot that college girls are dirty. I don't know fucking why. I don't know what it was that I got diseases. It's the first time you get away from your parents, I think. I never really went crazy in college.

It just, I don't know why, but a lot of people do experiment a lot in college. I don't remember. I experimented a lot in high school. So who needs to experiment in college if you experiment in fucking high school? You know what I'm saying? What? What, Lee, do you know what today is?

What's today? It's Mercy's birthday. Oh, of course. Can you fucking believe that? No, it's been a crazy, it's been a crazy almost two years now because when you first told me she was pregnant. But that's... It's that little girl's fucking birthday today. And I am deeply blown away.

That's one part of my life that's just blown away. Like, every time I can't grasp it. What are you guys doing? We're going to the Long Beach Aquarium. We're going to go down there and eat. I'm going to come right back. Getting her a cake and stuff? I'm going to get a Carvel cake.

But we have no kids. We don't know no fucking kids. So we're going to blow out a candle and put her in bed at 6 and we're going to celebrate. I've got to be on a plane at 4, you know. Yeah, I think at 2 you can start having birthday parties. I went to a one-year-old party last year and the kid fell asleep. It's for the parents. Yeah, we stuck around and just talked to the parents.

The kids fell asleep. Yeah. The kid was dressed up like a fucking toy story. Oh, okay. And he fucking passed out. Can you imagine that being dressed up like toy story and you pass out? Oh. You're a fucking fag.

Wake up, Cog sucker! It was one of the things we talked about with my mom. Like, because we always did birthday parties at my house because at a nice yard. And just like going through the memory with all the birthday parties I had was pretty crazy. But, yeah, I don't think there's any point in doing anything before two. That's crazy. That's just one year old. Two, maybe three, four, you know, and you get the fucking.

Pearl Jam to show up for the fifth birthday. Shit, forget about it. Like a motherfucker. It's been a fucking last night. I got home and I took a shower. Last night I went to Jiu-Jitsu guys. And we talked about goals yesterday. I have this notebook.

And every week I have four goals. Two kettlebell classes and two Jiu-Jitsu's, you know. And Lee, I got to tell you something. Every time I go to fucking Jiu-Jitsu, I hug the cats. I mean, I'm dead serious. It ain't easy. You're still scared? No, no. I've been getting better and better. So I wanted to go one time this week.

Even if I went and did the, even I thought about the YMCA last night, and I have the world available to me. I got John Salami, who's a black belt, and I had 10 Planet Van Nuys to have a back room. So even if there's a class going on, you go to the back room and kill yourself. It's small, you know. And I just wanted to work on my cardio, so I said, fuck it. I went down there. And it was amazing. I judged when I first used to meet with John Salami, if I'd just grab his ghee and we'd roll like just, not even roll, like just push and pull for a minute,

I'd have to stop, get up, open the door, and take my ghee top off. And pee. And take my dick out, open your ghee, which is disgusting. Were you having a panic attack? I would have panic attacks and I couldn't breathe. Last night, though, the first thing, we rolled like four minutes and I tapped. and then we looked at each other he told me what I did wrong, what I did right

and then we did it again for like four and a half minutes then we just drilled for like 15 minutes and then we rolled again for another three by that time I was dead but on the drive home even if he tapped me four times I didn't expect to do him I don't give a fuck you know it was the little things I did

I felt so accomplished on the way home you know because Guy Lee whatever your fucking name is Guy Lee I was fucking petrified the first couple times I went And embarrassed. You know, you're embarrassed. You're embarrassed around 20-year-olds,

your 400 fucking pounds. And you're trying to do hip escapes, and you look like a fucking whale. You're like a whale that's beached, and now he's trying to go to Santa Barbara and buy a suit or some shit. You know what I'm saying? That's what you look like

when you do a fucking hip escape. And consciously, I knew this, but I knew the more I went down there and did it, Lee, I fucking, and now it's like second nature. And I'm pissed because I can't go again. Some kids are supposed to train me in Buffalo. Oh, that.

You've been doing it for like six months, haven't you? Close to it? Yeah, but the third and fourth month, I was going once a week and I was just taking, like I was pushing it away, like I was pushing away to sparring because I was scared of the cardio. But I realized last night that getting into this kettlebell class really helped me because that scares the fuck out of me. He puts you in the back of the gym, and the door is 50 feet away.

So just that gives me anxiety, Lee. Let me tell you some, just that gives me anxiety now. But the bathroom's far away. Like, I'm sweating where they're going to. to put me on this fucking plane. Did I tell her I wanted the aisle seat? Because lately by mistake, they've been put me in the fucking window seat,

that's anxiety for me. Really? Because I got to bother somebody to go fucking pee. I don't like bothering nobody. Just switch with me. I'm going to get up 80 times. I don't even want this on my thought. Oh, I'd never get up.

That's why I stopped with the fucking edibles. That's why I gave them a break the last three weeks. Because, and I'll tell you what, I feel a lot better. I feel a lot clear-minded. You know, I love medical marijuana. I love smoking pot. But I was eating 15 fucking edibles a day And it was becoming to be toxic

Like I was just high all the time And I took three days off And I'm like, whoa This feels a lot fucking better There's been a cloud in my head For the last six fucking months There's definitely a hangover It's not as bad as alcohol

But especially because I would only do it once And the next day And the hunger is amazing Oh well yeah The fuck when you eat an edible The hunger is off the charts Like you can't go to bed unless you eat a fucking And a half a sandwich

ain't going to cut it. You fucking go for everything. You're like, I'm going to fucking eat everything. Yeah. So I gave that a breather for a couple weeks. I got some cheebo chews right down the table, but even when I was flying, I was getting too much.

I'll bring a cheebo chew just in case I get stuck in an airport because you might as well have a fucking cheebo chew in you if you get stuck in an airport. But it's just amazing the things I wanted to give a break to Josh, the UFC referee before he went to prison for 18 months. He got cleaned up. When I asked him, I go, how does it feel to be off the reef? And he goes, you know what?

It made a tremendous difference in my jiu-jitsu breathing. Right now I'm okay. I still got a tap from time to time because of my breathing. But Lee, every time I go, there's a kid that every time I go, his name is Zach. Okay. He's a 23-year-old kid. Every time I go to jitza, he goes, where's the flying juet? What are you going to bring?

No, no, I have to start trying to know. I have to do something. I didn't want to do, I don't want to be one of the assholes who signs up for Jim January 1st. Yeah, no, no, no. But I definitely have to do something. I don't know if jiu-jitsu is it or what, but I'm excited about it. I'll tell you why I like this jiu-jitsu. I'm going to be honest with you, Lee.

It's becoming my social life. Yeah. It's becoming my social life. You know, ever since I stopped doing drugs, I don't have a social life. A lot of people send me emails, and that's one of the biggest things. You know, what do you do now? What the fuck do you do now, you know? And, you know, I have friends that are fucking,

whatever in the entertainment business and after a while you get sick of hanging out with them because that's all you talk about you just want to talk to people about normal shit their kids their cats you know and i go to this jiu jitza when at first i was very embarrassed but i'll tell you what makes me go back more than the health issue is the issue that i just talk to normal people nobody laughs at me nobody fucking judges me they respect you for being there it's the weirdest fucking thing. You go to Jitza class, you go on that math, even if you do one push-up, do one lap, and

learn the technique, they respect you for being there. It's like, hey, man, you're one of us now. And I'm a 50-year-old man, and I don't really feel self-conscious in there, and I'm overweight, and I'm out of shape, and I never wrestled. I don't feel self-conscious in there at all no more. I feel like I'm

part of something, and I can't say how special that makes me feel at 50. I'm not stabbing people. I'm part of something that in fact, they're goofy. Jiu-jitsu guys now and not these big fucking armed guys Yeah It's IT guys

They're all editors I tell you My school's all editors One guy does Uh The Extra extra He does that

Oh okay Yeah No all these guys Editors There's three editors There's three editors Over there where I work That's crazy

No it's uh I kind of do miss I was never Trust me I never thought I'd be anywhere I never thought I'd even play In high school But I was always

My mom always had me A part of some sort of sports team and I kind of do miss that I was always the worst on the team When I'm with you, what do we talk about? We talk about podcasts. Yeah.

Talk about podcasts and business. And when you talk about Diagostino, yeah, you talk about funny, but it's basically podcasting or tomorrow's or next week or what do we want to do for the future. It's nice to get out of there once in a while. And your girlfriend is great,

but after a while you need out of that too. There's three things you need, you know? So you go down there And for me, it was like the comedy store and stuff, but that even got old because you're going someplace and you're talking to people about, hey, did you do that room yet in Mississippi? Nobody really, it takes a while to break that wall down and to really get to know people and to go out and not talk about it. It's going to come up in conversation. That's one of the hardest things about moving anywhere after college is learning how to make friends. Because even the people you're going to be friends with are people you work with.

but you always like you said you always talk about oh the the shitty boss or can you believe this new guy what he did so like how do you i don't even know you can't get out of friends you can't get out of it you can't yeah you know when i first uh in 2007 when i quit blow i knew i had to fill the void so i joined a kung fu school boy was i ever embarrassed i walked in there at 400 fucking pounds and i had a little bit of cardio from hitting the midst with just in fortune but no i had nothing. And that was the first place where it was a good school. I learned a lot, but I did not, I did not make friends. I went there, I talked to people, I giggled with people, but once I walked out the door, that's where it ended. Were you embarrassed or? No, no, no, I wasn't embarrassed

at all. Because you make, you make friends wherever you go. I made friends in the class. But when I left there, that's where it ended. Nobody. exchanged phone calls. Nobody really did much. I was friends with the instructor who I haven't spoken to in about six months and I had a dream about him yesterday.

