The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #170 | LEE SYATT | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: June 8, 2022

Welcome to UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT..... It's Wednesday, June 8th.... Today we caught up with LEE SYATT & talk about the Amazon AMP App!!! Download AMP for Apple here & follow UNCLE JOEY: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/amp-host-live-radio-shows/id1586403838?ppid=f56ebc6e-1622-4ad2-89bf-85a766dd6c4c This podcast is ALWAYS presented by ONNIT! https://www.onnit.com This episode is also brought to you by Factor, Fully Prepared Meals, Delivered to your Door, CBD Lion & Draft Kings... Go to https://go.factor75.com/joey120 and get $120 Off your Order! Go to https://www.cbdlion.com Use Promo Code: JOEY For 20% OFF Your Order! Support the show by downloading the DraftKings Sportsbook app, and use promo code JOEY to get $150 in free bets when you spend $5 on UFC 275… If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat  (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 1-877-770-STOP (7867) (LA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA/MI/NH/NJ/NY/OR/ PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. Min. $5 deposit required. Eligibility restrictions apply. See http://draftkings.com/sportsbook for details. Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #LeeSyatt #Amp #Factor #CBDLion #DraftKings The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... https://spoti.fi/unclejoeysjoint

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It's Wednesday, the 8th of June. Welcome to the joint. It's been a great fucking week so far. I'm feeling good. I had a little blast of fucking diarrhea

of the other night in the middle of the night. It was a nightmare. I went to fart and it came out the juice. I had to run out of bed. I'm sorry to open up the podcast with this, but sometimes you just got to be

fucking honest. It's a beautiful day to be alive, man. A lot is going on, but then again, nothing's going on. I can lie to you. There ain't the shit going

on. I'm just getting ready for the fucking summer. See what we're going to do with the Burt tour. See if I get on stage one night this week to keep working this. But today we're going to talk about, I want to talk to you guys about something. You know, I didn't know where I was going to go with Ozzy's Boneyard. When I moved here, Ozzy's Bone Yard had me do a couple Ozzie's devil sets or whatever the fuck they call. I mean, it was great and they still talk to me and stuff like that. But what happened at Sirius was they took their money. And they gave it to guys like Morello and guys like, you know, the bass player,

Duff from Guns and Roses. And, you know, I mean, for me, I could do sessions on there, and they send you a check, a little check, nothing to get rich on, you know, nothing like that. It's just a check, and I love doing it, but it didn't seem like it was going to go anywhere. Like I said, I'm still friendly with those guys. They still send me stuff and invite me the stuff. I just, it's the way things go. I'm not mad at serious.

I'm not mad at the heavy metal. Any of that shit. I just, you know, I support. I love them. But, you know, you, I've never, since you've been watching the church and all this shit, I've never told you to stop giving up. You know, we don't give up here on the church. So I've been scratching my head on the Patreon.

I do like the album of the week and it's, it is what it is. But Lee sent me an email a few weeks ago about this app called AMP. And if you guys could do me the biggest favor and download the, app it won't cost you a fucking dime it's a little yellow app it's I think it's part they're owned by Amazon and what

that does is I could be up my own little fucking DJ at night you set up a set list of how many songs you want to play you know and you just go live on the fucking computer on the internet all you need is a is the AMP

app and so please download your AMP app and send it in, and then in a few days they'll send you an email. It's not going to cost you a dime. I wouldn't ask you to do some if it was going to cost your money. I'm not one of those fucking clowns. And let's experiment with this. You know, Mike's into music.

You know, I'm into music. Lee, as he's the guest today, he'll tell you that he wants to do a comedy one because they have comedy on there. It's a great fucking app. And if we get it going, like maybe, I don't know, Wednesdays at 9 o'clock at night, that means LA at 3 you know like a late night LA at 6 I'm sorry

I like to do something like that so download the app what I'm going to do is find a night that I'm home that I could just sit back here with you motherfuckers and just play fucking music not the same music we've been playing these guys got everything

I thought that they would have like a limited amount like this band doesn't want to do it but I guess everybody's on Amazon pays for your fucking whatever and you are do your own fucking radio show and that's what we're about guys we create our own things I mean now these apps

are making it that you don't you need less and less you have no excuses or you need to fucking computer your computer has a mic on it right the fucking pads that I have have the mic on them just like your fucking phone you're talking to the mic

and listen man I tape my fucking Patreon messages on my phone we tape with the fucking with the fucking phone I mean, you know, there's so many things you could do with the phone. Listen, it's not going to be studio fucking quality. But then again, when there's any, you know, you know what I'm saying? That's what you signed up for because it's pirate fucking radio.

Yes or no? So let's download the AMP app. Do Uncle Joey a big favor? Download the app, please. Not going to cost you nothing. You know, hit me on Twitter or on Patreon. Let me know you got it. And fucking, I'll start doing, I'll put together a little radio show at night for us, you know?

just an Uncle Joey playlist. I don't give a fuck. I'll do a Spotify play. I'll do whatever fuck you guys want to talk about. You know, there, I'll take suggestions and shit. We'll do some different things. I don't think I could take calls and stuff like that. I don't think I'd go around playing Eddie Trunk.

But it would be a good fucking time. So do me a favor. Download the AMP app now. Do Uncle Joey a favor. Lee a favor. Mike a favor. We're all going to get on this fucking thing. And that's it.

No more cans with a string in between. We've come a long fucking way, cock suckers. I'm feeling good. I'm going to go do some comedy Thursday night this week to work out Friday. I got a softball tournament. I got a softball tournament. I think if she wins, she plays Sunday. It's a fucking all-weekend type thing.

