The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #182 - Joey Diaz, Mike Pyle and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: June 2, 2014

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt are joined by UFC fighter Mike Pyle. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Hulu Plus. Visit Huluplus.com/joey for an extended free trial. Dollar Shave Club. Use promo code CHURCH and get high quality razors sent to your door. Escapepodtank.com Mention Joey or the Church and get $250 off. Recorded on 06/02/2014.

This show is sponsored by Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus lets you binge on thousands of hit shows anytime anywhere on your TV, PC, smartphone, or tablet. Support this podcast and get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus. When you go to Huluplus.com slash Joey, that's Huluplus.com slash Joey. And by dollar shaveclub.com. Get high-quality raisers sent to your door every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail. Now go to dollarshaveclub.com slash church. That's dollar shaveclub.com slash church.

Or just go to Jodyez.net and click on the dollar shave club. Banner. And also, go to escapodtank.com for all of the sensory deprivation tank needs. They have a bunch of models for you. Some of them, all of them will save you thousands. If you mentioned Joey Diaz, the church of what's happening now, you're going to save an additional $250 off. Who's that motherfucking Chebichoo League? Stop. It's coming. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Crank it, crank it. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Kill that motherfucker. Monday June 2nd eat that motherfucker Lee there you go what it's Monday you got a second chance you can start whatever the fuck you want let's make this happen today Lee oh it's hard out there for a fucking pimp without instruction you're slinging dick today Lee it's June 2nd the day the devil was buried in sea gang raped Lid on fire, and then shot in Santa Barbara.

Who gives a fuck about the devil? What? H-H! Kick it, Lee. You're not wiggling, Lee. What's the problem? All right. What's your little arm?

You're like a fucking dinosaur. What's the thing? Now you're better. How should I wiggle? Give me a little wiggle. A little bounce, dog. What? What?

You know, it's hard on here for a pen. What? Lee, huh? You're doing it. buddy. In California, wake up. You're in New York, wake up, you're in Australia, wake up, grab your fucking nuts and give thanks. You're back! Some people are laying in a fucking hospital, some people are sick, and there you are with two legs, thinking it's going to be a bad day. Get the fuck up, you fucking mutt. It's a beautiful

fucking day to be alive. It's sunny. It's raining. Whatever the fuck is going down, you're alive, bitch. What's happening, my little Jewish brother? You bad motherfucker, you. What are you going to do? You know me, dog. It's a simple. Monday, June 2nd. I'm ready to stab a motherfucker. There's so much to tell. What do we start today?

We can start with the live podcast, which was sensational. Ari Shafia, always bringing it, taking it to the hoop. I had to get up because he was taking a long distance call from China. Who speaks to Chinese people on a Wednesday night? Thursday, San Diego, fucking phenomenon. I'm out of driving shapely. I'm definitely out of driving. You're not out of driving shape.

Listen, man, you know, for years, I drove a lot. I drove to all these gigs. Now you fly in your wind, in your car, you fucking don't have it no more. I bought that car in January. I got 3,000 miles. I used to put 3,000 miles a week on a fucking car league. Jesus. You know, a week, you know.

I'm exaggerating, but you know what I'm saying? Okay, but I feel like you're not telling the whole story. What fucking story? We got high and we drove down there. You said get there at like 3.45, 4 o'clock, somewhere around there. We get there, and we start running errands. I'm like, where is he going? He's going to the ATM?

Okay, maybe he wants to. tip the bartender. And I'm like, oh, I said, no. We're going to the weed store. Went to the weed store, which a lot of them are closing around the area. Yeah. So you got to stock up? Yeah, you got to stock up.

But I've been going to that list. No organic has been one of my favorites since day one. I've had some great weed stores. I had the one in Hollywood, Cushmart, with my main man. Me and Ralph used to go up there and get the Mats O.G. And then I moved to the Valley. I can't drive to fucking Hollywood every day. So I got the Vine Wellness.

I had the other NoHo one on Lancashim, that moved. But Divine Wellness closed down. Divine Wellness had some great edibles. But No Organic has always been in the run. And I like Tony. I like the whole staff. They're a Mexican chick. The little Mexican kid.

I like the owner Jay. I mean, they're just good people. If you go to their place, they got all the name brands we talk about. You know, they got Auntie Dolores, they got Chiba Choo. They've got the other new ones. The only ones they don't have is the... The chocolate bars I get. Bang?

No, no, no. The other ones, a curb, whatever the fuck they are. Oh. But what do you call that? The strongest edible at no organic is these fucking 200 milligram cookies. And how much? They're ugly as shit. How much do you tell me they were?

Don't worry about what I told you. He gave it to me like, it's 10 milligrams. Listen, these fucking things are like, you go to like a bakery and they have that big Chinese cookie or the big cookie with the chocolate chip and the black and white cookie. The black and white cookie. It's like that. It's a big fucking cookie. So you break that motherfucker in half. I'll tell you what.

You will see stars. I guarantee you you will see stars. Now, they have one of the top shelf that's 200, and they have one in the bottom, and the middle shelf that they're 100. But on the second shelf, they always have fudge squares. Okay, on the third square, they have sodas.

They have T.HC sodas, and they have anti-Dloris in the mix. Let me tell you something. I love anti-Dolores. I love Chibotu. We've discussed them. Nothing will rock your world like this 200 milligram cookie. Nothing.

Lee, has anything rocked your world that hard? The only thing that got close was when I had the one and a half green hornets. But this was one thing. And the thing that got me was it took a while to get down there. And you started getting high because then after you took the half, like 30 minutes later, you're just down to whole Cheapuch. Oh, I just ate a Cheeba Chibbichoo on top, but like a fucking soldier was sitting in traffic. Yeah, but that's the thing.

I forget who it was. I think maybe it was Rick, but we were talking about how when you were driving, you don't really sit, you can't really sit still. You would start opening the windows a little bit, do the AC a little bit,

but then you started getting high. So we were talking about 90 down the highway with all four windows down. Wide open. The AC going 1,000, and I'm freezing, but I can't look. And then we stopped in the snacks,

so we thought we were close. Because for whatever reason, we stopped looking up with the GPS, we went off by what the promoter said. What's her name? Monique. Monique, she's very nice. But you got mince.

And you ate like a quarter of the pack at once. I was so fucking stung. I just heard it chomping and I couldn't look at you. We were so fucking stormed by that point. And the Chee-Bichu was kicking in. So now we got to drive. But now it's no more interstate freeway. It's winds and valleys.

Like, what do you call those winding roads? Yeah, we're on the Indian Reservation. It was an Indian reservation with one road road road. going that way and one coming this way. It's a two-laner. It's a two-roader, as my friend, Fernie Basasuto. Yeah, it felt like East Coast. Yeah, it did feel like the East Coast.

We're driving, and I'm getting sicker and sick. I get fucking car sick by reputation. You know, since I was a kid, I got fucking car sick. So now I'm getting car sick, and I got to pull over with 20 minutes. And we made a left. I made a left somewhere that took us up this fucking hill of debt. And I'm like, Lee, I don't see no lights. It kept getting darker.

The GPS wasn't working. or let me he was telling him to go fuck himself. We finally called it back. She goes, turn around. We made a U-turner. And that one. Before I made that, you-turned, I had to pull over. Yeah. That was horrid.

And then I looked at, this was the weird thing I didn't tell Lee. So I'm getting anxiety. I'm sweating profusiously. I'm getting sick. I get out of the fucking car. I closed the door. Yeah, what happened? I'm just breathing.

I looked to the side of the road and somebody died there. They got flowers there and shit. Oh, no. And Indian arrows and shit. So now, I'm just. I got to sit there and go, and that's why I looked there. I go, we're going to die. No.

Nobody tell you, we're going to die. I thought you got out of the car to call Monique. I thought you got out of the car to do that. No, I got a car to get fucking air. I didn't want to call. We're going to call them, Moni. I could have called her in the car right direct without even picking up the fucking phone. Oh, my God.

I pulled over to breathe and get my head right and fucking. Oh, and then we went to the one side of the casino that didn't have valet. And I was like, this is never going to end. Oh. And then. We shot there and we had to get around. But I had to do like to eight. By that point, I was doing eight miles an hour

because I couldn't even drive no more, guys. That's how car sick I was. I couldn't even fucking drive anymore. I was getting so goddamn car sick. So I pulled over to valet can. We walked in, the air conditioner helped. We drank. So even in that little green room, I was about to puke.

Yeah. Remember I said to you, give me the garbage can? Remember I said, and it had no fucking garbage lining in it. And I'm like, I'm going to puke in a no fucking garbage line. And then did you see the guy who came in, moved it? I was like, don't move that, but it was too high to tell him. Oh, my God. But then, about 10 minutes before I got on stage with the water and just standing up.

Well, we went in the room for that long. I felt like we were in the room for like six minutes, and then you went on stage for an hour. Like, how was he doing it? And then I tried to wait in the green room for as long as possible, because when you left, you were right on stage, and I didn't want to, like, the people were crazy. They started cheering when we got there. There was some crazy people. So I didn't want to.

Just to drive down that fucking road, you got to be crazy. Oh, yeah. I wanted to get, I wanted your show to, like, be going on for as long as possible before I tried to sneak out. And it didn't really work. But then luckily they brought the chicken. And you kept doing, like, five-minute checkup. Somebody, like, Lee, has a chicken. You're doing okay?

Lee, I was so fucked up on stage. I was just like, I don't know how we made it home. But I know we made it home in two hours. Oh, yeah. I was, on the way home, I was doing okay. And I introduced you to a Puerto Rican Italian sandwich at 7-Eleven. Yeah, that was actually pretty good. told you, but this is what you do with the 7-11 Italian sandwich.

Yeah, you were telling you. We live in California before you start fucking judging. So for you people going, Joey, you didn't just say that. Yes, I did fucking say that. Because where do you get an Italian sandwich around here? I mean, a real Italian sandwich like you grew up with on the East Coast. You don't. So what you got to do is dope them up.

