The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #145 - The Church Of What's Happening Now

Episode Date: January 27, 2014

Porn Director Sal Genoa calls in to torture Lee and talk New Jersey with Joey This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Hulu Plus. Visit Huluplus.com/joey for an extended free trial. Dollar Shave Club. Use promo code CHURCH and get high quality razors sent to your door. Nature Box. Visit Naturebox.com and use promo code Joey for 50% off your first order. Recorded live on 01/26/2014.

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50%. That's right. Go to NatureBox.com and use promo code Joey. That's NatureBoss. The fuck. Pro-a-com promo code. What the fuck? Get up, bitches.

Oh shit. Oh shit. Sunday night, special edition church. Tell Jesus he's done. Come back next Sunday and I'll give you a fucking piece of bread. Whatever. Oh shit. Oh shit, little Pupac.

This is a late Sunday night for some of years. Early Monday morning if you're fucking in Swahili. But fuck it, you know what we're saying. In two hours, it's midnight. Somewhere, dig it. Lee, wiggle. Wiggle, what? Uh-in.

Oh, shit. Whether you're going to sleep or you're waking up to this motherfucker here. Listen, you might stab somebody for there. This is deep, deep on a Monday

that opened up with Tupac. Oh, shit. What do you think, Lee? I don't know what to think. I love it. What up, Lee, Lysayette? Tell me something good, cock-licking. I had a great weekend.

You're on fire right now. I don't know if you did did some hash the flight home or something? I don't know. Fifty-two fucking edibles. I did the whole thing. I'm home, you know,

but we had to do a special edition Sunday night because I'm working Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, so I didn't know when I could do another podcast. I know your motherfuckers wake up on Monday morning. Enjoy it. What the fuck? You threw me to the wolves. No, I don't want that to happen.

So, bam, we show up late night. Stone to the gazills. Fuck it, blasting away, just to either put you to sleep or get you going Monday morning. You know what happened this weekend? What did you do? I had Paula come over.

Okay. Went to the movies. Went to a great movie. Take Mediterranean food. No, we didn't have Mediterranean food. Oh, more. Your fucking system must be like tremendous. The hummus has been climbing you up.

No, and we had Thai food last night. Ooh, we were from bad to worse. There's nothing wrong with Thai food. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. You liked like three things. Like Italian, Chinese, and American. I think that's it.

That's it. Yeah, that's all you like. And you didn't even like that crazy Chinese You're like... The original. I like terriaki and don't fuck around anything like that. But terriaki ain't Chinese. Terriaki's Japanese.

Oh, look at you. If you're going to a Chinese join all in terriaki and throwing me to the fucking wolves. That's what I'm trying to fucking tell you here. I heard you had a funny... Some food happened in Minnesota. I had tremendous fucking food. No, I heard someone sent rants up to it.

Oh, somebody sent me rants. I couldn't face. I fucking lost my mind. I nearly snapped. I snapped like a fucking whale wolf at midnight. I fucking snapped. I was pissed because I was in deep. I was in deep.

I wasn't doing too well. So, you know, this guy throws me to fuck the fucking left ranch. Now I'm really dying in fucking the eternal flames. Next time you see Joey send hummus up to the stage and I'll be sending nothing to the fucking stage.

Why do you business, top of sucker? Because I come home and I eat with a dish of hummus right in the fucking head. Relax with the hummus. I don't like no hummus. I don't like no fucking ranch. You might just put those two things together? I'm sure someone has.

Oh, Jesus Christ. You don't, you know what to think about it? Dip your chicken wings in it? No, no, no. Do you're 7-11-h chicken with that. It gives me fucking awkward. It gives me disgust in my throat. You got 50 pubic hairs in your throat.

I thought you'd love that. I don't like that shit, man. How was the movie? What movie did you go see? We saw her, which was great. I thought it was great. But since I started this movie podcast with Rick, I've been thinking about movies.

And I can see, because you told me you had heard bad things about it. Just bad reviews from people. I read something on Twitter. Yeah. And Diagostino tweeted something. The Agostino went to the movies and the movie was slow. Something. It was very slow, but it's interesting how your mind frame or your frame of mind when you're seeing a movie really affects it.

Because I could see, it's all about a relationship and hurt. And I'm in a great one right now, so I'm really happy about it. So I could see six months ago when I was single really not liking it. So it was kind of interesting, but it was, it's kind of like your worst nightmare, like, technology. like technology has kind of taken over it's like in 30 years it's like when mercy grows up what it's gonna be like

and it's uh it was kind of it was interesting um I hope it does well in the Oscars it was a good move I've adjusted to what I've needed with technology yeah I just

I just passed by little fucking pubicaz on the line of just okay I have the computer I don't have an ice board on iPad none of that shit I don't need the fucking thing on my phone.

I just, I know I could have it, but I don't need it. I know that, you know what, there's a time and a place for a computer. There's a time of a place to be human. There's a time, for me. That's kind of the point of the movie. For me, in a way. That's what it's all about to me. I liked it. I like it, too. I can get hooked on it. Listen, there's nothing better than sitting at home.

Smoking dope, a pack of cigarettes, a book, shades down, and just going through fucking music on YouTube. I did it. I did it. I would buy a fucking gram of weed in the morning and just sit there while Terry was at And I'd smoke dope for two, three hours watching YouTube videos over and over and over and And watching live performances. So I know how the addiction works. You know, Rogan says he was into the games, quake and all that shit online.

I know how it fucking works. And I can't let that happen. I enjoy being on it. I enjoy fucking around in the mornings. I enjoy writing comedy on it. And not really. I still like to write it out. I enjoy writing the book online.

But besides that, I like to have a life. When I go to fucking... Minnesota. Drink coffee. When we meet for coffee, I always fucking bring a notebook. You know, so I still want to keep that piece of my sanity. I want to keep that.

I enjoy that. It breaks it down. My wife said something interesting to me today. She goes, you know, in the mornings, I have to put her down and feed her and start writing again in the mornings to give me focus of my day. It's so important that you write in the morning sometimes.

Five minutes. That's why. Listen, you don't need to like coffee. but we can't drink a soda. But we need something to slow us down and to open you up in the morning. For some of us, it's reefer, for some of us it's 10 pushers,

for some of us it's stretching, but you need something to just open everything up. And sometimes it's really good just to sit down with a notebook and put Monday, January 27th. It's a beautiful day to be alive. I'm going to work today. I've got to take a bus.

It sucks, but hey, at least I'm working. You know, tonight. I'm going to go to my Dart League. I'm going to fucking read three pages in my book. At least you understood the day. Your day has a purpose sometimes. And we've had sort of kind of this discussion before about how you only take things as far as you think they can go

and then you move on to something new. Is that what happened with your blog post? Because watching this movie last night, I never have the urge to write anything. But I think I might write a blog about it just because I was moved. And you used to do them every week and they were really great. Every Monday for like three years.

Yeah. No matter where I was, I sat down, to be honest with you, the podcast took over. Yeah, that's what I was going to, I was thinking. The podcast really took over. For me, the blog was a week of taking notes, just making mental notes, and then writing them down. And then on Sunday night, looking at them, going to bed, waking up at 4.30 and fucking writing it. Right from there, I jump across the street to the YMCA, and I hit the steam bath, the jacuzzi, and I swim for 45 minutes. And I'd be home by 7.30 in the fucking morning.

Okay. You know, it's, but it's really interesting. And there used to be, I forget what the name of the book was. In the late 90s, in the mid-90s, it was very popular. There was a series of books by the writer's spirit or something like that. And what it basically told you was to get up in the morning and just write uncontrollably, you know, and then going, whatever, start your day. I like that.

That's part of my thing. Sometimes I read what I wrote a month ago. I'm like, what the fuck is this? But it was 5.30 in the morning. I just forced myself to do it. The most important thing is to force yourself to do it. It doesn't matter what the fuck you write. You're going to look at it.

But in time, you're going to be looking at it. You're going to be writing it a lot better. Instead of writing there, you're going to write there with the T-H-E-R-Y-A-Postrophy. You're going to see little things adjust, which gives you more focus. You don't need to go on no computer and play luminosity. Exercise this from my mind. Go fuck yourself. What do is get back to the feather, cock, sucker.

Get back to the feather. Back to the feather and get back to fucking writing. And you'll see, especially in the mornings, I like that little notebook, Monday, January 27, Tuesday, January 28, Wednesday, January 29th, which is my anniversary in LA, 17 motherfucking years. Wow.

17 years in Los Angeles, ladies and gentlemen, half of my fucking life. 17 years. I figured I was in North Bergen. Yeah. So I was 21, 85. I was in Colorado for maybe 15. Now I'm here 17.

Seattle 3. That's so crazy. And it's pretty crazy how, I mean, how things have been just piling up. You did Brooklyn 9-9. You're working again this week. You just did the De Niro movie. And that's one of the things we talked about when we first started working together is you sat me down and you had me watch that Dangerfield movie.

What was the name of that? Easy money. Easy money. He said he didn't hit until he was older. and like that's what you said if that was your wish for yourself well the funny thing was that I always thought by this age

nothing would happen but then I watched the biography one night on Rodney Dangerfield and it refreshed my memory even though he had a job and he had to support his family he wrote every day so when he hit

every time he had a TV appearance he had new six minutes people like that motherfucker's brilliant no he had written that he had notebooks full of that shit he had tons of shit written So it was really easy for him to have that and then all of a sudden he hit You know they put him in a caddyshack and they put him in then they put him in fucking easy money

Which is a brilliant fucking movie Yeah, I just watched it again not the whole thing I watched the wedding part the other day okay on uh I have it on my DVR when I went down to the To the video place I took off all the old shit and I saw that it was still on there easy money It's the first movie I basically Taped it's the first one so that's one of my old times favorite fucking movies.

But thank you for reminding me. It wasn't a dream at that time. It was more of if he did it, I got a shot. I got a shot.

Do you think, I think more and more it's going to be because they went for a while and had a lot of young movie stores and they kind of duds.

It's not their fault. I mean, it's, when you're young, you don't really, you don't have that experience. And now, and now they're going back, Bill Cosby,

just got a new show on NBC. And now they're going back to the opposite end to like the way old but it's uh it's interesting to see how i mean your career is basically taken off listen you know how hard it is to be 21 years old you do yeah you know i was just thinking i could be your dad my daughter's birthday will be next week she'll be 24 years old i could be your dad you're 25 that's that's basically that my ball is older than you it's crazy how

what we're talking about we had some edible yeah we had some edible before the show guys just older people no it's crazy how hard it is to be 21 it's crazy how hard it is to be 25 because let me tell you're on a podcast you're making some cash blah blah blah blah

you're still scared what happens in 10 years the public radio, what do you think this is going to go away? Your experience is going to be very valuable. Somebody, some network is going to come call you and go, all for you to $300,000. You already know it. You already know it.

And you have a college background. You ain't going to show up and go, no, no, no, this is bullshit. It's not me. It's you, an intelligent. And I go, here's the statistics. We reach out to this demographic at this age. This is advertising dollars. How do I know?

Because we started from the grassroots. We were there from the grassroots when it was this, Twitter and Facebook. That's it. No phone, no fucking can with a string. Fuck you, cuck, sucker. That's all you need. So this is where I'm saying, there's always value in something.

It's not like we're selling drugs. It's not like you're doing something illegal. No, but you're selling yourself. Like, that's what I think it's been. And I think that's why some of them don't work. Listen, man, it's what the fuck you put into this. We're having a good time. Yeah.

That's all I want to do with this podcast at the end of the fucking day. It's just have a good time and let people know you can do whatever the fuck you want, especially on a Monday morning. You know why? Because it's Monday. You start all over again. That's it. You want to quit smoking.

You want to stop whacking off. You want to stop flucking. Who wants to stop whacking off? I don't know. People want to stop getting, you know. They want to stop going to Santa Monica and picking up a dude with a big fucking neck. Getting your fucking dick. I don't know.

Lee, what do I know? You know what I'm saying? I had a great time in Minneapolis. That's great. I was very, I fell in love with that Mall of America. I've been there before, Lee. And you know me. I hate fucking malls and all you.

I go to a mall. all the fucking time. Every time I go to a more, I think I'm going to get shot. I swear to God. I'm not even kidding you. And I was pissed at. This mall is beautiful.

