The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #162 - Ben Fowlkes, Joey Diaz, and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: March 25, 2014

MMA writer Ben Fowlkes calls in to talk about TRT and the future of MMA. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Hulu Plus. Visit Huluplus.com/joey for an extended free trial. Dollar Shave Club. Use promo code CHURCH and get high quality razors sent to your door. Escapepodtank.com Mention Joey or the Church and get $250 off. Recorded live on 03/24/2014.

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Oh shit. It's Monday, March 24th. The day the devil was fucked in the ass, then buried it seat. Oh shit. little sound garden here. What? Leaple on the wrong fucking jam, but that's okay. He's lucky I don't

stab him in the fucking night. It's beautiful, brother. Don't worry about it. It's a beautiful day to be alive. Beautiful fucking day to be alive. Kick that shit, Lee. It's over. It's over. Close that door, buddy. I don't want Puerto Rico is walking in here and stabbing. We got equipment. We got a kilo bow in here.

It's going down. Monday. April 24th. March. 24. What the fuck? These fucking vapors are getting to me. Turn it off, flee. Fuck it. What's happening? You bad motherfuckers. The church of

what's happened now? Flavor Lee Syed, aka the Flying Jew, what's going on, player? AKA, I don't know. I'm doing good. It was a good weekend. Everything all right? Everything's great, except for you made fun of me because I got roped in and he going to a bad restaurant again.

It's a fucking king of bad restaurants. And he sits there and takes this abuse. I got a snap after Three minutes, like, I'm not fucking going. I refuse to fucking go. I don't care where the fucking group is going. I don't give a fuck about groups. I'm my own fucking group.

I got an it on my back that's been killing me for 15 fucking minutes. You understand? I don't know what the fuck I'm going to. There you go. I got like a hair patch or some shit. It's fucking growing. But it's Monday, you motherfuckers.

Get up, wash your asshole. You got to go out there. And deal with it. Like I said, a smile in your heart, fucking love and some balls. That's what you fucking need today. You'll make it happen. Trust me. I live on this shit every fucking day. I ain't know better than you motherfuckers. I'm just trying to put the pieces together. I saw Lee yesterday. We had some coffee with the baby. She's so fucking big. And I, and I, do you get nervous about swearing? Because I think I swore once. I was like, oh, no, and I made a service.

I get nervous. I get nervous because one day she's going to pick it up. She is picking it up. It's going into a computer. And every time she takes a nap. she hears fuck I'm cucked fuck your mother up the ass well she's doing the talking like you you picked up the cell phone and you started talking

and then she has a baby cell phone and then she started she started doing it she started doing the hand movement she put it up to her ear she did the thing but she's just the only thing missing

is the word it's a pink little fucking plastic cell phone you buy that toy store and whenever my phone rings she picks up her cell phone and she puts it to her like she's talking to somebody

like what's going on I hear you you I hear you cock suckers What else? Did you go to movies? Did you eat dinner with the wife? I ate dinner with the wife We went to a Thai place That's what we like

Tremendous No, we didn't We didn't go to the movies I spent the weekend looking for a dog But I've decided that I'd just Something I'm gonna have to wait on a little bit It's because I had been going to a shelter A rescue

And I wasn't finding anything So we decided to go to the local shelter And it's just It's like, it's like hundreds of examples of when people couldn't handle getting a dog. I even picked one out. I had an adorable little one and it was calm because that's why I need a calm dog. I can't have one running around being crazy, especially my place. And it caught me sad because the woman was saying, this dog was 10 months old and it had been adopted from that shelter.

And the family had recently, like two days before, brought it back. Like, how could, like, this isn't, you can't do that to a dog after it gets used to a family, and it's, it's stuck in a little cage now. And it's just, I, even though I have more time than I've ever had at home, I just, I don't feel like I have enough time as a single person. Nothing pisses me up when people don't think out to move. Yeah. Think out the fucking move. It's like when you see a homeless guy with a fucking dog.

Obviously, he didn't think the fucking move out. Yeah. He has the dog as a ploy to make some cash from people from animal lovers, and I understand it. But there's nothing worse than getting a dog and then realizing your schedule, your time. And it happened to you once before. So when you called me and said that to you, my natural insult was to just tell you to go, fuck yourself. But I told you to think about it. Think about it for 24 hours.

That's what everybody should do. Think about it for 24 fucking hours. Don't get me wrong. It took me 20 years to realize that. I'm no fucking genius. But I'm telling you, anything I've ever done now, I think about it for 24 fucking hours. And you see it for what it is.

You're 25. You want to get into different things. You have no family out of you. You have no cover. You're like me. You know, when Terry started bringing fucking cats upstairs, I knew my life was changing.

Then you live through an earthquake. You see what an earthquake is. And you think about what it does this animal, this cat, or this dog that you love. and you really can't leave. What if last Monday's would have been 9.5.9 and you're here and the building falls down. You got to fly over there and save the fucking animal.

It's just a lot of responsibility at a young age. If you had a house here, if you were planning on staying here, anything can change. Any time you have this dog, and there's nobody here, your girlfriend will have to take a train every day to go over there. I go over there a few times a week,

but then I got to go out of town. And it's just, it's not, it doesn't happen a lot, but every once in a while, you'd be like, hey, we're going to San Diego. Just, we'll be back tonight, but it's still six hours. Or, fucking, it's just, there's enough of a time where I wouldn't want to do that to a dog. So what I, what I've decided is, I'm going to do something, maybe volunteer at the shelter or something, because I do love the dogs. But even some people wrote to me on Twitter when I said that, like, listen, man, it's not, I think as a single person, it's probably, it's probably, probably too much. Because the girl and I've been talking about moving in together

in like a year or something, I think when that happens and there's two people at the house. And she could come in at lunchtime if you're out of town. You know, it really helps. Nothing fucking pisses me off more than going to a shelter scene. 20 fucking pit bull mixes. Oh, there's so many of them.

There was a St. Bernard puppy that was probably like already 100 pounds. And it was just so happy. And yeah, some of the pit bulls were kind of scary at the shelter. They were angry. but some of them were so sweet and they just looked so happy. And then there was one.

The one that probably made me knock at the dog was one, and they all have them on the sheet when it came in. One came in in January, and this one didn't even come out to say hi to anybody. It was just sitting in the back. It had been there for three months, and it was like, oh. He was giving up all. Yeah, and it's just...

It's fucking wild. No, no, no. It's wild to even... I see those things at parks now, and I won't even walk out. I almost went there yesterday. There was one in the park in Laurel Canyon. Canaan always has them on Sunday.

And I went over there one day and I walked over and I seen these cats and I saw a cat that was just like mine, like my super bad. It's just amazing. You know, I couldn't think of my life without those fucking cats I have. Those cats. Now with the baby, it's fucking

too much, but I still deal with it and I realize how much they love me my cats and how much I love them. These days, I have fucking Harry and Superbad, who fucking immortal enemies. Do you understand me? They're mortal fucking,

and, oh, they hate each other since day one. I got one on this fucking leg, and I got super bad on my chest. And that's the way, you know, that's just the way it goes. And I look at them, I look at my daughter, and they mean the same to me.

It's the weirdest thing. They both, fucking super bad, I would have never stopped snorting without super bad. And he's the ugliest, ratiest, stinkiest, smelliest fucking cat. I smelled his face last night. I was a fucking puke.

But I love him. I love holding. him and squeeze him and Harry this morning I was doing something and I heard him fucking crying I wanted to go what the fuck Harry he was hungry I went over I fed him I picked him up I kissed him you know it's Monday

on Mondays I try to kiss them all and hugged like last Monday I didn't know that they were looking for attention they were letting me know there was going to be a fucking earthquake and I didn't even know it and I picked them up like fucking all of them I started kissing them and telling them I love them before I left because they were acting weird and look when I

came back there was an earthquake and I didn't think about it hours later, you know. Do you think you'll have, because I mean, you'll have the cats while Mercy is there, but do you think if you ever got a bigger house, like, I think it was important for me to have, have a dog because the cats, cats is responsibility, but the act of taking a dog out, I think is, it's important, have you thought about getting a dog for her? Is it, I mean, there's just, because I was watching you yesterday, and I can't imagine, like, it's, I don't know how you get it.

I honestly don't know how you guys get anything done. Because, like, just, she threw the book down. She started crying a little, but I was like, oh, my, how do you, like, not focus fully? So just, like, I always started thinking 10 years in the future. It just, it's... You get used to it, and you... I know for a fact, I know before I had the child that I was never going to... A friend of mine, so, listen, when you have them, don't think of doing nothing else.

You're not going to write, you're not going to read a book, you're not going to be able to watch TV. It's too much attention, so you know this. You know, and that's it. You just, when you have her, you watch. You watch, and sometimes she watches TV, and sometimes you've got to read her a book. And it's a commitment. It's a commitment at every fucking level,

but you do it, you know? Sometimes in the sun, you ever see, like, I go to the fucking studio city, and I've said this a thousand times. I go to studio city, I go to the park, and I'll see a nanny with two kids at the park. The mother doesn't even have time. God forbid she's that busy.