But, hey, that's what I signed up for. Beside that, man, I got Leon today. I got to get Leon once a month just to break it down for you motherfuckers. See, today we talk about stand-up, you know, the fun of stand-up. And just me and Lee. I love you, motherfuckers. Enjoy the podcast. And I'll see you guys next week.

There's no outro. I'm just going to outro it right from the Zoom video. Why fuck around with you, Cuck Suckers? I love you. Stay Black. And don't forget, DNA comes out on June 18th at the ice cream shop. I just gave Mike a chunk of it to try. I told him stuck it in the Thanksgiving turkey.

It's scary to look at. It's brown and gray. It's got orange hairs. And we got tremendous coming out July 26th at the ice cream shop, all products of Ziki. And let's narrow it down. The motherfucker, the laughing gas division with Uncle Joey. We gave a ton of way away last weekend Atlantic City. Hopefully you fucking like it.

And when we come to Jersey, you'll be buying it at the store. That's all I can tell you right now. Stay black. I love you. Have a great week. And enjoy it. Lee Syatt on the joint Zoom today. Can you see that I'm not wearing pants?

No? Hell no, I see that you were in a Nintendo 64 shirt, and I want to fucking play Golden Eye. Did you see that they might be re-released on Xbox? I did not see that. That's pretty cool. There's some kind of, like, leaderboards or, like, things, like, in the Xbox thing that have, like, chat.

You know, like, when people, like, get achievements and shit, and it shows up. You know what? I haven't had an Xbox since the first one. Yeah, really? I was always too, I was never good enough at video games to play online. don't think of literally ever I know that's not true me either I played uh fortnight online a little bit my brother that's my brother's game right now dude he won't get off it it's still going on wow

i thought by now people will be done with it they're getting like star wars in it and shit but oh that's cool love you brother here you're gonna love you too here's the x-men and nintendo 64 i love it 90s kids we're 90s kids we're wearing nerdy shirts nerd shirts nerd shirts Oh shit. Party up and down. He's getting something ready here. I don't know what's going on. I'm assuming it has something to do with Jesus and the Bible.

What's happening, brother? Hey, buddy. It's a beautiful fucking Wednesday. The Joez Show. Who gives a fuck? What's up, Tazan? You're looking more, more like the dude from fucking, what's that dude's name? The guy from my name is Earl that lost all the weight with the beard.

And shit. Yeah. It's starting to look like him. Or he needs two big fucking muscles over here and it's all over, but they're shot. Even simply, I look more like him before he lost the weight than now. But, God, he's so ripped. I don't know how he does it. He just went all balls and started lifting weights and throwing houses around.

And you just get fucking ripped after a while. I don't know how people do it anymore. What's happening, brother? I'm doing great, man. I'm just happy. It's been a good couple weeks. I feel like I was just out to see you. That was a blast.

I don't know what's good. Life is happening. What's happening with you? We just finished up that fucking Atlantic City. Yeah. And, you know, Lee, it was fun. It wasn't me on stage. Like, it was just rough getting into myself.

I just got off the phone with Ari. And I was telling Ari that I figured out what's wrong. You know, when you, I haven't been having fun. Like I like going out. For me, to just get in the car and go do comedy for 10 minutes gets my dick hard.

For right now, that's what gets my dick hard for right now. But at the same time, when I go to these places, like, I try to go to these places. I don't even want to announce it no more. You know, I try to either go to like New Brunswick, the Stress Factory,

or I go to my Mandinos or Vinnie Brands is great, too, over at New Brunswick. Great club. Great, food around there. Fucking Vinnie, Denos is great. Vinnie's,

uh, Uncle Vinny's comedy club. They got like a lobster shack next door to it. Oh. They got a Chinese joint next to it. They got the whole block is, you know, Point Pleasant's got great food.

Plus you got a fucking Lobody's down there. I think, I think you got a Lobody's down there. But anyway. So, you know, these clubs are not the comedy store. And that's okay.

I don't care. So when you go to them, it's like, you know, during the week, it's not like, you know, you're getting a massage in the back.

Sam's giving you a massage in the back and fucking, they're giving out free weed. It's a regular show. Like I started at Westminster at, uh, Whitsend, the comedy club. Right. Three guys, everybody goes home,

nobody hangs at the bar, you know, it's just a comedy club, you know, so I've been just trying to go down there and get on stage, but the problem is that I want to have fun now. Now it's time to have fun now. Now it's time to have fun.

Open mic in for me. Right now I want to go through that whole open mic process. I went from 93 to 95, which is just show up, right, show up, right, show up. I can't do it every night. Like tonight I got a softball game. Tomorrow night I got something else. What Friday she's got a softball game. Saturday she's got a softball game.

You know, I'll try to get out Thursday night this week. But I haven't been having fun yet. It's hard. It's a big part of it. I went through a very small version of that, but I had such good friends that I did open mics with in L.A. That when I came back to Boston, it was just a very different experience.

It was an hour away. I didn't know anybody. It was instead of, it was four hours of waiting. And it just, the last open mic I did here, I hosted for four hours. And not a single person. got a laugh the entire four hours. And I, including myself, I'm including myself.

And I had to go up and down steps every three minutes. And my legs hurt at the end of the night. And I just, I was sitting there. I was like, what am I doing? And the sad part is I do miss it. But it's just I didn't, I'm a very antisocial person. And not even antisocial. I'm just shy.

