The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #190 | STU FEINER | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ
Episode Date: August 17, 2022It's Wednesday, August 17th… Today we catch up with our friend, STU FEINER! https://www.instagram.com/stufeiner https://www.twitter.com/stufeiner https://www.stufeiner.com/picks This podcast is AL...WAYS presented by ONNIT! https://www.onnit.com This episode is also brought to you by Factor, Blue Chew & DraftKings… DRAFTKINGS Bet $5 get $200! Support the show by downloading the DraftKings Sportsbook App and using the code JOEY. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 1-877-770-STOP (7867) (LA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA/MI/NJ/ NY/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. N/A in NH/OR/ON. One per new customer. Min. $5 deposit and wager. $200 issued as eight (8) $25 free bets. Ends 8/20/22. SGP Opt-in req. Max. wager $10. Max winnings vary. Min 3-leg SGP. SGP must lose to receive up to $10 Free Bet award. Exp. prior to start of final UFC 278 fight. See http://draftkings.com/sportsbook for details. BLUE CHEW Visit https://www.bluechew.com and use code JOEY FACTOR Go to https://go.factor75.com/joey130 and get $130 Off! Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #DraftKings #BlueChew #Factor #StuFeiner The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... https://spoti.fi/unclejoeysjoint
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What's happened, you bad motherfuckers?
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Thank Bluetooth for sponsoring the joint. Let's get this party started. I've been talking too
much. What's happening? You bad motherfuckers. Uncle Joey here. Welcome to the joint.
August the seven motherfucking teeth. It's a beautiful goddamn day to be alive.
I want to talk to you guys. Listen, I'm getting fucking older. You know, as you guys could tell.
The problem is I don't have no young people. I don't have. I don't have.
I have no old people watching me.
Old people think like I'm a fucking joke.
We probably got a couple of 50-year-olds on Patreon and stuff like that.
But the viewership or the people who listen to this show are usually between like 20 and 35.
That's my big fucking audience.
That's why people always want to jump on me and ask me how I attracted such a young audience.
Like that's the beauty of this whole journey that I don't have old people coming to see me.
It's not like I do a show and people come dressed up in suits with hats.
and their wives are all dolled up.
Those savages go to like fucking see Jim Gaffigan or something like that.
Those people don't want to see a fucking savage like me.
But I feel at times, like even at my age,
what I've always wanted to be was to offer a voice,
like an adult voice that isn't your parent.
It's not your uncle.
It's not some fucking boss at work that's trying to groom you
to be a butterscotch maker, whatever the fuck they're trying to groom you to be.
but what we have here is just a guy that wants to spread some of his fucking knowledge
and a lot of people discourage me uh discount me because uh the felonies and stuff like that
to me that's been my strength all the fuckups i had when i look over that book i go wow
i'm not a funny guy i'm a fucking survivor i figured out how to fucking survive you know
and when you see other survivors they fucking you you look at them and go wow that dude's a
fucking survivor. A ton of things
have happened in his life and he still
wakes up with a fucking smile on his face every day
ready to tackle the day. I
spoke to some guy a couple weeks ago. He sent me
an email that he had been down that he doesn't leave
his house. He's 54
fucking years old. He hasn't left the house.
He's had a lot of debt in his life
and I'm like, everybody's had
their own personal Vietnam.
Everybody. Everybody.
You know, like the man says, every hooker
got a hard luck story. I'm a
hooker. I fucking appease to you guys.
to sell tickets.
I'm a hooker.
I'm a fucking hooker.
And I know that.
But when you see people who are survivors,
they fucking inspire the fuck out of you,
regardless of what's coming out of their fucking mouth.
You know, regardless,
they're doing something that might help you someday.
You're not looking at it like that now,
but one day you'll,
some of their knowledge,
you'll go, holy fuck,
this is what this guy said.
This is what Joey said.
This is what Joe Rogan said.
This is what Joe Rogan said.
Tom Seguer. We've been through it.
So, and a lot of people,
when you've been through something and I sit you down and go, hey, man, I've been through this.
Let me tell you how to get out of it.
You look at me and go, I got a better way.
And then you fail, you know, that's what we're here for.
And I'm not going to say to you, hey, you fucked up.
No, it's just we have a better way sometimes.
Hey, listen, I don't know how to change a flat tire.
I don't know how to paint the fucking house.
I don't know a lot of things.
But I know one thing.
I know about life.
I told you motherfuckers, L.A. was getting bad.
Where are we now?
I know the streets.
and I know what motivates and what gets people fired the fuck up.
And when I look at Stu final, like the first time I had Stu on the podcast, I got a lot of shit from people.
Like, you know, he's just noisy, he's just loud.
That's what you see.
That's the first thing you see and you can't get past it.
What I see is a guy that had, he was a millionaire and a bum 10 times over.
So obviously he knows something, okay?
you know at night
Stu sends me his picks for the fucking week
this guy is money
I get picks from a lot of people
like people go hey look at this game
or you know
Stu is fucking money
those $20,000 bets he has
are no fucking joke
I gave one to Lee I go Lee
how much you win he goes
I only bet $15
I go Lee the guy told you the bet
$20,000 all minimum
fucking bet on this shit
the guy is that good
but it's not only that I'm
excited about him
It's like what he's doing now.
You know, he decided to do a fucking cleanse at 61.
I mean, just the fact the guy's smoking blunt says 61 has to tell you how much out of his fucking mind he is.
But he's good-hearted, he's a good family man.
That's a lot of people don't see.
When you see guys like Stu myself, you're like, oh, these guys are fucking out, fucking around all day.
No, that's the image we give you.
That's the image we give you.
When people get to meet me, they're like, Jesus Christ.
You know, I went to this party Saturday.
and he's a young kid.
He came over and he spoke to me.
I saw the lady who threw the party yesterday.
And we were talking and she goes, you know,
my nephew was really shocked by you.
That he goes, you were very quiet,
you were watching a game,
you were playing with your daughter.
He thought that it was going to be a smokadone.
He was shocked that you weren't high.
He fucked up.
I was hot.
That's the only way I would have gone to the fucking party
is stone to the gills,
but I put Vizine on and my eyes already used to it,
You know, I did smoke some fucking tremendous yesterday.
And I had to go to get medication at CVS.
I took two fucking rips of this shit.
Do you know I had to pull over before CVS guys?
You guys know me a long fucking time.
I had a pillow.
My eyes, guys, look like somebody had poked me.
I thought it was a UFC fighter that kept poking me in the fucking eye.
Both of them were bloodshot.
I kept hearing a hum in my head.
I'm like, I got to pull the fuck over.
I pulled off for like seven minutes.
I drank my water.
And then I went to the fucking parking line.
I walked into CVS.
Thank God there wasn't a line.
I walked out of there with nobody even saw me.
But I fucking was like, holy shit.
I'm fucking stoned.
Like I'm getting stoned again.
Like remember high school stone where you got stoned
and you immediately had to eat something and that type of shit?
But again, because I smoked pot, people discredit me.
People go, well, he doesn't really know what I'm talking about.
Well, guess what?
