The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #175 | The BEST of THE JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: June 27, 2022

Welcome to UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT..... It's Monday, June 27th.... While Uncle Joey is away on Bert Kreischer's FULLY LOADED Tour, please enjoy some of our favorite moments from Uncle Joey's Joint! Clips Taken from: Episode 141 - LEE SYATT - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3tp-NaSWao&t=3040s Episode 86 - GEORGE PEREZ - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qC91KH4f9E&t=759s Episode 109 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_rBXYOLbJI&t=663s Episode 160 - JON BERNTHAL - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZE5oBB8sI6o&t=561s Episode 74 - CASSIUS MORRIS - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8FNG2BqdHI&t=868s Episode 150 - LEE SYATT & STEVE SIMEONE - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJDn68hjGNo&t=3692s Episode 92 - TIM DILLON - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Td8BRqDkfJE&t=3020s Episode 96 - MICHAEL GANDOLFINI - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uk8VS7X_cwo&t=1480s Episode 98 - KATHERINE NARDUCCI - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3d5qJs6Krxc This podcast is ALWAYS presented by ONNIT! https://www.onnit.com Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint  The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... https://spoti.fi/unclejoeysjoint  

This podcast is brought to you by Onit. Go to Anit.com and look at the great selection of supplements. If you find something you like, press in code Joey and get 10% off delivered right to your house. The hummus got you, huh? Oh, it was too much. You're not supposed to eat a spoonful of hummus. It doesn't make the medicine go down. That fucking spicy hummus tastes like a Hindu's fucking toes.

After he fucking runs two miles in fucking India with the COVID invest. with the fucking COVID egg. God knows what else. Hummus. When was the last time you ate hummus before that? Too long, almost like a little bit every once in a while. And the flies stop attacking you?

You see that? You have no flies around you anymore. They were trying to say there was a fly on your neck. But I was like, these motherfuckers. I think it was, I think it must have been you. There haven't been a fly since I left L.A. I'm clean. It's the hummus, like I told you.

When you eat hummus, it comes out of, of your fucking paws is shit what what do flies like the most shit oh you ever see a piece of shit take a piece of shit how long for the fly lands on it fucking two seconds and then he whistles for his fucking friends and his family and they all attack that piece of shit till they get down to the fucking granola bit i forgot you used to like have flies as pets and like do science experiments on flies now flies don't even come around me because you're not around see they knew i was related to you by fucking proxy even though you didn't suck my dick and I didn't

suck yours but they fucking I can't even catch I don't even see a fucking fly no more I was thinking about the I found the candy they my little fly paradise you took that home you took that from to New Jersey you bought that? Yeah that I worked hard on that little fucking fly getaway

and shit that's my little fly getaway I had a pond in there some T8C deposits and shit I had a fucking room where they could just hang themselves like a little rope shit like just it got too much the tac got too much oh my god that's so crazy what are you down now tarzan 144 jesus christ and what are you going for uh i want to get down to 150 so that's another 40 pounds and how much walking are you still doing four times a week i do about at least three miles

no shit how long does it take you now 45 minutes to an hour it's really not that bad. Like I do it on the walk with my Patreon. We just talk and it's a, uh, I actually like walking now. I, I'm, I'm never going to be a hiker or like a huge working working out person, but a little walk. It, it, it clears my mind. I, it's, it's fun. That's why I like the city more. I like being able to like, oh, I'm going to go walk to the store now. In LA, you're walking and looking at dirt and homeless people. It's boring. It's funny because you, to always say that the reason why you put on so much weight in LA was

beside the edibles, the weed, the hummus, the fucking you know, the cheese covered fries and shit. What really got you was the not walking. And I just came on a couple months, you know, I went back to Jitsu and I noticed that my

cardio was shit again. And you know, you lift weights, you do kettlebells, you try to do everything you can. I don't even know what cardio is. And then I started reading. When I joined, you jujitsu and then I got the COVID I started reading those days I had the COVID and ever since I don't know the last week of December I've been walking on a treadmill and it's so weird how you find that a lot about yourself because I never looked at walking as anything big I did it for fucking

years in New York walked from Port Authority to 150 that's 40 fucking blocks you know right that's a long fucking that's a long and I used to do that all the time I was a big time walker but i realized when i started walking again and lead do you have a whoop watch i i don't i don't you gotta get a fucking whoop watch okay whatever it is a month 30 bucks a month whatever i got to tell you man i'm learning more about myself every fucking day and every day it's a challenge like you have to beat the record from yesterday and and that's the one that tracks your workout your sleep it tracks your work out your sleep which your sleep is important it You know, it works on your fucking vitals, your oxygen, your heart rate.

You know, for me, being a fucking old goat, I like it. And it works. I've never thought that when I got it, it was a friend referred it to me at Jiu-Jitsu. And I've got to tell you, man, you learn a lot. Like, I think I'm working out hard, but you ain't doing it yet. Right. And then you go home and put the watch on, and you're like, fuck, 4.4. What the fuck?

And they'll tell you, you went to lift, but you did more cardio. based stuff so get back to lifting you know and it just really I like to sleep on it like now I'm learning to fucking go to bed early I keep my kids they'll tell you go to bed at 1113 and wake up at 748 he'll tell you

right it'll tell you what you need what your body needs water it's fucking pretty intense but man I almost got as much as I swear to Godly and this is why I called you yesterday I said I got as many happy breakfast birthdays as I got did you see Lee my Facebook had about 20 messages and 10 of them were

were really happy for Lee you know now I heard you got a podcast with the girlfriend it's funny oh yeah we just did we did an episode about going to Philly to eat but now and I uh I appreciate it man it's um you you were always in a nice way on me about working out eating right and I wish I wish I had an answer to this but I feel I honestly feel like every person just has to be there because I just wasn't I just wasn't ready I guess because it's just I've been on it for 14 months and I'm not doing really anything that's special I honestly the walking is the working out I do I threw my back out doing kettle bells and I don't do that anymore and I have regular meals it's just I got this is the lightest I've been probably since high. high school. And I'm just, I like it. I'm down to a 36 now. I was over 50 inch waste when I left L.A. I was at, I stopped at a Walmart in Arkansas or wherever the head of Walmart is. And I had to buy the biggest jeans they had and they barely fit. And now I'm down to a 36 and like even Steve,

Simone and Jimmy Schubert. They took me walking when we were still in L.A. during COVID. We went walking a couple times a week. I had to sit down on the street. I hate it. hated it. Just little changes, man. I mean, look at you. I just like I told you yesterday. I just watched the Sopranos movie. You were so much bigger back then. You lost a ton of weight too, I bet. You know, it looks like I lost weight, but it's deceiving. I'm putting on weight as we fucking speak. I've gained like 10 pounds since the COVID. Is it muscle? Do you think? I don't have a muscle in my fucking body. I'm an old fucking geezer, but I don't know what it is. You know, I've been eating the edibles again

And some of them, like all the Delta Ates have that sugar on them and shit Sugar is my fucking enemy I mean sugar is everybody's enemy Between the inflammation and the weight I can eat 22 fucking pork chops And not gain as much weight as though I eat one fucking donut I like that shirt Thank you brother

That shirt says fucking That's a good album That's a good fucking album You got some good albums there on the wall fucking wanted, dead or alive. The pride behind you, I don't even want to say it because people get pissed. You got my fucking album back there.

That's a nightmare. I like it. I do too. I don't want to remember. That was fucking horrible. I bombed the first show. I had a change to set around. It was a fuck.

I'm not good with specials, George. I'm just not a good special comic. I check on the pressure. I'm only good when I'm. I'm live. Fuck that shit. Yeah, I feel you. What's up, buddy?

