The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #149 - The Church Of What's Happening Now

Episode Date: February 10, 2014

Comedian Vicky Pezza calls in. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Hulu Plus. Visit Huluplus.com/joey for an extended free trial. Dollar Shave Club. Use promo code CHURCH and get high quality razors sent to your door. Escapepodtank.com Mention Joey or the Church and get $250 off. Recorded live on 02/10/2014.

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or just go to joeydeus.net and click on the dollar shave club banner. And again, welcome to escapepodtank.com. They have everything you need to get a deprivation tank right in your house. They save you thousands of dollars, and they'll even save you $250 off. If you mention the church, they'll send it right to your house. They'll come and build it for you. They're great, and thank you guys for joining us. Oh shit, you bad motherfuckers.

Monday, February 10th, the day the devil. was buried at sea. Kicking this motherfucker off. The little Judas Priest unleashed in the fucking east. Are you kidding me? So what? He's fucking a homo.

So what? The singer fucking is, yeah. I don't give a fuck. This guy could sing. Are you fucking kidding me? It's Monday, bitches. Get the oatmeal, get the alpha brain, pull the skin back on your helmet,

wash that motherfucker. What? Do it, Lee, you better. motherfucker let me see you wiggle cock's up oh shit oh shit looking to you sexy fuck what's happening today we gotta hit him heavy with some priest this morning to get them up and fucking started you know what I'm saying it's Monday the tent it's a little cold people get a little retarded it's no who gives up get out there you fuck it's amazing how nothing like now would sound like that live what's that nothing nothing like Justin Bieber nothing like did nothing today would sound like that

life that's amazing that you know that this one of a very very very very few live out. They don't make live albums at all no more. I was surprised when he told me to say live. I was like, okay, shit. No, no. This is a live album that was taped in 1979 in Japan. Steve Runny turned me on to this fucking album.

Like in the homeroom, wherever you go, and study hall in high school. And I was blown the fuck away of the quality, how good it sounded. Until this day, I rather listen to Victim of Changes Live. I read out of Listen to Diamonds and Rust Live. I read out of the Cinnah Live. But that's just me.

You know, everybody's fucking different. The church of what's happening now, welcoming you. Monday, February 10th, you bad motherfuckers. It's a beautiful day to be alive. Get out there. Fucking stab somebody in the fucking neck. Do something for your life. Something.

You got to do something. Fucking something. I know it's dark out there. I know you sit there sometimes and you're scared what's going to happen to my future. You know what? Nothing if you fucking sit there in the darken the kitchen. A little off the fucking computer. You got to get out there.

What's up with you, baby? How is the weekend? That's a pretty shitty weekend, but I'm feeling better now. You're recuperating, see the fucking flu escalated one. Well, I had a cough for the last month, but I got the cold and it just threw it into fucking overdrive. And I actually went to the clinic yesterday, and I'm fine now. They gave me some antibiotics. It's fucking crazy how this stupid flu works, and now it's escalated over the years.

You know, it started with a little cough in your eyes, and you get sick, and a fever, and it's blowing. into this like 19 different fucking flus and every time you know and every time you get on the plane every time you go to a different car every time these things mix it's like these these hurricanes and these things that get stronger and stronger the flu gets strong and stronger now there's been over a hundred debts in california from the flu and people can't put their fucking finger on it now a couple of years ago when i was living in hollywood still my last christmas in hollywood i caught a fucking case of the flu slash bronchitis slash jungle funk

slash, you know, this thing was just harmful and it was what happened to you. It was a six week longer. And what happened where people don't get is that the flu enters your body and you get sick for a few days. They have this pill that you take. If you grab the symptom the second day,

that little tickle in your throat and that little, once you start getting it, if you go to your doctor, they have this pill called Tammy flu. Okay. That's five days straight. You take it five days straight. and eliminates the fucking flu.

Eliminates everything in your system. Your toenail fungi. Your fucking eyebrow. I mean, everything. It kills it. You even get dizzy. You even feel that dizzy. Well, but it kills the flu inside you.

But who the fuck has the time to catch the flu and go down there? Because sometimes you just feel shitty and you pray to God you don't get the flu. But here's the problem. You get that first initial bout. And it takes you down, people. And you know what? We all have jobs and, you know, life goes on. You know, after the third day.

Hopefully you catch it on the weekend that you don't lose that much work because not everybody's fucking, you know, the wolf of Wall Street, right? So you, after a four or five days, you start feeling better. And what happens is you get up and you go to work. And it's those days when it's really cold out in the morning. And by lunchtime, it's 80 degrees. Yeah. So you bundle up in the morning, but then in the afternoon you go for lunch and you walk. You walking breaks the sweat.

And now you leave your jacket open. And for some reason, that cold air goes underneath and catches that little bit of moisture that's in your chest, whatever area. And I'll tell you what, the next fucking day, you're set off and running. And it gets worse and worse. Then your cough escalates.

Then your inner chest gets filled with fluid. It's a fucking nightmare. I think that's what people are dying from. So the secret is that once you get the fluid, no matter how good you feel, the fourth day when it starts to trick you, you have to. And it's like when I told my friend Eddie Bravo,

Eddie Bravo got it. And I go, Eddie, don't fuck around. I guess Wednesday last week he worked out. And by Thursday, by Friday, it was full-blown bright guys. He couldn't get on a plane. You know, I hope he's feeling better. But it's the truth, guys. Once you get this flu, you've got to just chill.

You got a dose with vitamin C. And the old adage was a thousand milligrams a day. That's the full fucking Indian people. And Portuguese people started jumping up and down and bringing them. And I'm not insulting though, but I'm just saying that every day. the airports, you know. This is years ago. You know, when you take vitamin C, it just washes right out.

If you eat what vitamin C, the next time you pee, your body fucking, you know. Really? So you got to stock up on vitamin C people in the wintertime. You really do got to stock up on vitamin C. And all those pills that you take that prevent whatever, all those commercial fucking anecdotes. You know what? They may work. They may not work.

Who the fuck are you? Try it. You know, you go into a room there's 20 fucking kids. is in there. The flu is fucking in there. When you go to the supermarket, the flu is in there. When you go to the fucking gym and you lift the kettlebells and you go in your car,

you're putting the flu on your handle. Now that's on your fucking steering wheel. I know. I mean, I felt bad. I had to go to the grocery store to get juice and tissues and stuff. I'm like, I was coughing and sneezing. I'm like, if I'm doing it, there has to be thousands of other people doing it. You know, it's just a, it's a thing. And the flu, like I said, it keeps

getting strong and strong. It's like a hurricane. Yeah. Arrogames are getting stronger and stronger. Well, these flu bugs are getting fucking strong and stronger. Do you take a flu shot? I don't fucking know. I didn't get one. Maybe I should have. Me neither my wife and mercy did.

But that's another thing I noticed. Because I went to the clinic, and I have insurance, thank God, through my mom. But that's ending in July when I turned 26. And she's been bugging me to go look at, like, Obamacare and all that stuff. And I just haven't done it. And I just, out of just the Jewish in me, I asked her, How much did I save by being on insurance? She said, well, the visit would have been 80,

and then I got three prescriptions, and I saved, like, $150 on that. So I can't imagine doing this without insurance these days. Insurance, you know, and that's the other side of the spectrum. That this would have cost a person who makes $12 bucks an hour, $15 bucks an hour, you know, $600 gross a week, take home $450, $4.20, $4.10. this would cost you half your check. $80 for the doctor.

$80 for the... And a CVS. And a real doctor. And a real doctor. You went to a real doctor, but a CVS who was working. No, it wasn't even a real doctor. It was a nurse practitioner. Wow.

Wow. So you paid $80 fucking dollars. And how much of the prescriptions? Would have been like $200 and I paid $60, I think? Yeah. No, no, no. Dog, insurance is crucial. and you know I never took advantage of it for years

I had level one now I'm back to level one insurance which means I go to rehab okay I go to mental health now I don't listen to those voices in my head you know your deductibles lower but I also had to be with the union I've been with the union since 1990 fucking seven so I'm going on 17 years

every year you have to make a certain percentage of money for them to give you level one or level two insurance after 45 and you've been with them for 10 years you're vested Okay. So you always get level two, worst case fucking scenario. So these are the things that are very important to me now, that 20 years ago they weren't important to me. When you're 25, insurance, if you get it, is great.

If not, who gives a fuck? I don't plan on fucking getting sick. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, you know what I'm saying? When you're 25, you don't plan on fucking getting sick anyway, you know? But you know that we need fucking, and what are you going to do in July? I'm going to do Obolacare, one of those things. You go look at see how much it is, yeah?

For you? No, is it expensive? Oh, no, no, it's $42. You can afford. I don't know. I thought it was like $100. Yeah, it's fucking expensive. Is it really?

Like, fuck yeah, look it up right now. It's got to cost. I thought it'd be like $100 a month or something. No, you're going to go for like $2.10 a month. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah, it's over. You're going to have to fucking walk around with a body cast out of it and a helmet looking straight. Because I know you, you won't get insurance.

You'll save the money. Oh, if it's fucking $300 a month or something, then it's going to suck. Everybody's complaining. I know people who have three kids. I know a lady who's got three kids and her husband. She said that she just went on the web page to check how much it would be. And it would be fucking 800, 900, 900 a month. You're a single fucking guy.

They're waiting for you. Oh, my God. They got a big glove with fucking glue on every finger. Stick it up with you the fucking culo. You know what I'm saying? Gag, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got. Well, how was your weekend? You had your wife left?

Oh, it was brutal. I missed the baby. Yeah. But what are you going to do? You know, listen, I always talk about making somebody's day. I made somebody's day. You know, I was really pissed. I didn't want her to go back a couple months ago

because I didn't like how they wouldn't pick her up. But you know what? Dad's sick. You know, God knows what he's got left. I didn't want him to pass. And for her to be sitting here and going, I could have gone. There's nothing going on here for her and a baby. Yeah.