With no fucking college education and that shit,
I made it all the way to hear.
So obviously we knew something.
And for me, it was my heart and my balls that overcame a lot of things.
Trust me, my heart and balls got me into a lot of problems also.
But at the end, it did a lot better for me than not having fucking balls, you know.
But without further ado, I don't want to talk no more shit.
I, you know, Stu came on today.
We did a Zoom, which I know you motherfuckers don't like.
But again, who gives a fuck what you like?
Look at what he's got to say.
Look at what he's got to learn from.
And maybe you can apply one of his things to your fucking.
in life. We have no fear. We don't give a fuck.
Like he said, listen, we don't give a fuck if you shut the lights out. Cancel me.
They tried. Remember a couple of years ago? Well, Joe Rogan laughed.
The other day, I had to do an interview with a newspaper.
A reporter called me out of the blue. He goes, I'd like to get your take on something.
We were talking about stand-up, you know, stand-up in a woke culture. I think it's
some guy in Texas, Houston. And he goes, there's something we have to discuss.
He goes, I read into this whole thing.
What the fuck was that?
And I go, guys, till this day, I can't realize what that was.
That somebody saw a video from 2012
and tried to attack me and Rogan.
But the funny thing was like they were throwing Rogan under the bus.
It happened.
With Spotify happened.
There was the Spotify people, the jealousy in the air.
And they tried to talk, Rogan was laughing at my joke.
If you think about that now,
Who the fuck got pissed at that?
I know who got pissed at that.
And I know who lit the fire to try to fucking get us down.
But guys, it ain't going to happen.
For all you motherfuckers that want it to happen, suck my dick.
It's never going to happen.
We're here, and I'm calling the fucking shots of when I leave or when I come back or whatever.
I don't play that shit at all with you cock suckers.
And that's my thing.
I don't give a fuck when I go on stage anymore.
I'm going to say things that are going to offend people.
I'm doing it on purpose.
I'm doing it on purpose
All these other Jackoff comics
Try to be cute
With doing it
No, no, no
I'm not gonna try to be cute
I'm telling you
I'm fucking doing it
Because I don't give a fuck anymore
It's free rain out there
You want to be woke
That's your fucking business
Take your woke ass down the fucking corner
Or take your tranny ass down the corner
But in my motherfucking world
You ain't cancel nobody no more
So go cancel Mr. Big
He was back on the equalizer last week
So what did you fucking accomplish people
You accomplished nothing
You don't know what really goes
on.
You let somebody from 20 years ago come at you,
not even knowing that situation.
Not even knowing her credibility or his credibility.
You just believe in them.
You know what I'm saying?
Go fuck yourself.
Anyway, enjoy Stu Fine, the cocksuckers.
I'm not coming back after word.
It's going to close up and we're going right for the sponsors.
I'm going on vacation next week.
We might have a podcast for you on Monday and we might not.
If not, we'll be back on the 29th.
I think it's a 29th Monday, Monday,
the 29. But don't forget
get your fucking Draft Kings
Download the Draft Kings
Fantasy app because they're doing, I'm learning
about fantasy this year. Anyway,
now, it's too fine. Enjoy. Enjoy.
Have a great weekend.
Welcome to the joint, Tarzan.
What's up, my brother?
Look how good you fucking look.
How many pounds have you lost?
Well, I got up to
220 and then, but I
started the 52-week transformation
at 210. Now I'm 192.
half, seven weeks. You look great. You have a glow to you.
It's never too fucking late to be a savage, brother. You are.
Isn't that the fucking truth? Holy shit. You know, man, I told you, when I look at your pictures,
you have the best Instagram, one of the best, it just never ends.
Thank you. Not the Instagram, the Twitter, I follow you. I think I got you on Instagram,
but Twitter, you are fucking hilarious on that. The food, the kids,
they're yelling yesterday. You were yelling off the top of your lungs. I'm like,
This fucking guy is never going to die.
He's been yelling like that for 40 fucking years.
Wild.
It's wild.
Listen, I mean, that's my son's best friend, Harrison, that cooks the food.
And it's so easy instead of ordering out or instead of deciding what I'm going to eat for the day, it's right in front of me.
And I can pick and choose from, let's say, the chicken meatballs or the ground turkey stuffed and peppers or the salmon or the shrunk.
or the shrimp or veggies.
So it gives me a lot of choices.
And then, you know, I'm like I'm so motivated right now.
It's crazy, Joey.
I'm up at 4 a.m.
waiting for the fucking cracker dawn.
I go downstairs, have a cup of coffee.
I have my banana.
And I have my shoes on.
And I'm just waiting to walk out the fucking door.
And it's like a slow jog into a sprint, into a fast walk.
So I either do a 6.1 mile per day or 10.8.
day and now I'm in a group.
Now I'm in a group.
I've done over like 213 miles and I did a 10.8 this morning like it was butter and now it's
much easier because when we had that heat wave, I'm waking up at four in the morning.
It's fucking 90 degrees.
So the minute I go outside, I'm sweating my fucking dick off and I put the glide on so my
ball sack doesn't get rubby or my thighs don't get rubby and I'm ready to roll.
And it's great because it sets my day the entire day like the
The 10.8 miles takes me about two hours and 45 minutes.
And then the one point, the six takes me, you know, like about an hour 30.
But, you know, it just cleanses me.
So anything that's on my mind, any negative energy, anything that's really bothering me in my gut,
whether it's my family, you know, my kids, my wife, my father, business, whatever it is,
You know, I get it out in a positive way instead of stuffing it or I used to use the carbs or the sugar or the marijuana and then that would get me in a fog where I would have to constantly eat the smoke or do the carbs or do the sugar to keep that level up or the caffeine.
Like, I'll be honest with you.
The main thing I miss the most is unlimited coffee.
Like I drink a Starbucks French restaurant.
So I only am allowed at three a day.
One at four in the morning.
one right after the run and then one right with my eggs.
And I miss that.
I'm telling you, I love my caffeine high.
I love that coffee.
I was drinking like 10 to 12 cups a day.
Now I'm down to three.
But it's a different lifestyle.
You know, I'm trying to do a one-year transformation.
I want to get down to between 150 to 155 pounds,
which then that'll give me ability to run marathons at will under four hours like
it's butter.
and I'm going to try to do a triathlon.
Not the full triathlon, but it's like a 13-mile run.
It's a one-mile swim, and then it's like 40 miles on the bike.
And that would be my ultimate goal to do that, because that's the one thing that's on my bucket list that I never actually did.
But again, I'm just looking for 12 months of just clean, sober abstinence.
You know, when I said clean, sober abstinence, I mean no sugar, limited carbs, no cakes, cookies, ice cream.
and then no marijuana.
And then it's so much easier to live, to be honest with you.
Because, you know, look, we know, I still got a tremendous amount of problems.
Still fight with my wife every fucking day.
Fight with my kids.
Every fucking day.
Never a smooth day ever.
Just that's not life.
Life is problems and how, you know, you really handle the fucking problems.
So basically, I'm in a good groove right now.
And I'm handling the problem so much easier.
