The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #174 | JIM FLORENTINE | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: June 22, 2022

Welcome to UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT..... It's Wednesday, June 22nd.... Today we talk with the Great, JIM FLORENTINE! https://youtu.be/Yi4sBmvdPjI This podcast is ALWAYS presented by ONNIT! https://www.onnit.com This episode is also brought to you by CBD Lion & Stamps.com.…. Get a 4 week trial plus free postage and a digital scale by using promo code JOEY at https://Stamps.com Go to https://www.cbdlion.com Use Promo Code: JOEY For 20% OFF Your Order! Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #Manscaped #CBDLion #JimFlorentine The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... https://spoti.fi/unclejoeysjoint

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Click the microphone at the top of the page and enter code Joey and start saving money and doing great for your small or large business, whatever it may be. The joint is also brought to you by CBD Lion. Guys, in the world of CBD, the lion is fucking king,

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But don't take it from me. Go to CBD lion.com, read the third party lab results. When you see something you like, boom! Pressing code Joe with your joint and get 20% off your first order at CBD Lion. Let's get this party started. I got Jimmy Florentine in house today. What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? It's the, what the fuck is?

It's the 22nd of June. It's a beautiful Wednesday. guest today is fucking rock knowledge here, Mr. Jimmy Florentine, New Jersey's own. What's going on, Tazan? You know, I never knew when I was a kid reading the back of these albums that it would be useless. I always thought this information was useless, like who was the original bass player on this album? And then later on, it was, I actually needed that knowledge. It paid off.

Who would have thought? It's really crazy how I read all the line of notes and all the hotels. they stayed at like who the nerd you know because Van Halen especially always thanked the Sheridan's if you look at the back of a Van Halen it always says thanks to the Sheridan so whatever so in your mind you're like

fuck when they come to New York I'm gonna stalk the Sheridan's and that's exactly what happened they stayed on 52nd and 7th one year I was a bartender and I heard about all this shit they were doing so it's kind of weird when you read all those line notes like when I don't know what I was talking about the other day

somebody and I said, oh yeah, Phil Mug. I don't even know what I came from. That's the guy from UFO. Yeah, the singer from UFO. I don't even know what I came from. Now, what benefit by knowing the singer or UFO, how does that can apply to daily life? It doesn't.

It's like, you know, knowing the five members of ELO, whatever the fuck it is. But when you're a kid, you think that's special. You read all that stuff. And then one day you grow up and now this is what you do. Yeah, I never thought it would pay off. I mean, you know, look, if you were in a heavy metal when you were younger, there wasn't a lot of girls that were into it.

So if you wanted to get laid, they didn't care that Judas Priest just lost their drummer and they got a temporary one for the tour. They didn't give a fuck. You know, but that's all you wanted to talk. I remember going to a party. I'm like, you know, Metallica might break up. I'm like blabbering to these girls. Like, what do you talk?

Get away from me, you weirdo. That's all I could talk about. I didn't care about anything else. You know, so then you had a, so, so you stayed in your room. Friday and Saturday night and you listen to the record so you hung out with your guy friends. No girl is going to come over because, you know, screaming for vengeance just came out. You and your friends

are all going to listen to it in someone's basement. They got other things to do. Yeah, girls don't like that shit. Right. So you just know, like if you're in the metal, you're a loner, you're a weirdo, you're socially awkward, you know, because that's all you did. And then we grew mustaches. I don't know if you guys did this.

So we look older. So we're like 16, 17, we all grew mustache so we can get served beer. So we go to a liquor store and like, all right, we won't even ask for ID. He's got a mustache. So we had these bad mustaches and we're in a heavy metal, so we were not getting laid at all with zero interest from any girl. I used to put mascara on my mustache to make it look thicker.

That's a good idea. And then if you wanted a pool, the mascara ran like a fucking dodo. You know, yeah, yeah. Dog, you use everything you can. I'm one of those Cubans. Every Cuban is fucking hairy. I'm the only Cuban that it takes a fucking year and a half. to grow a mustache, so I would mascara it up on Friday nights to go out and get beer or whatever.

This is the shit you do as a youngster to get over, guys. And yeah, girls don't listen. I learned early on, like, 81, 80. I learned that you were not going to put on hellbent for leather and pick up no girl. And that's why I got into the B-52s. When the B-52 album came out, that gave all of us an out. There was a little heavy guitar, so we always... had him out. That quailude music, when you go down, down, down. With the quailud, you got down.

After you got down four or five times, with quailudes, the last time you weren't getting back up. You were just down. Right. Down. Like, what happened? Nothing. The quailudes got me so. It's so weird how that's, I still remember specifically, them and the cars. The cars, yeah. Chicks loved Candio. I love Candio. Honestly, I don't. I don't. I don't. want you guys to think I like Candio because it picked up chicks. I'm not one of... I like that out. It just came out. June of... I just saw it.

It was the anniversary. 79. Probably around 79. June of 79. The car saved my ass. You were not going to pick up a chick listen to Lenitz get it. Even if you put on fucking,

you know, the only song you had any hope of getting laid at a party was, Love Hurts by Nazareth. And if you put love hurts on it broke my fucking heart I had to leave anyway As soon as love hurts Love hurts is our generations

Every rose has its fucking thorn Both those songs I want to shoot myself when I fucking hear him I like the guy from poison But I've ever seen my mother beat him with a fucking rose Because that song is fucking horrid Then Bon Jovi came along I'm sorry with

Never Say Goodbye Yeah that ballad Chicks love all that shit You know, that was it. That was it. That's the only saviver you had. But if you put on screaming for the helmet, you were in no danger. If you put on the one before that, you know, golden an lows, all that shit.

Point of no return, whatever. Chicks didn't like all that shit. No, they definitely didn't. Yeah, B-52s was big and then one Bon Jovi. See, I grew my hair long. My friends were in bands, like, listen, shave that bad mustache off and grow your hair long. You look awful. So then I grew my hair long, I shaved the mustache off.

So whatever Bon Jovi did with his hair, I did with my hair. So I'm like, okay, he's got it this way. I got it this way. Then I had the scruff. Kipwing, I had the scruff. I did that. And then when Bon Jovi cut his hair in like 93, I'm like, well, then I got to cut my hair. Time to cut my hair.