What do we do? You know, my wife works three days a week, two days a week. Do you have the fucking days? If you take it to any of them, multiple of parks and we go eat lunch somewhere and we walk around we go to a more you know but as far as family i said what the fuck you you know go home for 10 days get your fix you know let them i think 10 days a little too long i think my wife fucked up again but that's you know she'll be begging me in six days all the things like come back i think she went too long you know but you know

what she got a she got bumped up she got a first class ticket on the way there the baby got a free ticket in first class because it was empty You know, she flew to Nashville on a Saturday, and there ain't nobody on the fucking planes. Are you guys disappointed you won't be together for Valentine's Day? Oh, yeah, yeah. Can't you see the pain in my heart? Who does the fuck lay you disappointed?

The fuck? What the fuck is Valentine's Day? It's a day hallmark made up to suck you dry. Yeah, I know, gee. That's all it is. It's a day hallmark. What plans do you have? What are you going to do?

Take Paul out and cough in the face? No, I'll be fine with it, but no, I dropped like $150 yesterday. because I had to get stuff for Paula, my mom, and then Paul told me her mom got me something, so I had to get her mom something. So where are you taking Paula Friday night? I don't know. We might do Saturday night.

We've been talking about that because it's so expensive and so busy on Valentine's Day. It's going to be packed everywhere, you know, and you're like, what the fuck? Yeah, me and Terry are really upset. Like, we're like, Jesus, we're not going to be Valentine's on. What are we going to do?

Who is up for a fuck? I told it would be, if it was slow, I was thinking of flying back. Okay. It's not going to work because she's flying back Tuesday. I got a podcast Monday morning. I have no time for that shit, you know. So it's great.

You know, you see your family, but Sunday is Sunday. I got to come back. I have shit to do on fucking Monday. Yeah. You know, and I'm happy. I made their day. They called and thanked me. They said, you know, thank.

I know it's hard for you to be a lot. It's not hard for me to be alone. I love it. I just think that my daughter should have a relationship. The grandfather. She should fucking know what the hell's going on. Drink something, please.

Stop coughing in the fucking mic cuck sucker. You're almost blew my ear drum off. I got eight things here. Eight things? But, uh... Eight things? A lot. Water and then soda.

Soda. What else? You got, you got clop drops. Oh, yeah. You got the fucking blast for your throat. You got a pussy hair stuck to eat. Got to eat some pussy when you got a fucking cough. That pussy juice helps it.

Did you know that? Look it up on whipped. It says, It says sex when you're sick helps. Yeah, Wikipedia. Well, they say sex, but think about it, you're huffing and puffing. It's eating that fucking monster. That little pussy juice.

Look at it up. Look at Wikipedia. Pussy juice. I'm not. They'll say pussy juice is tremendous for the fucking flu. And you don't want to swap spit and give it a fucking flu or sweat on her. It's eating that fucking muffler. There's something in that ass and that pussy that makes the flu just fucking vanish.

I wish. I'm telling you, it's fucking fact. If I had the flu, I'd eat that fucking monkey. sour pussy too two in the afternoon type pussy not even in the morning like two in the afternoon after they pissed a couple times

it's Monday cocksucker where's the music where's Tony Bennett you're fucking you're slipping today it's a beautiful day to be alive you're in it's a beautiful fucking world baby I want to be around

oh shit pick up the pieces when leave fucks in your fucking Oh shit. Somebody twice as smart as I A somebody who You know you're starting to look like Arlie Lang

your foot I was looking over and I go though That looks like Arlie Lack. I'm not that bad Got the beard from here I thought you, the wig They want to give you a wig, you know that right Steve Simone

Never wear a way. Will to pay. Company, where's the music? It's like to snap your fingers. Good to do you. Oh shit. Wait to leave. Let's see if the puzzle fits.

Are you kidding me or what? Are you fucking kidding me or what? What's happening, baby Lee? Nothing, dude. You know what's kind of where I want to get your opinion on stuff? When I was sick all weekend, I had ESPN on, and I would just wake up and see what was happening. And two things happened this weekend. What happened?

The guy, Oklahoma State, shoved a fan, and then last night an athlete came out as gay. And I thought, I just hate how both things were handled. Because, of course, the athlete, it was a black athlete, the white fan, and he got suspended, and everyone was saying how terrible he was. And, I mean, when you saw it, he fell, and his back was to the, fan and then the fan said something and then he went and shoved him and you know he said something fucking terrible

he's admitting to saying you're a piece of crap you know he said like the N-word and all that shit and then the gay guy which is fine with me but I'm not a fucking NFL player and no one on ESPN had the guts to say yeah they're not going to like it you know it's great how

everybody's applauding these gay fucking athletes coming out of the closet and I applaud it too you know it's great that we think nobody ever do these guys are the first guys in the 50s and 40s there's always some guy wants to dress up like a batman and I applaud

that they come out of the closet and stuff but what are they really doing they're causing a distraction even if they what are you really doing yeah you know I love black people love them to death the black history month a shout out I love black people but

they're not going to tolerate if you know anything about black people Anything about black fucking athletes is they're not going to tolerate that shit. They're not going to tolerate it. I don't give a fuck with, you know, there was rumors that Ricky Williams got traded from New Orleans because there was rumblings of the word gay. Really? People said we ain't going to a locker room with that motherfucker.

You know, it's just the way it is, people. It's just the way life is. You can't blame them. They're black athletes. They don't want to take showers. They don't want to do nothing. It causes too many fucking distractions. And even, like, let's say everyone was acceptable.

accepting of it. Now, for the entire year, all you're going to get is reporters, what is it like having a gay, gay teammate? Now, what team that drafted in the NFL? He's about to go to the combine and be drafted. Black kid or white kid? Black. But it's just, and I'm not saying don't say anything, but it's, no, everyone is so scared on ESPN of getting fired because they had a couple people say something and they got off, they got fired really quick. Like, it's just, they're in the NFL. I mean, I, like, I just imagine you being like an NFL player.

Listen, if I was an NFL player, it wouldn't bother me personally if somebody came out and said, I'm gay. I would say whatever. I'd give them a hug. I'd still block for him. I'd still throw him the ball. There's still human beings. But I'm not worried about me. It's a team effort.

There's 56 or 52 people on a fucking, on a roster. And you'll be with them all year. And there's 10 people are going to go, we hate fucking faggots. And they're going to rumble it, and it's going to grow like a fucking weed. Yeah.

And that's just the way life is, people. I'm not here to fucking speed it up or to say negative comments about it. I'm just telling you, what happened to the basketball player from last year came out of the class? Never got picked up. Okay, then.

I'm bullshitting you people. I'm bullshitting you fucking people. So whatever. It's great. But at the end of the day, I keep reading something about Alex Rodriguez. Yeah. So he's back.

No, no. He got suspended for, first it was like 200 games. He appealed it. It went to one full season. And he was saying he was going to go to spring training. And he was going to sue the whole league. And he finally realized that he was wasting too much money. And he just took his suspension.

He stopped suing everybody. And now he's going to be gone for the whole next year. So all next year. That's it. I mean, that's what they're saying. I mean, I don't know. The Yankees don't want to pay them. They still owe them like two or three years after this at like $25 million a year.

You know what I was thinking about? I was thinking about for the players in the 50s and 60s that were gay. And that did have to go into a locker room and did have to hear the rumblings and how bad they felt. Oh, it must be terrible. It must be terrible. So that's what you also have to consider on the other side people.

No matter what my comments or leaves are or the announcers on ESPN, there's two sides of this fucking coin. If you want to come out of the closet, that's fine. I'm happy for you and you're going to get hugs. And, oh, my God, you're such a great. But there's another side to that. fucking coin. You know, when it comes to the NBA or the NFL

or the fucking baseball, whatever fuck they are, it's a team. Yeah, it's a team. And there's going to be disagreement somewhere on that fucking team about it. And, you know, with the sports, it's going to be even more. They're not going to tell you about it at home. Those players that have a problem

with it aren't going to raise their hands on national TV, but it's going to be a fucking problem. Yeah. Are there any gay UFC fighters, do you think? You know, they jump up and down. each other's head there's got to be one of them with fucking tights is going to be one of them that's gay is he gonna come out I don't fucking know but I wouldn't put my sexual preference into this you know I'm saying I'm a fighter that's it I'm a

comedian it's got nothing to do whether I'm fucking gay or not I'm still gonna you know I'm saying yeah it's got nothing to do with who the fuck you are you know yes it I'm sorry to say yes it does but you're a comedian yeah that's your first label that's your first passion that's your job if I was gay it would be up to me to decide whether I want other medians to know, or I want the public to know. Yeah, exactly. But you got to remember, 60% of our choices today,

it's not like 1950. You know, in 1950, there was a guy on a team that had a roster, you know, a team roster of 50 people. There was one guy that was hardcore, fucking gay, and maybe one guy that was thinking about it. Today on a fucking team, there's 50 people.

There's got to be three gay guys and two guys that are thinking about it. They may be in the closet. They want a finger in their ass while they're eating their wife. Whatever the fuck, you know, whatever the fuck you want. Yeah. So you have to respect it, you know. God knows what's going to happen with this guy.

I wish him a lot of luck in the draft. You know, let's see what team he goes to. You know, you got to consider. You got to be honest with yourself. Rednecks, like those redneck football players from Texas, they ain't going to go for it. No. I don't know what's interesting.

I was watching yesterday on TV. They had a 30 for 30, but like the 51 Dons. It was like the 1940s First integrated College football team And they went fucking undefeated And like They went when they went to the south

Like they would get punched in the face And like And when they went 9 and 0 And they didn't give them a ball game And I can't imagine Have being discriminated like that It must be terrible Especially when you're doing the right thing

Yeah And he's a good player too Yeah Especially when you're doing the right thing I know Because if he's going drafted, he's getting going to the Columbines, he's got to be a tremendous athlete, a good fucking football player, a good student. All these things in general, you know, you raising your hand shows one type of bravery,

you know, one type of courage. But at the other, you have to be ready for what else is going to come with it. Yeah. And I don't think a lot of people are ready. I just don't. That's a tough thing to be on a team for people to look at you weird and for you. You know, and I talk about it from being insecure. Yeah.