I'm not overreacting.
I'm not, you know, verbally.
abusing people because like when I, my first thing when I do my walk is when I start the day is,
I pray and I say, please God, give me this strength to be abstinent from my compulsive overeating,
my gambling, my drug addiction, my sexual behavior, my abusive language, my compulsive spending
and my selfishness. So I'm like, I have eight fucking addictions. And it's probably the reason
I haven't killed myself because I have a little of everything. So I never really had just that
one, then I would fucking be, you know,
three basing in the fucking corner,
you know, fucking whores, and I'd be dead already.
So I had a little of all the evils,
and then when I'm on the straight and narrow,
a lot of people say,
Stu, do you miss it?
I'm like, fuck no.
It's so much harder to fucking smoke a half ounce
about a day, roll seven blunts,
you know, fucking, you know, do an eight full,
and still have to act like I'm a fucking human.
You know what I'm saying?
Say hello to everybody do what I got to do.
So it feels good.
to be healthy.
It's going on seven weeks right now,
so I don't have that phenomenon of craving
where, let's say the first four weeks,
I'm jonesing, you know, like every day.
I'm just holding on for dear life.
The first two weeks, nobody in my family spoke to me
because I'm motherfucking everybody.
I'm like, get the fuck away from me.
What did you say to me?
They're like, Dad, I didn't say anything.
You know, and the only person that can give me pure joy
where there's no bullshit is my dog.
You know, dog is unconditional love,
hug it out with the dog.
Do you can lick its ass for 10 minutes and I let it lick my face.
I'm tongue in the door.
I don't give a fuck.
It's my door.
But, you know, I'm in a good place.
Thank God.
And we're going to, you know, we're going to fucking roll from there.
And I normally crash right now coming into the regular season,
my busy season, which is September through March.
And I normally have to lose weight, stop smoking pot, get off the sugar, get off the carbs.
And it's like it's a rat race.
Like, I can't do it.
Because once the season starts, it's just too stressful.
But now at least I'm coming in with like, I'll come in with almost 10 weeks under my belt.
And I feel positive that everything's going to flow.
So I'm looking forward to it.
And then I just went online now.
I saw that you, is this your first book you ever wrote?
Yes.
The only book.
I didn't really write it.
I helped Erica Florentine writer.
Jimmy Florentine's sister from, he used to have a show over at a barstool.
Oh, wow.
That's amazing.
Yes.
So you dictated it to him and he had to be wrong.
Well, I had to fucking outline it.
I had to cry.
You know, you got to do all that shit when you write a book because for like three years,
you rub your fucking face in dirt.
You're talking about your past and it's bringing you back and you're getting no feelings sometimes.
It's very tough.
The first fucking five, well, listen, I've been trying to write that book how I tried to quit cocaine.
I've been trying to write that book for 10 fucking years.
And it finally told me.
I found somebody who I could work with.
Very interesting.
I would love to do it again.
I would love to write a couple books about different things in time.
You know, I'm no fucking, what's that guy in Cuba that wrote the boat, I don't know, whoever,
that guy used to drink pinia colladas on the beach, not Shakespeare, Hemingway.
I'm no fucking Hemingway, but, you know, it's interesting to write, Stu.
and everybody has an ability in them
but if you keep buying books to teach you out of write
you're never going to be a right
the easiest thing I realize that for 10 years
just fucking throw away the books
and put paper put pen on that paper
right well let the notebook boo you
until whatever and then you start getting better
and better you know and next thing you know you know how to outline
I called authors I spoke to different people
it was rough it beat me to fuck up
to be honest with you.
It really made me a different person
because you're constantly looking
at your fucking life every day.
You know, right, no matter,
nothing really,
like you start comparing shit
and you're like,
you know what,
I couldn't wait when the book was finished.
And the funny thing was that
I had all the early stuff
as a pot smoker,
it makes you laugh
because now you see the effects of marijuana,
which I'm not complaining about.
But the book was very simple
from my coming from Cuba,
to me, about 2000 was when the book got fucking difficult.
Because I don't remember nothing.
I don't remember a fucking, I remember the longest yard.
I remember, you know, mad TV.
But what was going on?
There was so much going on.
Plus, there was so much cocaine in my world at that time.
I was trying to do comedy and continue a fucking junkie lifestyle.
There was the end.
You could see that the end would, either I was going to die,
Oh, I had a quick comedy.
There was no, I was starting to get jolt in my neck.
Like, every time I do a fucking line, I get jolt in the middle of the night and the next day.
So I knew something was going to break.
But the book has been a great experience.
I can't wait for it to come out.
I got one more month with legal, because now is when they ask you up, like they, you know,
now we're going into a different chapter, different, like there's three things.
There's like early life, criminal career, and then comedy.
We broke it into three things.
So by the time I got to like the criminal career and shit, you know, you got to tell what you did.
And I wanted the audience to know how bad I had it.
I wanted them to know how bad it really was.
I push it aside.
Then my buddies call me and go, bro, I give you credit.
I remember seeing you when you were 17 and you were raising yourself.
You were raising yourself.
I mean, that's never been done before.
You were raising yourself.
And so all those things, it comes.
Combined, like, I'm fucking ready, you know, you go through it, but that was the hardest thing.
It was 22,000 to fucking recently.
It was horrible.
So we had to take our time and research shit, but now lawyers are calling the people because, you know, they want to know if people are dead.
I can't be telling stories of robbing people in Harlem, you know, chasing some drug dealer down the West Side Highway.
You know, they're like a little scared.
And I understand.
So we've cleaned up some stuff.
Now we're about to clean up some more stuff, and then that's it.
But, Stu, I'm like, it's very, I don't know how it makes, what you're doing inspires me.
Nice.
You know, I don't want to quit smoking pot.
So that's my thing.
I'm not, let me tell you something, Stu, I'm not smoking the pot I was at all.
There's no reason to quit.
This is like two bong hits here and one fucking freeze pipe hit at night.
And I'm done once in a great blue while if I have insomnia, I roll a fucking joint.
Right.
But I haven't written a roll the joint in fucking months like that, you know, like I used to.
So I've cut down.
And people at home don't really understand what you're saying at times, how intense your life is.
This ain't no fucking joke.
If you look at stress and stuff, I think after I met you in 91, I clocked you at 10 years.
Because you were such a high-energy guy.
You can't continue that pace.
But people don't know there's a yin and a yank.
And guys like you utilize yin and a yank.
And guys like you utilize yin and a yin.
When we have the yang, we go all the fuck out.
But when we're off-cramp camera, we're laying down with our feet up,
batting the fucking dog.
People think guys like you and I are out at night eating somebody's assholes,
snort and coke, lighting their pussy on fire.
I mean, I'd like to do that if I still could, but I can't.
You know, so it's very inspiring what you're doing, Stu.
Thank you.
And I see what you're doing.
You're getting ready for football season.
See you're your best.
You've had a phenomenal fucking baseball season.
the last weeks
you've been totally on fucking fire
the last two weeks of baseball.
The totals, I mean, you know,
and it's hard what you do.