So then I did it. And then, so it still worked for me once I grew that hair long. It was unbelievable. I didn't have to listen to the B-52s to pretend I like flock of seagles anymore. No, I didn't like fly. I saw flock the seagles. Like the go-goes. The go-goes got a little.

pussy but they didn't bust out the fucking 82, 83, right? The go-goes with my lips are sealed that does me no fucking good you know what I'm saying? Your lips are sealed later. You're a long island ice tea with your name on it. But it's fucking crazy how you had to

then I had to go to discos. I remember still going to discos and they weren't top on my priority but that's where the girls were. Yeah, well that's the thing you had to dance. I I went in the new wave for a couple of years. You know, when like the flock of seagulls, Thompson Twins, all that stuff hit MTV. I'm like, look, I got to get some pussy.

So I, before I grew my hair long, I went to do it. It was hanging out like new wave clubs, new wave night, Wednesday night, dancing with girls and trying that be 52s, all that stuff. But, you know, I got a little, but then once metal hit MTV and all those hair bands, I was like, that's the look I'm taking. And, you know, I started doing comedy at the time. and that's when like leave, Bob Levy was already headlining them Rich Voss. They were ready headliners. And I would just do shows and just because I had like long blonde hair, all these girls would come up and talk to me, especially in Pennsylvania.

It was great because they were like five years behind of what was really going on. So my looks fucking fit right in. So these guys would take me to like, you know, like, oh my God, the guys, you know, all of a sudden all those pussies around after the show. I'm going to bring this guy in a road. I wasn't ready. I had like three minutes. They'll just do 10.

I'll try. So they would just bring me just so I'd attract girls. but then sometimes I would get late and they were, and they were the headliners. You know, Voss and Levy were doing an hour and killing. I was doing like seven minutes up front. I remember Levy one time he goes to this girl, did you see his set and you still want to talk to him?

It was fun. It was my college years because I didn't go away to college. So, you know, it's when you get a lot of shit to your system. So I did it in, you know, late 80s, early 90s, and then I started to get my shit together around 93, 94. I caught my hair and like, I got to take this stuff serious. yesterday or the day before well let me tell you this story

like the father's day I went for Jackson and on the way down there on Ozzy's Boneyard invasion of your privacy came on you know uh... the main song from it Lay it down yeah

and that was my album in 85 and I'm like holy fuck Rat was already on their second album before Bon Jovi's first album like like rat hit before John Bon Jovi. Yeah. Because Bon Jovi hit with Runaway.

What year was that? That was like 82, but it was, or 82, 83, but it was a minor hit. It was a minor hit. And then he had the second album, 7,800 degree Fahrenheit that didn't do that well. She Don't Know Me, and there was one of the song, but that wasn't big either until New Jersey came out

and you give love a bad name. That was it. You know, and that album was what broke. I thought it was slippery one wet. I'm sorry, slippery one wet. That's it. Yeah, slippery and wet. She's not bad, but it ain't slippery one.

The third one was hit. The first two were just like, he's like, yeah, it was all right. But then that, you know, slippery when wet came out and that was it. And then Keith Ross here, they was talking about a club where Zach Wilde was the bus boy

and Bon Jovi met his wife there. And that's where Richie Sambora Cassanova's. It was probably on Route 35 in Sayerville. There was a place called Mingles. No, another one. Club 35. then it was Art Stock's playpen that I worked at.

It was the Birch Hill. I'm not sure which club it was, but it was definitely probably on that strip. This was what Keith Ross was when Richie Sambora came back and said, you've got to listen to our fucking album, and he listened to the first three songs, and he knew that something was going to happen with Bon Jovi. And he just said that this place was just legendary.

Like it was somewhere that was just fucking Bon Jovi met his wife there. She was the bartender. You know, just fucking Zach Wilde was a, bus boy yeah and Zach Zach grew up in Jackson and he is he married his you know high school sweetheart she was from Jackson too Zach grew up in Jackson New Jersey

yeah wow yeah yeah yeah it was called modern times back then there was a bunch of different names but I don't think that was the place either well you know how my brothers are ballbusters you know my brothers right so I was telling you about the Bon Jovi look so we're down in Long Beach Island at this place on vacation and I got the long hair

and we're at this bar on like a Monday night it's packed and I went to the bar and I go get drinks and they, some girl goes, is that Bon Jovi over there?

They thought, and then of course my brother's like, yeah, that's him. They're like, that's Bon Jovi's like, yeah, listen, he's here on vacation. Don't really bother him.

Just go up and say hi don't make a big deal. And they're like, oh, we could say hi go, yeah, go say hi to him but just be, you know, be nice. Don't cause a commotion.

Next thing of these girls are coming over hey, you Bon Jovi and I'm like, yeah, I'm just thinking they're going to bust me a second. The girl thought it was Bon Jovi. I started talking to her.

Then everybody else started talking. I had to leave the club because it was getting so crazy. Like, Bon Jovi's over there. He's over there. And I went to walk into a car. I want to make an out with her. It's like, I can't believe I'm making out with John Bon Jovi. I'm like, you know, what are you going to do?

Is that wrong that I did that? No. That's fun. But if my brothers did that. They go, that's Bon Jovi over there, of course. And I just said yes. And I'm thinking, I did it at the comic ship one time in New York City. I had the long blonde hair, curly blonde hair.

And one guy's like, are you the singer from Led Zepp? And I'm like, yeah, but just keep it quiet. Just keep it quiet. I'm just here to see some comedians. They're like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. And this was before cameras. Like, he didn't have his phone to take a picture.

I go, listen, yeah, just keep it quiet, man. I love stand-up comedy. I'm in New York. I didn't mean, why, I had the same jersey. I didn't have a British accent or anything. That's like the story when I sold the guy, a membership to the Mar. To what? To the mafia.

Right. I even gave him a membership. Yeah. He kept telling me I want to be in the mob. How do I do it? I go, that's easy. I'll make a call for you. You have to fill an application.

It's like $2,000 initiation. He gave it to me. That for months. He would say, did you hear anything from them now? I haven't heard anything. Right. He called the boss. Yeah, almost like it's good.

Now, it's good if you don't hear anything. Right. That means they like you, you're protected. I mean, this was 1995. he still calls me once a year and someone in the conversation he'll go hey man I never heard from those guys really and what do you say

I don't even yeah just like that but you know just the fact right he hasn't asked me for the two G's back right so I don't care once he asked me for the two G's back so I just hang up on him but until then I'll keep talking

to the 1995 it's over that seven year grace period went out the fucking one right yeah yeah the statute of limitations is over Yeah, the statute of limitations of stupidity, because that's as dumb as you can be. When he was counting the money out to me, I'm like, no, he's not. No, he's not. This has to stop somewhere.