Nothing much, man. We podcasted last night, chilled, you know? It's weird not having my dog around, man. I'm sorry by your dog. It's a fucking nightmare. But give it a breathe

and then go get another one. And now I'm not going to get no more. That's it. You're done? I'm done. Yeah, my daughter wants me to get a dog. I got to wait for the cats to die and then I'll get a fucking dog for.

I got the yard and everything, but you got to be careful with dogs. because they got the ticks from the fucking deer and shit. Next thing you know, you're dizzy. And that's fucking it. How's it work? How's California treating you? California's good, man.

The strip club's good. But, you know, the comedy story, they want like a full background check now. Motherfuckers. They're checking the barcode on everything now. So what's the barcode? It's on the fucking vaccination? Yeah, it's on the vaccination.

That card looks bogus. Yeah. But the codes are put in, the computer, and your phone number, and your email, and your birthday come up. Okay. So. And you haven't gotten vaccinated yet? Hell no, but I got the card.

Okay. Yeah, that's the way it is. Fuck it. Don't let a lot of people know. They'll give you a fucking felony. That's the last thing. Can you imagine going to fucking having a felony because you used a fucking COVID card? And they give you like three years.

because they want to make an example and shit and you're in jail with COVID. Oh, shit. That shit is running through prison. Oh, it ain't. That shit was running through the prisons. That's why they inoculated those motherfuckers first. Uh-huh.

But you know what? They were sharing, if you had COVID, you were supposed to give it to the whole dorm so people had COVID were getting released early. Damn. What a fucking scam. You go up to your fucking CEO and coughing his face Hey dog

I seen videos where fools are like hey I got COVID drinking at each eight Eat off his ball get it get it You get to go home No shit how many people did they release in California I think they released like 30,000 God damn That's a lot of criminals walking around Doug Yeah but it was like you know

Drug charges nothing major You know Can you imagine George being locked up with COVID now? I would have fucking, I don't know. Fucked up it is to be locked up now. I've stayed out of that fucking hole for 30 years. I can't imagine we're going to prison as night now. No smoking.

Yeah. Fucking just, you know, you did it. We did it already. We got it out of the fucking way. You know, I'm happy I got it out of the way. It's never going to happen again. I can never get fucking locked. up again, dog. That was, that's fucked up when they take away your freedom. That is

fucked up, man. People have no idea how fucked up it is when a man wakes you up and kicks your bed. You got to sit up for a count. You remember that shit? You got to sit down and wait for a motherfucker to walk by all quiet? Fuck that. Eight counts of fucking day. They come in and move your sheet at night to make sure it's you that you haven't escaped because I was at a camp. I ended up at a camp. You know, I went through the fucking diagnosis. I was thinking about diagnostic the other day, Doug.

I had to go for a blood test. And I'm like, dog, I'm going to faint in this fucking thing. They had us like in a little pod. I'm going to faint and they're going to fuck me in the ass, these motherfuckers. I was petrified. And dog, usually I tell a lady when she's taking our blood to be a little careful because I faint.

I didn't say nothing. No way. And I sat down. It was one of those fucking school chairs. The desk. I put my little fucking faggy arm out and shit. I looked the other way. I was trying to make believe I was hard and shit.

And I'm like, yeah, I'm going to do this and fucking she shot me, George, took blood out and Uncle Joey didn't faint. I walked in that fucking thing with a stroll to me and shit. Like what, bitch, say something. Later on I went to my room, I'm like, ah, I'm straight. I put my arm down. I go, let me see what happened. I took a piece of cotton off.

There was a piece of cotton with a little dot of blood. I fainted in my fucking cell, Doug. I went down like a bad habit. I woke up 20 minutes later with a lump on my head and shit fucking walking around with ice to fucking nightmare when you try to be hard and you ain't, dog.

It's a fucking nightmare. My diagnostics was different. We were at war with, like, the prison was at war with each other. So they made us sit in these fucking cages like in like, because no one was allowed to wait in the doctor's office because fools are fighting right there.

And we were just waiting in those fucking cages, man. And it's Bakersfield fucking freezing at 6 in the morning, dog. You're just sitting there waiting and fucking... Honestly, I was worried because I was fucking a lot of chicks back then. And they're like, yo, dog, you find out if you got AIDS today. Like, I was worried. They were like, yo, they do every test. And I was just like, damn.

Yeah, thinking of Magic Johnson and everything at that time, I was like, damn, dog. I'm going to own the Dodgers, eh? It's crazy how when I got locked up, it was 87. Fuck. I was chanting. 88. 88 is when I got locked up.

I'm coming on the anniversary now, August 15th of 88. And when I got locked up, HIV was huge. Oh, yeah. So the prisons. had a build an HIV wing. Every jail I was at was under construction. But when I got to Camp George West and Golden,

they already had an age unit. George, you had to see this fucking thing. State of the art appliances. They didn't want these motherfuckers in the kitchen or nothing. No, no. They had their own setup, state of the art. They had a TV in there, big screen TV already in 88. I remember going in there and watching the Dodgers.

So we would hang out at the age unit. My headquarters was the age unit. That's why I took book. That's why I brought my food. That's why I did everything. It was the HIV unit. They only housed five people, and they only had three people in the rooms.

Wow. So they were like, nobody talks to us because they treat us like fucking will lepers. So when I got there, the one black dude was tremendous. And he's like, come on over, say hello whenever you want. I went over there one time. I didn't leave. I didn't leave

They're like dog You got HIV I don't give a fuck I'd rather be in here with you guys I would wake up and shoot over there Those guys had everything Thank you for being here Thank you for checking in

Let's open up the week With fucking ice cream shop Has got the blunts in stock They went in partnership With Packwoods Laughing gas Is now in a blunt And let me tell you something

I hope you love your eyes Because I had to actually hold an eye While I was smoking this motherfucker Your eye Is gonna fly the fuck out I want to thank fucking pipe freeze for sending us a bong

freezepipe.com for sending us a new pipe and a little fucking smoker from my man Mike Klein there so now he's at home doing bong I love when I give Mike weed like I don't even have to

fucking ask him if the weed is good I just wait a night and look at his artwork when I see that a picture of a devil fucking a monkey I'm like that weed is good you know what I'm saying? I'll watch some of the Rogan posters and shit

and I go, this weed is fucking home me up. Dude, he asked me, he told me the other day, you know, the last couple, they're kind of out there. Yeah, they're out there because I'm giving them the weed of debt. There's one day I woke up. He wrote three songs. He composed a fucking album overnight.

I woke up at 8 in the morning. He's like, I wrote an album and performed the last night. What the fuck, Mike? Then I'm like, I gave him that weed. He gets like Lee. Remember when Lee used to smoke? He used to come up with business ventures. I got a new one.

idea for floatable donuts, you know, shit like that. There was always something. Every time you gave them good weed, they go home and they come back with a fucking, a guitar. You know, they come home with something. They come back with something. I thought you needed a guitar. That's fucking tremendous. So, yeah, it's always great to smoke some good reefer on the fucking weekend.

Dog, it was a great. I posted a picture here a day. Since I have moved here, people have been telling me about this restaurant, El Nino. Joe, you got to go to Olney, Joe, you got to go to El Nita. It's close to my house. When I go to the gym, I have to drive by there. And I see they have like little boots outside that you could sit with your girlfriend. Just alone in a booth if you want, they close the curtains for you.

I love that shit. When I first got into comedy, I used to do comedy at a place called The Broker. Great fucking restaurant. I loved it. Until this day, I'm very loyal to them. They won't let me back on the place to do comedy. comedy, but, you know, some people have short memories, you know what I'm saying? Everybody says they're a Christian, but they don't practice what they preach, you know what I'm saying?