That's what I live off. Dope shit up sometimes. Pizza I'm done with. So you got to dope it up. So you got to get Mama Celeste and dope it up. I got to go to one place and to hunger. get the pie, bring it home, re-dope it up and put it back on the fucking level.

It's brilliant. I've done it a couple times. It's delicious. I'll make your fucking slice that... What do you put on it? Mozarelle. I put fucking some peppers on it. I put some real...

You know, you just re-dope it up. You put some olive oil on the fucking crust, crust again. Oh. These savages don't fucking know. These Gentiles don't know how to fucking cook. You go to an Italian sandwich here. It tastes like shit. It tastes like shit.

An Italian sandwich is ham. Capacool. whatever the fuck, prosciutto or some shit, maybe some mortadella, some provolone, some motherfucking lettuce, some peppercini, some sweet peppers, vinegar, vinegar, salt and pepper, and fucking oregano.

That's an Italian sandwich, or I hope that's as closest as I know. Ham, salami, genoa, you know, ham, genoa, mortadale. I don't even think the prosciutto's in there. I don't even think the brajudo, you don't need it. The capacool do great with the fucking prosa.

whatever, you know? Listen, anyway, Steno 11 got a sandwich like a pepperoni, salami, provolone cheese, and the bread ain't bad. What you do is you take that motherfucker home. You re-bake it like an old-school Stewart sandwiches. If you remember Stewart sandwiches, that means your old school, and you were an old-school fucking Cokehead. You went into a bar, and they had like this little oven, and you tell them what you want, and they took a sandwich out, and it was in a baggie, and they put it in the oven with a baggie, and it was like popcorn to where it is today. It would go, pop! And then they would open the bag and the steam would come out and your sandwich wasn't that bad Me and my fucking guerrilla buddies ate a thousand of those of Joe Marys and bars all over the East Coast

From the Bronx to fucking Connecticut when I used to go up there and do highlight Stewart sandwiches were all over the East Coast That's why I got the idea from you take that fucking sandwich home You put it in the oven you re-bake it a little bit get the hard the bread to get hard and crispy burn that motherfucker It comes out you shave some lettuce Shave it not just put like fucking Adam's leaf. You shaved some lettuce.

You put some vinegar on that motherfucker or some peppercinis. Yeah, you were telling me to do this at 2 a.m. in a 7-11 parking lot. I'm like, I can't. I'm not going to do any of that right now. Remember the two guys that came up to me and said, you look at the guy from the longest shot.

I'm like, nah. I hear that all the time. Yeah, walked away. And there was a black guy in the car. What did he say that? He's like, I know who you are. You're Joey Diaz. And put the two fucking dudes.

I hear me. And you're like, you like, you got it. He's like, I'll know those dudes. He said something at the end. He's like, I'll let those dudes not know or something. A fucking crazy. Now, we had a good night. That was a good fucking night.

I had a very peaceful weekend. I tell you what I did this weekend. I pulled the league. What do you? I didn't watch sports, though. I caught up on some movies. Nice. And you feel relaxed, right?

You feel nice? Yeah. Listen, man, I learned a big, when I used to work at the comedy store a lot, Paul Mooney was there a lot. And I asked Paul, when you're looking at right comedy, what do you do when you're stuck? And he goes, go get entertained.

And I got entertained. The only, I watched it. 21 grams. Okay. An old movie. I watched two movies back to back, which is very rare for me.

I sat there and watched 21 grams and whatever it was on before that, which is very good. And I watched Captain Phillips again. Oh, yeah. You were so excited when you were watching that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The fucking four days in the raft

with fucking four black dudes when they came out there. Are you okay? Am I okay? I've been in a fucking dinghy with four fucking Somalians and no water and no soap. What do you think I fucking felt?

He was great, Tom Hanks and that. I was eating it. And I watched, what else? I just hung out with the family. I worked out. I went to Friday night, Jiu-Jitsu, you know, and I had a good time. I got beat up.

Saturday, I did nothing, just a family thing, and watched a little bit of UFC, but didn't really get caught up in it. And then Sunday I did the same. Yesterday, I really didn't do shit. Yeah. And I felt really bad about it. I couldn't shake something.

Like, they weren't feeling. I wasn't feeling good. I wasn't feeling good. The best thing I did, yes, I did that podcast with Steve Simone. Oh, yeah. I had a really good time with Steve Simone. We taped it over there at Marie ETC. We met at 9 in the morning.

There was not a fucking soul there. And we just sat there and talked shit. A lot of noise, a lot of background noise, though. A little bit, Lee. The mics don't really catch it until you're fine. But besides that, that was it. It's really, you know, I'm back in Salt Lake City this week, and the week after that I'm in the long run.

So I didn't really fucking want to do much, Lee. It just really wasn't into going crazy this week. I don't know why, you know. No, I mean, I agree. And I have to actually thank you. We didn't, I think, you told me, oh, it was on the way down to San Diego, you told me. What's that? What I ended up doing for Paula?

Well, we were talking. I was thinking about how, you know, Paula goes to law school. But you brought it up out of nowhere. Like, the way I remember, it was we were just sitting there, and then you were just, like, when does Paula start her job? So you were thinking about yourself? Yeah, you know. Listen, man. of what's happening now is basically,

I got a whole shit to tell you. The church of what's happening now is basically about your growth. That's what it's become, how people see you've grown. If you listen to episode two. Oh, God, I don't even want to. You wouldn't even take a fart to the face

in episode 100. Now you're at least, fuck, I'll take it. And it's also about making somebody's day. You know, I don't want this to be, I don't ever want to be put on the pressure that this has to be fucking funny. Because if that's the impression, you're not going to be fucking funny

every goddamn day. But that's all I could give you. I could give you making your day at one point of the fucking podcast with an idea or something

and watching Lee's growth. I'm a broke old man. I got nothing going on. And that's what the show's about. Me and Lee were driving to San Diego. We're fucking stone this shit. We blast music.

We heard every genre fucking. Lee knows. I love... But it was so weird. I know we're getting off the track a little bit, but you don't listen to the music

I think you would. Like you listen rock but you're into like more of ballads like you know you kind of skipped over the hard stuff and you like it really really sing like I was kind of stuff I was like I was expecting more hard stuff and you were

like the ones that they would get into and sing I was like oh this is what he likes yeah I didn't like that I don't like that heavy heavy shit kill your uncle all that fucking music I really don't I like a lot of you know Tom Petty was great on the red down we listened to she's a woman

in love yeah just these songs that you don't put on by yourself. Sometimes the radio reminds you how good music is. I'm very happy I have serious radio and I'm very happy I have Ozzy's Boneyard and I get to listen to Jim Florentine and we listen to Norton on the way down that that night and the best fucking station on there is this hip-hop station where they're just

runaway yams. That's all I can call them. They're not even black people anymore. They're not even black. They started out being black. They passed a fucking on one stage. Now they're just hardcore gangster yams and I love it. I put it on when I'm in the wife and the car with my wife. I put it on when I'm the car with myself. I don't know what this station is.

It's five or six stations after Ozzy's Bone Yard that way and it's old school. It's not even old school hip hop. It's just I don't even know what it is. They had Fat Joe on there one day. I was fucking dying. Listen to what they were saying. If you're easily offended, do not listen to this station. It's just black

guys fucking dropping it. Dropping it. She's a whole, fuck that bitch. It was the Weeks of Lounge, hit Jay-Z. I never heard nothing like that. I thought my podcast, our podcast was bad. Nothing. They were calling her a fucking everything, that

dirty bitch. No career having motherfucker. I mean, just horrid things. But anyway, I love that. I love all that shit. Yeah. You know, Lee, I listen to everything. I got the chances we're going to called you. You don't want to pay the extra $7. I watched something I never thought I'd watch.

I watched the HBO Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Inductions. I didn't watch all of it. I watched bits and pieces of it. But I turned it on as Bruce Springsteen was on. Okay. With the East Street band. He was inducting the East Street band. And it made me fall in love with Bruce Springsteen. Why? It was beautiful. He just fucking dropped it. And then I saw the Nirvana lot. They inducted

Nirvana. God damn. They were anything yet? No. The guy from R.E.M. brought them up and defined lightning in a bottle. And then I saw Dave Grohl speech. Holy fuck. But one thing, Dave Grohl, Nirvana, Bruce Springsteen, especially, was their love of music. They knew all. Let me tell you some kid rock is a fucking knucklehead.

but you ain't going to beat, quit Kid Rock on Jeopardy about music. He knows everything. When they get to that level of musician, you've listened to everything. You've picked up a little something from everything. You know, it's really weird that it was the first time I picked up a heavy-duty correlation. You know, people might think Joey's funny or people might not think I'm funny. Either way, it doesn't matter, but you see who your influences are.

And with me, it wasn't as much as the big-time comedians as the people I hung around with. And there's got to be, I have maybe 10 people I hung around with that influenced me and nobody will ever know what here of. And then I mix it in with dice clay and Rodney and Bill Hicks and a little bit of Kennison and I become something. You know, when you're a musician, that's the same fucking thing. It's the same fucking thing. You know, you go to work. My wife said that the reason why she really quit her job this year Wasn't because of the baby and wasn't because she wanted to help me with the t-shirts

It was because they gave her a 1.7% raise of the job The girl that she worked with got like a 1.2 But my wife does accounting and she realized that all the people in these other divisions that the divisions were weaker were getting 12% percentage raises and all this shit That's what really hurt my wife and man my wife don't yell But when I see her yell in the kitchen with the baby in the room, I know there's a problem. And when she was breaking this down to me last week, I realized what happens to us when we become art.

I hate saying that word. When one day we say, you know what, fuck society. Fuck society. You're not fucking me anymore. I'm putting my life and I'm getting up early. I don't steal from you. I don't even take an extra sugar, one of my fucking coffee. I get there at fucking a half hour early and I leave.

half hour later and you give me 1.7% raise, but the fucking guy who comes in late and is drinking all the time and whatever, he gets 12% whatever. That's what happens to people one day. It's amazing how quick. For some people, it happens when you're 19, like it happened for me, and for some people it happens when you're 40. But it's never too late. That's when you go, you know what?