Like, when is he going to go? You thought you had me? Ha, ha, I'm going to laugh. Right. Buy Grandma Coke? No. He gave me the 2000. And then we hung out for like two months, and he was like, man, I can't wait to be in the mafia.

I'm like, Jesus Christ, it's more bastard. One thing that I'm really learning about, and I feel kind of embarrassed about it. I came from northern New Jersey, and we had the soap factory. Yeah. We had a hole in your pants, whatever, hole in the wall. Hold on the wall, yeah. You know, whatever the fuck it was. You know, and then I used to go see sticky fingers someplace.

There was like three rock clubs up north. But the more I talk to you, the more I talk to your brothers, and fucking Keith Ross is great on Ozzy Boneyard. And he drops his knowledge. It's like I'm embarrassed. Where the fuck was I for part of this, New Jersey? Jersey musical history and this fucking Metallica

and Oldbridge. You know, like all this shit that you read about Dio's in Jersey, ain't he? No, he's from like Cortland, New York. Oh, like, Syracuse. Something like that. I heard something about Dio and South Jersey. And Jersey just has such a fucking

history of music. Like, I had no idea. Even I just got a book about crime in New Jersey and Chronicles like the 50s and 60s. That was huge. huge music. Like all those bands were on labels

out of Jersey, the black bands and shit. I had no fucking idea. Music was so big in New Jersey. Well, because when you were growing up, you stayed in your area. You stayed up in North Bergen of North Jersey. I was in Central Jersey. We stayed here.

So I never really, I don't think I ever went to the sole factory to see Twisted Sister or any of those bands. I didn't go to the hole in the wall. I had a bunch of clubs around here. You know, those cover bands would play the same clubs. So I would just stay here.

I would never drive up there. I'd go to the garden to take the train in to see a show. But so I think that's what you stayed in your area. We stayed at, you had enough stuff going on there. You didn't have to come back down here. Like somebody was telling me they went to that place where they play music on the water. That I went to see Rod Stewart in 84. I was telling you they only have it open in the summertime.

In the summertime, we offer the Mettelands, PNC, the Garden, and then Nassau Coliseum, I guess now the Brooklyn, where the Brooklyn... Yeah, there's another place. Jones Beach. Oh, Jones Beach out in Long Island. Long Island.

A buddy of mine went to see Jewel two weeks ago. Stu Feiner, and he said that fucking high tide came and that the fucking shoes and sneakers were all flooded. They had to put their feet up. Jules is up there playing the guitar with galoshes on and shit. People get electrocuted and shit. Like, I love that place. Like, I went to so many...

different venues. Yes, we went to the garden. I'm very proud of that. And I went to the Meadowlands to see the Jackson's. And I went to Philadelphia to see. But they had these little spots. Like, you know, seeing like Erosmith, that's the soap factory. You're saying like that group, that concept I told you about.

When I went to Passaic, like I went to see missing persons. At the Capitol Theater? Yeah. Like, yeah, that place was legendary. That place was good. You know, I went to see the Scorpions. and Rainbow there. Like when I was really young, I didn't know who to fire.

I just went, you know, I like that that fucking knucklehead, Richie Blackmore. And then he lost his mind. Have you seen him lately? Yeah, I mean, yeah, he's... Talk, he does not look good. If you go to a fucking rainbow concert, bring a trick-a-tree fucking thing,

like one of those pumpkins. When you see him, you think it's a fucking Halloween thing. It's not good. Yeah, he does some weird kind of music. I don't even remember what it's called. with his wife. And he got Rainbow back together, but with all, like, new players

that no one knew of, he did, like, eight shows over in Europe, and now he's back to doing his little thing. He has, like, the fucking mustache. Yeah. That he fucking tightens up. And, yeah, I don't know if he looks like a wizard. Yes.

Yes. He looks like fucking he grew up perfect to be what the fuck he wanted. I don't know what's going on. I know the place you're talking about, the fountain casino. That's what Keith Ross was talking about because that was a big place in average.

In Aberdeen. He talks about that a lot. That place held three. Twisted sister would draw 3,000 people on a Monday night there. It was free admission. And they would do like three sets, like three hour sets. On a Monday night, it was insane. So I was 15 years old.

I was using my brother's ID. He was 21. I was 15. I didn't have a picture on it. Back there, the Jersey didn't have the picture. It was great. One time I went to this liquor store to go get beer because I had, you know, and I put the ID on the counter.

And it's like, you're not Joe Florentine. That's my older brother. I go, yeah, I am. She goes, no, you're not. I go, I'm sure's you're not? She goes, I'm Mrs. Murphy. And that was like Joe's best friend's mother. And I'm like, should I put the beer back? I just left on a counter and walked out. I had no idea that it was his best friend's mom. But I would get in at 15, you know, because they didn't have a picture. So I didn't know.

I'm like, just show it. They didn't have to bounce. Like, wait a minute, you know, they had no clue. So I was seeing shows when I was a little kid. It was great. That's great. And then Jones Beach, you couldn't bring alcohol in there. You can only drink in the back, like this VIP area.

You can't bring it back to your seat because it's some state park. So we'd have to get, whenever I went to Jones Beach, you get those little plain bottles like Picardy. Stick them in your underwear. Make sure you wear tidy whiteys that day. Don't ever wear boxers. That's a rookie move. The tidy whiters, you put them under your balls. Stick like four bottles in there and you just get Coke's the whole day.

You have a Diet Coke, go in a bath, then pour it in. See, so if you get Mascope underw it, The new ones have a pouch. They could fit three fucking bottles. Oh, that's right. Yeah, I got the pouch ones too. The pouch and the underwear, cocksucker. See, Madscape is always ahead of the fucking game.

Sorry about that. No, because even now, you're paying like $15 for a mixed drink at a concert, so bring that stuff in. Don, I pay $20 for a frozen margarita. Philadelphia. Oh, yeah, Citizens Bank. I'm not complaining at all. It was well worth the $20 for the margarita, but wow. Yeah.

Wow. Where has our fucking society gone for a margarita? It was tasty. And it was 95 degrees that day. I didn't get buzz or anything. I went right there. I even gave my daughter a sip. And I keep asking,

you sure you didn't get drunk? She's like, no, nothing happened. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's just weird how I was telling your brother, Dan, I go, you know, Led Zeppelin played 45 years ago at, in 1977 at the garden. The anniversary was a couple days ago. And the tickets were 7.50 to 1250.