I'm insecure without being fucking gay. You know what I'm saying? I've always been insecure. Maybe because I didn't know the language when I first moved to New York City. There was so many fucking things that I was insecure about. I can't imagine being gay on a national football team and traveling to hotel rooms

and these guys watching me now to see what I do at night. You know, the NFL has private investigators. Oh, sure. And they fucking follow you. You know, you're an invest. then I'm just going to hand over $3 million to you. So it's a very, I tell you what it is. To me, it's fucking hypocritical.

Because it's what society wants, but it's what society really doesn't want. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm sure the NFL wants it, but they don't want it. Supposedly they were going to make an announcement this year of a fucking prominent player that was gay.

And everybody was pointing their fingers at Aaron Rogers, the quarterback. Really? Oh. That's why he was accused of being gay. this season. Oh, I didn't know that. Because the NFL was going to point some people out that they, you know, the NFL made an announcement

that some people were gay. It's like a cliche now. You know, that's the new fucking norm also. You know, I was telling you guys, I'll tell you that my wife wants to take the baby to a daycare where Derek from Tainted Vision takes his child. There's a fucking waiting list. It's a really good daycare. Oh, the church.

And it's, did I talk about this last week? It's even Jewish kids, drive off from Orange County. and how the church was empty on Super Bowl Sunday and the church was at 10 o'clock and the Super Bowl was at 3.30 you know, where the fuck were these people? So all of a sudden they weren't fucking Christians.

You know, but that wasn't me to decide about. I forgot what the fuck I was going to say. See what happens when you smoke reading the morning? My decision was that how everything, especially in this town, is affected by your social status. You know, being gay and, Hollywood lifts your social status.

So to me, sometimes it worries me. I mean, I think this way that there's people that do certain things just to raise socially. You know, I was sitting once at the Goucho Grill in Hollywood, and this couple sat behind me. And I couldn't believe that there was anybody gayer than this guy behind me. Like, he was the gayest man in the world.

Then I figured how did he come up with the voice and the mannerisms, and the guy he was with trying to outdo. It was two guys trying to. outdo each other's gayness. Yeah. And it's kind of funny, but it's not funny. And I was trying to figure out which one of these guys was really straight,

but was being gay just to be accepted into a social thing. Okay. So if you take it in the ass just to hang out with a bunch of people, you'd be surprised at what people are going to do in these days just to advance socially. Yeah. Is that when you came up with that joke about like real faggots and stuff? In a way, yeah. In a way, that bothered me.

I grew up, when I grew up in Jersey, my mom had the bar. My mom had friends that were fucking real gay guys. Yeah. And they didn't act like, oh, my God, but whatever. They just were a little bit effeminate, but the rest of them was manly. Yeah. You know, they're still men, yeah. Yeah, they're still men.

I could see where maybe, yeah, that guy could be gay. And I would ask my mother, and she would make a joke, and we laugh and giggle. And, you know, they would move on. But I understood. These guys now are like. overly fucking gay and they can't nobody's that fucking gay yeah no it's uh

it's great and you you hate to think about it because he was a good player but everyone who came on and said he's like yeah a third or fourth or fifth round pick he's gonna be a good player but he's not like the star so now you're thinking oh maybe he's just doing it to get his name out there right before the combine like a linebacker I think or

defensive end he was a co-defensive player the year for the SEC so he's a good player but everybody all the people all who on ESPN said oh yeah he's like a third round fulls run back. So you wouldn't even notice them usually. Hey, fucking Twitch is on. You know, I mean, you, uh, you, uh, whatever the fuck, I don't give a fuck.

You just blew this on me, you know what I'm saying? You just dropped this motherfucker on me and I like it. Oh shit. Look at Lee talking about faggy players. No, you know, they got to deal with it. And it's a media thing also. Now, you know, when Jeremy Lynn, what's his name? The Asian basketball player?

It opened up new doors for the NBA. So now I really. NBA teams over there picking up Chinese people. Oh, yeah. Because they know that they're a fucking cash registered. Oh, fuck you. They're a cash registered. You know, God forbid, this guy does start.

God forbid this guy does go to a Pro Bowl. I would love it. You know, what would they do now? That means one, two, three. To answer your question, Liz Carmucci is gay. But she's a chick in the UFC. Oh, yeah, yeah. She's the one that's fighting, Misha Tate.

So she's openly gay. And it's weird how it's different for girls. I don't know if it's guys. think it's a fantasy or something, but like when you said that, I know Liz Camus is gay, but it just, it doesn't seem as, it seems as different. You know, she's got tattoos and she fights, so

she's got to be something other than, you know, but look at Rhonda Rouse. I don't think she's gay, right? I don't know. Tate's got to go. So, yeah, like I said, but she didn't make a big deal of it. She's just gay and when she fights, it brings out a big gay. And she was Marine, wasn't she? Yeah, she was a Marine or an army girl. Yeah,

yeah, yeah, it doesn't matter. You know, and that's what I'm saying. It's what you let it be, of you. I don't like the people I've said this a thousand times that hold it against you that they're gay. Like, I'm gay, I'm better than you because I'm better than you because I tell people that I'm gay. Like, I tell somebody a secret.

I tell somebody your secret too. I was hooked on below for 26 fucking years. I tell somebody my ass smells funny. I tell people's secrets fucking too. What's the matter? Are you everything all right over there? Yeah, everything's is great. You're uncomfortable? You're all right? I'm perfect. You're sure? Yeah. You're moving around.

No, I understand what you're saying. The people, like, I'm really impressed with it, like, the soldiers, like, there's a lot of gay soldiers who had to go through the Don't Ask, Don't Tell. And they never seem to be the ones who were flaunting. How does Don't Ask Don't Tell work? I think that's gone now. I think in the last year or two it got rescinded. And they were upset about it for a little bit.

But before, like, Clinton put it in. And it's just, you just don't, we're not going to ask you about it. and don't really publicize it, and then you're fine, because before that, they weren't even allowed in. And I think Obama rescinded it, and now you're allowed to be, like,

legally, like, gay in the Army and stuff. And some of the old guys were really upset about it, but I don't think that has well been any stories about it. You know, I crack jokes on it, but it doesn't bother me. If somebody's gay, like I said,

I just don't like when people look down on me, like they, I'm gay. It's like the same people say to me, you know, 30 years, you know, like when I go, hey, you want to smoke a joint? And they'll try to be cool by making you feel a little bad about why. I've been cleaning soap from drugs for nine years and I don't even eat sugar. And they're like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

You know? Yeah. So, who gives a fuck? What do you do? I ask you a question, if you wanted to smoke this or not. That was the fucking question. Yeah. So I'm the same way when it comes to a lot of fucking topics, you know, that, you know,

and by the way, you know how many fucking emails I answered the last? nine how many 93 fucking email in one week and 70 of them were about addiction wow so yeah I think it's time for me to write that to write that look on addiction

because it does strike a big everybody's fucking hooked on something yeah absolutely everybody's fucking hooked on something it's really it's either the fucking pills and I think of different chapters like I was I was outlining

different chapters and how my addiction group and how there was one point where I like to bring party with six or seven people and then there was one time where I just wanted to be alone and if I brought a girl over sometimes you bring a girl over and all of a sudden on the way where she go I text a friend of mine she went no no I might as well tell you no I don't want nobody else over there it's either you me or you could stay home I got enough blow for me alone and I'm cutting you in you know it's it's really weird how your addiction works so I'm happy that there was a lot of people who said that they didn't even know why they were telling me this in their emails.

So I'm really happy that you wrote the emails. That means that you took the first fucking step. That's awesome. And that's taking the first fucking step sometimes is being honest at yourself and saying, hey, man, this is what I got. Who shot that fucking duck, Lisa? When was the last time you shot a duck like that, huh? Oh, I had some crazy farts this weekend. Sure, that matter of that, hummus?

I love it. I love it. I love calling you and telling you I'm going to Mediterranean. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. And you're like, yeah, I'm going to have some meat and some salad. You're going to eat the fucking hummus? No, it's fucking good.

And the potato chips and the stop with the green. What's on it? On the Greek salad? Don't forget about me, Vicki. Yeah, right now. Yeah, it's a quarter of seven. Bye. What, it's just, it's rice, grilled steak, a little bit of Greek salad and some hummus.

That's it. And what else you eat over there? That's it. They have chicken, too, but I get the steak. But don't they have a dessert, like a flying fucking deep cake or something, like flies through the air and you catch it? Not really. They might have boclova over there, but that's...

How many times you eat that Mediterranean food a week? It used to be like two or three times. I used to live right across the street from it. But now it's like, well, maybe once or twice. You're once or twice a day over there. What once or twice over? If I lived closer, if we had gotten in the office right next to it, I would have been there every day.

You like it that much? It's delicious. It's grilled steak or grilled chicken. And you eat the same shit every day. Yeah, it's healthy. It's rice and fucking salad. Jesus, rice and salad. So you're trying to fucking tell me.

What's going on, Vicki Peza? What's going on, guys? How are you? I'm sitting over here crossing this fucking Jew, telling me that, you know, he eats that fucking hummus and that Mediterranean food that's good for you.

And I know that shit's got to fuck up your asshole somewhere along the line. Some other guy... Some other guy was on my email page the other day on my fucking Twitter page talking about halal meat. What the fuck is halal meat? H-A-L-L-A-L-L-Meet. It's like Muslim kosher. People drive from New York, from Jersey. I had a stop.

I'm like, I don't know what fucking part of Jersey you're from. My friends don't drive over the fucking city to eat no halal meat. So get it together, Cox. Oh yeah, no, we don't. Why would I drive over there when I got the best fucking pizza in my neighborhood? Yeah, seriously. Yeah, no. There's no need to drive over for food.