But then I'll swing two. miles across town and I'll see a Mexican woman that's pregnant pushing a fucking kid in a carriage with a kid in one hand with groceries. Yeah. And you're like, what the fuck? What the fuck? You know what I'm saying? So it's whatever you do. It's whatever you fucking choose and how you choose to do it. You know, time is time. You know, time is you have to make time for everything. You have to make time for yourself. It's really important. I had a really good time this weekend. I had a fucking great time last week. You know, I had a, uh, uh, uh, I was, uh, I was a, uh, I was, um, I was was sore the one day from

Jiu-Jitsu or something, so I didn't do much Wednesday and Thursday, but I did some comedy last week. You know, I did the Doug Benson thing. It was a big-time stony week last week. I was fucking high Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Yeah, Jesus. And then

Friday we got high again. You didn't want to get high with me, so it was a stony weekend. But Friday night I did something that had been looking forward to for a long fucking time. I went to a third-year anniversary party at my jiu-jitsu school. Oh, cool. Now, they always have little things.

They always have, once every 60 days, they have a barbecue, a belt promotion, this, that, a demonstration, and they always barbecue afterward. And I'm always out of fucking town. Always out of fucking town. So when I got the email for this, like the beginning of the month, I put it on the calendar.

I told my wife I was going, and I fucking, I went down. I did the beginning class. I did the whole Marcello Madness, which is calisthenics. And then I stayed to spa for about to about 9.15. And I was going to go and do a set of flappers

and come back. There was a friend of mine I want to see up there. Jimmy Schubert was up there. But I went home and I took a shower and the baby was still awake. So I said, fuck. I just went and got a case of beer. I went over to the party. I didn't drink. I had a hamburger and a hot dog.

At one moment, I just sat there and looked at all these kids. because that's basically what they are. They're fucking kids. They're 25-year-old kids. You know, some are working. Some are not working. Some are getting out of school.

Some are thinking of going back, you know. And what keeps them together is this jujitsu class. You know, it's a cheap jujitoo class. It's $60 a month. And that's all they could afford. You know, they live on ramen and shit. And they get like a ghee. And it's so weird that I sat there for like 30 minutes just looking.

And I kept my mind. not sure, and say two words. Nobody asked me to take a fucking picture. Nobody asked me if I'd been auditioning. Nobody asked me if I was doing a set. Nobody asked me if I was in a movie. I was just a regular person, man. And that's why I'd do that.

How often do that happen? Happens every time I go to Jitsu. Anytime I've gone into a martial art the last five years, I go in there and I leave everything at the fucking door when I walk in there. It's my hour, like we've discussed before. but it's also

I don't know my biggest mistake people always say if I would have stayed in martial arts if I would have could or should I went to church with my wife yesterday and we dropped a baby off in daycare downstairs and I hung around

Terry goes upstairs it's her church not mine so I'd rather hang out and watch the kids play with the tambourines and shit and there's a girl downstairs Sophia and she was talking about ballerina how it fucks up her toes And she goes, yeah, you know, I'm a ballerina.

I've been doing since I was two or three, blah, blah, blah. And I said to her, you know, do me your favor. Whatever you fucking decide in your life, don't ever quit ballet. How old is she? She's going to be just turned 13. Okay. She goes to school with Felicia's kids. Okay.

All right, so that's how I know her. Her name is Sophia. Good looking young girl. She's going to be fun. But she got a great he has. You can tell, she's the only child, and you can see that. She's older. When you walked in, when she told me she was 13,

I thought she was like 28. I can't fucking tell. But it was really weird that I said to it, don't quit, whatever you're doing. Even if it doesn't make you money in the future. That thing you've been doing since you were two, that'll always bring you back. And a lot of people don't know that.

And then the other woman said, you know, I played the piano all my life. My father made me hate it. And the other girl goes, they used to sing. And my father made me hate it. And then you're all trying to get back into it now. One of my biggest mistakes, At 15 was dumping karate.

It destroyed me because it kept me intact. It was a group of people that I didn't hang out with, which meant I only saw them when I went to karate or karate events. So whatever I was doing, my friends in North Bergen at the time, it didn't really matter when I went down there on whatever, Tuesday, Thursdays, and Saturday mornings to grow psychics. You know, if I smoke pot with my friends, I didn't smoke pot with these karate kids.

These karate kids, you went, you bought a ghee, you beat each other up, and then you all went out for cheeseburgers and talked about fucking the martial arts supply store, how they just got a new set of knee pads in it. You've got to get them in red. That was your big fucking geek out. That wasn't what I did. And then something, fucking, something possessed me

to go hang out with these other guerrillas that none of them were into anything but bad shit. And my life went astray. And then when I was 25 or 26, in 1994, whatever the fuck I was 30, I said to myself, oh, I'm gonna go back to martial arts. And thank God, I got back into like a Tang Sudo,

traditional bowing, the whole fucking thing. And it was really special for me. It really brought me back and I focused my standout. So then when I went off the deep end again for 10 fucking years, over here in 2006, before I went on the fucking Weight Watcher thing,

I went to this karate school, Kung Fu School, and Vermont with these black dudes, these two black dudes. I used to call it Kung Fu with the brothers. And I loved it, and it brought me back to focus. How does a karate class bring your life back? Because it seems like it's only an hour a day.

Like, how does it focus your whole life? Because it takes you away from your life, and it makes you look at your life from a different angle. You follow me? It takes you away from that. Just walking into a gym, walking into a martial art school, walking into something that takes an hour of your hat because you think about your day you think about your week you think about your day you work six hours you do this and you go to yourself what do I do the other five hours are I fuck off and you go to yourself what if I did something different one of those fucking hours you know when I was a kid and I went to martial arts it was weird it kept me away from things full time do you follow me it was my time away like my friend Joey who's a

fucking booze. She joined Kung Fu, karate down the bottom of me. In fact, it was Tang Zudu. And I tried to explain that. I go, Joey, I don't give a fuck if you don't quit, if you don't quit drinking. But think about this. Your class, two nights a week is at 8 o'clock. Those two days, you're not going to drink until 9.30. You're going to keep focused and not have a drink till 8.30. So even if you fuck around it for five days, there's going to be two days that you're going to find something to do till 8.30. You're going to go to the class. You're and have a great time. And once you walk out of that fucking class,

I don't give a fuck if you walk into your cabinet and drink the whole fucking thing of booze and alcohol and ice cubes and olives and fucking, whatever the fuck you, margarita salt. But you understand me, bro, that fucking hour and a half keeps you so focused. And it can be anything.

It doesn't have to be fucking jitsu. It can be fucking anything. It can be caperea. It could be kickboxing. It could be judo. It can be karate. It could be yoga. Whatever that little thing keeps you it takes you away from usually the people who are always talking about what you don't want to fucking talk about your life

When you sit with Paula after the hello's and the goodbyes and the bullshit How long do you tell her that you need to make more money? How long does she talk to you about her fucking life going to law school? Yeah, this is it That hour nobody knows about your fucking problems that hour you go to grow you go to grow mentally You might have a little goal for yourself. You know what? Today, dog, those fucking drills in the beginning, I'm going to fucking throw 10 kicks instead of eight. I don't care if I don't breathe the rest of the fucking class.

That particular drill, I'm going to throw eight kicks today. I'm going to throw 10 instead of eight. You know, sometimes I go to Jiu-Jitsu. I go, you know what? Today I'm going to go past the black on hip escapes. And I give myself a person to go, when I walk out of Jiu-Suituit, I'll tell you something. If you catch me at the door,

you'd have to suck my dick for two hours before a drop of young yum juice came out because that's how high I am I'm just I don't feel what I just did when I walk out of jiu-jit-to is the best time for me to write it's the best time for me to do a podcast I wish I could go from jih Tzu right to the fucking stage because I destroy every time because the accomplishment that you feel okay so if you say to yourself like yeah the gym is great and all this stuff but there's different things that you could do I don't get a fuck if it's an art class

it might be an art class but it takes you away from that bullshit from your bullshit you know I'm not saying your bullshit my bullshit it's our own bullshit you know from the cat needs food and who didn't fucking puke and I got to go to the weed store

and just the dilemmas of the fucking day you know it's just amazing what it does for you so how I mean I don't remember because I did mushroom are all through school and I don't remember as a kid having those thoughts but when you're saying that to me I'm thinking well if I'm in class maybe my mind will be else remember maybe my mind will be on those things so did you have to train yourself to not yeah because

after a while you do get caught if an instructor's saying well let's it he's setting you up for a fucking thing when you look down and you do get caught you like fuck when I leave here I got to go right to the bank you know like you might think about that I'm I have to go right to the banking cash that check. If not my family, it's not going to eat tonight. Whatever, I'm just saying. Right then in there, Lee, something catches. And you're like, okay.

They're like, come over here, Lee, demonstrated on Joey. And now you've got to throw me over, punch me in the stomach or karate chop me and throw a kick. And now you're like, fuck. When the teacher demonstrated it, I didn't think I could do it. But I could do it. I just missed by three inches. Let me do this again.