7.50 to 1250. And I'm looking at Paul McCartney the other day at the Metalands, aka MetLife Stadium. And he wanted $1,000 for those fucking tickets, for like decent tickets to see Paul McCartney and Bon Jovi sing, happy birthday. Like, I want to hear Happy Birthday again.

I don't ever. want to hear happy birthday at a fucking concert. No. And people singing happy birthday for fucking Paul. Yeah, he's 80 years old. He's 80 years old. Happy birthday, Paul, but I ain't saying, you know, I'm done. You know, that Bruce Springsteen showed.

Yeah. He played fucking, what's that song? Get back. No, glory days. His own song. Okay, he did that. I'm not paying a thousand bucks to hear. Glory days or fucking get back or whatever.

Hey, Jude. I don't want to hear that shit. I want to hear some fucking, you know. I don't know, some John Lennon music. I don't fuck it, though, do something. A thousand dollars. Yeah, I mean, those, you know, that's what they're selling. Now, you know, Ticketmaster just did a thing where they're not charging you an extra fee.

They're trying to compete with the other, you know, scalpers and all the other online places. So Ticketmaster, if you're going to buy a ticket like two hours before a show, you're not going to get that $60 convenience fee. And if you're buying four tickets, that's $240 extra dollars. So they waived that, which is great. so they're trying to bring the competition down. You know, like, so these other venues will do with Stubhub and Vivid Seats is a million of them. It's just crazy where the price of, you know, I think all the, like I told you, brother, I go, you know, I went to see Rod Stewart.

I went to see all these bands because I'm going to take this $20 and blow it on cocaine, or I might as well see Kenny Rogers. Let me just see what he's about. It doesn't matter. Let me see what Nazareth is about. Now, you can't do that. You know, I was telling you, like, I'm not paying. I saw Sammy Hagar 20 years ago.

I kind of liked them. People were spitting at them in Philly. I didn't know what to think. But it's like, I'm not paying $600 for those tickets. I love the art of live concerts. You know, I love all that shit. It's just such a rush. But the $600 paycheck just kills me.

I went online the other day to look at rages against the machine tickets. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Five nights at the garden. Five nights. It's like single tickets for like 350 bucks all over the place. But yeah.

So, you know, it's a matter of that you're going to pay. You bring two. I saw Billy Joel at the garden, you know, a couple months ago. And, you know, two tickets was like $710 for the two with taxes and everything else. I got them late. But I was like, all right, whatever. I mean, I want to see them once. But it was like $710 for the two.

That's, how to get him on, you know. $710.10. That's two car payments. Yeah, it was like $360, $355 a ticket. That's two fucking car payments, you know, and you go, yeah, I like these bands. Like, I told you, I'm going to see two bands. I want to see Jelly Row because he'll leave tickets for me, and I can really get into that, and I'm going to see Allison Chains. I finally want to go see Allison Chains at PNC over here.

I like to go to Camden, too. I don't know. But those days just, I kind of like. Fleet would Mac. Let's go see, I don't know, if the chick was on tour or something, but what would stop me is as soon as I went for that ticket, that $400 ticket, how was an 18-year-old going to go to a concert? Again, I moved here so my daughter could kind of have the same childhood I had growing up, but you can't even, you know, you can't even fatten. These kids are going to have to rob a bank to go see fucking about. They're going to have to rob a bank.

Yeah. Between the 14, how much is the bus to the city now? 30 bucks. Yes, $30 round trip. 15 each way. Yeah. And that's not bad because if you drive, you're dropping 40 with the price of gas. And the tolls, 16 at the toll at the Lincoln Tunnel, then also the turnpike tolls. It's gotten fucking crazy.

Yeah, well, the ticket price will go down. As soon as the demand, you know, when people aren't paying 400 bucks, they'll lower to 300, the lower to 200. So all that stuff's going to go down as the economy tightens up. So, you know, all of a sudden, these bands think they're going to get $450 for a ticket, you know, and then the people reselling them on those secondary markets. All that money is going to go way down soon. You know, we went to the Giant game, and that game was brilliant in more ways than one. Just going to Phillies against the Giants.

And I tell you what was the most brilliant part of the day. I didn't feel gouged over the $70 ticket. I didn't feel gouged, you know. the waters were five, you know, again, that's not bad. There's seven, there's $10 waters, you know. The food was good, it was cheap, sausage sandwiches. I kind of, am I a Philly fan of the team? I don't know anything about them.

But the fucking feeling I had, and I didn't feel out, you know, I know if I go to a Yankee game, it's going to cost me double that probably. It's going to cost you 50 to 75. just to park close and you want to park close it's in a bad neighborhood so if you want to get real close it's going to be 75 if you want to get kind of close it's just 50 yeah steak sandwiched at 30 at the fucking yankee stadium they're delicious i heard their fucking five stars like you know they got you you're there you know but yeah again when i was a kid i just fucking wake up today and go dog you know the metro really let me call my brother

and see if he can drive us and not. We'll just go to Perth Dan Boy. That's where you go. You go to Perth and switch that fucking, because my friend went to the other day. Go to Perth, damn boy, switch it. Whatever, but in the city, and it takes you right to the fucking Mets game.

All right, the city field, yeah. The city field, but it's like, again, for me, I knew for five hours I'd get into a Mek game or a Yankee game. You could stub your way in. On a Tuesday, who's at a fucking MEC game? On a third, you know, the MEC games get packed like anything else. on the weekends.

People want to take their kids and shit. You go to a Mick game on a Tuesday. You go to a Nick game on a Tuesday. You're a shit and fucking... Worn Nick game on a Tuesday. That was my favorite. Those Nick tickets for 15 bucks, bro. Try to get a Nick ticket for $15.

You've got to blow the whole fucking team for $15. Well, see, and what we used to do is we always get tickets out front. So you always look for someone at the last minute someone couldn't come, right? They were coming with five. All of a sudden, two people said we can't come. We have an emergency. So you look for that. that guy that's not a scalper.

You know what I mean? Like just walking and you wait and you, I got tickets. How much? I just want to get rid of them. Can you give me, you know, $50 more each or? No,

but you're not going to sell them up there. I go, you might get arrested if you go up there because there's cops all over. You can't be scalping tickets. All right, just give me, just give me to face value. Beautiful.

So you always look for those guys. You don't look for the professional guys. And then as, as it goes on, you go to the first inning, second inning, they're basically giving them away. If you want to hang that long,

the problem is if you have someone, with you that's panicking, things are not going to get in, then you got to get them in advance. Yeah, I'm too old to panic. Like, I want to know I'm going. Like, I did that a hundred times. Like, let's just go see what happens. Right.