So they had four restaurants. They had like the broker in Boulder. They had the broker in like Aurora. Every one of them had a different name, but they had the broker in Denver, and it was called the Woman's Bank. And you're like, the Woman's Bank, ah, until you went down there. For starters, the broker, when you sit down there. They'd open up with a back with a fucking not a cup, not a, not a thing, not like a soup bowl. I wish I was exaggerating to you.

They'd open up with a manhole cover filled with shrimp, Katrina shrimp. You know the ones I'm talking about, the ones you dip in soy sauce, not soy sauce, cocktail sauce. If you eat 20 of those, you're going to shit blood because they don't clean them. They're just the little geeky ones, but you know what? When you're 31 and broke, you will eat those motherfuckers like that for, Le Mignon. You know what I'm saying? You'd throw them up in the air, like fucking just lick them out of the air. I would go to the broker just for the fucking shrimp, and they would bring you a bowl. But the thing about the ladies bank was the woman's bank, I'd take a date

with me. Come on, dog, when you're young and you're doing a couple fucking bump of roos, you close the curtains, you eat her monkey, and then breakfast is served, you know what I'm saying? Boom, the waiter comes. My aunt, I come in, absolutely. You pull up a little panty hose, and you sit there and you eat your fucking shrimp, you eat 20 shrimp, you got a heart on, and you close the curtain again and give another stabbing doggy style. Nobody knows nothing.

Who gives about the flower in her shirt? It's a little fucked up. You swished it, you know what I'm saying? You smushed it, fuck it. But I like that shit when you could close a curtain and stuff. Not that I would do anything perverted down there, but I'm saying that. So it seemed interesting to me, you know,

I'm like to have curtains. Then I joined the pool, and at the pool, there were these little fucking old dudes that were retired but there was this one dude a Jewish dude sweetheart Phil he would always talk to me

about restaurants this guy would spit out restaurants from Boston Iowa because he traveled for a living so he that was his thing was hunting down restaurants you know this guy could tell you

like I asked him about a restaurant he's like what did you think about the fountain when somebody tells you what did you think about the mountain, they looked at all the details. Like, they like that shit. You know, there's people who live for that shit.

And he was telling me that that restaurant is in the top five restaurants in Jersey. He goes, I did the math. He goes, this is what I do. This guy's retired. He goes out to dinner five nights a fucking week all over the place. Plus, my man, Dave Baton, DB orthopedics. I'm going to give him a shout out. He helped me with my knee.

He's trying to help me with my right, left knee now to get the arthritis out of there. DB orthopedics, that motherfucker knows. every slice of pizza, every meatball from here to fucking Delaware. It's unbelievable. And he was telling me, like since the beginning, even when we go out to different dinners, he would go, dog, I'm going to take you Telanito one day. I'm going to take you Telanido.

But then I heard mixed reviews. People are like, it's really good, but it's not my type Italian food. And I get it. And then people are saying, well, they don't give you big servings. And I get it. It's fine dining. What are you, a fucking gorilla?

Go to Burger King if you want to eat all you want to eat. You gotta have some fucking cadence thing your fucking life. What are you fucking? So I finally, me and my wife, you know, we try to do a date night once a month. I mean, with the kids, we're out all the time eating with the kids and shit. You know, medium range restaurants, wings, pizzas. I get the salads, shit like that. But, you know, you got to take them to a carpet joint from time to time.

You know what I'm saying? You got to take them through a rug joint. You know, fine dining, fucking some guy playing a violin. Not that they're playing a violin in El Nito. They don't need to play a violin. They don't need no fucking gimmicks or nothing. So fucking Thursday night, me and my wife went down there. Holy shit.

That's all I could say. Holy shit. First off, it's all organic. The owner, his name is Joe. He's a 78-year-old Joe Rogan. It's like if Joe Rogan was 78 years old. When they bring you every dish, they explain the history to you of that dish. and what region of Italy it came from.

Now, you guys know me a long time. You ever see those waiters? They bring you a glass of wine and you have to taste it. Then they stand there. It's like, you know, just pour the fucking glass. You know, I'm one of those fucking guerrillas too. You know what I'm saying? But it was just sharp.

Like from the minute you walk in there, we sat down, fucking, you would never hear this word out of me. The ambiance is tremendous. When he came over, he confirmed it. You know, I have a problem hearing. That's why I have those hearing aids. I have a problem when I go to a restaurant, when two people, when I'm talking to Mike, let's say, at a restaurant,

I don't really hear Mike. I hear the dishwasher in the back slamming. I can hear the cooks talking because my hearing is fucking off. So when I go to a restaurant nine out of ten times, the food better be good because if not, it's an uncomfortable situation for me. I'm unfuncting comfortable in that. Like I can't hear. So when you're talking to me, not this place.

And when Joe the owner came on, we were talking, he explained to me that he installed something in the ceiling. So all the sound gets, just way ahead of the fucking curve. Way ahead of the curve. All their ingredients are 85% imported. I mean, you got to taste this shit. He grows all his vegetables. So when you put a vegetable, like whatever you think a green bean tastes like, when you taste it in there, it's what it should taste like. The fucking chicken in there.

It just breaks off. It's those chickens that have not been kicked. So it's like, think about the shit you can discover and how you can grow. We don't get that. It's like playing baseball, right? Like you fucking play baseball. You can work. You can hit off a tee.

You know what I mean? If you don't have anybody else, what, you can throw a ball against a fucking tree, right? You can like stretch. You can work out. But in order to play the game, you got to have a bunch of other people with all the equipment, with the field, with the ball. They got to be willing to play. They all going to be allowed to be there at the same time.

That's how you get better at baseball. You go to practice. The way you get better as an actor is you go to play rehearsal. You don't do it by sitting alone in your fucking living room saying the lines to a mirror. You know, you don't say it by like the 10 seconds you get between action and cut on a film set. You know, you drive them in the car, you're saying the lines over and over. What fucking practice is that? You know what I mean?

Rehearsal is fucking where you do. I love it. I love all that shit. I like when they block on a movie. Yeah, yeah. I love all that. I've always loved that. Imagine doing that for eight hours.

Dog, I got to tell you a funny story. I don't think I told you. So we do the table. read, Ray's there. Yeah. I respect the shit out of Ray Leona.

I love Ray Leona. I say, how you doing? I keep it to a minimum. He's from Union, New Jersey up the corner here, so I keep it to a minimum. I don't see Ray for like two weeks,

and we're shooting, and all of a sudden Ray shows up, you know? It's like five in the morning. I'm in my trailer, smoking dope, and I finish my joint. You know, I go to makeup,

and there's Ray next to me. I don't say good morning. how you doing ladies good and also on the way out I go, Ray not for nothing if you want to rehearse the lines let me know if you know this motherfucker

didn't even answer me he heard you know oh yeah he heard me loud and clear and he just looked over me and he just fucking turned his face I'm like motherfucker

right so I'm like I'm not going to say none of this motherfucker now we get into the scene it's a table and Satrialli's and shit and he's sitting there at the end and I'm sitting right next to him

so I got to live all I don't say a word so first line comes up hop along Keseech hey who are you talking about and then he starts with his Frank Sinatra Dean Martin joke and he's fucking it up

yeah like he can't we could talk about this now I remember yeah this was like first day he was in there he's spitting food he's trying to chew he's biting food with the thing in it

they fucking what's his name leaves God bless him whatever is David Chase he fucking couldn't take it no more because the fucking girl came over 20 times Ray

Can you imagine coming over to him Oh my God No no she came over 20 times Ray the line is the line And he's like wiping his face And shit like You're like hey Ray you want to rehearse those lines No I didn't say it

So all of a sudden again Action Ray fucks up the line I can't take it no more. I go, Ray, maybe you should have fucking read those lines to me. He just looked at me like you. He didn't like me that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He didn't even talk to me after that. Ray, you should have fucking rehearsed those lines, you know? Yeah. He got so angry, he just left. Did you hear about that? He just left. We shot that scene without him. I heard that was a couple times.