I've been putting all this effort to somebody else. It's shit. Fuck it. I'm going to do this for myself now. And I'm going to do this. And this is what I'm going to make my own hours. and I don't want to ever work full time again. I don't, that's where you get your strength.

I saw my wife snap you this week. Oh, it happens. And for me, I've told you my parents are, they weren't never against it, but they were always nervous for me. My mom finally got on board yesterday. She called me, because I'm moving, we're talking. And she's like, so do you think,

because the shows are starting right around now? She's like, so are you thinking about getting a new job? I was like, no, not real. I'm making less, but I'm figuring it out and I'm making enough money to survive. She said, congratulations. She, like, was, because I see what she's going through now, like, towards the end of her career. And it's just the fuck of the shit they put her through.

And it's, uh, I'm, I was talking to Paula. I'm so much, I'm making less money, but I'm so much happier. Like, not going over the 405 every day, twice a day. Oh, Jesus Christ. So it's just, it's scary, but people, people start getting, like, understanding what you're talking about. And it's, and the worst part is, is it's not. not the other people who get a bigger raise, but it's like, the boss who doesn't come in until 12 and leaves early. And he talked, you see in the newsletter that he got a 20% bonus because corporate was happy.

It's like that's the stuff that really pissed me off. And it's like you guys are doing all the hard work and somebody else has the smile. And I tell people all the time with me, I was 19. And I was like, why am I doing this? I could be doing this I used to get furious I'm doing this for 10 bucks an hour I can make 10 bucks an hour

with one drug deal or kicking one window in but that's not what I really wanted to do I just wanted to fucking do something that I could work for myself and that's why I think I basically got into comedy I mean that's basic that was the easiest business I could enter

without having a ukulele or a fucking guitar or a piano or a monkey you know that was the easiest fucking thing I could get into But I see it's a weird day when that happens to you. Like for me, the day it snapped as the day I couldn't make my credit card payment. Like I thought my credit card would be ruined. Like I was raised on paying your bills.

I thought my credit will be ruined. I was shot as an American a day. I couldn't make my fucking credit card payment. You know, I was shocked as an American today that I realized what life was after college. I realized that the day you graduate college, you're done. You're done. You're done. you have a realization.

You go into these firms. You know, here you've got your college. You're paying back your loans. And one day while you're writing that check to pay back your loans, you go, wow, this is basically it. Yeah. This is it. You're going to be paying them back forever regardless. Yeah, you're like, this is it.

I'm going to, in 10 years, I'm going to be the guy that's ahead of me. And then one day when I'm 65, I retire and they give me a gold fucking watch. And on the weekends, I mow the lawn and I take the kids to fucking church. and I go to Denny's and eat. That's it. This is it. This is all I'm going to do. Some people say, yeah, this is what I'm going to do. And some people say, fuck it. I'm going to figure something else out.

I want to go to Ireland. I want to go to Thailand and get my dick lick. I want to paint house. You know, whatever. It's so weird how your inside comes out and overwhelms your beliefs. That's what it basically comes down to. And you have to commit. You have to fucking put everything you can. I don't work 40 hours a week. I work 80 hours a week.

I talked to my brother Mike Runny yesterday. called the podcast. He just got a new job. He's 52. He's working 70 hours a week. He worked 19 hours on Friday as a general manager of a store. He's on salary. Yeah, he's making, you know, 80, 90 grand a year, but on a fucking Friday, he's got to put in 19 fucking hours at 52. Jesus. You know, can you imagine doing construction work at 52? My buddy, Timmy, who drives a truck, I hope he's out of the hospital. I know he was home resting. He put the wrong pat on his back. He tells me He has to break down pallets every day and shit like that. You know, you fed your family.

They put us into a bad position, so now we have to do something. We don't want to do it. And we realize why we're not fucking happy. Yeah. And I want to be an advocate for this. And I never did it because I always felt like you should have a job. If you're, if it, for people who are my age, 25, let's see you work right out of college for a few years. Take unemployment for a little bit if you're unhappy.

that you pay into it every week. Look at your check. You pay into it, and I never took it. And it saved me at the beginning of this. Now I'm doing okay, but it saved me at the beginning of this. It's just sitting there. You're going to pay taxes into it, and you pay taxes for what they give you.

So if you worked for, I worked for like four years or so, three years, and I think I have a year of benefits, something like that. So fucking use it. I mean, you're paying taxes into it. You know, I was such a jerk off. When I was younger, when I got fired from the mass back century, when I was going to high school and I got sick and they fired me, I collected unemployment.

Because I got fired, they told me. But then afterward, I always thought that, why would I collect unemployment if I could go out and steal? There's an American that could use it seriously. Maybe he's got a disability that he can't get a job. I really thought this way. And I never touched again. It was Ari Shafir five years ago,

who said to me, you don't collect unemployment. I'm like, no, he goes, all the movies you do, you don't collect an unemployment. employment, you're like, go get your money, you know. Whenever you shoot a commercial, the next day you're eligible for unemployment. Like the fucking next day, you've got to call in and go, hey, guess what? Yeah. I'm ready for you.

So that's who got me on. And I collected it for years with no shame. And you're right. It is your fucking money, you know? Right. And it loosens you up a little bit. It gives you a time to think and strategize. Because if they're going to tax you 30%.

Because they tax people like us, 30%. The people who can do millions of dollars, like Mitt Romney, who paid 17, If they're going to tax us 30%, I'm going to take the part that they say I can take. So it's just, yeah, I mean, people don't do it. And it's, it's, I, that could be your start for a new thing.

It was for me. You know, it's funny how all this came about into diving into what you're going to do. When you dive into your belief, you have to dive into your belief, you know. If you're going to be a musician, you know, I'm listening to, to fucking Dave Groh.

I think that's his name, the drummer. from Nirvana and now he's got the food fighters. I know it's grow, but he was talking about sitting in the back of a van eating day-old pizza fucking listening to Little Richard and something like that. You never think that the guy from Nirvana will listen to Little Richard. But you have to, you have to understand it. You show me a musician or comic that doesn't know the history of this fucking thing or hasn't.

Have you ever had a conversation with Mike Tyson? No. No. Neither have I. But have you ever. Have you ever seen him get interviewed? No. He knows everything about boxing.

He'll talk to you about boxes in the 40s, boxes in the 30s. He'll go back to bad knuckle boxing. He'll go back to the history of fucking two cavemen, you know, choking each other. He knows everything about it. And that's what I don't understand. Like, when you dive yourself into yourself,

and you dive yourself into what you believe in, whether it's boxing, personal training, comedy, drawing, whatever, You have to know everything about anything. And when I heard Bruce Springsteen speech, it was fucking beautiful. Especially when you talked about Clarence Clemens and the guy from the Sopranos, you know, I don't know what the guy that played, the fucking concierie, whatever his name was.

You know, I wasn't never a big Bruce Springsteen fan. I don't know much about him. You know, when I was growing up in Jersey, I got beat up with him. So it kind of got, it was a turnoff. And I liked a few songs on some of the albums, but as I grew older, I appreciated them. The other night it came full fucking circle. I really dug it because I understood his struggle. I understood his struggle as a man and to get somewhere and then you reach it.

You know, it's not just, once you fucking make it as a musician, that's really it's hard because now you've got to follow up all that shit. Yeah, he said, him and that guitar player knew each other for 50 fucking years. Him and that one Miami, Steve Van Zant, whatever his fucking name is, you know. And it's amazing how this is what I do. This is what I do. I have to be really good at all the facets of it. In two weeks, I'm going to be on Marin.

I acted on that. When we come through the podcast, I have to be good at doing the podcast. On Thursday nights when I get on stage, and I can't be good every night at this shit. But I have to dive myself into this. I have to dive myself into this shit. And it's amazing if you're going to... When I finally realized,

whatever came to me that happened to my wife, at 44, it came to my... wife and she was fucking yelling in the kitchen she's like why should I fucking you know it's it's amazing when it when it hit me I was very sad like I thought the American way was the American way you went to college you got a job you joined the country club you hit golf balls young out with fucking Gentiles but it sucks it sucks it's a fucking struggle and then at the end you fucking die and you count your pennies from your retirement right and you do you fucking die you might as well live a

fucking little or put that belief that you're going to put into JCPenney or whatever corporation, whatever the company you're going to put in your brother-in-law's plumbing company whatever and put it into yourself. You know, put the effort into yourself. And yeah, you're going, Joey, that's easy for you to say, you know, go, hey, listen, man, if you believe in yourself, you'll get a small

loan. If you believe on what you're selling, you'll figure it to fuck out. We all do. We just sometimes think we've got to get, oh, we're going to get an SBA loan from there. I don't know if they're giving out that many loans. You know what I'm saying? So whatever you choose.

on you gotta get a job to finance it yourself or sell a kilo blow or at least like what i when i was doing this and tv i saved i i didn't like i'm not driving around in a bmda i could have put i could have spent the money that i was making from both places but i saved like almost every penny i made from the podcast and it like if you're going to be working at least save save it so that in a year or two you could spend a little bit of time and what's funny you know i i was always never a big saver, you know, because I was like, fuck, I'm going to save money for one, please. And it's weird how you have to, you know, my wife, for example, one day we're going through shit, and my wife goes, do you see what I have saved from my job?

And I look and I couldn't fucking believe it. And I go, how am I going to take you to save that? You know, and she goes, oh, it took me six years, you know, taking a little percentage of my check every week. It's amazing. Yeah. I wish I had that fortitude. I wish I had the, and the way she says it, she goes,

I just got it's taken out of my check. I don't even see it. I don't have to touch it. Oh, yeah, I never got to that level. But, yeah, it's what you got to do. I mean, the way you talk about how you, like, you were rob a gas station, have three grand and have been gone in four days. It freaks me how I can't.

I've never even really thought about it because I can't imagine that you didn't put, like, a thousand away. It is. That's part of the fucking thrill. That was part of the high. The high was in three days. I would go to the front desk of the hotel where I was staying, pay for five days, and go, fuck it.

Friday at 12 o'clock is D-Day. You know what? Fuck it. Let's do Saturday at 12 o'clock. It's D-Day. I got to figure it out by Saturday. And it would force me to be a savage. I could not lay my morning.