There's no lack of food in New Jersey. I talked to my brother George this morning. This is a kid that I've known for 35 fucking years. I love him with all my heart. But once a week, he fucking disgust me by his fucking food choices living in New Jersey. Because, like I said, I got three restaurants right in my fucking, I could walk to the world class Chinese food, Chan's Dragon

you got the fucking Rudy's Colamar where they got the chicken white wine they got the pasta and all that it's been there for 40 fucking years we used to walk up there in high school Vicki Peasant and then you got this place to Alberto's Cuban food

just tremendous and every fucking time I talk to George once a week he's depressing like yesterday he said he went to some Al Salvadorian food and they ate papoosa in West New York New Jersey if I could fucking stab him I would stabbing right in the fucking neck, but what are you going to do, Vicky Paz?

I got problems, you know what I'm saying? What's happening, you sexy savage? Tell me something good. Oh, my God, how are you guys? Yeah, and, like, back in Belleville, there was, like, this deli, like, at the end of the block. Like, you can walk and get amazing food. I can't find, like, a good deli in L.A., like, where it's close enough for me to get my cold cuts and salads and things like that.

Like, I just go to the supermarket now. Rouse has co-cuts They got the Thumans Which is whatever the fuck they call out here But the problem with those motherfuckers It's two things They don't know how to slice the meat They slice it too thick

And they don't know how to package the meat You're supposed to package it with paper That's what keeps it fucking fresh It keeps the American cheese Fucking folding You go to Rouse The cheese last two fucking days Because they cut it like it's thick

Like it's a bulletproof fucking cheese It's not going to be shot in a sandwich And they fuck You know it's amazing Now I go to Gelson's and I get the cold cuts Here's the difference They packets of co-cuts distinctively They slice them thin

They're impeccable I can go home right now And get the co-cuts I got on Friday The cheese It still bends in your finger You know me I'm yellow American All the way to the fucking death

These fucking these confused Gentiles They eat this fucking cheddar cheese Let me catch somebody Eating cheddar cheese around me I'm gonna fucking stab them That's the fucking Gentiles All right With people who their last

name is Smith. You don't eat that shit, Lee, okay? You eat American cheese, yellow, if you have to eat the beige, whatever, but you go for the yellow. Why fuck around? Cheddar cheese is for people in the Midwest who see wings once a month and they jump up and down, cheddar cheese,

you know. And you want that yellow American thinly thinly sliced. It's got a bend in your finger. You end up with one big clump of cheese stuck together. Thank you. Instead of the nice bin sliced.

Thank you. These fucking savages don't know dick. It just fucking kills me. I'm going to tell you, my favorite thing that you bring up is the ranch dressing and how just fucking out of hand it is here. Destroying, and then they wonder why they're dying of cancer, and their kids are a bunch of faggots walking around getting beat up and shit. Because they drink that fucking ranch asshole dressing. That's all that is is asswash. It's like if an asshole got a yeast infection, that's what it would be. Ranch fucking dressing.

The next time you put it on your french fries, you fucking jerk off on your wings, think of fucking an asshole leaking from getting fingered all weekend. They're fucking disgusting. Fucking disgusting. There's already the perfect condiment for that sort of thing. It's called blue cheese, and that's how you eat buffalo wings, and that's the end. There is no discussion because there's no other way to do it.

Listen, dog, I've been going. Me and my wife, they got this new lunch fucking. deal over at Artie Morton's. They got a lunch deal. For 2995, you get three courses. But that's one lunch deal they have. Then they have this lunch deal. They got like a $12 menu.

And they got a prime rib sandwich. They got a cheeseburger, which fucko got over there. On a Friday. And they got all this shit. What was I going to say here? What's wrong with me today? What the fuck is it? Was it the $10 grill cheese?

The $10 cheese? That's what you were really excited about when you saw it. But it's so weird how everything I go in there for is tremendous, Vicky Pez. They don't have this shit no more. I can't go anywhere where I feel at home with the menu A, the fucking Z. I think that's what I was going to say. I don't even know.

Who knows? Right. I know. Like, everything's like you're negotiating, like you're settling. Like, you're settling. Like, things are good. But it's not great. You don't have that nice comfort like you would back home?

No, no, no, no. I like, you know, it's funny how now, for years, when I came out here, Vicki Pez, I had a friend that was a publicist, and she asked me once if I had a resume, and I go, a biography, a bio. And I go, not really. And she goes, let me write it for you. I told her where I was from, and the next day she gave me the bio, and it said from Hell's Kitchen, New York, and I said, but I'm not from Hell's Kitchen.

I'm from Jersey. Why did you put that down? And she goes, it's not cool being from Jersey. She goes, it's not. Nobody, she goes, except for Springsteen and Monjovi, and that was years ago. Nobody knows who the fuck Jersey is. Now Jersey's everywhere. We got the cake boss.

We got the sopranos. We got the fucking mob chicks. The fucking, what's the name of that show? Mob wives, which is fucking disgusting. I tried watching it two weeks ago. I couldn't stop laughing. But it's amazing how everything's pointing at New Jersey now. They had the fucking Super Bowl in New Jersey.

How desperate were those poor fucking people? Oh my God Even watching that Like every time someone was saying New York And I get it It's because of the giant And I get it And we you know

We've been dealing with that our whole life But it's like They are not in New York They are in one percent New Jersey Get it right And oh my God They must have been freezing their asses off

What a fucking nightmare That must have been People who like crowd Yeah was at the Super Bowl In Jersey Freezing like a fucking Mo Mo you had to wait for a train that never came in the fucking darkness

you couldn't get on Route 3 unless my buddy Steve Avila who I loved had a, I did a show at a bar behind the Mellan those poor basses the guy charged $60 a ticket or you could eat

but you still had to pay for your cocktails they had like 10 fucking people they had to get there three hours before the show and then wait till the soup bowl's over so that whole day was ruined The whole fucking day was ruined Because they couldn't go nowhere on Route 3

Because they closed it down I thought that was the worst idea ever Having the soup bowl in fucking New Jersey I didn't like it Rogan had a show and he asked me 10 times to come back And I was like not in a million fucking years I definitely thought there was going to be terrorism Right

Yeah it's crazy Like it's such a weird area Like near that stadium If you guys listening don't know It's so like I don't even want to say industrial because it's not It's almost like swampy

It's weird over there It's swampy meets industrial It's swampy meets industrial It's all East Rutherford Munaki Sea Caucus Let me tell you some They used to, when I was a kid There was a place of Munaki called Segovia

It's still there It's a Spanish joint It's like paella And shrimp and garlic sauce And cream of shrimp soup soup Look at Lee, your asshole would go on fire there. I remember going there in 1982 and getting the surfing turf, and the steak would fall off the dish with the fucking lobster tail.

And it was in such a shitty fucking area. It was in such a shit fucking area. And let me tell you something about Munozaki, New Jersey. It's like the Twilight Zone. The ugliest people in the world live in Munozaki, New Jersey. Everybody's got a big head. Everybody's got a two-foot-fucking-plus length head. It's fucking amazing.

It's like they all got shot with radio active waste. Something is not right in Munoaki, fucking New Jersey. I don't want to do nothing behind there. And they just opened up another comedy club in Sea Caucus. I mean, that area is fucking booming. That area is fucking booming right now. Yeah. The hotels weren't ready.

They were like Soshi. The hotels were like in Sosci shit. Because they were building a bunch of hotels by Newark, but they couldn't get them finished for the fucking Super Bowl. So it was like they were giving people fucking brown water at the hotels. It was, and I get it. I get it. Now, you know, it kills me

about New Jersey, get all this political backwash with the fucking governor, which, you know, the rest of the country acts like, oh my God, what the hell's going on in New Jersey? Stupid motherfuckers, this has been going on for the last 3,000 fucking years in New Jersey. It's so hilarious.

It's so hilarious to me. Right. When that bridge thing first came out, all right, first of all, my reaction was like, that hilarious, which is the wrong reaction to have. You know, it's like, oh, man, he really went for it.

You know, it's so blatantly corrupt, but this is nothing new at all. I mean, Corzine was very corrupt also. That's why you have a Republican in power in the first place in New Jersey. It's business as usual. What I think it is is like Christy probably seems like a pretty good Republican contender for the next election and shit's getting started now. It's so funny to me that any New Jersey politics would be such a nationwide story.

They're lucky they weren't paying. They're lucky there was no internet when I was growing up. They're lucky that there weren't national, you know, were Tides, Reuters and stuff like that. There really weren't big national networks that you call. caught the news, you know, they really picked and shoes. Sorry about me and Lee coughing. Lee's got the flu. He ate some badass.

Oh, no. And I just got fucking reef a fucking throat from smoking weed off fucking week, and I got to stop. But it's amazing how I've been turned off to life's politics because of the politics I encountered in early age in New Jersey. Do you get, do you see what I'm saying to you? Like when I hear something about. some politician now, it's very so what to me because of what I grew up around. You know, I get it, though.

I do get it. It's a little bit, it's a little bit laughable, you know, just the way everyone made such a, and I'm not saying it's not a big deal. I think I agree with you where it's like I guess I'm just numbed to what a big deal it is, which I guess isn't good. It's laughable but sad because I look at something like my wife. I look at somebody like my wife who was raised to respect the flag and raised to respect the country, just how I was.

And once you see that type of stuff, it's not that you lose respect, it's that you lose that glee in your eye. Like when I see her talking about the American political system, she still has faith. She still has a hope. Where for me, I know it's a bunch of thieves with suits on. It's just a different way of robbing and corrupting.

You want your fucking vitamin to pass? You wanted to get FDA approval. Give me $300,000 for my campaign. I'll talk to them, and then we'll shut them down. If they don't, it's all fucking money in politics. It's advertising without the fucking advertising. And the people that are involved in this aren't decent people. I are decent people.

It's people that we've done business with for hundreds of years, whether it's a vitamin company or an aspirin company. So they're all, you know, once you see what politics is really about how the money changes and how a bill gets passed or how it doesn't get to pass, and that's what most Americans don't know. We take that thing for granted when you see these e-cigarettes, for example. Okay? Let's start with these e-cigarettes, for example. You know, this has probably been going on for six or seven years. Somebody went to a doctor and said, I devised a way to make an e-cigarette.

