The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #191 - Joey Diaz, George Garcia and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: June 30, 2014

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt are joined by the host of MMA Junkie, George Garcia. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Hulu Plus. Visit Huluplus.com/joey for an extended free trial. Dollar Shave Club. Use promo code CHURCH and get high quality razors sent to your door. Escapepodtank.com Mention Joey or the Church and get $250 off. Recorded on 06/30/2014.

This show is sponsored by Dollar Shaveclub.com. Get high-quality raisers sent to your door every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail. Now, go to Dollar ShaveClub.com slash church. That's Dollar ShaveClub.com slash church. Or just go to Joey Diaz.com and click on the Dollar Shave Club banner. This show is also sponsored by On It. They have all of your nutrients, your supplements like Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech Immune, Shroom Tech Sport. Go there and use the code word church to get 10% off.

And lastly, the show is sponsored by EscappotTank.com. They're already going to save you thousands on sensory deprivation tanks. But if you go and mention the church of what's happening now, Joey Diaz, anything like that, they're going to save the additional $250. Millions! Millions! They'll fucking save you, cocksucker, on a Monday morning. Hit that, Leo. Hit that shit up, Lee, Cocksucker. Wake up, cocksuckers!

You bad motherfuckers! It's time to wash your pussy, scrub it. Do what you need to do. It's Monday. June 30th. It's over. Get the Chinese guy to deliver the fireworks. The 4th of July is fucking happened.

Mad Flavor, Lee Syatt, kick this motherfucker Lee. Wiggle Cocksucker. Monday, June 14th. The day the devil went down in flames. Fuck that cock sucker. The church of what's happening now. Oh shit. Oh shit.

What the fuck you penalty, say? What happened to you last night? You said you're going to call me back. You never called me back. I fell asleep. No, I fucking, I didn't fall asleep until like midnight or something. I couldn't fall asleep. I was tired from the night before.

Last time I called you said you were going to sleep and you called me back and you never called me back. I was with my bitches. What's with the questions? What's happening, you beautiful motherfuckers? Monday, June 30th. We're here. Finally. Shit.

Where the fuck you've been, Joey? Listen, lately. We've been doubling up on the podcast. Guess come in. Wednesday, Mondays, you know, I gotta do my shit. I can't do 10 fucking podcast a week. You'll be mad at me. But there's a great weekend in Pasadena.

Lee came out Saturday. As usual, he was stoned to the fucking gills sitting there like a fucking mope. And I kept saying, Lee, you gotta get up. He wouldn't fucking, kept looking at the potato chips. Oh. No, it's tough. The fight of three quarters of a green horn. I was fucking gone.

But no, it was a great time. Everyone was nice. Both shows were sold out. You know what? It's really nice. I always, in this town especially, I always, if someone's nice to me that doesn't have to be, especially, like, I watched Dom Herrera and fucking Seinfeld. If I had gone into how much my mom, my mom probably every episode of Seinfeld memorized.

And seeing Dom Aura, because he was young in Seinfeld. And he was so, he was nice, he was messing with me, and it was a lot of fun. So it was great coming outside of it. Everybody fucks with you, like. Oh, yeah. Well, no, but it was, it's just, it was, you expect someone like that

like you go in and say hi and he's in his phone he has a posse he was the nicest guy no he's a nice guy he's a great guy man it's amazing that he was here last week and you know the podcast was a little weird because I was looking at him and I'm looking like John or ever thinking to tell myself this is one of the guys I

it's not idolized I don't know if that's the word but I watched him he guided me in the beginning I guess that's the word like I watched that I watched that tape Lee I can't even I tell you, it's embarrassing. How many times I watched that.

You sure, to me, one of the first times we hung out. Yeah, it was something that, it's your blueprint as a comic. Like, everybody has something different. Like, when they're a brick mason, they go to some book and when somebody's in like, I don't even fucking know what I'm saying. All I do know is when, you know, when I first started comedy, I didn't know. It's not like you go up to a comedian and ask them a bunch of fucking questions.

So what you have to do is just watch. And that was the tape that was hot to watch. Those were the hot guys, you know. You know, when I started comedy, there was so much comedy on television, it was fucking ridiculous. MTV had two different stand-up shows. A&E used to have a stand-up show. Wow. Fox had a stand-up show in the mornings with Rosie O'Donnell hosting.

There was so many different stand-up avenues to go to, you know. I remember watching Felicia Michaels. In 1992, I remember sitting there in my room and watching Felicia Michaels on Comedy Comic-Cazi. You know, and you thought that they were big then, that there was more exposure for a comedian back then. So why to go away? Because I think people got, you know, stand-up went mainstream. Stand-up went so fucking big for a while.

So I think that there was just too much stand-up on television. I don't know what the fuck happened. But when I first started, I mean, there was Sunday morning comics with Lenny Clark. He took over for Rosie O'Donnell. There was that kamikaze. I think MTV had two different stand-up shows. And I used to see all those guys, man,

whether it was Felicia Michaels, hangar of Mr. Cooper, Tom Rhodes. I remember saying Doug Stanhope on fucking Evening at the Improv. Evening at the Improv was on A&E. That was on A&E, and comedy on the road were on A&E. So every week they went to a different comedy club in the country, and they shot a top comedy special with the top comics from that area. Wow.

So it was pretty interesting. They would go to Tucson. They would go to Houston, Texas. They would go to Colorado. It would do great now. I'm surprised they're not bringing it back with everything they redo. You know, somewhere along the line, the stand-up agenda went somewhere. It was really funny this weekend.

Two things were fucking crazy this weekend. I went to the beach yesterday. That was great. You used to go a lot. You used to go every weekend. Listen, man, there's no reason to live in California. unless you're going to go to the beach. If you really fucking think about it,

if you really think about the purpose why you live in California, why don't you pack up tomorrow and go back to Boston? Yeah, I mean, because it's fucking cold as shit. Yeah. You know, even there. Well, the ocean is nice. But the thing, listen,

I went to, I was in jiu-jitsu, maybe nine months ago on a Friday night. This one I could go at night. And one of the girls went to North Hollywood High. And I heard her talking. You know, my name is. Deborah, she's very nice. She's a young girl

19, 20, and she went to, and I couldn't even fathom that. Like, I couldn't even fathom that. Like, I drive past that school eight times a fucking day, and I never even looked at it and fathom or something. Like, somebody going to school there. Like, my cousins went to school here.

Okay. You follow me? I have friends that went to school here. I can't fathom that. Yeah, it must be weird. Like, it's weird. So I heard her talking, and I heard people from, like, Michigan and somewhere else talking, and they were saying that Sunday they went downtown. It was a nightmare. It was some type of fare. There was a lot of traffic. And I heard her go, I don't know what the fuck you people even do that for. You live in California.

The weekends are for the beach. And it really fucking dawned on me. I really started thinking, I'm like, she's right. You know, she's fucking absolutely right. So this week, I can't sit around here no more. I just can't leave. I can't fucking do it. If you know anything about me, man, I need action in my daytime. You know, and there's days I get up, and I hit like a kettlebell class, and I run here. But there's weeks in this fucking business that are just brutally slow. And today I have shit to do. But for the most part, like by Thursday, if I don't go on the road, it's fucking brutal around here. You know, I have things to do, but the gaps are too far and far between.

So I have something at nine, and then I have something at one. So I can't even get something in between going. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So what I do is I push it all to the afternoon. and we leave here at 8 in the morning, and that's what we're doing Thursday. We're getting the fuck out of here at 8 in the morning.

That's what works. You know, we called, somebody called us last week and said, do you want to go to the beach on Saturday? We're like, yeah. Sunday, but the problem is they want to go on to the beach until 11, and they were going to see a fucking beach, which is all the way down by fucking Long Beach, which means you don't get on the sand until 1230

if everything goes correctly. Right. You know what I'm saying? I can't go for that shit. I like to go on the beach, get it over with, Catch the sun before lunchtime, and once 12.30 comes, quarter to one, you're fucking out of there.

You're done, and you're back on the way back. So that's what I did yesterday, and it was just amazing. Just to sit out there, just to sit out there for one fucking hour, took away everything. Like, just to listen to the ocean for one fucking hourly. Like, I couldn't even focus on stand-up.

I couldn't focus on the podcast. I couldn't focus on my future. I couldn't focus on the book. I couldn't focus on anything. I was trying to think of it's here. And I couldn't. The ocean wouldn't let it. It occupied my thoughts.

And just to see, it's amazing the strength and the power of the ocean. Yeah, it's scary. I lived in Colorado. I lived in Colorado. I used to go to the mountains and you sit there and you can actually feel something from the mountains. I know you people sitting home going, Joey, what the fuck are you smoking this morning? No, I'm telling you right now, when you live in Boulder and when you live in Aspen and when you go to Vail and you hike and you get up to those mountain tops when you just shut the fuck up and close your eyes. You feel something.

You feel this energy, this weird energy, like you're tall. You know, you feel something. It's the same. That's the reason why you live in those parts of the country. You know, that's the reason why you live in those parts of the country to enjoy them. So it's, it's, you know me Lee. You know I fucking hate driving. You know I fucking hate getting the car on a Sunday and driving.

But to go to the beach, I always, I don't mind it. The only thing that sucks is you got to go down to Panga Canyon. That's the worst. And that thing I get dizzy Mercy always get sick So I hear her going I go Terry turn around

Terry turnaround Why? She didn't eat nothing Terry turn around She's gonna get sick I could tell I even was doing 10 down the mountain

People were going by me flipping me off I didn't give a fuck I didn't want her to get sick But she gets sick all the time So I got to go the other way I got to go up sunset And loop up fucking the 405

Which wasn't bad It wasn't bad Let me tell you some The beach is a great fucking place It really is And I always forget the power of the ocean. When you just sit there and look at the ocean for a little while

and I was fucking around on stage, people who look at whales, I don't look for whales. I just look for the ocean. I just want to see where that wave originates and what it brings in. And I always look. I don't see, wait, wait up, fucks a little. I'm awake. I don't see no fucking sharks.

I never see no fucking whales. You know what's really cool though? When they take them whale watches out here, especially right in Marina Del Rey, like there's dolphins out there. So I went on once, and like, dolphins follow the boat and they're doing flips. I have videos of it on my phone. It's fucking amazing.

You should take mercy. They have like hundreds of dolphins just like right underneath. They must know the boats are there and people must give food or something. And they just follow the boat. When you go out on it, like I love going on boats. It's fucking cool. I like, I forget, you know, you forget how much you enjoy. So that's the fucking thought.

Do you go in? Yeah, I fucking won it. I went up to my waist. That's fun. Mercy of the fucking water knocked the road. He was yelling at the ocean. pissed off at it She was yelling at a duck

But it's just great If you fucking live here, man You gotta go down there But then the other thing But I had to talk to you guys about is It's real important I talked to you about this When I got arrested

When you get arrested You don't know what the fuck to do You know, you really don't And I kept getting arrested for little things So I knew to keep my mouth shut When I got arrested for the big thing I didn't know what to do either So I kept my mouth shut

you don't say nothing. And when you get locked up, it's funny, Lee, you get put in a cell with people for three days. And I love these people that go to jail, and they're like, yeah, I got a new homie. This guy just murdered somebody. Right. What are you talking about?

Your new fucking homie. You don't even know where this guy's from. It's amazing how fast criminals click. And when I got locked up that time, I knew the rule, shut your fucking mouth, sitting your trailer, whatever the fuck it is, you're bunk and don't say much. I didn't say nothing.

You know, and I listen to people's stories and people want to talk to you. But there was one particular guy that was really interesting. And I watched him for a couple days. And he was, if I was 27 or 26, maybe he was 33 or something like that. And I started talking to him. He was from New York somewhere, Karnasi. Really older guy, you know, whatever.

You know, when somebody's not your age when you're 25, everybody's older, you know. Well, that's how least it was to me. If you're not 25, you're fucking an old man. So to me he was a little older And we started talking And he had told me what he had done He had gotten caught on a On a drug thing

And they came to him And they told him that the people He was dealing with With big people Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah So he knew the area really well So the feds had gotten involved In this case

So he told the feds That he could buy 10 kilos of coke Or some shit Do you know they were the feds? Yeah he knew it with the fucking feds This is after he got arrested Oh, okay, okay. The feds came to him, and they told him it was like 20 years, blah, that he had to make a buy.

So he fucking was out on the street, and he told the feds, I'll do the buy fee if I stay out of jail. I mean, it was fucking brilliant. And he made the feds driving to a house. They gave him cash. And he walked in the front of the house, and he had his buddy waiting from the back of the house. And he left through the back door, and he escaped. He escaped with the feds money. I mean, as smart as the fucking feds are, this is you people know.

all this shit. You know, so you people don't think that it's all like NYPD blue that they catch and all this shit. The feds drove him to the gig. They had other cars there. He went through the front. He did something. He jumped out the back window and he had a friend waiting for him back there with the money and the blow and they left. And they called him two years later. Took him two years? Oh yeah. Yeah, two years. That must have been a fun two years. And he was telling me how, you know, you always keep them. I didn't know the logistics of being and say. And he goes, you don't rat, but you give them something to keep them that you might. And the whole time you're buying time. What this is all about is buying time? Jiu-Jitsu is about making a space.

It's creating a space to get back to your guard. When you push that guy away, you're slipping your knee in there. So you create space. And that's the same thing you're doing when they have you in that room. You know, you're not giving them no information. You're not a rat. But you might throw out there that you know a guy that's got 50 kilos in his house. The deal is right. I'm going to ask you something. It's not meant to be offensive. But I just...

