The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #188 | LEE SYATT | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: August 10, 2022

Welcome to UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT! It's Wednesday, August 10th… Today we catch up with our pal, LEE SYATT!  https://www.Instagram.com/leesyatt https://www.Twitter.com/leesyatt https://www.leesyattconsulting.com Don't forget to Pre-Order Joey's New Book, TREMENDOUS: The Story of a Comedy Savage on AMAZON! https://amzn.to/3QeDeCx  This podcast is ALWAYS presented by ONNIT! https://www.onnit.com This episode is also brought to you by Blue Chew & Displate… BLUE CHEW Visit https://www.bluechew.com and use code JOEY DISPLATE Support the show and get up to 29% off some sweet new  metal art with the code JOEY at https://www.displate.com/unclejoeysjoint62e803c5539f6 Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #LeeSyatt #BlueChew #Displate The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... https://spoti.fi/unclejoeysjoint

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I'm sorry about that. I did a bonged off that fucking priest pipe before. I'm still fucking rattling in my head. It's a beautiful day to be alive. What's up, gee? I'm happy we've been having fun the last couple days. That's where that cough came from. I got to tell you some guys, things change.

Things really change in life. They really fucking do. You know, Lee's been getting high up in Boston with his girlfriend. I've been getting high down here. You know, Lee got here Sunday. We tried to eat some edibles. I think we ate a bag of 300 milligrams. which we could do for fucking breakfast

five years ago and then we probably ate a chocolate bar like the first night or no no we had a chocolate so we had like 90-ish milligrams I did too I had 60 to first night oh he gives me no credit

he gives me no credit I ate listen I don't know if you can call what we were doing in LA getting high I get high now where it's like I'm conscious I remember events days like but you

Yeah, and it does. You can still do the milligrams, though. I can still do my milligrams, but they don't hit me like a mule like they used to. That's why I have to switch them around. So when I want to switch, like the weekends, I do the ABX. I want to be heavy duty, you know what I'm saying? But during the week, you don't want to be fucking killing yourself. So I get true dose from the Stoners Club with a K.

Stoners Club.com with a K. They got true dose gummy, sour apple. Is that what we had the last couple nights? Yeah, fuck it. Those are fucking good guys. I gave one to a friend of mine two years ago, like at a 15 milligram. I gave him at a football game.

Not a live game. We were watching football at this house. And I fucking looked at him at one point, and he was shot. And I go, you know what? I ain't giving no more these away. Because these are fucking people up. I gave two away, and they were fucked up.

So I had 270 milligrams left. And I ate the whole fucking bag. That was a mistake, guys. True dose is fucking strong. And they got chocolates. They got Kit Kat. I'm enjoying, you know, Hershey chocolate. You said they have twicks, too, I think.

They got twicks. Do they taste like it? Yeah, kind of. But they do the trick. Listen. Yes. You guys have all seen, and you've made fun of me for how I used to eat edibles, because they tasted like dirt in L.A.

The gummy squares are good. Those are gummy bears. The chocolates taste as good as an edible as I've tasted. You can always taste a little bit of the way. That's why I like the, but the gummies are. are great. They're small. And, you know,

I used to have to swallow the stars like pills. I would take a chug of water. I would bring water with me in the car with you because I knew you had something. Guys, we ate so many stars. I can never eat a star again. No.

Like, when they were done, they were done. Towards the end, they tasted so fucking bad. It was like doing a, you ever go to a shitty bar and they have those shots that the girl brings over,

the jello shots? That's what they taste it like. They taste it like. Jello shots would barboos, like, not even like, what's a good vodka, Titos or something? No, they made them with that fucking seven grain. Like, three Puerto Ricans and me

made it when we were in prison. What's that shit you make at home? It's like, oh, moonshine. It was fucking terrible. I didn't not like, those stars at the end were gross. Then this fucking guy found a bag in his freezer and he was still eating them. And they were a year old and they were kind of like

fucking hard, like it wasn't like a regular guy. Like, you knew these motherfuckers had some staleness. They worked. But dog, they were effective. The more stale those motherfuckers got, they were like an invite, they were like a fucking, uh,

an expired viking and they hit you like a fucking mule. Well, what about, like every once in a while, we would clean out the office and we found, because I kept them in the fridge because they stayed semi, yeah, fresh.

That's a good way to put it. We found some like behind the speakers behind, like in with the, um, records that like had got dehydrated, like all, the water had evaporated because it was a thousand degrees in that office most of the time. And we still tried to eat them, I feel like, at least a couple times.

I found the fucking sugar cubes from the acid days. From the liquid acid when we moved out. Let me explain some to you guys. I understand I've made a lot of mistakes in my time. I really fucking have. I have made a lot of mistakes. I never want to come across like I don't make mistakes. I got a couple fucking mistakes lately we made.

We didn't tape the guests when they come in. That should have been a fucking automated. put the camera on as soon as people would have sat down. We would have had shit for you people today that you wouldn't have believed. And when we picked up that carpet, I should have sent it to all the church people because all you had to do was basically put water on it, like a cheeky bear. What's those trees that grow? Geopet.

You get like a fuck. All you had to do with that carpet was taking home, lock the door. Don't tell your parents you got it. Put a little water in it. This thing was going to get you high like 10 days because first you pull a little. little water in it, right? Put a little water in it and then take the water out and drink it. That's the first dose.

Then the second dose would have been to fucking take that shit, fold it up like a heroin dude does with the aluminum foil and put like a straw to that carpet and just inhale what was coming off that carpet. Guys, there must have been a pound or two of weed in that carpet dug in. They had to be, I don't know how much edible dust, toenail dust. That one, we ripped that carpet up. I remember that the top, like it was like a dust thing went out. Like we had, it was disgusting.

The couch we had in there, there were so many drugs in between the fucking seats, like that people would bring and drop in the fucking seats. People have no idea. People really have, I was thinking about something last night when that dude duplicated the YouTube page. And we took the page away from it. He's like, I'm going to release the hitting camera videos from the church of you doing Coke. and we're like, you know, guys, let me tell you something.

That fucking, the office, the scary office. There was a couple of those. We had this, we, oh, yeah. We had a scary office where I saw the chick get kidnapped at the 7-Eleven at 4 in the morning where the lady fucking banged down the wall and said, stop smoking dope, and we weren't even smoking dope. We got that one. Then we moved to North Hollywood down the block from the burger place, in and out.

And that place, dog, I don't know how we didn't get. Today, today, in today's California, we would have got mugged there at night. It's a no-brainer. No-brainer. That was not a good neighborhood at night, guys. You had no idea. We'd leave there at 1.30 in the fucking morning. There wouldn't be a car on Lancashire.