You know, it's funny. I was telling my wife last night about George. George is starting a framing business with his sister. My friend George. And I said, you know, Terry, when people pay me cash sometimes, I take the top 100 off and I save it. Okay. Right, and I save it.

And then every couple weeks, I put it away in the bank. And it doesn't even go on my account. And the funny thing is, like my wife, I put away a couple hundred in there in the last two years. and my buddy George is is opening up a framing company with his sister and I seen what he's been doing lately George really had to pick it up

George divorced his wife he has a different girlfriend he lives in grandma's apartment and she gets a low rent so he picks up the rent and he lives there well that was all going away pretty soon so I told him I go George you got to pick it up that's it I go once you got to start paying child support

and her house payment and your rent you know you can't rent outrageously, you can't go get a two grand house because you're paying 15 under one and you still got to pay child support. So you got to figure it out. I was busting his balls for a year. I'm like, you better start looking for a part-time job. As a doorman at night, you better do something. He took my advice and he's like, you know what, I'm going to start my own business. He wholesale frames for this guy. Okay. But the guy is spreading his business off then. Okay. And George sees it coming. George already saw it coming. So he went to his sister.

His sister originally had the framing shop with the mother. When she got married, they moved away, so she couldn't help no more. So the mother sold the business in 85, and George has been freelancing since 85, not really with a home. And it really takes away from him. You know, he rent a small office like ours, and he, what he call that shit, he does the guy's wholesale work. But he's losing thousands of dollars a month. And George understands us. He has two daughters.

he was raising them. He had to drive him around. So you just take whatever you can so he could raise your children. But now the children, you know, he gets one daughter on the weekend and every other weekend, the one daughter is older. So he has more time. So he was telling me he's looking for a warehouse. So I told him my wife last night, oh, you know what? He's been getting up the last couple Friday, Sunday mornings,

and going to different farmers markets just to get his name out there. And he's doing good. Yeah. Like he was pissed yesterday. He said he only sold two. things but his sister sold like eight things you know but I go George you're getting out there and this is how people start you got to get out there and he knows he goes I don't know if it was a waste of money I paid 250 to rent the booth I go what would

your options be would you be at home watching TV or playing with your daughter you're out there the only nothing happens on the couch bro right nothing fucking has ever happened on the couch yeah you want to stick your hand in the couch and pull up 35 cents you could do that all fucking day and and smell somebody else's ass on those fucking whatever, but nothing happens on the couch, you know, get out there. And it's funny, so I told my wife, I'm going to take those couple hundred, I'm going to give it to George to start up, you know, whatever he needs, man. If I'd give him a thousand bucks to start his little business up, you know. And at that point, like that thousand is, it's like 20,000.

Like when you're first starting out, or especially when, back to what you did for, told me to do for Paula. I'm making his day because, let's face it. When I bumped into George, March of 85. This shoot what she's kicking in, sorry? Oh, please. When I bumped into Georgia, March of 85, when he was working as a landscaper, and he was raking some of these leaves in their backyard,

and I was burglarizing the joint, and I was casing the neighborhood out, and I saw him, and he opened me. Listen, man, I was two weeks. I was a month away from getting arrested. There's no two fucking ways about it, guys. And I was going to do 10 years. They were going to give me at least eight.

I had no ties to the community. I just, I was robbing those fucking gas stations. I was doing a thousand other things. The more spaghetti used to drogue, you know, when you're doing crime, I used to do crime in three-month chunks. After three months, you know something's going to go down. You can't do it for three months every day. Like, every day you've got to get up and make a living,

break into an apartment, sell nickel bags. Eventually something's going to happen. It's going to store your fucking. growth. We're going to get arrested somewhere, some little mistake. And I had already gotten arrested New York for selling like a hot jewelry. I sold hot jewelry with an ID and they came and got me. So I really knew it was around the corner. The whiff of the police were around the corner, you know? So when I bumped into George, I fucking say what you want to say. George saved my life by 10 years. You know, George gave me, he let me stay with his family for three months. I helped him out as much

I could, but I learned more in those three months. George has been my brother since I was 15. Since freshman year of high school, George Kaladinsky has been my brother. I mean, guys all in, all in. You know, when I met people from Cliffside, they'd say to me, you're friends with George. Fucker, yeah, give him a drink, front of my grandma, but whatever I needed, because I was friends of George growing up. And it's amazing that our friendship has lasted 36 fucking years.

Wow. And, you know, I just want to make his day. You know, he doesn't listen, so he will never know about this. But it's amazing. Get together, George. You should be listening. No, Troy, he listened. He used to listen from his phone, I think. I know, he called in.

Yeah, he's called in. No worries, but it's just a, he'll never know. But it's just amazing that sometimes you do have to make somebody's day. You really do, man. And it doesn't take a fucking diamond. It doesn't take a dinner at Ruth Chris. it's just a little fucking gesture, man. I'm happy you did that, Lee.

I'm happy. We didn't tell them what we... So we were driving down, and you're like, when does Paula start her job? I said tomorrow, and you're like, here's what you do. You get her a nice card. You stick, whatever $100 is.

I don't remember how you said it. A yardstick. You put it in there. And you tell her, here's this. Go get your nails done before you start the job, and you can look pretty. Something like that. I'm high now, so it's all good.

fucking sharp. You want your feet and your fingers to look fucking sharp. So I did that, but I went, I went to the, to the pharmacy to get a card. And there was one that was perfect. It was like, I believe in you, but it was a whole big long poem of like, I believe in goodness because of you. And I just started giggling. And then there was this one where this hairy caveman was like, I'm a stupid caveman. And then I find you.

And I chose that one. And I put it in there. And like, I had to go. You put a whole hundred or five-twenties? Five-20s. I didn't. Jesus Christ. I didn't have time to go get a hundred a little.

Yeah, you had an even beating. I was picking her up that next day. So I picked her and her cousin up at something. I had to go drive her cousin back. And I gave her the card once her cousin got out of the car. And she started crying just because he was so happy. And it threw me for a loop because, like, I've got her stuff that was more expensive than that. And it didn't have that effect on her.

But it was just, it made me feel good. Making somebody's fucking day, dog, with the littlest gesture, is the best thing you could do. Even calling somebody and going, yo, cocksucker, wash that helmet, hanging up on them. Because they'll call you back and go, what the fuck is that? And then they'll go to work and go, one of my friends call me this morning

and told me to fucking get up and hung up on me and shit. Just little things that you giggle at, you know? Listen, at the end of the fucking week, when you're laying in that casket and you're ready to fucking die, you're going to giggle one time. Right. You know, that motherfucker made my day. You know, lubs used to always make my day

Pick me up, give me a valium I got this joint for you, Uncle Joey, you know, whatever. Oh, my God. You know, this kid Andrew made our day when he put this little thing together. This, you know, some people, when look at this, what the, this took his time.

This is great. I love when people do little things like this. Andrew put this, him and this girlfriend made a little devil. The devil's getting a dick up the ass. The other two in the corner, they already got fucked. You know, it's little things like that that makes somebody's day sometimes. Sometimes you just call somebody and tell me 11.

Where's the fucking jam? Where's I want to be around today? It's fucking 6.45. Get up, cock, suck. It's a beautiful day to be alive. Make somebody's day, but also make your own fucking day. Grab your cocks, loot that motherfucking flag. What?

I want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart. How stone to you, Lisa, yeah? Medium. I'm about a medium. Get ready to rock. That's a triple dose.

Let's do a fake for hit. I'm okay. That's time. But somebody... Okay. So you were the highest I've ever heard you yesterday. And then you wake up at six in the morning and you want to do it again. I always like taking days.

You don't take days off? I'm like, geez. I took Friday and Saturday. You did none? Yes, I did. Oh. Thank goodness. Was Tony Bennett.

Why you depressing me? Oh, okay. Look at these fucking clouds from a vapor pen. Are you kidding me or what? Who you deal with you? Hit that motherfucker, and hold it in. You got to hold it in.

It's good for your lungs. What's that? That's a junior fucking pilot hit. What the fuck? Listen, you want to navigate that plane of loser like the Malaysians. Take a deep fucking hit. Deep, deep, deep in the lungs of debt.

Someone sent this to TMZ. Don't know if Donald Sterling will be so happy. Fuck TMZ. Fuck that. TMZ. Crime stopping and shit on people. That chick got in trouble. She said racist fucking.

I like it. I like it. You're a fucking animal. You put gel in your hair, dude today. You're smoking. Last week you got to stop. sight shirt on until they got a green light on yeah what do you got red and green shirt there's this fucking Santa Claus and July cock's up oh okay that's a nice hit

I'm probably that was a very fucking nice hit you fucked up Tony Bennett to the hell of it fucked them up you just cut them up into pieces while leaf off in the Dutch I'm gonna give some shot out so my main motherfucking first off to my main man happy birthday Jovan Axman cocksucker my My little brother, Kyle Downey, Raj Doud, Adderall, you bad motherfucker. Joey Rookland, looking good. Less than Thomas, I love you. I always see you, cocksucker, what the hairdo.

Thomas Heater, you bad motherfucker. Javier 93. What are you nuts? Or what? And Camaro, Jeff, wash that asshole. It's Monday, Cogh sucker. Because he drives the Camero? I don't fucking know.

His name is Camaro, Jeff. You got to tell him something. What if he drove, like, a Mustang? Well? You couldn't be Camaro Jeff anymore. Like, what if he just... Listen, he just looks straight at the screen. Mind your business.

What are you got to borrow the fucking people for? I don't know. I wonder enough if he drives a Camaro. I don't fucking know. I never asked him. Why don't you get him on the phone? He'll hook up Camaro with Jeff and go Camaro Jeff. Maybe he likes fucking Camaro's,

and he has a Cadillac now because he's got six fucking kids. Did you ever think of that league? I hope not. I'm going to do with this fucking youth of America. I got my main man Mike Pyle, UFC fighter. calling it at 7 a.m. I love Mike Pyle. I met him through Eddie Bravo. Yesterday I fucked up. I did not go to the Eddie Bravo invitational

last night. That was part of what made me feel very bad last night. I did not make Eddie's day yesterday. I fucked up. I thought the invitational started at 5. My plan was to leave the house. I was going to leave it like to read, try to do a Duncan podcast. I was going to do Duncan's podcast, hang out with Duncan for a little while, and then I was going to shoot to the EBI and sit there from like 5 to 6.30 and go home.