If the guy, obviously, it has been a criminal for a while. Right. Like, to me, hearing it, like, why are you taking advice? It's like taking weight loss advice from a thousand pound person. Like, why would you take advice,

like, life advice from someone who got caught and is in jail and, like, a criminal? Like, that sounds like a terrible idea. You become a better criminal when you go to prison. Okay. Because now you listen to 10 people tell you how they got caught. I got that, but weren't you trying not to be a criminal after that? It wasn't that I was trying not to be a criminal.

I'm just trying to survive now. Okay. Your goal is to stay out of jail. Your goal is to keep making money. That's your goal. Okay. You're not going to rat on nobody. You know, when the guy that led the Middle East Cartel,

the guy that ran the Melanchard went to prison in New York. And he became friends with all the smugglers. One of them being the guy, George Jung, I think that was one of his friends that did blow. Yeah, it was. That's it. That was one of his friends that he became friends with who taught them how to smuggles. When you go to prison, you learn from a mother, if you have six convict friends, they'll tell you their story. And you will be blown away on how they got caught.

And you learn things to avoid. So when you're in the drug business, you hang out with people that are in the drug business. That makes sense, yeah. Inside jail and you exchange information. If you ever go through here, don't go through that, you know, and you get away. It's amazing.

It's like going to college for criminals. It sounds like that Tom Cruise movie where he woke up every day and just had to do things a little bit differently. I can't imagine having the mindset where you're like, jail is just a way you go. It's like monopoly jail. You just stop there and you don't go the same way again last.

You're going to get out and do it again. Like, that's a crazy mindset to have. Lee, when you make the choice, when you look me in the face and go, Joey, I'm done. I got a thousand customers I could sell Coke to. I'm a kilo guy, and I have ounce guys. And I ask you, what do you make a week? And you tell me like $30,000 a week. That's $120,000 a month.

That's $1.2 million. That's $1.5 million a year. Okay. In that, in your mindset, you know that there's going to be some. time involved. If not, you're a fool. If not you're a fool. If I tell you that after 20 years,

I'm going to go on stage and do great every set, I'm a fucking fool. I know the percentages that you're going to bomb. And a smart criminal, a smart human being knows percentages. And he knows odds, and he knows what the odds against him. Don't, doesn't the government take your money

when you go to jail? Yes, they do. So how, okay. If you have it out laying around. There's people that have tons of money when they go to jail, but they have it so hidden in so many different variations that you don't... Because you can't keep it in banks, because then it's done. You can't keep it in banks.

You can't keep it in safe the deposit boxes. You can't really, so you have to have a mom or an aunt that you trust, somebody that's not going to rob you that you're going to give some money to and they're going to hide it really well. You know, that's all you have. Fuck, okay. And then you have to trust. It's like me giving you $100,000 and only I'm going to wait.

I'm going away for four years. I have this for me when I get out of jail. Okay, you have to trust somebody. You have to have like a friend. Yeah. But you know if you're a good criminal that the percentages are, you're going to get nailed. When you have a talk with Gabriel Lacey's, he's the hottest comic in the country. He's a great comedian.

But Gabriel will tell you that he works harder now than he'll ever work because of this window. Anybody who thinks they're going to be Lewis C.K. forever is confused. Dane Cook, did you think 10 years ago that Dane Cook, you wouldn't hear from Dane Cook? No, that's crazy. Did you think that he got a pilot shot last year, didn't even air and got canceled? This is the same Dane Cook. But when you're that hot, you never think that this is going to end. Only somebody smart knows that this ride is going to end.

You know, when I got out of jail, I worked at a car wash, and I started robbing with this girl. I told the story on the podcast. We were robbed customers. They come in and when they pay cash, we took the cash from the car wash. Right. And she was the cash register girl. I quit that job. That was the first time I ever used my brains in my life was at the age of 30 because I knew eventually I was going to get caught.

And everybody did business at this car wash. So the word was going to get out. So I did something a lot of people don't do. I just quit. I quit while I was making $10,000 a week in there because I knew I was going to get caught. The odds are always against. So this was after you went to prison, right? This is after I went to prison.

You know, I was telling Josh Wolfe on the podcast last week with him that, you know, when I was doing Blow, I got attracted to the people who did Blow. Anytime a situation came which made Blow, I couldn't believe it sometimes. I could not believe it. You know, most people want to meet like a producer to put them in a movie or something. You know what I'm saying? I would meet people who dealt masses of money. amount of blow and would give me blow. It's ridiculous. But when

you're in that circle, that's what you fucking keep meeting. You know, it's just such a such a, so anyway, back to the story about this guy. He told me to fuck with them. He goes, fuck with them a little bit. You know? So, there was a situation where I fired

my first attorney because I got a court-appointed attorney. What happens is when you got arrested with three people, all right? And one of them, that's the first guy who Ask for an attorney. If he doesn't have money to have an attorney, they give him a public defender. That means now you're in the money because you can't have a public defender because it's conflict of interest.

So the state has to pay for a real attorney for you. So you always hold out. You never the first one to get the public defender. No, why I didn't get arrested first. Yeah. So Tidwell got arrested first, and he was a veller. So I came and last. So right away, I knew a public defender wasn't going to have me.

I was going to get a good attorney. So the state got this guy, Sunny Flowers, to represent me. His grandmother was the first black graduate out of Boulder, Colorado. The guy was a seller. I'm not saying this because he was black or whatever. The guy was just a seller. He was a black guy amongst 100,000 white people. He had to do what he had to do to survive as an attorney.

So the first deal he made at me was nine years, violent. Like kidnapping, too. And I was like, what are you fucking kidding? First, I kept putting it off because it was the holidays. He said, signed a deal. deal now and you won't have to do time until next fucking year. You won't have to turn yourself until next December. I was like, fuck you.

I wanted the witness to disappear. I wanted the witness to get in trouble again. The more the witness got in trouble, the more the witness had problems, I would, I would benefit to me. Do you understand me? So I knew. So the moral story is when after they, I fired the attorney, like January, I wanted to buy time.

So I went to court on a Monday to get a new attorney. They were going to appoint a new attorney. In the meantime, I was already meeting with attorneys. But it's a funny story. I went to court. And it wasn't Judge Belapani, the judge who sentenced me. It was a different judge. And the judge told me, he goes,

all right, you have three weeks to find a new attorney, blah, blah, blah. But my court clerk would like to talk to you. So she wants to get some information from you. So after the thing, go in the back. Okay. So I never forget that I sat down. Lee, I didn't expect this at all. It was a fucking shock to me.

It was a Monday morning. It was 9 in the morning. I probably did blow till 6 in the morning. I was out of it. I was just a walking zombie back then. And I went into the back chambers, and the girl came out and she goes, there's people here to see you.

And I didn't know what she was talking about. There was two feds. There was two cops there. And I didn't even know what the fuck they wanted. They introduced themselves, and they had a yellow man in the envelope. And they started talking with me, and they're like, listen, man, the DEA or whatever has information on you, and they started throwing pictures at me. Lee, it was pictures of me fucking not doing blow, but pretty much everything else around it.

Wow. Like from Colorado. They had pictures of me talking to people, exchanging, making exchanges. You know, they had pictures of me at a bar. I mean, it was fucking mind-bogglingly. It was... How long had they been following you? They weren't with me.

They weren't on me in Boulder at all. They were on me in Aspen in Snowmass Village. Okay. You know, this is fucking 30 years ago. This is 20-something years ago. Did I know at the time? I knew something was going on in Aspen because one of the girls,

somebody had approached me, and that guy came up to me and was very aggressive. That's how you know if people come with bad intentions. If Lysayat comes to me, and for a month he buys a gram of blow every day. And then one day out of the blue, he wants to buy a pound of Coke, something ain't right. Oh, okay.

You understand me. You already know this. You already know these things. If Lee comes to me three days in a row, the first time I meet him, and he goes, your Coke is fucking tremendous. Can I buy two ounces? That's a cop.

Oh, okay. Because they need two ounces, but they'll do multiple buys to make the court case a lot stronger when you go to court. So, undercover cop will always make multiple buys. Unless you're that much of an asshole, they'll sell them 10 pounds,

the first meeting. Okay. They want multiple buys because it makes that case stronger. So I knew that this guy kept coming to me, and every time he'd come to me, he'd buy a couple grams, cash, but he always talked to me about,

man, these people I know want to buy 16 fucking kilos. If you go to New York, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. You want to buy a gram or blow. You can buy a gram or blow. I got to get it from a friend of mine. I'm doing you a favor.

I wasn't doing you no favor, but this is what I was saying to him in case they're taping me. Right. You know, so all these things, they came to me, Lee, and they said, da-da-da-da-da-da. If you roll on this guy and this guy and this guy, you're done, you know. And Lee, I got to look in the eye like a man, and I'll look to podcast people in the aisle like a man. And at no time was I thinking of rolling.

Oh. At no time. At no time, but they even fucking rolled in my mind. Okay, were these good friends or like? No, they were just people that I knew. They were like, if you go out there and just bring us cocaine people. like give us your sources they were just fishing

and they were like we know who they are you know who they are you know with that fucking seven o'clock cop show mentality and I remember sitting there going okay

give me a numbers and I'll call you and I'll set you up you know I left there like I remember what that guy told me I remember what that guy told me he goes string them along so they always think you have something then blast them say you got a dick for them

let them figure it out from themselves because trust me, if they have something on your lead, they'll nail you with it. Well, that's true, but do you think they would have followed along? Like, if you had given up your sources, would they have let you just go? No, they were still going to give me time. Like, assholes, you know, whatever, if I would accept it the deal. But I could look you in the eye, and I could look at people in the eye, and you know I don't fuck around when I tell you this.

I had no doubt in my mind. And it wasn't because I was a tough guy. It wasn't because I was better than you elite. It's because that's how I was raised. I was raised that You don't know what the fuck they're talking about You don't know what they're talking That's something that

Was taught in me as a little boy Like when I was three Like that you don't rat You don't fucking tell nothing to nobody When the cops come You don't know nothing And that's your life You don't know nothing

And you know you just don't know nothing Because there's something that comes with ratting There's something that comes with ratting There's just something And I didn't know this when I was 20 at that time. I just knew that you didn't rat. I knew that the consequences were fucking that bad.

I knew that if you did something, you had to step up to it. I always knew these things. Whether I was going to do them or not, that's a complete different situation. But I tell you, when I walked out of that room that day, I was like, these fucking idiots, you know, just them to think.

Obviously, they didn't look at the fucking, They didn't look at the fucking background check, or they didn't look at my mental evaluation from the prison. They didn't do something. They didn't fucking do something because they missed the boat. I was, like, insulted, but I was happy. I was happy in a way. I'm like, these fucking idiots just showed me their hand.

And I was a young man. Yeah. I was a young man. I remember that I went back, and they called me once or twice, and they're like, hey, did you get those names? I'm like, listen, man, get the fuck out. Once I got my attorney down, and I bought my time, I told him to fuck off, and then they fucking didn't, they never even talked to me again.

But there was nothing in that realm, and there was reasons for it. There was something, just something. There was something that goes with being a man. Well, I get if it's like, like, if it's your friend, like if it was Loubs or one of the kids you grow up with you, like I get not turning them in. But like you've said before in the podcast, like, you didn't, when you were robbing people, you weren't robbing good people who were robbing drug dealers. and it comes with the territory

wouldn't sending the cops and them come with the territory like it just to me getting out of any prison time sounds great if there were competition at the time or whatever listen when you're on the street when you're and I hate using that term because people say oh my that's what the media calls it

when you're out there fucking doing shit that's illegal I don't care who you are you're always hedging your bets you know when I was a kid I had two cops I always talked Was I a rat? No. There were acquaintances of mine. I grew up with them.

One of my best friends, till this day, all of those guys that went the first night to see me, they were all cops. I grew up with two or three cops that I had dialogue with. Was I a rat? No, no, no, no, no. I had dialogue with them. Having dialogue with a police officer is completely different.

And you show me somebody who doesn't have dialogue because all those neighborhoods, you always have a friend that's a cop. Somebody you grew up with is a cop, and he'll come to you from time to time and go, hey, man, not for nothing.

What's up with your buddy Lee Syatt? Okay. Does he still fucking? Is he still snort and coke? Like, they'll say little things. And then you have to say something back to them. You grew up with them. You know that you can't get around them.

You stick up for them, but you do it very subtly. That doesn't mean you're a rat. You have information. There's information. Information is golden. You're not saying you're a rat. you know what I'm saying he'll say to me

hey tell your boy Lee to fucking lay down with those computers that cops know that he robbed the truck off to Route 70 or whatever you follow me and there's dialogue there I don't know what you're talking about sounds like a great line I mean

you follow me there's dialogue with every cop when the cops come to you in that realm is when I knew when I walked out of that room Lee I knew and Lee there was just I don't know. It was just, do me a favor.

Play that synonchos. This is a piece of my way. I love this song. I played on on Facebook this morning. A lot of young guys yelled at me. But I want you to hear what he says at the end. Blast this motherfucker. What is a man?

What is he got? If not himself. Then he has not. To say the things he does. truly feels you motherfuckers and not like the rest of these motherfuckers that are kneeling look of one who kneels and sucks dick the record shows i did the fucking blow and i did it my fucking way and that's what a man does that's what a fucking man does that's why people don't into senachia no more because there's no fucking men walking around if you listen to this shit every

fucking day. Every fucking day, you listen to this shit. You'll fucking be, that's it. Put it on again, Lee. Three fucking ten, three, thirteen. This is fucking Sinatra. This is what they listen to. Watch this. For what is a man? What does he got? If you don't got you, you ain't got death. What's the fuck you can't get dealing with here, huh? This Monday morning on the fucking church, I'm dropping fucking Sinatra. from my way. Just to get it in your head, motherfuckers. It's your fucking world. Why fucking wreck? I fucking hate that shit. I fucking always hated that shit, at least I had. Since I was, I can't understand. And years later, when I got to meet, I didn't get to meet Henry Hill.