You got to be in shape to be in this morning. I didn't see no fat people on carts. I even told the people on stage. This is a big time mall. Oh, yeah, it's like a little town, isn't it? It's a big time mall. This is a, this is real deal, holy fear.

You walk. You walk in that motherfucker jacket. They got everything in there. From Benny Hanna, the Tony Roma, to Brewberger's bagels, the fucking orange juice. Julius, they got everything.

You could die in there. You could die in there. They got every fucking movie. They got Legoville, Legoland. They got this fucking amusement park. Lee, tremendous. And tremendous. If you're single, fuck you.

It's not going to work out for you. But if you have kids, kids, and you have a wife, and you put away your money and you go there and you're on a budget, you don't get fucking room service. That's a nice place. That's a really nice place.

I felt really fucking good being there. And then never mind the club and the people at the club. The club is great. That's my second time there. And the guy who owns the joint is exactly what I love. He's an old-time Jew. Really? With a shiny suit.

You know, he's just a sharp guy, Rick Brons. I love him with all my eyes. He's going to open up another club. That's another chain with four fucking clubs. Comedy is booming again. People need fucking comedy. You know, it's amazing. How many comedy clubs are reopening.

I heard that Houston reopened. Another club opened up in Houston. It used to be old comedy showcase. So this is good for a guy. I love when I hear this shit. Yeah. So, you know, it's funny. I've been telling people this that I told you on the podcast,

every week I go somewhere, and cities are getting fucking prettier and pretty and prettier. Let me tell you something. You have no idea what cold weather is. No. You have no fucking idea with cold weather. That's why they need them all like that. Lee, you have no idea with cold weather.

I had to go outside to smoke reef I was gonna ask you yeah I'm as legit as a motherfucker It's my advice I gotta find the place to smoke it if I get caught Ksa-rah-s-rah-rah And it's not like I could smoke with a fucking cigarette When you smoke with a fucking cigarette

You get away with you, you got to join one hand The cigarette and the other If something happens you could stall them with the cigarette He'll look twice and you go hey how you doing officer Meanwhile you got to join the other hand tucked in your fucking jacket already You're prepared I'm a professional Or you gotta eat the fucking thing

Or you gotta be next to a six sewer strategically. So when they come, by the time they got out of their car, that motherfucker's in the sewer. Put the fishing pole in there. They're going to give me a ticket, whatever. What was it? I don't know. Take a look. Call CSI fucking Minneapolis. What do I go to fuck? So I had to go

outside. Let me tell you some of my... I rolled the joint skinny so I wouldn't be outside long. It'd be quick. It was so cold out that when my legs touched the jeans. Oh, that's the worst game. It was fucking cold that. That was Thursday morning. It was fucking freezing. I think Friday morning, it

warmed up. But Lee, I got to tell you, the hotel that Radisson fucking professional joint, the bartender Anthony, the fucking food, the soup, the chicken, loud, mushroom, rice soup, fucking out of this world. The chicken vegetable. You know, you're in the Midwest. And again, you taste the fucking eggs, and you could taste the fucking heart of the chicken and the yolk. You know, the egg whites stink like shit. They smell. You could smell the egg white. That's how

strong they fucking are. Fuck those egg wipes from Subway and McDonald's people, those fucking communist chicken egg wipes eat. That's cancer. That shit McDonald's is giving you. That's fucking cancer. You're fucking throat. You get a lump and shit. Somebody's going to stab you with a fucking bone hour.

Stop it, Joey. It's Monday. What the fuck? Cuck, sucker. So, seriously, that food up there, they have a salad, a flat salad with like three or four little pieces of this meat. I don't know what they call.

It's London Borough where I come from. Okay. Jesus Christ, Lee. Jesus fucking Christ. Jesus, you taste this meat, you chew it. You get taste, you know what I'm saying? It's just fucking tremendous. Yeah? It's a fat dude to paradise. And the women are banging up there.

Women are fucking tremendous. I'm telling you, I was never more impressed with this fucking mall and the family vibe. I walked, Lee. I fucking walked. You walk up and down the mall? I walked over. Every floor, every day. I looked. around, I'd seen what I could, you know, dig with and shit.

They got everything in there. Now, what would you have done 20 years ago in your robbery days? I wouldn't even have gone in there. I was in that hotel waking up from fucking cocaine. Really? You wouldn't have a case the whole, going over the whole weekend. I'm doing comedy. Those malls, you can't rob those malls. Really? Okay.

That's four floors. That's four floors later. Okay, that's no. I thought you were going to say, oh, I would have walked out of there with $10,000. No, you could go into the, you could go into the, Remember, things have changed in 20 fucking years. The cameras, something always hauntz me. 1985, I walk into a mall every day, and I walk around, and I keep seeing that the people in this one particular store

are 30 feet in the back, talking amongst themselves. And in the front, it was the beginning of CDs. Okay. Could have been CDs or DVDs. It was the beginning. Probably CDs. It was the very beginning of him. And every day I walked by and I saw the CD

and I saw the plug and I saw the box league. Every fucking day. And one day I woke up at 7 in the fucking morning a cold sweat. I wasn't doing blow. And I go, I'm going to go down to that mall today. And just out of principle, I'm going to go steal that fucking whatever the fuck it is.

Lead, you know, I went down there, walked into that mall at 2 in the afternoon. I walked up. they were by the counter back there. They didn't seemily. I unplugged the thing. I wrapped it a fucking thing. I put the thing in the box of the league.

I had cash in my pocket. So what I did was I picked it up and I walked to the side and laid it down and walked back like I was looking at something. And I waited and I wait and I made to make sure the old security side. I picked up the box

and walked out like I own the fucking joint. They looked like a regular guy that just paid for a fucking box. Who's going to stop you? Yeah. And I remember walking past there for years ago and I wondered, what the fuck they thought because guess what those guys put some else out there

and they were still standing in the fucking back so I never understood I never fucking understood security you can't do that today today that tape goes right to mall security more security calls the police they got your camera walking in they got the camera outside that seeks your car oh yeah probably they got the camera two blocks away that's watch is what direction you walk in So those days are over with. Especially there, you've got four floors, elevators, kids, people waiting. It's not like you've got a easy thing.

It's like you're going to walk in and out and get the fuck out of there. That's more of destruction. You try to hold up one of those stores. You're a fucking loser. Even if you tell them, don't touch nothing for an hour. By the time they hit the buzzer, you're still coming out of the fucking drivers. It's amazing. Now, what do you think of, like, let's say it was back then,

would you think about, okay, let's get a store within the first, five stores of the mall of the door. And you wouldn't think about that? No. I'm thinking, all right, I'm going to be close to the door. No, there's nothing you can do at those places. Oh, not now. I'm saying back when you were doing it. Oh, yeah, you could probably do it, but you know, at all, you had to see it.

You have to see it and make sure. You have to fucking case it. You got to go in there and buy shit. You just can't walk around like creepy loop. No, I, uh, I went through my little shoplifting face. You got to figure out that they don't know. they can't figure out somebody suspicious has been going in there.

Somebody's suspicious. Some little fucking chubby Jew guy in a Cuban dude come in every afternoon and ask questions about microphones. It's shit like that. Shit like that, you know? They look at the tapes.

I was always more into the safest shit that even if I got caught, I didn't get caught. What do you mean? I read this book by Zachary Swan called Snowblind. It was on the biggest. books I ever read in my life. I read it like in

1985. Okay. And it was about a drug dealer who perfected smuggling by smuggling, but not really. Like he'd get a teddy band thrown in a plane. A kid would pick it up and fly over and then before he'd leave. He'd go, thank you for

the teddy band and get off the plane. Just this brilliant shit. And then I followed up, I read on him. I remember when I moved to Boulder, I went to a library and I was intrigued by this guy. There was no internet. Yeah. There was no internet. You've got to go fucking go on this Dewey card catalog and put these little cards in this thing

and scan like old newspaper articles from his busts. That's how crazy. That's how much time I had in those days, but that's how much law I liked. You know how I always talk to you about your girlfriend and law? That's when I was intrigued by law. By reading all those type of fucking dumb things,

you know what I'm saying? Just so you know. It's good to know. Fuck. What's up, Lee? What the fuck? Green Hornets are fine. Look at you.

You're looking good. You got a green shirt on. Where's the music? You didn't put no moosey on tonight? What the fuck? It's Monday night. Light the candle. Get up, cock sucker.

Cut your toenails. Let's do this today. Shit. Put some honor in your fucking life. Get a hemp protein shake. Cut your toenails. Manicure your fingers. Cut your fucking eyebrows.

Hit it leak. What? Take out the pieces. Oh, shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. When somebody breaks your heart. Lee Sayat, boom, boom.

A.K.A. I forgot one. Oh shit. Not Mo Green. What's the other guy that Godfather? Oh my God. He said this week. I died. Who's the Jew and Godfather, too?

I don't know. How the fuck don't you know this? Look, Ramon's on the phone? No, no. Go online and look at the Jew. I'm going to Google Jew Godfather 2. Yeah. Let's see what happens.

Hyman Roth. That's you, AKA Hyman Roth and shit, the flying Jew. Your Hyman Roth of podcasting. Forget about it. I love it. You got to go to Israel?

You're going to try to give them a mill to fucking smuggle you and the fucking wife in. They're going to tell you, you're going to go to Panama from 2 mill. Then they're going to catch you at the airport with 300 million.

You know what you're going to go? What are you going to do? What are you going to do? What are you going to do? You're going to do your fucking money. Cocks, I would go to, like, Kansas if I had $300 million. And do what?

Not talk to anybody. Just have everything I want. Have, like, a little chef there. A chef? Fuck, yeah. A chick or a guy? What's your fantasy? Like, chef?

It doesn't matter. Paula's mom. I would just have part of that. What you got, like, like, a AKA slash bodyguard, masseuse driver, like Bruce Lee, like a Chinese guy. You don't need one in Kansas. You never know. What happens if somebody comes out of the bushes? You have 200 million into your fucking bed.

You need that, I can be? You pay a month's rent You put them in the back You give him three guns In a fucking bulletproof vest and a helmet He'd give him a refrigerator And he just let him loose And you let him fucking loot

He's like fucking Vietnam all over again Right in your house Paula's older brother Is taking me To the gun range To shoot 50 caliber pistols Apparently that's how we're meeting Oh Jesus Christ

So I might be dead In a few weeks You better start doing some push-ups. That's 50 Caliby. You're going to fly through the fucking air. Really? Sure. You better start doing some push-ups.

You better get Jeremy on the phone. Jeremy'sville. You better get him on the phone. I did. I tried to... Call them back, cucks up his tape. I ate so much today that I called a trainer on the way home. Tell him to bust out the fucking heart of me.

I call 20... I'm joining 24-hour fitness. And start some aspirin regime for your heart. Okay. Like get the baby aspirin to pop... Like one of them walking around the corner just to get your heart going. Stretch out your fingers. get blood going to your fingers

don't let Jeremy get a hold of you make you do some jumping jacks and some stamenca jacks and fucking some stretching what's the last time you stretched high school I don't know wrestling wrestling practice yeah

wrestling practice do you see what I got to deal with people you haven't stretched since wrestling practice in high school probably I mean I've done the stretches and bed and stuff but embedding yeah what type of stretches do you You're doing that. That's it?

Yeah. Oh, Jesus Christ. He better start with an aspirin regime and just get up in the mind like that like a circle like the Fourth of July and start with that cuck's like. Anyway, Minneapolis is very nice. I was very impressed. I was very fucking impressed this time.

Yeah, you liked it last time you went too. Yeah, no, no, no. You know what I like about Minneapolis else? The people. The people are very fucking warm. Some guy gave me some lollipops. Fucking cool motherfucker. You know, another dude gave me some rice, Krispy treats.

I put me over the top. The food was tremendous. The people really cool. The problem was the shows, there were too many people. The last time I was there, I was going in the parking lot and sparking up with the people. So when I left, they complained to the club. Really?

Yeah, if I come back, I can't go in between. So there was too many people there. So in between shows, I really couldn't go out. That's sense. So I couldn't go out to the second show towards the end. And they fucked me up because, you know, I want to talk to these poor fucking people. They come out in the snow. and shit.