Like, you see two hookers by the hotel. It was not fucking good that neighborhood. Where we used to smoke the reef, we were talking about that day-a-day, the periscopes. How many joints must be under that fucking stairway? because we used to just draw the weed but when we left there was and you couldn't get to them like there was no way you could ever get to him

because the stairs are blocked and then but then on the top of the stairs there was like a little gate that the owner must have had a key to or something to get to do something and the end of the periscope and he would just go over the fence and no like

oh there was a roof yeah that's right there was a roof there it was like an edge of a roof so I would throw the joints over and you could see like 100 fucking joints guys we fucking guys you have

we were talking about last night with the wives his girlfriend was here my wife was here and we were trying to explain to them what the eight years of that podcast was I wasn't a fucking coma guys when we unwind from that

Lee had his three month adventure in Milwaukee which didn't sound any better than what I was going to here not really when he called me and he fell asleep on the kick cats and they were all over his bed and shit I'm like Lee's not doing well neither am I I mean I was not doing well guys

I was telling Lee last night when we got here I got here August 19th and I was a fucking mess like August 21st I got a minor heart attack in Somerset from the anxiety my heart pounding all fucking night and then the only way my heart would stop would be at night when I drank the tea

and when I would drink the fucking the edible I would squeeze the edible out of the capsule and put it in the tea. And when then I got so high, because I was just draining. Like if I was eating 2,000 milligrams on the podcast, at this point I was eating 3,000 plus THC pills plus fucking the hashtags. Because I had like 100 cases of hashtags tabs when I got here.

He gave me everything he had at the store. So I was eating hashtags tabs at night. And we just moved in here September 1st, August 31st. We were sleeping on floors because we had no furniture yet. The furniture didn't come to September 4th. Temperature came. We were just down here. My wife was living upstairs.

I was down here watching, I don't know what the fuck we're doing. And when I got really fucking high after the furniture came. And this is what I knew it was time to stop, guys. I went upstairs. It was like two in the morning. At this time, I was going to bed at four. I'd be out of my mind by two. By four, I'd just be a fucking mess.

Druling, the whole fucking thing. I went upstairs and I was just eating I was going through one of my edible fucking you know sandwiches chicken cutlets I discovered Levote's so I had everything from LeVotees

I baked shrimp you know I was it called me I know I know I'm talking about Old Bay I'm guys I'm fucking eating I got shit all over the floor and all and the lights out there's just a light in the living room and the light from outside

and all of a sudden out of nowhere there's a fucking earthquake in my living room. Now, I'm so fucking high. I can be strictly honest with you guys. I did not know it was an earthquake. I thought it was part of the edible experience. It happened sometimes. Walk kicking in.

I was shot. I was shot. It's two in the morning. I'm in my fucking upstairs eating chicken, sandwiches, chicken cutlets, you know. And all of a sudden, this house starts fucking shaking, guys. I'm in the kitchen. And this house starts shaking.

I'm like, Okay, that's part of the edible experience. I'm going to put this piece of chicken down, and I'm going to go right to bed. I didn't wake up my wife. I didn't say nothing. My wife told the story last night that she woke up during the earthquake

and started crying because she thought it was all a dream that we had moved to New Jersey. Because how the fuck do you have an earthquake in New Jersey? I didn't know they had them here. I didn't know you had one when you moved. The one in Freehold, the 4.8, 6.2, the first week. I mean, I went to bed and I was like, that's a sign. And edibles will do that to you.

Because sometimes you'll, they go in waves, so you'll already be high. And then for a second. Edibles don't do that to you. The shit we were fucking taken does that to you. Okay? I don't want you to sit at home. That's true. This is why I don't need edibles because he saw an earthquake.

No. Nobody sees an earthquake when they take 15 milligrams. And when you take 15 milligrams, the only thing you see is a pillow and a bag of wise potato chips. That's the most danger you're going to get into. Okay. But we were doing lethal. doses of a PAC plus K. You told me that night we're taking

cat tranquilizers. I don't even remember it. Well, that's what you claim they were at the time. They were probably not, they were probably not cat tranquilizers, but yeah, no. All those white ones. Were they white or were they? There was the Armenian. I don't remember what they were. I don't remember what they were. I didn't give a fuck.

And those days, we just had to do what we were doing. That's it. And it wasn't like we were drinking, but we were talking about the unwinding process. Never drank. Oh, with Ron White. We didn't get drunk, though, did we? I drank a couple glasses at tequila. I was in shock. That's why I recommend Ron White's tequila

because I was not hungover and I don't like fucking hangovers anyway. But guys, we were in deep. L.A., it was time to pull that fucking show. It wasn't pulled because it was time. We were going to move and start a fucking new life because, you know, sometimes you really think you're living and you're healthy.

Sometimes you walk around and you're like, man, I've been doing okay lately. Guys, I was not healthy. It was just a matter of fucking time before one of us dropped. You know, with the road shit and him not sleeping and the fucking edibles.

And then it got to the point where guests were coming in and bringing in lethal. You know, it got to the point where hosts were coming in and trying to knock us out of our fucking game. But we were prepared for them because we had been at war in the trenches

for fucking eight years. The last two or three years of that podcast before Foco went off reservation and you know uh what's his name fucking benjamin bratt whatever's fucking owen benjamin i mean you know i'm not proud about owen benjamin but this was part of what was going on you know listen when i left l.a i was under fucking stress i was anxious and most importantly i was fucking tired you would just been tired i wasn't tired from no sleep i was just tired i was just tired I was done with listening to the lingo.

I mean, and I always said this. The last couple months of the church, I kept saying, guys, this pandemic is going to change a lot of us. This pandemic is going to change a lot of us. And it fucking did. Everything has changed in our lives since then. A lot for the better, I think. A lot for the better, but a lot of shit is still not right.

I think there's still even more mental health issues. Oh, in the world, yeah, the world is. Like, you know, and in the United States, people that you see, people that you talk to, I mean, this really either sped up people's thinking. For me, it slowed it down. It gave me a window to look and see what the fuck I had done for the last 25 fucking years. Last time I checked in with myself was like January of 97. You know, when you land, you just go.

It was like they pulled me. It's like getting shot in the war. That's what happened. I felt like I got shot, and they brought me to a bunker. and I got to feel everything I hadn't felt. I hadn't felt shit. You were always fucking high. We were always high and we were always moving.

Part of my anxiety when I got here was adjusting to my new life. Like I felt fucking I could feel my skin crawl guys. I didn't know what it was to wake up and not have to leave the fucking house. I didn't know what that feeling was anymore. I didn't know what it was to get up at 8.30 in the morning and you already got three fucking messages. from agents or an actor or somebody who wants to use you at 8.30 in the morning.

You got to call him back and go, I just woke up, guy. What the fuck? And they're like, we need for you to get the cinema Ram a City. It was just a nightmare guest. Yeah. Podcast. You know, it was, it was overwhelming, guys. And you just get, like, you get used to it.

Like, your least favorite time of the year, at least when we were in L.A. was the holidays. Because, like, you got used to that, and then there was nothing during the holidays. and I can't wait. Who doesn't like the holidays? Like, you just got used to like that. Well, kind of remember one thing, guys.