Somebody told me he was at the comedy store. I was in the back of the comedy store. Okay. And somebody said, run up front. Henry Hill's here. And I couldn't believe that people were enamored with this man. I can't believe that tilting him. today when somebody, soon as somebody tells me that somebody rats, that's the end of it. That's the end of it. That's the end of it. That's the weakest fucking point in your life.

That's, that's it. Like, I can't, there's people I have stopped talking to. Oh, for fucking them telling something to somebody that I told them or somebody told them, you think I'm kidding you. I refuse. It's something about that principle of a man that I will not fucking tolerate. And it's funny that people get mad years later. Oh, well, he's a fucking rat.

There's a kid I grew up with that. Everybody knows he's a fucking rat. The whole neighborhood knows he rattled on people for years. And people still, when he comes around, guess who was around? This guy was around. I have avoided that motherfucker. And he was good to me when I was a kid, believe him not. He was pretty good to me when I was a kid.

Up to the time I was about 18 and 19. And then I found out he was a rat. And I couldn't have him around. and he ratted Danny Bunkulo out he ratted Kurt out he ratted so many fucking people and this guy till today people always said I mean oh he's doing well he's selling trucks

he ain't doing that well because he didn't have his friends he didn't have the respect of his fucking friends ever ever if you said something around this guy Lee you could gamble your ass off it was going back oh that's the worst I mean

luckily I have never been in like the criminal situation I get the point of not saying stuff your friends say What are you going to do? My mother-in-law got it for me. Your mother-in-law got it? It's not like Christmas.

But fucking if I had If I, for whatever a horrible reason was going to go to jail, a criminal I might have I get friends, but criminals I don't know if I could have done the same thing. We got a call come in. What's up, my brother?

George. Yo. What's happening, cocksucker? Not much, and you? You know, over here with Lee Syatt, fucking breaking his balls this morning over here doing a podcast. How are you, my friend? Ah, not bad. You know, yesterday hung out with my family a little that came off in California with my dad's 70th birthday.

So that was pretty cool. I watched a little bit of World Cup. I had a fun weekend and a lot of fights on Saturday, so I had a fun weekend. Let me ask you something. time did your family get up yesterday for the World Cup? You're one of those Mexicans that got up at seven and started yelling and screaming at 8.30, jumping up and down, Cocksucker? Yeah.

That's pretty much us. You know, the thing only comes around once every four years, so we go pretty nuts. But it's an all-day thing. You know, we watch both games, and tonight, today there'll be another two games. Regardless of who's playing, whether it's U.S., Mexico, Brazil, we just love the sport. It's crazy.

How about you, Joey and Lee? Have you guys been watching? Not a fucking wink. I watched a little bit. It was funny at the gym when Mexico won the game before. They were going crazy. But I watched a little bit of it. It's too...

I did like the first game of the World Cup. I was on a plane, and I really tried to give it a chance. It's a little bit too slow for me. But how crazy is Vegas right now for like this month and a half? They must be loving it. It's nuts. And there's this bar here called... McMullen's Irish pub here in Vegas that they've called themselves the home of the World

Cup, but especially fans of the U.S. men's national team. And it's a madhouse. I mean, they're breaking fire codes left and right. Every time the U.S. teams playing, they're packed to the gills. It's super loud. People are bringing in drums and whistles. I'll tell you what, I always tell everyone else, when you're trying a new sport, put some money on it.

You know, you don't have to be a baller and put a thousand, but maybe put 100 or 50 whatever you can afford, you'll definitely get into it then. You know, it's similar to hockey. There's not going to be much scoring going on, but there's an appreciation for what they're doing with their feet, their heads, their knees, their chest. Everything bought the hands, you know, in trying to guide the ball into the net.

Once it's there, everybody goes nuts. So soccer commentators in Spanish, their heads are going to explode because it doesn't happen often. So that's the beauty of it. Isn't it kind of hard to pick a winner? Like, no one picked the Netherlands over Mexico, did they? Yeah, I know, of course. The Netherlands have actually been a powerhouse in the sport of soccer.

So, yeah, that was kind of a... They were the favorite. Put it that way. I know that because I'm here in Vegas. Mexico is a traditional powerhouse as well, but I would say the Netherlands usually goes farther. They went to the finals in 2010, so that's no shock. They have great players there.

Wow, that says how much I know about soccer. I know nothing about soccer. I lived in a... I don't know. I grew up in... a time where it wasn't big yet. It was still growing. I didn't even know that soccer was being played in the U.S.

until I got married in 90, and the daughter I had played soccer in grammar school, whatever. That's how I knew. I didn't even know it was in the high school level. Where I went to school, we had tennis. If you guys ever get a chance, that it may be too late. You guys may have already cashed in your chest.

You know, your mind might be made up. But if you ever get a chance, to travel abroad especially. go to a soccer game, no matter where you are in the world, as soon as you check in your hotel and they say, what can we help you with, you know, and you're talking to the concierge, just say, hey, it's a local soccer team player,

especially if you're in a big foreign city, like Buenos Aires, Argentina, or Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, London, England, wherever, man, it doesn't matter. There's no way you'll have a bad time because just the experience itself is pretty nutty. But I think once you kind of get around the people, and like I say, just fine. you know, find a way to put 50 bucks on it.

You'll get into it. You'll figure out, you know, just how fun the buildup is, the buildup of the goal, you know, the passes that one makes to get to that point. And then either you like it or you don't. It's crazy. In 1994, I must have been six or seven years old, and it was in, there was a game.

I don't know if it was in only in Foxborough, Massachusetts, but there was a game in Foxborough, and my dad took me, but I was too young. So, like, after, like, ten minutes, I was like, let's go home. And I was six or seven, and I just couldn't. I wasn't old enough to go there. But even to this day, he'll make fun of me,

because we went to the World Cup. It was expensive. It was good seats. After I got the food and the foam finger, I wanted to go home. That was it. Well, too, this much, one of the biggest regrets of my life

will be not going to the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. I've been to Brazil many times. I love it there. But when I were going to host the World Cup, I thought, oh, my God, this is the trip of a lifetime. I went to the 2006 World Cup in Germany and had a blast. But I knew that I wanted to go

to one more before, you know, before I'm done, and I thought this would have been perfect. And every time I see those images of people partying, Copacabana Beach, whether you went to a game or not, just being in the country that hosts a World Cup or something else, I can't go to the next year because it's in Russia. I don't think, I'm not too interested in going to Russia, man.

I'd have to read the State Department, you know, their little handbook and see if it's safe to go to Russia or what, but I knew that in Brazil I would feel safe. I've been there many times, and I'm pissed. stops that I didn't go. It sucks. That's fucking amazing. That's amazing that I got up yesterday. I was headed to the beach and I drove by Big Wings and there was a million

people there. Oh, yeah. Like on a Sunday morning, like, there was just people and I didn't know this was this much interest. So that's why I live in a fucking, I live in my own fucking bubble, George. I don't even know what the fuck happens half the time. But I love it that, you know,

hey man, all the countries. So they do this every four years? That's it? Yeah, every four years, the big competition is the World Cup. So 32 teams come from all over the world. They qualify over the course of the two years leading up to it, and they narrow it down. And the top 32 countries go, and they bring, you know, they bring like 10 from Europe, six from South America, according to where the soccer's the, what the stronger teams are, and, you know, they want to make it a global deal.

And now they start to rotate the locations as well. So before it used to just do Russia, South America took turns. but South Africa got in it and then they went to well the Japan and Korea I think hosted one once so they're starting to spread it around. You play soccer in high schoolie? No I'm playing

when I was like six or seven but no I was never fast in high school they had soccer in the program like yeah yeah but they have it in gym? Not in gym and gym like we had weird stuff like rock climbing stuff like that but soccer was they had JV

and varsity soccer Yeah, I never even fucking, I wish I would have, I wish I would have now What are you gonna do, George, you know what I'm saying, you wish you would have could have I wish I was Joe Lozahn What am I gonna do? Yeah, um, people, there's no regrets, they're the ones we have to live with so I always try and tell our audience as well Especially some of the younger folks, but they guys that are stumbling around you know coming out of high school Just going to a JC and trying to bang chicks get drunk they don't know what the hell they're doing and like trying once in a while

give them that little big brother mentor angle and say hey man no regret seriously do what you want do what you like because when you're young you're influenced by a lot of people especially your parents and sometimes you wind up doing what they want and then later on you realize when you're 30 or 40 that's not

what the hell you wanted to do you know and you can only be the best at what you want to do that's for sure it's amazing when you're young how fucking how old are you now George 44. It's amazing when you're 20 and 22, how confused you are.

And how confident you are. Oh, yeah, don't fuck at that age. You don't know any better. Like, it's so crazy how confident I was, but at the same time, how scared I was. Like, I walked around, like, I still walk around scared. I was telling Dom Herrera this week before I got on stage that if I have a show at 8 o'clock,

I start pissing my pants at 5. Like, I literally start pissing my pants at 5 o'clock. Like four to this day? To this day. Wow, all them shows into your belt. He's pretty hard. That's good, though. And I like the fear.

I like having the fear. You know, I was watching Chris Wydenman last night on the countdown, which you were on last night. You look very handsome. And Chris Wyden says that when he has a fight, everything's good till the morning of. The morning of, it's fucking horrible. For me, it's two hours before I fucking have to go on stage. Five o'clock, 5.30.

By 6.30, I'm living in doubt. Like, I just, I don't know why I want to go down there. What would happen if I canceled? You know, you just get scared. When I was, I fucking talk to Lee every day. I yell at Lee, because I think about when I was 25, how much more I wish I would have done, you know, and the things I would have done differently.

But I was out there, you know what I'm saying? I was out there. Right. I have no regrets about that. I was out there and I was trying to get my life together. I didn't know what to do. But it's amazing how, fucking scared you are, man.

And I'm sure that viewers, listeners are saying, Joey, I'm 26, I'm not fucking scared. Yes, you are. Yes, you fucking are. And you don't even know it. You know, it's so different how, as you get older, you're still scared, but you're not that fucking scared and confused, you know?

And you wish you could do it over again to sling fucking dick with three hands, but you get the numbers thrown at you that you do. You know what I'm saying, George? Oh, yeah, yeah. I think back to, you know, I have cousins that might be 10 years younger. Even my little brother, you know, those are only, he's nine years younger than I am. So sometimes when he's stumbling along doing stuff, I kind of luck, I stay quiet,

and sometimes I don't want to chime in other times I don't. But, you know, unsolicited advice for some, it's not, you know, it's not their thing, you know. But every once in a while when I can try and lend the little wisdom, you know, I do. But you're not the same, man. I'm not the same from when I was 34. 34, 34 was completely different. 24, way, way different. And I wish I could talk to me, you know, 20 years ago, 10 years ago.

You have to learn from some of the mistakes, that's for sure. There's nothing wrong with making mistakes. There's nothing wrong with having regrets. But there's nothing wrong with listening to others as well, you know, getting your hands on literature and reading and, you know, picking other people's brains. There's nothing wrong with that either. I mean sometimes people have too much pride or they're just not willing to listen.

did, then, you know, I don't know, I just think that maybe they could have avoided some of the setbacks we all had. No, well, people always gave me advice. It was like certain people that I really trusted that I got advice from, you know. I always listened, though. I never understood people that didn't grabs or something. Like, you know, you're walking out of a liquor store. You're going to buy a pack of gum or something like that.

And when you walk out, there's some fucking drunk guy. And he comes over to him, he says, hug you lady, you know. You only get one shot. You giggle at something like that. You giggle at something like that. But he's saying something he knows. You know, I learned from my first divorce what to do the second time around. You know, people get mad at me.

They always call them and they go, hey, we're doing this thing Sunday. And we're doing this thing Saturday. You know what, George, from Monday to Friday, I do what I want. on Saturdays and Sundays, if I'm home with my family, like if I don't have a comedy gate, I belong to them. And people say, well, my wife doesn't say nothing to me. If I went home and told my wife I'm meeting George on Saturday at 6th, we're going out to do dinner, my wife wouldn't complain at all.

But that's not what you do. You know what I'm saying? My weekend is for them. And how did I learn this? I got divorced. I got divorced. That's what I learned from getting divorced, that you have to be divorced.

that you have to make time for them and you have to make time for you and you have to stick to that time, you know. But I'm sure I learned other things from life similar to that, you know, from making mistakes. You're absolutely right, George. You're absolutely... I'm still making them to this day.

You guys are going to laugh your asses off, but I recently just, on Friday, I was at the IRS for four hours, finally submitting some old stuff that I needed to clear up, I'll tell you, it felt so good to know that, all right, I'm caught up with turning everything in, and I know that there's an amount out there that I owe, and it's not too bad, actually, and that's the part that makes you feel like a quad, because this is just something I really could have, you know, addressed,

and I kept kind of running away from it. I'll get to it. I'll get to it. But the stupidest thing you can do is obviously, you know, not do your taxes, because you have to pay them one way or another way. Whether you pay them every month or catch up once a year, or whatever, you have to do it, and there's these stupid penalties that are involved in just not doing them. And I don't know why I kept thinking,

oh, an extension on extension, but an extension really doesn't do much of it than postpone the damage, you know. But anyway, like I said, it felt so good, and it sucked. I sat there like a sucker. I looked around. There was other suckers around me, too, and I kept thinking, I'm too good for this. I'm too, I should know better.