It's very fucking hard,
but I see the 30-year experience
when you give out your picks.
I understand now.
Ah, I see what this motherfucker is doing.
He's a savage.
Right.
So, I mean, like, with the thing I miss,
like, I miss rolling the blanche.
I miss hanging with my kids
in smoking because for me,
smoking brings me back
to a child again.
I'm fucking 61,
but I roll a blunt and I'm smoking,
I'm telling stories of people,
and I roll a second blunt,
I roll a third blunt,
I take a thousand milligrams of edibles
and people looking at me like,
are you fucking retarded?
What's the matter with you?
Are you high?
I'm like, yeah,
but I just,
I just love it.
I just love,
I almost love the act of doing it.
And the reason I had to stop,
it wasn't like God came down
and there was this cathars.
And it's like, wow, I'm going to be clean.
My fucking doctor put me against the wall.
My sugars were 460.
My A1C for over a year straight was over 13.
And he said, I don't know how you're not dead yet or how you haven't gone blind or how your dick doesn't.
It still works or how your feet haven't fallen off.
But it's only a matter of time.
You're just going to be walking around one day in front of your fucking kids and you're going to die.
You're going to just fucking die.
And ain't going to be bringing you to the hospital and saving you.
You're fucking dead.
And for some reason, it just hit me that it's a very simple decision when the power of that hit me.
Because it was either I was going to live or I was going to die.
And I was killing myself.
And damn straight, there's nobody that loves smoking pot more than me.
There's nobody that loves eating 15,000 calories more than me.
And just fucking acting like a child, hanging with the kids, bonding with the kids, acting like a kid.
meaning no responsibility.
You feel invincible.
There's nothing you can't do.
You can snort an eight ball.
You could snort a second fucking eight ball.
And then you're ready to fucking go.
You know what I mean?
And you're ready to roll.
And you and me, for some reason, God has given us the ability.
You know, we got 10 lives each.
We should have been dead, you know, 20 years ago.
But by the grace of God, God has given us the strength to come back from failure after failure,
catastrophe after catastrophe.
self-sabotied after self-sabotage after self-sabotage,
you know, we don't lose our enthusiasm.
You know, you know, they don't make them like you and me no more because you
could kill us.
We're coming fucking back, baby.
We're coming back from the day.
You know, you're the phantom sports, you're the phantom comedian.
I'm the phantom fucking handicapped.
It's like Steve Mahalik was the phantom bodybuilder, you know, after he did his steroids and
he did all his drugs and he fucked thousands of women got a fucking car accident and almost
died and he told me these stories and then it gave me the strength so like you're a power
example for me because now that you know like when i talk to comedians you're the comedians
comedian like not only do people fucking love you but the pros love you because like nobody ever
wants to go on after you that's all i that's all the fucking refuse to have like if you were fucking in
the room and they had to come on after you it was a nightmare for them because you destroyed the
audience. You know, like when you kill for 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 minutes and then someone
else comes on, you got nothing left. You got like even the little teeny parts when I saw
you in Atlantic City and you banged out like 20 minutes, I fucking die because I fucking love
you. You could fucking say hello and I'm like, because I fucking genuinely love you. You know,
I feel that we have a kindred bond. We have a kindred spirit. We come different stories,
different circumstances, but from the same place, you know, you come from Cuba, you're a Cuban,
I'm a fucking Jew, we both retreated like second-class citizens. We were treated like, you know,
like scum, you know, like people did not treat us right. And the reason I think we got balls
of fucking stone and a heart that won't fucking quit and a desire that, you know, I'm going to do
it because I've been to fucking hell. I've been dead already. Don you could fucking do to me, baby.
I've been to fucking hell. I've been fucking wishings. I wishings. I wish.
to die, couldn't kill myself,
couldn't fucking die. It's our story.
So, again, I'm an
inspiration to you, you're an inspiration to me.
So it feels good
that we bonded again. I cannot wait
to introduce you for your show
with the Sony theater. I'm just going to fucking be
screaming yelling. I'm going to be yelling,
so I'm going to lose my fucking voice that night, just
getting that crowd. That crowd's going to be so
hype when you fucking walk on. We might
have to have tenfold security because they might jump
on the fucking stage. You want to hug you and
eat your ass and blow you and feel the fucking
That's what's going to
fucking happen. It's going to be fucking insane.
We got a DJ.
We got weed coming.
They're going to give our fucking envelopes,
laughing gas.
I'm excited.
Listen, anything on, when they said Broadway,
if you know anything about anybody who grew up
in this area, especially in the 70s,
Broadway was everything.
In my world, it's Broadway and
Bergen-Line Avenue in Jersey.
Those are my two that I know every
nook, you know, every, I walked,
I used to live on 98th Street, and I'd walk to Times Square and watch movies with my godfather as a kid.
No English.
No fucking English show.
You have no idea.
When I think of fucking Joey Diaz on Broadway, even though it's my name, I think about walking down Broadway and seeing a big fucking statue of George Lasonby, that one half a fag James Bondi had for a while.
He came in for one movie in between, like, The Saint and Sean Connery or something.
that's what I think of.
Like, that's the pride I get in my heart.
Like, you know what?
Yeah, I did this.
This happened.
This happened.
But this is Broadway.
You can't take this from somebody.
This is a fucking Trump.
This is like when people said,
well, I saw, you know,
Paul McCartney last week for the small 800,
bitch.
I saw fucking David Gilmore do the solo
to comfortably numb on top of the wall
the Nassau Coliseum for $15.50.
Suck my dick and call me shorthy.
Don't get better than that.
For 15 fucking.
and dollars, you know?
These are things that I did that mean the world to me.
So Broadway, I've even started writing a little bit.
Like, I just, something inspired me a couple.
I said, I'm not going to put the notebook down until I get back from vacation.
Fuck that.
The other night I was like, let me break this down.
I want to give them a good show.
It's going to take time.
But, you know, it's going to be, every show is going to be better than the last one, you know.
And then let's see where the fuck it takes us.
Right.
Five shows.
That's going to be a good.
Amazing.
So, yeah, a man without a plan is not.
And then I got Philadelphia I'm releasing the night before Thanksgiving.
Okay.
And that's a great fucking casino parks casino.
Oh, nice.
I mean, I didn't want to do any casinos, but this one is exceptional.
The food is great.
When I go to Philadelphia, I mean, I'm from Jersey.
I'm from New York City.
But when I go to Philadelphia, I just feel like I'm one of them as crazy as this seems.
When people talk about Philadelphia, I take a little bit of offense in my heart.
When they call them animals, it's that.
Then I go, you know what?
I am an animal and a fucking savage.
Let me tell you how much I love Philadelphia.
And Mike will tell you, the last time I did parks,
I usually go in the back and get my head together,
drink some water, you know, make sure I don't have armpit fucking odor.
And then I go out and shake hands and see everybody.
In Philadelphia, I just put the mic in, and I jumped into the audience.
And I was out there with them.
You know how many people grabbed my cock in Philadelphia?
You don't mean?
There was a guy that came up to me and go, he goes,
mom, ma, this is Uncle Joey.
