The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament - #197 | LEE SYATT | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: September 19, 2022

Welcome to UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT..... It's Monday, September 19th… Today we're in-studio with LEE SYATT!  https://www.instagram.com/leesyatt https://www.twitter.com/leesyatt https://www.leesyatt.com This podcast is ALWAYS presented by ONNIT! https://www.onnit.com This episode is also brought to you by DraftKings & Better Help… DRAFTKINGS Support the show by downloading the DraftKings Sportsbook App and using code JOEY. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. New customer offer void in NH/OR/ONT-CA. $200 in Free bets: New customers only. Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 wager. $200 issued as eight (8) $25 free bets. Ends 9/19/22 @ 8pm. Early Win: 1 Early Win Token issued per eligible game. Opt in req. Token expires at start of eligible game. Min moneyline bet $1. Wagering limits apply. Wagers placed on both sides of moneyline will void bet. Ends 1/8/23 @ 8pm ET. See terms at sportsbook dot draftkings dot com slash football terms. BETTER HELP Visit https://www.betterhelp.com/Diaz for 10% off your first month.  Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don't forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #DraftKings #BetterHelp #LeeSyatt The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media:   https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast   Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... https://spoti.fi/unclejoeysjoint

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What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? It's Monday the 19th. Welcome to another fun-filled week on the motherfucking joint. The guest is the one and only. The master of disaster, the flying fucking Jew. We had a great time. I'm still fucking recovering from last night, guys. Honest to God, I had a recover.

big man that was a great night last night yes it was uh if you guys got tickets to come to the show any of the shows it's a it was a real fucking blast and it I mean the whole night was phenomenal just going into New York City was

just fucking the energy there was so many fucking people in that city last night I've been going to that city since the fucking 60s and what I saw last night I mean it was the opening night of genera the The feast of San Giro, I think, on Thursday night. And I think, what's her name?

Was that the garden? Schumer. Really? Oh, really? I think either that or a Boston Garden, but there were a lot of fucking people in New York last night out. Nobody gave a fuck about COVID. COVID is officially over, guys.

Let me tell you something. It's so funny. Breaking news. Yeah, they're revving you up with that fucking vaccine that they only tried on eight mice. Has he even tried on fucking human And they're gearing up to fucking shoot you to death Nobody cares about fucking COVID

It doesn't even They keep selling this fucking vaccine The booster Fuck you Fuck you Nobody's even in the mood to hear COVID last night There were maybe five dumb motherfuckers Walking around New York with a mask on

Let me tell you there was so many people The mask wouldn't work last night Like there was so many fucking germs out The mask were not gonna work but it was it took us 20 minutes just to get off our fucking block like we went through 10 lights

and moved like an inch that's how packed the fucking city was last plane and the Sony theater fucking beautiful nice and rustic they got good food the staff was great very nice very fucking nice I want to give a shout out to laughing gas

for fucking showing up throwing away some fucking weed to the people people were fucking happy night. A lot of Puerto Ricans last night. A lot of Spanish people. I love you, motherfuckers. Borikwa. But yeah, it was it was too fine knocking the mic

off to stand and shit and fucking smoking. There was so much, there had to be 10 pounds of wheat back there. Yeah. Oh, I walked in. I didn't even get to really go in the green room because we got there late and I just, but I ran in at the end and I was like, oh, it smells like Joe's here. Oh, there were

mushrooms. They were fucking chalked. covered mushrooms that the chick was given out. I ate three pieces of that. Oh, Jesus. Oh, it was fucking superb. But I got to be honest to you guys. Let me tell you something. I was not nervous at all.

Like it didn't weigh on me all week. It was like I was just going to do a set. It felt good. It was great to be in New York City. The energy. The energy in New York is fucking world class. It really fucking is. That's the L.A.

don't have that. No. You know, there's a lot of great cities in this country, but the energy in New York when it's on, I mean, we saw Mr.

Softie selling ice cream at 11 fucking o'clock. I'm like, who the fuck is eating Mr. Softie? And there were a fucking line of people out there. It was just superb, man.

New York City, when New York City's on, it's fucking on, Jack. When New York City's on, last night, could have been an 8 in the morning night for us.

If we really, It could have been scary. Because we could have stayed at the Sony Theater for like an hour or two and then gone to eat. And my plan was to go to Wohop and get Chinese food in China. Oh, but it closes at 10. They used to be open 24 fucking hours. So the city has changed a lot, guys.

I've been in the city five times before last night, and I never saw it like that. Never. But it was just, it felt so fucking cool. Like just to, A, like just to do. stand up in New York? I was thinking, when I got back to the hotel last night, I was thinking about like the, literally the first night I met you was at the old ha-ha on Lancashem and you were closing that show out with like seven alcoholics and like a homeless person

in the, like it was like there were old couches. It was, it was not the glitting glamour of Broadway and fucking what, like what? 10 years later. It was just so cool. It was just, there's really, there's no other way to describe it. That it was just an awesome, from every point of view was an awesome night.

And I gotta tell you something, there was 10 big comedy shows going on in the city. I walked by a couple that they were like out there. Comedy Central, yeah, yeah, those guys were there. Guys, there were 10 huge comedy shows in the city last night. You know, I don't know how many bands played. There was bands on, in time. square plane right on the road

fucking energy was tremendous guys you know I don't know last night did not feel like a COVID night last night what I saw the people walking around nobody was worried about COVID

nobody gave a fuck if you showed up with a COVID gun and sprayed it they wouldn't have given a fuck last night they would have said fuck this well out to have a fucking tremendous time you know it's just weird

when you don't do stand-up for a long. Like, I didn't, you have, I didn't know what to think when I got back here. I really didn't, guys. I was confused. I was going through a bunch of shit, and I just did not want to be caught up and people throwing bottles and stuff.

I was hearing shit. And then over time, I said, I got to get my life together. I got to do something. I got, something, nobody's going to hire me to work. Like, nobody's not Costco. Nobody's going to give me a fucking.

So I was like, God damn, I got to go crack some jokes. And as soon as I said, I'll do it one time. see how it feels. And it felt great. And it was what my house needed. My house needs for me to go out a few nights a week.

Like my house really needs for me to go out. Two, three nights a week. You have to, you know, you cannot sit in that fucking house. You know, this whole thing that happened for two years, people disappeared in themselves. During COVID, there was a time when I first got here. I'm not going to lie to you. Listen, this week, September 22nd is on Thursday.