Let's just go see what happens. And all of a sudden you're watching ACDC and death leopard. You know, let's just go see. But that's what you do when you're 15. Yeah, you don't care. You're like, all right, we'll just go drinking a bar then. Yeah, like if you know, we'll go to beefsteak charlies across from the garden. I don't want to go to and argue with people.

Like that. went to Philly one time. And we went with like 12 row. And before we got in, my buddy was talking to something. All of a sudden he came back with six-row center for Black Sabbaths with deal. And I'm like, how the fuck did you do?

You know, like you had that, we had tickets. What possessed you to negotiate with somebody for six rows better? But there's guys that are really good at that. I used to break their balls too, but I don't want to be out there arguing with nobody now. I just want to walk and then enjoy the fucking game and whatnot.

but they kill you at these games. I always think about the American family. I, like my friend said he paid $1,000 to go from LaGuardia to Oklahoma City. $1,000 to go to Oklahoma. Jesus Christ! No, yeah, I mean, the, I was like, it's like nine. I was, I'm booking flights for the fall right now, which I never did. And they're like, you know, to go to Dallas is like $780 from Newark.

But if you fly at six in the morning, it's like five, five, ten. Like that's your options now. They just completely, like the airline's trying to make as much money as possible before they have to bring down the prices when people stop flying. They're already down like 3% traveling like in the last month. So people are feeling it. They're not paying, frigging, you know, $900 a ticket. I'm trying to go to Knoxville.

I'm going to pay $909 for not even a round trip with a layover. So I just booked that a Legion. air they do flights it's like it's $79 each way to Knoxville direct flight 160 why is United charging $909 and a Legion is charged of 160 because a Legion's fucking engine is kind of loose well yeah and the landing gear is all fucked up so it's like you're paying 79 what time I'm gonna get there well I got I got I got both flights booked so I got one in United I used my miles and then I got the Allegiant Air once. So if the Allegiant Air, because there's only one flight out that day.

They only fly to Knoxville on Tuesdays and Fridays. They don't, so if there's one flight out, so if that flight doesn't go, you're fucked. So I stopped my United flight. I'm like, all right, well, just figure it out that day. I'll cancel the other one. Where the fuck is the lion? Where does it fly? I don't know.

They fly in Newark. They got some flights out of Newark. And where do they go? Well, one's going to Knoxville. We're looking at Knoxville. So I'm taking it. Yeah, it's like 70. It's 160 bucks.

round trip compared to $908 with United. And I got a connecting flight in Chicago. I got to connect that of Chicago, too. I don't know about a lion for $79.

You might get the right brothers. I figure I drove with so many drunk drivers over the year and I lived so far. So, you know, I'm figuring I'm going to make it with a Legionaire.

At least the guy's going to be sober. You get to the fucking airport. You see the guy spinning the fucking thing in front. We'll get this playing no time. You see them duct tape in the wing and shit like major league.

You're like, no, this is not going to fucking work. I'm always weary of those things. I'm always weary of flying. But when I see a cheap flight, I'm like, what the fuck are they doing? Are we even going to get there? Well, yeah, like, I rarely. I'd usually just fly United, like, Spirit. I'm like, you know, I can't get on one of those planes.

Oh, it just bothers me. I think Spirit, I flew them years ago, and they had serious. One of those flights were like a shitty airline. But they had serious X-M. Right. And I'll never forget I got on there stone to the gills. And I was listening to like disco something. And it was so fucking good.

Distortis was like, we're going to land. It was on those Atlanta flights. Okay. They have a special thing that flies to Atlanta. Not no more. This had to be 20 years ago. But I'm always weary of spirit. But the way that fucking American Delta and all these other airlines have been,

Southwest has been killing motherfuckers lately killing people These motherfuckers advertise the summer sale I saw it Now let me tell you something about Southwest I enjoyed them If you're gonna fly two hours and less

Vegas LAX You know Kennedy fucking Buffalo Whatever Newark Buffalo It's an hour to Southwest If somebody's allergic to peanuts You don't get peanuts for an hour You're not gonna fucking die

You know what I'm saying? And so it's Southwest put an ad out for $49. And then three days later, they canceled 2,000 fucking summer routes. So after they took everybody's fucking money, you know, this shit concerns the fuck out of me. As you know, I got to take a plane Thursday to South Carolina to meet Bert and those guys. Yeah. And I swear to God, if I get to fucking Newark and they start that shit of a seven-hour delay, I'm not going. I'm not going.

I'll get in my car and meet them in Bristol, Tennessee. I might as well do that. I'm petrified about flying out of Dallas Monday. But after a fortnight where you lay your fucking soul on the stage, I'm going to get to the fucking airport Monday morning. You're going to go, your flight's delayed until two in the afternoon. And let me tell you something. I don't like Dallas that much.

That's what Kennedy got shot. I'm not a big fucking fan of Dallas. Nah, they always got a strike with me. As soon as I land in Dallas, I can smell the gunpice. I still smell the fucking gum powder by the trees and shit, whatever the fuck. Yeah, the grassy, no. I don't, you know.

And Dallas is an airport that if you're not in shape, you're going to die. If you, oh. Yeah, Chicago, Detroit, Atlanta. Atlanta, Detroit. Fuck. Atlanta's a motherfucker. Detroit, they make you walk under the fucking airport with the lights and shit.

Yeah, I know. Like seven in the morning. You think you're in the fucking twilight zone. I'm going to see Sebastian Cabot from fucking whatever. No, all those airports. So Dallas, the only good thing about Dallas is you're eating good all day. They got the barbecue. They got the steakhouse in Dallas.

You get a little massage. I think you take a shower in Dallas. And probably the hottest chicks in the country. In Dallas. Dallas and, well, Houston, too. I like, you know what? As a kid, when you're young, you go, like, yeah, there's a lot of hot chicks on there. I got to tell you something.

There's a lot of hot chicks. everywhere. There's a lot of hot. I went to the Osteria last Tuesday. I was blown the fuck away. I'm a married dude. I'm old. I'm not going to head on somebody young.

You just scar them when you show them that fucking... I was looking at my dick the other day before I wanted to shower. It looks like an hard bark now. Really? It looks like an art bark. The way the head, the turtleneck, the uncircumcised skin rolls in.

I wouldn't show that to anybody. I didn't know you were uncircumcised. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, so it's definitely going to. So it won't come, it's almost like it won't come out of its shell. No. You're like a shy turtle. Yeah.