Now who's the first people that would shut you down if you put together an e-cigarette? The e-fucking people, the cigarette people. Right. So who are they going to go to the cop? Yeah, so who are they going to go to the mafia to beat you up? They're going to write to Congress and say, shut that down. And then these people went away, but they had to get enough voices to say this is healthy or unhealthy for you. So, yeah, this is a healthy product for you in a way.

but guess who owns this when you look at the paperwork? Marlborough. Right, and now they've found a way to bring smoking back to being advertised on television, and now you have Stephen Dorff and Jenny McCarthy essentially smoking cigarettes on TV, but now there's a loophole. It's amazing how things change,

because the people who have the money to do this aren't your small business owners to pass these laws. You know, when I pass a zoning for me to have my waste from my warehouse to be dumped in some river, you know, even though we know that that's harmful products that you're pumping into that river. But for a payout, I'll look the other fucking way because my kids don't drink out of that fucking river. Right. So once you see politics for what it is, you get, I don't know what you get to it. You get kind of, yeah, like you said, you get kind of numb to it. breaks my heart because what my

wife reacts to it, I wipe my ass with it. I look at her, are you serious? Are you fucking serious? Don't you see the fucking move here? And she'll look at me like, what the fuck are you talking about? Well, let me tell you, let me break it down for you. Then she'll go, you're so cynical. Is that the word people use?

They'll say you're such a cynic or whatever. No, I'm not a cynic. I'm telling you because I grew up around this and then a year later, when the shit backwashes you go, look, didn't I fucking tell you? What else is going on, Vicki Pez? It's true. Oh, man, I don't know.

I almost slept too long for this. There's that. Trust me, I almost fucking slept too long. I went to bed like 10.30. I was smoking too much yesterday, I think. Yeah, I got pretty high last night, and I went to bed at 10.30. And I got up at 3 the first time. Then I got up at 4, and I'm like, oh, shit, I got to get up in 38 minutes.

And I got a new alarm. I use the alarm on the iPhone, which sounds like the world's going to end. Have you been walking up by the alarm on the iPhone? You think the world's going to end. It's like three degrees worse than a fire alarm. It's like, dun, dun, dun, dun, da, da, da. You wake up, the whole hotel is banging up.

I mean, I put it on in the hotel one night when I fucking left the room. I could see people like perturbed. It went on like a five and six. It's a horrible alarm, the iPhone. You don't want it to. to go off. You sit there. If you wake up an hour before the alarm goes off,

you're like, fuck, I'm just going to sit up and wait for this thing because I don't want this thing to go off. It sets my central nervous system into a fucking complete oblivion, so I didn't want to get up this morning either. I wasn't in a fucking mood either. What do you got coming up with Uncle Sam? Sam called in last week, and it was a real pleasure to get a mind.

He's a good dude, Sam Tripp. I listened to you guys talk about, you know, like your back in the day stories it was really really great to think of a Sam as like a young punk kid I just find that awesome

it's amazing that these guys were young when I moved here and they're still young you know I was 30 something when I moved here and now I'm fucking 50 right so if I've been here 17 years I pretty much got here when I was 33 years old guys like that's fucking long

in the tooth jack but that's so encouraging because to see the things you do now it's amazing you know sometimes I feel like oh did I wait too long I got here when I was like 26 I've been here like six years

and I'm always like oh man like I wish I came sooner like I wish I came like right out of college but honestly I don't I don't know if I would have even known what I was doing you know what I mean like that might have been too young I might have just fucked it up in a few months or a year and been right back home by now. It's amazing what you could and what you can't handle a young age.

And I've seen it here. You know, I shot a couple of years. The other night I was sitting there watching TV and I caught on Carlito's Way the sequel they did. Did you ever see that movie? Fucking horrific. Fucking horrific. And the beauty of it was that they spoke to me about that movie. I shot the pilot for Lewis Guzman at Fox.

And the same producer, Marty Bregman, Jr., who was on that pilot, shot that movie. And right then, I remembered, oh, my God, they talked to me about this fucking movie. I didn't even know they made the fucking thing. So naturally, I wanted to see who played a young Al Pacino, and some Spanish kid. But there was a girl in the movie

who was also in the pilot. it. And I'll never forget that there was 20 fucking people there dressed in suits and women with nice dresses that worked at Fox to see this girl. Like she was the next

big thing. She was the next Jennifer Lopez. She was Puerto Rican. She was from New York City. She was beautiful. She had that white look to her. She had straight hair so they could do shampoo commercials with her. I mean, it was fucking amazing. Her agency was there.

They were 30 deep. There was a black kid in the pilot, who I saw years later in the Sopranos. Him too. They told him to be the next Eddie Murphy. There was people there to see him. Guess what? Where the fuck are these people today? So right from that chair, I saw that girl, and I was like, what the fuck happened to that girl?

I got up, ran to the computer and put I MDB on. She hasn't worked since 2006. That was the last thing she did. Holy shit. You know, there was a girl when I first. fucking got here that was at a somebody from CBS or one of those companies was in New Orleans for a golf tournament and they put the TV on there in their hotel room and she was on national access what's that local access TV and they saw her and within three days they had her in

Hollywood they gave her a half a million dollars they flew her family out to fucking LA because my buddy was friends with her and he was telling me the story about what happened and I'm like what And here I am at the store every night doing blow And fucking, you know And I can't even get arrested And here's these girls That this court girl was 19 to 20 years old So they grab her up here

They bring her up here NBC throws on a cyanide live She doesn't make the cut But they throw on a sketch show on Fox Some sketch show Either the one Shane Mattash was on Or one of those 10 years ago Well the fucking show

Went into two seasons this girl had over her thing that she was a princess her whole her whole what do you call that shit her green where you change

her whole dressing room was like designed to be a castle and she was a princess and all this show and guess what bitch the show got canceled and that bitch gained 80 fucking pounds I just saw her in Hollywood Boulevard

with a kid fat with a fucking guitar and now she takes photographs for a living. She's like a headshot photographer for a living. And I sat here and I said, and I remember that girl couldn't handle it. There's people who can't handle that success at that young age. It's too much for them.

Can you imagine if you came out here in a way where it was like, we're going to bring you out and your family and here's money and here's already a job? And could you even imagine the fall from that? Like in your head, you're thinking like, This is the Hollywood's all about. Like, this is my life now. And it's like, no. You know how many fucking comedians I saw at the store

when I was fighting for my life that they gave deals to? Gave them half a million dollars. And these guys are now gone, broke, back in their hometown. Because a half million dollars after taxes is a quarter mill. You still got to pay your fucking commissions. Right. Which is nothing. And now you buy it.

a house. You're like, fuck it, I'm buying a house. You buy a house out here and the deal don't get picked up. You know, it's amazing. It's fucking amazing what happens to people. You know, that's why people, they talk about this poor Justin Bieber, and I shouldn't say poor Justin Bieber,

but they don't understand what happens to you. They don't understand the creepiness that goes with, it's not just the money. It's the creepiness. It's what you see people, how you see people react in this town.

You know, I see people sometimes how I'll go into a 7-11, also in one personal look at me and go, oh my God, you're the guy from Grudge Match. Holy shit, and I'm like, I'm like, guy, relax. I just robbed a bitch two weeks ago. You know what I'm saying? Like, I just fucking stole coffee at the airport. And you're jumping

up and down over some fucking fat dude that was in some fucking dumb movie. You know, it's amazing. It's amazing to respect we give these people. So I can't imagine someone like Justin Bieber. who gets on a plane and the fucking stewardess wants to take a picture of him for her niece and you must have this power and this sense of entitlement

and to get that so young like him and mili cyrus and where it's like you're you're already a multi-millionaire before you're 18 years old and everyone knows you and everyone loves you they all want pictures they all want to party with you i can't imagine having access uh just to that kind of of never-ending fucking party at that age. I can't imagine that I can handle it better. I don't know how they can come out and perform in these situations that they're in. Like as kids.

And what do you mean that age? Ten years ago, if I was doing what I was doing now with the podcast with Lee, I'd miss at least three podcasts a month. Ten years ago, at the age of 40, I still couldn't keep it together. I do that last line of Coke at 545 and then call you and go, Lee, I'm sick.

No podcast, but it. Call Vicki Peza. You know, I couldn't do anything. So it's not even the age of 19 or the age of 21. I know grown men that couldn't keep it fucking together. You know, this fucking idiot, I just seen him last night in the movie Heat. What was that idiot's name?

That hooked up with the fucking madam and went off the fucking... You know who I'm talking about? Oh, Charlie Sheen? or Tom Seismore? You know, look what happened to adults in this town. Look what happened to Michael fucking Jackson. The guy was 50 and he was inhaling

the fucking shit that they give to people before they have surgeries and shit like that. That's crazy. Like, I'm sorry. That's, like, that's access to drugs that you wouldn't even think of. Like, to have your own anesthesiologist on hand? Who the fuck thinks to even do that?

But billionaires, like Michael Jackson, they can do this kind of shit. So the other hand. It's so hard to say, like, oh, I'd be able to handle it because you don't know. No. And then I look at people like, let's say Brad Pitt. Let's say George Clooney. If I was Brad Pitt, do you know the things I would have done the women in this town? If I look like Brad Pitt, do you have any, after three years of people, women going up to you're saying,

and you're fucking gorgeous because that's what you tell Brad Pitt, correct? Oh, yeah. I can't, it's like when you see that girl at a strip club and she's half naked as a man and you lose your mind and you go up to him and you go, you're fucking hot and I want to suck your fucking twat. You say something disgusting.