I don't like talk. I'm not good at going to a group of people that I don't really know and like it takes me a few times of seeing you to be like okay i can talk with this person and it just it was hard for me to get into the groove but i feel sim i miss it a lot and i didn't do it for as long as you did it or as successfully so i can't imagine how you feel for young comics it's very hard to say this but i'll tell you a story to follow it and it doesn't concern it doesn't involve me it was ari when arie first was starting out you know He was doing comedy, I don't know, five, six years, not making any money, you know, hanging out at the store.

He wasn't really a regular. He says that one night, Ralphie said to him, how long have you been doing comedy? And whatever, Ari replied to him. And Ari said, and he goes, oh, my God, that's the best time of doing comedy. And Ralphie, you know, Ari goes, what, being broke? And he goes, you don't, it's not that the fun you have at those open. The reason why you're broke is because you're having fun. Right.

And you don't really give a fuck. You're part of a click that Mike's broke, I'm broke, you're broke. Everybody's fucking broke, okay? Like I said, nobody drives for an open mic and Lamborghini. So everybody's broke. So after a couple months, we get to realize that we're a fearsome threesome. Okay, one for all and one for whatever that fucking thing is. All for one and one for all.

Yeah, so now it's like me, Josh Wolf, Gavin, and Brody. You know, how much you got? I got four. I got ten. I got 11. We get nachos, we could do this, or we could hold off and just get a thing of nachos and split them three ways. And then we'd go to McCormick and Schmitz for the happy hour. I don't know if I can make McCormick and Schmitz.

I need a hamburger right now. But the hamburger later is going to be two bucks at 10, you know? So, but now let's get away from that. You look at that and you're like, Joey, what's so fun about that? When you look back at that, you go, oh, my God. what would you rather do? Do us three just discussed we're doing a split of cheeseburger and nachos

or we got to get on a fucking conference call because they want me, Lee, and fucking Mike want to work together and Mike's agent won't allow it because, you know, Mike wants to do it. He's already told his agent he wants to do it, but we have to have a conference call because Mike feels that fucking, since he just came out in the movie, He should get 40%

and me and Lee should get 30% of the commit. And we, that's not fun. That is not fucking fun. When you're aging, call, you and says, what do you want to charge? $35 or $55? If you charge $50 and you're like, I just want to have fun.

Well, that's, that's, that's, I don't care. Give me a number that could pay my rent, cocaine, the hooker. You know, that's what you want. Just give me the budget. What's it cost to, To be with a hooker for two days and stab her at the end,

once the pimp want, and clean up the room, dispose the body, I want to do coke. It's going to cost you eight dots. Just give me eight times. You know what I'm saying? Like, I just want what I need. I don't want nothing above.

I don't need to drive a nice car. I could have lived that way forever because you're doing what the fuck you want. Right. So you're taking $20 less, but you don't got to deal with anybody. Right. You're not going to put on a shirt and a dress. You don't got to go to a sales meeting.

So these are the things that are fun. Sometimes being broke is a lot more fun than just having money. I'll take your word for it. You know, let me put it this way, guys. Okay, right now we're doing our thing. Allison Chains is playing with fucking, I'll give you an example. And the people at home understand this. Michael understand this a little bit better than you.

Allison Chains is playing with Bush. October 7th at the fucking at the PNC okay if we have money we just call each other Mike what do you want to do there's tickets on third row

bro for the extra 25 it's 180 who gives a fuck just buy the ticket Joey all right we buy the tickets 180 a piece three fucking tickets to go see two bands 180 is way overpriced but that's what the deal is today and then I call

We're not going to drive. We're getting fucked up. We're taking edibles. I got to get a limo. We're taking an Uber X. Go fuck yourself. We're taking an Uber Pimp, Jack. So, you know, and before that,

we're going to get a nice dinner. We've got a nice 300-hour dinner, a couple steaks. We're going to go in there and guess what, guys. At the end of the night, we're just going to walk into the concert. Whatever is going to be great on the guitar. Allison Chain is going to be great. Bush, and we go home. Let me rewrite that story for you.

Right now, Mike calls me. Doug Bush is playing tonight. Did you know? No, I didn't. Do you want to go? How much of the tickets, Mike? 28. Okay, I got like 22.

Let me see if I could borrow 20. Call Lee. Tell Lee about Allison Chain. See if Joey could borrow 20. Yeah, he'll give you the 20. What is that 20 going to do for it? We're going to get three joints. You know?

We're going to go down to that dinner that we talked about at the restaurant. Forget it. He had a peanut butter and jelly from his kid. I took fucking mercy sandwich and you, I don't know, you took your mother's bingo sandwich. We fucking eat and then we go to this content,

but when we're getting this content, we're up in the back, and all of a sudden, Mike sees his friend from the open mic and he waves us over, and we're down in third row, and all of a sudden joints are passing around, and there's a chick who keeps smoking,

pot and drinking, and the more and more she falls asleep and by the third song, she's fucking passed out in the thing, and every 20 minutes you check her, and I go, that bitch is dead, and you keep down in a hole, and all of a sudden somebody gives you hit acid.

He knows what I'm talking about. The chick that's happening at the beginning. I love it. And she's bouncing the ball and shit. And once the concert starts, that bitch is done. She's passed out. Everybody's watching her. Some guys are looking to finger her.

But some dude just saying, what should we do with this chick? She's just passed out. Fuck it. That's what you get for drinking at two in the afternoon. And then we laugh at that. Then fucking Mike's friend says, come with us. And we walk down Philadelphia Street. We go get a hot door.