You're dick. It's kind of weird. You got to pull the skin back. I used to hide shit in there, grams of blow and stuff in the skin. Fucking tremendous. Fool cleaning. But it's fucking crazy how I went to the Osteriaia and I went to George. And I go, George, you got to start coming down here.

Look at all these beautiful women over 40. Where'd we go? I went somewhere last. week. I'm like, there's great looking women everywhere now. There's always going to be great looking women. There's going to be bad looking women. But there's great looking fucking women down here in Jersey. I know. I just remember going to Dallas or first time, you know, 15, 20 years ago. And then all of a sudden, there was hot women and they were nice to you. You know, New Jersey, they're nice to you. You know what I mean? Like, he can barely get a hello. Hi, how are you? Just like, I'm married. I'm like, I said hello.

But there, they were nice. And they almost, you almost take it the wrong way. like this chick's into me like no that's just the way they are so i just couldn't believe they were hot and nice me too houston was the one place that always shocked me the south has always shocked me how women will talk to you and you know when you're young you're like fucking why is she talking to me do i have a chance then you figure it out you don't have a chance with everybody people are just fucking nice sometimes how many times did you try to hit on a woman like and you got the wrong idea and she wasn't interested like you go to kiss her and she's like, no, no, no, I'm just,

you ever get that where she just turns her head? And you feel like a piece of shit afterwards? You're like, ah. It's been 30 years, 25 years when you got. My first girlfriend, like seventh grade, she broke up me because she said, I had not a kiss. So I said, listen, man, don't say anything to anybody. Let's just say we broke up, whatever.

She goes, yeah, I'm not going to say anything. Don't worry about it. The next day, she told the whole school. It's really funny. You know, and this guy, he doesn't have a kiss. I fucking got, she got, pounded by that she wanted she didn't

you know how to swap spit I didn't know then well just as simple I had no idea you're seventh grade I was I didn't even jerk off yet so I had no clue I didn't know how to kiss

I didn't want a swap I didn't want my tongue in some weird girl's tongue and she was like the hottest chick in the town I couldn't believe it she was a year older than me I'm like man it's unbelievable and she you know

after like a month I'm done with this guy I think I said let's go meet at the swings you know that was probably a bad move i'll meet you by the swing but of swings you know i don't when i was like in the first grade in new york city there was a girl debby domingas they used to show me a tits for a quarter in the first grade it's a good deal she used to get a 45 single right pull up her shirt and get the single and put the whole right and put the nipple in the first grade i still think about this like where is this crazy bitch she used to show it to me under the monkey bars and she had like three brothers that were guerrillas the domingas brothers and i'm

I were like, why are you showing me a ditch? Just give me a quarter. I used to call her every day. She wanted those little things of orange juice and a hot dog. Caught a fucking, 1968. That's great, yeah. You know, again, back to listening to, like, music that's, like, old. That same song, lay it down.

I'm driving with my wife, my daughter's in the back. I'm looking out the window, and I'm just listening to the lyrics. And before they break into a solo, they go, like, you know, Give me a chance to prove myself in the sack or whatever the fuck the guy says. And I'm thinking about, like, that album came out when basically I was 21 years old. And you're fucking very, you don't know where you land. You don't know how to act, you know. And I'll never forget being at a bar in Carbondale, Colorado.

I'm 21 years old, and I'm talking to two guys that I lived with one guy and the other guy's name was Big Ed. He was like a fucking six-foot-five guy that got his dick sucked every day. Like, yeah, like a two-foot dick. He was like a beginning porno guy. Right. He didn't know how to get into porno.

I'm dead serious with you. And I was there with him and he's like, Joey, talk to this girl. She wants to talk to him. We were talking and she's like, I sell like whatever. I have a van. I don't know what she sold. And I still remember to this day, like looking at it and going,

hey, why don't we go to the van? I'll show you what I'm about or something. And she was like, ill. And she just went away from me and I'm like, where did that come from? Like, what am I going to do in a vacuum van? Right. Like, I was that naive and that fooling. Like, till this day, I think about that.

Like, I said something to her in a very wrong sexual, you know, but it was 1983. What the fuck? Nobody cared. At that time, you could grab a woman by the hair and stick your dick in there. Nobody said nothing to you. These people were savages in the 80s. There were savages in the 80s.

Oh, yeah. If Louis C.K. was whacking off. from front of you in 2020. Think of what we were doing in the fucking 80s. So you didn't know. I was just a kid and I didn't sexually harassed or nothing like that. I just, she was like talking to me and she was cute and she was a little older.

And I was like, hey, why don't we just go in a van or something? Why don't we go? And she just looked at me like I was Ted Bundy. She's like, that's not going to happen. And then said something to Big Ed. Big Ed's like, hey, man, I don't know, she left mad or I don't know what. She has a boyfriend or whatever, but it was just,

but then you do that and then maybe five years later I'm at my house and I want to snort some coke and bold and I go to a party and it's like you know the party's ending I get catch some dealers and there was a girl downstairs

shooting pool and we shot like two rounds of pool and she goes do you want to play for money and I go my money's gone to cocaine and she goes why don't we just do this if I win you suck my pussy or something and if you win you I don't know what the fuck was going on.

And I remember that I beat him and that we fooled around and then she got dressed and goes I got to go home. My husband's waiting on me. The kids got to go to school. I'll never forget that. I don't know what her name was. There's a mom in a year. I don't know what her name

was. I don't know. You know, when you think of all those things, you're like what the fuck happened? And how fast did this light move? No, I know. My first girlfriend, broke up me because they used saran wrap instead of a condom on her.

That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. It was like the third time I ever had sex. I was a virgin with this girl, but whatever. It was like my third time. And I didn't have a condom. We were fooling around in her parents' house.

It was like two in the morning. They were sleeping. And she's like, I didn't think we're going to have sex. I didn't have one on me. She's like, you don't have a condom. Like, hold on. I ran up in her kitchen naked looking for a condom in a kitchen like her parents are going to have.

one in one of the drawers, you know? And I was looking around out of my mind. I had a hard on, fucking testosterone, just turned 18. And then I found a saran wrap. I just ripped it off. And I was just, and I went down.

It was dark, so she didn't know. I'm trying to work it in. Obviously, you know, it needs some lubrication. And then she turned a light on. She's like, what is that?