Women have to say something disgusting to Brad Pitt. I mean, I can't. I'm thinking from the other side of the spectrum. I'm thinking if I was a woman and I saw a man who looked like Brad Pitt come into a fucking bar and I had three cocktails in the line of blowing me

and a grandma blow in my pocket. What would I say to Brad Pitt? I go up to him and go, honey, you're fucking gorgeous. And if I had 10 minutes, I'd suck your fucking cock. After you have women say that to you eventually, you're going to go, you know what? I'm going to go on and get myself five women tonight. I'm going to lay them all down.

I'm going to sprinkle Coke on him. I'm going to fuck him, light him. You know, I'm just going to do shit, but he never lost it. So I have to give a guy where I can. a guy like George Clooney, a guy like Andy Garcia, who you never really read anything negative about. Right.

You never really, even Andy Garcia was here at a young age. Brad Pitt was here at a young age. You know, there's a way to handle yourself and there's a way not to handle yourself. There's a way to, if you want people to see you and know your business, people won't know your business. If you don't want them to know your business and you don't want the paparazzi to see you,

the paparazzi won't fucking see you you know what's that fucking moron pirate of the Caribbean I love him Johnny Depp Johnny Depp

I love that fucking dude but here's a guy that bad mounts America remember I'm going to England because of the United where you were out every night guy on sunset you know like

didn't he own the viper room he owned the fucking viper room for a while I mean he was like he owned it like when River Phoenix was like, you know, dying

from a speedball. Like, you know, you're immersing yourself in a very specific American culture there, Johnny Depp. So, yeah, maybe you can burn out on that. It's so weird. I enjoy it here. You know, Vicki Pezzo, when I came

here, I didn't have any dreams of stardom. I never wanted a limo. I don't want to be in a convertible. I don't want people calling me Mr. Fucking Diaz. You know, can I get you a water? Mr. Diaz. Is there anything I can do?

I hate all that fucking nonsense. It drives me... I couldn't imagine having a personal assistant. Did you know that? I couldn't imagine. Once I come to you, Lee, and I go, I need a personal assistant.

Just stab me. Just slice me in the neck from behind. I'll understand. When I'm in the hospital, stitching up, I'll look at you and go, Lee, you suck dick, and you go, no, no, no. You told me to stab you

if you ever thought about having a personal assistant. I'm your friend, and I'm just stabbing you because you told me to fucking stab. You can't press charges on me. Remember what I'm saying to you? Remember this episode number late, just in case. I never understood.

I'm writing it down right now. I never understood all the things, the importance that, the self-importance that they put on themselves. You know, and people get mad at me sometimes. Like, the church of what's happening now, it's not about what's happened now.

It's about sometimes you talk about your past. Well, the past is what keeps you honest. I don't ever want to go back to what. addiction. I don't ever want to go back to prison. I don't ever want to go back to living in a one fucking room apartment with my wife with nine cats, you know, and two air conditioners and direct TV. We're living like Puerto Ricans. You know, we had a great apartment, but, you know, I don't ever want to. And that's why you have to keep those things so close to your rearview mirror. Because you never want to go through those things fucking again. You know, I never want to go

through that drug addiction I had again. Never, ever, ever do I want to think that I have to get in the car and go to Hollywood or three in the morning and get a package of Coke or I couldn't do it again. I don't think I had the heart to do it again. So that's what's all about, Vicki Beza. Oh, man.

Aren't you happy you're not a fuck up? Yeah. I mean, like that is one thing, like with drugs, you know, that I see here. It's like, man, It is such a fine line between, like, you can have fun and how some people it just grabs them and it won't let go to the point where it's like you can't. Some people, then, they can't have a sip of beer. They can't have a cup of a joint because that will just send them into the domino effect of a very fucking bad thing.

With me, it was three drinks. Yeah, that's the line. With me, I would walk in, I would walk in. you know I started in 79 I didn't drink and then I realized one day after like two years of doing blow not getting high that I had a drink to get high so then I would have a drink with the cocaine and then I said fuck it I wouldn't do coke I'd just have a drink

I can't go to a bar not be sociable so I'd have my first in those days I drank like southern comfort orange juice or doers on the rocks the second one would be enjoyable by the third one I needed blow you know that's when I said to myself I can't believe I knew what I was doing from the beginning. I was feeding the fucking fire. I'm not a fucking idiot.

We're not idiots. We know exactly what the fuck we're doing. And it's hysterical how an addiction grows and it becomes something else and it becomes something else. We spoke about this last week after the Phillips Seymour Hoffman thing. And you see it here.

You see it here. Oh, my God. Because let me tell you something, Vicki Pezz. And I know you've noticed this in the six years you've been here. There's a very thin line between talent and mental illness. Yeah.

I've definitely noticed that. You go to the store on a fucking Monday night for open mic. You go to the ha-ha for an open mic. You go to a couple of these open mics. You know, I went to a farmer's market last week, and there was a girl singing. I'm surprised somebody didn't hit it with a truck. I'm really surprised somebody didn't hit him with a fucking Papusa truck or runner over.

And I didn't say nothing. it was my wife who turned to me and said look at that lady she's three days away from getting picked up and it was sad there's a thin line between a genius and mental illness which we know but it's also talent and mental illness if you come here

it's fucking close it's fucking very thin then you see the desperation and that's mental illness yeah it's the weirdest it's the weirdest it's the weirdest combination like personality.

When you come here and it's like, there's a lot of talent and there's a lot of issues, and then you're, the ship that you're subjected to on a daily basis, I just don't feel like a lot of people could live like that because it's a lot of rejection, it's a lot of disappointment. But then there's also like really high highs,

like really good things will happen. And it's just the struggle, to like keep that going or keep that high going or you know you always you always try to get the good things to outweigh the bad things and you start throwing so you like you have a lifestyle like that and you start throwing like uh you know mental issues in there or emotional problems or addiction and it it's a crazy stew of just fucking anarchy i'm very lucky to have made the progress I did I was a working addict you know I was a one of those people who could still have an addiction and work and continue it I wasn't doing you know while you're doing it

you're like I'm giving my life 100% of my life but you know that you're really not right especially in hindsight yeah I was giving my life really 50% of it the other 50% of that talent was being wasted thinking about the powder and thinking about I was going to put together my next high and I'm very fortunate that I snapped out of it. I'm very fortunate that I ended up going to a rehab. You know, when I first moved to L.A., the building I lived in with Josh Wolfe was a very active

building. It was 14. It was 1740 North Vista. 1440 North Vista, something like that. It was right behind Elcompatre across my guitar center on that block. Oh, wow. Nice. Right? That block and that block was hell.

That block had hot chicks. That block had fucking hot guys, but what it had was drug dealers. And on the building, I lived at the third floor was a Coke dealer, like a tremendous Coke dealer, like a real, this is what his family did, a Mexican kid that had long hair. And he went out every night, and he slung drugs. Then on the second floor was a real weed dealer. He was a promoter of black clubs.

By the same time, that was his main money, was dealing high-level Jamaican weed. but on the first floor lived a girl a lesbian couple that they were on heroin and they were both trust-fund babies that had come out here

trust-fund girls that had come out here and they were both on heroin and I used to have conversations with them by the pool and it was amazing what I learned from watching these two chicks

like they wouldn't take showers with soap because it would take the they would clean their pores and they didn't want their pores to be clean. Oh my God. They wanted their pores to be clogged

so they couldn't sweat the heroin out. Oh my God. It was fucking amazing the things they used to tell me how they would use chocolate to act of it. I don't know all the stuff. I don't know that lifestyle. And then it dawned on me.

Like, they were like, I go, where do you guys get the heroin? Do you go downtown? Do you go to a Mexican neighbor? And they go, no, two blocks away in Hollywood. And I go, what if that guy's closed? And they're like, when we go to the other two blocks other directions in Hollywood. Right.

Yeah. There was a very big heroin neighborhood in Hollywood that nobody knew about that these people. And you have to, and then you have to, you know, when you look at all the reports about cocaine, they say that, I forget how many tons come into the country monthly of cocaine. But me and my coke dot delusion when that, I cut that up. And it's like broken down into eight balls. It's like 30 million fucking eight balls a month a state would have to do. Somebody's doing these fucking eight balls. The same thing with this meth we read about.

There's tons of meth being produced. Somebody's doing it. We may not know these people. Just because we don't know them doesn't mean it's not going on. It's like when you open up the fucking newspaper in the mornings and there's a DUI and a family of six gets killed by a drunk driver. just because you don't know those people you say to yourself that's never going to happen to me

it's us that's us we're connected in some way or another we just it's the same thing with drugs just because we don't have friends that do meth or we're not there's a meth circle somebody's walking around with fucked up teeth and bad breath and fucking

and it's freaky because you read you know well for me at least when I read about Philip Seymour often I was shocked Like, it never would have dawned on me. Like, he's the last guy I would have ever thought would die from overdosing on heroin. And then it makes you think to yourself, well, do I really not know people like this? Or are there people like this all around me?

And maybe my friends, maybe people I see all the time. And I just don't know this is what they're doing. I have three or four friends, Vicki Pez. I know for a fact I'm on tremendous amount of pills that we don't even discuss. I don't even discuss it with them. I love them that much that I don't really give a fuck, but I know for a fact. I know that two of them are an AA.

So they're not drinking, but the doctors are giving them other pills to cope with things. Which, again, I'm not mad at. I'm an insecure fucking pussy. I smoke dope all fucking day. But don't tell me you're clean and you're doing pills. Right. You know, the biggest problem we have in this country right now

is not the cocaine. It's not the heroin they're pushing on you. It's prescription fucking pills. No matter how the fuck they slice it. Prescription fucking pills are destroying our fucking society. It's like a slow cancer. It's like a slow cancer. Getting off those things as a nightmare, getting on them, and how you get on them is a freak by nature.

It's not happening to people like me. It doesn't happen to people like that are criminals. It happens to people like Lee. Somebody who's sweet that starts working out. And after six months, you hurt your ankle. You were running in North Hollywood. You hurt your ankle. And you were borderline spraying, and you start doing some Vicodins.

And you start liking them, Lee. And then somebody sucks your dick on Vicodin. And you like it even more. You see purple spots, and you see Barney. Now they give you prescription pills. But you eat them off. You eat them. The 30 they give you, they give you 10, and they give them to you for the last a month.