I should know better than be sitting here, and then have an official from the other side looking at me, you know, and all they do is look at quarts like me, like me all day as well, and I don't know how they don't, you know, go nuts, but that's their job. They're used to it. And, you know, but it's something I learned. I'll tell you what, man, come January, however soon my accountant can take me in, I've already got the money set aside.

I'm going to put that behind me and just do my gig. How about that, man? A 44-year-old man, still falling behind in a sec. Hey, brother, I walked in there when I was 40. and came clean with them. So when I was 40, it was 11 years ago. So what was that? 2003?

I hadn't paid taxes since 1990. I didn't pay taxes for 13 fucking years. And I walked into that office thinking they were going to throw me in jail. And I walked out of there with $150 a month payment for five years, and that was it. There you go. And they were nicer than I did the same thing with the state. I think they were like 113 a month for five fucking years. It was like a bank note.

And I thought they were going to throw me in jail. The IRS isn't in business to throw you in jail. And they'll fucking waive all the penalties and fees. Believe it or not, they'll waive it just for you to do your fucking taxes and pay them off. I don't give a fuck. I was blown away. I was blown away when I walked in there how nice they were. I thought they were going to fucking chastise me in.

Brow beat me not a fucking thing. You're right. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Not why they were going to. you do it what were you you know like they they talked down to me nothing she just said look anything you made up to the last seven years it's yours you got away with it the last the last seven

years you got to pay us our fucking buddy and that's exactly what i did and today i have moved on from the irs and from the state i will not go to jail and have a cell next to wesley's knives i know how did he not get out of it there wasn't a way for him to get out of it i mean i thought at the end of the day Whether he owed or not, he still adds the money. I just don't see how the case was so bad against him that, you know, he wasn't able to find a way to just... I guess he told him

to suck their dick. I guess he told him to suck their dick. Wow. Because there's a way, you know, they'll work with you. But didn't they throw Big Joe in jail too? Or no, Big Joe got out. Fat Joe? I don't know. I know about Westwick Slice. He did it two, three years. And I'll tell you what, he was sucking other people's dick. Because, well, no.

what the hell go happens in prison. That's one place I definitely want to avoid. Let me tell you, and they put them expendables, and that's all that happens, all right? Yeah, they put in fact, jail in jail for tax evasion. They put him in jail? For how long? Oh, he was released in November. For how long do they do? He did a couple weeks or something. Well, find out. Yeah, they throw your ass in jail. When you're a celebrity and you tell him to fuck off,

didn't they throw James Brown in jail, too? I think so, yeah. Yeah, they don't fuck around, man. When you're, when you're, uh, a higher profile type person you're talking to suck your dick In fact you only only did four months Four months, right? Four months is four months Right

There ain't no recording studios in fucking prison I'll tell you that much You're singing in that fucking shower You're in their fucking freestyle In the shower What is going on this week in the UFC? Dude A lot is going on this weekend

What I mean? We usually discuss An upcoming card but as of like 2014 there's some weekends where they're having two cards. Whether it's a night or back-to-back night, it's starting to happen. The sport's starting to blow up in that sense. Whether it's too much or not, we can discuss that in a bit. But this weekend, it's back-to-back night.

Last weekend, it was two fight cards on the same day. This weekend we got UFC 175, Chris Wyatman, the guy you talked about earlier, the middle-weight champion of the world. He takes on the Odomachita, a great opponent, man. A great fight. One of the fights I've been looking forward to all year. that same card. Ronda Rousey defends her belt against Alexis Davis. Chale-Sunnan and Van der Leigh-Salem, Civil were supposed to be on this card, but they're not.

It's still pretty good. Uriah Favors on it and a few other names I don't recall them all right now at this minute. And then the next day, B.J. Penn fights Frankie Edgar. For the third time, he's dropping 145 pounds now to do this. They were the coaches for the Ultimate Fighter throughout the season that's been taking place, and they're on the Ultimate Fighter-19 finale. So you can have those two headlining that card, and then a bunch of guys. from the season that's kind of unfolded right now.

There's two different divisions. They'll crown two different ultimate fighters. Back-to-back nights at Mandalay Bay. Never been done before. Back-to-back nights in the same city. It'll be interesting how that unfold because you only got a certain amount of dollars. You know, guys, I mean, I don't know what kind of specials are out there. I didn't really look.

Luckily, as media, I get a credential. But, you know, if you're putting out 400, 200, whatever, a ticket, times, you know, your girlfriend, your friend, your brother, your mother, whatever you're treating. And then you got to do it the next night and put out another 100, 175. That can be tough. So I'm going to be interested to see how this works out. But aside from that, the UFC Fan Expo, all kinds of activities, pool parties, concerts, a 5K, you name it.

The UFC's definitely done a great job to promote what's called International Fight Weeks. Now, Dana White is running the 5K? He is. He is running the 5K. And so are a lot of big names. I know Chuck Liddell is running. it. Mike Dolce is, he's running it, but he's the one running the whole program. I'm sure he'll actually run it, but he's the one that's kind of like spearheading that deal. You know, they want

people to get fit. They want people to use UFC fit. For him and Eisha Tater are kind of like the host, but a few fighters have signed up, a couple world champions. I think I saw DJ Dillishaw's name on there. Game Balaska is his name. So the UFC's definitely brought out their big guns and they're going to participate. Wow. Can you walk in, George? No, you know what? I am going to go out there, but I'm not going to run it. And I'll tell you why, because I have a buddy who, me and some buddies have been kind of trying to lose weight or have been pushing each other.

He posted a horrific 3K time. And I have a feeling that my time would be even more horrible than that, so I don't want to set myself for jokes. I think I'm just going to go out there and hand out water, you know, and maybe take some pictures or whatever. I think I want to get into that. I kind of do run on my own a bit, but, you know, I walk when I'm tired, and I don't know. I'm probably going to stay away from that. Listen, man, I'm proud of you.

It's like 110. 110 right now, and it's only 7 in the morning, so the last thing they need to see is my fat ass out there. Let me tell you something, man. When you run those things, you're never a loser. I did them. I used to get killed in Boulder. I would try to do the biathlon, the same. swim run or the swim bicycle.

I don't even remember my time, but my time was horrible. But let me tell you some, it was just going down there and being a part of it. That was really cool. I can't run to that. For a minute there, I'm like, maybe I'll take the flight and just walk the four-ca. I would love to even walk. I was busting Lee's balls about walking Ryman, and they just shot my knee again. And for some reason, the outside of the knee feels good, but the side of it, the inside is still

hurting like towards the end so I don't really want to push it but I would love to fucking do something like that I know I definitely can't run it there's no fucking way I could definitely finish it if I walk I'll tell you that much oh yeah no I don't know with that it's just I don't think my time's gonna be on the digital uh clock there and my other buddies if my other buddies weren't going I'd probably do it but now that they're in on it I just know that I'm setting myself up for some ball busting so I think I'll just play that media role, hand out waters, you know, maybe ask you questions. And then I got to hustle back and do a MMA junkie radio.

We're starting a little bit late on that day, but at least it will allow me to go out to this event. You know, Mike Doche in his book, has a great running program in there for the treadmill, you know. And I was doing it for a while. And I tell you what I found out that, and I saw it the other day for the first time. I'm 51 and I never saw this. the other day I was in the apolliptical machine. How do you say it? Elliptical.

Elliptical machine. And I saw a 300-pound guy running from behind, and I saw how much damage it is in comparison to helping you. Like, it's just too much weight. I saw this guy from the back, how he would just run a little, like he was running a moderate speed. I mean, he had great cardio. He probably ran for 15 minutes.

But even on the treadmill, I could see where the damage. I could see it from behind, how heavy, how much pounding it is on your joints. And now I know when I was doing that Dolce run, why my knees hurt that much. I didn't give a fuck, though. You know, I'll take two of leaves or two Advils, and I'll be fine. But then you have to sit there and go, I'm 51. I'm not playing professional sports. Why am I walking around sore?

You know, that's the other end of it. Well, I guess, you know, obviously aside from... the health reasons you have the incentive you know now you have your baby daughter and you know maybe dropping 20 pounds will pack on an extra 10 years or you I don't know

I'm not trying to preach or no no you're absolutely fucking right I've been this is what I've been thinking about the last three weeks you know especially when it comes to Jiu-Jitsu that when I'm in there and even though I'm trying and I'm rolling every time I get flipped over and I land on a wrist or an elbow I'm putting

300 fucking 10 pounds of weight on something, you know. I'm doing this now, acknowledging this. I'd never acknowledged this before. How bad it is to be that big. I'm sure it's great for some people, you know? My cartilage just disappeared. I just got another shot in the knee. It would be two weeks last, two Thursdays ago. So it would just be great to be involved in the 3K walk or something, you know, in Vegas and see Dana. But I don't intend

degrees that just put a fucking kibosh on that shit. Fuck you. That kills fat guys. right there. Yeah, especially when I have to do the show just a few hours later. I don't know. I think I'll be good enough being there to support. You know what I'll do is I'll give myself in shape

and maybe I'll do another 5K down the road, but this one I'm going to skip. It's really weird how I really, the last couple months I've been really working on my cardio, or at least I've been trying. You know, I know I sound a little better on the podcast. I don't hear myself breathing anymore

and I'm not running. You know, I'm jolting my system with the kettlebells. I'll try to do light kettlebells over 15 reps, you know, and I'll try to do the epileptical, you know. But I'll tell you what, man, it doesn't matter until I drop this weight. Once I drop this weight, my cardio will be that much better. I know that if I go from 300 to 265, my cardio will be, I'm still not going to run.

You know, I'll still be in fact countries fucking league. Right? How big is big country? 265, right? 264. The last time he weighed in around... 250 something. Yeah, 255, I think.

It's weird because I'll see him at these media functions or I'll see him around Vegas. And I always kidding myself and go, shit, he looks like he's 238, 240, he looks like he may have shed those 10, 15 pounds that we've always wanted them to do, you know, to just kind of look a little better and maybe last a little.

You know, not gas as much. And I'm going to step on that damn scale, and there's always 260. Last time we did go down to 250 against Moghera. He looked good, man. He hasn't needed the cardio as much because he's in starching gun. He's a fucking freaking nature to watch him. Because I know sometimes my jihad, man, after two minutes of jiu-jitsu and I'm huffing and puffing.

I ain't going to lie to nobody. And I have little tricks you got on your shoulder and shit so your lungs can breathe. But besides that, so how's the stress going? How's the anxiety going? Pretty good, man. Knock on wood, I've been good guys. I think a lot what helps is some of the exercise I do. I mean, every day I get up and walk these two dogs I have.

So that's a couple miles. And if I'm doing good on time, then I'll wash off their paws and then I'll go run a little bit more just so I can get my heart pumping and sweat. But I'm telling you, man, just a little bit of sweat every day. Definitely, I think, just helps burn, you know, some of those frustration, some of that stress and being more organized. I walk around with this notebook.

and I use the notes feature, and then, excuse me, the notes app on my laptop, which, you know, communicates with my phone. And when I'm on top of stuff, things are fine. Nothing bugs me. But if I put myself in a pickle or something, you know, and I start thinking too much, I think that's when sometimes it says in.

Sometimes I think caffeine triggers it a lot as well, and sometimes I push it a little hard on the coffee. And another thing I've noticed is if I don't rest a lot, then, you know, sometimes you just, what happens to your body, I think, weakens, and you're more susceptible to all this stuff. Let me talk to you about some other tickets selling for this weekend's UFC. I mean, have you heard anything? You know, I don't know, but I heard they didn't.

I heard they weren't going to give out as many comps. You know, people that normally get hooked up around town, they're pretty much not. I mean, it's a good seller, you know. Say what you will about the rest of the card, because it's not the sexiest part of the world, but you have to title fights. on the card. Rousey's a big seller, and Whiteman's obviously been involved in some big cards last year,

and I think people love that kid. Achita's earned his shot, so nobody's been gifted here. He deserves to be in there. If you're just kind of going to watch that, then I think you're already getting your money's worth. Obviously, the UFC stacks it with some talent, and the undercard will be fine as well.

then you got the UFC Fan Expo, but... The Fan Expo? I don't know. It will sell out, though. I think the Fan Expo for nobody who's... For anybody who hasn't been, and you're even a slight fan, it's like what you guys were talking about. If you're in another country and you go to a soccer game, you'll really see what it's about. If you're not doing anything, I'll tell you what, the Fan Expo is really a lot of fun.

It really... And I guarantee it's grown since I went. Because I think I went three years ago, two years ago. I walked around the one day and it was really interesting you know, get the Q&A but now you can work out with them you know you can work out with

Daniel Cormia is he still one of the guys you can work out with? I know he's going to be there teaching a self-defense class at the Boys and Girls Club but early this week so I know he's here for the week but you're right Joe

you can I know one time BJ Penn had a seminar so you can grapple and strike and learn from some of the best definitely rubbed elbows with a lot of them. And even if you're, you know, the expo can be sometimes tight and these volumes can be time-consuming. Some people have that patience, some don't. But I'm telling you, you run into these guys all over the place.

And they're all, think about it, two fight cards, back-to-back nights, all those fighters are at Manilae Bay. Then you got all the guys that are at the Expo. They're all seen at Manoray Bay. But, you know, if you're a fan, come down to Manalay Bay this weekend. and I guarantee you're going to be running into a lot of people. And head on down to that Expo and get there early. If you get there early, I think you can get past some of those cues that go very long. And I think you'll have a good time.