And also, you throw that kick and that punch. And now you're like, wow, a little. closer and now you get sucked in bro you just get sucked in by your own abilities by the things you can do not the things you can't do it's a very weird fucking thing man and i knew that when i got out listen that if i look back i was a fucking moron i ate that girl's pussy and made me crazy and i got left back in the seventh grade right yeah it happens and after i got left back i got really smart really quick because i did the things i wasn't doing before i was taking notes in class doing shit like that but I also think that I got really into

basketball after I got left back and I got very into martial arts after I got left back and that focused me man it really focused me I never got in trouble and yeah I started smoking pot with the neighborhood guys but I would never tell my martial artist friends it was like a fucking stripe against me if I told my martial artist friends when I quit martial arts I didn't quit because I quit because I wanted a party more than I want to do martial arts I didn't want to work anymore yeah that's what I didn't want to do I didn't want to work anymore it's a fucking shame and it took me 10 years to realize

that and if I have a friend or a daughter or a son or a nephew who got involved in some doesn't have to be martial arts could be anything they got involved in the archery I don't give a fuck I'm saying to keep doing that to keep doing that because it'll keep you centered It's like when you're a telemarker or a salesman, they give you a pitch to read on the phone. After 90 days, you go on a tangent, and you start just talking,

and then you realize you're not selling anymore until you go back to that script. That's what I'm talking about. Sometimes you have to go back to the original script of your life. That's what you did for 15 years. My cousin played the piano. There was a girl there who said she played the piano.

And then one day she stopped because of abuse of father. You know, your father's like, play the fucking piano on Saturday. Yeah. She goes, I'd be playing the piano. Listen to the kids playing outside. So I got turned off to the piano and I go,

don't you wish you started playing out? She goes, I did a year and a half ago. I started taking lessons again. And I finally just financed the piano. So it's amazing. Sometimes people find themselves again. They go back to what they were doing as kids because you want to go back to that moment.

You want to see what the fuck you were thinking at 14 and 15 when you were something, when you did have it. ambition when you did have a wanting for life I look at my daughter when they clap on a TV show and she gets fucking excited we don't fucking clap no more

because we've been poisoned we've been poisoned but to have that virginity to life again to have that to be excited about life again as a child you know we're going to Wendy's way you know what I think you're going to Wendy's now you're like all right I'll eat a double but fuck

my stomach is going to be so I'm not eating the chili Yeah. But when you're a kid, you're talking McDonald's, they jump up and fucking down. That's why McDonald will never close down. Because every day you get a million fucking new customs. Every time a little kid is fucking born, give them two years, they're going to have a McNugget in their fucking mouth. Oh, fuck it.

I saw that this weekend, not to change the subject, but I was watching something, and there was kids commercials, and they're so fucking manipulative. Have you noticed that watching the kids shows with your daughter? Especially the Chucky Cheese and the mid-da-ons. And you're not around. And you're not around. So that's sucking them to fuck in. Oh, yeah. No, that's why they lose their fucking mind.

Because while they're watching a commercial, they have devils, stabbing them with a hundred-a-billars and stuff. So that's what the kids really fucking see. You ever hear about that, about Coke? When you went to a movie theater, that Coke would slow down the... If you slow down the advertising, Coke would draw some little messages.

Oh, I'm sure. You're thirsty. You get up. Like one... like one frame every second or something. Yeah. Pop corn or some shit like that. But it was just,

it just felt nice to be around normal people, bro. Yeah, that must not happen a lot with you. And I'm not saying everywhere you go. It's not like you go to Ralph and there's a parade for Joey Diaz. No, no, no, no. I'm not talking about it in this way. This is what I'm talking about. I don't think of one knows who you are.

I'm talking about a sense. We walk in here. I come in here to do a podcast. I sit down with you, a guest comes in. And within four minutes ago, you've been auditioning lately. Mm-hmm. Or I'll ask him. I'm no fucking innocent.

You've been on audition lately? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But next thing you know, we're talking fucking shop. Anywhere I go, I'm going to talk shop to in my house. I'm having to dinner with my wife. How is your day? Good, boom. I talk to this guy.

You're talking shop. It happens with every job, too. I did that with my TV jobs. Every time on the weekends. And it was funny because we hated the job. But anytime we go together for drinks after work on the weekends, and I'll go back to that box we hated or I can't believe how stupid they are

So all you want to do is get your mind out of there So you can still grow personally No, do you think it's important That it was something you did as a kid Or could be something totally new It could be something totally new Okay But I'm saying if you think about it

If you're an adult right now You know over 30 and you did something as a kid And you stopped doing it I want you to think about when you were doing it How you felt about life Wouldn't you want to feel like that again? Yeah Wouldn't you want to feel like that again?

So this might just bring you back. You ever fucking smell something It reminds you your mom's stew Or something your mom used to cook A certain hot dog And it fucking arouses you for five minutes And you think about the last time your mom made it How it can't be your mom.

Your mom's 2,000 miles away. You follow me, but it takes you back. I'm feeling the same thing For something you did every fucking day. You know, even if you just go out there and play two-hand touch maybe. For three minutes. I don't fucking know.

I'm just saying for me, it worked. Yeah. For me, I saw the beginning of the end for somebody else, maybe not. Where's the fucking musically? It's Monday, the 24th. Who the fuck knows what happened to the devil today? I don't know if he was buried at sea.

I don't know if he was on that Malaysian plane. Who the fuck knows what that fucking devil is? Where's Tony Bennett Lee? You're supposed to. There you go. A little something for my mom. A little something for some people in your life. They're watching you, Cox,

to stay black. Oh shit. Where's that fucking vapor, man? I want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart. Some, somebody twice as smart.

Yummy for your tummy. Do you have plays, like when he said tackle football or touch football, I was never good in sports, but I have like four or five. sports moments that I had as a kid that I remember clear as a bell

good I mean listen to Tony but you could tell me all about him later I will tell you all about him son of a bitch I had an interception and I fell in the end zone it was excited it was fifth grade and I tricked the guy I was like I'm on your team and I wasn't on this team

I got the ball on it's a whole juetrick let's see if the puzzle Fitts. Are you fucking kidding, Milly? I'm not kidding. Are you fucking... You're into the piano. Ruddly.

Revenge is sweetly. Even Tony Bennett says a nicest guy in America. You're going to Tony Bennett land this weekend. Excited? I'm going to Fort Laude. I know. Is that Tony Bennett land? It has to be.

There's somebody old Jews and old Italians. Oh, that's a Jim Matt Cox. I didn't know what you were talking about. That's what Tony Bennett was fun for a lot. No, no. No, no. It's like he's down there, spring break and at the beach with a bikini.

I'm sure he is. He's like the most interesting man in the world. He really is. It's amazing. He's still working. He's still doing what he fucking loves, you know what I'm doing? What the fuck, Lee Cox-Uk? You're not getting high no more.

You're gonna eat edibles the other fucking day. High-ed-nobes two days. Two days. You're a fucking Marine. You got to eat every day. Like a Sabbath. You got any left around here? What's the edibles?

You do them all home. I know you got to. No, you have them all. You sure? Yeah. I got to check the house. Maybe I hate them. Why would I have any of them?

Because maybe you want to save them. Maybe you want to dose a girlfriend and fucking take pictures. I don't fucking know. I don't ask you a question. What are you looking at the screen for? What's the matter? What's on there? Just looking for the call.

Just making sure. Just looking for fucking upset. What's the problem here? I'm perfect. You good? What are you going to do today? What are you got on the agenda? Nine o'clock?

We have a flying G-radio. Okay. Today? Today? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And then I spent last night packing up the t-shirt order.

Okay. And they're going to go out today. Going out today? You're going to take them to the mailp of the bottom? I know already put the stamps on them and stuff. So I'm going to throw them in the box. And they come over and get them? They would, but I just, I was going out.

So I just figured I'd bring them over because I didn't want to, like, you can't schedule time. Like, it's just that they'll come over whenever they come over. So I felt better about putting it in the box. Okay. So you take it to the post office. Or any blue box. I'm just throw them in there.

They're already stamped. Blue box. Yeah. No shit. That's what they said. We'll see how it works. Okay. See what I'm saying?

You learn it. Yeah. This is the beauty of it. What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? But it is pretty cool. I mean, I know we have people in different countries, but like, I'm sending a shirt

to Australia and to Austria. I'm like, how the fucking, how cool is that? I had an email from Norway last night. Finland's big in the fucking house. I got some white people in China smoking opium over there. Do you see what happened in Cleo? Like her husband got in a car accident or something? I think he's okay.

Come on. Yeah, but she put that on Twitter. But he's fine. But I saw that yesterday with Cleo. So I'm a little bit of her an email. Man, I got some fucking great emails this week. I really did. You know, you got a problem.

You want to chit-chat and fucking go to, what is it? Beating the Beast Podcast. Beating the Beast Podcast at gmail.com and send me a fucking email. Oh, no, no. I think you have a little. Go to Joey Dears.com. Yeah.

Go to Joey Deers. Not net. I got a lot of addiction. I guess addiction is fucking huge, man. Oh, yeah. Fuck, yeah. Fucking pills and blow and people. freaking the fuck out but sometimes it's not

an addiction I think sometimes it's just people want to party and they're scared to quit but they know how to fucking quit do you know what I think everyone knows it's I mean for us it for me it's food I think everyone knows what they have to do it's just it's uh it's hard

doing it because it's not easy and it's not fun I just get surprised on how many fucking people email me about addiction and you know you I knew I've learned to completely lesson the last five years. I wouldn't

a complete fucking lesson because I thought that when I wouldn't tell my stories I thought that everybody had a celebrity they dealt coated or I thought that everybody once mug somebody in the back of my head I thought that one day Lee was

going to say well I fucking stabbed the hook I always thought that about people I don't know fucking what and then I found that no when I would tell people I found that that I was fucked up you know but I was a little fucked up from the way I lived or whatever. And you tell your fucking stories

and I have no idea where I'm going with this. I got too high on that fucking vapor. That vapor pen will kick your ass. You know it's been 35 or 36 days I haven't smoked dope. How are your lungs feeling?