The black guy had him on Duncan's podcast. Earl White and it's weird how nothing came of that. When I went to the kickboxing place it was closer to my house and I noticed they always had cookouts and shit like that

but they're Thai and they have Thai food and I fucking hate Thai food so I wouldn't go to the fucking cookouts because every time I go to have like a chicken dead. hanging up or some shit or some sub bag dough juice or whatever the fuck they drink but there were nice kids there and I became friends with a couple of younger girls and a couple of younger guys and but again I didn't do nothing socially with them when I

joined this jiu jitza school that weekend I did in Pasadena 60 of them yeah fucking came out from jiu jihitsu and and and Eddie school and the other school and it's weird that we had this little thing going on you know and it just impressed me like all these young kids last week when I went New Year's Eve there was a class and half the people were like we were thinking of coming to your show and I told him no it's too much drama

for tonight I'm at the improv in two weeks I'm in Melrose yeah I don't want you guys to be mixed up into that it was fucking crazy up there Lee Lee me and Steve Simone went up there we got out of the car at 8 o'clock 10 to 8 was packed

oh yeah no no no packed not the clock Universal City War. And it wasn't even getting started. You could see the fucking people walking up the hill in drovesly. Drogues. Drogues.

You couldn't believe how many people were going to... And it wasn't a bad deal. I've never seen it like that. Not in 15 years since... They had a big football game in Pasadena about 15 years ago. I went up there in the daytime to give away free comedy tickets

from the comedy store. And it was bumper to bumper. People are walking like this at that fucking mall. That's the way it was, New Year's Eve. That's crazy. And we got out of there at 20 to fucking 10.30. He had to do a spot of 11 at the comedy store. We got on that fucking 101 North.

We went back to my house. I dropped him off and I went upstairs. He gave me cookies and chicken colors. And I went upstairs instead of... I ate a Kualud for New Year's Eve. One of the ones I had in the draw by myself. Those things are fucking duds. Oh, that's too.

Have you seen The Wolf of Wall Street yet? No. How was it? Did you see it? Yeah, it's pretty... Tell me the truth. Tell me the truth. It was good.

Too long. It's too long. It's about... See, I don't mind long movies. Jonas stole the movie again? Yeah, I like Leo. Leo's a great actor. The two of them, steal it.

We call them Leo. Yeah, we know. My buddy Leo. I like him. I like Leo. I don't mind long movies. I get involved in the movie. I can see where they would have cut it,

but especially the first 90 minutes is nonstop. It's not one of the long ones where you think about it being long. I enjoy. And they're eating ass and doing quailudes and snorticoat. They do so many quailudes. And I had to Google it. I didn't really, you've talked about quailudes, but I never really knew what they did.

And just seeing how many they took. And I can't imagine what that must have been like being in the Wall Street. The 80s was vulgar. That's why people were running out of that movie. The 80s was a timepiece, was just fucking vulgar. And I sit back now and I think of the people that I grew up with and what I did in the 80s and what went on around me. and how fast it changed. For example, when I left New York in 85,

you could go into any of those clubs, the rooftop, all those fucking clubs, area, and you could fucking empty a bag of dope on your fucking table. Jesus. And waitresses would walk by, nobody would say shit to you. Yeah. It was crazy, and people were...

I remember being, like, in studio on a Thursday night with my buddy Mike Ascleese and snort and coke in the woman's bathroom and seeing people sucking a cock right in the bathroom, like a woman giving head in the fucking bathroom. Jesus. That's how vulgar the 80s are. Well, when you see it, you're going to, I just imagine your life going down two roads.

If you had maybe been in school for like a little bit longer and ended up on Wall Street, you would have made $18 million, but you would have been dead 20 years ago. I'll explain you something to you. I almost did that on Wall Street. That was the plan. Just seeing how, I mean. That was the plan. All my friends went and happened and went to jail.

Yeah, because this is based on a book that the guy wrote, and now it's a movie, so I'm sure it's a little bit exaggerated, but if it's half of what it says it was, you could have made a billion dollars in Wall Street. I was in Colorado. It was 1987, and I was 25 years old, 24 years old, right?

Yeah. And I had a bunch of friends that had gone down to Florida right after high school, and they were working for some guy. The guy had yachts and houses and boats and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And they all went down there. And like six of them came back, like, fucking mummified. Like, yeah, it was great.

We made some money. You know, they were like fucking mummified. You know, and I don't forget, there was two or three guys that I remember what their names were. And they were two or three years older than I was. Okay. But they were recruiting people down there.

And one of the guys they recruited was a McNeil. One of the kids I grew up with, I would grow up with his brother. They were Irish. They had 19 fucking brothers. He was the one two years younger than me. That guy, by the time, because he just kept recruiting North Bergen kids.

He was telling him go get a degree or whatever, and he was giving them a million dollars. This is no shit. Yeah. Like three of them ended up going to jail for stock fraud. Like 10 of them ended up losing their licenses and getting probation. And I remember that we had a friend that had a seat

in the stock exchange or something like that. Something crazy. We had like a friend and all that. I'm telling you. But they kept calling me in Colorado going, when are you going to come? The guy will take you shopping. Right off the bat. You get suits. He gives you a car. You come down here, you work in the sun.

It was a party, but they all went to jail. Trust me, it was very close. What did I, I, I minored in economics. But I majored in history. Once I couldn't become a lawyer, that was why I was trying to do. But it blew my whole cover because with a felony, you can't get a fucking stock license. Oh, okay. Because the way that made it seem is that all it is is glorified sales.

And know who steals the beginning of the movie is Matthew McConaughey. He does a fucking really great job. Listen, being an agent, being a lawyer, all that shit is glorified sales. That's the bottom line. People have to get that out of their fucking minds that they're an account executive. If you're a fucking salesman, and they pad themselves at that. That's why I mean you're a salesman, you're a fucking animal. You have to be a fucking animal.

That's what they talked about in the movie, right? You got to be a fucking animal. Like those people that you go work for, Lee, how are you doing? You call people and you tell them good morning. No, you're not going to say nothing. People want to be fucked up in the head a little bit. They want to be pushed. They want to be pushed in the mornings.

Whenever, they want to be a little fucking boom so you could sell it. That's how you fucking activate their juices. If I call and go, hi, Lisa, I'm selling subscriptions to the LA Times. Are you interested? You're going to go, no. You're going to give me a minute to sell you. I'm going to go, okay, thank you. Boom.

I didn't sell you. A salesman, a quarry, and go, hey, get you involved. What are you reading now? I read Newsweek. Well, listen, for 1695 a year, it's usually, and then they start talking money. When I sold sports on the phone, they came from a stockbroker fucking background. Okay. So the pitch was to knock you off your chair, and then they attack.

And they keep attacking. And every fucking thing you say, they go back to the attack. Bam, back to the attack. They don't know nothing. They don't know whatever you. Well, what's the mileage on the car? It's looking at $2.89 a month. Give me $1,000.

Well, what's the wheels per cent of me? Listen, give me $1,000. I'd make it $252 a month. And you just keep talking money until they fucking bite. That's what those guys, that's the school of those guys. To keep that energy up and to keep that man on them up, you got to pump, Jack. Yeah, so there's, if you go see this movie, you might have, you might have, like, one of your moments where you start thinking about, like, the days, don't have a cheap of two. I do not have to go see that movie.

I read the reactions of people. Yeah. And I spoke to people who called me back. I have a dear friend that's crazy from Brooklyn, and he called me insulted. He says it was borderline pornography. Oh, yeah. He goes, they were fucking inside. Welcome to the 80s.

Why do you think I talk the way I do? Because I talk the way I do? No. Because in the 80s, in the 80s, that shit that you talk to women about now wouldn't fucking work. Women wanted it more direct. Women wanted it more direct. Women didn't want to be finger-fucked or, let's do this. No, you got Coke? Yeah.

Here's the deal. We're going to go back, we're going to the hotel at the fucking Crown Royal. I'm going to stick fucking Coke rocks up your pussy and suck your ass. You in? Sure. And it was amazing. It was amazing. Girls would go back and they get naked before you even put a line of coke out.

Within the first 20 minutes, I think he does a line of coke out of a black cocker's asshole. It's fucking. Did you get emotional? Did I get, no, no. I really enjoy it. I like Scorsesey, so it's cool to see. But just thinking about you watching it, you, I don't know if you might have to leave the movie theater. Like, I just imagine you in that life.