Yeah. But Jesus Christ, Lee. It's Jeremy. His ears are burning, yeah. See, look, you know, he heard you on the fucking podcast. You see what happens? It goes down tonight. Fucking, by my next Sunday, Lee, you'll be doing jumping jacks and lifting weights and climbing

fucking walls like a... I actually like rock climbing. You should shave your head, you know that from a stretch. Get a gun. Fuck it. You should get a piece, Lee. What the fuck? I don't know.

Representing Israel. We got a picture of Israel. the president of Israel, the barrel. The whole fucking thing. Give yourself a yama got that holds bullets. Like a spinnet and you spin it around, the bullets pop out, and you catch it and fill the fucking gun. Forget about it.

You'll be your own type of fucking Jew. I think in 20 years you're going to have like a Yamika line. You're just going to have a bad. I love them. I love them. I just need some, I need a real fucking Jew to step up and go look. I got a half a mill coming out of Israel. Let's do this.

Coming out of Israel? Sure. It's coming out of deep pockets in Israel. This is the money they stole from the Romans. this shit. This money really got blood on it. This is good money. I love your history lesson there.

The Romans who took over Israel. I love it. I don't know. I'm just dropping knowledge. It's Sunday night. If you take whatever the fuck I'm saying for granted, go shoot yourself. I don't know.

Did the Romans take over Israel? Yeah, they took over Israel I mean, thousands of years ago, but yeah. That's how... See, I remember certain fucking things. It comes out. Jesus, that's what fucking burns me up alive, man. See?

Why? because that's what I'm up here eat one of these fucking things I just ate one What is this This has got to taste this thing This is a gluten-free

Galkin fucking taste Come in Hey, get this in the uncle jelly Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Jerry Rocha If you're here

Listen to this now I might not answer The Dora mom Keep the whole channel Fuck up Like a soul joy It's Sunday night Oh fuck

It's yummy Yeah A yummy from my tummy Oh yummy How you know how I learn Spanish How do I learn Spanish If you wouldn't teach somebody Spanish For you

20, 50 an hour I'm not asking the price Because you're going through it with mercy now It's a little bit different because she's a baby Right they absorb everything And they make it the same thing I wanted to come back or you let him you got to talk it that's my easiest thing with that listen anything you want to do you could sit there and I mean yes if you

want to speed up your acceleration of learning of the language you get a notebook and you take notes and you start with the alphabet you know that shit but mainly you talk it you go to somebody you go do me a favor from now on every time you see me hit me with Spanish and It's amazing how I understand the topic of conversation. Jesus Christ, I understand the topic of conversations now, but I would never know how to talk it.

Just, you know, start watching Spanish television for an hour a day. Okay. And watch, just listen. Listening is everything. That's why they gave us fucking ears. We just don't want to use it. Listening is fucking beautiful. So you listen, you listen, you listen.

And it's fucking hard. I mean, I've sat there and thought about learning something. I'm doing my Japanese at this age. I don't have the time, because I know what effort it takes to accelerate. I think you'd be good at it because, like, how important is it for you to know Spanish? Is it big? Yes. What is it done for you?

It's kept me sharp in a lot of ways. It's made me think, my Spanish is horrible, but it's still alive, and that's all that matters. It's still alive in my heart. It comes out a certain way. It comes out when I need it to come out. Do you understand me? My Spanish is still fucking good, but I'm still. I don't talk like I used to with the people I used to.

That's been 30 fucking years ago since the people I grew up with that talk that way. I talk a very street Cuban Spanish, a very slang. My uncle speaks it. A couple of us speaking. That's what Paula said. Paula and her mom watched you on the show. And she was like, oh, he's, every time Paula brings you up, she goes, Cognon.

Cognon. Yeah, no, no, no, no, little lady. It's terrible. It's horrendously bad, our Spanish. It's mixed with a New York accent. which really drops it on you. So it's just, listen, man, I think that if you are in a home

and one of your parents speaks a different language, I think you should torture them a little bit to learn why you have them. I would. They'd be happy. They'd be very happy to teach you two words a week. A fucking recipe, a certain recipe you like in Spanish

is always a good fucking thing just in case you, you know, you fuck on the desert island. At least you know how to make a burrito. You can ask for whatever. You know what I'm saying? I mean, there's so many different ways to learn a language if you really want to learn that language.

But you have to commit a big window. I'm telling you that a great way of jujitsu, it's great to go to an accelerator program from the teacher how to do an armabber. But the best way to learn jujitsu, which I don't really have the time too fully, is to go down there four times a week and get beat up four times a week.

You know, and then after the first. six months, you're going to start getting beat up three nights a week. And then after a year, you're going to start getting beat up two nights a week. But now you're winning two nights a week. And then it becomes something, and now there you are. And that's with anything. That's what fucking anything. I've seen it with the acting and stupid shit.

I've seen it with stupid shit. I sit there on a, guys, I sit there on a fucking set sometimes. I look who's in a movie or? And I sit there and I go, who the fucking am I to be here? How the fuck? I know people who go, I went to New York. and studied with Johnny bananas and got a degree in acting.

And they're fucking in LA at some fucking Starbucks with three other fucking guys talking about putting a movie together and getting funding. And here's a MOOC like me on the set, you know what I'm saying?

Because I just went out there and tackled it. I said, I wanted to do this. Why live in Los Angeles if you're not going to get this a try? Nobody's going to get me a hosting job. Look at my face. You mean a TV hosting job? Yeah.

You wouldn't want to host a game show? But let's pretend. No. What would you give me the host? A horror show, a history, people who got stabbed? No, I think you could be, I think FX or HBO, you could be the lead of a show. Let it go. Anyway, I just felt that if you're here, I'm part of the union, I should get some insurance,

I should get a little pension out of this fucking deal. And that's why I act. And if somebody throws me a little something from time to time, and I earn a few from time to time, bang, I'll put something to fucking gather. Yeah. I mean, somebody threw me something. I already got something out of the way for the year. Bang.

Everything else in ours gravy. The first one's in it ready. That's the first one will break. I know I could pop something. Pilot season's coming. I know I'll pop something in March to shoot for a week or two. Okay. You know, that's my attitude and boom.

It's over. Now you got something to live for it until June. Now June, you'll tell you the show gets picked up or you go suck dick again for fucking another year. That's it. That's it. This is the same shit, though. But at least you're alive.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Do you follow my philosophy of your life? What are you going to do at home? Go home, go to the bar and tell you your friends, yeah, it sucks out there. They're a bunch of fucking fags. No. They're out here fucking yoking and doking. This is just a different fucking yoke and doken.

It's a little tough now because half the business went to New Orleans. So a little one that's here, you got to fucking jump in it when they give you a little something. Yeah. You know what the fuck? It's Monday night. Stop coughing, cocksucker. No more reefer for you. Look at you.

Oh, man. Jeez, and you're lucky. You want some of my house. I'm so high-low. Listen, I got the shit. I smoked this with a Hindu, it's fucking duck. Popped! Fucking boy, it was sweating.

I got some good ass, Doug. I couldn't even smoke in the house no more. Why? It was tremendously strong. One night I got up in the middle of night, and I went out in front, I smoked it. The next day I could smell in the living room. Oh my God.

It creeped under the fucking door from the outside. That's how strong I was. It was like a fucking hash spirit. It didn't matter what you live. I'm fucked up. How can you be fucked up? How can I be fucked up? One hit or three for two hits, maybe.

I didn't even see the smoke. It wasn't the fucking edible. What edible? The Green Hornet. All right, I'm watching. You want another piece of chocolate? No, thank you. Was it delicious?

Yeah, it was good. gluten-free? Was it an edible too or just a cookie? I'm not sure. I was an edible. But I like crunchy cookies. That's my jam. That's your jam?

Oh, yeah. So what do you want to do with you? Jeremy, talk to me. What are your plans? What I'd really like to do? I mean, I've never talked to him, but I mean, you said he wanted to do YouTube videos. I think it would be great to do YouTube videos and then not that I'm... Oh, we have a

call coming in. I'll answer that later. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. It's Sal. Genoa. What's going on, Joey? You know me. Over here on a Sunday night with the flying Jew aka Hyman Rock,

Jr. Hey, Sal. What's going on, son? How are you doing, brother? Fantastic. You know, I'm glad I could call in. You know, Lee got that girlfriend, right? So I might be able to get him some help today.

What's going on? He's got a new girlfriend now. He's not. He might need some tips for me because I'm a professional. He don't need no fucking tips from me. He's doing... I'll take the tips. Leave Lee alone.

Lee's a fucking soldier. He's doing... I have a not. I'll take all the tips I can get. He won't listen. I've seen a lot, Lee. She still won't let him fart in his face, right? He still won't take the...

Listen, if fucking the hottest chick in the world came out here right now with a fart and Lee's eyeball, he would melt. He wouldn't do it, so there's nothing you could do. So you work with porn girls. There's like eight porn girls in the world to even think about farts. Sal Genoa, how fast can you make a phone call and have a chick fart and Lee's eyeball with his mouth open? Honestly, honestly probably like a minute. That's what I'm saying. We started off at such a good point, Sal.

I thought we were friends. We are. Everybody's friendly. Everybody's trying to help out. No, I heard a third party validated, Joey. I heard him say he wanted to do it that day. We had coffee. I remember that.

No, he was in. He was down 100%. I'm in at this point because it's been a year and a half. But every time Joey brings up, all the girls hide in the shows, they'll hide under the table. Would you take it on the mouth or in the eyeball? What would be the best thing? I'd rather the eyeball. All right.

See, at least you got a commitment here. Do you only know, I can line to people up. I know we can't. We got to line up, but I want to do a pay-per-view, you know, the whole thing. People get stabbed, some chick bleeding, the whole fucking deal. She's going to part of the heart you bleeds? Yeah, like a band. The whole fucking deal.

And then, boom, Lysayat sits down. Remember in the 70s, the guy from Master Square Garden at the end of the wild world of sports, he gets shot in the mouth. He gets shot, and he caught the fucking bullet with his teeth through the glass. Go on YouTube. When we were kids, we saw him first. He came up on the scene like maybe 1970 at Madison Square Garden. Me and like three other dudes seen him.

We thought it was bullshit. I went home and told my mother, she was like, fuck that dude. That was bullshit. Because at the end, he would spit the bullet out in a frying pan. He would catch the bullet right out of the air with a metal mouthpiece, and he would put a glass in front of him. Some guy would shoot him with a 22. Then years later, then years later, he went on Wild World of Sports

and everybody froze. I already know that shit was old news. But that's the effect that I told Lee. Like it starts off with like a, like Pearl Jam and all this shit. And then Lisa, we're on location here

in a dark room and fucking Israel. You know, and then they show the chick doing jumping jacks, eating fucking rice crisps. You know, we talk about her menu, how she hasn't shit. She's been living on cream and cheese and chees. Do we want to know who the girl is? Or do you want to surprise that?

Please don't. No, that's surprise them. Let's give them two choices. Let's give them a really hot one, and let's give them one that's just banging, but she's like six with three, two-80. You know what I'm saying? Okay, no, I can pull that out.

That's easy. I don't even want to see her face. I can't even look her in the eyes. Yes, you can. That would be the most. What the fuck? But listen, you're going to make 50 G's first shot in. Who's better than you?

I'll be spending 49.5 on... Who's fucking better than you? What's therapy? What are you going to tell the therapy? That somebody's fart in your eye? What the... Remember man, we had a girlfriend of my right. No, Lee, listen, look at the Kardashians,

making millions on sucking a dick. Hey, you know what I'll do, Joey? I'm the porn director podcast. What I'll do is I'll start asking the girls that are guests if they would like to do it, and I'll make it happen through the podcast. And we'll do it like a Christmas show, like the Fourth of July extravaganza.

We'll give it, like, flat. I'll ask every guest that comes on the porn director podcast, I'll ask her if she, what would be interesting to do this, I'll have a picture, a framed picture, the Lee up there and we'll go from there. TV. You know, I love just, the thing is, listen, every Tuesday I go to acupuncture.

And it's part of it to get healthy for my circulation, but the other part is my fear of needles. And I've gotten really good with the needles the last two years. Lee has a fear of asshole. I do. And I want him to get over this fear. It's nothing. Yeah, he takes it personal.

He's never really gotten in there with his fucking Montguar. Oh, no. And sniffed it. Like, just fucking inhale it. You could smell the gunpowder. You know, today on the plane, I was sitting there, right? And I could smell somebody's asshole. That's how good I am.