And at least eat dinner with Mercy and bathe. But the invitation on the instructor was 6.30. And that's right in the middle of fucking, you know, good morning America in my fucking house. You know, like from 5 to 7 in my house, it's fucking chaos. From 4.30, from the time we get back from the park to 8 o'clock, it's just chaos, even with one little child. Because we both eat, she eats.

You know, I do some shit. The phone rings are necessary. I mean, there's a thousand things going on. I don't know why. So it's very hard. I can't go to Jitsu at 7.30. It's very hard even for me to go at 8 o'clock at night. That's why I got to go on the daytime.

Today I can't go. I got a bunch of fucking shit going on today. I wanted to go to kettlebell class. I can't fucking go, but the knee feels a lot better. Thank you for the people who sent me emails and exercise programs. You know, one thing about the fucking church is that if you put it on Twitter, If anybody from the church needs an exercise program or a diet or a fucking personal train or anything, you know, Jeremy's around, guys, put it on Twitter just and say attention church, put some hashtag, I don't even know what a hashtag is. People sent me fucking exercises for my knee. Some fucking kid, a doctor sent me a thing I could do with a ball just to reduce the pain.

Some other people sent me Stuff I could put on it Like a lady sending me some type of brace Listen man I love you from motherfuckers But you guys got to spread out Amongst us We gotta start making money

You know We gotta start taking care of each other Not me, I'm talking about you guys As a whole You know, there's a lot of you guys That hit me up from my client I noticed a lot of people That's hit me up lately

From fucking Utah And Texas and Houston You guys got to work together in Houston Because it's amazing All the shit All the great exercise and little thing breathing every time I put that I have a problem with something on here Lee it's fucking amazing yeah it's amazing I at least get three emails from people

going to join you wrong about this try this and it really I don't argue with people I take their advice because maybe this is their fucking field and a nine other ten it is their fucking field you know what I'm saying yeah if you have something put it on this Twitter page on this what they call them a thread I don't even know because it's very interesting The things I've learned from fucking you guys. There's a Facebook fan page. What's that?

This is a Facebook page for other church? Is there? Some girl sent me a workout with a wall. Like, I think she was telling me that she does this to rehab people, but she believes that if I do this before the surgery, my knee would get strong. I swear to God, Lee, I did all three times last week. Okay. And the swelling went down to the tea.

She goes, this is what's going to happen, then elevated it, to Iceland for 15 minutes, and get back on and walk on it for six minutes. I mean, this girl sent me a fucking thing, so thank you, man. Thank you for all the love you give us. Thank you for always reaching out. Thank you for always doing all that type of shit. I got some interesting. I also got a, you get good shit and you get bad shit.

I got a very fucking interesting email like Thursday from somebody. And I got it and I didn't look at it until yesterday. This is how high I was last night. Then in the three years or four years I've been doing a podcast, it's the second time I didn't answer emails. You didn't answer emails. You didn't answer emails. No, I couldn't even look at them.

I tried. I opened them up at about six, and I could not do it. When the baby went to take a bath, I ran in there real quick just to see if I could knock off ten of them. I read one that fucking made me cry, so I closed it and fucking went out and got just sat there. That's how fucking high I was. That's how fucking high I was. It was such a touching fucking email about somebody's family that had to shut the fucking thing down and go lay down on the couch. That's how, you know, it's amazing the things that, you know,

This is why we're trying to put, I went in a look at couches this week. Okay. And I couldn't find couches that were high enough. I left Saratiana a message. I'm going to bring the table over here, and we're working on the advice show. It's just going to take a little while. I want to make the studio look right on that side. I'm going to put a perfect couch, and I want to have the perfect pictures and whatnot.

But it's amazing. You know, we always got advice couch. Somebody sent me a fucking thread this week from a webpage where they were just bashing me. Really? And it's hysterical. But it didn't bother me because they were telling the truth. They were telling their opinion the truth. You know, the other day we had a conversation here about a show I saw

that I just did not think it was funny. And how society thinks it's fucking hilarious. And these guys, it was a thread that somebody sent me. I think it was from a Dunklin Trussell web page or something. Is that what you call them? Like a board? Yeah. A board.

And they made some interesting points. I've always heard. You should write back. No. No, no, no, no. I won't write back because I don't want it to become, it's not a confrontation or something. Listen, man, I never peep. Okay. I never fucking peep, okay?

A lot of people always say, don't Google yourself. I know people Google themselves constantly and find shit. I don't want to see nothing. I don't want to hear my voice. I don't give a fuck. Yeah. But it's so weird that somebody sent me this and said, look what I found, I guess, on somebody's web page, threat or a board. Yeah.

Is that what you call? and it was just, you know, 15 fucking pages of hate, of not some intelligent hatred, and I understood it the same way I would explain, I just wouldn't say something sucks. You know, they said some people said that Joe Rogan was selling all of us, that they didn't think I was funny or R.R. was funny. The people thought Joe and Duncan were funny. They thought that I was a slime ball and R.A. was a fucking idiot. You know, whatever.

And it was very weird to read, you know. What do you feel like when you read that? You just feel disconnected, but I understand. No, I'm not that type of person. I'm not a hypocrite like that. I get it. I fucking get it. Listen, once in a while, listen, if you want to hit me and go, I don't like what you do, that's fine.

Yeah. I appreciate that. It's when you hit me and insult me. There's a big difference. Hey, you fat bastard, fuck your stupid fucking show. Okay. It's on. But if you want to hit me with an email or something like that,

like a gentleman, go listen, I listen to your show, it's vulgar, you're racist or you're fucking insensitive, or you smoke dope. Some guy wrote, I'll tell you what some guy wrote, that he never paid attention to me, Ralphie Mae, Jackie Gleason, or any other comedian that's fat, because why would you listen to a public figure if they were obese? That was the one that made me laugh. That you would never, a comedian should be in shape, you know, whatever.

That was the one short comedians. You'd just be very attractive. That was how shallow this motherfucker was. Hasn't paid much attention to comedy. Right, hasn't. And that's why you have to, you know, one guy said we were a one-trick pony that Rogan talks about certain subjects

and I talk about certain subjects over and over again. All right, tremendous. That's the subjects we know. I'm not going to talk about something. I don't know and be a fucking farce about it. I'm not going to come out here and make-believe I know about everything. You know, I don't know.

about it. I don't know about anything. I know about two or three fucking things down to the wire, but that's it. And I've grown from there. But it's, uh, the one that, the only thing that bothered me was that people called me a liar. That was the one of them like, for sure. But there was a lot of people on the thread that also made viable points. All right. There he is. Mr. Pyle, what's happening, brother? What's happening, Jay-D? Good morning, my friend. Thank you very much for taking the time and calling me. What's going on

over there? Oh, now, everybody's up for the day now. How's the baby? He's fantastic. He's in there, he's in there eating right now, as a matter of that. Ten months old? Ten, ten months. And is he walking?

Oh yeah, he's walking all over the place, man, all over the place. And how do you feel? All right, great. It's awesome to, for his son to walk to you and lift his arms up for you to pick him up and hold him. to pick them up and hold them. It's tough for you to leave the house anymore, huh? Yeah, it is. It really is.

It really is. I didn't even make it to Eddie's invitational last night because of my house. After we spoke, I couldn't do it, man. It was Sunday, and there was too much going on, and it was fish sticks, and Wally Kazam, and I bought her a scooter, and, you know. Yeah, there's a new boss in the house, man, and it's all. it is to it. I don't care how tough you are, how bad ass you are, how

mean of a person you might be or whatever, a kid will soften you up in a second. Your own kid, your own kid will soften you up in one second, man. No, it's a weird thing. What's going on in your world? Are you training? I will be going hours after I'm through talking with you. And do you have a fight second?

you'll probably have me so pumped up. I'll go and bash somebody when I get to the gym. Oh, please. I need for you to go in there like a fucking savage today. What do you got today? You got striking, you got conditioning, you got jih Tzu, you got everything today? Yeah.

I think it's going to be M&A-oriented training today. I'll probably lead. It's amazing to life you guys lead, man. I fucking love it. I've learned so much from watching, MMA, I've learned so much and applied it to comedy, you know. But you've been around, you're the real fucking deal. You are the real deal, my friend.

I'm around a long time in this game anyway. As young as it is, I've been around. I've been a participant as long as it existed almost. On one of the fights when you fought, somebody mentioned that your first fight was against Rampage Jackson in Memphis. Yeah, yeah, actually, that was probably one of my, That was actually remember any of the names of my opponents, so, you know, of course, Sherald couldn't honor it and just, you know,

put up some magical number up there with no names. So that guy had that means, that had a little bit, slammed around. I got picked up thrown out of the ring into my corner's arms a little bit, and they just kind of just shove me back underneath the bottom rope and told me to go get after it. Now, let me ask you something, Mike. When you were younger before that, were you a fighter? Did you get into many fights?

did you have good hands I was a good kid I was all redneck the woods or something like that you know what I mean but you know you have to you know

just you know just a new guy whoops their ass and then they want to be friends with not really one of them and Kung Fu-Sack Now let me ask you this What was your first art? Did you

learn wrestling first or Jiu-Jitsu or Taekwondo was my That's what you you joined at 18. You joined Taekwondo at 18? Yep, I was 18 years old, about the turn 19. And I wanted to do that for...

My little cousin, he was seven. His mom was taking him to Taekwondo all the time, and I was always interested in Taekwondo to begin with because martial arts, the Kachanar, you know, so that was... So that was when you were in Dresden. Yep. Yep, that was when I was in... Well, no, actually, from drag...