No, it's, it's, it's, I want people to. and understand where society has gone. The 80s were so vulgar that politically correct started. All this political correct shit. Here we go. Speaking of politically incorrect, what's happening, my brother? Coco, what's happening? On the line with my fucking brother from 50 years ago,

Ray Canella Boom Boom in the middle. What's happening, brother? Not much, not much. Say hello to Flying Jew. He's in here, too. At first I thought I was calling Pizza Hut. I was going to, like, get a box. dinner box and, you know, a few wings and stuff like that.

How do you eat your wings, right, Canella? How do you eat your wings? A pizza hut number. What the hell is this? No, how do you eat your wings? With blue cheese or with fucking ranch? Oh, God. No, no.

Actually, no, I don't do the blue cheese or the celery with my wings. If the public is dying to know, the answer is no, I do not do the blue cheese. I'm sorry. You're fucking slipping. I enjoy wings and other various. You're probably eating hummus and shit, too, aren't you? You fucking You're from North Bergen

I'm supposed to eat hummus I have to keep my girlish figure You know that I fucking hear you Ray how long we've been friends Break it down Oh Lordy

Lordy Lordy Lordy 45 years Oh my God 40 years Forty five years Sixth grade Mr. Lovito We go all the way back

To North Bergen And McKinley's school And Charles Caw and hanging out in the projects, hanging out in the streets, hanging out in the woods, doing all sorts of things.

Hanging out in my basement. We were in a band. What was the name of our band in the sixth grade when we had Levitos? Oh, Lord. That I don't recall. We didn't have a fucking name. We just covered Beatles' help

and Jackson Five songs. That's right. Well, you were a tremendous Jackson Five. fan. But then again, you know, we all liked, you know, we all liked a lot of different stuff. My father was a musician. My father was a drama. And so it wasn't unusual for me to have all different types of music in the house. But I was, because of my older brother, I was a little bit of a rocker. But you had, you know, you had the whole, you know, the whole Latino thing going when I would come over to your house and the Sailor Cruz would be on and the salsa would be on

and there'd be good music going on. So we had that going on all around us. So while I was a bit of a rocker and I was into the Beatles, you were definitely into Jackson 5. You were definitely into things with more of a beat, with more of a rhythm to it. You guys got me into, well, I'll tell you, spending our summers on 38th Street Park,

your brother and all those older guys would open up their cars. And the two albums I remember, like the back of my hand, a Peter Frampton comes alive. and Led Zeppelin, the song remains the same. And then the Who Were You? I mean, I remember when the Who came to town in 77, like your brother and all his friends would just play Who Were You, that whole album. And we were exposed to great music, and we were raised when it was,

you know, Lee and I were speaking about this the other day. We were raised when it was $10 to go see Yes on a Tuesday night. Oh, yeah. And we would all go over there and shit. I used to go to the Dr. Pepper shows done on the pier in Manhattan, Pier 48 for $7, and go see Carlos Santana and Jefferson Starship and David Gilmore and, oh, my goodness me, all the great shows. But the other thing that I remember about you and I, when it came to records,

was that we also had comedy albums. You would bring over the Richard Pryor, and I had the best of Bill Conrad. You know, Russell, my brother, and Noah and the Ark, you know, all those great comedy routines on the Bill Cosby albums. You brought over to Richard Pryor, and my mother caught you and I listening to Richard Pryor at a point where he was talking about, I think, oh God, I'm trying to remember. He was either saying if you wanted to learn how to lick pussy, you had to lick stamps, or, It was something like that. It was like licking stamps. It was like licking pussy.

And my mother walks in the door while you and I are listening to this. And she's like, turn that off. What are you listening to? I think I wasn't allowed in your house for a while either. I don't think I was. I don't know. I think the record wasn't allowed in my house for a while. My mom was pretty cool.

Mom led all the kids in the house. You know, you know, who hung out at my place. What I remember specifically? from your house. Mom was very cool like that, but we were young. So to listening to a record like that, took my mom by surprise a little bit, I think. I remember being at your house, and I couldn't wait to go because you would always offer me grape-culeid with salsa water in it.

And it was the greatest thing in the fucking world. To use club soda instead of water and grape-culeid. You know these water drinks they're inventing now with the flavored water? Yes. Ray Connell invented that shit. 45 fucking years ago. Remember we were part of the Ecology Club and shit. You know, I try to explain my grammar school, our grammar school,

because it was a different time. Cuban kids had come, and they didn't know English. So McKinley School, the whole North Bergen system would hold them back that they'd be 16. And then they put them in the pilot program, and they'd become a sophomore in high school. Do you remember, like, we had so many, I remember this is Louis Al-Divar, smack in Leo Gatoni one time. Oh, I remember that. remember when Mr. Tatora hit me

and Anthony Bousano and Carmine came and beat up Mr. Tatar. You were in school with us and they used to call me Goco Cato Coyne Moco. With Martin Perez, do you remember that shit? Oh, hell yeah. I remember. Well, Northbrook in high school was crazy. I mean, we you'd go

into the bathroom and everybody's smoking in the bathroom. Remember Mr. Lee? Remember the gym teacher, Mr. Lee? Yes, I remember Mr. Lee. And you'd go, he'd come into the bathroom and everybody would be smoking either cigarettes or weed or whatever. In the moment Mr. Lee walked into the bathroom, you hear all the cigarettes going out in the toilets.

And he would yell if you ain't shit and piss and get out. And we would all file out of the bathroom. You know, billows of smoke coming out of the boys' room. You know, today, Jesus Christ, if that happened today, we all would have been arrested, thrown into rehab, pitches on the front page in the newspaper, you know, the whole thing. but it was a different time, wasn't it? You know, it's crazy.

I always go home and I always drive by the neighborhood. And I know that for us, that neighborhood is a blessing. And at the same time, it brings me a lot of pain in that neighborhood. Every time I go through, I think of the friends we lost. And I think how many times, you know that? Remember that phone, the police phone at the bottom of your hill in the box? How many times we ripped that out and ran? Like by Leonetti Fuel right there?

you know I still talk to Vita special and I still I know Michael's online he won't talk to me Michael special online because now no he won't talk to me he even told Vita he didn't fucking remember me but he told Vita like a smoke screen and I still remember him walking up the corner and me going Mike what's up and him going fuck you guys my brother died and uh it was all your fucking faults and shit and me trying to hug him and he wouldn't talk to me and that's the last time I basically saw Mike, you know, and Oh, my. How old ago was that?

That was the day Dominic died that fucking morning when it was a one day, you know. And these are times that... That's a terrible day. You know I was there. No, we were all there. I mean, I wasn't there. But I think about Anthony now. I think about the pain.

Unfortunately, I was. And it haunts me to this day, you know, what happened that day. I'll never forget it. You know, it, it, it, it, um, that incident had a profound effect on me. Oh, it profound effect on the neighborhood. As did the, Anthony Bousano has a profound effect on me. And, um, that's one of the difficult things about, um, looking back at the old days is because unfortunately, there was a lot of tragedy.

Uh, uh, you know, 15 year olds aren't supposed to die. You know, at 15, you feel invincible. And to lose Anthony at that age was just, my entire world was pulled out from me. Because I saw him one minute. You know, he was at my house. I'll never forget. He was at my house. I had just bought Pink Floyd's Animals had come out.

And it was the newest Pink Floyd album. I had just bought it. And I went, you know, Anthony and I are listening to the album in my basement. And his brother came by to pick him up to drive him home, and that was the last I saw of him. And that sort of thing to a 15-year-old who has never really been faced with death before, it just, you know, it was devastating. And then only a few short years later, when Dominic passed, well, I blamed myself for the longest time. I blamed myself.

And you remember, in between Anthony and Dominic, my mother died. So for me, it adds, I still remember my mother dying. Oh, yeah, my mother died 79. Anthony died in 80. And I don't know what I was doing on that fucking block. And I remember seeing Michael. Dominic died in 80. In 80.

Dominic, especially I died in 1980. And that was a terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible tragedy. and the truth of the matter was that we had just arrived at the lake where we were going to go swim it was an excessively hot day it was well into the 90s that day we had literally just arrived and everybody jumped in the lake to cool off and that's when the incident occurred there was not enough we certainly weren't there long enough to consume any sort of heavy amounts of alcohol or weed or anything like that. We had literally just arrived, and it was so hot out that we wanted to cool off first

before doing anything else. So I never really stuck around, well, not so much I didn't stick around, but I never really got to hear if drugs played a part in it or alcohol played a part in it. If it did, I certainly didn't see any of that happening. uh again we were simply literally just arrived and um decided to jump in the water and i was in the water with him and i turned my back on him for a minute uh to swim to the shoe off the lake and he was gone you know so i blamed myself for a very long time because i figured you know if anybody was going to save this guy it was going to be me but over the years um as you get older and

you have more life experiences, you tend to discover that the reason these things happen is because they happen. And that there's really not much that one can do about it. You know, why do things happen? Because they happen, you know, and it's that simple. I think sometimes people like to search for greater explanations for things, but unfortunately, sometimes an accident is simply that, an accident. And it was a very important, I mean, it was just, boy, that, that sent me into a really bad spot for a war on time. Oh, my God.