We didn't have any money. But the guy, Mike, friend, and said give Joey and all of a sudden we went to a concert for $18 a piece we ate three hot dogs we did acid we did all these things on the last minute right that's how comedy is sometimes yep and even even with that concert because i just went through this you let's say you put all that money into it there's a lot more at stake you're expecting a lot more from the concert you could have both of you could have been down in front of one in the bleachers, but because you only spent 20 bucks, you don't care that they didn't play this song or that the sound wasn't great.

When you're spending a grand a night to go to see this, you're like, this better be fucking good. There's a lot more at stake. And that's why, even with me, you're saying with the comedy, oh, I just need what I, what I like to live, I was paying to do open mics. I was happy when I did a set that I got 20 bucks and a drink tick. Like, that was a good night. night for me.

But that's got to stop. I mean, I was only two years in. I was early. That works in L.A. in New York. Listen, I don't mind bringing 10 people. You know? When Mike plays his guitar and he does his open mic,

he's got to bring four people. So we all go support him. He comes to us. He brings his brother, whatever. That I don't mind. I never got pissed off at that. I got pissed off at taking money from comics.

That's something. that has always bothered me. You know, any artist, musician, painter, you know, whatever, comic, I don't like when they get abused those first five years because it leaves a taste in your mouth. I hope you don't get abused because people are scumbags, they do. Try to take advantage you, come do this gig, and also they put $5 on your hand with two drink tickets,

and you're like, fuck, I drove an hour and a half. But that's, you got to pay your dues in the beginning, you know, But that's, I didn't want comics to pay five bucks to get on stage. You know why? I never did. I don't even know if anybody charged then. I'm trying to think it was because I was cheap at the time or whatever. But I only remember having to bring people in New York.

Like when I came to New York in 93, I had to bring people to comics, real people that stand up in New York and all that shit. And then you go to Colorado and there's no such. Just come to the booker. It'll say, just come. It's a bar show. I don't expect nothing, you know what I'm saying? So I don't know, I don't like that.

I didn't like that in L.A., but in L.A. I didn't like open mic in L.A. I was very against it because it made you, it put more pressure on you. It took the fun away. It took the fun away because there's always that one kid that comes in. Yeah, I think I'm going to sign with Gersh. This ain't a Gersh party. This ain't a Gersh type. In Seattle, when I was in open mic, my kid, nobody talked.

an agent. You just have a club in a basement on a Monday and Tuesday. What are you fucking talking about CBS? What are you talking about? Right. And I get that. I just got very lucky with a few people in L.A. I definitely saw a lot of that and a lot of people would come in that had delusions of grandeur, which I'm sure is everywhere now. But I, it's just different. It's you're following a, dream even though it's not going to happen for 99.5% of the people doing it. And it's just, like, this is working this job, which I actually really like for the past six months has shown me. I have a lot more respect for a lot of my friends that were doing the open mics.

Because a lot of my days were free. There were days that we had to do stuff, but I had a lot more time than they did. And to see the difference between a job and then following a job. and then following a dream, there's a big difference. There's a big difference, and stand-up is fun. Like, that's, I love,

I watch stand-up almost every day. I love going to shows. I have more fun doing stand-up than I do watching stand-up. Making those people laugh like that, at my level, was some of the most fun I've ever had. It's just, it's just, me, especially me, you know me, I'm a shy,

I don't like being the center of attention, but something about being on stage when it's working, it's just, it might even be better than sex at some points. I think even when it's not working. See, I don't like that. Just fucking being, listen, it's an uncomfortable feeling.

It's an uncomfortable feeling as fuck. But, God, what else makes you that fucking uncomfortable? Coming in two minutes? You know, eating a hot chick and going, I'm going to fuck your brains out, and then taking her upstairs and giving her a 30 second squeeze. And what happened? I don't know.

You know, there's so many fucking things that, like, for me, you know, I was a drug addict at the time. My dick got hard when I opened up a fucking box and I saw a kilo or Coke or a bundle of 20s. You know, that was what got me on before. stand up with stealing and doing all that stupidity. Anato type. Walking on that, I, there's a lot of things in my life I don't remember. Like, I remember, but you can't really, I remember the day, but I don't remember the feeling. I remember the feeling I had when I saw them throw dirt on my mother's casket for the first time.

And you turn around, it's a horrible feeling. I remember the feeling of getting off that stage that. night. I will never forget that feeling. You know why? Because I will never get a drug that strong to make me feel that way. There isn't a drug in the earth to describe to you how a person feels when they got on stage for the first time and they just bucked. Listen, the feeling of euphoria that you get anytime you don't think you're going to do something and you do it. The time you looked at that girl and says, I'll never get a girl. And all of a sudden, you're with and you're sucking their titties

and you're coming on the stomach and you're like, I got to go back to my house and think about what just happened. You know, all these things. When Mike first got in the band, they played a song up on stage and they're walking off. What's the feeling, Mike? You can't come. A blowjob ain't coming close to that feeling.

When people are clapping at anywhere. Nothing comes close to the high from making people feel good. And then it goes back to making somebody's day every day. Yeah. Stand-up is branched off that. You have to want to make somebody's day every day. You're not going to fucking kill that audience. When you do a show, whether it's a thousand people or 40 people, there's one person

in that audience you're going to really get to. And as you expand the numbers, it's more. When Guns and Roses does a 20,000-seat arena, they're entertaining 20,000 people. but they're getting to a percentage of that. Yeah. They're team people who got that euphoric. They haven't seen them before. They,

whatever, they've never been to a live concert before, you know, anything live will always rock your fucking world. Baseball games, a play, you know, anything live.