It's one year that I've been alive. Like I've been alive for a year now. Why do you remember the day? Because that was the first day I went to acupuncture and I was petrified. When she was putting the needles on me, I was fucking sweating bullets. I'm like, I'm going to give her COVID. She's going to give me COVID. And then I took a one o'clock private.

Jiu-Jitsu? I had never done it. I had lifted weights until then, but I had not done any jiu-jitsu. And against what I was thinking, I'm like, I got to go do something. Let me just go. see what's going on up there and I went in and I remember as I left

I shook coach's hand he just called me at the Sean and I said I'll be back and I go this was tremendous today for more reasons than one I couldn't even move

like on the floor I was so rusty from Jiu-Jitsu I was breathing heavy but when I got up that day I go okay and now I'm headed

to premiere the Sopranos so all that happened in one day and then that was the same day All the same day. Oh, shit. It was a Wednesday, and I fucking, the car picked me up.

I was a little nervous. My friends came. We all took a ride into the city. And when I got to the fucking premiere, I go, where are you going to drop me off? So they're driving, and he goes right there. Well, he dropped me off into 2,000 people. It was on the street, and it was where you walked the green carpet, the red carpet, whatever. So when I got there, these people jumped on me.

and I had nowhere to go, so I just started hugging motherfuckers because what else are you going to do? I just was hugging and I'm like, if I don't have COVID now, I'm never going to get COVID. I did the red carpet and then I sat outside the theater.

I was one of the last people to go in that fucking theater. Like I didn't not want to go in the beacon theater with 2,000 people. I called you from Florida. Remember when there was a restaurant, the first time I saw a restaurant with like 100 people in it? Oh, that's right. You went in there, ran out. I was like,

but after, it was. like a year at that point, it was jarring. Like, it was, like, what, are there supposed to be this many people in here? You just got used, like, it's, I think that's why you're saying, like, it's good to get out of the house, because, like, I think that's, like, working from home is great. But at some point, I think you start to go a little bit crazy. Just, like, you go from your bed to your chair and you're wearing, like, a nice shirt with, like, maybe just shorts on.

And then you go to bed, you got the Uber Eats come. You go to Netflix, and then you're like, I don't know what day it is today. I don't know. I haven't seen anybody. The only person I see is Zoom. And especially, like, for you, for how, what is it? 30 years, six nights a week you're out at clubs. And now, like, you're, like, you know, and not saying you're not having fun,

but now you're going to softball games and a restaurant. Like, that's all, like, it must have been nice to get out. of the house again. I think it was nice for everybody. I think it was nice for everybody. A lot of people forgot how to act with the pandemic. That's what we're finding out now. But last night, it was like the pandemic never happened for me, you know.

And it was just very interesting to see the people out, the attitude of people. I mean, it just blew me to fuck away. But I got to be honest with you, since you're on the subject, I don't know if you watched Bill Maher last Sunday night. Bill Maher had a great, I forget the guy's name now, a podcast guy, I listened to his podcast he's been on Rogan. This guy went off on home, on working

from home, and he made some great points. He's like, we're in a fucking volatile society anyway for workers. And now you want people to work from fucking home. And people, they do, they have forgotten how to live, they forgot.

You know, and this, listen, you're walking into your, you don't even have to walk into with Starbucks. But you walking into your favorite coffee shop and getting a scone and a cup of coffee in the morning before work, that's probably, those are the things that we need. That little hand in hand with people,

you know, it's great to walk into Starbucks and have a conversation with somebody early in the morning and hit you with a shot of bad breath. You know, it's fucking. But all those things add up, guys. You know, my life now, for a long time, I got up in the morning, I do what I got to do, and then I go to the gym.

I get that overweight. And then, but after the fucking gym, if I don't go to Jiu-Jitsu, I don't see anybody. And even at the gym, you probably don't see many people. But that's why I like New York. Because I'm like, I don't really like talking to a lot of people. But you're always, like, in New York, if you're walking, you're always interacting. Like, when you were talking about the show, I think if we get there early enough next time, it might be fun to just do like a block around, like, around just to like get the, like,

because when you're walking, you're walking by people, some homeless guys yell. It's just like I love I love walking around New York Even and you used to talk about doing it On a smoking a joint I've never even done that I just like doing it just to like soak it in Like a day like today

Like yesterday Sunday It was fucking gorgeous Yeah You just take a bus And you go down to like one of the parks Washington Square You know go to Central Park Walk around

Get a burger get a hot dog I tell you man I forgot how much fun that is Just going to the city You know, you don't have to get fucking drunk. You don't have to do Kualoo. You don't have to get your dicks out. Just walk around.

And you'll see people on the street playing music. You'll see a bunch of shit. And that's, that makes, that's harmony, man. That's what, this was bad what happened in those two years. And they're finding out the effects of it now with children. And, you know, this guy last week was talking about how bad working from home is. How bad it is when guys go on dating. sites because you forget the social of it.

It's just a scroll. We're forgetting all this shit. You know, I got to be honest to you. Guys, kids do not know how to work. Young kids today, like when you go to a restaurant or go to an ice cream place and there's just somebody young, there's no work ethic whatsoever. Whatsoever, there's no work ethic.

You know, so we got to get, and then. then they, you know, Trump and Biden have both stopped a lot of immigration. So immigrants are the number one fucking workers we have, you know. Yeah. So it's like we're in a conundrum right now. I mean, you know, if guys don't know how to go to a bar and pick up a chick, and it's not, I'm not saying it wrong. If you don't know how to communicate, you know, I mean, I could never go on a dating

side if I was 28. It wouldn't work for me. Why? just wouldn't work for me. Like you need to be in, like, in front of them and like... I'd be embarrassed. Listen. See, I'm embarrassed to do it that way.

I don't like sending tapes. Remember that the blank tape. You know, but no, I don't like sending tapes. And there's a reason why I don't like sending tapes. Because I miss that, I miss that energy from you. When I go into an audition, even if I suck at the audition, we get to talk and communicate. So when I leave, she goes, that wasn't a good audition.

But he's a sweet guy. He's a nice guy. He was prepared. You know, it just wasn't fan. You know what I'm saying? You don't get that at all. Right. When I put an audition on tape, I mean, I'm grateful that I put these audition on tapes.