My lungs are doing better. Sometimes I get surprised. I take those fucking shroom texts and I get surprised like Friday night and I took the shroom text and I got surprised on how much energy

and how much low power I have. Let me tell how good the shroom techs were on a fucking Monday on Friday night I went to an hour fucking beginner class then I did an hour calisthenics squats jumping jacks push-ups sit-ups I can't do the fucking burpees I'm not going to lie to nobody and I can't do the cross-country whatever fuck I ain't going to lie to nobody I did those three sets of 20 each and then we rolled I rolled three things at five minutes apiece then I went fucking home I did

five sets of swing kettlebells and five sets of cleaning jerks clean and presses with a squat that's how fucking good the shroom techs are fucking doing i'll tell you what man if you're looking for fucking energy whether you're a fat fuck or skinny fuck you're starting out you just want to give it a shot to see it doesn't raise your your heartbeat your heart doesn't pound out of your fucking shirt it just gives you this weird energy when you think you should be breathing heavy you're not that's what the shroom tech does okay it's something in those uh whatever type of mushrooms so do me a favor man if you're looking to start working out of something and I hate plugging something here but I just remember some time I just want to tell you on it does a fucking

great job whether it's the fucking alpha brain neurologist approved whether it's the fucking shroom tech whether it's the fucking strong bone that some people you know people email me some people get good results off the tea powder some people don't some people love the turn around fucking 180 you haven't heard one to complain about that you know but the alpha brain I hear Some people get headaches or something like that. I got headaches in the beginning. But after you move it a couple of days, you fucking feel great, you know. I'll tell you, anything you want to try, they got the kettlebells, they got those fucking buffalo strips now, they've got digestive enzymes.

They keep getting better and better and better. I don't need to fucking tell you. Go to honor.com and see what you fucking like on there. Even if you order one thing of this room tech, use my code. What's the code? Church. Church. CH you are, CH.

And get yourself 10% off, 20% off. If you like it, you go back and you register for stay on it and you get 20% off right off the bat plus the fucking 10 and they mail it right to your house. The beginning of the month, you don't have to go nowhere, you have to reorder, you have to get back online, give you your fucking credit card. That's how easy it is.

Go to honor today because I tell you what, I'm 300 fucking pounds. And for me to do what I just told you, I just fucking realized what I did. That was the shrewtack. And I went home and I wasn't breathing heavy. I had to pee. I can't lie to you, motherfuckers.

When I fucking breathe heavy, I got to fucking pee. But besides that, What are you going to do? A little pee, but you live? Who gives a fuck? It's not like those pills for asthma they got. You spray your lungs and you might die. What am I going to die for?

Why would I want to fucking die for? I'm alive. So what I'm breathing a little fucking heavy? But with your spray, I'm going to fucking die. I swing that egg. Oh, yeah. What's that fucking egg? You sit there and go, what the fuck did he just say?

Exactly. Now, I'm not a huge stoner, but you always hear people say, oh, well, weed smoke isn't as bad for you as cigarette smoke. being off of it for 30 days, do you think? Like, does we do something when you're... Smoke is smoke. Okay. Smoke is smoke.

Whether it's weed smoke, whether it's cigarette smoke. I feel less toxic. Okay. I feel like my lungs are less toxic. That's it. You know, I feel a little better, I'm sure. It's not like I'm jumping over fences and I got tons of cardio. No.

It's going to take its time. Not to mention I'm 300 pounds. My body is... It's carrying 100 fucking pounds more than what it should. So that alone weighs on your fucking cardio. Through time, I'll get better and better and better at it, and I'll lose some weight, and we'll make it happen, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, here we go.

Uncle Ben, what's happening, buddy? Very much. How are you, really? Good, buddy. Thank you very much for waking up early and calling. So I've got to ask you a question before we even get started. You're in Missoula right now? Yeah, in Montana. Let me tell you some.

I used to do County there 15 years ago, the place called the 8-ball-in. Oh, yeah? Not here anymore. It's not there anymore. How long have you lived in Missouri for? I went to grad school here for a couple of years in a new way to New York,

and I've been back now for about six years. You like it up there? I love it. It's fucking cold. It's the real deal. Well, you know, you get into a winter sport and it gives you reason to look forward to it. What do you do up there?

What do you like? You ski a lot? I do a lot of cross-country skis. I take my dog out there and kind of get way out there. Oh, your legs are fucking solid. Yeah, I used to drop. I lived in Seattle. I used to work Missoula for Trimble, and there was a couple Montana rooms he had.

I went everywhere from Billings to I went everywhere in Montana. That's when you could do 150 in your car and nobody gave a fuck. Yeah, yeah. And what did you go to grad school for? Writing. Greater writing. You're a bad mother. the fuck on the line my man ben folks he's a writer for usa today also for mama junkie you know i

called george the other day and george who's also been on the show and i've been on mama junkie various times i want him to break down the t r we just started talking about the t rt thing and he mentioned your name he said you've done a couple articles on it uh break it down for me what's going on in ufc and how this is going to affect the t rt band well what's going on now we're actually in kind of a period of change because for the last few years it was gaining in popularity and a lot of different arguments came out about it. Some guys saying, hey, you know, these guys have natural testosterone deficiencies, guys like Jelsonon, who was one of the first to kind of popularize it,

Bitoa Belfort was one, Dan Henderson, who's kind of the grandfather of it for a long time, and saying, hey, we need, you know, synthetic testosterone just to keep us within normal testosterone levels to keep us healthy. and be able to go in there and compete. And the problem is synthetic testosterone for any other fighter who gets on it, it's a performance enhancer. It's a steroid. And when you take synthetic testosterone and administer it, you know, via shot or cream,

whatever, administer it exogenically outside the body. It's at the performance enhancer. Every other fighter can't do it. You know, the guys, they go and they get a doctor's note and get permission for the commissions to do it. And so it naturally creates some ethical questions. Is it fair? Is it fair for some guys to be able to do it and not other guys?

And is it safe? Is it not only safe for them, the guys using it? But, you know, they're not baseball players. They're not tennis players. They're hitting each other in the head. And if you let a guy take a performance-enhancing substance that's going to make him faster and stronger, help him recover faster so he can train harder,

and then he gets to go on a cage and beat somebody up, you know, some bad stuff can happen there. So it was a debate that we had in sports. for several years, and now finally the tide has turned against synthetic testosterone, and TRT, as we call it, testosterone replacement therapy, and the Dematic Commission, which is the kind of a commission that sets the standard for the rest of the nation, they recently announced that they're not going to allow any more therapeutic use exemptions for testosterone. They're not even going to look at the applications anymore.

You just can't do it anymore. And that's already led, you know, a couple commissions that say they'll follow suit. The UFC has said that they will follow suit in the areas where it acts as its own regulator. So now, you know, a few months ago it was cool. Now it's not cool anymore. Now, they're saying that, like, Vito Belfort pulled out of his fight against Chris Wyatman. Now, he's going to go clean without it. That's what's going to happen now.

Guys like him and Chale Sondon and Dan Henderson who fucking punched, I guess, Sunner won't be smelling any farts lately. because he fucking hit him so hard in the nose. He broke his goddamn nose. And I love Shoghly. He just caught him with a great shot. So guys like that will not be allowed to shoot testosterone anymore. Right.

Well, I mean, and if they do do it, then they'll be cheating. They won't be allowed to do it legally. And that is one of the tricky things about testosterone to begin with is if you, you know, say you didn't get a therapeutic use exemption, you know, even back when they were being handed out, and you decided you wanted to use it, one of the harder substances to detect because it goes away so quickly. You get the shot and it dissipates in your system pretty quickly. Those levels come down in a hurry.

So if you know how to manage the levels, I mean, the normal test they do for fighters is the T.E ratio test, the testosterone to epitestosterone ratio. And in most states, if it's higher than four-to-one, you know, four testosterone and for one epitestosterone, then they consider that. a positive test. And for Nevada for a while ahead of the size 6 to 1, one of the things that the Balco people figured out when they were doping in baseball in other sports

was that those tests don't differentiate between 4 to 1 and 8 to 2 and 16 to 4. You can just keep raising the epitestosterone level along with the testosterone. You can beat those tests. The only test that reliably catches the presence of synthetic testosterone is

the carbon isotope ratio test, which most athletic conditions don't even do unless they catch you with the T.E. ratio test first. So, I mean, it's not as if it's going to completely drive testosterone out of the sport, but it will just drive it underground. It will make it so that it's like other sterile and that if you want to use it, you have to, you know, admit to yourself that you're cheating. You got to take a ride to Mexico. Yeah. You know, it's fun. You know, there's just so many, you look around. You go in Vegas now and you're right on around in the cab and you're almost guaranteed to hear some radio ad for, you know,

anti-aging clinic. It was just becoming more culturally popular at the time. So it's not really a surprise that it would also become more popular with fighters who are always looking for an edge. You know, I was watching the 60 minute about the baseball player, Rodriguez, A-Rod, and he was eating those fucking lozenges. Right. Did you see that?

I don't know, you know, goomy bears, whatever you want to call him, but they were testing him after the games. Is that why he wasn't testing positive? Because they dissipate that fast? You know, I don't know if it does that fast. I guess it does a lot depends on what form you take it in. I mean, he's the only guy who ever heard of it, you know, I had taken it that way. But I have heard of with several other fighters where, you know, as long as you give yourself a little bit of time before you know you're going to be tested, that those levels can come down in a real hurry. And that's the thing about it, too. I mean, that's why it was one of the performance. preferred performance enhancers for a lot of guys was because it dissipates so quickly.