I told you he's got balls
and why he got, he said to his mom
he had balls, he kneeled, and
he grabbed my cock, and I don't know what to do
because I know the guy's not doing out of disrespectful.
He's just grabbing my balls
going, they're my, these are fucking balls.
I wish he could show him to you.
When you show him to my mother?
Come on, man, I'm fucking 58.
You want me to show my balls to your mother?
What is wrong with these Philadelphia motherfuckers?
On the drive home, you're left.
No security.
There was no security.
I don't need security in Philadelphia.
I don't need security in two places.
Philadelphia and fucking the Bronx.
I don't know what it is with Puerto Ricans.
They stick on to me.
I love them with all my heart.
I just went to the Yankee Stadium.
Two Puerto Ricans stuck on to me.
They walked me to my fucking chair.
That's awesome.
And nobody's going to mess with you.
I'm like, wow.
Well, they have passion.
They have the passion that you have.
They really do.
Philadelphia has major fucking passion in the Bronx.
Major fucking passion in Philadelphia, too.
I mean, absolutely.
I think Parks Casino is Barstool's
Singature Sportsbook.
I love him.
Yeah, I fucking love it.
I think that's a,
that's a signature sports book.
Great casino, great food.
The hotels across the street.
So if you got to chase her,
you know what I'm saying?
She's across the street.
Let me ask you a question,
Stu.
When the fuck are you going to write a book?
Well, I did write a book.
I have a book written.
Did you know that?
Yeah, it's called.
Yeah, it's called here.
Actually, I can.
So I released this right after the movie.
be true for the money and that releases. And then that was my, that was my book. And then this book
starts off. This book is similar to like your story a little bit where it starts off, um, where I'm
about to kill myself. I'm about to take pills and end it because I, my wife finally found out that
I owed like, you know, half a million dollars to friends, family, mafia. And I was jammed up and I told her
nothing about my position and I was balls broke and I was about to lose everything.
And then she found out not by me being honest and telling her.
So that that's how the book starts.
And it starts them all the way from the beginning to, you know, when I made it.
So in other words, it's a great story.
And I'm looking, again, similar to you, once you release your brother, I'm looking to write a
second book.
Now, my second book, I would want to continue with the Barstall's sports.
advisor's story in addition to doing stand-up comedy.
I always wanted to do one night at Westbury.
So that's 3,500 fucking place out.
You know, Big Cat and PFT and all the bars school people said they would come.
You know, I would pray to God.
My great sign it would be you fucking introduce me.
I just got an offer for the Paramount.
If you want to do Westbury, we could do Westbury.
Let's do Westbury.
I would love to do Westbury.
A night of comedy, like your pussy on fire.
Whoever likes that pussy on fire gets $5,000.
No, listen, we...
That's it.
And any gay guy that lights his asshole on fire
and puts a sparkler in it,
I'm giving you five grand.
We're going for big parties.
I'll send you this book.
No, just bring it to New York.
Okay, bring it to you on.
It's like you take your shit on the fucking toilet,
you smoke a drunk to an hour and a half for a roller coaster ride.
You know, I wrote it like a third grader because I'm a third grader.
I got 390 on the SATs in English and I can't spell shit.
And that's pretty much how I wrote the fucking book.
Pretty much like that.
I dictated it to one of my best buddies who did a nice job with it.
And, you know, and yeah, listen, I sell like at least 15 a day.
People love it.
I personalize it.
You know, they want me to do the 15, 15, 30.
So I say, hey, listen, tell your girl, let her let you eat her ass, liquor, clinton, fuck her.
You know, I'm saying.
And I always saw it, you know, my father taught me two things.
If you can't eat it, don't fuck it.
And no one ever got pregnant blowing your load in their mouth and their asshole.
So a lot of these guys out there now, like, I don't want to get pregnant.
I don't want to get a girl pregnant.
Hey, listen, so blow a load in the mouth and blow a load their asshole, you know,
and just eat the fucking pussy.
That's the fucking bottom line, baby.
Let's fucking go.
Let's fucking go.
I mean, that's really the bottom line.
Now, do you know about this thing that Barstool has called Rough and Rowdy?
Do you know what that is?
You explain it to me.
Okay, so, so like five and five, seven years ago, maybe eight years ago, ten years ago,
gay Portnoy used to go to this psycho place in West.
Virginia and it was called rough and rowdy you would have 20 fights three one-minute
rounds and you would get local people in the area with no experience at all to
just fucking murder each other three one-minute rounds 20 fights p.s like what are
we in so he bought it in 2016 and I think Barstool has put on 18 fights and most
of them are in West Virginia this one upcoming Friday
is in Huntington, West Virginia.
And it's the fucking most, it's the craziest thing ever.
You get 20 fights, three one-minute rounds.
They have midgets fight.
They have women fight.
They have these psycho fucking girls walk around ring girls,
waving their asses and fangs,
playing with their fucking pussies and their tits.
And then at the end, you vote on the hottest ring girl.
And then there's always a couple of major fights.
So this guy that I got very friendly with,
that works for them called Coach Duggs.
And how he got a job at Barstles,
there was a cartoon of a video.
There was a cartoon of him.
He looks like a coach.
And they hired him off of that.
It's the craziest thing.
This guy's like maybe about six to five hundred pounds.
And he's the main event.
And he made me his manager.
So we're fighting some guy in Canada.
We don't know anything about this guy in Canada.
All we know is he played fucking rug to be for 12 years and looks like a killer.
Now, my guy who's fighting dogs, nicest fucking guy in the world.
very determined, high integrity.
Not a killer.
Not a killer.
But he's trained his fucking dick,
every day goes into the gym,
throws up every day.
You know, fucking it's crazy.
So he's the main event Friday night.
And they sell like 50,000 pay-per-view events.
Matter of fact, they had Jose Conceco.
Remember the best, the baseball player?
They had Jose Canseco fight somebody at bar store.
This guy, Billy Hot Takes.
and Jose Canseco got paid like a million dollars and took a dive.
The first 10 seconds into the round, Billy went at him, and he fell, and the fight was over.
So it was crazy.
But he made a million dollars.
He sold like 150,000 pay-per-view events up like 50 bucks or something cycle like that.
So everybody made money.
So then now Dave puts up in the contract where you can't throw the fight, you know, you can't fix it.
It's got to be a real fucking fight.
But so on Friday, he's the main event.
And then the second main event is this girl, Alex Bennett, that works at Barstow Too.
She's a sweetheart.
Her and a mother have a podcast together.
And she also has a couple of podcasts with a couple of other people as great woman called Jordan Woodruff.
They do a great thing together.
And she's amazing.
She's dropped dead gorgeous, the sweetest woman in the world.
Her husband's father owns the Oklahoma City Thunder.
So no one even knew that.
She's working at Barstallery thing.
And she's like, you know, a grind.
I mean, well, she's a fucking billionaire.
But so she's fighting.
She never fought in a fucking life.
She never fought.
But she's been fucking training like an animal.
So those are the two main events.
And then you have like three midgets fighting, three men midgets.