The holidays in Los Angeles. Right. His dick. His dick. I don't know if those people are atheists. I don't know if they believe. You know, I don't know what they believe in. Their Christmas and our Christmas are two different fucking things.

And, you know, thank God for Burke Kreischer for inviting me old for Christmas with the kids. And my daughter could play with his daughter and the dogs and other neighbors. That was great. But guys, that's where it ended. There was no feast of the seven fishes. Nobody was, you know, here, it starts Christmas Eve. You know, you do something, somebody comes over, then you go somebody else's house,

then somebody else is having something. You don't get home until midnight. Then Christmas Day, you stay at home, open your presents, jump up and down, and at like 3 o'clock, we were around the corner already. That whole week, it was like a fucking, a parade around here. Like, I wasn't shot. Like, I wasn't used to it.

because tell them about Christmas in California. It was me. Felicia Michaels would come over. You'd have a few. You would have more, like, I went to your house for, I think, every holiday. For the most part, it was Thanksgiving. You'd have people come over,

and a couple people would stop by, but then they'd all, they'd have eight million parties they're going to. And it's just, uh... There was only one person who went to parties. Everybody else stayed put. We were fucking orphaned. It was me, you, Steve Simone.

Yes, Steve. Jerry Rocha, Felicia Michaels. One year we had Kate. She had to leave. But beside that, nobody really has nowhere to go, guys. It's not like it's a joyous fucking event. If you're a producer, maybe people invite you over hoping you're going to put them in a movie or something like that. It sucked.

It basically sucked. You know, I still remember Rogan calling him going, we're moving to Austin. And I'm like, no, I'm not. And I'm going to tell you what. It's not because I don't love Joe. It's not because I don't like Brian. It's not because I don't like fucking Texas. How much we love Austin, Texas?

It was because I needed family. It was time to have the people that I banged it out with around. I loved Ari. I love Duncan. I love Ryan Sickler. I love the comedy store. And they're all great and dandy. But we're all men fighting for ourselves out there.

It wasn't like we were a team fighting these motherfuckers. It was every man for myself. And as soon as you had a team, you'd realize they'd stab you in the back to get stage time or something stupid, you know, it was about stage time. And you're like, what the fuck? There's more to life than this guys. So I don't know. It was just time to go.

The holidays were killing me. Once I got the wife and the kid, it was like, what kind of holidays are these? What kind of fucking holidays it is? These people don't even say Merry Christmas to you on the street. Everybody takes off, which I don't blame. That was maybe in part that was my mistake. because I was so fucking, I wanted to shoot projects. Like, I always knew that the best part of the year for me was December.

December 1st through December 26th, when I woke up every morning, my dick was hard because I knew there was a role. I knew that was going to come out that season with something because all these other suckers would leave. And I'd go, okay, watch these motherfuckers that leave. These are the same people that tell you nothing's happening for them. And I'd say, don't guys, stay here now. because this, you know many fucking things I booked on the toilet?

I remember I shot a fucking NFL commercial on Christmas Eve. And yeah, and no one else was there. No one else was there. And by being there, the guy goes, hey, we're going to shoot another commercial, and then another commercial we need an actor for that one. Stick around for the block. So I shot two NFL commercials. There were shitty commercials because there were NFL promos,

and I got 306 for them. So I made 212, 306. I made 612 for the fucking day. But at least I'm a lot. made $612 on Easter, but I would sell my Christmases for those stupid roles, you know, like I wanted a bookshed. I wanted my January to be busy. Right. And, but even like, like you're saying, with your family, but for me, I hadn't, I would see my mom twice a year for a week and me, I'm 34 now. I didn't think I'd want to be living with my mom

at this point, but it's been a great two years to like see her every day. And I told you that, Didn't you? Oh, you always said go back. I live on with mom when you're a little lost. When the shit gets dange, you know, you go back to your basement. I don't go, oh, your bedrooms now are study. I don't give a fuck, ma. Yeah. I'll sleep next to the water heater.

I don't give a Frenchman's fuck downstairs just to smell that smell. And it brings you back. It brings you, for me, I just wanted to, I don't know, I just wanted to get back. I wanted to get my life back to normally. That was basically the fuck it, you know. Or whatever version of normal. Well, normal. And the normal that I like is what I'm doing right now.

This is the most that I want to do. You know, ACDC got a song about whatever, and it's, I love the lyrics, you know. I know I ain't doing much, doing nothing means a lot to me. I mean, doing nothing means a lot to me because I have not stopped since I was 13, 12, 11 years. I haven't fucking stopped. I get up in the morning and I go outside,

I drink my coffee. 20 minutes, I tell the world how grateful I am to be in the world and shit. And I think about, like, what do I got to do? It went from me doing, I remember my notebooks, like my schedules. I would have 10 things in a fucking day. 10 things. I remember, like, getting home and going, woof, and going, fuck, I got to go back to the comedy store and do three more shows tonight.

Now I wake up, I got three things on my books. And you're happy. And I'm fucking ecstatic. I don't have these idiots calling. me all fucking day trying to put me in clubs and all this shit i don't have any of that and i don't want any of that stuff i'm very happy with those fucking six shows in new york i am guys you have no idea you have no idea somebody's been calling me a dear friend and like listen they want you at this place september 27 28 no i don't want to do it because that'll be five shows in

september i only want to do three a month how's that for you motherfuckers and just but getting to see mercy too getting to see like grow up This is the most time I've spent with her, and she's almost 10, and she's funny. Like, she's funny. Like, she's turning into a perfect mixture of both of you. We were out last night, and I was joking with her about the weather, and she goes, it was what it was. Like, that's what they should say at the end of the newscast. What's the weather?

It was what it was. The day's over. And I'm like, you're nine years old. Doug. We hang out with a black couple. But I love to death. They're interracial. And they're great people.

The dude is black. And I love him to death. Whenever Mercy see them, she goes, what's up, homie? And my heart stops. My heart stop. She calls everybody else by their first name. But for some reason, she calls this brother.

She goes, what up, homie? And I fucking just shake my head. I'm like, oh, well, this is not going to work out. But I'm used to it. No, that was another thing, Lee. The biggest problem I had with L.A. towards the end was how can I raise my daughter in this fucking city. Yeah.

How can I raise my daughter in this city where, you know, I love when people judge L.A. and they've never been there. They only just know. They just don't know. And they'll sit in their fucking newspaper article at the New York Times or the New York Post or whatever the fuck

they do. And they sit there because the rules change when you're in L.A. The rules change. You know, the other night I was watching. Anybody see this? The thing about Woodstock? The 99? Yeah. Didn't we just have that on?

Were that here? Yeah, we just had that. Did you watch it? Oh, my God, those episodes? Three episodes. It's on Netflix. It's 99. I'm going to tell you what I saw.