I kept sitting there, and it got in one of my nostrils. Even on the drive home, I could smell that asshole, my fucking nostrils. Wow. That's a rare fucking... So talk to me, Sal General. What's been going on in your life? What the last few films you've been fucking involved with? Hit me.

All right, well, I always like to keep you posted. I just finished up Peace from the Middle East. Which one? peace from the Middle East. All right. ECE. Yeah, it's from Combat Zone. That was, that was epic.

And I just finished, naughty cheerleaders number four. I'm editing that as we speak. That's for Combat Zone as well. And just the Foreign Director podcast. So the world is treating me well. I got a job I love going to. I like looking at assholes unlikely.

And it's been good. The podcast has taken off really well. I love to have you on that one day. Did you have the guys sticking in some hummus before I eat a little sucked it? Because Joey, I think, I think Joey would have a heart attack. Please, if you didn't do it, please go shoot it. I'll pay for the shooting.

Why don't you just trade? I want you to, for a piece in the Middle East, I want you to have the guy stick his thing in some hummus and have the girls suck it off. That's not a bad idea, Doug. That's fucking brilliant. If you didn't do that, you're slipping. No, well, I didn't.

It was a great movie. All Middle East and girls, they were all awesome. shot it out in the hills to kind of mimic the Middle East. If I was a... If I was a porn director on Peace in the Middle East, I would fucking lead it up to the end. Some fucking chick takes one of those fucking chicks by machine gun, smacks her around a little bit, sits it down.

Then he handcuffs her, and also he starts giving it like nacho chips, those fucking Arab nacho chips. Right? He starts getting those hummus chips, whatever. Then he gives her hummus. and then she gives him like a look she takes her turban off and she takes his pants

and rips him off, rips that Arabian asshole apart, puts his leg up like a happy baby for a man and packs his asshole in his back of his ball sack with that hummus and just eats it like a fucking like a chick. I'm telling you, that's how I would end peace in the Middle East with an asshole hummus

and then here it is after she sucks the hummus out of his asshole. She makes out with him and she shoots a lobe. Joey, I'm down for a co-director credit. If you want to do peace for the Middle East number two. No, no, no, no. I'll just email you the ideas.

Listen, I'll just email you the ideas, all right. All right. I'm looking at, you know, if you want to step up and... From the age of... From the age of 18 to maybe 26, you could have involved me in one of those shoots, maybe in the... night when I was coked up and I go in the corner and whack off.

That's how crazy that was in those days. But now at this point, I would just have a heart attack right on the sets. Sal General, I would never do that to you. If I saw something, you never. I'm all about it. If you want to give you all the ideas, I will. I'm going to tell you how bad I am, Sal General. I have friends that are in the porn industry and I will not watch their stuff.

Just so I never have to go there with them. When I see them again, I don't have to feel fucking bad. I have to see them again. I just leave it like that. I don't know who is what. I don't even know them if they bump into me. Right, right. You have great ideas.

I'm the one to use all those ideas. And one day somebody can't. People have come up to me and said, hi, I've done Red Band's podcast, and I've heard your name. I just want to say, and I can't believe they're really porn girls. Yeah, it's hard to believe sometimes.

It really is. I'll go home and call Red Band and go, Red Band and your friend. He goes, yeah, that girl does anal with beads and her ass. And I go, what the fuck she was there with a kid? Oh, yeah. like nine kids, but she was the president of PTA, but on the weekend she shoots porn in Arabia,

and they put galoshes in her fucking face. No, you know, listen. Yeah, I see, I see it all. I've been doing it's 10 years now, and I see, you know, you're like, how you're just too beautiful for porn, but, you know, the money's great, and if you have a sexual ally,

you're comfortable with your sexuality, it's a good day, it's worth of work. Hey, listen, I'm like Vito Collione. I don't give a fuck what a man does for a living. As long as you fucking put food in the table, nobody could judge you. I don't give a fuck. It's a business. Listen, if I'm fucking 19, what are my options as a hot chick?

I could get fucked in the ass by a fake producer, some Arab that's going to give you fucking chlamydia and take you to some island and sell you to your friends. Or you can work at a hamburger joint and make $600 a week if you're lucky or a hostess chick and date some fucking guy and that's your savior. Or you go, you know what am I going to do? I got no family. I ain't going to embarrass nobody. I'll move to studio.

city, drink coffee up into fucking Ventura and suck dick on whatever and make $3,000, $4,000 a week for fucking three years while they're hot. They could take that money, you know, gain 20 pounds and buy a fucking farm and nobody knows who the fuck they are. Every three years, somebody will go,

I think you remind me of somebody. And that's it. Right, right. I hear those stories all the time. Yeah, it's true, though, yeah. They'll... You got nothing going on. You're going to get abused anyway at those ages. From 21 to 25, a woman out here gets pissed on, lied to

fakes, you got to suck casting director dick. You're going to suck a thousand dicks anyway. You might as well get paid a thousand of dick. You might as well get paid a thousand of dick by some good mouthwash and go see a doctor and fucking... Seriously, I mean, I don't... A dog, I would never, ever... But I'm saying, what the fuck?

You know what? I did things I didn't want to fucking do. Genoa, growing up in Jersey. I did things that fucking flag. I got to look at myself in the mirror. I'd like, giggle, but it's not right. It's not fucking right. It's not right.

And you know what? I had a way to fucking make it out of that, but I saw the easy way. But I also saw how easier it could have got for me. And right now we wouldn't have been having this conversation. Correct. With the right guidance, a white chick, with a good head on her shoulders

that wants to suck dick and go to the gym and get her shots. and maybe not have a boyfriend on the side so there's no drama and just make money. Nothing wrong with that, bro. And sometimes, what are your fucking options? You're going to get abused anyway. 50% you're going to get cheated on the brother. He's going to steal your car and ruin your credit.

There's always drama. Yeah, I've seen a lot of that as well. And how can a girl cheat on you? If it's your girlfriend, she does it every day at work, right? Why does she do it outside of work? You know, it's a beautiful thing. Well, the smart ones, no. But looker, bro, 10 years ago,

we thought Jenna Jameson was a genius. Right. Ten years ago, the big thing on this, I remember seeing her in Tempe, Arizona, walking around, people fucking throwing roses on her feet. She just got $8 million from some company. Then two weeks ago, I see her on Facebook. Her face looks like I got hit with a sledgehammer.

She doesn't know what room she's in, which is a fucking shame. I'm not making fun of me, but you know what? At the end, there's always a fucking price to pay. Yeah. At the end, Doug, Listen, you know what? You want to fuck around?

You're going to pay the fucking pipe or somewhere along the line. And the devil's standing right there, giggling. Yeah, a lot of these multi-million dollar companies aren't around anymore because of the internet, and I see a lot of my old bosses just, that's it. They downsize the next to nothing. They're not doing anything anymore.

Like you said, there's a price to pay no matter what you do. So these guys aren't, it's not a business way it used to be. And it's sad sometimes. I was like, man, there was a heyday where we're all having fun, but now we're just, the money's not there as much because the internet, so we're just creating fun stuff and like to make fun things and have good friends, and that's about it. No one's really getting too crazy rich anymore.

No, you've got to tell people it's like a sag low budget. Look, and here's the deal. You're going to suck back for a hundred a day. You might have to take it in the ass. We might be able to get your overtime, maybe a ride to and throw your house, all right? In case you get too fucked up. We'll come up with a G-bow or Coke. I don't know how good's going to be.

You come out of my friend's apartment. You blow this guy, this guy, and look, at the end, whatever we make, you make. That's basically what it's going to go down to again. We make $100,000 on YouTube. We give you fucking 8% or whatever it is every quarter or something like that. And you have to do 10 of those just to get your fucking income going every month. Who knows?

Who knows where it's going to go? You get it. You see the world in a beautiful place, Joey. I love it. You have a great outlook on everything. Well, you got to, listen, man, if things are going to change, why stop doing it? You have to change and look at your profit margins and make your profit margins adjust. And there's always market on the internet for everything.

You know, it's bigger than television. It's bigger than television. You don't need a lot of fucking money, Sal Genoa. You don't need a lot of money. You buy yourself that thing from goaddy.com, sucking dick on fire.com. And every week you put a new business. fucking video on there, right? And now, remember 10 years ago, you had

to get the video and copyright? No, no, no, no, no, no. You're going to shoot the videos in the house. And again, what do you need? You got an office in the valley for $700 a month. You get some good fucking shades. You got a camera, a couch, some curtains, and a picture in New York City that switches around. Next week,

it's Paris, France. The week after that, it's fucking Venice Beach, you know what I'm saying? And you get the chicken there, and that's it. It's all in-house. So it costs you $1,200 to shoot the fucking movie if that if that with the editing you give the chicken nickel and tell her the same thing you put on the internet and you you go on google and you i don't know people buy those first search engines don't you where you google something and your name comes up first yeah yeah i can buy all that

shit and now you got facebook and you know it's amazing what you could do from the privacy of your own home now if you have commitment and you're willing to sit there and go this ain't gonna fail it's cost to me it's why it'll be easy for lee to do this now and that's why it'll be easy for lee to do this now us you know what I'm saying because I'm looking at him next movie so well I mean it's crazy I I've never been to a set but I would imagine back in the in the 90s and early 2000s you probably had a big crews now and and then the biggest stuff now the biggest stuff now is a guy with a video camera he's the he's the he's the crew he just gets to get his dick sucked and I mean that sounds like a great job to me I don't know absolutely I don't know if that's what you're

coming down on my next one Lee you're more than welcome I'm inviting you now publicly come down, you're invited. And yeah, I started in the 99, and I used to have lighting, fruit, catering, peeve, now I have nothing. Now I have nothing. I do all. Now you got a protein shake and a handshake, bitch. That's it.

Enjoy that fucking protein. It's got a glutecore in it. That'll make the muscles in your mouth tight. Well, I mean... Science, anyway. So what did you do before this, Sal? Because you said he'd been doing this for 10 years. Yeah.

So, like, were you in, like, regular TV stuff? I was a person training. Okay. And I met a guy, a two-person training, he said, please come down and watch what I do. And I said, I can't believe you do this. She's awesome. I had a girl sit on my last name is Cassidy. She's still around.

She's a vivid girl. She starts, like, rubbing me. I'm like, this is awesome. They said, well, check it out. Tomorrow, show up. You can be production assistant. Then you can hand out baby wipes or whatever. And I'm like, this is great.

I will pay you $100 a day. And I was like, this is awesome. So I did that for a while. I did it for Bivid, which is great. You get all the Bid contract, girl. That was fun. And then I got a behind-the-scenes camera job, which was cool. I used to be another job and learned how to use a camera and shoot all the funny interviews.

And then one day they're like, look, I'm jumping in the scene. This girl's tits are big. I want a banger. You got to shoot the scene. I'm like, okay, so I have remembered from sitting and editing what it was like. So I just shot, and that was it. And then from there on, I'm like 75th movie now. It's a movie title.

So I got 75 movies. to my name, which is pretty cool. That's great. How many movies? 75. Fucking Sal Genoa. Representing what part of Jersey? The shore, my friend.

God damn it. Look at them. Break township, you bad motherfucker. Let me tell you something. Just to tell you, motherfucker, something that I never dropped on the church or what's happening now or nothing, because you just refreshed my memory.

One of my first jobs in this town when I lived with Doug Stanhope for four days was on the Vivid Warehouse. on Highland This is 1997 On Highland where the hotel is now Where that Hulupe is there

That used to be a disgusting building That was my old agent First was But across the street there Vivid was back there And you got a desk You got a desk with a bunch of Fucking phone numbers

Of porn joints All across the country And you just call them And go hi this is Pete Patelo From fucking Vivid I'm running a special I'm fucking jerk off movies free shipping

and they give you like 80 bucks a day cash and I won the contest twice but it was just too disgusting for me it was just it was just you did that in 97 because I started there in 99 that's funny I just missed you there you go there you go

that's some fucking old school for you motherfuckers thanks to Sal General bringing me back at second only second anyway don't worry about it so like what do you like what do you think about that Sal like when I first came out here I was broke I thought about

about um porn on the side. And I had someone come up to me and say, listen, even if you don't put it on your resume, they'll find it, and it's a career killer. Like, what do you say? I mean, because in theory, it would be, like, a great way to learn the industry, rather than go to film school,

working porn for four years, and then just don't tell anybody. Right, right. Yeah, it's weird thing. Mainstream, sometimes they get mad. I mean, you look at Sasha Gray. She's crossed over. You look at James Dean. He's crossed over. It's okay now.