And then you have girl midgets.
And then you just have crazy people because it's only three one.
No, they're crazy.
Three one minute rounds.
You go all out.
I was supposed to fight.
2018.
I was the headliner on my birthday.
January 31st in Miami
when the Super Bowl was in Miami
I'm training I'm gonna be the main event
I'm easily gonna make between
a quarter of a million to a half a million dollars
because the deal then was
I got a piece of the paper view
a big chunk and I moved the needle
similarly you move the fucking needle
doesn't matter what you do you can be taking a shit
in a corner taking a piss in front of everybody
the needle the needle move
Joey Diaz moves the fucking needle
let's go
you know what I'm saying you move the fucking needle
baby
You know what I'm saying?
Clit stand up and attention.
Fucking little nipples get fucking hot.
You move the fucking needle.
Men, women, children, den people come out of the grave.
Oh, I'm a needle.
So I'm fucking, I'm training like a fucking animal.
Training.
Throw a punch.
I tear my fucking bicep.
From here, it comes up to here.
Fucking done.
Done.
So wait.
Hey, Dave, what's the compensation?
Dick.
Dick.
No, no.
You don't pay for the operation?
Nothing.
Hey, Stu, it's the fucking fight game.
It's brutal.
So I made nothing, nothing.
So I get the operation.
Not only this, the operation doesn't go good.
I'm in a fucking brace for nine months.
Because my hand was locked in like this.
I had to wear a brace to open my hand up for five hours a day.
For nine months, hell.
I wanted to kill myself.
And, you know, I said, Dave, no conversation.
He's like, hey, Stu, tough break.
Tough break.
And that's the truth.
That's the fight game.
It's a tough fucking.
just like, you know, these UFC guys, they fight, they grind.
You get fucking hurt.
Your career's over before you made the big money.
Hey, that's the fucking way it is.
You know, Dave says, hey, Stu, I gave you an opportunity to make a quarter of a million
to half a million dollars if you didn't get hurt.
That's the positive.
The negative is your 57 and a fat fucking slob and you got a fucking hurt.
Big deal.
Hey, it's over.
You know, just like fucking David, Daniel White says, hey, I give you the platform.
You think I'm underpaying you?
Where the fuck are you ever shut to have your fucking face in front of?
the fucking world motherfucker.
Brind it out, you fucking, you stay healthy,
you make it. So,
um,
so now I'm a manager.
You know,
I'm a manager.
So I don't know,
like I'm gonna,
like our theme song to walk out for the fight is Hulk Hogan.
Say after we're done this,
I'm going to party city.
I'm getting a Hulk Hogan costume.
And I'm going to come out is Hulk Hogan screaming and yelling and then
hype in the place up.
And then,
uh,
it's so much fun.
You've got to come to the next one.
Obviously,
you're going away.
I think you're going to the North Carolina or something on vacation,
right?
Okay, so the next one I think is in November or something,
but it is so wild.
It is so, it's crazy.
It's like WWE or WWF wrestling, but real.
But they don't do it in Jersey and nothing like that, Long Island,
the rule, the law, state laws or something.
They haven't passed.
They won't allow it yet.
But eventually they will.
They won't allow it, correct.
But eventually they allowed one in Providence, Rhode Island,
which was the closest to Boston.
and most of them are in West Virginia,
Huntington, West Virginia,
all these towns in West Virginia.
So Huntington is right where the university marshal is.
So Marshall University,
the college where that plane went down
and killed like 200 people
and the whole football team was wiped out.
Yeah.
So in other words,
and then Matthew McConaughey made the movie about it.
So, yeah, so that's what's going on now.
So I'm so psyched.
And I'm like, so what I do every day right now
is I grind out with my voice.
I do what's called these stew finer shoutouts,
whether it's your birthday, anniversary,
bachelor party, you want to motherfucker somebody to death,
or I read the fantasy football lineup,
I pick the order and then I read it,
and then they give me some bullet points,
and I torch the fucking people.
And so I'm doing between seven to 20 a day,
diving off my fucking diving board.
It's 125 if I sit on the board and read it,
175, I dive in the fucking fool.
But this is, but this is like a three,
this is like a, I'm writing like 10,000 a week.
Yeah, it's like a part.
Three to four minute pitch.
So I have no voice.
At the end of the day, I'm spraying my voice.
I'm trying to figure, you know,
I'm over a hot fucking,
a hot, like, vapor thing,
doing his dick's vapor rug,
but I'm running it.
My greatest fear is to wake up with no fucking voice.
Because I'm done, like, kits on a bowl.
I'm useless.
What I, my dick, my dick right now since I lost,
like a little bit.
I, because I measure it, because I'm a stupid fucking, I'm a psycho, is six and an eighth.
When I was super fat, it was five and seventh eight.
So I gained like a quarter inch.
Quarter inch works, baby, you know?
Whatever, every little quarter inch works when you only got that, you know.
And then if I can't, they need more than six and a fucking eighth inch,
I got two fucking fists, motherfucker.
These fish go and little fucking fish, fuck you.
That's what I fucking do.
And if the fists don't work, I carry a 12-inch vibrator with my face on the end.
My tongue goes, eh, yeah, it hits that.
back for clitoris, or I swallow pink champagne, put it in my mouth, go down, eat the pussy,
and these little bubbles go, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and they hit the clitoris that stands
in attention, and they go, Stu, Stu, Stu, I love you. I never felt like this. Now I know what
I've been missing. I'm like, tell me some, you don't know, you bitch. And that's really how we roll,
so I'm excited. I'm excited. I am fucking excited when I talk. I'm excited. We're going to ask you something.
We're excited. We're going to ask you something. We're both around the
same age. We grew up in the city, when the city was the city, we grew up in this world,
when this world was easy to explain to people. Now, it's a whole world to explain the people.
And it's kind of weird for guys like you and I. And I'm asking you this just as a concern,
not because I don't give a fuck. And I could see, obviously, you don't give a fuck. Do you ever have
any thoughts of somebody might raise their hand and go, what the fuck is Stu and Joey Deer's
doing on the podcast.
They're all the gentlemen,
and they're out there yelling about it.
You got to eat somebody's pussy,
and you got to finger bang them or midgets.
I don't give a fuck.
You know,
you and I come from a time that I understand
that it's, listen,
a lot of BLM,
a lot of all this stuff,
I get it.
But I can't stop saying the word faggot.
Because I've been saying there
for 30 years, 40, 50 years,
and now you want to change the rules.
So there's all these rules that are coming up,
you know, by,
if you, who's over there looking at you,
Your son is over there.
I don't give a fuck.
I want him to say hello.
But it's so weird how you have any fear of this
that somebody's going to call a bar stool
and go, what this guy yelling about?
Because I love you.
I love it.
But in today's world,
but I also feel that there's three people
that you can't cancel.
And that's me, you, and Pete Rose.
Because we're going to tell you to suck our dick,
okay?
I refuse to let somebody judge me
that's not a fucking judge.
And I'm talking about,
the judge that put his hand on the chick's mouth.
He's the 20th circuit, whatever the fuck he is, Supreme Court Justice.