He had to put him like somebody there and shot that scene without him. So he's Ray Leota. He's the star in a fucking movie. What are you going to do? You know, he's having a bad day. So I don't say nothing. I'm dying a laugh. I'm dying to laugh.

He's spitting food. John is going crazy. The guy that's playing Silvio, he's like, what the fuck is going on over that? This is going on for three fucking hours, four hours. Finally, Ray leaves. He just left.

Nobody said nothing. I think, honestly, people were like, thank God. Thank God he laughed because he just didn't have it together. Read those lines off camera. I did not want to laugh. It's my first time with these people. I don't want to laugh,

and I don't want to be an asshole. So I'm saying nothing about it. I'm just sitting there and from time to time giggling by myself and then at one point we're sitting there it's got to be three in the fucking morning we're there from six in the morning and fucking

John McGarrow looks at us as like six of us and he goes what the fuck was going on with Ray today Doug we fucking lost it because everybody was waiting for somebody to say what the fuck was going everybody lost it and then we you know we pack up rap

we all get in the van we're shooting back to the city we're sitting there with tired And out of nowhere, the makeup lady goes, can I ask you guys a question? What was going on with Ray Leone today? And this time, the fucking driver of the car, the teamster, was like, he busted out because he's like, dog, I was listening to it. What the fuck was going on in that?

You know, he was just having it. But then, like, I didn't see Ray. I didn't see him at all, maybe one of the day. And then I went to see the movie. And you see him in prison, you're like, oh, fuck. He's a fucking killer. He's a fucking killer. That's 30 fucking years of acting.

That's right. What I'm trying to tell you guys, it's everything is great. We got a great interview today. You know, I'm in podcasting for 10, close to 11 years now. I don't consider myself anything. I'm just a podcaster who's lucky. You know, the joint does what it does. I don't sweat it.

I'm trying to give a message out. Some people I help, some people I don't. Some people like it. Some people don't. It doesn't make a difference to me whatsoever. Some people moved on. God bless you. I'm happy that you moved on.

Whenever you want to come back, you're more than welcome here. But one guy that never moved on, one guy that I, is a fucking animal. Is a kid by the name of Cassius Morris. I met him 10 years ago when he reached out and I did his podcast. And I felt so good about it afterward because I was actually. actually helping a kid out with his dream. I could tell by talking to him that this is what he wanted to do

and I gave him props. You know, when I was 12, I didn't know what the fuck I wanted to do. I had no, he had pinpointed it and stuck with it. And now he's 22. He's been doing a podcast for 10 fucking years. You know, he's a fucking great media guy.

And like I told him when you watch, in 10 years, He's going to be the fucking king. And you get to see him now on Uncle Joey's joint. Enjoy it. Joe Diaz, what's going on? How are you, my little friend? It's been a long fucking time.

It has been a long time, my man. It feels like we were in different worlds the last time we talked, I think, right at the beginning of the pandemic. Was that long? It was that long, man. But it's okay. I've been watching you. Obviously, everybody else has loving it, man. And I've been watching you too, man.

You had some sensational guests on there. Thank you. doing your thing, you're growing, which is what I thought. How old were you when I met you? I was scratching my head there and I going, how old was I when I went on your podcast first? Right. And I said a bunch of fucking stupid shit. And I left there and I'm like, how can I talk like that in front of a 12-year-old kid?

What the fuck is wrong with me? Like I felt like such a fucking douchebag. But then you became my nephew and I forgave myself. How old were you the first time we podcasted? I had to be like turning 13. Wow. And I mean, I really appreciated it, Joey, because you were the first person

of really give me an actual chance. Like, that was the opening to a lot of things for me, you know, and that was a big chapter of my life. When I look back and think on that, it's, I can't even really describe how it feels, you know, that somebody gave me a chance like that. That never went over my head just so you know. You know how many fucking chances people gave me?

So when I see a guy online, that's on there every day, busting his ass. I reach out. You know, we, we would stop. We started talking. We started complimenting each other, you know. I liked that you were a young kid and you were going after it.

You knew what you wanted. I think after the first interview, you were talking to me about not going to school. Yeah. L.A. And, you know, just shit that was, I was really blown away. Like, how much. When I was 12, I thought I was going to be a fucking basketball. player, but I really didn't, you know what I'm saying?

Like I want to be a basketball player and an astronaut, you know, the comedy shit that you tell your mother, but to really tell somebody when you're 12 years old that you want to be in media and, you know, grow and interview bands and, you know, there was two guys that you guys really blew me away. One was you and one is the kid from Rockin' Pins. Okay, yes, yes. I've watched both of you. Right.

take off while everybody else was fucking crying. There's a lot of crying that goes on. While everybody else is fucking crying, nobody gives me nothing. You and Mauricio kept pounding it out, pounding it out. I still remember Mauricio paying for concerts to take pictures and bringing them to me at the store.

That's how he had to sneak in, and they threw him out and the whole thing. And then he got a press pass. and he started going to shows now and then he started writing a blog to accompany the shows and you know this is what it is

nobody's going to give you dick everybody thinks they're going to give you dick nobody's going to give you dick go get the fuck you know the other day some guy hit me up and he's like I want you to do this this this this in the podcast I go want you do me a favor start your own podcast

he didn't even have a podcast and he's emailing you no and he's emailing me like barking me orders and I'm like You have the knowledge on this. Great guy. Don't get me wrong. He was a great guy.

And you know why I told him to start his own podcast? Because he's got a great story. He's a cancer survivor, which... Oh, wow. I knew if I had cancer and I was at home sweating. I mean, I have a dear friend right now that's going through hell. And I want to talk to a cancer survivor. I want to see a guy that made it through the other side.

The same way, a guy that went to prison for four years for a stupid thing looks at me. goes, wait a second, that motherfucker came out and did something different with his life. If he could do it, I could do it. So I told him, I go, you're a cancer survivor. You could spread love. You could save so many people and give so

many people hope just by fucking one podcast, two podcasts. Tell them what you went through, the puking, the chemo, you know. Yeah. So it's just it's a great thing that we're doing. It's great that we're still here, fucking pushing, doing our thing. It's nice that some

people stick around like obviously you were always going to stick around joey but it's like it's true it's like a rotating door where there's not many familiar faces that you can say okay five six years ago they were doing a show and stuff it's like it's constantly changing you know so i understand what you mean well this pandemic made people stay home and yeah i estimate uh you know 10 000 new podcast started right especially now but as usual as per life is people want to make money money and they don't have the patience. If you want to make money, go to the supermarket, stock shells at night. Yeah.

And then do podcasts in the daytime and build it up until it's like comedy. It's like being a guitar player. It's like anything else. You know, go get a fucking job. Keep playing your fucking guitar. But I work eight to six. Well, you know, you got to go on stage from seven to ten. Exactly.

That's a fucking year of that. And then somebody will throw you a bone. Some guy will say, hey, man, I do a band. And next thing you know, you're making $200 a month. Next thing, you know, you're making $400 a month. Next thing you know, you're making $750 a month. You know, and now you're like, fuck it. Now I know what I got to do.

If I can make $1,100 a month, okay, that means I got to get rid of my cable. Mm-hmm. I got to, for me to live my dream. These are the things I got to sacrifice. There's so many sacrifices. You know, it's incredible. I don't even have a TV in here, Joey, like in my new spot, because I was looking at TVs and I said,

why would I pay hundreds of dollars that I'm never going to get back to waste time? I was like, let's get real here because I'm looking around and I'm like, time is not something like, it feels like just the other day you and me first met. So it's like time is not something that is that expendable. You know what I mean? So it's, it's insane.