It's way more acceptable. than it was 14 years ago. Because if you're legitimately good, I mean, Sasha Gray's the Soderberg movie. You don't just do that if you're some hack porn chick. So obviously, she has some talent. And now I think they're less lenient, but I know they still frown upon it. But what about, what about, from your side, what about it on the production side? Like, if you wanted to go and say, listen, I've shot 75 pornos, I want to direct, I want to direct a commercial.

Well, and Gregory Dark, who's a great friend of mine, he, he, went from porno to doing the Britney Spears music video, Lincoln Park. Then an interview came out, I believe, and they said, oh, he used to do a adult, and he got fired off the job. So he tried to cross over and had some problems, too. Now I think it's not so bad. I do the video, too. The people I do them for, they're cool with it.

It's just finding the right people, and, you know, you're either going to run into a problem more, you'll be okay. So, I mean, looking at great, he had such an illustrious music video career, and he was, you know, he was an old school porn guy in the Hall of Fame. So, either way, I just finished a music video and they loved it. I was kind of funny. It's cool. It's the personality.

It doesn't mean I do it. I'm a completely flying ball and I'm professional. You know what I mean? So you find a good group and, you know, you'll be okay, but yeah. I don't know, man. I don't know if it's because I'm a video nerd or what, but if the porn video quality isn't good or if the sound guy messed up, I'll stop

watching it. Just because there's so much to watch now. You won't jerk off the bad video if the pussy's fuzzy. Stop it. You'll fucking beat that little dude dick to death. No, if it's funny, if it's fuzzy, I don't like it. If the camera guy is shaking, I don't like that. I like that

fucking look like that. I like that look like it's real. I don't want that look like it's fake and she's sucking the dick and she's sucking the dick correctly. When you get your dick sucking the bathroom, She don't take down. She rips your fucking pants off. She doesn't wash your dick.

She just snips that helmet and pops it. And then you pull it out. You know what I'm saying? I want that effect. I don't mind. I like amateur stuff too, but it's like when it's in one... Amateur stuff?

Yeah. The worst... You're a filthy little motherfucker. The worst, though... You know where I went this week? We went to a sex store last night or two nights ago. Jesus Christ, Lee. I don't want to talk about...

Well, why don't you call me? I get you whatever you need. I got an access of... I'm limited stuff where it's good quality professionally shot, I can guarantee you. I don't know what you're watching from, especially from the 70s. Oh, no. Don't encourage him, please.

We got fucking encourage him. We got toys. We didn't get, we didn't buy them. Lee, knock it off with that shit. You know what I'm saying? Can you believe this fucking? He's coming down, Joe. He's coming down. 25 years old. She turned them out and shit.

Yeah. She turned to my. I'm going to make me a star. You still don't like a finger in your ass, Lee? Oh, I would pass out. No. You still won't take a finger in the ass? I don't want a girl to sniff behind there.

No. Not the sniff. Just to, lick your ball sack and machine gun your muffler lightly lightly that's the worst possible

no and she takes you with her tongue and she's whacking your dick off she just machine guns your little muffler and she just goes oh my god it's a party right there you got a couple lines of oh my god you got a couple lines of cocaine

and your dick just explodes like a dairy queen and she licks that fucking you-you-juice right off her hand and your leg? Oh, it's a fucking party. You just lay this. How do you do that with someone you see later?

Like, they don't have to leave the house. I'd close my eyes. Yeah, you pass out for an hour, and you wake up and give them a stabbing before they wake up. No, you can't ever look at them again. Listen, they ain't going to the way. You got the bag of Coke under the bed. You got the bag of coke under your pillow.

They ain't going to go in the house. I can never imagine kissing somebody after they lick my asshole. Why not? That's the whole bet. It's so just drank champagne. I'm almost ready to a bunch of the film called machine gunning musklers. I like that. I'm telling you.

And Lee Syed is the spokesman. He comes out first. How you doing? Do you suffer from anal cabaretsies? Come down to my office. Flying Jew productions. Machine gun and mufflers. I'm all over that. Machine gun.

I'm telling you, dog, listen, I could fucking make you a millionaire in three fucking months. Because unlike Lee, there's a thousand guys out there that for three, four dollars, they'll fuck for whack off. No whack off. And what you do is porn or the month club, just like Dollar Shave Club. You sign them up for $6 a month and you send them 19 videos

and they whack off and they vote and you send them T-shirts and they can spend a month with some chick in their mind and you send a fat chick that looks like me. You know what I'm saying? There's always a fucking curveball in those contests. Your cousin won mysteriously in Rome. Right.

Sal, gentlemen, the fucking house. As a guy who likes porn, are those casting couch ones where they say, Oh, I met this girl on the phone and she's coming over. And I told her there's a porn job, but there's no job. There's no way that's legal, right? Well, no, everything's legal, sir. We wouldn't pick up the camera and turn it on.

Everybody finds a model release. You have to do your ID photos, have to do video disclaimers. That's what I'm saying. So it's legal, but it's not really a girl off the street. It's a girl who wanted to do porn. I don't want to ruin your fantasy, way. I'll let you think what you want to think. But I'll let everyone in the world know that everything we do.

It's illegal. You can't. It's regulations. But you've lit out your fantasy service and realize she's off the street, okay? Listen, Lee had a girl that lived on his couch for three months, and that was the perfect freak. He should have said her like a spider. He should have put, like, four cameras in his living room, and then giving her some wine.

He should have gave it, like, a half of Valium. She would have passed out. And, like, three in the morning where they creeped out there with a robe on, and laid on the floor and just massized their ass, then spanked a few times, then lift the little thing up. and then you would have massaged her ass on the camera automatically comes on and from there you just go to work you fucking get on like a you get on like a

behind the hip escape and you lick that oh forget it you can make your own videos the chick when she wake up in the morning forget him he didn't know he didn't know what he could have been a millionaire right now she could have fought in your face while she was sleeping nobody's ever done that wow if you want to come down for some girl girl boy girl what do you want to watch I don't know I mean that I can't even imagine what that experience

would be like for now because she would kill me but even before that I've seen so much of it I used to get star-struck I'd get the like I don't know how I would say

how to a girl that I've seen do oh my God I can't even imagine wow who's your favorite all time of porn yeah porn star

or just like what do you mean well who like what girl does you like watch her the most I like that Gianna girl Gianna She's a little chubby With big tits

Yeah I like her Yeah yeah I shot her a long ass time ago Like probably eight or nine years ago She's still around right I think I mean I don't know how That's the thing with the free websites You never know how old or new they are

But yeah The South General are dropping names This shit No I really I'd like to rehire her again for you Make it an epic day for you Oh Jesus Christ

I can't She's scary She like attacks them And it's uh I don't know. They have all those videos of porn stars going out in cars and picking up random dudes. You want to do it?

Oh, God, no. I'll bring you to get tested and everything. Would you do that, Lee? If a chick picked you up, you were walking to your car and three chicks came out with a gun and turns you to get in the fucking car. I don't know if you got you in there and they made you fart and finger you and suck you fucking dry

right there around the corner. It sounds great, but I don't know. And all the videos that all the guys can't get it up. And that's the end. And here it is at the end. They just throw you out of the car naked. That's what they do, yeah. And you got to, naked with nothing, not a dime, not a shoe, no keys.

Jesus Christ. I mean, I don't know. You got to walk back into your building naked over here. You know, the keys, so you have to not. I think 2014 is your yearly. I think you step up. You make a nice adult movie. You know, the podcast is successful for you.

I think this is your breakout year. Don't you think, Joey, let's get them out there and show them the world over there. What about that house these days? all the time and girl took her all that food I can't take them I can't incurris the pornography though that shit ruined me

when I was younger that's why I don't do that shit no more I stopped I still watch it it just I can never I can never imagine going on a porn set I'm way too shy

I'm way too shy I don't know I went to peep shows and I was young and shit listen that's a that's a documentary we've got to shoot South General

we gotta go to New York and shoot and I'll take you to all those little peep shows that were published They're still there probably. Wow, that's great. Where you'd walk in there, and there'd be people fucking,

and people paying a dollar a minute, and then you'd see him coming out of there walking funny, and the janitor would go in and lick up the fucking cum with the bucket. Then he'd come out. But the internet ruined all that. What a great time that was, I think. When you're 15, you go in there with a fucking roll of quarters, you're in heaven.

You save up all week to go to that fucking hell. It smells like hell. I could still, I can't still smell it. But in my mind, every time I think about going in there and the color that it was, it wasn't dark, it was like a dark orange. Right. The air in there.

It was just a disgusting place as a kid, and just the thought that they allowed you in there. They didn't give a fuck. You were walking around there with perverts and child molesters. We'd go in there and packs from New Jersey. We'd take a bus over the fucking tunnel. I was with you. I did the same thing.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You take a tunnel in there and then walk around, and we fucking argue with the fucking three card Monty guys it was just a it was a fucking glorious time and it really wasn't the the booths were eating in the booth when you're in there looking at you

like what the fuck are you looking at I'm busy in here you know what I mean I remember one night for some reason a couple of my buddies were like now we're going to go watch a porn theater out there like Leonia somewhere on a Sunday night in the middle of the winter these fucking jack-laws

they were good friends of mine and they picked me up And I'm like, so what do you want to do? You go to Joan Marries? You come with us. We'll be up at Joan Marries about 11. And we'll meet you. And I go, no, I'll go with you.

I thought they were like putting me on. My friends were always into going somewhere. Then when we got to, he go, you don't really want to go in there. Now, fuck, let's go to Joan Marys. It was a lot more fun to us being in our neighborhood. Well, there's one time we go out to this movie theater on a Sunday night. And we go in there and we sit, not together, like spread out. And it's a thousand perverts.

It's like the happy hour night. And I remember. going to get popcorn. Then it came to me, like when I went to pee. I went to pee. There was two times in my life where I went to the bathroom twice, and the same guy was pissing next to me at the store. And he wasn't in there at first. It's when you take your dick out and go to piss.

He just pop out like a film character, and he'd be lurking over your fucking shoulder. One time in the San Francisco airport, and one time fucking at that fucking house of horror porno on Sunday night in middle of New Jersey. I swear to God. And I remember we went home, and I'm like, That was the most disgusting fucking thing at that time. I felt humiliated as a man. I was like, I'm done.

I'm fucking done. It's disgust, those shit. I can't imagine. I mean, I love porn. You never been to a theater to watch pornily? You don't need it now. No, no, no. Have you ever been to a movie theater to watch porn again?

In the afternoon you get bored. No, at the sex store near my house, they still have the little booze. You can go and play the DVDs there. I mean, it's just, it's crazy now. Even the big porn companies now own the free sites. So at least they get ad money on it. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. It would be in a theater. I mean, that would be amazing. See whatever happens in the crowd or refract or whatever. But to see it up on a big screen, I would love it. And I only know of one place now that does that in West Hollywood, but I don't shoot those movies. I can't imagine masturbating in front of, like, 30 other guys in a movie theater. I can't imagine sitting there.

Yeah, for decades. Decades, people used to do that. They wear the raincoats and go in there. Oh, God. I can't imagine sitting there and not masturbate. Like, at one point, after smelling all that shit, you know what I'm saying? Because after a while, 30 guys banging out. Yeah, after a while, I mean, I think it's, no, no, no, no, no.

I don't get it. And I went to one with that one and maybe one other one, maybe I can't come. It's not coming in clear. But I remember that one in Middle New Jersey. I thought this is horrendously bad. Wow, shot on film and shown in theaters. I only wish I could go back to those times. That'd be awesome

Did you go to the AVNs This past a couple of weeks ago? Yeah, actually I did it It's not what it used to be It's a lot smaller There's only maybe three or four Real big companies Where there used to be like

18 big companies But it's cool But still, you know If you're a fan And you love to go The girls are there They're signing Where they're around

Or they go on the award show I walk the red carpet And everything here It was okay But You walk the red carpet Sal General? Yeah

Look at you, you bad motherfucker I knew I should get you on the pie. You were fucking talented dude. I didn't have any nominations this year. I just returned back in the industry again. I took a little hiatus, which is always good to refresh. And it was cool. It was fun to see my old friends there,

and people still doing same stuff. People getting inducted as a Hall of Fame. The guy that got meat started in the industry got inducted to the Hall of Fame, so that was kind of cool. But it's a big show. You're a point I would definitely go there. It's all on the pricey side. But if you want to go, be around the girls,

and you're scared of death. But us normal people, that want to be around the girls. It's a good place to go. And it's every year in January, somewhere in Vegas. That's so interesting. You want to go next year, me? I got you.