And I still don't really understand what, like, what we did with the church. I really don't. I do, but I don't. really get it, but I was driving the other day, and I wasn't having a good day. I was listening to a podcast, and for a second, I was laughing, and I didn't expect to laugh, and I was just, it took

me away from having a, I wasn't a, but, you know, I wasn't in the right space of mine. And I was driving. I was like, fuck, I finally understood some of those emails or things when people say, oh, I've been listening to you for 10 years. I appreciate it, but it doesn't really make sense to me. But I think it's the same thing with podcasting is that for some for even like a second people will forget oh shit I I'm laid on the rent or my boss is a dick or whatever

I think I think all this stuff is great for that it does it does It's a Like someone I was on I was taking I took a walk yesterday And one of the guys was saying His favorite part of the church was the openings

with the music and you screaming and throwing shit at me and dancing like one of the best openings was Titoro and the actor Rapaport

Rapaport you got all four of us just dancing opening that was those openings man were just fun even for those 30 seconds was more fun than I've had in two years like those it was just fun

You know, man, those are some fucking, again, nobody knew. Listen, I knew what I was doing when I was doing stand-up. I want people to understand this. I knew what I was doing. From the minute I got on stage, I knew what I was doing, then you get more hip to it, and then you learn the process. But you know what you're doing. At least you know where you're going.

You know, when you join a band, we're going to play fucking Pearl Jam songs. I know where I'm fucking going. There's been a thousand million bands before me. There's been a thousand comics before me. We're podcasting. I did not know where we were going. You understand me? So it didn't matter to me whether I wanted to throw spaghetti on the wall

or to let your nutsack on fire then. Remember, the podcast game has changed dramatically in 10 years now. You get flagged with Jesus Christ. Who fought it? That cat just blew a tremendous. It's not. Can't blame me. So now it's a different game with the podcast.

Now people have a beginning, a middle, and ending. You can't put music in them. Bab, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. You can't. And you're sitting here going, okay, you know, you can't. If you take an album and put it on in the background and fucking show that you get flagged by copyright. If you say the wrong thing, you come up in your fucking videos, no under 18 can watch. It's a different fucking world today.

So, you know, again, but we could still push the envelope from time to time. You could still push it. I mean, you know, listen, I just found the clip a couple days ago. Somebody made like a little clip, and I was saying some wild shit. I was saying some wild shit. I'm like, wow, that hasn't gotten flagged, and that hasn't gotten me canceled yet or anything. That's an old, you know, but nobody knew what we were doing. Yeah.

And who gave a fuck? We made and broke. the rules while we were doing it. Yep. And we set the bar where we wanted to, you know, people doing mushroom, going to do a set, people passing out, people's changing lives, you know, my neighbor, this nice lady, she sells real estate in town, her and her husband are a real estate team, their sweethearts, they don't curse, they got two kids, and one of their daughter plays with

my daughter. So we saw them, and I, and she kept talking to her husband about her. something and she goes you know what my brother used to work for somebody and the entity he's like a producer and she goes when I told him I was going to go see you he said that you were the dude that fucking killed Owen Benjamin what does that mean and I had to tell this nice fucking lady about an edible and when I called him he had to be up by the fucking cheese fake cake

factory up on Sepovita that's where he was that night for people who want to know and Leo did it all the way there Doug, he was at my house and he made it to fucking Sepovita and Ventura that's a fucking hike walking that edible that edible gave your energy

fuck Red Bull because that motherfucker walked to Sepovita that night when I called him that night and he answered the phone this is now I can look back at that story and tell you exactly what happened when I you ever smoke a joint

go for a walk guys two joints and get really high and go for a walk It's a beautiful fucking thing. The first 10 minutes are a little uncomfortable, and then you become a slave to your mind. And you just walk and think of all these things, and reefer and fucking, and you're getting all of a sudden,

you bump into the hot dog band. It's like, listen, before people started getting stabbed and you had to wear masks and shit in New York, you want to fucking, you could either go to a psychiatrist or you could smoke a joint in the village and start walking. I used to smoke a joint on 178th Street and start walking. start walking I would put on

really gay I'm telling you the time period this was my favorite album was at the time were rat invasion of your privacy 1985 I would get off port authority smoke you know I was going through hell

at that time I was still fucking mourning my mother I was doing a thousand fucking things and I would just fucking smoke the best weed Biden Harlem and walk from 178 talk sometimes I make it to 125 Jesus

This, you know, on the 25th Street, just to go to Harlem and take the express train, the A train down. Because after that, you got to take the train with every stop. Just dumb things like that. You could just walk and break down your life. What's your next move? What's your next? You know, that's a form of meditation that worked for me for years. Just smoking a pot and go for a walk.

Where are your phones on? That's it. And whatever problem you got when you begin that walk, when you get back from that walk, that problem will be solved. You're like a fucking detective. You're cracking shit. that's why I like driving. Now I can't drive that high, but that's why I like those cross-country drives,

because that's what I do. I'm just not high. But it's... God, I'm sorry. Oh, no, it's just, it's, there's something about doing anything where you literally can't be focused on something else. Like, even now, you can do that now in New York.

I don't know about smoking. You can take an edible, but you can't look at your phone because you'll walk into something. Listen, if I give you a 200 milligram C, B, ABX. I dare you to walk in the city. You'll get stabbed, Lee, because you walk around like a fucking dunce.