Episode one, I saw a lot of naked women. Mm-hmm. I saw, oh, people are naked, a lot of naked women. First night when I watched, because the first night we watched two episodes, and then we watched the third with you. Oh, okay. By the time the first one was open,

I looked at my wife and I go, I'm surprised they didn't report a lot more rapes. you know you think of all the drugs and booze and there was and by fucking the third episode they were like after that thing well right there

right as soon as I told my wife episode two um the red hot chili peppers were on stage and something had happened I don't even know if it's a red hot chili pepper something had happened and a truck had pulled into the middle of it

like they're on stage and also in the truck just pulls like you know 50 yards away but what the fuck? A truck. And the security ran in there. By the time the security got in there,

they opened the truck, and there was a guy putting his pants on, and a 15-year-old girl naked passed out. Oh, Jesus. So I was like, what did I tell you, Terry? And we're getting to this point. The point is once episode three came, they were discussing all the rapes.

And all the rapes that occurred, and it was horrible. Women were getting groped and tortured. They were fucking them in the corners, raping them in the corners. It was not good. And they didn't even tell you everything. You know what I'm saying?

Because they just went up, what was released. They didn't tell you all this shit, which you have to, as an American, as a human being, you're like, there's more shit. If all this shit happened, if they built the fire. I mean, and it was, and you know, again, I'm sorry for my language. But this shit's got to be stopped. It was white people's shit. Okay?

And I'm not talking about the people who went to the concert. You ready for this one? you got 250,000 people at a concert. This is one of the reasons. I didn't do comedy during the fucking COVID. Because this was 99. These kids paid. First of all, it was 100 degrees,

and they took their water when they came in. Made them pay for water. I mean, it was just a ton of shit that, listen, it's greed. But then the white shit came in. 250,000 people, and the guy that organized Woodstock in 66, or whatever it was,

wanted to pass out candles. To what? To a forest fire? What are you going to do? No, he wanted to pass out candles because the head of the Columbine had just happened. Oh, geez.

And the head of the Columbine Society for Kids. And again, I understand I'm very compliant. I know where your losses are. But this is 250,000 thousand savages. And you want to go out there and give out 250,000 candles because you want to take a picture for awareness, a youth,

of gun control. It would be such a great moment. No, it wouldn't. These guys are animals. They haven't slept in three days. They're fucking filled with fucking drugs. They smell like shit. They're covered in shit.

They were swimming in shit. The New Jersey board, the New York board went up there and tested the water. These people shouldn't even have skin by now within the shit and the fucking dirt and what was Rome, New York. You know, when you look at this,

you know that's not a safe place for a fucking girl. And that, and like, I think that's what the difference is, though. They wanted the picture with the candles, but with all the money they made from that festival, they could have made a huge donation to some organization, but no, they wanted the picture because it would look good,

and they don't care. They don't give a fuck. So, to get them my thing, I noticed that there was a lot of naked women, and I'm like, something must have happened. One, I like guys, when you go to places like the store, when you go to places like Dan Tanners,

when you go to any of these places, And I would never went to a club in L.A. Like, I don't know what a club is in L.A., but I got to tell you, there's got to be tons of these women in this club. All these women are walking into these clubs, whether you like it. And I'm not explaining myself correctly. But they're walking in there naked without being naked.

That's a lot of places. But, yeah, L.A. especially. That's a lot of places, guys. They're walking in there naked, even though they're not naked. They're walking in there with their fucking nostrils wide open. And it's like those young girls that, went to Woodstock. You know, they got sold a party.

Guys, it's not a fucking party. It's not a fucking party. It's like this chick that's suing my man there. You know, beautiful people. We all live in Maryland, Mansell. When you're on a date with Marilyn Manson, you got to suppose at some part of the date he's going to put a candle in your asshole.

Lit, okay? Because it's Marilyn Manson does. But you're a girl from like fucking Boulder. Ha ha ha, ha, ha. You think you want to party with Maryland Manson, and then when he puts a crowbar up your pussy, you want to fucking complain. I get it.

I get it. But if you play with fire, you're going to get burnt, ladies. This is something. This is the reason why I pulled my daughter out, L.A. Because I couldn't teach my daughter how to not play with fire and get burnt. When she looked around,

all those women were in the game to get burnt. They didn't know they were going to get burnt, but they're going to get fucking burnt. And, you know, for all these people who are sticking up, listen, you guys have no idea what goes on in those disgusting places like L.A. I mean, you know, everybody talks about Harvey Weinstein. What about the women that did sleep with Harvey Weinstein?

I wish before he dies, he puts that book out. So you see, you know, listen, man, I'll sleep with him one time, but I'll have a career. You still slept with him. You still got a fucking asterisk next to your fucking name. You know, that's how I put it. You're like fucking anybody who did steroids. Like Barry Bonds? Huh?

They're the Barry Bonds of acting. Yeah, he's like a Barry Bonds of fucking acting. You know, you suck. I want to know how many women dig suck Harvey Weinstein's dick. And even all those women that he came over and knocked on that door and raped him, you know, I can't do this shit. Lee can't do this shit. So there's something to do with power out in L.A. that makes everybody kind of sell their soul.

That makes everybody in a way walk around naked. When I got there, I walked around naked. I didn't know what to fucking expect. And then as you're there a couple months, you're like, you know what? This is the jungle. This ain't no place to walk around fucking naked. These people playing for keeps. There's a thousand horrible stories

that come out of L.A. motherfuckers. You guys just don't hear them. Horrible. Horrible. For every hundred girls that come in on that fucking Greyhound bus every day in L.A., 2,000 of them leave

fucked up from what they've fucking seen. Okay? What the desperation is, how it... You know, I still remember moving to L.A. And again, I didn't know what was going on. People said, you go to Runyon Canyon and you walk. Right. So I lived down the block from L.

Runyon Canyon. I remember I went to running Canyon like three times. It's a bunch of fucking jerked. But I still remember walking into Runyon Canyon and they had Yogi Steve. Right. He used to do yoga on the side. I didn't know him at that time. So sometimes I would pull to the right. I would go to the left just to see what the people were doing, yoga, jumping jacks. But I would listen to this table over here. There was eight girls at this table. They would sit there at nine o'clock and bring their audition sheets. This is how desperate and retarded these fucking people were. They would bring their audition paperwork to this fucking table with these other eight girls. They all had baseball hats on.

And they would sit there and talk about, they went to Jack's house. They were talking about Jack Nicholson and what Jack would make him do. And how great Jack was. And he's great. Oh, my God. He had blow last night. He got it from India, from these Indians that had, I would sit there and go, these bitches.

And even then, this is my, my first two. weeks in that lane. I would look at these girls and go, these girls have no clue the animals that they're dealing with. At that time, I figure fucking, he was my age, Jack Nicholson, 59, 57 when I got that lay maybe.