What's the Expo ticket go for a round? I want to say like 35 to 50, depending if you get it at the door. That's not fucking bad, man. That's not bad. And let me tell you something. There's a bunch of giveaways in there. Energy drinks are in there and T-shirt companies. So it is pretty, I'm telling you.

You know what? When I was a kid, I used to go to comic book conventions. That was my shit. You're looking at me, Lee, and I'm telling you right now, I used to go to comic book conventions and have a fucking great time. And it's the same thing. It's just three-day, and especially this week, because you had the Sunday.

So is it going to be Sunday, too? Friday, Saturday. Yeah, so they changed it. It used to be Friday and Saturday. Right. But this year, they're doing it Saturday and Sunday. So Saturday and Sunday on both days, it starts like at 9 or 10.

and it goes to about five or six. If you're going to the fight cards on either day and you don't want to miss a fight, then you may have to feel out of there a couple hours early. But it's all within the same hotel, which is very, very convenient. Or you can get there, you know, miss a fighter too, but taking the whole expo,

I think if you're pretty good at, you know, walking around and not picking up every piece of gear and equipment and asking prices, I mean, you should be able to hustle to that, you know, two to four hours, depending on how many lines you get into to get autographs and knee fighters but you know if you're just a casual observer you can get to it pretty quick and uh still have time to to pick in the fights you know because for a lot of people that's the priority of the fight now uh sadly now i got home you know lee and i got really stoned lee made me either gummy bear and whatever the fuck he usually has in his pocket and i didn't really you know when i get home at nights and times i look at yahoo and i look at what's going on and Sometimes I just go to bed, sometimes I read it, sometimes I just digest it, whatever, and I go watch TV. I read something Saturday night, and I read it very, and at the time when I read it, it was very like, what did I expect type deal.

And it was that Chale's son and it failed another drug test, an additional drug test. Now, he was originally supposed to be slated for the July 4th card with Vidor or Vandalay, and then Vandlei got scratched. Then it was Vidor and then he came up positive for the first drug test. Then I got up yesterday morning, you know, in my life, we were going to go to the beach and whatever. When we got back, I went online and I read the article that MMA junkie had released about the second drug test and what's been going on with Fox and people. You know, break it down for me. I understand the one drug test, but when was the second one taken that they're talking about? It worked was he, as he was preparing for this fight, he was tested twice, and the one that came out about three weeks ago, the one that led to his retirement, he was tested.

I don't remember the names of the PED that he tested for, but the names that you commonly hear in other sports. And the excuse he used was that those were helping him adjust to his body getting off TRT. and though there might be some truth of that, the problem is, is those two steroids are on the ban list for water, the world anti-doping agency. So you basically should have known better, you know, even though what he was saying, I guess, was partly true, it doesn't matter. It'd be like saying, well, I took cocaine because cocaine's proven to help me get off, you know, something else that's illegal. Therefore, you guys should be okay with it, but somebody would sit back and say, but, O'Kings illegal, too. So,

Chale's got the gift of Gab, and amazingly enough, out of, you know, the 100% of people that probably should have said, uh-uh, that that doesn't fly, at least 50% said, well, you know,

chill's good a point. And then the 50 that are, you know, out there that are very educated, just aren't trying to hear it. I mean, an athlete cheated is what it boiled down to. And this is an athlete

that was pointing fingers at his opponent. at others. And so if you look at that, I mean, that doesn't sit well with anybody either. You know, he's kind of a bit of a hypocrite there. So now let's fast forward to last, like you said, last Saturday, the news broke that he failed for HGH and EPO. And on that one, I think he gave a statement similar to the first one, something brief. and, you know, it really doesn't matter because once again, now this guy was basically testing positive for, you know, a lot of different performance enhancing drugs that just aren't allowed, aren't accepted, yet the reasoning.

And, you know, because what you want from the athlete is you want some culpability, you know, some responsibility. He doesn't really offer that. and I think this one's going to be very, very damaging for him because, you know, it's, again, with him pointing fingers and he's definitely got his fair share of detractors as well, but even the people that support him, I just don't know how they can accept anything he's got to say at this point. He definitely was trying to find an edge. And the thing is, guys, how far, how long has he been doing this? I mean, with that carefree attitude, how far back to one point to it?

Well, what I can remember is when he was going to fight Anderson Civil for the first time in 2010, and I think it was when they were asking for the sample or when he was filling out paperwork, that's when he came clean and made up some story that Keith Kaiser, the former Nevada State Athletic Commissioner in Las Vegas, had given him permission. That wasn't true, you know, so that's him just flat out lying, hoping he doesn't get caught. And Keith Kaiser obviously testified that that was not the case. And so if you go back to that timeline, it sounded like he had received permission for the two fights prior to that, which kind of put him in the position to fight Anderson's silver.

So my point is, you know, his career is going to be tainted, man, because he put himself in a position to fight for a world title a couple times by fighting guys with an advantage. At least one has to assume that if you kind of put all the pieces of the puzzle together, and that's going to be damaging for his career. I'm not taking anything away from his ability to hype him a fight. The work that he does on Fox Sports, but as an athlete, I really feel like he's been a little bit of a fraud. And, you know, the other athletes are starting to come out, and they're starting to get pissed, like, former, you know, former opponents of his, you know, they have to start to wonder, wow, you know, because this guy have had the edge when he fought me, that's definitely not cool. But whatever.

What's going to happen now? We don't know. And the article you read, Joe, he talked about how he retired. and yes, he'll have to face on the Vastal Athletic Commission, but whatever they throw his way, it's not going to matter. He's not competing anymore. And what Ben, folks, one of our writers, was talking about was, you know, maybe this should go a little bit further.

If the U.S.C. wants to take a stand on Teters, you know, they've got to send a message that this won't be tolerated in any way. And Fox and the U.S.C. are partners. So they do have maybe, they probably do have a little bit of influence, you know, and maybe they may ask, or, you know, maybe Fox on their own. They asked Shail to step down from that post. It's not uncommon.

We've seen, I believe, Antonio Tarver, the boxer. He had tested positive, had a positive test a while back. I think I remember hearing that, you know, HBO was not going to use him. I don't know if that was for a certain amount of time, or if they parted ways altogether. So, again, you know, what the UFC's reaction is going to be to this? We don't know. And I think that's something that we'll wait and see this week.

If they don't do much about it, I don't think it's going to sit well with a lot of people because now we're talking about to the levels of what Lance Armstrong did, in my opinion, you know, to cheat over a period of time, continuously lie about it, and the fact is that yielded him some results, some really top-notch wins. He's got a lot to face when he faces the Nevada State of Atlantic Commission. and I'm interested to see what he has to say about all this. I think it could be a possible investigation. Who knows?

You know, bro, he's got a lot to face when he faces himself. That's the bottom line with this. He's got a lot to face when he faces himself. And like I told you yesterday on the phone, you know, I never really met him or hung out with him. You know, when I've seen him and been around him, he's been very pleasant. And again, he chucks and jives, you know,

which I was the master of. So I understand. I'm not here to lay judgment on somebody who made a mistake because I made tons of mistakes. I went to prison, but I paid my dues and I copped to it, you know. And when I first found out that he tested positive, I giggled like everybody else in America. You know, you giggle a little bit. But in my world, it was what did you expect from this fucking guy? The thing that gets me burnt up more than anything, and I love Dana.

And I've been his guest many at times at the shows is that. that he's this guy's fucking biggest backer. And, you know, everybody wants to see what the fuck Dana's going to do now. You know, for years, people have been asking, does this guy have photographs of Dana, naked, you know, getting whipped by Ariani? What does he have on him? You know, because every time, everything falls in his favor

and everything's a fucking giggle and the smile. If this was Anderson Silver, that had tested positive twice and done all this shit, you know, you wouldn't see him on the face. fucking Fox show or you wouldn't see him and again I'm not going into anything else that people usually go into I'm just telling you how to fuck it is from what I've seen Chelle gets and does what he wants you know 20 minutes after it was announced Dana went on the ESPN and he was giggling about it kind of you know for fertility

you know everything's for something it's going back to what I talk about here your life doesn't move ahead until you claim responsibility if he would have on TV that second time and said, all of a sudden, fertility, and what are you fucking talking about? Joey D is a 51-year-old guy. He did blow for 27 years. He smokes pot, eats, edibles every day, and some way sperm came out of there and got her fucking pregnant. What are you fucking talking about? You don't drink.

You don't do nothing. You're a world-class fucking athlete, and your sperm don't fucking work. You know, just tell the world that you fucked up, and you'll never insult him again, and you're quitting. But don't, he made it seem like he was quitting because they were unfair to him. It's fucking amazing And it's fucking amazing How the rest of you fucking assholes React to this shit

I'm not mad at Chale I don't give a fuck at the UFC fireism I don't give a fuck If he ever fights again Because I still gotta get up in the morning Every fucking morning And go to work And put up with the fucking trial

I'm not one of those guys That you're gonna catch a week from now You know in February I'm at a show in Boston I swear to God George And some guy comes up to me at the ball He's like hey man I gotta talk to you about something

you've had Herb Dean in your podcast a couple times. You know, what do you think about him with the early stoppage? I'm like, it's Friday night. And there's bitches with fake tits wanting to get their pussy sucked. And you're talking about Herb fucking Dean, you fucking idiot. You fucking retard. So I'm not one of those guys that's going to sit here and say, what's the state of jail, son, and then we're going to talk about it for a fucking...

Who gives a fuck? Life goes on. I got to go fucking work out and deal with my daughter. It's just amazing what we tolerate. with than what we believe as Americans anymore. He made it seem like the State Commission was wrong for not letting him take that shit. And now he test positive again. I'm happy this chapter's over with.

And I'm happy that they got to see him for what he was. And he's still a great guy, and I'm sure, you know, when you hang out with him, he's a hard worker. And the guy works hard. You know what's crazy, George? That the guy has fucking talent. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I guess that's what burns me the most.

Him saying that he was an out-of-competition athlete, and he wasn't an out-a-competition athlete, but yet he says these things, and I don't know if it's because he believes him himself or if he thinks, well, you know, by talking about people, people will believe it, but it's not being genuine, it's just ingenuous, you know, and he's got fans,

and I think he should realize that a lot of people have supported him, you know, and they deserve to know the truth, and he avoided the truth when he had a chance to come clean, and now the second test has come out, and it sounds like by that early statement, that he's not too interested in facing the music there either. So, you know, I don't know what we'll see. I guess I've got to give him his chance to see what kind of interviews he puts out

and let's see how the UFC reacts to it. But once again, the UFC constantly has said, hey, we're not just a niche sport. You know, we're not roller derby or, you know, Super Motorcross or anything like that. I mean, we're a sport that wants to compete with the NFL, the NBA, the Major League Baseball, you know. And a lot of those sports, they're not tolerating shit like that, guys. so we'll see what kind of a statement they make. And it's going to be tough because it's one of their big stars. You know, recently they had an athlete to push the referee,

and that athlete immediately got fired. Now, I'm not saying pushing a referee's fair, but the statement that was made was we just don't tolerate that. And it'll be interesting to see if that's something, you know, if John Jones pushed the referee, would be part ways with him or not? I'm not so sure they would. So it's going to be a big spotlight on the UFC. Dana White and Angel Son and the week with you how they react.

How fucking great would that be to see John Jones smack the shit on Mario Yamasaki one day? Just pick them up and up and open to the head. Dana would be jumping up and down. The Fratiti brothers will be jumping up and down. Everybody would be fucking happy. But that's it, man. That's the world. It's a big fucking summer.

I mean, there's how many more? You got this weekend? And what else do you have the rest of the time? I mean, you got some fucking fights this summer. You got Jose Aldo, Chad Menon. You've got Masasi in August 2nd. Yeah, Masasi and Jacari. That's a good one.

Oh, my God. Aldo and Mendes. That's at Staples Center in L.A. Oh, my God. Then they're coming to San Jose with Robbie Lawler versus Matt Brown. That's going to be pretty crazy. They're going to Bangor, Maine. So I think that's the first time they've been there.

They just got back from Albuquerque. They just got back from San Antonio. So what they're doing is they're throwing on a lot of fucking shows. They're grabbing two great athletes, maybe four, and saying, your headlining, your co-main eventing, and then the rest is, you know, lesser talent to step down. But what happens is they're going into more markets, and not just in the United States, but worldwide, markets that are thirsting for it. So if they can pull in a good gate and get decent numbers on Fox, then they're considering it a win. The only problem is that hardcore audience

that's wishing the pay-per-views that they pay for and the fight cards that they go to. to would be a little bit more stacked, you know, and it's kind of, you know, some of the cards are a little bit watered down. And the fact is, MMA fans are a little spoiled, but you know who spoiled us was the UFC. So now when they pull back a little, it sucks, and the fans are vocal, and they bitch, and sometimes I agree with them, sometimes I want to tell them to shut the fuck up, you know, I mean, after all, if you are an MMA fan and you don't have nothing to do, you're not banging chicks, you just didn't at all.

Well, you know what? There's some free fights on, and that's something we didn't have a few years ago either. There's pluses and minuses on both sides of the argument. I personally, I would really enjoy when I was growing up, and they told me Hagler's finding Leonard, are you having it at your house? And I'd say, yeah, man, come on over. We'd order pizzas and beers and stocking 50 people would be in my house,

or I'd go to my buddy's house. That buildup, that anticipation was huge, you know. But now with all these events being shoved down my throat, sometimes I don't have that. Sometimes I do. But sometimes I'm like, yeah, and if I miss it, I don't feel like I missed much. Why? Because the next one's upon us, and I get jacked for that one.