Rock and Roll. You were really a rock and roll. I don't think it, a little bit more... I was one of the adults that were there that was a kickbox. But anyway... It's amazing how this happens. Like, you go into a gym one day. You know, whenever I talk to fighters,

I always expect them to say, well, I beat the fuck out of everybody I fought after 12. No, it's the other way around. You walked into something and evolved. And one day, you're like, you know what, man, I could do this shit. I could fucking do this. I couldn't imagine getting punched in the face for a fucking living.

You know, I could take a fucking knuckle to the head or something and hopefully not go down, but to do it for a living, Mike Powell, I respect the fuck out of you guys. And to evolve, to keep evolving. You know, Mike, every time you fight, you've got to get a little better. Yeah, you have to. You know, hold the bar, I mean it was, remember other? That, an NHB fighter.

And, you know, I was an NHB fighter. I went through all those times where, you know, you basically kind of had a guy who was a wrestler that barely could talk to for going to be in a wrestling. Times have changed. They can grapple. They can submit. They can, you know, motherfuckers are jumping off cages and side kicking people in the face.

You know what I mean? It's just, you know, I've been there since the beginning. and coaches as far as strength and conditioning and better, more open-minded, striking coaches. Have you know, have gotten into the game and evolved and just very, very good because they got, you know, a good grasp and a good idea of, you know, what's going on with the sport. They know what the hell they're doing.

It's not just a boxing coach or just a, you know, etc. 18. now they're in their middle 20s and it was mixed marshal. Rottie or type one dog or just and yeah. Yeah. I mean pure, here you go. You've got to take down wrestle, punch, kick, grapples, submit, and all that shit. You ready to go. You know what I mean? So, and there's been some good coaches

that involved in the game back in the day and that, you know, and been around it and, you know, and the sports young was like 20 years old, do this. You know, I mean, 20 years is nothing, anything, that's nothing for a sport, you know, to evolve and grow. That's 20 years is nothing. And look where it's at, man. There's just nothing more fast than pitted against one another. And, you know, it's just a human chess match.

You know, they're getting after it, man. And it's been, I mean, it's, it's, as humans were documented it over the thousands of years, that we've been on this earth. And, you know, you see all that, even down to hieroglyphics, people are, you know, they've got to show a couple of dudes wrestling, and then, you know, black haters. I mean, it's just until the end of time.

Because, yeah, soccer players, you get to sit down and pick a fighter's brain or talk to him about, remain interesting. I mean, because we are a percentage of the human race. We're a zero, zero, zero point, I don't know, five or something on and on.

I haven't crushed numbers, but the people that walk the earth that do what we do. It's a very small, small number. And people are, you know, even boxers, you know what I mean, and put us off in the May fighters in community able to do it. And it's interesting to sit and humans beating the hell of it. It's so fucking interesting.

You're right. No, hey, listen, man. Hey, man, you're walking down the street and then a soccer game breaks out. You're going to keep walking. You know, you're going to keep on walking? You're going to walk on it? Are you walking by in a baseball field or playing baseball? Yeah, so what?

You're going to start to keep talking. to your buddy about that new engine that you're going to put in your trans and tomorrow or whatever. But you start walking by a park and two dudes start scrapping, you're going to, you're going to something that's captivating. It's interesting, you know, especially at the level that, you know, that UFC has, you know, brought the NMA community to the public and letting them understand that, you know, a bunch of, you know, dumb kneeheads that pit in the cage, because we like fighting, you know.

It's an art where we are professional athletes, just the same as a UFC. He's done a really great job at getting that point across and exposing the fighters to the public so they can shake their hand. Often you get to sit and talk with your favorite dog. I love it. I love what's happening with it. You know, when I first watched the UFC,

I didn't know what the fuck was going on. 10, 15 months ago, I wasn't too crazy about it, but I started paying attention after I saw Anderson beat up Chris Liebman. I just had it on my TV when that fight was happening. And once I saw Anderson Silver, I'm like, oh, this is beautiful. I was really into it. And after that, I became a fan. And I became a fan of your lives.

I like your lives. I like that exactly. It's just not two guys beating each other up. And during the week juicing and going to a bar, It's, you know, people have families. You're a family, man. You're not out, you know, fucking having orgies every night. You're a family guy.

You get up. You go down there, you do your training, and you go back home, and now you have to be this different person. Here you are in your mind three hours earlier. Your focuses on breaking somebody's shoulder, whatever. You know, you're in the fucking cage practicing. You know, you have to get your mind set up, and now you've got to go home and shut that off and pick up a child.

you know, wash a dish and tell your wife you're lover. It's brilliant that you have those two different mindsets, but just what goes into being a fighter, not just a UFC fighter, but the whole thing. We were talking about dedication this morning, Mike Powell, that people think that you just do jumping jacks and hit a bag all day. There's so much more. I wish it was, and even for comedy,

people think that you get up at two, and we just get on stage and crack a microphone and smoke a joint. I'm 51. I fucking work harder now. You got to write. You got to prepare. And I can't even imagine being a fighter. The nutrition, the fucking, the jujitsu, the wrestling, the running, the conditioning.

And then you. And then you got to pray that you stay healthy. That the guys got rolling next to you when he bumps into your ankle. Because you know there's freak accidents. Yep. So it's such... All the stars have to be aligned. Your head has to be right.

You know, it just... I give you guys so much fucking props on the preparation that America doesn't see. America doesn't see the preparation that goes into... You know, they work 9 to 5. Their focus is on other parts. They just, you know, turn on Fox Sports on Saturday. And they're like, look at these fucking savages.

They don't understand. You know, even with pro football, they don't understand that that shit starts every fucking Monday, that there's film to watch. And you've got to prepare for their defense and prepare for their offense. You know, this is the same in any professional. But what you guys have done has really taken it to the next level in preparation. You especially, you're a fucking badass savage. Your last fight, you were a fucking savage. A savage.

But I think Rhonda Rousey was on the card. So they forgot about my brother Mike fucking Pyle. You know what I'm saying? It's like when Rocky's coach went to talk to Rocky to try to get him to manage him the first time. And he's telling him why you need to manage him because he knocked out whatever, but it was the same night that Joe Lewis knocked out so nobody knew what happened. But I saw what happened. I saw what happened.

You came out like a fucking savage. Your movie Thai skills were all over the place. That's why I love you, Mike Bob. Plus, you're from fucking the best place ever. I love all that stuff out there. That's why I married my wife. After I went to see a family and I saw those hills and not. how they eat those squirrels. I was fucking in, Jack.

How they eat those squirrels? They do. My wife's family eat squirrels. Oh, yeah. I'll believe how they ate a squirrel myself. Oh, and they look delicious. I have hunted, shot, and eaten one occasion. And how big are they when you eat them? How big are they? Oh. And you're deep-pry them, right? My wife deep-pricing my chicken. Yeah, you can deep-pry them. You can do whatever, just whatever you do with any other.

me such a bacon. Look at my co-host, the flying Jew. He's freaking out. What? You don't need squirrels, Doug? I'm so high right now. I'm telling you. You're like a little fried squirrel with some fucking mashed potatoes. Lee, you'd be jumping up and down.

Oh, yeah. When is your next fight? What are they saying? Well, I had a reply was, I will give you a fight in August. Yeah, they got a couple cards coming up, so. Yeah, I couldn't, you know what? I couldn't even tell you. you what's going on in the next cards or whatever. It's so many.

Oh, my God. Blowing up so big, so fast. Man, I'm and all these new names coming on, you know, on board. I mean, I can't, I can hardly keep up with myself and getting to the gym.

And, you know, like you said, coming home and being dad, it's like, damn, who's fighting next? Oh, fight, oh, there's a fight Wednesday and Saturday. Okay, all right, all right, every week. There's almost a fight. It's awesome. It's blowing up, man.

You know, they were just in Berlin and gone here in the States. It's just nuts, man. It's nuts. Where are the fights this weekend? Because I know this fight Saturday. This fucking fight Saturday, brother. The seventh, and this fights the 15th? I mean, this fights the next three weeks, I think.

What do you think, Lee? What do you see there? It's either a Johnson against somebody. It's blowing up. It's a fight. DeMarcus defending his belt. It's Ben Henderson and... Oh, no, yeah, that's right.

And where are they fighting? Let me see. It's so... Is he Anderson a zoo? Maybe Jamie Varner? Let me look at it. No, it's not Jamie Varner. Oh, here we go, anyone.

Henderson versus Cabillo? Cabillov, the Russian dude? Yeah, all right, yeah, so... Cabo? Yeah. Oh, shit. Sanchez versus Pearson. Dotson versus Moraga.

white wig on, huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that big weird hat, yeah, that was weird. Oh, that's who's fighting him? That guy against Ben Henderson. Oh, my, and where are they fighting out of? Albuquerque. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. You might have to jump in the car.

You go down there and report directly from fucking Albuquerque. You know what I'm saying? Oh, my God. Go on there stop at the Indian reservation. Get $10 in quarters. What else is? Who? Lee is Jewish.

Lee is Jewish. He could be Indian if he needed to. My wife is half Indian. Her family up there in Tennessee. My mother and wife. She said, who. Who? It's how, man, not who. How, who? You know, you got to be careful with

the Indians. They're fucking pissed off. They get mad at the Braves. Can you imagine what they'll do to us? Oh, yeah. They'd get mad. They'll get mad. I got a, there's a friend of mine here that's I don't know how much Indian, but I mean, he looks. you know, a lot.

I think Paiute tribe that, you know, that was out here, he's a cool cat. He loves his beer. Loves his beer. He's a beer man. He's a brewmaster out here. Got his tribe, got his

tribe tattooed on the inside of his lip. That's when you know you're fucking dedicated to the tribe, my friend. The Crips don't do that shit. Let me ask you. Let me answer you something. The blood runs.

What? Let me answer you something. What gym do you train at now? Syndicate. And what syndicate? Who's over there with you? Dendicate is, it's been a gym that you probably remember the name. It used to be, okay, started out back in the day, more than 10 years ago, Combat Club.