These girls were 20. You know they were all sucking that old Hollywood cock from Easy Rider being on a motorcycle and shit. You know, I mean, think about it. You need that in your life? These girls are parading themselves now in some community in Idaho telling people they were actresses. Meanwhile, they still got the taste in their mouth.

from that old nut in Jack Nicholson's fucking, you know. Witness Relocation program for all the people who suck this. It's, it's, I don't, I look at L.A. now, man, now I see right, like, when you're there, you don't see this. And I've told Lee, and I've told you guys, when I look at Instagram sometimes, and I see these videos or women and stuff, I'm like, these people are losing their fucking mind. These are millionaires. These people are millionaires, jumping up and fucking down. You know, if I was a millionaire, I wouldn't be fucking jumping up and down a goddamn fucking video. I'd be at home counting those 20s.

There's a big fucking difference. I mean, but it's, I think that that's how bad the pandemic has been. It's fucked people up. It fucked me up. But then again, when I got back here, I didn't know, Doc, I was so out of it. It's hard not to be. It's hard to know, because if you watch the news or you pay attention to what's happening, it seems like everything's burning.

The world's going to end. and then, like, you just come back. Like, I think that's probably why the homeless problem is the way it is in all up and down California. Because people, like you said, people go there and lose their mind, and they don't leave. They don't go. The lucky ones go to Iowa.

There's a lot of them who are just, they lost everything. I really felt that was a setup towards the end also in L.A. I thought L.A. towards the end, I've seen the homeless population quadruple and just a shableness. short amount of time. Something wasn't right. And then they would move around in 200s or 100. Don't they need a bus?

They got nothing but time. They just walk, I guess. Nah. Something was going on LA, like, you know, 2016 was one thing. What about the ones in Vegas, though? Have you seen the homeless people? Those are scary. Oh, Vegas, San Francisco. Listen, man, the fucking West Coast is done.

Ground Zero. What's that area they call in Seattle now? Manifestation area, downtown. Oregon guys I'm very happy that I'm sitting put I'm very happy

and you're gonna if you want to ask me right out I'll tell you yes I'm scared yes I'm scared to get on a plane and go do four fucking shows at a comedy club

that doesn't give a fuck whether I want to lose for the sake of nothing you know I don't I could just life is so on unpredictable now. Every Monday

when you wake up they fucking throw these shootings down and it's like these shootings can't happen like you keep going what? Another shooting this weekend in Cincinnati two weeks ago in Chicago so when is the next one? And it's funny I went to the mall yesterday

I had to go pick up something to freehold mall and I pulled them and I saw a cop car and I wonder if he's here arresting shoplifters or something happened I went and I picked up the book I walked out And I saw the cop car there. There was nobody in there.

And I'm like, oh, he's probably here as a deterrent for shootings at a mall or something like that. Yeah. And I'm like, wow, how fucked up is that that you're driving by one day? You go, holy shit, my kid needs a pair of sneakers. You pull into the fucking mall. You got a half hour to kill. You walk into the mall and all of a sudden there's a fucking shooter. And maybe you get shot.

Maybe you don't. What does that do to your fucking day? It destroyed. And that's what I think it is, at least. Because LA is not all bad. No, not at all. But I think what happened is we got lucky and we, like you're saying, you don't want to, like you're scaredish to go on a plane, but you just realized that there's things you'd rather do. And we were able to like just change our lives during the pandemic in that way.

There's some people who, because of either losing their job or the work, they just got angrier during the pandemic. and like we're just two separate sides I think you either got better or you got a lot worse during the pandemic because like yeah LA

and LA just attracts those kinds of people that it's just it's a very selfish because who wants to be a movie star very selfish self-centered and I get it there's a lot of great actors

but it's people who think they're the best and like didn't someone just shave their eyebrow last week like a rapper Yeah, she did on Instagram live And her her publicist was calling her stop it

What are you like? And she was on the phone. She was like oh, they're losing their mind. I'm shaving my eye like that. That's like that candle thing. Their goal is not to create good content. Their goal is not to be good people. Their goal is to get as many views as possible.

Which can be good. But a lot, it, because there's a lot of good. There's a lot of good. great TV and move, but there's a lot of shit out there that's just, like, I want to have you get, have you seen the stuff on, like, YouTube where people prank, like, they'll run up to you and throw shit at you at the store, like, whisper in your ear. And people, like, I think people have gotten killed, haven't they? Like, some YouTube pranksters have gotten killed because, like, they, they, they throw something

from over the other, other stuff in the aisle on top of someone's head. And they think it's hysterical. And it's. Yeah, no, we made the right. And life is, like, all the fun you get to have, going to, like, you went to a Phillies game, you went to a Yankees game. I didn't do this for 30 years, though.

I didn't do this for 30 years, because when I was in, I was in. I enjoy how I feel now about comedy. It's, it's, I'm going to go down there. I'm going to give my best, whatever happens, happens. You know, I do some writing, whatever, but I'm not working for the agents. I'm not, I don't give a fuck with Netflix thinks. I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks. But to correct myself, I'm not scared of, like, you know, getting stabbed or something.

I'm scared for people. I'm scared for me in general. You know, I'm scared. I'll tell you what. My brother went to Chicago this weekend for Comic-Con. On the way there, there was no problem. The flight, great, blah, blah, bye. No, no, no.

He got there late, and then they bumped him, you know. If you know anything about my brother, you give him a million dollars, he won't get there on time. Seriously, it's not even funny anymore. At 59, it's not even funny, though. And that night I told him, I said, change the flight right now, because 615, I don't see it. Ah, no, no, no, I'm different now. Next day, I just called at 11.

Let's see where he's at. I'm eating breakfast at fucking Newark. What happened to 615? Oh, you're not going to believe it. The Uber driver went the wrong way. I'm surprised you weren't monitoring the flight to see if it got canceled. I already know the story.

You don't need to get the details. Like I told you, you just know that person. You know what they're about. They're getting thrown themselves into this fucking hell. Let's play the handout. No, no, no. Sit down. Don't go nowhere.

Watch him. Watch what he does. You know, he could have changed that flight for the 10 o'clock. He didn't. He challenged himself. I'm reading his three-fifteen. I go, what time did you get back? We got there at 620.

No, you did. But that's the thing. Not even, you know. My daughter has softball. Right. He'll call it. Three. What time is softball? Six. Same field. Same field.

Six-fifty. You'll see him with a chair, with a bag. What happened, John? Oh, no. Traffic. I brought ginger ale. Why? Why did you bring ginger ale? Who asked you, who told you he wanted ginger ale? Like, you bringing gingerails and are they changed 50 fucking minutes? 50 fucking minute. I mean, he's hysterical. But anyway, on the way back last night, again, he called me before he was on the plane. 4.30 and I'm like, because

he can't do it. Do you know in 1987 he was coming to Colorado? It took him three days. He kept eating Valium at the airport and passing out and sleeping during his flight. For the time I got my Cuban sandwiches, they had mold on him three days later. I told him, don't move. You would think after the second day. He was stuck in Pittsburgh. I kept telling him, dog, don't lose those sandwiches. I'll fucking kill you.