Ray, you know, I don't think I saw you after that for a while. You were very depressed. You know, that was the nail on the cherry for me, you know. Anthony was one thing. My mother was another. Now three people in three years that are fucking family with you. And it fucked me up for. 15 years and let's talk about the other side of the coin.

You know, my mother used to come home from the bar in Union City every night about 3.30 and she'd wake me up, Raymond. And she'd bring me a BLT from the four-star diner or a Cuban sandwich from Hernandez or something like that. And I'd wake up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And one night when I was a sophomore in high school, I went out and I did a hit of acid and I came home and I went to bed and I fell asleep. And, you know, one of those acid trips that you fall asleep and I heard her come home. And at one point I heard a yell for me, and I said, you know what, I don't want to go downstairs.

And an hour later, I got up to figure out why she wasn't in bed, and she was on the kitchen floor dead. And for years, I had to beat myself about whether or not I should have came down when she called. But I'm in the same boat as you. When God comes knocking, even if I would have gone down there, what would I? She was having a heart attack or whatever. I didn't know this. But for years, not really years. I got to be honest.

It took me about a year to figure out that when the man comes. knocking, the man comes knocking. There's nothing I could have done. But I lived with that for a while. I lived with the fact that if I would have came down, because I would have saved her life. So I'm telling you, looking back at that neighborhood, I love it with all my heart

because I got to tell you, it's who the fuck I am today. It's, oh my God, you know, that basketball court was where I learned hard work. That 38th Street basketball court was where I learned how to fucking work in the sun running up and down that fucking hill. How high was that hill behind Black Mallow's house?

Remember Black Mollos? You're like the younger Bunga woman? That's some steep shit. Well, we have some steep hills in North Bergen. But, you know, your mom, your mom was a hell of a cook. Oh, please. Your mom was a cuck, me. Lee, we would have both been 100 pounds.

I devote my taste for Cuban food, you know, through hanging out with you, hanging out with your mom going up on Burger Lane Avenue. But do you remember? Okay, now I'm going to answer it. Here's one. I don't know if you're going to remember this. Do you remember, you and I were little, little, little, we were playing baseball in your yard. And I was pitching, and you were batting.

And I pitched you the ball, and you hit the ball, and you drilled me right in the goddamn head with the ball. Do you remember? No, no. You binged me in the head with the ball, and my glasses kind of cut my cheek a little bit. You beat me in the face. It was an accident. You bing me in the face with the ball. And it was a good hit.

And your mom came out and she grabbed me and she brought me inside and she wiped my face and she cleaned my card and she gave me kiss on the head. And she was, she was just, do you want it? And, you know, so you're translating the whole time. And I had, she gave me soup and made me feel better. So your mom was so sweet. Yeah, that was a long fucking time. Do you remember? Do you remember being to me with me?

No, I remember. We had a lot of accents in that yard. I took Lee. I took Lee and showed him that yard. I took you purposely. That yard, we turned that into a little league field. That was a swimming pool. That was a basketball court at one time.

You know, how many times did we go in that attic and listen to Led Zeppelin and smoke pot? That's what we learned. Oh, yeah. Well, that wrecked out so much you can hear the other side. Oh, my God. Were you with me tonight that tried to fuck Faye Cardinelli's mother. Yeah, that was her name. Fay Cardonella. We were at the park. I was like 14. I was all

fucked up on fucking reefer and pill. No, we were doing T-A-C crystal. That was our T-A. You know, I still talk to Carlos Perez. I still see Carlos. Oh, do you? Yeah, when I go to Miami, I see Carlos and I got to tell you something, right? I don't see Sabatino. He stayed in Florida, huh? Yeah, Carlos' family. But I got to tell you something about me and Carlos. When we look at each other, I'm happy you called today, Ray, because nobody ever from down there called. And I think it's because a little bit of the pain. We all live with a little bit of that pain of what happened when we were kids on it, because we were very close.

Raymond, we were fucking close as kids. It's hard to look back sometimes on that time because there was. It was a little tough. It was tough for young people to be faced with death like that. you know and and and and for young people to die young people aren't supposed to die and i think that that's the thing that that you know knocked us all for a loop is that you know it's unnatural for a parent to bury their child that is not the way things go uh the natural progression of things is that we eventually care for our parents

and and we see them through to the end you know they've taken care of us and now we see them through to the end and so losing Anthony and losing Dominic, you know, just flies in the face of that. That's not supposed to happen. And then you losing your mom on top of it, that's an awful lot for 15-year-olds to take. Well, I'll tell you what, you know, in a short period of time. Let me explain something to you. I thought it was, I was very messed up after Dominic's death.

You said something. Very messed up from. You ever bump into a friend now and the answer? introduce you to their kid, and their kid's 14, 15. And in the conversation, he said, how old is your son? He goes, I'm 14 and a half. And you look at this 14.5 kid. And you figure to yourself, does this kid know what I was going through at 14 and a half?

Could he handle it to that? That's why, that's when I learned about myself. When I saw people's kids, I saw a 14, a 15-year-old kid, and I look at them and go, could he handle what happened to us at 15 emotionally? he would crumble. Like it made me become a man. Like I became a man overnight. Like there was no...

Michael Jackson always said, I was never a child. Well, bitch, let me tell you some. When my mother died, I went from being a fucking kid. A kid that played baseball and a kid that had a mini bike. And a kid that had that fucking, you know, just played two-hand touch to just getting thrown into the sea of... It was a complete different ocean.

And after facing... Mm-hmm. The death, the death my mom was one thing. Once Dominic, that happened to him, I lost faith. It broke me as a human being. And you're supposed to be broken at one point, but not at fucking 15 or 16. I was broken. You say that, that it broke your faith, because I would agree.

I would agree. I think the exact same thing definitely happened to me. Yeah, I agree. I totally agree. It destroyed me. It destroyed me for, I say, 15 fucking... It wasn't fair. No, it wasn't.

No, it wasn't. But you know what? Life isn't fair, and you get up, and you fucking take your cock out, and you salute the flag. And you, I think that the other half of it... Now, here's where the other... It gets interesting. The other half of it is where we grew...

I mean, I still remember Robin fucking... I just remember walking back from the Middlelands. After we went to see Ted Nugent, Mahogany Rush, Polko and Erosmith. Do you remember that? Do you remember being able to hear Ted Nugent from the basketball court when you were a kid from the Mental Hands?

Do you fucking remember that, brother? Do you remember that, Raymond? The stadium wasn't very far away. The stadium wasn't very far away. There was less construction around at the time. And I think when a big band was playing in the stadium, you could, you could probably hear something, depending on the night. But my mother used to have a heart attack.

I used to walk, used to walk out to Route 3, used to ride our bikes out to the stadium to go see the giant games. And I'm, you know, I'd come home on a Sunday afternoon, you know, Sunday night, I'd come home. My mother said, where were you? I was out at Giant Stadium. I saw the game. She says, how'd you get there? I rode my bike. You rode your bike on Route 3.

What the hell's wrong with you? Fuck, and we used to I remember being on a motorcycle with Frankie Bousan. I remember telling Frank you had to go to the track one night. He goes, come on, I'll give you a ride. In the dark with a headlight, he put Alona Mertons on the handlebars.

How about that name from a blast in the past? Alona Mertons, the blonde that lived on Charles Cork, the German girl that was fucking banging. She let me make out with her, like in the ninth grade, I made out with her in the fucking apartment. I drive home for the desk. She would show me her pussy. I still look for her on Facebook.

That little German chick was banging. Remember she had a little sister that was hot? She had a mother that was fucking hot. But she used to date a kid named Eddie Lamenca. Do you remember Eddie Lamenca? Oh, yes, yes. He's in Miami, too. I remember the names very well.

I remember the name very well. And I still talk to Mario Arias. I still talk to him pretty much. When I go to Vegas, I see Mario. We talk on the phone from time to time. I spoke to Lovito about a year ago. And you ready for this one, Raymond? Now, how old is Lovito?

Lovito's like 60-something. He was the last one to retire. You ready for this one, Raymond? I took Mr. Barone to the premier grudge match. Oh, did you really? Yes, I did. How's he doing? He's 60.

He's still a Boston Red Sox fan. He's still a Wackadoop. But, you know, when I got left back over New Yorker Reese's Pussy in the seventh grade, and he took a... care of me, man. And we became friends, and he taught me how to play basketball. And from time to time, I spoke to him, and I'm friends with his wife. And I just wanted to show him my appreciation. So I took him to the fucking premiere, and we laughed and we

giggled, and we had a great time. So, you know, he was one of the few teachers that took an interest in us outside of school. He took me, he took me to a Yankee game. I went to a Yankee game with Mr. Barone. You know? He was, you know, and perhaps you recall better than I, but I think that he was really probably the only, the only

teacher in that school that really seemed to genuinely be interested in the kids outside of academics or coaching, you know? And I got to tell you something. He's part of the core. He's part of the reason I became a comedian because he's funny as fuck.