And I feel like a lot of people, they want to talk about what they want to do. They want to watch videos of Bill Gates and sit and fantasize, but they don't want to make moves to make that transition. Because if you say something, they're going to bring you in. It's like, I was watching the soprano. Remember that guy that was a witness, and he told the cops, I'm a good citizen.

I should have said something. Then two weeks later, his name is in the paper, and he's like, I'm going to get killed by the gangsters. That's why shut your fucking mouth. Set your fucking mouth sometimes. You want to be a fucking playboy or a boy scout. Dude on your own fucking time. Go tie a shoelaces.

Go bring a donut to a homeless guy. What the fuck is wrong with you? But they're doing great. And I'm, you know what? I'm happy for them. A lot of people turned that back on him. He got to see where he stood in life. Yeah.

And once you see where you stand in life, you're fucking brand new. You're brand new. He's got nothing to talk about, nobody to talk with. Fuck you. You said shit about me on Twitter. Yep. And he moves on. I check him with DeLeo all the time.

Me too. I love him. I love Chris. He loves being a dad. He's a family. His parents are awesome. Like, I love that. Come on, man.

What happened was he was fucking Pete when he was being a dick. You're like when the chick sucks your dick. You're like, oh, you're finished. Get the fuck out of here. can't do that for these chicks. These chicks actually think that they want to get married to you or something. So it was just a bad situation. I'm happy we all moved down from that.

I'm happy all the stupid shit that people are saying, fucking everybody moved down from it. Now you see. Now you see why we're the way we are. Now what are you got? Now you got comedians that aren't going to fucking talk to you. Yeah. That's what you got now.

Comedians that aren't going to fucking talk to you. They're scared. I know comic, no names. He said he will never do another meeting. and greet, he doesn't give a Frenchman's fuck. Yeah. Because God forbid, you touch somebody wrong, whatever. So that's what you get now.

That's what you get. You want to complain about comedians. You know, that's why. Dog, and there was, there was some creepy shit. I got, I took a picture with a fucking, I told you about that. Three years ago, I went to, like, Toledo. I went to Toledo, Ohio. Is that what you, the Toledo?

Yeah. The Funnybone in Toledo. Yep. What, four fucking years ago? five fucking years ago. In between, I dog, it was so long, I don't even fucking remember. I took a picture with a fucking, I was in the lobby in the hotel. Like about five, a no-no on a Saturday, especially in a small town because everybody knows you're at that hotel.

Gotcha. I went out to dinner, it was a smaller hotel, didn't have room service. Usually for dinner at any hotel on Saturday, I just have room service because you don't really want to go out. I do all my shit early. I go to the gym. And then I go up to the room about four, watch TV for a little while. And then I didn't do that that day.

I went out. When I came back, they were checking it. Now, she was really attractive. And so was he. They were a young couple. They were like 32. Yeah. She took a picture of me.

He took a picture of me. Then they both took a picture of me. Never thought about it again. Yeah. Hi, goodbye. They said I was very approachable. Whatever. Two years later, I'm getting a fucking email.

looking for my address. He was filing for divorce, and he used one of my pictures with the chick to say she was cheating on him. That's terrible. Do you know what I'm saying? So now I've got an attorney and all that stuff. Wait, wait a minute. They hit up an attorney?

Yeah, the attorney might hit me up. Well, you have, oh, my God. So with all that shit, now, how do you feel after that? Do you want to, you know, how do you want my behavior to be after that? You know, UFC fighters are taking pictures of people. they would say, get me in a headlock. And a year later, they're getting sued. Because they said when you got them in the headlock,

you hurt their fucking neck. And it sucks because, like, the vast majority, like 95% of people we meet or I've met through this have been so cool. Very cool. But the crazy have gotten crazier. And it's just, it's not, it's just not worth it. Like, as much as it would suck to be like, oh, I can't take a picture.

But it's like, is this the one time I take a picture? And someone says I did something. Or even yesterday, some guys, first time in six months, anyone said anything to me about the church. Some guys stopped me to gas in. But they literally pulled over. They weren't even really in a spot. They left the car running.

And I was like, am I about to get fucking, like, like, like, I'm nowhere in the middle of nowhere in Connecticut. But so, like, you think about it now. I get it. And mine is a hundredth, a thousandth of what you're, like, I said last night as a joke to, like, How often do you get recognized because it happened last night when we were out? And your wife was like, oh, every day.

Like that, that's a little bit much. That must get a little bit old. No, you say hello to people. There's some people who were, last night I was in a restaurant. No, Friday night I went to a restaurant in Coltsnack. And I thought I got 12 kids and I got 12 adults. You know, I got like six sets of parents and we're sitting. We just come from a tag, a flag football game.

and we're sitting there we're having a good time with the kids and all of a sudden a guy comes in with kids and they stop because the waitress is there and I make eye contact with the guy

and he looks at me and I go what's happening he goes how you doing man he goes I loved you the longest shot he shook my hand and he kept moving with his kids

great people yeah that's it he goes that's mercy I go yeah I listen to the podcast and he walked away yeah some other kid

I was going to say good people make it easy to be nice to them they make it easy they make life easy but then there's Problem people. Where are you just going?

Then I got two kids around me. I got my daughter sitting on me, and I got the neighbor girl busting my balls because my pants were short and I could see my ass crack. So the neighbor girl kept saying, I'm going to throw pennies in there, Mr. Diaz. And all of a sudden some kid goes,

you Joe Diaz? And I'm like, no, you got the wrong guy. Just because I knew what he wanted. When you see a guy with two kids, he was excited, you know, he was very excited. He was young, and I knew he was going to hang there. He might even slip and say,

where's the reefer at or something? I'm sitting next to a cop. Right. He's a detective. He knows I get high, but I don't want to slam it in his face. Right. So I go, no, no, and he goes, everybody,

fuck it, you look just like him. Anybody ever tell you that? And the detective goes, I tell him all the time. He looks just like Joe Diaz. He won't listen. And everybody's laughing at the table, and the guy's like, man, you look just like Joey. I didn't do that because I was a scumbag.

I did it because I know. that what it was going to open. The other guy had kids with them and you know, he was just like nice you know, whatever. I love talking to people. I love, listen, I'm a chatty. You know what I'm saying? Like, I love talking to people. So if you're

cool with me and you approach me the right way, I'll talk to you for 10 fucking years. The other day I went to Lobodies. End up talking to some guy out there for fucking 20 minutes about CGI. Yep. You know, he just

he came up to me. He's like, I'm in high school and I want to learn he goes when they shot in the Sopranos that they really had him we talked yeah he didn't want to take a picture he didn't give a fuck about comedy polite and respectful that like I remember being in a bar I wasn't even drinking but I was like five years ago or whatever bartender slammed and uh you know I kept the aisle and I said excuse me I could say that you're busy but when you have a chance may please get a diet Coke with no ice and guy goes what I said I understand you're busy I go but when you please just to die of coke and he went You know what?

Whatever you want, it's free. I go, what? He goes, order whatever you want. He goes, you're the only polite person we've had in here in a year. He goes, whatever you want, I got it. Like, because people don't do that anymore. There's no more common courtesy. I think that over the, with the situation the last two years, I think, you know, man, I call it like a mental health issue

because maybe I had a little bit of mental health issue. But at times when you see all these planes and stuff, I was thinking about the planes, There was people have been in the house too long and they forgot how to act. Well, she's thanked me about a week, two weeks ago, my daughter took me aside, eight years old, and she's like, Dad, thank you for bringing me here. Thank you for turning me on to your food.