In my world, if he tells me to get off the internet, I will listen.
I fucked up.
But nobody, nobody got the right to fucking say, Stu Feinner, we got to get him off.
I put a minute on, I got offended.
How do you feel about this, Stu?
Well, I mean, obviously Dave Portnoy loves me and unconditionally has my back.
you know, barring me going off the rails where I would hurt the company, I can get away with murder.
I'm almost untouchable.
You know what I mean?
I'm uncannable.
We're all the same.
But, but that's not the case on Twitter or on Instagram or on Facebook or on Snapchat.
Let me give you a perfect example.
It's so amazing you said this is perfect example.
Saturday, Saturday, my buddy buys a breathtaking car, brand new, refurbishes like a 1957 old screen.
breathtaking car.
Well, you know, buys the car for 20, puts 30 into the car.
Okay.
He puts the car online.
And I look at the car.
And my exact comment, write to him right under it is, I want to fuck you and eat your
ass in that car.
Immediately, Facebook suspends me.
I cannot post for three days.
And now for the next 30 days, well, now it's the next 27 days.
They put my feed at the bottom of everybody's post.
So in other words, I have to adjust because I do not want, like they've pulled down my Twitter twice already with a hundred and some of thousand followers.
I'm shadow banned everywhere.
Like I should have a million to two million followers on Instagram and Twitter, but similar to what you're saying, because of my sexual content, because of the rage I come at people, which absolutely can be misgued as being a psycho, as threatening,
somebody as being in someone's face, they don't get my intent.
They don't know my intent nor do they care.
They just blatantly do it.
So I have to be extremely, extremely careful to not be taking off Twitter or Instagram or
Facebook or Snapchat.
I just gave you a perfect example.
Now I'm restricted.
I'm Shadowbin where I do not go into people's feeds.
Like my content, a lot of times, unless you actually come to my page and click.
your my stuff does not pop up in people's feeds so they they what's called shadow banned me they always had they always did like my my key my key saying is I will kill your bookmaker that doesn't work no more can't say it because the word kill they're taking literally where I don't mean it literally I mean it figuratively you know I will win money for the client and and hurt the bookmaker and that's a euphemism for kill can't use the word kill no more
Even my 15, 1530, where I think on the prior podcast, I told you, I created the perfect hour of sex.
15 minutes eating ass, 15 minutes licking, clit, 30 minutes fucking, you can't hold your load, bring a vibrainer.
I can't get away with that no more.
You can't say it.
People cannot say it online.
Cannot say it because, again, I don't even know it, but they shadow ban everything.
What happened with Dave Portnoy where he got accused by these business insiders, these low-life piece of shit scumbags,
accused him of stuff that he pat they were patly false it was not true he's suing them but but now
his feed his feed does not go into your feet he's shadow bad now so in other words when you say to me
do i give a fuck um will it change me no but i have to be careful with what i say i literally
have to be careful because my message won't get out as it is my message doesn't get out only in like
11% of people's feeds.
So it does suck.
But when you say that to me,
you know,
I understand what you're coming from
because the content is,
you're saying it to your asshole buddy.
You know,
just like Joe said,
hey,
I want to call somebody that
because it's his fucking birthday.
You know,
I love the guy.
Like,
I can call my friend up,
my best friends and say,
hey,
your wife's over here
fucking blowing me.
I'm going to be over your house
about 10 minutes
let her just clean up.
They know what that means.
That's love.
That's fucking,
you know,
you could say that to your asshole buddies.
You could say that to your best friends,
but you cannot say it to the world
because they're going to take it literally
and they're going to say that we're a bad influence on people,
where it's the direct opposite.
We're showing people that you have to have a sense of humor.
Don't take yourself so seriously.
It isn't a literal representation.
It's figurative and we're comedians.
But again, you know, the walls are coming in us.
Very squeezed.
We're sweet.
We're getting squeezed.
We're literally getting.
squeeze. There's no issue about that.
Really is. I'm not getting squeezed. I understand
we're also businessmen.
So Facebook shut me down like three times
this year so far. One for 30.
I'm thinking of taking it down
because Facebook don't do dick for me anyway. It's just a bunch of people
from school or whatever you communicate with. They don't
reach out. So, you know, it doesn't
I don't want those people involved with what I'm doing in a way.
But Instagram. Oh, my God.
Facebook owns Instagram.
Right. So, fuck on Instagram.
That scares me, but Instagram is my bread and butt.
You know, I like Instagram.
Right.
They take down all my weed stuff.
Right.
But there's a chick sucking a dick there.
No, you know what it is?
Twitter, there's two chicks that suck dick all day on Twitter.
Very subjective, very subjective, who they enforce and who they let slide.
When I smoke a blunt and I show it on camera, for the next month, my calls, my feed,
And my views are 80% down because of the marijuana, like you just said.
Because in certain states, it's still not legal, and they don't want that to the general consumer.
You know what I mean?
It's almost like they really should have two Twitters and two Instagrams.
They should have an Instagram for 21 and under, which you and me, we would know how to play that.
And Twitter and Instagram 21 and over where just anything goes.
Everything goes.
Let's fucking go.
just like an R-rated movie or an NC-17 movie.
You know what you're getting.
You know what you're getting involved with.
Let's fucking go.
But that's not what we do.
So unfortunately, especially the way we do our content,
they judge us as a three to an 11-year-old could be looking at it,
being influenced,
does not understand the message,
does not have the skill set to understand where we're coming from.
You know what I'm saying?
And then, you know, that hurts.
That really does hurt.
So, you know, but I love Facebook.
because like, like you said, those are my friends.
They don't, they're not on Instagram and Twitter.
No, they're not.
My friends are not on Instagram.
Those are, you know, those are the people that are our age that are not internet savvy
that have no idea and they just want to click on.
You know, so a lot of things that I do, like my motivational message, my motivational speeches,
my eating clean, my running videos, my telling people, you know, the way out is the way through.
Disagree, set free.
Don't never let fucking tell somebody tell you they can't do it.
Fail you have to fail.
you don't lose your enthusiasm.
That's a positive message.
But they destroy when I motherfucker people and I do words and I get a little,
you know, I get very edgy like you do.
I go way over the top.
I cross.
There is no line.
I'm fucking in your fucking wife's bush.
I'm eating her ass.
You know, so in other words, you know, so it's, it's, it's, uh, I have to walk a very,
very thin line, a very thin line.
I don't like it.
It, it inhibits me certain times, but I don't have a choice.
You know what I mean?
I don't have a choice.
choice. I'm not as big as you to be honest with you.
Yes, you are, brother. You're a fucking
these kids
down the block from me at Olnito.
Every time I see these motherfuckers,
they ask me about you.
So I'd surprise him the other than said,
he's going to be doing the shows with me. All of them.
All of them. He'll be there. You can talk
to him, whatever the fuck. He's dancing.
He's taking off his... Whatever.
These guys are so excited to meet you.
I thought they were excited about meeting Bert.
They were like, fuck Bert. We want to go.
It's too fine. I'm like, okay.