And if you're a fighter and you know, here's the data of the flight, here's what I'm going to be tested, you can circle that on the calendar. You know, not only with testosterone, just with a lot of performance enhancing drugs, if you have anybody in your camp who knows what they're doing, it's hard to get caught that way. I mean, you have to screw it up. The only way, you know, drug testing really works is if it's random unannounced, hey, we call you up and we tell you you got two hours to go. get familiar and get tested. You can plan on it.

You ought to be able to beat it. It's amazing. I was on federal probation 20 years ago for drugs. And it was amazing how people were beating them. They would adapt. You just adapt. You know, there was animals that would

tie hot water bottles to their fucking backs, who'd pee in them. And the hose to their dick. You know, I opted for the vinegar thing, which never worked. And cranberry juice. I mean, I remember doing like an eight ball and Sunday night drinking a whole pint of white

vinegar. Do you guys have an idea what that's like? And then drinking cranberry juice. Oh, my God. And then when I failed again, then I started getting cleaners and putting them in my dick, pool cleaners. So when I'd piss, it would fall in the thing. And I just fuck up the whole machine.

I put so many things on my dick so I would beat the test and I would just break the machine then they'd come to my house and come get me it was ridiculous so I can't imagine what these fucking baseball players are doing with money I was a fucking you know

putting stuff on your dick more than you like getting high it seemed like it would be not worse at that place but I could just imagine people because listen when you I had friends growing up in Jersey that were doing steroids and it all started out okay but then it didn't take a genius to notice that it was becoming an addiction to them in a way

You know they were going every fucking three three times a week for shots when it's supposed to be Every six weeks and then you go on your cycle these guys stayed on cycles I had a friend that stayed on anavar cycle for fucking three or four years You know and you're like dog you gotta give you liver and your kidneys a break they didn't give a fuck So in a way a lot of people don't know it becomes something like that that the fighter in the back of his mind might also think hey i need this to fight yeah well and you know you can understand like you hear those ads you know the anti-agent clinic ads and you can understand why it's attracted not just to fighters but just to men in general

because i mean they go down this this lift you feel tired you know you do you feel like you're not as strong as used to be all this stuff and it's like i mean who couldn't say yes to that who couldn't talk themselves into saying yes yeah i want to i want to have more energy you you know, I want to, you know, have more vitality like I imagine I did that might use. You know, that kind of, especially for spiders, you know, they're training two or three times a day and then going, man, I feel tired. Well, of course you feel tired. Anybody would feel tired.

You go and do that stuff. But I think a lot of it comes from, I mean, we just live in this kind of culture where if you feel like anything is wrong, you know, what can I take for it? You know, you go to a doctor and tell them you think you have low testosterone, and most doctors will tell you, you know, lose weight, eat better, get more sleep, that kind of stuff, but people don't want to hear that. I mean, if there's a shot you can take for it, they're going to want that shot. And so there's money to be made off of it, so it kind of seems like one of those things where, you know, it's a cure in search of a disease.

And that's why, you mean, the New York Times has done a lot of stuff on it recently, but talking to doctors to just say, you know, low testosterone, for most people, it's not even a real thing, but, you know, you can just kind of talk anybody into believing how they have it. I, like I told you my story yesterday, I hang around, lot of younger guys and they talk about all that shit and I sit there because I've never believed in any of that shit even growing up I had like I said I grew up in the 80 early 80s and I had friends that were into all that stuff and the last time I saw one of them he was telling me he was buying the shit that they take out of your spine other dead people's

fucking spine it cost $10,000 this is to the level these guys right when I grew up with in Jersey they were bodybuilders so So I never really, I don't like needles. God threw me a fucking blessing. Ben, I don't like needles at all. So they all started telling me about testosterone, get the cream. So they referred me to this one doctor. I went to the doctor.

I took the blood test, yeah, yeah, yeah. Against my physician. You know, I got a family doctor. I have sleep apnea. I wanted it not for any of the above shit. I wanted it because they said it helps you lose weight. That I would exercise more. and I would recover more.

Well, I'll tell you what, man, it was giving me fucking anxiety. I was getting anxiety on planes. I was getting anxiety when I was working out. When I'd be out of breath, I was getting horrible anxiety. I went to a psychotherapist. I didn't know what the fuck it was. And like I told you on the phone, I got to call it. I had a high red blood cell count.

And I was a little upset at first. And I got off it and I started lifting weights because all I was doing was jujitsu and kickboxing it. I was just doing jujitsu and just going to the YMCA. And I tell you, man, I got off it, and I joined the kettle bow class, and I go three days a week, sometimes two, if I have to leave town.

And then I feel fucking better than I get on the testosterone. The only benefit from the testosterone was my dick was hard 24 fucking hours a day. If I was eating sushi, my dick would get hard. If I was eating a cheeseburger, my dick would get hard. And I'm not the type of guy that would cheat on my wife, but I did sit outside a few massage parlors a few times. Just to wonder what it would it be like for a nice little Asian chick

to fucking rub me down and lick my nuts. But I never had the balls, Ben. Like, I never. And that was it. That's the only advantage I got. That if I really wanted to... The only advantage I got to the testosterone was if I was a 50-year-old fucking dirty fuck, and I got myself like one of those 28-year-old hos that you just take them shop,

that's the only and I can fuck this shit out of them drill them until their fucking blood's coming out of areas that's the only advantage I had been besides I didn't really feel the thing and right two weeks after that was when the explosion started on TV

for testosterone sue your doctor you know fucking blood clots like two weeks after that so you know what they did me a fucking favor well you know but that's like even just saying I mean, not the only thing I noticed from it was, you know, my tics are all the time.

I mean, look at how many ads you see for, you know, erectile dysfunction pills. I mean, that alone is going to get a lot of people to think, like, okay, I'll find out for that. But then, you know, like you're saying, now that a lot of doctors are being sued, they think it's linked to heart attacks or strokes. And people don't really know what happens from you doing synthetic testosterone for years. And that is the problem, too, is you start doing it, and once you get on it, it's hard to get up. because your body is going to stop producing its own testosterone once you're injecting synthetic testosterone regularly.

So, I mean, you kind of lock people into this cycle of doing it without really knowing where it's going to lead or where it's going to end. And that's, you know, for regular people, I mean, I think that those are just personal concerns. Everybody has to answer for themselves, you know, what's worse it? You know, what do you get out of the worth of these risks and the unknown that go along with it? For professional fighters, I think it's a different situation because it's not just about you. It's also about the landscape of the sport because if you're getting an contestant, and I've got to fight you in six weeks, now I'm going to think I've got to have something.

This guy's going to go in there. You know, he's injecting this stuff and getting jacked up and going and working out and recovering faster than I will. I've got to do something because otherwise he's going to beat me up and take my money. and it creates basically this kind of arms brace in the sport where everybody's looking for something better, some other kind of edge that they can get on. And then the guys who don't even want to do it, the guys who are worried about the risks to their health with this kind of stuff,

in order just to stay in the sport, they feel like they've got to do it. Like I think that's the really pernicious part that sneaks in there that people don't think. Was the GSP situation a little bit about TRT? Is this what he was saying? And do you believe he was always clean from testosterone? You know, he didn't specify PRT.

He kind of just said that drug testing in general in the sport was lacking. And he's right about that. I mean, you can't really disagree with him on that. You know, like he said before, but anybody who knows here's what I'm going to be tested, it's really easy to beat that test. And the testing is not comprehensive enough what they're tested for. So he's right that the testing in MMA right now it allows,

people to cheat and get away with it if they're doing it's smart. So, you know, I can understand him bringing that issue up now. It did seem like he, you know, he said this, that he wishes he had done it sooner, had done a little more for it. And I can understand him feeling that way now. But I also think, you know, if he wants to get behind it now, whether he's in the sport or just outside of it, whatever, I think he should because I think he's the kind of guy who he's respected enough.

He's got enough money that he's got some independence from the UFC. He doesn't have to worry about them. you know, bashing him, or barring him from ever returning, you know, he can do it. He can be that guy who can kind of push for this and put some pressure on the athletic mission in the UFC and improve the sport for everybody, you know.

And I'm glad to see him doing. I hope he sticks with it. No, it was really, when he started talking about, I read a few articles and whatnot, and it really made me think how a champion, you know. I mean, he's a real champion, the guy. I don't know what happened in the last couple of years. years or what happened with this fight or up to it, but that he was so concerned about it,

which gave me, you know, let me know that maybe he wasn't doing anything at all, you know. Yeah, it makes you think that way. And, you know, it's stuff that you can always throw around the accusation itself. And, you know, even a guy who's never tested positive for anything like him, you know, Lance Armstrong situation, I think, kind of just abused a lot of those notions that, hey, if you just pile up enough clean drug test that you must be clean. I mean, you can beat those forever. So it becomes a thing for pro-athletes.

It's just like with politics sex example. You know, like, I mean, as soon as you hear the rumor of it, you're ready to believe it, just because it happens so often. So, you know, the fact that he is so passionate about it now, I think is the thing that is most likely to make people think that he is clean and is always clean because otherwise, you know, why would you go out of your way to make such an issue? Now, how will this change the landscape of the sport in the next year or so?