Then he joined forces with Zion, then it becomes Zion, the training center out here. then he joined forces with a warrior gym then that didn't pan out then it became a throw-down gym and that didn't work out with the you know partnerships and all that so then he said to hell with it and he's going to go solo call it syndicate okay and the owner's John Wood said he's been the owner of all those names and saying Jim

just changed the name on the outside, right? You know, for 10 years now. His fucking, his sign guy must love him. Right? The guy that makes his signs fucking loves him. He's like, uh-oh, here we go. No, there's a, the bank's got to love him when every time he changes the LLC. Oh, Jesus.

You get to pay some more shit. So you're fighting out of syndicate now. Those are your trainers? Yep, those are those. Yep, yep. Yeah, I train boxing coach is actually more of a private boxing coach, not part of the gym. That's Jimmy Gifford. And then another one of my striking coaches that I use for the most part all the time is Nate Petit.

I mean, he's out of Symmet Gym. And then I'm out of, you know, Symmet. You know, John Wood, who owns the gym, has been a real close friend of my ever since I moved out here to Vegas. and I've always, you know, always went to his gym. His gym has always been close to my house. Usually, always the closer gym. And I used to, you know, because I used to be out of extreme couture. Right, I remember.

And, but I was only, you know, once or twice a week, I was over at my buddy's gym. Anyway, I just represented, you know, Couture's gym. And then, so I parted ways from there. Couture. Yeah, from Couture. and then, you know, just started going over there, you know, solely and completely this. You know, like I was talking about, you know, evolving in the sport and things like that, I got to the point where the team aspect of everything is great.

I'm getting wrong. Either shit or get off the pot because I'm 38 right now, Joey, when it comes to this sport, young man in light. So I needed to make a change. I needed to get more focused. I needed to get a coaching. Extreme coutures. guys on the floor and seven of them are getting ready to fight in two weeks or three weeks

and get that kind of focus and that attention that you need that you know that that that you need from your coaches and your coaching staff and things like that it's a coach to walk the floor to 20 guys at the same time right made a change just what I'm going to do is I'm going to hire my camp where every day at this time my people are there whether it be five people that's on board or there'll be two people that's on board. They're right there, and they're all about Mike Pyle winning on whatever date it is. A couple in the UFC, you have other fighters that could look like that was, you know, next for me. You lose too much, then you're not that interesting. That's just the way it. It's cut through. Once I got that

focus and I dialed all that in, I made a turnaround and like a very needed thing for me because I had reached such a point where, Joey, I don't want to go anywhere else. UFC's where it's at, man. I don't want to go anywhere else. That's top of the heat. All those other organizations that are out there, they're great. These are where it's at. That's where I fought my ass off to get to, and that's where I'm going to stay until I'm done fighting.

I make the decision when I'm done fighting, right? I'm not going anywhere else. The shit would get off the plot. I made the change, left the team guys on. A very, very good wrestler, to come in for my camp for eight weeks, I'll throw him down a check I'll say, here's the check.

Does this number work for you? Do you want to come, take some time out of your life to help me win that night? If not, then, you know, I understand because that's a big commitment, you know, six to eight weeks gone away from, if it's a family man, he'd be gone.

It just doesn't matter. You know, you're out of your home for six, you know, weeks from anywhere you've got to eat you know break them off hey you want to be part of it yes then the coaches they're on board already they know what they're getting um the the training partners that i bring in they know what they're getting um you know it's very specific and uh it's it's been great you know i drop a couple of fights here and there but you know it's too you know they're not slouches you know according to wikipedia you're eight and two in the last 10 fights yeah what do you know you're waiting two of

I was going to say you were four-on-one in the last car. You know, I know you went down to Matt Brown, which just went by the blink of a fucking eye. It wasn't like, and I know you beat the fuck out of story, and there was another one there, and then the one in February. So you were never out of the game, brother. You were always in there. And I know, hey, listen, self-criticism,

you're talking to captain fucking self-criticism. I hate myself. So when I go on stage and I miss a joke, and I forget, I fucking go back to my room. and beat myself up that night, you know, and then the next day I see it's just a joke or whatever, but if you want to keep doing what we're doing, we've got to pick this shit up.

So no, you're a fucking savage, brother. 38 is just a fucking number. You look good. You keep, you know, your light. You haven't taken that many of your ones. What do you fight at 170, don't you? Right? 155, 170?

Yeah, 170. Yeah, 170. I probably woke up 187. About 17 pounds over. I never really, you know, I'm not a big guy. I'm just, I've always been, you know, tall and lanky, you know, so not too big of a welterweight, but right in the middle there, I guess. And you got heart, man.

I see it when you fight, I see how you walk around. You know, I've known you a couple of years and I've always loved you. When I found out where you were from, I even loved you more. You know, I love rednecks. That's my dream. I didn't want to be Cuban or I want to be a fucking redneck dog, because then I had an excuse to shoot. the motherfucker. You understand me?

When you got an American flag on your truck, you got an excuse to shoot a motherfucker. I'm Cuban now. They'll throw me in jail. But, you know, I... I got to ask as to be driving down the road and take a shotgun out of the back, gun rack out of your truck. Everybody going to hear it, and then put your... and put it back in to the truck, visible to everyone, go through the post office and drop the mail off, shotgun still sitting right there

and no one blinks an eye or calls the cops because this shit is cancer. Guys got a shotgun in their window. You know, when I was young growing up in Jersey, I was so, I didn't know. I thought Texas was where you went to be a redneck. So I was going to pick up my bags. I loved everything, Texas. I loved the Houston Rockets. I liked the Dallas Cowboys.

I didn't even know about fucking Tennessee and what was cracking there until I got older. But, you know, I told you a couple times, my wife is going back in June, and we're definitely getting a house an hour outside of Nashville somewhere. Like, I'm done. Okay. Do it, buddy. I'm really happy. I want to move back there.

I want to move closer to her family. You know, I like... Let that little one grow up with a yard and all the trees and grow up that way, man. No, I'm with you. I really like that. I like... I want property. I don't want to spend, you know, $400,000 and have a fucking neighbor.

I want to whack off in the... I want to whack off from the fucking... Yeah. You know... Hell yeah. We should eat up on the back porch and looking out over the rolling through the trees way back in there. Maybe a deer walking by. You're being in your underwear.

Just chilling. And if you needed to, take a piss. You just stand up and piss off the side of your porch. Oh, I love all that shit. I love it. I'm sick and tired of traffic. You know, a couple people, I've said this before, I want to move to Nashville. And I've got emails from people that it's very racist.

And I'm like, you know what, man? People fucking hate people everywhere. I don't attract those people, so I don't give a fuck. You know what I'm saying? I don't give a fuck. I don't attract. What's racist about wanting to move to Nashville? I know.

How the fuck? You know, everywhere you move, there's racism. Everywhere, you know, so it's like, shut the fuck up. I go to Nashville. My wife's best friend is black. They talk every fucking day on the phone. Andrea Bobo. She's in fucking Memphis now.

You know, my niece is in New York. My niece who just graduated from Bradford. They took them for a two-week trip. Tonight they're going to a Yankee game, bitch. They're in New York City, so you want to see a play. There's racism everywhere you go. I grew up with, I grew up, I grew up just, I guess I would say just out of being dirt for. Just a little bit higher than that, I guess, wherever that would be.

But we had, I mean, they got the black folks, white folks, all down in those neighborhoods, man. One of my good friends growing up The name was Tojo That was his given name His name was Tojo That was my boy We go hunt Birds with BB guns

Every day after school I wonder what old Tojo's up to nowadays Hunting fucking birds Or BB guns You never know my brother I'm gonna see you July 18th All right You're gonna come with the wife

I'll see you at the South Point I love you Mike Powell And I wish you nothing but luck I wish you would have done the show earlier I was always embarrassed to ask you but you're a fucking great guy, man. I hope, probably. Anytime that you wanted me to come on,

I'll definitely do it. I love you, Mike Powell. Have a great week. Give you a son a kiss, and I'll see you July 18th with the Flying Jew. All right, bye, 18th. All right, brother, say goodbye. Bye, buddy.

All right. All right, man. Have a great week. Thank you. That's a great fucking guy, man. I love him. Every time I see him, he got Eddie Bravo in a movie

with Mickey Roark. They all played prisoners. He's been in movies, Mike Powell. Wow. Yeah. Mike's a good guy. You know, I'm very fortunate to go to Wayans and talk to these guys. Whenever you do comedy shows, they show up and stuff. What's up, Lee Syatt?

You're a little for your fucking high. What's the problem? No, no problem. Let me just give a shout out. You squished some of that down. That wasn't just a quarter. No, stop. What are you going to do?

You're beautiful. It's fucking Monday. What else you got going on today? I got a lot of shit to do. What do you got to do? I'm moving on Thursday. I got a pack. Okay.

What about the walk today? You're going to take a walk today. You didn't walk yesterday. What am I supposed to do, dog? You see how high I am? Listen, you go home, you get your fucking iPod with the Jews jumping up and down to check my music. And you go for a walk.

I can't listen to that high. I almost had a panic attack. Listening to him. Talk about people beating each other up in the park. I started thinking about glade. Look at Lee. Look at Lee. He's stone to the gills.

This is what I'm talking about. People. Get your shit together. It's Monday. motherfuckers. Who gives a fuck what I'm still thinking. On it for all your fucking needs. For all your supplemental needs. If you're not going to onet.com,

he's still giggling, checking out what they got, then you're slipping. You understand me? Annet's got the... What they got? They got the hemp protein. Ooh, they got the alpha brain. Who farted? They got before... Did you smell that before? It was tremendous. Anyway, they got the

fucking... They got the alpha brand. They got the Shroom Tech. They got the new mood. Listen, their fucking cutting-edge technology. You feel good. I went to the beginning of Jiu-Jitsu Friday night, and I took two of those shroom texts, and I'll tell you what, I did phenomenal.

The energy it gives you towards the end, I did phenomenal. You feel good. You breathe in bed. I'm sorry, I'm burping. It's just fucking water, and that edible made me burp. Just go to fucking Onit.com. From kettlebells to weighted vest to ropes. on it is always doing something ahead of everybody else.