She fucking loves White Castle. You know, she'll ask me twice a week. Can we go to White Castle? You know, she loves fucking Carvel. I mean, I took her out Sunday, yes. She loves Carvel. She's all over fucking Carvel. Carvel.

Yeah, last night she asked me because I took it to a football game. She's like, you know, it's get a Sunday free today at Carvel. I'm like, we're not fucking going to Carvel because I take her once a week for her. Yeah, every now. Her little fucking vanilla ice cream soda. Yeah. But even like I could tell how she treats the people I grew up with, in contrast to other people.

She really digs them. She really goes out of their way to talk to him. She's asked some questions. She asked some questions. Like, did you go to school with my daddy? You know, so she's really appreciate that. That's what made me happy. Right now, I got to be honest with you.

I've been having an all right time here. But watching her have a great time makes my dick hard. What's the difference between when you grew up there and now? How what are the major changes? Holy shit. It's, listen, I grew up in a city that was buck fucking wild. No rules. I was getting dressed yesterday.

the shower. I was thinking about a friend of mine getting me a job one day and before he left the room he goes, enjoy your job, you know. And he goes, don't forget to steal because if you don't steal, they're going to know I was stealing.

Who the fuck tells you that in a society? So it was buck wild up there. I live an hour from where I grew up. Where I grew up is really fucking populated. It's right across the Hudson River from New York City. So I didn't want to move up there. There was no way I was moving.

up there. Right. I'm in a place now where, you know, it's wide open. There's trees. The other than that was smoking a joint on my front porch and two deer ran in front of me. I thought I was going to have a fucking heart attack, Tim Dillon. I thought I was going to shit my fucking pants when I seen those deer in my front porch at a quarter to 11.

I got a cup of tea in me and I got half a joint. I'm just sitting and I heard this fucking thing. And the two deer jumped out in front of me and I almost shipped my pants. It's a different world, Tim. Yeah, yeah. It's a different world, you know, and I'm happy I got to bring her here. I'm happy my wife is here. She's having a great time.

My wife had friends. My wife has friends now that don't give a fuck who I am. Right. You know, before she would make a friend and after two weeks, the girl would say, you know, can we give you a husband a script? And my wife would go, was this what it's all about? And then when my wife tells them, no, they stopped talking to my wife. That was L.A. for my wife. Yeah, that's tough.

They could get out of her on her end. And if nothing, move the fuck on. You know, so she's in a different place now. She's surrounded with real parents. Yeah, they care about their kids. Yeah, these people are not in the, you know, in L.A., people use their kids. They're pimping out their kids in L.A. has a fucking marketing fucking tool.

No, they're pimping out their kids. Yeah. No, it's crazy. I know people who have a kid just to put them in carpenter. Yeah. They don't give a fuck about the kid. carpent to school for people don't know it's in Studio City

and it's a grammar school but it's where all the fucking celebrities go their kids go to school and they have their Christmas party at CBS Radford on the lot Yeah, I get it because I have a godson who's like a quarter Filipino but we say Chinese because we want them to

you know higher end We say Japanese or Chinese We don't admit to Filipino But he's a but he's the chubby baby with the Asian face I go let's get him in something Let's make a couple of dollars here, you know, because the reality is, is, you know, the only thing he could be is a nurse,

really, because his mother's in our Filipino nurse. I said, so let's just make, let's get him, like he'll drink some juice. He eats the donut. Let's make a few hundred grand of this motherfucker before because he might grow up to be a beautiful kid, but he also might grow up to be absolutely disgusting. We don't know. So I get it. Like in L.A., like sometimes you just got to make the money while they're young.

Let me tell you something. I remember going to fucking auditions for commercials and seeing like, you know, when you go to those auditions, they have eight rooms. Right. And they have one room that's for kids. Like kids come.

And I would sit there and just watch the parents and watch the kids and fucking get sick to my stomach. Yeah. How the parents would act. Because the parents are like Pistol Pete's father. Yeah. They're pushing the kid. They're telling the kid he's got to get this audition.

The fucking poor kid wants to play with blocks. Right. You know, he don't want to be with fucking adults. Some of those kids are psychopaths. You know, I was an actor as a kid when I was young. I was on Sesame Street. I started in plays when I was like six. No shit.

Swear to God. And I legitimately, I did, I toured around the country with a show. My mother went on tour with me. I did a lot of theater. I did Sesame Street. I did a NYU student film. I never did anything big. I tried out for big shit.

But I never got like home improvement or anything. those big sitcom. I never got him. And my parents were like, they, they weren't good at being a stage mom. Like, they should have been pushier and more aggressive, but they weren't. And then every time I would fail at the audition, we would

go home through Penn Station in New York City. And I would go, can I go to Dairy Queen? And they would get me a Dairy Queen Blizzard. And I would eat it like a failure in the waiting room of the Long Island Railroad. And I would get, I would get like,

I forget what kind I'd get. I get an Oreo or Reese's peanut buttercup blizzard. And I would just sit there and eat it like a failure. And then we'd finally take the train home. So it was a tragic thing. But I had fun doing it, but I never made it. But you did it. 13, I became a cocaine addict.

So maybe it's not good. You started snorting at 13? At 13, yeah. Holy shit. Some are going into high school. Yeah. Jesus Christ, Tim Dillon. What haven't you done?

I was at my friend Tina DeLuca's house and we're in Long Island and she had a nice house on the water. And she goes, we got, you know, me and a couple other friends were there. And, you know, they were like, let's try cocaine. I said, that sounds like a great idea. And she had it. And we did it. Didn't even work. I didn't even.

First time I said, uh, it doesn't even. We had to keep doing it and doing it. And then finally, uh, you know, it took. You got to drink with it. Yeah. Yeah. It took eventually. But I mean, I was smoking weed.

I was doing acid. Uh, you know, all of those things. Yeah, first tab of acid. I was in, my first tab of acid, you're going to laugh, was at my friend's house. I was in eighth grade. The second time I did acid, I was on the graduation stage of my junior high school. And me and my friend Shay, my friend Tina, we're like a three. We all took a tab of acid and we were standing there.

And the valedorian is up there, wouldn't shut up, some Asian girl. and she was talking and talking. God bless her, but she was talking about, you know, whatever, you know, and we were just standing there.

And then finally, we went to the beach afterwards. We were all, we were finally tripping. But yeah, I started really young, and then I sobered up at 25. So I had about 10 year period of,

of being out and doing wild shit. Now, you sober today? Sober is a church. No drinking, no smoking, no smoking, no pills,

no weed, nothing. How long now? About 11 years. No shit, Tim Dillon. About 11 years, yeah. You're what? Your skin's glowing.

What kind of face routine you got going on, huh? No, no refall all fucking day. Just to join at night. I'm getting some good sleep. There you go. I'm drinking a lot of fucking water. I love it. And vitamin D, you know, Jersey vitamin D mixed with a little pollution.

The best. A little cancer in the air. It's good for you. I love that smell when you land. Like when I get back from L.A. And I land in New York, like the smell of like New York pollution and trash. Like, I love it. It makes me feel good.

It's in my blood. There you go. It's quite, I like when you're driving on the turnpike and you get that whiff, those fucking odors of New Jersey. And you see that stack blowing the fucking smoke into the air and God knows what's up there. And the marsh, you have like the marsh and who knows how many bodies are buried in there. I do know how many bodies are buried in there. There's a lot.

In fact, I saw a foot sticking out the other day on the 18. I'm like, I'm not even going to bother that motherfucker. It's funny. We were driving on the 18th year and then my daughter goes, Dad, I just saw a bear. And my wife is like, let's pull over. I go, fuck them. Pull over. What is this is a zoo?