What do you think? Because I was thinking about it before I asked you. What do you think about it? Yeah, I think that what's going to do mainly is the guys who are on it now, guys with Chilston and Vitor Belfort, you know, Dan Henderson, it's a bad deal for those guys because for a while, the UFC was cool that the athletic commissions were cool that everybody, you know, kind of kind of had their back there. and now they kind of decided very suddenly, you know what?

No, we're not anymore. It's politically inconvenient for them. They're taking too much pressure, so much heat for it, so they want to distance themselves from it. And it leaves these guys holding a bag. I mean, for Vitor Belfort and Shelfort, especially for Vitor Belfort, because he got right there to the title shot. He got to the precipice there, and now they're telling them,

okay, you have to find a way to do without this really powerful chemical that may have shut off your body's natural abilities. produce the same thing. That's not going to be easy to deal with. And different people are probably going to deal with it differently. But now he has to figure out how his body's going to react and how he's going to move forward from that.

It might just be a matter of he takes six months and gets himself back to normal. It might take a year. I mean, who knows? And it's also a perception problem for him. Because if he goes in there and, you know, he does eventually get a ton of shot and say, Chris Wyden is still the champion. He fights Chris Wyman and he

loses something that could, you know, happen to you regardless of what you're wrong, because Chris Feynman is really damn good. But he goes on there and he loses, of course people are going to say, you know, with the TRT all along, the TRT made you who you are, without it, you're nothing,

you know, without it, he didn't deserve to be here even. And that's probably going to be unfair, but, I mean, that's kind of the bargain that these guys struck without really realizing and not thinking far enough ahead, think all these agencies and organizations pull out of this, and I get branded as, you know,

the face of TRT. That's kind of what's happened to be for. You know, it's, how old have you been? I don't mean to pry in your personal life. I'm 34. You know, I'm 51. It's amazing how this issue has popped in all sports, except maybe basketball the last 15 years.

You know, it started with baseball and heavy, and now it's into MMA. You know, and it's amazing. I remember being a kid, and you never heard about this type. stuff. Yeah. You know, when you...

Well, and that is something I mean, I think people bring up, is, hey, what did people do, you know, what would Joachiano do if you thought he had low testosterone? You know,

he'd deal with it. You eat a fucking steak. You eat a fucking steak and you bang one out and you, you know, what the fuck did you do? What the fuck did you do in the 50s? I mean,

you look at guys like Sergio Leav and those guys. Maybe they were doing like Deca de Roblin or... No, the one from Germany. What's the one that hopes you up the fucking pill, D-Ball, Diana Ball, or something like that. Maybe the Germans had something back then. I don't know the evolution of, but it wasn't to the point.

What had Ben, remember when I was a kid, it was Ben Wheater. That was his name. He supplied supplements in a muscle fitness magazine. I think it was even his magazine. But, yeah, you're right. What would Rocky Marciano did if he found out? He had low testosterone. He ate spaghetti and meatballs.

Right? I mean, I think the thing with, especially with sports, is like a lot of people will say, hey, you know, just take away the testing all together. Let them all do whatever they want. And let's see, you know, that'll create some kind of new level playing field in a way that's, you know, above the current one. And then, you know, just let them sort each other out. And the problem is, I mean, I think it was in the Atlantic, a philosopher there made a really good argument about that where he talked about with the Olympics where I remember a couple of Olympics ago and all the swimmers had those. suits and it's like the special suits that they're getting made and they're really expensive that you could only use them a certain number of times but they started just, you know, shattering records. And then pretty soon it was like, okay, if you want to compete at all, you got to have one of those suits. It doesn't matter if you're the best in the world. The other guys who are almost the best in the world have the suits.

They're going to kill you. You've got to get the suit to get in there. And eventually it becomes, you know, not really the point. And the point of the whole swimming competition was to see who the best individual swimmer was. the point was to see how fast can you get from one into the pool together. You'd use a boat. You'd use a jet ski. You wouldn't even be bothering swimming.

It's not the point. The same thing with fight. I mean, we'll want to see who the best fighter is, not who has the best, you know, lab at home. Who has the best chemistry set. And it's especially concerning because, hey, you lose a swimming race, fine. You lost, you know, you're sad, whatever. You lose a fight, you might have brain damage, you know, especially these guys who are saying, hey, I might have low testosterone as a result of getting hit in the head.

Well, then you definitely shouldn't be injecting testosterone so you can get hit in the head more. And those are a real problem that people are going to face, and it's a lot worse than in other sports. I mean, somebody can get really hurt here, somebody can get killed. And, I mean, MMA is already fairly new and sometimes on shaky political ground depending on where you go and what the climate is. Imagine if somebody gets killed while somebody else is using testosterone with official permission from the organization.

It would be a disaster. You know, you have a question? Well, not about the TRT. I had a question about the fighter who got banned yesterday for something he did like three or four years ago. So keep talking about this. Right. Oh, a little joke, yeah.

Yeah, but one with the Air Force. Yeah, I mean, I understand it's terrible to hit your wife, but he did it three or four years. Like, it was a while ago. I was surprised to see that they took him out for something he did that long ago. Yeah, you know, I think some of that might have been. been like a what did he tell the UFC about it

oh so he hit it okay well I think that from what I've read you know I haven't talked to him about it or talked to the UFC about it yet but from what I've read you know he told him hey I have you know a misdemeanor assault for my record but this was a in the military you know he was

kicked out of the Air Force for it and it was kind of dealt with by the military and it didn't seem like he let them know all you know the full extent of the case there. And so, you know, it's one thing if you tell the UFC, you're a fighter with a misdemeanor assault on your record, there's a lot of that, you know, and there's not, there's even, you know, few fighters in the UFC who have domestic violence stuff

in their past. I think maybe one of the things that the U.S.C. was reacting to was they had kind of pumped this guy up based on his military service a little bit, because then this comes out that he was kicked out of the military for beating his wife, and it comes out, you know, just right before the fight, and I feel forced into a corner where they got. got to do something. I mean, I think you raised an interesting issue where, hey, how long ago does it have to be? Do we, you do something wrong once? Do we punish you for it for the rest of your life? At the same time, you know, you go beating up your ex-wife and hitting her on the head with a knife handle. That's pretty bad. Especially if you want to try and then turn

around and make a living at a fire of all things. I mean, those are tough questions to answer. We have, we live in a corporate world, which changes the rules on a lot of things. It's not, It also doesn't force you to give me an answer. You know, in 1994, I was in Denver, and some girl ran up to me and jumped, like girls jumped to say hello, and I went to grab her, and three days later, somebody said I grabbed her ass,

and I got thrown out of a comedy club for sexual harassment. You know me. I don't know. If I'm going to grab your ass, I'll fucking ask you. And if I'm going to grab you, I'm not going to waste it on your ass. I'm going to grab that fucking monkey and squeeze that motherfucker until you tap. I'm not a fucking sexual predator, but because of that, I have sexual harassment.

I live my life. If somebody would have asked me, I tell them the fucking truth. I tell them just how I told you. The comedy works, how to call me next day, and let me go. No matter if the girl was a stripper, no matter if she was a freak, that wasn't the consequences. It was plain and simple. I grabbed the girl's ass when she jumped on me. I learned to live it.

It did me a favor. It got me out of Denver and made me who I am today. maybe work harder. So every, you know, every situation has a different story. You know, I have felonies. I go get a job and it comes up. 30 years ago, you took the boss in the back and said,

listen, I stabbed the bitch a couple of years ago. We got a problem here? No, come here for 30 days, sell some cars and we'll forget all the fuck about it. Yeah. That's not the issue anymore. And I'm not saying he shouldn't, like, I mean, if he beat up his wife with a knife handle, it's terrible.

But it's just when I saw the article, I was like, It just seems like it's a fighting organization, so anything negative with fighting, they probably just had to throw them out. Well, we just had a situation a few weeks ago with Diago Alves, one of the Theagos, correct? Ben. Diego Silva. Diego Silva. I don't mean to disrespect any Theago's out there.

Diago Silver. So I think the UFC is covering themselves now a couple years ago. Somebody tweeted a racial slur or something, a gay slur. remember Ben and there was a problem then also I forget who it was so the UFC works very hard to have an image and as a fighter you gotta act as a professional

you know and that's in anything so but on the other hand I also saw Dana White with a what's the fucking golf player that the black guy that was cheating on his wife Tiger Woods Tiger Woods had on so I know that

Dana White believes in second chance Yeah, it's just what they do, I guess. It's just a corporation. Do you feel the same way, Ben, or? Well, yeah, well, I mean, I think the USC has to be, or they feel like especially that they have to be really careful about that stuff. Because, you know, like you said, an NFL player beats his life, and, you know, depending on who he is in the circumstances,

and maybe it'll be in the news for a couple days, and then, you know, if the USC, I think they know that they're already, you know, the professional fighting organization, People already kind of look at it like it's a bunch of tattooed skinheads kicking each other in the balls. That impression is still out there among, you know, a size of a portion of the population. They have to deal with that. So I think especially, you know, the UFC has female fighters. It has a lot of female fans.

And so I don't have to get women very seriously. You know, they should send the message that they're not okay with that kind of stuff. I mean, the question of how long does the guy need to be punished? can he ever become a professional fighter after something like that? I mean, that is a tough one who has a story. Dan McGuant, who he served time for man-flaughter, you know, gotten a street fight. He got in a street fight with some kid.