But listen, you just lost whatever percentage you have of booking an audition. When I put it on tape, I just lost 15 points. I just lost 15 points because I didn't go. Listen, you know how many times I've got into an audition and just been a nice. person and fucked up the audition and she's turned off the camera and said, Joey, let's start this from scratch. I want you to get this. Then they become your cheerleaders. And they talk to you. When I fucking send a tape, you're not going to do that. I got lucky last week when I sent the tape and they hit me twice, dye your hair and then do the audition standing up. I knew when they gave

me the note, I was in. They don't give me notes on fucking self-tapes. You send the tape? I sent the tape to the play. I never heard back. But again, you know, I had maybe a slight chance of getting that play with the audition on tape. I lost it.

Same thing with women, guys. If I, and I got to be honest to you, if I swipe a phone and I see her a picture of a girl, and she's attractive, she's like a six, right? I'm going to go, not really.

And that's most guys. No, no, no. I'm just talking from the heart here. That's most guys. We all want a 10, right? But guess what? If I meet that girl and have a conversation with her, maybe she's a fucking sweetheart.

Maybe, you know, there's something else I like about her, a childish quality. Maybe she wears a ponytail. And she reminds her my girlfriend in the first grade. I don't fucking know. But you miss all that. So then what do you do when you swipe and you press? Do they come over and fuck?

Well, when you look like me, no. but for some people they do but no it's it's uh but you're right because it sometimes like you'll go and like you'll have like a really cool message back and forth but when you get to be in person it's awkward because like you the nice the reason why I always did online dating

was because I was shy and awkward and like you could think about your response when they're right in front of you and like you can't like rewrite your message eight times some weird like sometimes the problem with on like one of the problems with online dating is sometimes you'll talk for too long and then you'll have nothing to talk about like when you actually meet them like it's it's not good for like actually

getting to like in a relationship getting to know you getting to love you you didn't know you didn't miss out at all but it's i think people are it's it i like it there are benefits to working from home like i feel like i get more done you do Yeah, because when you go into the, the thing, yeah, the weird thing about the office, but, and it's weird, I get maybe a little bit less done at the office, but you get certain things done more quickly. Because instead of sending an email and waiting for someone to get back to you, you can just look over there and say, hey, Jim, what am I supposed to do with this? So there are benefits to go into the office, but with everything that's happened, people just don't want to. And I get it. I get it, but it's not going to be good.

I don't know what's going to happen. I like the social aspect of it. Yeah. I mean, listen, man, I fucking quit high school. Like, there's a 40-year anniversary in October, and they keep bugging me. And I'm like, guys, I'd be a hypocrite. I fucking quit high school, you know?

Like, I fucking, I don't even know what we're talking about. You said it's been 40 years. You like the social aspect of going into work. I like I didn't do good in school I had good grades but I like going to school to talk to talk to teachers

and see my friend it's like my daughter I asked her a month ago you ready to go to school she's like fuck yeah that's her social life it's studio 54 to them you know it's studio 54 to them

so and look like my agent my agent work from home my agent New York Matt great guy and I was talking to him about it and he made a little garage he took his garage you made an office and, you know, it's great.

And he fucking works like, you know, eight to ten. And then he takes a walk for 40 minutes. And then he comes back and he does another two hours. You have to, as long as you have a schedule and you adhere to that schedule, like you only want to sit down two hours. After two hours is the law diminishing returns. Get up, take a walk.

I'd rather you take a break. That's why they give you a break at a regular job. 15 minutes. You smoke a cigarette. We take a half hour break. Yeah. But they track you now. Like they can track if your mouse, like if you're typing.

Right. So you have to get a computer thing and put a weight on your mouse. Oh, yeah, people are doing some pretty stuff. I know a check that does it. She fucking puts the mouse puts like a weight on it or something. You buy an app. And it makes it move. Yeah, and it makes it move.

And she leaves all day. She fucking leaves. To get 800 messages. Where are you? Oh, my internet didn't work. No, on the phone. I've seen it in the daytime. She's a mom.

She's one of the moms we hang out with. But I always like the social. Listen, man, the pandemic fucked me up. And I got to be honest with you. There's still people in the house. Oh, yeah. There's still people in the house. I don't know if you guys knew this.

This weekend was a big weed expo in Jersey. Yeah, and Cheech was there. Chong. Oh, okay. Chong showed. And the guy, Chong's guy called me last week. Hey, he's going if you want to go. And I'm like, and I go, bro, that was the quickest 360.

During the pandemic, I think for a year, Chong didn't leave his bedroom. I remember you telling me about that. People would come over and leave food in his bedroom. Like, there's one assistant. He wouldn't even leave the bedroom. He had a desk in there and a backroom in there, and he didn't leave the bedroom.

And then he got better and better. You know, he was scared. He's 70 fucking years old. I don't blame him. So these guys stayed in. And the guy called the other day, man, I want to let you know. He's coming.

And I'm like, that was quick Because he was in the fucking closet He goes, he just snapped one day He couldn't take it no more He just snapped And that's what happened You can't listen man You can't sit in this fucking house

All the time You can't And I've learned that I'm not a house person I'm not a house mouse At all You know I like going out I like talking to people

I like going to the gym You know Jiu Jitsu I went to Jiu Jitsu because I was lonely Right And I wanted to meet people in the area. Guys, my age, you know, whatever.

And it's worked. I went up there more for a social than for exercising benefits and I found love with the place. And there's days. I have nothing going on, but I'll make sure to go to Jiu-Jitsu so I get my social. But how, like, just bringing it back to last night

because I think there's probably a difference between like the socially you get Jiu-Jitsu and the social you get doing stand-up. Like, how does is that part of You might not need to do it every night anymore But do you need to do it every couple of weeks I need to do it once a week

For my health You know why? Because you go out And you watch other comics Like right now I'm not looking to fucking Sell out of the arena Right

That's ship's sale I just want to do comedy And be happy And make a little money And see my friends This is what this is for You know I get my friends to come to the shows

Like my nephews came last night. I love that they were there. You know, next time my nieces will come. My other nephews coming from Ruth Chris. He's going to bring some stakes next time. I was going to stop and get pastrami from the pickled herring last night. But I'm like, it's our first show. I don't want to stink up that SUV with pastrami and whatever.

But, no, the difference in my social with comedy and whatever, I mean, with Jujitsu, I'm a fat fuck. I'm in the third row with my gear all fucking twisted and I'm breathing heavy and I'm sweating and my hair's all fucked up. When I go do comedy, you know, I don't know. It's more for me, I don't know. Like, I really liked the people I saw last night in the audience.