Sure, I'll go to the AVNs. That would be, I can't imagine. When you come back with spots on your arm, don't come crying to me. Spots on the arm. That's right. You come back scratching and shit, don't be touching the fucking machinery. Without gloves on and shit, you filthy fuck. Don't be taking lead in none of those places, please.

I got an insurer. I got your consideration first, sir, then I'll bring them where. Yeah, I got an insurance policy with Lee with the Lloyd's of London. You know what I'm saying? Lee's a special fucking type of Jew. He requires a special type of insurance, and I can't. The premium is killing me. Look at him.

He's over there smiling. They want to fucking... He loves talking about porn on people. I can tell. He loves it. I've never met really any since I've been out here. I'm just way, I'm way too high right now. You know sound triply?

Redband. Red band dates them all, didn't you? I mean, you just met Redband. Did you see Red Band at the A-V-N? You saw him there? Oh, I didn't see him, no, but I remember, you know, through the podcast. He was there. He was there the whole weekend jumping up and down with Tripoli.

Oh, yeah, I didn't see Sam had a show there. See, yeah, what the fuck? You got to be more, you got to go to these shows, Sal. General, what people are going to know? You're making a fucking comeback. You got to bust out the leather jacket and put away the hat. You got to put some, you got to put some fucking gel in your head. do and get out there?

Yeah, well, it's a secondhand smoke and the, yeah, I recycle there. I was, uh... You're from fucking Jersey. What's secondhand smoke? You're in the porn industry. You're a badass at one point in your life. What secondhand smoke's going to... You're bulletproof. Knock it off. You ever eat the crab? You ever eat the crabs from down ocean townships, the one you can't sit in a fucking cage?

Remember the ones? Remember those things? You bring them home, you kill them, and you put them in red sauce? Lee, you have no fucking idea. How about the jellyfish? Don't pick up the red one's? No, no, no, why are you going to talk about jellyfish? Why don't I talk about jellyfish? I'm Cuban. They've killed 10 million Cuban jellyfish. Jellyfish are the biggest killers of fucking Cubans, dog.

I don't like jellyfish. I got stung two times. Fuck them. I hate fucking jellyfish. They make me nervous. I see one jellyfish, I'm done. And they got them out here. They got those seasons when they just come and pop in the whole summer.

It was always when I got there, like the day before. 10 million fucking jellyfish everywhere, whether I was going to Miami. fucking Seaside Heights. Oh, the jellyfish. Seaside Heights had some big motherfuckers. Some one of those 18-inch motherfuckers that were clear.

And they were just coming. Oh, my God. And they would just throw two little tentacles at you. Zip you. You come out of the water scratching. You had to go home and put calamine. Your mother had a fucking prey. Put olive oil on your skin. It was kind of surreal for that show to come out,

knowing that I grew up there my whole life. And there's only one guy on the show. from Jersey. He can't make a deep bag at the show. Other than that, that show was really cool because I got to see where I hung out and everything, but man, when people came down in the summertime, it's great, it's a whole influx of women.

They didn't know. They were down to fucking, and then you would just, you know, at Labor Day they all head back, they shit all over the beaches, rape our women. It was a terrible thing in the growth down there, so. Listen, let me tell you something. How many times are we sat in that coughing we've had this conversation?

What the fuck do you think I was doing when I was 20 I was going down the shore either late Friday night we would start snorting at about 11 of Joe Marries and at three and at fucking three instead of going home we get another package and start driving down the shore there's no traffic about an hour right about an hour we get down the seaside as the beach we parked the car by the beach we get out get on the beach do a couple bumps take an app take a shower and then about 12 o'clock on Montego Bay open it was a It was a dollar for fucking red devils for Alabama slammers and a martini put together with a quailude.

You were done for the afternoon. You'd be walking around with a missing slipper. You didn't give a fuck, Jack. And then I remember 85, some of 84, my buddies were paying, and I'm not kidding you, they were paying maybe. This is, you know, if I say it now, you're like, oh, Joey, they were paying $14, $1,500 a month for the, summer for a closet over a club in Jersey and they would all go down there and they would all sleep in one room the bathroom was down the hall and they would all fuck girls in that room that was the real jersey sure and i used to say how the fuck do these guys do it they would talk

girls into fucking next to another one on the floor with disgust and guys puke and sperm that was the original jersey sure right and this is what it is now it's all always been an interesting place. I saw pictures of what the beach looks like now in the summer. You gotta be fucking kidding me. Have you seen it? No, I haven't. What's happening? It's bumper to bumper on the beach.

Wow. When I was a kid, you had people 20 feet from you, but I had friends that were in LBI. See, that's where the real motherfuckers went. To LBI. That's what the real pimps went with white people. That's it. You had to have a badge to go on the beach and shit. That's what was a special white people, LBI.

I had connections. You tell that story about 84. I can't believe I was cruising beach 84, 85, trying to get laid. You're down there doing it. I can't believe we're at the same place at the same time. That's epic. And that's 84. 85 because I would go down on the weekend and cruise around seaside.

Now there's a no cruising law or whatever. But yeah, that's where you went. I started going, I started my first adventure to the seaside. Let me tell you little boys and girls some. My first adventure ever the seaside was the summer of 79 when I was a freshman going into being a sophomore, ladies and gentlemen. I hit the number my freshman year on my birthday for 10 grand. And my mother had took five and I took the other five. And I was supposed to put it in the bank of leaving there. And these days there was no ATM. You got to go to the bank with a

fucking notebook. And they would take the money out of your notebook and shit. And I remember that summer I put away money. I worked for a Mason. My mother was still alive and that summer little boys and girls. I took a bus with my little gumbas. We bought a half ounce of chocolate tieweed from Harlem. We bought a bag of quailudes, like three quayas. We bought four hits of acid and we bought the first black Sabbath album. Yes. Oh my fucking God. We rented a house for two weeks.

And I still remember the girls that came down. I still remember fucking one of them and eating them and going back to high school and trying to be their friends. It was never the same. That was my first take. And I remember being broke because we had the house for two weeks. And after one week I was broke, we were going on the boardwalk every night and eat sandwiches and turkey sandwich. and all this shit and I went on the beach one day I jumped in the water and I'm in the water swimmer I look up and there's something coming at me it was a $50 bill I took it out of the ocean no way and in those days the bus was like $12 to go back up to Fort Lee or the North Bergen

and the buses came down every hour on the hour So I would go home take a shower get closed and jump right back on the bus go right back to Seaside Heights Wow, that's incredible have some pork roll egg and cheese while you were there It was a fucking interesting time. I remember one specific fucking 1981. I was a fucking mess. My mother was dead two years, guys. I was a fucking mess.

I was hanging out with this kid Randy Mergel and this kid DiAgostino. All right, and we took a bus. We took a hit of purple fucking microdot from New York City. And we took a bus to Seaside Heights on one of those July days when it's 100 degrees and 100 humidity.

And we were playing Highway the Hell the album on a cassette. Remember those cassette the Puerto Ricans used to have? The big ones, we're on a bus with white people. And every 15 minutes, fucking Diagostino would hit the button. Highway, and the bus driver would pull over, walk to the back, turn the fucking radio off. He walked to the front, 15 minutes, highway there. They threw him off the bus, and then we met him later on in Seaside Highway. that night with his fucking radio.

Oh, nice. What a great album that was, by the way? Let's not bypass that. South Genoa, since you're out of Jersey, we're going to let you go. I want to promote your podcast on here. Let them know about your podcast and what it is. Sure, every Thursday night, guys,

the porn director podcast, I have a fellow friend of mine con. We talk about all the industry. You bring them down. We tell the news. The rumors going on. We have special guests on sometimes. Joey will be on, and I wish. So yeah, foreign director podcast.com.

It's a great show with every Thursday night. You post it on the site about 11 Pacific Standard Time. And it's a great way to learn about the industry, learn about some of the girls. It's fun, it's exciting, and Leah love it.

It just tells you all about the industry. You should have Lee. Lee would be good on that show. I wouldn't be good. Lee's a star. Yeah, let's have a little on down. So yeah, Foreign Director Podcast, My Twitter's at Sal underscore Genoa G-E-N-O-A.

Do you want to learn about the industry? Ask me questions. You know, because everybody wants to know what the hell goes on. I heard you guys are freaks with the party. Whatever. If you want to go to hell, contact South Genoa, all right? Exactly. So thanks for all right, Joe.

It's awesome. I love you, brother. Thanks for being my buddy. All right. We'll talk during the week. All right, cool. Stay blackish. What do you think about that, Cocksucker?

I got your son-a-porn-a guy, because I love you. I know you sit there all. confused and the shit sometimes sweating the night before. You missed mom. I know you whack off like a savage. Oh, it used to be worse, but I was single? By Tuesday. It was like two or three times a day. By Tuesday, I went to the pediatric day

and there was a little dead sperm who was still alive by the tub. I was like, are you the man? I use that man. Your sperm is an old black man? Your sperm is an old black man? No, yours. You fuck? What are you talking? Oh, mine? I thought it was yours. Yeah, I went to your backroom.

I saw a little guy in the tub. I heard someone I was peering. I don't do that in the tub. I was doing the tub. Ben. Well, he was in the tongue. Maybe he left him on your leg. You left him on your leg and you went and took a shout out. All right, let's give some shout out you. Philphee's thoughts. Tony and Phoenix. Happy birthday. Jimmy Nations. Jordan Brascombe. Keep on, keeping on, cocksucker. Sam Methodius. Japan. Japanese. The band is playing at the lyric bar.

February 1st. Jesse and Minnesota. Jason in Minnesota, I love you, and Jeff Taylor, you bad motherfucker. Thank you. That's all I got to tell you, you know what I'm saying? I love it. Man, this week, when I went to... Minnesota.

It was so weird that the owner of the club and I were talking. I think it was Friday night. And we were just talking about Generalities. It was in between shows. He goes, you know, I heard you had a bad cop problem. I go, yeah. And he goes, how bad was it? We were just talking.

Me and just telling them the story. We got myself so fucking worked up. Like it was so angry. When I went back to, I got on stage, and that night I left, I went back to my room. I was so angry. It kept me awake all night. What do you mean angry?

I get him for asking? No, no, no, no, no. He's a great dude. Just of how much of my life I threw away. Because I got emails from people. And they're like, thank you for talking about fear. Thank you for talking about addiction. I just got off pills

It's been six months or eight months or two years You know your show whatever And it's so weird how I've done it And I know what you go through And I know that the tailspin that you take And how much effort you put into it How much effort a part of your life You threw away putting effort into drugs

And while Me telling him that It recreated it in my mind About how much time I fucking just grew away because of it was 26 fucking years. 26 years. That's right now. One more year?

My whole life, yeah. That's your whole life if you live one more year, knock on wood. So that's how scary that was. And let's pretend, yeah, the first, from 79 to 82, it was casual. 83, I started doing creepy shit for it, which meant it became a problem. You know, it became a fucking problem. And it was amazing how it was falling on my lap.

It was the last thing I needed in my life, but it was falling on my lap. It was just so abundant in that little times. It was so around me, and people were making so many mistakes around me. And I would be right there that just boom. Like I was living in this place in Snowmass Village. and I knew a guy I knew a guy who knew a guy

and he used to talk about that the shit he got came from California and he used to get mailed but he thought he was cute he used to get mailed to Asman okay but this guy worked

down valley like an hour down and an hour back so he didn't get back to 7 o'clock at night so I figured out the way out of breaking to his house take his mail key from his wall go to aspen look on this oh when i went to his house i had to find his mail and get that box at aspen okay go to take the bus to asman open up his box take the coat leave the mail go back to his house put the hook back on the fucking thing go to my house and snort the coke jesus and then i remember being around him a week

later and going man yeah they sent two packages and both them disappeared something's going on I put a chill on it. I don't know what the fuck's going on. It's the weirdest thing. And he goes, something's not right. I've been dealing with these people for years. It's always automatic. And I remember, like, another time he told somebody,

yeah, it's coming again. And a day later, I went into his house, took the key, and there it was again. Oh, my God, this guy was livid. And I didn't do it again. But I think years later, he figured it out. When the word got out in an aspirin, he was like, that could happen.