I'm like, saran wrap. She's like, you fucking assholes. We started to argue and the parents woke up. Lights went on. And then like two days later, she broke up.

me she was so disgusted I used to sit outside of her house and wait for her to come home begging to take me back again a condom made out of a saran wrap that's American ingenuity I had to hold it at the same time smart people shit yeah I gotta figure

out something I'm like I need something you're the king of improvisation because it would have worked if it would have went in it would have worked yeah I just have to hold it at the base I'll tell you how I know it would have worked all those you know we had a bunch of I think on the church,

we had a bunch of discussions about the massage parlors in North Hollywood. And I always knew somebody like the one guy went on Rogan, the guy that painted Facebook headquarters. Oh, and Chow? He went on there and said he went to a massage parlor. The chick had to be 40.

She ate his asshole. No, she was older than 40. She was like 55. They still have the address? I don't know. I don't know. He said he went in there. And he goes,

when is a young girl available? And the girl was like, no, young girl, today it's me. And he goes, how bad could it be? She picked up my dick and started eating my ass for openers. You know, for openers. When somebody opens with an eating ass, they're a savage. They just bypassed the whole situation. So I heard different stories,

and there was a guy that used to go to Jiu-Jitsu with me that used to basically go to Jiu-Tit-T, change, and then walk right over to the massage park, like maybe seven doors down. And he told me that in there because if they get raided, they can't have the condoms on premises. It's already prostitution.

But they have tons of fucking saran wrap and boxes of rubber bands. And that's what they would do. That's what they would do. They would put saran wrap on your dick, a rubber band and the Chinese chick or Japanese or Korean or whatever, Vietnamese or Thai.

I don't want to insult nobody. They would suck your dick with the saram wrap on. And then the rubber rubber. bands on the bottom they just pull it out and throw it away i had a couple guys tell me that they went to all those north hollywood they were disgusting those things i don't know how people do it i don't want to massage that bad i walked into like one or two of them that were kind of weird like you're like and then my buddy turned me on to a good massage place that you could just you know you could

do whatever you wanted to me it was guys it was guys and one Asian chick rubbing you down but the rest of those places. I got caught in one of those things one time in Michigan. I just, you know, I was green. I was a feature act. It was like maybe my first weekend as a feature act and my shoulder was stuck. I'm driving. You know, I had to drive 22 hours.

My shoulder got stuck and I walked into one of those places in Michigan. And the chick at the door was Lucy Lou Jack. And I didn't know what was going on. She's like, come in the back, take off all your clothes. I go, why don't have to take off my clothes? is my shoulder. She'll take up all your clothes. I go, okay, I took off my clothes.

Dog, she sent the C team in that motherfucker. She greeted you, but then she sent. Oh, yeah, yeah. They always put the good-looking one out front. They send a scrubs in. And I just picked up $250 from doing five shows in Michigan. That's what you get, you know?

And I'm driving back, and I'm trying to make ends meet, and she's rubbing my shoulder, and I'm sitting there, like, what the fuck is next? And she stopped, and she goes, for $40, I give you a hand job and I'm like, you have no fucking $40. Maybe, maybe a dollar or two. For $40, I can do it myself.

Plus, I'm broke. I got to eat those subway sandwiches, those veggie and chew. Oh, yeah. I ran the fuck out of that when that late. I don't want anybody fucking whacking me off. I'm too old. After you 21, I don't want a fucking handjob from anybody.

The first time my friend went in one, I was like, how was it? Because I was like, I don't know if I want to go in there. He goes, he goes, I was done in. seven Mississippi. You know how do you say when you play for one Mississippi, two Mississippi, he goes, I counted a seven Mississippi and I came.

I'm like, it doesn't seem like it's worth it then. He paid four. You know how bad I would feel if I paid a woman for sex and I came like in two minutes? Like I usually do, which no, nothing's going to change. Whether you're Wonder Woman or... You still can't control that after all these years?

The chubby chick for you. You can breathe. You can breathe and clean. close your eyes and shit. It's very hit and miss, but usually I'm a minute, minute, a half. If I really focus and think, I can't do it in the morning no more,

I get all rushed up in anxiety. Really? But if I really focus and take my time, I'm okay. I could do, you know. What about when you used to do Coke back in the day because usually you could fuck for hours on Coke? I never did Coke, so I don't know.

Well, the first load came fast. That came fast. That came on the tits. Right. And then you do a little bit more Coke and fucking, Right, and you're up all night, so it's not like there's any pressure to get. But then your dick dies.

Then, like, I was in situations were horrible. One night I was doing, I was going to have a threesome. Never had a threesome in my life. I'm in Miami. It's a chubby chick and a good-looking chick, and they're like, come back. The chubby chick takes off a clothes. I'm all coked up. I'm watching fucking one of those late-night talk shows.

It's a Tuesday night. They're swap and spit. They're eating their pussy. And they're, like, join in. Guess what? I got dead dick. my dick is a turtle. My dick already went into the skin.

The only thing that's out there is the wing sock. Don't you just see me sitting here? I mean, if I was involved, if I could be involved, they kept coming over. Don't you want to join in? No. And then after the night and we passed out, I went to pee at like 8 in the morning,

also I had like a two-foot dick. And I'm trying to wake up the two girls. Let's do it. Go away, go away. It's too late. We're tired. We've got to go to the dentist of the left. You got to capitalize in that moment when it's happening.

I don't know. I've never been good at that shit. I know people who brag, they go for two hours, and they went all night, they didn't sleep. I think that happened to me one time when I was 19. Right. She was 27, so I wasn't navigating the ship. It was her ship.

She knew what she was doing. I didn't. Yeah, yeah. And she kept me up all night. That's when she put the sponge in the pussy. Remember in the 80s, it was 83, so this chick had her. it wasn't a diaphragm.

Oh yeah, it was that. Yeah, yeah, I remember that thing, yeah. A little sponge. And when they flew out, it just fucking... Did you ever hit the sponge? I'm not sure. You know, I was too young and retarded. I was retarded.

You needed someone, like you had a 27-year-old. When I was like 20, I had a 38-year-old. She would rock our world. She went through all of our friends, all my friends. Did she? Yeah. Set separate times or whatever like that. I'm like, this woman taught us.

I never saw a woman. on all fours before in my life. I'm like, this is fucking awesome. She's walking around naked. I'm like, holy shit, this is crazy. This girl was... But she taught me to ropes. I'm sure that 27-year-old did, too.

She filled in some holes. Okay. There was a couple holes in my game. It was amazing because I was 19. She was 29. And she had a sister Tia. They were from Milwaukee. And there were my neighbors in Aspen.

When I first moved to... Whatever the fuck. Basalt. Holland Hills. And she used to cut my hair. And one day I'm sitting in, she's cut my hair. We were friends already. And one thing led to another.