Because that's all, I didn't want to see him. I just wanted to fucking Cuban sandwiches. But this morning I talked to him and you're ready for this? he had a 430 flight. When he got on the flight, he fucking passed out. He did not know. The flight was taken off at 4.30. He was arriving at Newark at 707.

What time did it land in Newark? 9.30 last night. But when he landed, when he landed, they held him on the tarmac from 930 to 10 fucking 50. Listen, guys. The worst. I don't mind on the way in. If I'm going somewhere and you call me at the airport

and the airport says, Flight 1154 of Chicago is canceled. Listen, cancel the Zanis weekend. Poth is not coming. I'm not waiting. I'm telling you right now. If I book a fucking weekend, this is why I took New York, guys.

This is why I did this five shows in New York. Trust me, I'm saving everybody aggravation. Because if I were to book Miami, and I get to Newark is the number two most canceled fucking airport in the country, I don't know what number one is. I don't know. Hell.

But if I get to that, fucking airport and it says delayed and I'm going to Miami. Right there I call whatever the club is and go, listen we'll give it a shot in six months. I'm not staying here all day. Not next week. And I'm not giving him my luggage. That's why I'll keep my

weed and everything on the sleep battened because if they say what we get, you know what? Here, here's a 50, send it to the house Federal Express. I'm not even waiting because if they cancel a flight, it takes you two hours to get your luggage back. That's time of me and Simone in New Orleans. We came in a little. People like, well,

We'll send you a helicopter. That's great. But we got no fucking luggage. Right. They didn't give it to us. So I'm not playing that shit at all. Now, let me tell you the other side of that coin. Let's say I do make it to Miami.

And I do the fucking great five shows. We had a show on Thursday. And I get to that airport. 6 o'clock on the morning. And it says canceled. What happened on 9-11 is going to be a door prize. So what I'm going to do with that fucking amp. I'm going to pull my hairs out.

I'm going to call her a re-pilot of the cock sucker, the chick at the front desk. And when she tells me there's no flight to 11 or they tell you now, tomorrow or 10, I'll lose it. So before that happens, I'll sit here. Yeah, I'll sit here.

I'll do Uncle Vinnie's. I'll do the Stress Factory and I'll do fucking the Sony Theater until February and then we'll see how it looks in February. If February is looking a little better with the sky, then we'll fucking start taking flights. But if not, I'll sit here to my ass grows roots. I don't need to go anywhere.

I really don't. I don't need to go to California. I need to go to your fucking wedding. So if you invite me to a wedding, Listen, I wouldn't go to your wedding if you got married next door. I was going to say, I don't think... You can't blame the pandemic on the wedding. No, I'm not going to fucking nowhere.

And let all these assholes that go to these weddings. And we're going to Mexico. Let them get delayed for 12 hours. You get down there, you hate the fucking room and the fucking bride. Cocksucker. Twelve hours to come to your fucking retarded wedding. Everybody's got a dress and white, make believe they're having a good time on the beach. You know, fucking weddings with that shit.

Meanwhile, she's sucking dick at White Castle for the last 10 years. in the back of the car. Now she's dressed in white, and we all got to be nice. Oh, my God, you look so beautiful. You look like a spring bride. Who gives you? You like a fucking dirty whore.

Knock it the fuck off, all right? Sick and tired of this stupidity going on. What up, dog? Where's those edibles? What are we doing? I don't know. I'm not inviting you to a wedding, I guess. I won't invite you to a wedding.

I don't want to go to no fucking weddings, guys. I don't have fucking eight hours. Mike's having like a two-hour wedding. That's it. That's it out. Walked job. Get the fucking. Fuck I.

Four hours. He'll be there for two. Two, two. I'll dance one time. I won't even say goodbye. No, that's the best. They'll see the tape. What happened to Joey?

I don't know. There's smoke. I used to have to keep an eye on you because if we went to a club, you told me, like, I'll leave you here. I'll leave you. I'm ready to go. You better be ready to go. So, like, I always have to keep an eye on you. Don't want to go.

Yeah, when I'm ready to go, I got us to go. This is the circle. This is the, you got two minutes from there. This is it. Wrap it up. You know, I don't care about, listen, let's get together for Lord. Look, look, right here.

Wrap it up. That's conversation sake. Viva Le Bista. We'll see you next week. And we'll go, I'll leave you. Bro, my mercy godfather, I left her wife at a Judas Priest concert.

We were 17. I told that bitch, we got us to go, and her little girlfriend she brought was puking. You deal with that. I don't give a fuck. I ain't waiting for you. You know, I brought you as a

You tagged the long fucking, you know, lay down Sally. She's puking out of fucking tons. That's not me. We'll drop her off at the red hot chili peppers. No fuck with me, dog. I don't give a freshman's fuck. Last night, my friends went to rage against the machine. They're doing concerts still?

Yeah, they're doing the garden all fucking week. $400. You go see rage against the motherfucking machine now. I will say this, though. As much as everything's have changed, you're like somehow you're now the king people were recognizing we're calling out to you that you knew

like at Carvel last night like people would drive by just in the area you live in and like the entire town knows you know those are my friends from Jiu Jitsu oh I know A little Mexico a little Puerto Rican dude was from Jizzo a little Asian dude I saw hit a left he came over hi Mr. Diaz

come on dog you fucking smell my feet in Jiu Jitsu don't call me Mr. What the fuck You were saying you farted in Jiu Jitsu the other day Oh my God some guy had me in side control and I was about to sweep him and right here had this knee shield up

and that little fart came out and bank shot off the mat right into his fucking face. He couldn't attack me if he wanted to. That's a good move. That's Uncle Joey's secret weapon. Lee, I'm happy you're down here this week. I'm happy that you came down and you introduced us to your fucking girlfriend.

A lot of change in Lee's life and I'm very proud of him. He's got a nice girlfriend. He's got a different fucking world. Mike's about to get married. Everybody's getting old, guys. I mean, you know, it's funny how we're sitting here in front of you today, and you're like,

come on, guys, spark it. What the fuck? Guys, it's not even... We smoked earlier. Oh, yeah. I did a fucking nice bong hit before, but it's not what it used to be. I just did a weed inventory a day,

and I found two bags of weed in my closet that I haven't even fucking touched. I mean, they're not a lot of weed. It's good weed. I gave something to Mike today, you know. Most people don't have an inventory. Oh, yeah. You have an actual inventory.

I got written down. You know, you got to know what's there for the fucking. I got to prepare for the winter. I didn't think it was written down. You just have enough to have an inventory. I got it written down. I know how many fucking A, BX, C, B, C, B, D tablets in that bag. I started with $6,000.