Like, I really liked those people last night. They were fucking tremendous. And, like, just even, one of the first things you said when you got into the car you looked at your whoop you're like I burned 800 calories and something that I think people might not understand like if you're watching you think Joe like you might think like you're like the crazy like while like really all the time and you're really like most of the time you're kind of subdued and like but to see you like go off on stage it just it's fun like it just as your friend it's it's fun it's fun it's

fun to see you do that. Like it was just like, like, like, I, like, I, like, like, I, like, when you make yourself laugh on stage is the bad, I ever, the audience loves it. But like, even, because you, like, you have a few different laughs, but you have one where it catches you by surprise where you, where you said something you've never said before. And it, and it catches him by surprise. And the audience, it just, it's, it's, it's fun to see like people have fun. Like, you know? It's really fun to see people have fun.

And it's really good. when you're the Captain Kirk of their fun. Yeah. Like you take them to where, you know, it's a great feeling. And you could do a thousand things. You could get your dicks up, nice catch and them out. Nothing matches being on stage. It's true.

Listen, man, this is a weird thing to say, and I know Lee's going to relate to this, and he's going to go, go fuck yourself. But even when you're bombing, it's a little fun sometimes. Because at first, It hurts. Like your first three years in comedy when you bomb and your face gets red

and it hurts. But after a while, you have to look at bombing like, this is necessary. For me to strive, I got a bomb. I got a bomb good. For me to go home and get pissed off and go, you know, people need to get smacked in the face.

There's some people that don't react well. Like, you see them in a fight, they'll go into the first round in a UFC fight and they get beat up and thrown down. Then they come out. the second round they start smacking motherfuckers and throwing them out of the cage

because some people need to get smacked three times to get them fucking going. So for me, like after I came, you know, in the beginning when you're doing comedy of first two years, it's like fucking having a band and your first night, you know, first night, fucking the symbol breaks, the string breaks on the guitar,

you know, it hurts. That's psycho, that's trauma for some people. Yeah. I've had some bombings, okay, that have been traumatic. It's like coming too fast, you know. It's like fucking your favorite chick and coming in a minute. But at least you still come when that happens. When you're bombed, nothing good happens.

But you bomb when you come, you bomb. But bombing is the first three years, especially when you get cocky and you invite your employees. You're come on down, I'm going to kill it tonight. Also, you go up there and it's fucking, and you're employee, the next day. day they're like, that was very interesting. And you're like,

should I shoot myself now or in an hour? It sucks. When you have to face people again the next day after you bombed, you know, that's why I could never be on a fucking cruise ship. Can you imagine bombing that you breakfast with these people the next day? And they're looking at you. It was a very interesting set last night.

You were very good, and you know you bombed. And I was like, that's why when you said, like, by the beginning of this, that, oh, I wasn't nervous. last before the show I was fuck I like I for pretty much the whole day

was like ready to like just explode like just shit my well yeah dude first okay for I don't want to let you the show or the audience down and then I like you said

like you haven't done it in a while I just started it up I didn't plan on like when I came last time when we went to Uncle Vinnie's you just sent me up and I hadn't done it. And now I'm doing, I've just started on a few open mics.

And, like, to just go up there and not really know what's going to happen. And, like, it made me think of, like, the first time I did a club with you was at Cap City in Austin. And I was, like, two months in a stand-up. Danny Brown was in the back. It was a, I had just done the fourth wall a few times, which is eight comics in a strip mall. And then we're at a sold-out Cap City, which is, like, you know, As a comedy fan, I've heard about it. And I get off, I did three minutes.

It went fine for two months in. And I stood up against this back wall, and my leg shook because of the adrenaline. And now I called Eric, our buddy, on the way to Jersey a couple days ago. He goes, like, dude, you're on, like, you and Joey are on Broadway. Like, Joey's on Broadway. And I, we're driving in through Times Square. And you do the thing, you love to fuck with me a little bit. We're in the car.

You're like, all right, we're going to. get there at 808, you're going on at 815 for cold. And I'm just in there. And then like the people, the thing are like, oh no, Jay is good. The DJ's going to go up first. And I don't know what's going to happen. And I, in my head, I'm just going to go up there and have nothing to say and just stare off into silence and like run off.

And it went fine. But it was just, yeah, I was losing my shit in the car. I just kept staring at my phone and like not even like really seeing the, the, words that were on the screen. I just kept going back and forth looking at nothing. And oh my God, but then you, like, R.E.U, Matt Fulteron, all you guys destroyed it. So, but yeah, I was petrified. I was going to bomb. I was petrified. I was going to bomb until I looked at my material. And let me tell you some guys, I didn't do 30 minutes of material last night that I had planned. I got off at 45 minutes because I thought there was, you know, I thought there

union. Next time I'll do an hour. Oh, they don't care? No, he told me, did you have the whole night. I didn't know. I thought we had to get off at 10. Yeah.

So I set the alarm for 10. I saw you to set your alarm. Yeah, I never set my... I never set my alarm. But I have wanted to, because it's New York. It's a theater. I don't know if they're union. Right.

Dog, after the fucking union. Yeah. One minute late, you get charged like doubles. Two thousand hours. Something like that. I got to have the electrician, unplug it for $250. And then look at his assistant,

who gets one. 125 and then they got to plug it back in for 375 guys if you get that job take it take it 375 to plug in 250 every time you plug that's it just plug it in 250 and the assistant that's watching them gets a buck in a quarter to watch them to witness it so we're in the wrong fucking uh we're in the wrong fucking business but no I was well yesterday I had a I had a I don't on comedy days listen I was a little worried Let me tell you what my problems are. I don't like doing comedy with my family around.

Right. The day of. Because I got to be involved with them. So yesterday, that's the only thing that had me a little that they're around. But then I went to the softball games. Yeah. And the fucking softball games were great yesterday. Yeah.

Lee got to experience the fucking softball games. Tell them what they brought to the softball games, dog. Oh, what didn't they brought? They catered. Oh. A double header. We cater a double fucking header, guys. They brought sandwiches from a place.

I'm going to tell you what the name of this place is. Fucking unbelievable, these fucking sandwiches. The name of this place is, it's a Brooklyn place, but they fucking opened up in Staten Island. The name of this place is Royal Crown Bakery. 1350 Highland Boulevard and Staten Island

guys these fucking sandwiches you know a place is really Italian when one of the sections is their menu is prosciutto and you got a prosciutto

and Supacca and Supat and salami and but this was the one that impressed me they have a mortadella section so you can get

mortad Look at this, Perjudo and mozzarella, Prejudo with mozzarella and roasted peppers, Prejudo with mozzarella and grilled egg plant, Prejudo with mozzarella and fried egg plant, mozzarella with sun-dried tomatoes, Presudo with mozzarella and carbonata, prosciutto with mozzarella and broccoli rhod.