You eat them in two days. So this means Lee has to go out into the black market. This means Lee has to call up a guy like me. A decent guy, Lee. He's an editor. He has a fucking job with benefits. He has to call a dirty guy like me and go, Joey, can you get me Vikings? And one of those days, you're driving to get your Vikings,

you're going to get pulled over. And you're going to have 10 Vikings in a baggie. And you're going to have a prescription for them, but that's not going to be the ones in a baggie. And you're going to go to jail. And you create this domino effect. his lead, this sweetheart of a guy who would never harm anybody,

never did an illegal drug on his life, never. Still not doing illegal drug with the fucking Vicodin. It's legal, but this is how easier this. It's not dirty people who get caught up on Vicodins and percocets and coding pills. It's not.

It's people who come from decent family who believe their doctor. Yeah, exactly. It's people that have medical problem at some point and go to a doctor. People with insurance, people that have a doctor to go to and get a prescription. And that's how it starts. Yeah, well, I went to the doctor yesterday, and I had bronchitis a year or two ago when

Joey gave me hash, and they gave me coding at that time. And when they were giving me medicine yesterday, I was going to ask for coding. But I decided not to even ask for it because I was like, I don't want them to like set off an alarm. I'm not going to get a, a, rested for it or I don't know so I just didn't ask for it you know now they got a monitor yeah they look for that they got it monitored

you can't buy a lot of over-the-counter shit no more they monitor that's why I get scared to go buy the nose sprays you know I always buy them two of the fucking time when I go in but I'm always petrified that they're going to put me on computer or something like that which they do you know they have everything on

computer so it just makes sense how The addiction process starts in this country. It's not starting on the street with some black guy with a hat on. It's not. The biggest problem we have with doctors, and that's what happens. Our belief in the doctors. And I'm not saying doctors are bad people. I'm just saying that accidents happen, and sometimes you might take two of the pills.

You're supposed to take one, and next thing you know, you're at a fucking party with a feather up your asshole. Vicki Pezzell, what do you got next on your agenda? Talk to me. Well, there's two things coming up on, there's a big naughty show live at the comedy store on February 20th. Oh, right. Morgan Murphy's going to be on it. Joe DeRosa, Tiffany Haddish. It's going to be pretty awesome.

And that's, I'm not in that. I run that from backstage. I keep it organized. I keep them from blowing the frames out, try to keep them focused on the show. That's coming up if you're in L.A. and if you are in the wittier area in California on March 7th I'm doing stand-up at this place called the Ultra Lounge

except the Radisson Hotel so I've never been down there before I'm going to check it out so March 7th come to me tell jokes if you're around You're beautiful Churchgoers You're beautiful, Vicki Pez I'm happy you fucking called into that I miss you

I want to talk to my jersey girl and just keep me afloat, twit me, let me know what's happening in your life. Oh, always. Like I told you, Rick Shapiro said hi. A lot of Jersey people here. I really love it. Yeah, I'm going to call.

I'm going to call him to the podcast on Wednesday. Oh, nice. Oh, he would love that. Yeah, I'm going to talk to you. Oh, and I saw pictures of, because that's what made me think of it. You know, over the past few weeks, I had seen pictures of both of you guys on the set of Marin. So I guess you guys are going to be on Marin, which is going to be fucking awesome.

When was Shapiro on Maron? Was he on recently? Um, that might have been like a few weeks ago. Um, I think there's, it's not out yet season two, but I saw some pictures from set. So it's like, I've just been seeing like all people I love like, like all these pictures coming out. I'm like, oh, fuck, season two is going to be so fucking good. Yeah, yeah. Easy one was great. But, Mark took care of me. And there's good writers, Duncan, Birmingham. They're good guys. So they took good care of me. Yeah, my friend Dave Anthony works on that show. Yeah, and they're good people, man. I was really, you know, I emailed Mark. to email me back yesterday and he was in I was in shock I'm still fucking have a residual high from that show I really really do usually I do an acting show and I just move on with my life that one hit me a little harder because it was Mark right it was a guy that was me you know

we all had nothing going on and now he has so much going on so I want to congratulate him again and now he's taking care of his friends season two well that's that's what I It's really amazing. And that's what's so great about watching that show. I mean, when I did, I did it with Moshekoshar. I did it with a bunch of them motherfuckers that were cool. So I can't wait for the episodes to come out of either. But Vicki, I love you.

Have a great weekend. Thank you for calling in. Oh, thank you guys for having me. Talk to you soon. Bye, Mama. Bye. Bye. Let me give some shoutouts real quick before I give a shout out to my motherfucking sponsors.

Lebanon. Larry. Jordan Kopeck with the cocaine kids, Joe Gagal, West Gaia, Rob Udubi, my brother, Rob, A.K.A. A.K.A. Udubi, A.K.A. Udubi, A. A.K.A.

and Solja. Miguel Ponce and Timothy Ava, some shit like that. I don't know what the fuck his name is. I want to give some shout-outs to my sponsors. I want to welcome the newest one, who I already got emails about, and people telling me the truth, that escape pod

Escapepod tank.com Let me tell you something. It's affordable and high quality flotation tanks. You get $250 off when you mention my name. Go to the fucking park. Go over to their web page.

All right. Escapepodtank.com. Take a look at the different options you have. You have the heavy duty tank. You have the commercial tank. See what works for you. Whatever works for you. Listen, I still haven't floated yet. I'm going to be on Rogan's podcast Thursday

and I'm going to talk to him about floating where I need to go but I hear it's fucking tremendous it relaxes you it it recouprates you it gives you a great state of being you know you smoke a half a number you go in the tank you lock it it's uh the water is like 98 degrees the same as your skin so you don't feel it they fill it with fucking Epson salt it's tremendous you're gonna have a great time go to escapodtank.com see what they got available I guarantee if you're looking at a tank for your home your business you whatever the fuck you got your garage you go with float tank you

go with this company because you're going to save money. You're going to get at wholesale prices. Plus, mention the church, mention Joey Diaz, mentioned Lee Syatt, and you get yourself fucking $250 off. They ship it to you. If you want them to come, fly in and build a rack for you to jump in, whatever. They'll do that for you. They will do whatever it takes to satisfy the company and save you money. Go to escapodtank.com today. Also, my favorite people who, listen, Let me tell you something, you fucking momos. Enough, because I know the percentage of people who listen to this thing are men.

Enough with the stupidity. Dollar Shave Club. You're going to sit there with a rusty razor. You've got time to go down to a fucking pharmacy and stand online with a bunch of momos to spend fucking money on overpriced raises. No, you fucking don't. No, you fucking don't.

This is what you do. You go to fucking Joey Dears.net. You go to the Dollar Shave Club patch. You click on, what are you putting there? Church. And you get a tremendous fucking You get either $1 a month, you get either $6 a month, or you get $9 a month, correct? Correct.

Fixed income. Not to do that. You can also order the one white fucking Charlie's and you can also get the shaving butter, which is tremendous. I just reordered because it keeps it smooth. It got rid of some of the fucking scars. I just got my first ingrown hair in fucking years. So there you can have it right there.

Go to Dollar Shave Club. Go to Dollar Shave Club banner in my web page, Joey Dears.net. Or go to Dollar ShaveClub.com. Press in in the fucking box and get your fucking special deal today. Why you're not getting these is beyond me. They get delivered right to your door. Hulu Plus, are you fucking kidding me or what? Half years are listening to this so you're into entertainment.

You're into movies, you're into TV shows, you're into documentaries. Baa bam! That's where Hulu Plus comes in. You get two free weeks to sample it. When was the last time a chick suck your dick for free? And then I asked you, when was the last time a Coke dealer gave you a little bit of Coke and said you got it for free. Nobody does that. If you go to the

Hulu Plus fucking website, they give you one week for free. If you're a Joey Diaz fucking listener, you get two weeks on the arm fucking gratis. Boom, for free, and after that it's every 99 a month. Boom, that's what? 96 fucking dollars a year

to get the best in entertainment. Whether it's television shows, whether it's fucking films, or whether it's documentaries, whether it's original fucking programming. That's how we do it here, all right? And last but not least, let me tell you what I did last week. Last week was one of the best weeks for me ever, and I'm going to tell you what. Because I had five workouts.

I went to three kettlebell classes where I did deadlifts and all of them and double fucking cleans. And I went to two jih Tzu classes. I went to a fucking Tuesday class and I went to a Friday night fucking beginner class at GMAC. I never did five fucking workouts even when I was in testosterone. So you know why I got to do five workouts? I'm going to tell you people why. Honestly, it was because of the protein powder. and because of the fucking shroom tech.

I can tell you I take all these products, and I take stevia, and I snort it, and I take the fucking... No, I stick to what I fucking know. Alpha brain and shroom tech. That fucking shroom tech sport, if you're having a problem in jiu-jitsu, you're having a problem with your fucking kickboxing class,

you're having a problem at the fucking gym, on the standmaster. Do me your favor. Just get one thing of shroom tech sport. Just one. Give it a fucking try. Go to honor.com. Go to Joey Diaz.

What are you pressing the box? Church. You get 10% off. Not only that, they have stay onit.com. Will they come directly to your fucking mailbox just like Dollar Shave Club and you get 20% off savers? They also have a sweepstakes there running. The thing ends February 28th.

Go to Honet.com. Look at this chick with a titty. Bangin, she comes out. Ooh, Lee, what would you do to that? Would you hit him in the fucking ass with Yamaca? Go to Honnet.com. Go to Joey Diaz.com. Go to the honor box, press in church.