You can come see fucking still find it.
But no, we're, uh, now I'm starting to get what I'm doing finally.
Like, I'm starting to, you know, I was reading some jih Tzu thing about training when you're older.
And they're like, you know, you're in there to set an example some days.
You know, you, like I do the warm ups.
I don't care if my knee hurts.
You know, I get there on time.
And all. And that's all great in Danny.
And that's what I'm trying to do with the podcast now.
I've always been like you.
Don't believe the fucking hype.
You can do whatever the fuck you want, even with felonies, if you put your mind to it.
They'll tell you you can't do it.
In prison, when you get released, they ask you if you want to go on disability,
because the felony will hold you back from being anything in your life.
You sign that paperwork.
You're dead.
You're living on 800 a month for the rest of your life.
Yeah, I know.
Until you end back up in jail, because that's what you've committed to being a felon.
When I got out of there, even now, if I order a, if I got to go apply for a job,
I don't even know what you're talking about.
Do you have a felony in the last three years?
I don't know nothing.
And then let them come back to me and go,
well, we did a background check, Jose, you got a felony.
That's great.
That's for a guy who has a felony,
and where's that as Superman?
I don't give a fuck.
I got it as a reminder to let me know.
I'm never going back there.
But I'm not laying, I'm no laid down Sally.
I don't give a fuck what they tell.
You got to keep pushing forward.
And that's our message, which is positive.
But every once in a while you get some fucking jerk off.
And you got to suck your dick, boom.
You're canceled.
Twitter.
On the other hand, I got no complaint about Twitter.
Mike has been my dear friend for years.
He knows what I post on Twitter.
If they're going deep in my Twitter,
they're going to find some shit and fucking,
but I don't give a fuck.
I'm not going to make up an excuse.
I can't make an excuse.
You know, I love Osama.
What's his name?
Obama's wife.
I fucking love her.
I haven't seen her lately.
She was getting big.
But for a while there, I really like her.
I think she's attractive with the mouth, the whole thing.
And one day I wrote on there,
I'll suck the black hair.
I think of a pussy and fucking, oh my God, I got like hatred.
But I'm just saying how good of a looking of a woman she is.
I didn't mean nothing.
But if somebody sees that now from 2016, which I'm letting you know is on there.
I don't even give a fuck.
Go.
Do what you got to do.
Right.
It was like a cut.
You gave her, you gave her literally the ultimate compliment.
Women love to be compliment.
That she was so gorgeous.
Fuck that you would want to literally be with her.
I'll drink the champagne, the pink champagne.
I eat up pussy.
I'll fucking spit.
I'll do everything.
But they took that literal as an affront to, you know, the first lady,
and they thought that was demeaning and degrading where that's the direct opposite of what you did.
What do you mean the first lady?
The first lady like cock, Jack.
They all like cock.
The other first ladies were just 100 years old.
They weren't, you know, Nancy Reagan just say no.
She don't want no cock.
You know, that poor bitch.
She didn't even know what the cock was when she was in the fucking white house.
I heard she was sucking Frank Sinatra's dick.
I heard that.
I don't know how true it is.
100% true.
When Ronald Reagan used to call in,
because I read like five books on Reagan and on Sinatra and on Nancy Reagan,
she loved his dick.
She loved it.
I mean,
I wasn't there.
Let's get something out of the way.
Everybody likes Sinatra's dick.
I guess that's true.
Everybody,
every fucking woman.
Right.
I'm saying the audience.
True.
That's true.
That is true.
I know.
I know you're doing great with fucking baseball right now.
When does your football package start?
The 10th of August?
Of September?
Yes.
You know what it is?
Because preseason now is very shaky because five years ago, preseason, they played for real.
And they wanted a win, but now they don't because they added a game to the NFL.
So preseason is very, very shaky.
So I still get out preseason, and I'm still going to long games this weekend.
You got games Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday.
I'm going to go for it.
But it's just not, people don't like to bet it as much.
Right.
Years ago, I was able to sell it, and it was great.
But, yeah, September 10th starts the first football game and we'll be ready to roll.
The NFL is going to be fucking amazing.
Amazing this year.
College starts when?
September 10th.
College also?
College starts August 27th.
Oh, shit.
That's coming quick.
That's next Saturday.
Yeah, it's like 10 games, 12 games, and then you got your Labor Day and then you're full,
full blown, baby.
Where can these Saturdays is?
Do you have anything for this?
Saturday's UFC to Big Card on Bush and on draft?
Kings. I normally give out the UFC for free. I don't really sell it. You know what I mean?
Like if you buy the package and I have a selection on and I give it for free, but as a rule of
thumb for me, UFC, underdogs. Fucking underdogs. The favorites don't cover. They rarely cover.
Like, I mean, obviously when Khabib's fight McGregor, you're betting Khabib because he fights bears
and he's a psycho and he's never lost and he's never going to lose. You know what I mean?
like the certain people.
But most of the time,
if you bet the underdog,
the entire card,
you bet all the dogs in the UFC,
they're going to make money.
You're just going to make money.
And you make money with the underdogs.
Because those fucking favorites pay $10.
And they got great props, too.
A lot of these places,
different books,
have great props.
Like,
I won a fucking handful of dough by mistake.
I bet $20 on,
like, a pool that Moreno
would knock out that dude last week.
Two weeks ago.
It was like $20.
to win 150.
Wow.
How can you not fucking go with that?
So there's always little side things.
Right.
And I love bet the underdogs,
because it's exciting.
You know what I'm saying?
You bet the favorite is supposed to fucking win.
It's fucking easy.
Right.
But, yeah, so I mean the underdogs
would be the way to go in UFC
on an overall picture, overall picture, yes.
You made my Tuesday.
I'm happy.
I fucking listen.
I love you so much.
We'll do another one before the show on the 17.
Get ready for football season.
And then when I get back,
I want to go over the bar stool.
Yes.
KFC's ready for you.
Not the fucking,
not the week before Labor Day,
because everybody's thinking about who gots.
After that,
we're kicking it forward.
I got some other things,
and we're going to make those shows
in New York City a fucking trip.
And they're all leading to your movie theater in Westbury.
All right,
let's do it.
Some other comics and we'll do a nice little fucking...
Okay.
That's how we do it, brother.
And you get your bucket list.
I'm doing it for you.
I love you.
Because they just offered me to Paramount.
I said, no, not yet.
But if you want to do, we could do it.
Like next June?
I can do the Paramount, which I'm ready.
No, not the Paramount.
The Westbury.
That's where you want to go, so let's make your dream come true.
Done.
Westbury.
June.
I love you.
I love you.
Stay black.
Don't forget the Yamika, brother.
I love you.
Stu has the only Yamagas that's got a thousand dollar bill hidden in it.
You know what I'm saying?
Ah!
And a condom.
You got it.
I love you,
Joe.
Stay black.
My best of your family, your wife and your children.
Thank you.
Vice versa.
Thank you for being a great friend.
You got it, Tarzan.
All right.
I want to thank Stu fine.
but most importantly, I want to thank you fucking savages
for always supporting the show.
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