If you go to all these other health websites, yeah, they're okay and they've got good protein powders and whatnot. I've got a money back guarantee. You don't like what they do, you fucking, especially with the alpha brain. I mean, who else fucking puts that alpha brain? You take a cycle of alpha brain. You see how good you feel. You feel alert, you feel alive, your eyes are fucking.

What do you smell? The fart or the burp? No, no, not. Just like, who else makes alpha brain? Only one company. No one else can make alpha brain. Well, what the fuck you talk? This is what I'm saying to you.

When it comes to Neutropics, Alpha Brains the motherfucker. Go to honor.com. You like what you see. Go to Joey Dears.net. Go to the Annette Boxing Press. Church. C-H-U-R-C-H. Get 10% off.

Go on the stay-on-a-Program. They'll send you your stuff directly every fucking month, the beginning of the month. You don't got a dilly-dally and get back on the web page. Just like my people at Dollar Shave Club, those bad motherfuckers. This is the first ingrown hair I've gotten in months. Right here.

I don't know why. See that fucking lean? It looks like a fucking pepperoni fucking slice. It's big. I popped it this morning. I woke up. I had a lump on my fucking side. What, bitch?

What? What? What? You popped it? Yeah, I popped it. That's what I told you. I popped it by mistake. I didn't know what it was.

But it doesn't matter. Dollar Shave Club. I looked at the, see, I looked at the blades the other day. I looked at the handle the other day. How good the handle was the blade? Listen, if you're fucking around, when you guys are going down to a supermarket, you got to wait on line. You're spending fucking 20 a month.

And that's just on blade. razors alone. Cut this shit. They got a program $1, $6 and $9. You get to pick what you want for your needs, the tender ends of your beard, whether you want an alo strip. Go to Dollar Shave Club. Go see what they got to offer.

If you like it, go to Joey Diaz.net. Go to the Dollar Shave Club, box, and press in. Church. C-H-U-R-C-H. Don't sound so fucking enthusiastic cock-sucker. I don't know. I am because girls can use it too, because Paula stole mine. That's what I'm saying. And you shave your monkey, it's got a good handle. It's heavy. Your hand

won't slip. With those plastic, ones, you got no guidance. If there's a burp or your fart, you'll slit your fucking clip. Not with Dollar fucking Shave Club. Go to Dollar Shave Club. Go to the box and press. Church. Search. C.H.U.R.C. You dirty cock suckers.

Always. In the world of entertainment, I always try to hook you motherfuckers up. Whether it's razors, whether it's supplements. Let me come at you with my main motherfuckers. Hulu Plus, you can watch the... Hulu Plus and so much more. You understand. You got modern family.

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pretty much any streaming device you got at the fucking house. An iPhone, your foot, your fungi toenail. Hulu Plus is there for you. Go to Hulu Plus. See what they got. If you like what you see, go to Hulu Plus box on joie Diaz.net and press in Joey.

Joey, J-O-E-Y, you bad motherfucker. And start your program at $7.99 a month, but I'm going to give you two weeks off. Two weeks for free. Two weeks for free. Who gives you two weeks for fucking free? Who?

Tell me who. Nobody, motherfuckers. Go to Huluplus.com. Go to the box and press in. Joey. Joey, J-O-E-Y. Also, to one of my favorite people in the world. I love Jeremy.

I love talking to him on the phone. He always got answers for me. Go to Escape Pod Tank. Let me tell you something. For all your tank needs, look at the shape of this fucking mook. For all your tank, for all your flotation tank needs, whether it's industrial, residential. They ain't fucking around over there. You understand me?

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dot com mention the church and get 250 off this i got deal with this fucking why are you getting on so much what's the matter with you i didn't even say nothing funny i'm just talking about fucking our sponsors you got to have a little respect to you league you have a little respect you understand you said something very funny what i say you said What I say, Lee? Look at your say, me. And I got to tell you something about it. I listen to what, Lee.

What? What? I don't keep talking. Good. I'm sorry. I'll keep talking. I got nothing to say, cuck-suck, until you fucking stop giggling. What is it?

Ladies and gentlemen, this poor fucking kid is shot to death. You know what's crazy, man? I've been a little fucked up lately. I've been a little fucked up lately. It's amazing how hard it is to really write a book. It really, really is. I've got to give props to the people who are. authors, anybody who writes a blog.

But what's really hard is when you write a biography. I've been hooking up my little editor, Jessica, who I love dearly. She really is great. She really is great, and she's really got the language down, and she's a hard work and whatnot. But the beauty of it is we sat down this week, and we probably talked to three, close to four hours. We broke down three chapters. And I'll tell you something. It sucked the fucking wind out of me all week.

Being that open, or? Well, being that open, you know, because I had made notes. You know, you just don't, it's not like I just sit there and rattle off shit. I learn. I have to take a week and make little notes about everything I remember about that area. And then I put it all together, and then when I'm putting it together, I remember some other specific thing that was in there. Okay.

So it takes time. So when I get together with her on Tuesdays, we just sit there and we discuss the chapters, and it's a lot. You know what? You're people going to get a way better. a book because she's involved. You're going to get a tremendous book because she's sucking the energy out of me. She's taking these stories out of me.

She's asking the questions that you want to know. This is going to be a lot easier than me just writing because I don't know what you guys want to know. So it just dragged me a little bit this week. It really, between that on Tuesday, the live podcast on Thursday and the show on Thursday in San Diego and the drive and the fucking cookie and everything. Yeah. It really killed me. By Saturday, I was

wiped. I didn't know why I was so sore. Well, you're pretty open with the podcast every week. I'm open with the podcast, but this is remembering those years is a fucking nightmare. It's a fucking nightmare because it takes me there some nights. I have to go there in my heart and feel of desperation.

Friday night I stayed home. I was just about ready to go to bed. 9 o'clock. Hustling Flo is coming up. And I watched the beginning of it. And hustling flow is about a black guy that has pimps that has hookers, a white chick. and two black chicks, and they're all stars today,

I guess, in their own way. I mean, this movie was great. It starts off a little slow. I don't know how many years old it is now, 10 years old or whatever. It starts off a little slow, but it gets, it picks up. It picks up in the story, and they start writing. And every character you'll see in this movie you've seen before, including Ludacris.

And I don't know what happens. I don't want to spoil it for you, but there's a part in the movie when I was watching it the other day. and they're sitting there and they're waiting for a client a trick and he's writing wraps the pimp

is writing wraps in his car there's no air conditioner and the hooker is a young pretty girl with no confidence zero confidence but she looks over at him and she goes hey um

D I wish I could do something just like that she goes no she goes I wish I was good at something. You know? I wish I could do something.

One of those sentences, it just destroyed my insides because, again, like watching the thief a couple weeks ago and seeing what I wanted, the other part of it was that that was me. I always felt that was a thief because I couldn't do anything. Okay. And I think that's a horrible way to think. I know there's a lot of people that walk around

thinking that they can't do something at that age. It's horrible. It's fucking horrible. It really is horrible, you know? and even that, even thinking that thought that I thought that way, took a little wind out of my sales because I can't believe why I thought that way. Boy, was I confused. But if I was confused living in New York,

I can't imagine how many other people are confused, thinking that they can't do nothing, that they have to settle for a shitty fucking job or settle for something they don't want to do in life. It's so fucking weird. So if you get a chance to watch Hustle and Flow, but if you feel that way sometimes, you have fucking options. Because that's what writing,

And that book reminds me. That's what people are going to see that they write that book. I never ever want to be a fucking celebrity. I still consider myself a celebrity. That's a stupid fucking word. You know, and I'm not a movie star, and I'm just a dirty fucking comic. And I sit down with another fucking dirty Jew twice a week, and we talk shit, okay? But we talk the truth, and we talk what's in our heart,

and we talk about the things that we do, and now it affects us. This podcast is about fucking Lee and his growth. This podcast is about making somebody's day. but this podcast is also about thinking that we can't do something and I don't want you to think that way no more fuck all that shit you can do whatever fuck you want

it's Monday motherfuckers planning simple that's why we ate the edible that's why we smoked the vapor pens and that's why we're gonna leave you with a smile on our face I think I can tell you what was so funny to me well tell me now without fucking giggling you're doing the escape pot tank ad and you're like

I love calling Jeremy I love talking to Jeremy on the phone he always has answers for me just that quick line I love time. I love time of Jeremy. Sure. He's got answers. Why call a customer service guy if we don't have fucking answers, Lee.

You know what I'm saying? I just imagine like it's answers about nothing. It's like, answers. He was got answers. And then you ask them with the McDonald's, to get a 1810s. Yeah. Why call somebody if they ain't got no fucking answers?

You know what I'm saying? Have a great fucking week. It's Monday, June 2nd. Like I say, you can do it. We don't ever think you can't do it. Dog, I thought the same fucking way to hurt my feelings of watching that movie. So get up there, grab your

fucking balls. Take the little syringe, whatever you, what's that little sponge? Wash your asshole. It's going to be a good day. It's going to be a great day. Oh, the one-wim charlies. I think he meant the same. Whatever. Even if you just get the fucking towel and you don't have one-wip charlies. Wash that asshole. Get the bonnacles. It's going to be a good day. Trust me.

It started off in doubt, but it's going to be a good day. Stay black. I want to thank all our sponsors on it. Dollar Shave Club, Hulu, Plus. Escape Pod Tanks. Thank you for a beautiful Monday. Have a great day. See you Wednesday. We haven't decided on what time it will not be a morning one.

Have a fucking great day. Stay black. A little something for my people from New Jersey. 10th Avenue. Freeze out. Stay black. Now that the show's over, don't forget to sign up for your free trial with Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus lets you binge on thousands of hit shows. Anytime anywhere on your TV, PC, smartphone, or tablet.

Support this podcasting and an extended free trial of Hulu Plus. When you go to Huluplus.com slash Joey or go to JoeyDios. And click on the Hulu Plus banner. and don't forget to sign up for dollar shave club.com get high quality razors sent to your door every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail now go to dollar shaveclub.com forward slash church or just go to joaddea's dot net and click on the dollar shave club banner and jeremy calling them up he has answers for you at escapot tank.com

you're going to save 250 if you mentioned do we dea dyes or the church what's happening now