I don't know if he figured out. I can't be broken twice. That's a crazy story. I've never heard that story before. But I don't think, I don't know, man, maybe it's just because I want to be positive and say that, like, you wouldn't have been here now. So, I mean, it's probably good that it happened,

but then again, you can't really say 30 years of drug use is good. You would have been totally different. Like, you probably would have been divorced from your wife, but still in Colorado, being a salesman and you probably wouldn't have would never been in jail you might have been like an economics professor I was fucking destines of doom because that shit

that shit was in my mind I thought I could function and in my mind I thought I did function looking back at it yeah I was functioning but not really late I was just going through the fucking motions that now that I'm off it I see it now the clarity I see it now wow

I thought I had it together then that was nothing. Yeah. Could you imagine what I could have been doing? I took night classes, took regular classes, I was getting good grades.

Can you imagine if I wasn't getting high? I didn't have to work and I just was a normal kid who took a school loan and took an apartment and got a nice job that paid them eight bucks an hour selling leather fucking bicycles.

You know those jobs you're selling fucking college. You make money, man, who gives a fuck? But then you wouldn't have been here. Like I said, you would have been like an economics professor. Who fucking, you know?

But who knows? Joked around on the weekends with his money. Who fucking wants to die knowing that they threw away 26 years? It doesn't fucking, you know me, I really don't give a fuck, but I do give a fuck. Yeah. I do give a fuck since. And since we do the show, I don't want other people to say this.

Like, what fuck me up was when I watched Ray. Okay. Like, he was 60 when he got off heroin. That would have just killed me. If I would have been 50 still doing blow, I would have been, because I would have been a mess by this point. I wouldn't know when I was going to go. down. I wouldn't have known when I was

going to go down like 50 and still doing a G-bow a night and smoking cigarettes and sleeping all day and fucking you know, not taking care of myself, you know, it's just amazing. I mean, it seems like you got, you can't really get drug used perfectly, but

you stopped right when he needed to. There's not relating health problems. Yeah, but it's just so fucking weird how you know, and it really dominated my life. Out of the 16, out of the 26 years, let me tell you some, I could stare at you and go, well, it only really dominated my life, maybe 12 of those years. I got to tell you something, it really dominated

my life 20 of those years out of those six. That is a crazy thing that I don't even really understand. Maybe 18, but closer to 20. But when you say, like, you wake up and you're like, all right, I got to make 60, so I can get the Coke for the day and then I'm good. And Lee, all this, why you're doing this? All this way, you have a two-bedroom apartment, and you got a car payment. All this. All this. and your addiction. Then one day I said, well, I'll tell you what I could do. I could cut this in half,

figure out of the way how to do my addiction, and I can make this work. I won't have to buy underwear. I won't get a phone. I got a seat beeper. I learned how to live without, with. My example, in 85 of 95 living in Boulder. I had a one-bedroom,

but it was a great apartment. You had nowhere to walk in the bedroom. It was not even a door. Once you hit the bedroom, you fell into the bed. The living room was a TV, a great television, like a Trinitron, and there was a bench, a weightlifting bench, which I used as a dinner table, and I worked down on that bench. The kitchen was immaculate.

The shower was a stand-up shower. There was a nice toilet there, and there was a hole in the wall where I threw away all my empty cocaine bindles. And one that I broke into there and took all the bindles and tried to see if there was any cocaine left. Yeah. horrible, horrible fucking stories rather than that apartment. That was one of the worst

ever, but that's what I think about, I go, wow, how long did it dominate my life? Well, maybe fucking 20 years, maybe not, maybe close to 18, who gives a fuck? It just shocked me. I say this because maybe somebody's hooked on something.

Well, I know I'm stealing this from some movie or TV show or something, but someone said, like, it's not a drug problem, it's like a money problem. Like, if you had, let's you didn't have to, like, if you had a, if you weren't a millionaire and you could have a gram of Coke a night but not, not have to be up in the morning, like, if you had the money to do it and it wasn't adversely affecting your life, would it be a problem? It always affected you. Really?

Even if you had money. Because let's pretend your father has a fruit store. Okay. Okay. And your father was successful. I made $2.3 million a year. Your father's 58. He barely comes in no more.

He got a heart attack on his 56. It's you and your brother. Okay. Your brother's a fucking moron. Okay, your brother's a fucking moron. He wants to be a gangster, but he's a fucking idiot. He's already gotten in trouble. So guess what?

It's going on, Lee Syatt. Okay? Lee Syatt is a nice kid. All of him, he goes from being $400 a week and living at home in the basement to making $3,000 a week. and your mother's still closing it. And then one night you go to a bar on the corner. You do a few bumps on a Wednesday night with some chick that's the hottest thing you've ever seen.

Okay. That's the easiest way to get into fucking blow. As chicks? When some chick comes up to you and says, I want to suck your dickly, do this so you can feel better. And now every time this chick opposes you, you've got to buy coke rather suck your dick.

Oh, okay. Now you get hooked slightly, and now you're doing it. But a guy like you, next thing you know, you're not going to work no more. the job you had, and now you're working 10 to 6

and some days, and the job is okay, Lee, but you're hooked on blow, and by 2 o'clock at the job, you're already calling your dealer. When can I meet you? I'm on the way home, right off the turnpike where we usually meet. Do you understand me?

So really you're working, but it's in the back mind. It's underneath you. Okay. It's underneath you, Lee. It's like the mind of the gambler. You want to be a professional gambler. There's two people.

It's the understanding. the lying of that. It's a person who has money and who's controlled against a person who has $200,000 and has a dream of having a limo and coming to L.A. and hanging out with Aerosmith and drinking champagne

and having strippers. There's two different type of gamblers. Do you understand me? There's the guy like you that work for his money. This is the money you have. This is the bank row you got. This is how you're going to make it happen. So you're with me? Yeah. So it's the same thing with

working with an addiction like that. You're going to lie to yourself. Then when you're going to go out at 4 in the morning and crash your car and your father's going to find out someone you got a fiancé. You got married and he got caught with a fucking black stripper in the fucking... Trust me.

There's always a fucking compromise. There's always something at the end. You never get away with murder with that shit. It's crazy. Somewhere along the line it's going to fucking nail you. I just don't... I mean, it's crazy with all that we know

now how kids my age is still starting it. Because I can understand when I first came out with you, you never really knew, but I don't know, and it's not that the programs worked at my school, but after hearing what you just said, like it doesn't really... What fucking programs? The programs work against you. The program for a kid is to get off the fucking street, so you got to go to those clubs now and say VIP.

You got to pay $1,500 a bottle to be fucking cool. You know what 15... When I was a kid, I paid for three drinks, it's $4 a piece. It's $12. You gave the bartender $4 and you could still get 10 burgers at White Castle. Now it's $1,500 for a bottle in the fucking table league. You understand me? And now you got to throw pills in there or blow in there, whatever the fuck you're doing in there.

Now how are you going to make it happen? There's a lot, you know, it's tough. There's programs, but the society and media are stronger than the programs. Do you know what I'm saying? They overpower it. They overpower your mind. It's like a nicotine company. You know, you ever talked to somebody

that's like, I didn't smoke for 25 years and all of a sudden I started smoking? What are you fucking, kidding me? At 25, you started fucking smoking? I had a problem about 10 years ago. When I was really getting off below, when I knew I had to get off it, there were all these incidents that were happening,

you know, little things that were just pushing me, telling me, you do. Yeah. You got arrested in 87. You got out in 88. You went in 98. You got out in 89. You stayed fucked around until 91.

You got into the comedy. You got divorced. You went fucking off. You really went off. And now this is 98, 99. And I'm still fucking around. I knew something was going to happen. And little fucking, you get fucking signs.

You know what I'm saying? Different people. Things happen. and people get arrested, people do this, people do that. So, who the fuck knows? I'm stoned like a motherfucker. Listen. This weekend I had to go to Minneapolis

and I was 60 fucking degrees or whatever. And I went swimming with the one day. They had a seesaw pool. That's why I did that one in the pool. Wednesday, I was sick last week. But I tried to get a workout out of him before I left. So I did a kettlebell class Wednesday morning. I got on a plane at three.

I went to kettle about class at 9.30. I took the hemp protein shake before class, whatever. Before I flew, I took the fucking turnaround 180. When I got off the plane, four-hour flight, I felt a lot better. I just want to experiment with it and see if I was dragging. I went back to my room. I had dinner that night. I took a shower.

I read a little bit. I wrote a little bit in the computer. I had a pretty good time. The next morning, I had to do radio. They were picking up at 645. I was two hours off, and I remember going, why don't I feel that bad? And it was the honest stuff. Oh.

When I flew back today, it's 9 o'clock. I didn't sleep yet today. Oh, you didn't think? Oh, shit. No. Wow. But listen to me, I got off stage at 1145. I was back in my room by 1230. Yeah.

I was in bed at 10 to 1 with the Godfather. We're still on AMC. I passed out, and I got up at 6.30. So I got some sleep last night. On the plane, I might have slept for about an hour. Billy Gardell was on the plane. with me we talked for a long time and then I went home and took the baby to the park went to eat lunch babo-beam ba-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-boom boom and I came here look at me I

got to go to work tomorrow I got to be that 730 I feel great right now that's the honor at the 180 turnaround yeah so I don't fuck with people when I talk to you people it's from the fucking heart you think got some rough patches going whatever go on it give it a fucking shot whether it's the hemp fucking protein the alpha brain go to fucking joey deers dot net go to the honor Box press church boom you get 10% on it's got a bunch of programs going on right now they have the shit that they mail you on a monthly basis so you never want out you on it they got the program for the sweepstakes we go to Dallas and see Robbie laura fight fidel they got some

shit going on and on it so i don't fuck around with them either also on this trip i took the dollar shave club razor just to experiment i got to tell you something i'm in love and i got so many of those fucking razors i'm gonna be with dollar shave club even after they fucking become fucking famous and charge me $22 a fucking month. But for right now, motherfuckers, if you're not fucking around with Dollar Shave Club, they might do this again for one more month, they might do it for they might fucking stop.

They already stopped the campaign one time and they came back on because you guys support, and you know I always love you. Do me a favor. Go to fucking joey-d-d-S-D-S-Net. Go to Dollar Shave Club, go on the box and press, church.

Boom! C-H-U-R-C-H. Let me tell you what you get. You either get the dollar program, the $6 program, the $9 program, And I'll tell you what I ran out lately of I sucked it out dry the cocoa fucking spread The shave butter yeah

The shave butter I gotta tell you some I gotta hear the hold of them And see how you get a little something on the fucking arm That shaved butter was working look I don't have any grown hairs no more I did exactly what they fucking told me to do At first you think you're getting jipped Yeah

Like this just don't feel like shaving cream But look I'm still smoothing the motherfucker Boom Go to Dollar Shave Club What are you pressed on? Church Oh shit Bang that motherfucker what

broups put a little fuck of something for salami where's that Bon Jovi you said you were gonna play for your Uncle Joey oh shit Monday morning

get your shit together January what's it lately 26th 27th you slip it's 26 today oh it's Monday Domani what the fuck Domani

it's fucking Monday it's fucking Monday somewhere it took like 15 minutes apart you know that that's how sizzled I got the thing that you can see behind you with the lights,

if you're going to hit the fucking tree. It tells you there's a flying saucer. How much do you have before you came over? I've been going all day. Before I got in the cab, it was 20 below. I gave my luggage to the little Sohilian guy. And I said, I got to go in this alley real quick. What are you doing?

Oh, sorry. Are you supposed to be a DJ? I'm just narrating, the motherfucker. Nari it. And I went over. Yeah. And I got a, I had a tube, that last fucking number, that shit I had all tremendous.

I got that cab. Plus, I had two lollipops. That's one of my buddies from the fucking place. It's a good dude. He wanted me to do his podcast. I gave him a shout-out. And I had a rice-chrispy treat. That was death.

Oh, shit. Kickily. I'm feeling this Indian tonight. You know what I'm saying? And then I came over here with you. We ate the half of Gumi. We smoked a number of Captain Debt. I don't know what's in here.