This ain't no fucking zoo. We're not pulling over nowhere. Yeah, no way. I love that. I love that. How you've been? I've been good, brother. I've been good.

You know, getting ready for the movie to come out. I've been doing all this sort of press, which is like so incredible and so weird and like talking about myself a ton. It's such an interesting fucking experience. It's like, I don't know. I feel like, you know, like I'm just a normal guy. So it's so weird to like, you know, have all, just answering all these questions. questions about me and my life.

It's been tough and fun and hard and scary and exciting and all that stuff. Good. How does it feel to be less than a month away from being one of the best films of the year? Oh, man. I'm excited. I'm just like excited. I'm really, I'm proud of what we did, man. I'm really proud of it.

And, you know, that's the feeling I have and, like, proud for everyone to see. it and can't wait to get everyone together. It'll be like our family reunion, you know. How are you feeling with it coming out? I'm, uh, this has been a great experience for me. From the beginning all the way to now, the shooting inspired me to move back here. Yeah. Just coming back for that movie inspired me in a way to go, what the, where have I been?

What the fuck am I doing with my life, living out in LA? I'm ready for Jersey. Jersey. My daughter needs it. The set was one of the best sets I've ever worked on in my life. It was no drama. You know, none of that L.A. bullshit on the set. You could tell the big difference between shooting in New York and L.A. There's a big, big difference. Everybody was dynamite. We laughed our asses off. There were long days, you know, but they didn't feel long. Like, I've worked on movies before where you're like, this sucks. Yeah.

This was coming home at 6 feeling like you just came back from an orgy. You know, you just like I leave there going, holy fuck, that was great today. Yeah. Oh, yeah. David's directing and, you know, what you learn from him and just everybody. Everybody, it was just a phenomenal experience. And I saw the movie. And when I went to see the movie, I had expectations.

so I don't know what the words I'm looking for are. And I was blown away. I was really blown the fuck away to the point that I sat there for like five minutes going what the fuck that I just see. And I think the biggest takeaway I got from the movie was how good you were, how good you came through,

how great your arc was, your arc, you got to remember, I only did one scene with you. We never saw each other. I know. You were always off duty when I'd see you. That was shit around or whatever. So we were never together except for that scene.

And that was John's scene. So we had nothing to do in there. So I never really got to see you until I went to the movie. And I was like, on the drive home, I was like, that motherfucker better be ready for what's coming his way after this. Oh, man. I really, I really, really appreciate that, you know, especially coming from. from you and it's a testament to you guys. I leaned on every one of you.

And like you said, like we didn't have a lot of scenes together, but all of us who were a part of it, like David, David is such an incredible artist, not only in his writing, but like in his casting. I mean,

he created a family and I got to lean on you guys and that's what I did. I just leaned on you guys and learned from you guys. Like you said, like you said, like, you know, People sometimes ask, like, was it super intense? Was it hard? And like you say, of course it was hard and intense, but it was a fucking blast.

Like, it was so fun. We laughed our asses off, you know? I mean, we were doing 14, 15, 16 hour days, but on days that I had off, not every day, but on a lot of days I had off, I'd come to set. I just wanted to watch. Like, I wasn't going to not watch you guys and get to watch these incredible actors and people work. Like, I love just being on set.

It was the best, you know? It was the best. I really learned a lot from David. Like, I was a big fan of the show, but I liked the humor of the show. Like, I have always said the, when they do the intervention with Christopher, that is some of the funniest fucking things I have ever seen.

And I'm a Pink Floyd, I'm a Pink Floyd, Pink Panther guy. I'm a pink panther guy. I love the pink panther. And that's what that reminded me of. When Polly goes to the psychic and he throws the chair. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

There's just so many fucking scenes that are hilarious, that you really laugh. And I remember it was my first day on the set. And we had to do a scene. And I was doing the comic thing. trying to improvise. And I remember somebody came over and they went, don't do it. Just sit and learn.

And I remember doing it exactly how they wanted me to. Yeah. And all of a sudden, I was in the Twilight Zone. I was in the soprano episode. Yeah. Because David is the king of silence. Yeah. He's the king of making silence.

Like when you're a stand-up comic, you come from a school, Michael, that you tell a joke. And it should vibrate. And then it comes back to you. But let the joke sit. Don't step on it. And a lot of comics, including myself, you know, you're on a roll.

So you just keep hitting them with fucking left, you know, with hard right hands. It's great once in a while to hit somebody with a right hand. That was your intro to this life. That was my intro. Could I tell you something about brutal honesty? And this is the God's honest truth.

And I was ever listening to this. when I was in the room with the casting director and I wish they still have that tape. I won't say everything I said right now but I'll say some of what I said. She said when you're done with those sides, tell me who you are. And on God, I looked in the camera

and I said my name is cat. And I was always brutally honest like you. And that is a loaded question. Tell me who you are. Even on regular nine to five job interviews, the worst question they could ask me, because that's how I didn't get the job in that world. Tell me who you are.

And I said, my name is Catherine Naducci. And my whole life I knew I was supposed to be an actress. And everywhere and every job I ever had, I would look out the window in daydream that I was supposed to be an actress and I wasn't supposed to be there, that I was supposed to be right here. And my father was murdered when I was 10, shot down. My mother suffered from mental nervous breakdowns. My whole childhood.

I come from a very dysfunctional childhood. My sister, my dad, my dad, my fat, I spilled out all my family dirty laundry. And then I just went, oh my God, could I do it all where? She went, no, thank you. And I went, I'm not going to get the fucking job. I just blew the job. I knew I did a great audition, but I just blew the fucking job. And when I got that job, De Niro said to me the first day of work,

you know why you got this? And I say, why? It goes, because you told the truth in your audition. Stay with that honesty. Stay with that. That's how you got to act. Just be really honest. That's what acting is.

It's honesty. That is one of the best fucking stories I've heard in the entertainment business and 23 fucking. That is great. That is tremendous. And you took the ball and ran from there. It's never stopped. Well, it's always been a struggle. I mean, I'm a working class actress.

I mean, I'm no A-lister. I'm a working. You know, I work a lot. Sometimes I don't work. Sometimes I work. But no matter what, you know, I always say this to me when they go, you know, even when I taught, I taught like a couple semesters at school of visual arts, I say, if you're not willing to just work the rest of your life, if I told you, you would work the rest of your life in a

broken down theater, nobody will even see you. but you can act in that theater. You can do all the plays. You can do shit. You can do that. The rest of your life, you're an actor, but that's where you'll do it. Will you still want to be an actor?

And if they say yes, then I say, then do it. Because you'll never be miserable when you're not working. You'll never be miserable when you got told no. You'll never be miserable when you don't work for long periods of time. Because you're just fucking happy being who you are and what you were meant to be. So when I had dry spells,

of course I wanted to work because I needed to pay my bills. But I never said all this fucking business oh fuck this, fuck that. I was never not happy for my friends that worked all the time. All my friends worked all the time. And I was always still happy for them.

And I was happy for them because I said, I want to be around working actors. I don't want to be around a bunch of non-working actors. Although I was around a lot of of non-working actors. I like being around working actors. It teaches me and it gives me hope. I want you to get it, even if I don't get it.

Because then you are my inspiration. If she got it, I can get it. That's how I always took it when somebody else got my job. That's how I look at it. That's how I look at it. That's how I look at things. Everything about it is positive because I just want to be an actor. I don't want to be famous.

I just want to be an actor and I want to be able to pay my bills. and I am successful. You are. That's a great attitude to have. And you haven't stopped since. I remember after the Sopranos ended, I saw you at an audition for something. To play a cop or something.

Oh! I think it was CSI, New York. I think we auditioned. I think so. I think it was the, yes. Did we speak? No, I just said hello to you. You had on pants.