Anybody I give that shit to, I would not recommend them to go into the city. Well, you don't have to give them 200 milligrams. You can't have to give them 50. Not that much to use. You know what I'm saying? You can't walk the city streets of New York with 10 milligrams in you.

Little gayish, don't you think? A little too wokeish? I'm so sorry. Your day, I was last week, you know, I'm home. I'm home. It's raining. Mercy's got COVID. We're stuck. And last week, my week got turned around on Thursday night.

I ran upstairs, got in the shower. I was going to go meet Illinois, Atlantic City, but the sky was black. And it's 130 miles to Atlanta. No, it's an hour and a half to Atlantic City. So I didn't want to drive one and a half, one and a half back, and then Friday morning have to get back up and drive another one and a half. So I said, fuck it. I'm going to save my back. I'm going to go down to Uncle Vinny's. That drive that night was like a fucking, it's like a session. It was like a therapy session.

Because I was a little high. I stopped and I bought a vapor pen. It fucking broke her already. Two vapor pins. They both fucking broke. And I take the charger out. The guts come out with it. What the fuck?

Jesus. So I took my little vapor pen. I got super high on some rainbow. and I took my vapor pen and I went I drove to fucking Santa Monica oh Santa Monica Point Pleasant next year I know you know they're just playing great fucking music from one song to another you know I got it from 70s on seven seven on 70s to 90s to fucking lithium to Ozzy's bone yard to studio 54 and it just kept fucking they were throwing heat it got to the point where I got the point pleasant I didn't

want to get out of the car that's how good the music was I mean everything They were playing Allison Chains. They were playing fucking Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath. I listened to Jimmy on fucking Sirius and Ozzy's Bone Yard. That was enough for me. That ride was what I needed. And I've always told my wife I was built on the ride. All those stories I tell, those were on good nights when we went out and snorted Coke.

But there was a lot of bad nights to him. What are he doing those nights? Me, Mike comes to pick me up. I got rolling papers. We pick you up. Mike puts $2 in. I put $5 in and you put $3 in. We buy a $10 bag.

We roll a joint and then we eat split, a half a joint. And we go home. So you smoke a joint, we stop at the ice cream man or a bodega, get a fucking Carvel ice cream or a cup ice cream. We get in the car, we talk. So if Mike in those days would pick me up at 815, I'd be back in my house by 915, 9 o'clock. That was enough. for me. That little ride, smoking a joint and going to Carvel and coming home, I'm good.

I'm good. It's a breath of fresh air. We would do that in L.A. Sometimes you'd show up in my house. I'd sit in your car and we wouldn't even go anywhere. We'd talk for a minute. Give me an edible. I usually had some food for me too, and I'd go upstairs and leave. What else is that I say? There's nowhere to go. There's no one ago. You were saying something before that I want to talk about before you get out of I know you got to go back to work or whatever the fuck you're going What are we going to do with this amp fucking That's cool

With this amp fucking app It's a cool app It seems new It seems like they're starting it out But it's just I was talking about you at the About the openings of the church There's something that you have with music

That is special and it's It's just the amp seems like the new evolution sort of like what podcasting did for radio but now they allow you to play music so and you can you can take calls i think you can i think you can talk on it too um i played around with it a little bit but it when i saw i saw an article about it and it just seemed perfect for you i like it i've uh set up a show already one night and i got so high i forgot to do it i said a show up like three weeks ago Monday, but I didn't do it right because everybody needs to get the AMP app, right? Right.

Yeah. Yeah, you have to have the AMP app. I haven't opened it in a little bit, but the last time I opened it, like you have to like follow Joey and or whoever and then you'll get a notification. But yeah, it's all within the AMP app. You have access to a lot of different music. I was thinking I was looking at it. They have comedy. I was thinking about doing a show for comedy because you can play tracks on there.

it's just it's just another like and the and the best thing for you is you can do it from right there you could do it from in bed because i don't think there's any video i'm almost positive there's not is you'll just be there you'll have your little playlist you can i think you can speak like do like do in between songs yeah and it's uh you just get to show people the song and and like exactly what you're doing on that drive to point pleasant you could do for people and switch between songs and you don't have to do commercials. You don't have to worry about, about, you know, the boss said I can't play this one anymore

because I play this whenever. You could play the same song on a loop if you wanted to. You could do whatever you wanted. Now, the AMP app doesn't cost you anything. I don't believe so. No, when I did it, it didn't. When I did it, you had to sign up and they would email you a login code. I think you might have a special link now.

If I'm not mistaken, if not, I'm sure we can get you one that will maybe let you bypass it. But yeah, it's called AMP. It's like a yellow. Let me pull it up. It's like a yellowish logo. Yeah, yeah, it looks like this. It's a little A, a yellow and an A. It's cool, man.

It's, like I said, I think it's at the very beginning, but it seems like it has a lot of cool options. Dog, they got everything on there. Yeah. Like, I was really in shock. They had Nirvana. They got Allison Chains. They got Black Sabbath. They got Leonard Skinner.

They had, I just looked up like random people, like, the gambler. The guy that sang the song The Gambler, Kenny Rogers. They got him on there. They got Dolly Parton on there. They got Rund DMC on there. They got Biggie. I mean, they have, you know, I sat on there for like 45 minutes. minutes one night just trying to trump them to see because you know how led zepp and then go on iTunes

for a long time you know right there's a lot of bands that won't I figured you know they want to sign up for this right I mean I think I think this might be somehow linked to I think Amazon might own it or something I'm not exact because I'm not exactly sure who owns it um but yeah they have it's not just a couple of you know no name artists that you've never heard of it's it's people I did not even think to check the comedy genre. I did not even think to check the comedy genre. They have stuff. They have a lot of stuff.