The guy died. He did a few years in prison and then got out and tried to become a professional fighter. And as soon as people found out about that aspect of his past, you know, he basically got pretty much run out of the sport because of it. And it was that same kind of thing. you know, how long should your past follow you? And how long do we say for each crime does it follow you? And you look around at the UFC event, you see Mike Tyson,

and that's like our culture has decided, okay, we're cool with Mike Tyson now. Whatever he did, you know, we're fine with it. And it seems like that kind of stuff, you can never guess what the rules are going to be. You know, some people, it works one way for some people, it seems to work another way, and I think every person has to decide kind of... It's fucking crazy. It really is crazy. Now, how long have you been...

doing the articles on TRT. Because he says you've been following it for a while. For a couple years, probably two or three years. Yeah, I mean, that's, I think after, after Chil Fonan's first fight with Andrew Silva, was when it kind of entered the mainstream consciousness for R&A fans, you know, he tested positive for elevated testosterone

and made that argument that he needed it, that he had hypogonadism, that he needed testosterone. And then, since then, it seems to have become a lot more public. So, ever since then, you know, I've been talking to endocrinologists and doctors and regulators and a lot of people trying to figure it. How do you feel? Do you feel this will help the sport? Do you feel this will hinder it?

Well, I feel like getting rid of it helps the sport because I know a lot of guys who, you know, I've talked to a lot of fighters, even guys who retired fairly recently, he said this is one of the reasons I retired is because these guys are out there on that stuff. And I don't want to get on it. I feel like that's the way I would have to get on it if I wanted to compete. And I think, you know, that definitely exists. I played, you know, one year of college football at a small college where everybody was on steroids. And you knew that, hey, if you want to play on this team and you're not way too good to be at the small college to begin with,

then you'll probably have to get on it because everybody else is. And you either make the choice to do that or you go do something else, and I did something else. So I understand how those guys come to that conclusion. I think, though, that that's only a start. It's only getting rid of the thing that people had permission to cheat. Now you've got to increase the drug testing and make the drug testing so that you're actually going to catch the guys who are doing it without permission because there's a lot more of those guys.

They guarantee you there's a lot more people doing synthetic testosterone than the guys who had the permission for it. Because when you go and you file that paperwork to get permission to do it, you put the microscope on yourself. If everybody knows what you're doing and they're watching you, it'd be a lot easier to do it underground and make sure that you're doing it so that you don't get caught. And it's probably not that hard to avoid getting caught.

But that's got to be the next step, is that if we want, you know, in sports, then, you know, we have to have real drug testing. We don't have it right now. You know, it's funny how if it's not testosterone, they'll find something else. You know, and I both know that they'll find something else. And it's a shame that they'll go underground.

I read a statement that Joe Sondon says that he might have to retire if he doesn't use it. And I don't understand why. I don't get it. If you're a fighter, you're a fucking fighter. I mean, you know, these guys in boxing lied about their ages. Who's the guy, Mom Ali knocked out, Sonny Liston in 64 or something? People said that guy was walking around at 45. I don't think that was fucking to start.

I don't even know. But why would be quick? It puts those guys in a spot, right, where they have to say, look, I need this to compete. But then if they're winning and they're having a lot of success, like Vitor was, they also want to turn around and say, but the test officer has nothing to do with it, like I do. And it can't be both those things. It can't be something where I absolutely have to have it. I have this medical need and I'll be at a severe, like, unovercomable disadvantage if you don't let me have it.

But then when I have success, it was all me. You don't even, you know, look at the man behind the curtain there. It can't be both those things. it's fucking amazing Ben I want to thank you for calling in where can the listeners find you at they can find me on

m.m.a junkie.com where was my articles go also you know sometimes the print edition of USA Today and you could find me on Twitter at Benfoldfmama and you just cover MMA or you cover

college football you bad motherfucker you that's why I love you one of the only get rid of Ariani now that we have what's the name? You know, you look at those flower girls, whatever, those ring girls,

and you know their days are numbered. Once Rhonda Rousey, those days are numbered. What's up? You're going to ask them something. Well, I bet, I was just interested, just a little bit off topic. As a writer, for someone who you see to write for MMA junking, sometimes you get into the print, I used to work in TV,

and I see that the way that's changing. So I, I, I'm interested. Now I'm doing a podcast, and it's new, but it seems like more people are going to different mediums. How, like,

how are you adapting with writing and going from, like, less print to more online to, like when you say it, you should probably say, well, I prefer to have more stuff in USA Today, but maybe,

maybe MMA junkie now has a higher readership than they do. So it's like, how is that affecting what you're doing? Yeah, you know, it does. And, you know, there are a lot more avenues for people.

Like I also do a podcast. I do the co-main of that podcast. It's something I do once a week with Chad Dunn. It was a writer for Bleach Report. And it's one of those things where it gives you a lot more opportunities to kind of get out and do it yourself rather than having somebody give you the opportunity and, you know, put you in the paper and that kind of thing.

And while it's cool, you know, I mean, it's cool to be on the paper. My parents get a big kick out of it. They can go and buy the paper and see it. But then it's also one of those things, where, you know, if you have a story on page 6C as a sports page in USA Today, you know, it's a huge circulating paper in the United States, but you don't know necessarily how many people actually read your article and are going to remember.

And if you remember it, you know, it's not like if they read you on the Internet, not only can you see exactly how many people read your article, they also can take action right there, okay, this guy's on Twitter, they go find out. I mean, it's way easier for the readers to connect with you immediately and to remember you and for you to generate a following that way. It's also easier for, like, a lot of people sometimes will send me emails and ask, like, you know, how to, like, kind of get started with sports writing.

And now it's easy. I mean, you just start your own website, start writing for it. And if you're any good, eventually somebody will see it, hopefully. Before, you know, you needed the editor at some newspaper to give you a chance and hire you on. So, I mean, I think there's a lot more opportunity now because there's opportunity for everyone. It's a little harder to stand out. You know, there's a lot more people kind of shabler. into the void there.

So it forces you to kind of hone your skill and hone your craft so that you stand out. Okay. And do you feel, is there a stigma for online writers? Like when you go to the events, do the people for ESPN or a place like that, do they look down on you or is it so prevalent now that almost everyone there works

for an online site? You know, I think there used to be that more. I think now that's kind of gone away because really anybody you see at USC events who doesn't do some online stuff, and that's kind of, especially with MMA, the fan base is so plugged in. You know, it's a younger fan base, and the Internet is a big part of what kind of helped the NMA

through that dark period when, you know, couldn't get on pay-per-view and didn't have any big TV deals, and everybody was going to websites to figure out what was going on and read about events. And I think that now everybody just expects that, you know, You can write for the internet. Before, it used to be, oh, you're a blogger in your mom's basement. You know, and now it's definitely, there's definitely a different perception.

You know, now it seems more like newspapers are 25-year-old dude sitting there on a type write for the newspaper every day. It's amazing how a young man today that's interesting in writing who gets out of college, can't get a fucking job. You're right. Could sit in his house, go to one of those wiki pages, build a website, write on it. And after six months, if he's any good, he'll get a little sponsor around there. People start reading this shit. He can make t-shirts up. He can put a podcast together, and you're a one-man fucking operation out of your basis.

Right. And I mean, I think it's more like merit-based then. It's not just like, who do you know? And you get the right degree from the right place. It's, you know, do people want to read your shit? And then that's kind of what helps figure it out. It's like you put it up there. And you also, you know, if you put it up there and you have somewhere to write every day,

good for everybody that way. It just forces everybody to find a way to get noticed. I think that there's not enough good writers for MMA right now. A lot of... It's so new that people still get into the genre on it. I mean, anybody who would get into writing for MMA right now, if they really paid attention of, they were good. They would get noticed quickly, I think.

That's just what I feel. And I think that there's plenty of guys who have done that. You know, guys... I think, like, my... My podcast co-host, Chad Dundas, he's a really good writer, and I think it may have been a good way for a lot of people to see that. Chuck Mindenhall at Aaron Rayfiting.com is a good writer. You know, I think you see a lot more of that happening now.

I think it used to be before, but it was just, you know, whoever could be at the events, regardless of whether they could write a good sentence or not, you know, they're going to be the guy who we rely on. And now that it's been around a little bit longer and got some good writers into it, now we're actually seeing, you know, more stories being done, some real craft in there. So, I think it's on an upward trajectory. You're right, man.

Well, thank you, my brother. I appreciate you calling on an early Monday morning. Keep warm-up there in Missoula. If you find out what the eight ball in is, say hello. Thank you for having me on. Thank you very much for calling me. And have a great week. You too.

That was fucking great. Yeah. Because I didn't know much about the TRT and how it works. I'll tell you something that was bothering. me lately and I'm not saying this because I really don't know the stories bro there was a big window of my life

where I didn't pay attention to I was too busy with comedy you know I was busy with comedy and child support that was it from 90 to fucking 2005, 2005, 2004 I was focused on one fucking thing so I missed a lot

and I was thinking about this because I read a little bit about it about Woody Allen okay so he's got a wife a wife adopts a kid one day he just starts dating a fucking kid nobody says

a fucking word he makes great movies well you imagine yeah I mean and it's a it's I don't know the whole story because I was too young but from what I've heard it's like she the wife adopted it and maybe even before they were married or something

and it's they were hanging out and she was old enough or 17 or 18 and then when they broke up they got together. It's creepy, but it's just... It was the sickest thing

I had ever heard and I'd ever digested it and I asked my wife at lunch about three weeks at the time of the story and when she told me it let me know how fucking hypocritical

especially the people are out of here. Yeah. Because you forgive everything if you put you in a fucking movie. Yeah. And me, I don't give a fuck. I'm just saying the situation is garbage.