That dude was funny as funny. Fuck. And, you know, I always think of those kids, Charlie Gizzy and Richie Colombo and David Bishop, but shit. There's not a day that goes by... What about Dean? What about Dean Loprene? Listen. Dean tortured Barone. I... Barone couldn't figure Dean out for nothing.

About Christmas Eve, I get buried down every Christmas Eve for about an hour. I don't know what it is, Lee. I miss my mother. You know, I miss my friends. I want to be in Jersey for about an hour every Christmas Eve. And this Christmas Eve, I said, you know what, honey, I got to go for a ride. I was feeling shitty. I went in the car. I put on Ozzy's bone yard. And I was looking for a weed store because all the wheat stores were closed.

And there was a weed store that was open on Burbank. So when I went over there, guess who called me, Dean LaPrie? And we talked for 45 minutes. And that's when I realized Raymond that it was me, you and Dean, and John Bender. We were the originals. We were really the originals down there.

Yeah, John Bender. What a nice family, the Bender family. The host of the Balzano family. They took me in. The both two families that took me in. And then years later, your brother became a cop. How many fucking times did your brother get me out of fucking beach growing up? How many fucking times?

If it wasn't for guys like your brother and those guys, I would have been fucking dead right now, Raymond. I came from that neighborhood. That neighborhood fucking raised me. You don't understand. That neighborhood raised me. Oh, yes. No, no, no.

They reached. Let me tell you something. What the Balzano's, and the vendors, and I have such just nothing but fond memories. What nice family people. People who were, I mean, everybody, yes, a lot of kids hung out at my place.

You know, we hung out at my house, we played music and we did stupid shit, but everyone hung out with the Balsanos. Everybody hung out with the vendors. I just just nice nice family oriented generous folks I know and I'm sure you you know that you of all people know that first hand I yeah that's why I learned the gift of friendship I learned a lot of things from those fucking people man Ray what did you end up going to do I see Bender on on Facebook every before I see he has a family and all that. And it doesn't surprise me.

Very family-oriented folks. I still have to figure out an apology for John Bender. I really do. I owe him a huge apology, but I'm still tight with Bobby Bender. When I go back, I get breakfast with Bobby, and we talk, and we talk about the father. Ray, what did you end up doing? I heard of taking him in ages. I saw John at the last high school reunion. Yeah, that's what he was saying. They all saw you at the reunion. I saw John.

Lisa Messina. I saw John at the last high school reunion, and he looked great. And, yeah, I have nothing but just wonderful, wonderful men, but of their parents as well. You know what I mean? That's how close and how open they were, because I remember their folks, too, you know, being nice to us kids. I'm a misabendous.

That was the more positive part of growing up in that neighborhood, was having people who are good family folks. Mr. Bender and I dragged one of D. Lorenzo's, one of Dennis D. Lorenzo's friends who was overdosing on heroin from his basement one night. Oh, Lord. Mr. Bender looked at the guy and he goes, listen, your friend's on heroin, he ain't going to die here.

Coco, grabbing on. We're throwing this cock sucker in the street. And until his day, I still remember looking at Mr. Bender going, I ain't touching this fucking. And him going to grab some fucking balls. Grab that fucking kid. Put the sandwich down. and he dragged the guy out and he went right back and got a sandwich and ate it like it was the fuck that cock-suck-sugger.

Ray, you ended up working at the sci-fi network for a long time. Did you not after that for how long? Yeah. So it's really weird that we both came for a fucked-up neighbor and we ended up in entertainment. Yeah, it's very, very, very interesting to me that, you know, it's funny because I think looking back, if you grabbed a dean or John Bender or Lisa Messina, Tanya, if you grabbed any of the, you grabbed any of the, you grabbed any of the. those people today and told them Coco grew up to be a stand-up comic and Ray Canella grew up to be making science fiction and horror movies, no one would be surprised. Absolutely nobody. I don't think anyone would be surprised that that's where you and I ended up because it was all there

in the very beginning. It was without question there in the very beginning. I wasn't terribly, I wasn't athletic as you guys were. I didn't play basketball. I didn't play too much baseball. I didn't play any football. I sat in a movie theater and watched monster movies. I had my mother make me go to the, go to the, my mother used to take me to the movies when I was a little kid constantly. So I wasn't terribly athletic. But the trajectory that you and I took, I don't really find out all that's surprising, really. I do. I do. I really do. I can't believe that. You know, Raymond, I can't believe that at 50, we're on the fucking phone right now with each other. So in this life, what are you doing now, Raymond?

But you should feel a sense of validation, though, shouldn't you? I mean, I feel a sense of validation. I mean, when you were a very young kid, you were hysterical. You were an entertainer at a very young age. You know, so I'm a little surprised to hear that you're surprised, because I think that being an entertainer is in your DNA. Not everybody can do this. Life is, you know, comedy is hard, life is easy, kind of thing.

So I think you landed exactly where you were supposed to be. I think it's a sense of validation, like I said, because I turned my hobby into a career. So I do feel a sense of, you know, a sense of validation in that what I pursued I was able to make a career out of. Lee, you got any questions for Raymond? Well, hey, Ray. Joey's told me a bunch about you for a few weeks, and I worked in TV for not as long,

and not on the executive side, but I find it interesting, because I've been telling people for a while that eventually there's going to be a change with TV, and I think it's pretty great that you've gone to YouTube now, and I it's probably you're probably making less than half of what you were making but in five years you're gonna have I like what do you think's gonna happen in five years when you're gonna have you're gonna be making 10 times that and everyone who stayed at the TV networks are gonna be flipping burgers and and like where do you think that's good like lay in shit like but it's go farfully I love it it's go it's going that way yeah

like you can't you can't it's just even with the comedy specials I don't I don't know where, how the advertising works with what you're doing, but for the money they're paying you and the restrictions they put on you, it's just not worth it anymore, especially when so many people aren't watching regular TV on their TV.

So just like, what went into the... You know what? You're really on target. No, he's on target. Ever since that Revo box came out, The Roku shit came out now. And I've been watching me, I see my wife entertained on Netflix, and I see her watching Hulu Plus, and I see it going back to Hulu Plus, and get me another code and how much she enjoys it.

I'm seeing this. And then you watch TV, you pay, I don't know how much money you pay for premium fucking cable. And how many nights do you sit there? You're either watching an old movie, you saw 80s two fucking times or a sporting event. And you're going, why am I paying? So what went into that thought process for you? Because I just went through the same thing. I left the TV, and I'm trying to do this full time.

and there's people who think I'm crazy and my parents every day ask me to go get another job because they're worried about the college loans but what explain how you're doing it because a lot of people are asking me like how do you go follow your dreams

and it must have been even more I can't imagine how much thought you had to put into it at your age when I'm sure you have a family and a lot more bills than I have Well it takes you know First of all that's a great question because it was, I would say, my last three years, three or four years with Sci-Fi Channel, I was uncomfortable.

I was uncomfortable because I have two teenage daughters. And I was watching, just three years ago, three, maybe four years ago, I was watching my teenage daughters obliterate the way you and I use television. completely, completely obliterated. They have broken all of the standardized rules, all of the standardized theories of what we thought the passive act of watching television was. These kids have obliterated it.

They have started new trends, such as binge viewing. Oh, yeah. You've heard of binge viewing, right? I did it last week. Also, the best TV show I've seen in the last... The next generation is also what I like to call. call screen agnostic. They do not care what device they watch their content on. They are not tied to the television the way that Coco and I were as kids. They can easily watch content on a tablet.

They can easily watch content on their phone. And they're also enjoying user-generated content. It doesn't have to be a major studio release to get a lot of attention. Now, my kids, My oldest spends hours in front of the computer with her friends watching people punch each other in the balls. Yeah. Okay, so what does that tell you? You know, it tells you that human nature is always going to lead the way. So while I was that sci-fi channel those last three years, here I am the only, you know, 48-year-old with a gaming system with an Xbox. I'm trying to explain to the other guys

you've got to get online you got to get the you got to get the Xbox you got to jump in this is a set top box this is a game changer it's changing everything and you know

they kind of looked at me like you know make another dopey monster movie so which was what I was doing over at sci-fi I was I was having too much fun making stupid monster movies

but over the like I said over the course of the last three years there was an enormous, enormous shift going on. And this just isn't my observation. Let's ask the people over at Borders Books. How's it going? Borders Books is out of business.

The post office is suffering. The post office is nearly out of business. They almost back to horses. And I think that that's a prime example of the digital disruption that's going on. Well, you know, the best TV show I've seen in probably 10 years, Have you seen House of Cards on Netflix? It's on Showtime. I've started watching it.