It's just, it's cool. It feels like, it feels like the beginning of podcasting. It's just, it's new. It's like, it's like a movie around stick him.

And, and like the app was, it was like brand new. People were figuring out how to use it. What's stick them? It was the one we did the first like 100 episodes of the Chatsweather. no video of the church because one day stick him was like bye they're they just weren't there anymore and then we switched to you stream so it's uh it was just it's it's it just is cool it's it's

it's allowing people a different way to connect and and you i mean you know more than anyone how people feel about music and and i mean i've been on i've been with you on that ride a thousand times where you're switching between the stations and you love something, you turn it up. It's, I mean, people ask for your playlist all the time. You have a great playlist. And the thing with you is you get excited about it. You're not just sitting there like with your hand on your chest, like listening. You get excited. You start taking the nicotine gum and you for two bit and you throw out the window. I would love to figure out a way to be able to like set it up in your car and you can do what gas is eight bucks a gallon so maybe not but when gas goes down

we'll figure out a way to drive around and do it from the car because that would be bad ass what do you got planned when are you coming down whenever you i i was thinking about i want to come down maybe in july or even even this month whenever you i love coming down i want to i don't want to get a place and you're friends by the way or some cool fucking people when i came down the neighborhood people. Oh, they still talk about you. Oh, I'm sure they do. We went to Steve's house and we were high.

Oh. They both could tell him like, boy, he was high. And then you asked for the bagel and shit. Tell them, tell these motherfuckers what those Staten Island bagels look like. Oh, well, first of all, we, I was on, I don't know, 200-ish milligrams. And I think you just didn't want me to drive home because, like, we were sitting in your, in your basement and watching TV for a little bit. Like, we're going to someone's house.

Like, all right, I don't know where I'm going. we get there beautiful house there's so many people there there's food which I devoured a slice of pizza but then they had these brown I think their daughter was going or their children were going through a communion so they had

they bought the bagel store it looked like and it didn't come in a plastic bag bag they had like a two grocery store bags full of bagels they gave you I don't know if you asked for or they offered you one but I was so shy and high that I got too nervous to ask for one, but I must have just been staring at your bagel just, like, salivating.

Because, like, what do you want one? And I think I ate that bagel in three bites. It was, oh, a nice toasted bagel with cream. I don't even remember if it was toasted, but with cream cheese. That was, that was amazing. You know what I can't stop thinking about? The shrimp parmesan that we had at your daughter's party. Just the shrimp with the cheese on it, the way it was.

I've never, I love fried. We didn't even order that. Oh, they ordered. I can't stop thinking about it. My mistake. And they were huge. They gave us the wrong fucking thing.

They were like, like baseballs. And I, the fried shrimp is probably one of my favorite, favorite things in the world. And I, oh, that was the one thing.

I was like, oh, there's too many nice people here. We should have taken edibles for this. Because I would have eaten, you would have had any leftovers if I, if I had had, oh,

my God, everything was good. And then my mom, we got, thank you. You got pastrami for my mom on the way back. Oh, that pickled herring, they don't fuck around. Dog, they even make a fucking cheeseburger that you'll sit there and go, how do Jews make such a fucking good cheeseburger? They're tremendous over there. The pickles herring, you know, they don't fuck around.

I went in there, which, in fact, Rich Voss is coming on Thursday to go to the pickled fucking herring. Oh, yeah. Yeah, because that's, it's, and, you know, we were in Jersey. They got great Jewish food everywhere, but there's something about the pickled herring brother. They know how to do it right. That fucking crinkle-cut fries.

They got steak fries in that motherfucker. You know what? The food around here is okay. It's not bad. But, you know, there's nothing, that my happy place is great food on a comfortable seat watching TV. That's all I want.

Maybe I'm high a little bit. I don't really need much in life. That's why that's my happiness. And there's something about New Jersey that I would be 800 pounds. Like it's just everything's good. Everything is nearby. You don't have to drive an hour. Like we went to pick up the food for your,

and we went to eight places and it took us six minutes. It was, it's just, if you like to eat, New Jersey is the place to be. I know that should be either. There's commercials up here. I don't know what, I don't know, I don't want to say it, but whatever county you're in, they have commercials up here on the, on the six o'clock news, because apparently it's good for businesses. They should put commercials that say, if you're a fat fuck like Lee, who wants to eat, move to New Jersey, because I don't, and by the way, Mike, the donuts that he brought when Steve and I were there that are filled with some sort of Amish, it can be Amish come. I don't know what it is. Amish come.

It's so, God, those donuts are the best. If you haven't tried an Amish donut, turn off this podcast and go get an Amish donut. I got them. In Sarasota, I went to an Amish buffet, and I had about seven of them. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Oh. They got Amish and Sarasota? They have so many Amish people there. They have two Amish restaurants. They're Dutchmen and Yoters. That's how I know everything about, oh, and they have buffets, and it's like $8, and the women walk around with the little things on their head and they're very sweet

and they've never seen anyone like me eat the food because I might have lost weight but I still can eat. I can't eat no more. I can. I'll tell you. Really? You need to. I don't know. You've taken so many edibles. You don't even have munchies anymore.

I don't know what happened. Every once in a while I get tremendous munchies off those A-B-Xs. I mean, when you eat, I ate 1,600 milligrams the other day And I hadn't eaten them in like three or four days, five days. I don't know. I ate a bologna sandwich. Ooh, nice. Mustard and cheese?