Oh. They're down to like $1,800 now and shit. Well, you just, every time you eat to eat one, you just write it like a little thing on the little check. And when I eat four, I put five. I put the check across. Go look at that notebook. 10 pages.

It looks like fucking... Do you do like a date? Like you should do like a whole journal, like an edible journal. Yeah, just an edible journal. I gotta see what I'm eating. What you ate, what you thought of? Dog, listen, guys,

you know the sad thing is and people could laugh and whatever the fuck it is? We weren't getting high in L.A. We were way past that. The edible count and everything else count in L.A. was not existent.

I could sit here and tell you guys what did we smoke last night? I did two bong hits. She smoked a joint. Yeah. I did two freeze pipes, maybe three freeze pipes. That's it, guys. I don't need anything.

I've been threatened to take out the big freeze pipe, the bong, the king of the bongs. Who are you threatening? You, because I want you. My dream is Felita be doing a bong hit and eye just flies out. Oh, that's going to happen. We have to take the eye, put in a baggie, drive him to the hospital, and then they'll give him the honorary fucking iPatch. He'll be walking around with an eyepatch.

his jew is uh jew his eyeball of being a little glass or whatever if you're looking good if he needs to look into your asshole then he'll put the other iron to focus if he needs to look at your clit make sure you haven't got to run over by a fucking hot wheel you know oh but you were talking like about hash earlier like we smoke ways that haven't been around in 20 years like the hash under a glass that we used to do we're getting fucked up that hash we used to oh and people were trying to do it but the hash would melt and they would go, what the fuck? Because you got that shitty hash.

We had the one-eyed Jew direct from Israel. That shit was the shit they gave to fucking the Palestinians when they capture them. Dog, the weed I smoked today, that's the shit that Alex Jones smoked when they got the tab. That $48 million, since he got that, they just gave him a joint of this. He took a hit of that and he gave it back and they looked at the tab. Bring it back. It's one of zeros. Bring it back a little bit.

A lot of fucking zeros, guys. But I wanted to fill a lot of people in what happened in L.A. It was here I could tell you what the fuck I eat. In L.A., I can't even tell you. You couldn't. I was thinking about the day with the banana bread. Which one? Well, it was one of my worst days

because I didn't play it like I should have, you know? And that's just to let you guys know. I used to go to this one fucking weed store and they had banana bread. It was Russians. These motherfuckers gave our best. bagels at 7.30 in the morning, and they would have city workers in front of it. It was, you could only write this shit.

Nobody ever busted him. Nobody ever pulled over. I don't know if he had a license or not or whatever, but he did have some cool people working in there. And I would go in that, and he would go, Joey, three customers came in today and two of them bought you banana bread. Butter for you? Yeah, he would tell me after the fact.

Like after I went up there and dropped my 200, then he would go, Joey. By the way, somebody, and I go, why'd you let me buy these four if I already got fucking two? You know, like that's the way our life was. There was a pit. When we first started rolling, like by 2014, 13, 12, everywhere we were going, there was a bag of weed for us. Okay, and wherever we went, whoever gave us a bag of weed,

we didn't want to let their feelings down, so we did whatever we had to right there. I still remember Auntie Dolores in San Jose. Oh, yeah. When I ate the 500 miller. gram brownie and I almost had to I almost died they had to bring me a chicken sandwich because I was right about to go on stage yeah and just everything took over me and I'm like why would I eat that I'm like bro when you're on war you got to have that uniform on you know what I'm saying we were at war

I used to go to open mics high because I'm like Joey's gonna have me go on stage high so I have I have to be I have to be and and that's the thing because here's here's the card that I will give you we can't do anywhere near the milligrams I used to be able to do. No, me neither. But I could handle it. Like, I'm just, I'm so used to like the feeling of being high.

Like, I don't think I would ever freak out or like, I might fall asleep. But I'm not going to like freak out or like lose it or call an ambulance. Like I, I'm like, oh, okay, I know what this feels like. Well, before it was over the top. I mean, come on guys. Who eats mushrooms, 2,000 edibles and a half a hit of acid.

that's who we did you know that's that's that's one week of episodes that was the one week with dean delray when you got sick that night yeah that wasn't necessary i felt horrible that night i felt horrible that night i felt horrible because that wasn't necessary the poor kid was asked me are we in the hospital because in the office he kept asking me are we in the hospital he would talk to me and he would look at the lights and go we're in the hospital on the mic there were blinds that reflected onto the tv screen so it would come in and out of consciousness and it looked like I was looking out of like a window in a room and I was like I'm like I have I hope I'm not oh yeah we had fun though dog we had nights we had guests that were

tremendous we had people that were tremendous we saw Lee got to see some shit that you know from actors popular actors well-known actors Lee got to see some shit that was like you know and It was an education. It really was an education for Lee, and it was definitely a fucking education for me. And I got to tell you, man, I think me and Mike had these conversations when we started doing the podcast,

and I told Mike specifically, and he didn't understand why. I'm like, I don't want to go there again. I don't ever want to go to that podcast again. It was great. You know those things that when you do, they're great while it happened? I mean, if you sit down slash and,

and Axel and talk about, you know, the three years they were on the road. It sucked. I bet it sucked. I bet they had a, you know, a lot of money. And it didn't suck. You know, they got their dick sucked.

They got hammered. They did drugs. They made money. I mean, that's what it means to go on the road. That's what it means to go on the road. But when they went home that day, when they got on the plane, they looked at each other and go,

and they don't talk for a year after you've been together for three years, you know, Zizi Top, all those bands at one point. went out for so long that when you land, you're like, see ya. You know, we're not talking at all. Don't call, don't write. Tell the manager, when you're ready to write a lyric, tell the manager to call, and you're like, listen, I ain't ever writing a fucking lyric again.

So it's like, but when you look for all those guys, I would love to interview Jimmy Page about the 77 tour. Now, not in 78, where his perspective was a lot different. Now, now I could look at my comedy what I did in L.A. and go, why? It was fun, it was scary. I'll do it again, but do I want to? No, I don't want to go to that place again, that 80, the fucking, you know, the 90s were great, the early, but I got to live like this weird, like I went from just an open-mic comic to like a comedy store comic to just a limbo for five or six years when I realized what I really

wanted to do, and then I locked in. So it was a long fucking time, a lot of thinking. you know. And it wasn't forced. A lot of thinking, a lot of planning guys. And it gets old. It gets old after a while. I look at these guys that I came up with Bert, Joe, all these guys.

They're still out there making it happen, but they're not 59. They're not 59. Bert's getting close. You know, Tom's getting close. Joe's up there. I think Joe's birthday is maybe this week or next week. I don't fucking know. He turns whatever, 55 or something.