Yeah, yeah. Showtime. There might have been a miniseries, but it's Kevin Spacey, and it knocks everything out of the water, and he's, I was watching it with my pen. I was watching it with my mom,

and she said, why is Kevin Spacey executive producer? I said, because he probably made no money with it on Netflix, but he has so much more creative control. It got nominated for Emmys. And I don't want people to think it's just because they're sponsors, but we, we work, we've worked with Hulu Plus for a few months, and they have a bunch of original programming, and it's on par or better than anything on TV right now,

and it's where things are going, because like you said, it was a joke for me, because I had a TV in my living room, but I'd be on my bed with my laptop watching YouTube videos. It's just, it's where it's going, and have you seen the new Xbox, the Xbox one where you plug it in, and it can be your DVR, but you have Skype coming in, you can record you playing video games. There's no more, like, I like the show, Big Bang Theory, like that show makes millions of dollars and 20 million people watch it a week. But once that's gone, once this round of sitcoms are gone,

I think there's maybe five years left. Well, I'll tell you what. I'll tell you this much, and this is simply my opinion and my perspective on the landscape of television. Right now, the cablars and the broadcasters are throwing a lot of money at the problem. The problem being that their audience is shrinking. And the audience isn't shrinking because of lousy content. I think television right now happens to be quite excellent. I think that there's a lot of superb television on right now.

Very high-quality stuff because the cablers and the broadcasters are throwing so much money out the problem. However, at this stage of the game, the genies out of the bottle, their business can only shrink at this point. The next generation, growing up, cannot afford cable television. They don't want cable television. No. They want their entertainment the way that they've been brought up. They want their entertainment a la carte. Yeah, and I think there are.

And so when I got out of, when I got out of cable, when I left SciFri Channel, I was determined to be in the digital ecosystem. And that's what Coco and I were talking about yesterday prior to this phone call. If you're not on the Internet, if you're in the entertainment business, and you don't have a very strong presence on the Internet, the ship is sailing away. Oh, yeah. You're missing the both.

And I think there is, there definitely is a lot of good TV right now. The cables and the broadcasters live in this bubble because I go and I talk to people from, you know, I still talk to a few people at Sci-Fi Channel, and people say to me things like, oh, I'm just holding on until I can retire.

You know, we know the ratings are shrinking. We know the advertiser dollars are leaving. I'm just holding on until I can retire. And I say, fuck that. I don't want to hold on until I retire. I want to be relevant for the next 20 years. And this is how Screenbox began. I was fortunate enough to be contacted by the founders of Screenbox when they found out that I left Sci-Fi.

They were looking for a programmer. And I said, yes, of course. I mean, to have a second opportunity to work in a genre that means so much to me, science fiction and horror. I'm a fan, you know. I mean, yes, I could get paid. I get paid to do this stuff. But I'm still that six, seven-year-old kid

in the theater watching monster movies. I haven't changed that much. Oh, no, and that's... You know, some people want to fly to the moon. Some people want to cure cancer. I wanted to make zombie movies. Now, you could say that maybe I didn't aim terribly high, but I'm doing it.

And that's when you can tell you. Telling it's good and he said it's something interesting. You said there is a lot of good TV out there. And I think that's because... Yeah. You have to have it. It's great now. There is good TV, but the problem is there's so much garbage.

There's a TV show I saw a clip of where it was karaoke, but the woman in the middle singing had to stick her hand in and touch snakes. There's so much garbage right now that when you turn on the TV, when you turn on the TV, it's hard to... It's hard to see it. through the shit. So the good thing about screenbox is if, like let's say I like horror, my girlfriend loves horror. So I'll show her screen box

and she'll go and she won't see a bunch of shitty horror movies or TV shows. She'll be, she'll see your whole lineup and if it's all good, she'll keep coming back. So. Well, the other choice, the other thing about screenbox is that it's your choice at your leisure

wherever you can get a signal. If your phone gets YouTube, you can get my channel. If your tablet gets YouTube, you can get my channel. You know, one of the things that I learned at my years at sci-fi, because sci-fi channel and these big, big, big, big, all of these big cable networks spend millions of dollars on research, research and focus groups, and it's wise of them to do so, and it's part of the process. And what we discovered through these focus groups and through the research is that the average household only watches between

nine and 14 channels. Yeah. Now, you know, for you guys on the phone and for everybody else listening, you know, take a piece of paper, write down on that piece of paper the television shows you watch and the networks there on. And you're going to discover that you only watch between nine and 14 channels. If that. The rest of it, you are not paying for you.

You're not watching it. You're paying for it. but you're not watching it. So cable, you know, to spend $200 bucks a month, $300 bucks a month if you have multiple sets and you have HBO, showtime, you got bit a bit of a book, you're not watching the majority of it. Now, when you go food shopping and you spend $200 on groceries,

do you let three-fourths of it sit on the table to rot? Yeah, exactly. But that's what you're doing with cable. So the next generation gets that. The next generation sees that. You know, I was on the radio with a couple of guys just the other day, and they were complaining that Netflix went up to $8 a month. You know, so the next generation is not only obliterating the business model,

but the pricing, the market, what the market, the market can only charge, you know, they can only charge what the market will bear. and the next generation is giving them the finger and saying no and you know what's crazy you know what's crazy about that I don't know anybody everyone almost everyone has Netflix but I don't even know anyone anymore who still has the DVDs delivered it's all streaming like even having the DVD even having the DVD delivered

no one does because they raise the prices in the media tangible media is done you know it's all files now and again this is the way that the next generation is being brought up. This is what they're being acclimated to. And so it was funny because I got put in a position. You know, I was part of the team that launched Sci-Fi Channel 20 years ago. I was hired before Sci-Fi was on the air. So I was one of the original programmers. And launching that channel, and then being a part of Screenbox and launching that channel, the theories of the theories and the theories and the third, the

processes of launching a channel remain the same. It's the infrastructure that's completely different now. So can you explain to people what a programmer is for people who aren't in TV? Well, you know, I mean basically what I do is I try to, as a programmer, you try to give the channel its voice, you try to give the channel its attitude, you try to give the channel its personality, and you do that through the programming, through the shows that you select, that you want to present on your channel and at what times you want to present them. And the nice thing about the digital ecosystem is that I'm free.

I am free of the shackles of broadcasting cable in that my material is unedited, uncut, no interruptions, no commercials, no pop-ups, nothing. You're paying a fee and you're watching a movie. There's no promos in between. You can stop the movie when you want. You could start the movie again. It's completely liberating as opposed to cable. Now, I work in horror in science fiction.

Okay? So as a storyteller, because I was also a producer of movies at sci-fi, as a storyteller, all right, you're trying to tell a horror story. Horror relies on moments of tension, moments of dread, moments of suspense. Okay, so you're building up these moments in the viewer, and then the screen goes blank and it's a goddamn burger can come out. And everyone has their hamburgers and they're dancing around and they're happy. And it bounces you out of the movie.

It bounces you out of the horror. And as a programmer for sci-fi channel and as a fan of these movies, it breaks my heart. Yeah. You know, because the movie goes to commercial at a critical point. And it destroys the narrative. And thankfully, I'm free of that. now. Raymond, do you remember taking...

These movies can go up and people can enjoy them. The way that they're intended to be enjoyed, horror cannot be interrupted. I can't watch American horror story with the frigging commercials. I struggle with Walking Dead, even on the DVR. If I got to pick up the remote and fast forward through the commercials, it's disruptive to me.

Yeah, no, exactly. Raymond, do you remember taking the bus to Jersey City getting high and going to see, like, Dawn of the Dead and all that. Oh, yeah. Shit, yeah. I mean... Richard Pryor live on the sunset strip.

Dude, we used to go to the state theater down in Jersey City, down in Journal Square, and go see Solominee as the same. Yeah. And then stop at White Castles later on for the Monchies. You know, I drove with Bobby Bender down Bergenlein Avenue and we pulled up in front of the Union City Cinema. And I thought of all the fucking films I watched there

from the longest yard to Tommy. The one on Bergen Law. Hey, I think you and I went to Tommy, the longest jar, enter the dragon, all the Bruce Lee movies. Let me tell you. Exorcist, I saw there. There were times when I think that the staff of that theater could have shut down and gone home for the day if I didn't show up with me and my bodies, you know, like me and a couple of guys, because we'd be the only people in the theater, you know. And then the movie's done, and we leave, and everyone's stand. They're trying to go home.

these poor folks. Got three white assholes sitting in the theater laughing their brains out when we could have gone home for the day. I practically lived in that theater. I grew up in that far.

I can't even, I look at movies now. I saw that. The French connection. I saw it. Because my mom had that bar there from 61. So, you know,

from the time I could remember, she gave me a couple dollars and you walked to the cinema. The New Moon Chinese restaurant, pastore music. I remember being in front of the, the pastoral music and seeing Greg Ormond walk out with Cher. Are you

fucking kidding me? In Union City fucking New Jersey. My head almost fucking blew up. I love you, Ray, for calling in today. It made me happy and sad at the same time. You brought back great memories and just to know that was still here. Carrying the fucking

torch at 38th Street. That was kind of our childhood. You know, I mean, it was, there were good times and there was tragedy too. You know, it was it wasn't it, but you know what, I mean, looking back it is, you can't, you can't not look back and think about the harsh things that occurred. But there's a lot to, there's a lot to be happy about as well.