So I don't know what their strategy is going to be. You know, I don't know how they treat this. And, you know, maybe they're okay with pissing a hardcore fan off like me from time to time, but maybe they're gaining two that I don't know of in New Zealand. Who knows what happens back to, you know, at these Zuflo officers? They do have some smart people. I will give them credit. They have grown the sport, but at the same time, you know,

there's got to be a little bit of a backlash on this too. Now, who's fighting on the August 29th card? They haven't even put that one together. That's happening in Vegas on Labor Day weekend. It was supposed to be Jones and Gustafson, but that got pushed back about a month. So as of right now, I don't think that has a main event. And if you think about it, that's less than two months.

That's two months away today, I think. So, you know, people, some people like to make plans, especially on Labor Day weekend, and, you know, I think an announcement should come soon. Now, maybe they have to wait for this weekend. Maybe they can do something what the fuck. The people that fight on this card, but, you know, that card hasn't come together yet. We haven't heard one Pete from that one. So the winner of Robbie Lawler, Matt Brown gets Johnny Hendricks.

Now, Johnny Hendrix is hurt. He's recovering. When is his ETA? he said he'd be ready to go by the fall we just had him on the show about two weeks ago and he said he'd be ready to go by he was he was given the notice to start training and he said he could train you know not just run on a treadmill but he could actually start grappling and you know start training for a fight so once he got cleared for all that I think he you know they could circle a date and do something with the winner of brown and loller For Loller, this could be possibly, you know, four fights in one year, which is rare.

And if Matt Brown wins, you know, that'll work too. But it sounds like go pencil them in somewhere around October or November. Now, what's the state of Anderson Silver and Nick Diaz? You know, it sounds like it could happen because both guys could share a decent payday. For Anderson, Silver, I think he sees it more as a tuna, all right? He eventually wants to get another shot at Weidman. And the same way DJ Penn wants a piece of Frankie Edgar for the third time, Anderson Silva, trust me, wants a piece of Chris Weibin for the third time.

So whatever they throw in front of him, as long as it's someone that he thinks he can beat, then he'll take it, you know. For Nick Diaz, it'll get him paid, and he'll probably lose. Honestly, I mean, Anderson's just too big, too fast for Nick Diaz. I don't think Diaz can get that fight to the ground. And if he does, Anderson's actually showing himself that he can hang down there. He's not going to submit you, but he sure is going to make it tough for you to submit him. But, you know, the fans would get a fight, and you honestly would get both of them off their asses.

Anderson's there, you know, because of injury, but Diaz is just there because he's playing, you know, a certain card in his negotiations wrong, in my opinion. But it would get him off his ass and get him fighting, and that would be a good thing. Hopefully, you know, he'd start fighting guys in his weight class again. But I think it's a possibility, but I've just heard too many of these. crazy fights, you know, that get talked about, and then eventually they don't happen. And Nate, what's his future at the UFC? Is he still around? Is he just doing seminars? He signed an eight-fight contract about, I want to say 18 months ago,

prior to fighting Benson Henderson, if I'm not mistaken. So he's had three fights. That one, Josh Thompson, and Gray-Maynor. This isn't the time to go in there and say, I want to get paid more, because he just signed an eight-fight contract that he was happy. had those big fights. The problem is his homeboy, Gilbert Melendez, he had that free agency run

where he got courted by Bellator. Belator put in a nice fight-side contract in front of them, and the UFC had the match because he's a big star. He's got a name, the former champion at Strike Force, top 10 guy for years, he's on ESPN, good-looking Latino kids and looking to break into Mexico, and I think the UFC thought, well, you know what, we're going to lose one of these from time to time,

and this guy got us. And that got on the coaching stint. They got on pay-per-view numbers. I mean, he got an incredible contract. A lot of pay-per-view numbers, you know, those cuts that they get, they only get them after you sell $250,000 pay-a-views or $500,000 pay-per-view. And he got a contract where I believe every fight card he's on is a pay-per-view, and the pay-per-view cuts that he gets are they get triggered a lot sooner than what other

fighters yet. He really, really did his homework, and he used the free agency period that he had to the best of his ability. So word trickles like that to the other guys. You know, Nate Diaz runs with three other guys, his brother, Jake Shields, and Gil and Melendez. And all those guys have had big fights and big contracts, and I think he looked back and said, man, I don't fuck up. How do I get some of this loose? I know, I'll hold out. I'm a big name. They need me. They need superstars are the headline. And, you know, but the bottom, if it looks like that hasn't worked, because

the UFC's still throwing their shows. And, you know, they're offering him. They offered him, Habit, they're a domodev, and they offered him a few other guys. He's turned them down. But he's just sitting on the sidelines level. The UFC's growing, throwing shows, and I think eventually he's going to have to say, all right,

you got me, who, you know, who do I have to fight? Maybe after the fifth or six fighting his contract, he can go in there and really, really, you know, land a big one. and I'm the one that can change his life, but I think right now he's in a tough spot. And what's the status of GSP at this point? Is he done? He tore his knee in March after the anterior crescent ligament, so it was on the other knee from the opposite knee of the one that he heard a few years ago. He's been through it.

He knows it's about a nine-month rehab, which means between March and the end of December, that's his focus. He already had the surgery. He's already rehabbing. But now he's, he's got to get it strong enough so that he can start training if he ever wants to come back to fight again. But I believe that that time off, you know, and the fact that everything he sets his mind to, you know, he does, because of the 10th degree, I think that'll make him hungry to fight mixed martial arts. And, you know, this whole thing with the Welterweight Division will unfold because it's a bunch of killers in there, man, with McDonald and Lombard and Donge and Kim and the other guys we mentioned Brown and Lawler. So that's an exciting

division that's going to play out, you know, really, really good these next 12 to 18 months. And I could see GFP coming back maybe in the summer of 2050. So Lombard's hurt, correct? Yeah, he was supposed to fight Dung Him Kim in Macau at the end of August, same card as Michael Bissing and Kung Lee, but he got hurt. And you know what? I didn't read what the injury was, but I didn't sound like one of those, like what I just described with GSP, I think he'll be able to look his words and come back maybe on a future card later this year. So that's Tyrone Woodley who laid an egg against Roy McDonald recently.

He wants to erase that and get back in the mix. But he's jumping in against John and Jim. And we'll see if maybe that gets him in the conversation again. He's not contending for a title for the next year or so because now he needs another two, three wins to erase the loss of McDonald. That's amazing. having you on because you simplify everything for me. I don't have the time anymore to really follow it like I used to. You know, I have so many fucking things on my plate.

But sometimes I read the MMA junkie articles. I do for the most part. That's the only stuff I read. And you simplify a lot of things for me when we talk, you know, in our conversations. And when you call into the podcast, so I'm happy you took the time in today. I know you're fucking busy. Yeah, man, anytime you guys need me, I love it. You guys have a quality show.

I go in there and check out some of the previous episodes. And I know you guys have definitely made a stamp, man. You guys are ranked high up there on iTunes. And you guys have been really, really kicking some ass. We're trying. So it's a pleasure. It's honored to be on your guys' show. No, we're trying.

And like I said, when it comes to MMA, you're the fucking man, because I get confused. I get confused, and then people hit me with fucking questions. And I don't know what to say to them. You know, people hit me with stupid fucking MMA questions. I'm like, I don't even know what to fucking. What's going on? I didn't even know about that fight.

I can't even catch up anymore. There's so many fights. Bangor, Maine, San Antonio. I was confused on Saturday. I thought Latuna and Marquah were fighting. They were the fucking card with... So that's why the two card weekends fucked me up completely.

Because I don't know what's going on. Yeah, same night. One was in New Zealand. Mark Barton and Tehuna. And then we had Cubs Swanson versus Jeremy Stevens. That was good. If you can find it, you can get your hands on that one. I watched it again.

I already know the result. Check it out. No, I watched it again last night. Cubs Swanson looked fucking tremendous. I mean, I watched that part when they're like one more round. He's like, I got one more round left. He thought it was like the fucking second round that kid.

No. And Jeremy Stevens ain't no fucking joke. That was a good little fight. That was a really, really good little exciting fight. It was, man. Trouble's playing with fire a little bit there. He took a few of the right hands, and he got knocked down.

Yeah, he got right back up, smiled at him, and said, hey, I'm not stopping. And he put on a show, that's for sure. I got to tell you something, though, and I'll end with this. I got to tell you something that I just, I think at 1.45, Jose Aldo was so ahead of the game. And I'm not saying nothing bad about Cubs Swanson. I'm just saying when I watch Jose Aldo, he makes it look like everybody could do it. Yeah.

That's what Jose. Like Anderson Silver was one thing. GSP was one thing. I look at Jose Albaughan that scares the shit. out of me sometimes because he makes it look so simple you know and those leg kicks are just fucking beautiful you know that talking about another soccer fucking guy with some fucking soccer kicks coming at you i just uh you know i'm not going to fight in l a i never go to the la cards because it's too much of a pain he has but i'll definitely be watching you know especially

uh jaccaray masasi and i don't know when i'm to see you i will definitely be in Vegas uh July 18th, you know, so I'll definitely see you for that. I'll be in the studio, so hopefully I'd come down and fuck around with you fucking Savage. How about that? That'd be great, man. Let us know. And hopefully you change your mind about Staples Center because Mendez and Aldo is going

to be a great fight and Saucie and Jacari is going to be a great fight. And there's a lot of MMA junkie radio listeners in the L.A. area that I would love to see you guys. We're doing a show that Friday night. I'm doing a show that Friday, Rogan. No, no, if anything, yeah, yeah, I'll do something, but I just hate going to those

because I got to bring my wife and we've got to get a babysitting their fucking pain the ass. Not because I got to bring my wife, just because I got to get a babysitter. So I just watch them at home and get a fucking, get a shrimp cocktail or some shit. But I love you, Coxucker. And I'm happy you call.

All right, brother. Thank you very much, very much, for our lightning us. much, and a lot of fun. And folks, tune into MMA Junkie throughout the week. We've got you covered for this big international

fight week. This weekend, two cards back to back. Find yourself in Vegas. Give us a holler. We're at Sportsbook. At Mandalay Bay. We'd love to meet you.

And where can they follow you at, George? My Twitter is at MMA Junkie George. So that's my Twitter handle. I have a Facebook and an Instagram. Those aren't hard to find. I always link up to three anyway.

You know, you take a picture and shoot all of them. So thank you for allowing me to do that. And our show is 9 to 11 a.m. Monday through Friday. You can find us at mMA junkie.com forward slash radio. And we have some big announcements coming up soon as well. So tune in. There'll be definitely more ways for you all to listen to our show.

Thanks, guys, for allowing me to do that. Thank you. We have a lot of M.M.A. fans. I love you, George. We'll talk during the week. All right, buddy. All right, see you, Lee. Bye.

Yeah, I was really disturbed by the channel Sunday thing Saturday night. And then yesterday when I read that, and that's what I was getting at people. You know, and I hate to say this. I know people are going to take it wrong. A couple of years ago, Chale got in trouble, and they turned state's evidence. And right there I knew. Like, you hate to judge somebody. You know, the biggest thing your parents teach you when you're growing up is never the judge, you know?

As you become friends with somebody, they do different things, and you either could be their friend forever. or you could not be their friends. When I was out there robbing and doing criminal shit, if Lee was my buddy and we were robbing together and Lee was cheating on his girlfriend or his wife, I would stop hanging out with Lee. Because I knew if you got arrested Lee, you would wrap me at.

Yeah, that makes sense. You know, there was little things that I would look at people and go, I can't do that with that person. Because I know that if this happens, he's going to fucking do this. There's just little things that people do. When somebody turns state evidence like jail, it's never fucking good. And I love Chale

and I love what he does with a sport and love how hard he fights and everything but these little fucking things that first thing when he was talking about his wife and getting her pregnant

and his family and it made I mean he's so good at what he does it made it seem like they were being hard on him no rules or rules man and once you fucking break

those little simple rules there ain't no fucking coming back and that's what we talk about here on the church you know it's just uh fucking own your shit. You fuck up, you fuck up.

I fuck up every fucking day. Every day I got to go in there and look at my wife and go, you were right about that thing. And Sugar, I told you. You ever do that to your wife? You would do that with Paula? She was right about something. That, and then the worst one for me is my parents. Yeah, it's the worst. Especially because you don't want your parents

to be right, whenever they are like to this day, I'll call. My mom would be like, I'm sorry. God damn. It's rough. And if you came clean from the beginning and go, you know what? I do have a fucking problem with that, man. You're fucking right. People get angry. I used to always get angry when I was young.

But then three days later, you're fucking, you go, you know what, man, I was angry because I was an asshole. The guy loves me and he was showing me love. And all he was trying to do was fucking, you know, and that's something that's huge. And I wish Chair would just do that. You know, quit the sport. You've done to. You know, when he was making fun of Van der Le Silver, I watched that episode of UFC tonight. I watched that shit.

I love all those shows. But I'm sitting there watching I'm like, yeah, Van der Leigh ran away And three days later You come up and test fucking positive Something's not right, guy So that's what the moral story is Let me give some shoutouts today

We got a fucking great show today We got Ray Cara, hey Ray Happy birthday, Kara loves you, Cuckucker Nick Harvey 27 Joshua Matowski Whatever your fucking name is

Gilly Seibon Sili Sabin Whatever your fucking name is Trying to be cute with mushrooms Ted Kabat, Dead Squad Nashville, and the rest of Dead Squad family, and Scottish Connor.