Pazudo with mozzarella and arugula. It don't fucking stop. Mozilla, Copacola, super side. But mortadella with Mozarella, with Mozarella. Fucking mortadella with Mozarella and roasted peppers. Mortadella with American cheese Hand has a whole section Grilled chicken

They got fried chicken sandwiches Mazzarella and roasted peppers This place is fucking sensational One of the moms catered it for us She got me and Lee An Italian fucking sandwich That was sensational But tell them the clinker of the fucking day

They brought chocolate bread Listen I don't know Who invented chocolate bread It's like a No no it's like a No No Oh, it was actual chocolate.

It's Italian bread with chocolate chips in that motherfucker and, like, syrup. And it's, like, sweet. Holy shit. It's like, uh, it's like almost like kind of like a croissant, but not really. It was just like soft in the middle. And the thing was he told me the night before. He told me the night before, listen, there's going to be an Italian sandwich there for you. I, we get there at like 1130 and there's, like, the mom, because she had to go,

I don't know how far away that was, but like in the middle of the second game, she appeared. I don't know. Like, like, like an angel. with like three bags worth of food. And you, her husband and I sat there. And I don't think we talked. We didn't say one more. Look at the game.

It just the sandwiches disappeared. Oh my God. We kept trying to think, what the fuck cheese is on this sandwich? It was delicious. Roasted peppers. I mean, it was fucking out of this mind. And we didn't even do it. See, because you're all, you're about speed and convenience,

but they individually packed little like containers of the balsamic vinaigarette and I took that I poured it and you were like this is already good by the time the balsamic got there you didn't you didn't have time for it no how good was it oh because it just soaked up into the bread but the bread was thick enough that it didn't make it soggy it just kind of absorbent oh I'm telling you this was and they and they didn't put any vegetables on it that's how you it was cheese not no lettuce no tomato go to subway bitch if you want that shit. There was no lettuce, no tomato,

no vinegar oil, no fucking Mike's Way, whatever the fuck. You know, go fuck yourself. This was plain, I mean, it was, yeah, fuck you with Mike's way with the with the vinegar and shit. But that was, the softball game, we had a double header. We sat there.

We got suntan. And her team is fucking like, like they would, I think one score was 17 to 2. It almost wasn't fair. I think Mercy walked Five times. Like they just wouldn't throw it near her. They wouldn't pitch to mercy.

They walked her. They kept walking her. And some other girl hit a blast. They won both games, 17. Yeah. All their innings, they would score five runs. And they were fucking come back. The defense was tremendous.

And the coach didn't, he was yelling at them like they were losing. He's rough on them, right? But they need that shit. It's a different, I'm happy you got to experience a Saturday with me. here. Oh yeah. And I love how when you mess with the girls, because they're like eight, nine years old and you're like, Ava, you're a savage. And she just looks like,

you're like, what am I supposed to say to this? And I show them knives. I bring them the girls knives and they go nuts. I wasn't going to say that part of that. I didn't know if that was out. Yeah, you took it out and one girl's like, I don't think you're supposed to have that. Like, don't worry about it. I take out this big knife and I go, girls, this is your good luck

charm. Let's go out there. Let's fuck these motherfuckers up. They're like, yeah. Uncle Joey, do you have the knife? Yeah, I got the knife. And then, like, everyone's paying the kids for a home run. It felt like it was like Jersey. Like every home run, the kids got a $20 bill.

And then, like, they got, what, didn't since they won, didn't they get Carvel or something? Yeah, they went and got Sundays. This is cross from Carvel. This place is fucking tremendous. And then little Joey came, and I give him $20 a week. Oh, my God. Everybody. These little kids get $20 from me a week.

If he plays football, I give him a 20. He plays flag football, but he tackles motherfuckers because he's Little Joey's my dog. So I always say, how many flags you got? I got eight. How many tackles three? Okay. He scored a touchdown.

So for every touchdown, I give him a 20. If he gets four flags, five flags, I give him ten. If he gets ten flags, I give him 20. And that's the deal we have. And every time he sees me, he just goes in my pocket. Give it to me. Give it to me, Uncle Joey. He came up, he said, money. Money, yes.

It's a different world, man, you know, and I'm happy you got to see it. I know Michael has seen it. I was a soccer game set in a minute. Oh, do you? You had your first soccer game. Yeah, it's, uh, guys, you know, you think about it. Like, I never, guys, I, listen,

I never thought I would watch girls football. It's just not something that Uncle Joe. in fact when I went to my father-in-laws he was watching girls'rop ball and I said something to my wife what's wrong watching girls swanpaw on the afternoon and now I fucking live for I mean I don't watch it on TV I was gonna say you're not

you're not gonna go to my daughter playing there it's not like yeah you're not watching like on ESPN 2 but it's like they like you always hear about like work life balance like you have work life balance now I didn't have it before guys I had no balance I had no balance in my life at all

and I didn't know what balance was. We don't get raised to have balance. We get raised to fucking succeed. We get raised to make it happen. You know, so I don't fucking understand that whole thing. You know, we're going for it. But I think it, like, I think it's doing good things for you. Because there were some things last night that, like, I think old joy might have got a little bit, got a little bit upset about.

Like, just like, you know, like with the truck. I just imagine and you were like calm Like you're like people Were walking next to the car This guy was walking next to the car Listening to your podcast We He just looked over he just looked over

He just turned to the side It's like that's dope there's Joey Yeah he looked at me at I had the window open at the light He looked at me and he goes I'm listening to you as we speak I go come over and we started talking He lived in West New York And shit

Yes listen guys you gotta, you know, I don't know. I, uh, I fucked up. You know, I fucked up during the pandemic, and I'm sorry I did. I was a little too scared. But I missed being social. I'm a social type dude.

Even, you know, three, four people. I love all that shit, watching football with guys, you know. So this was rough for a lot of people, but I'm happy that people fucking, uh, telling everybody go fuck themselves. That's it. I'm enough of this shit, you know. And now they're pushing a fucking, you know,

they're pushing vaccines like a motherfucker again. You know what? Relax. Nobody's dying. What are you doing? You know? People are starting to get that bearings back and I'm fucking happy. This messed with a lot of people.