I mean, we were, for a little while anyway, we were happy kids. And I think that we've come out the other end, okay. Do you remember, I don't know by you, but I'm all screwed up? Do you remember when Carmine Bouselon handcuffed Mr. Clemens and beat him up, and given that terrorist and he kept your own police brutality? So he went from door to door telling people to sign them. I saw it live, signed a petition. And, you know, till this day, Michael Clemens won't friend me on Facebook because of,

I wasn't, I didn't cover for his dad that day. I saw a car mine throw a couple of beatings down there that were mine by when you're a job. Now, did I hear correctly, or did Mr. Balzano pass? No, Mr. Balzano is alive and kicking. I went out to dinner with him about a month and a half ago, it was me him and me him and Pete went out there. Why did I think he passed? Who passed away them?

There's certain people in this life that are going to die and there's certain people in life that aren't going to die. They ain't going to die. They're going to be the last man standing. And I have a feeling calm. It's going to be one of those people, bro. You know. Yeah.

Yeah. It's, uh, why did I think that? My goodness me, how one awful thought. I mean, he was just, I mean, the whole family was just great. we'd go swimming and hang out and um the house was always open uh just the my brother and I both

What about we were across the street and fucking The feds were over there because they were looking for the gun that Pattyhurst Used in the fucking picture you see it remember that shit These money you know Ray I'm happy you fucking call Speaking of that crazy shit I'm watching the ice man right now Oh that's right we were talking about that last night on the phone Tell them how we grew up

with Pronga? You had the pleasure of meeting the Iceman. Me, I never saw that motherfucker, but I knew who Mr. Prongay was. Yeah. You know, it's a little eerie that this was all coming to light. But Coco and I, for you folks out there listening, we knew Mr. Softie. Mr. Softie was a hitman for the, well, he was kind of a freelance contract.

He worked for different crime families. He worked for the Gambinos and a few others. And we knew him, you know, because of his kids, they lived in Charles Court. So we knew little Johnny Prongay. And we knew, you know, we knew the family, but the father was, well, a sociopath. Now, Kuklinski, the Iceman, I met. I met Richard Kukkensky, and one of his... daughters. My father had a retail store on Kennedy Boulevard, uptown in North Bergen.

And, you know, putting two and two together, I now realize that probably a decent amount of the goods that he sold in the retail store were fenced. So, you know, they kind of fell off the truck. And that was Kuklinski. So one day, I'm at the store with my father, and this enormous man comes through the door, long, long winter coat, big guy, fur collar, big guy, and a girl, a little girl. And they, you know, they shook hands. I was introduced. The guy's hand was like a catcher's mitt. Huge, huge man, I'll never forget. And they gave me like 10 bucks and told me and his daughter to go upstairs to the bowling alley and get a Coke. And so that's what we did. We went upstairs and we got a Coke and we sat and we talked while my father did business with Richard Kiklinski.

But, um, holy, Vey, Kukkinski left bodies all over our neighborhood. At the York Motel, right, Coco? He cut that body in hand. We used to go over and get potato chips. We were kids from the fucking hotel lobby. The York Motel, which was only about 200 yards from my house, was where one of Kiklinski's victims was found. He left, boy, the diner on Route 46, he stuffed a guy in a barrel and left the barrel next to a dumpster on Route 46,

and the barrel stayed there for like weeks. They think that he killed Steve Benevento's father, too. They think he killed Steve Benevento's father, the gangster from West New York. They say that he killed Steve Benevento's father also. It's highly likely. it's highly highly highly likely but um yeah that was my one brush with uh something that i i i you know and it's funny too because i never forgot the man because he was so enormous but uh he died in jail kukkensky and um and so i'm in the middle of watching the movie now and it's just interesting

because you know john prongay's dad drove a mr thorpey truck and his method of execution was cyanide So when you think about it, here's a guy handling cyanide and selling ice cream to kids at the same time. You know, that's pretty spooky. Let me tell you something. We grew up in an area that I took Lee there and we shot the Prongay's house and we shot Sabatino's house. Like I said, I grew up in an area that made me and also broke me. It broke me and made me. It broke me as a kid.

But let me tell you something. I'm happy that you call and I want you to do it again. We've got to get the fuck out of here. This was the most interesting call we've had in a long goddamn time. We went from death to happiness to TV to the death of television to why you should fucking... To mafia? To why you should subscribe to Hulu Plus for $7.99 a month.

Raymond, I will give you a call later on and we will have you back on here again. What's the name of your YouTube channel? Screenbox. Screen box. Thank you so much, Coke. Thank you so much for everything. It's just great to talk to you. You know what I would love to do?

If we could get Dean Lepri, or John Bender, the three of us on the phone together, that would just be great. I would really, really enjoy that. Let me talk to Dean. He's shy. Everybody listening out there, the channel is called Screenbox, and I want you to go on YouTube, okay, and do a search for Screenbox. Look for me.

I use a stage name. My stage name is Ray Zilla. It's a nickname I developed while I was at, sci-fi channel. It was a nickname that I kind of got stuck on to me while I was at sci-fi. And I'm the host of the channel as well. So I want everybody out there to go to YouTube, search for Screenbox. The first two weeks are free. It's a $2.99 per month subscription. Okay? So it's $2.99 a month. It ain't going to break you back. It ain't going to break the bank like cable does. And the first two weeks are free. And you go there and watch

To your eyes bleed. Scream as much as you want. So, Ray, what's a good movie or show or one of the videos to watch? What's your favorite one? Or what's one people should watch and see if they're going to like it? I have two favorites, actually. Two favorites that I really enjoy on the channel. One is called Dead and Breakfast.

And it's a zombie musical, actually. I made it available. We made it available for free over the, thanks over the Christmas holiday, because we wanted to position it as sort of like the sound of music, only with a lot more blood, you know. You get burnt out on all the holiday stuff. But a bed and breakfast, which is a wonderful zombie musical, it's a great movie. And the second one I really enjoy, and there's a film that you should all check out, it's called God of Vampires.

And it's a, it's a, it's not a twist, but it puts a spotlight on the Chinese, Chinese version of the vampire. What's known as the Changxi, they are blind corpse vampires, zombie vampires, so they're actually flesh eaters as well. And that's one of the things that you're going to find at Screenbox is that the United States is not the beginning, middle, and end of horror films. That there's horror films from around the world. And that's the type of material that we want to present on Screenbox is international horror as well as U.S. domestic. So check out those two movies. God of Vampires and Dead and Breakfast.

And do you have, I just, because it's just so new, do you have like us, we do the show every Monday and Wednesday. Does Screenbox have every Monday or once a month? You put a new thing on there, or does it come as it comes, or how does that work? Well, we present a new film. We unlock a new film every week on the channel. So when you come to the channel, and you click on there,

every week there's going to be a brand new film, besides the 200 other movies that are there on the channel, every week is going to be something new. Also, as the host, I do movie reviews. I go to the theater, and I do reviews of big theatricals. I also travel around the state to horror conventions,

and I shoot little packages, and I just uploaded a package from a horror convention in Atlantic City called Bazaar AC. I went down there for a day and hung out with my people. The Great Unlaunched, as I like to call them. And so I'm out and around creating original content for the channel as well.

So you can watch movies or you can watch me being an idiot. So that's crazy. For three bucks a month, you get at least minimum four movies. You're less expensive than Red Box. That's pretty crazy. And if you're in a hot...

It's less than 50 bucks a year. it's entertainment a la carte, which is what the public has wanted for decades. The public has wanted entertainment. They don't want, the public does not want all of these cable channels that they're not watching. If the public had the choice, they would prefer to choose what channels they want to watch, as opposed to just having to accept everything. So it's entertainment a la carte, horror movies, the way you're supposed to watch them. Well, that's awesome.

If anyone watching should put in the comments that you heard him on here just so he knows, and that's crazy. I'm going to show my girlfriend this weekend. She loves horror, so you probably just made my weekend a whole bunch of horror. And there's a lot. I just returned from a film market in Santa Monica back in November and closed a few deals, so there are more movies coming. There's always, the fun part about joining Screenbox right now is that you're going to get enough. opportunity to watch us grow. And it's the early days that are sometimes the most fun because we will experiment a little

more. You know, when you're fresh out of the gate, that's where a lot of the fun is. So, you know, if you join Screenbox now, we're only going to get bigger. And you get to watch that. And you get to come along for the ride. I love you, buddy. Stay black of the black. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Because you've got no reason to lie, cucksucker. I love you. Have a great weekend. Happy New York. That's what you said to me last night. I love you, dude. I love you, brother. Thank you.

That was a fun podcast. Hey, let's do this again, all right? Anytime, brother. Just let me know when you want to call. Take care, dude. Thank you so much for the great questions on Screenbox. No problem, man. Thank you.