What happened? I don't know. You know, that's something. That's the police. Crack that motherfucker. It says, new product coming soon, vaguen, gluten-free,

chocolate cookies as made with coconut oil and cocoon. Holy kick it. I want to give a shout out to my girl. We sent this my girl on the shit. Anti-mobacco going to go on.

Oh, that's Andy Dolores? Okay. Why put the music down? Because I'm high, I don't know. Oh, shit. That one just hit me. I feel like extra. Pick it over.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Are you fucking kidding me? Turn that off and shit. I'm going to have to, if I fucking hit somebody with their car tonight, I'm so fucking fired. I've got some good music right there.

Yeah. Don't you have me, con. You didn't want to play. You got me in New Jersey. New Jersey is going to be fucked up this week with the Super Bowl. Oh, yeah. I hope they don't move it to Saturday. They're already talking about it.

Yeah, they had it on ESPN that they could do Saturday, Sunday, or Monday. Oh, my God. I don't know. The games are too expensive to go anyways, and if I'm not paying that much, I don't want to sit out on the snow. I want to go to New Orleans or Miami, whatever. They usually have it. They've got to be there by three. They're going to be in that weather for six hours.

And it's been number four. but I heard it's fucking freezing What's the weather report like? Let me look. It can't be good But I just had another storm this week Hit me, come on. You're supposed to be on point with fucking weather? Snow reports What's the weather in Green Bay right now?

Green Bay, let's see Sunday it's supposed to be high of 39, low of 27 In New York That's pussy weather, no snow No, it's not cloudy they said All they're saying that's scaring white people That's all they're trying to do is make people pack extra luggage so the airport can make an extra 55,000 million in fucking luggage fees. They get 10%.

There's always a Jew with its hand down. What? It's a five degrees right now in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Who gives a fuck? Why are you looking at Green Bay? There's a low of, for everyone waking up today in Wisconsin to a low of negative 20. I'm very sorry. Why are you telling me the weather in fucking Wisconsin?

Can you tell you that? I always gives a joke, you fuck. What are you a fuck about Green Bay? I know it's freezing. I just came from Minneapolis Is that any different thing? Yeah, fucking 9-20?

It was going to be minus 10 today. That was the fucking high today. Oh, my God. Minutes 10 in Minneapolis. You got to love those people. You got to love those people. Most people, like I told on, like I said on stage, I go, we're home in L.A.

in 80-degree weather, watching CNN late night. Yeah. And all of a sudden it's like, today the weather in Los Angeles. And also, right before they break, they show you like a car and snow sliding and hitting the pole.

Yeah. And they go, that was the weather in Minneapolis. We'll come back with details. You know, they always show you the weather in Minneapolis. Yeah. And then when you sit there, you're like, wow, I can't. I was there. And I'm telling you the one day it was fucking cold.

I could feel the, like I said, the skin hitting the fucking jeans. I'm surprised you didn't just go and smoke right into the heating vent. Listen, I can't disrespect the building and stuff. You know, they're kids there. I went for a walk. I did what I had to do. I ate edibles and I kept it to a minimum. You know what I'm saying?

They were very nice to have me. You don't want to get in trouble. Okay. One of my the fucking beetles I could smoke dope as kids When it's fucking negative 10 Yeah Even when I was

Today even way 10, 20 years ago I never I was on I don't give a fucking If an adult smells Reefer keep walking bitch But if you walk past me With a kid I would always be very embarrassed

Because the kids I'm in a spot right now And go mommy Every kid is not dumb They're gonna smell Go what is that sweet smell And they're gonna look And someday something else is gonna happen

and they're going to put together what they snowed that day was refra. You see what I'm saying? So this is what I'm talking about. I see what you're saying. Don't fuck. Why are you mesmerizing me, Lee? I have a great smile. I don't know. Why am I mesmerizing you?

I ain't talking to fuck with me, telling. Who else do we have to talk about? We have to talk about Oulu Plus. You have to talk about Nature's Box. I'm getting great reviews from people, so thank you Nature's Box for giving 50% off from your first order. 50 fucking percent off.

You're going for some chocolate almonds right now? All those cocoa almonds out of this fucking world. The asaella, out of this world. The sesame sticks. Out of this fucking world of sesame sticks. Nice and beautiful. Oh, nice. Go to Nature's Box.

Go to Joey Dears. Go to Nature's Box. Go to Nature's Box. What's the code? Joey. Joey. What's the code? Bam.

50% off right now. Go there. I'm telling you. Listen, do it Uncle Joey your favor. Go. 50% off. Just trying to Cocoa. almonds, tell me those things ain't fucking good.

Tell me you're not going to sleep like a baby naturally from the cocoa butter and the almonds digesting. You're killing the fucking molecules in your body from those psalis. They need to work something out for guys, the church's service of it is instant delivery because if I had to have snacks delivered

right now, oh stop. What would you right now? I'm thinking about it. I have bagels that I picked up because I don't want to leave the house right now. We need for food bagels. No, I got good ones. bakery down the street and I went to pick up breakfast this morning and they were selling like a dozen for like four bucks what about cream cheese yeah fresh cream cheese I don't know I kind of pissed me off

they left the sides kind of empty in the container so I'm kind of fuck go but so you got fresh cream cheese yeah oh let's make a bake okay okay so we gave a shout out to dollar shave club yeah we gave a shout out to honor yeah we gave a shout out to my other fucking demon dogs Nature box. Nature box. And one of my favorite fucking people I got on board that I love with all my life is fucking Hulu Plus.

They've been sold just for like a year and they're gonna stay on because we love them. They feel the fucking love in my fucking voice, especially on a beautiful Monday morning. Get out there. Wash your fucking monkey.

There's life waiting for you. You gotta do something. Brush your teeth, floss. Do whatever the fuck. You got a sesame seed and your tooth trying to get a fucking job. Would you give somebody a fucking job with a sesame fucking seed in this fucking tooth?

Get it together, cocksucker. This is what I'm talking about. Anyway, back to Hulu Plus. People looking through the windows, take your dick out. Jump up and down with the Israeli flag on you like McJagger. Is somebody walking by, Lee? I have no idea. Anyway, I was talking about Hulu Plus.

Listen, I love when people send me email saying, look a dog. I tried Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus is an automatic home run. If you're not with Hulu Plus shit, you're slipping. You're fucking slipping. All right. Hulu Plus. Go to joeydeers.com. Go to Hulu Plus box. Joey.

Boom. Get two weeks on there. on after that's $7.99 a month. That's $96 a fucking year. You spend the deuce tonight. They'll be happy. You spend the deuce on Uncle Joey tonight. You get fucking Hulu Plus and you get the fucking Dollar Shave Club. You got razors and fucking entertainment for a year. That's how I wrote. That's my fucking Happy New Year to you, God Suckers, because I love you. If you're in Minneapolis, let me tell you something. If you came to the shows in Minneapolis, I love weird that my deepest apologies the mall was pissed at me i couldn't go out there in between shows you

know me i'm down for everything but the last time we went nutsly we went into the parking lot and they got cameras and we were out there fucking smoking the security came it's not that it's shitty man it's the mall of fucking america you're not dealing with fucking swahili's fucking hanging out on the street corner this isn't that type of mall they pay a lot of money for that shit you know one of our friends got in trouble up there yeah so it didn't help you know it didn't help you matters either. So please disrespect me. I'll catch you somewhere where we could take a picture and chit-chat.

I spoke to a lot of nice fucking people. I spoke to a black dude that was cough on me. I wanted to strangle him, but I fucking love you. Some dude kept coughing. You know how nervous I get when people cough around me, you know what I'm saying? Negative 10. You're getting a cough every time. You know, the night before, I'm out there and some guys

fucking go and listen. We should go get on. And he comes up over here and he starts coughing. And I go to you, are you sick? And he goes, no, I had the flu last week. Why are you standing fucking next to me? You don't have I got to go to fucking work on Monday. I just told you 10 fucking times. Why are you standing next to me?

No, I had like 10 people do it to me all night. I'm sorry if I went off on a couple people that were standing too fucking close to me. But I'm like, how are you going to stand next to me for 10 minutes and go fucking cough and turn purple in front of me? Then I'm sitting on me, you were sick. Yeah, I had the flu for eight weeks. Why are you standing fucking next to me? Go down the fucking corner and send me a turtle with a string on its fucking back. I don't give a fuck no more leak.

You know what I'm saying? These people, I don't want to get fucking sick. I didn't take the fucking food shot because I'm scared of fucking needles. Don't you understand that shit? So I got to stay very fucking vibrant. I got to eat vitamin C. Oh my God. You know, these people, get the fuck.

I love talking to people. But why are you going to stand next to me and start coughing? You know that shit, you rather come over and rub my hummus at my eyeballs. Anyway, I got no dates coming up. I'm off for a fucking month. I'm going to start with new material. It's all fucking over. I'm dumbly.

I couldn't fucking take it no more. I'm excited. And I'm trying to add new shit, Lee, and it's working. It's not working. So I'm not getting bites. I got to lay it down now. Restart from the beginning, and I'm fucking going for you. So you're an assistant coach.

So start getting exercise. You've got to start training me during the week, like fucking Lou and Rocky, whatever the fucking guy's name. So you're slipping. I'm slipping. I'm sorry. You want to play in the game. You want to be the managing producer.

You want to be in the background, scratching your feet, thinking about why it could have happened. Next thing, you know, you're editing a job for BET, jumping up and down with black people. of awards that smells like fucking who got's 15 times and shit Ah, go, go, go, go, Gag, Gag, Gag, Gag, Gag.

Lee, yeah, still got it. I love you, cocksuckers. Let's get out of here, Lee. And please check out today at Monday on 10. We have, this is how big of a nerd I am with Jerry Rocha,

and tomorrow, Tuesday, we have Flying Drew Radio and watch this with Rick Ramos. So what time is Jerry Rocha tomorrow? 10 a.m. 10 a.m. and what time is the other one? Flying Drew.

radio is at 8 a.m. on Tuesday and watch this with Rick Ramos is 10 a.m. on Tuesday. All right, we'll get it together. I love you, motherfuckers. Don't forget the CD is still live and kicking on iTunes. You can't eat pussy with asthma. It's on payload.com. Testicle testaments on payload.com now

and cut this shit. Get out there. I'm coming back. I start with Boston, then New Jersey, then Chicago, then Fort Lauderdale. So don't worry about nothing. I just got a revamp and get my head together like GSP. I have a little map you went. because Boston, New Jersey, like Chicago, it all ends up

in Fort Lauderdale. Lee. Yeah. Get it together. All right. This is what you did to me. This is what you get. Now that the show is over, don't forget to sign up for your free trial of Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus let the binge on thousands of fit shows anytime, anywhere on your TV, PC,

smartphone or tablet. B.C. B-C. P-P-P-Pee. Support this podcast and get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus when you go to Hulu. dot com shut up joey slash joey or go to joey ds.net and click on the hulu plus banner i'm laughing because i almost took the table down by this thing and i was thinking how good that video would be it'd be all over online the whole fucking table just went down some computer dot-cote fucking pictures tapes sometimes you're looking to the future i'm sorry for

interrupting no i was too high i could look up and see what's happening did you hear the click the table it was on his last leg it was click I was like, oh no. This is crazy. Okay. And don't forget to sign up for dollshaveclub.com. You can high quality raisers. Send your door each month for a fraction of we pay retail.

Go to dollarshave club.com slash church. Or go to joey niz. Click on the dollar shave club banner. Click. Do some, cock suckers. All right, I love you. Have a great week. Get the week off fucking kicking.

Like a bad motherfucker at y'all. always give love on it in the fucking house get the 20% off always give love to Hulu Plus on the Monday morning don't forget my fucking motherfuckers up there at Nature Box giving you 50% off and did I say 15

fuck that you're dealing with real motherfucking Jews they're going over the top of January 50% off they're still mad about fucking write-along 51 million where is that money going that's our fucking money I forget to mention somebody Uh, Dahl's Shape Club, Who Plus, NatureBox, and, uh, what's it?

On it. On it. I love you, you always mention it on it. I love all you people. Have a great week. Get it together. Stop scratching your armpits. Put some music on.

Lee, what though? Nature box. Come from a go, Joey, 50% off. This wasn't the song. Huh? This wasn't the song. Yes, it was. You sure.

Are you sure? Yeah, you said this in case. What's this in case?