And last night, like that's it. I'm not even thinking about it no more. Like, that's it. It's nothing to think about. You know, they keep pushing it, but we just say, fuck you. I'm not doing it. I mean, nobody, even the fucking,

because the last couple times I went into the city, cab drivers and Uber, people had mask on. They don't even have the mask on no more. So it's over. It's time to fucking get your mental together and get back out there and do what you were doing before this fucking shit started. Speaking of mental, now for a word from BetterHelp. What's happened, you bad motherfuckers? This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Guys, do you ever fix it on a problem so long that you don't know how to take the time to find a solution? It can be tough to train your brain to stay in problem-solving mode. when faced with a challenge in life. But when you learn how to find your way out, there's no better feeling. A therapist can help you accomplish, become a better problem-solver, making it easy to accomplish your goals. Listen, Dana helped me out a lot. I'm having a lot easier time now with my anxiety.

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Pressing Code Diaz And I'm giving you 10% off your first month All right, we're back you bad motherfuckers Don't forget to If you're having some problems at home Or you know, you're struggling with focus or whatever Better help or take you to the next level How do I know?

Because they took me to the next fucking level So what else is going on in your fucking world? Cuck sucker I'm just doing I'm doing really good I'm happy that football's back I'm just But I really am enjoying

doing stand-up. It was... I can't believe how you dove back into it. You came, you did the Jersey show, and all of a sudden he's talking to me. I'm going on an open mic in New Hampshire. I'm going to see this. But it's...

Because I never said that I didn't like say... I've always loved doing stand-up, but I just couldn't see myself struggling at it for like 10 years. It just seemed... When you think about that, it's a lot to put on, like... At least for me,

I overthink everything. thing. I'm like, oh, 10 years. It's going to be too much. But then just doing it with you in Jersey, it just showed me how much, because I don't really have fun like that. Like, I don't know. I'm a quiet person, but there's just something about being on stage that, like, I feel confident in a way that I, like, I don't usually feel. And I could, like, talk to people. I don't, I don't know what it is, but it's just, like, I've already made a couple friends in Boston. And I'm doing them at, like, bars like Worcester has like there's this one

bar with like animal heads on the wall it smells like feet it's been there since like the 60s I went to one bar where my because my girlfriend grew up in that area she's like people die there like they stab one bar has an open mic and they had to change names

because they got someone got stabbed there like two months ago so they just had to change names in the last year but it's it's fun it's fun to just you know, get out and do stuff. I'm having a lot of fun. Listen, those 10 years that you talk about and people worry about for anything, it's called an apprenticeship, okay? And no matter what you do,

they're going to take years off of you. No matter what you do, if you play the piano, you play the guitar, if you draw, whatever the fuck you do, they're going to take years off you. You know, it's going to cost you somewhere along the line. But why are you doing it? You don't look at it that way. So if you're at home and you're thinking about doing stand-up or joining a band or whatever, don't worry about that because when you're in it, you're in it. When you see fucking Matt Fultron last night, Matt Fultron has been working hard for 15 fucking years.

He's not thinking about it. He's a fucking working comic, but in the back of your mind, you know that that day could come at any minute, that somebody could see you, you could do a full. fucking video because you don't know what it's going to be guys you don't know what it's going to be until you fucking try it you might book a movie with fucking all the movie stars and the movie tanks and nobody knows who the fuck you are but then you might just do a fucking video of you singing a song and everybody knows who you are you're never going to know what's going to take you to the next

level until you do it but if you don't do anything you're not going to get to that next level anyway so do it all I was talking to jimmy the other day and jimmy was going you know 30 years in the business, you can't figure shit out. He goes, I do all these podcasts. Nothing works. Nobody ever says to me, hey, good podcast. He does Godfrey's podcast. Godfrey put a clip up.

It got a million hits. Good for him. And guess what? African Americans are going to Jimmy Florenti's shows. So do you understand? He did a bunch of white fucking podcast. Nothing happened from rock music. Ozzy Black Sabbath.

Ozzie's Boneyard. He does one. He does, what's his name? Godfrey. Godfrey's podcast. And, you know, he said the right things on it, the timing was right. But you don't plan that. You know, that's why nothing burns me up.

I saw some fucking jerk-off comics from New York about a year ago making statements. I went on the Rogan podcast and nothing really happened for me. What do you think is going to happen? You think the blue bird to happen is going to knock on your door the next day and go, hey, we saw you on Rogan yesterday. Let's open the floodgates. It's not like that. You might have to do Rogan four times before something happens.

But if you're depending on Rogan to blow your career up, then you're wrong. It's going on Rogan and what work you put in after Rogan. It's not the tonight show that gets you to the next level. Is what you're going to do afterward. Right. You know. But even for me, though, because that's so far away, like me making it in stand-up, I just, and I know people are going to be like, oh, you're 34, you're young.

To me, I'm realizing that I'm getting older. And even though I'm still young, I don't want to look back in 20 years. Like you said that, two years, it went by quickly. I don't want to look back in 20 years and feel like I didn't give it a shot. So even if I, because in, in like, reality, I'll probably never be a headline. I'd like to be fun. Who the fuck knows? But it's just fun.

You cannot put. put a fucking ceiling over your career. Right. You're going to do comedy. You're going to play the flute. You're going to do whatever the fuck you're going to do for your happiness. Yeah. Okay?

And it becomes a hobby. And it becomes whatever you want it to become. You have a day job. So, but never, guys, listen to me. I used to be Lee. I used to sound like Lee. Okay. Life had to kick me in the fucking teeth to show me that anything is possible.

in this world. Guys, take it from me. I was a felon. I had nothing going on. I'm not good looking. I lost my daughter. Nobody wanted to lurk with me. But I stuck with comedy.

Nobody wanted to hang out with me. The line is nobody wanted to lurk with me. Nobody wants to lurk with me, right? That's a shirt. Yeah. Do you think now at night I sit there and now I have a positive outlook more than I had before? Because when I did comedy in the beginning, yeah, it was to get out of being a criminal and become a human.

being, but I didn't know I was going to get to hang with Joe Rogan and Dave Chappelle and do comedy with Chappelle in 2001 and just a thousand things. Guys, I never saw a movie. If you think I was telling my friends, I'm going to be in a movie. But to go back to a podcast we did two weeks ago when we were talking about debt, and I'm like, listen, this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to be fair about this. I'm going to go into debt.