All right, brother. Be well. You too. What do you think of that, Lee? That was your favorite. He's a good dude. Yeah, it's good. It's crazy.

because I know there's so many people, especially in TV, who are his age, and refuse to do anything different. Nothing. Nothing. So it's, I can't imagine.

Because I was thinking, oh, maybe they have the movies on there and once every few months they add a new one. If they're adding four movies a month for three bucks, I mean,

that's... That's your next bench, Lee. While he was talking, I was thinking, this is your next thing. You like all this shit. I was very surprised

how you acted at the Grudge match premiere. You like film. I mean, I love me. You like film. You got to get it together, Lee. You're slipping. You know what I'm saying?

This is the shit. Dollar 99 a month, Lee's favorite. You get porno on there. A couple people getting killed, some horror. Yeah, the issue is the licensing for what they have.

But, I mean, that's, that's, I didn't even know YouTube had stuff like that. I didn't know. I heard about it, yeah. And they got an original program. I'm going to give some shoutouts real quick. Go for it. Slay Gott, you bad motherfucker.

Pamela, I love you. Sheila in Boston. Training motherfuckers up there. Superhuman D. Zachary Holstein Kevin Munoz Mr. Spacely Get well Cough sucker

Stop eating those vikins Westport 115 Daniel Hodson and Constantine You bad motherfucker over there Letting bitches know What's cracker lacking You know you my guys might think

We set this up We didn't set this up this way Hulu plus bitches 799 a fucking month How many times I gotta tell you It's two weeks for free Boom on the fucking cuff Until you decide

If it's even worth And after the conversation today, you should be running to fucking Hulu Plus. What are they pressed in the box? Joey. Joey. So go to Joey Diaz.net, look at the tour schedule

and at the same fucking time, bam, right in the box. And when you're out of it, we talked about it yesterday. That's what got me going last night, to be honest with you, was that fucking... Nature box?

I'm out of Nature Box. The last thing I ate was that fucking ice-eat granola. That's delicious. You try that shit. We'll get our Nature Box next. Fucking go to Honet.com. I'm telling you right now.

I'm 50 years old last night. My endurance is growing. I'm still a fat fuck, but I'm out there. And that's the most important thing. All right, you're out there. That's it. You've got to get out there. Number three, nature's box.

I'm more fucking impressed with this than ever before. 50% off. It's nutritionless approved. Like Lee said, it's better than bringing fucking kick cats or to be going back and forth to the fucking thing to eat fucking chocolate or potato chips. Get the cocoa almonds. Get the fucking pumpkin seeds with the salt.

Go to Joey Dears. Go to the box. 50% off. What are they pressing? Joey. Who's better than you, Lee Coxsucker? Pretty soon your own show, they'll be going and saying, who do you press, Lee Syatt, or the flying fucking Jew?

Or the flying Jew. You're looking handsome today with that stripes. I'm trying. Stripes, you bad motherfucker you. And finally, last but not least, Buffalo, New York. Listen, I'm coming in like a fucking big black cahuna. So get your shit together. Let's warm up.

Bring Riefer. Bring that powder down from fucking Canada. I don't give a fuck. Just get there, cocksucker. Bring the dog sled. That's what you people are known for. The week after I'm at the Melrose Improv. My main man, Lisa,

I'm going to be down there giving out autographs and slinging dick as usual. And fucking the house of comedy up there in the Mall of America, the 24th to the 26. We got a live podcast and the 30th. We're not fucking stopping this month.

I'm shooting Marin this month. Oh, shit. Yeah, we ain't fucking around this month, Lee. We're building the fucking podcast, casual. Our own fucking, we're setting our market and forcing it late. That's it.

It's time. I love it. Sick and fucking tired. And you're going to open up your own fucking video page, too. I suck it. Don't make me go over there and burn you with this. He's cigarette.

I'm in the mood today. And everyone, please go check out Flying Jew Radio. We did a great one yesterday with Augustino. That's new. We put one up every week. And then also next week, Jill Himitsu is doing an inspired disorder 24-hour podcast. And I talked to her last night. I'm going to do, I don't know how long I'm going to be on there, but I'm auctioning off to support Yognati.

Either a call-in to Flying Ju Radio. You can talk about whatever you want. And I'm also going to do because I always get calls. How do I start a podcast? If you want, call in. We're supporting Yuck Nasty. I'm not taking any of the money. I'm going to donate the highest bidder.

If you want to do a Skype with me and how to set up a podcast and how to do the Skype. How about the fucking auctioning off your underwear? If people want my underwear, fuck it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. And a good pair of the way.

You got to walk around the blog a couple times. That's a bad pair under way. A little muffler sniff. That's what people want. There's a chick that she gets. $30 for socks. For socks. Can you imagine what you got for your underwear

for sniffing them? Fucking raffle it off, Lee. Right now. Put it out there. Lise, I ask him to raffle off. I'll pay an underwear. Look at him. He's getting all hot under the collar.

No, fuck it. I'll do it. Women will smell that fucking... Anything to get it back in the house. And they wear it on their face like musk. It's all over. I can't imagine losing a house. But anyways, it's next Tuesday and Wednesday.

Just go to Jill Jim Mitsues page. We're doing this. We're doing this. We've got to help out, Yuck Mastie. He's part of the fucking network. every three weeks what good is being part of something if we don't all fucking chip in

like I said I don't know how many fucking downloads we get a month I know how to bring it up with a wall chipping a dollar to yuck nasty this all make it fucking better listen man this is the first week of the year

I hope you guys are focused and ready for what's coming up God knows what's going to happen we just want to be healthy and fucking strong this year Lee's making some fucking leaps and bounds I saw him yesterday doing jumping jack with fucking

with spats on this shit what's going on this shit what's going on contact sucker with you. Nothing. Just I was really yesterday with Flying Drew Radio

because it takes a while like you remember when we get in a rhythm but we got a few great calls yesterday and we were talking about just stuff that's going on and just

I want to I always get revved up in the mornings with us I want to call Ray Cannell and do a podcast with him or I don't know what but it's that's it's

that whole conversation really at least I know someone's working on it so it's a whole new fucking year bro and the whole new set of rules, brother. And you got to grow and you got to roll with the punches as much as you don't like it sometimes.

And that's what's going on with television. We've seen it with the show. We've seen it with the podcast. You know, this is a show. This is just us being ourselves. And we have an internet presence. So this is where it's going. And I enjoy doing it.

I enjoy being freely. You know, I went to a meeting Monday that was horrific. Yeah. I can't imagine it. Yesterday. Yesterday. that in Hollywood, that was just horrific on their thoughts of podcasting in the future.

And I sit there, and, you know, Lee, on the way up, Laurel Kane, I got sick, I called you, and I said, I wouldn't feel good. You know what makes us a fucking authority that we're doing it? On the way up, I was like, you know what? Whenever I lead these things, I always feel like a fucking asshole, because I always look down at the people in a way, like who the fuck are they to judge us

or to say that they want to do a podcast and make me a... These people were offering me like a section on the podcast, but they wanted me to keep it a little cleaner and I left there and they're turning something simple like television everybody always wants to turn something simple into something so fucking hard you know what Lee I don't have a format for this show no do I am I interested in having one if we play a song one day and if we don't play a song next way if we have a call one day if we don't we're giving you entertainment

or what we consider something that's worthwhile for you to listen to I see what's on TV I say the fucking talk shows it's a bunch of people talking about promoting fucking a movie I don't give a fuck about that shit I want to know what makes you fucking tick yeah and that's why we've been successful we get on here I don't write fucking jokes as we're talking them if they come out they come out if not fuck it that's what happens you know what I'm saying we're getting high we're having a good time and we're just being us and that's what people want to see most people I want to see that and I've been yearning for that for years I've been yearning for that for years it's

like when you look at People magazine you see George Clooney yuckin it up with fucking Brad Pitt that's not really they're on a movie set the people with cameras there. You know what happens in real life? That's what we've given you. I don't fucking pallish these stories up. I just come up with fucking names and who our sponsors are and the dates. There's no fucking material here. What the fuck?

This just goes as it goes. And that's why it's successful and that's why we have the fucking people we have. And that's why, who who fuck knows Lee? I can't. I got to stop smoking dope. I love you guys. Either I see you in Buffalo this week or I'll see you in fucking Melrose

the week after or I'll see you from Minneapolis. M.B. Girl. M.B. Leaf. I see you sexy motherfucker. Beside that, stay black. Have a great day. And tell Joel Osteen, whatever. Now that the show's over, don't forget to

sign up for your free trial of Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus lets you binge on thousands of hit shows anytime, anywhere on your TV, PC, smartphone, or tablet. Support this podcast and get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus. When you go to Huluplus.com slash Joey or go to joey-d-Di-S.net and click on the Hulu plus banner. And also, not that the show is over, remember to sign up at naturebox.com,

order great tasting, healthy snacks at 50% off. Snacks smarter in the new year with healthy and delicious treats like French toast, granola. Support this podcast and get 50% off of your first order. Go to naturebox.com and use promo code Joey. That's naturebox.com. Promocode Joey.