I love you, cocksucker. What's up with you, Coxucker? You're all quiet over there, staring into space. You're not even fucking high today. No, no. You're ready for a gummy bag,

Cox sucker? Sure. Don't be bullshit me. I'll stab you in the fucking lung. That's a nice shirt, Lee. I like that better than the stop sign look. That's a green with the yellow. That means go,

but hesitate a little bit. That's what that. fucking shirt means cock suck. I'm just gonna play this because it's Monday. Thank you brother for a mind. It's a beautiful day to be alive. Get your shit together. I know we're running late. Who gives a fuck? It's

Monday. It's a holiday week. I want to be around. Really? Oh. That protease shake didn't do dick for me this morning. I've been on a banana kick. I've had a been in it every day for like two weeks. I have one today

before I came here. Just, but I looked at a banana this morning. I'm not going to have the protein shape. I'll eat the banana later with the fucking milk with the granola. But I got no fucking grinole. I mean, I put it on Twitter as a joke, but it truly happened. I hadn't bought a banana in so long that I just... Because whenever you get at a restaurant, it's ripe.

I forgot to check if it was ripe, and I bit it into like a not-ripe banana, and it tasted like dink. It tasted like grass. What's a non-ripe banana? When it's it green? Oh, I like those. Oh, I couldn't do it. I don't like them on that green-green.

it wasn't totally good but there was like too much green still yeah I don't like that yellow I don't like black spots or black spots yeah I thought yeah but it was too green that loves it's a beautiful day to be alive people get your shit together wake up salute the flag it's 4th of July week somebody died for you this week cut suck there's somebody with a bay in that in their fucking neck right now laying there and they died for you let's see What's the story, Lee? You're sitting there all fucking depressed, cock sucking? No, I've never been happy.

I don't know. When is your anniversary? Next week, next Sunday. And what are you doing with? Oh, no, two weeks from Sunday. We're going to Newport Beach. We were trying to figure something out. Like, we were going to go.

I didn't even know you were going to be in San Jose. We're like, maybe we'll go to San Francisco. We're going to do that. So not this Sunday. The 13th. You're going away Saturday night. You're going to cut the hours. You're going to do the whole thing.

Yeah. Yeah. We're going to spend money on a plane, and we don't like, we like doing simple things. She likes Thai food a lot, so we were going back and forth, and I just put it into the computer, best Thai food in Southern California at some place in Newport Beach. Got a decent, nothing. I like doing those deals where you don't know what hotel you're staying in until you book. So we got a pretty good hotel for a good rate, and try it down there and have fun for a couple nights.

So you're leaving on Saturday? Yeah, or Friday. And what's the Thai plate? I never understood that Mexicans like in Thai food. Oh, she loves it. She likes a really spicy Thai food. And what does she get? Drunk noodles.

That's her thing. What's drunk noodles? Just spicy noodles with beef and vegetables. What's wrong with that? It's got to carry in it? No, no, no, no, I don't think so. No, it's just spicy noodles. Coconut milk?

Maybe. I'm not sure. I don't know how to make it. What is wrong with Mexican people nowadays? What is wrong with Mexican people nowadays? They're eating this shit. between Paula with that Felipe being a vegetarian

Oh the vegan would be hard Yeah But no I mean It's spicy But see it's funny Because I'm picking up a little bit of Spanish And every time she talks to her mom about it She just calls it china

And I'm like it's not Chinese It's Thai She doesn't understand that She doesn't understand They just break it down In Chicano food That's it They don't give a fuck

On it Let me tell you something Like I said Last week I was on the Rogan podcast And he really talked to me about We spoke about Honit. It is not a mineral. Onet products are not vitamins.

Onet products, optimization. They make you better. They make you fucking better, okay? Sadly, I did not want to work out. I did not want to work out with you at all. I did the epileptic on Friday. I hit the bag. I was fucking tired.

I was sore. But I know that soreness means that your body just needs blood to that area. Sometimes you wake up and you're not really sore. You're tight. Yeah. That means you just stretch lightly. You don't want to tear the muscle and just jump up and down a little bit and just move a little bit and you'll see that you don't get sore.

A lot of times my knee will be tight and I'll just do the bicycle for 20 minutes and also they won't be tight no more. But people confuse that shit. They go, I'm sore. I can't work out or I'm hurt. Fuck that shit. Give that area of blood. You got to give that fucking area of blood.

And that's what fucking on it, I took two of those shrewm tags. And I took a little baby pill on Saturday. I don't know why. A baby aspirin. I either take them both or just one. Okay. You know what I'm saying? Shramex sport.

Shroom tech sport. So I either take the baby aspirin, but if I go to Jitsu, I get really scared, so I'll take the Shroom Tech sport. For some reason, Saturday, I did what I had to do, and I took the Shroom Tech Sport and two baby aspirins, and I waited an hour.

Oh, my God, Lee. Oh, my God. And I got to tell you something, Lee. And I wouldn't lie there. I thought it was going to have a fucking heart attack. Because my wrist was hurt, so I wasn't doing any clean. Okay.

So I added cleans back the last two fucking weeks, the last week and a half, I've had it cleans back. Lee, I did more on fucking Saturday with kettlebells than I did the last month. Because I usually just take the baby aspirin. Mm-hmm. Because they say if you do high reps of kettlebells, it's an assault on your fucking cardio system.

Yeah, you were telling me, and it's not even that many reps. It's just that many reps. But here's the thing that swimming burns the most calories, but they say the fucking kettlebell swings. even burns more than swimming. So I wanted to see now with the 45 pound weight

I could just do like 12. I was doing 12 to 15 on Saturday. 12 to 15 reps with the 45 which is my heaviest weight. How many sets do you do? I do five sets. Okay. Of 10 to 15, 12 to 15.

Then I did five sets of, well, I did like six sets of cleans. Then I did three sets of one-arm swings and then I did five sets of 15. to 20 with a 35 pound. Wow. And let me tell you something, I never do that, Liam.

I got no reason to lie to you. I never do those last five. And I did them, and my fucking lung felt tremendous. I could feel the T-8C juice coming out of my lungs. I could sweat it. And I went upstairs,

and I'm like, I'm going to be sore tomorrow. But I didn't take... Strongville? I didn't take the Advil that night. I stretched really good. And I felt that much better. Saturday. I mean, I'm 50. I still feel little knocks and bolts. And today I feel

a little tight. I'm trying to decide what I'm going to do today. Today I might take a yoga class. Okay. There's an 1145 yoga class. I might take a yoga class, and if I'm up to it, I'll go to Jiu-Jitsu tonight. That's what I'm thinking of doing. But it was the Arnold Shroom Tech that made me do those last five sets. Not that it gave, not that it gives you all this energy.

It's not like you drank a fucking mountain dew. It's just that you're like, I feel good. I can do more. Okay. And usually I get confused because when you get older, like you're 25 now, you can do whatever the fuck you want. And the next day you could just brush it off. But when you hit 35, you'll realize you'll go, wow, I don't have the endurance I had when I was 25. What does that mean that you can't play 10 basketball games?

No, you could still play basketball games. You just don't recover as fast. You're a little bit more sore. Okay. From stretching afterward, I don't feel that sore, you know. And I didn't, I didn't. So the shroom tech does work is what I'm trying to say. It didn't give me the extra energy.

It gave me the extra lung power, which is what I try to tell people with Shroom Tech. I don't want you to think that you're going to be jumping up and down and doing jumping jacks. That's not what it lets you do. It lets you roll one time a little more, you know. I only went to Jiu-Jitsu once last week. I went to the Noggi Monday last week,

and I confused the fuck on me, but I didn't take the Shroom Tech, but I've been stretching out lately, and it doesn't make me fucking soar no more. I don't even know why the fuck we're talking about this shit. This is what happens when I don't get high, the morning. Dollar Shave Club. Why are we fucking around with this

still? Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Just for it, it's church. Church! Yeah, listen. Go to Honet, see what they got that works for you. Start with fucking Alpha Brain. There's a money-back guaranteed, and you don't even have to fucking return the product. If you don't believe what the fuck we're doing, Anand, start with Anad. Start with Alpha Brain.

From Alpha Brain, go to Shroom Tech. From Shumtrecht, go to fucking hemp protein. That's why I drank this morning. You know, the hemp protein shake. Maybe it didn't fill me up this morning. The hemp protein, chocolate, the asai, vanilla, tremendous fucking flavors. That's one thing Anna does with their hemp protein powders. It's not going to taste chalky.

It's not going to taste like fucking shit. On it, hemp force protein, the chocolate is fucking tremendous. Go, give me a shot. What do you got to lose? You're going to go spend money on Dick this weekend anyway. Invest in you. Be a better you. Start with AlphaGrain.

Try the shroom tech. They got kettle bells. They got fucking ropes. They got butt plugs. They got everything at Annet. Go to honor.com. What's the thing? Church.

Church. Again, Dollar Shave Club. Listen, you can spend thousands. You can spend thousands in a year on fucking razors. Do you need a razor with a flashlight? Do you need a razor with fucking new chucks? With swiveles? You don't need none of that shit.

Only you need there's two fucking blades to get you nice and smooth and to look good. Why are you dropping 20 bucks? Why are you fucking standing online at a fucking pharmacy wasting your time? Go to Dollar Shave Club. Press what in the book? Church. Church and get the deal. Either $1.

a month, $6 a month, or $9 a month, or get razors delivered right to your fucking door. You don't have to leave the house. Double razors, nice and sharp, tight, aloe strip. You pick the fucking price. $1, $9 or $6. Who's better than you? When do you have that? When can you make the fucking choice?

Fuck Father's Day. Fuck Mother's Day. Fuck Christmas. You need to shave, and that's what we do here. We save your fucking money. Go to the fucking dollar shave club box right now and press in. Church. C-H-U-R-C-H and get your fucking discount today.

Am I lying, Lee? You're not lying. One, $6 or $9. Number two, who else are we talking about here today? We're talking about escapodtank.com. Escapepot tank.com. Why are we having this conversation? Everybody wants to float.

Everybody wants to open their mind. You don't have time to go down there. Send one to your house. Where are you going to go down to some place and float around the fucking tank? People whack off from there. They're going there with rotten ass. You don't need the aggravation in your life.

Order your own fucking tank. Call my man Jeremy on the 800 number. Go to Escape Pot Tank. They got financing terms are available. They can fucking finance you a fucking tub. You can be floating by next week in 85 pounds of EpsonSoft thinking to yourself, who's better than fucking me?

Call Jeremy, go to escapadank.com. See what type of tubs they got. They got residential tubs. They got residential tubs. They got a tank. Just a tank model. Save you $150 fucking dollars just for ordering.

You understand me? They got three different fucking tubs. They'll deliver in... Why they'll keep saying tubs? It's tanks, Lee. Tanks. Tanks. Say tubs.

Don't say tubs. It's fucking tanks. Plus, who has a tank in your house? That'd be good for girls coming over? Who has it? Yeah. And you could seal the motherfucker. So if the bitch ain't going to suck your dick,

you can just close it and leave it in there. Fuck, three days later, you drop her off on the 170. Nobody'll know fucking nothing. You understand me? Go to Escapepot Tank.com. pick a tank, call my man Jeremy Over a skate butt tank What's that?

He's always going to answer He's got all the fucking answers Jeremy Financing who could Hook it up in your area We'll take good care of you're right That's how we fucking roll What's your fucking problem concept? I don't know

I'll put this e-cigarette up Right in your fucking ear You'll be deaf for a fucking month I got a What's it? Disability, I'll get disability That's good You got no fucking disability

You got a cigarette on my ear Yeah From who? from you. I can't give me disability. You've got no fucking disability. You got to pay into that shit. Anyway, I got to tell you a very funny story.

He fucked up. Then we've got to get out of here. Oh, yes, right. I go to Facebook. I got a Facebook from some girl named Lori, whatever. I can't make people with my friends on Facebook because there's too many people on there. Okay.

What the fuck is that? What the fuck? It's like the day of noises. People drilling, people noising. So I look at it. the name and I go wow Laurie Segal what the fuck I know that name and I go back to the picture

and I go oh my god listen I had to sit in my room for 20 minutes and close the door because I thought of this person I did one of the sickest fucking things ever with this girl sick sick sick sick so it's 84 it's like

no no it's yes Yes, it's the fall of 84. It's the winter of 84. When did Doug Flutley throw the pass against? When I find out. He played for Boston College. This is a fucked up story, dog.

84. 84 was November? Let me check. Oh, it was December. It was December of 84. Unfucking believable. So, I'm all fucked up, Blame. I'm getting coke from people.

I owe everybody money. I'm doing drugs every night. It's a fucking nightmare, right? I go to this bar. I go to Tom and Corky's. I'm hanging out, minding my own business. And this fuck, what is it? It's in November.

November, okay. And this girl comes in. And the name is Lori. And this girl had a fucking tremendous body. Tremendous. I mean, when I tell you, this chick had a model. body. Her legs was something from another fucking planet. Her face was kind of fucked up. I'm no handsome guy either. So she had been dating this fucking dude that was a real jerk off.

And I didn't like the guy at all. And then she started dating, dating another guy that was a jerk off. And I don't like him either. You know, not that it mattered. I just didn't like her. I never really liked her, but she was what she was. She was fucking beautiful. And it's not, I don't know why I didn't like it. I just. had something, something didn't click. You can't like everybody, you know. So I'm sitting with my brother, Timmy's brother, and she comes over to the bar,

and she's talking to us about doing blow. And she won't shut the fuck up. So Roger gives her some of his coke first. Now, at this time, I'm fronting from people. I probably got like 10 different baggies on me of Coke. Right? I got it in my sock. I got it in my inside pocket. I got it in my jeans.