If I make it, I pay the bills. If I don't, you're in debt. But I'm going to make it because I need to pay these bills. I don't want to live my life as a fucking deadbeat. Right. So, guys, when you, you know, a kid was here. Joey, Joey came over the other day. We're watching college football.

Little Joey. The reason why I give him 10 bucks is because he didn't want to play. He goes there and he's like, I don't want to play. He's the toughest kid in the team. He's fucking a fucking a great athlete, and he's a little scared. He didn't like it. So I would talk to him every week. Joey, your father's going to fucking shoot you.

You better fuck. He's a little scared. Your dad's going to shoot you. You better go in that game. But let me tell you what happened. He was here two Fridays ago because they come over on Fridays. The girls hang out. Then Joey hangs out with me down here.

My wife hangs out with Joey's mom upstairs. We're watching college football and the guy scored. And I go, Joey, you run like that. And he looked at me like. And I go, Joey, that could be you. That could be you in 20 years. And I'm not lying to anybody. I'm not lying.

That could be you, Joey. hit him so hard he just passed out it was like giving him NyQuil he looked at me he's like it could be me boom he just passed out from the fucking thought of that yeah people really don't like people go yeah I'm gonna be a rock star

I'm gonna do this but in there at night they're crying they're like I don't want to do it I don't want to wear spend expense you know whatever fuck it is I don't want to do it I don't want to do it but don't ever fucking nudge yourself out because if your uncle Joey did it could you imagine what you could do

and I've been telling people this since I've been doing a podcast if I did this can you imagine what you could do with a loving family no drugs and people who care about your shit you know I did all this shit with nobody in my corner

yeah in 2000 2000 I met my wife I was nine years into comedy but those rough years I did on my own you know those were bus rides bombing nobody talks to you you know triple runs

that is not a fucking great career. Sleeping in your car, eating Subway, veggie and cheese sandwiches, that's not a great career, but it beat my alternative, which was prison.

Yeah, that's a lot better than prison. It beat my alternative. Listen, man, I got into comedy to get out of this criminal world. If I could do something with stand-up

and stupid movies and auditions, I can't imagine what you guys could do. But how much... I know, obviously, when you're broke, it must not, it's not fun. No.

But how much of that time was fun for you doing those gigs and doing those triple runs? Was it fun in the moment? Guys, you watch MTV and you see these bands, you know, and you're like, man, I wish I could do that, be on a fucking bus with Zach Wild, you know. But then now you're in the micro world. You're not hanging out with Zach Wild,

I'm not hanging out with Dave Chappelle. I'm not hanging out with Joe Rogan. I'm not hanging out with Bill Burrow Dean. It's just me on a Greyhound bus. And it reminds you of wanted back to all life. When Bon Jovi's singing it and he's on the video and he's on the bus and he's looking around and you know, you don't know those words.

Like when you listen to his words and Bob Seeger out in the road, the one song he's got, you know, that's what, like for me, I didn't care if I was alone. I didn't care. I didn't care. I had $3 in my pocket. I didn't give a fuck that my Walkman needed batteries. I was doing it.

Even if I was a feature act for 100 a night, guess what? I'm in it. I'm in it. And guess what? It was a lot of fun. And that's why I tell people, I'd do it all over again. Because I never knew what I was walking into. And how long would it take or how often would you see yourself improve?

Would be like every six months, oh shit, I did like. Every 90 days, I'd see something that would keep me alive. for another 90. Really? I would always go, if this doesn't change in 90 days, I'm quitting this shit.

I'm done with this shit. I go so cold. Why am I doing this? Why am I working for $100 a night? They only give me 50 up front and mail me a check. No, no, no, no. When I first started with Tribble,

was 85 a night. Oh. And he gave you 50 up front and 35 he mailed you. A month later. It's such a random number. How many $35 do you get? Well, it's every night.

So if you have six, shows and he owes you 6.35. Oh, okay. So you got to check two weeks later and shit like that. But I didn't give a fuck because I knew what the alternative was. When you're in it, you're not thinking, well, I got six more years to be good. No, because this lottery ticket could cash today. Yeah, or can never cash, which is, I mean.

If you put the work in and believe in your heart and stay pure to yourself, you'll cash a portion of it. It's not going to be the 21 million you wanted. You know what I'm saying? It could be 2100. But guess what? You did that. You did that. So when they pay me 2100, I'm really worth 10,000, but I can't raise my hand.

Guess what? I did this by cracking jokes. I did this by writing a song. Somebody paid me money to write a fucking soundtrack. You know, nobody knows my name. Can you imagine being a ghost writer? You're sitting there. at home watching TV and your commercial comes on for Cadillac and it's your

jingle, it's got 300,000 in the fucking mail for it because that's what you get from commercial music. When you do music for commercials, that's where you get rich quick. Yeah. And every time they keep playing, you get rich, Ching Ching, Qing, Qing, Ching. So, just being in the game, listen, if you think I'm any good at Jiu-Jitsu, you got rocks in your head. But I keep going. Because I know it will change for me. I know eventually out.

The switch is going to go off. I saw a picture. Did you demote yourself? Why did you do? Why did you take it? I saw that. I was like, did he take away his blue belt? I took away my own blue belt.

I didn't feel like a blue belt. It was a celebrity blue belt they gave me in L.A. No disrespect to Alberto. He saw something at me. I was working hard and stuff, but I didn't feel like a blue belt. And then I got the, I understood, what a blue belt meant and I accepted it.

But then I was like, I was off the mats for a year and a half. And if I sucked when I was on it at three times a week, how bad would I suck in it now? So when I joined Gracie, I started from scratch. I did a couple privates. And when I went in, he goes, if you want to put your blue belt on, you're more welcome.

I go, not at all. I want to start this program from scratch. So I went in with one strike. Wow. Yeah, I didn't feel like a blue belt. So if you don't feel like a blue belt, how can I parade myself? I'm barely a white belt with two stripes. That's how good I am.

I got a scissors sweep. I can pass your guard. You know, I know what a fucking Delahiva is, but I'm not good at you, too. So what do I do? Quit? No, you keep going. You make a plan with yourself. I catch one core class and two blue belt classes, and I do the best I can.

And I know eventually someday I'll feel like a blue belt. And at least you're honest with yourself. Yeah. Like you're not jumping in there with the brown belts. Now, after being in L.A., how can you, do you see how important it is to be honest with yourself? Because you saw it. He sees the, he saw it. I don't have to sell him on anything.