But it was when I was about 58, 57. was when I start to feel it. And I wouldn't have felt it, guys, if I didn't have a family. If I didn't have a family, it wouldn't have mattered. I would have been dead by now from the road. Like I told Terry, if we wouldn't have mercy, she would still have a great job,

and I wouldn't have came back on Tuesdays or Mondays. I would come back and do four podcasts and then leave for two weeks. What am I coming back for? Right. I don't have to take it to swim meets or anything like that. I want people to understand that. That's part of the whole thing. You know, Mercy was the one that was like that.

I don't like this no more. It's not fun anymore. You know, it's fun, but not really. I don't like you gone that much. And that weekend with Bert, when I got back, that was the end. That was the end. Well, even just her coming down to watch TV with us last night,

if you were gone, she can't do that. Even if you were at the store, you would have been gone. Listen, I missed a daughter's growing up already. There was a daughter's life that went by and I didn't see it. I was not going to do it again. And not to stand up. Right. You know, not for stand-up.

I already did everything I wanted to do. So what I had? I hung out three or four more years, five more years, so I did an arena. And then what? Start from scratch. I was ready to move on, man. To take my life in a different direction,

help other people maybe. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But that's, you know, that's what life is about. And I have accepted it. You know, I told my wife today I'm comfortable in my skin again. I'm very, very comfortable in my skin.

I know what my mission is. I got no mission. It's like that commercial with Snoop Dog and the guy from 22, whatever that show was on that I did. Oh, 24? No. What's that? He has a commercial with that young kid now, and the kid goes to him. So, Snoop, what are we going to do?

And he goes, no plans is the best plan. And the guy's checking his phone. Yeah. He throws his phone into the bucket. Oh, I missed that one. Yeah, I did that show. What's his fucking show on Fox with the kid from Signing Out Live? Adam Sondberg and that fucking hook face, they went over there.

Brooklyn 9-9? Brooklyn 9-9. Now you're fucking known. It's like the Joey Diaz trivia game. Yeah, the chick that contributed to the Joe Diaz is a bad guy campaign and then fucking took off the campaign, Hookface. Well, she fucking, she's in that show too. But no, I'm happy life change.

I'm happy we're here. I'm happy we can still do a podcast. We're still brothers in arms. You know, that's it, motherfuckers. It's a beautiful fucking Wednesday. It's laid back, and this is us two years fucking later almost. We stopped the podcast two fucking years ago. Like in July, August.

It was August. We left it because we left. August 19th. But it was two weeks before that. So it might have been like today. Yeah, it might have been like today. I don't know what day is today. to then, yeah.

And if you look at our last podcast, was it Pauley? Well, it was Polly, but we went in and recorded it and then put up Pauley from a couple years before. Who was the real last podcast? Might have been Sam. Was it Sam? That was a good fucking podcast. Yeah. The Lysol can that had coronavirus in it.

Oh, Jesus. Yeah. And then the new ones that came out didn't have coronavirus in. He's like, I told you something's not going on. Fucking Sam. That's one dude I missed. A, BX sent me up last week. and they go, are you coming back to hell anytime soon?

I go, nah. And they go, because Sam's doing comedy chaos and we're the sponsors again. So I was like, man, that would be fun. Go on a Tuesday, fucking do the early show. That was a fun night of the store. That was a fucking fun night. And listen, guys, listen,

if we all went back to the store for one of those Tuesday nights, it would be great. But at the end of the night, we would all walk away and go, that was different. Right now, I want those memories just to sit in my mind.

Right. The store, the church, I want those memories just to sit in my mind. It's like I told my wife and your girlfriend last night that things happen sometimes. Nothing is worse than somebody going, we're going to reboot something. And then you see it and you go, uh-huh. First of all, we rebooted the church. Everybody would hate us because it's not the same. We're not the same people.

We think differently. we don't have the same people around this. I mean, you know, and it just wouldn't work. We both evolved from that. Mike's evolved. I've evolved. I mean, I can't.

I don't know what to fucking say. I wouldn't know what to do, you know. It all happened naturally. We never, like, and there's no, this is no hate to any other podcasts, but some podcasts try to have, like, the fun that we had. Some of it feels like, oh, this is the podcast. We didn't always take edible.

We took them a lot. But, like, we took edibles just because, like, it wasn't, it wasn't, like the show wasn't an edible show. It was like we were taking edibles and having fun. It wasn't like we were going back and forcing, like, oh, let's take edibles, let's be crazy. No, it wasn't like that at all.

Because, to be honest with the people, we were doing edibles every day. I mean, we're talking about the rides we took and how we made it to these places. We went to Harris in San Diego. I couldn't even fucking see. I was so high. All I could see were lights and shit in front of me.

You know, we went to, we used to go to Earth. The night before Thanksgiving, that was always a 200, 300 milligram, two-eighths of weed down there. We just threw it on the table. I still remember getting Yoshi high on the fucking banana bread. Oh, that's a great one. You know, I have not heard from him since.

He's never spoken to me again, poor Yoshi. We took him back to Japan. He was flying through the fucking air with swords and shit. I'm happy you came down, Lee. I love you, boy. You're more than welcome always to come down and hang out and have a good time with us. And hey, we're here.

We're still making it happen regardless of what the fuck's going on. Don't forget to go to Amazon order. Tremendous. Tremendous. Story of a Comedy Savage. It's still pre-order. And that's it. That's all I got going on.

Tickets are sold out in New York. Do not buy a ticket over $40. Do not buy a ticket over $40. Do not buy a ticket over $40. Do not buy a ticket over $40. Don't be so stupid. They're $400. Save your money.

money. You don't need to see Joey. Joey will add more shows later. We are not making Ticketron rich. We are not making Ticketron rich. We're doing a fucking Pro Jam all over again. Fuck Ticketron. Charging $4 $4 for working class people that I put those tickets at $40 fucking dollars. I hope

you guys know that. $40. That was perfect. Two years, that's 80. 20 for the babysitter. Hopefully she's missing her hand. She can't chase the kids. You know, it costs like 50 for a fucking babysitter. But anyway, you know what I'm saying. That's half price for one hand? Do not fucking pay over $40 for those tickets.

I'll be back. I'll be back. Trust me, what I'm telling you. Have a great weekend. Thank you. Thank you, Mike. And now for a word from my motherfucking sponsors, Jack. All right, I want to thank you guys for the support.

I want to thank Lisa Ayat for coming in today. But I got to thank you, motherfuckness, because you're the goods. That's how I look at it. Anyway, I got a little something for you today. the joint is brought to you by Blue Chew. Listen, confidence to take you far in life. It could also help you in the bedroom.

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I want to thank fucking Blue Chew. I want to thank who else we got to thank here. Oh, BetterHelp.com. Got to take care of your mind. And I want to thank True Classic T-shirts. They're fucking tremendous. I had one on today. You see how nice it fucking looks.

I love your cocksuckers. Say goodbye, Lee. Goodbye, everyone. Thank you for listening and watching. Can you believe this fucking guy? Stay black. I'll see you Monday morning. It's your fault.

It's your fault.