I got it in my back pocket. And everything was for something different, you know? and she comes over and she's talking to us, and I guess Roger runs out a blow. I'm not paying attention to her. I think Roger wanted to end up fucking or whatever, so I'm not paying real attention to her. I'm just too fucked up to even make eye contact with the bitch.

So Roger turns to me because he's my buddy, and he goes, do you have another package on you? And I go for the wrong package. I give her a big fucking package, like two grams in that. I give it to Roger. I see Roger give it to her, and she takes off. I don't say none This is like me giving you coke

You're my brother Fuck it whatever happens happens If it's like Leo fucking take care of it She comes back It gives me the package And this goes on for an hour She needs a bump

I give her the package After one of the things She comes back And she disappears for 20 minutes And she comes back And she goes you get that package She goes I give it to Roger So about 10 minutes later

I go Roger Where's that package Roger goes I gave it to Lori I go, where's she gave her to her She never gave it back to me Right?

I'm like, where's fucking Lori? I don't know. She left. I go outside to the front of the bar It's 2.30 in the fucking morning, Lee. I can't find this broad. Lee, I had another ounce of blow on me. It wasn't about the fucking money.

It wasn't about to blow. It was at this chick that I didn't like that I was giving a free Coke through my friend took my fucking package. I find out that she's not dating none of those losers no more. That she's this guy,

Lutonado's fucking, that Danny Banculo knows. Next time Danny calls in, we'll tell the story. Lou Donato, this guy that thinks he's a gang, he's got a massage parlor. Okay. In North Bergen, he would always, when we were kids, he would always go, if you guys want to work security,

going to the massage parlor, not paying. And then at the end of the night, he goes, I got no cash. I bought a blow job. You're like, I need fucking money. I don't want a blow job. I need fucking money. So they tell me that she's living at Louis Donato's house,

that she's working as his fucking nanny, which means she's fucking Louis Donato. Lee, I don't give a fuck. I'm going to Louis Donato's house. I get to Louis Donato's house at 3.30 in the morning. Can you imagine somebody knocking your door at 3 30 in the morning? No. I knock on Louis DeNano's door at 3 30 in the morning.

He answers with a robe on, thinking he's like fucking the guy from Playboy. You happen. He happens to the thing, and he's like, what's up, Coco? What are you doing here? I go, I got to talk to Lori. Something went down today. And he goes, what? And I go, it's between me and Lori.

Let me just ask her question. He goes, okay. Lori, come on up. This bitch comes up with a robe on with a bikini underneath with like a bra, a see-through bra, and like panties, whatever. And I look at her and I forgot about the Coke being taken. She looks at me and she's like,

like putting her fingers over her lips and she goes outside, I go, Lori, what did you do with the Coke? And she's like, oh my God, it was so fucking good, I'm so sorry. And I go, Lori, I ate that fucking Coke back. And she's like, it's the cook I've been doing with Louis all night. And I go, are you fucking Louis? And she goes, well, I'm his nanny. And we end up sleeping together some nights, you know.

I go, have you fucked them yet tonight? She goes, no. I go, good, you're fucking me. Let's go. This is how crazy I was. This is how fucking crazy I was. So she goes back, I go, I don't give a fuck what, you got to tell Louis. Tell Louis that you got to take a ride with me,

but I want my fucking money back, or you're going to suck my dick. that you're not going to just take $2 an hour from me just because you didn't fucking want it. I don't even know what went down. I don't even know if I asked her for a blow job. Because I wasn't attracted to her. But when I saw it with the fucking bikini, I was like, wait a second.

This bitch is crazy. Yeah. Do you know that me and this girl went right back in the fucking house? And she's like, Louis, I have to take a ride with him. And Louis's like, you're not fucking leaving this house. You're my fucking nanny. You got to get up. And she's like, Louis, knock it off.

We've been doing blow. You've been trying to fuck me for the last hour. I just got to take a fucking ride with this guy. All right, she gets the rest of my Coke. As I'm walking up the stairs, I'm such a piece of shit. I look on top of her refrigerator, and there's a deposit bag. I think he had, like, a bar or something now. I just took that deposit bag, Lee.

I just took it to go. And she didn't know. I put it under my arm, and she's like, what are you doing? I go, nothing. She goes, are you taking something? I go, no, no, no, no. I'm just, we got to the fucking hotel. I paid cash for the hotel.

I went inside the hotel room. I opened up the fucking. blue bag in the bathroom I told I had a pee and it was like $2,000, $15,000 in that fucking envelope. I took the fucking blue envelope. I looked up the toilet, not the toilet seat, but the toilet room where the water floats in there. And I put that fucking thing in there and I closed it. And I'm going outside and asking, I go, Lori, what do I have to do to fuck you? And she's like, just guess the color of my panties. She was like, guest, I swear to God. And I go red. And she goes, wrong, blue, you still won.

And I remember that we did blow and fucked and sucked. Disgusting. I had dead dick. It was disgusting. I don't even remember. I just know that the sun was coming through and she was naked and I was naked. This is 1984. This is 30 fucking years ago. I was a mess. Lee, a fucking mess.

And I remember waking up the next morning, not even the next morning, waking up the next night. At 6 o'clock I was. The phone was ringing that. We had to pay the fucking hotel bill. It was like a stinky hotel. And I remember looking at her and she was fucking passed out. She had white shit all over her nose.

The fucking hotel room there was bottles of booze tipped over. She smoked cigarettes. I didn't smoke at that time. I would make her go outside. I remember I never felt so bad about myself. I had nothing going on. I was a 21-year-old kid, Lee,

with zero possibilities. Zero. It was fucking November, a month before. I remember the holidays were close. Because I remember that that come, I remember I woke up to Doug Flutie going back and throwing that. The TV was on, and we went to bed.

Okay. And I still remember Doug Flutty going back and throwing the fucking touchdown. And me calling a cab because I don't know what I did with the car I had, I didn't know nothing. I know I had keys on me that belonged to something. I remember looking at her. and her going,

that was a fun night last night. And me going, yeah. And she goes, where are you going? I go, I'm going to get something to eat. I'll be back. And I left, and I never saw that girl again. And she just friended you? And she just friended me on Facebook 30 fucking years later.

Did you say anything? Not at all. What can I fucking say, Lee? I didn't. Lee, I had forgotten all about her. Years later, I think somebody told me that something about her. That's it. That's the last time I heard of that woman.

I was walking out of a hotel room. She was a mess. I was a fucking mess. I mean, I felt so bad. My wife could say, what's the matter? Your face looks weird. I go, you never understand. I didn't tell her the story about the sex and stuff.

I had to make up some fucking lie about that. I haven't seen her in 30 fucking years. And I felt like calling up going, what happened that night? What the fuck? I mean, I have never done. anything like that in my life. Make a girl leave a house. She was already fucking with a, she was already, and Lou Donato, I know he was looking for me, because years later I heard

that I robbed the money that you rob Lou Donato's house. He sent the mafia looking for you or some shit. But it's just amazing. 30 fucking years later. That's it. That's all I got to say, people. Facebook, bringing people together. Bringing people together. That's why, brother, you never know who the fuck are you going to bump into. And I want to know how she even remembered. Because I didn't fucking remember. I don't remember. And I'm going to call her today. Oh, wow.

Oh, I'm going to friend her and ask her. I've been thinking about it all night. When I woke up this morning, I knew it. I got to find out what the fuck happened that night. She's got kids now. She got two kids. Oh, good, okay. She lives in Florida.

What do you think she was going to happen to her life? I don't know. I mean, that's not, I don't know. What if she was waiting for you? She still does Coke? I don't know. There's so many possibilities. 30 years later?

Yeah. Lee? Just because you'd put. Put a nice shirt on. Don't insult me. All right. For the second. Anyway, we're going to be

the San Jose Improv next weekend, the 10th through the 13th. That's always a fucking party. Lee will not be there. Your girlfriend will be looking for you. Melissa. Oh yeah, that was fun.

That was fun last year. That was very fun last year. Then Vegas, you're coming to Vegas for one night. And then I'll be at the Pioneer Club and Reno. That's the fucking three shows. One on Friday and two on Saturday. It always happens in motherfucking Joe.

lie. What do you think about that, Cucks? I love it. And also, I gotta give just in case, just in case, Hulu Plus, for all your fucking TV fucking needs, all right. I don't know how many times I gotta fucking tell you people that Hulu Plus has got something for you. You know what they got for you? All the shows you fucking watch. That's what they got for you. From fucking Saturday Night Live to the daily show, to fucking kid shows. And you know what it costs you? What's it cost you, Lee? Cost you nothing for two weeks and then $7.99 a month. $7.99 a fucking month to get topped on entertainment on all your fucking devices.

Roku, the fucking iPad, the fucking pad. What else do you get it on? The Xbox, PS, PlayStation, any connected TVs, basically if it has an internet connection on the screen, you're probably going to be able to use it. There you go to Huluplus.com. Go there, tell them we sent you. Go to the box and press in. Joey. Joey.

J-O-E-Y. and get your two weeks of subscription to Hulu Plus. All right. That's it. That's all we got today. It was a slow-paced show, but it is what it is. We'll be back Wednesday night.

We're going to discover the roots of disco Wednesday fucking night, all right? Do you anything to tell these cucksuckers leave? I love them. Thanks for coming out to this. It was fun. What about that black guy that we gave the half of Gumi 2 at the end? If you're watching or you're listening, give us a fucking shout-out, Cucksuck.

I forgot what your name was. I wanted to give you a shout-out. Did you forget everyone what his name was? No, no, I was gone at that point. And then the girl, the couple who at the last live podcast, or the two ago gave me the Green Hornet on stage, they were there with the Green Hornet too, so it's... You didn't need that one, did you?

No, no. Well, neither did you. It was... You had it. No, I had the half you gave me, and then the quarter, and then the espresso beam, which I don't know how bad that is. How fucked up with you at night? Pretty bad. I, with the half... But if you noticed, the first half I gave it,

You weren't fucked up. I was fucked up, but I was still loyal to talk. You weren't fucked up, though. See, you're building the resistance. No, yeah, no, yeah. The half and the government and the... You always told me you go home and go to sleep one and the half. You can't, no more sleep in a lot.

You're a general. You're a Jew general. It's so... It just affects me now. It's not like I'm going... I wish I was that kind of high where I could go and do stuff. I'm jealous. When I got home thinking...

What if I locked your fucking doors out? Where would you sleep? Huh? You couldn't sleep. If I took your keys from you, you couldn't go home and sleep. You'd have to be forced to do things. And that's how you... That's what I'm saying to you.

You think I'd break your ball. No, but I wouldn't start going and sit on a bench, like a homeless person. I'd rather you do that than go home. Oh, my God. I'd rather you sit on a homeless bench and watch two squirrels jump up and down on each other than fucking you go home. Because when you go home, you go to sleep, you're getting an old son. It's a beautiful day to be alive, Lee. Yeah.

I mean, when I'm high, I do go to sleep. But no, I've been, I'm really starting to leg the gym. So that's great. You liking it? Yeah, yeah, in an hour on the elliptical. What's the class you're taking today? You're taking a class today? I haven't, I didn't, I think there are classes.

Let's pick a class. I want to do spin. I've heard biking. What time is a spinning class? I don't know what time it is today. We'll go look. Let's see, we'll wait. We'll wait.

Go to fucking 24-hour fitness and see what time in North Hollywood spin classes. I'm going to drive you today. I'm going to go with you. you today. That's it. Now you piss me off, Coxson. All right, let's find it. Can I go jump up in the other way? You're green and yellow shirt? What are you going to do? No, no, I have gym clothes and stuff.

Um, see all classes. Here we go. Don't bullshit me, Coxs. Hold on. Don't let me turn up. Don't bullshit me, Coxsuck. I'll send Joshua Mikowski after you, you know what I'm saying? Oh, God. It's a little fart right there. Nobody got that feeling is hurt. Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm.

Oh yeah. Yeah. What the fuck, Lee? I'm trying to find it. What the fuck, Lee? Keep saying loading. 24-hour fitness. You're gonna go to this fucking class day.

I love you, cocksuckers. It's a beautiful day to be alive. You're an American. Grab your dick, grab your gun, shoot somebody if you have your fucking doubts. But don't just fucking sit there. You gotta do something with yourself. You understand me?

I love you guys. Have a great week. Fucking, we'll see you Wednesday night or Wednesday morning. we haven't decided yet and keep your fucking fingers. You need all of them for the 4th of July. Stay black. I love you. Now that the show's over, don't forget to sign up for your free trial of Hulu Plus.

Hulu Plus has you binge on thousands of hit shows anytime, anywhere, on your TV, PC, smartphone, or tablet. Support this podcast and get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus when you go to Huluplus.com or go to joey-diaz.com or go to joey-d-diaz-net and click on the Huluplus banner. Don't forget to sign up for DulloshavClub.com. Get high-quality razor sends your door every month for a fraction of weight. pay at retail. Now go to dollar shaveclub.com forward slash church or just go to joey ds.net and click on the dollar shave club banner. And as we mentioned the show is sponsored by on it. Go there for all your supplements and

I don't know what did you say? It's improving. Optimization. Optimization. Use a code word church to get 10% off and go to escape pot tank com. Mention joey d.S and save 200.4.4. He wants to hear from me. And everything is all right Homies and I'm ax and y'all Which part me on the court

Last week fucked around and got a triple double Freaking niggas every way like MJ I can't believe today was a good The showers static from the cowards Because you're just in a war action As I ran it went to show dogs' house They was watching you on TV raps What's the haps on the crap