I don't have to tell him anything. He used to tell me what he saw. You know, you have to check yourself. You have to be honest with yourself and go, this isn't working. Or I'm going to do this for six more months and maybe do this and adjust this. But you see it out there that people. And you're like, why are they still here? You feel for them.

But again, I can't take nothing away from them because anything can happen at any time. In my world, it's always Wednesday. You know what Wednesday is on the Mickey Mouse Club? No, it's anything can happen day. In my world, every morning I wake up and it's anything can happen day. But that goes two ways.

You get hit by a car. Or you get your dick sucked. You follow me? We get up every morning. It's a 50-50 chance. But do you think anything is possible if you're not honest with yourself? I think you have to be honest with yourself. Listen, anything can happen.

Whether you're honest with yourself or not honest with yourself. But can you maintain that level without being honest with yourself? That's a weird thing. If you see a lot of the comedians, and I'm not mentioning no names, but if you see a lot of comics right now, they got a little bit of an ego. That's what happens after. And then you become preachy on stage.

And that's what happens to comics. They get that fucking ego. I don't want to fuck with that ego. And you always, you relate comedy to MMA a lot. And to me it seems like how sometimes you'll see a fighter lose. And then they action, but then they fix whatever, like made them lose that fight. And then they go and become champ. Like I think it happened to Camaroo and happen to a bunch of people.

And I think that's what happens. because you'll also point to fighters who will continually lose making the same mistake. So I think that has to be the same in stand-up where if you don't look at, okay, I'm not good at crowdwork, or I can't follow this kind of person. I don't know if you will get better. I mean, you tell me, I don't know anything. You have to, listen, metal sharpens metal. So, I mean, if you want to go down to, I don't know, I don't even know how to describe.

this. You know, if you want to go down, if you want to be the big fish in a small ocean, or if you want to be a little fish in a big ocean. And I always want to be a little fish in a big ocean because I have a chance to learn.

When you're a big fish in a little ocean, like for me to, right now, for me to pack up my bags and go to like Denver. Okay? And go there with ego. And smash to open micers. bump them

bumping you know bump them go I'm going up next like a gangster try to do that it doesn't I don't like that

I don't see the beauty in that I never wanted to be that guy that came home and said you know I was at the comedy store and that's all I'm talking about

you know and you know come on guy so you fucking do the best you can you stay honest with yourself

you know you look at the people and you go, wow, he's doing something that I'm not doing. You know, he's doing something I'm not doing. What is he doing to get ahead that I need to do? And you'll see and you jump on. Life is a beautiful thing, guys. You know, you could either fucking sit on the bench

or going and playing the game in life. It's up to you. And it's just fun. It's fun to, like, when you try something, like as scared as I was yesterday, like oh and i'm not going to name any names but we were doing a a show in Vegas once and there was a new comic who had just been doing it and you asked him if he wanted to go on and he he didn't and i get i get that i get being scared to go on in front of like i don't know what that was a thousand people

and but i think that might have been like the last time he did stand up yeah he lost he lost and you have to you know when somebody gives you an opportunity or not but You got to jump on it. You know, I mean, listen, if fucking Gungeon Rose just called me today. And they said, hey, you know, we want your band to open for us. I got to evaluate the band to see if I'm ready for that.

Are we ready for this? You don't know what you're getting yourself into, you know? This is hanging out with these fucking savages. This is a different music experience. So you have to be where you're comfortable, you know, You don't ever want to be somewhere, like if I was doing comedy in 2000 and somebody called me to go on a major tour, I was a little stupid.

I would have done it, fucked myself up, and then never worked again. Thank God nobody called me on a major league tour. They called me later on when I could do it, you know? Right. But succeeding in anything, you got to stick it out. We've discussed this for fucking 12 years about just keep showing up. and good things are going to happen eventually, eventually. What's that stupid fucking cliche expression?

No good deed goes unpunished. I'm telling you guys that I'm living proof. Put your fucking work effort into it. You have to make a few sacrifices, you know? Just a few sacrifices. Things that you really want to do that you can't do no more because this is what you want to do and this is what needs to be done.

But it's also, that's why, whether, I don't know if you want to call it a hobby for me or not, but it's something that I don't really see what I'm doing for stand-up, at least not yet, as a sacrifice. And I'm sure eventually if I wanted to, like, take it to the next level might feel like a sacrifice. Yeah. But for right now, it's just, it's something that's only been fun. You like the Boston Red Sox, right? Yes. You like the New England Patriots. Of course.

Okay. So, when you fucking. put your sneakers on and you leave your children, your wife, Athena, I leave mercy and my wife to fucking go do whatever. That's huge, guys. There's people who never do that. You know how how it is for some people to put their sneakers? You know how hard it is for me to put my sneakers on at 730 for a fucking year I was here? Wasn't going to happen. Wasn't going to happen. But once you're willing to make the sacrifice, just that alone. I mean, if you live by yourself and you're a Jamoke in a basement and you have a pet lizard, it don't matter.

You know what I'm saying? Hey, let lizards fun hang out. Yeah, we don't even eat lizard meat no more, so that's good. But, you know, everything's a fucking sacrifice. When you have to go out at night, you like the Red Sox. You know, if it's a Sunday night, New England's playing, late game, you have to go do a spot. You know, these are all sacrifices, guys. I have to walk away from my daughter at dinner.

It's all fucking sacrifices, and you know what, man, I think they always get rewarded. I think everything gets rewarded. I told you guys, I want us that the universe takes care of you. But they have to see that you're making a fucking effort. And that's the most important fucking thing. And that's it for a beautiful fucking Monday morning in September. What I'm fucking around when I keep you here all day?

It's Monday morning. We just want to put a good word into your ears so the rest of the week is fucking beautiful. I'm doing the Sony Theater again. October 8, do not pay over $40 for you. the tickets. Lee will be here with me again and the show's going to get bigger

and better. I see it coming. I want to thank the Sony all for even thinking of me and it all worked out and my fucking, the biggest star of the night Saturday night was Laughing Gas. I want to thank Scott and Joe

Pepper and the crew from Laughing Gas. They came, they gave away T-shirts, they gave away bags, they gave away bags of Rifa. just a tremendous I'm very proud to be together with laughing gas they really did a great job

and that's it and that's that thank you brother thank you Mike for coming last night it was a lot of fucking fun and it's Monday morning cock suckers you own this bitch I'll see you cock suckers Wednesday morning

tip top Magoo now for a word for my fucking sponsor Jack all right you bad motherfuckers I want to thank Lee Syatt I want to thank Mike

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