You were dressed like, a cop. And that's the only, I've been thinking about it for the last couple days what auditions I went in that time. And I think it was CSI, New York

when it first came out. Like the original cast, like this was to shoot the pilot. So it was a long time ago, but you have not fucking stopped. How did you end up getting the Sopranos? Kathy Moriarty called me, who I love.

And to me, she's such a fucking great actress, man. Yes, she is. Kathy Moriarty called me. She goes, Nadooch. She named me Naduja. Everybody calls me Naduja. Naducio, Kitty, are my two nicknames. She goes, Naduuch, you got to go for this show, the sopranos.

And I was like, but I don't sing. She goes, no, it's not about that. She goes, you got to go in, you're right for it. Call your agent. I call my agent. He goes, all right, I'm on it. And then I got an audition. I auditioned for I di Falko's role.

and they call me back. Of course, only Edie could have done Edie's role, brilliant Edie, who I love. Edie Falco's role, and then they call me back, and I went in for Charmaine Bucco, and I got called the next day for that. They said, you know, David wants to give you Charmaine Bucco. So I was blessed.

Again, blessed. Unbelievable blessed. You did great on that show. You were great, fucking great. Thank you. Thank you. And now we're here You know what I'm saying

I'm sorry You're not going to go to the premiere I would love to see you I heard from Vinnie last night Well no you know what Wait let me tell you I think we're all I mean I'm invited to be

Many Saints of North Yes yes Premiere but I may have to go back To the show that I'm blonde for If I don't I definitely want to come And I want to see everybody

I would hope all the soprano's gone I love to see we all love seeing each other And I get to see you. Yes. No, they're all supposed to go. I heard from Vinny last night. And he said he'll see me at the premiere. I heard from a friend of Sharipas.

He's going. So, yeah, everybody's going to be there. And I'm so happy. You understand, I did The Wizard of Lies with Alessandro. Yes, yes. And I, me and Alessandro, I love him. And I love his wife and I love their family. And I just am so.

happy for him. I am so happy for Michael. I'm happy for David Chase. He's unbelievable. He don't stop. I'm just really happy about this movie. I'm happy for you. I'm just, it's so everything's a win-win.

Yes. I'm happy for Dave. I'm really happy for Michael. And I think I hate talking shit, but I think Alessandro's going to come out with an award from this fucking thing. Or at least the nomination.

Yes. When he got it. Yes. He's going to be, I think this is a good movie. I think they all did well. You saw it? Yeah. But I think it's going to be different.

In all honesty, how did you like yourself? In all honesty? Yeah. I looked away. Why? I hate looking at myself on film. You want to know, could I say something you told me about the, Not me.

You told the whole world the three things, the three things you, you know, are appreciating. Yes. Great, grateful for. I'm going to tell you something. When you watch yourself, watch it again, go on with a different perspective and love yourself and say, wow, self, you're doing pretty fucking good from a kid from fucking nothing. Look at you up there. Look at you. Look at your eyes, look at your mouth, look at your nose, your ears, your hair, look at your body.

You're up there. You're in a beautiful movie. You're so blessed. Look at you, kid. Look at you, kid. Look how good you're doing now. And look at yourself beautifully because all that put together made them hire you. And appreciate it.

Let that be one of the things. I appreciate me on a screen with all these fabulous people. I appreciate me being able. to be seen and heard. I appreciate me to be doing what I love. I appreciate it. I appreciate my face, my body. That's what got me there. I'm healthy. I see. I breathe. I taste. I hear. I have, you know, all these things, all these things that put me together, me, me, me, I appreciate you. I appreciate you, Joey. I appreciate you. And let your little inner child that was beaten up and broken down. look up at that screen and say,

we did it. That's fucking beautiful. That is as beautiful as it gets. We did it. We did it. We did it. And I don't care if it goes nowhere or you never work again. You fucking did it.

You're fucking inner child that tries to keep going, the sparkle in your eye, the honesty you have, all the things that make you did it. So we look at it again differently. I'm like you, Catherine, right here. It's all about this, right here. That's me and my mom.

She died when I was 16, and this is it right here. She wanted me to grow up and be a man. I did. That's it. What's her name? De Nora. Lenora? De Nora.

De Nora. De Nora. With a Dinaura. De Nora. He. did it. We did it. We fucking did it. De Nora and Bunny. My mother was bunny and she's up there too and Nikki, my father. But I don't care. Scrappy kids from nothing. I don't care how big or small.

We're trying. Give yourself a fucking hug. Give yourself a break. Give yourself a little pat on the shoulder. Appreciate the little moments because that's your life right there, right now, this moment. It's every single step we take. It's our life. That's it. Can't keep waiting for the big event, the big this, the big apartment. My biggest, my most happiest times is when I fucking had nothing. You know, as a kid, I was homeless a couple of times. We slept in Central Park on newspapers.

And very, you know, short period of time, like two weeks. And again, we did it for a week. And I got to tell you, we got evicted. I was still so fucking happy. Like, what the fuck is? Am I stupid? Like, I just feel you've got to. appreciate your life, the good, the bad, the ugly. It's your fucking life. And then it's over.

Then it's over. And right now, it's like you're here. Appreciate it. And you're not going to be Miss Happy Go Lucky or Mr. Happy Go Lucky all day, every day and appreciate it. But try, try to just appreciate it like you looking at yourself on screen. Look again, man. Look again. Look again. do that little Joey Diaz fucking 10 year old that was going through a shit look again and go man what the fuck

you got up there we did it we did it that's it it's to be appreciated I really appreciate it now now you really gave me a different appreciation for it yes I love you

you made a mark in this world you really fucking this is one of the best podcast I've done in a long goddamn time. Oh, don't make me cry. You fucking schooled me today. I love it. I am blown away.

I had tears in my eyes. You made me think about my mom. You really fucking hit it out of the park. That was great. You are a fucking star. I appreciate you with all my fucking heart. You know, I would watch you and go, wow, she's bringing something different to the table,

and now I know what it is you're bringing to the table. you got a lot of heart man you got a lot of fucking heart Harlem filled your heart with fucking balls and toughness you're the real deal Narduch homage to Kathy Moriardi

I love her too I haven't seen her in years she still have the pizza place you know I don't know I'm not clear I spoke to her about maybe three weeks ago I didn't I forgot what she said.

I think I arrested, but I forgot what she said. I forgot. Yeah, they opened up a new one by my house before I moved from L.A. They had opened up a new pizza place by my house. I'd gone to it once. It was good, you know. It was their pizza, good people. Mulberry and Street pizza?

Yeah. Yeah, they opened one in Studio City before I left. So it was great. How long was you? podcast. Are we going too long? No, that's it. We're done. Oh, okay. Is not filming anymore? No, we're filming.

We're going to end right now. I love you to death. I'm happy you came on today. It was tremendous. They're going to fucking love you. Let these savages know where they could find you. Do you have any social media, anything? Yes, I just started following you, Coco. And that's my niece's name, shout out to Coco. They could find me. I don't know.

I guess on Instagram, Twitter Catherine, Kathleen Naducci That's it really I don't have anything fancy I have Instagram No website No

Okay I love you Narduch You should start one of these podcasts Narducci You're very good at this No I like I know

You fucking just blew me away today So you're very good at this I don't get blown away too much You have some deep knowledge So I love you to death. You have a new fan, a bigger fan. I was a fan already. Now I'm a bigger fucking fan

because I got to look at your heart and what you're about. So thank you very much for coming on today. And let's stay in touch, okay? I'm going to call you every week and be in touch with you. And these guys know I keep in touch with people. I don't fuck around. When I love you, I love you to death.

So I appreciate you taking the time to come on today, Kat.