I mean, it's just somebody else would be screaming to high heavens. And people do scream from time to time. Like I read a little article. Well, they just had that one actress. I forget her name,

who was his daughter, too, who he said abused her. He abused her a few weeks a month or two ago. I forget the actress's name. But I mean, I guess it's kind of like the Michael Jell, we're doing the podcast in the 90s,

but it's kind of like the Michael Jackson thing. I mean, he were not, they're 18 kids. kids who said he, they touched him, or he touched them. Some of them have to be telling the truth. It's like, I mean, it's, that guy, I mean, Woody Allen's made great movies, but he's a creepy old, he's a creepy old Jew. I mean, I don't know.

He likes Asian girls. It's, uh, it really is crazy. Let me give some shoutouts to my main man, Greg, and Lynn Powers. Thank you for sending me to sweatshunk for all the love. Leck Money, Connor, Scotland, David Camargo, Rick Monty. Kreef, Joshua Woodworth, and Caesar Forres. I love you, motherfuckers. Thank you for paying attention and doing your fucking thing.

You know what I'm saying? Also, I want to give a shout out to Huluplus.com. They ain't fucking around. You understand me? Binge on TV shows, watch them under what hell you want. Plus is the fucking word here, because it's tremendous. Now, if you go to the website, Huluplus.com, they give you seven days for free, and it's $7.99 a month, correct?

Correct. I'm going to give you two weeks for free and $7.99 a month. You go to Hulu Plus or you go to joeydeers.net and there's a Hulu Plus box. In the box you press. Joey. Boom. Two weeks, gratis. Bam.

$7.99 a month. Who's fucking better than me? You don't have to go out of the house. You don't got to do this. You don't have to do that. They got Brooklyn 99 on there. They got the show with the dirty wife on CBS. They got everything on there.

Documentaries. You know, the movie. The movie. One that they do. themselves. It's like inside the world of sports mascots. My wife watches all that shit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I want to check that one out. She's on Hulu Plus constantly. So my wife's a painly ass. HuluWplus.com will work for you.

Go to joeydeers.net and in the box you press. Joey. You get two weeks, gratis 799 a month. I also want to give a shot to my main motherfucker's dollar shave club. Why walk around looking like Abe Lincoln when you get a show a fucking razor for a dollar? $6 or $9 a month Delivered to your fucking door Not only that Not only do they do all that stuff

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The razor they sent you, the handle. That's a weapon. You got two of those. You put a spring. You take a string. That's a fucking new chuck in any society. You understand me? And that's how we do with you.

I also want to give a shout out to escapapotank.com. Listen, as far as rotation tanks go, I've been asking around these fucking people know what they're doing over escape pot tank. I took to my man, Germany a day. Me and Lee are going to take it right to San Diego to one of their spots. They have some tanks down there. We're going to jump in. We're going to make a video.

What do you think about that, Lee? I love it. I've been wanting to do it for a while. Yeah, let's go down there. So sometime in May we're going to go down there, and we're going to make a video of myself and Lee going in a fucking tank. I'm going to blow shotguns in his face.

Do you get a goo me on the way down or something? You know, eat the whole fucking goomy solo, like John Lennon and 16-9. I might not come out of that thing. Who gives a fuck? When you don't come out for a few weeks. I love that. You go in there and dream about enchiladas and fucking pussy.

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or they can fly out and install it for you for additional extra charge. You've got to put them up, feed them, smoke weed with them, do bongics for Jerry's kids. But escapodtank.com, they're fucking solid. And they have a great website. So, like, because we don't know everything about it. We know the basics.

Email them or call them. Like, I mean, you said, Jeremy, the owner is great. Just ask him some questions about it. He's a bad motherfucker. I love him for debt. He's honest. He's a good old boy up there in Nebraska. So give him a holl, all right?

And that's it. What the fuck you want from me? What the fuck? Now you know about TRT? Now you know about sticking to your fucking roots when you were a young man, whatever for a young woman. Let's say you were a ballerina. Whatever the fuck you are.

Don't quit now. Fucking stick it out because that'll keep you. and that thing that'll keep you thinking like you were when you were 13, which is the most important thing. Think about it. When you were 13, you know what you wanted to do. You know, you look at people who got to smoke cigarettes and you call them creepy.

Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? You had this fucking view of the world that's not a bad view. It's really who the fuck you are. But as you get old, you tainted and you throw shit out of it, negativity and fucking, you listen to the news and they talk about gym teachers and fuck kids up the ass and it fucks you up.

You don't want that in your mind. Right. It's crazy how, as you get older, the more things you try to quit. Like, I remember that as a kid. What do you want to quit? No, nothing now, but I'm saying, like, when I was a kid, like, when you're not the best at something, like, I quit soccer and baseball. And I did Taekwondo for, like, eight or ten years. I was never the best at anything.

But I got up until a red belt, and I should wait. If I did it for one more year, I probably would have a black belt. You would have gone a little sidekick. Side kicks for Jesus. I had my favorite trophy. In first grade, I won a tournament. It was either for forms or for fighting. It was probably forms, if I had to guess.

And when I got it, I remember, I weighed in. I was 45 pounds, and the trophy was as tall as me. I had to throw it away with my mom moved because she couldn't, why was she going to carry a trophy from when I was in first grade. But it was a, I did it for years. I did it for years. I had a couple trophies. I remember how proud I am.

Basketball. trophies and karate trophies. I had a little trophy while I had them all stacked up. I had a little basketball fucking trophy. And I still remember that one time I squirt 31 points. I had a little article that said, Cocoa Diaz drilled home. Drilled home. You understand, really?

When was the last time you drilled home a motherfucker? Dilled them home, Cocksucker. Not like that. Sexually. Very disgusting thing. You should give a, why haven't you given me a trophy? I feel like adults should get trophies. Sure.

I'll give you a fucking trophy. I'll a trophy of my fucking cock. How about that? If it's a trophy, I'll take it. A fucking trophy. You're 15. You're 25 years old. No more fucking trophy.

You know, your trophy is a $100 dollar bill. When you go to the Bank of America, you deposit. How happy would you be if I came in and handed you a trophy of a $100 bill? Here you go. I'd fucking smash in a head of a 15 time.

You would, but you look at it and you take it home. You put me a little desk. Are you fucking crazy? No, who doesn't like getting a trophy? I don't want no fucking trophies, all right? People get a trophy. Let's give him a trophy of hummus. I'll take it.

I'm disgusted. I'm going to be a Fort Lauddale this week. Thursday, Friday, Saturday with my main man, Edwin San Juan. That's a good show. Ricky, boom, boom, cruise, direct, and shit. I haven't seen. Ricky used to live up here. One night I took him to some house to see some chicks suck of the guy's dick.

The next week, we're the Tempe improv, myself, and the other Jew. Fucking Ari Safian. How's that one for you? He's pulling his way down driving right now from San Jose. Can you believe they drove? They're like fucking Port of it. on the fort. I can't believe it.

I really can't. You know, I believe in saving time and energy and shit. This fucking guy, he's out there driving across country. They want to stop at some fucking place. Hmm. You want to stop at some place.

And fuck around. Go fuck yourself. We're all fucking people. Everybody got time to fuck around. You know what I'm saying? And that's it. We got a great podcast on Wednesday. I'll be here for Lauderdale.

I'm happy that this guy called in today from the TRT. and shit like that because I had Bredici call in so I wanted to have both perspectives you know. I talked to Bredici the other day. I'm happy I'm not on the testosterone. I'm doing a lot better. My breathing's doing better. I'm a lot fucking happier.

That's great. Listen, man, you can put whatever the fuck you want. I always felt this way. I'm going to do TRT or steroids because I'm doing something professional. I'm making six figures in the labbing motherfuckers or to the floor or picking them up. I'm not going to do

steroids to walk around to show people what. To do what? They'll get a tattoo on my arm like some fucking moron And cut my shirts off And have big arms and a fat fucking stomach What the fuck is wrong with people, Lee? Just be yourself. Who gives a fuck?

Fucking momos. Fucking momos. Have a great day. Stay black. I love you guys. The church of what's happening now. Always. Always.

Oh, and for people who have been asking, I'm going to try to do a YouTube page. They kept taking it down because of the music. So what I'll do is, is I'm going to cut the both ends of the music off so you might miss a little bit of the intro, but I get hit up every day for this YouTube page. And YouTube, if it has any music and if they keep taking it down for us,

because we have a lot of subscribers. So I'm going to try to put it up, so I understand that. Listen to the other podcast we do, and I have a flying due t-shirt out. I appreciate it. Everyone who ordered it, I'm shipping those out today, and that's it. All right, have a great week. We'll see you here Wednesday.

Stay black and beautiful. Now that the show's over, don't forget to sign up for your free trial. Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus, let's see you binge on thousands of it shows anytime, anywhere on your TV, PC, smartphone, or

tablet. Support this podcast to get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus when you go to Huluplus.com slash Joey or go to joey-d-d-d-s.net and click on the Hulu-plus banner. Don't forget to sign up for Dollar Shaveclub.com.

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