Mustard and cheese. I ate two Italian ices the other night. I had, guys, I ate so many sunflower seeds that went out. I had splinters in my asshole because I ate them with the shell on. I ate first of one. I'm still good, guys. Guys, I'm still good. I'm hooked on cherries now.

So my wife gets me these great New Jersey cherries It comes in a bag And before I go to sleep I eat a fucking as many cherries as I can She's been getting me peaches lately I eat the fruit But the fucking A BX is the other night Destroyed me and I ate so much fruit

In fact if you go on my little refrigerator It's fruit I eat so much fruit And I'm like I still need something So I just saw a bag of those What those seeds that you use for baseball That you... Yeah sunflower seeds yeah

You spit up mountain shit dog I was so high I was eating the shell oh my god when I woke up the next day the shells were on my teeth and they were like gooey it felt like a cavity it was disgusting I had to brush my teeth eight times but the worst was when I went to shit and I opened up the vault and all of a sudden the first neck came out was like splinters it was like and then I tried to wipe my ass I'm like aye aye I because I had all those bits breaking in my ass forget it never again I'll do that shit dude those two hundreds are dangerous I I took it I took it I took it on a day where I hadn't really eaten much

and I got so high and ate so much I wasn't sick but I this has only happened a few times in my life I ate so much that there was literally just not enough room I got out of my girlfriend's bed walked into the bathroom just puked but like didn't make it I wasn't sick it just there was nothing left I came

out and I told her and she's like oh go make you toast I'll go get you a ginger oil there was a piece of cake of the Entemines loaf cake that yellow whatever that and I had and I in the five minutes she was gone. She came back and I was, I had just puked.

I had just puked. And I was finishing those, those ABXs will turn something on to me. But, I mean, I couldn't stop. I just, I won't stop. That's why I don't do them every night anymore. What do you mean?

You just took 1,600. 1600 is more people than most people taking a lifetime. I was before I went to Atlantic City. And I haven't, because I brought a big bag to AC. And I gave some away to some of the But I didn't take any. I couldn't take a chance on eating one and going up on stage.

There was no way. I couldn't even remember the material I had the 10 minutes. I forgot material Friday night. And I smoked a joint, you know, with Tommy. We smoked a rainbow ruts. And Saturday, I only smoked a half a blunt that Joe had before I went on stage. I was not going to be old school. I wanted to feel everything.

I wanted to make sure this is what I want to do. So, yeah, that's what we got to. when you're more comfortable and you're back in the swing of things, that's when I'll know is when you're taking 200 before you go on stage. Oh, my God. I can't. I'll never forget. Just all those nights,

you take and all that shit, you're like, I have nothing to say you go up there for an hour and people are falling out of their chairs with their, grabbing their faces because their cheeks hurt. And that's right. I need a little, I do need a little bit more marijuana in my life before I go on stage.

We'll leave it at that. I do need a little bit more marijuana before I go on stage. I just wanted to come. I didn't want to be the same old, same old Joey. I just wanted to try something different. But listen, you can't teach an old dog new tricks. So that's it, guys. I'm trying to teach air, bud.

You can do it. I got to go just get high and get on stage with three guys. Yeah. You know what? Just call me and I'll tell you all my new ideas. And I'll just piss you off. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. No, I can't go through that. I love you, you fuck. Love you too, buddy. Yeah, I'll get a weekend for you to come down. We'll get Mike's, I don't know, Mike's got a couple things going on. Okay.

Mike works on Saturday sometimes, so I'll make sure and I'll. And I can come down. I work remotely. I'll come down on, I'll drive Thursday night. I'll get off early on Fridays. I'll be there. You'll give me edibles and I'll be on Zoom meetings, just not making sense. Perfect.

How great would that be to just do a Zoom at them and look at somebody for a couple of couple of them just fucking fall over like boom and they're like hello hello so what do you want me to tell the podcast host tell them to edible you fuck that's i love you stay in touch we'll talk later of course buddy have a great thank you for being on today my friend anytime you want joey the the app app app tell these motherfuckers all right download the amp app um i'll look i i think i have an email with it from somewhere i think you do have a code if you don't will get you one, but just get the amp app and get ready for the Joey Diaz show. And what about the Leesayat comedy show?

Explosion and shit. That's right. Stay black cock suckers. And now for a word from my motherfucking sponsors, Jack. Hit it, Mike. Love you, buddy. All right, you bad motherfuckers. We want to try it differently this week, so we went right from fucking Zoom.

I put on a camera twice. Anyway, the joint is brought to you. this week by Factor. Listen, if you can't stand the heat, stay the hell out of the kitchen. I can't cook. That's why Factor works for a guy like me. I spend less time in the kitchen. It gives me more time to go outside and jump up and down the summer. Factors fresh. I mean fresh. Never frozen. Prepared meals are so delicious. You wouldn't believe they're actually good for you. These guys know what they're doing over at Factor, all right? With 30 meals a week to pick from, you'll never be bored. Each meal arise, prepared.

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Read the third party lab results. that there's something you want, just pressing code Joey and with their tip, top, Magoo. I love you. I want to thank Lee. I want to thank Mike. I want to thank all you, motherfuckers. I want to thank Draft Kings. I want to thank Factor.

And I also want to thank Liquid IV for having our back. It's been a great week, and we'll see you, motherfuckers. Next Monday, Tip-top, motherfucking McGoo.