And get 20% off the fucking price. I'm telling you right now, dog. I'm no better than you. walking around at 300 fucking pounds. I'm 50 years old. I'm gonna be 50 fucking one years old. I'm rolling around with guys half my fucking age who choke me the fuck out. I didn't say nothing about choking people out. That's completely different. I said about lasting the whole class and making it home and then going home and making a fucking hemp force protein shake and put some glutecore in there so your muscles don't ache and you're all allowed to go in there

next day. Trust me. I'm 50 fucking one guys. I'm fucking heavier than half of you motherfuckers. Go to honor dot com. Go to the fucking bobby. press church and get the fucking 20% off go try shroom tech go try the immune for your fucking so you don't get the flu like this fucking gagoots and go get the fucking sports so once you're healthy you can run around do fucking jumps and shit like that you hear my stomach it's growl but at 6 the 5 30 this morning I had a hemp force protein shake with two scoops so I doubled the fucking protein powder and I put the fucking thing and it's still lasted and I'm

telling you on it Hulu plus fucking dollar shave club and escape pod tank They're the ones we're back in today. Get your shit together, cocksuppers. You know what I'm saying? Get your shit together, motherfuckers. It's Monday, February 10th, the day the devil was buried at sea and you're sitting there thinking about how bad my

life is. I don't have money for Val. Fuck you, bitch. There's always a fucking alternative. That's since you sat there the last fucking month and jerked around. Now you can't get your fucking girl. You're not even a lollipop on fucking Friday. Get it together. Time is running out, bitches. You ain't got this shit.

What am I even talking about? I love when I just go on a stupid fucking rally. Me too. Everyone won't. So we got to go look at the office this week tomorrow. Yep. I got a key. You got to make an extra one for yourself and shit like that. Okay.

I got an itch right on my ass cheek. I love it. I got to spray like an antifungle on my ass all every once in a long. It gets itchy down, man. What are you going to do? Water and soap just don't help. Baby powder. A baby powder, too, but then you have a conglomeration or stuff now, man.

I don't want no barnacles. around my ass all to be direct. Gotta get healthy, Lee. No more fucking coughing. I know, fuck. You're killing me, man. I'm coughing because of the weed. You gotta even smoking weed.

So we gotta get it together. Basically, I'm smoking weed in this room. But, uh, yeah. What are you gonna hit me with the second hand smoke? Should I hit you with a microphone now? I get high in this room. I get high in this room. I do.

How do you get high in this room? Because you smoke fucking four joints during the fucking... I didn't smoke four joints during the fucking... I didn't smoke four. I smoked one fucking joint and just hit it two or three times. You're slipping on me. Once we move into the office,

you're not even going to drive there in the morning. You're going to run over there in the morning. You're going to run there and back. You're going to be three, four mile child. You're going to get healthy. You're going to go on a hundred products. You're going to take some fucking shroom tech. That's it.

It's over. The party's over. I can't wait me. You're going to jump into you. Your head's going to get all small again. Like when you were juicing and your eyes were all creepy and shit. Look at that picture off Twitter. You're all creepy.

Your eyes and shit. your fucking head is all small take a picture out your head don't fit in that frame no more you outgrew it all you guys you're a little cheek and a little nose and shit that's your little head was tiny and shit like a little like that midget from fucking

what's his name not we man the other midget from that over and Troy or mini me yeah yeah a little fucking head just like you I had a good weekend though and I'll tell you why I had good weekend

because I wrote a lot and I was writing about my last you know because I'm writing about the things that made me become a man You know? And it's so weird how sometimes I was breaking your balls about a year ago about watching football on a Sunday. And I got a bunch of emails.

People are like, leave the fucking kid along. And that's something that keeps them together. And I wasn't looking at it like that because I enjoyed watching sports too growing up. I would sit there for fucking hours and watch basketball or baseball and football. But it was one day I had to make a decision. Do I want to be broke? Or do I want to watch football? Yeah.

you know and that that's how it came about to me you know with me my life wasn't simple it's not like I figured this shit out on my own I had an option to take you know and so now I know that people survive without it that's why when you I was busting your balls and people were going to watch football and something oh you know you survive without after a while you realize that night when you sit there and watch the highlights from all the games that's it that's all you need yeah that's all you fucking need. You know that after a while it's just tough to, so that time that you sat there for three hours watching the game, you

could have been working on your tape, turn paper. You could have been working on high school homework, whatever the fuck. I learned it the hard way, you know? And it's so weird, I was telling you the story and I spoke to George about it. I called George right away and I go, George, you know, I was leaving anyway.

I was leaving anyway. Like, I already had a decision, like, tomorrow morning, there's a couple flights, there's one at one, there's one at four. I don't know which I'll take but I definitely know I'm leaving. In those days, you didn't have to make reservations like now. Oh, you could just call? You could just show, and especially this airline,

they would call People's Express. I had spoken about this before. They only show. They only flew. Fuck it. They only flew to a guy. Did you just fart? No.

That was what happened. And it was one of those places that you just had you just had a fucking show up send FTD flowers Are you reading a junk email? No no no Somebody had emailed me and I didn't know what the fuck it was

I'm just looking at it Send FDD flowers Go fuck yourself That's what FD means Fuck your flowers So I was leaving the next day anyway And I went out and I bumped into that kid that called the podcast one time

Huli or Rodriguez And we were cousins growing up And all of a sudden he came up to me. I went up to him to shake his hand. He was very cold to me. He was telling me how my stepfather was looking for me, that I had fucked up, that, you know, a couple people were looking for me,

that I should get my life together. And he walked out of that. So I got really all paranoid. I'm like, we got to get out of here. I mean, there was no cell phones in those days. He had to walk to a pay phone and call somebody and then leave a message, and then they'd call him back. So if he went to call somebody, I had time to get out of that.

But when I got outside, I seen another friend of mine. she was going on and I have a drink and she came up to me after this guy told me this and said hey those people are looking for you for that fucking drug deal that you did they got a fucking beat shot

so here I get two stories and then I basically go home and I go to bed and I wake up the next morning I'm headed to the airport and I see somebody else was looking for me and he tells me the next time he sees and he's going to shoot me and it's just amazing how

that night I went home and I was crying because the reality was I was leaving. I had to fucking leave, you know, and it broke my heart. The last thing I wanted to do leave, and I state my case to today, was ever leave New York City.

I don't ever want somebody to say, oh, well, Joey was smart, he left. No, I left because I had to leave. But something else came to me that night that I had to leave because of two other reasons. I also knew I had to leave because I wasn't going to grow there. Yeah. I would never grow there.

I was so surrounded with, drugs and the crime lifestyle and I had such a woe as me mentality at that time and I see it sometimes when I talk to people on emails I got a bunch of emails last night this is what I was going into when I got it said I got some great emails last night about people copying to their addiction but I got a lot of woe as me emails and it made me think of that when I wrote into the book because I had that woe as me mentality as much as you guys will never believe that about me I had that mentality really had the woe was me and the addiction and if somebody will help me mentality so I was a tough fucking person to be around you know it's a tough person to be around yeah and would

maybe become a man what made me really move forward what made me walk into a square door without a triangle around me like I told on the Joe Rogan pockets about that luggage was for me to lose the woe was me mentality yeah The losing... It's hard. It's easy to have that mentality. Jesus Christ, it's fucking easy to have it. But to lose it is so fucking hard.

But I grew so much that night. I didn't leave New Jersey because those people were looking for me. I left New Jersey because I knew I finally had come into some money. And if I didn't leave now, I would never leave. And I knew I would die there. So it was so weird in this book that I was writing. How I wrote that sometimes your life, you know, you already have a decision,

something just helps you make that decision a lot quicker. Yeah. So I want people to keep that in mind today that, you know, lose the woes me fucking bullshit. You know, I know times are bad, and I know that you must have had a bad week. I know society sucks and the church sucks and Pavarotti sucks and the Grammys sucked.

And woe was, you know, bad whatever's off TV. But you know what? woe is me gets you fucking nowhere and it really made a man out of me losing that woe was me so for the people who wrote me the emails on addiction and shit I love that you sent me the pictures the emails there was a bunch of

people who sent me the woe is me I love you and I love you for listening but do me a favor lose it and your life's going to fucking move forward fucking easily is fucked because you waste so much time doing it yeah you really do because you can go all day telling everybody the same story

and then if you just spent that time doing, I mean, I everyone doesn't, so I'm not saying that like, if you wrote an email to Joey saying that I'm not saying anything's wrong, I'm just saying, and no, it wasn't, it wasn't a big woe is me mentality. I could just feel it

in some of the emails about the drugs. Yeah. You know, I do drugs because of this reason. And I'll tell you something else. I got the wall, it's funny because I lost the woe is me mentality in 85, but I got it back in like 94

in Boulder when I had the problems of my ex-wife again. Yeah. And again I had to leave again and I had to realize that I tucked the woe with me and tally up my asshole. Tuck it between my legs and be a fucking man again. So that's the point of the fucking week. Listen, it's February 10th. Valentine's Day is Friday.

We're going to be back on Wednesday. We're going to have tremendous guests. We're going to have a great fucking panel, whatever the fuck we do. And besides that, listen, we want you to have a great day today. We want you to go out there and be prepared stab a motherfucker. Be focused. And remember, without love, you got dick. Because if you don't love nothing, you can never be fucking good at it.

So get it together, Cuckuskers. I love you, stay black, and have a great day. And quickly, go to, I have a website now. It's called Leesayat.com. So any of the other podcasts I'm doing with with Steve Simone or Rick Ramos or Jerry Rocha, they're all there. So go to Leesai.com. Check those out.

Now that the show's over, don't forget to sign up for your free trial of Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus lets you binge on thousands of hit shows. anytime anywhere on your TV, PC, smartphone, or tablet, support this podcast and get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus when you go to Huluplus.com slash Joey or go to joey-diaz.net and click on the Hulu Plus banner. And don't forget to sign up for Dollar Shaveclub.com. You get high-quality razors sent to your door each and every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail.

Now go to dollarshaveclub.com slash church or just go to Joey Dias.net and click on the Dollar Shave Club banner. And lastly, go to Escape Podcast. tank.com and get yourself a flotation tank for $250 off. And you save a bunch of fucking loot. Trust me. Oh shit. Have a great week.

Motherfuckus. Uncle Joey loves you. Thank you for listening today.