And she goes, just, what's going on with you? Do you have a girlfriend? I go, not yet. I got a crush on you. And I put my hand up his skirt. And she took my hand out. She didn't say nothing. She goes, you want it that way.

She goes, I'll tell you what. I kind of like you too. She goes, but I can't fuck you while you're my neighbor. She goes, you're moving out in 11 days. Then we can have an affair. I swear to God. I moved out July 1st of 83. She was at my house July 7th

with Bree cheese and apples and a blanket. And I'm like, what the fuck is Bree cheese? Right. And wine. Yeah, yeah. And I'm a fucking animal from Jersey. I just wanted to hit her in the head with a glass wine. And fuck her, I need a pussy. That's it. And we're on the grass in the middle of Snowmass Village. Like a real fucking...

A real picnic. Like, I have never been a picnic in my fucking lake. And all I want to do is fuck. And she wants to eat free cheese and rub it on an apple and drink wine. Ask me about the fruitiness of the wine. And I just, listen, I got to fuck you. Like, I can't take this. And she's like, okay, we went back to the house.

We just did in the shower. She had the scariest pussy I ever saw. So this is how when you're 18, you do creepy things, but you don't remember them until when you move back to Jersey. So she rocked my world so hard. that afternoon, guys. Like, she came over, like, at one, and she left, like, at four,

and it was like, like, I was blown the fuck away. It was, like, seeing somebody for, like, Sabbath for the first time. My mouth was wide to fuck open. And I took a shower, and I got my head together, and I smoked some pot, and I was like, damn it,

I'm going to get more that pussy. Guys, I walked from Snowmass Village because I just had so much energy. I wanted a fucker so bad. a hitchhike down to snowmass he was going to Aspen I was going to Beasoth I walked to fucking besought I think somebody picked me up towards

the end she got off of she worked at the grog shop at Aspen a wine store and she got off for work at like nine it took like maybe 30 minutes I'll never forget I was sitting in the weeds on a chair when she pulled up to the grog shop and I'm like I gotta hit this again because I didn't give you my best show

like you fucking wore me out And that was the night. I stayed up with her all night. Then I started dating. We dated until about, then she wanted me to go to a Rocky Harrow picture show. Yeah. That's where you lost me.

Yeah, like I already went out of your ass. I already wanted a picnic with you. I went on a couple picnics with her. You did? She was a white chick. That's what they liked to do. Yeah, I know. They liked that corned.

They liked to do and rub your feet and all that. She was very much. Make a sandwich and sit there. No, three cheese and apples and wine. That was it. That was it. Okay. Yeah, we didn't, you didn't drink wine then.

No. I didn't even know what the fuck wine was. I drank a bottle of wine, North Bergen. I robbed from Albertsons. A half gallon of Julio Gallo shit. Oh, yeah, that stuff, yeah. I had a headache for four fucking days. Oh, yeah, it's the worst.

But you always had to have it just in case you had girls over. Keep the wine. Just have wine. Because no chick wants to drink blood cans. You know, that's all we drank was Budweiser in a can. If you're doing Coke, they'll drink whatever the fuck. Right, whatever you have. But it's always good to have that wine.

Drink it what I give you? I got fucking McGregor whiskey. It tastes like ass. But it don't matter. The worst was if you were metalhead and you got a girl back, you know, you wanted to put on some music in the background. But, you know, you have all heavy metal shit. So it's, you know, they want, I would put, I'm like, well, let me,

I remember putting Ozzy on, like goodbye to romance. That was a slow song. That's a good jam. Yeah, I know, but it's just like, I didn't have anything. No, they don't want it. So that one bought that Chart A album. Yeah. That first Chart A album was a fucking, that was a closer.

Fire. Fire. Fire. Like a Madonna. I forget I bought Madonna one. The first Madonna. Maybe, yeah. just have those two in the collection.

My friends would make fun of me. Like, you got Charday? What are you gay? I'm like, no, I go, I need this. I got fucking Iron Maiden doesn't have any ballads. I can't put fucking the trooper on. When this chick trying to get her in the moots, I throw that on.

So I always had those two. That Charday album was fucking phenomenal. It was like Mariana Rivera. Oh, the first two Chardotet albums, a fucking classic. Classic. You have the first one? I probably still, probably still.

Yeah. We got to borrow for the album of the week. That's a good one. That's a great fucking album. that that i like sharday i even like i just got her greatest hits i downloaded on something the greatest hits isn't bad just something different to listen to in the gym yeah yeah yeah shit like that you can't lose the sabb it every fuck i don't know if i can work out to sharday to know nah but when you go on a plane yeah yeah something yeah you want to be mel yeah i'll throw some goofy

shit on every once in a while you got any dates coming up tars that um yeah when the july second potta wada patta wada casino in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I'm there and then July 7th through night, side splitters in Tampa. And then the improv in Tampa on Sunday, July 10th. Where are you at? Were you in Albany Wednesday night?

What Thursday? Yeah, that will be tonight. Yeah. That's fucking great, man. Yeah, so I'm doing that. And then my podcast, everybody is awful every Monday. I do Patreon, do three extra podcasts a week on my Patreon. So everybody's awful out every Monday.

And join the Patreon. Well, you got to see the fucking neighbors. We didn't have to Zoom this time. Yeah, I know. It was great. I'm like, I could do this podcast. It's right around the corner. Right around the fucking corner.

It was at 11 o'clock. I left at 10.58. That's beautiful. Fucking perfect. But I'm excited about the bird tour. I'll see you motherfuckers in Bristol. I don't know. South Carolina, Mississippi.

I'm excited. I saw the videos. He's doing a great job. The bird's great, man. He knows. She's doing a great job. So hopefully I'll see you motherfuckers out there. And that's it.

I want to thank Jimmy for coming on. I want to thank you motherfuckers for supporting us. And now for a word for my motherfucking sponsors, Jack. All right, you bad motherfuckers. I want to thank Jimmy. Plus, I want to thank you guys. I'm excited about going on the road. So we won't be having a podcast on Monday.

We'll be back next Wednesday, cock suckers. But listen, in the meanwhile, the joint is brought to you by stamps.com. I love Stamps.com regardless or whether you've got a business with 100 employees or a business with three employees, why take time out of your day to go to a post office when you can just do everything from your office or home or wherever you send packages from.

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and making my life a lot fucking easy. I love you, cocksuckers. I'll either see you Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday on the birth tour. If not, I'll be back next Wednesday. Stay black. Uncle Joey loves you. And I'll see you then.